#so like instead of spoiled and getting everything she wants we know Merida works so hard for what she wants

[yourmajestybee]

I saw Wicked the movie (I had already seen the musical!) and now I got wizard of oz on the brain so here’s my pitch for a rise of the brave tangled dragons au

Are y’all seeing the vision??

[lihikainanea]

bill and tiger around christmas and she decides to spoil him big time. he even buys her a lingerie set that is more risqué than normal, leaving very little to the imagination, and he’s even blushing about it because this set was BOLD for our good dude. but she rewards him, definitely rewards him.

ohhhhhh god how I love this.

But like, sweet nani, how is it risqué? Like what’s different about it? Wait, don’t tell me. I think I know.

Alright so we know about Bill and his little Merida thing, and we also kind of know that maybe Bill’s tastes in lingerie kind of err more on the side of dainty, feminine, maybe a little innocent. And I don’t know what I prefer more--like, did Bill just suddenly get daring and see a set that was far more courageous, and decide to get it?

Possibly, but also, please bear with me for another thought.

Maybe tiger is feeling herself lately. Maybe she got a big promotion. Maybe she’s been working out more. Maybe its neither of those things but she’s just having a total me moment and homegirl is feeling so good. And maybe one weekend morning at breakfast, Bill is talking about what he feels like cooking for dinner tonight and he’s waxing poetic about the most perfect artichokes he saw at the market last weekend and tiger gives a non-committal shrug.

“Whatever you want bud, I won’t be here,” she says. Bill looks at her quizzically.

“You won’t?”

She stabs a potato, nudges her feet (which are in his lap) into his hand because they’re cold.

“Nope,” she says, “Three’s a crowd.”

“Three?” Bill is still confused. Tiger takes a sip of her coffee and looks at him over the rim of her mug.

“Scarlet’s in town tonight,” she says. Bill’s eyes widen in realization.

“Oh,” he stammers, and the pink hue rushing to his cheeks is unmistakable. “Oh. Oh, god. Oh god that’s--”

he’s stammering like an idiot, smirking to himself like a dork, and tiger can’t help the little taunting smile on her own face. Bill goes quiet but that dopey grin is still on his face for the entire day.

And tiger’s tastes border on feminine and girly too, but Scarlet? That bitch is cray. Ain’t nothing she won’t do. So tiger picks out something that is definitely a little more bold and risqué than something she would ever choose to wear. Maybe instead of lace and frills and pinks and whites this one is black. Just black. And in the place of lace, there’s....nothing. It’s more harsh, it’s more bold, it’s far more erotic. There’s a few buckles--nothing too hardcore, but definitely racy. There’s no corset, no frills--everything is cut at harsh angles and there ain’t much to it. Tiger had to initially conceal the blush on her own cheeks when she saw the crotchless panties, but to hell with it. Bill was hers, and damn if she didn’t want to own his ass sometimes.

And listen, Bill is fucking adorable that day. He keeps watching her with flitting eyes, waiting for it, wondering if she’ll just suddenly morph into Scarlet or if there’s like....a cue, or something, that he needs to pay attention to. Tiger thinks it’s hilarious. He blushes the whole day, only steals fleeting, shy glances at her, and it’s a real power trip for our girl.

But eventually, sometime before dinner but after she’s made him a drink, she stands up and stretches.

“Well,” she says, “Better get going.”

Bill shoots to his feet.

“Oh god,” he stutters, “Oh god it’s happening. Okay. Okay okay okay...”

And he turns suddenly, but then he realizes he’s not the one leaving so he’s just kind of...turning in circles, trying to figure out what to do. Tiger laughs.

“Bye bud,” she kisses him, “Have fun.”

And then she disappears into the bedroom. And about 20 minutes later--20 minutes of Bill pacing anxiously, wiping his hands on his jeans--she emerges. And holy fuck, Bill’s jaw hits the floor. She’s done up to the nines, deep crimson lipstick, in a get up that makes his throat run dry. She looks incredible, but she also just looks so...naughty.

“Hey there,” she purrs. Bill actually squeaks. Rooted to the spot, unblinking, he squeaks.

“H-H-...” he stutters, “Hello. Scarlet. Hi.”

Bill’s never quite seen anything like it. She looks fantastic, but he’s just...stunned. In the best way. This set is far more skimpy, far more daring, far more outrageous than anything she’s ever worn for him before, and anything he’s ever bought her. And it flares a side of him that he didn’t even know he had--he always just kind of gravitated towards more dainty, understated lingerie--but this? Oh, oh he really likes this.

And maybe that night, how daring she is with him, how incredible she looks--maybe it kind of piques his interest and has him discovering some new little pleasures of his own. So maybe one day out on a limb (ie: he’s totally shopping online for new lingerie sets for her), maybe he sees one that’s a bit more akin to what she wore for him that night. A bit more bold, more explicit. And his throat runs dry, his breath hitches at just the thought of her in it--so he buys it. Wraps it up real nice for her. And it takes him a solid few weeks to get up the courage--and hell maybe he doesn’t quite get the courage. Maybe on his way out to a boy’s night at the bar, he places the neatly wrapped gift on his bed where he knows she’ll find it, gives her a rushed kiss goodbye, and off he goes.

But I mean, the idiot. Because tiger waits up for him. She always waits up for him when he goes out for the night (and vice versa), because that’s just what they do. Both of them will camp out on the couch until the other one comes home, so that they can go to bed together (oh god, my heart). So when Bill stumbles in a tad buzzed, tiger rubs sleepily at her eyes and goes to greet him with a kiss.

“You’re a tad mischievous, aren’t you?” she mumbles against his lips with a smile. Bill blushes a little.

“Maybe,” he smirks, “I know it’s a little....bold.”

“It’s beautiful Billy, thank you,” she says, “Scarlet will love it.”

“Actually,” he clears his throat, fiddles a little with the hem of her (his) shirt, “I was kind of hoping that...my girl would wear it for me.”

His honesty, his vulnerability still knocks her socks off. He shifts his eyes timidly to hers, and god her whole heart could explode.

“Don’t get me wrong, Scarlet is great,” he stammers, “But she doesn’t hold a candle to you. It’s always you, kid.”

Bill’s a big dude, but the velocity with which tiger launches herself into his arms is enough to throw him off balance.

[betweenpaperpages]

Hear Me Still - Chapter Seven

Summery: A new store-front is set to open on main street in Storybrooke and with it brings new resident Mr. Gold to the center of attention. While he looks forward to this new step in business, it is yet unknown if his deafness will set him back once again.

Beta: @ishtarelisheba

Read on AO3!

[Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five][Chapter Six]

Chapter Seven: More Than Meets The Eye

________________________________________________________________

Acquiring his new library card was a simple and straightforward affair, and in a matter of a few minutes Marcus had it slipped into his wallet and a new stack of books to read. He should really head back to the shop to get some work done or perhaps take care of a few other errands. 

Belle spoke up again before he had the chance to wish her a good day.

“How are you liking Storybrooke so far, Mr. Gold?” Belle questioned, handing him his books. “You haven’t been here long, have you?”

Marcus shook his head side to side lightly. “Oh, uh... no, not very long. Perhaps a month or so?” he answered, sounding unsure himself. “I haven’t been around town much… Busy putting the shop together.” 

Belle smiled as she listened to his answer, enjoying the brush of accent across his wording. “I can imagine, you seem to have quite the collection there.” She chuckled. 

“Y-yes well… one never knows what could be someone’s treasure.” 

“Have you had the chance to explore town at all?”

“A small portion, however, Grace is determined to take me on an adventure and show me the entire town before school begins.” 

“Grace? Grace Madden?” Belle questioned. 

Gold nodded, his gaze slipping down to the books in front of him, restacking them from smallest to largest. “Yes, Jefferson’s daughter. Do you know her?”

“Yes, she comes to story time every now and then with -- “ 

“Hey, lassie!” a heavily accented voice called, cutting her response off. “Can you help me over here for a sec?” 

Belle sighed in annoyance. Really, Merida should know to keep their voice down to a reasonable level. “Excuse me Mr. Gold, I’ll just be a minute.” She turned to walk around the circulation desk, brushing past him on her way. 

Marcus shook his head as he looked back up to her. “N-no, please, go ahead. I apologize for taking up your time,” he managed to mutter, though he was certain half of it wasn’t heard. 

“What can I do for you Mer?” Belle questioned. 

The conversation drifted into background noise the farther the librarian walked away to help the young redhead, leaving Marcus to gather up his books and quietly heading back home for the day.

xxxxx

Marcus sighed as the door swung open, stepping into Jefferson’s rather eclectic home. While he wouldn’t call it his style, he felt fortunate that he was invited and encouraged to call the space home. 

He took a step to the side, setting the library books down on the hall table and tossing his keys into the bowl before depositing his coat on the rack — which inevitably only stood to support Jeff’s favorite top hat.

The house’s silence hugged him as he made his way up to his bedroom, flicking on the lights as he went, confirming that both Jeff and his daughter were out. Marcus ran his hands through his hair, gathering the length together to tie off in a ponytail. It wasn’t an intended look - he more so used it for convenience, but it didn’t stop his family from pointing out the longer it got, the closer he was to having a man bun. He shook his head at the idea. Clearly he did not have the looks for such a style. Carefully, he reached back to each of his ears, clicking the off button and pulling out his hearing aids, setting them aside on the dresser. 

Going from a world of sound, music, and chatter to one of near void-like silence had not been an easy transition. However, it was something he simply had to deal with at the time. There had been no time nor reason to wallow in self pity. After a while, one became accustomed to their inner monolog being a constant companion. There certainly would never be a day he wasn’t alone with his thoughts. 

Marcus hummed ‘A Whole New World’ to himself as he made his way back downstairs. The song had been incessantly playing in his mind from Grace’s last rewatch of Aladdin. He only stopped for a moment to pick up the stack of borrowed cookbooks on his way to the kitchen.

Jefferson certainly had not skimped on the budget when he renovated the house. The kitchen had just about every element any chef, or in this case, a home cook could dream of. Large farmhouse sink, marble countertops, soft-close drawers, double ovens, a gas range, along with all other top quality appliances. Such a kitchen deserved a proper chef, but instead today it would have him for company again. 

He settled one of the cookbooks into a nesting stand, flipping through the pages before settling on a vegetarian casserole. The kitchen was well stocked and easily had all of the ingredients he would need without making a run to the grocery store for any last minute items. 

Marcus pulled out a colander to place in the sink before gathering his vegetables, taking a moment to make sure his shirt sleeves were well rolled, pulling on an apron, and starting to wash them up in cool water. Even though it was still summer it was a bit late in the season to plant anything in Jefferson’s garden. Perhaps if he was still living with the Maddens coming next year it could be his and Grace’s project.  

Moving to the cutting board with the zucchini and heirloom tomatoes, he picked out a suitably sharp knife and began slicing everything to the appropriate size, glancing back up and checking the recipe book for any details. Marcus enjoyed cooking, but even at his age he could admit he was still learning quite a few things. The fact that he was cooking for others and not just himself made the effort worthwhile and that much more enjoyable. 

As careful as he would be as if restoring an antique, he layered a baking dish with the vegetables along with fresh basil, garlic, salt and pepper, finishing off the top layer with a blend of cheeses. Sliding the dish into the oven and setting a timer, he washed up his tools and hands, moving on to pull out a small baguette. Quickly slicing it in half, he spread a garlic butter mixture on either side and set it to the side to be finished off at the last minute with the casserole.  

Yet another benefit of living with the Madden’s was Jefferson’s intention on keeping up with the latest technology. If it was released, he was most likely to have already ordered it before it came on the market. 

“Alexa,” Marcus called out, the small speaker unit hanging on the wall activating, “play Ludovico Einaudi.” 

Faintly he could hear the computer respond to his request and with a few beeps it began to play one of his albums. The soft piano music twined beautifully with the string instruments, filling the kitchen with a gentle ambiance. It would probably be easier to use a device and place a pair of headphones into his ears to get the best sound without wearing his hearing aids. However, he much preferred for the drifting music to fill the space around him, pushing the wall of near silence back just a few feet. 

xxxxx

Marcus had just slipped the garlic bread into the oven as he heard the high-pitched sound of the doorbell ring. Glancing up from his cookbook where he was leaning on the counter, he saw the LED light on the doorway flashing brightly. He set the book aside as he stepped into the hall when a small body with open arms crashed into his midsection without warning. 

“Uncle Gold, we’re home!” Grace announced happily, resting her chin on his belly as she grinned up at him. 

Marcus chuckled as he squeezed her back. “Yes, I can see that.” 

Jefferson frowned as he closed the door behind him with his foot, shaking his head. “Grace, we’ve talked about this before.” He sighed as he set the shopping bags down on the hall table. “You have to give him a chance to get to the door before barrelling in like that.”

“It’s fine, Jeff,” Gold brushed off, his eyes having been glued to his friend’s lips to read them. “I saw the kitchen doorbell, it's not like she gave me a heart attack.” 

“No, she knows the rules better than that. Grace, you owe Marcus an apology.”

Grace glanced to her father before back up to Marcus, biting her lip as she released him from her arms. “I’m sorry.” 

He took a knee down next to his niece as he bopped her nose with his finger, offering her a smile. “That’s quite alright, I get excited to see you, too. Why don’t you wash up, dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” 

“Okay.” 

Jeff shook his head again as he watched his daughter take off up the stairs before. “You spoil her you know that?” he questioned, though there wasn’t much mirth to his voice. 

“Not that much. She just has a lot of energy,” Marcus responded, pushing up off the ground. He picked up one of the bags to carry it through to dining room off the kitchen. “Alexa, pause music.”

“Still, she knows the rules. We went over them half a dozen times before you moved in. I don’t need nor want my child to give you a heart attack because you didn’t hear her.” Jefferson sighed, crossing his arms as he leaned in the doorway between the two spaces.

“Jeff, you’ve done more than enough to accommodate me. More than someone could reasonably ask. If I’m not paying attention to my surroundings and my heart is really that weak, then a heart attack is my own damn fault,” Marcus lectured. Really, the man had done more than enough to assist him with his transition into Storybrooke, let alone his business start up. Compared to what he had seen… Well, a young girl would hardly be the death of him. 

Jefferson adjusted his weight against the door frame, his face holding a curious expression though it dropped with another sigh. “I suppose you’re right.”

His hands dropped to the side as he stood up, turning towards the kitchen and taking a large inhale of the attractive aroma. “Besides, looking at that apron, who couldn’t benefit from having Julia Child living with them?” 

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*