#so like idk how to give her the growth where she gains confidence in herself not by being like ‘noo you are useful and so normal’

[pacifistcowboy]

i thought i managed to figure out sterling’s (my sol dimension silver) personality but the more i think about her the less she makes sense.

like i know she wants to save the future but she doesn’t believe she can do anything to help, just tell other people “hey i think i can see the future and it’s fucked” and it takes her a while to even say that.

i have it that fundamentally, sterling is insecure and believes it’s best if she stays in the background, both because she doesn’t know how to interact with people and because she has no skills to offer. when she does have to talk to people, she just speaks overly truthfully and says whatever she genuinely thinks of, which tends to weird people out. she notices that, but she doesn’t know how else to talk. she isn’t mean or anything, she just has no sense of being too personal or too random or people meaning something different from what they exactly said.

i like sterling being like this, but it doesn’t exactly feel very contrasting to silver. but at the same time, it kinda does?

silver has outright said he’s been alone for so long he can’t imagine wanting to be on your own, which means he likes making friends, so sterling actively trying to keep her distance contrasts that! and silver has shown that when on a mission he just doesn’t bother to explain himself or what he’s doing because he’s too busy, so sterling just spewing anything and everything on her mind when prompted contrasts that.

BUT!!! when silver is friends with someone, has the time to explain, or is in a relaxed situation, he’s completely honest and is shown to be unknowingly inexperienced in social interaction compared to most other characters, which would be the same as sterling, just not as extreme i guess.

i think the issue, as it’s always been since i first decided to make sterling, is that silver himself is rather self-contradictory. depending on the situation he’s in and how comfortable he is, he can either be a lone wolf who has no time for anyone’s bs and will fight you in a heartbeat if he thinks he has to, or he can be this upbeat fella who’d love to be your friend and help you out. so if i made sterling directly contrast this, she’d just be like silver except the situations in which she acts a certain way would be swapped.

the approach i went for sterling is that, before she gained her ability, she simply avoids others and leaves the ‘useful’ people to be useful, and when she first gets the visions and realises what they are, she tries to convince herself they’re not real and everything’s fine. but she progressively loses the energy to convince herself it’s not real, but even then she has no one to say anything to. no one likes her, socialising is difficult, and she’s sure no one would believe her anyway. plus she has absolutely no confidence that she could do anything herself. so sterling goes on just living her isolated life whilst freaking out about the visions, until she hears about the fact that the princess has been on adventures in another dimension (god i hope that’s a known thing in her world or else this is fucked) and sterling thinks “if the princess has done something nuts like that then there’s a chance she’ll believe me about my visions” and from there she has to step wayyy out of her comfort zone n help the heroes.

i’m worried she’s too much of her own weird thing to even count as a sol dimension version of silver. like sure she’s got a future thing going on, her traits contrast silver’s optimism, determination, and confidence while still sharing the same values of caring about the future and the people, but i just worry her general behaviour will have nothing to do with contrasting him n may end up like somewhat weirdly similar to him.

[kodev]

Thoughts about sorawo and toriko?

oh my god so many. keep in mind i havent reread the novels in maybe a year now so i might be off with some of the stuff im about to say...

i have many thoughts on sorawo and toriko SEPARATELY But from the phrasin of this and also assumin u meant like them romantically iwill sally forth. bonus drawing if u make it all the way thru this word vomit

i think the main reason i love the main pairing together is because of the slow burn and also because i think they are (slowly) growing together and enabling each other to become better versions of themselves. and they both (while stumbling and not through perfect efforts) try to leave each other space and push each other to recover from their respective traumas. its all very sweet and very human. sorawo's side is more obvious: i think meeting toriko has allowed sorawo to feel like she has more self control over her life, and also (slowly) i think befriending toriko means for sorawo, shes slowly opening her heart for other people in her life. esp with the series opening the way that it does with sorawo going "nobody would miss me if i died. except the debt collectors" and then toriko entering and not leaving her alone which then starts a whole domino cascade of events that end up with sorawo being surrounded with people who do love and care for her. aueugsdhfshfrg (emotional). on a side note i like how miyazawa gives sorawo agency in her growth---i think too often a character who is traumatized gets sort of shuttled in to a specific road of recovery, and if they display behaviors or opinions that appear antithetical to their recovery, i feel like they get infantilized like oh you dont know your own mind and stuff. but with sorawo miyazawa lets her take things at her own pace, set her own boundaries, and have like idk emotions seen as more "flawed" than usual. i enjoy it it also feels very human and compassionate of the story

toriko is a whole other story. i think her growth is a lot more subtle since we dont see a lot of her pov and we have to infer what is happening from sorawo's erm... unreliable narration at times. with toriko i think at first she reaches out to sorawo for the same reason sorawo is drawn to her---they're both very lonely and isolated people. over time however, i think toriko (esp in vol 8) has shown a lot of growth as she is now able to take sorawo's apparent rejections less personally if that makes sense? like she's gained the self confidence to stand on her own two feet which is a change from the start of the series where she was depending on different people (satsuki then sorawo) to make herself feel more complete. idk if that makes sense and i might be completely off on that mark lmao again i havent read the novels in a hot sec. i think sorawo's part in this is sorawo treats toriko as an equal for the most part, which is something she didnt probably get with satsuki. i imagine this allowed toriko to feel more loved, but also allowed her to do a lot more self reflectiona nd growth. love her to bits sorry if any of this is wrong also i feel like im forgetting things

tldr i love stories where traumatized characters meet each other by chance and then become best friends (accomplices) and then fall for each other while becoming better versions of themselves in the meanwhile. and soratori is really good at exploring the dynamics of this <3 yay

heres buff toriko i was drawing for fun. i have myreasons for this but #1 reason is that the world is made out of pudding

[some-days-we-get-sundays]

Sara was scared to die...

This is the first time since arrow I believe that we’ve really seen Sara Lance truly be scared of dying. And it wasn’t really like she was scared of dying, it was that she was scared of leaving Ava and scared of leaving her family (the legends). She’s died a lot and been in the face of death a lot but this is the first time since she was on the island on Arrow that she was able to sit with the fact that she was going to lose her loved ones and they were going to lose her. And the magnitude of this was far greater than when she was on the island because she didn’t have close friends, she didn’t have a true love and now she does. 

Sara has always had quips in the face of death, she literally at times laughs in the face of death and makes a smart remark. She’s died multiple times. She doesn’t care that much. But now she’s got love in her life and she cares a whole hell of a lot. There were no remarks this time. No quips. She was solemn. She was pensive. Behind those glasses she was sad. Caity did a brilliant job of still showing Sara’s sadness when we couldn’t see her eyes. You could see it in her body language, hear it in her tone of voice, and see it on her mouth. Ava could see it too. But she let it slide. Ava waited a while to ask Sara what she was hiding because Ava knew Sara had her reasons. And Ava wasn’t accusatory or mad, she was concerned. Their relationship is beautiful that way. And I don’t blame Sara one bit for “keeping things” from Ava. If she had told Ava her vision, they would not have been able to concentrate on the mission, Ava needed to focus, they all needed to focus. They probably wouldn’t have let Sara come with if they knew. And they needed to be at full strength. Remember what Sara said in season 4, she needs to be out there with her team. Sara does things out of selflessness and love. Sara has been through more trauma than any of them. It’s not an easy burden for others to carry if she just starts unloading it all on them. They can’t handle it like she does. She can compartmentalize and make the best overall group decisions. It’s why she’s captain. Yes Sara and Ava are a couple, they are in it together “co-captains for life” but I think Sara was right to hold off on telling Ava and the others.

I want to go back to Sara Lance for a minute. This episode was the moment that hit her about how much she loves her life, the legends, and Ava. Other times she is just like ah fuck it! I’ve died before! But I think these powers and going blind have given her a new perspective. She’s not invincible and neither are her loved ones- despite all the close calls and times that she has died. This is why Sara never wanted to get close to anyone in the early seasons. It’s why she pulled away from the nurse Lindsey’s kiss in the early season. It’s why we can argue that she had all these one night stands. She wasn’t ready for anything real. Because with real love and feelings comes real hurt and pain. But our baby grew up right in front of our eyes. THE GROWTH.

I feel like it wasn’t up until this point that we saw just how deep Sara’s love for Ava is and for her legends family- so deep that for the first time, in the face of death, she isn’t scoffing. She’s not making smart remarks or sassing her way through it. Even when she went to purgatory for Ava, the seriousness of it wasn’t there. Sara’s vibe is always just like “I got this”. This was the first time that she realized she didn’t have this. The second she dropped Ava’s hands in the beginning and slightly stepped back after she saw her fate BROKE ME. The fact that she had to keep it to herself BROKE ME! The look she had on her face behind those sunglasses when they were on the bus and she looked up at the ceiling to gather herself after they said co-captains for life BROKE me because Sara knew she was gonna die. That “for life” had a whole new meaning but she couldn’t tell Ava because she wanted them to focus on the mission.

What killed me even more was the fact that Sara had just accepted this as her fate. She just accepted the fact that the legends would go on without her and that Ava would take over and do a fine job. BXTCH YOURE NOT GOING ANYWHERE STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. And then that final kiss. And Ava’s broken little “Sara...” as the zombies were breaking into the room and Sara with a small smile on her face still trying to reassure Ava that everything would be alright, “co-captains for life” ... “always”. LIKE FUK ME! She was still putting on a brave face for Ava. Sara just being so chill about it for the teams sake and Ava’s sake even though we could tell she was terrified did something to me. 

Also when she stepped away from the legends and drank her beer by herself right before Ava came over I was fucking SOBBING! Like she tried so hard to just keep this all to herself because she loves them all so much but I hated that she even fucking FELT this way and had to go through this. And how about that scene when they all are sitting there and Sara says there’s no place she’d rather be. It’s basically her saying “this is how i’m going to die, I’m surrounded by my friends and the love of my life, not bad.” Fucking Sara Lance breaks my heart. 

Also Ava’s scream for Sara as she sees her dying. I’m not ok. I won’t be ok. Don’t fucking talk to me ever again.

I also like Sara telling them to hush when they said Ava was losing it, “shhh she’s thinking!” lmao. Supportive girlfriend <3 Sara has the biggest fucking heart and I can’t get over it. Her love for Ava runs so deep. And her care for the legends runs deep too. Unlike Rip the legends isn’t about her. She doesn’t screw them over for personal gain. And even in the early seasons when she would run off and try and kill Damien Darhk and get revenge for her sister she was always apologetic about it and made amends. She’s just an amazing, amazing character. I know Rip helped them in the end by sacrificing himself but that shit wasn’t consistent. He was mostly selfish and self righteous. Sara doesn’t think the ship and the team revolve around her. (even if we think it does and she’s the soul of the whole thing) Sara acts like a captain when she needs to but she also puts her faith in so many of the other members and she doesn’t think it’s all about her. She makes connections with the other legends she guides them and gives them courage and confidence- they’re actually her friends and family not just pawns in a game like Rip treated them. 

I also really like how real Ava is as a character. Sometimes I feel like they haven’t figured out if she gonna be a full on bad ass, if she’s gonna be scared and fearless like Sara, if she’s gonna be cold and business-like... But I think they’ve been going a route of Ava being unsure but still doing what she has to do. Like we all know Sara is the fearless bad ass one, but Ava will do what she has to do even if she’s crying about it. Ava is me. Ava is us. Ava kind of fumbles and grumbles her way through things and I love it. Because Sara is so sure of herself and Ava’s like ugh honey idk are you sure about this. And then when things go poorly she flips out where as Sara is like ah this is what we do best. lmao. But then Ava will randomly remember that she was a director ;D and get all hard nosed again. She’s literally a muffin. Her crying to Sara during the zombie fight- and not being afraid to show that she’s crying and Sara with a small reassuring smile that says, we got this babe, and Ava finding the courage because of Sara- is literally their relationship. It remind me of when Ava finds out that she’s a clone and Sara has to reassure her that she’s extraordinary and a bad ass and Ava pulls it together. Gosh. I just love the time and effort that they put into these characters. 

Anyway I’m obsessed with Legends of Tomorrow and they continue to bless us. 

[meowsterchief-a]

seriously tho, strange's character arc was set up as him "always needing to hold the knife". so you'd think that by the end of the movie, he'd learn the value of teamwork, letting someone else take charge, gaining a bit of humility maybe. but nope! he's the same at the start of the movie as he was at the end of the movie, there's literally no growth except for his third eye lol

with superteen/america (literally can't remember her name) it's set up that she instinctively uses her power when she's Scared and in life threatening danger. and yet that only happens when it's convenient to the plot, when there were several other instances that could and should have happened. also you'd think strange & co. would like... at least spare Some time to teach her any sort of methods on how to control her power, but nope! that doesn't have until the very end of the movie. she also just like... at the start of the movie she's distrustful of strange because his au self tried to take her power (which would kill her) but her trust, when she gives it, doesn't feel earned. she's known strange for like, maybe a day or two and he hasn't done much to earn trust either. and at the end of the movie when they try to parallel the scene at the start of him deciding to take her power just... falls flat because of it. there's a whole "Trust Yourself" scene where strange tells her to trust herself to use her powers and that Everything Led To This Moment, but there was no build up to that point. there weren't any moments where strange and her had any meaningful interactions that would boost her self confidence.

speaking of that decision... why is wong (or w/e his name is) the one who suggests that strange takes superteen's power to seal wanda away?? like, bruh you literally gave up the location of the Original Evilest Book because your friends (who i though were dead, bc it sure seemed like they were dead) were getting tortured. why would u suggest killing a kid to take their powers... it doesn't make sense. it should've been strange who thought of the decision considering all the build up about him being Dangerous.

also... lol, Wanda. lol, lmao. so she basically goes from bad to worse because she goes from... enslaving and puppeting an entire town to live out a fantasy life to (*checks notes*) trying to take over the mind of an au self so she can be with her kids. and she needs superteen's power because... (*checks notes*) that would make sure she could have access to the multiverse if anything happened to them. because apparently dreamwalking isn't enough. also no one really. challenges wanda's views and motives like "why are you okay with killing a kid and one of your alternate selves so you can be with your kids" and "what if your kids find out about you trying to commit child murder" don't really crop up until the end of the movie. also idk what happened to wanda at the end of the movie, it looked like she made a building collapse on herself so i guess marvel wants us to think she's dead?? she obviously isn't because they haven't milked her character enough so. lol?

also. the main characters trying to find the Goodest Book Of All Good Books for 90% of the movie only to turn around and use a copy of the Evilest Book is just... Huh. Alright. not saying that it couldn't have been an interesting development but like. au strange says that the Evilest Book takes a toll on its reader and yet we don't see any sign of that in strange At All. he just... grows a third eye at the end of the movie. that's it. so apparently u can use the Evilest Book Evarrrr without consequences.

so that new dr strange movie sucked ass