#so like i dont see myself dedicating my blog identity to one thing or brand

[teriiblog]

Sometimes I have an urge to make sideblogs but I never get to them. Idk on one hand I like having my things organized but at the same time... Eh..... Sometime it get confusing.

[sarashafni]

March has been an overwhelming month, so much happened in March, I have no idea where to begin. All I can say is that I’m so grateful to everyone who believed in me and encouraged me to move on and grow in this field. Highlights for March – 2019

Featured Interview with a US-based magazine

Moderator for Dubai Modest Fashion Week, where I got to deal with renowned fashion designers and Dignitaries.

Won Best Fashion Blogger 2019 – By the World Fashion Festival

It’s so hard to believe, how much effort, challenges and sacrifices it took me to reach here, for me, it’s still a dream, and I’m so grateful.

There were so many lessons I’ve learned, from mistakes done, from being naive, and above all not prioritizing my self.

I would like you all to know it took a journey of more than 4 years, to reach this place now, built & designed my own blog, to building the right relationships and learning the importance of ME. Work in a positive environment to bring the best version of yourself.

I used to work for a corporate organization for 10+ years, though I’ve learned a lot from them, I felt stuck, to describe it, I’d say I felt like a bird stuck in a cage, I knew there was much more to me, I had to spread my wings and not be under the walls of the corporate world forever, it was no match for a creative individual as myself, when you stay and work in a static environment, you become stale.. you become the worse version of yourself. It’s always important to be in a positive and appreciative environment. Let go of the negative influences in your life.

Whether it’s your old high school friends, college mates, work colleagues. If you feel they remind you of the past with unpleasant feelings, just let them go, let the excess baggage off your shoulders, the moment you remove all these negative influences you will realize how light you feel, and this will help you to move forward and fly high.

You will also come across people who will only want to be apart of your life when you are successful but were never there when you needed them.

Only stick to the right group of people who love you, and support you genuinely these are the people that should matter to you and be your support system.

Commit to your family time, prioritize your spouse and kids.

The mistake I see a lot of social media professionals do is not prioritizing their family time, but instead would prefer to attend multiple events in a day. This is not important, in fact, I’ve spoken to a few agents and they find it funny and weird how these professionals would do anything to attend events, they do this for validatation from others, which is wrong because in reality no one cares.

Events should be attended when it’s something your passionate about, it should be convenient for you and your family. You’re only doing the brand a favor by filling in seats, they don’t usually care who attends as long as their number is filled. So give time to your family that’s what’s going to last so its best to invest your time on what’s important.

Learn to say NO

If there’s one thing I learned in this blogging journey, its how you should learn to say NO, some brands and agents can take advantage of your services, and try to squeeze out as much as they can from you. While you have to sacrifice your family time or work late so you can keep up with your brands from other countries. It’s not worth it. If you don’t learn to say No in the beginning, they will keep taking advantage of you so its best to draw the line from the very beginning of your work.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Most of us are guilty of browsing through our feed and wondering how everyone seems to have a perfect life or achieve so much. Everyone has a back story, your chapter one would be their chapter 20, you never know what the person has gone through or the challenges they have faced to reach their success. For instance, to now be getting an award is a dream, because I worked so hard, got rejected, got underestimated to reach this point. So don’t compare yourself to anyone, believe in yourself even when no one else does.

Don’t change yourself and your beliefs

I’ve seen many social media professionals change their whole personality, above all their identity just to fit in, which I find highly disappointing. Your identity is your most precious thing to hold onto because its always your uniqueness that makes you stand out of the crowd and be recognized. By throwing off your uniqueness people will never respect you and all you’d look like is an insecure person who has zero confidence. Your identity is precious remembered that! What ever your race, your culture, or your beliefs, You are YOU.

What brands/agencies really see

Most of us think that it’s only if your fashionable or a size zero with a fair skin you’d be respected and considered the elite professional. But no that’s where your mistaken, I do agree there are some brands that are biased and support only certain nationalities according to the region. But most brands I’ve dealt with it, looked at my work, my dedication and the quality of content I put out and ofcourse as long as I was decent looking. That was very surprising to me since I’ve always thought to believe they were always after the physical features first. But no, which is why a chubby brown girl as myself got awarded Best Fashion Blogger, now that’s something to think about.

Invest your time in developing yourself

In this fast-paced world, and social media it’s very important to keep up with the game, by this I mean invest in learning a new skill, Learn about social media tips, or new apps and ways to improve your content. It’s this what matters more than just a photo shoot or looking good. Remember looks don’t last for long, but your work and talent does.

So rather than wasting all your time socializing and attending all the events possible, learn to prioritize and develop yourself more.

Keep a healthy relationship with everyone and ignore the negative ones.

You’ll come across of a couple of unpleasant personalities, learn to ignore them you don’t have time to deal with this, you will notice friends you were close to change and in some cases jealousy takes over as you grow successful, ignore the negative influence instead move on and make new meaningful relationships that will help you grow and become a better person. Learn to make friends with other nationalities, this helps you grow as a person and an opportunity to learn about a new culture.

Never underestimate hard work.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned and truly believe is that hardwork pays off and is your key to success in life. Dont take anything for granted. often when you think you are at the end of something, always remember it’s a beginning of something else. There’s a sea of opportunity out there don’t limit yourself or your dreams, because anything is possible!

For now, this is all I could think of, I hope these lessons I’ve learned helps you in your journey. Let me know what you think, comment below.

Lessons learned through my Blogging Journey!💓 March has been an overwhelming month, so much happened in March, I have no idea where to begin.

[broom-service]

ugh i had to read what he said

P much just going to compile the nonsense being said into one post since I’m now magically unblocked. It’s long.

i cant @ him so if anyone’s wondering it’s about this garbage can of a post

http://altimux.tumblr.com/post/161225497413/apologies-for-this-not-being-under-a-readmore-im

I dont belong in this fandom i have nothing to lose. Besides im fucking sick of the problematic shit going unchecked in this fandom.

You constantly insist that you don’t belong or aren’t in the fandom...but you never really leave........I think the only thing stopping you is your sick need to be creepy and keep tabs on ppl you don’t like.

I have more to say about it than either of you. All you are going on about is hearsay. I’m a motherfucking witness. So sit down and shut your asses up.

This sounds like the cheap knockoff generic brand version of the navy seal copypasta.

You’re about as much of a witness as I was, as you joined the chat after the stuff you’re talking about happened.

You know why im getting involved? This shit has happened before with at least 4 other people and im fucking tired of it.

You’re getting involved because that’s all you know how to do. It’s like you’re only function on this website, man.

You like to weasel your way into situations that result in fallout that you’re not capable of handling. You start shit with people, they get mad, and you backpedal and claim you’re a boohoo sad victim bc people /understandably/ get pissed at you.

You do vindictive, manipulative, impulsive stuff then claim to be morally superior because people react in a way that isn’t nice or “civil”.

You exacerbate everything, stalk people’s blogs looking for any minor slip up or personal post  that you can vague them for because they’re manipulative or something or make a lazy callout post about them, you misinform relentlessly, you’re just relentless in general about being a drama-inducing nuisance.

Maybe if you didn’t leave shitstorms in your wake every single time your ugly fursona finds its way into my activity feed, you wouldn’t feel so unwelcome.

Being accused of something that the person didnt do, and getting bullied out of the fandom. And even if they did, who are they apologizing to? Most of the people in toonblr that were in the chat fucking left.

Well you did say that they joked about incest, clearly not something to joke about and is very apologize-worthy to ppl that had to see something so ugly.

The only people you can get ANY info from are people who hate Pong to begin with. Of course theyd be like “hey yeah theyre into fambly” because it opens them up to being punished.

Ok but why are you talking about this and not them. What does this have to do with you.

Oh wait, it’s because you’re so horrendously consumed by bringing down anyone vaguely affiliated with the drama you started ages ago because that’s all you seem to talk about when it comes to this fandom. You post zero content that isn’t vagues. Right. Moving on.

They could’ve made a post themselves talking about the unfortunate stuff they did in the past, and how it was something they’d like to pretend didn’t happen. If ppl didn’t trust them after, fine. No one should be forced to be ok with it.

But like, at least it would’ve been something.

Just hopping back in but being like “the tag is bad not me” is not the way to go about it, my dude. It’s almost like they’re learning from you.

I hate to get into kinkshaming culture but smth cut and dry. If y'alls wanna joke abt kinks (vore me daddy, etc) without being into them you know damn well its not fair to suddenly say “no even joking about it isnt ok youre disgusting” and then treating the person like they get off to it. Yes there are “kinks” that are illegal and arent ok to even jole about but of all things, fambly doesnt even hold a candle to it. Sure its not morally ok, but this attack on Pong isnt justified.

what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck.

did u just equate vore to being in the same realm of bad as incest?????

i just...oh man. oh man you’re digging your own grave here dude.

just do me a favor and never become a lawyer. please.

On top of that this shit was TWO YEARS AGO. How the everloving fuck do you hold someone accountable of blogging something so old ot would take eons to dig it up. People change in two years. Things they used to approve of they may be against in two years. To punish them continuously for something you heard about is VERY toxic.

You’d know a lot about toxic behavior and never letting things go wouldn’t you?

More on that down below. wink wonk.

I intervened because all that i can see happening is you get your apology and turn them into an example of what happens to toonblrs that are problematic at any point in their life.

No you intervened because you’re self-righteous and are consumed by the need to validate your obsession with someone.

Did they see the post I made themselves? Or were you on one of your nightly “lets see whomst I can make vages about today” runs and happened to see that post and took it upon yourself to relay it to them?

You were looking for an outlet to try and find ways in which I could be seen as problematic because I associate myself with that someone and that (in your mind) would validate how bad they are bc they hang out with bad and naughty toonblrs like me. Or the reverse of that.

But you’re reaching, as usual.

How much do they have to say “they dont approve of fambly” for you to believe them? That they have to apologize to people who only heard about it through others? Would you keep pushing them to bend over backwards? Or no matter what they do you’ll always see them as “a bad influence”

Just call it incest, dude. Keep the weird kink name shit out of this lol

And if they said “Hey guys I don’t approve of incest, also I’m back and a good person jsyk” I would’ve believed them.

I don’t see that as bending over backwards.

But then you had to go and do......all this.

And if Pong were to ignore you,

That shit is manipulative. Thats why i intervened. The only people that have the right to request an apology are people who were in the chat. Or is someone using you as a puppet? ;)

I can request an apology if I damn well please.

And no I’m not a puppet like...calm down dude. There’s no insidious plot made by the toonblr elite to get you and your 4 fellow former toonblr trash boys that are the only ppl that like your toonblr-related vagues.

In any case its you guys who should apologize to them. Theyre just trying to exist in the space like you are. Not only do you have no right to bring up old shit, you dont have the right to request an apology when all the information you have recieved is distorted by the biases of the people around you. Fuck off, @broom-service and @minglermail​

I’m not apologizing for anything lmao

and keep Pom out of this. They don’t deserve to deal with ur nonsense dude.

Sincerely, the “king of not letting things go”, the former mun of toon-sirshade two years ago, and current mun of @toon-cream.

Omg !!! Secret identity revealed!!! It’s almost like I worded my responses safely knowing that you, a garbageboy stinkman, would post them publicly. 

Like you, I have nothing to lose from this. I’m not the type that’s going to like....write a sincere apology and delete because shade “This Is None Of My Business But Now I Guess It Is” stinkman posted a private conversation that I went out of my way to make civil and bland as possible.

PS: vague culture is cowardly bullshit. Either talk to them or call them out.

You’ve built your identity on vagues, dude.

AT LEAST DELETE THEM BEFORE U MAKE SUCH A STATEMENT, MY GOODNESS.

thats a vague u took from a reblog blog owned by a person that is extremely uncomfortable with your stalking.

but yknow you just keep creeping on them anyway. relentlessly.

another. still stalking.

and my personal favorite one you made about me

remember when u said i was racist for making a character out of my own culture that u know nothing about?? im not gonna assume your race like you did to me but hoo boy this is a very white tumblery thing to do.

like sit the fuck down yourself dude.

God this is what made me loathe you, man. I could’ve looked past all the shit you started before but like????? You knew NOTHING about the character bc I hadn’t posted her story, NOTHING about me and my heritage, yet you just go and try to find any reason to make me seem like a shitty person.

you were planning on making a callout post as if that would’ve made me look like the bad guy, but as usual, everything you have to say has no substance and you only do things to get a reaction out of people.

and you acted so tough like ur callout was going to make me delete or something omg

jesus fucking christ i was trying to be civil but this makes my blood boil.

There are other characters people have made with strong ties to a cultural identity, and their creators haven’t gotten shit for it.

I know you targeted that character because I’m the one that made it, not because you care about racist caricatures.

It’s not a racist caricature. I based her on pictures of my fucking grandma’s outfits that she wore when she took trips to Mexico to visit her grandma. I’ve worn those dresses and those braids myself. You have no fucking clue how much that shit means to me. You’re just a sick, sad person hunting through a blog dedicated to technicolor animals just to make me look bad.

No amount of “misinformation” that’s been spread about Pong or whatever will compare to how much you’ve spread about other people or the paranoia (not even using that term lightly) you induce by your constant stalking and harassment -- however indirect it may be. Maybe you should apologize for calling me racist, rather than asking for an apology for someone else out of a misplaced and false sense of justice.

I really think you need to take a step back and try self-awareness for once.

[eurolinguiste]

When I discovered the online language community, my first impulse was to think, “I’ll never be able to do that.”

As I explored the community, I realized that there were so many incredible polyglots and learners, and to be frank, it was intimidating.

At the time I spoke English and French fluently, had studied German and Italian and was starting to get into Croatian. I no longer learnt languages at school and I was trying to figure out how to do the whole ‘independent language learning’ thing. So I turned to the web, having felt as though I hit a wall.

And comparing myself to other learners only made me feel even farther behind.

Comparisons are tough. They’re arguably one of the biggest reasons we find ourselves unhappy in our pursuits. And even if we aren’t making those comparisons intentionally, we’re constantly measuring ourselves up against our peers. And it doesn’t help that others are constantly comparing us too. It’s not uncommon to hear things like, “Your the next XYZ” or “You make me think of ABC”.

And sometimes, even when those comparisons are meant as a compliment, they still can be frustrating.

THE FIRST STEP TO DEALING WITH COMPARISONS IS TO STOP MAKING THEM YOURSELF.

It’s easy to think something like “Oh, well he’s doing that because he’s so much better than me,” or worse, “Why is he doing that, it should be me!”

But neither of the above are good thoughts to have.

Imagine this scenario: You’re reading your favorite language blog and you see what another learner – with about the experience as you – is doing. In comparison, it seems your life isn’t quite as noteworthy. They are constantly traveling, seeing exciting things and you begin to feel like you’re not doing enough. Maybe even that you’re not good enough. You see posts about other language learners attending language conferences, meeting with your polyglot heroes, getting awesome endorsements and begin to wonder why you’re not.

How can you be motivated and happy about your progress and what you’re doing if you think that way?

If you’re working hard on your language learning and focus on yourself, you might not think that way. In fact, you’re likely too busy or focused to think like that.

But even then, you might feel those thoughts creeping in. Sometimes learning just happens differently or more slowly for different people. Why? Because of the word I just used twice in the previous sentence. You’re DIFFERENT.

The sooner you accept that opportunities will happen for you in their own way and at their own pace, the sooner you’ll be able to accept and appreciate your accomplishments. Be happy with what you’ve achieved and do what you can to avoid comparing yourself to your peers!

DEALING WITH COMPARISONS MADE BY OTHERS

A big part of dedicating yourself to, well anything, is creating your “brand”, your identity, or what sets you apart. It’s what makes you different and gives you a place in the industry against countless competitors (at least if you’re pursuing a career that involves languages). Being told that you write like or teach like another language learner can make you feel like you’re doing it all wrong. You thought for sure that what you were doing was unique!

But the reality is, you’re probably not.

People are wired to make connections and comparisons so that they can better understand and validate their interests. We all do it. Have you ever found yourself thinking that a complete stranger looks like a friend of yours? That’s pretty similar to the comparison someone is making when they tell you that you write like someone else. It’s typically meant as a compliment and it’s sometimes their way of validating the reasons that they like you. Or it’s just something that’s done to make an introduction or situation more comfortable.

DEALING WITH NEGATIVE CRITICISM

As a language learner, it can be difficult to put yourself out there. Especially when you’re still ‘learning’. There are so many talented polyglots and sometimes you can’t help but feel like you’re ‘competing’ with them. Plus, it doesn’t help that the Internet has numerous people who aren’t too shy when it comes to sharing their opinions on any material that ends up online – good or bad.

You can try to shield yourself by blocking the comment features on your YouTube videos or social sites, but without the positive or constructive feedback you might receive, it’s hard to gauge where you’re at.

Comments can be one of the best ways to learn how to grow and improve if they are honest and shared with good intentions, but they can also become an easy venue for discouragement and hurt.

Especially when you see your peers getting tons of encouraging comments on their work and it only seems that the trolls seem to find you. When it comes down to it, you are unique and no one will ever be able to do what you do the way that you do it. If you are getting something out of the experience of learning a language, it doesn’t matter whether or not other people think what you are doing is good enough.

We all learn languages for different reasons, so keep that in mind! Share what you’re doing, find your own voice when sharing what you do and as a part of the language community. If you are coming from an honest place (that of doing what you really and truly love), then the positive feedback will come.

It’s easy to get sucked into worrying about whether other people are impressed by what you’re doing, or even if they think that your accent is understandable or your choice of words correct, but you have to remember that you’re doing the best that you can. Worry about what everyone else thinks later.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t please everyone. There will be people who don’t like what you’re doing. Those who thing you just speak this language or that language horribly. But that is just their opinion. And it isn’t worth the energy and misery that comes with trying to make everyone happy.

Here are just a few ways to make any criticism or trolling a bit easier:

1. Be brave enough to ask for things – ask your friends or other members of the language community to comment on your content. They can help drown out the noise of one negative voice.

2. Perfect is impossible – think of what you create as a “snapshot” of where you are at in your life. You can always do something better later on, but with that mentality, you’ll never accomplish anything. Do what you can now, but always seek to improve for the future.

3. Laugh at your own expense – when you make a mistake, laugh about it and then move on. You’ll get it the next time, so don’t worry about it for now. Plus, these mistakes show you just how far you’ve come when you look back on it later down the road.

4. Discover who you are, what you are passionate about and how you can share that positively with the world. Don’t just try to become a copy of someone else. You’re you and we’d love to get to know you!

DON’T GET SUCKED INTO PLAYING THE COMPARISON GAME

So whenever you hear someone tell you that you remind them of so and so, say “thanks“! Even if it’s not exactly what you want to hear, it very likely was meant as a way to compliment your abilities.

In the rare case that you’re compared to someone in a way that’s intended as a negative critique, “oh you’ve become just as commercial as so and so”, try to find out exactly why the comparison was made. If it’s something YOU feel you can improve on or change, then figure out how you can do it better the next time around (if you feel you agree with the criticism offered).

But never change what you’re doing if you’re just trying to please everyone else. You won’t ever win with this approach.

If people want to be unhappy with what you’re doing, they will find a reason for it no matter what you do.

Negative criticism is never easy to deal with regardless of the form it takes (comparison, insult, etc.). So when it happens, do whatever you need to do to filter it out. It’s usually just noise.

There is constructive criticism, but the difference between the two is usually quite obvious. Here are examples of each:

Negative criticism:

This post is just trying to get people to click on affiliate links.

Constructive criticism:

I really enjoyed your post on this, but at a certain point, it just felt like you were trying to get me to buy something. I liked that you used to offer advice for free, but now you’re trying to sell me things as hard as this other blogger.

One just insults you and the other offers a way for you to reevaluate your strategy. (And yes, these are real comments I’ve seen or received about my writing!)

So when it comes to comparisons, learn to focus on yourself for who you are and what you’re doing. Don’t focus on yourself in comparison to others. Enjoy the process of learning language and sharing the process and learn about yourself as you’re doing it.

If you keep working at it and loving it, you’ll continue to grow and improve, and everything else comes second to that.

Has anyone ever compared you to another language learner or blogger?

Tell us about your experiences in the comments below!

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