#so like pretty early on though sonic does have some fame in the public eye

[mephiles-the-jester]

its 12am for me and i have many thoughts about this au where i just traumatise two older sibling sonic characters (and make metal a transgirl dating amy)

[iamnotawomanimagod]

Manic Review - From “Least-Best” to Best

Halsey released her third studio album on 1/17/2020, and it is easily her best. I’ve wanted to talk about it, but first, I need to figure out how I feel about each track in relation to the others. So this is mostly for me, but I’d love to hear how other people are feeling too!

I love all of these songs, I feel so blessed with this album, which is why this goes from “least-best” to “best”, not “worst.” 

(I know that’s kind of splitting semantic hairs, but I refuse to disrespect this album, lmao.)

So, without further ado, here are my favorite songs on Manic, starting with the one I like the least:

16 - “Alanis’s Interlude”

This is THE bisexual anthem we’ve all been waiting for from Halsey. It’s cool, sexy, and features some stellar vocals from both Alanis and Halsey. It ranks so low for me only because I’m not a huge fan of the chorus, the machine drums, or the melody, despite loving the message. But the verses are fire, and so are the vocals.

15 - “Still Learning”

I think this track will be a slow-grower for me, the way “Devil in Me” was. Maybe it’s just because it comes on the heels of the deeply, deeply impactful “More” - but I found this didn’t strike the chord I thought it would. It’s a beautiful song, though, and very meaningful to Halsey’s personal journey. I think seeing it live might change my mind about it.

14 - “Finally // beautiful stranger” 

This might be the sweetest side of Halsey that we’ve ever seen, especially when it comes to romantic love. The fact that it was inspired by Yungblud makes my heart ache a bit. I really love the duality of the different versions of Ashley in the video. That being said, the genre/style of song isn’t my personal favorite. Her vocals are amazing, though, and some of the lyrics are really poetic. I know this will be an especially tender one live, in front of a Halsey crowd. I can just picture everyone swaying and singing along.

13 - “SUGA’s Interlude” 

This interlude is such a soft, sad moment on the album, and it fits really well before “More.” SUGA’s Interlude is all about the way fame has changed both artists, and about how they’ll know when it’s time to step away from the spotlight - and how that might change them. SUGA has excellent flow, and Halsey’s delicate, pining vocals on the chorus is a perfect complement to his introspective rapping. It’s a really sweet song, and part of why it works so well on the album is because it creates such a heartfelt prelude to “More”. The song all about leaving fame behind, followed by the song about loving her unborn child, and how she badly wants to be a mother...gives me chills, man, literal chills. I think I’d like it more if I spoke Korean, but honestly, Korean Halsey fans deserve somethin’ special, so I’m okay with it.

12 - “You should be sad”

I still don’t know if I quite “buy” Y’allsey, but I can’t deny that this is a really fun song. Singing along to the lyrics is so satisfying, and the music video provided us with some serious Looks. The guitar riff between the chorus and the verses makes me feel things, and so does the line: “I’m so glad I never ever had a baby with you,” especially after hearing “More”. I like this song a lot, but compared to the rest of the album, it’s not in my top ten. I think it’ll be a really, really fun one live, though.

11 - “Without Me”

This song and I share a birthday! It’s also where Manic really began, although we had no idea that was the case, at the time. This was the first time Halsey wrote from such a specific and personal place, knowing we would all immediately recognize who the song targeted and why. She’s used this song brilliantly since then, coming up with a dozen different interpretations and set pieces, performing it while chained to a post, while revealing the messages of her cheating ex, while dancing with a beautiful girl, and even more. (It helps a lot that she performed this song with Jade Chynoweth, one of my all-time favorite dancers, and responded to the backlash of that performance by doing it again, but even gayer, just a few weeks later.) We owe a lot to this song. And, as it turns out, it really fits in with the story of Manic, and with the tone, from both a sonic and thematic perspective. I’m still a little tired of it, though, which is why it ranks so low. But - credit where it’s due!

10 - “Dominic’s Interlude” 

This one surprised me, although I went in with zero expectations, not knowing who Dominic Fike was. I wish Halsey was actually in this song, but other than that, I think it’s a great interlude. Not to mention: “If you’re looking for signs then you should know, there’s power in the words that you’re thinking.” That’s an incredible line, hit me hard. 

9 - “Ashley”

I both love and hate what this song means, because it scares the crap out of me. The way she described it as “a cautious goodbye” in an interview... It’s absolutely a letter to her fans, about Halsey, about who Halsey is, and who Ashley is, and how that balancing act both breaks her and makes her thrive. She can’t keep doing this forever. She knows how much she means to us, and this song is all about how heavy and scary that burden is, but that she’s committed to it, for now. Ending with that line from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was perfect. We’re the ones who shouldn’t assign her our peace of mind, y’know? Her vocals are stunning, though, and I think it’s the strongest opener from any of her albums. This song reminds me of a much less depressing version of “Batter Up” by Brand New, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it influenced her a bit.

8 - “Graveyard”

This song really feels like the older sister of “Without Me”. I love the racing speed of the melody and the rhythm, the way everything is layered so manically and frantically over the verses. It’s actually really easy to get lost in the musicality of this one, even though the lyrics are incredible. I think the music video is my all-time favorite of Halsey’s, because I love all the symbolism in it, and it was really trippy to see her without tattoos. I’ll consider this one a bop for a long, long time.

7 - “clementine” 

We’ve had this song for a little while, and it’s been one of my favorites. I was pretty sure it was going to stay that way, even after the album came out, but Halsey surprised me. That being said, I still love the way this song manages to be both playful and petulant, spirited and sad. It has some really beautiful images, and the music video is so pretty. 

6 - “I HATE EVERYBODY” 

We love a song full of contradictions! This song takes the humor/self-deprecation that started in “Clementine” and “Forever... (is a long time)” and turns it anthemic. The transition from “Dominic’s Interlude” to this song is so perfect, it’s hard not to listen to them one after the other. Halsey once again proves her lyrical prowess and ability to write a relatable bop, which is really what we love her for in the end, right? I love the way the song starts out pretty simply, than swells up into something epic.

5 - “3am”

I love this genre, so much, and I think Halsey completely nails it. This song wouldn’t make anyone bat an eye if you played it in 2007. Most other Halsey songs can’t claim that, and since I’m a sucker for the aughties, this one lives high on my list. It reminds me of P!nk, Avril Lavigne, and Paramore. The lyrics are super relatable, and I love the chorus and the bridge. It’s not the best lyrically, but that bridge honestly makes up for what the rest of the song lacks. Can’t wait to scream that one live! I do wish John Mayer wasn’t rambling on the end, but I also love how that leads into “Without Me”. 

4 - “929″ 

This might sound strange, but I love how this song starts with just Ashley talking; she’s speaking through laughter, challenging her friend playfully. This song feels so real. I love the stream-of-consciousness style of lyrics and the way the melody plays into that. Her voice reminds me so much of early, early Halsey - songs like “Tilt You Back” and “For Ruby”. I can relate so much to some of the things she says, and I love the way it ends. It’s such an interesting contrast to the way her previous albums concluded, too - “Young God” and “Hopeless” are both such epic, sweeping tracks. Ending her most personal album yet with such a tender ode to self-acceptance, and self-discovery, is such a beautiful way to show how much she’s grown, as a person, a songwriter, and a singer. This song makes me nostalgic, proud, happy, just a little sad, and feel so at peace.

3 - “More”

I almost don’t really have words for this song. Knowing Halsey’s story, her very honest and public experiences with infertility and endometriosis, made this song hit me a lot harder than I ever expected. I still can’t quite get through it without crying. It’s an incredibly beautiful song. Painfully, painfully honest, about a topic that’s so rarely openly discussed in pop culture. I don’t even want kids, but the yearning she shows, the hope she still has, the way she says that she’s loved her future child more than anything, and has always loved them; the reference to having already bought baby clothes; the sound of the sonogram machine, and the way it sounds like she’s singing to her baby from outside the womb at the end; it guts me. And again, I don’t want kids. I never expected this kind of honesty or tenderness from her. It’s such a special song, truly. (For the record, I listened to it again to write this and am fully weeping once more.)

2 - “Forever... (is a long time)” 

What a surprise this song was! I think it perfectly captures a certain kind of self-destructive behavior that so many of us end up falling into when it comes to relationships. The way the song goes from happy and plucky to this burgeoning feeling of dread, of spiraling down into those dark thoughts that trip all of us up from time to time. It goes from a love song to a break-up song in a matter of seconds, and the transition is spine-tinglingly perfect. The storm building in the background, starting with thunder and dissipating into rain. The way her voice comes back in with the same melody, but minor instead of major. The way the song sort of disintegrates into chaos, and into the realization: “talk to your man...tell him he’s got bad news comin’.” (This is definitely about the Yungblud breakup, right? Nevermind, my heart can’t take that. Gonna pretend I didn’t just realize that.)

1 - “killing boys” 

Jennifer’s Body is one of my absolute favorite movies, unironically. I love that Halsey loves it too, enough to include lines from it in the most badass boss bitch song she’s written since “Nightmare”. Her vocals are incredible (those high notes!) - the lyrics are the perfect blend of regretful and rageful - the beat, melodies, and overall composition just fills me up with this impossibly strong sense of “fuck yeah, fuck you.” I don’t have the words to describe how this song makes me feel. I had high hopes, based on the title, and it did not disappoint. This song has some of the cleverest lines on the entire record, and it makes me feel a way that no other song does. That’s what seals it at #1, for me (for now.)

Feel free to reply with yours, or tag me in your own review!! I’m really excited to see some of the more detailed opinions people have, now that the initial “IT’S HERE” hype has started to subside.

stream MANIC by HALSEY today

[emmasandstrom15-blog]

Gender and Sexuality Portfolio Post 3: Connection to Pop Culture

Rock music has been adjacent to pop culture since it moved from counterculture trend to mainstream music fixture in the late 60’s. Though they’ve remained close neighbors ever since, occasional rock musicians have made the crossover to become pop icons. Grunge music rose to popularity in the early 90’s relying on gritty guitar riffs and cutting lyrics to convey their musical messages. As the popularity of alternative music rose to an all-time high, some of its most iconic members infiltrated the pop culture scene. Courtney Love was one such woman, one of the only Whether you knew her name for her music or her notoriety, you had heard of her somehow: That was all that mattered to Love. After producing their first album with the help of Kim Gordon (of Sonic Youth fame), their second album propelled them to critical acclaim (Erlewine 1994). Live Through This produced a handful of popular singles, but none were quite as gut-wrenching or forlorn as “Doll Parts.” SPIN magazine once described it as “a song so tender it crushes you” and it fully lives up to this reputation, acting an unintentional harbinger of tragic events to come. The accompanying music video allows Love to share her raw emotional state with the world and provides insight to the turmoil she feels (Hopper 2014).

One week prior to the release of Live Through This, Love’s husband took his own life. Two months after that, bassist Kristin Pfaff succumbed to a heroin overdose. Though the song was originally written about Love’s insecurity in her relationship, it took on a new meaning about persevering through tragedy. The video, which was shot shortly after these events, lends itself to this new lens of interpretation (Hopper 2014).  

She begins by singing about how unreal she feels, as if living in the body of a doll, and then describes her insecurity at having a partner that so many people want a piece of. The love-hate relationship that emerges from these feelings, and as she intones in the chorus “Someday you will ache like I ache” until it reaches a fevered pitch (Love et.al. 1994). The isolation she feels is highlighted by her lone presence in the narrative portions of the video, and her “fake” feelings are emphasized by the presence of broken dolls throughout. The only other character in the video is a young boy, dressed similarly to the late Cobain, seen playing with the dolls. Love becomes more destructive over the course of the video, physically expressing the rage and frustration she feels before finally closing the door on the boy. The final shot of her resting her head on the doorframe suggests a deep sense of longing and loss, with no words needed to suggest the pain she must be feeling (HoleVEVO 2011). The video played in heavy rotation on MTV, and the song peaked at number 39 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, a rare feat for an alt-rock song. Pop culture loves a good tragedy, and Love had delivered in spades (Pelly 2014).

The title of the song itself is a way for Love to articulate how she feels in her relationship. By introducing the doll metaphor, she is able to express how hollow and unreal she feels, akin to a collection of doll parts. The line “I fake it so real I am beyond fake” implies that she puts on a brave face in the public sphere and hides her pain from the public eye (Love et.al. 1994). Throughout the video, broken dolls are used as playthings for the boy, which further emphasizes the idea that women are playthings in the eyes of men; it retells the binary by reinforcing the idea that women are objects to be looked at and used, without any agency of their own. Perfect and hollow, the idea of them seems to haunt Love. This is a form of prescription, described in Gender Stories as “narratives that depict masculinity and femininity in ways that conform to the gender binary...” (Foss et.al.2013). The disjointedness she feels as a result of her failure to fulfill this stereotypical role in her relationship is expressed when she describes herself as a jumble of doll parts, and all dolls in the video appear decrepit and broken in some way. Equating her feelings about herself and other women with dolls reinforces a traditional binary mentality.

Towards the end of the video, Love’s voice reaches a crescendo as she half-sings half-screams the final chorus, wrecking the scenery around her. Anger, while common in rock music, was rare for a woman in the public eye to express. Feminine artists were still expected to prescribe to the “sit still look pretty” mentality if they wanted to make a name for themselves in the industry. Riot Grrrls of the punk scene were using music as a vehicle for their anger, but had yet to break through into pop culture. Courtney Love was brash and unapologetic in her persona, and even in grief she refused to subdue any parts of herself to please labels or audiences (Wolfe & Shifflett 2017). This authenticity normally attracted scorn from critics and audiences, but this time they largely stayed silent, unwilling to criticize a woman expressing her grief. The rage she expresses in her performance revises the binary ideology of music performance, wherein anger is a purely masculine emotion and should therefore only be expressed by men. Anger is an emotion women feel too, and Hole makes sure the world knows they are allowed to express it just as much as any male rock band. Though the binary remains intact, it is ultimately “expanded by the narrative”, as described in Gender Stories (Foss et.al. 2013).

Hole themselves challenge the preconceived notion of what a grunge band should look like. Most bands emerging from this genre were male, and the ones to break through to the pop culture scene were almost exclusively so. Unconcerned with prescribing to traditional femininity, Love and her band perform here with the all the passion and presence of any other rock band. Each member uses fashion and performance style to blend feminine and masculine traits, unconcerned with being “pretty” or softening their performance. This ties directly to revising the binary by challenging strictly masculine or feminine roles in the music scene, “encouraging the audience to interrogate the matrix that is the binary” (Foss et.al. 2013). Female musicians were often relegated to pop music, and expected to sing about traditionally feminine subjects (which were often superficial). Hole completely undermines this by writing about more taboo topics including messy break-ups, sexual assault, and eating disorders to name a few. By challenging its traditional confines, Hole plays an important role in rewriting the binary; they carved out a space that gave permission for other feminine musicians to express themselves in a new way.

Many loved to posit that the fame was based more on the scandals surrounding Courtney than any music they might have produced, but their sound stands on its own against the critics. Though they didn’t realize it at the time, Hole was pioneering a new sound that would shape the future of alt-rock music. By taking a risk and adding more melodic elements to their music, they were able to tap into a mainstream audience they hadn’t had before, rising through the ranks to join peers like the Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana, fronted by Love’s husband Kurt Cobain (Hopper 2014). They were a powerhouse group, with Love’s unapologetic attitude at the forefront of the music. This video provides valuable insight to her raw emotional state and provided an avenue for a collective healing process to begin. Though elements of the binary are present, Hole’s artistry does its best to challenge and revise the binary of music in popular culture. In doing so, they have cemented a legendary status for themselves that persists into the present day.

Sources

Erlewine, S.T. (1994). Hole: Live through this. Allmusic. Retrieved from https://www.allmusic.com/album/live-through-this-mw0000624149

Foss, S.K., Domenico, M.E., & Foss, K.A. (2013). Gender stories: Negotiating identity in a binary world. Long Grove, IL: Waveland Press. Love, C. Erlandson, E. Pfaff, K. & Schemel, P. (1994) Doll parts [Recorded by Hole]. On Live Through This. Atlanta, GA: Triclops Studios,. [HoleVEVO]. (14 Jul. 2011). Hole - Doll Parts [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD9xK9smth4 Hopper, J. (14 Apr. 2014). “You will ache like I ache: The oral history of Hole's 'Live Through This'”. SPIN. Retrieved from www.spin.com/2014/04/you-will-ache-like-i-ache-the-oral-history-of-holes-live-through-this/ Pelly, J. (1 May 2014). Courtney Love. Pitchfork. Retrieved from https://web.archive.org/web/20160314063641/http://pitchfork.com/features/interviews/9395-courtney-love/ Wolfe, A. & Shifflett, J. (15 Nov. 2017) “‘I’m in the band’ EP. 4: Patty Schemel (Hole) on making zines with Kurt and Courtney”. Tidal. Retrieved from http://read.tidal.com/article/im-in-the-band-ep-4-patty-schemel-hole-on-making-zines-with-kurt-and-courtney