#so lol in that sense i'm kinda relieved it's just... so bad and filled with red flags giving me permission to disregard it

[sillylittlestoryblog]

(Not) Hard to Love

Part 2 (2/2)

Trafalgar Law x Reader

Warning:⚠️ smutty situation, angsty thoughts

Authors Note: sorry that it took so long to post this. I was having a few bad days, just struggling with my confidence. Now I m doing a bit better. So here you go. Hope you have fun 🥰

this is by far the most suggestive thing I have ever written. lol. I hope it doesn’t suck too bad. If you like it, leave a comment. It does wonders to my mental health ❤️ (btw this raspberry jam is just in the story because I have been planning on making it for the past months and this is my reminder to get up from my lazy ass and make it! )

You were relieved, after days of almost doing nothing, because the sun was too hot and your thoughts too distracting, you were finally able to work again. It was one of those days were everyone was doing their best to restore and repair their beloved home.

The Thousand Sunny was a big ship. And after days of not doing much, it often needed some time to get everything organized and clean again.

Knowing your captain wasn’t the biggest fan of an organized living space, most of the work was split between the rest of the crew. While Nami was always on board keeping an eye on the ocean, Sanji was the one who was keeping the kitchen organized, while preparing the dishes for the day.

Franky and Usopp were repairing something in the library, while Brook and Robin were sorting the newest books, they got on the last island.

Luffy and Zoro were supposed to take care of everything on deck, which already wasn’t much. But after cleaning the girls bedroom, you walked towards the kitchen and saw both of them sleeping in the sunlight. Random, uncomfortable looking items being their pillows.

You just rolled your eyes and smirked. These two weren’t really cleaning themselves regularly, so why would they clean something else. It didn’t really make sense why you guys kept asking them to organize, even though you kinda knew they weren’t gonna be much of a help.

Opening the kitchen doors a warm sweet smell came towards you.

Sanji was standing at the stove, filling sugar into a red liquid.

"Uhhh, this smells amazing. May I have a taste?" you point to the boiling jam in front of you with an outstretched finger.

"Of course, my dear."

The cook gave you a spoonful of the sweet liquid and without blowing for long you tasted it.

"It tastes wonderful, Sanji! I'm already dreaming of how it will taste on the fresh crossaints you make from time to time."

The blond man grinned. He had to concentrate now. Not get distracted. Even if he particularly liked compliments from you.

"I'm glad you like it. I bought lots of raspberries so I could cook them for you.

I just realized that a little vanilla is still missing. Could you do me a favor? I have fresh vanilla in our storage room, I just forgot to bring them up from downstairs earlier. Could you get them quickly from below deck? I don't want the jam to burn.“

"Sure thing." With a smile, you walk back towards the door. You suck in the wonderful smell once more before quickly scurrying outside.

You had given Sanji the recipe for this particular jam a few months ago. Your mother used to make it when you were a child.

With quick steps, you skip down the stairs towards the storage room.

Your mind was full of warm memories of sunny mornings. Jam on baked goods. A table filled with fresh food. The last good days of your childhood.

Being on the thousand sunny was kind of like that time. With a smile on your face you walked towards the entry.

The groaning door gave you the creeps. Chopper had accidentally locked himself in down there once before. So, to be on the safe side, you put a box between you and the door. That way, it won't fall shut the next time the wind blows.

The light was already turned on in the storage room. You expected the little reindeer, who often spend time organizing and storing medicines down here to refill them in his little doctor's room when they were empty upstairs.

But it wasn't this doctor who was waiting for you in the far corner of the room.

Law was sitting on the floor looking through several boxes of pills.

Presumably he was going to take care of refilling the medicine room. Chopper probably send him, because he was still scared of last time.

You whisper a quiet "hey" in his direction so as not to startle him.

Law just looked up briefly and mumbled something in your direction.

What was his problem? You were starting to get angry again. Everyone was trying to build a home, be nice and him?! He was just not accepting you whatsoever.

How could someone be so arrogant and ignorant ?

A loud bang snapped you out of your thoughts.

The heavy door had slammed shut.

How could that be? You had just put something in between.

Annoyed, you turn to Law.

"Shit, now we're locked in here. I can't believe Franky still hasn't fixed the door!"

You push against the door with all your strength. It doesn't move. With a loud groan you press on the door again. But it doesn’t help. A large hand rests on your shoulder.

"Hey. let me try it, Y/N-ya. I'm sure I can get the door open."

You step aside and let the dark-haired man go at it. He also pushes against the door with all his might, but it doesn't move a bit.

Frustrated you started screaming for your friends to help you out of this awkward situation.

"Hey Namiiiii! Luffy! Frankyyyy!!! Help!"

"fuck! don't shout in my ear" Law

dramatically put his hands to his ears and stared at you angrily.

"do you want to get out of here or not?! Apparently mister-I can do anything- wasn't strong enough to open a simple door after all."

"Excuse me?"

The captain turned to you. He looked down at you, annoyed.

You took a step towards him. Pointing your finger on his chest.

"I finally want to know what your problem is?"

"I don't have a problem"

"Oh? Really? You're a fucking liar, Law."

"It's none of your business, what's wrong with me. Don't talk to me like that.

Your crazy captain has decided to form an alliance, and if that's a problem for you then talk to him and not to me."

Annoyed, Law turned to the side. He only took one step before you pulled him back by his shirt sleeve.

"Hey! Stay here. I don't have a problem with you or the Alliance at all."

Your back was against the cold iron door.

Law actually turned back around and took two steps towards you.

Only now do you realize how close he was to you.

"Why are you making it so difficult for me?"

His gaze was still avoiding yours. How much you would have liked to look him in the eye now. But then you probably wouldn't have been able to hold back. Your emotions were already getting the better of you.

You spoke to him much more calmly than before.

„What's so hard, Law? I can understand that you don't like me as much as the others. But why do you hate me? Is it that hard to just like me? Or even less. Just to accept me?"

Tears welled up in your eyes. Your own words stung your heart. All you wanted was to be looked at him. Be seen.

Law still stood rooted to the spot in front of you. One hand in front of his eyes, he shook his head.

„What makes you think I hate you?"

Your voice wasn't ready to answer that question. You just shrugged your shoulders, sobbing. You would like to sink into the ground. Now you're crying in front of the man who has no interest in you. You were a failure. A pathetic girl crying in front of her crush. Nothing more.

"hey. Shh. Don’t cry. Look at me when I'm talking to you."

Sternly but without anger in his voice, Law put his index finger under your chin. So that you can't help but look into his gray eyes.

" I don't hate you, Y/N-ya.“

A sigh escaping his lips. His eyes looked different then before. You almost thought he was leaning in. And the air around you got thicker and filled with more tension.

„I really don’t. Quite the opposite in fact. Ever since I saw you for the first time, I've been attracted to you. I just can’t act on it.

I have responsibilities and… I'm not a particularly good person. I've done bad things. I've taken lives when I should be saving lives as a doctor. I don’t want more people to get hurt because of me. And to be honest, I've never had feelings like this before. I have no idea how to deal with it.“

He looked down. Almost debating if he should say the next part.

„I think of you. All the time. I lay awake at night and all I see is your face. I long for your touch. And I want to learn to love, Y/N-ya. But I'm afraid of it. Fuck."

He took a deep breath. And exhaled.

"I want you. I need you.... And I don't know how..."

"Shhh."

Now it was you who put your index finger on Law's lips and slowly stroked his cheek with your hand.

"Just kiss me"

Horrified by your demanding words, Law looked down at you. He forgot how to breathe for a moment. His heart was beating so fast in his chest that he could hardly hear anything else. Your lips opened to say something. He didn't want you to change your mind. He took your face in both hands. Before he pressed his lips to yours.

"Just so you know. it isn't hard to fall for you, Y/N. But I m afraid, I have no clue what I m doing. My life is..."

"Law... just kiss me"

You moved forward again, pressing your lips to his. Law felt like the walls he had build up so maticulously, melting away by your kisses. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore, letting his desire take over.

Soft moans escaping your mouth while he pressed you against his body and the door behind you. You were caged in by his arms fully accepting whatever was gonna happen now. Your hands exploring the doctors body, while kissing each other hungrily. Law let out a low groan. This was better than in his daydreams. Your soft hands roaming his chest. Tracing his tattoos with lingering touches. One of Laws hands firmly placed against your hip. Shoving you against the metal door. Law was overwhelmed by his emotions. Not a single thought in his mind while he started grinding against you.

Using your moaning as chance to slide his tongue into your mouth.

His lustfull eyes being the most beautiful sight to you, while you buttoned down your summer dress.

Law was breathing heavily. His hair fully out of place by you tugging at his dark strands.

He can’t remember the last time he didn’t take the time to unbutton his shirt, but right now he was rushing to get it over his head. Throwing it down on the ground next to your dress.

Moving towards each other like magnets, lowly groaning between kisses, Law lifted up your thighs around his hips. Moving you against the door again.

His jeans rubbing against your panties. Making you cry out his name.

And for the second time that day you were interrupted by the same door you were making out against. The (stupid ) door opened with a loud hiss. Falling out of its angle. You and Law tumbeling and falling to the wooden floor.

This was a very annoying disturbance to your newly found passion. But it definitely wouldn’t have stopped you from showering Law with kisses, if it wasn’t for the circle of people and a very shocked reindeer standing around your almost naked bodies.

You and Law got up from the floor with red heads and stupid explanations. Feeling humiliated but kinda happy.

Law held his shirt protectively in front of you and hoped fervently that no one was looking at his jeans.

You looked at a bunch of different expressions.

Nami grinning. Robin, playing shocked, with one hand over her mouth. But she couldn't fool you. Her giggle was the first to be heard from the crowd.

„We really only planned for you guys to finally talk about it… that all… -

Nami made some hand gestures towards your half undressed bodies and the broken door on the ground.

„ - was not our intention.“

Usopp covered his own and then immediately afterwards Chopper's eyes. While Franky and Zoro toasted with sake in their hands. Apparently everyone was part of the stupid bet.

Luffy just looked back and forth between you and Law, confused. Obviously he hadn't quite understood yet, what was so exciting about this situation. He had seen you guys in swimwear before, not really something different in his eyes.

Sanji had blood all over his shirt and on his nose but tried to control himself. And thankfully pulled the others towards the exit.

"Don’t you guys look at Y/N-san like that. That’s not how you look at a lady.

Lunch is almost ready… let’s go Luffy.

Let the two of them go. We'll get the food ready."

Nami pulled Usopp towards her by the collar.

„So Usopp... I hope you remember our agreement... right?"

Laughing, the Strawhats left on after the other. Leaving behind two embarrassed pirates.

Franky mumbled something about "now I really have to fix the door"

While Chopper desperately tried to figure out what had just happened.

Robin gave you a wink while walking up the stairs.

Embarrassed, you looked at Law.

He took your hand and kissed it gently. Although it was hard for him, he tried to stand in front of you as confidently as possible.

" umm that was something… you know…

We still have some time before lunch. Would you like to… continue?! … What do you say Y/N-ya?"

You look at your intertwined hands and then back to Laws face. His face blushing, his eyes looking on the ground even though he would much rather look at your beautiful body before him. You stand on your tiptoes to give a quick peck to Law's lips.

"You may be right there is still some time. But I'll only follow you if you promise to use your devil powers this time. I wouldn't survive being caught like that again." Giggling, you put your arms around Law's neck.

"Okay then, let's pick up where we left off."

He gave you a gentle kiss on your forehead before lifting his hand. A smile on his face as he heard your heart beating loudly.

„Room“

[acealistair]

Cosette dynamics with the rest of the BG3 party members, under the cut bc it got long of course heheh

For those that read this I'd also love to hear about other people's Tavs and their dynamics!

Astarion:

FORBIDDEN MAGIC BUDDIES LET'S GO! (they enable each other horribly lol)

But in all seriousness Cosette honestly probably confuses Astarion quite a lot, I imagine he hasn't dealt with her brand of "purity" for a long time.

She keeps accidentally flirting with him, from her perspective in the effort to be kind and friendly towards him, but obviously that's not totally clear to Astarion.

I headcanon that at the party when he's talking about wanting to have "fun" and Cosette straight-up doesn't get it he's hit with a realization akin to "holy shit I can't do this." So nothing romantic is gonna happen between them, unless he makes some move I'm not expecting.

That being said, her kindness, particularly in taking the news he's a vampire spawn in stride (and letting him drink her blood of course), has earned her a soft spot in his heart, as loathe as he would be to admit it.

Cosette thinks Astarion is funny and exciting (in both his personality and circumstances) but also feels bad for him since he's clearly shown he's traumatized by his years as a spawn. However she's also fascinated by the logistics of vampires, of course.

Gale:

Oh you know they're on the exact same wavelength (weavelength?) when it comes to love of magic and knowledge. They hit it off instantly.

I like to think Gale was enamored with Cosette pretty early on, admiring her optimism, kindness, and passion. I imagine he was really surprised to have the first person he met after the nautiloid be just as enthusiastic about magic as he is.

I have a headcanon about him marveling at her when they find the secret lab of the "healer" in the blighted village, like he's never seen a person get so starry-eyed at a dusty, kinda gross basement filled with alchemy implements and he finds it incredibly endearing. I might write about it when I have a better grasp of his personality heheh

For Cosette, she thought of Gale as a friend right away, but her moment of truly falling for him was during the experiencing-the-Weave scene. It was magical in all senses of the word for her and it kinda hit her that "oh, he gets me" which cannot be said for the majority of people.

I do think Gale's currently a little pained with Cosette because he told her his whole story, including sharing his memory of the trauma, and then she turned around and proceeded to open a tome full of forbidden knowledge without care for the consequences oops lol. So I'll at least headcanon that he'll be trying to stop Cosette from falling down that slippery slope in the future.

Karlach:

Karlach's the newest companion for me so I don't know much about her yet (other than I love her) and therefore this'll be shorter, BUT

If it weren't for Gale and Wyll being there I do think a romance could have been possible for her and Cosette, but now not so much unless something surprising happens in-game.

As it stands I'm predicting a more sisterly relationship, with Karlach looking out for Cosette (not that nobody else does but I feel it'll be particularly strong with Karlach).

Cosette is low-key relieved to have someone even close to as cheerful as she is in the party honestly. She's so pleased to be able to have upbeat conversations with Karlach, even if they're not about magic or scholarly topics.

She's fascinated with Karlach's infernal engine though, of course, and is trying to learn all she can about it.

Cosette WILL give Karlach that hug she mentioned wanting if it's the last thing she does ;_;

Lae'zel:*

Really weirdly, Lae'zel likes Cosette quite a bit? Mostly because Cosette is respectful of her culture and allows Lae'zel to speak whenever they interact with other githyanki.

Cosette was a bit scared of Lae'zel at first but tried to keep a positive attitude. She was about to give up on becoming true friends with Lae'zel until she let slip that she's a scholar as much as she is a warrior, and then Cosette got REAL excited because they finally had something to bond over.

Cosette really wants to learn everything she can about githyanki culture so she takes any opportunity to ask Lae'zel about it, which Lae'zel sometimes acts like she thinks is annoying but I think secretly likes it heheh.

Shadowheart:*

I imagine Shadowheart is pretty exasperated with how blatantly naive Cosette tends to be but the fact that she was so chill with her worshipping Shar is incredibly important to her.

I think Shadowheart's kind of in the gang of "I'm gonna roll my eyes at a lot of stuff you do but I will protect you with my fucking life" along with Astarion and Lae'zel lmao

Cosette is taken aback sometimes with how prickly and sassy Shadowheart can get and worries that she doesn't like her much, but then Shadowheart will turn around and say that Cosette is a friend the likes of which she's never had before. So Cosette has come to the conclusion that Shadowheart doesn't mean a lot of the things she says when she's being especially sharp with her words. Bit of a "ur a softie aren't u shadowheart" meme lol

Wyll:

They're both warlocks and both from nobility so there's an inherent connection there.

Since they're both nobles, Cosette desperately wants to see him dance, especially if it's with her!

Wyll was surprised to learn how readily trusting Cosette is with higher magical beings (hags, devils, etc) so I imagine he had to readjust his initial view of her.

He does see that her heart is ultimately in the right place and there's something alluring about her innocence and cheer, but he's worried about her (probably rightly so lol). He's trying his best to steer her in what he believes is the right direction.

On Cosette's part, Wyll kinda embodies a childhood fantasy of a romance with a dashing hero (with a dark side, even!), so she does have a little crush on him.

Gale is currently winning in the romance department for Cosette but there's a little something going on with her and Wyll; we'll see where it goes!

*Extra notes on Lae'zel and Shadowheart:

I think these three make an interesting trio because I get the sense that both Lae'zel and Shadowheart are inexperienced in a lot of areas and are desperately trying to hide it. I know less about Shadowheart's whole backstory and whatnot than Lae'zel's so take it with a grain of salt, but if I'm right Cosette makes a neat foil to both of them bc she too is inexperienced but doesn't try to necessarily hide it. She's not trying to come off as intimidating, unlike the both of them -- Lae'zel with strength and aggression, Shadowheart with wit and disdain.

And then there's Lae'zel and Shadowheart's rivalry with each other, all the while warming up to Cosette, and Cosette being their mediator.

Also something to be said about all three of them being naive in different ways; Lae'zel with her (up until a certain point) unquestioning faith in Vlaakith, I'm guessing something is gonna come to light with Shadowheart and her faith in Shar, and then Cosette is just out here trusting everyone she meets at face value.

[mittensmorgul]

I've been reading seasons 10 and 11 meta and the finale makes less and less sense to me so yea I'm glad Destiel and Saileen are getting married and living life happy. shrug emoji

Anon friendo, congrats on achieving peace!

Seriously, I’ve been telling people I know who haven’t watched the end yet that for happiness, it’s best to watch through near the end of 15.19. Then you can make your own choices about what happens next.

Let them defeat Chuck. Let them have the full win. And then.... know that whatever you most wanted for all of them, for each of their happiness (not just Sam and Dean, but Jack, Eileen, Cas, Charlie, Stevie, Donna, and everyone else snapped away at the end of 15.18), whatever you were hoping for in the ending, that’s exactly what happens!

Congrats! You have won Supernatural!

If your notions are only kinda-sorta vague, and you regret not being able to see it unfold, there’s an ever-growing variety of fanfic endings being posted daily. At least one of them will hopefully give you some happiness and closure.

And if you accidentally saw the final episode and are finding it difficult to unsee, there’s a number of fix its even for that situation! “It was actually a djinn dream” is one I’ve seen used a few times now. And my personal favorite (because I wrote it) is Becky reading Chuck’s draft of the episode they aired, left by him on her computer, unpublished, before he lost his power. So of course none of it could “become real.” She deletes it and then texts Dean to thank them all again. And Dean tells her “Cas says hi.”

(if you want to read that version, i posted it on the ao3 here.  it’s only 200 words. That’s all it took to fix everything for me.)

Either way, you can choose your own ending. You can choose a different ending every day depending on how you’re feeling! And the show has told us this is valid. It’s OUR story now, and they can’t try to tell us how to engage with it anymore.

And in *my* personal version, everyone actually does get to win. Everyone does get a chance to live a life with free will and the family they’ve built around them.

Sam and Eileen get a dog. Dean gets a proper long vacation with Cas to somewhere he can just sit and watch the sunset with his toes in the sand and finally follow his heart. Charlie and Stevie live a long, happy life of hunting dates and cozy breakfasts. Donna, Jody, and the waywards grow their network, and find they’re more about saving people than hunting things now. Claire and Kaia find happiness and balance together. Garth and the garthlets keep on keeping on, because they were already the happiest dang family on the show.

And for anyone who says “well they could have all of that in Heaven! And that’s forever!” Yeah... that’s the point! In Heaven, choices don’t have consequences. You don’t wake up the next day to new things to deal with. The highs and lows of human emotion and life itself are apparently irrelevant there. Not that I *want* any of these characters to experience suffering, but that’s part of life. And once you’re dead... even in a perfect blissful heaven... it’s not the same as being alive. It’s just not the same, and the show has been pointing it out for years. “But heaven is different now!” yeah... in some basic ways, like the walls being gone and being able to make new memories but like... for there to be no possibility of conflict, or of suffering (which... was what Jack was supposed to bring to it), then there has to be some “drugging” effect in this heaven. Something that prevents people from actually fully being real people, because otherwise you can’t have perfect peace and contentment. So no... not interested in Heaven stories. At all. But if that’s your thing (and not an existential horror like it is to me... there wasn’t really much they could’ve actually done to fix the concept of heaven for me...) then by all means enjoy those too!

It’s just... so freeing to accept the end of canon and wander out into the liberated fields of post-canon life in fandom! Like we all were liberated from Chuck’s story the moment his power was zapped, and we are all now in the Impala driving away from that beach to begin living our real lives. So whatever your preferred headcanon, canon itself has said that’s totally valid. 

*something something cry no more*

[shxxtingstarss]

therapy no. 29

today's session was quite good, which is probably the reason why my therapist decided to overdraw the time by almost 15 minutes.

We started the session by talking about my GP, she was supposed to prescribe me my emergency meds (my old antipsychotics in a really low dose so it makes me sleep), which she did, but she had some questions for my therapist about it because she isn't familiar with that medication and the low dose is not very usual. So my therapist has to write a short letter to my GP, explaining why I need that medication and what we're doing in therapy - in that context (thinking out loud about what he should write) I think he tried to praise my efforts in therapy indirectly - he said he'd write down that I cooperate very well and try very hard to have success in therapy, that we're doing depthpsychology oriented psychotherapy, and that I would need the medication for my (nightly) panic attacks, strong overexcitement/overwhelmedness etc. so that I could just go to sleep.

After that was done, we talked about how my week went and that I tried to not be in touch with my emotions at all because when I was, they were usually really overwhelming ...I just realized in this exact moment that this is the reason why my mood-diary-app is almost empty when I look at some days of the past week. lol, could've gotten that one earlier. Anyways, we then got to the topic of F and my problems and discussions and my personal boundaries (and how they're being ignored...again). At the beginning of the session I mentioned how confused I was about the fact that the panic attacks, that wake me up from sleep, came back on tuesday morning, right after the evening when F told me he had decided that he wanted to try to start over with our relationship/partnership and I was genuinely happy and relieved, but a few hours later doubts had filled my head again and I woke up with a really bad feeling in my stomach (+diarrhea from the anxiety), crippling fear, shaky hands, trouble breathing... all the horror coming back (only in a smaller version than a few weeks ago). Well now it all makes sense, because there are a few things that feed those doubts and insecurities...

namely I found three levels of problems, the problematic way of how our conflicts were going on in the last weeks / how we were talking to each other (or..not), the way F doesn't seem to care about my boundaries in situations where it would be quite important to respect them, and a lot of (relationship-) work in general that is ahead of us and will be very hard.

Because I talked about the problematic conflicts/discussions, I finally managed to also talk about the central conflict of the last few weeks: F installing dating apps less then three days after we kinda-broke-up (it took us a week to be sure, but he already installed dating apps in the first days of that week in order to meet guys so he could finally gather experience with guys too) and F meeting people in the last few weeks while we were still figuring things out and how that made me crazy, well not crazy, but it made me feel hurt and worthless at first, later I felt threatened by the thought of him being (romantically) interested in other people while I'm still waiting for him (or at least waiting for him to decide whether or not he wants to try 'us' again) and had panic attack after panic attack when he went out with that guy from another town (he drove there over one hour which made it rly worse for me). I almost didn't want to tell my therapist how that topic made me feel, that I felt worthless and that I actually didn't think it was ok of F to do that while we were still figuring things out (that second thing is something I thought all the time but I didn't say that out loud, my therapist asked me if that was the big thing behind all that and the boundary of me that was crossed at that point), I was so ashamed of my feelings and wasn't even sure if I was allowed to feel that way. During today's session I found out that a lot of my judgement of my feelings and thoughts about this topic might have something to do with how F reacted to them: read more here

So, for example, because he asked me why I couldn't be more "chill" about all that, I wasn't sure anymore if I was allowed to feel the way I felt, and tried to re-evaluate my feelings and thoughts by talking about that topic to other people and see how they would react. But they reacted very individually, some were even more upset than me, others were not very upset at all, but they said they understood why I felt that way. Well, in the end I didn't come to any conclusion because the re-evaluation ended in a 50:50 - kinda way.

We got a bit more into that topic of me thinking about if I'm allowed to feel the way I feel, and that I was scared of being judged for the way I feel about this topic and felt really ashamed of how I feel about it (so ashamed that I first couldn't even tell my therapist how I felt about the situation when he asked me that... I explained why I didn't want to tell him and managed to tell him a few minutes later) which ended in me feeling quite overwhelmed with all the stuff I told him today and all the stuff that was waiting for me outside that safe room I was in.

I felt very deeply understood by my therapist today and very safe with him even though the topic was very complicated and stressful for me. He ended the session with stating that maybe it is good to have a focus on a topic like that, my boundaries, because I am very self-aware/reflecting person, and am thinking a lot about my actions and feelings and thoughts all the time, it can be good to really focus on something this big so we could maybe have a great impact on all the other problematic and difficult topics too.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3