#so like they could tell me a fucking trash raccoon was running the white house and id be like okay idc

[andrewjosephminyard]

rwrb movie’s politics was so off

lmao maybe but do you really think I watched rwrb for political or monarchal accuracy?

im just here for a good time and to watch two idiots fall in love

[fleursdemeduse]

Remembrance AU: Little Brother Knows Everything

I lied. Here's a bonus chapter.

Warnings: Mention of Death ; Unrequited[?] Love ; Mention of bombs ; Jealousy

Words: 3.1k

Tommy may have been an idiot, but he wasn’t stupid. He noticed the little things more often than he didn’t. But there were four things he knew about you better than anyone else.

Tommy knew that you liked tea.

Siblings, and people in general, seem to have this habitual kind of indicator of their mood. Some people bounced their leg when they were nervous, others liked to twiddle their thumbs or pop joints; It’s different for everyone.

But he could always tell how [y/n] felt by the tea they were drinking.

When they were nervous, they made tea brewed from lavender buds collected from a flower field they often visited with Technoblade or Phil. They brought Tommy once. He had run around the whole area with infinite energy before the blond climbed the tree. He had climbed higher and higher until he could feel the warmth of the setting sun shine on his face. The branch broke, but when he plummeted, he wasn’t scared. They were at the bottom, waiting to catch him. They were always waiting to inevitably catch him no matter if it was from his own stupid decisions or from someone else’s. They got nervous a lot, but when he was by their side, he could never be.

When [y/n] was stressed, they made tea out of the peppermint leaves in their garden. The scent filled their house while it brewed and the act of harvesting the herb was “soothing”. Tommy wasn’t sure how weeding was supposed to be relaxing, but he happily did it when their newest sibling figure asked him to. He remembered pulling out a whole mint plant the first time he had worked beside them, unknowing that that was the plant he was supposed to be protecting. They had laughed, gently scolding him, before setting it aside. Even if they were stressed out, they never took it out on him.

When he was sad or upset, they made chamomile tea with honey. Chamomile is a calming flower, he remembered them saying once. And the honey helped you remember that golden days were ahead. They made it for him every morning after he would wake up in the bed he seemed to sleep in more than his own. Sometimes the honey came from Technoblade, sometimes they had retrieved it themselves from wild hives, but they always seemed to get the best stuff. Even when he cried or started to -what was the word they had used? Disassociate? That sounded correct-, he could expect the mug to be pushed into his hands, a sugary but not cloying aroma wafting off it. He always felt much better when he left. He could never remember seeing them drink the tea, despite having such an abundance of it. Did they even get sad? He had never witnessed it.

When they were happy, they made black tea of various kinds and drank sweet iced tea that reminded him of what diabetes would taste like if it were liquid. They drank this with him almost daily. It was always a new blend they wanted to try and perfect or one they wanted him to taste. He loved smelling this tea the most. When its fragrance filled the air, somehow, everything felt right in the world. He couldn’t recall a single time when he didn’t see them on the porch, drinking the amber liquid out of a glass when they knew he’d be coming over for dinner.

It was the days when you didn’t drink tea at all, he was afraid.

Tommy knew that no matter what someone did to them, [y/n] wasn’t afraid to make enemies or insert themselves between their friends and any sort of danger to protect them.

Dream was surprised to see [y/n] at the meeting between the Greater Dream SMP and L’Manburg. It was only supposed to be him and George convening with Tubbo and Tommy. They held no real power in the country. They didn’t belong in this meeting, just like they didn’t belong in this timeline.

He watched the way they, during George and Tubbo’s discussion, rested a hand on Tommy’s arm when his hands clenched hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He saw how they would murmur quietly to him and the child would relax ever so slightly. He noticed the nods they gave the blond when he looked to the adult for confirmation after he made a questionable statement. He observed your true role here.

“Nice to see you replace Wilbur so quickly, Tommy. That’s good. He was a horrible role model for you.” His lips curled behind his mask at the shocked expression on everyone else’s face aside from the vice president before him. His eyes were sharp, angry. “Maybe without his influence, you’ll actually be a competent leader for something.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Considering L’Manburg was supposed to be totally destroyed and returned back to the Greater Dream SMP, I’m glad you found someone a bit less self-destructive to help keep you under control. We all know Wilbur did a horrible job at it.” Watching the child soldier stand quickly gave him a certain satisfaction.

“Fuck you, bitch! I don’t need to be told what to do.” Dream watched [y/n] give Tommy a warning look and the way he ignored it.

“And yet you followed someone who lost his own presidential race and blew up his own country before seeking out validation from someone else.”

“I don’t-”

“Tommy.” He watched the blond flinch at the edge to your voice and look down at you.

“He’s saying I-”

“I’m aware. He’s just trying to rile you up. It’s what he does. Ignore him.” The glare they sent him made a sharp jolt go down his spine, but he couldn’t help the chuckle that spilled from his covered mouth.

“Listen to your sibling, Tomathy. At least this one is sane. And if they kill themself, they’ll come back.” Tommy opened his mouth once more to say something before it snapped closed and he released a breath through his nose.

“I don’t need this.” The slam of the door echoed through the now quiet room.

Dream’s attention was immediately back on [y/n]. He watched them square their shoulders and lower their head to look him dead-on. Their glare met him with a hidden fury threatening to break forth and raise the hell that seemed to be just as deeply rooted in them as it was the company they kept. Their lips were pursed in a way that made his own grin grow larger. "Wilbur may not have been the best man. He may have hurt me and put the rest of L’Manburg in this situation. But that is our business alone, and you have no right to say anything bad about him or about Tommy, for that matter."

There was a pregnant pause and he heard George start laughing awkwardly to dispel the tension before being hushed hurriedly by Tubbo.

“And what is it you’ll do to me if I do?” Dream kept his voice level.

“You know why I’m here and who’s behind me. You can use your imagination..” They stood, chair scraping against the floor loudly. “I’m going to check on Tommy.” “But we’re not done!” They stopped at the door, hand resting on the handle.

“I’m sure you can handle the rest by yourself, Tubbo. You know what to do.” They looked at him over their shoulder, before glancing over George and then settling on the man in green. “Don’t you ever speak his name ever again. Or we just might have to build that prison you mentioned. Am I understood?” Sullen nods came from the monarch and the president as they stormed out.

“Well, that was something.”

Tommy had been sitting in the hallway, curled in on himself the same way he had been after the Pit incident.

“Toms?”

“Why is he even here?”

You sat next to him, back resting against the wall.

“Because he cares about George. Kinda like why I was in there for you.” You felt the taller lean against you and relax when you wrapped your arm around him. “I’ll always be here for you, Kiddo.”

You felt him nod and you pressed a kiss to his hair.

“You know I’m not trying to replace Wilbur, right?”

“Of course not. We were like brothers.” His lips quirked a little when he heard your laugh.

“If he were here, I’m sure he’d tell you not to say that or he’d cry.”

“Good. Fucking bitch.”

He didn’t know what he’d do if you never came back.

Tommy knew that the only other person who loved you as much as he did was Technoblade.

Techno had never felt jealous of Tommy before. Or really anyone. He was pretty secure in his position as your best friend, and the vast amounts of platonic affection you showered him with kept him content. Even during the Pogtopia rebellion, watching the looks and touches Wilbur gave you or seeing the child sneak into your bed for another night in a row didn’t make him jealous. So why did he suddenly have the very real impulse to shove the blond off the side off a cliff just to retake some of your attention?

The hybrid watched you talk with your hands as you recounted the night before and your surprise at finding Tommy already there when you came home from Phil’s. He was happy he had been right. You and Philza were similar in many ways and got along well. You would constantly joke with Techno that you were trying to get yourself adopted by the older blond and he would just respond with an amused “don’t tempt him, he might.”. You would always laugh in response.

That was always the best sound.

He listened to your words as he topped off the teacup in front of you with more of the red-tinted liquid. The warm scent of earl grey and roses wafted off of the cup tinged with the subtle tang of the orange peel he had added on a whim. You were right in your suggestion. Citrus always makes deeper teas better.

“If it’s really that bad, the offer to move in still stands. I have more than enough room and you can escape that raccoon.” He snickered at the pout that rested on your lips.

“I never said that I didn’t like it! And don’t call Tommy a raccoon.” He sipped his own tea.

“It’s true. Gets into trash, beady little eyes, a nuisance. He even breaks into your house.”

“He has a key, Tech. It’s different.” You had rolled your eyes at him, but the smile on your face spoke of your fondness for them both. He felt the small well of jealousy in his chest flare. Did Tommy know how privileged he was? He hoped the child knew.

“I’m just sayin’. Whenever you want to leave that place, my door will always be open for you.” He watched your smile soften and the firm squeeze when you reached across the table for his forearm.

“I appreciate it, but Tommy needs me still. Maybe one day, okay?” He grunted at you and you giggled. “Who knows, maybe Phil will come with! He could build his own little cabin and everything.”

“I’ve already extended the offer to him as well. He said he’ll think about it.” You shook your head.

“He’s probably trying to figure out how close to the meadow he’d be in comparison.”

“Man loves the flowers, what can he say?”

“Sure, it’s definitely the flowers.” You sipped your tea with a knowing grin.

“What else would it be?” He watched the glint in your eyes, seeing exactly what Tommy had always said about you. They had seemed a lot deeper lately, more knowledgeable. The child had always claimed that you spoke like you knew more than you let on and he saw it in your smile sometimes, but the look you were giving him right at that moment confirmed it.

“Maybe it’s all the memories.”

He couldn't imagine you not returning the feelings they both held for you, despite the vast difference.

Tommy knew that you wouldn’t hide anything from him unless it was absolutely imperative.

He found you sitting in the living room, curled into an old recliner that you would never tell him where it came from. You felt Tommy haphazardly throw his arms around your shoulders from behind, releasing a small sigh of contentment as he pressed his face further into your neck.

"Hey, Kiddo, what’re you up to?" His grip on you slackened, and you could almost feel his face draw up to a small pout. He absolutely hated that nickname but couldn’t deny the small warmth that flared in his stomach whenever you called him it.

"[Y/n], how many times have I asked you to stop calling me that?" He removed himself from you when you shrugged your shoulders.

"Sorry, Toms, the nickname stays. You're too much of a brat for it to leave." He groaned, eyebrows drawing together. You knew he wasn’t entirely mad at the name. He wouldn’t have whined the way he did if he truly wanted you to stop. You and Tommy seemed to share a wavelength. It wasn’t the same one you shared with Techno, but it was just as perfect. You wished you could tell him why it was.

The realization set a rock that started in your throat and slowly started to sink to your stomach. It spread through you, causing a wet hot sensation to form behind your eyes. You’d never be able to tell your little brother your deepest secret. What if he hated you? What if he told everyone else and they cast you out? What if he felt he couldn’t trust you anymore?

Carefully pulling yourself out of your own thoughts, you looked up at the child. “I’m sorry, what was it you wanted?”

"Can I talk to you?" Your eyes flicked to the book you were reading before back to him. You knew what he wanted. A bookmark was wedged between pages and the room was silent before you stood. "Sure, kiddo. Is it going to be a long chat?" You set off to the kitchen, soon pouring some water into an old kettle that Phil had given you the day that you had awoken. You had been “gone” for over a full day. Aside from Phil, no one else knew what had happened and where you went.

An opaque jar was pulled from the cupboard, carefully opened, and he watched as purple buds, green leaves, and yellow-white flowers were deposited gently onto the mesh cloth that you would tie into a sachet. He had never seen them combine those teas. He didn’t even realize you had such a large jar of it stored.

“What happened at Phil’s?” You hesitated before steadying your hand and pouring the steaming water into a teapot before setting the sachet in. It floated for a moment before you used the string to dunk the bag a few times to soak it before it sank midway.

You only pulled one mug down.

You gestured for him to sit at the table and he took it. You could see the way his anxiety rose even higher when you didn’t sit across from him.

“What day? I’ve been at Phil’s a lot lately.”

“Oh fuck off. You know what day I’m talking about.” You shrugged, trying to keep your expression even.

“I really don’t, Tommy. You’re going to have to narrow it down for me.” Your fight or flight instincts were dialed to high when he gave you a knowing look.

“You don’t have to lie to me, [y/n]. I’m not a child.”

“Yes, you are, and I’m not lying.” You flinched when he slammed his hands on the table, chair screeching as it was slid back with too much force before it fell backwards.

“Then why have you changed?” You froze. “You used to love spending time with me before-”

You wanted to reach out, to comfort him, when you saw his lips quiver, but he turned his head away from you. He couldn’t look you in the eye.

“Before you were gone for almost two days and came back wrong. You don’t talk like how you used to either. It’s like you know things, but like, more than you used to. And come to find out from Ranboob, you had gone to Philza’s house. What did he tell you?”

You just shook your head, wanting to tell him you remembered him. You remembered every timeline he was in. Every moment he had fought for what he believed in and won. Every time he had died. Every timeline he could have died.

“Did I do something? Is it because of Ghostbur? Do you-” He looked back up at you, looking exactly like the sixteen year old he was supposed to be. “Do you hate me?”

“Of course not, Tommy. Why in the world would you ever think that?”

“Then why won’t you tell me what’s going on? Siblings don’t keep secrets.”

“They do when they’re trying to protect the ones they love, Tommy.” You watched his face grow red in frustration.

“You’re not always gonna be there for me, [y/n]!”

“You don’t know that.”

“Why won’t you just tell me?” His voice broke, and so did your heart.

“Because you’re still just a kid, Tommy. And I think sometimes you forget that. And everyone else too. And I can’t tell anyone what happened.”

“But why? I stopped being a child when we won our first war. I should be able to hear about this!”

“Because the things I saw, the things I heard, no one else should have to bear this weight.” You swallowed back your tears. This was no time to cry. “You can be mad at me all you want, Tommy. But I’m still the same [y/n] who tucks you into bed and links pinkies with you on the Prime Path and who will always be there for you.”

The hurt look he gave you would haunt you for the rest of your lifetimes.

“Then why won’t you let me be there for you?” You could only shake your head.

“Because that’s not how it works, Kiddo.” Tommy’s eyes hardened and he sucked in a quivering breath.

“Fine.” He started walking back towards the door.

“Toms, where are you going?” He didn’t answer you.

His tea was bitter and cold by now, and for a moment, he couldn’t help but feel the same.

Tommy knew all those things about you. So why did it feel like maybe he didn’t know you at all?

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Imagines with Taromaru (BNHA X Reader)

I couldn’t resist! This doesn’t even make sense I just had to write something with Taromaru! >.< 

Taromaru’s the cutest anime dog I’ve ever seen! So think of it as a bit of a cross-over? Sorta... anyhoo... I couldn’t resist lol this is also inspired by that Teen Titans episode “Can I Keep Him?” and also just think of if it as like 1-A having a tiny puppy instead of a wolf-dog and these are all headcanons with you, the reader, having the sweet little puppy as a pet and 1-A getting to share the experience whenever you bring him over!! 

And partially based off of my own puppy who has a bad habit of stealing... certain articles of clothing...

With this one! I will also make separate works with Taromaru as your pet~! 

Living in the dorms meant a few things, and one of those was ‘No pets’, obviously.

Except you weren’t always one to pay attention to the rules, but especially not when you found this little puppy just wandering about all by himself, looking so cute and happily barking at you. He was the cutest little Shiba Inu puppy that you had ever seen in your life. And he let you pet him as he gave a happy whine when you gave him little head scratches.

You didn’t see a collar on him or anything, so you decided to give him a name. Taromaru sounded like a good name.

How could you not take this precious little baby with you home? You couldn’t resist as you brought him to your house with you and he quickly became your new pet. Taromaru was so cute though that there were times where you just couldn’t resist and sometimes took him to the dorms, by sneaking him in of course whenever it was lunch and dinner time and took him out whenever he wanted to go outside. You quickly learned that Taromaru was a very smart little puppy as he seemed to quickly adapt to the surroundings of UA and understood that this is where you lived.

You were a lot more cheerful because of this sweet little guy, and your classmates all noticed the change in your demeanor, especially your closest friends Izuku, Shinsou, Uraraka, Todoroki and hell even Bakugo noticed how annoyingly happy you had been lately.

“Hee-hee I just got a really good feeling lately… it’s a new year, and sure some shit’s happened and it’s only the beginning of the new year but still! I have a good feel about it now!” You brushed it off to Izuku, Shinsou, Uraraka and Todoroki, and they didn’t entirely buy it but gave you the benefit of the doubt.

“Mm-hmm.” Shinsou clearly didn’t believe you, but for some reason didn’t wanna press on it.

“Okay, I suppose you have a point.” Izuku believed you a little bit more though as he gave you a smile and as you smiled back at him nervously, thinking that you had successfully lied about Taromaru. Why were you lying about him? Well it was more because of the fact that he at times was IN the dorms and now some of your friends were wondering why their shoes were found outside and then there was last week’s incident with the trash bag suddenly being found spilt in the kitchen.

Iida was furious and there was no way you could come clean about that, but you were acting weird lately and it didn’t go unnoticed by your friends even though you were trying so hard to keep this a secret.

He was your secret pet. Was it against the rules to bring an animal into the dorms? Absolutely. Iida was going to kill you with lectures if he ever found an animal in the dorms, but you couldn’t resist. And it was only sometimes, not all the time! Just on the days where he was being too cute for you to resist and on the days where he actually followed you to school…

One day was one of those days and you realized that he was barking at you as you entered your dorm-room. “Taromaru?! Shhh…! You were supposed to stay home boy… oh… they’re still suspicious about the last time you were here…” You quietly scolded the happy puppy, who was just loving the way you were petting him on the head.

“I can’t just leave you in my room… but I can’t let you run around either…” You whined a little bit as you thought outloud on what you could do for the puppy, and the only option you could do that would be the best possible thing since you knew the puppy would make some kind of mess if he was left inside a building all by himself. “If I let you run around outside… you’d come back right?”

Of course, you could trust the pup to actually listen because he did know to stay within the school grounds, but you weren’t sure just how MUCH you could trust him.

On top of that…

The second you and everyone arrived back to the dorms they were met with a HUGE mess… there was food all over the floor, spilled milk and orange juice, the trash can tipped over and the pillows from the couch were chewed up…

You turned white as all of your classmates took this horror in, “W-What in the world has happened to our dorms?!” Iida was the most horrified as several others also chimed in to express their shock and confusion.

“This looks like the aftermath of a bad party…”

“Looks more like a miniature tornado hit…”

“This tornado has teeth apparently.”

But then the wiser Jirou pointed that out as she picked up a pillow that had been chewed up with the felt and plush exposed and spilling out of the open seams that had been torn open with a sharp pair of jaws.

That made you increasingly nervous as you broke out into a sweat and tried to not say anything, “I-Is it a rat?!”

“Or a raccoon maybe?”

Others started to speculate that some kind of creature was probably lurking about though since some of the food was eaten.

“That’s likely. Given that this has happened before, so classmates please be on the lookout! We’ll have to seriously sanitize this entire building if that’s the case… ” Iida shuddered in disgust at the thought, but he started to think that there must have been some kind of creature, probably a raccoon, in their dorms and they would have to clean the place after they find it. And he put Kouda in charge since he could probably call the creature and urge it to leave so that way they wouldn’t have to savagely kill an animal.

This completely unnerved you though because you had a feeling that Taromaru was still in the building, and now everyone knew that SOMETHING was in here, and it was one thing when only one student was aware of having a small animal in the building with no one else knowing. But now the other twenty-one students knew there was probably a small animal in the building and now the chances of finding him were bigger.

“What’s up with you (Y/N)?”

While you were sweating bullets Shinsou seemed to catch onto how nervous you were, as if you knew something that the others didn’t, “W-What?! What are you talking about?!” You shouted, and suddenly felt more than one pair of eyes on you. Bakugo, Izuku, Uraraka and Todoroki all to be precise as they looked at you for an answer.

“You seem anxious…”

“Is everything okay?”

“You’re acting strangely lately.”

“So spill it already, stop fucking hiding.”

Izuku, Uraraka, Todoroki and Bakugo each asked you respectively, but you couldn’t just tell them straight-up because you knew one of them might tattle. Maybe not Uraraka though, her you could trust. Maybe even Todoroki too since he wasn’t one to follow ALL the rules, although considering his last interaction with a ‘mutt’ you weren’t certain how he’d react to a little puppy.

“Me?!” You pointed at yourself with a nervous grin, “Yeah! Everything’s fine! Why wouldn’t it be?!” Lying was something you weren’t as good at as you thought, now Shinsou and Bakugo were just leering at you for answers… until you screamed so suddenly to try and distract them.

“AHHHHHHH! I SAW A TAIL!! A TAIL!!” You quickly pointed forward so that way they could hopefully believe you as the five of them immediately whipped their heads around to see if there was something there. And with your telekinesis quirk you lifted yourself away from them fast to run around the corner.

“HEY! Where are you going?!”

You could hear Bakugo calling out for you the second you disappeared, he knew it! He knew you were hiding something! But you were going to deny, deny, deny, even if you got caught. Except you weren’t going to get caught, you weren’t!

“Does this belong to you (L/N)?”

You jumped, screamed and flinched when you heard a very calm voice, and saw that it was no one other than Shouji, carrying the tiny little puppy in a pair of his arms. Taromaru looked very comfortable and happy, like he trusted the large boy as he barked happily at you.

“Taromaru!” You didn’t mean to excitedly exclaim his name, because now that more or less was a way of saying ‘yes’, he belonged to you.

“I’m not sure if Iida’s going to like this.” Shouji was concerned and while he certainly liked seeing such a cute little dog he knew that the uptight class rep was NOT going to like this very much. “Okay, okay I know, I know you’re right… Taromaru trashed the place… he didn’t mean to, and I swear I didn’t take him with me! Today… he just… followed…” You nervously giggled as Taromaru jumped out of Shoji’s arms to make his way into yours, panting happily as you pet him.

“Guess he didn’t want to leave you.” He was oddly understanding, and it was clear he was going to keep your secret, for as long as you wanted to keep it that is. “Shouji you’re a life-saver, thanks for finding him, I honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to find him later on once I found out he followed me and-“

“(Y/N)! Where the hell are you?!”

Bakugo’s voice made you freeze and stop mid-way into your sentence as Taromaru whined upon hearing such loud volume, and quickly he jumped out of your arms to run off, “Taromaru don’t-!” You called out for the dog but he took off running fast. Man that little guy was fast…

Shouji wasn’t sure what to say once Bakugo showed up, so he had no choice but to hold his tongue as you tried to look innocent and crossed your arms, “What the hell was that?! Just running off on me like that!”

It wasn’t just him, Todoroki, Izuku, Uraraka and Shinsou had followed because they were concerned for you. And didn’t find that thing with that tail that you claimed to see, but were certain that you had to have seen it.

“We’ll need your help finding that thing you saw.” Todoroki wanted to be polite to you though since Bakugo was just screaming at you.

“And who the hell is Taromaru?!”

Oh fuck, Bakugo heard you say his name?

“Taromaru? What a cute name!” Uraraka couldn’t help but chirp though, even though she was wondering who that was, as was Izuku and Shinsou. They didn’t know anyone named ‘Taromaru’.

“Who’s Taromaru?” You kept your arms crossed and looked away and feigned innocence but all it did was piss Bakugo off. “I heard you! You said it!” He pointed at you angrily, but you kept denying it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You uttered as Bakugo practically screamed in annoyance, “DAMMIT (Y/N) STOP LYING TO ME!”

“AHHHHHH!” 

Another scream suddenly and thankfully interrupted as it urged you and your friends to rush forth to find a very scared Aoyama having jumped into a startled and struggling Mina’s arms. “I felt something brush up against my leg!” He practically cried as Mina grunted from how heavy he felt in her arms, “I couldn’t see it… he just suddenly jumped in my arms…!!” She exclaimed, being brought down to her knees because Aoyama was a bit too heavy for her…

“Dammit Aoyama…” She whined as they hit the ground and you tried not to snicker, “So it is a creature.” Todoroki believed you now when you said you saw something, but he, like everyone else, assumed it was a raccoon or even a rat. And Uraraka was starting to believe you too, but Bakugo, Shinsou and Izuku knew better than that.

“That’s right! I thought it was! I know what I saw!” You claimed, ignoring the small sigh coming from Shouji. He didn’t recommend deception but knew you didn’t want to give up your puppy so he didn’t say anything.

“Who’s Taromaru?” Bakugo asked you again, he wasn’t going to let you not answer his question as you swallowed, “A new friend…” So you answered him, and it wasn’t a complete lie so that came off a little bit easier but Bakugo was still skeptical.

“Oh yeah?” He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at you while Shinsou was also giving you a look while Izuku just looked worried for you.

“Hey! Look a puppy!” Kirishima suddenly exclaimed, and rather happily when he actually saw Taromaru come his way, especially when the little pup stopped to happily pant up at him. “Oh God! There’s a dog… it’s a dog, hey it’s a dog!” “Awww… look how little he is!” And Kaminari and Sero quickly noticed once they heard Kirishima say that there was a puppy here.

“Arf arf! Arf! Arf!”

“Awww he’s so cute!” Kirishima couldn’t help but fawn over how cute the tiny dog was, kneeling down to pet and scratch the little doggy’s ears as Taromaru happily whined and let himself be pet and scratched. “Aww… he is…” Sero and Kaminari couldn’t resist him either, Taromaru was being so cute that they had to pet him.

Oh no, you thought, hoping that your loud classmate didn’t catch Iida’s attention, although you were glad that at least it was Kirishima that Taromaru ran into. “Puppy…?” Izuku wasn’t sure he heard right, and hoping he didn’t. “Puppy?! Where?!” But Uraraka hoped so, and she quickly ran to where Kirishima was, with you following quick and an irritated Bakugo in tow while confused Shinsou, Izuku and Todoroki followed, as did an exasperated Shouji.

“Oh my goodness! It is a puppy!” And Uraraka promptly beamed when she saw the doggy being pet by Kirishima, “He’s adorable!” Yet the redhead and his friends didn’t seem to stop to think and wonder why was a dog in here and HOW did he get in here?

“HI!” Uraraka just cared about saying hi to the cute little thing as she gave him a sweet little pat on his head as he barked happily, earning a huge ‘AWWWWW!’ from her, Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero.

“What’s a dog doing here?” Finally, the sensible Todoroki pondered outloud when they saw the dog and that’s when he, Izuku, Shinsou and Bakugo began to think that THIS was the reason the dorms got trashed. However, then those four immediately turned to look at you and made you flinch and freeze in fear.

“W-Why are you guys looking at me like that…?” You asked them very nervously even though you crossed your arms to try and look innocent.

“Oh look! His collar says his name’s ‘Taromaru’!” You shut your eyes in frustration when Kirishima read the collar and gave away the puppy’s name which made Bakugo growl and glare at you. You lied… he knew you did but still!

“It’s nice to meet you Taromaru!” Uraraka happily greeted the excitable puppy who was loving all the attention he was getting from everyone, “A new friend huh?” Bakugo asked you in a very irritated tone as you sighed, “I was technically telling the truth… he IS a new friend… that came with me without any permission, I need to take him back home now-.” Rather than explaining yourself, you had to make your way over to get your little puppy before he runs off again…

“You’re not off the hook!” But Bakugo made sure to let you know because he was still pissed at you for lying to him. How could you not tell him you got a dog?! And on top of that you got a dog! A dog!

“Okay, okay! Just let me take care of it!” You exclaimed in mild annoyance, going over to Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari and Uraraka to retrieve the little dog. “So he’s yours (L/N)? He’s so cute…” Kirishima asked you, almost unable to really stop paying his attention on the happy puppy. “Hee-hee, yes he is… I just got him… he kinda stowed away though so… that’s why the place is a mess…”

“Ohhh little naughty guy… wait a minute, so YOU chewed up my shoes?! Aww man…” Kaminari thought it was cute until he realized that Taromaru had to have been the one who chewed up his shoes. “Hehe yeah and Iida’s, and Ojiro’s, and Bakugo’s, and Aoyama’s…” Sero then listed off several ruined shoes that apparently Taromaru had to have chewed up and ruined over the past week.

“HEY! You mean that little shit’s the reason why my favorite shoes are completely fucked?!” But Bakugo was furious when he found out that apparently Taromaru demolished his favorite shoes. “B-Be nice now Katsuki he didn’t mean it… he’s just being a puppy…” You had to defend your pup though especially when Taromaru started whining.

“Aww… well we have to make sure he leaves here without Iida seeing him, he’s going to lose if if-“ Uraraka wanted to help you get Taromaru out of here, but right at that moment is when Iida arrived to see all of his classmates huddled up for some reason.

“What’s going on here?!” He asked somewhat sternly, since they were supposed to be finding the intruder that trashed the dorms, but then he saw said intruder. “Ah! I-Is that a dog?!” Iida didn’t mean to freak out, but animals weren’t exactly his forte since for some reason they didn’t like him…?

“Woof! Woof! Woof!”

“I-Iida! Y-Yes he’s… please don’t be upset, h-he didn’t mean to-.” Izuku knew how much you loved Taromaru, he could see that you really adored the puppy and didn’t want you or him to get in trouble so he defended you and him. “Who does he belong to?” Iida kept his voice level even though frankly, he was furious.

You sighed heavily and raised your hand, “Before you get mad… I just wanted to say that I didn’t bring him here on purpose… today…” You mumbled that last part quietly, “You let him in here on purpose before?!” But based on what you were implying, Iida came to the conclusion that apparently you let him in here OTHER times deliberately, which explained some of the messes and trash littered all over the floor from last week…

So you had no choice but to explain that you didn’t MEAN to let him make a mess, and that it just happened because you let him wander about the school grounds, but that he somehow got in the dorms because Taromaru was VERY smart.

However, naturally you had to endure a lecture from both Iida AND Aizawa and now you had suspension along with a full day of cleaning the entire building top to bottom to make up for Taromaru’s damage. On the bright side, at least you had miraculously gotten permission from Aizawa to bring Taromaru over under the promise that you keep him under wraps and don’t let him make anymore mess. You were more than happy to take up that promise as Taromaru basically became the ‘mascot’ of 1-A.

Taromaru was a sweet dog, and he had a LOT of new love for his new friends, but especially if it was you, and Midoriya, Uraraka, Kirishima and Kouda. 

“A-Ah…! Taromaru! Don’t lick me!” He tended to lick Midoriya’s face in the morning to wake him up, even though the wet tongue felt kind of strange. Still Midoriya always smiled at him and pet him, because he took a fast liking to the puppy. He was sweet and cute, and Taromaru kind of reminded him of you because you always made him happy too...

“I can see why (Y/N) took you in…” Giggling a little bit, he found the puppy adorable and was honestly happy to have him as their class’s mascot.

Although he was a little bit difficult for some, particularly Todoroki who was hopelessly awkward with most people, and that included animals. Such a tiny little thing, Todoroki would sometimes just stare at the dog curiously, wondering and almost envying what an easy life he had. Didn’t have to worry about having a quirk, didn’t have to please anyone, all he had to do was sleep and eat, and get pet…

Then when the dog barked at him happily he wasn’t sure what to make of that, “Do you want something?” Like the dog was going to answer him, it was a dog. Yet Taromaru still barked at him, tail wagging as he ran a circle around the bewildered dual-haired boy.

“He wants you to pet him…” You chuckled in amusement at poor Todoroki’s cluelessness. The poor thing’s probably never had a pet though, so of course he didn’t know how to react or respond to a tiny animal. “I see…” Todoroki’s never had the chance to be around many animals, that was true, and obvious.

“Arf! Arf!”

So it felt kind of strange to kneel down for the first time, but you helped him by telling him to offer his hand out for the puppy to sniff. Taromaru sniffed the hand and happily started to lick at it vigorously, an action that made Todoroki visibly cringe as he instinctively retracted it as you snickered and laughed.

“Hey! He licked you! That means he likes you!” You chirped rather happily, which didn’t ease Todoroki’s confusion but when he saw that happy, dopey look on Taromaru, he felt strange. In a good way that It was his right hand that he used, but still. If that little puppy actually liked him enough to give him a lick, then that meant he had to have been good right?

And then the puppy jumped and even put his paws on his legs, which made him flinch a bit, but he still smiled at him, and decided that maybe this puppy wasn’t so bad.

He wasn’t the only one who thought so, almost the entire class quickly took a liking to Taromaru, and Taromaru liked them too. Kouda loved to play with him and talk to him, which made it easy to give him commands, and Satou and Shouji also really enjoyed the dog because Taromaru was very friendly to them both. Something that surprised Shouji because most animals found him too scary-looking, but not Taromaru. So it was nice to have a little puppy rest in his lap and wag his tail at him happily.

And the girls ADORED him and thought he was the cutest little thing ever, along with Kouda’s bunny of course. Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Mina and Hagakure especially cooed over how sweet and cute little Taromaru was and always pet him whenever he was in the room.

“Arrroooo~!”

“He is just too cute (Y/N)! I love him!” Uraraka had the little puppy in her lap as he leaned up to lick her face, “Ah no!” She playfully squealed as Mina had to lean in to pet him, “He’s too cute! I’m so glad Mr. Aizawa let you let him have him on some days!”

“I know! I just adore him that I can’t help myself… thank goodness for that…” You smiled as it was Yaoyorozu’s turn to pet and love Taromaru. “Oh Shiba Inu are so cute, you’re so cute~.” She was babytalking him, and Taromaru instantly took a liking to her as he nuzzled into her, climbing up her chest so he could lick at her face. “Oh my!” And she giggled happily as Jirou, Tsuyu and the other girls found it absolutely endearing.

“Adorable…”

“Tell me about it…”

Tsuyu and Jirou both smiled as Uraraka, Hagakure and Mina all exclaimed “AWWWWWW!!” at Taromaru’s cuteness, but the guys…

“That dog is so lucky and he doesn’t even know it!! How can that be fair?! Why is he the one getting so close to the girls?! Just because he’s a small animal?! I wanna be the one tasting Yaoyorozu’s face and in her lap!” Mineta vented to Kaminari and Sero with tears in his eyes and a clenched fist, wishing it was HIM in Momo’s lap and licking her face with his hands on her chest while also being loved by the other girls… that should be him! Not some dog!

“Cuz he’s actually cute AND sweet you little creep…” Sero was a nice guy, but didn’t really put up with Mineta being disgusting like this. “Yeah but… I AM a little jealous of that pup…” Kaminari didn’t approve of Mineta being extra gross, but he WAS kind of jealous at how a small dog got so much attention from the girls.

That being said, not ALL the guys were crazy about Taromaru. Especially not Mineta, Bakugo or Iida. “Taromaru! Sit down and no licking!” He often scolded him at dinnertime whenever the dog crawled under the table and licked at everyone’s feet as Ojiro, Midoriya, Hagakure, Kirishima and Sero had jumped due to the dog licking at their legs. 

Taromaru always came out whining whenever he was scolding. Iida didn’t necessarily dislike the dog, but he didn’t have the best luck with animals and was a little uncomfortable around them. Taromaru was especially willful as he didn’t really obey him unless you were there. “No likcing Taromaru.” You had to make him stop as Iida slumped in slight defeat.

“I’m not sure having a hyperactive puppy in the dorms is a good idea (L/N)…” Iida had to vent his slight frustrations to you while you were holding Taromaru in your lap after dinner. You stuck your tongue at him while your puppy happily whined and wagged his tail.

You understood where Iida was coming from though, “He’s a bit of a troublemaker I know but don’t worry Iida, I got this… besides… he brings a little excitement don’t you think? Look at him.” You held up your puppy and waved his little paw at your class rep.

Iida HAD to admit, the puppy WAS quite endearing, but he just wished he was a little more of an obedient dog. “Will you be a good boy and start listening more Taromaru?” He leaned in to ask the puppy, and Taromaru barked happily in reply and then gave him an affectionate lick across the nose…

“GAHH!! Dog germs!!”

Ever the germaphobe Iida ran off in horror to find the nearest bathroom as a means to wash his face and get the ‘germs’ off of him as you laughed your ass off and held your confused puppy. “Hee-hee good boy Taromaru!” You had to praise him for that. As much as you adored Iida, seeing him get so flustered and rattled up especially over something like germs.

“Of all the animals it had to be a dog…?” Shinsou knew you were hiding something, but why did it have to be a dog? Now Shinsou didn’t really have anything against dogs, he was just more of a cat person. “I couldn’t resist his face when I saw it! I mean look at him!” You beamed as you showed him Taromaru in your lap as he seemed REALLY comfortable before perking up to look at Shinsou.

“ARF!” He happily barked at the brainwasher, who just gave him a look in return, because Taromaru WAS really cute, but Shinsou was a devoted cat person, and would never admit it because he thought cats were cuter, “Your puppy dog eyes won’t work on me...” Shinsou spoke to the dog as if he was going to get a response, and to his shock, Taromaru jumped out of your lap so he could lick at a disgusted Shinsou’s face.

“Gah! He’s got… dog breath…!” He exclaimed as you burst into laughter at his expense. Shinsou did pick him up so you could have him back, and also wash his face because man that dog did NOT have pleasant breath… and now THAT was the class’s mascot?

Yes. Yes he was.

Taromaru was actually really good for the class, because petting him actually eased the classes’ stress at times, and somehow the dog knew how to be comforting to someone who was having a bad day. And having a little puppy to pet and play with made the students of 1-A feel better and a little happier, especially if it was Kirishima, Uraraka and Kouda, three of the most prominent dog-lovers in the class, aside from you of course.

“Who’s a good boy? You are! That’s right!” Next to you, Kirishima seemed the most attached to Taromaru because he was so cute and so sweet he adored the pup. “Yes he is~!” You sang-songed and baby-talked which infuriated the HELL out of Bakugo.

Unlike the rest of his classmates, he didn’t take to the puppy nearly as fast. In fact, he didn’t seem to like Taromaru much at all. But the puppy returned the feelings because Bakugo yelled at him and now he growled at him and avoided him at every turn.

“What are you looking at mutt?” He would ask the puppy, who angrily barked and then growled at him, which actually provoked Bakugo to growl back at him, until Taromaru barked again and ran off. “Oh sure run away!” He didn’t care if the dog liked him though, not really. It was just annoying that everyone in this damn place, especially you, loved him so much.

Even when he was being a little shit and causing trouble for everyone still, as he was constantly playing about with everyone. And still had an issue with taking shoes… Again. “Uwah! Non! Non! Taromaru!” Aoyama had nothing against the puppy though, but he really didn’t want to have to get another pair of shoes again…

“Ah! Taromaru! No!” Ojiro actually loved the dog, but Taromaru had a fixation with his tail and always caused him pain whenever he felt those little teeth dig into it…

“I’m gonna get you!” Dark Shadow actually really liked the puppy, and Taromaru always wanted to play with him and the puppy ran away with a happy bark as he jumped away from the shadow’s arms. Tokoyami didn’t have a problem with the puppy, even if Taromaru often barked at him (by dog instinct) and constantly tried to ‘attack’ him which resulted in just jumping and putting his little paws on his legs.

AROOOOO!

WOOF!!

ARF!!!

He loved being chased, and you were often the one to chase after him so he didn’t cause anymore trouble for anyone. Right now you were chasing him down because this time it wasn’t shoes he stole…

“Taromaru! Drop it!” You called for him and had him cornered as he had something in his teeth, growling at you playfully as you tried to take back the article of clothing. It was definitely a cloth of sorts, and a light shade of grey, but Taromaru took off running before you could make out if it was a sock or something. And once he took off you could hear your classmates shouting in the common room.

“Taromaru!”

“Don’t look!”

“What is that?!”

You ran back to see Taromaru, having a match of tug-o-war with Sero, but the latter didn’t want to hurt the little puppy’s teeth. “Ohhh please! Just… let it go…!” Oh God why did some of his classmates have to be here?

“Taromaru! Drop it!” Finally, Taromaru got the message and let go, but sent Sero tumbling backwards as he let out a small shout and felt the puppy jump on his chest and then take off running again.

You, Mina, Kirishima and Kaminari were snickering at poor Sero’s expense before you tried to see what it was that Taromaru took and picked it up. “Eek! No don’t touch that!” Your embarrassed classmate cried out as you dropped the cloth, and once it hit the floor you saw it… a pair of briefs…

“Ah it’s underwear… it’s underwear… again…” You blushed quite heavily and averted your eyes as Sero quickly picked up and hid it behind his back, “I-It’s not!” He exclaimed in embarrassment and blushed madly while his friends were all just laughing at him.

“Guess Taromaru likes your underwear…?” Mina asked the mortified Sero who quickly yelled back at her, “It’s not just me! I saw him take some of the others too!” It was true, Taromaru gained a habit of stealing underwear so he could chew it up…

You sighed and shook your head, “I’m sorry Sero, I need to make him not do that…” He already stole a VERY mortified Izuku, Iida and Ojiro’s undergarments, and it was bad enough when he was biting shoes. This became a quick and new bad habit…

“Kouda! Please get him to come back!”

“Taromaru! Don’t go that way!”

Your eyes went wide when you heard Tokoyami and Kouda’s voices calling out to the puppy, who came back quickly with an article of dark purple clothing in his mouth. Something you could only assume was underwear and you had to hold back ANY snicker that wanted to leave you, especially when you saw Tokoyami arrive, looking unusually irritated and partially humiliated.

“Don’t. You. Dare. Laugh.” 

He outright warned you AND everyone else in the common room, as Kaminari already closed his mouth with his hands when Taromaru barked happily with the underwear still in his mouth.

As much as you wanted to make a joke, you knew that this had to stop, and thankfully Kouda managed to convince the puppy to let go of the undergarments… but then he went back to run in another direction to find someone else’s…

“AH! Taromaru!!”

The trouble neverr stopped and the fun (and humiliation for some) never ended...  

Taromaru was much too quick, and just seemed to be a troublemaker by nature, however, he ultimately didn’t do anything too-too bad. And honestly still served to entertain and put your classmates at ease because he made them all happy.

“You’re a handful boy… do you know that?” You asked the puppy in your lap at the couch of the now peaceful common room, with your closest friends Izuku, Shinsou and Uraraka with you. Taromaru only barked in response as he nuzzled you lovingly, earning a chuckle from Izuku, an “Awww~!” from Uraraka, an ‘ugh’ from Bakugo who just leaned against the wall of the room and a scoff from Shinsou.

“Maybe… but… I’m glad we have him now.” Izuku said exactly what you were thinking, “Me too!” Uraraka quickly agreed with him, and you knew that the rest of your classmates could agree that Taromaru made a wonderful addition to the class. Even if Bakugo wasn’t crazy about him, at least he made you happy…

“So am I…” You smiled softly as you pet the happy and relaxed puppy as Taromaru gave you a very happy ‘ARF!’

BONUS:

“Kaminari…” Mineta was grinning widely as Kaminari perked up to see his tiny friend in the empty common room, along with the tiny puppy staring right at him with a pair of… briefs in his teeth? “Ohoho… are those….?” Kaminari was aware that the puppy had a habit of stealing underwear, but were those really…?

“They are!! This little guy helped me find the motherload!” Mineta happily exclaimed, cheeks red as he held all the underwear in his arms as Taromaru barked at him with his tail wagging. Taromaru knew those scents very well, and was happy to steal them, albeit without any idea of what Mineta intended to do with them…

“Whoa... those are... actual underwear.... you really just... took them huh? Ehehehe... uhhhh… are they at least… clean…?” Kaminari was visibly uncomfortable and flustered just seeing this, his friend really had no standards did he? And had no idea why he even asked that question, but if Mineta was really going to do what he was afraid he’d do he hoped they were at least clean since he was certain that this was definitely crossing a line...

And he cringed as soon as he heard a rather loud, firm SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF…

As Mineta pressed his nose against the crotch of the red fabric, his entire little body shuddering in pleasure as he gave a huge, trembling sigh, “They are not… no… they’re very not clean…” He gave Kaminari a huge, nauseating grin with blood running down his nose which kinda made him back away ever so slightly.

“So many panties so little time…” The little pervert drooled as he had several other briefs among him that he was shamelessly sniffing and it honestly unnerved Kaminari. Man, that little dog loved underwear, and it wasn’t even for perverted reasons unlike Mineta here…

“I love this dog… he can stay, he is the real hero here…”

“I dunno man… I don’t think-.”

“What are you little perverts up to?!” You sharply and somewhat angrily asked the two boys as Mineta and Kaminari jumped in horror when they saw you with your hands on your hips, looking quite pissed, with an equally pissed-looking Shinsou with his arms crossed.

They were caught in the act, along with Taromaru just barking happily at you as your pissed look quickly melted and you knelt down to pet the puppy, “Aww you’re the only innocent one at all here Taromaru.” You cooed at the little guy which made Shinsou roll his eyes.

“Innocent you say? That’s not true actually (L/N)! He’s the one who’s always stealing everyone’s underwear! I’m the one who caught him in the act and he stole all of these panties!” He claimed, pointing at the pup and then at all the briefs that you DID recall Taromaru stealing, but at least he was just being a curious, innocent dog, Mineta was being a perverted, disgusting dog…

You just glared at the little creep, “Oh yeah?” Might as well punish him by scarring him for life, “I don’t get you Mineta… why are you so vile? I know Taromaru did take the underwear, but that’s just him being a dog, dogs are curious about the scents left on by people they’re comfortable with. You… you’re just being disgusting, humans are NOT supposed to smell each other like that, or at all…” Even though you were trying to chastise him, he was STILL sniffing each of the undergarments he held in his arms while you had to hold it in as you watched him practically inhale the smell of the red briefs, the dark purple briefs, and then the orange ones and grey ones and white ones with a glittery lace…

“Panties sometimes have fallen pubes in them you know that right?” You wondered if he had ANY standards at all, but he just grinned at you disgustingly with blood on streaming down his nose and getting on all the underwear. “Oh I know… but I don’t mind…” His words and expression made Shinsou sneer at him in absolute disgust.

But then he saw you smirking, “Mineta I’ve been around during laundry day, and had to stop Taromaru because he has a habit of taking underwear so… I know whose is whose and… those belong to Kirishima, Tokoyami, Aoyama, Ojiro and Sero.” You finally revealed whose underwear it was Mineta was sniffing as the little pervert’s eyes went wide as he stared at the undergarments he carried in horror…

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

And screamed bloody murder as he promptly dropped them all to the floor, falling to the ground and staring with the most distraught look you had ever seen on him and practically foaming from the mouth as if his soul were about to leave him as you burst into raucous laughter and pointed, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Kaminari and Shinsou were both mildly horrified, disgusted and amused when they realized that it was apparently some of the GUY’s underwear that Mineta had, and somewhat relieved but still disgusted by what their classmate had done. “Ohhhhh dude…! HAHAHAHA! That is SICK!” It was still gross and perverted but Kaminari still laughed at his friend’s expense and pointed at him along with you, and Shinsou couldn’t hold in his snickers or the laugh leaving him especially when he saw you with your phone out, having recorded the whole thing.

“You’re bad (Y/N)…” He complimented you with a smirk as you shared a fist-bump with him, “I know~.” Giggling you recorded Mineta’s expression and then at Taromaru who was innocently panting, “Good boy Taromaru~.” You smiled as you knelt down to pet your sweet, happy puppy who barked at you, all the while Mineta was still trembling and looking quite nauseated and horrified…

“That dog is evil… pure evil…” The grape boy shuddered, and didn’t even notice the rest of his classmates come in. Including the VERY angry, VERY humiliated owners of the underwear who quickly snatched their undergarments back from the ground, only to cringe when they found blood and drool on them…

“Great... he touched it, now I have to burn it…” Sero muttered and shook his head as the other embarrassed and flustered males nodded in agreement, and you made sure to go and tell Iida what Mineta’s intentions were to do and that you were kinda happy that it ended up being the boy’s underwear instead of the girl’s.

“Iida… I think Mineta could use some detention, or ideally expulsion?” You asked the class rep now that you showed him some bonafide proof of Mineta smelling your classmate’s underwear. “Effective immediately…” The taller male muttered as calmly as possible even though he was visibly shaking with annoyance, disgust and anger.

Aizawa didn’t trust to leave Mineta alone in the dorms and clean everywhere, so he gave him at-home suspension for about a week along that required him to tend a one-hour ‘respect women’ class on each of those days. “Atta boy Taromaru.” All you could do was praise Taromaru though, even though you had a feeling the dog didn’t know what he was doing, he nonetheless gave you and the other girls a week off from that pervert.

“Very good boy!” And Yaoyorozu, Uraraka, Tsuyu, Mina, Jirou and Hagakure all surrounded you and him so they could pet the puppy for being such a good boy and gave him praises such as “Good boy!” “You’re such a good boy!”

You could tell the puppy loved it as he would get on his back to let all of the girls pet him and he gave them sweet little kisses, much to the guys amusement and Bakugo’s annoyance.

“Hee-hee… Taromaru~. I love you~.” You giggled as you pet the little puppy on the top of the head as he happily panted and wagged his tail.

“ARF!”

[ashintheairlikesnow]

BTHB: Forced to Watch

That’s right, it’s that time again! @muffinworry​ requested: @badthingshappenbingo​:  forced to watch with my girl ashley

As always: puppy stickers equals fulfilled, blood stains are requested

Tagging: @bleeding-demon-teeth, @spiffythespook, @finder-of-rings, @whumpywhumper​ @special-spicy-chicken​

CW: Stabbing, blood, referenced/implied noncon and abuse

“Ora, if you don’t start paying attention, this story is going to take a really long time to tell.” 

When Ora didn’t look up - a flash of the green hair on their head, dirty and clumped together by now, all they gave Ashley to look at -  Ashley sighed heavily, wondering why she put up with this. Sure, she didn’t know how to drive and Ora Collins at least appeared to have the car mostly under control (totally under control at the moment, as they were not even in the car, they were tied to a chair), but they were three days in and they should feel bonded by now.

Right? Shouldn’t they?

How long did it take Bram to start getting his boys to bond with him? Oh, but Bram had the eyes, and Ashley was never going to have the eyes. Not unless they met another like themselves and Bram helped her cut that one’s eyes out. 

“Ora. Come on, this place is a shithole and I do not have all day to walk you through this.” Ora sniffed, and Ashley paused while licking a bit of red off one fingernail. “What? What’s that noise for?”

Sometimes - if she was truly honest with herself - Ashley envied the other vampires. It would have been nice to live on blood, copper-salt-sweet and sparking with life in it. She could have been a great vampire like that. Instead, here she was, buzzing off the conflicting miseries of relief and hate and - strongest of all - fear that came from the poor little thing she carried along with her.

Well, and nice and full already from the meal currently slumped hard to one side and tied to a chair across the table from Ora.

“Ora, I am talking to you, and you remember the rules-”

“I’m sorry!” Ora jerked their head back up this time, meeting Ashley’s gaze with wide, frightened hazel eyes. Honestly, Ora’s eyes were their best feature, and Ashley never got tired of how they looked ringed in white from fear. “I’m s-sorry, Ashley, it’s just-... it’s just, it’s really h-h-hard to watch, to watch you...”

“What? To watch me cut him up?” Ashley blinked, looked at the man tied to the chair next to where she stood, then back to Ora. She gestured with the large chef’s knife she held in one hand, already smeared with the man’s blood. “He died like two hours ago, Ora, what’s the problem?”

“H-he… I kn, I know he’s d-dead, Ashley, but you k-keep cutting h-h-him…” Ora’s voice hiccupped, finally, into sobs and their head dropped once more as they began to cry, tears wetting little droplets onto the fabric of their jeans. They were still wearing the ones she had met them in, although Ashley had been nice enough to steal a bunch of different shirts and underwear somewhere in Iowa.

She was pretty sure they were in Nebraska now? It was flat and pointless, in any case, and Ashley had vague memories of the center of this stupid baby country being flat and pointless. Harder people lived out here, but fewer of them. 

No one like her could live long without a nice big population center to feed on, and Nebraska… Nebraska wasn’t it.

Ashley sighed and raked a hand back through her hair, frowning as she remembered she had a lot of blood on that hand. Oh, well. She’d have to shower before they left anyway. Brammie would take Ora into the shower with him, if he were here, start that whole mess back up, but Ashley valued her private time more than her Brammie ever had.

She missed her baby brother.

Baby by a few minutes, anyway.

But they’d find him soon enough in that prison in California, and then Ashley would set him free. It wasn’t fair to lock up something so beautifully wild as her brother. Do you blame a wolf for eating deer? Do you lock up a raccoon for digging through trash cans?

“Ora. I’m going to get rid of this whole…” She waved the knife around in a lazy circle, gesturing to the man who’d had the bad luck to piss Ashley off. “... mess. But I’m not going to do it until you have finished listening to me, and you have to look or the whole visual aid part of this just isn’t going to work.”

“B-But I don’t want to see the visual aid!” Ora wailed, and the sound of their sweet sad voice echoed off the walls. Ashley shivered, pleasantly, felt electricity light up her nerve endings and flood her veins. Moments like this were why Brammie kept Nate around, weren’t they? That little buzz in your fingertips, behind your eyes, the way Ashley felt like any moment now her hair might stand on end from the pure perfection of Ora Collins and their precious little fear.

“Ora. Darling. Light of my life, love of my heart. My absolute goddamn treasure.” Ashley leaned over, pointing the blade right at Ora’s little face. 

She watched their head slowly rise, eyes nearly crossing as they focused with new panic on the point of the knife so close to them. Ashley licked her lips, slowly, and tilted her head to take in more fully the sudden quick rise and fall of Ora’s chest under their baggy shirt. 

“Watch. The visual. Aid. Or I will cut your eyelids off so you can’t blink any longer. Am I understood?”

Ora’s throat moved in a sudden a swallow and they nodded quickly, hair falling into their face, and Ashley used the chef’s knife to gently - ever so gently - push it back to the side. She loved watching the wide hazel eyes following every movement.

“So. As I was saying. Brammie’s little boyfriend and I - he’d been living with us for three years by then, give or take - were alone in the house. Brammie still had to hunt, because he wasn’t doing enough to Nate to just, to just really eat him by then. It’s that whole nonsense thing about love, you know? We’ve been around for so, so long, and Brammie’s boys are a dime a dozen for forever and then we run into this pretty little prince of his and bam!” Ashley slammed her free hand down on the table and Ora jumped, letting out a scared little cry.

Ashley felt the reverberation of that cry right down her spine, like the lick of a lover’s tongue.

“Bam,” She repeated but gently this time. “He’s in love. He’s in love, Ora Collins, and you know what my Brammie and I don’t do?” Ora swallowed again - they swallow so much when they’re talking to Ashley, don’t they? - and ventured, in a trembling voice, “You, you don’t… fall in love?”

“Right. Absolutely right, Ora-who-I-adore-ah. We don’t fall in love. Why would we? Everyone dies in the end but us. What’s the goddamn point?” She sighed and rested her free hand on Ora’s shoulder, giving it a little reassuring squeeze, leaning over to look right at them. Ora stared back, their eyes shifting back and forth, as though trying to find some softness or give on Ashley’s.

There was none to find. 

Ashley knew her eyes were empty, reflection of light off the ice of a vast, lifeless lake. Bram had all the life in his. Ashley was nothing but walking death.

“So, anyway. Nate came to live with us - and at first we had to lock him in, and my Brammie… oh, the things my Brammie did to him.” Ashley breathed out, the happy memories flooding her system, and moved slowly away, circling the chair Ora was tied to, turning to look at the dead man on the other side of this small, sad little Formica table in some stupid shit town in stupid fucking Nebraska in this absolutely pointless fucking country.

“Wh-what things?” Ora asked, voice still shaky, but a little steadier now. “I r-read a little about the trial…”

“Hmmm, I doubt much of that came into play. Nate liked the things my Brammie did. You don’t talk about the parts you like in court, in my experience.” 

“Have you… eh-ever been to court?”

Ashley paused, tapping her chin with the blunt side of the knife. “I guess I haven’t. Well, unimportant to my story so shut your fucking face for five seconds while I set up the visual aid.”

Ora nodded, biting down on their lower lip. Ashley watched them stretch their wrists against the strength of the rope and find just enough give to add a little comfort, not enough to escape. Ashley was being nice to Ora, but she wasn’t going to be that nice… or that stupid.

Brammie had been stupid, once. 

Ashley would never be dumb enough to give another body the chance.

“So. In any case, after three years, you know, we were pretty used to each other.” Ashley started walking again, looking down to watch her own toes spread out against the dingy tile floor, yellowed with time. She stopped behind the man’s body, grabbing it by the short black hair on its head and yanking back, lifting the empty horrified green eyes to stare right at Ora. “We had our routine. Nate did all the cooking and cleaning like the good little housewife Brammie kept him to be, they fucked a lot-”

Ora winced.

“Oh, what, you’ve never fucked someone? What about Penny? I mean, it seemed like you did-”

“N-no, it’s just… it’s not that, Ashley, I swear, it’s just-” Ora’s gaze went to the fridge - wide open with only a jug of expired milk and a half-empty box of baking soda inside - and then it danced everywhere but at Ashley. “Can you not make me look at his, um, his eyes?”

“Oh, this is the problem? Yeah, sure.” Ashley dropped the head and it flopped hard back down, chin on its chest. “Sorry about that.”

“Th-thank you, Ashley,” Ora whispered. Oh, they learned the rules fast, and they learned them well. Ashley might actually regret killing Ora once they made it to her destination.

“Anyway. My story. So we had a good thing going, the three of us. Nate was a dartboard, he was a footstool for me one time, I cut the shit out of him, he and Brammie had some weird fucked up sex thing going… it was just a really good life, trust me. Then… then Brammie goes out hunting one day because he couldn’t hurt Nate anymore, he was in love the absolute dumbass, and while he was out…”

Ashley sighed, resting one arm on the shoulder of the corpse, looking down at it a little fondly. “While Brammie was out hunting, Nate picked up a knife. I didn’t expect it anymore. I thought… I was an idiot. He fooled us both, that son of a bitch. He shouldn’t have been able to but he did. He was cooking for me, and I came in to check on the progress, and…” Ashley’s grip tightened on the handle of the chef’s knife.

“And… and what?” Ora looked up slowly, nervously.

Ashley smiled, and there was blood smeared on her teeth. “Then he fucking stabbed me to death, Ora.” 

Her arm moved with inhuman speed to jam the blade right through the corpse’s chest, and Ora let out a startled breathy scream, jerking at their restraints. “Like this. And this. And fucking this. Get your fucking eyes back on me!” Ora started to cry, again, tears racing down their face on either side like gorgeous little raindrops, and Ashley laughed, a high-pitched half-shattered sound, at the sight. 

Ashley kept stabbing, making new wounds in a dead body over and over and over again, checking to see if Ora was looking, and they were, they were. The horror and disgust, the way Ora’s face went white and then green, it all fed Ashley, settled deep inside her bones and she felt the most ancient parts of her shift in happiness, in every single second being exactly what she was made to be.

She counted up the wounds - she thought maybe 37, it was hard to remember when you were being fucking stabbed to death by your brother’s boyfriend - and when she was done the knife clattered back to the ground, and Ashley stood, breathing hard, a snarl pulling lips back from her pinkish-stained teeth. “He killed me, Ora. Brammie’s little boyfriend killed me. Then he got up, and he left while I was still choking on my own fucking blood, and when I woke up it was five years later and you and your little asshole girlfriend were in my fucking house and my brother’s in fucking prison!”

Ora cringed back into their seat, into the restraints, trying to choke back their sobs and failing, failing miserably, failing beautifully. The sound of their tears bounced off the walls in this dirty little kitchen and everything seemed, in that moment, just a little bit brighter.

Pl-please,” Ora half-whispered, trembling and beautiful. “Please don’t, don’t do th-th-this anymore, please…”

Ashley sighed, nudging the corpse with her foot. Blood leaked from wounds as an afterthought, the motherfucker was too dead to be worth much of a show. Ashley looked down at her own hands, ran them over her chest and torso, reminding herself that her wounds were gone. They had healed, while she waited to come back. 

They had healed.

She was healed.

And she had a fucking job to do.

“That was the end of the visual aid, Ora. But my point is, Nate Vandrum is a piece of shit who didn’t know how good he had it, he murdered me, and I would very much like to find his dumb ass and murder him right back. But I have a feeling my brother won’t let me. So you - and I - are going to do the next best thing.”

“We… w-we are?” Ora raised their head one more, and Ashley moved to them swiftly, leaning over to take that softly rounded little chin in her hand. They did not flinch or pull away from her touch - they knew so many rules now, they were such a good little friend. “What’s the next best th-thing, Ashley?”

“Please,” Ashley said gently, lovingly, petting at Ora’s face, leaving little red stripes there that would dry and turn brown and flake away. “Please call me Ash, Ora, we’re friends now, aren’t we?”

“R-Right. F-F-Friends, Ash.” Ora nodded quickly, swallowing hard again. “We’re friends, right. Wh, whatever you say, is, is right.”

“That’s my… well. That’s my little Ora. See, this is why you got to be the one that lived. Lucky, lucky little thing.” Ashley kissed them once on each cheek, then petted one hand gently through Ora’s hair. After holding themselves stiffly still, Ashley felt Ora slowly force themselves to relax, and smiled with delight when Ora pushed their head a little harder into the touch of Ashley’s hand.

“Oh, you’re so good,” Ashley murmured, nearly purred the words, and Ora let out a shaking, audible breath of relief. “You’re such a good Oracle. We’re going to find my brother, we’ll let him out, and he will lead us to Nate Vandrum and that redheaded mop he tried to kill him for.”

“And, and then we’ll k-k-kill them?” Ora asked, keeping their voice low, whispering right back to her. “Then they’ll d-d-die?”

“Hm.” Ashley cradled Ora’s head in her hands for a moment longer, then let go and stood, stretching her arms high over her head, until the knobs of her spine cracked, until she felt the stretch of every single muscle in her body.

You should never take those living muscles for granted, after all. They could die any day, and not everyone would die with the coins to pay their debt.

“I d-d-don’t want to help you kill anyone,” Ora said, low and pleading. “I don’t want to be a murderer, Ash.”

“Don’t worry, darling, you won’t.” Ashley smiled. 

“B-but… you’re going to kill them?”

Ashley kicked the bloody knife until it banged hard into a wall across the little room. “Probably not.” Ora looked up, hope in their pretty hazel eyes, and Ashley licked her lips against how it was about to feel when she drained all that hope away. “They tried to kill my brother, after all. Killing them is going to be his job. But you and I… well. Have you ever heard about how the people who lived here before the colonists fucked it all up used to trap buffalo?”

Ora blinked, and slowly shook their head. Hair fell back over their eyes, but this time Ashley left it there. “N-No, Ash, I haven’t.”

“They would find the buffalo, and set up a trap. And a few would wave blankets and shout and maybe shoot an arrow or two, but the buffalo would stampede away from what they saw at the threat and run right into the trap. They’d get caught there, milling around, and then they just waited to die. So we’re going to set my brother free. We’re going to find his pretty little buffalo roaming the open range.” Ashley slid her hands into the back pockets of her own jeans, licking a drop of blood from the corner of her mouth. “Then you and I are going to wave some blankets and yell.”

“And… and y-y-your brother does the, um, the killing?” Ora’s voice was low, but after a second they nodded, thoughtfully. “I can… I can do that. If I don’t d-d-do the killing, Ash, I can, I can do that.”

“Wonderful. I knew I liked you for a reason. Now stay here and watch over our little buddy while I go take a shower. Once I’m clean, you can have yours and we’ll see if we can’t find you some fucking sweatpants or something in this house.” Ashley paused, then clapped her hands together in sudden delight. “I’m pretty sure I saw a KFC when we came in through town, let’s have fried chicken for dinner!”

Ora stared at the dead man who had once owned this house, and who had made the mistake of catcalling Ashley and calling Ora some kind of slur while they were getting gas. He was a dick to Ashley, and now he was dead.

To Ashley, it all made absolutely perfect sense.

Finally, Ora said softly, “Fried, um, fried chicken sounds pretty g-g-good…”

“And what do we say when someone offers to give us a gift, Oracle Collins?”

Ora smiled up at her - it was watery, and frightened, but it was a smile. “We s-s-say thank you, Ash. Thank you for offering to get me fried chicken for dinner.”

“You’re so welcome, love.” Ashley ruffled Ora’s pretty green hair and then turned to walk away. As she stomped up the stairs, she called out, “I’ll buy you some new hair dye, too, let’s get you all bright and fun again before we head west tomorrow!”

Oracle Collins, wearing week-old dirty jeans and tied down to a chair three feet from a corpse still leaking blood from too many stab wounds to count, let their eyes go slowly unfocused so they wouldn’t have to see anything at all any longer.

Somewhere nearby a police siren started up, but Ora didn’t raise their head. 

They knew those sirens weren’t coming to help.

[trashpandaorigins]

Groot Steve Rocket Bucky Scenes from a Life: Incorrect Quotes, Scenes and Dialogues Part 1

From the team that brought you The Shrapnel in Your Heart, who really should have had their Tumblr messenger apps taken away by now, comes an intimate portrayal of a retired life of leisure, except for when it’s not. Based on the ridiculous head-canon that Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky all live together in a New York City apartment after Infinity War. From misadventures, pranks, and drinking shenanigans to harrowing reckonings of their past, Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky will eventually carve out an odd little family for themselves. That is, if they don’t kill each other first. A series of incorrect quotes, flash fics and funny scenes/dialogues. Lots of humor and fluff, some angst….okay, moderate amounts of angst.

Read the entire GSRB Scenes from a Life Series on A03

Check out the work of my partner in crime at Skarabrae_stone on A03 and follow them here @captaintoomanybattles 

Bucky: *Gasp* You’re not the raccoon I befriended! I’m divorcing from this friendship!

Rocket: You know what, fine! I’m leaving and I’m taking Steve and Groot with me!

Bucky: You leave them out of this!

*Steve and Groot look at each other*

Steve: Maybe we should stop playing Monopoly…

Steve: What happened this time?

Bucky: He stuck his tail in the vacuum nozzle.

Rocket: You made me do it!

Bucky: No, I said, ‘Don’t stick your tail in the vacuum nozzle, Rocket’, and you said, ‘don’t tell me what to do, Bucky,’ and stuck it in there!

Steve: Where are you two going?

Bucky: We’re taking a page from your book, Stevie. We’re going to volunteer at the park!

Rocket: Or commit arson, possibly robbery and identity theft.

Bucky: We’ll decide on the way there.

*Steve and Rocket come home all bruised up; they’ve obviously been fighting.*

Bucky: Steve, we talked about this! You can’t just go starting bar fights! You better have a real good reason—

Steve: Some asshole called Rocket a raccoon.

Bucky: Yeah, okay, I can accept that.

2 Hours Earlier:

“Excuse me.”

Steve looked up from his beer at the large bar owner who loomed over him. He wants to start trouble. Steve could read it easily in the way the man’s eyes scanned him.

“Yes?” He forced himself to be polite.

“You need to take your pet outside. It can’t be in here, it’s a violation of the health code."

Steve’s blood pressure rose, knuckles turning white as he held the bottle in his fist. “He’s not my pet,” he corrected.

The bar man's small eyes looked down at Rocket, and he raised a brow. “Look, the raccoon has to go.”

Steve stood, finishing his beer. “I’m gonna have to ask you to refrain from calling my friend here a raccoon.”

The man scrutinized Rocket with a bewildered, critical eye.

“It’s fine, Steve,” Rocket slurred, defeated and already three sheets to the wind. “It’s nothing I ain’t heard before.”

Steve frowned.

“Listen.” The man stepped closer, breath reeking of liquor in Steve’s face. “You and your 6th grade science experiment…”

Steve’s fist slammed into the man’s face, his nose crunching painfully as he was knocked backward. Sorry Bucky, Steve thought, regarding his promise to not start anymore fights.

The man recovered, shaking hand held to his bloody nose, and Steve braced himself. Alright, so this is how it’s going to be. Why couldn’t people just take no for an answer? Why did everything have to end in a fight? He almost smirked to himself. ...but if it must you can count on good ole’ Captain America to fight the good fight. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe he could ditch the label all he wanted, but in his heart he still held a righteous fury.

Bucky: Steve, what are those scratches on your back?

*Flashback to Steve taking the trash out and Rocket jumping out and landing on his back as he runs around screaming trying to pry him off.*

Steve: I’m having an affair.

*Steve and Bucky come home after a date night. They find Rocket in an animal trap on their kitchen floor*

Steve: Oh my God, Rocket! Are you okay? What happened?

Rocket: Someone called the exterminator!!!

Bucky: I knew we should’ve told the landlord about him.

Rocket: * Visibly offended* Wait, you didn’t tell your landlord I was your new roommate? You know, I’m beginning to question the legitimacy of this friendship.

Steve: Is Groot still in the shower?

Rocket: Yeah, why?

Steve: Well, he’s just been in there for a while.

Rocket: He’s a growing boy! He needs to stay hydrated!

Steve: Yeah, but don’t you think two days is a little excessive?

Rocket: Stop feeding him Miracle Grow, he’s gonna get spoiled!

Bucky: *Looks offended and hugs Groot’s pot* Don’t talk to me or my adoptive son ever again!

*Watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail *

French Knight: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Bucky: Hey Groot, he’s talking about you!

*Driving in the car*

Bucky: Steeeve! Rocket’s trying to take my arm!

Rocket: Bucky pointed to some roadkill and said, ‘Look Rocket, that’s you’!”

Steve: So help me, you two, I will turn this car around and we will not get milkshakes.

*Both silent*

Steve: Hi, I’m Steve Rogers. I live with my boyfriend and our roommate and his son—

Rocket: *Shouting from the other room* He’s not my son!

Bucky: *Also in the other room* How dare you say that?! See, this is why I should have sole custody of Groot!

Rocket: You can have full custody when you start paying me back for all the pots and weed killers you bought him!

Bucky: You said we’d be in this together!

Steve: … there’s never a dull moment.

Groot: I am Groot?

Steve: No, you can’t have my car keys.

Groot: I am Groot ?

Steve: You have to wait ‘til you’re sixteen.

Groot: I am Groot!

Steve: I know your life cycle works differently, but those are the rules. You have to have a learner’s permit—

Groot: I am Groot.

Steve: Driving a spaceship doesn’t count! There’s nothing to bump into up there!

Groot: I am Groot!

Rocket : *In the background* That was ONE time!

*Bucky walks into teen Groot’s room. He’s watching a nature documentary about flowers and pollination.*

Bucky: Hey Groot, where’s the…

Groot: “...and so the tree releases it’s pollen...*Slamming laptop shut* I AM GROOT!

Bucky: Oh God… STEVE! PUT ME BACK IN CRYO! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!

Steve: Why?

Bucky: ASK GROOT!

Bucky: Rocket, I want you to meet a friend of mine. She’s really sweet and just your type.

*It’s a regular fox*

Rocket: H…hey there, nice to meet you. You, your fur is umm...really red...it..it looks nice.

Steve: This is mean. I’m gonna tell him.

Bucky: Don’t you dare!

*Rocket says he’s going to get decorative wall hangings for the apartment. Bucky comes home and sees he bought those letters you hang on the wall to spell things. It’s all the trigger words.*

Bucky: I swear, I’m going to turn you into a hat!

Bucky: Rocket, those scientists called! They want to know if you’ve gotten your rabies shot yet!

Rocket: I’ll give you rabies!

Steve: Please don’t, the last time you two fought we had to move…..again.

Rocket: Wait, you have a holiday where you just blow stuff up?

Steve: What? No!

Bucky: Yep! AND it’s Steve’s birthday.

Steve: YOU’RE NOT HELPING!

*Steve wakes up in the middle of the night, panicked, to the sound of gunshots*.

Steve: Bucky? You okay?!

Rocket: Hold still!

*Bucky is spinning around balancing an apple on his head while Rocket tries to shoot it off*

Bucky: What kind of shot are you if you can’t hit a moving target?!

Steve: One of you is gonna kill the other and I’m not driving you to the hospital.

*Fast forward to Bucky holding a cloth to his head in the back of the car while Steve comforts him. Groot is driving.*

Bucky: You said you wouldn’t miss!

Rocket: I didn’t! You moved at the last second!

Steve: GROOT, IT’S RIGHT ON RED, NOT LEFT!

*They careen through an intersection*

Groot: I am Groot?

Bucky: Yeah, it’s really gorey, wanna see?

Steve: NO! Eyes on the road!

Bucky: Damn raccoon shot me!

Rocket: *Whirling around* Call me a raccoon one more time and I’ll shoot you again!

Steve: Rocket, make sure Groot doesn’t kill us. Groot, stop signs are rules not suggestions. Bucky, stop moving, you’ll bleed more.  YOU ARE ALL WALKING ON VERY THIN ICE.

Bucky: Fucking animal is colorblind!

Rocket: DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!

Steve: Bucky, hold still! This is the last time you two play with guns in the house!

Bucky: Rodent, I will toss you out this skylight and you will be roadkill on the side of the street!

Rocket: YEA GOOD LUCK DOING THAT WITH YOUR ONE ARM!

Steve: *Looks at Groot* We’re all gonna die.

Rocket: It’s so sad Bucky died

Bucky: *From the other room* Quit telling everyone I’m dead!

Rocket: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

Bucky: I’M NOT DEAD

Bucky: Hey, psst Rocket, want to make some extra money?

Rocket: Do I ever!

*Bucky stands outside a makeshift enclosure with Rocket inside. Sign reads ‘Petting Zoo.’*

Rocket: You are so dead when we are done with this.

Bucky: Shut up and play with the children.

Bucky: Rocket look! *Points to where raccoons are rummaging around in the trash can behind the apartment.*

Rocket: What the hell is that?

Bucky: *Trying not to laugh* It’s….it’s you buddy.

Rocket: That is...that is not me.

Bucky: Say hello to your baby brother!

Rocket: Barnes I swear to god…

Bucky: *Pulls out a camera* Go stand next to him! I want a picture! This is going in the album.

Steve: You have an album?

Bucky: Well duh. Rocket, see if you can get it to smile!

Rocket: How the hell am I supposed to do that?!

Bucky: I dunno, growl or something? Speak the language of your people!

Rocket: They didn’t teach me no linguistics in experimentation torture school Barnes!

Steve: Bucky…

Bucky: Huh, that’s weird because that’s definitely a part of what they taught me.

Rocket: *Goes over and tries to communicate with the raccoons.*

Steve: *Face palms*

*Finally the raccoon sniffs Rocket totally looking cute and Rocket growls at it.*

Bucky: *Click* Ohhh! This is so cute, you look just like twins! This is going in the album!