#so kian's sheet next

[alinelie]

I was bored yesterday night, so I made character sheet for victor 😋

kian's sheet

[bubblegumflavor]

Put them together to see how they look and I think they look about fine together? =) Kian and Jamie! <3 (Maybe I keep his og name as a middle name so I can keep it somehow? XD)

Next I wanna make a hair and features sheet for both of them so I know how they look from all sides.

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – a little freedom

the kim family’s music store is sort of like a second home.

well, maybe that’s not really accurate. that feels too...permanent, for someone that doesn’t really even have a first home; doesn’t even know if home exists. it’s just a saying. he likes it here. that’s what matters.

everyone is friendly and knows his name and kian’s family keeps inviting him over and he keeps politely declining because despite the amount of therapy he’s been to, it’s still hard to accept help–– or kindness, really ––from anyone. normal, loving families make him uncomfortable, at no fault of their own whatsoever. whenever he sees decent parents with a happy child he feels both relief and envy at once, because they don’t have to experience what he experienced. that’s great for them. not so great for joomi, but what’s done for him is done now, and he tries not to think about his parents too much anymore. he just quietly hopes his mother is still alive and reminds himself that he was their responsibility, not the other way around. they failed him, so in the end, he owes them nothing.

thankfully, most of the time, when he’s in this music store, he doesn’t think about any of that. he browses the instruments and talks to familiar faces he runs into; looks at sheet music to steal ideas and checks to see what kind of cds and records they still sell in this digital age.

this time, he also checks around for anything that might benefit his new band, still in the works. he’s planning ahead, though, for future shows and rehearsals, because he’s determined to make it work and for someone that is rarely enthusiastic, he’s excited about this. he is, of course, not the most confident in his ability to head a band. it’s not just performing with most of the spotlight on him, but booking shows, directing the other band members, leadership; everything. he figures the performance can’t be any worse than anything he did on next gen, so he can at least do that much, and the rest...he can learn on the job, right? he can do it.

there is one very special thing he’s at the shop for on the band’s behalf; make that a special someone. he’s been, for lack of a better term, shopping around for people to join the new band, and he’s pretty sure kian is high on the best possible candidates for a bandmate list. joomi knows he’s incredibly talented. he can probably fill any role in the band, and he’s also incredibly kind and eager to do...just about everything he does.

joomi is a little worried about exposing him to the scene though. kian is also quite innocent and a bit naive. it’s not a bad thing; it just might be bad if he wants to safely join a punk band and remain safe. it’ll be a big responsibility for joomi to look out for him, but the pros outweigh the cons. he can’t resist at least asking. 

he strides up to the counter, nothing but some guitar picks and guitar strings to buy, but he’s happy to see kian behind it. “hey. i was hoping i’d see you,” joomi says with a close-lipped smile. “do you want some small talk about what we’ve been up to or do you want me to jump straight to what i have to ask you? nothing bad.”

* –– @kianbe

[kianbe]

when noel mentions next gen, kian smiles at him; feeling wistful.

the rest of lime entertainment's trainees competed on the show at some point, but it was never an opportunity he could take advantage of. in a way, he's glad that he was able to go the "old-fashioned" route by auditioning for the company and earning his spot that way, but all at once, it feels somewhat isolating when the rest of the project green participants have that one shared experience that bonds them together. sometimes he feels like he's on the outside looking in, but he tries not to let it get to him. he'll get to know them better slowly, but surely.

"m'glad you're not letting your feelings about the songs get you down!" kian exclaims, raising a thumbs up. "my brother primed me for this, though. he's an idol, too—different company—and he warned me that i'll likely be forced to work on music i'm not a fan of, but what's good about it is that you expand your range as an artist." he pauses, his smile widening. "'keep your mind open' is what he always tells me. he's not always smart, or nice, but i think it's good advice!"

with that, kian lets out a laugh; rolling his eyes at the thought of his older sibling. "it's my pleasure to help though, and i agree. you've improved a lot since i met you!" hopefully it doesn't seem rude that he's saying this to his senior, but he figures that their relationship is a little different now since they were co-leaders together. "you and siwoo make a really good team when it comes to rapping, too. your styles are so different, but they complement one another well. reminds me of the differences between me and luciel as vocalists."

nodding his head in agreement to noel's offer, as well as his choice to start with 'siren', kian grabs the sheet of lyrics and looks it over briefly—lost in thought. "i'm for sure going to take you up on help with dancing, don't worry. i'm so afraid i'll fall on my face..." though he ends his statement with a giggle, the possibility of that happening is pretty real. there's a lot of footwork.

"so, this song needs a lot of confidence and a lot of attitude, especially for your parts! can you rap the first portion for me on your own? i know it says we'll all sing it, but i want you to get the mood into your system. start with 'beat, beat, beat, shuffle up, feelin' up...'"

kianbe

SESSIONS, PT. 2김기안 → 이노엘( PROJECT GREEN )

"the dance for this song is crazy, so i'm glad that the parts we were given aren't too demanding on our voices!" he chirps, keeping the mood light. "honestly, you're gonna sound awesome on the track, but what i'm most excited for is seeing your interpretation of this choreo. you're gonna kill it!" is he being overly complimentary? perhaps, but he means what he says. he's not lying. "i hope this doesn't sound weird, but you have such long legs, and i think that's gonna make it pop even more." scooting his chair closer to noel's, he looks toward the sheet of music for the song in front of him; eying it closely. "this song's shorter, so i thought we could start with this, then go to 'duty free', if that's okay! are you comfortable with your rap parts? do you have any ideas on how you wanna deliver your lines, like, stylistically?"

noel had been nervous about being a leader, but he’d say it went pretty well. noel was one of the oldest, and kian the youngest, it was a unique combination. noel is pretty sure that kian also doesn’t have much experience in being a leader, but they did well. they were a different couple of dudes, able to come up with different ideas, and they were able to help with different things, noel helping with dance and rap while kian took on the task of helping their fellow members with singing. they’d done their job successfully, and noel quite hoped they would end up debuting together. 

because now, debut was guaranteed, for some of them at least. noel had gone and wondered about it, what project green was really for, if there was the possibility of debut, or if they were just testing their trainees or something. but it was now revealed that they intended to debut a group through project green, and noel couldn’t help but be both nervous and excited. he wanted debut, he really did, and he was excited about the possibility of debut, while he hadn’t done the best in next gen, he’d say he’s doing pretty good in project green. there was a bit of fear though, that they’d kick him out of project green, they’d already done it to one trainee. noel wanted debut, he really really did, and he would work his hardest to make sure he’d debut.

so that meant that even though he wasn’t the biggest fan of neither of the original songs, he’d still do his best at it all: dance, singing and rap. it was a bit disappointing that they got themselves some original songs that noel didn’t like, but he wanted to stay positive. the songs were unique, and they could possible show off a new side of noel, so, though he definitely wouldn’t add the songs onto his playlist, he would work his ass of to make sure he did a good job.

and to noel’s luck, he’s not alone in this, his fellow project green members seems like they’d gladly help him. so he finds himself with kian again, in the recording studio this time. “i did original songs during next gen, but haven’t really done it since, so though i’m not the biggest fan of the songs, i am excited” he smiles to the younger. “thank you for being willing to help me, i’ve come a long way with singing and rap, but i still like getting some help with it, and when we’re done here, i’d gladly help you with the choreography, i have most of it down already” it was nice, that kian could help him and noel had something he could help with in return. noel had been so used to always asking for help, now he was skilled enough to help others. a chuckle escapes his lips “hoping my long legs will help me here”.

“let’s start with siren and do duty free after” he nods, “feeling pretty confident in my rap parts, i’ve practiced them hard but i’d gladly take any advice you can give”.

[artemiseamoon]

Back to Start

Dad! Frankie x Mom! ofc (on and off again lovers, exes)

Part 1 of 3 | fic info | next

About: After 20 years of history and 2 kids, Billie and Frankie navigate the current state of their relationship

Words: 2,781

Warnings: mention of an abortion but its very vague, sexual undertones. Implied.

Auto correct keeps changing his daughters name from Skye to Skype and I’m upset about it. 😭😭😭 I’ve yet again, gone in and fixed it.

Weaving this into my June Drabbles + Pride Month!

Prompts: fireworks + Frankie + “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.” “I do still love you.” (w/ angst)

Frankie and Billies teen daughter (Hs age) recently came out | my ofc is bisexual poly leaning woman

Faceclaims: Billie Hayes (Aisha Tyler), Skye Hayes ( Aisha Dee), their youngest son Kian Hayes (pic via pinterest)

Billie held the doorknob gently as Kian pulled the sheets over his body, up to his forehead. The sweet sound of his laugh makes her smile as his curls stick out from under the sheets.

Still smiling, Billie lets go of the knob and steps further into the room. Sitting on the side of the bed, she lowers the covers and tucks Kian in properly. “Goodnight baby. I love you.” She leans over and plants a kiss on his forehead.

“Love you, mom.” He beams, pulling his arms out of the covers for a hug. Melting at his cuteness, she draws him in for a big warm hug before tucking him in again.

“See you in the morning cutie.”

Billie reaches for the light on the nightstand and stops, her eyes falling to the toy plane on his desk. So young, and he was already showing interest in everything pilot-related.

She lets her eyes linger on the toy a little longer before turning the lamp off. Now, the only light in the room comes from the small helicopter nightlight on the wall.

Billie glances at Kian once more as he closes his eyes. As she starts to leave the room, Skye calls out to her from the bottom of the stairs.

“Mom! Dad’s here!” Her voice boomed through the house.

“Dad?!” Kian jumps out of bed and runs past her, his little feet hitting the wooden floor.

Billie sighs, then looks at her watch. She was so close to getting him to bed. “It’s going to be a long night.” She whispered to herself before heading down the hall. “Careful on those stairs!” She shouts, stopping at the head to make sure Kian doesn’t fall or tumble.

Making her way down, she reaches the first floor and turns toward the living room where Frankie is standing.

“Ah look at you, getting bigger every day. Soon you’ll be bigger than me,” Frankie picks Kian up with a grunt and holds him, “look at this hair.” He messes with his curls. Kian smiles at Frankie and tugs at his hat.

On the couch, Skye is still texting and resting one arm on her large teddy bear.

“Did you say hi to your dad?” Billie leans in the doorway and crosses her arms.

“Of course, let him in, big hug, all of it,” Skye replied, eyes still on her phone.

“At least when we were teens, we didn’t have those things,” Frankie comments, his eyes meeting Billies across the room.

“You know what this means right?” Billie pointed to the wall clock, “you gotta put him to bed.”

Frankie nods, “ I know, I know. Come on, little guy.” He walks toward Billie and glances back at Skye, “goodnight sweetheart.”

“Goodnight dad. Love you.” Skye look up briefly, smiles, then goes back to her phone.

“I hate those things.” Frankie grumbles.

“Stop being old.” Skye comments with a small grin.

Frankie laughs it off and stops before Billie, who straightens up. She caresses Kian's face. As she looks at Kian, she can feel Frankies eyes burning into her, in that mysterious, longing, yet somber way he’s so good at.

“I’ve been trying to get him down for over an hour.” Her brown eyes finally meet Frankies.

“Sorry,” he frowns, “we - “ he lowers his voice, “need to talk.”

“Well, what else would you be over here at this time for?” She raises a brow.

Frankie smirks, and that devilish glint in his eyes appears. The one she called ‘trouble’.

Billie rolls her eyes playfully, “go, get him to bed.” She steps aside as Frankie, still smirking, heads for the stairs.

Heading for the couch, Billie sits down and tugs at the purple teddy bear. Skye sits up and turns to her mom.

“You okay? You’ve been like this all day.” Billie asked with soft eyes.

“Yeah. Fine.” Skye lowers her phone, her brows showing tension. After a moment, she places the phone on the cushion and meets her mothers eyes. “When you and dad fight, do you - “ she pauses, “I mean, I know you’re not together but…how long does it take to…”

“Oh I see, I had a feeling,” Billie picks up the bear and places it on the nearby loveseat. She scoots closer to her daughter, “you and Nadia have your first fight?”

Skye drops her gaze to the floor and slowly shakes her head, “ yeah. Over something stupid.”

“Come here.” She raises her arm, Skype cuddles in close. As they hold eachother, Billie and breathes into the hug. “Want to talk about it? Your dad can wait.”

“Not right now, tomorrow?” Skye looks up at her.

“Of course baby.” Billie kisses the top of her head.

“Mom, since tomorrow is Saturday, can we go to the roller ring?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Billie grins.

“Thank you mom.” Skye breaks away from the hug.

Billie watches as Skye gathers her phone and the bear. Frankie won it for her years ago at a Carnival, one of those water gun shooting games. Or course he hit the highest level and won the grand prize. Ever since Skye was attached to the thing and when she dragged it around the house, it was a sure sign something was wrong. It was her emotional support bear.

Skye forces a smile and shifts the bear in her arms, “I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight baby.” Billie stands and watches her leave the living room. Billie then heads to the kitchen and pours herself a drink.

She had no idea what Frankie wanted to talk about, but their last few conversions didn’t go so great. She hoped it wasn’t another reckless decision. Even though he’s older now, he was still an adrenaline junkie and sometimes didn’t make the best choices. Frankie was an interesting mix of very controlled yet unpredictable.

Sitting outside on the back porch, Billie takes a sip of whiskey. It’s smooth on her tongue; the oak, cinnamon, and a little bit of smoke pleases her taste buds. Savoring the taste, and the quiet moment, she takes a deep breath and relaxes against the back of the chair.

A moment later, she hears the sliding door open, followed by Frankie's tell-tale footsteps. She watches from the corner of her eye as he sinks into the chair next to her and stares off at the backyard.

Frankie didn’t know how to start this conversation. And he was sure he knew how it was going to go. Frankie glances at Billie, her glass, then gets up.

Puzzled, Billie twists in the chair and watches him disappear inside before returning with a glass and the bottle of whiskey. He closes the sliding door behind him.

“Oh no,” She muttered as Frankie sits, “What is it?”

Frankie chuckles. He didn’t get nervous often, but breaking news to the mother of his children was one of the few times he did. The look on her face when he told her about the probation still haunted him.

But he can admit now, in the aftermath saying yes to that job was a stupid move. He was just…looking for something, whatever that is, and made a choice he now regrets.

Plus, any extra money he could get helped, especially with 2 kids. The job that cost him his license paid really well. All that aside, he has a family and understood why Billie was pissed as hell. But this new job would be different. Just a simple recon then back home. It should be a breeze.

“Santi is in town,” Frankie pours himself a drink and tops hers off as she holds it in her hands. Her eyes fixed on him as he speaks, “he asked me and the old crew to help. He needs a pilot.”

Billie sucks in a breath, then nibbles her lower lip. A sinking feeling hits her gut.

“I know that look.” Frankie takes a sip, his eyes still on hers.

A nervous knot grows in her stomach, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Billie was usually right. Everytime she had a bad feeling about something, shit hit the fan in some way or another. But, Frankie gave his word. Plus, it was Pope. If Pope needed him, he was there.

“It will be fine.” Frankie breaks eye contact and takes a gulp of whiskey.

Billie sits back and observes him. Frankie has always been a very mission-oriented guy. And when he gave his word, he meant it. He was dedicated, especially to Santiago. If a job needed to be done, Frankie was the perfect guy to do so, and do it efficiently. Billie could see why he reached the accolades he did in his career, why he's one of the best.

The intimate heart to heart thing, he didn't have that down so much. There was only so much Frankie availble to a partner, even to her. It was one of the many things that made Frankie a hard man to get to know, to love, to have a family with.

Billie never had any doubts about Frankie's love for his kids. Ever. He adored them, and they adored him. One of their biggest issues as a couple has always been his unavailability. There was always this part of him that felt inaccessible and off-limits. In a loving intimate bond, no matter how much love is there, that kind of thing can get lonely.

“When are you leaving?” Billie asked, raising her drink to her lips. The tone of her voice draws his eyes back to her. He knows she wants to ask more, but she holds herself back.

“Thursday.”

“Five days,” Billie swirls the liquid around in the glass, “still coming over Sunday? It’s fathers day.”

“Of course,” Frankie replies quickly. Nothing would stop him from that. Nothing in the world.

“Good.” Billie rests the drink in her lap and stares off at nothing.

Everything falls silent. Frankie continues observing her, he wants to be closer, to feel her soft skin against his. But they were in one of those gray areas at the moment. He didn't know if initiating contact would be embraced with open arms or if she’d reject him.

“Just, come back in one piece, please.” Her voice is soft, low, mixed with hints of exhaustion from her day.

Frankie leans closer, her eyes meet his, “I always do.”

“I - I worry about you, a lot, “ Billie breaks eye contact and knocks the rest of the drink back in one impressive gulp. It reminds Frankie of the days he, Santi, and her would close bars out together, before the kids, before lots of things,

Billie continues, “I know you are fully capable of your job and shit, if a zombie apocalypse went down tomorrow, I’d make sure we were with you because you - “ she pauses, feeling emotion well up in her chest. Billie takes a moment to gather herself before speaking again, “ I just fear one of these days you’re going to tell me you’re headed for a mission, and next thing I know, I open the door and it's not you standing there…it’s Santi, Will, Benny…” she trails off, not wanting to think about the thought any longer.

Frankie rises from the chair, puts the glass down, and kneels in front of Billie. He swipes the hat off his head, so she can see her better, and takes her hands into his own. His brown eyes are heavy with emotion as they gaze at each other.

“It won’t be them on the other side of the door, it will be me. I promise.”

Billie blinks twice and pulls her eyes away from his.

Frankie grips her hands tighter, “ look at me,” she does. He can see the coat of tears in her eyes, “ It will be me.”

“It better be,” she forces a laugh, “if you d- I’d pull some serious hoodoo shit and bring your ass back just to kill you myself.”

Frankie chuckles and leans forward to rest his head in her lap. “I’m more afraid of your wrath than whatever is on the other side.” He comments, relaxing against her thighs.

Billie lowers the glass to the ground and slides her fingers through his curls. The soft moan he emits sends a warmth through her entire body. This time, when silence falls, the tension is gone. Billie and Frankie let themselves enjoy it.

He could fall asleep, just like this, with her fingers in his hair. Just like he used too. He missed it, just like he missed a million other things, including her scent. Then the thought that plagued him earlier returns, ruining the moment. Before he can stop himself, the question leaves his lips,

“Are you seeing someone?” Frankie lifts his head to look at her.

Billie lowers her head slightly, her eyes still locked on his, “Frankie, we’re not - “

He interrupts before she finishes, “ I know,” he shrugs, “ I just - “

“I am dating, yeah. Nothing serious.”

Frankie’s lips tighten into a line as he bows his head. He shouldn’t have asked, he knew that, but he couldn’t help himself. When Frankie raises his head again, Billie offers a kind smile.

“Are you?”

“Dating?” He makes a face, “no.”

Silence again.

Frankie searches her eyes, looking for something, searching for it, then he finds it. Frankie smiles and gently brushes his thumb against her cheek. The look in his eyes reawakens the butterflies in her stomach and makes her heart beat faster.

“Francisco, “ she speaks his name softly, her tone breathy and sweet. Hearing his name on her lips, is still one of the sweetest sounds in the world, “don't look at me like that.”

Frankie leans in closer, he strokes her other cheek, “like what?”

Billie notices how close his face is getting to hers, but doesn’t move back, “Like you still love me.”

Frankie's eyes light up, he slides his hand under her hair and holds the nape of her neck, “ I do still love you. I never stopped.”

Billie’s lips part slightly as she takes in a breath. Frankie presses his forehead to hers. His eyes fall to her lips as she wets them,

“I know you feel the same.” He whispers.

“Frankie,” she reaches for his face and holds it with her hands, they make eye contact, “we made a choice, to co-parent and if we could, save our friendship. It’s the best road to take…” leading with her mind, she tries to stay focused. But the desire burning in his eyes is making it difficult, “we tried, more than once, but it didn’t work.”

Frankie's hungry eyes move over her face, taking in every feature, every detail, “we didn’t work because of me.”

Billie rests her hand on his shoulders, his hand is hot against her skin as he continues to hold the back of her neck, “Frankie?”

The call of his name brings his eyes back to hers. The red hot desire in his eyes mixes with something else, something desperate, “ say it.”

Billie breaks eye contact and lifts her hands from his shoulders, “we can’t do this. It's just going to end up how it always ends up and I really don’t want another kid. You and your fucking super sperm.”

Frankie laughs and stands up, releasing her from his grip. Billie stands, but Frankie doesn't move away, their bodies press together.

“It was almost three.” Frankie raises his brows.

“Well, you and your team were off in the middle of nowhere and one 5 year old was already too much to handle -“

Frankie cuts her off with his lips. Sliding one arm around her body, he holds her closer, the other returns to the back of her head.

Billie closes her eyes, instantly submitting to his lips. Fireworks go off inside of her, just like they always have with Frankie. Even all these years later, two kids later, his touch is still electric, his kiss like a spell.

When the passionate kiss breaks, Frankie continues to hold her as close as possible. Billie runs her hand up and down his back, then over his broad shoulders.

"You still didn't say it." Frankie's heart is racing in his chest, his body needing hers.

Billie shakes her head and chuckles, “what the fuck am I going to do with you?”

Frankie bites at her lower lip and sucks it into his mouth before releasing it. “Whatever you want.”

Billie slips away and heads to the doors. She shoots him a flirty look over her shoulder, “you know I love you. Don't think I could stop if I tried," she slides the door open and steps inside, "guest bedroom. Now.”

Next chapter

Meet the family 💜

Fic info

[loveylangdon]

What’s Clickbait Again? Pt. 4

Word count: 8k +

Overall Story Summary: You’re dating Shawn Mendes but was in a long term relationship with David Dobrik and met Shawn through a collab David was supposed to have with him. David is now collabing with Shawn finally and finds out you’re dating the pop sensation and doesn’t know what to do.

Authors note: thank you guys sooo much for reading this again it’s just been floating in my head and it's nice to be able to have it out there for other people to enjoy. I again don’t know what I'm doing this is all coming from something I thought up so please be kind. This is also a lot longer than I intended so I apologize. I’m aiming for 6 parts, let me know if you guys are enjoying this thank you so much Xx

pt. 1 -  pt. 2  - pt.3

*not my gif credit to owner*

y/n p.o.v

It’s been a week since Shawn and I have been to the Warner Brothers sound stage. We gave Andrew the finalized list of Youtubers the night we got back to the house. Andrew told us he would be in contact with a filming schedule but it has been a week and he hasn’t contacted us about anything business related. 

Shawn finally gets a well deserved break, with enough downtime and a studio session here and there so he doesn’t have time to complain about being nonproductive.

We’ve spent the week rolling between the sheets, doing some early morning gym sessions, sometimes late mornings, walks on the beach, hikes, studio sessions and going out at night. Constantly on the move but at his own pace and he’s enjoying it. Shawn got back from the gym early this morning and headed straight back to bed, while he’s currently sleeping away his post gym feels I’m left with my thoughts. 

Sitting on the patio overlooking the water in our rented out Malibu home I can’t help but think what these crazy weeks of filming are going to look like. Shawn has 8 videos to film with 8 different creators it's going to get tiring. With only a month and a half of summer left and tour rehearsals starting soon.

Luckily Shawn is just the face and not the editing team, we decided to have Connor come along and help film so we can get some good behind the scene stuff for Shawn’s fans aside from the Youtube video’s posted by the creators. It also made Shawn feel better knowing he has his own footage to back up his actions if any of the youtubers decided to make him out to be something he’s not. 

Shawn agreed to do a video with Jeff Wittek, Crawford Collins, Josh Peck, The Dolan Twins, Zac Efron, Sofia Nygaard, Kian & Jc and lastly David 

It took a lot of convincing on Andrews end and a lot of reassurance on mine but as a couple, Shawn and I agreed to give David a chance. Finally getting the time to collaborate together they can finally film the video all the fans have been asking for. Giving both men the exposure and little push they need for their next big projects, Shawn is finally going to be in the vlog. If for whatever reason it doesn’t go as planned Andrew promised an ultimatum. Shawn would get to do his video with Steveo as long as it was one that guarantees minor bruising only and no heights. Shawn was elated and agreed quicker than we expected.

Suddenly I feel arms wrapped around my chest from behind me, looking up from my seat I see Shawn in his morning afterglow, rosy cheeks, fluffy curls, swollen lips, no shirt and sweats that fit perfectly snug on his hips with the band of his Calvin Kleins peeking out from the elastic of his sweatpants. If it wasn’t a good morning it certainly is now.

“Mm morning Princess, how’d you sleep,” he asks as he leans down to leave kisses on my neck. His curls tickling under my chin I tilt my head to the side to give him more access and he hums 

This man truly has me spent on him

Shawn picks me up from behind and moves so he’s now sitting on the chair I was and places me on his lap straddling him, he goes back to sucking on my neck, softly biting and smoothing it over with his tongue most likely leaving a mark I’ll have to cover if we decide to go anywhere tonight. Honestly, I could care less I’m on cloud nine

I move to thread my fingers in his curls slightly pulling them and he lets out a low moan, I go to do it again so he knows I want his attention, 

he moves his forehead against mine eyes hooded as he stares at me, his mouth open slightly breathes against my lips, his eyes going back to my lips and to my eyes, he quickly takes my bottom lip between his and slightly tugs on it when my lip snaps back in place I go in for a kiss but he cuts me off “That wasn’t nice princess I didn’t finish my masterpiece” He moves one hand around my waist holding me firm on his lap and the other goes to my neck as he rubs the now red/purple skin. 

I lean in and pull his lip with my teeth releasing it, tugging on his hair one more time he lets out a  moan, I’m pulling him closer if that’s even possible “I wanted a kiss” I look at him and next thing I know his mouth is on mine and I know this is what heaven feels like. 

“If you guys are going to have sex at least do it in your room and not out on the patio where I don’t know anyone can be looking over at you guys and filming it” Brian calls from the sliding glass doorway eating grapes 

Shawn groans turning his head to look at Brian “Fuck off dude what the actual fuck” Shawn holds your hips tighter pushing you harder into his lap making his semi known through his sweats and you let out a small moan.

Both Shawn and Brian’s look at you, Shawn smirking and Brian’s eyes about to explode out of his head you go to move your blushing cheeks in Shawns neck as he holds you tighter into his chest.

“Wait are you guys actually having sex holy shit” You hear Brian moving and you peek your eyes out to see Brian walk around to the front of you guys trying to catch you two in the act. 

“Dude what the fuck” Shawns growls at him “Why the fuck, if we were having sex which we aren’t, what if you did just catch us right now why would you move to get a better view” You giggle into Shawn’s neck and move to sit up turning your head to look at Brian. 

Brian’s eyes get wider if that’s even possible and his entire body turns red, he looks at you both sheepishly “Touché” he turns around to go back inside and closes the glass door with him. 

You and Shawn are left laughing at the idiot. Once Shawn calms down he moves one of his hands to play with your hair moving the pieces that fell in your face behind your ear. He goes to place a kiss on your nose 

“How’d you sleep, princess?” He’s staring down at you with swollen lips and his eyes filled with nothing but love and your heart skips a beat 

“mm I slept good but I’m glad you’re up now” You lean in to place a kiss on his lips and just as soon as you’re about to capture his lips in a kiss there’s a knock on the glass door. 

Shawn leans his forehead against yours and groans loud enough for Brian to hear through the glass “Fuck off Brian Jesus Christ” you giggle but are immediately shut up by Shawns lips. You hear the glass door being opened and feel Shawn groaning in your mouth. You’re about to pull away but he moves his hand to the back of your head to stop you from moving, chasing your lips until they’re back on his again. 

“Are you done eating your girlfriend Shawn or do you want me to give you a minute” You hear Andrew ask, you turn your head and feel the heat rise to your cheeks. Shawn hides his face in your neck and groans. 

“If you guys would let me have 10 minutes with my girlfriend maybe I could” He looks over at Andrew with a not so intimidating look in his eyes that makes both you and Andrew start laughing. He’s too soft in the morning to be anywhere near intimidating. He pouts and slumps in his seat, you’re about to get off of him but he quickly pulls your hips back onto his lap 

“Oh Shawnie boy has a boner,” Brian says as he walks back outside “Am I allowed out here or you guys still filming a porno” he’s snickering at you both while Shawn pulls a face mocking him

Shawn groans “Why is everyone out here anyways” huffing between Andrew and Brian 

“Well you weren’t answering your phone you have to film in an hour so we need to get you ready so we can start heading over to the apartment” 

You look at Shawn “Apartment?” Looking up at Andrew confused 

“Yah that Jeff Wittek guy does the barbershop videos in his apartment we’re meeting him in an hour” Andrew shrugs “If you guys answered your phone or spent more than 20ft apart from each other maybe you would have time check your phones” Andrew holds up his phone waiving it

Shawn looks at you and rolls his eyes. You convinced Shawn to do a video with Jeff whether it was a barbershop video or a hiking video was up to Shawn since he was nervous to have someone who isn’t Kristan doing his hair. Which is understandable but you thought the content from the barbershop would be great. You also suggested that they go once and film the barbershop bit sort of as a pre-trial so if Shawn doesn’t like the haircut we can hide away until it grows back, they can scrap the video and him and Jeff can just do a hiking video. Shawn chose the Barbershop because the content is more comedy based and not a life question interview.

“Today?” Shawn asks looking up at Andrew 

“What else are you doing besides trying to swallow your girlfriend for all of Malibu to record?” Andrew lifts his eyebrow up at Shawn 

“I told them to go inside someones gonna film their sex tape out here” Brian spoke up looking at Andrew and then back to you and Shawn with a pointed finger and a smirk 

“I need you two to be ready in an hour so we can leave. one hour” Andrew looks at both of you “No funny business, 60 minutes and I want you both at the front door ready to leave” he walks back into the house leaving Brian with you guys 

“Wheres Connor” you look at Brian 

“Meeting us there, his apartment is closer to Jeff’s than here so it made sense” he shrugs popping another grape into his mouth 

You nod understandingly “Ok Shawnie boy lets go get you dressed and ready” you go to stand holding your hands out to him 

He looks up at you squinting his eyes “Why can't we stay here, Can’t he come here it's just a haircut and I don't even cut my hair it's just a trim actually all he needs is scissors-“

“Come on rockstar dwelling on your shaved head isn’t going to make it happen” 

‘WHAT” his eyes pop out of his head 

“Bro she’s joking” Brians laughing and gets serious “I mean unless she texted Jeff behind Andrew's back” they both look at you

“I texted him, yes, but just to clarify who was going to be there we don’t need any surprises today, come on prince” finally being able to get Shawn up and dragging him to your shared bedroom to get him dressed for the day was a chore in itself 

Shawn walks into the room and immediately plops down on the bed pulling a pillow to his chest hugging it while watching you go through the closet to figure out what you’re both going to wear today. 

When you finally pick clothes out for Shawn you lay them out on the bed only to see him knocked out again. Only he can sleep anywhere at any time. Getting ready and changed quickly you go into the kitchen to start breakfast for him and the rest of the house. 

____ 

Knocking on Jeff’s apartment door holding Shawns hand is nerve-racking, when you and David broke up Jeff was fairly new to the vlog squad not entirely in the squad officially but new enough to be the center of the vlogs. When you and David broke up he was an honorary member quick to fill in the time that was missing due to your absence.

Jeff being the gentlemen he was kept in contact with you making sure you were okay and checked in at random times. You guys had a couple of heart to hearts when you told David to cut it on the jail jokes it wasn’t funny and entirely done in bad taste. You never knew if it was David asking Jeff to check up on you and Jeff playing messenger or if it was genuine. Never the less you always had a soft spot for Jeff because of his past and how he managed to turn his life around. 

You and Shawn being front and center while Andrew, Brian, and Connor were beside you, The door opens and Shawn squeezes your hand. 

He’s never met anyone from what's left of your friend group in Los Angeles or what was your friend group because you didn’t want to be an inconvenience to David, which he understood, you guys being together for three years and living together you shared the same friends. Shawn was excited to meet Jeff but nervous to have to put so much trust in him the first time meeting him.

“Y/N!” Jeff opened the door and opened his arms wide embracing you in a bone crushing hug making you pull apart from Shawn. “How have ya been, it’s been a while,” He asks smiling from ear to ear. “Oh guys come in sorry to leave ya out in the hall I got excited” While Jeffs ushering people in you look around Jeff has really done the place up since the last time you’ve been here 

You feel Shawn walk in behind you “You okay princess?” He asks reaching for your hand while Jeff is talking to Andrew about the plan for filming 

“Yeah it's just weird being here” you laugh and kiss the back of his hand 

Shawn smiles at you “didn’t you say he had a dog?” Shawn looks around confused 

Cody walks out with Oscar from Jeffs bedroom shutting the door behind them 

“Y/N! Oscar walks up to you pulling you away from Shawn and into a hug “How have you been, haven’t seen you in a while we need to go shooting again soon okay? I miss your help around here it's getting crazy so much has changed since you were around” Oscar smiles at you and you feel Shawn’s hand on the small of your back, you smile at his protectiveness 

“Oscar this is my boyfriend Shawn” you introduce them and glance over at Cody “You must be Cody? Jeff has told me so much about you” You walk over and give him a hug 

“Yah it’s glad to finally meet you, the lot talk about you a lot” he chuckles smiling 

“the lot?” Shawns asks interjecting 

“Yah the lot ya know the “vlog squad” David Dobrik and-“ Cody tries to explain but Oscar cuts him off 

“The group misses you is all, We hung out with Natalie the other day and she was telling us how she ran into you at the Warner Brother lot. Cody is still new around here and doesn’t know boundaries or when to shut up apparently” he looks at Cody “Go check on Nerf will you make sure he’s okay” Oscar smiles at him and Cody puts his hands up In defense and retreats back into Jeffs room. 

“Sorry about him” Oscar looks to Shawn “He’s still new it takes a while for him to get use to everything again” 

“New? I thought you guys have been making videos for a long time” Shawn looks at you nerves were written on his face 

You put your hand on his chest “They have, they do, Jeff has been cutting hair since high school and Cody just got out of prison not too long ago that's what he’s talking about”

Shawns eyes widen “Prison? What” he looks down at you 

You and Oscar laugh “Yes prison, but he’s a sweetheart don’t worry” you pat his chest. you turn to Oscar again and feel Shawn take your hand back in his but turn around to face Brian and Connor who are having their own conversation. While Jeff and Andrew are doing the same.

“How have you been y/n,” Oscar asks genuinely 

“I’ve been good, After I left I went to Europe for a couple of weeks sold my apartment here and moved into an apartment in New York City when Shawn and I started getting serious I moved into Shawns apartment in Toronto. We’re here for the summer for tour rehearsals and this youtube thing and then we head back home for a week and then we leave for a tour for half the year I’m excited.” You explain to Oscar and feel Shawn squeeze your hand when you say you’re excited about the tour and you chuckle. 

He’s always scared he was making you do something you didn’t want to do when he asked you to join tour with him he was beyond nervous. He wanted you with him all the time so you joining just made sense but he didn’t want you to feel like he was forcing you to do something because he just wanted you with him. You took a year off school trying to pursue a higher degree and working after yours and Davids break up. The year gap isn't done yet but he knew you eventually wanted to go back to finish your degree and he didn’t want to hold you back. Working in media management was easy to do on the road so even if you joined Shawn on tour and wanted to go back to work you could.  

You feel Shawn squeeze your hand again bringing you back down from your little thought bubble you turn to look at him and he's smirking. Even when he’s not paying attention to you, he knows your body like the back of his hand.

Oscar notices your little interaction and smiles, “That's really good, I'm happy for you” he leans in closer to you so Shawn can’t hear “I'm glad you found someone who treats you how you deserve to be treated-” he pulls away when he sees Shawn get close. Shawn goes to move his arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, looking over at Oscar like he did something wrong. 

You immediately go and put your hand on his chest “back down prince” you chuckle “Oscar here was my partner in editing, we spent way to much time editing for it to be considered healthy” you both laugh while Shawn’s eyes widen being caught

“You guys are cute, How did you guys meet” Shawns eyes light up, it’s one of his favorite stories to tell but he’s disrupted by Jeff

“Okay so we’re just waiting for Zane so he can be our audience and we can start? Is that okay y/n?” He asks facing you, no one here has realized or paid any mind that Shawn Mendes is actually standing right next to you and is the reason you’re actually here. Shawn doesn’t seem to mind but you don’t know how to feel about it.  

You look up at Shawn “do you want to start now or wait for one more person” you whisper to him looking for the emotions behind his eyes, he’s nervous and there's something else you can’t point out. 

“Can we start please, I really don’t want to be here longer than we have to” he looks down at you and wraps his arms behind your neck pulling you into his chest. You feel his heart rate accelerate as he asks in a soft tone, and you know he’s scared and anxious how this is gonna play out. 

Going to hold his face “we can do whatever you want, we can leave right now even” looking him in the eyes so he knows you’re serious. His eyes soften and he leans in to kiss you. 

Brian, Connor, Andrew, and Oscar all go to groan at the same time. Shawn flips of his team as you pull apart he leans his forehead against yours and nudges your nose with his in a loving manner. You pull away, peck his nose one time before turning to Jeff, 

“Can we start now and Zane gets here when he gets here Andrew was gonna leave but I don’t think he’ll mind filling in as audience right Andrew?” You ask looking to him as he’s typing on his phone and he glares at you, knowing you know he doesn’t want to spend time in a room with a bunch of Hollywood guys

“I can stay but only for a little bit” he answers

Jeff raises his eyebrows and ushers Brian, Andrew and you onto the couch behind a camera and Shawn to the chair set up behind a bunch of cameras. While Connor is moving around adjusting his own setup. When Shawn realizes you won’t be in frame with him he pouts 

“Y/n can't sit next to me?” Shawn asks looking up to Jeff who’s standing behind the chair getting his stuff ready

Jeff raises an eyebrow “You want y/n in the frame?” Confused he looks over to you, you laugh no one understands how touchy Shawn is beside’s his team and it's endearing. Shawns knee won’t stop bouncing and he’s pouting at you. 

“Is there a way Jeff to let him hold my hand but me not be in the frame?” You know the answer but Shawn doesn’t and maybe if he’s told no from Jeff he’ll suck it up for thirty minutes. 

“Uh no? Unless you want Oscar to hate you” Jeff answers and chuckles, you move to kneel next to Shawn who’s already sitting in the chair without the cape on.  Shawn looks at you helplessly, you move to kneel in-between his legs placing one hand on his thigh to stop the bouncing while he looks down at you 

“Can we go home?” He whispers asking and pouting 

You sigh “Prince do you really not want to do this?” You look in his eyes and it’s just nerves 

“No… I-I don’t know” He pouts 

“I’m right here prince no need to be nervous so what I can’t hold your hand for thirty minutes, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere I promise, if anything is wrong just say something and we stop its not that bad okay” you whisper to him as you hold his hands in yours, you speak up “Jeff knows ill kill him if he hurts my boyfriend in any way shape or form” you glance up to Jeff “Right Jeff” 

“Oh yah she can kick my ass without a doubt” he chuckles “don’t stress too much Shawn I’m probably more nervous than you, my Youtube channel is a barbershop theme but my demographic is 15-20 year old females, I'm surprised I’ve made it this long, I’m going to be out of a job soon, and the only reason I’m not is because I'm shirtless in everyone's videos how do you think I feel every day knowing all these girls see me -“

“Like a piece of meat yeah we know Wittek boo hoo you” you roll your eyes and Shawn chuckles looking at both of you 

Shawn moves your hands that are holding both of his to his mouth to kiss them and looks at you softly, you know he’s ready 

“You guys are cute I think I’m going to throw up” Jeff jokes and turns around 

“How do you think I feel” Brian speaks up “I almost caught th-“

“BRIAN” you and Shawn shout at the same time blush on both of your cheeks 

Jeff smirks at both of you “Okay I see you guys” he chuckles “Ready to start Shawn?” He asks with scissors in his hands 

You stand up and peck Shawn one more time and go to sit down “Yah I'm ready, please don’t cut all my hair off” he jokes as they start recording 

Jeffs dry humor completely goes over Shawns head and has you crying in your seat. Shawn is way to polite to understand or get that Jeff is joking half the time and numerous times Shawn has blamed it on his Canadianism. 

Jeff has already had Cody jump out of the closet to scare Shawn and had flour come out of the hair dryer. Jeff asked music questions, how did you get your start what's the deal with Cameron Dallas and why won’t he come on the show and all the cliche barbershop bits already happened so you know its almost coming to a close 

Once Shawn finally relaxed everything went smoothly it's nice to see him interact with Jeff and get out of his comfort zone not only of only having Kristan style and cut his hair but people wise too he’s always surrounded by his team to the point they’re family now. Seeing him interact with people is always your favorite, after magcon Shawn never felt comfortable with people who joke about things for the sake of being liked by strangers online so seeing him open up with Jeff is making you soft

He didn’t only do this because of the contract you wanted him and Jeff to film together knowing they would hit it off, Jeff is a sweet and charismatic person and extremely loyal and under his, I don’t give a fuck attitude he was a soft puppy. Jeff always deserved better so this was the least you could do to help him as a thank you.

Jeff is doing Shawns hair exactly how he likes it and you’re not surprised no matter how many self-deprecating jokes Jeff makes about sucking at cutting hair and only knowing one haircut it’s his passion and it shows. It's been a good forty-five minutes and Shawn and Jeff are bantering and having everyone in the room laughing and crying. 

Suddenly you hear paw’s pattering and you gasp you haven’t seen nerf in so long and you get excited, Jeff looks around confused “Oscar why is nerf out” he asks looking to Oscar 

“I don’t know Cody was supposed to watch him” Oscar replies and laughs when nerf goes to sit by Jeffs' feet in the shot 

“Bro you’re killing my moment with a rockstar right now” pointing to Shawn and looking down at Nerf again “Nerf move your tapping toes elsewhere, I can already hear your breathing from up here, CODY” Jeff calls out but there's no answer 

Shawn chuckles at Jeff and nerfs interaction and steals a glance at you blowing you several kisses with the tips of his fingers. 

“Your friend walked out the apartment” Brian speaks up and points to the front door 

“What the hell?” Jeff furrows his eyebrows at Oscar 

“I don’t know maybe he went to let Zane up” Oscar shrugs fixing the camera after putting Nerf back in the bedroom.

“Okay whatever we’re almost done and then we can get this fine looking man out of my chair, I’m being upstaged and I can already feel it hurting my brand” Jeff chuckles and Shawn joins him 

“Do you even lift bro” Shawn jokes looking up at Jeff 

“Woah calm down pretty boy I hold the scissors you’re at my mercy” Jeff jokes moving the scissors in an Edward Scissorhands motion.  

Shawns laughing along mocking Jeffs hand movements he’s about to say something when the apartment door flies open and David comes storming in, Jeff looks over and smiles at him and your ready to beat Jeffs ass for setting you two up but Jeffs facial expressions change quickly and he sets his scissors down, making his way over to David in his kitchen with his arms crossed over his chest unamused with Davids childlike behavior

“I need to talk to y/n,” David says looking over to you in a demanding tone and back to Jeff he’s fuming and his hands continuously tug at his hair 

“Woah no try that again walk out and walk back in if you’re going to ask something, don’t come in here demanding things acting like we won’t beat your ass right now” Jeffs jaw clenches and Shawn takes off the barber cape and stands up too arms crossing over his chest 

Davids' eyes widen at Jeff not expecting him to talk back to him he quickly recovers and looks at you “I need to talk to you and I’m not taking no for an answer” he says again standing his ground clenching his own fists when Shawn steps closer to you. At this point, Brian and Connor are also standing next to you jaws clenched waiting to see what's going to happen

“Get the fuck out David” Jeff chuckles at David pointing to the door shaking his head 

“No, I need to talk to y/n and I’m not leaving until I do” 

“Man If this is some elaborate scheme to get her to talk to you maybe you shouldn’t do it on my time or her boyfriends if she wanted to talk to you she would’ve called,” Jeff tells him pointing to the door again

You can see Jeff getting frustrated his face is turning red and his veins are starting to get prominent when he notices David isn’t leaving. 

You look at Shawn and he looks unamused, you look over at Andrew and he’s holding the bridge of his nose, making eye contact he gestures at you to do something 

“Yah well you’ll be here for a while dude she’s not talking to you” Shawn speaks up stepping closer to you and putting his hand on the small of your back 

Davids jaw clenches “No one is talking to yo-“ he tries to fire at Shawn but is cut off by Jeff 

“David get out of my apartment man we don’t want any trouble” Jeff tries again 

David shakes his head and looks at Shawn going to open his mouth to finish what he was going to say to Shawn but you stand up and his eyes widen 

“David get out” you look at him 

“What no” hurt flashes across his face “I came here to talk to you I’m going to talk to you I’m not leaving until I do”

“Dude what part of she’s not going to talk to you don’t you get just fucking leave already” Shawn sneers at him 

“No one asked you for your input, Shawn, why don’t you do us all a favor and lea-“

“HEY” you shout over David “You do not get to talk to him like that do you hear me” you look at David who visibly shrinks in his spot “Jeff asked you to leave so leave, how inconsiderate of you to barge into his house, disrupt his video, mess with his work and potentially cost him a brand deal are you serious right now? how big is your ego that you think this is okay?” You look at David who looks at the floor

“Dave just leave man” Oscar speaks up 

David looks at Oscar “Are you deaf? I’m not leaving until I talk to y/n” 

“You’re such a fucking child” you huff, walk past Jeff and move closer to David walking up to him and pushing his chest turning him around to walk towards the door. David turns to look at Jeff and Shawn smirking as if in victory. You finally get to the doorway and David walks out into the hall, while you’re still in Jeffs apartment. 

 “y/n i-“

“No I get to talk now, Who do you think you are coming in here to demand anything from Jeff let alone me. We do not belong to you, we do not work for you, you do not own us. No matter how much you think Jeff owes you something or he has to do what you say his loyalty lies with himself and his work. Jeff is your friend and co-worker, how dare you take advantage of him and information that he has to use it to your advantage for your own selfish reasons. You need to leave and I'm not Jeff asking you, I'm telling you to leave right now before we call security and have you escorted out. You didn’t only embarrass yourself you embarrassed Jeff so leave before you make it harder on yourself and lose one of the best things that the vlog has to offer. Maybe when you calm down and aren’t acting like a child who just got his toy taken from him maybe and I say maybe think about calling me, but after this stunt, I am nowhere near ready to talk to you so leave”  you huff arms over your chest 

Hurt flashes across David's face and he looks over your shoulder at Jeff waiting for him to defend him but Jeff doesn’t say anything 

“Fine, I'll call you” David mumbles out and walks down the hall to the elevator. 

You go to close the apartment door and lock it, Shawn comes over to you quickly engulfing you in a hug and pressing you against the apartment door “Princess are you okay? While that was pretty badass not gonna lie” he turns to Andrew who’s already talking to Brian and Connor who’s packing up his things “I think we can leave, yah lets go home” 

You look up to Shawn confused “Prince you’re going to finish the video” you move from under him and walk towards Jeff who’s tugging on his hair when he sees you he starts talking a mile a minute

“Y/n I swear to ya I didn’t know he was coming, I didn’t even mention that I was doing a video with Shawn because I knew he would’ve pulled some dumbass shit like that” Jeff stands in front of you talking with his hands 

You walk over to Jeff and put your hand on his bicep and he calms down “Hey it's okay, we’re fine, I know you wouldn’t tell David anything Jeff you’re too mature for his childish games” you shrug and he gives you a hug 

“I’m sorry” he pulls away “I should get security or something” he jokes 

“Wait you didn’t tell him we were coming over?” Shawn buts in wrapping his arm around your waist as he moves to stand next to you

“No man, what the fuck” Jeff looks over to Shawn pained as to why he would think something like that “Zane must’ve let it slip or something that we were filming somethin, I swear Shawn I know we just met but I would never do anything to jeopardize this opportunity or hurt y/n in any way” He looks over at Shawn with sincerity in his eyes  

Shawn hums and takes the cape back from the barber chair where he left it “Princess can you put this back on me” he hands you the cape and turns around

“Uh, we’re staying?” Andrew asks and Connor and Brian look over at Shawn confused, he turns around with a well no shit expression on his face, leaving you to stifle a laugh when Andrew shoots you a look  

“Well yeah, you heard Jeff he didn’t tell him, its not Jeff’s fault David wants my girl” he looks down at you and winks “That would’ve been good,” he stops and look down at you “Whats its called again honey Click something” he furrows his eyebrows and snaps his fingers trying to remember 

Jeff and Oscar let out a belly laugh “Clickbait its called clickbait” Jeff breathes out in-between laughs 

Shawn joins in chuckling “Yah that, Clickbait. David Dobrik broke into my apartment and this is what happened” 

Jeff looks at him impressed snapping his fingers into the gun position “Ya okay that's good, maybe you should help me with the rest of my video titles” 

Andrew clears his throat, “Well that was enough Hollywood for me for one day” he moves to stand up “I’m going to go call Davids manager Jack and have a long discussion with him and see if we even want to do a video with them after that little stunt maybe scare him a bit” Andrew sighs “Connor you got that on video right” Connor nods his head 

 “Excuse me if you will” He walks over to give you a hug, a handshake to Shawn whos already sitting in the chair and he turns to Jeff and gives him a handshake to “It was nice meeting you, it’s impressive what you have here its different I really like it, if you ever need a new manager I know people” He smiles and walks through the kitchen and out the door 

Jeff blows out his cheeks and sighs “Holy Shit that guys scary”

Brian, Connor, and Shawn burst into laughter “Who Gerty? Gerty’s scary” Shawns clutching his chest and wheezing at this point and Jeffs confused but laughing along with it. 

By the time everyone is settled down the video only takes about twenty more minutes to film and to get the final spin around in the chair.  Jeff hands Shawn a mirror to look at his hair 

“Holy shit I look good” Shawn’s wide eyes meet yours and you chuckle 

Jeff put a product in his hair letting his curls fall loosely but tight enough to have one fall in front of his face making him look like a young James Dean 

“Thanks man” Shawn gets up to give Jeff a bro hug and you can tell Jeffs shocked at the sudden act of affection, “I think we’re gonna have to hire Jeff to follow me on tour” Jeffs eyes about pop out of his head 

“What man no way I only know one haircut” he deadpans into the camera leaving everyone in the room a laughing mess

By the time Jeff films his outro, it's only you, Shawn, Oscar and Jeff in the apartment everyone else already left. 

Shawn’s still sitting in the barber chair talking with Jeff as he cleans up when Jeff shuts off the barber sign you take it as your cue to leave. Getting up from your spot on the couch you go up behind Shawn and kiss his forehead “Come on prince I think it’s time to go home” grabbing his hands and pulling him up out of the barber chair he pouts

“What? What's wrong now” you ask confused 

“Do we have to go?” He looks down at you 

“Yah do ya have to go?” Jeff looks at you too with a questioning playful tone

You snort “If I would’ve known this would’ve become a bromance I would’ve left with Connor” 

Shawn gasps “No such thing my princess leaving with another man is never going to happen” he shakes his head at you 

Jeffs looking at you both with a scrunched up face “You’re fucking weird man” Jeffs chuckling “But you’re pretty cool too” 

“We should go out to the club or something” Shawn looks down smiling at you like it’s the best idea he’s had all day “I can call Brian, Connor, Sylvie we can make it a group thing-“

Oscar interrupts him “Jeff, David wants us over at his house to film, he’s throwing a party for Toddy he just texted me”

“You’re joking, right? Why can’t he give me a break” Jeff rubs his face with his hands looking at Shawn “Sorry man maybe some other time?” 

Shawns shoulders slump and you can tell he’s disappointed “Oh yeah totally, no problem, it happens” he shrugs his shoulders at Jeff trying to play it off but Jeff notices too

“Why don’t you come with us?” he asks

“Wait what” You and Shawn answer at the same time 

“That was weird don’t do that again” Jeffs chuckling “So what he was being a little kid earlier. He can get over it. We want to party, he’s throwing one, free booze, entertainment food, and girl- never mind on that one” Jeff chuckles looking over to you sheepishly and Shawns eyes widen 

“Yah its a no on that one for me” he laughs uncomfortably    

“Think about it as a getting even scheme you guys show up to his party with me being all cute and coupley, after he clearly tried some shit today it makes you even. You’re going at my guests why not, he’s not going to say no especially after what he did earlier. You don’t even need to talk to him,” Jeff looks over at you “I mean unless you want to, but he won’t make a fool of himself twice and if you guys show up unannounced then it evens the playing field for when you guys have to film with him, he was stupid twice now its your guys’ turn” Jeff shrugs 

“I agree with Jeff, he won’t try anything and honestly y/n everyone misses you like crazy when Natalie told us she saw you last week everyone was trying to make plans to get in contact with you. If everyone is there supporting you two he won’t try anything. Might as well have fun at his expense” Oscar butts in shrugging along with Jeff 

You bit the inside of your cheek looking up at Shawn, it was a horrible idea a hundred percent wrong but it was true, you guys didn’t have plans, and you missed everyone.

“Do you want to go princess” Shawn looks down at you rubbing his thumb over your fingers with the hands he’s holding 

“I mean it’s a horrible idea but it makes sense” You shrug “What do you want to do prince?”

You can hear the gears turning in his head but you also see the glimmer in his eyes, “Can I bring my friends too” Shawn asks Jeff as your eyes go wide not thinking he was serious

“Yah sure the more the merrier I’ll just tell David I’m bringing a couple of people, it shouldn’t be a problem” he bits his thumb looking at you two “You can bring friends too y/n” Jeff smiles at you 

“Oh no I don’t ha-“ you go to explain to Jeff that your only friends consist of those on Shawn’s tour team, you got close with Alessia and Aaliyah but after you left Los Angeles you cut your ties with everyone not wanting to bring any discomfort to David after the breakup. Alessia was in Canada visiting family and she’s not supposed to fly out till next week. But you’re cut off by Shawn 

“Princess you have friends” Shawn speaks up squeezing your hand “Oscar just said they were scheming to try to spend time with you” he smiles down at you kissing your forehead 

You look up at him confused “You want to go?” You ask him “To my ex-boyfriends house to party?” 

“If it means you get to spend time with people you haven’t talked to in a while, and as long as that blonde with the resting bitch face isn’t there I don’t see why we can't go with Brian and Con and try to have some fun I can finally meet more of your friends”  He shrugs and your heart about bursts

Jeffs stifling a laugh “A blonde? Who Corinna?” 

“Yah she was playing guard dog for David after he followed us when we went to grab lunch last week” you explain to him 

“oh my god, well she won’t be there because it's for Toddy and uh if he has a guard dog I’ll be your guys” Jeff smirks and crosses his arms over his chest trying to look intimidating 

You’re surrounded by giant idiots 

“What do you say, princess?” Shawn looks down at you and Jeff too 

“Okay fuck it call Brian and Connor” now it's your turn to shrug your shoulders and as soon as the words leave your mouth you’re being engulfed by Jeff and Shawn in a group hug. Thank you’s and this is going to be fun escaping their lips. 

You laugh at both of them and move to pull away “Okay okay I can't breathe you’re both giants and all muscle let me go” you finally push out of their embrace and look to Shawn “Come on rockstar we need to go get ready its time to leave your boyfriend now” you laugh as Shawn and Jeff partake in one more bro hug

“I’ll see you guys back here in 3 hours and we can leave together” Jeff chuckles as you take your boyfriend's hand and drag him out of the apartment. When the door shuts and you're both in the elevator you turn to Shawn 

“Are you sure you want to go? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” you look up at Shawn and wrap your arms around his waist 

He goes to hold your face in his hands “Do you love me?” He asks 

“What of course I do, you’re my person Shawn why would you ask me that” you hold him tighter not knowing where this is going 

He leans down to press a kiss to your lips then to your forehead and then lastly to your nose “You’re always trying to do what's best for me, doing little things to make sure I’m okay and that I’m happy you’re my rock and my person. I know you love me and won’t let anything bad happen. I love you and won’t let anything bad ever happen to you and if we have each other I know our love is strong enough so nothing can break us. You go everywhere with me, performances, award shows, gala’s all where I have to interact with my ex’s if you can do it for me I can do that for you too. You miss your friends I know you do, you act like leaving Los Angeles wasn’t a big deal and you are so strong for handling things the way you did. But what you did was a big deal and you came out of it stronger than when you left. You spend so much time making sure everyone’s okay you forget to put yourself first. So here I am telling you it’s okay to do that. I’m going to make sure you get to party with your friends who you haven’t seen in a year, who I know you miss because they’ve been a part of your lives for way longer than I have and deciding to leave them was one of the hardest things you had to do. So I am going to take my princess to her stupid ex’s party so she can hang out with her friends and I can finally meet the people who make her happy, okay?” Shawn says wiping the tears that fell from your eyes and you didn’t even realize you were crying until he was wiping them away 

Looking up at him through soft eyes that hold nothing but love and admiration for him, he leans down to plant a kiss on your lips. Moving your hands from his waist to his neck you make the kiss deeper. Hearing the elevator ding you guys break apart, he leans to move his forehead against yours as the doors open nudging his nose with yours softly, you can feel his breathe on your mouth “I love you, Princess,” he goes to peck your lips again before he can pull away you peck his lips “I love you prince”

He pecks your forehead and pulls you out of the elevator smiling down at you while leading you to the jeep “Now let's go home and get my princess all dolled up to make her grand entrance” opening the car door for you he bows down 

“Why thank you my prince” you go to pull him in for one more kiss before he makes his way around the car to the driver's side ready to take you guys home to get ready for an infamous David Dobrik house party. 

--- 

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoy it this is 4/6 a lot longer than I intended but I hope you liked it. If you have any suggestions or feedback it is greatly appreciated and my ask box and dms are always open. Again this is just something that's been floating in my head that I haven't seen anyone do yet so thank you for reading. Xx 

Pt. 5 will be up tomorrow or late Wednesday :) 

[astrumstilla]

     Alys has no clear memories of that night -- the night she hid herself under Kian’s sheets, telling parts of her life story to him. However, she does remember the crying and how her throat hurt from talking through the tears. How she she rambled on, trying to convince him she hadn’t lied -- trying to convince him to stay. Her tears, more than anything, due to her own fears of losing him that night. They hadn’t continued much of that one-sided conversation since, had they? At this point it’s been....years....

     She’d been so afraid of him leaving her that she’d kept quiet. Always afraid of doing something wrong--of saying something he didn’t like...She dumped quite a lot on him that night. Just enough, but not too much. Bits and pieces brought up here and there,sure, but not the whole story. One thing Alys loves about their relationship is the openness they have -- the trust they’ve built. Though, she’s always had a tough time finding the right moment to bring this particular subject up.

     It’d been a quiet night. Alys using his stomach as a pillow as she stare up at the fairy lights in his room. “...is it okay if...” she sighs. “If we can talk? I...can talk?” she turns to look at him, waiting for his okay. “--it’s not fair that I....I mean...” Oh, no. This really is just as hard as she imagined. “You always share these stories about you growing up and I feel like I know more about you than you know about me and...I don’t know...I feel bad about not sharing.” She’s shared just about everything except --

     “I...I had a girlfriend in middle school. I was...I was stupid. I latched onto the first person who said they loved me and I fell for it. I believed every word she said and it sure got me into a lot of trouble.”

      Unlike the other time, Alys didn’t hide. Instead she faced him, bringing his hand into her own and keeping it close. “You know those obsessive manipulative partners you hear in stories? Well, that’s pretty much her. We were only...what? Like 13? It was my first relationship and I just...I thought it was normal. She...she convinced me to do a lot of things. I started skipping school. I...she had these friends...they’d go around stealing from the local convenience store a lot. One of them was really into graffiti. I tried to fit in. Tried to get them to like me. Funny story, that’s actually how I met JJ!”

     She perked up, the smile returning to her face all whilst she continued to fiddle around with his fingers. “He was so little!,” she laughs. “So little, but he came looking for me. He found out he had a sister and found me. Pretty good detective work for a kid. Though, he never told me we were related. We’d just...hang out after school. I taught him how to play guitar and he’d geek out about space and his big plans on being an astronaut. That’s...when I stopped paying attention to my ex. We started drifting a part for the better, but she didn’t like that. She did what she thought would make me want to stay. She’s the one who told me about my dad. About Jay. I...actually have a half-sister who...still hates me...” she sighs. “Can’t blame her...”

     “In true psycho ex-girlfriend fashion, she wanted to off my sister.” Alys furrowed her brows, still perplexed by the insanity of it all. “She told me we were going to watch a movie, but instead she and her friends took me to my dad’s house. Told me about my family and...I don’t...it all happened so fast. I started running, she caught me. Someone broke a window. They started a fire. Next thing I know I...” she hesitates, her hold on his hand loosening. “Next thing I know I’m standing there with a knife to Jay’s chest.”

     “Thankfully it all turned out okay. Though, he still has the scar. I never found out what happened to him ‘till I moved here and started school. I spent four years thinking he was dead. He thought the same thing about me, actually. Dad wasn’t all too happy when he found out I was still alive. So, he wanted me locked away. My ex even sided with him, can you believe that? She helped turn me in for something she started! I was sent to juvie....thinking my brother was dead, learning my dad was alive and how much he hated me, and betrayed by the one person who I thought loved me. It was....rough in there. I...” So far she’d been calm and collected. Her composure never faltering ‘until now. It’s not something you openly talk about. Not something anyone expects to hear. Alys had wondered how much was too much. How much Kian should know...whether or not he’d even want to know....

     She told herself she wouldn’t cry. She’d made it this far, but she started to falter. Not even Anika -- not even Jay -- neither of them knew what she’d gone through in there. “I tried to....” she sighs. “ If the guards hadn’t found me in time I would’ve...died,” she whispers.

     “The next day I was let go. Free. My ex and her friends were caught. I don’t know the specifics. I...was homeless after that. With my record, no foster home wanted me. It was a rough few months, but I met a woman named Anya who happened to have an apartment for rent and had a soft spot for kids. I didn’t have any money, so my rent was ‘good grades in school’. Weird, right? She helped me enroll in school and gave me clothes and furniture for my place. It took a while, but I started to get the hang of living on my own. She even helped me find a job. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

     Alys brought his hand up to her lips and gave him a kiss. “Thanks to her and thanks to my brother, here I am with you.”

     “It took a while to process everything that happened. I started therapy in high school because of it. Sometimes I still go, though I mostly talk about school and career stuff now. Sometimes about my...Jay’s dad. He visits sometimes. He usually gives a heads up and I avoid going out when he’s around. Though, I’ve been caught by surprise a few times and I’ve gotten hurt because of it. That’s....one thing I haven’t been honest about with you. I’m sorry. I just...I know how worried you get and I didn’t want to burden you. I...”

     “I’m sorry my life’s such a mess. Sorry I brought you into it, Ki.”

@xaconite​

[enchantingexile]

Hey! I love your writing❤ can you write something for kian! Just singing and cuddling together and he admits his in love with her or something?

“Kiki, where you at?” You yell as you walk through the door of the boys house, hands filled with all the necessities for a sleep over and movie marathon. Your bag was filled to the brim with all kinds of snacks that you know youse weren’t going to finish.

“In here!” He yells back, you make your way to the direction of his voice which led you to his bedroom, but it didn’t look like his bedroom anymore because he had covered the whole place in sheets to create a fort for the night.

“Oh my god, Kian. This is incredible” You stand at his door in shock, you really weren’t expecting this at all. “Are you going to give me a tour or do I only get to see it from the outside?”

“Oh but of course, come in side my lady” He bows and gestures for you to go in the fort through the makeshift door.

“Why thank you, sir” You curtsy then crawl through only to be surprised by strings of fairy lights hanging and pillows littering the floor, comfort calling for you. “This is perfect, lets get this marathon started”

You pull him in through the gap of the sheets and he lands on top of you. “Nice of you to drop in” You laugh from underneath him while pushing him off and moving across the space to get set up. You put on the movie he would expect the most, tangled. Everyone knew it was his favourite movie and what kind of marathon would it be if Tangled wasn’t involved. His smile lights up the small space even more when he sees the movie opener.

“You’ll never guess what movie it is” You laugh and snuggle into his arm and he laughs at you, he knows you well enough to know that you would put that movie on for him.

“I appreciate it, but we don’t have to watch this every time you know?”

“I know, but I like watching your favourite movie with you” You turn in his arm to look at him and poke his cheek and then rolling back to find a comfortable position to continue watching the movie, as the movie plays Kian draws shapes on your arm absent-mindedly.

Even though you were watching the movie, all you could think about was Kian’s hand on your arm sending shivers down your spine with just a mere touch. You and Kian sang along to the songs as the movie played out up until the lantern scene where the duet was coming up next.

“Ooh Ki, you sing Eugene’s part and I’ll sing Rapunzel’s” You sit up excitedly getting ready to sing your heart out, you look back at him and he smiles at you. The start of the song begins and you sing along with Rapunzel to ‘I see the light’.

When her part is finished the music keeps playing as it prepares for the next part of the song which Kian was supposed to sing. But he never starts, he just sits there as Eugene sings in the background. You can see something is wrong and you didn’t know what had happened within the few minutes that you were singing.

“You okay, Kian?” You were concerned because he never acted like this around you.

“I love you” He says blatantly as you sit there in shock, not really sure of how to reply to him. “You don’t have to say anything” He says and reaches for your hand before continuing. “You are the Rapunzel to my Eugene, I have known that I’ve loved you for a while now but only just gained the courage to tell you and I couldn’t stop myself when I heard you singing to one of my favourite movies”

When he stops talking and you pull him in closer to you “Kian Lawley, I love you so much.”

[rangerofpelor]

rosebush waltz

Kian stresses and Merit helps. [Kian+Merit, with mentions of Kian’s mentor. 1.6k. Summer Courtiers AU.]

Merit is @krshush‘s character who they have so lovingly given me to smoosh with my boy Kian. I hope I captured your boy well enough *nervous sweating*

Inspired by a series of prompts (the color green, coming home, and first kiss) KR had sent me a while ago and I guess I finally got around to filling those prompts.

Kian’s heart races in his chest as large chamber doors fall shut behind him. Nianeth had brought him with her as her student to help her present progress in her research to the High Lords and Ladies, but when it came time time, he was immediately dismissed. He’s unsure whether to be relieved or not. Anxiety played with his stomach like a ragdoll the entire trip to the Summer Palace.

He’d been in equal parts nervous and excited to stand before the Court and discuss the effects of natural Feywild magic on objects from the Prime Material Plane versus the effects of arcane. Nianeth had given him free reign over certain aspects of the research, and, although he had been sure to check in with her through every step of the way -- explaining his reasoning for everything from sources to phrasing of arguments -- he was not fond of being absent and unable to defend his work.

He was even less fond of the idea of Nianeth taking the blame for any mistakes he might have made. She may be one of the Spire of Knowledge’s most prestigious scholars, but not even she was free from the potential wrath of the High Lords and Ladies.

He walks briskly through the halls of the Summer Palace, mentally picking through his research, line by line. There were no spelling or grammatical errors, he was sure of that. Had he correctly quantified everything? Was there a scenario he didn’t account for? Were all of his arguments truly sound?

A chill runs through his veins, bringing with it a Winter thought. If there is so much as one mistake they will never make me an official Spire scholar.

Kian shudders and picks up his pace, making his way towards the Palace Gardens. He needs air. He needs heat. Something to keep him grounded in Summer.

He emerges into the courtyard and he breathes in a deep sigh of relief. The overwhelming aroma of sweet pea, roses, lavender, and honey flood his senses and he tilts his head back, turning his face to sun. Muscles he had not realized were tense relax, and a small, gentle sigh escapes his lips. He must have looked a fool to anyone already in the gardens, but for once, he did not particularly care.

Regaining his composure, bringing his heart rate down to something that resembles normal, he begins to walk the footpath, past the ponds and through the topiary menagerie. He’s about to turn towards the small orchard of fig trees when he hears familiar, melodic, bell like laughter carried on the breeze. A laugh he’s only heard the handful of times he’s been to the Summer Palace. A laugh that’s accompanied by an impish grin and gleaming blue eyes that have a way of making Kian flush from neck to ears.

Merit is somewhere in the gardens, and if Kian’s ears are not deceiving him, he’s somewhere in the hedge maze.

Kian’s feet carry him towards the towering rose bushes and he peers down the narrow corridor. The faint rustle of leaves to his right. Notes of glee in the laughter when Kian decides to follow it. He weaves his way through the maze. A left, two rights, forward for a spell, before the last turn brings him to a dead end with Merit sitting in the shade of a small gazebo.

Merit greets him with a smile, pushing himself up off the bench and bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Took you long enough, my dear knight.”

Kian steadfastly ignores the way Merit’s hair flounces as he moves and the deep plunge of the neckline of his light cotton shirt. “I am here as a scholar, today. Not a knight,” he says.

“‘Dear scholar’ doesn’t have the same ring to it,” Merit responds, waving his hand dismissively. “Though, I must say, you look just as fetching out of uniform as you do in.”

And there’s that flush, crawling up Kian’s neck and into his face. Each time they’ve met, Merit has teased with increasing vigor, and, spirits save him, Kian is unable to find it within himself to tell Merit to stop. He makes a harsh noise in the back of his throat, something between a cough and clearing it. “What are we doing here, Merit?”

Merit shrugs, his entire shirt billowing with the movement. “You were the one who followed me.”

Kian raised his eyebrows. “You are the one who wished to be followed.”

Merit puts his hands on his hips and cocks his head, biting the inside of his cheek. Kian can only assume he’s trying to decide whether he wants to keep playing games or simply cut to the point. He already has Kian where he wants him, and there’s very little to stop Kian from walking away if he got too frustrated.

Merit makes his decision. “A dance,” he says plainly.

Kian frowns. “I beg your pardon?”

“No need to beg, dear Knight.” The flush of Kian’s face reddens, but he doesn’t miss the mischievous and amused quirk of Merit’s lips. “I want a dance. With you. Rumor has it you’re quite good at the four-step.”

Kian looks at their surroundings. The gazebo was only maybe eight feet in diameter, meant for intimate picnics or secret rendezvous between lovers. There might have been enough room for the gentle rocking of slow dance, but certainly not a four-step. “I hardly think this is an appropriate place for that.”

Merit sighs. “Maybe, but the past few times we’ve met have been during formal dances, and all those times you’ve been busy.”

“It is my duty to guard and protect the High Lords and Ladies and to embody the diligence of the Spire of Knowledge during such occasions.”

“Which means that I never get to invite you onto the dancefloor.” Merit steps closer, taking one of Kian’s much larger hands into his own. Something shifts in Merit’s demeanor in that moment. Sharp, impish features and gleaming eyes soften and morph into something more sincere. “I can tell you’re troubled by something. Let me help you take your mind off what’s bothering you.”

Kian blinks, gasping quietly when his heart flutters strangely in his chest. The hand Merit is holding suddenly feels sweaty and he hopes that Merit either can’t tell, or thinks it’s the Summer Palace heat. He considers Merit, takes in his petite frame. The top of his head barely surpasses Kian’s broad shoulders. So small and light, Kian thinks for a moment that he could probably pick him up with one hand. His tongue feels heavy, like wet wool, but he manages to stammer out a “Very well,” and allows Merit to lead him under the gazebo.

Getting into the starting position is a little awkward. Merit has to reach up to wrap his arm around Kian’s shoulder, and Kian is forced to stoop down to comfortably place his hand at Merit’s waist. There is a brief pause before Kian begins to lead, taking small steps as they circulate around the gazebo, birdsong in place of a string quartet.

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three.

They fall into the easy rhythm, bodies coming closer together with each step, until they finish, back at the center of the gazebo, pressed tightly together in an embrace. Kian’s lips are parted, his chest heaving slightly, not because he’s out of breath from the dance, but for some other reason. Merit is just the same. He looks up at Kian from beneath dark, thick lashes and he licks his lips. “Tell me, dear Knight,” he says quietly, “what would you do if I kissed you?”

Kian’s breathing hitches. “I…,” he murmurs, pausing to choose his next words carefully, “would not resist.”

Merit hums, moving his hand to run through the long, silky sheet of Kian’s hair, pulling him closer. “And if I asked you to kiss me?”

They’re so close now Kian can smell the honeysuckle and wisteria growing in Merit’s hair, feel his breath on his face. His eyes flick from Merit’s deep blue eyes to his lips, before he licks his own. “I would,” Kian says, barely more than a whisper, an exhalation given voice.

“Then kiss me, Kian.”

There’s something about the way Merit says those words that make Kian unable to resist. It isn’t desperation. Not quite. Desire, perhaps? No one has ever wanted Kian. His square jaw and hard, bulky frame often considered unattractive to other eladrin and fey. But there’s a plea in Merit’s voice, in his eyes that makes it clear that he wants Kian, but only if Kian also wants him too.

And Kian wants. Wants Merit. Wants a distraction. Wants to not feel like he’s falling into Winter like he had been only a short time ago.

He leans down, presses his lips against Merits, grounding himself solidly back in Summer. The kiss is quick, chaste, a little bit clumsy. He’s never kissed anyone before and it’s embarrassingly obvious. He half misses Merit’s mouth, getting more cheek than he had intended. When he pulls back his lips are left tingling slightly and he can’t help their slight upward curve.

Merit is laughing, amusement and delight glittering in his eyes. “I think you might need some work,” he teases. The flush returns to Kian’s face. “It’s ok,” Merit continues. “I’m more than willing to help you practice.”

Kian straightens his back, gently pulling his limbs away from Merit’s body. He can only describe what he feels as disappointment at the loss of heat and contact. He clears his throat once more. “You are incorrigible,” he says, his voice returning to normal volume.

Merit smiles. “And you, my dear, are wound too tight.” He takes Kian’s hand again and begins to lead him out of the maze. “Now come. I hear the botanists have just planted some flowers only found in the far edges of the Wilds, and I’ve been dying to see them!”

Kian allows himself to be led through the gardens like a child. Truth be told, he’s been dying to see those flowers too.

[hysterialyywrites]

The Things My Synesthesia Shows Me

The moment I was born, my mind has only known black. As any other 22-year-old adult, this is probably what most of us would say if asked about anything we remembered the day we were born. Looking back on it now, I can say this was the start of my 'Tutorial' in the game known as 'Life'.

My Tutorial, as my mother described, was nothing but sleepless nights and stressed out fights and 24/7 diaper changes between her and my father. My dad almost gave up halfway through my Tutorial, saying it was way too much to handle in a man's lifetime, but my mom countered by saying he was much more of a baby than I was at 3 months old, and Dad, despite himself, burst out laughing at my mother's snarky remark, and volunteered to change my diaper the next day. That was when I learned of the color white, the color of peace and simplicity, of birth and of innocence, and a year after I was born I finished my Tutorial, and was ready to start Level 1.                                                              * * *

Level 1, as my father described, was a blur of tears as he witnessed my first steps, and my mother shook her head at my father's simple fragility and called him a cry baby ever since (my father believes he is a strong man, so my mother never let him live it down). He got way too excited and took the whole family out to the park the next day, and my mother set up a feast with her selected weapons of picnic basket and checkered blanket, backed by her mighty homemade sandwiches and brilliant hot tea, and that was when I learned of the color yellow, the color of joy and sunshine, of hope and happiness; the color of my mother's laughter as she watched my father become a superhero for the sake of my amazement, and years later I was on my way to my very first day of school at Level 5. Simply put, I was terrified. Suprisingly enough, I was able to remember that far. I remember clutching onto my mother's shirt, telling her I wanted to go home, but she pulled me away to face me, and she told me I was going to be fine with a kiss of my forehead. All of a sudden I was dragged away by a hand that was foreign, with time I have learned that belonged to my teacher, and was suddenly introduced to the color of grey, the color of discomfort, the color of confusion, and up to this day this is the color I liked least.                                                             * * *

I first learned of the color pink when I met a girl who goes by the name of Lilia, whose voice when heard reminded me of acceptance, tenderness, and calm. She was at Level 5 too, the same as I was, and we made a silent agreement to make it to Level 6 together that day we met at the playground, sealing the deal with a pinky promise under the warm afternoon sun. Later on we realized how easy it was to level up together, with our birthdays being literally right next to each other on the calendar, and 5 years later we made it to middle school at Level 11.

In those 5 years I've had with Lily, as I have chosen to call her, I have learned of three more colors: green, the color of youth and vigor as she dragged me all the way to the woods behind the school to have me listen to the hummingbirds sing; blue, the color of calm and stability as she hugged me tight and covered my ears as I was shivering in fear, thunder resounding at horrible intervals outside my window; and red, the color of both love and war as she defended me against the kids who made fun of me for accidentally wearing my shirt the wrong way to school one day. To this day, I have no idea how I would've made it this far without Lilia's pink.

                                                            * * *

It was at Level 12 when I first learned of the color of sadness. I met my grandmother at Level 6, and she played the most beautiful Salut d'Amour I'd ever heard on piano. I insisted she teach me how to play, despite the fact I might find it difficult to read sheet music, and after days of annoying her 'till she agreed to teach me how to play the song, she finally gave in, telling me I was much like my father. Until now I never learned how to read sheet music; I never really wanted to, but ask me to play Salut d'Amour and my sound almost rivals my grandmother, however I could never quite match up to her. There was something quite different about the way she played, and I never learned her secret as she passed away at my Level 12. When I played the piece for the first time since her passing, I was introduced to the color grey once again. It wasn't just discomfort and confusion now, it was sadness as well, and I liked it less ever since. I never played the song again.                                                             * * *

Level 16, and I was surprised to hear my grandmother's sound in a boy's violin. It was the color of... unpredictability. Sometimes I see blue, sometimes red, sometimes yellow, and one time I was introduced to the color orange, the color of warmth, energy, and balance. For the first time ever in this game I've been playing, I was not introduced to a color; I was introduced to a painting. In this boy and his sound I have witnessed the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen, each time welcoming my ears as I stop in front of the music room to revel in the sight and the feeling. This was routine activity ever since me and Lily decided to walk around the school a bit before we went home one day, and Lily's been all up in my face ever since. She even found out what class he was in and went as far as to ask around for his name.

“Just for your sake,” she says, “his name is Kian.”

I don't admit it, because she sees it in my face anyway, but I can remember what red feels like when I hear him play his violin.                                                             * * *

Day and night I have been enamored with the sight of his sunsets, and every single time I am amazed with the war that forms in the colors I've known for so long; the joy of yellow engulfed in the warmth of orange, cradled all around by the calm of blue that encompasses the sky, and just when I thought this was as far as I could go, Kian suddenly stopped playing, picked up my presence, and invited me inside. He got ahold of my hand and led me to the piano. My mind was in turmoil and I was a mess of red and green and orange. I sat down.

“Andrea, right?”

Even his voice was a song in itself. 

“Um, yeah. How did you know who I was?”

I silently gave myself a pat on the back for not messing that up.

“You're pretty famous for playing the piano without ever looking down at the keys.”

So even he knows about it.

“But I can only play one song. I can't even read sheet music.”

“Even for you, that's a whole new level of amazing.”

“You're amazing.”

Wait, what did I just say?

“What?”

“I said thank you.”

I could feel him smirking behind the piano.

“I was pretty sure you said something else.”

“Well I didn't peg you to be the cocky type.”

He laughed, and I laughed with him.

“Can you play the song for me?”

But I haven't played in ages.

“I can try.”

“Try?”

“It's just that... I haven't played for so long.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “you'll be fine, don't worry.”

And for some odd reason, I believed him, despite this being our first actual conversation.

My hands found the keys, and I let my instincts take over. They remembered the song for me, and I gladly followed suit. I played the first half surprisingly well, but I almost lost myself when Kian started playing his violin in time with my fingers; just when I thought sunsets made the prettiest paintings, the entire canvas rolled over and showed me a sky dotted with the moon and stars. In great contrast to the war of colors in sunsets, the truce in white and blue was found in our little duet, and I found myself lost in this world of night. As the song came to an end, I was faced with a lilac sky, the coming of dawn, as he said,

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

“You know Sarah Williams?” I asked in surprise.

“The Old Astronomer,” he smiled.                                                             * * *

Level 18, and Kian and I were given the honor to play Salut d'Amour in our graduation gowns, the hall silent with nothing but our painting of the night sky, along with the pink of Lilia staining her face, the blue of my father's tears evident next to my mother's yellow smile, and right as the song ended and gave rise to that very familiar lilac sky, Kian guided me from the piano to the front of the stage, holding my hand, and bowed to the audience before us. The cheers that erupted gave me red, yellow, orange, green, and I was so overwhelmed that I held Kian tighter, and he leaned in close amidst the chaos and told me the very same words that showed me red and blue, the very same words that make up my lilac sky.                                                             * * *

Level 22, and I narrate my story to a sniffling Lily to my right as she hastily jots down my sentences word for word, and I am introduced to the color brown as Kian makes his way to us and sets down the cups of coffee on the table. He sits next to me and holds my hand as I narrate to Lily, who is still crying for no good reason—

“There is a very good reason why I'm crying my eyes out.”

I see the comforting pink swirl in my vision.

“Yes, Lily. Of course you do.”

“Aw, she's pouting Andrea, cut her some slack.” 

I see the calming lilac sky surround my mind's eye.

“No, it's fine Kian. I love her way too much to stay mad at her. I'm just... so proud of you Drea, you know? No one would've ever thought you'd go this far. Myself excluded.”

“Nice save, Lily,” I heard Kian say.

Level 22, and I've learned how to properly play the piano, even though I still can't read sheet music. Kian and I have been doing a number of performances for as long as I can remember, and I guess we've gotten a lot of recognition ever since.

Level 22, and my game is far from done.

My name is Andrea, I play the piano as Kian's accompaniment, and I was blind since the day I was born.

Written: March 10, 2016

[riacannafon-writer]

F.E.A.R. Chapter Two

(I couldn't fit it all in, but there's nothing really important to the plot after the end here.)

The suspicious smell of blood filled my nose as I woke up. My first panic-induced thought was to check if my arm had started bleeding again. Not that. Looking down at the bed I saw a red puddle on the sheets. I panicked even more until the realisation hit me. Or, at least, the cramps did.

    Period. Great.

    I stretched out my aching limbs and groggily got up. I peeled off my leggings, now soaked and crusting with my...situation, and pulled out a fresh pair from some forgotten corner of my room. I found a rag in my drawer wiped away the first from my legs before I stuffed it in the new leggings and slipped them on. Turning back to my bed, I yanked the sheets off and went downstairs with it all bundled in my arms. I got to the bottom of the staircase when I realised: I forgot the leggings. I dumped the sheets where I stood and dragged myself back upstairs. I came back - with the leggings - to find the sheets gone. Athen awkwardly poked his head round the corner.

    "I - uhm, I took those sheets to the washroom." He glanced at the clothing in my hand and slapped a hand to his mouth, bolting outside. I pulled on my leather boots and trotted after him, once again leaving the leggings wherever they landed.

    I found Athen bent double against the shed wall. He probably threw up.

    "You okay there?" He raised a shaky thumbs up.

    "Fine," he said. "It's just...so much blood!" He swivelled round to face me, pale face full of confusion. "How...? How do you lose that much blood and live?! Just yesterday you almost passed out from your arm!"

    I took hold of his shoulder and said quietly, "I have about as much of a clue as you."

    I walked him back inside with the promise of me making his favourite for breakfast - sausage and egg. Before that, though, I brought the soiled leggings round to the washroom and threw them along with the sheets to soak in buckets of water. Just as I got back into the kitchen, another wave of stabbing cramps came. I hit my fist onto the worktop and sucked in a deep breath before getting on with breakfast.

    Pretty soon, we were both sat down at the table eating our eggs and sausages. One of my eggs somehow exploded so I now had some yolk plastered to my face.

    Afterwards, I went back to the washroom to try and scrub the worst of the stains off. I had mostly succeeded, but some of the blood had completely absorbed into the fabric.

    It's good enough, I thought, and hung them out to dry.

    It was a beautiful day out; the sky was a vibrant blue speckled with a few fluffy clouds here and there. A warm breeze lingered in the air, and a few sparrows danced amongst the bushes.

    I turned around and saw Athen pruning the wall of passion flowers, discarding the dead flowers and leaves into one basket while the useful ones went into another.

    I opened the door to the old wooden shed and coughed away the now-disturbed dust. Filling another basket with some tools, I headed back outside to the sage patch. I picked out some of the plants and tossed them into the empty basket. I walked back over to Athen and, upon seeing that his was full, stacked my basket on top of his. Picking up the two, I brought them over to the cart, beside which our ocard, Hydrane, stood in his pen.

    When he noticed me, he snorted and pranced a little, even trying to playfully bite at my shirt as I passed. I glanced at his food bucked and saw it was empty. Time for his breakfast. I left the baskets in the cart and went to the cool room to get Hydrane his fish.

    I returned with the bucket full of salmon, trout, minnows, sardines and an eel or two. I hadn't even got the bucket over the fence before Hydrane had his face shoved into the bucket, fish bones crunching as he chewed. Giving him a pat on his scaly neck, I left him to it while I went back and forth, bringing baskets and equipment to the cart and organising it into less of a mess.

    After another hour or so of work, when the sun was now high in the sky, Athen and I hitched up Hydrane to the cart and set off for town.

    As most of the road was uphill, we each took turns in who sat up front with the reins and who walked alongside the cart to push where needed.

    The bridge soon came into direct view. Four guards stood in the path instead of the usual two. They stopped us as we approached, and three of them went round to check the baskets. The fourth came straight to me, probably because I was the one walking.

    "Can I help you, sir?" I asked.

    "Names," he said, voice brittle enough to make me want to blow my nose.

    "Arietta and Athen Marescot."

    "You trading the stuff in that cart?" He nodded to the two-dozen-or-so baskets.

    "Yes, I sell herbal remedies and medicines in the marketplace square."

    "May I see your license and market book?"

    I pulled out the requested items from my satchel and handed them to the guard. As he read through the license document, I took note of his appearance: greying blond hair, dark eyes that sunk into his head, a nose so crooked it looked as though it was still broken and the overall look of a man used to life in the capital, Imperium.

    He produced a charcoal pencil from behind his ear and signed my market book as proof of authorisation. The other guards came back just after.

    "All's clear, Lieutenant. They're good to go."

    Athen and I bid them farewell and continued along the bridge. Town was it's usual, bustling self: people jumping from one stall to the next, stall owners announcing new discounts, new products. A one-man-band played in the square, and children danced around him. The smell of freshly baked goods made what was already a lovely place seem that much better.

    We reached our stall, where the sign reading 'Marescot Medicine' stood, proud and vibrant. Athen un-hitched Hydrane from the cart and led him over to the water trough where a couple more ocards stood. I made a start with unpacking and organising the baskets of herbs, tools and general equipment. Once that was done, I rang the overhead bell to show the stall was now open.

    Almost immediately, a young boy - perhaps ten or twelve - shyly came up to me.

    "Excuse me, Miss?"

    "How can I help you today, young sir?" I put on my most friendly smile for the kid, who perked up a little.

    "My brother's not well. He keeps being sick." 

    "I see. How old is he?"

    "Seven, Miss."

    "Do you want to know a secret medicine for stomach bugs like this?" I tapped my nose and winked at him. His face immediately lit up with excitement and he nodded his head vigorously. I beckoned him closer and made a big gesture of looking to see that nobody was watching, he did the same.

    "Ginger and mint tea ought to do the trick. Do you know how to make it?" The boy shook his head. "Want me to show you?" He nodded again. I brought him round to behind the counter where the rows of baskets and equipment was.

    "The first thing you do," I said, lighting a fire under the small cauldron already filled with water. "Is to start boiling some water."

    Athen came back from leaving some fish for Hydrane at the trough. He saw me showing the boy the cauldron and went to man the counter. When the water was bubbling nicely, I looked over and picked up a ginger root which I showed to the boy.

    "This is ginger root. Now, what you do with this is you cut some of it off and throw it in the boiling water." I demonstrated as he watched on in awe. "We leave that there for a few minutes."

    Athen passed us to get some seasoning for a customer.

    The boy piped up, "Is it done yet?"

    "No," I giggled. "No, not yet."

    "Oh. I'm Kian."

    "Nice to meet you, Kian, I'm Arietta. Call me Ari if you like."

    "Oi, Ari," Athen gestured to the cauldron. "Think the ginger's done."

    "Well, that was quick." I grabbed a glass flask, a cloth and a ladle before turning my attention to the ginger. "Hold this for me?" I held out the flask for Kian to take and took out the cork.

    I scooped out the ginger with the ladle and dropped it straight on to the cloth in my hand. Mabye not the best idea, but it's  the most straightforward one.

    I bundled up the ginger and turned to the flask. Kian held it out to me and I strained the ginger extract into it.

    "What about the mint?" He squeaked.

    "That's what we do next," I said. "It's the same method, but with mint leaves instead."

    We went through the process again with the mint leaves, and ended up with a flask of a golden-brown liquid.

    "When you get home, Kian, warm it back up by putting the flask in warm water. Then you can give it to your brother," I instructed. Kian stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out two brass quides and a pebble.

    "That's all I've got. Is it enough?" It was a little below the usual price (four quides and ten pennies), but I was willing to let him off.

    "Because you've been such a good helper," I closed his hand around the quides and pebble. "You can have it for free."

    Kian's little round face lit up with a contagious grin. I felt the stitches on my cheek pull, perhaps a little more than they should.

    "Are you sure? It's okay if I just...take it?"

    "Of course." I ruffled his dusty hair a bit. "It's yours."

    "Thank you! Thank you so much, Miss!" He jumped forward and wrapped his short arms around my waist, squeezing a little too hard over my bruises and scrapes.

    I quietly took in a sharp breath, awkwardly giving Kian a gentle tap on the shoulder. Thankfully, he released me and - still with that bright grin of his - thanked me one more time before running off down the street to a lean woman. The woman (whom I presume to be his mother) took the flask and followed Kian's pointed finger to me with her gaze. She smiled, waved, and carried on with her day as Kian trotted along beside her.

    "Excuse me, ma'am?" A voice brought me back to my senses. I whipped around to see two guards, one of whom had the Kingdom's crest engraved into his breastplate.

    "How...how can I be of service, sir?" My heart picked up the pace. Shit, I thought. Shit, shit, shit it's about last night, isn't it? He knows. He knows it's me.

    "May I speak to the owner of this stall?"

    "The owner is currently speaking."

    "Can you bring them here? It's important."

    "Of course! I'll be right back." I smiked brightly and walked out to the back of the stall, out of the guard's sight, waited a moment, and went back to the counter. I leaned my elbow on the wood. Bad idea: an arrow of pain shot up my arm, but I couldn't let it show. "Arietta Marescot. I'm the owner."

    The Captain flushed scarlet, but his companion burst out into laughter.

    "See, Darren? This is why I tell you to be a little more open-minded! You'll never know who you're talking to," he cackled, slapping the Captain - Darren, I assume - hard on the back.

    He glared at the other guard. "I apologise for my assumption."

    "Apology accepted. Don't worry about it, though, I get it a lot."

    "I came to ask if you've seen anything...odd, lately." That familiar voice told me he was definitely the guard from last night, but this time he wore no helmet. He had a young face of just less than thirty, with his copper hair cut short.

    "If by "odd", you mean boils on an old man's back the size of a denar, yeah - I've seen some pretty odd stuff recently."

    "That's not -"

    "I have nothing but pure respect for you," the second guard interrupted.

    "As I was saying," Darren said, clearly trying to keep his voice even. "That's not what I meant. I mean if you've seen anything - or anyone - suspicious around."

    "No, sir. I haven't."

    "Please let me know if you do. There was an assassination last night, the culprit got away by jumping off the bridge. We couldn't find her body."

    May as well throw them off my trail.

    "Well, I found footprints by the river this morning. Down near my house; I'll take you there later, if you like." They took the bait.

    "We'll meet you back here."

    I nodded. Something itched my cheek, but I ignored it. Darren squinted at me unsurely, and the other guard spoke up.

    "Erm, Miss? Your..." He gestured to his cheek, and I instinctively reached up to wipe it.

    My hand came away smeared with blood and thread.

    "Ah, fuck." I held my other hand to the cut as I fumbled through a basket for a spare cloth.

    "Ari, what have I told you about swearing so much?" Athen came up to me, saw the blood and panicked. Again. "Holy shit!"

    "Hypocrite."

    Athen suddenly turned to the guards, "What happened?"

    "I don't know! Her cheek just started bleeding!" The second guard also started getting a tad panicky.

    "Athen," I said. He was too busy faffing around with trying to get the guards to tell him exactly what happened. "Athen!"

    "What?!"

    "For goodness sake, calm down! It wasn't stitched properly, that's all! You can quit running about like a headless turkey now."

    "Calm down?" His voice rose to a shout. "You expect me to calm down?! You're standing there, bleeding for no reason! How can you expect me to be calm when I'm worried sick about what might have happened?!" Athen's voice cracked and his eyes started to get watery.

    "I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: I'm fine! There is nothing for you to worry about, I can handle myself just fine. Constantly worrying about my wellbeing will never do you any good!"

    Athen huffed and stormed off, probably over to the water trough where Hydrane was.

    Throughout this, Darren and the second guard both stood there, exchanging awkward glances. I'd thrown the cloth at some point, and it now lay in a sad heap on the floor. I picked it up and again pressed it to the cut. The second guard moved towards me.

    "Don't," I said quietly. "It's fine, I can do it myself."

    "If I were to let you struggle with that alone, what kind of a gentleman would I be?" He winked playfully and came round anyway.

    "I'll go check on Athen." Darren strode off to the trough.

    I picked up some thread and a needle from the equipment basket and sat down on a stool in the corner. The guard crouched down in front of me and took the cloth from my hand, gently dabbing away the blood.

    "Oliver Dawson," he said.

    "Sorry?"

    "Oliver Dawson, that's my name." I felt a little stupid now.

    "Is there any reason you're spontaneously introducing yourself?" I smiled, thankful for the conversation.

    "No, not really."

    Silence descended once more like a mist. I took the time to take in Oliver's features: bronze hair trimmed short like Darren's, lightly tanned skin, russet brown eyes, soft jawline set in concentration. He was perhaps around my age, nineteen.

    "Is there anything I can use to clean the cut?" He dropped the cloth on the counter and stood up.

    "There's water in the cauldron." I gestured over to the metal pot.

    "I meant something more along the lines of disinfectant."

    "I knew that," I said quickly. I could feel my face getting warm with embarrassment, so I got up and turned away to face the baskets. "I'll go make some."

    "Absolutely not."

    I squeaked as Oliver scooped me up and placed me back down on the stool. "You stay there. Just talk me through it, I'll sort it out."

    "Let me guess: you're too much of a 'gentleman' to let a lady with a little scratch do her job?"

    "Exactly," he replied. Oliver turned to the rows of baskets, completely confused and lost. I rolled my eyes and stifled a laugh.

    "Witch hazel."

    "Where...?"

    "First basket on the left."

    Oliver nodded, "I knew that."

    "If you could pass me about half a handful, that'd be enough."

    Oliver raised his eyebrows.

    "Didn't I say I'd do it for you?"

    I protested a little before giving in. "Fine," I sighed. "Boil it for a while, then bring to simmer."

    The minutes passed quickly while somehow feeling like they were dragged out. I told him what to do and, soon enough, he was once again crouched in front of me, applying the disinfectant to my cheek. I had just handed Oliver the needle and thread when a voice appeared by the counter.

    "I need medicine. Now. I've got some kind of infection." A man stood leaning over the wood. Everything about him just screamed 'I live in Imperium'.

        "If you could just hang on a moment, I'll be with you as soon as I can, sir." I motioned for Oliver to hold off with the stitches for a second.

    "But it's serious!"

    "All right," I muttered. I got up and walked to face the man. "What's the problem?"

    "I already told you, didn't I? I've got an infection of sorts!"

    "I'm gonna need you to be more specific. I can't provide proper treatment, otherwise."

    "Fine," he grunted, clearly annoyed. "It started two days ago. I woke up, coughing and sneezing. My nose feels blocked and it makes it difficult to breathe."

    "Sounds like a common cold to me."

    "It's not!" He shouted. "It's an infection! I'm not cold!"

    "But that's literally what you described: a common cold. It'll pass in a week or so, just don't strain yourself."

    "What do you know?" His face began to turn red with anger. "I demand to speak with the manager right now!"

    "Of course, sir. Wait here." I exchanged an amused glance with Oliver as I turned to walk out back. Went over to the water trough where Athen and Darren were.

    "I'm sorry about just now," said Athen. "I know I overreacted."

    "No, it's my fault. I'm always worrying you."

    "What's up with that guy at the stall?" Darren asked. "We could hear him from over here."

    "I'm about to get that sorted out. Want to come watch?" They both nodded. "Great. Now, let's get Hydrane."

    "Hydrane? What's he got to do with it?" Athen stared at me as I untied Hydrane's lead. I only winked in reply. I led them back to the stall, leaving the ocard just out of sight.

    "It's about time you got back," Oliver whispered to us. "This guy's insane."

    The man took one look at Athen and immediately became more polite. "You must be the manager! You see, I have some kind of infection, and this girl -" (He pointed to me) "- is being of no help!"

    "He's not the manager," I giggled. "I am."

    "You - you're making a fool of me! Do you know who I am?"

    "Clearly not."

    "Perhaps I should inform the town's Captain that you are adamant on denying me the respect I deserve."

    Behind me, Darren cleared his throat and pointed at the crest on his armour. The man flushed red.

    "Officer! Surely, you can see that this - this girl, she - !"

    He hadn't had the chance to finish his sentence when Hydrane's scaly head poked through the doorway. The plumes of deep purple feathers on the back of his neck were raised, and he was crouched on all fours. He never once broke eye contact with the man, and his growling only got more menacing.

    "What in Yros's name is that?!"

    "Our security manager," I smiled. "I suggest you got home and rest. As I said, you shouldn't strain yourself when you've got a cold."

    "You're insane!" He jumped back and promptly left.

    "Well that was a trip and a half," Oliver sighed. He picked up the needle and thread and turned to me. "Alright, let's get this finished."

    "Do I have to?" I complained. "It's stopped bleeding now, anyway."

    "Just sit down and let me stitch it up."

    Athen gave me a reassuring smile and left to take Hydrane back to the water trough. I gave in and sat back on to the little stool.

    "Better watch him, Miss," Darren spoke from behind Oliver. "He'll be working for you before long at this rate."

    "As long as he can name, recognise and correctly use all of these herbs, he's got the job."

    "As long as you stay still," Oliver scolded. "I'll be able to get this stitched up properly."

    "What even happened to your face, anyway?" Darren asked suspiciously. I felt my blood run cold and told the first lie that cane to mind.

    "My ocard, Hydrane. He got a bit playful and caught my face with his claws."

    Darren gave a look of understanding, but he still kept his cautious eye.

    Oliver stitched up the cut, cleaned it again, and went back over our arrangements for meeting up later. He then said his goodbyes and carried on with his little mission with Darren to get more clues.

    "I don't get it," muttered Athen.

    "Don't get what?"

    "How can you stay so damn calm when those guards got suspicious asking you about your face and about...you-know-what?"

    I simply shrugged and shook my head, "Wish I knew."

    The rest of the day went on without a hitch worse than my cramps. We just had the usual orders: something for a mild fever here, another thing for children's scraped knees there. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred; until, that is, when closing time came round. Darren and Oliver came back as planned, and they had three more silver-clad guards with them. Athen and I greeted them and left them to their own devices while we started to load up the cart.

    With a gentle smile, I took some baskets off of the stack Athen struggled with and added them to mine. My stack was heavier than I expected, and I could feel my bad arm strain under the pressure. I was about to put them down for a moment when I felt a great deal of the weight leave. Oliver stood next to me, holding most of the baskets I had been carrying.

    "You looked like you needed help," he stated simply.

    "Thank you, Mr. Dawson," I replied.

    "You know," Oliver chuckled lightly. "You can call me by my first name."

    "Yeah, okay." I rolled my eyes and nudged him with my elbow.

    Darren came over to us as Oliver was helping me get the baskets into the cart. "Oi, Oliver. I'm going to need you to stop flirting with her for a minute while I brief the others."

    I could feel my face flare red, and Oliver turned a shade of crimson.

    "Flirting?!" He jumped back. "I'm not -!"

    "We're not -!"

    "Regardless," Darren grinned. "I still need Oliver over here to listen to the briefing."

    "Yeah...yes, sir." Oliver gave me a look between apologetic and embarrassment and walked off with Darren to the group.

    Athen leant against my shoulder and poked my still-pink cheek. "Are you two together?"

    "What? No!" I pushed him off and went back to moving more baskets. Athen came trotting after me.

    "You sure? 'Cause it looks like you are."

    "Just shut it and give me a hand with these baskets, Spuds."

    "You're still gonna call me Spuds?" Athen whined. "Come on, Ari. I grew out of that name years ago. I'm not that passionate about potatoes anymore!"

    "Whatever you say, Spuds."

***

Flirting, thought Oliver. I can't believe Darren thought I was flirting with Arietta.

    He wasn't paying much attention to the briefing; his mind kept wandering. Wandering off to question if they really had been flirting. He shook his head and decided firmly: No. It wasn't. It was just banter, that's all.

    He glanced over to her, and saw her smile as she joked with her brother. He watched, for a moment, how her mahogany-coloured hair fell slightly tangled down her back, and how the sun reflected on her golden-tanned skin.

    Oliver was brought to attention by Darren's hand waving in front of his face.

    "Come on, lover boy," he sighed. "We've got work to do."

***

The last of the baskets were on the cart, and Hydrane was harnessed to the front. Athen sat up in the driver's seat, and I walked alongside. The five guards followed close behind. Occasionally, one of them would come over to help with getting the cart safely down a steep slope. I had to keep an eye on them to make sure none of them got too close to trees where I kept some of my spare gear and request letters.

    It wasn't much longer before we got to the cottage. I left Athen to take Hydrane back to his paddock and to start unloading the baskets.

    I turned around and noticed Oliver staring at me. He looked away awkwardly and kept towards the back of the group as I led them down to the river. Darren picked his way over tree roots until he was beside me.

    "Nice place you got here," he muttered. I nodded in reply.

    I continued to lead them down the path, sometimes stopping to give the others a chance to catch up.

    "That metal armour you guards use wasn't made for off-road travel, was it?" I call out over my shoulder as one of the guards got their foot stuck in the mud. Again.

        By the time we'd gotten them unstuck, the sun was low, hardly peeking from behind the mountains. A chilled breeze swept past, making me shiver a little.

    "Come on," I ushered the group. "It's not far now."

    We kept going, and the sound of soft running water filled my ears. The river was in sight, now. Just down this little ditch, and we'd be on the bank. "Little" was probably a bit of an understatement: where we stood was perhaps a metre high. More than half my height. With an annoyed sigh, I hopped down and lost my footing on a fairly jagged corner of a small rock. I stumbled and crashed shoulder-first into a tree. My arm burned. My vision tore white. I grit my teeth as tears pricked behind my eyes. My right hand was latched tightly around my left arm where I'd hit. I took a few deep breaths to clear my head and regain my composure. I felt hands come to rest on my shoulders, and I swivelled round to be greeted by a concerned Oliver.

    "You hurt? You hit that tree pretty hard," he asked, moving a hand to my face. He gently turned my head to the side a little, scanning for any injury.

    "I'm fine," I lied. My arm still hurt, but it dulled down a bit. "It's just impact shock."

    "Look, mabye you just need to sit down for a bit."

    "I said, I'm fine," I snapped. Oliver moved back a step; something flashed in his gaze, but I couldn't focus my mind enough to figure out what. I pushed myself away from the tree and walked down to the river. "Let's go. It's getting dark quickly, and it's best to not stay out too long after sundown."

    "Why?" One of the other guards asked. "Why's it bad to stay out after dark?"

    "Caligo. They don't take too kindly to people snooping around their territories outside of their individual tolerances."

    The group packed in a little closer together. I forced myself onwards through the thick mud, completely blocking out the throbbing numbness in my arm. I staggered to the riverbank, near to the path, and said a silent thank-you to the gods. The footprints were still there. Faded, but there.

    "Gods. You *were* telling the truth," Darren mumbled.

    "You thought I was lying?"

    "Not exactly," he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "You letting your ocard threaten a man from Imperium made me a bit...wary."

    "Fair enough," I nodded. "You guys do what you need to, I'll wait over there." I gestured over to a large tree stump nearby.

    "We won't take long."

I had been sitting on the stump for a while, now. The sun had more or less hidden behind the horizon, and still the guards inspected the tracks. I shivered in the cold night and drew my jacket closer around me. Darren and Oliver had moved away from the others, and both stood just out of earshot as they talked. Soon enough, Darren moved back to the group. Oliver came over to me and I shifted over on the stump to make room for him to sit. He settled down beside me. We both sat in uncomfortable silence for some time before Oliver spoke first.

    "Darren and I talked," he started. "We both agreed it's best for one of us - or both - to stay with you and your brother tonight. Just in case."

    "Just in case of what?" I decided playing the oblivious card was safest. My heart hammered in my chest.

    "Just in case the Crow is still out there."

    "The Crow?" I caught myself before I laughed.

    "The assassin. That's what everyone's been calling her."

    Who came up with that name?

    "Not exactly the kind of name I'd expect." I shook my head, grinning slightly.

    "Yeah?" Oliver leaned back. "Go on, then. What name would you expect?"

    "I don't know," I admitted. "Just not that."

    "We're getting off topic." Oliver cleared his throat and leant forward again so his arms rested on his knees. "Would it be alright if Darren and I stayed with you two tonight?"

    "I don't see any problem with it," I answered. My brain making a list of every single problem with it. What of they find out? What if you let it slip? What if they find something?

    "Great!" Oliver jumped up and offered me a hand, which I took.

    "I'll go tell Darren."

    "Yeah," I uttered. "Yeah, you go do that."

    I turned my focus back to the sunset; the sky was aflame with shades of red, purple, pink, yellow, orange while flocks of birds danced in their silhouettes.

    Shivers ran up my spine when I caught a glimpse of dark, misty clouds of smoke with bright eyes twisting through the forest. Caligo.

    Looks like we may be overstaying our welcome.

    "It's getting late!" I called to the group. "We should get going; the caligo are up and about."

    Darren stepped forward. "Come on. We've gathered enough information here." The other guards huddled in close, their weapons at the ready.

    Oliver offered me a helping hand getting back up at the ditch, and I gladly accepted. I didn't particularly want to fall back down on another tree. We followed the path back to the cottage, where the three extra guards left quite hastily.

    Athen was inside, curled up on one of the old armchairs, engrossed in the book in his lap. I stood aside to let Darren and Oliver in, then making sure the door was closed tight.

    "Hey, Spuds, we're back!"

    "Ari, didn't I ask you to stop with that nickname?" He slammed the book closed, glaring daggers at me.

    "I never agreed to stop," I smirked. Athen sighed and got up to put he book back on the shelf. I made my way over to the kitchen. "You had dinner yet?"

    "No, I wasn't sure when you'd be back."

    "Me either." I turned to Darren and Oliver. "Make yourselves at home. I'll go make dinner; anything in paticular you want to eat?"

    "I'll have whatever's going," Darren responded.

    "Same here," said Oliver.

[ofaristocracy-blog]

sleeping in bed, well- at least kian was. blanc laying on his side, just staring at the others sleeping figure. hand moving to softly touch over the others cheek, brushing some hair off the others face and blanc can't help the smile tugging on his lips when kian ends up letting out a small sleepy noise. ❛ i know we aren't official and our -- relationship doesn't need to be labeled, it's enough that we both know. ❜ he whispers, voice barely audible. ❛ but-- someday i'm gonna marry you. ❜

         HE ALWAYS slept better with blanc around, there was something about being around the elder that made sleep come to him so much easier...kian was getting full night’s rest and undisturbed at that ; so whenever he was seeking to get some rest, he seeks out blanc...sometimes, he doesn’t even come over to HANG OUT with the elder, he comes to sleep in the other’s bed, though, blanc’s scent wasn’t as good as curling up next to the man himself -- but he didn’t want to be a bother to the other male so he made do.         TONIGHT, BLANC slept just an arm’s length away but enough that kian could sleep so soundly. eventually, the younger was just going to end up tucked against blanc by the end of the night so it didn’t matter where kian was initially sleeping...he’ll get to blanc soon enough. buried beneath the sheets, soft breathes leave his partially open lips ; fatigue was nothing new to the two of them, kian always fell asleep first, succumbing quickly to the lull of slumber, leaving blanc to his own thoughts.         A SOFT mumble of protest when blanc brushes hair out of his face, nose scrunching up...he doesn’t hear anything blanc is saying BUT almost as if he was agreeing, as if he UNDERSTOOD what he was told, kian shifts closer to press against the elder. he always slept better in blanc’s arms....kian’s face buries in blanc’s shoulder, soft breathes against the other’s skin, he is content here. he is HAPPY here....he wishes to stay like this, forever, with BLANC.

[illegalknjbabes]

‘I Love You.’ /K.L./

Requested* Day 27!

LITTLE BIT OF SMUT! The reader says I love you for the first time. Enjoy:)

It was a cold December morning, the smell of bacon filling my nose causing me to wake up. I sit up on the bed and look out the window seeing the rain pouring down on the world. I loved the rain, it’s very soothing and just relaxing. Seconds later the door opens revealing Kian holding a tray with scrambled eggs, bacon, few pieces of avocado and a little side of ketchup.

“Have you been up for long? This was suppose to be a surprise.” He whines, making me laugh lightly.

“I just woke up, the smell woke me up.” I said as he sat in front of me. Kian and I have been together for a little bit over a year and it’s been the best year of my life. 

“Did you dream?” He asks taking a piece of bacon and feeding it to me.

“Yes, I did actually.”  I smile biting on the piece and chewing it.

“What happened?” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear making me look up at him.

“I dreamed of rain, something relaxing.” I lied taking a piece of avocado and eating it. Reality is I dreamed  of Kian and I having a romantic day together and for the first time since we started dating, I finally tell him I love him.

Yes, we’ve been together for  year and I have yet to tell him I love him. He knows I do, but I have this thing about saying it that just makes me feel like it’s being played with, considering in today’s world the words ‘I love you’ have no meaning anymore. We haven’t even had sex yet, mostly because I’m very insecure about my body but he respects it which is one of the many reasons why I love him.

“That’s it?” He asks in a bit of concern.

“Yes, I love the rain.”  Once I finished my breakfast, with the help of Kian, I got up and set the tray aside. I didn’t tell Kian about the dream because I didn’t know how he would feel about it, there has to be a reason why he hasn’t asked and or tried to make a move on me for the long, right?

He lays down on the bed and I run my fingers through his very short blondeish hair slowly while looking down at him.

“What time did you wake up”

“Eight, I woke up to Jc calling me and couldn’t go back to sleep.” I nod kissing his forehead. I pick up my plate and walk down stairs to the kitchen. I ran the water from the sink and began to wash the dishes with the sponge.

As I was washing the dishes I felt hands on my waist and the presence behind me, making me smile.

“Kian..” I giggle as he leaves a kiss on my shoulder.

“Yes beautiful?” He says kissing my cheek and laying his head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” The words roll off my lips by accident, like there wasn’t a second thought. He steps back making me turn around as this nervousness started building up in the pit of my stomach.

“You what?” He asks trying to hold back a smile.

“You heard me.” I say crossing my arms over my chest biting down on my bottom lip. He looks at me for a moment  before wrapping his arms around my waist and his lips on mine. He pulls away only a few inches with a smile on his lips.

“I love you too.” He says almost breathless. “I really do.”  

I couldn’t help but smile at how amazing he is.

“Just kiss me.” I giggle puling him in for another kiss. We kept kissing for a few more minutes, but I wanted more. I wanted his skin against mine, his lips carving into my skin like fire on ice. 

I lift myself up on my tip toes and get closer to him. As the kiss began to get a bit headed Kian pulls away a bit leaving his forehead on mine.

“You really want to?” He asks his eyes still closed as he holds onto my my bare hips, considering I sleep with a comfy crop top. I press my lips on his a bit more sweetly. 

“Please.” I wrap my arms around his neck our faces a few inches apart.  He bites his lip before grabbing my legs and lifting me up caring me up stairs to our room. He lays me down and I run my fingers down his neck as he kisses me deeply. 

After some time he pulls away and strips himself of his shirt while I do the same with my own. I watched as his eyes as he  looked down at me, taking in my bare skin. I catch him off guard and flip us over, straddling his lap.He sits up kissing me slowly, his hands roaming my body a rush as adrenaline to rise through my veins. He leaves my lips travels down to my neck.

I let out a sigh of satisfaction before he flips us over once again and kisses down my body, causing my breathing to shake. Once he got to the waist band of my shorts he intertwine his pointer and middle fingers and pull my shorts down along with my underwear.

I watched as Kian slowly pulled off his pants along with his boxers, I bit my lip feeling more nervous than anything. He leans down and kisses my abdomen making shivers go down my spine. 

“Don’t tease me..” I say running my fingers through his hair. I hear him chuckle against my skin  before coming up to my lips giving them a light peck. 

“Relax baby.” He chuckles dipping his head into my neck and leaving hungry kisses and love bites on my skin.

He was so passionate, caring and loving. Made sure I was alright and even changed the sheets while I took shower. I walk out of the bathroom ruffling my damp hair, seeing a showered Kian laying in bed while setting up the Netlfix. He looks over at me and gives me a smile. 

“Hey beautiful.” He says putting the controller down and scooting over. I skip over to the bed and lay next to him.

“How was your shower?” He asks pulling me on to his chest.

“It was pretty good.” I look up at him giving him a smile. 

“God I love you so much.” I say giving his lips a peck.

“I love you more.”

[orbemnews]

Investment Firm’s Collapse Put Unseen Risks on Full Display After the implosion of a little-known investment firm saddled banks around the world with billions of dollars in losses last week, one big question is being asked all over Wall Street: How did they let this happen? The answer may stem from the way the firm, Archegos Capital Management, with ample assistance from at least half a dozen banks, made bets on stocks without actually owning them. Archegos used esoteric financial instruments known as swaps, which get their name from the way they exchange one stream of income for another. In this case, Wall Street banks bought certain stocks Archegos wanted to bet on, and Archegos paid the banks a fee. Then, the banks paid Archegos the stocks’ returns. These swaps magnified the fund’s buying power, but they also created a two-pronged problem. Archegos was able to build up much more influence over the share prices of a few companies, including ViacomCBS and Discovery, than it could afford on its own. And because there are few regulations about these types of trades, it was under no disclosure obligations. When those bets soured last week after the shares of some of the companies in question fell, it touched off a miniature crisis: The banks that had let Archegos amass such big holdings furiously sold the stocks to protect their own balance sheets, and the flood of cheap shares pushed the stocks’ prices down even more. And Archegos itself imploded. The blind-side hit sent a shudder through the financial system and stuck banks with losses that some analysts say could reach $10 billion. And, for a time, it had Wall Street worried that problems could cascade. “The disclosure system doesn’t cover any of this,” said Dennis Kelleher, chief executive of Better Markets, a Wall Street watchdog group. “These derivatives are designed for synthetic exposure which de facto conceals ownership interests.” As banks tally up their losses and shareholders smart over the hit to their portfolios, the tactics that Archegos employed will draw the eye of regulators and renew calls for further regulation of swaps and similar financial products, called derivatives. The Securities and Exchange Commission has said it was monitoring the situation, and Senator Elizabeth Warren, Democrat of Massachusetts, said the meltdown of Archegos had “all the makings of a dangerous situation.” “We need transparency and strong oversight to ensure that the next hedge fund blowup doesn’t take the economy down with it,” she said in an emailed statement. Bill Hwang had set up Archegos Capital Management to manage roughly $10 billion.Credit…Emile Wamsteker/Bloomberg News Archegos was actually a family office, set up to manage roughly $10 billion by Bill Hwang, who previously led a hedge fund that was embroiled in an insider-trading case under his leadership. But it used leverage — essentially, trading with borrowed money to amplify its buying power — perhaps as much as eight times its own capital, some Wall Street analysts calculated. In this case, leverage showed up in the form of swap contracts. In return for a fee, the bank agrees to pay the investor what the investor would have gotten from actually owning a share over a certain period. If a stock rises in price, the bank pays the investor. If it falls, the investor pays the bank. Today in Business Updated  April 2, 2021, 3:58 p.m. ET Archegos focused its bets on the share prices of a relatively small number of companies. They included ViacomCBS, the corporate parent of the country’s most-watched network; the media company Discovery; and a handful of Chinese technology firms. The banks it used to buy swaps held millions of shares in ViacomCBS alone. Normally, big institutional investors are required by the S.E.C. to publicly disclose their holdings of stock at the end of each quarter. That means investors, lenders and regulators will know when a single entity holds a big ownership stake in a company. But S.E.C. disclosure rules don’t usually cover swaps, so Archegos didn’t have to report its large holdings. And none of the banks — at least seven that are known to have had relationships with Archegos — saw the full picture of the risk the fund was taking, analysts say. The use of stock-related derivatives has been rising sharply in recent years. The amount of outstanding equity derivatives — including swaps and a related instrument known as a forward — on stocks listed in the United States more than doubled from $50 billion at the end of 2015 to more than $110 billion during the first half of 2020, the most recent data available, according to the Bank for International Settlements, an international consortium of central banks. The use of swaps and other kinds of leverage can supersize gains when investments pay off. But when such bets go wrong, it can quickly wipe out an investor. That’s what happened last week. Several stocks that Mr. Hwang’s firm had bet on started to fall, and the banks demanded that he put up additional money or other assets. Known as “margin,” this is a cushion of cash meant to ensure that the bank doesn’t lose money if the stocks fall. When he was unable to do so, the banks dumped millions of shares of stock they had purchased. The effect on share prices was profound: ViacomCBS fell 51 percent last week and Discovery 46 percent. Shareholders in those companies saw the value of their holdings plunge; more than $45 billion in shareholder value was wiped out of those two stocks alone. And banks lost money on any shares whose value had fallen. Kian Abouhossein, a J.P. Morgan analyst, estimated that banks lost $5 billion to $10 billion in their dealings with Mr. Hwang. Credit Suisse may have lost $3 billion to $4 billion, Mr. Abouhossein estimated. The Japanese bank Nomura Securities has said it is exposed to losses of as much as $2 billion. Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs have said they expect minimal losses — meaning it won’t seriously affect their financial results — but for such large entities that could still mean millions of dollars. Mitsubishi UFJ Securities Holdings Company, a unit of the Japanese financial conglomerate, reported a potential loss of around $270 million. Analysts say the damage was relatively contained, and while the losses have been large for some players, they’re not big enough to pose a threat to the broader financial system. But the episode will most likely reinvigorate a push to expand the regulation of derivatives, which have been associated with many prominent financial blowups. During the 2008 crisis, the insurance giant AIG nearly collapsed under the weight of unregulated swaps contracts it wrote. The cascade of problems that began with Archegos was only the latest example of derivatives’ ability to increase unseen risk. “During the financial crisis of 2008, one of the biggest problems was that many of the banks didn’t know who owed what to whom,” said Tyler Gellasch, a former S.E.C. lawyer who heads the Healthy Markets Association, a group that pushes for market reforms. “And it seems that happened again here.” Matthew Goldstein contributed reporting. Source link Orbem News #collapse #Display #firms #full #Investment #put #Risks #unseen

[generoustalelight]

CORNUCOPIA

he was hiding in the back alley of his favorite restaurant. he was holding the knife drenched in blood, both of his hands are on the shaft making it more grotesque. he's restless, shaking and nervous, he's both scared and confused. he left his friend inside the restaurant, he totally forgot that he's with someone, because frankly, he doesn't know what to do anymore.

he's still standing from the far left of the big red door, his back facing the wall. on his right is an industrial garbage bin. he's thinking of ditchng the knife in it, but he's too conscious. he thought that that would be such a dumb move. then his eyes shuttered, he's still breathing heavily.

his hands losing grip, he felt that his whole system is deteriorating, his mind's crumbling.

someone tapped his shoulder, waking him up, it was very sudden, all his senses are heightened, he thought to himself, 'im dead meat', he doesn't care anymore. the moment he turned to his left, his eyes are met with a pair of hazel marbles looking from the deep ends of his soul.

the boy in front of him is neither aloof or frightened by all the blood. the boy's just looking beyond all his demons and doubts. it was a transition. they've been standing there for a good minute, and no one's saying a word.

he hardly noticed the boy's light skin complexion and the soft kisses of the freckles from both of the boy's cheeks. the boy is the same height as him, medium built, jet black hair, wearing a black pants and a plain white shirt. the boy's face is a perfected masterpiece, he was captured for a second, dazed by the unearthly beauty.

the boy double tapped his shoulder again, bursting his bubble, opening his eyes to the murky alley that they're in right now.

"come on,'' the only word that transcended between them, keeping him warm and safe, setting the emptiness, of every sense, enveloping his fragile self. the boy's tone is suggestive. he immediately dropped the knife, smothered the excess blood against his dark blue jeans. he forced a smile. he prompted a big sigh and sandwich his face with a loud slap from both of his hands. he continued smiling, though it is visible that some nerves on his face are still hurting, in addition his cheeks are blushing hard.

he held the boy's hands like he knew him for the longest time. his hands are shaking but the hands of his new found companion is reassuring enough to calm him within a snap.

he woke up, on an unfamiliar large brown couch, from his deep slumber. the whole room is a mystery for him. the flat is mildly lit. the walls are blank off-whites. adjacent to the couch is a turned off 32 inch flat-screen television. right of the television stand is a japanese calligraphy, wherein for him is an unknown beauty even though undesirable, that inside a black-gold accented expensive frame, and infront of it is a circa '70's vintage copper telephone. it is standing atop an ivory colored wooden mini-table. a breeze is blowing lightly on the draped white sheet of curtain behind him. on the far left side of the room is a division and what seems to be a room, the crease of the room's door and the floor is casting a light. a light that signifies life condraticting to his dead face, full of questions and irritatingly nonsensical insights.

he got up and walked toward the room. he grabbed the knob, it was cold, and before he knew it, he's already in front of the boy. the door is wide open. he's stunned. for a quick second, he thought that this entity in front of him is not human, that this must be an angel suggesting that there is peace at the end of every tragedy. the boy in front of him held both of his shoulders, exerting force, pushing him not too hard, making him move backwards, back to the couch, he wasn't able to object or to raise any reaction.

the next thing he knew is that he's already sitting with his hands clasped together. he's bowing down for some reason that even he, himself, cant seem to find logical or worthy of announcing on the open.

what he don't know is that the man beside him is already staring at him intently.

"what's your name?", he then looked up to check the source of the voice. all of the blood on his body rose to blush his cheeks. he don't understand why's he feeling this way. just by this boy's pure and innocent gaze, he was already falling into a deep rabbit hole, and he likes it.

"my name's leo, you?", he added.

"kian," after replying, a long pause pressed the air, and word after the other fought its way through, "my name is kian," his voice is shaking, he's anxious.

leo let out a chuckle. kian looked at him puzzled. he's thinking that maybe he's laughing because of the awkwardness his voice has exhibited. he was now shy, he cant seem to use words to defend himself from drowning into this pit of embarassment full of hand grenades that can be triggered by any word possible to man.

"why were you laughing?," his nervous tone never left him.

"nothing," leo replied, "why? did it bother you? don't worry i just find you really interesting , and hilarious!' he answered after pausing. his voice is very masculine, its as if like god had adjusted all the vocal chords he has and made it to fit his physique.

"no, i was just wondering," kian answered.

"so can you tell me now what happened?," leo asked.

all of it consumed kian, all the unfamiliar feelings has started creeping up. he was very scared, you can see it in his face, he seemed empty. the aura of the room shifted and made a dark turn. he started caressing his own arms. he's already crying softly, his sobs are suppressed, kian don't want anyone to see him weak or powerless, he's already stood his ground and became a man on his own.

"it's ok, everything's ok," kian reminding himself that no matter what everything will turn out fine. it's a sad scene. he's hugging himself tight, curving into a ball, shutting down slowly by slowly.

leo reached for him, like a light venturing into the depths of pain, the hug is a warm affectionate cleansing touch. all the noise in kian's mind have been voided, they were proved invalid at the moment. pain is peeling from the wounded flesh of a weak child. a heart of the soldier is being salvaged amidst a war. leo mended everything that's wrong. kian is safe, kian's on the nest of serene. leo's arms guarded him from all the worldly things they're dipping into;

ANOTHER PROSE.

I'm broken hearted.

everyday we are given a chance to change, change for the better, we always had the hand to throw, landmines to walk on, and choose what we really wanted for ourselves.

ANOTHER PROSE.

in the same parallel universe,

the last switch is all that's left, the doctor is still clueless whether to press it or not, the bright red tint of the you-know-it-will-destroy-earth button is the most tempting fuckery ever created and made available to human.

it is an excerpt of a game show that will decide the fate of the world, the humanity, and yourself.

presenting, the game show master, an anti-christ ex-convict that was nominated because of the perfect apathy to inject to the world. he has a commercial face, clean and crisp, perfect for television. his charm is incomparable. definitely the definition of sophistication; a godly incarnation of class and elegance.

he has the perfect voice to entertain millions and billions of people. he's a very likable person omitting all the vile things he did. his persona is on a different level than any mortal that has walked on the planet.

he starts every episode with a close-up. a full walkthrough of his gorgeous face. the light will flicker. red to blue to yellow to white to red to violet to yellow to red to white. the exchanges of the colors is prenotioned to hypnosis ergo to condition the cognitive.

the whole set of "the game show" is themed intergalactic, it is overly futuristic, few of the prop design are high-technology devices that can only be imagined by tens and thousands of lightyears away. but it is evident that they still attempted to capture the mediocrity of the simplest things like the buzzers, the lights, the clappers, the audience seats and the camera, it feels like a crazy-fusion of a 1980's tv show and a tv show set on a fucked up future. the set is worth a fortune, the luxury and the euphoria, and whenever they send invites it is like willy wonka spreading the golden tickets again to lure children and children-at-heart to devour life's essence. everything about it is enchanting.

the whole premise of the programme is surrounding the trials and tribulations of all the strands of beings on earth. just thought of it as the most inhumane thing you could possibly see or hear.

usually each episode is presented by the game master and a guest female assistant that will stand by as a symbol of sex and weakness. this will attract the male viewers, to make them feel powerful and more dominant. it never happened that the female guest would appear twice, it was speculated that after an episode the female guest will be brought to the game master's house, allegedly they were drugged into this, and that they were raped and tortured to death. the whole fiasco is ignored by the masses, the black market created a movement to cover up the whole thing.

today, tons of casting and auditions for the role of female asisstant for the game show has been commenced. all the top female actresses, models, pageant royalties and all the kinds and types of women in every nation of the world competes on an extensive screening for the spot. all of these girls aspiring to be slandered, this is the american dream.

going back to the one in a million chance of destroying earth, the doctor is now torn if he really wanted to save his whole family, he's thinking that all this is for his son that meant everything to him, and for his wife that gave meaning to his life.

on the other hand, he's thinking of the bribe that the game master has set him up with. the bribe is made of a lengthy letter from his mistress, an album of all their intercourse, a video, and his mistress herself strapped in an electric chair. not really a bribe, but a threat, the game master promised that he will let everything out, every nook and cranny of his dirt.

the facade of the doctor is quite amusing he's smiling while he's looking at his family sitting on the audience bawling their eyes out, hoping that the doctor would turn out to be sane and fully aware of the right and wrong, the morale, the rightful, the ethical. while, they are clueless of the failing mental health of their father- figure. his hair is turning white, riddled with stress, he's slowly dying while masking his breathing to a relax and calm tempo. he's bid farewell to himself.

life is unfair.

the doctor couldn't decide, he don't want to toss the dice. he don't want to come clean, what he decided is to end everything then and there. 'he will not be a man', that's what he has decided. he mentally prepared wrapping his balls into a thin foil full of gun powder ready to be set on fire in front of everyone, on international television. but don't worry, of course he wouldn't do the latter because it's much easier for him to slit his wrist with a shard of glass from the table that he shattered with his fist, while tapes are rolling, bleeding his life force, in front of his family, while his son is watching the whole thing bare, realizing that his hero is taking suicide as ananswer. nevertheless, their lives are assured to go down form here on, they will be shamed and ridiculed by everyone, they will hate each other and they will die hating on themselves. the world wins.

in the same alternate universe,

1st scene

the first shot includes gem with a pink back drop. gem is wearing a white shirt with scribbled letters, embossed. the soft pastel vibe of everything in this scene is so innocent and clean. her shoulder-length hair is braided, placed on just above her right collar bone. she's holding a bottle of water, with the word 'safe', printed on it. she has put down her for-colorblind glasses, put it on the stool just beside her, she wasn't sitting, she's just resting her right hand on it to support her weight.

the second frame is a sharp cut of gem's eyes and up. the rest of the screen is just a blank pink canvass that screams softness.

she looks annoyed, tired even. she's anxious that this might take a while. her mother's away for just two days, and she's thinking that this is her punishment for not going with her on the camp.

gem is staying in the room for approximately an hour now. the ventilation is not bad, but it's not good either.

gem is strictly instructed to stay in the room, not do anything, and she can't go out until further notice. she don't know why is she obeying these lunacy. she just thought that when she was forced to sleep through ammonia, that this is her farewell to her mother and all her pending chores, as well as the boring life of high school. she accepted everyhting then and there.

she didn't try to escape or object to any of it, she's out of energy, and she don't want her glasses to get caught up with the commotion and be the cause of its sweet destruction.

gem thinks that she's on an abandoned building and she thinks that the room that she's staying in is the only one who has a full renovation. she can smell the faint odor from the newly painted walls, and she reckon that it's still wet, since the dripping form the floor is gradually filled with a pink puddle of paint.

you can see gem trying to fight the ticking of the clock, she's trying to beat the unbeatable, she's trying to sabotage time.

gem heard the heavy footsteps of the men walking toward the room. or is it the same hooligans who've abducted her? she immediately acted as if she has fainted, she fell on the floor without hesitation, her body felt the impact. she's a great actor. her insides are screaming hallelujah-fuck-you. she then sensed the presence of the people who barged in, unannounced. they lifted her up, they clutched her limbs. gem is scared, these people are slimy, their arms are gooey and it smellt like rotten fish and tomatoes. her eyes are shut, she don't want to open them, she's already guessing that whatever it is that she will see, will forever scar her and give her nightmares.

gem, is different from everyone, NO SHE'S NOT. end scene.

2nd scene

inso is a native japanese from hokaido, venturing into the concrete jungles of brooklyn, new york. he's the strangest thing to ever walk in the asphalts of the pioneering city. he's always wearing that combat boots that is honest to god, bigger than him. he always carry his bright yellow duffle bag with all his belonging in it, his round cobalt blue tinted shades and his oversized grey trench coat completes the hobo man inside of him.

inso did not know the english language, he never knew how to read or write in english. his mother's tongue is pure in all his means. he never communicated to anyone until his ninth day in the city, he never really talked per se. it was only with a hotdog stand vendor that he first initiated a non-verbal conversation; at first the man was clueless what was it with all the flailing and waving of inso's hands. he thought that this flamboyant beggar has a loose screw, and is just trying to piss him off, until inso pulled out a dollar and started handing it over to the man preparing all the hotdogs. he then pointed to the regular hotdog-in-a-bun, the hunger is evident in all his next gestures. he's holding his dear life to the railing on the hotdog stand, the scene is comical and hilariously exhausting, and that's the story of his first hotdog, and how he did not die of starvation.

inso has been working in a bowling alley where he was recommended by the same hotdog vendor that he met. he's studious and an outstanding overseer of the whole place, inso manages the bowling alley; he attends to customers' on their hours of stay. he's in charge of the maintenance, the rolling pins, the bowling balls, the neon retro signs, the snack bar (even though he's just sally's assistant), the welcome rugs, the tiled columns, the light bulbs, the bathroom, the toilets, the glass doors, the tables, the gums sticking beneath the tables, the drinking fountain, the bowling gloves, the back of the bowling alley, and the red back door.

he's been living in the bowling alley for almost two months until he's decided to move out to get an apartment. within the span of two months he learned how to speak in english, but not fluently, and definitely not with his accent gone. he started taking a bath on a daily basis. he started eating normal food, like a normal human being, and fully left the hotdog diet. he can now save for his future, to plan for his own house, to start his new life, his days are better.

everything's turning out fine, or so he hoped.

on the way to work inso was stopped by a road block, in front of him, a whole street on a riot, garbage and blood and a dead body lying comfortable in the heated up cement, even the path walk is closed, the crowd is wild on murmuring and added gibberish on the scene of the crime.

police investigators and press are there, covering for the whole event. police tapes are tied from one light post to another and from the metal gate of the blue apartment to a tree from across the street.

inso is forced to walk on the alley located beside the city boutique. even though it is early in the morning, the darkness from the alley way is menacing, scaring him not to take that trail. but he remembered that it's almost 10 in the morning and he has to get in the bowling center as soon as possible.

inso is hugging his duffle bag, removed his glasses, and scurried over the alley, but not an inch away from the main road, he was struck by a hard thing on the head. he remembered that the last thing he saw was a metal baseball bat pointing to the ground. it was pointed towards the ground, stained by blood, he thought that it came from his head. the blow from the back of his head fully paralyzed him and shocked his nerves, he was lying on the ground helpless, no one can hear him, no one will hear him.

inso heard a truck door being opened, he deducted the latter because of the metal rustling noise it made, the heavy footsteps of the men walking toward the alley, alarmed, he tried to get up immediately his glasses are shattered . he's basically on a vegetative state now. he can see his duffle bag being searched and emptied by two men, wearing a flat- ironed suit and high-end slacks. they lifted the whole bag and threw it after. their faces are covered with traditional japanese masks, big eyes and sculpted fangs. his eyes are closing on him, and the last thing he saw he passed out is his home.

on-break

as i grew older, i also realize that i am slowly losing all my white shirts.

i have 10 white shirts when i was on 1st grade, i always wore a white sando beneath my plain white shirt beneath a crisp-and-clean white polo tucked into my above-knee khaki shorts. i go to school with that and a pair of shiny black shoes, carrying my red power rangers bag. i also wore white whenever i'm home, i just loved that color when i was young, it feels clean, it looks clean, it is like a canvass ready for all the scribbles i can make.

when i was on 3rd grade i only used nine, my tenth white shirt became too tight, or maybe im becoming too big, well the point is that it never fitted me anymore. i am really eager to learn about the kid-spirit of our elementary school, that's why i would go ahead and abandon my polo to explore the psyche of my peers, and also to explore the garden behind the sixth graders, and find some worms, and ants, and plants that retreats by the slightest of human touch. i became a lot bigger, it feels like all the knowledge i gather helped me grow faster.

the following year my mom replaced all my white shirts, she noticed how fast i grow physically, and replaced it with eight new ones, same color, same fabric, same price range. this time she bought eight pieces of large to extra large white shirts, just to make sure we have that allowance. the eight new shirts felt comfortable and familiar.

i've had one of my new shirts pulled out of my closet, i wanted to dye it with different colors, like that one shirt with blots of red, blue, green, and yellow and orange, all over it. I have seen it in an art show on the television,"Art Angel". this part of my childhood is where i've started experimenting. i'm trying to understand myself, i'm trying to look at trends, that can never better me, my friends are becoming greedy and they've stopped talking to me. i'm left with seven shirts, and a flamboyant one, late grade school.

one of my shirt's got wrecked when i got in a fight outside school, there was this stupid boy on my class who kept bothering me, and kept provoking me to start this petty fight with him, afterschool, just because he thought that i find him irritating, which is accurate, and that he thought that this problem can be solved by a traditional-outdated fist fight. i never acknowledged this barbarian, even though by that time i let him have it. when i got out of class, i removed my white polo, because i need to get this home white and clean.

i waited for him at a nearby lot, for this to get over with, as soon as possible. he showed up and he had some friends come over to speculate. as soon as he got there you can definbitely see his face is all red and you can easily decipher that he was properly fueled with hatred before going on here, he ran towards me and grabbed me by my shirt, my shirt, mind you this is one of my favorite shirts, i immediately pinned him down, i exerted all my force with my fist struck a blow on his vertbrae as explosive as i could.

i heard him groaned, and all the spectators jumped on me, they were punching me while on ground, kicking me with their spiked shoes. after three minutes they left me, my shirt is ripped. i fucking hate this soccer gang.

white shirts remaining: six

a couple of years later, i replaced two of my white shirts with two black staple tees. black is now my new favorite color. it just represents my brand that time. an emotional teen, bad personality, bad attitude, mediocre fashion.

at the time, i feel troubled, even though i certainly know i am not. i seek attention so hard i can barely read which character i wanted to play, what i am, and what i wanted to be. black just represented the void that i am feeling on that critical days of my adolescence. i still wear my white shirts, just not that often.

peak of my adolescence, one white shirt became the bearer of the intensity of my raging hormones. end of phase.

the last three white shirts that i have is burried beneath all the garbage that i have in my closet. i realize that i cannot wear them anymore, or rather i dont want to wear them anymore. my white shirts reminded me of the innocence that i have back then. but in all fairness, everything that i have right now is something i owe to those white shirts that help me and watched me grew up. i realize that as one age nothing can be permanent but most importantly I've learn that time will change you and will eat you up alive, so as soon as now grab that white shirt and wear it with pride.

3rd scene

gopshi is an indian national that grew up in america. as soon as you see him, you'll assume that he's fluent in speaking his national language. his skin is fair and deep. his eyes are a mix between almond brown and happy, a pair of expensive marbles. gopshi's hair's a shiny jet black, it's length is proper for a boy going to a prep school on whales. his teeth are porcelain white, he's not short, but not really tall.

gopshi was adopted by a couple that intends to save everyone by every means that can result to death, both philantrophist, seeming to tour the world for world peace.

gopshi, has three brothers and four sisters, each of his sibling came from a different race.

there is, sana, a japanese girl that was adopted when she was six. her parents are both unknown by the time of her adoption, even though she was legally adopted and brought out of japan. her foster parents have to fight the yakuza's just to take full custody of her. sana is a smart kid, finished reading and disserting all books varying from ancient literature, scientifical theories and related researches, computer programming, art, philosophy, international languages and so on.

next is, lance he's a british lad that was abandoned when he was six moths old, lance has the charm of kings and emperors, lance is the very best public speaker there is. no one knows where did he get this gift of eloquence, but on thing's for sure, lance can convince, persuade, question and overpower anyone, by only using his words. lance has also a strong morale compass and is very passionate in valuing one's perspective of a certain matter. he's very composed and reliable and he's the most likely to rule the world one day

.

then there is, arnauv, out of all the adopted children arnauv is the most distant to everyone. he's very secretive and always incognito. arnauv loves planes. he's really interested on aeronautics, and you will know it, you can always see him at somewhere high, he's either seen sitting on the ledge of the mansion's roof or at the top of their humungous tree. arnauv has always been like this. he's s walking question and it was paired with his appearance, he has a platinum blonde hair, crew cut, his eyes are blue, his skin is pale and lips are salmon pink. he's the most good looking out of the bunch, but his timid personality makes it seem like he's untouchable he only has one friend and it is his brother key.

key is african. he's everyone's friend, having experience the brush of poverty at an early age. he was adopted when he was ten, rescued from child trafficking bust and brought to the house. key is the kindest, he's polite and respectful. key stands with people on their shines and storms. key has a very high EQ. he's fond of animals and plants, he cares for the living things and their betterment. key's charm relies on his honest gesture and kind words. the only flaw key has is his naivete, he can be easily manipulated because of the trust he give to everyone. but his strength lies within the goodness of his heart that everyone seems to fall for. everyone seems to love him, regardless.

next in line is phirayatta, or as they call her phir. phir is from thailand, she's a miracle child of the king, but wasn't really acknowledged because of the controverisies of her biological mother. the king didn't really wanted phir, that's why when she was little her father wanted her to be assassinated, the king has hired, murderers, assassins, executioners and hitmans all over the world to end her. but, the catch is she won't die. phir was cared by the world. no one can harm her. ever since she was a little girl multiple attempts of murders have failed in causing her death, which lead the king to abandoning her. it is when she was adopted. phir has the gift of luck.

sinai is the youngest among all them, she was brought in the house by their foster parent sinai has a unique rich skin color, neither pale nor, deep, her complexion is changing, but most of the time it's blue. every feature of sinai seems normal, except her skin. with no words sinai was introduced to the family, their parents never really talked about sinai's ancestry or race. sinai was just always the happy pill, she's impulsive, and jitterey, she's naive because of age, but she's tactical and reliable. sinai's information is unavailable as of the moment.

then we have sky, sky is the last israeli on the planet. the whole country of isarael has been annihilated. it has become the enemy of the world. there is a long war that happened involving the said country and the new world. the government has decided to put an end to israel's existence by dropping nuclear missiles to its territory, all of israel has turned to ashes and dust. after three years, the philantrophists visited the ruins of israel and to their surprise there roams a child barefoot, hiding and binging on the shadows of the ruins. her eyes are as green as an emeralds. sky's real name is unknown. sky was raised to be like a normal child, a dream israel, her old country, would dream to have.

5th scene

dear you,

let this be known.

"i would carve my heart just so that it will still fit your hands."

hi, i am just a nobody but i really hope you're reading this, i truly wish that you're taking time to insert this to your crunched up schedule, not minding the hassle that this might cause, and not really minding to whom this came from.

well, this is just another letter, one of the thousands i have already sent you. this is very likely with the same weight as the other writings you've already received. this has the same feels, with the same undying message. but what seperate this from all letters you've already got is that i know that this is such a stretch, because, lucky you, this will be the last one.

hi again, i just wanted to say that i love you. and for god's sake i am devoting my life to every sense of that phrase. sacrificing all the truth there is just to show you how sincere i am.

i really do love you. i love you so much that i am actually losing my sanity, i love you so much that i can promise that your name will be my last words, i love you so much even if you would hate me, i will still love you unconditionally. i love you so much that i'd ignore my joy, for your own pleasure. i will love you even if i know that its the cause of my depression.

i would carve my heart just so that it can bleed your color.

very rare that i will forget how you actually smell, how your gaze has the immense effect on me, how you taste from the navel up, the sensation of your kisses, how wonderful your lips taste. i will never forget how you grasped my wholeness and swallowed all me. i love your dirt and riches, and lunacy.

i love you so much that i wanted you to know i am always by your side. looking from afar. breathing the same air. counting every move you make, noting every person you encounter on a daily. i am just an inch away in grabbing you and making love to you. i am just insanely in love, i could die any moment. i am itching form holding you here in my arms i will never let you go, i am dying just thinking of devouring all the good things that you are. i wanted to end you, i wanted to make you happy, i will make your everyday as remarkable and thrilling as possible. i will not stop loving you, i will not stop thinking of you, i cannot stop thinking of how can i murder you, in your sleep, while you're floating from acid, waiting for me, or so i believe.

i can still remember all the good things we've shared and all the good times we've had. we're much truthful, we're kinder, we're gentler for the world. we're polar opposites but everyone can clearly see how totally inlove we are with each other. we have set aside our differences, we are respectful and understanding. we've let ourselves change each other's hearts. we became the best versions of ourselves, we've helped each other grow and learn each and every day we're together. we trusted each other that we will not draw blood, or hate, or envy towards one another. we're so inlove at the time we forgot that evil do exist, we're so inlove we forgot about sinning. we're so inlove we never thought of our failing, of our falling, of our flailing. we're never able to prevent it, that's why we bled too much. that's why i am so close in losing my life, that's why i never had imagined another world that you're not beside me.

i would carve my heart so that you would have two, and you can destroy mine, happily.

i am very sorry that this is so sudden, but i am ecstatic because finally, finally, i have finished carving my heart, but why am i still alive, love? why am i still breathing? why am i still here?why are you not moving? why are you not breathing? why are you bleeding? love, where is your heart?

6th scene

I don't know if I like hospitals or not.

I can't remember all my encounters with hospitals thats why i have a minimal amount of knowledge in regards to the latter. I just used to think that its a place for sick-dying type of people. Its generally a sad place for my young self. I can't remember how all the hospitals that I've been to looked like visually, but I can clearly remember how they've smellt. It smelled like used cotton balls that's dripping of alcohol for sanitary purposes of some sort. It also smelled like clean flasks and glass tubes and new aluminum door knobs. I based the smell of death to that same smell of a familiar hospital.

When I was young I can clearly remember that I really wanted to be a doctor. I can't remember what kind and why, but, I just strongly feel back then that I should be one.

on-break

DISCLAIMER: This is a subjective opinion about my third team on my first job. All the statements and opinions that will be made on this narrative, is strictly personal and does not reflect the truth on the subjects. Every team mate will be given a pseudonym to protect their privacy.

Let's start.

Skyflakes. has a personality of a white, thin, salty papery biscuit. one of the nicest person in our whole team. skyflakes has greeted me once, i never greeted back. the greeting ended there. we rarely talk, but once we were forced to do so because of a common work-friend. skyflakes is very preserved. i never hated skyflakes, but i am uncertain if the feeling's mutual.

Moon. moon doesn't get me at all, shocker. moon is like my counter part on an alternate universe, the receptiveness on moon's personality never worked for me. moon pretended that i am an open book that can be easily deciphered. I totally murdered moon's psyche by literally knowing everything that the workplace has expected on me, including moon's assumptions. but i liked moon very much, i don't know if it is because of the pretenses or is it because i am fascinated by the fact that i can toy with moon's feelings.

Strip. is a so-so character. strip realize everything that i talk about but it is very often that strip talks to me about them. strip is an open letter that you can read on a twitter page of an angsty adolescent

4th scene

let's talk about the creation of the keyboard, where did it really came from. do you think it came hand-in-hand, a plus-one, a done deal package together with the first computer? do you think the first known computer is as useful as it would be if it will come with a ready made keyboard? who invented keyboard? who decided that this piece of 3D plastic boxes of numbers, letters and symbols should be called as it is? is the word keyboard technically acknowledged.

7th scene

this is an account of all the things i would've done if the world will end tomorrow, assuming i have exactly 26 hours to live before the world will meet its fate for some reason.

for the first two hours i would try to murder whoever will talk to me about their own itenerary in this situtation. just ki

8th scene

words are fascinating. words made me love the world, even though it's unbearable. words found me, more than i found them. it is introduced to me as a friend, as someone who i can turn to. someone that can always take me to perfect places. someone i can truly trust. someone that i can whisper my secrets to, someone that can be my secret, someone that can share secrets with me. then it grew on me. it became a parental support, it guided me. it helped me. it taught me things. it straighten my back, words released me from slouching, from boredom, from restrain. it molded me to the person i am today. it made me realize things, i've ingested it and its essence. i mimicked it like a whole stage full of actors. words are just releasing the good and the beautiful, without shying away with its ugly and distastefulness. words are flexible, they can make or break, it can be a weapon for sympathy and apathy, it can end or start war. words fly and swim and they climb, they will run if needed and walk for intensities.

[kalyanijavdekar]

Everything

A little Valentine's Day Fic. Sorry it's late. 😳.

Connor pulled the blanket over his face trying to adjust to the light. It was only 6 am and the previous night had been a long one at the office. He tries to go back to sleep but hears crying in the distance. He pulls the blanket off his face and mumbles his husband’s name. Oliver was snoring beside him, not a muscle to be moved “Ollie, honey” he whispered nudging him softly “Huh-what?” he asked groggily “The babies-they’re awake” Oliver smiled “So go get them then” “But it’s your turn” he mumbles. “besides they like you better” he smiles Oliver smirked “They do not” “Do so” he whispered pulling his husband’s ear with his lips “But I’ll get them” Connor, lazily got out of bed and walked into the nursery where he could hear one of the twins fussing. Oliver smiled as he pulled the sheets over his face but he heard his phone buzz next to him. Crap, he thought. Seeing the date on his phone. It was Valentine’s day and he had completely forgot. He began to worry his bottom lip in between his teeth. Normally Oliver was the one to over do it on such occasions but with being new parents and both of their jobs being so successful and demanding it had completely slipped his mind. He turned to his side to check the internet for any flower deliveries available for a last minute surprise and found a sweet little mom and pop shop just 4 miles away. “H-Hi. This is Oliver Hampton. I know it’s last minute but I was wondering if you had any bouquets left for delivery. You see- it’s mine and Connor’s first Valentine’s day with a family and I wanted to do something special for him but we have new twins and it completely slipped my mind.” he rambled. The lady on the other line seemed to chuckle lightly at Oliver’s panicked voice. “Not to worry sir, we have lots of flowers that will suit your needs. What did you have in mind?” A wave of relief hit him,“Uh-I would like to do 6 yellow and 6 red roses if possible.” “Excellent!” she chimed. “We can have them delivered within the next 2 hours.” “Yes! Perfect, thank you so much.” “Of course sir. Would you like to add a note?” Oliver went silent for a moment to see if Connor was listening at the door. But when he heard his voice coming from the twin’s room he began to speak “Can you write; “Happy first Valentine’s day to my best friend, the father of our beautiful children and the love of my life.” Oliver swears he heard the lady choke back a tear. “Very well sir. We’ll have them delivered by 10am.” “Thank you! Happy Valentine’s day to you!” and clicked off. Connor dimly turned on the bedroom light trying not to blind the babies and yawned at their side. Kian was already up, kicking his feet demanding attention. “Well good morning handsome” he cooed picking him up out of his crib and wrapping his arm underneath his tiny little legs and the other around his head “Why are we being so fussy huh? He whispered bouncing him gently. Is someone trying to wake up sissy?” Kian just looked up and smiled. Connor pressed a kiss to his cheek as he rubbed his back but he wouldn’t stop kicking his feet. “Are you hungry buddy? Is that why you’re being so grumpy?” Kian let out a little whine which Connor took to mean yes. Sophia was still fast asleep with her little arms and legs under her blanket so Connor took Kian to the kitchen to heat up his bottle. He pulled the formula out of the cabinet and starting looking for a pot. He always found it slightly annoying how Oliver never let him use the microwave. It made everything so much faster, but one day, Oliver found an article online saying how the microwave had harmful rays that can get into your food so needless to say they never heated the baby food in the microwave from then on. He finally found a pot added a scoop of formula to the simmering water and let it warm up. Kian reached his hand out for his bottle and Connor smiled “I know little man-I know. Just a few more minutes” he assured increasing the temperature slightly. Kian bounced in his arms until the formula was ready. He then poured it into a bottle and tested it on his forearm before giving it to him. Kian drank every last drop, thirstily, in a span of 5 minutes. He waited for Kian to push the bottle away and then tossed it into the sink, lifting him back up onto his shoulder and rubbing his back to burp him. Connor looked at the clock on the wall, it was almost 6:45am “Should we go wake up daddy?” he asked. Kian seemed to like the idea because he reached out an arm in the direction of their bedroom. Connor tread quietly into the bedroom and crawled onto his side of the bed, putting Kian on his stomach next to Oliver. Oliver’s face was covered with a bed sheet as he fake snored. Kian stilled for a moment, readjusting to the new space, grabbing the bed sheet. Oliver helped pull the cover off his eyes and Kian’s eyes went wide turning to face Connor “Who’s that?” Connor said stroking his cheek with his knuckle.“Is that daddy?” The little man’s eyes went wide and a smile fell upon his mouth. He reached out his fingers and grabbed Oliver’s nose. Oliver turned up to kiss his palm “Hi buddy!” he whispered lifting him up to blow kisses on his stomach. “Who’s got the cutest little belly in the world?-You do (he kisses)-yes you do baby boy” The little man giggled for him. Just as Connor gave Oliver a good morning kiss he heard Sophia crying. “Uh-oh” Oliver gasped softly. “I think someone’s sisters awake.” Connor pecked Oliver one more time for good measure and hopped off the bed to go get their daughter. Sophia had pulled the blanket off of her and started crying. Wiggling her tiny body reaching up to be held. Connor picked her up into his arms and kissed her hair. Sophia nuzzled her head underneath his chin and scrunched her legs into his chest. He felt her put his tank top in her mouth and chuckled “Someone’s hungry, let’s go get your bottle.” Connor disappeared into the kitchen with Sophia while Oliver stayed in bed with Kian. Kian began to fuss in his arms “How about we play a game. He smiled. Yea? Wanna wrestle daddy? He laughed. Kian’s eyes went wide with a smile as Oliver bounced him on his stomach, arms wrapped around his neck pretending to be tackle and Kian giggled for him. Just as he was about to get up he heard the doorbell ring. “I wonder who that could be?” he cooed leaving a trail of kisses on Kian’s face. “Connor honey, will you get that? Kian won’t let me get up.” “Got it!” he answered opening the door to their apartment. “Delivery for Connor Walsh?” Connor froze “Omg. It’s Valentine’s day isn’t it?” The man smiled sweetly “Yes sir. Are you Connor Walsh?” Connor pauses for a second completely caught off guard “Y-yes. Thank you!” He reaches into the change tray to give the man a tip and bids him a good Valentine’s before closing the door. He holds the bouquet steadily trying to balance a thirsty Sophia and roses without falling. He enters the bedroom and gives Sophia to Oliver still in complete shock. “Ollie-” he whispers on the verge of tears “Yeah babe?” he smirked “How did you-when did you? Why?” “Because it’s Valentine’s day goofball.” Connor pouts his lip “I know but-but I totally forgot and I didn’t get you anything.” he sighs putting them on the night stand and crawling into bed. Oliver sits up gently trying not to startle Sophia in his arms and leans in to kiss his husband. “That’s not true. He whispers, looking down at his baby girl and son just feet away. You’ve given me everything, Connor. You’ve given me our amazing life and our beautiful twins. That’s all I’ll ever need.” Connor couldn’t help but stare in awe. He never thought he could love someone so much, he lets the tears fall from his eyes as he leans in to give Oliver a slow tender kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day Ollie.” Oliver leaned into it, his heart completely content “Happy Valentine’s Day Connor.”