#so its canon that isagi used to cry a lot as a child

[coldhndss]

Tulip 1/2 ft. Isagi. Y

The static sound of your fan blows strongly, circulating the same suffocating air around your room. You lay on your bed, listless. 

It’s been hours, no, days since your phone last buzzed. Looks like everyone’s out, doing their own thing. Going to the beach, shopping, hiking or just hanging out with friends. 

You sit up and glance towards your bedside table. There, lies a photo of your excited classmates together, with Yoichi adorning a shy smile in the middle. His extended leave from school was unexpected, and when everyone eventually found out about his invitation to a special soccer training program, they threw a surprise party. Finding out so unexpectedly was a complete shock. Everyone else was happy for him, but why did you feel so..

Empty?

Yoichi had come by your house in the morning like he always does, knocking on your door, waiting so the two of you could walk to school together. You and him made a habit of doing this, whether it was snowing heavily, or scorching hot, he’d always be outside your door, waiting for you with a smile on his face that said 'I'll always be here for you'.

That was until a paper slipped out of his bag during homeroom.

“Yoichi, you dropped something” You said, as you reached out and grabbed the folded note that had fallen from his bag, attached to a notebook he took out.

“Ah, no don’t touch that!” He immediately spurted. However, it was too late.  

‘Dear Mr Isagi Yoichi,

You have been selected for a special training program held by the Japanese Football Union…’

The letter outlined some details which insinuated a long-term leave without a certain date of return. You looked up at him, sadness glazing your confused gaze. 

“..What’s this?” You asked through choked words. 

Yoichi looked down at his table, unable to muster an answer. He never wanted you to feel betrayed, or that he was hiding something from you. His mind raced with excuses and worries, each attempting to manifest into a good enough response. He’s never been the confrontational type, struggling to bring his own opinion to light even when asked. It’s not like he intended to hide anything from you, he wanted to let you know as soon as he could, but he could never bring himself to soil the contagious laugh and happiness that you emitted.

He didn’t even want to humour the thought of you being alone.

Neither of you had the capacity to do anything of the sort.

“I’m.. Uh..” He muttered, the words barely leaving his mouth. He clenched his fists out of frustration at himself for his utter incompetence as a friend. Unable to meet your gaze, he stared down at the table in front of him. 

His paper was soon slipped back onto his desk followed by rushed footsteps outside the classroom. He looked over to your desk;

Small droplets of tears were visible on the surface of your table.

Ever since the two of you were little, whether you had a bad fall, or dropped your ice-cream on the ground, you had never sobbed or cried audibly. Sometimes, he’d look to you, and see tears suddenly welling up in your eyes, but you never made a sound.

He would wipe your tears with his thumb, and gently hold your hand in his, saying "Please don't cry.. " while tears begin to form in his eyes. Yoichi, being empathetic, would try to make you feel better but eventually, he'd begin crying himself.

You were never being confident enough to make friends on your own, meaning you always had very limited acquaintances, and only one friend, namely Yoichi. 

You avoided him for the rest of the day. You didn’t answer his calls, and left school before he did. Thorns wrapped sharply around your heart, and you remained like this until the day he left. You blamed yourself for the way you allowed this to happen, childishly placing your desires in the spotlight as though he didn't think of you, when you know he did. 

He was always the type of person to blame himself even if he was right. 

He always apologised for hurting you, when in reality you were hurting him.

You were always thinking about yourself when he was thinking about you.

You were wrong, and your arrogance made your only friend that lit up your heart, slip right from in between your fingers.

Sitting up on your bed, you take the photo frame in your hands and stare at yourself within the picture. Your appearance has changed quite a bit since he’d gone.

Your confidence dwindled causing you to stray further away from your classmates, more than you already had when he was still around.

If he were to see you now, he’d probably tell you off for not taking care of yourself properly.

Part 2