#so kindness is vital. and realizing i didn't have to ignore that little girl changed my life. probably saved my life.

[giantkillerjack]

maybe if you didn't ignore her, she wouldn't need to yell so much.

not to get all sad for no reason but something nobody tells you about growing up is that a part of you is just a little girl who is yelling ‘please like me please love me please tell me i am good’ at everyone you meet and most of your day is just trying to ignore her

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If Bella was somehow bitten somehow and woke up alone during New Moon, but the Cullens didn't find her (I don't know if this is still 'Edward mercy kills Bella' territory but if it is then maybe her gift knows this and starts blocking Alice) and she became a nomad, would she still do the diet and if so for how long?

This is shockingly in the realm of possibility and not necessarily in the land of Edward mercy killing Bella.

Though there are some dangers Bella would have to avoid somehow for survival.

Bella is Bitten Alone in New Moon

We have one vampire who meets Bella during New Moon and another who with very little difference in the timeline would have run across her: Laurent and Victoria.

In the case of Laurent, he and Bella have a chat, he decides Bella smells delicious and he'll spare her the pain of being slowly murdered by Victoria, and just as he decides to go for it he gets run down and eaten by giant wolves.

Bella survives her vampire encounter.

In the case of Victoria, she never really gets close enough to do damage until the fight between Edward and Victoria and Riley and Seth in Eclipse.

So we have a few ways this could go:

Laurent's a few seconds ahead of Sam and company. He manages to get a good bite in and doesn't crush Bella on impact. He's run off by the wolves and Bella survives.

The problem here is that Bella has now been bitten and there's no coming back for her. It's a tragedy, and the wolves will feel a shared sense of failure and burden that they failed to save her, but she's dead anyway. They have to kill her before she fully turns.

Bella's gift, while powerful, doesn't appear to help in this kind of situation. Though, that said, in her dire need it could suddenly give her the ability to project illusions like we see in Renesmee. Doesn't seem to be how Bella's gift typically rolls, but hey, this is her darkest hour.

Otherwise, Jake could pull his alpha move much earlier in order to save Bella's life. He ignores Sam's order, flees with the turning Bella, and dumps her in the wilderness somewhere with a note from Jake that she must never return to Forks. She wakes up alone, only guessing though not knowing what Jake has done for her, and stares blankly at the wilderness.

If Victoria catches up to Bella, well, it's not looking good. All too likely, Bella dies painfully, and Victoria leaves a video tape of the entire ordeal in the Cullen house for when they eventually return (as they surely will).

Though, that said, the ease with which Victoria accomplishes this and the complete lack of Cullen intervention could catch her off guard. Perhaps... Edward doesn't actually give a rat's ass. That says terrible things about James' needless death, but Victoria's holding this girl hostage. She will die, in the most painful manner imaginable, and the Cullens aren't there.

Victoria might turn Bella out of pity or else turn her as she figures out, in part from Bella, that Bella becoming a vampire is Edward's worst case scenario. However, in that case, it's unlikely Victoria would abandon Bella, so Bella wouldn't be on her own.

Which, I think for this post, makes Jake's alpha sacrifice the most likely path. He dumps Bella's half-vampire body somewhere in nowhere Canada.

Bella After the Bite

Being dumped in the wilderness helps a lot. For one, Bella already has unbelievable control, for another this is Edward's penguin scenario. There is no one else out here for her to eat even if she wanted to.

So, following the diet is easy.

And it's something she'd very much wish to do. Bella sees the world of vampires divided into two types of vampire: the good Cullen vampires who don't eat people and the bad vampires who, well, eat people.

This left such a mark on Bella that she has very little idea of what a vampire even is.

Bella would be horrified at herself if she became a bad vampire. In wanting vampirism she wanted the vampirsim she sees in the Cullens. Bella might be miserable and alone, without a friend in the world, but she would be horrified to choose anything other than the Cullen way of life.

At least, at first.

The Return of the Cullens

There's a few paths for Bella after she's dumped in the middle of nowhere.

Alice sees that Bella's become a vampire, an abandoned newborn, and is wandering aimlessly around the wilderness somewhere. Even though Edward has forbidden contact, this is probably enough to motivate Alice who was genuinely worried.

She likely goes behind Edward's back and tries to find Bella with Jasper and possibly the rest of the Cullens.

Edward, of course, is still in Rio being a miserable saint for leaving precious human Bella.

Eventually, they manage to find her, and there's a lot of miscommunication, very hurt feelings, and heartfelt apologies even from Rosalie because look what happened to this poor girl. Though they each, either reluctantly or more enthusiastically, agreed to leave this was not what they had in mind.

Bella forgives them quite readily, as she did in canon, because she has the self-esteem of a thimble. The Cullens are awed and very grateful, Rosalie would never have forgiven them for this.

It probably takes them both a) a while to decide how best to tell Edward and break the news to him b) a while to get a hold of Edward because he's ignoring all their phone calls.

Eventually they do, it's a shit show, for the purpose of this post we'll say he does not mercy kill Bella. He might actually be feeling too guilty for that. Instead he grovels on the ground constantly, begging Bella's forgiveness, and refuses to enter a relationship with her because he's unworthy.

This undoubtedly upsets Bella, because she's also unworthy and Edward knows it and doesn't love her, but that's not the point of this meta.

In this world, the Cullens keep Cullening after picking Bella up, Bella's adopted into the fold and made Edward's twin sister due to looking the most like him (which, of course, makes them look actually incestuous in high school to add to the Cullen mystique).

With the support of the Cullens, living the Cullen lifestyle, and having the control that Bella has there's no question of ever leaving the diet.

Bella stays on the wagon.

Bella Seeks Out the Denali

Alice is successful and doesn't see Bella's future for whatever reason. Edward will be so proud. Bella is left alone in Canada to eat moose.

Eventually, Bella decides that however great being a vampire is, she's lonely and miserable. She wants companionship.

Well, obviously the Cullens hate her, so even if she could find them they probably never want to see her again. But what about the Denali?

Bella's already in Canada, she could head over to the Denali National Park in Alaska, and surely the least she could do is actually introduce herself.

Of course, the coven sounds blonde, hot, aggressively female, and very intimidating. Tanya's history of wanting to bang Edward has Bella feeling very small and worthless. More, the Cullens may have told the Denali all about how stupid and ugly Bella, Edward's current human girlfriend, is and they've all laughed at her.

However, Bella's so desperate for companionship, for some connection back to her old life, that she goes for it.

She makes it to Alaska, wanders around until she eventually finds the Denali coven, and introduces herself. The Denali are weird assholes, but Bella's so oblivious she actually doesn't notice.

That said, they've had their brush with the law, and Tanya doesn't want a newborn running around by herself. Eleazar also gives a truly pompous, awful, speech about compassion to their fellow man. It's unbearable, Bella finds it charming.

They take Bella in, she can be the dark-haired sister. Her control is so good the three single ladies quickly take her clubbing and encourage her to sleep away her troubles with human men.

Bella quickly finds that, when you're on the vampire end of the equation, the relationship with human thing is kind of gross. These people smell like food, are squishy and overly warm, and have the substance of tofu.

Bella feels even worse about her relationship with Edward.

She sleeps with human men anyway so that the Denali sisters won't judge her/will think she's cool.

They're so proud of her.

Regardless, Bella stays on the diet as the Denali follow the diet. She will likely have a few accidents with her human lovers, and will be inconsolable, but the coven will be there to offer comfort and help her get back on the wagon.

Bella stays on the wagon

Bella's Low Self-Esteem Wins and She Becomes a Hermit

Bella can't return to Forks and she's so ugly, stupid and boring that even though she's a vampire if she met anyone new they'd realize how ugly, stupid, and boring she is.

Better to just forsake society altogether and live with moose.

Bella's able to do this for quite a long time. Years even. And it's... fine. But her life has no purpose nor any direction to it.

She becomes tempted by society. How many years has it been? Has the world changed since she left? Has Forks changed? Is Charlie still alive? Is Renee? What about her classmates?

Bella starts travelling and visiting human cities and, thanks to her control, she does very well.

However, it's very likely that one day she'll slip, she takes her control far too much for granted and all it takes is one mistake.

And that's where Bella starts getting into trouble.

She's horrified at first, of course, and that likely doesn't break her. She gets back on the wagon, but the second time it happens...

There are no consequences to her breaking the diet. She has no companions, no one cares. Why is she living in constant agony, every single day, for people who will one day die anyway? Why is Bella choosing to suffer?

As time goes on, as humans start to mean less and less to her and all the humans that she knew when human herself are dead, Bella starts forgetting the reason that the diet seemed so vital to her existence.

At one point, it stops meaning anything at all, it's just Bella pointlessly choosing to live in agony.

Bella falls off the wagon.

TL;DR I think it'd take a while, at least ten years, but if she becomes a solitary nomad, it would inevitably happen.

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: Good morning, how are you? Ava: 😊 All the 🌞 for hearing from you Ava: how are you, James? James: I'm happy to hear that James: meanwhile I'm busy, but unfortunately not solely with hours dedicated to missing you, which is in itself dangerously close to a regret Ava: I know what you mean Ava: the universe doesn't allow nearly enough opportunities for pining at open windows or reflective musing whilst staring into bodies of water, or mirrors, depending on the mood Ava: impressive you can think up any beautiful words in such circumstances Ava: what are you busy with? James: I can't remember the last time I looked into a reflective surface that wasn't a kitchen appliance, but considering how few hours of sleep my present universe allows, that's perhaps for the best James: there is only so much a caffeine fuelled bloodstream can produce and therefore no new paragraphs of the novel are forthcoming either James: I'm steeping your in disappointments to begin your day, I'm afraid James: and you're not the only one, as what I am overwhelmingly busy right now is cancelling plans Ava: I'm sure I'll survive them all though Ava: as you will the lack of sleep and caffeine jitters, with a bit of help Ava: what can I do? Ava: Which is to say, what plans are worth keeping cancelled, and which ones should be salvaged from the ❌🗑 James: all I am left with are the activities which I cannot bear to erase from the schedule, therein lies my dilemma in its entirety Ava: Lay it on me Ava: two heads are better than one James: she is supposed to be here & isn't, which is of no surprise to me & wouldn't be of any consequence if I were capable of being in two places at once James: but I am not, nor do I have words to spin this into a story that doesn't end with a child having even less routine or structure when what she wants is more of both Ava: Right, and naturally, she's left it too late to contact any grandparent to be a stand-in? Ava: is it something I could do or not? James: I did try my mother but her reaction to being asked to enter the swimming baths was as hilarious as it was unhelpful Ava: I can imagine Ava: if that wasn't a waste of imagination James: I should have foreseen that they'd end up sharing the same unwillingness to get their hair wet Ava: but swimming caps are so fetching Ava: 🙄 James: of course James: & it's entirely about them, not the children's enjoyment Ava: or that swimming is actually a pretty vital skill Ava: you think people who like to spend so much time doing water-adjacent activities, yachting, sailing etc, would realize said importance but half my friends can't swim, only take the poolside pictures Ava: but seriously, if you think they'd be okay, I'm happy to keep watch on whichever kid would be more agreeable with me doing so James: Jay loves swimming, but I'm sure she'll outgrow it & prefer to pose apathetically on a lounger in designer sunglasses given a few years & the force of my wife's will James: that's how things work in this universe Ava: Not everyone is like that Ava: and your wife's will can be broken by the horror of damp hair, it can't be that much of an unstoppable force James: her will isn't the one being tested, but point taken Ava: No, I know Ava: I bet none of her yummy mummy friends take their kids though, do they? James: all of her friends have foreign au pairs that they barely have to financially compensation for raising their children full time Ava: so Ava: we can pretend I'm your enthusiastic...Swedish is perhaps a little too cliche Ava: Dutch? Ava: au pair James: what language do you actually take in school? James: they might hypothetically try to voice their complaints to you & expect you to respond in kind Ava: Such a shame the obligatory Latin won't come in handy, as per with dead languages Ava: I take French though, some of them might be Swiss James: it's inconsequential really, I can't ask you to help me when I haven't even asked what your plans are Ava: I offered, you didn't ask Ava: and I wouldn't have offered if I was busy with anything of consequence James: yes you would Ava: Nothing in my life is that important, not currently James: this isn't important to you James: & it doesn't have to be Ava: It's a life skill, like I said Ava: I don't mind doing it James: what am I supposed to say? Ava: if you think it's a bad idea, it's not like I'll be offended or anything silly like that James: it isn't that it's a bad idea Ava: What is it? James: it's that I feel bad, if this is what I can offer you James: because ours isn't supposed to be a sob story & it seems like I've only started a conversation with you to file my complaints Ava: it's not all you can offer me Ava: or all you do Ava: you have responsibilities, plenty of them, I knew that before Ava: and it's not a negative, even with it meaning we spend more time missing each other than we'd like James: it is however painfully stereotypical, 'my wife doesn't understand me' & so on Ava: well, yes Ava: at least you aren't alone in that pain Ava: 2/3 marriages, isn't it James: you're not supposed to be a sounding board for my mistakes, or hers, is all I'm trying to say Ava: I don't feel like one, I promise James: I just wish we could exist independent of this James: but there's no way not to feel equally as bad for wishing for a different world as I do for dragging you into this one Ava: I know Ava: but that wouldn't be a real world at all Ava: it could only exist within the pages of the novel Ava: it'd be perfect but James: I know that too, all of it James: ignore me, I'm tired Ava: I couldn't if I wanted to Ava: and I don't Ava: maybe you'll find a lilo to catch some 💤 on James: sadly I'm not taking any of you swimming at the villa Ava: You would have to tell me if I needed my passport as well as my swimsuit James: one day Ava: yeah? James: if you want to Ava: I don't need to pose apathetically in another sun lounger Ava: but of course, I'd like to be anywhere with you James: you won't be, that isn't even the hypothetical holiday I have in mind James: you know I want to experience things with you Ava: Then we will Ava: and it'll be much more than a photo opportunity James: okay, good Ava: Where would you most want to go together? James: I don't know James: but I like snow Ava: We can work with that Ava: top of a mountain, maybe James: that would be an undeniably good photo opportunity Ava: okay, so the view doesn't count 😅 James: I'll be relying on that, taking mental pictures is all well & good for now but you're a very lovely view Ava: oh 😌 Ava: you're lovelier James: no, you're impossibly beautiful James: all I can do is my best to put suitable description to it Ava: you're just Ava: I want to help you today Ava: but it's undeniably a bonus that I will get to see you James: I'll make some time purely for you James: I don't know when, but as soon as I can Ava: I'll take it Ava: whenever it is James: there's a chance I can use my mother's unwillingness to help me now as a insistence to do so later Ava: potentially Ava: promise her hair won't get wet, that'd be a start James: thank you, I'll open with that Ava: ��� Ava: there must be something she'd like to do with them Ava: that won't also be entirely torturous for them, because certainly counterproductive James: I'm not sure there is James: but at the very least she's capable of feeding & putting them to bed Ava: then I can do the same for you Ava: more or less James: by then, it'll be my turn to do something for you Ava: which would you rather 🛏 or 🍽? James: it's not my decision, it's yours Ava: I'll cook for you James: I think that's wise Ava: I just want to see you, we don't need to go anywhere unnecessarily Ava: my place is often empty James: I'm happy to hear that in this instance, because of how much I want to see you too Ava: It has its perks Ava: you can take as long as you like putting me to bed, also James: can I? Ava: Yes Ava: I very much hope so James: I don't think you've anticipated how long I would like to spend doing so James: in a perfect world Ava: in this world Ava: we can go to bed very, very early, so you'll still be home by the time you need to be James: & if I don't need to be anywhere else, can I stay? Ava: yes Ava: you can stay as long as you can James: I'll try & stay until we can say good morning face to face Ava: I'd really like that James: me too Ava: You make me smile, you know James: I look forward to seeing it, should traffic ever allow Ava: Oh, I could've got myself there James: I know but I want to spend as much time with you as possible, just in case James: it's already been highlighted how unreliable all of my childcare options are & just how dependent on ridiculous whims Ava: I'm not going to complain, trust me James: you'd be entitled to, when you see how much energy these girls have compared to me James: they make me appear a level of exhausted that I haven't yet reached, honest James: it's horrifically unjust Ava: If I know anything about having kids, it's that any complaint I might have doesn't even register in comparison Ava: and you're still beautiful, even if you're very, very tired James: in theory possibly, but actually, your every sound & silence registers with me Ava: in that case, I'll make every one count James: I believe you Ava: not that I promise my words will be as good as yours Ava: that would just be foolish James: I don't doubt your vocabulary either, you're extremely eloquent & capable whatever the circumstances James: a very worthwhile skill in a protagonist Ava: you could make me the swooning type and it'd be valid Ava: perhaps not very likable or inspirational though James: unless you've changed your mind about seeing me, I don't have the time for such a drastic & unnecessarily out of character rewrite James: there aren't enough hours in the day to finish the saga, never mind turn us into the next Bella & Edward James: what a great disservice that would be to you anyway Ava: That would be so out of character, I couldn't possibly, we'd find ourselves in the same situation regardless Ava: and whilst I'm happy to miss you and do some pining for the cause Ava: I'll be happier to see you, of course Ava: no need to exile yourself to Italy, though I can see the pluses of that for you/Edward James: not to mention, the age gap is already enough of a potential concern Ava: at least you aren't re-doing high school for the nth time Ava: that would be alarming James: there's an argument to be made that I should Ava: if you picked a better school, maybe James: at the top of a mountain, perhaps Ava: yes Ava: though, distracting as you would be, I wouldn't be mad at an excuse to see you every day James: there is nothing more distracting than the thought of the blush of your cheeks in the cold air, which is what I'm considering right now Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I'm going to have to be cool when I see you, aren't I James: yes Ava: okay Ava: then I better compose myself James: such a heartbreaking sentence will never make it into the final draft Ava: it's okay, I like swimming James: you'll enjoy it when I can promise you a hot spring Ava: I'll love it then James: I hope so Ava: I will Ava: but I could be anywhere with you and feel 🌞 James: I can't help but feel as though this swimming lesson will put that to the test Ava: screaming kids are nothing Ava: I'm 💪 James: you can have the baby then, there's more heavy lifting involved Ava: alright Ava: I can do that Ava: she must be like a little 🐠 James: she looks like one with her 🐠 hooded towel on Ava: that's adorable James: [sends her a picture from a previous swimming lesson of that adorable bub wearing it because that's not cheating evidence Chlo, we're safe] Ava: Bless her Ava: she's precious James: you'll do fine, she enjoys a compliment Ava: I feel that James: well, it'd be amiss if I didn't flirt with my au pair & we don't want any raised eyebrows Ava: Exactly Ava: got to play your role James: if there was ever one I was seemingly born to play Ava: you don't want an actual au pair? Ava: not for flirting purposes, obviously James: I'm not allowed one, for flirting purposes or otherwise Ava: Ahh Ava: I see James: yet another cliche Ava: you shouldn't need one Ava: she doesn't work, right Ava: or uni, or anything James: of course not, but we would hypothetically need one because, as you just highlighted, she doesn't do anything Ava: yeah Ava: maybe you could find a man Ava: or a really unappealing woman James: I'm not handing her someone else to sleep with, least of all someone who's supposed to be busy watching the children James: & I don't think a woman unappealing enough exists given that my imagined track record clearly surpasses the actual Ava: and it would just be cruel to force any queer guy to be her built-in gay BFF Ava: 🙁 James: oh god, that would be the cruellest fate imaginable Ava: couldn't wish that on anyone Ava: I just Ava: wish I could help more long-term James: all you have to do is be here, that is helping me both short & long term James: more than you know or I could feasibly let you know Ava: but you can try Ava: and I will very much enjoy you doing so Ava: later James: I miss you James: I want you to know that now Ava: I miss you too James: I'll be there soon though, whether or not that helps or makes the feeling worse for you Ava: we'll see Ava: at least I can let you know 💬 James: I'll take my own opportunity to compose myself before you do Ava: 😇 James: 😈 Ava: it will be hard not to be James: it always is Ava: yeah Ava: one day, you won't have to be James: but this morning, I'll try to please everyone Ava: and you will James: you're the 😇 darling Ava: but you are very, very good Ava: you should know, I want you to James: thank you Ava: you're 🥇 James: I will only accept the accolade if I can share the honour with you Ava: you're too generous Ava: you deserve it James: so do you Ava: nah, not really James: yes really James: I don't deserve you happening to me James: I'm in awe of everything about you, Ava Ava: That's not true Ava: you deserve me Ava: and a lot more besides James: irrespective of the difference of opinion, I don't want anything more than you Ava: anything? James: what could I possibly desire more than you? Ava: you're Ava: are you nearly here? James: yes, but I can take some kind of impromptu detour if you'd rather the answer was no Ava: I can definitely compose myself again Ava: becoming quite an expert James: which is why you deserve a 🥇 James: I know how difficult it is to do Ava: at least we share in it Ava: that makes it, not easier but at least worthwhile James: still, I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for you Ava: it'll help when I get to see you in the pool Ava: or make it a lot worse in a kinda fun way, anyway James: oh James: I haven't stopped to consider what you're going to be wearing for this Ava: It's probably best you don't Ava: forget I said anything James: hm, what you're done is, you've essentially guaranteed I can't & won't Ava: it's okay, you have the whole ride there to think about it before you really need to concentrate James: except I meant it when I answered yes to being nearly there & as soon as I am, time will speed up as it tends to do James: around you there are just never enough moments Ava: I miss you before you've even got here too Ava: no amount of time seems suitable James: I'll write us days, weeks, months & years but there's every chance you'll still feel cheated by it Ava: that's just life isn't it Ava: there's no time for half the things we want to do, but we have to carry on in earnest anyway James: the fraction alters from person to person, depending on the life lived & what gets prioritised but I don't believe there's anyone satisfied that they've experienced enough of anything they still want Ava: right Ava: the best you can hope for is doing some of it and having no regrets about if you could've done any more with your allotted time James: in not doing regrets, I'm halfway there Ava: could be worse James: I'm aware it could also be better, don't worry, I won't make you say it Ava: who's couldn't though James: anyone I care about, if the 🖋 were mightier than the ⚔ or indeed intentions counted for more than words on paper in the 1st place Ava: good intentions might not exactly be doing good, but it's still much better than doing bad James: they might also be dangerously close to a fool's errand but I've definitely made a fool of myself for a lot less Ava: I think its noble James: do you? Ava: Yes Ava: of course Ava: I mean it, really mean it, when I say I think you're lovely James: it's just that I'm not used to hearing it James: give me days, months, weeks & years Ava: Done Ava: the only reason I'd stop was if you wanted me to Ava: even then, I might try again, a few more times James: I have no intention, be it good or bad, of stopping you from doing anything you want to Ava: as long as you want it too James: even if I don't Ava: I wouldn't want that James: give yourself days, months, weeks & years James: the point is, my limitations aren't yours, you can do whatever you want & I won't be something that prevents you Ava: I'll still have time and space to say and mean it, whoever I am, because it will still be true and you'll still deserve to hear it James: okay, I'll work on accepting that James: but I make no promises about getting that work done during this particular car ride James: nonetheless, if you're still willing to, you can get in Ava: [come through gal, say hello to them babies] James: [depending where we're putting this on the timeline it could be the first time you have] Ava: [very well could be, Jay just like whaaa] James: [she's like new phone who dis] Ava: [just like I too wanted to swim so I'm coming with, is that cool?] James: [cue excited chatter about swimming and all the other sports and activities she likes because she's a sporty bitch from cradle to grave hence her personal trainer future] Ava: [just taking an interest like your own mother never, so rude] James: [I like to imagine the baby joining in by making excited sounds like she's trying to chat too] Ava: [just replying like yeah girl, same, like you understand] James: [I love it when that's a thing] Ava: [so do babies] James: [already better with her than her actual mother is] Ava: [sad but true] James: [we know the bar is that low, no shade Ava we also know you'll be an amazing step mum and mum so] Ava: [but seriously, we aren't being that extra rn that would be weird, we're just being not shit lol] James: [exactly dr phil and we know this swimming lesson will go great cos I'm only gonna be evil after and not let him get away to spend the night with her cos forever rude] Ava: [that's real and fair] James: [you lowkey don't get to have anything you want rn lads it's just the era we're in] Ava: [true tea, can skip to that] James: the later we wanted is going to have to happen moreso than we thought James: I'm really sorry James: I've tried everyone, both my siblings even Ava: Oh, okay Ava: that is a shame James: It's not okay, you were wonderful earlier & I James: well, I'm hardly that, unless we're giving out marks for effort in the last hour Ava: I'm definitely counting it Ava: if it can't be done it can't be James: not tonight Ava: then it's, not okay but just a fact Ava: we'll find time James: what are you doing tomorrow, maybe we can find some time then? Ava: I'm going to another Uni taster day thing James: which uni is it? Ava: LSE, so I will be about the day after on James: & you'll tell me what you think of LSE when it's over, right? Ava: Of course Ava: it's 1st for journalism but I'm not sold quite yet James: the tour might swing it for you if they take it more seriously than the one I gave Ava: I happen to be fond of the tour you gave, thank you very much James: Yes, The Vault will forever hold a special place in your heart Ava: Exactly Ava: be swinging by whether I'm alum or not 😏 James: I'll bear that in mind should I ever need to find you Ava: you only have to ask James: or whistle, not your namesake's immortal line, but I'm sure it'd be effective Ava: I have two, should you ever like to try again James: I'll bear that in mind as well Ava: Are you named after your dad, or granddad? James: II not III Ava: might've skipped a generation, if he was feeling particularly ruthless James: that would be a fun anecdote, but no Ava: that's a shame Ava: how do they pick the second boy's name James: I assume my mother just named Teddy what she would have named me if my father's ego hadn't got in the way Ava: that makes sense James: how they chose me sister's name would be anyone's guess, were it not stolen from the royal family Ava: surprised they'd commit the faux pas Ava: never have you 'round now, very awkward James: or very much a relief Ava: Poor Charlotte is pretty awkward looking James: looking like your grandmother can go one of 2 extremely different ways James: the more greats you add, the more you're rolling the dice Ava: 😅 Ava: at least there is some mystery in that Ava: no prizes for guessing who I come from James: but hand on heart I can profess to being thrilled that neither of my daughters resemble any of their grandparents Ava: they look like you James: Jay does Ava: yeah, moreso Ava: little ones change so much James: yes, she's an unfinished work Ava: that's a good way to put it James: it's better than being a shelved one, as I am Ava: I can deploy tiptoes if necessary James: thank you for what will be a cherished mental image Ava: it'd be cuter if I was smaller but in relation to you James: you couldn't be any cuter, in relation to anyone Ava: I'm glad you think so James: of course I do Ava: no of course about it Ava: you're totally gorgeous yourself James: first you're comparing our heights & now follows the rest of our attributes James: it's okay, I'm sitting down Ava: well I'm glad to hear you're getting somewhat of a break Ava: I'm just saying, it was still very unlikely, if not star-crossed James: you don't think we looked right together earlier? Ava: I love how we looked James: is there a but coming? Ava: only in the sense I wish it wasn't such a predictable cliche scene around here Ava: but it's neither of our faults that employment is seen as an actual form of flirtation by some James: it was a convenient excuse, I couldn't have wished for more than that under the circumstances Ava: I know Ava: it did the job James: if you want to come again, we know it works Ava: do you think I'll be invited back? James: I don't see why not Ava: I did okay then James: you did better than okay, we're all in agreement here Ava: good James: you haven't been worrying about this since you left, have you? Ava: not worrying Ava: but I don't want to mess that up, so I'm glad I didn't James: I understand, but I meant what I said about being in awe of you, you know James: this wasn't any different Ava: You really do always know what to say Ava: I know it was only swimming, but I'm glad they got to go James: well it's obvious that you always know what to do because you were perfect James: I was worried I shouldn't have agreed to you coming with us, but I'm glad you did James: they would've missed out for no reason if I'd panicked needlessly Ava: it wasn't needless panic though, you were left properly in the lurch Ava: and on paper, does not sound like the best idea James: I'm used to that, but less used to us existing off the page, particularly when it isn't just the two of us James: I asked you what you thought about how we looked, but it's something I try not to think about Ava: because of what other people might think Ava: or because you don't like the thought James: because of everything about my life that makes it difficult for us to be an us James: & because of your age & theirs Ava: You aren't that much older, even if your life means you have to act it Ava: but I understand Ava: thinking about it too much makes you think it might only ever be a nice thought, a daydream on the page and in our heads James: I know but Jay is 6 & you aren't old enough to have a child of that age James: which is why you don't James: I can't help thinking about that Ava: Well, yeah, I don't get having kids, there's no denying that but I'm not trying to say I do Ava: most people your age don't have kids either James: of course they don't, that's the thing, there's not an excessive age gap but there is a huge discrepancy when it comes to our lifestyle Ava: I know James: I don't want to alter yours, that's all Ava: You aren't just going to Ava: my lifestyle is up to me James: okay, just don't let me rewrite you Ava: you won't Ava: you don't want to, and I won't let you Ava: don't worry, okay James: I'll try not to Ava: it's needless, we can use that word here instead James: it's only a worry because I like you exactly as you are Ava: those aren't your words, sir James: do you only accept original speeches? James: it's very much a sentiment that applies to you and how I feel in this instance Ava: as long as you stick to the classics Ava: Mark Darcy, Edward Cullen James: an easy promise to both make & stick to Ava: then I'm happy Ava: 😊 James: I'm happy to hear that Ava: I like it when you're happy James: I'm happy with you Ava: good Ava: that's a good start Ava: we'll see each other soon, but maybe we can call before then James: I'd like that James: when? Ava: whenever you can Ava: I'm going to have a quiet night in James: as soon as I can then Ava: perfect Ava: what are you doing now? James: everything you would if you were my actual au pair Ava: Awkward when I am just a pretty face James: you're not but you're also not on my payroll thankfully because that would be more awkward James: what are you doing? Ava: making some dinner Ava: then I'll see how long I can make a bath last, I reckon James: are you making the same thing for yourself as you were going to make for me? Ava: I would've made you something special James: you've earnt special too though Ava: I'll do a different kind of special then Ava: comfort food James: I normally can't stand compromises but that admittedly sounds like a lovely one Ava: aren't compromises key in kid negotiations though? James: I think that depends what kind of parent you are Ava: and you're the structure and routine, so you're the boundaries and rules that aren't up for discussion too James: whether I wish I could just give in sometimes or not Ava: you're the love too though Ava: you can tell they both adore you James: for as long as being everything doesn't wear me down to nothing, I'll keep being exactly what they need me to Ava: does anyone help Ava: like, give consistent help James: her parents are the closest I've got Ava: sounds really fucking stressful James: it was easier with one Ava: yeah Ava: now you're outnumbered James: & everyone helped more when Jay was younger because we were too James: I'm expected to know what I'm doing by now Ava: don't reckon anyone ever does though Ava: cop-out response, I'm aware but genuinely Ava: it's just everyone has the responsibility of fucking up their own kids James: every child is different & I'm not remotely the same person I was either James: an additional cop out response but true anyway James: the way I handle things now, or don't, is a world away from how I coped then so James: new challenges Ava: well, I can't say about then Ava: but you're nicer now than lots of dickheads 'round here that wait 'til they're 30-40 odd to have theirs James: thank you Ava: whatever missteps, having a parent that's a decent person is an advantage lots of kids don't get James: are yours? Ava: yeah, I think so Ava: like, they aren't storybook parents and they never have been that type, they're too fucked up for that Ava: but they did and would do anything for us, nothing we could bring at them would be too much, and my siblings have definitely put that to the test in recent years James: storybook parents tend to lead you into the woods using a trail of breadcrumbs or do nothing while you're placed under a curse anyway James: which sounds more like the school of child rearing my parents would subscribe to Ava: oh you're right Ava: the ones that aren't dead are usually terrible James: I need to write some better bedtime stories once the novel is finished Ava: you'd be perfect at that Ava: I can tell Ava: you can turn me into whatever animal sells best but it better be cute or I won't be able to help being slightly offended James: you'll be adorable & clever & kind, of course James: the good ideas can come from your animal counterpart as they always do from you when you're yourself Ava: very 🦗 Ava: she likes 🐕 a lot though, and I can handle that James: I was considering a water creature because you love swimming & are intending to be in the bath as long as you possibly can James: perhaps 🦦 Ava: see Ava: you're amazing at this Ava: that would be so cute James: you haven't seen the pictures yet, an amazing artist I am not Ava: we'll get you an illustrator James: male or unattractive? Ava: I'm not your wife, I don't need to make those sort of stipulations James: strictly hired on their ability to draw an adorable 🦦 it is then Ava: 👍 thinking James: [I was thinking he should send her some totally beautiful and expensive pudding because she said comfort food so that needs to arrive before she's in the bath otherwise that'd be annoying instead of sweet] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: how am I ever going to thank you? James: oh good, I thought you were say you didn't like it James: *about to Ava: I love it Ava: how are you just as sweet Ava: it's ridiculous James: it's ridiculous that I can't see you for days at a time James: I want you to know that you're in my thoughts more often than that Ava: if she knew how lucky she was, none of this would even be an issue, that's what's ridiculous Ava: but I'm sort of glad she doesn't Ava: selfishly James: she isn't lucky to have me, that's the obvious issue James: because to say that we don't work as a couple or aren't sweet to each other is an oversimplification Ava: did you ever? James: no Ava: I'm sorry James: I don't deserve any sympathy, I haven't always tried very hard Ava: It's still sad James: It's sad for them, I'd like to think that maybe one day they'll describe me as 'fucked up but...' as you did your parents though James: I'd happily settle for that Ava: I don't know how thrilled they'd be Ava: but there's not really a higher compliment so Ava: as far as goals go, it's a good one James: realistic goals are the only way forward Ava: I'll drink to that James: 🥂 since I can't actually Ava: I'm just eating my pudding, obviously James: very amiss of me not to send you 🍾 as well James: noted Ava: Shh Ava: it was perfect, you are Ava: there's always enough 🍾 'round mine to bathe in, should I feel so inclined James: I remember Ava: yeah Ava: I remember too James: I won't ask you to fill in the ensuing gaps in my memory, don't worry Ava: I tried not to pay that close attention, naturally James: 😇 naturally Ava: Hardly Ava: Buster was just pretty embarrassing James: I remember that as well James: though I took the 👑 in that regard so there's little room for me to say anything Ava: you aren't my brother so I guess it didn't really register James: it may have more closely registered had we stayed friends, I suppose Ava: He didn't stay, period James: precisely Ava: 🤷 James: if he had & we were still friends, there wouldn't be a you & I so Ava: depends how good friends you were Ava: think you'd have to be much better than you were, right? James: it would be an added complication regardless & there are more than enough of those Ava: very true James: no offense to your brother but I would rather have your company than his Ava: 😂 I should hope so James: you could improve your ⚽ skills but James: Jay'll help you Ava: Slander Ava: I could be semi-pro, you don't know 😏 James: 😂 Ava: I'm not though, don't want to get anyone's hopes up here Ava: definitely come back to bite me if I try and impress you with my dribbling skills 🙄 James: I won't wait for you to indignantly explain the off side rule to me, it's okay Ava: we're both better than that cliche James: I hope so Ava: besides, I have ZERO interest in being a sports journalist thank you Ava: not putting that out into the universe James: or a WAG presumably Ava: not unless he has an interesting personality to go with the ball control James: some of them must Ava: probably be better going with a female player but I doubt they're girlfriends go in for the WAG label Ava: not invested enough to champion it solo James: it'd be a slightly less stereotypical existence Ava: except every lesbian is either a footballer, cop or farmer James: I'll have to take your word for it Ava: yes, I'm very reliable James: well I'm sorry, you can't be the novel's narrator Ava: I like your words too much, that's fine James: you're too kind to me Ava: no James: yes James: because it's another failing of mine that I can't get inside your head in order to write those words Ava: I like when you tell them to me Ava: with your voice James: can I call you? Ava: yes James: [does and I vote it lasts for hours and hours because they are cute and high key] Ava: [agreed]

[brokemultidotexe]

Life in the Fastlane

Pairing: Racer!Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Street racing wasn't something you wanted to experience until your roommate dragged you to one. You end up realizing that it's nothing like the movies and that the bad boys can be the ones with the biggest hearts

Word Count: 5.5k

Warning: None

Genre: Action(?)

Part: ONESHOT

You glanced at yourself in the mirror. Jimin had managed to push you out of your comfort zone for tonight. You had promised Jimin last month that you would finally go watch him race. The fact that it was illegal didn't sit well with you but you eventually gave up that argument after watching Jimin’s face light up when he would talk about it. Since the cheating boyfriend fiasco, you hadn't been smiling much and that's how you ended up here in black skinny jeans that were just a little too low and a little too tight. The shirt was too low for your liking and hugged your curves and while this wasn’t something you would normally wear it was hard not to admit that you looked hot.

"Y/N get your sexy ass out here, it's time to go." You looked at the clock, it was already eleven o'clock. You took one more look at yourself in the mirror.

"It's only one night." you told yourself, "we're doing this for Jimin."

"Y/N!"

You jumped at the sudden yelling. You grabbed your phone and license; you didn't want to carry a purse. You walked out of your bedroom and could see Jimin standing by the door with his arms crossed. Of course, Jimin was just dressed in a fitted t-shirt that showed off just how nice his body was and some ripped jeans. It took a lot of arguing for you to agree to wear this after Jimin claimed you would stick out like a sore thumb and everyone would stare at you. You weren’t one to welcome attention so you decided to follow your best friend's advice.

It took all of thirty minutes to get there. You hated Jimin's bucket seats in his car and it felt odd having the back seat completely gutted. Jimin pulled up and parked into a line with a bunch of other cars. It honestly looked like an independent film version of Fast and the Furious that was close to reaching the end of their budget. She snorted at her own thoughts and Jimin raised an eyebrow at her before getting out of the car and walking around to the front of his car. You soon followed and walked up to Jimin and you leaned your hip against the front of Jimin's car.

"So, what now?" You looked around and there were about thirty to forty people mingling, some were drinking others weren't.

"Well, I have to find Yoongi and give him my share." You watched Jimin pull out a wad of money. You learned awhile back to not ask where he got that kind of money. "Will you be okay by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Yeah." Truthfully, you didn't want to be left alone but you also didn't want to look like a lost puppy following Jimin around. You watched as Jimin left and you folded your arms across your chest and looked out over all the people. You felt so out of place but you found this group of people oddly interesting. It was like watching a family reunion or something. Your eyes roamed your surroundings and fell on the building behind everyone. You saw the letters sprawled across it Kim and Sons Auto Shop.

"Well, I haven't seen you around here." You looked to your left and saw a guy with a hoodie and noticed his eyes looked at your body from top to bottom. "You must be my divine intervention for the night." His voice made you roll your eyes.

"I doubt it," you said dryly. You weren’t in the mood to deal with anyone; you were here for one reason and one reason only. To support Jimin and then get home and binge watch Netflix until you passed out.

The guy raised his eyebrow and took a step closer, "I could get us out of here, take you to my place nearby and give you a night you won't ever forget." He ran his hand down the curve of your side resting on her hip.

You scoffed, "You've got a hand, which I can promise you will be the only action you'll be getting tonight."

"You've got a mouth on you, I bet-"

"Jeon!" You watched as the guy turned around. Your eyes went to the guy walking over to them. The guy was in ripped jeans, combat boots, a white shirt with a button-up shirt opened over it. You were jealous of the guy's boots. If only you could afford a pair that nice. The guy pulled the guy's shirt causing the guy to stumble away from them. "The girl is out of your league Jungkook, you want a level playing field go grab one of the whores congregated around hyung."

"Screw you Hoseok, the girl can make her own-" You watched as the guy grabbed Jungkook by the collarbone and roughly pulled him towards him to get him off balance and then turning and kicked his back causing him to stumble away from him. Jungkook glared and cursed at Hoseok but he was unphased by it. Your eyes were wide watching the exchange between them.

"Why don't you get one of the whores to go nurse that injury?" Hoseok said as Jungkook walked away with his hand rubbing his back. Hoseok turned and held his hand out to you, "I'm Hoseok."

You shook his hand, "Y/N." You peeked over Hoseok's shoulder to see Jungkook heading back over to the group of people you saw before.

"Ignore Jungkook, the punk thinks he's God's gift to women when he’s on something. From what I've heard though is that God shortchanged him in a vital area." You found yourself laughing, "So are you here by yourself?"

Just as you were about to answer Jimin walked up, "Okay, we're good now. I wanted to take you to meet-"

"Yo Park!" Jimin turned around and smiled. You watched as they fist bumped and Hoseok swung his arm over Jimin's shoulders.

"Y/N, meet Hoseok." Jimin looked between his two friends with a look of hope.

"You can call me Hobi." Hobi smiled, "But we've met, Jungkook tried to lure your girl home."

Jimin laughed out loud, "I would have loved to see him try." he looked at Hobi, "Are you racing tonight?"

Hobi rolled his eyes, "It's my turn for flags."

Jimin laughed and Y/N was confused and apparently, it showed, "flags are the flag or makeshift flag that you bring down at the line for the race to start. Unfortunately, Hobi here picked the short straw." you laughed as Hobi grumbled.

"Actually, since I'm not racing tonight I was wondering if you could take a peek under my hood. I don't want Yoongi sniffing around, he'd probably change out a part to help him win."

"Why would some random guy come sniffing around your car?" you asked and the looks you got made you embarrassed by your question.

"Yoongi is Hobi's brother, he runs the races." you made an o shape with your mouth and nodded.

“Adopted brother, but he’s still my hyung.” You could see the underlying affection he had for his older brother despite the normal sibling annoyance.

You turned at the sound of a deep voice carrying over the crowd, "Alright, we've got four racing tonight. Taehyung and Jin just radioed back and the roads are blocked and ready to go. Get your shit and let's roll!" The small crowd cheered and you looked back to see both guys looking excited.

"That's my cue." Jimin gave Hobi a fist bump and turned to give you a hug, "See you at the finish line" he winked and you watched him walk away.

"You ready to see how we live?" Hobi smirked.

"Let's do this." Hobi cheered and you laughed to yourself but followed Hobi as he led the way into the sea of people. You walked through and you saw all the different types of people. You could see why Jimin fit in here.

"Tae! Jin!" Hobi grabbed your hand and dragged you over to two guys.

"Yo!" They both smiled at the guy, "Jimin tells me you drew the short straw tonight."

Hobi gave them both the finger before turning to you, "Y/N this is Tae and Jin, they work here at the garage with my brother."

The guy that looked like he should be on the cover of Vogue shook your hand, "Ravi de vous rencontrer" you gave him a small smile before you dropped his hand. You could see Hobi rolling his eyes.

"We need to go; otherwise Yoongi will start bitching at me." Hobi started walking towards the cars and you followed. Once Hobi broke through the crowd you saw four cars lined up behind a spray-painted line. “I bet he rigged the straw pull so I would have to sit out for this race.” You glanced over at Hobi and laughed.

"Someone say my name?" You looked towards the voice. Your eyes raked over his body. From his stark white hair to the plain gray t-shirt. You could admit to yourself that he was hot.

"Yoongi this is Y/N, Jimin's friend that he’s been talking about." Hobi smiled at his brother.

"Ah, the infamous hermit." You felt your face heat up. "Glad you could join us rebels tonight." Yoongi winked at you and you just raised an eyebrow.

"So, are we ready?" Hobi asked.

"Nah, Jeon showed up bitching about his back.” He glanced at Hobi before continuing, “but serves him right with the way he goes for girls who are spoken for while their guy is here." Yoongi shrugged. "He went inside the shop to lay down." you could see Hobi looking smug, obviously proud of himself.

"Hobi you said you wanted me to look under your hood right?" Jimin was walking towards what you assumed was Hobi's car.

"Wait, why is Jimin checking under your hood? You're here every day. I mean fuck you work here. I could have done it yesterday." Yoongi had his arms crossed.

"Because I'm so close to leaving your ass in the dust, and who knows what you'd pull," Hobi called over his shoulder leaving you alone with Yoongi.

"Nice best friend you have."

"Nice brother you have." you challenged which caused him to raise an eyebrow at you.

"Well aren't you a spitfire."  You rolled your eyes, "So what did Park have to do to drag you out here? Steal your books? Hold your laptop hostage?" you didn't say a word, all you had to say you could express with your middle finger. Yoongi smirked, "Is that an offer?"

You felt your face grow hot and you looked over at Hobi and Jimin, who was already under the hood. "So, when did all of this start?" you found yourself asking.

"What do you mean?" You just twirled your finger around motioning to all the people and cars, "Oh, it’s pretty much been the same group of people for a long time. Park is probably the newest member. Your boy has skills, I'll give him that."

"So, are you racing too?" Yoongi nodded. "So how much is riding on this race anyway?"

Yoongi shrugged, "Not a lot, about three grand."

"Three thousand? As in dollars?" It felt like your eyes had actually bulged out of your head.

"What else would it be in? Monopoly money?" his chuckle irritated you.

"How is that not a lot of money?"

"Races can easily get up to at least eight grand on a good night. I guess I don't really think about it being an obscene amount anymore." you were speechless. Was he out of touch with reality? Because you could never imagine eight thousand dollars not being a lot of money and you came from a very well to do family.

"Alright let's get this over with" a voice behind you made you jump and she saw Jungkook make his way towards his car not even sparing a glance at you, but you could see him limp just a little bit.

Yoongi laughed out loud "You look like shit Jeon."

"Fuck you!" Jungkook got in his car and Yoongi called out to Hobi to round up everyone. You just stood there as everyone started moving towards the lineup.

"Hey stay here, if you have any problems just yell for Tae or Jin" You nodded hearing Hobi yell over at you and you watched Hobi give you a wink from across a few cars as he walked out in front of the cars. He waited until everyone was in their respective cars. It looked like it was going to be Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi. You didn't know what to expect but you jumped hearing all the cars start up. Hobi pointed to each car and each revved its engine. You assumed this meant that they were ready.

"Hobi, use your shirts!" You turned and saw that Jin was the one yelling as he stood up in his truck bed. Hobi gave him the finger but took off the button up shirt and held it up. You chewed on your bottom lip, your stomach was doing somersaults. You were nervous and excited all at the same time, you had no idea what to expect. You watched as Hobi raised his shirt over his head using it as a flag. He held it there for a few seconds before bringing it down. He crouched and turned to watch all three cars shoot off the line and down the road. It didn't take long before all three cars were out of sight. Hobi stood up and walked towards you your hair windblown but donning a huge smile on your face.

"Awesome isn't it?" You couldn't help but smile with him. The guy’s energy was contagious.

"So how long does the race normally last?"

Hobi shrugged, "Depends who's driving, but with hyung it's normally about four or five minutes."

Y/N didn't know if that was slow or fast, but it sounded really fast. Your eyes stayed on the street as Hobi explained that the track would loop all the way back around to here so they didn't have to go anywhere. They just had to sit and wait. After a few minutes, Hobi bit his lip and bounced on his feet.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just that normally we start picking up the cones now from the roads so the cops are less likely to get called. Tae asked me to go with him because Jin went to get food because he had the munchies."

"Go ahead, you can go. I'll be fine." You waved him off.

"You sure?" you watched Hobi chew on his bottom lip.

"Yeah. Go." You watched as Hobi gave you a smile and told you that he'd be right back. You just stood there watching for the cars, it felt like forever but you were sure it was just your eagerness to see the end of the race. You watched Jin’s truck pull out onto the road with Hobi sitting on the side.

You were bouncing on your toes the anticipation was killing you. "COPS!" You spun around looking and everyone was splitting up and jumping in cars. You could hear the sirens off in the distant. You didn't have a car, Jimin was your ride and you had absolutely no idea what to do. People were pulling out and you didn't know a single person. Everyone you knew was either racing or gone.

You saw a black car screech to a stop in front of you. The door flew open, "Get in!" before you had time to even make a decision your body was in the car and pulled away fast enough to throw you back against the seat.

You looked over at Yoongi. His face was hard with concentration. Your heart was still pounding in your chest. You never expected cops to show up, yet the adrenaline had you on a high that you had never felt before. You found yourself smiling and eventually found yourself laughing.

Yoongi turned his head to look at you, "You think this is funny?"

You couldn't catch your breath but you were waving your hands and shaking your head no. But your body was betraying you. You couldn't stop the tears from forming in your eyes from laughing. "I'm sorry." you tried to get a grip of your giggles, "I've just never been through anything like that." You were trying to take deep breaths between each attempt talk. "I honestly don't know why I'm laughing."

Yoongi smirked, "It seems the hermit experienced her first adrenaline rush."

Your eyes widen seeing a cop car pulling towards the center of an intersection, "Yoongi!" your hand went to his arm and Yoongi's attention shot back to driving and your breath hitched in your throat as Yoongi whipped his car to the right. The back of his car barely missing the cop car as he shifted and pushed the car even faster straightening them out.

"Y/N you can let go now," Yoongi said through a clenched jaw. You looked at her hand and immediately removed it. He had nail marks on his arm where you were gripping him so tightly.

"I'm so sorry!"

Yoongi laughed, "Its fine. Normally when I get to feel nails digging into me, it's on my back while I'm fucking someone."

You scrunched up your nose at his narcissism, but couldn't ignore the skip in your heartbeat. You leaned back watching Yoongi navigate the streets with ease, but you could still hear the sirens which kept you from getting pulled in at watching Yoongi drive.

"Does this happen every time you guys race?" Yoongi shook his head.

"Nah, I mean it happens every once in a while, but we try to keep it as low profile as we can. Tae and Jin set up traffic cones at some intersections that cross into the route we take. But sometimes the cops come looking, that's why we have radios." He motioned to the one sitting in his cup holder, "If anyone sees the cops coming everyone knows to get out fast. Everyone has their own place they go so they don't follow one another and end up with all of us if they manage to follow us."

You bit your lip, "Has anyone ever been caught?"

Yoongi's mouth thinned. "Namjoon, he um" He cleared his throat, "He flipped his car taking a turn while running. He was okay luckily, but they ended up taking him in. They gave him a deal, he could tell them what he knew about our club and he'd only get six months. He ended up telling them to go fuck themselves which ended with him serving a year." Yoongi was concentrating on the road but you could tell he could probably navigate these roads with his eyes closed. "He gets out in three months."

It made you worry about Jimin racing. You didn't know what you would do if your best friend ended up in jail. Yoongi looked over at you. He didn't say anything but after a moment put his attention back on the road, "If you're worried about Park don't. He's a great racer, probably better than most of the people that have been racing with me for years. He'd be able to ditch them easily. While his car doesn't have as much power as mine it can turn a corner on a pinpoint. It's actually pretty impressive." This made you beam with pride.

"So where exactly are we going?" You had already gotten lost after about the ninth turn.

Yoongi smirked, "We're almost there."

You looked out the window. You had been driving around for about a half hour and managed to get far enough to where they no longer heard sirens about fifteen minutes ago. You weren’t sure just how far the location he chose was. Your ears perked up once you heard the crunch of gravel under the tires. "Seriously where are-" your question was cut off when you saw his headlights shining over a lake. "This is where you go?" you looked over at him and you watched him shrug as he came to a stop and turned the car off. He unbuckled the seatbelt and got out of the car. You followed and had your hands wrapped around you as you walked towards the water. The moon was reflecting on the water. You really wanted to take a picture of it with your camera because the scenery was absolutely beautiful.

"You know I've come out here quite a few times and I've never met a single soul. I like to think this means that no one knows about it." You watched as Yoongi walked over to an old picnic table and sat on the table propping his feet on the bench. He waved you over, "Come on we've got some time to kill before we meet back up."

You walked over and sat on the table. You barely knew this guy and here you were in the middle of the night by a lake. Like that wasn't weird or anything, but you didn't feel any uneasiness. You actually felt very comfortable around Yoongi. "So, what got you into racing?" you looked over at him. His elbows were resting on his knees as he looked away.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer that." Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment of possibly crossing the line with someone you just met.

Yoongi was shaking his head, "No it's alright." He cleared his throat and sat up resting back on his hands. "So, I've known Namjoon all my life, he lived right down the street from me and Hobi. It wasn't exactly the best neighborhood and after a few fights, Namjoon’s dad started inviting me over. He would have both me and Namjoon working on cars with him until it got dark. It kept us out of trouble and me and Hoseok didn't exactly have a father figure. Eventually, he started tagging along once my mom picked up her second job. So, all three of us would be over there and he would teach us everything he knew about cars." Yoongi smiled, "He always loved the fact that Hobi constantly kept the mood happy and bright. But the three of us never outgrew our love for cars, even after Namjoon’s dad taught us everything he knew. We all took auto shop in high school and it was a joke because we had already learned everything they were trying to teach us. When it came time to start thinking about college's we knew our mom couldn't afford to send us. A cousin had told Namjoon about racing and how his brother made decent money. So Namjoon and I started building a car together while we worked full time that summer, I gave my mom what I could to help but the rest went to parts. We built that car from the ground up and by the end of the summer we were finally able to race."

You were completely engrossed in his story, "So I'm assuming you won your first race."

Yoongi laughed, "Oh hell no, the engine stalled after the fourth turn. We had to roll the car home." He looked over at you, "But we learned what worked and what didn't. Eventually, we started winning and each time we won Namjoon would refuse his share, he told me to put it towards Hoseok’s college fund. My mom never found out, she thought we both got great scholarships." You couldn't help but smile with him. "I managed to get a semester out from graduating before I dropped out."

"Why?" You weren’t expecting that.

"Namjoon’s dad got really sick and Namjoon was still in college and was on an actual scholarship. His dad needed help in the shop and I knew he wouldn't ask any of us. So, I told him I graduated early and that I'd help him in the shop until I found a job. This man single-handedly made sure that both Hoseok and I stayed out of trouble and brought us into his family, and you don't walk away from family. So, I started working there full time. The pay wasn't an issue, I made enough racing that it covered whatever his dad couldn't afford. Eventually, he got too sick to come in, so I took over until Namjoon graduated." Yoongi shrugged, "I never really thought twice about my decisions. Eventually, his dad passed and Namjoon got the shop, I guess even though things changed I didn't. I never left and went back to school. I stayed and helped Namjoon run the shop and once Namjoon got arrested he asked me to take over until he got out."

"So does Hobi work at the shop?"

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, he works there when he's on breaks and sometimes during the week."

You smiled, “I guess a family that races together stays together."

"Eh, kinda. I never wanted Hoseok to start racing, I did everything I could to make sure he never had to."

"Are you still helping pay for his schooling?"

Yoongi shook his head chuckling, "No, he pays for it all on his own. We fought for the longest time about him racing. He'd come with me so I guess part of it is my fault; I mean I introduced him to all of it. He has an actual scholarship now; he races because he wants to. We fought for months about it; I wanted him to concentrate on school. Eventually, he told me he was going to race and it could either be with our group or he'd go find another. I knew he'd be safer with me than anywhere else, so he races and I get to deal with his smug smile every time he wins." Yoongi leaned up and brushed his hands off on his jeans, "What about you? You're practically the exact opposite of Jimin from everything I hear. How did you two end up roommates?"

You laughed, "That's actually a funny story."

"Go on." He motioned her with his hand.

You rolled your eyes, "So I applied out here in my senior year of high school because I wanted to get as far away from my mother as possible. So, freshmen year I get assigned my dorm room and I get Jimin's cousin as my roommate. We hated each other, I wanted to concentrate on my studies and she wanted to do every possible thing she could to drive me insane. Anyways, we both start dating around the same time; things get easier because we're never there at the same time." You glanced over to see if he was still listening. He seemed genuinely interested in your story, so you continued. "This goes on for almost our whole freshmen year until eventually his cousin is kicking him out of his room and he’s forced to bunk with me because he had nowhere to go. As time went on we ended up getting along closer and getting more personal with our talks. We're two months out from summer break and come to find out me and his cousin have been dating the same guy who happened to be Jimin’s roommate. I had never been to my boyfriend’s dorm so I never knew who his roommate was and when we did talk he always referred to Jimin as his roommate."

Yoongi started laughing, "You and Park didn’t realize this from the beginning? Wow, now I get why you two are so close."

You stuck your tongue out at him, "Jimin basically ended up being my roommate because I guess his cousin didn’t care about the cheating and refused to give Jimin his dorm back. He helped me heal my broken heart and practically disowned his cousin for being a dumbass and being a bitch about the whole thing. I almost told the guy I was pregnant just to make him suffer a bit.”

Yoongi groans, "oh my god." His face goes into his hands, "I know the guy is an asshole but damn, that's brutal." But you could tell he was having a hard time not laughing.

"Well, I didn’t do it!."

He shook his head, "Girls are crazy, like batshit fucking crazy."

"Careful, you're out here with a crazy girl in the middle of the night with no one in sight with a lake to toss a body in." You raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned closer, "I'd love to see you try."

You continued to talk until Yoongi checked his phone. You could see his mouth frown in the glow of his phone screen. "I think we're good to head back now, I'll drop you off at your house."

"Okay." Yoongi helped you off the table and you got into the passenger seat while Yoongi held the door for you. He came around and got in starting the car.

"I think Park is going to kill me." You were about to ask why when your eyes fell on the time glowing from his dashboard. You had been out there for almost three hours.

"I think you're right." You ran your hands over your pockets, "Shit. I don't have my phone."

"I know." Yoongi looked at you and you groaned.

"I'm so sorry! I promise I'll shield your body if he comes out waving a knife." Yoongi laughed and you shot him a glare.

"I'm sorry but I just can't imagine you taking on Park." you raised an eyebrow, "What? I've seen Jimin lay out a guy double his size because he leaned on his car." You couldn't help but laugh.

It took about ten minutes until he pulled up to the small house you and Jimin shared. You heard Yoongi groan, "What?" He pointed to the car parked on the street.

"That's my brother’s car and I don't feel like facing the Spanish Inquisition. So, I think I'm going to do the most un-gentlemanly thing I've ever done and tell you goodnight from the safety of my own car."

"Oh, that's fair; send me in there all by myself."

"Exactly."

You rolled your eyes but you opened the door and got out. You almost closed the door but stopped and bent your head down so you could see him, "Thanks for saving me tonight, I actually enjoyed myself."

Yoongi leaned over into the passenger seat and looked up at you, "So does that mean we'll see you again?"

You bit your lip and smiled, "Possibly." Yoongi raised an eyebrow but smirked at you which caused you to roll your eyes, "Goodnight Yoongi."

"Goodnight Y/N." You closed the door and walked up the rest of the driveway and turned the doorknob and walked in. You saw two flashes of black hair and a pair of eyes glaring at you and Jimin was up and rushing at you before you could move.

"Where the hell have you been!? I called you a million times! I thought something happened to you!" Jimin was swatting at you over and over again as he talked.

"Ow ow ow! Calm down! I didn't have my phone!" You were rubbing her arms; you forgot how hard Jimin could hit.

"Yes, I noticed once I heard the buzzing on my floorboard!"

"I'm sorry okay! Yoongi stopped and picked me up." You really did feel bad about making your best friend worry. Jimin hadn't even popped into your mind once the car had stopped which didn't make you feel any better.

"That doesn't take three hours Y/N!" You could see that Jimin was slowly losing steam which was a small victory.

"In my defense, it took like a half hour to get to the lake."

"No, it doesn't." You looked at Hobi sitting at the table with his foot propped up on the chair, "It takes like ten minutes to get to the lake from the shop."

Jimin spun around to look at Hobi "You knew he was there?" he yelled.

Hobi shook his head, "No, I knew he had her. But we don't tell each other where we go. We don't want the other one to come in trying to be the hero" he shrugged.

"Then why did it take thirty minutes?" You were so confused.

Hobi smirked as he took a drink from his glass, "It seems to me he wanted an excuse to spend time with you."

AN: This has been sitting around for a while and I felt like finishing it up quickly because who doesn’t like the thought of a racer!Yoongi. Hopefully, you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. It hasn’t been looked over to look for mistakes because my fingers are tired and I still have to write tags lol.