#so many forms. so many things to update. constantly. and like i shouldn't need a lawyer but theyd know what i actually need but i do have

[theood]

Really thinking about legally changing my name now. I was waiting for... Reasons. Some real some just because I didn't feel like I could but like. You know.

[kookslastbutton]

Fine Print ༓ jjk, kth (m) || ch. I

✑ Summary: Your boss needs you to strike a deal with one of South Korea's biggest business tycoon, Kim Taehyung. What he didn't tell you though, was that Jeon Jungkook, his negligent heir, would be accompanying you the whole time. Isn't this just peachy?

Pairing: company heir!jungkook x fem!reader x ceo!taehyung (not poly)

AU/genre: angst, humor, fluff, smut, stuck together, office au, coworkers2lovers, lo-love triangle (do I dare? yes, yes I do), mini-series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 4.1k+

Now playing: Softcore, Do I Wanna Know?, Blank Space...

Warnings: Not too many this chapter but main ones are swearing, bickering, jk is kind of a kluts so he ain't exactly prince charming right now, reader is ticked obvs, accidental t*tty flash, oh and reader has a cat!

Taglist:

@coralmusicblaze @seokjins-luigi @oopscoop @chanjwl @taebangtanbabe @j3oooonsnsns

A/N: Here it is! Late again, I know, so thank you to anyone who's been waiting. I'm super excited about this mini-series! FYI I've decided not to make chapters too long so I'm more likely to update faster. Enjoy and lmk what you think. My asks are open 💞

One.

Two.

Three.

It's been three hours on the phone with your sister.

'Have you eaten anything yet? Oh dear, why not? Go eat right now!'

'You better not be pregnant __. I'm not ready to be an aunt yet!'

"There are more important things than work you know. I know it's hard to admit but, distance is good so you don't become dull and boring. Get away for a while. You can come up to my place for a few if you need.'

Although Y/S/N is only four years older, she's always had the compulsion to act like your mother. Constantly checking up on you, giving unsolicited advice, and spewing opinions were her specialty.

It's not that you mind hours of conversations over the phone and it's not entirely dreadful. But your energy is surely spent after. Guess that's family for you.

"Really, I'm fine," you answer back. "Don't worry about me so much. And yes I ate, no I'm not pregnant, and I can't afford a break from work right now but I'll see you as soon as I can."

Once the phone slips from your ear, you release a soft huff. Finally. You allow your mind to go blank before something long and sleek brushes against your calf. You can't help but break into a smile and crouch down on the floor to confront the source.

"Did you miss me baby?"

Meow.

"I missed you too." You pick up Kumo, your 3-year-old Siamese. Kumo lived at a local rescue league for a year before you adopted him. You weren't sure you'd be able to take care of a cat when a friend suggested it. But once you saw Kumo's shimmering blue eyes, you knew you weren't walking out empty-handed.

Meowmeowmeow

Kumo kneads your sleeve, ears relaxing as you stroke his back. Each gentle purr reminds you why you consider him your best form of therapy. "Good boy Kumo. I wish I could take you to work with me...silly company policy."

A few strokes later and Kumo starts wiggling in your arms. Claws prick your skin, telling you he's had enough lovey-dovey for now. You suppose it's nearly time for his late night snack.

Meooooow

"Alright I gotcha," you say, setting him near his food dish. Kumo gladly jumps out of your arms to attack the last remaining pebbles in his bowl. "Mom should get something to eat too shouldn't she?"

Truth be told you actually hadn't eaten all day. And though you never meant for it to happen, it's a regular occurrence. Your sister would go absolutely off if she found out which is why you sorta...don't tell her?

Feeling your body aching, you pop a few pieces of fruit in your mouth before deciding to hit the shower. Not the most substantial option but you're ready to crash and crash hard. You'll eat in the morning, for sure. You plug your cell in by the nightstand but before you turn to leave, a notification drops on the screen.

CEO Jeon: __, sorry to be reaching out this late. I need you to come by my office around 2:30 tomorrow if you can. There's something urgent I need to discuss with you. [sent at 9:03pm]

You re-read the message twice before typing out a reply. What could be this urgent? Are you being let go? Dammit, don't think like that. Surely he wouldn't.

__: Of course Saengnim. I'll be there at 2:30pm. Is everything alright? [sent at 9:07pm]

CEO Jeon: Thank you __. Everything's fine, only a slight change of plans. Have a good night. [sent at 9:08pm]

Still unsettled, you're tempted to press further. But being your boss, you let it go. The risk of grilling him for answers wasn't something you were willing to take.

Probably has to do with a new product launch or something, you think. The company's always pumping out new tech. Nothing's been as successful as those smart lights though. They were the true turning point for the company.

With a long exasperated sigh, you grab a towel from the bathroom closet and turn on the shower knob. Whatever it is, you'll find out tomorrow.

"Get your feet off my desk Jungkook."

He looks at you with his notorious bambi eyes, hands laced behind his neck. He's got a stripped dress shirt on, untucked, over a pair of light-washed jeans. Who let the kid in your office?

"I did." He says. "And you're not allowed to call me kid when I'm only three years younger than you."

So you said that kid thing out loud—classic.

"You can't be in here without permission Jungkook." You ignore his comment and hang your jacket on the hook behind the door.

Jungkook eyes you from the other other side of the desk. He takes in your perfectly fitted white blouse, sleek black slacks, and shiny heels. Always so put together, he thinks. A little too posh for his taste personally.

"You know my daddy owns this office." He clicks his tongue. "So technically, I kinda already got permission and all."

You hate when he uses that card. Like being the boss's son suddenly alleviates him from standard office protocol. You promise, the day this irritable little prick takes over the company will be the day you quit. Good thing that won't be for a long time though. Jungkook is far from ready to run a multibillion-dollar company.

You place a hand on your hip. "Is there something I can do for you? Because I have a very generous to-do list and babysitting you isn't on there."

Jungkook sweeps his feet off the mahogany surface. His posture straightens as he strolls his chair, or rather your chair, closer to the desk. "I'm glad you asked." He clutches his hands together, as if serious. "I need a partner."

You hold back a snort. This better not be what it sounds like. "Nice try but I'm not going out with you Jungkook."

"Oh gosh no, that's not what I meant." He shakes his head. "Pretty sure we'd both get in trouble then, given our relationship. Plus…you're not really my type."

"Okay, so there's something we can agree on." Jungkook openly admitting he isn't attracted to you is the least of your concerns. You aren't necessarily fond of him either. "What do you need me to do then? Set you up with someone? Get to the point please."

"I'm not talking about that type of partner __. I mean a work partner."

You feel the hand on your hip slowly glide down your figure. Work partner? Jungkook notices the blood immediately rush from your face. "I'm listening," you mumble.

"Yeah so uh, my dad wants me to get more exposure to the company because I'll be running it one day or whatever. Apparently, there's some business trip coming up that's a really big deal and I'm supposed to go. I was told you have the reigns on it. So I'm gonna need to be like your partner or something. I guess it's already decided actually, sorry.”

The words hardly register in your brain. He couldn't be talking about the business trip. The one that's been rattling in your brain, keeping you up day and night. Your boss assigned it to you months in advance, saying you'd be able to network with the company's potential client best.

You were confident in taking on such a task until you learned it wasn't just any client. It was Kim Taehyung, CEO of the biggest and most luxurious hotel chain in South Korea; White Lotus. Hearing his name alone made your toes curl. Nevertheless, you've been doing all you can to prepare for the official meeting. Having Jungkook there to breathe unnecessary stress down your neck wasn't part of the plan. And oh my god...it's in two days!

"Uh, well um, okay" is all you can reply amongst your jumbled-up thoughts.

Jungkook, completely opposite expression, breaks out into a big wide grin. "Okay, it's settled then! Who we meeting? Kim Taeyang or something?"

"Really Jungkook? Kim Taeyang?" You circle your temple knowing full well what your future was about to behold. This must be what your boss wanted to meet about. The fact that he said this was merely a "slight change of plans" is alarmingly irksome. Oh, you're definitely getting that drink after work. "It's Taehyung," you correct. "Wait...what time is it?"

Jungkook checks his phone. "Uhm..about 2:20."

Dammit. Pressed for time, you stride around your desk and pick up a folder from a stack of documents. "Sorry to cut this short but you're going to have to leave now. I have a meeting in ten minutes and you can't be here."

With furrowed brows, Jungkook lets out a small grunt. It doesn't seem to be from a place of anger but rather, disappointment. "What about the business trip with Taehyang? You still have to get me up to speed and stuff!"

"For the last time, it's Kim Taehyung. Taehyung." You stress every syllable of his name before rubbing your forehead. "You might wanna get his name right before you shake his hand in two days!"

"Well, what am I supposed to do? I'm here all day! I kinda need you."

Anxiously, you flip the folder open and scan through each page. "I don't know, do some research about Kim and his hotel chain. If you're coming on the trip you need to know a thing or two."

"But—"

"Off you go," you say, smacking him with the folder in hand. "Beat it."

"That's no way to treat your work partner or better yet, future ceo __."

"Out Jungkook. I'll talk you to later."

Your boss rounds the corner of his desk, a glass of scotch in hand. He invites you to take a seat before getting down to the heart of it. "Now that Jungkook's 25 he needs to start preparing for his future," he says. "I'm well aware that he's not yet ready to take over as CEO, which is why I've decided that he go with you on this very critical business trip. You've been a loyal part of my team these past five years and I trust you to help guide Jungkook into the next stage of his life."

"Sir, I am pleased that you'd think of me in this way, however, the meeting is in two days. Kim Taehyung is someone who we both know expects perfection. I'm well prepared to have this discussion with him regarding our transaction but I'm concerned that Jungkook won't have enough time to."

"I understand your concern. But not to worry, Ms. __. Jungkook is merely there to observe so you shouldn't need to worry about him saying something he shan't. You'll still be taking the lead on everything."

"Sir I–"

"__. I know its very last minute. And my son has his challenges but I'm afraid this isn't a choice for you. But I tell you what. If you do this for me and you manage to seal the deal with Kim, I guarantee you'll be very well compensated."

The replay of your earlier meeting with your boss brews in the back of your mind. You nearly forget where you are until your friend pipes up from across the table.

“You’re kidding," the younger woman says, nearly spitting out her drink.

“I wish I was.” The dryness in your tone is unmistakable. "My boss said he insists that his son, who by the way has barely stepped foot in the company, be involved in one of the biggest business transactions in years. How am I supposed to sell smart tech to Kim Taehyung with that kid fiddling with god knows what beside me?"

The woman, Eun-ji, flashes you her famous side-eye. “Oh stop complaining __, it'll cause wrinkles. Besides that kid is basically the same age as you. But more importantly, he's hot.” She gives you a light shove. “Don’t pretend you don't know it.”

You shake your head and take a sip of your cocktail. Eun-ji may be one of your closest friends but damn was that girl relentless. Constantly giggling over you and Jungkook going away for a few days is just another one of her matchmaking attempts. Yesterday it was the overly friendly man at the bakery, today it’s your boss’s nuisance of a son.

A blaring light suddenly gets shoved in front of you mid-thought, causing your face to jolt back. Your eyes struggle to adjust to the blinding brightness of the phone screen. “What the hell Eun-ji? Get Jungkook out of my face.”

Eun-ji swipes left, revealing another ridiculous photo of Jungkook posing as the next prodigy of business. “The one to watch” or some shit. “Look at that face __, and those muscles. You can’t hate him forever.”

You scrunch your face. “I never said I hated him Eun-ji. I’m a grown woman for god sak–okay that's enough!” You push the phone abruptly back. “I don’t want to see my boss’s son in Calvin Klien's underwear, please.”

Eun-ji chuckles and sets her phone down. “Sorry, accident.” She casually folds her arms on the wood surface and leans forward. “But seriously, three days alone with Jungkook in the most glamorous hotel in Seoul and you don’t think anything of it?”

“I’m not having sex with Jungkook if that's what you're getting at. And yes, we’ll be in a fancy-ass hotel with joint rooms,” you say emphasizing the joint part. “But it’s not a leisure trip. I’m going there to form some sort of partnership or deal with Kim and Jungkook happens to be carry-on luggage. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Fine. Have it your way.” Slowly, Eun-ji falls back in her chair. Her eyes flicker to a far corner of the restaurant before the same sly expression returns. “So how do you feel about meeting Kim Taehyung, the beast of business and hospitality himself?”

“Still a little shaken up but I've had several variations of these meetings before. Kim Taehyung is just a man and I can handle him.”

“Come on __, extend me a branch," Eun-ji say with a slight whine. "Maybe Jungkook gets by but not Kim Taheyung. We both know you've been head over heels for him in Lalaland ever since he made front and center with the press."

Tugging your bottom lip you desperately try suppressing a grin. "That's such an exaggeration. I'm not–"

"I've known you for ten years __. You're always, and I mean always weak for an intelligent, sexy, business-savvy brain. Kim far surpasses the bill."

"Alright fine, fine fine fine," you chant, giving up. "You're right. I'm still nervous as hell about meeting Taehyung and hope to death I don't fumble. Happy?"

Pleased, Eun-ji lets out a wide grin that tells you she's now concocting a soap opera with you and Taehyung as the main leads. "That's all I wanted to hear," she coos.

"Promise me you'll take good care of Komu? We leave Friday morning."

"Of course, I will," she says, leaning forward to gently grip your shoulder. "Kumo and I are going to have three full days of watching reruns of Love Island. Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan are his favorites."

Friday - 8:04 a.m.

"If you don't get here in the next fifteen minutes I'm leaving with or without you Jungkook." You stroll your suitcase into the boarding line outside your gate. You and Jungkook's flight to Seoul was scheduled to take off in twenty minutes but your partner, get this, woke up late and is now running ridiculously behind.

"Yeah, try explaining why you ditched me at the airport to my dad __." Was it just you or was Jungkook's voice even more annoying over the phone than in person? God you could strangle him right now. You suggested carpooling over well ahead of time to make it easy but no, his highness didn't want to.

"Listen __,"Jungkook continues. "I'm at security right now and I'm rushing as fast as I can. The line isn't too bad now so I'll be there in ten. I'm sure."

"Okay, but don't muck around too much. And make sure to take off your belt before you go through security."

"Yes mom."

"Don't ever call me that," you grit.

On the other end, Jungkook chuckles, relishing in your distaste. "What if I put a couple letters on the end though? You seem the type to be into momm—"

"Just get here!" You hang up instantly. What the hell was he on?

Twelve minutes pass and you're again checking your phone feverishly. Jungkook was supposed to be here by now but there hasn't been any sight of him. You're about to ring him up for the third time today when you feel a body brush against your arm.

"Sorry!" Jungkook leans on the handle of his suitcase, taking deep breaths. "There was...someone had a pocket knife in front of me and it held us up."

"Well if you had–" You pause realizing you really are starting to sound like a mom. So much so that you're making your own skin crawl. You recall Eun-ji's wise words a couple days ago. 'Stop complaining __, it'll cause wrinkles.'

'"It's alright," you mutter. "At least you're here."

"Really? That's it? Thought you were gonna scold me again. 'Jungkook you friggin' embarrassment, I told you to leave early so we'd be here on time. You're lucky I don't send you back to your dad and doom your future right now'."

Oh fuck no. He did not just try imitating you and in such a horrid voice too.

"That's not how I sound and you know it."

Jungkook snorts at your sour face. He isn't trying to be a thorn in the side but he's also not about to let you keep your stiff exterior. Being a CEO's son showed him the true price of being an uptight businessman and it isn't in his interest to let another person, especially his age, live life not knowing how to relax and what was that phrase...smell the roses?

"C'mon sunshine, I'm just kidding around," he says. "Also, glass half full, I did make it here before the plane took off. First day on the job and I'm already killing it."

"How about I make you my assistant instead of a partner," you bite. "And you only talk when spoken to?"

"You wouldn't."

Line finally starting to move you tighten the grip on your luggage and move with the crowd. You tilt your head to the side and flash Jungkook a tight lipped smile that said, 'try it bitch'.

"You're cruel you know that?" Jungkook grabs his own luggage and follows your lead.

Stunning. Immaculate. Expensive.

The list goes on as you and Jungkook walk through the golden doors of White Lotus. Everywhere you look, masterpieces from the great masters hang from the walls and cover the ceiling. You notice the same gold on the door is used as trim for the ceiling as decorative accents mount its corners. Dangling above is a giant glass chandelier, while below you are beige marble floors.

Taehyung certainly doesn't skimp, does he...

"Welcome to White Lotus," the receptionist says. "Do you have a reservation?"

Blinking yourself out of your daze, you walk up to the receptionist's desk. "Yes, we're here under the name Jeon." You usher Jungkook over who takes his ID out of his wallet. The receptionist scans both yours and his before sliding them back.

"Saengnim has been expecting you Ms. __," the woman says. "He's absolutely delighted you're here. Your rooms will be on the 29th floor, breakfast is 7am-10am, and wifi is inside." You're handed two key cards with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Hana," you say, reading the woman's name tag. "We're privileged to be in such a beautiful place."

"Isn't it?" Hana sweeps her eyes around the room with wonder. "Saengnim chooses each and every part of this hotel with immense detail. He wants every guest to be met with the best service and completely dazzled."

"It would seem so," you reply, following her trail. "This is by far, the most extravagant hotel I've ever stayed in. It's clear how it has earned an unbelievably positive reputation. Its creator loves it, cherishes it as his own."

Meeting your eyes again, Hana retains her warm smile. "I'm glad you see it too. It's true Saengnim has poured his heart and soul into White Lotus. Guests from all over the world have come just to see what Saengnim designed. And sometimes, they even get to meet him." Hana suddenly pauses, a hint of shyness creeping up on her cheeks. "Forgive me, I don't mean to keep you. I should let you both rest."

"No, please don't apologize," you urge. "It's great to see such admiration." Evidently, Kim Taheyung isn't the only one who has been dedicated to White Lotus. You and Jungkook bid Hana good night for the evening then follow the bellhop to the elevator.

"So tomorrow, remember, let me handle Kim."

"Okay yeah, I gotcha." Jungkook grazes the blackout curtains with the tips of his fingers. He peaks out the window next, taking in the breathtaking view of Seoul at night.

"Are you even listening to me?"

The man turns around, flinging his arms in the air. "Honestly, not really. Look at this room __. It's fucking huge!"

"I know, it's so ethereal. But I need you to concentrate for a second. Our meeting starts tomorrow and I need us to be on the same page. Technically, we'll be touring the hotel with Kim and whatnot so nothing's getting signed, but still. We can't be underprepared."

"I will talk as little as possible. I give you my word."

"Good." You give a slight nod and hoist your suitcase on the bed. "By the way, did you find out anything about Kim's background?"

"Uh shit–knew I forgot something. I'm going to read up about him right now!" In a mad hurry, Jungkook heads for his room.

"Wait, before you go–"

Dammit. You'll just text him.

__: Don't forget we meet Kim at 9 a.m. [sent at 9:56pm]

Jungkook: I'll be up at 6 a.m. Gotta scope out Kim's gym while I'm here. Bet it's loaded with the best equipment. You should join me! [sent at 9:58pm]

__: Mm, thanks but no thanks. [sent at 10:00pm]

Jungkook: Suit yourself. See ya in the morning!! [sent at 10:03pm]

Alright __, you've showered, gone over your notes, hell you even practiced a few lines in front of the bathroom mirror. It's time to sleep. Lazily, you flop yourself on the bed, starfish and all. You feel your eyelids closing, pulling you into dreamland until a cool breeze tickles your bare thighs.

"Ugh", you groan.

You forgot you were still in your robe. Would it be horrible to just sleep naked tonight? Sitting upright you fiddle with the knot of the silk material. Not a bad idea, __. You start loosening the knot before shaking the robe off your shoulders. You let out a–

"__!" Without warning the joint door between you and Jungkook thrusts open. Your partner bursts through your room, eyes shifting into a bugged-out expression when he sees your nearly bare state.

"Oh my god, Jungkook! You can't just come in like that, fuck!" Panicked, you wrap the material back around your chest, clinging it tight against your breasts. "Go back, go back until I say come in!"

Stunned look on his face, Jungkook retreats to his room. He ends up bumping into the doorframe clumsily before slamming the door shut. "I'm so sorry __! Shit, I didn't mean to walk in on you or anything. It's...I came in because something happened. Fuck, I swear I didn't see anything. It was like a blur."

Shutupshutupshutup

You quickly retie the straps of your robe, mentally calming yourself. "Jungkook if you have any respect for me, please forget this. And for the love of might, don't tell anyone!"

"No, of course not! I-I've forgotten already." On the other side of the door, Jungkook curses himself. 'Are you a fucking idiot or something? Just walking into her room like that this late at night.' He paces in a small circle, fists clenched. "Okay, breathe. It's just tits. Tits Jungkook, you've seen–fuck!'

Why? Why did he have to be here?! From Jungkook almost missing this morning's flight to being overwhelmingly underprepared for tomorrow's meeting and now walking in on you, tits out and all, Jungkook is easily the worst partner you've had! No wonder you prefer working alone.

"Uhm, something..." You clear your throat. "Something happened you said?" You brace yourself for whatever chaos Jungkook's brought this time.

Jungkook is slow to form a reply but in a near whisper, he says, "I think I just met Taehyung. Actually, I know I met him. Yeah 'cause, I shook his hand...right before I spilled ice over his perfectly shined loafers. Gucci. Please don't send me back to my dad!"

A/N: Thanks for stopping by! As always, lmk your thoughts. See ya! 💞

Masterlist

© kookslastbutton

[lightwing-s]

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄

pairing: titans!dick grayson x female!reader

summary: a family, a home, was all Yn ever wanted, and when she got it, she had to part ways. coming back shouldn't hurt, shouldn't be this hard. Dick Grayson shouldn't be an asshole, but she shouldn't love him either. word count: 3,5k warnings: cursing, mentions of death, grief, family issues , and my absolute lack of knowledge of green lantern’s lore.

a/n: definitely not proof read, and it's 3:05 in the morning, so pls be kind with any errors lol a/n 2: updated on january 4th, 2024.

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡

⌜masterlist⌟ ⌜requests⌟

Outer space was vast.  Immense with emptiness, and yet still full of life.

The last five years of Yn’s life were spent in this vast nothingness, travelling, patrolling, protecting. The bit of galaxy that was gifted to her by the guardians was her place to keep safe, and the same place where once she had felt safe herself, before discovering the magnitude of this emptiness and the dangers it hid from humans. 

Never in her young life had she expected it to take this turn, to be granted with a ring and the responsibility to be one of Earth’s protectors. She had just turned fourteen when gifted with a ring of hope, but never did she doubt her abilities, embracing the new challenge with a bravery the guardians hadn’t seen before from someone so young, and teaming with Earth’s own green lantern on the quest to defend the planet.

If only Hal knew the young girl was the one in need of defending.

As many heroes' stories go, Yn Sn was the product of a tragic life, having lost her parents at a very early age, and since then bouncing from one foster family to another. The “family” she had found herself in at that point didn’t have anything on family and on foster. They couldn’t care if she went missing for days, only to return bruised and in pain. They just cared for the money in their bank account at the end of the month.

As far as she knew, she was always alone.

Hal Jordan was the first thing to come close to family for Yn. Although reluctantly at first, he took her in and trained the young girl to become a lantern just as good as him. With time, he turned into an older brother, constantly worrying that the life of a lantern would interfere with her personal life, worrying if she was missing school or getting in trouble with her parents for disappearing for too long, but she would constantly brush off these worries, telling him they were with all that.

However, when he found out the truth, he got furious. He took her in, made her his ward “Just as a friend had done with a young boy he’d met, Yn”. But Hal was often away, be it for lantern duties or his own work and personal life, so he was concerned she would feel too alone in their apartment. That she would feel left out.

That’s when he heard about the Titans from Batman, the group of young heroes created by his own protégé, Robin, and a few others. Considering they were all of close age, he hoped they would get along, that she would make friends and finally build her own chosen family. So, with much arguing and persuasion, he took her to San Francisco to join the young team.

At first, Y/n was careful with the other teen heroes. She didn’t know if she could trust them, or even if they trusted her. But with each training session and with every mission she eventually grew to appreciate their company and little by little they became that family Hal had so wished for her.

However, even within the best families there’s always conflict and a certain level of distrust, and her greatest source of both came in the form of a green, red, and yellow costumed boy: Dick Grayson. The famous boy wonder, self-proclaimed team leader, the one that could get on her nerves like nobody else.

Always reprimanding her, always pointing out her flaws. He was unbearable, and sometimes she wished to punch him so hard he’d end up on the other side of the galaxy.

“I told you to stay in formation, not to go rogue and almost ruin the mission, lantern.” He scolded her after their most recent encounter with Cheshire.

“But I got to her anyway, and also disarmed the bomb. You should be thanking me for doing your job, and much better than you ever would.” She confronted him, knowing very well how to trigger the boy.

“We are a team, Yn. T-E-A-M,” he spat out. “Supposedly, these work together, but you wouldn’t have known, as you’re trapped too deep into your own ego to care for anyone else.” Pointing his finger in her face, his own getting red and spit jumping out of his mouth.

Gosh he hated how she could so easily rile him up, how she held a power over him that made everything good turn bad with single a snap of her fingers.

“My ego?!” She laughed, getting even closer to Dick than he already was. “Look who’s talking, Mr. I made myself team captain because I clearly think I’m above everyone else. You think so highly of your plans that…”

“Enough, you two!” Donna interrupted, rubbing at her temples. “If you keep doing this after every mission, I don’t know what I’m capable of doing.”

During her time with the Titans, Yn had to withhold herself from arguing with Robin 80% of the time. The other 20% were times they were sent on missions separately and she finally could feel at peace. But somehow it worked. The team ran as a connected unit, never missing a beat, one complementing the other as if they were parts of the same body.

But that didn’t last long. They worked well until loss and grief broke the connection entirely. With Garth’s death much of that confidence and team spirt was lost to fear, anger, and distrust, and there seemed to be no fixing that.

“If only you had listened to me. If we had taken care of Deathstroke like I wanted to, Garth would’ve been alive today!” Yn screamed at Robin, as her voice trembled, her eyes soaked, and tears started rolling down her cheeks like a waterfall. She had told him, warned countless times, that they couldn’t deal with Deathstroke by simply doing whatever shit he and Batman did in Gotham. Slade was too dangerous to be left alive, and death was the only way to get rid of him for good.

“So, you want to blame me for something that isn’t my fault? You were the one that made him angry in the first place.” he responded.

“We all pissed him off, Grayson. Don’t try to put this on me. I could have been as much of a target as Garth and Donna were…”

“Don’t say this…”

“Or even y-you!” her voice barely made it to the end of this sentence, a lump forming in her throat impeding her from continuing to argue. Tired of everything, exhausted in fact, Yn stormed out of the room and ran to her bedroom, collected her few belongings in a rush and made her way out of the tower.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” asked the Boy Wonder, his voice was shaky and covered in a feeling Yn couldn’t fully comprehend.

“Away!” she replied rashly. 

“Away from where?“

“From everything! The tower. San Francisco. Earth for all that matters. I want out of here!”

Dick was sure her screams could be heard all the way on the street, and just as loud as that was the sound of his heart breaking, shattering on the floor like broken glass. The team was over, and there was nothing he could do about it except watch it crumbling down.

Leaving Earth all those years ago wasn’t an easy decision. After all, it was her home. But with the end of the Titans and the destruction of the only thing she deeply cared for in this world, there was nothing holding her down to stay anyways. The galaxy was now her home, where she travelled and visited so many planets, she didn’t even know were real.

Hal tried to bring her back to Earth with him an uncountable amount of times, but all of them were unsuccessful, and he learned that leaving her be was the best he could do to allow her to heal. When she felt ready, she would return. 

And then, finally, after a little bit more than five long years, Yn felt confident in herself enough to consider going back. It was about time, she missed their sun, the food was always superior then anywhere else, and she had to know how he was. Go back to Earth, she would often think, You have no home here, Y/n.

Upon her return, she expected things to have changed. She expected to see that her old friends had moved on from the crime fighting world, from the hero gig, and left the Titans just a memory. But to her surprise, the present didn’t appear to be too different from what was left all those years ago.

Turning the TV inside her new and tiny apartment, the news shows were all about the apparent reopening of the Titans Towers, about Robin going rogue in Detroit and his return to the city San Francisco with intentions of bringing the once beloved team back. Y/n knew Dick was stubborn, but gosh he could go beyond expected. Why would he do that? Who would do that with him? Did Donna or Dawn or Hank come back too? Are they all stupid brainless masochists?

She knew it would sound hypocritical of her, after all she’s still in her position as a Blue Lantern, patrolling a patch of the galaxy where Earth belonged to. But she had no choice, she made an oath to protect it and if there was one thing Yn was never going to break was a promise.

If it wasn’t the oath, Y/n would have quit five years ago. Or maybe not. Being a hero filled a hole in her heart that left untouched would be filled with pain and hurt instead, so maybe she would stay and keep it filled with everything else but her true feelings.

All those questions were eating up her brain and wouldn't let her sleep at night. So, deciding to rid herself of all doubt, she searched for the one she wished she had left behind all those years ago.

Dick had just turned off the last light in the Titans Tower, the whole team probably sound asleep by that point, as he so wished to be.

Restarting the Titans was an unexpected gift, but also the reconquering of a number of responsibilities that were leaving him gradually more exhausted day by day. A good night's sleep might solve his problem just temporarily, but the temptation of a good rest was always irrefutable.

Just as he entered his bedroom, he noticed a shadow. The shadow of a human, a person he couldn’t identify in the darkness, and his fight instincts kicked out. But before he could’ve attempted anything, the shadow’s sweet voice sent a shiver down his spine:

“When I came back to Earth, I expected it to be in a better position than the one I had left it on, but it appears that humans are much clingier to the past as I thought they would be.” It told him, the owner of the voice someone he hadn’t expected to hear and see any time soon, but that he would have recognized even if hundreds of years had passed.

“Yn?”

“So, you want to bring back the team that took so much from us?” She questioned, and although she was still hiding in the dark, he could notice her trembling chin from just her voice. She questioned him incredulously, still not daring to look away from the huge floor to ceiling windows. “You want to take kids into the crime fighting world just like the man you hate the most did to you?”

Finding Yn Sn in his bedroom wasn’t in his yearly bingo card, nor his decade one. In fact, he truly thought he would never see her again, with how upset she was the last time they had talked. But, ironically, here she was and just as angry as the last time they’d talked. Too much for hanging on to the past, huh?

“This is not what you think.” He declared and Yn turned to him abruptly.

“Explain to me, then,” she demanded, a dark humor hovering her voice. “Why did you take those kids in?”

“You’re acting as if you didn’t start fighting crime yourself as a teenager…”

“That’s different, “ she interrupted, her voice only getting louder. “I got chosen by the ring to defend the universe, it’s a different situation.”

“Don’t come to me with your “I’m special” bullshit.” Dick made quotation marks with his own finger, feeling the anger climb his spine. “Even if it wasn't for the ring, you'd have been just like us, and you know it.”

“Well, now I know better. Kids are not supposed to be fighting crime, or don’t you remember what happened the last time we were in San Francisco?” Shaking her head judgingly, she adds. “You’re unbelievable, Grayson.”

“And you still fail to see the bigger picture, Yn.“ Dick counter argued. “I’m not doing this for the sake of having a team back. I’m doing it for Rachel and Gar, for Kory. They’re strays just like one day you and me were, or did you forget how it was to not have a family and desperately want one?”

The mention of a family had Yn frozen, standing still and staring right back at him without knowing what words she should muster. He knew it was her weak spot, he knew that through it he could make her understand, so poking her wound was his only option.

And he was right. Y/n didn’t forget. The Titans were not just a superhero team, they were a family just like no other, built of strays with no hopes or expectations, those who lived in someone else’s shadows and desperately tried to strike on their own. Even so, the consequences of bringing the team back were far larger than one would think, and Yn so badly wanted to avoid any more heartbreak.

“Still… Don’t you mind the stakes? Don’t you remember the pain anymore? The hole left by Garth’s loss, do you want to feel it again, Dick?” her voice got softer, pain evident in every syllable. “Because you know it will come, eventually. Much stronger than the first time.”

“It’s a risk worth taking.” He replied honestly. If it wasn’t him, then someone else would do it, otherwise they’d be allowing too much shit to hit happen that he couldn’t even contemplate what future it would lead them to.

“Really?! You wanna risk children’s lives, your life? Do you wanna risk all that pain in the name of a mission that never seems to have an end?” She spat out, anger returning to her tone. “You had quit, I saw it. And you have no idea how jealous that made me because I couldn’t do the same. Travelling through space did nothing to soothe the emptiness I felt inside, no crime fighting would fix my heart and you tell me you’re willing to go back to it all when you were finally free?” the burning sensation in her eyes told her news she hoped wouldn’t happen, but at this point, crying was inevitable.

“We can’t be sure if something is gonna happen. It’s a risk worth taking because so far, it has worked for us. We did lose Garth, but remember how much more we had conquered?”

“Having you say Garth's death was worth it, Dick…” she shook her head before being interrupted.

“You know it was not what I meant. Stop twisting my words.”

Dick was growing infuriated. It doesn’t matter how much time passes, Yn Sn is still going to try to paint him as the bad guy when he just wants to get on her good side.

“Because you are so damn capable of keeping everyone alive, right? How about your own life, who’s gonna protect it then?”

“My life is the smallest of my problems.” Dick stated nonchalantly, surprising Yn a little.

That line, that simple sentence had Y/n’s heart shattered. Did he think so little of himself to consider his life worthless? Because to her, his life was worth millions. His life was worth putting hers in danger or sacrificing an entire planet for.

"Don’t say that!" screamed the girl fiercely. "Losing Garth already had me broken. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you too!”

Her sight was blurred due to the tears that allocated themselves in her eyes, uncontrollable, untamed. Her voice felt hoarse, weak, the lump on her throat making her words barely leave her mouth. I am weak, she thought. He knows.

And he did now.

He felt nauseous at first. If his thought process was right, if what she said was real and not a product of his imagination, she… liked him, she cared for him. Liked him enough to not want to lose him, even hypothetically.

Dick was astounded. Never would he have believed it, if anyone had told this him before tonight, that Yn Sn was in any level into him, he’d tell them they were insane. He thought she would rather see him burn over something like this. But it all made to him, all the fights they had after he put himself in dangerous positions during missions, all those arguments when he ended up hurt. She cared about him, him. 

"Yn, what do you mean?" he asked carefully, approaching her ever so slowly. He feared if she saw what he was attempting to do that she would flee like she did before.

"Nothing…" she said while drying her eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "I have to go."

She felt disoriented. She had guarded herself so well all her life, and here comes this stupidly good-looking guy, with his stupidly charming smile, breaking her walls and making her feel so… small and insignificant. Trying to recompose herself, she fixed her shirt and rushed past her old “friend”, only to be stopped as she felt his strong hands holding her in place.

"I know I would’ve gone mad if I had lost you." he confided.

Coming onto his own senses, Dick realized all he wanted was her safety too. Her health, her happiness, her smiles every time the team would fight for the front seat in the plane, the remote control or about what movie they were going to watch. He wanted to see the sparkle in her eyes every time she would make the most eccentric creations with her ring. He wanted her to have the family he knew she had always wished for, he wanted her cared for and loved. And even more, he wanted to be one providing her all of it.

"I wouldn’t have made it if you were the one to have gone. If you were gone… so would I.”

Hearing his confession, Yn body stopped working, her heart stopped pounding and her mind kept repeating his words. Her body didn’t respond to her head saying go, or even to her heart telling her to kiss him, right then, right there.

All these years of hatred made her believe he truly despised her. She thought he would hate her for leaving, for being selfish, for hurting him. She hated that pain and herself for feeling it, making her a fucking coward. But all this time, he was hurting just like her. He was a coward too, she thought. A silly, stupid, and lovable coward.

"You are incredibly stupid, you know." she blurted out, and he laughed.

"And you are the hardest person to love in this whole entire world."

The four-lettered word threw a burst of energy into Yn’s body, awakening it and her thoughts. Her body erupted with an energy not even the ring had made her feel, and without another thought, without wasting anymore time, without waiting five more years, she kissed him.

Passionately, lovingly, intensely. She kissed him for all the lost years, for all the accumulated anger he made her feel. For never stopping being that boy full of hope and determination, and the hardest of heads she’s even known. 

Yn loved Dick Grayson. She always did. And from the way he kissed her back, she knew he did it too.  That his words were not lies of his to try and get her back. She felt his love, his passion. She wanted to feel it more and more and more…

"Stay with me…" he begged, voice mixed between heavy breaths. "With the Titans."

His forehead rested on hers, his eyes closed, as if praying she'd say yes. Even if her mind kept telling her it was a bad idea, that bringing back the team was dangerous, her newfound softness for him pushed her into saying yes, into staying. Into building again, the family she once had, but now in the right way, now with him by her side.

With a sigh and a desire of getting intoxicated on him once more, a desire that was making her lose all her senses and certainly her mind, Y/n answered:

"I’ll have to think about it."

Unbelievable. With a shake of his head and a soft, breathy laugh, Dick held her face in his hands and kissed her once more, giving her what her eyes were begging and knowing damn well this time she was gonna stay. She was gonna be with him, and there was no way he’d let her go.

She was here, with him. At home. He was her love, her friend, her home.

[sincerelyveronica]

His Name Is Ralph Yarl

Is enough, enough? America is a cesspool of blood and violence. If it's not one thing, it's most certainly another thing. An ending to all of this terribleness seems so unlikely. I feel like I can't even find the words to truly express the thoughts and emotions racing in my brain. I can't even begin to think about what the Black community must be going through.

Seriously, how many times do Black mothers and fathers have to have conversations to their kids about how to be safe in this hellhole? Tell me, how many times do they have to reopen a wound that barely healed the last time? Everyone right now should pay attention. I wish things weren't getting bleak, but they are.

What bothers me and will forever bother me, is the indifference. The sheer lack of compassion or concern. Everyone keeps talking about how tired they are hearing about racial issues. BUT no one seems to listen. NO ONE WANTS to make it better. No one wants to learn and understand racism. Newsflash, it's not going away. Establishing a superior race that is only white throughout history goes to show that always been about race. Using that notion as dominance for centuries and constantly reminding other races that they are less--is exactly why this country has never excelled.

I will never be ok with this form of violence. Ralph Yarl was on his way to pick up his sibling. THAT WAS IT. I don't know what happened in between but I can tell you that all of this could have be prevented. Ralph Yarl could have been turned away. He could have gone picked up his brother at the right address. It's a miracle that boy is alive. But he shouldn't had to fight for his life.

I hope he continues to recover. I hope he still finds joys after this experience. I'm sending all my love to his family because I can't even imagine what they went through when they received the news.

Check on your friends, make sure your friends are ok. Be mindful of the Black Community. Don't ask, don't talk about it unless they want to, and just show up. Be there for them and more.

[kierancampire]

Oh by the way, I saw something kinda wild the other day

I discovered that the PS5 shows you your games in order of longest play time, I couldn't believe that Odyssey was just below Genshin!

To explain a bit, Genshin Impact is an RPG but a very different one. I stopped playing years ago after the, I believe it was Liyue story finished, which was the second or third area I believe in the game. Part of Genshin's thing is it is constantly in development, it would have these huge updates any time a new area and more story was unlocked, it constantly added new characters, daily events, seasonal huge in game events, daily check ins. It was just one of those games that made you come back daily, give you loads to do, and yes the story was never over as they are constantly releasing chunks of the story at a time. And it of course has that thing where upgrading things is hard as shit, you need super rare resources, limited events, "luck" with pulls and getting duplicates, luck with pulls in general, everything takes ages to acquire, they make it tedious as they want you to speed the process up with money. So it being a game I spent 180 hours on makes sense, it's this never ending cycle of events, daily activities, and waiting for the next story/area to unlock

Now in contrast, while Odyssey had forms of daily events, and it had forms of extra story with paid DLC (which I got and played), it's just a single RPG game with none of the added extras and incentives that Genshin has. It's like Kingdom Hearts 3, Ni no Kuni 2, FF XV, Immortals Fenyx Rising. It shouldn't have the hours it has in contrast, it should be like 60-80 hours at most. But it's so large, full of so many things, and was so engaging I "only" played it for 23 hours less than Genshin! Which under other circumstances 23 hours is a lot, sure, but when you're comparing a completed and finished game, to one that constantly hosts new events, new activities, new stories, new locations, new characters and so on, 23 hours really isn't that huge of a difference! Genshin should be 100+ hours above any other game!

It shows though how much time and effort I put into Odyssey, how much I loved the game, and how addicted to it I was! And yeah, you just sort of have to admire they made a game that huge and that detailed! Thing is, like most games I play, there was still a ton of stuff I could do so I wasn't even close to finished after all those hours!

[aprayerforclarity]

9/18

I think it's so crazy. I think my approach to writing in general has changed so much in the almost month I haven't updated this tumblr. When I first started on this tumblr, I was doing a morning pages style with free association. I would try to get as many words as I could out as fast as I could write them. While I do think this can be a form of meditation and can maybe free myself of the fear of writing. I think I was approaching it in the wrong way. Just like with a typewriter or a pen, I feel like I need to take time between sentences to think about this. I need to know where to go with these things. Once again the fear of being a bad writer prevents me from starting, just like that of the programming. I think that both writing and programming are extremely scary to me because they don't really have all the answers waiting for me. They're both so abstract, and there's so many approaches to either on of them that I never really know if I'm doing it "right," I just know when I'm wrong, by either enummerable errors in vscode or that when I read something I've written, it just seems terrible to me. The victories don't really feel like victories when it comes to writing or programming. It just kind of feels like an eternal struggle, that I have to muster up the energy for each time I attempt either. Once again, I know life ebbs and flows, you feel so strong one week and then hopeless the others. I just have to keep trying to establish routines and rituals to carry me through. And as far as writing or programming goes, I think I need to find ways to make the victories feel like true victories instead of labored steps. But the question is, how? Instead of forcing myself into a routine, how can I make it feel good?? I mean, like when I started going to the gym, it was really a labor for quite a while, but now I do enjoy going to it, and my actions to go to the gym feel automatic, like it's just something I do in my week. Of course, when I get there it's sometimes really hard, but then I just make myself do the minimum that I've designed and get out feeling better. But it's the feeling better part that doesn't really happen with me in writing or programming. I feel like it's a chemical thing with lifting weights that makes me feel good, but how can I get that to happen with writing or programming? Does this mean that I shouldn't be doing either? That I'm averse to either of those things? I'm just not sure. It sometimes literally causes me psychic pain... It's why I avoid it at times. It feels like it hurts and the payoff is never really that great. Therefore my mind turns to other alternatives. In fact, I feel like I'm constantly distracting myself with other inputs.... subconsciously and even against my higher will. I guess I will pray to God and see if they will help me out of this. That's another thing too, I think I'm really starting to believe in god now. I came across a really interesting concept by a philosopher named Ken Wilbur, called the four quadrants of knowledge. The starting top left quadrant is that of personal, subjective reality. This is the realm of religion, spirituality, dreams. The next quadrant, the upper right, is the personal objective reality. This has to do with the physiology of your body, science and objective reality. The next quadrant is the bottom left, which is that of the collective, subjective reality. This has to do with culture, societal norms and values. The final quadrant is that of the objective collective reality. That has to do with the economy, and technology in society? To be honest, the last quadrant is the most confusing for me to understand.

Anyways, with this framework in mind, I feel like I've been spending way too much time in the second, upper-right quadrant. It has to do too much with the material, "objective" world. While yes, I do believe having a firm grasp of this is what our society values the most and it is extremely important to have an understanding of it, it is very devoid of what humanity really holds. Humans are obviously such spiritual creatures, and instead of me just dissecting that and dismissing all notions of that matter, I've come to realize how important it is to not only indulge in that kind of thinking, but truly listen to it...

I think growing up in the early 2000's where culture was really starting to become "self-aware" and therefore self-conscious makes me have this complex of laughing at things I deem "childish" and "imaginative." I also think that growing up in the church and becoming aware of the horrors it commits also makes me inclined to turn away more mystical thinking. But now, I think there really may be something to this... It is a realm I have really been neglecting. And it's not like I have to become religious or anything. This realm also has to do with my imagination, and giving it more room to breath and operate. I mean, that's where I have some of my best attitudes, is that I allow myself to be happy and have a carefree attitude towards things.

Anyways, I'm honestly already starting to feel better about writing in general. I think that it can really be freeing and focusing. I also took 75ml of lions mane extract today, and I do feel like that's having a concentration effect on me, and in the best way. I'm about to do more research on it, as well as the four-quadrants to get a better feeling on that forth and final quadrant. I'm also fearing doing the following things, so I'm going to write them out to expose myself into maybe making me do them:

Look into getting my haircut and styled so I can look good at Matt's wedding this weekend

Clean out my car

Clean up my room

Write Matt's wedding speech

Work on computer programming

Writing my book

(Not really scared of going to the gym, but I'm writing it down because I want to do it anyways)

Also, I kinda feel like I want to stop doing the tarot cards because they kinda scare me. I think I'm going to stop doing them for now until I feel better about them. I know the are in the first realm quadrant, but I think their mystical power literally scares me lol

Thank you everyone!!

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere Best Friend pt 2

tw: self harm, mentions of violence, general deranged yandere shenanigans, angst

ageless blogs n minors DNI blease tq <3

part 1 here

my masterlist

this sucks bros i broke my fucken leg and i cant move, my cast is so itchy and i cant scratch and i feel nasty cause i cant shower

feeling bads, so thats why i churned part 2 out faster thn usual , its shorter than before but just need some angsty comfort atm

as uaual many errors cause i did not proofreasd

enjoy i hope

You left the exam hall a couple hours later. To find out that your dad left a total of seven missed calls. You thought someone fucking died.

Of course, you called back. Preparing for the worst.

Your father picked up the phone, he explained that it was your friend. He had a mental breakdown because you weren't there for the opening of his dream restaurant. Eventually though, he calmed down enough to come back into the building to return the phone, eyes noticeably dull and tired, worse than before. He never stopped trembling.

The three of them sat down and talked.

Neither of your parents knew you stopped contacting him. They thought everything was fine, so your friend couldn't fault them for that.

Your parents trusted your friend, so they gave him your phone number and told him basic information about you now. Such as, the country you're studying in and the course.

You felt a pang of guilt, but you had to move on. You understood that he was busy, it would probably do no good for you to try and reach out to him. You would just ruin his plan and distract him too much. At least, that was what you thought.

Usually, he would call every day. But that turns to once every three days. Then once a week. Then never.

It's true that he would not miss a single day to send you a sweet message, a reminder to practice self care and that you're very dear to his heart. Which would be then followed by an update to his progress, it was stressful to read what he was going through and that was all he talked about. You felt like his personal diary, he stopped asking about how things were going for you.

Since it doesn't seem to bother him you weren't replying because he would send his texts when the entire world is asleep, you stopped opening his texts too.

You wanted to tell him in person that you're moving out to pursue your studies and you were granted a student loan. A crushing student loan. But... You believe his ten minutes of free time a week is better used for his sleep. Or even going to the bathroom perhaps.

A day passes by another and in the end, you moved on without him. Without telling him. It just always slips your mind every time you see him brisk walking towards his beat up car with a stack of metal trays in his arms. They must be extremely heavy, you could see the veins bulging out of his forearms and forehead.

It was hard to watch his cheeks get sunken in, his hair going back to its' matted, unhealthy state, dark bags forming under his constantly bloodshot eyes. He looked like he aged a decade older from all the stress and pressure. But... He is working towards his dream and you're happy for him. It was great that he finally achieved what he wanted, he deserved all of its glory for working his ass off like that.

You held no ill will towards him, but you grew apart. He was so consumed with work that the friendship suffered in silence, there were no more fun hangouts together at the mall, you don't get to eat his cooking anymore (you didn't want to burden him by buying a tray, he already has too much to do), no more fun conversations about the silliest shit. It was just... Bank loans, revenue, expenses, investors, employees, employers, credit score, mortgages, taxes etcetera. The urgency and distress was also rubbing off you too, there were nights you woke up in a cold sweat because you had a nightmare that your hypothetical restaurant failed and you went into debt.

So you thought, he needed his time. You shouldn't really interfere with anything you don't understand. Your friend is already nose deep in the real world, you're not even close to it yet and you're not ready for it yet either. Therefore, you took the route most young adults take after getting a high school diploma: getting a bachelor's degree in some field of study that you probably don't even like.

You trudged onwards to the direction of your hostel. You need to get ready for your shift, money is a little tight now and you don't want to burden your parents too much. They're already sending a lot of money to support your living.

If your friend knew you were working hard for some extra money, his heart would break. It would be devastating news to him, no doubt, he would at least have a dozen freakouts and breakdowns. But you don't know that, yet.

As expected, your friend eventually called you. It was later than expected; it took him a week before he called your new phone number himself. He needed to calm down and collect his thoughts, as he knew that he might just drive you away if he comes barreling in with passionate yelling and sobbing over the phone. Plus, he also needed to focus on his new restaurant too, he can't just abandon his lifelong dream like that. How else is he going to make enough money to provide for you? He can't take back the money and time he invested in this now, all he can do is keep going and find some compromise.

It was tempting to go M.I.A. and hastily book a plane ticket to wherever you're studying. He was deeply yearning for your presence, he was desperate, he was clawing his arms and decorating them with nasty scars in an attempt to keep the urge at bay. He was extremely miserable but he had to keep going, to build that wonderful, cushiony foundation for you and him to fall back onto.

Everything he does, he does it for you.

He was polite, kind and pleasant during the first phone call you both had in two years. Though, there was a noticeable twinge of hurt in his mildly wavering voice. He still sounded like he's happy and relieved to hear you again.

The call started off with a greeting, then some small talk, then finally to the meat of the call;

Why didn't you tell me? He asked. It seems like he was fighting back his tears.

You didn't answer right away, you don't know what to say.

You could tell him the truth that he was too busy with his endeavors and you just don't feel like interfering by burdening him with "unnecessary information". However, you think that might wound him deeply as you're somewhat blaming him for your own actions.

You could lie... and tell him what, exactly? Either way, it would hurt him even more and there is probably going to be some resentment.

So, you apologized. You kept your reasoning brief and simple; you needed to move on. You acknowledged that whatever you did wasn't very nice of you, but you still had to proceed and you thought that it would be better that you didn't tell him.

There was a moment of silence between the both of you.

On the other side of the call, your friend was wracking his brain, trying to comprehend what you just told him. It came across as you not wanting to do anything with him anymore because you feel unprioritized, unimportant, inferior. Guilt and remorse was eating him up, he is putting all the faults onto himself.

He spiraled downwards in that call, spewing nonsense and absurd promises to destroy everything he has ever worked for just to have you back in his arms. Deranged negotiations involving the idea of blinding, deafening, mutilating or doing some sort of bodily or mental harm to himself to prove something; prove that he puts you above everything else and also to punish himself for neglecting you.

It was horrifying to hear your dear friend babble about putting himself into financial ruin for the sake for your forgiveness. He spoke of his accomplishments and advancements as they were disposable, as if it held no value compared to you.

This isn't normal, far from it, Your friend devolved so much to the point he was making demented pledges to kill and maim your enemies for you, and only you. To eviscerate the ones you dislike and send videographic proof of it, to disembowel his business associates to show that they mean absolutely nothing to him. Mind you, he was talking about real, breathing, living humans.

It was hard to fully grasp the insanity in his now incoherent words, he was muttering apologies and self hatred. Promises of severe self harm was also common in his mad speech. At one point, religion and superstitions were thrown into the mix. But you could not understand what he was chanting about.

What the fuck are you talking about? Your friend didn't pick up on your distress... or words over his excessive tirade against himself.

Everything I do, I do it for you, and I would do anything and everything for you. I love you- You hung up.

You couldn't take a second more of that. It was really difficult to see this side of him. It hurts you too that he became like this, perhaps all the stress from building a business from the ground up fried his mind. Whatever it was, you knew that he is not good for you anymore.

You sent him a final text message telling him that you're not comfortable with him after that massive sanity slippage. You wished him luck and expressed your regrets that it had to turn out this way.

You didn't give him a chance to respond, you blocked him immediately on everything and went on with your day.

Whatever he said kept replaying in your head like a broken record. It was pure horror.

[beatsfortheillperth]

Words with Jetson

Our next interview is with a producer and rapper out of a beautiful place known as Tauranga, in New Zealand, This creative is known as Jetson.

He happens to be one of my cat, Rain's personal favourites for sleep time and regardless of the amount of thumping bass Jetson's music creates and picture frames it knocks over, I understand why he sleeps so sweetly.

Probably a lot to do with the fact that bass has rhythm, just like the sweet sweet words Jetson correlates with his word-plays in tracks such as "Milk" and "SENSEI". Not only impressing cats, Jetson has made moves and connections beyond the long white cloud, proving isolation doesn't always silence brilliance. Jetson brings words any generation can hold some sort of relevance to, words that allow one to notice life moves fast and slow and sometimes you just have to chill and become an observer rather than an instigator.

This is something I feel Jetson has accomplished with his rather low-key approach to releases and interviews.

Jetson is a natural, a true prodigy of sound and a sharer of moods, and to me, is a reminder that with a little bit of passion and persistence, great things can happen, whatever your field.

Jetson’s collective and label - Chill Children is evidence of that, as through it , Jetson is able to work and release with producers and beat-makers all over the globe.

emo the optimist, BACKWHEN, fuyu, eets, and junyii are just some of the diverse talents working with Chill Children and everyone on the catalogue are game-changers that make music that’s anointed in chills. 

Creators that push boundaries and portray emotion through sound in the most soothing way, one must check Chill Children.

So with that I hope you enjoy rare words with the nuance wonder, and in his own words.

Sit back, relax, get baked, create, f**k it.

Enjoy and much love.

Hey man thanks for the opportunity to share words. Let's start with a few random quick questions to get things going. Favourite Beverage: Lemon water. Favourite thing to do in your down-time: Make music/skate. Views on Reincarnation: It will be cool if it is true but I guess it doesn't really change anything if it is 🤷‍♂️ Favourite Food: Sushi. Favourite Album of All Time: Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders A song to break it down to: Ethereal & Playboi Carti - Beef A song to chill to: Durand Jones & The Indications - Cruising to the park Do you prefer Sunrise? or Sunset? Why?: Sunset, because I'm never awake for sunrise. A childhood memory in regards to music: I remember saving up to buy Graduation by Kanye West and listening to that shit front to back for weeks straight. Favourite Place to be: Probably on an island.

Thanks for that, so let's start by asking what inspires you to produce and not only produce but continually produce, what to me is an array of tunes fitting so many genres?

Do you have a set of goals in place when you release a track or do you just hit upload and just hope people are feeling your sound?

What I like to listen to is constantly changing so I like to challenge myself to try and make the things that I'm inspired by.

I like to think that you never know what you're gonna get when you listen to my music but I've still got so much to learn and experiment with. I just try have fun with it and not think about it too much.

How long have you been producing music, and what did you find was hardest to get the hang of when it first came to producing beats?

I had no music theory knowledge or anything when I started making beats (I still don't have much) so there was a lot to learn right away.

Probably the hardest thing that I still battle with is knowing what you should release, what you shouldn't etc. It's hard to balance knowing when something is finished and when it still needs work.

Could you give a quick run-through of the process you follow when it comes to making a beat?

I try to change my process as much as I can to keep things fresh and fun for myself. But I really enjoy hearing a sample somewhere like keys, a quote or a rapper I want to remix, then I start working with that piece and see where it goes.

I'll mess around with the beat for a while and sometimes a track comes out. It can take one day, it can take months. Just depends.

Oldies are always goodies in my books and I have to mention your "bumps from 2014" mixtape, it truly is something special.

What inspired those little bumps? What were you doing back then? Also, can you remember the mood you were in when you made them?

I'm glad you like it haha. That was when I really had no clue what I was doing in terms of making beats, I was making all of those 'off the grid' in Ableton so I was placing drums in random places, I had no idea what bpm the samples were or anything. I really didn't know wtf I was doing, just going off of a vibe. 

My mood was really just being excited about making music, I was living in the basement at my mum's house blasting beats on the speakers all day.

[bumps from 2014] - https://soundcloud.com/sleepgodd/bumps-from-2014

You are also a rapper. My favourite NZ rapper to be more precise so thank you for the vibes you create. How did you find out you had it in you to rap and how old were you?

Damn, I appreciate that ✌️ I started rapping with a friend of mine, Jesse aka j cafe when we were around 20. We'd sit in my room smoking weed, and free-styling over beats on Soundcloud all night. 

Then we decided to make a track, so we found a beat and jumped in the closet to record some vocals on the laptop microphone.

We put it up on Soundcloud and I've been addicted to making music ever since.

Link to j cafe’s Soundcloud here - https://soundcloud.com/j-cafe

Cover art for Jetson’s 2019 rap release - bluntscraps

Album cover art by Takuroh Toyama

When did you first start rapping in front of others? What did it feel like in the beginning compared to now when you perform live?

I was insanely nervous the first time I ever did anything live and that feeling really hasn't left me lol.

Except now I know how to deal with nerves a bit better and actually enjoy the whole experience of doing something live.

I definitely think I'm a lot better now than my first time doing it, but I still kinda suck 😂 Staying on topic with your rapping, material-wise you have mad skills, your music is forever helping me chill out so thank you.

When did you start writing down your words and turning them into structured songs? Do you have any other artists that inspire your writing style?

When I was younger I really liked the flow of rappers rather than what they were actually saying.

Dudes like MF Doom and Earl Sweatshirt really influenced me at the start wanting to come up with lines that were catchy and different.

To form an actual track I usually just mumble over beats to get the flow, then I start placing words in the spots where I think they fit.

Does your family know you make music? If so what do they think of it, any dance parties in the Jetson Family Household? 

My immediate family all know and support my music. My mum used to have one of my tracks as her ringtone for years lol.

No jetson dance parties yet, but seems like every year more people in my extended family know about my music.

You were also a member of NZ Duo, Chill Children of which you rap and produce with yet another kiwi talent, both having low-key approaches when it comes to presenting yourselves through social media. What happened with that?

Me and J Cafe started Chill Children as a rap project in the early days but we moved to different places in the world and started doing our own solo projects so things sort of stopped happening with it.

I still credit those times with really getting me started on music though. He's still making dope shit and we'll probably link up on a track soon.

So then it became a sort of collective community, and through your Chill Children Soundcloud, you allow a platform for other artists to have their music heard.

Much Love on the concept, What inspired you to start sharing other artists music and what keeps you sharing? I'm very grateful btw, too many gems.

I work on music a lot with my friend emo the optimist (aka kodama) and we always wanted to run a label/collective kind of thing so we could release music from artists that we really liked.

After me and Jesse started doing our own thing, Chill Children seemed like the perfect place to start doing that.

It's one of my favorite things to work on as we have a hand in working with the artists on every release. I just love that we're able to share so much music that we really like with the world.

Check Chill Children here -

Bandcamp - https://chillchildren.bandcamp.com/

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/chillchildren

Instagram - @chillchildren

Any new Chill Children material we should keep an eye out for?

We always have new music from new artists dropping so definitely follow our instagram/twitter if you want to stay updated on it.

We're currently working on a phonk compilation with guys like DJ Yung Vamp, Genshin etc. It's gonna be crazy 🤯

Back to your solo releases through your alias Jetson. What made you want to start putting out your material alone? Also, do you have a favourite Jetson release?

I really felt like I had to release music solo to see what I could do.

I've learned so much about myself through that process, became more confident and a better musician.

Probably my favorite rap track I've made is called 'Escape'.

Not many people have heard it but it's on Spotify and other places.

My favorite beat I've made is probably 'dylan rieder'.

Have to ask, are you working on any new releases we should keep an ear out for? If so, what can we expect with your coming releases?

I just released an album on Bandcamp called THROWED TAPES which was really influenced by DJ screw and other phonk producers.

I'm working on a lofi R&B tape for Bandcamp, a lofi beat tape, and I really want to release a rap EP.

Who knows when those will come out though haha

Taking it back a little to your rapping again I have to mention "Milk". What inspires the words in this track?

Also please share the story behind your track "Melancholy"? The words are somewhat mesmerizing, thank you!

With milk, I just heard the beat from bsd.u and really wanted to make something weird that just followed the flow of the beat.

On melancholy I tried to think about what I was saying a little more. The instrumental is so introspective and smooth I knew I had to come correct on it.

THROWED TAPES By Jetson, released August, 27, 2020

Musical Recommendations?

junyii - emo the optimist - knxwledge - j cafe - jesse james solomon - the smiths - dj yung vamp - shuggie otis - hm surf - alicks - MIKE - baccyard - meraki soul - steve hiett I could go on for days though lol

Creatives to keep an eye out for in music and art? Takuroh Toyama (photography) Moebius (visual art) Steve Hiett (photography/music) Any Last Words?

It really trips me out that people enjoy something I love to do so much.

So just thank you for vibing with me, I have a lot more to share ✌️

Support Jetson here -

Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/highimjetson

Bandcamp - https://jetsonbumps.bandcamp.com/

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/artist/2bkf2PmiVyfCqg2uzIFIqJ

Twitter - https://twitter.com/jetsonbumps

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jetsonn/?hl=en

Milk by Jetson (Production by bsd.u)

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The 7 Secrets That You Shouldn't Know About SEO 2019

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The SISTRIX Toolbox consists associated with six modules 1) SEO, 2) Universal, 3) Links, 4) Advertisements, 5) Social and 6) Optimizer. Low-quality content can severely impact the achievements of SEO, within 2018. When your own SEO starts building strong reasons, competitors can start maligning your own SEO backlinks. ” With content marketing spend likely to reach $300 billion by 2019, this statistic is worrisome. Now the electronic marketing companies know how in order to use AI for SEO, plus in coming years AI can dominate in developing the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies of the digital advertising companies. Ray Cheselka, AdWords and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Manager at webFEAT Complete, the design and SEO agency, states that in 2019 search purpose will continue to become even more important. Expert writers of SEO articles can take the time to study the particular industry or market market. 2 tools to help with nearby SEO are BrightLocal (for rankings) and MozLocal (for local research optimization). Concerning on-page SEO best practices, I usually link out to other quality appropriate pages on other websites exactly where possible and where a individual would find it valuable. It includes a well known Regular Table of SEO Success Factors”, a 9-chapter guide to SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION basics, and links to a few from the site's most useful blog posts. Upon the subject of speed, with the beginning of 2017 generally there was still much resistance in order to AMP in the SEO local community overall, but as we mind toward 2018 that feels in order to be dissipating now somewhat along with a reluctant acceptance that AMPLIFIER looks as though it's not really going away sooner. The biggest way that individuals misuse SEO is assuming that will it's a game or that will it's about outsmarting or deceiving the search engines. Both are crucial to the particular success of an SEO marketing campaign, but they're on completely different edges of the fence when this comes to improving your search motor rankings. Over 50% of mobile phone customers started using voice search correct from 2015, and so we all can expect that in 2019 and after that not much less than 50% of searches will certainly be in the form associated with voice search. Within the past, getting a great SEO was only about making use of keywords. Just remember that , SEO is usually about targeting real people, not really only search engines. In the event that you do these on-page plus off-page elements of SEO with least along with your competition, you can achieve higher lookup engine ranking positions in the particular organic section of search motor results pages and have the quality website capable of preserving your revenue goals. In my opinion that 2018 is going to be the particular year where voice search changes how users search and SEOs need to optimize. SEO or Search engine optimisation is a term coined jointly to describe the techniques that will the website should use in order to boost its rankings on the search engine.