#so its still very clearly in its early phase but its good and im excited to see what the developers will do with it

[dammjamboy]

BETTER CALL SAUL!

[destinyc1020]

Im not gonna argue with anyone about kaia's acting b/c it isnt the best mostly b/c she comes across as lifeless and unnatural. She def benefits from the fact shes a nepo baby and white. However I will defend her in bottoms, b/c its sometimes more about casting then it is acting. Kaias character is supposed to come across as one dimensional, a sterotypical popular high school girl who everyone aspires to be with she doesnt have any substance outside of her looks which is juxtaposed with this idea that a girl like her wouldnt be interested in somethink like bare knuckle fighting. Her role doesnt require dynamic acting and I would argue someone like zendaya wouldnt work b/c shes to dynamic and would go against the one dimensionality of how character was written. Certainly could this role have gonna to a black woman like laura harrier ( who also cant act) yeah totally but I think kaia works as that character, that doesnt mean shes a great actor . She still struggles with basic things such the inability to convey emotion.

Also austin, I like austin hes very dynamic but Im also not 100 convinced. Hes a great character actor evidenced by dune part 2. He was great in elvis fantastic even. He clearly puts the work in and willing to work on his craft. But after watching bike riders early this year and two episodes masters of air, he was very underwhelming dont know if he has the longevity as a lead ( hopefully he changes my mind b/c he seems like a cool dude and I want him to succeed). Hes struggling mightily with accents and in bikeriders he was overshadowed by jodie comer and tom hardy also even mike faist (for his very small role in bikeriders but hes extremely sensitivity and empathetic in portrayal as an interviewer). His latest stuff he comes across as one note and places too much emphasis on a huskier/smoky voice that at times sound more distracting and hinders the character.

(Though for MOTA im still in wait and see mode cause I havent seen the entire series yet)

Re: Kaia...

Sooo... basically, what you're saying is that they gave her a character role that she basically already embodies (dull, lifeless, etc) because that's how her acting already is in real life? Am I understanding this correctly lol? 😅

That's fine if you liked her in the "Bottoms" movie (we all have different tastes). I didn't even see the movie (it just didn't look funny at all to me 👀), but I saw enough clips lol 😅

Re: Austin....

Interesting take on Austin. 🤔 I haven't seen him in Dune Part 2 or The Bikeriders yet, so I can't really speak to those films... yet. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But I thought he did great in Elvis. 👍🏾

Maybe he IS a character actor? Nothing wrong with that. There are PLENTY of great character actors in Hollywood, and that's where they thrive. ☺️

I honestly haven't seen much of his work post-Elvis to really judge. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm excited to see more of his work in this phase of his career. I've only seen clips of him in OUATIH and I thought he was great in that. He's really good at disappearing in roles, which I like. So far, his characters have been diversely DIFFERENT ever since the play he did with Denzel Washington, and I love that. Sometimes, it's hard to imagine I'm watching the same actor lol 😆 😂

Maybe you're so used to seeing Austin in character roles that when he plays someone quieter and less "out there" you are bored lol 😆

Like I said, I haven't seen him in "The Bikeriders" yet, but it's hard to imagine anyone outshining Tom Hardy, coz Tom is just.... 👌🏾

Prior to "Elvis", I'd only seen Austin in fluff TV shows like "The Carrie Diaries" or "Switched at Birth", etc. So I've seen him in various different roles PRE-Elvis.

So far, I'm enjoying MOTA, and I'm interested in seeing where his career takes him in this era. I'm just glad he's getting to do more of the type of work that he wants to do now in his career. 😊

Re: His voice....

Austin's voice has ALWAYS been deep imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Deep and slightly raspy.

Here are some old clips....

I think when he got older, it just got a bit huskier.

I really don't think he's putting anything on. Don't pelt me with tomatoes but I actually sort of suspect (I only said SUSPECT) that he kinda ruined his voice a little when singing for Elvis all those years. I'm a singer as well, and it can definitely happen. I had vocal nodules that changed my voice (I could barely speak at one point). I had to go through vocal therapy for many months in fact for it.

My voice is fine now, thankfully lol 😆, but if you've developed vocal nodules, they can for sure change the quality of your voice. So, he might just have vocal nodules. I don't suggest getting them surgically removed if anyone has them, but vocal rest, along with changing ways in which you vocalize can help diminish them.

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 2

part 2 wohoooo!! this is honestly such a cute story i love writing it, im currently finishing the last part so i’ll probably update very soon!

part 1

masterlist

The awkwardness soon vanishes. This clear new chapter we just opened with Shawn allows me to loosen up and just enjoy a nice evening. Aaliyah and Eric seems satisfied with the outcome, the parents seem to hit it off quite easily and when we leave they already start making plans for another meetup.

“It was so nice meeting you!” Karen sighs happily as she hugs goodbye to all of us.

“You too, email me that recipe you told me about!” Mom points at her and she nods her head laughing.

I’m just about to step out of the house when Aaliyah grabs my wrist and pulls me back. I look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I need your help with a little something. Can you come over sometime tomorrow?” she whispers confidentially.

“Um, yeah. Around what time?” I ask.

“Three pm?”

“Sure,” I smile at her and she lets go of me.

On the way back home I’m thinking about what Aaliyah could need help with and the only thing I have in mind is Eric’s birthday that is on the 29th. She must be planning something special for him.

I call Maddi around midnight when I’m already in my pj’s, but I know she must be still up, maybe even drunk. For my surprise, she answers the phone quite modestly.

“How was the family union?” she asks chewing on something. I throw the cushions off of my bed and crawl under the blanket.

“Um, very interesting,” I chuckle closing my eyes and just shaking my head at the thought of the evening.

“Uh, spill the tea!” She cheers clearly very thirsty for some drama, though this story is not as juicy as she would want it.

“Guess who Aaliyah’s brother is!” I say, but I don’t expect an answer so I just continue. “Shawn Effing Mendes.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?” She gasps. “How did Eric forget to tell you this small detail?”

“Apparently, he thought it doesn’t matter to me, which is kind of true, but there is more.”

“What more? Did he hit on you? Because I’m not talking to you again if he did. He is hot!”

“No, he didn’t, but what you don’t know is that we have history.”

“Okay, now I’m confused!? How do I not know about this?”

“Well, remember my ex, Dylan? I told you about him.”

“Yeah, the asshole who cheated on you,” she hums.

“Well, Dylan and Shawn used to be best buds when we started dating, but the guy hated my guts, or so I thought. He was always mean to me, talking against me and just… avoiding me like the plague.”

“I thought he is the nicest person on earth.”

“He might be now, but when I knew him, he treated me like shit. So it was pretty awkward to see him again after all these years.”

“And how did it go? Was he an ass again?”

“No. He was… nice. Well, we both acted awkward in the beginning, I didn’t know if he would continue his act with me, but he turned out to be nice. And then at one point he told me he is sorry for everything in the past and he was just acting like that because he wanted to amuse Dylan.”

I turn to my side and stare out the window.

“That’s good, right? I mean, he grew out that mean phase and he is all good now.”

“Yeah, it’s just still weird to be around someone I knew from my Dylan phase.”

“But it’s Eric who is dating Aaliyah, why would you be constantly around him?”

“Aaliyah asked me to go over tomorrow, I think she is trying to put a surprise together for Eric’s birthday, so I’m spending the afternoon at the Mendes house.”

“Oh, then keep me updated about the details and sneak me a shirtless photo of Shawn please.”

“Maddi!” I scoff laughing. “Why would I even see him shirtless?”

“Maybe he likes wandering around in his home without clothes on, how would I know?!”

“Unbelievable. I’m going to sleep.”

“Bye bitch,” she sighs making me roll my eyes at her smiling.

“Bye.”

  I sleep late the next day, it’s past noon when I actually make it downstairs looking like a real human being. Eric and Dad are watching a documentary on WW II. while Mom is reading the newspaper at the dining table. I join her with a bowl of cereal.

“Do you have any plans for today?” She smiles at me over her narrow glasses as she turns a page. I lean closer hitting a confidential tone.

“I’m helping Aaliyah today, she asked me to go over around three.”

“Oh, birthday surprise for Eric?” she asks clearly excited.

“I think yeah.”

“Great. And you will probably see Shawn again.” Winking at me she puts the papers down.

“Why does that matter?” I ask with my mouth full. She caresses my cheek before standing up and walking over to the sink for some water.

“Isn’t he a nice young man? I think the two of you would look cute together.”

“Mom, you are literally talking about the biggest pop sensation, he is not really the kind of guy who just casually dates,” I say.

In my mind all these celebrities are living their wildest life. Even if I were interested in Shawn in any way, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even get in the game, he must have thousands of girls waiting for him in line. We are not really on the same page.

“Oh, come on. You guys knew each other in high school, you have a past, that connection must mean something!”

“He was an ass to me!” I blurt it out making her eyebrows raise.

“He was? What did he do?”

“It’s nothing,” I roll my eyes, but Mom gives me a demanding look. “He just didn’t seem to like me no matter what I did, he was avoiding me most of the time when I was with Dylan and also made some pretty rude comments sometimes.”

“Maybe he was into you,” Mom shrugs and I almost choke on the milk.

I start coughing like I’m about to die and my eyes start watering when I’m finally able to breathe evenly again.

“No fucking way!”

“Charlie! Language!” She hisses at me, but there is a smile hiding in her eyes. “You know, young boys tend to do it. They are mean to the girls they like.”

“Mom, it wasn’t in kindergarten, it was ninth grade or something. I think he just really didn’t like me back then and I don’t blame him.” I was annoying, thinking back at it. But hey, all teens are annoying!

“You can never know,” she sighs.

 I totally ignore the theory Mom tried to make me believe, there is absolutely no chance of the nonsense she told me, and this is what I keep telling myself as I’m on my way to the Mendes house.

“Hey!” Aaliyah greets me with a wide smile. She is now wearing some more comfortable clothes than the last two times I saw her, the grey sweats and lose white shirt must be her home wear. “Come in! My parents are out at a friend’s place, and Shawn…” she starts, but just when she is about to finish he appears on the top of the stairs.

“Is here,” he chimes in. I look up and there he is, in a pair of checked pj pants and a black shirt. Looking at it, I think Aaliyah has his shirt on, it seems like the same size.

“Hi,” I smile at him.

“Come, let’s sit.” I follow Aaliyah into the living room and we sit down to the couch next to their Christmas tree. From the corner of my eyes I see Shawn going into the kitchen and for a moment I’m actually disappointed he is not coming with us.

“So. I want to surprise Eric with cooking for him, but I have no idea what. I tried to find out what’s his favorite, but he says it’s his favorite to everything!” she growls frustrated. I shake my head laughing.

“That’s typical.”

“Yeah. So do you have anything in mind?”

“Well, he really like tiramisu. He can eat tons of it, all the time. That’s good for dessert,” I offer. Aaliyah has her phone in her hands and she is typing everything I say down.

“Okay, got it.”

“Um, he likes gazpacho. He thinks it sounds fancy and you know, he likes everything with ketchup, so a soup that tastes like tomato was made for him.”

“Oh yeah, he pours so much ketchup into his sandwiches, it’s crazy,” she rolls her eyes jokingly. “Okay, so gazpacho. Anything else?”

“Um…” I try to think about the times we went to restaurants and Eric got really excited over the food. “Oh, we were once at a place and he ordered grilled mushrooms and he couldn’t stop moaning, it was very embarrassing, but I guess this meant he really liked it.”

“Grilled mushrooms, perfect,” she nods to herself noting everything down. “Do you mind helping me pick out his gift too? I have a few ideas, I want to go into the city and buy it tomorrow, I already looked up some jumpers online, but I can’t really decide.”

“Sure, show me!”

We spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through everything she had saved as a possible gift. She found some really nice ones, her taste is fantastic. As the time is passing I’m starting to feel like I’m with a friend and not with my brother’s girlfriend and I’m just hoping Eric will keep her around for a long time.

She asks me to stay a little bit longer so she can show me the awkward photos she has taken of Erik since they’ve been dating, but she gets a call and excuses herself quickly. I stay there in the living room, looking around a bit, I haven’t really had the chance yesterday, I was too occupied with the situation.

Shawn walks in, this time he has a headband on, keeping his locks back from his face.

Damn, Maddi is right. He is hot.

I shake my head at the thoughts and try to look as casual as possible.

“How is the birthday planning going?” he asks plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Good, Aaliyah basically had everything right, I just had to choose the best options.”

“How crazy is that our younger siblings are dating? I mean, I was thinking about it yesterday, the last time I saw Eric, he was about twelve or something. No wonder why I didn’t recognize him when I met him,” he chuckles and I nod agreeing. Aaliyah changed a lot in the past years too.

“Yeah. Strange that they are not babies anymore. I mean, I’m still mad that Eric is taller than me.”

“Oh I remember how you always wanted to get taller!”

“You remember?” I ask surprised. I used to never stop talking about my height, later I accepted my fate.

“Yeah, I remember once you told Dylan how you want to wear the highest heels to the dance so you two can be the same height.”

I laugh at the memory. I remember it too, it was quite early in our relationship and Dylan asked me out for the Halloween dance. I wanted to look taller and told Dylan I would wear heels. Of course, I ditched the plan as I found out how uncomfortable they are and ended up wearing my Converse.

“And at the end I looked like a punk princess with my Converse and mini skirt,” I scoff at the thought of my outfit for that night.

“I think you looked pretty,” Shawn says and I look at him. I catch his small smile before he shakes his head clearing his throat. What the Hell? “High school feels so far away, right?” he quickly says.

“Um, well for you I guess, for me… not really,” I chuckle shaking my head. “Your life got turned upside down, but not much has happened to me since then.”

“What? I don’t believe you. I’m sure you’ve been having plenty of fun. Parties, dates and everything.”

I can’t help, a sad smile plasters across my face. He can’t be more wrong.

“Not really… I had some rough years after Dylan and I split.”

“Can I ask what happened? I mean, after the split,” he shyly asks.

“Well, since I was a dumb naïve little girl, I needed an entire year before I could even think about getting to know other guys. Now it all just seems like the biggest bullshit. I shouldn’t have cared that much. And I’m not a fan of partying, I only go out on birthdays and maybe New Year’s Eve,” I shrug. Maddi has been trying to boost me up a bit, she attempts to drag me out every month or so, but I’m really not that kind of type. I thought I was, when I was with Dylan, he was a popular guy, I kept going to these lame parties with him in the last year of our relationship, but I never really enjoyed them. Shawn was long gone by then.

“I’m sorry Dylan played you so bad.”

“It’s fine, I mean, not your fault,” I chuckle. “But what happened to you and him?”

He sighs scratching the back of his neck.

“Not sure, I guess we grew apart and I realized that he is an ass. When I became a private student we kept in touch, but I met new people and I saw how different a friendship can be, so… I cut him off, I guess.”

“Did you guys fight?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “Well, we had one last very awkward phone call when I was in Atlanta, if I remember right. It was forced and… just awkward, really,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“And your life has been better since Dylan is out of it, right?” I grin at him.

“Yeah, you must know about it.”

I laugh nodding. I know everything about it!

Before I could even think about what I’m saying, my mouth just opens and the words roll down.

“The only good thing I got from my relationship with Dylan is that I know you now.”

My eyes widen and I wish I could take it back.

“I- uh I mean…”

I don’t even know why I’m so nervous suddenly, I didn’t even tell much. But for some reason, I can feel myself blushing.

“I meant that he basically ruined my senior year and I needed so much time to get myself over him, but at least now we can talk like, normal people,” I quickly add somehow saving the situation.

“What do you mean he ruined your senior year?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows and I’m happy he didn’t get caught up on what I said before that.

“Well, he successfully made me push all my friends away, leaving me totally alone when we broke up.”

“Wait, what? How about that friend of yours, um… I don’t remember her name, you always sat together at lunch.”

“Rochelle. Oh Dylan played us dirty. He told me Rochelle keeps hitting on him and being my dumb naïve self I believed him and not her. We had this huge fight and I called her a bitch. No wonder why she didn’t care about me when I was alone in the last couple of months of senior year.”

“Ouch, that sounds horrible. I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did we even like Dylan in the first place?” I ask laughing to myself. It still bothers me how blind I was, I wish I could just shake myself.

“I have no idea!” He sighs rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry your senior year got fucked up, I wish I could be there to have lunch with you.”

I turn to him and swear to God he is blushing! And it is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I feel the urge to touch him, anywhere, to take his hand in mine, but I stop myself.

“That’s… nice. Thank you,” I whisper touched.

As I’m staring at him I realize this is probably the closest I’ve ever been to him. I wonder how many girls want to be in my position, they see the popstar, the heartthrob from the stage, while all I see is the guy who used to be mean to me in high school but now we are friendlier than ever. I could never see him as a celebrity.

“Okay, so I found some- Oh am I bothering?” Aaliyah walks into the room with her phone in her hands and she is giving me a knowing look. I quickly clear my throat turning away from Shawn.

“No, you girls just… do your thing. I have to make a few calls.”

Shawn jumps up from the couch patting his sister’s shoulder before walking out of the room. Aaliyah takes his place, still grinning.

“What?” I ask her playing dumb.

“You guys… I felt the sparkle,” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“What sparkle? Aaliyah, you see everything in pink because of my brother.”

“Oh stop, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“I don’t know him,” I say truthfully. “The last time I saw him I was dating a douche and he was also being a douche to me. I can’t tell if I like him, because I don’t know his new self.”

“But you seem to get along with him pretty well and I’m sure you are attracted to him.”

“I’m not talking about this with you, you are his sister!” I gasp feeling myself blushing again.

“Whatever. But I think you two would look cute together.”

I refuse to carry on with the conversation about me and Shawn and Aaliyah fortunately doesn’t force it on me. I leave the Mendes house around five, Aaliyah thanks me the help and I can’t help but feel disappointed I don’t see Shawn anywhere when I’m leaving. Aaliyah’s speech about me and Shawn is slowly getting to me.

By dinner, all my thoughts are racing around him and soon I find myself stalking his social media profiles. I knew he is very famous, but seeing the numbers on his pages makes me gasp. Millions of people are following him, waiting for him to post anything. The last photo he uploaded to his Instagram is with his family, Karen and Manny are smiling proudly into the camera while Shawn and Aaliyah are messing around next to them. Before I could realize what I’m doing I double tap the picture liking it.

“Oh shit,” I suck my breath in. I hesitate, but then I realize how dumb this is. He must be getting millions of notes every minute, he won’t see this.

Gaining some confidence from this, I decide to follow him and continue my stalking session. I’m a few months deep into his profile when I get a notification. Opening the tab my eyes widen.

shawnmendes followed charlieprkr

I guess I was wrong about the notification getting lost. A moment later I see that he has liked two of my photos.

One was taken on a family vacation. Eric and I are posing at the beach, I have a red swimsuit on and the wind is blowing my wavy blonde hair that was so much lighter back than from all the sunshine. The other one is a picture Maddie took of me last month. I’m sitting in our armchair with a mug of tea in my hands, smiling shyly at the camera. We had Christmas lights in the window and the lights made me look colorful in the photo.

I’m just about to put the phone down and go to bed when I get a dm. I’m not surprised to see Shawn’s username, but I definitely get excited.

shawnmendes I’m happy I’m not the first one to accidentally like your photo, though I was minutes away from that haha

I smile at the message rolling my eyes.

charlieprkr Ha. Ha. I was hoping I can easily hide in the millions of your followers.

shawnmendes You could have, if only I weren’t stalking your profile as well. Fate?

charlieprkr I guess.

My fingers linger across the keyboard, trying to think of something else to write and keep the conversation up, but nothing comes to my mind. I almost give up when I get another message from him.

shawnmendes I’m in a nostalgic mood, I want to have a walk in the neighborhood, around our school tomorrow. Would you like to join me?

My smile grows wider than ever reading his lines.

charlieprkr Totally.

shawnmendes Great! Sometime around 4 pm?

charlieprkr Perfect. Where?

shawnmendes I’ll meet you at your house and we’ll go from there.

charlieprkr Then see you tomorrow!

shawnmendes Yeah, good night Charlie.

[fmddevin]

take care of me: daein’s story of fear.

scenario: so this is about the very first time daein tripped on acid & also his first bad trip. so....you could say he was pretty scared. big reason he doesn’t do lsd much. word count: 2,200 😳 notes: please know this isn’t saying if you get high you’re the same as very stupid kim daein. this is just his experience where tbh, a lot contributed to his bad trip. just please be safe & smart ok!!!!!!! and also, he’s dumb, especially in this phase of his life, and says/does some dumb things!! they don’t reflect my views. in fact...i cringed writing 98% of this. but also! if things like drugs & overdose and anything else in the tags make you uncomfy, please don’t read this...it might bother you! there’s also quite a bit of cursing. and i hate this & it’s not good AT ALL but i’m running out of time so i have to post it. anyways that’s all, ily all <3)

everything started off fine.

everything started off perfectly fine, and that was the scariest part.

there he was, in the center of the room, staring down a girl with her friends on the other side of the room.  he was still too sober, too bored, and was wondering where a few drinks could land him by the end of the night. truth be told, the usual routines were getting to be repetitive - get drunk, find a girl, land in bed by 3am, kick her out before his parents woke him up in the morning. but that was becoming a little too predictable, and tonight daein was craving a change of pace. he’d even gotten their early, thinking that getting there at the start of the party would hype him up. he only intense disappointment of a near empty room, not yet at it’s peak.

“you don’t look like you’re having much fun.”

huh? he can’t tell if he said it out loud over the blaring music, but from his furrowed eyebrows he’ sure the girl in front of him can sense his confusion. he scans her over, but nothing’s coming to him. no name, no potential friends - hell, did she even live here? because he swears he’s never seen her before, and if he did he would’ve tried talking to her a long time ago. “i mean - i guess. i might dip - party’s kinda dead, you know?”

she takes a step closer, and her unexpected proximity almost causes him to step back. “or maybe you’re just dead. what’s your name? i might be able to help you out,” she offers, gesturing across the room. shit. she wanted him that quick? that was a record, and he’s already getting himself ready to go before she turns around to him. 

“i have a friend here, he’s probably got something that’ll make you have some fun. i’ll tell him to hook you up.” for a second, he has no idea what she’s saying, and the only thing that’s really processing is that he won’t be getting laid tonight. deflating in every sense, and mouth agape in embarrassment as she talks,  he can only mumble a small thanks as he follows instructions.  really, he had no reason to comply, but trusting a random stranger seemed like the most exciting opportunity that would come to him for a while. only after she continues he gets it, and as he’s following her across the cup littered room he sees him. he would’ve just dismissed the guy in the corner of the room as a wallflower if he didn’t know any better, and although he’s getting the gut feeling that he shouldn’t be doing this he walks up to the expectant male.

“first time?”

“uh...no, dude. i’ve smoked plenty of times.” for a guy who pretends to be such a badass, he obviously’s the lamest of the bunch, because the other two begin cackling at his response. was that the wrong thing to say? so he laughs, along with them, pretending he’s in on a joke - even though it might be him.

“you’re funny. but for real, you’ve tried acid before, right? i don’t want to give it to you if you can’t handle it, man.”

 shit. acid? shit. this was really….really getting real. here he was, thinking he was getting a discount on some weed, when peeking out between the other’s hands is something much smaller than what he was expecting. he’s puzzled, but tries his best not to show it and shake the feeling off. “nah, im good. just a little nervous, that’s all. i haven’t….done this in a while, so….yeah.” by now he knows he sounds stupid, but this wasn’t what he signed up for when he agreed to come to this party. but what was he supposed to do? he had asked for fun and here came his saving grace - who was he not to accept an offer given to him so conveniently? fear is only reluctance about the unknown, he reminds himself. he’s not really scared to try it, he’s just scared because he doesn’t know what to expect. 

daein’s a sixteen year old phony, a kid from florida who smoked his first joint and thought he was the big man on campus. hell, he barely got away with sneaking that past his parents. how was he going to manage this? alcohol was predictable. he knew his body, and knew he could recover by the time he was supposed to be back from a “sleepover” with his friend. he’s never done anything above those things, and quite honestly is scared to try. but it wouldn’t hurt, just this once. he’s not going to let some nerves ruin his fun, right?”

“so…? you joining, or what, man?” daein’s lost in thoughts until he becomes aware of the awkward stare off, coughing uncomfortably. “oh - right, right. how much?” he asks, bringing his hand toward his wallet before the other brings it back down. he’s told not to worry about it, that it’s on the house - as long as he comes to him next time he wants to buy. just like that, it’s in his hand - what was it, exactly? a little square, almost like a piece of paper. it took multiple shots to knock him out cold. it was hard to imagine this would do anything.

looking around the circle they’ve formed, he’s watching to see who’s going to go first. not so much because of his nerves, but more because he doesn’t really know shit about what he’s doing. other kids might have learned from the movies or watched their friends, but these saturday night sneak-outs were the only times daein really got a glimpse of the real world. if he wasn’t here, he was at home studying, sleeping, or eating. but always, always under the watch of his parents. they were like hawks, which may have explained his desire to act out just this once where he wasn’t under their control.

everyone brings the thin slip to their lips - daein follows suit. everyone puts it under their tongue - he follows again. it’s like a game of simon says, except daein doesn’t really know what voice in his head is telling him to do all this. do i swallow it? do i chew? but no one else seems to do much else, so he lets it do it’s job.

now, the party’s starting, he thinks. except….it’s not. an hour passes. hell, wasn’t this stuff supposed to mess you up? he can barely feel a difference and it feels like he’s been waiting for hours. “i don’t feel shit,” he rather obnoxiously complains, only feeling the same boring buzz of alcohol. he wants more than this.

“dude, is this all you’ve got? you’re fucking weak. come on, i told you i’m not a lighthead. do you have anything else?”

“trust me, just chill out for a bit. it’ll kick in - i swear, you don’t need anything else.”

daein’s eyes plead for a reconsideration, but by the look on this guy’s face he’s not going to risk it. fine, he thinks. he doesn’t want to help him out? daein’s gonna speed up the process.

“pussies.” another shot.

but now….now he’s feeling something. the teen swears its because that one last shot gave him that extra push he needs, but after a while he’s not convinced that’s it. because it’s like a feeling in his chest, a feeling that’s getting bigger and bigger until it’s almost boiling over. he feels like he has bubbles in his stomach.

skip forward thirty minutes later, and it’s really kicking in. holy shit. he can feel every one of his toes, he swears, and when he tells his friends they tell him he’s gone crazy. it feels like the lights are getting hotter and hotter, and he wonders if it’s because he’s been dancing or it’s just his imagination. and honestly? he feels good. it’s like he’s really in one of those coming of age movies, everything seems so fun and everything is so funny. it’s like he’s dancing on the clouds, and daein gives himself a pat on the back for ever thinking this was a good idea.

it was different, but definitely manageable. this is nice, this is fine, he thinks. but the problem is, it’s like he’s going up an elevator he can stop.he wants everything to….stop here, but it’s not. fuck - how’s he going to get home.

now he’s got a new goal - have someone take him home, and take him home now. the feeling in his chest hasn’t subsided, and something’s telling him he hasn’t reached his peak high yet. what the hell was he going to do if he saw his parents like that? it was one thing climbing a fence drunk, but this….this was definitely different. he doesn’t have a clue how he’ll be able to sneak into his house like this - hell, he can hardly make it across the room. everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion around him, like he’s the only one who knows what’s going on. louder than the music, the voices, everything, he can hear his heart. it gets louder, louder, louder - shit, was it gonna beat out his chest?

“shit, is it gonna be out my chest?”

“what, is what gonna be out your che - man, what’d you take? you look awful.”

he knows that, but what can he do about that right now? he’s hot, at least, it feels like he is, but everything about him seems heavy and he’s not even sure he can wipe the sweat from his forehead. it seems like he has a piece of crinkled plastic over his eyes, like something’s stopping him from seeing clearly. he can’t see. it seems like every time he panics, he feels worse, and although he tries to calm down he’s not doing too good.

“home - i’ve gotta head home - now.”

“no can do. ask….tyler or something, i don’t know. i’m headed out with marina.”

“but-” he’s never heard himself this desperate. “-please.”

“sorry, devin. duty calls.”

duty calls. that’s his thing. and now that he’s the one asking for the ride, he realizes how shit the phrase really sounds. he’s the king of egocentrism, because all he can think is aren’t i more important? but he’s getting too unbothered to care, and through hooded eyes watches the other leave through the back door.

he makes the mistake of slumping down into the chair, and with how heavy his body seems it feels like he’s sinking into the carpet. he has to remind himself that he’s okay, that everything’s just an illusion, but it’s hard to remember when he feels like he’s falling further and further into the ground.

he’s sitting down, and still, it’s all just too much. he wants to throw up. there’s nowhere to go - his friends are assholes, and his parents will beat his ass. so he figures he’s a badass and can wait it out, and tries to close his eyes. but that doesn’t block out everything. he still hears the loud noises, feels the bodies brushing past him, feels like someone’s moving his chair around and around again. and for the first time that night, he realizes how alone he can feel around so many people. because he has no one. his heart’s getting louder, still. he’s slumped over a chair in the middle of a party and he thinks he’s gonna die. all he can think is - 

“how the hell did i get here?”

hot. cold. hot. cold. from breaking out into sweating fits to random spurts of chills, everything’s out of wack. and the funny part? he’s not even blaming it on the acid, he just wishes he knew where the thermostat is. but he can’t even find out, because the soles of his feet feel as if they’d got shackled down. he can’t go anywhere, and this is not ok.

he knows he needs to calm down, but the more he worries the faster the room seems to spin. the louder it seems to get, and the more daein wishes that it would all just stop. when he tries to get up again, only this time, he really feels like he’s headed for the floor.

until there’s nothing, nothing but darkness.

[wang-yeon]

Bittersweet Tragedy| Min Yoongi Pt.1

summary: Y/N has always been a sweet girl always seeing the light parts in everyone rather than focusing on the darkness riddled inside them. Min Yoongi is filled with this darkness not allowing the light to shine through making him remain in a bitter state. Both come together due to work, bumping heads along the way but she wont let that define there relationship. Y/N seeks to have Yoongi open up and talk about his dark past so the light will finally be able to shine through. Or will Yoongi keep it sealed shut for anyone's eyes.

Warning: cursing, sexual themes?, I honestly dont know,

Word Count: 6.4 K

Pairing: Min Yoongi X reader, slight J-hope but really none

A/N: So i had a lot more to add but just thought that i would make this a series so this is part 1, so more to come man. Hopefully it doesn't suck to much! Side note i was listening to my music and the Tokyo Ghoul theme song came on and i lost it

You mostly will come across people in your life who will change you in either a negative of positive way. Hopefully along the way you find the positiveness along the high road. You may perceive this person as a lonely faced strange as did i. I had the grateful opportunity of having someone coming into my life and enhancing my perspective on things. Surely enough things were likely to crash and burn, you see our acquaintance was sort of bitter sweet. We were polar opposites, yet we managed to come to terms with it eventually. At the start of it all it was clear to see that we weren't a a perfect collision.

"Well, it seems to me that you appear to be the perfect fit for the job. I look forward for your future work ethics apart of our businesses."

I looked up anxiously feeling the relief soon take over my veins. I had been fidgeting in my seat attempting to seemingly have everything figured out. In reality i had been chipping at my cheap nail polish finding it as some sort of calming reassurance. I had been beating myself up over this interview grasping onto any opportunity to be somehow associated with them. I had been involved with cooking since my grandmothers baker opened long ago. Since a teenager I had been working there with a smile painted on my face but my grandma saw past that. After hours i would look at the newspapers and find any articles referencing the restaurant I dreamed to work at. My grandma wanted me to strive for excellence making her arrange this very moment.

"Oh thank you sir i promise i wont disappoint."

I had managed to hold a professional exterior while my whole interior was bursting from excitement brought to you by the excelling news. I got myself up from the uncomfortable chair fixing my skirt in the process making my way over to him to shake his hand in gratitude.

"It is a pleasure to work for you sir, thank you for the lovely interview."

I shook his hand firmly before making my way to the door. I reached my hand to the door nob before my actions came to a halt of a voice.

"Oh yes Mrs., i forgot to inform you that you will be the assistant chef of Min Yoongi meaning you will prepare the side dishes and care to his needs. I'm sure you will fit right in."

It was as if my eyes had lost a slight bit of hope. Hope that was seeking to create my own main dishes ones that would make peers mouth water with delight. Maybe this interview was to far fetch, what was i expecting for it to all be handed to me. I actually need to work for it and show people i was capable. It might be a long journey of someone who is gonna boss me around and lecture me about my capability but its all about my excellence. In the end i have the opportunity of working at my dream job. So i didn't imagine the roll that i got would be this but at least they saw something in me and i aimed to do something with it.

After the interview i left with a very evident smile painted on my face. I was lucky to work for them and i couldn't wait to tell others around me about my rising career. I had been on the city bus standing up awaiting for an open seat. I scrolled through the notifications looking for a simple text from my roommate Hobi.

[Y/N] 2:32 PM

I GOT THE JOB! Open up that bottle of wine in the cabinet, and not that cheap shit either

[Y/N] 2:38 PM

Alright it wasn't a big job they assigned me, so you might want to get that cheap wine out.

[Y/N] 2:46 PM

seriously Hobi this is still a big deal to me. Cant we get at least a little drunk. Or at least text me back.

I frowned looking at the lack of reply. Me and Hobi met from working at my grandmothers bakery. We were both hormone filled teenagers being suffocated by life. We had our moments most of them remained intimate till we reached our early twenties. Since then we see each other as nothing more than best friends. I mean the occasional kiss would come along but it was always seen as a friendly demeanor.

I looked up searching for any open sits since the next stop was approaching. The doors open as people flooded as others seek for there way out. I diverted my eyes to every possible corner looking for an available sit till i found one. I rushed my way over knocking few people out of the way before i was met with my destination. Before i knew it i felt a pair of slumping shoulders push me from the spot i was wishing for.

By this point we were both half way in the seat looking at one another in the eye. I would say from first glance he was truly attractive but his actions showed the true disgust lurking in his system. Me being the naturally problem free person i am i chose to distinguish the problem by having a civil conversation to resolve everything.

"Excuse me,but i was seated here first. So could you ever so kindly get up from my spot please."

The male looked at me with wide eyes as if what i had said was an absurd option. The male tilted his head looking at me with the same bored expression taking in the situation.

"I have you know that i was here first. So why dont you remove yourself from the situation and leave me to be. Your company is clearly not needed."

I clutched onto my jacket as the words left his mouth that didn't seem to phase him one bit as it did for me. I opened my mouth to say something be chose to get up instead and nod my head. Maybe he could have been having a bad day, he doesn't have much power over his actions in such a bad state. Possibly something happened through out his day. Lets not let this one preposterous situation define him. After my final thought i carried on with a smile standing up not minding the evident stares shared by him and other people seated on the city bus.

The bus had reached my destination as i followed out the door of other seeking the go home safely. I had been walking down the street about to turn the corner of my apartment complex before a voice brought me out of the process.

"Are you following me? Okay lady i get that i didn't give up my seat at the bus but this is just absurd."

I turned my head to be met with the male that sat on the bus. I exhaled slowly at seeing his being back in my presence. Its not that he wasn't attractive he certainly was, It just half of the things that he would say would come out in nonsense that set out to run in someones day. I couldn't tell if he truly set out to do such things, but it seemed like it would take a lot of prying to understand the damage that has possible been done.

"I actually live in this apartment complex, im sorry to burst your bubble but i dont have the will power to actually stalk you."

I know the comment i had said was slightly snippy making me cringe at the fact that i even let those words erupt from my mouth. Judging by his still bored facial expression it didn't seem to effect him. I hadn't liked the fact of hurting someone in any type of way it being emotional, physically mental etc. What was the point of bringing someone else self confidence down by broken words, but judging by the man the stood before me he didn't live by these rules.

"Whatever, just stay away from me you nut bag. I dont want to be associated with people like you."

"Like wise."

I displayed a kind hearted smile before taking the short cut of the apartment complex not wanting to have the liberty of running into him again.Due to my abundant disappearance it was clear that he wasn't finished with the conversation. Im sure he gets people riled up all the time each person displaying the same reaction as for i, I dismissed his ignorance and replaced it with a striving goodness. This simple behavior was sure enough to cause his efforts to back fire and make him even more agitated. I didn't pay him any mind as he shouted profanities at me longing for my attention, one he did not seek.

I had reached the apartment with a short of breath. I had ran some of the was afraid that the male would actually try and find me again just to fill my ears with his ignorance. I fished for my keys hearing the pleasant clanking of the keys. I shoved the key in the lock before twisting the door open. I was greeted by darkness as i closed the door confusion filling my system. I felt around for the light before turning it on and seeing a passed out Hobi on the couch with half of a bottle of wine. I chuckled at his ways looking around the apartment being met with a congratulations banner and party hats missing the warm head of there owners.

I reached over to Hobi to wake him out causing a small animistic noise to come from him. Hobi opened his eyes diverting them around the room before he locked eyes with me puffing his cheeks out and clinging onto me for dear life.

"Oh Y/N im so sorry i didn't reply to your texts but i was gathering everything for the surprise. I had been waiting for you so long that i some how opened the bottle of wine and fell asleep."

"Yea im sorry i got into an altercation on the bus."

Hobi let go of me looking me over with a confused look while the other half of his body still remains in a drunken haze.

"Why are you so late? What could you possibly do for the past couple of hours?"

"I ran into this guy on the way."

Hobi looked me over with a knowing look. This look meaning that he was hinting at me getting laid, being completely false. Hobi would often get jealous at these comments of me having sex with someone else that wasn't him. He would play it off fairly well but what lurked beneath him was unspeakable, better felt untamed.

"Was he cute, cuter than me?"

"Of course not Hobi."

I smile at the comment leaving my mouth seeing the viable happiness display his features. Sure the brooding stranger was cute but he lacked the happiness that lurked in his system. Maybe i could find a way to actually add some amount of sweetness into his system rather it being strictly bitter.

I brushed off the though focusing back on Hobi and planting a kiss to his cheek forming a blush. I patted his head making my way to my room, as i made my exit Hobi faintly announced that he would be driving me to work on my first day. I rolled my eyes playfully at his sincere comment before settling in my bed and letting the sleep take over my system.

Me and Hobi had been arguing over directions in the car for over a half an hour struggling to find the right coordinates to my destination. We originally stopped at a local fast food place willing to sell us breakfast and since then we had been on our lost journey. Luckily me and Hobi had a some what amount of hope in our system striving for good things. With this mindset we managed to reach the destination at hand with a small huff.

We were seated in the parking lot as i closed my eyes while Hobi whispered reassuring words. I had been extremely nervous due to the amount stress and worry i had built up over the years in anticipation of finally being apart of the company name. It felt as if at any moment i could crush the company name and my name as well. Times like this it felt like all my hope had ran out and naturally i was a very optimistic person taking very little to bring me down. While i was lost in my own anxiety and stress built up over this Hobi still remained with a smile bright on his face holding me sweetly and making me feel slightly at peace.

"I dont think i can do this, lets just go back home."

Hobi's smile had completely vanished as those words left my mouth turning into a bewildered look. Hobi turned my body to face his making sure he captured my attention. Hobi's hands soon grasped my face looking into my eyes as he let the heartfelt words leave his lips.

"I dont ever want you to say something as absurd as that again. You can do anything, you are the most talented person i know and you need to put that to use. I want you to go out there and show everyone in that building what the talented Y/N can do, im sure they will be stunned. Not only by your amazing efforts but also from your beauty. You'll do amazing, trust me. Trust your hop, im your hope."

Hobi finished his sentence by flapping his hands pretending he was an angel making a giggle irrupt from my system. Hobi smiled at my small amount of happiness displaying.

"Thanks Hobi that means a lot."

"Dont mention it now go in there and kick some ass! Show them what my girl is made of."

And with that he kissed me on the cheek and motioned me out the door waiting for me to begin my work journey. It was alone to take in but with Hobi's encouraging words im sure tings couldn't turn out as bad as i persevere them to be. Think positive and everything around you will turn positive.

Oh how wrong could i have been. Everything had started out decent. Meeting with the boss and arranging my uniform was possibly the highlight of the day that hasn't even begun. I sported a smile on my face as i fixed my uniform that fit my body rather tightly but put it off as i exited the bathroom. I rounded the corner meeting with the boss to met the chef that i would be assisting. This is where it had all began to go down hill. I glanced up to be met with the same slugging shoulders i had been met with last night and by the tense glare on his face he remembered me as well.

"Oh i assume you know each other." The boss said glancing at us with a small smile

"Oh yes, we are merely acquaintances. Sad that we had to met again at such sort notice."

I mentally rolled my eyes at his behavior and how hostile he was being especially in front of our boss. I haven't even know this guy for a full 24 hours yet he was already getting under neath my skin, but i wasn't gonna let him know that and accept that victory.

"Oh,is this gonna be a problem?"

"Oh not at all sir. I promise this wont affect business affairs."

With that the boss left with a small nod as i smiled turning back to the broad shoulders guy. He looked down at me with a curious expression as if he was trying to read me but was failing at trying to retrieve information.

"Why do you smile all the time. It very off putting."

"Its better than having a permanent scruff on my face all the time. Rather spend my life happy then limping around for nothing."

I smiled politely in his face showing no sign of his effective words. I could tell that the words that i said were having a problem building up over him. It was as if i was the one truly getting under his skin, oh how the tables have turned.

"Hello, Im Y/N and your name is?"

I decided to dismiss the awkward encounter to be passed us and move strictly to work, after all it was my first day and i didn't seek to cause any trouble. The male looked at me choosing not to answer my question as he was still in his brooding phase. I looked at his name tag closely since he decided not to answer. ‘Min Yoongi’ i whispered to myself. I looked back up and flashed a smile at him holding my hand out.

"Okay there is seriously something wrong with you."

"Oh no, nothings wrong with me i just chose not to continue with such rude behavior at work. We have no need to treat each other so rudely."

"Yeah, im gonna have to disagree. I dont like you, meaning i dont want to be associated with you. I dont want you to be nice to me, in fact treat me like shit or dont talk to me. Simple as that."

Min Yoongi placed my hand back at my sides eyeing me carefully as he let those words fly from his mouth awaiting for my answer. I knew what he was trying to do. It must have been a retrial where he would try and break people down with his words seeking for them to hate him. It was a weird craving to saw the least but if it filled him with satisfaction, may he be.

"Well looks like we just wont talk to one another. Such a shame you seemed like a joyful person to talk to. Maybe next time."

I titled my eyes placing a small frown on my face signifying the sadness in my voice. Min Yoongi smirked at my words taking them as a competitive tone. Was this what he saw it as? A game. All he wanted to do was push my buttons but i would show no distress only making him boil even more. I guess i sort of morphed itself into a childish game to see which one of us could break first. I took the lead.

"So that um, guy outside waiting in the car with you. Was that your boyfriend."

I looked over at him with a confused facial expression that that sentence dared to leave his mouth. Had his past words were just a sign of flirt, if it was he surely has a weird way of showing his emotions. I could tell he was a bit flustered but still remained that tough exterior as i wondered what was held inside. He did seem like he was totally different from the inside and i aimed to get inside of there, no matter how hard.

"Table 12 ordered this, please try not to make any mistakes they were very snippy."

My thought was cut short as the waiter approached us in the kitchen giving us the order. Min Yoongi completely dismissed his previous comment as he began eyeing the order and preparing the dish not minding me any businesses.

"Okay ill work on the side dish."

"I rather have you do nothing so you wont mess anything up, but i guess you have to be some what useful."

I huffed at his comment making him smile in victory earning himself a point of the score board. I hated when people would question my ability, i already questioned myself enough about i didnt need other peoples input. As usual i put a smile on my face and pushed it aside focusing on what i can make of the situation. I could either prove him wrong or let him have the victory of seeing the disappointment in my face. I aimed to set out with the first choice as it seemed more promising.

I had been working on the side dish for a few agonizing minutes putting as much passion as i could muster. I could feel Min Yoongi's judgmental eyes steady on me and i could tell he wanted to add his input but for what ever god given reason he didnt, thank you. Yet i could still hear his thoughts provoking me at ever move.

'That’s to much seasoning'

'add more salt we dont want the dish to be as bland as your face'

'You call this a meal, it looks like the trash resembling your face.'

'You might as well give up now. you'll go now where in life with this profession'

At that final stop i decided to motivate myself harder. I had a secret weapon that no one else had. I had stuffed my grandmothers special seasoning into my bra. I know it is a very absurd place to hold something in but i was in a rush this morning. The seasoning will surly enough send anyone's taste buds into pure euphoria. I carefully pulled out the concoction from my bra adding a dash into the dish.

"What the hell are you doing? Did you seriously just pull that out of your bra? Are you trying to kill someone, are you a spy, I knew you were a stalker."

I glanced over my shoulder meeting the eyes of Min Yoongi as his eyes traveled to the seasoning in my hand. I guess it was a little weird carrying this around in my bra but it came in handy. I dismissed his comment and kept applying the seasoning, only making him freak out more.

"What the hell do you think your doing! For all i know that could be crack and your smuggling it into the food."

"Calm down. Its nothing out of the ordinary, its not going to harm anyone."

Min Yoongi looked at me as if i had two heads eyeing the small package i had in my hand. It did look slightly suspicious but it had good intentions. Min Yoongi began to reach over for my dish attempting to make his repairs making me protest placing the dish in front of me. Min Yoongi backed up behind me attempting to reach the plate but failed miserably. We ad been arguing over the plate that we didnt even notice that the waiter took it along with Min Yoongi's dish leaving us in an awkward stance.

Min Yoongi's hands hand been along my waist and his entire back side pressed against my ass. I hate to admit it but it wasn't a bad feeling. Sure the circumstances were but over all it felt like an overwhelmingly good experience, one that was cut all to sort. Me and Min Yoongi raced over to the door peeking out the door window to see the reactions.

I had to remain on jumping cause i couldn't reach the door windows making Min Yoongi chuckle. He reached over and guided me in front of him and placing my feet on his shoes causing a bust in height. The simple gesture made me smile, maybe he did have a sweet side to him and he was finally accepting it.

"Im only doing this so you can see you frailer commence."

And there it goes. At least it lasted for some amount of time rather than none. He truly was a good guy at heart, well at least thats what i could assume about him. I didnt like seeing the worst in people, I rather point out the good no matter how bitter hearted he was. Deep down inside he had to be kind hearted you just had to search for it. I could faintly feel his heart beating against my back making me let out a content sigh. I was gonna find the good in him i knew it.

"Oh shit, hurry move."

Min Yoongi quickly moved from the door turning to his previous stance before the waiter left making me stumble before copying Min Yoongi's actions. The waiter searched around the room before facing me and Min Yoongi. I looked at the waiter in an anxious glare waiter for his question.

"Which one of you made the side dish?"

"It was her, all her idea.I had nothing to do with it. In fact i tried to stop her."

I looked at Min Yoongi and how fast he acted in ratting me out. What did i aspect this was his typical behavior and i let one solemn moment decide other wise, a moment that didn't even mean anything. I closed my eyes letting out a shaky breath accepting defeat feeling the smirk creep on his face. The waiter looked at me seeing if it was true waiting for my response.

"Yes sir, it was me."

The waiter pulled out his notepad and wrote down the information before disappearing out the door for good this time. I diverted my eyes around the room to nervous to even deal with Min Yoongi comments of despair, but i knew that wouldn't stop him.

"Look what you did your probably cost us our jobs now."

There were more comments after that one but i decided to tune them out already knowing they were true but not wanting to come to terms with the fate. Min Yoongi grew tired of my silence turning me to face him placing his hands on my shoulders firmly.

"Yes, i understand what i did might effect us but can you please stop giving me shit about it. I already feel bad enough please stop making it worst."

Tears began welling in my eyes as i spoke my words softly afraid my voice might crack making myself seem even more weak. I had let myself down along with him. I deserved to be called names and be written for my wrongs but i could only take so much. That was possibly the biggest difference between me and him. I was living in a hopeful word rely on the faith of the unbelievable while he lived in the truth and cruel world, pointing everything out. I just couldn't handle it.

Min Yoongi was stunned by my new emotions making his face soften and his hands come to his sides not knowing how to react. Min Yoongi opened his mouth to say some sort of an apology but couldn't muster one. I didnt blame him his whole persona was based on telling people the harsh reality and not blinking a bit as the person accepts there faith.

"Y/N may you please step into my office."

Me and Min Yoongi looked over to the boss as i let out a tiny whimper.

"Wish me luck."

I said to Min Yoongi sarcastically with a saddened smile before making my way into the office. I closed the door behind me before sitting down in front of the desk. Hopefully luck would be by my side today, but even i knew that was to far fetched.

"I want you to be head chef, with a dish like yours you certainly deserve it. Then again you have just began working for us so i want to give you some time before we take such substantial steps."

I looked at the boss with wide eyes surprised by his out spoken words. Had they really left his mouth and were they the truth. He as right i had just began working here and he has only had a small taste of my abilities yet hes willing to see the potential leaking from my veins. I was honored to say the least.

"As for Min Yoongi, we believe he could do better. Hes been seeking for head chef for the majority of his career and we dont want to give up on him yet. Then you walk in and show us what we were truly looking for. I feel it is unfair that you oz such rare talent as he is stuck creating his own-"

The conversation had took a slightly sad turn. Focusing on Min Yoongi and his struggles.I began thinking of how truly unfair it was to walk in and demand someone of there long awaited dream. Sure Min Yoongi was bitter but something was down there beneath it all and maybe this promotion was what could bring it out. I could help him, sure he wouldn't like it but it would support him in the end.

"It will be an honor to teach him my skill, sir."

The words had slipped out my mouth with no control.

"Oh, um why yes. Let me just call for Min Yoongi to discuss the situation."

I could tell that he was shocked by my abundant words interrupting him from his speech. I had hope in Min Yoongi hope that other people didnt see and i aimed to help guide him. As he walks into the door he looks at me anxiously still thinking of the previous altercation i presume. His eyes then flicker to the boss his once anxious expression turning to a stone cold one.

"Now, Min Yoongi Y/N has graced me with the beautiful idea of her training you. Now i know this may sound absurd but hear me out. Her dishes are amazing and i feel like you should take note on her skill. Min Yoongi it has come to my attention that lately that certain areas in the kitchen isn't your strong hold and you need hel-"

"You need an understanding of other cooking styles. Thats what he means by the other areas around the kitchen and i think i can help with that. I can introduce you with the different diversities rather focusing on one single plan dish."

The both looked at me confused, Min Yoongi slightly irradiated by my comment. I wanted to save him the despair of our boss going on about how Min Yoongi had failed him at his efforts as i was being praised only just getting here today. It was enough to effect someone and question there motives.

"What do you mean? I am perfectly capable of doing everything on my own. I dont need your help nor do i strive for it. I dont appreciate you trying to help me when i can handle everything on my own."

I hung my head low making slight eye contact with our boss as he makes daggers at Min Yoongi's immature ways. I still wanted to help him after the small amount of shit he puts me through leaving me to deal with it.

"Y/N are you sure you want to go through with this?"

I nodded my head slightly feeling Min Yoongi's pupils glaring at my head in irritation. Any person would say i was being overly nice and have Min Yoongi accept his own faith rather me deciding for him but i say potential in him. You just had to look very close and i wasn't aiming on giving up on him just yet. He couldn't get rid of me just yet.

Yet.

"I cant believe you are actually doing this. I am perfectly capable on my own."

Thats what you think. If people actually opened there ind about you, you would finally understand.

"I know, i just feel like its okay to open your eyes to more opportunities. Like making different types of food and getting to know me."

I smiled and nudged his shoulder lightly earning a very small smile on his face making me gasp. We were already in a close tight net area due to riding the subway. Making it easy to see is every move and facial stretch.

He quickly denied it waving it off as if it was nothing. I smiled lightly looking over his features. He was truly attractive, I awaited to his beauty inside as well as i still seek to unleash it. I had roughly chipped the surface at his small smile. I was already eager for more.

"Stop staring at me. Its very creepy."

"I know you you secretly love it."

I smiled up at him smiling brightly in a joking manner. He playfully rolled his eyes some attaching his hand to mine. My heart jumped at the small gesture that seemed like a big step in whatever kind of friendship we had. He genitally rubbed his thumb across my hand showing a small amount of affection, this being very rare.

"Im only doing this because your hands seemed cold."

"Does this mean you actually care about me? Your showing a small amount of affection to me, caring about my well being. Im flattered."

Min Yoongi scrunched his face attempting to deny everything coming out from my mouth. He ended his long rant with a boop on my nose sitting back in the chair making me rub my nose. The subway had run oddly silent and sort of calming as people began to make there way out from the train. Soon the subway filled less people making it enough space for me and Min Yoongi to stretch around yet we stayed in our spots. I dragged my hand away from his as i began to play with his hair, a habit i had picked up due to Hobi. I began to hum softly.

"Why are you always so nice?"

My gaze quickly shifted to Min Yoongi as he began talking suddenly. I looked over him seeing as his eyes fixated on me as if they were the most caring and valuable in the world. It was odd to see him in such a trance, especially because of me.

"Well, I guess i just to prefer to see the light instead of the dark in people. Like you, you focus on the dark themes that float inside you rather than the light that is waiting to be a woken. I know its in there somewhere, we just got to look for it."

We

I hadn't meant for those words to slip from my lips as i saw Min Yoongi tense at the words. He slowly sat up at those words and took my hands from his hair, seeing the tense state took over his whole body.

"We?"

"Im sorry i didn't mean to say we, i didn't mean to scare you off or anything. Its just i dont like seeing this state of such bitterness and i can just sense that there is someone better and-"

"I've been by myself since the beginning. I haven't really had anyone else by my side to back me up or dig me out of this whole I've been trapped in. It just a really foreign feeling is all."

My eyes began to soften at his way of opening up in front of me. I had managed to crack the surface, but just the surface. I hadn't dived down yet still testing the waters afraid what might be lerking beneath them. I could sense the his tense state was cooling down as he began letting out what had been hiding inside him, guessing he hadn't really had anyone to tell his struggles to. As Min Yoongi spilled part of his demons to me he looked over at my body language silently cringing making me straighten up.

"Oh god,you feel sorry for me. Listen im not a pussy i dont need your pity."

Min Yoongi had then switched back on his rough exterior making me let out a sigh in defeat. At least i came semi far,i unlocked something. I looked over his body language trying to come up with a subtle approach.

"What, pity you? I could give less than a fuck about you."

We stared at each other as my comment had left my lips. I hadn't wanted it to come out that hard as i winced at my vulgar language. He hadn't said anything making me not move a muscle, all until i felt like i was about to explode.

"Im sorry I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I honestly do care about you, your my co-worker so naturally i do. Min Yoongi you are honestly an asshole but i cant help but show some ounce of sympathy whenever you endeared pain rather in the past or present."

My blurt seemed to tug his heart strings as he his hands on my knee turning slightly to get a better look at me. He winged my legs over his own making me in an even closer proximity than before. Why would i complain. Our faces were centimeters apart as he rubbed my knee ever so slightly raising up to my thigh.

"Call me Suga. All the people i care about often call me that."

He sported a warm smile and proceed to call me cute attempting to get rid of the fact that he had said he cared about me, but i couldn't forget. He had actually cared about my well being and that state it was in. It had brought a new form of affection it no my heart one far warmer and welcoming than any other. There was no way of knowing if he felt it too but one thing for certain was that i was falling for him and i had no way of knowing if he would even thinking about catching me if i do.

"Alright Suga."

Suga slightly tugged his lips as those words left my mouth accepting his proposal. His hands reached my thigh gripping it slightly enjoying hearing me saying Suga and seeing me squirm at the contact. Suga slightly looked me in the eyes with a sort of look making me melt at the thoughts the were possible occurring in his mind. His face became only inches away from mine as i felt the fan of his breath mix with mine. Sure we were still on the subway but its not like this didn't happen on a daily with people. The subway was filled with overly touchy people. What room for one more.

"You know what else i like about you, Y/N?"

Suga looked at me eagerly in the eyes as he licked his lips enjoying seeing me breathless under his control. Obeying under his control. His Lips were now inches away from mine leaving little to the imagination.

"I like-"

His hands grew higher close enough to my women hood making me jolt as he sported a victorious looking smirk.

"I like, how easy to tease you are."

Suga quickly kissed my nose turning back to his previous position and pushing me away, leaving me bothered by his actions.

The possible worst part had been that his simple peck on my nose had sent me into over drive, leaving me a hormonal mess.

Asshole.