#so it's still clown hours for me 🤡🤡🤡

[crystallizsch]

Nagging Jamil attack 💥

HELPE SGKLDSJFLDS IMGDSFHLKSD

STOP LEAVE ME ALONE JAMIL VIPER I'LL SLEEP WHENEVER I WANT 💥💥💥

[taruruchi]

Last post before I sleep bc I was giggling and kicking my feet

Seeing them next to each other is making me go 🥴🥴🥰🥰🥰

[click4rainy]

Wade Wilson Boyfriend HeadCanons

👽:slowly but surely getting back into my writing 💅🏼 (not proof read just super horny like a clown 🤡 HONKAH HONKAH)

SFW ♥️

★ Wade is a silly guy. So silly in fact, he’ll crack jokes or shoot a sarcastic comment your way—mid argument. “How am I supposed to listen when you look this good right now?” Fear not! Because he knows when to shut up. (When you tell him to)

★ Bro defo has a Roblox account. Not elaborating.

★ Despite his chaotic and reckless behavior, Wade is actually super protective and would go to extreme lengths to keep you safe. And then some. “Hey! Back off! Don’t you fuck with her! Unless you wanna fuck with me too. In that case we’ll need a sit down discussion for—“ “WADE!” “Right—sorry.”

★ Expect big, wild romantic gestures. Like standing outside your window while holding up a boom box. (playing ‘what you won’t do for love’ by Bobby Caldwell) or (attempting at) writing your name with fireworks. (There were definitely ‘unexpected’ explosions)

★ “I know it’s only Tuesday, but I totally, legally rented a helicopter so we can pretend we’re in the aveng—no? Okay…plan B then: Breakfast in bed with (penis) questionable pancakes.”

★ Cuddle bug Wade. Are we surprised? This man lives off of physical touch and affection. Wrapping you up in his arms, not letting you go with a shit eating grin. “Nope, you’re not leaving this couch. We’re practicing the ancient art of Wade Wrapping, which requires at least three hours of cuddles, just sayin.”

★ He is nonstop teasing you. It’s a hobby for him, really. (And his love language) Coming up with silly nicknames for you, challenging you to random games or chores, he’s not below making fun of himself to see you smile either.

★ “Oh-ho? You think you can wipe the track with me in Mario kart? That’s cute.” “Honey—you look fine. Approachable even. Unlike me…” (he says while laying limbless on the bed. Literally….)

★ Uses his dark humor to comfort you in times of ‘what the actual fuck?’ Knowing how to turn even the bleakest of moments into something a little lighter. “Hey, I know life might suck granny tits right now…but at least we’re not in a rom-com where one of us has to die or something worse for the other to grow emotionally, right?”

★ Unwaveringly supportive of you in any conflict. He is going to take your side. Every. Single. Time. Backing you up even if he has literally no idea what’s going on or why. “You said Rick was out of line at work today? Well guess who’s getting a strongly worded letter in the form of interpretive dance in the parking lot?” “Is it Ri—“ “it’s Rick.”

★ Wade loves experimenting in the kitchen with you! Attempting to make meals that sometimes end up in hilarious disasters, followed up by a take out order.

★ He breaks this…’fourth wall’ sometimes. Like looking off into the distance and talking to an invisible audience or camera while addressing you. This dead ass bewilders you at times. But mostly you roll your eyes at his antics.

★ “Can you believe this shit?” He’ll ask, turning to an imaginary audience. “I’m over here being the perfect boyfriend—funny, handsome, protective, all that—and you guys still think Peter Parker is the ‘Ideal Boyfriend’ pffft. Get real.” *turns back to you* “anyway, where were we?”

★ This overgrown man child is a PDA enthusiast. Unashamed of hugging, kissing, or trying to dip you during a playful dance in public. He doesn’t care, he’s proud to be with you and wants everyone to know it. “You know what this sidewalk needs? A spontaneous make out session”

★ One hundred percent would insist on wearing matching or theme outfits. Whether it’s full on costumes or something little like matching socks. “Ta-Da! Matching Taco Cat shirts—no, no. Don’t fight it. This is how we show the world we’re a team. Through peak fashion choices.”

★ Loves movie nights. They’re full of commentary, with your boyfriend narrating or making fun of the movie plots. He’d insist on watching rom-coms or action movies for sure.

★ You’ll receive unconventional love letters in the form of doodles, short jokes, or notes saying “I love you more than The Golden Girls. And that’s saying something. ;)”

★ Wade is a pretty chill dude. He’s not overboard with jealousy. But that won’t stop the man from making his classic (not so jokey) jokes when he feels like someone might be getting too close to you. “Oh, flirting? With you? Cute. Should I go over there and casually mention that I’m the love of your life and also really good with sharp objects?”

★ Beneath all the jokes and chaos, he has moments of genuine, heartfelt affection. Whispering his love and gratitude for you at unexpected times. “I know I never take shit for real. But I’m serious about you, about us. You’re my safe space, the one part of my life that makes sense on this stupid chunk of rock floating in space.”

★ Remembers odd little details about you. Showing it with unexpected gifts that align perfectly with your interests. (Even if they’re a bit off beat.) “I saw this super limited edition action figure of (favorite character). I had to get it for you—don’t ask me how, just say thank you and let’s run—“

★ Randomly belting out terrible renditions of love songs at the top of his lungs, just to get a laugh from you.

★ Acts tough for your amusement, like he’ll pretend to be all macho around your friends to make you laugh. “Yeah babe, I’m like, indestructible. Just gotta…” *struggles to open a jar of pickles* “wait—hold on. This jar is definitely cheating…”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

NSFW 🍆💦

★ Wade love love LOVESSS making you watch while playing with your pussy. Using his mouth, fingers and all kinds of cute little toys.

★ Tying your hands together, behind your back and sitting you in front of the mirror with your legs spread wide as he slowly circles your clit with a bullet vibrator, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You see how fucking wet you are for me, baby?” “Look. At. This~” “did I say to look away? Didn’t think so…”

★ He’s into all kinds of crazy shit—high key an exhibitionist.

★ Fucking you in a theatre bathroom, pressing you up against the stall while he covers your mouth, dipping the head of his cock teasingly into your aching cunt.

★ “I don’t give one shit if someone hears us, I need you. Now.” “Shhh baby, gotta stay quiet if you wanna cum.” “Stay still now…”

★ Eating you out in the back of the car, hands kneading your plush thighs while looking up at you with that knowing, shit-eating grin. Not even bothering to wipe you from his chin.

★ Struggling to keep your eyes on the man, a red flush taking over your face as the vibrations of his groans send shocks of pleasure through your entire body.

★ Fingering you under the table/using a remote control vibrator on you when you’re out having dinner. “Yeah that’s it for me and uh, what about you babe?” He asks nonchalantly, as if he weren’t bumping the bullet to its highest intensity or running his fingers over your panty clad pussy. All the tasty stuff. It’s the thrill of almost being caught for him.

★ Baby girl also LOVES when you take control. Straddling him, tying him up to the bed, slapping his face. He’s fucking into it.

★ F-fuckk~ wan—wanna touch you so bad~” he whimpers, hips bucking involuntarily while you ride him, bouncing in his lap with your hands on his shoulders and his cuffed. “Mmff—need to cum…please, please—I’ll do whatever you wa—aaah, fffuck!”

★ Wade loves to buy you new toys/lingerie sets all the time! He’ll come through the door with a bag full of new things to try out or on. “Oh, come on—put the bunny ears on…I’ll let you do that one thing you like.”

★ Costumes, dressing up, role play. Cops and robbers, Professor and student, Master and pet. He loves that shit and has a lot of fun with it.

★ “You have the right to remain silent, on your knees, now.” He’ll smirk, cuffing your hands behind your back, trailing a finger down your cheek before fucking your face. “Cock hungry bitch, aren’t ya? Such a good girl…” he croons, pulling at your leash.

★ “You call that begging, honey? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to be louder than that if you want me to fuck you silly.” He teases, sending a sharp smack to your ass while prodding at your slick pussy with his shaft, making you arch and whine out for him.

★ If you’re into it, he has no issue with knife/gun play. “How does it feel…?” he purrs into your ear, slowly sliding the cold metal up your stomach, circling your belly button before trailing up your chest, then collarbone, pressing the blade/barrel to your throat/temple. “Scary? Hot? Scary-Hot?”

★ Loves making you squirt, finger fucking you into oblivion, thumb pressed against your clit until you can’t take anymore. “Fuck yeah, baby.” He pants, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and cleaning them with a simple ‘pop’.

★ “Mhhh…” Wade hums in delight before shoving the same fingers into your mouth—pushing past your teeth, forcing you to taste yourself with a groan “You’re so yummy, don’t you think?”

★ If you’re being a brat, expect proper punishment. “Oooh, talking back to me, huh?” He’ll ask, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep eye contact. “Watch that damn mouth of yours, pretty bitch. And keep riding me—I didn’t say stop.”

★ He’ll make you grind your hips until you’re sore. It’s so fucking good it hurts. “Awww, my poor baby…look at you crying and riding. You must be exhausted, hmm?” Wade grunts, bouncing you on top his lap as if you were a rag doll. His cock slamming into you, hitting that sweet spot—never missing a beat. “Keep going—be a good girl and keep going…”

★ Once you’re both a spent, panting, boneless mess beside each other, he’ll shower you with praise and pepper your face with kisses, combing your unkempt hair with his fingers as he caresses your arm.

★ Wade would set up a diy spa in the bathroom for you. Complete with cucumber slices, a glass of wine (or whatever you want) and a bath that’s wayyy too bubbly. He’d try and give you a foot massage while joking “Only the royal treatment for my queen. Minus the actual royalty…those guys were more fucked up than half of Alabama…”

👽:I wanna be SAVED Deadpool PLEASEEEE SLUT ME OUTTTT

[allmannerofmalady]

In continuation of my clownery, I started a new DATV playthrough because my beloved Inquisitor looked so jarring I had to remake her and replay like 20 hours of the game. But hey, I made peace with the fact that I am playing DATV to wrap up Inquisition and get an ending scene at this point, I'm not currently foreseeing a second playthrough, so I gotta do it right, y'know?

Spoilers, and me complaining at extreme length, yet again, about my own personal expectations vs reality into the void. Please ignore if DATV negativity is something you prefer to stay away from, protect your peace & what you enjoy.

So I replay HOURS. I'm having fun killing everything as fast as I can - I don't know what it is about playing as a rogue in this game that has tickled my ADHD brain so much, but I'm surprisingly really good at the arrow bonanza and relentless enemy aggro?! This turn based bitch? I digress.

I see my bb Inquisitor Lavellan - she still doesn't look like herself, but I can live with it. She got some ill-advised fillers in Tevinter, she's been through a lot, let her LIVE.

This time around my strategy is pure lore hunting. I'm getting every codex, I'm SQUEEZING this playthrough for whatever lore/easter eggs I can get because idk if I'm going to play again. I got all of Solas' murals early on, got Mythal's essence before Weisshaupt even, I think. BUT WAIT! I have one more treat! The locked room in the Lighthouse! Solas' study! There must be something juicy for all the effort, right? RIGHT? :'D

I know it's been beaten to death, but PERSONALLY, the game still feels incredibly flat to me, jarringly so. If I'm in the Dreadwolf's home, I want to snoop. I want Rook to look through his library, his books, his garbage bin. I even remember the devs saying they wanted being in the Lighthouse to feel an old friends house, or something? I could be wrong, my brain is fried. It's not just a Solas thing - I'm playing this game because I'm desperate for info about the characters I love, but as Rook, we are IN Solas' HQ and I want to rip open the floorboards. I'm trying to RP as much as I can RP in this G.

Anyway, I was so thirsty for something more, something deeper than just these lovely environments I cant do much with, and notes on how Solas hoards raisins - so I collected the wisps and did all the things to unlock the second door in the Lighthouse, forever booboo the fool, thinking I would get some juicy content or something. Trying to stay positive.

No. NO. I got some gear, another empty room Rook has no comments on, and fine, some of Solas' observations on the anchor. It does seem to confirm he kept the Inquisitor’s arm aaaand I love him your honour.

Back to backflipping and shooting arrows in the air, and wanting to grab Emmrich by the beautiful lapels to shake him and ask about the Pentaghast family. Where's my WIFE --

On to the Weisshaupt mission, which was actually ridiculously fun to play - until I was told Weisshaupt is gone haha wow great love that at least the Inquisitor & gang are keeping Southern Thedas safe *subtle foreshadowing* 😃🤞 weeee

I was SO MAD at myself for expecting more like the clown that I am, it was something dumb but just annoyed me all over again and got me all… opinionated 🫠

So, I'm mad again. I cannot begin to articulate my feelings about the incredible amount of storylines and lore we've lost with the decisions made in DATV's writing - they've already been written so eloquently by much greater minds than myself. SO I'm just laughing my way through the pain 🤡

People pleaser that I am, I see other creators I've followed and loved for ages defend the game's choices, tell others they lack media literacy, that your criticisms mean you have rose tinted glasses about the previous games - whatever, your opinion can be valid without tearing others down. So, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for being so hung up on details. But I can't even engage in fan theories anymore because I'm so jaded at this point. When I see new deep dives into lore-based theories on the game, 99% of the time my mind goes "There is no deeper meaning. They just wanted to wrap it up." Why do you think this thing happened? What do you think that thing is hinting? Nothing. And this is coming from someone who played all the games, owns all the novels, art books, World of Thedas I and II, the bloody Inquisitor lamp from the BioWare store LOL, I was primed and ready to engage in these conversations, but I can't. I have nothing to say that won't end in a cynical answer, and maybe that's because I'm also jaded by working in the game-adjacent VFX industry.

The factions are, yet again, fun but shallow, the logic confusing, and lack much of a backstory for Rook (I think Grey Wardens and Mourn Watchers seem to be the best developed from other reviews and playthroughs, I've only played extensively as a Shadow Dragon, to be fair). Why are you a mage in this one faction? Why are you a rogue in another when it doesn't make sense without a story to support it? It's all this beautiful candy floss that melts away the minute I stop and think about it. And then the cynic in me thinks - these are probably vestiges of the live service part of the game that EA was pushing for. I have to slap myself and stop looking for deeper meaning within corporate decisionsssss there is no swimming pool behind that closed door you needed 7 wisps for 😃

I desperately did not want this to be the case. I was hyped. I preordered the game and organized vacation around it, I'm too old and dealing with way too many crappy personal things to just be a hater for the sake of being a hater. Gaming and Dragon Age are my comfort spaces. But for the LIFE of me, I can't imagine playing DATV again once I finish, let alone more times than I can count like the previous games. Or imagine listening to 4 hours of Youtube videos of party banter to analyze, or even imagine how companions would react to certain things because they feel so stiff. Everything is beautiful, but sterile.

I do love Emmrich - I'm enjoying his storyline and romance, it's like the loveliest most whimsical Vincent Price Pixar romance, but still, something is always missing with the characters even as some do grow on me. I can't imagine anything close to just the party banter ALONE between Solas and Iron Bull. Cole. Fenris and Anders. And to be clear - the whole DA was GRITTY and DARK, DAO supremacy - NOT ME. I love all the games but they have always been whimsical and silly, cringey at times, and did not take themselves seriously. I remember doing the quest where Hawke is running around trying to keep Aveline's date with Donnic from going south, cracking up at how ridiculous it was, and just thinking - gods I LOVE this game.

Speaking of romance, while I'm enjoying how sweet the romance with Emmrich is, when I see others complaining about lack of spice... ahem. I still cannot get over the art style when it comes to characters. This is subjective, and a me problem - I still find it jarring. I don't like the proportions, the bloom, how smooth everyone looks. They still mostly look like cartoons to me, with no body hair and the big heads, and I find everyone's hands so distracting because they look like plasticine. I'm ok with no spice between these characters with their current designs lol let me leave it at that. Ok, except for Felassan and Solas, chef's kiss, no notes.

Solas and story elements directly around him still mostly hold the familiar weight, for the most part. I think credit goes to his amazing VA and the strength of what was likely written for his arc from the very start, before the rewrites and dev hell the game went through. I still have opinions, obviously, but even as a ride or die Solavellan I don't like having the Solavellan angle hijack conversations, so I'm not going to go there. If I'm going to criticize stuff I'll do it as a gamer/DA fan first, egg lover and apologist second.

As I reach the end of Act 2, the game continues to makes me feel like I'm stripped of all agency after a lifetime of playing choice-based games. I talk to companions when it allows me to, then they are relegated to set dressing. My conversation choices all feel the same, or don't match what I'm choosing sometimes. The Lighthouse does not feel like the vibrant hub it was sold as. I am on quests I mostly cannot accept or reject. I cannot interact with my surroundings unless it is gameified (light a candle, move a crystal). The companions abilities are all just - platforming? I know I sound hyperbolic, but it's all I can see currently.

I played Persona 5 from end to end, twice. I played FFXVI. I loved both, had no issues with their linear storytelling, and how the game led you to their end points. Those games are not DA, they did not have the expectations you would have from a BioWare title 10 years in the making. You were not lured in by tales of an incredible character creator, teased about what might be coming from previous games, told this was a sequel to an immersive fantasy RPG series in a beloved fantasy world where the defining studio mechanic was CHOICES MATTER, even when they changed a lot of other things from title to title. In P5/FFXVI you were Clive, you were Joker, you were playing out their story. They were not direct sequels to anything. I'm loathe to be seen as a mindless critic who just wants to shit on things, but a part of me does feel emotionally manipulated for $$$. I still resent how much hype was built for the game by maligning the previous ones (we're fixing Inquisition's mistakes!!).

I'm back to my mission of finishing the game I paid for, enjoy what I can, and get my Solavellan ending scene cause I'm down BAD for literally the only ship I have ever shipped🧍🏻‍♀️I appreciate that it was included. But also - wow does it exacerbate what wasn't included for everyone else's choices.

Something I hate is how everyone immediately jumped on the Baldur's Gate 3 comparisons - BG3 was a life changing game for me, but it's not perfect, and the comparisons are not fair. The one thing I will say is that when I first played BG3, despite its issues and the later criticisms of how Larian reacted to pressure from fans, I remember my earliest impression was - it feels good to be respected as a player. I didn't feel the game was talking down to me, and I got SO much for what I paid for (700 hours baybeee). Jaheira and Minsc were included as companions in homage to the previous games. Yes, they did Viconia dirty, nothing is perfect - but for example, Jaheira would tell you about her husband Khalid from the original games, which came out in 1998 and 2000. There was a lot of world building/easter eggs that not everyone was familiar with or even noticed, because not every player played BG1 and 2, or were familiar with DND 5e - but it was included. Drizzt Do’urden was mentioned ffs, they didn’t overthink about who read those books or not. I’m aware of my biases and I may very well be looking through rose tinted glasses, but I did not feel like the information was presented like I was dumb, or "ah they'll never understand this - SCRAP IT". It just feels like it’s there to honour the past and out of love for the world Larian were playing in.

—> edit to say that I do notice and enjoy the codex entries, callbacks to Tevinter Nights, Masked Empire, the older games. I wish that care and detail was woven into the main story and overall end product and not just background fluff. I know others are satisfied with those additions, wish that were me. I saw a tweet saying that every callback to a previous game or storyline actually pissed them off even more lol, I relate.

I don't feel that respect for the player in DATV, I'm sorry. There is love there, but as hard as I try, it feels like it's there despite of the overall design of the game, not part of it. I keep remembering interviews before the game was released and things that were promised, and I don't see it. At all. No more meaningless fetch quests!! Most companion-focused game! The quests are largely boring or formulaic, but addictive and fun because they are so packed with mindless combat that my brain enjoys. Sometimes it feels like filler - we didn't know what to add here, FIGHT! You unlocked a poignantly named gate in the Crossroads? NO STORY MORE FIGHT! And I'm eating it up, let me not be a hypocrite, I have 80 hours in the game. But personally, it feels designed to pad out this beautiful, sometimes fun, but bitterly shallow game. I can't even go into companion specifics because I have nothing to say, no story I want to analyze. Some have grown on me, but there is no bite or nuance to the writing that compels me and I have no urge to know more. In the previous DA games I would take the long route wherever I went just to get more banter from my companions, and I was instantly interested in them, even if I disliked them. I've seen the comments, I tried, I don't think it's because "I haven't spent enough time" with the DATV companions.

The level design of long narrow corridors, which do remind me of DA2 and FFXVI, has become so predictable to me that I almost always know exactly where I'm going to find loot. So it becomes this admittedly satisfying run of grabbing and fighting to the end point, getting the dopamine hits of collecting pointless stuff, but not really taking in the environments and enjoying the adventure. The level design is not immersive. These do not feel like real cities or real people, and that was intentional. It feels like “levels”, not a World. No one reacts to a single thing you do. Even in the ultra minimalist style of Zelda BOTW, townspeople would react to things you did. Sometimes I walk up to yet another obvious fight arena where the enemies are just chilling, waiting for me while standing still - almost like they're on shift at a haunted house LOL. I can imagine the Venatori stubbing out a cigarette, "C'mon guys, she's here, showtime". The funny part is this has all been seen before in older games, and it never bothered me. My own expectations and overhype might be to blame, but it feels like a big step back when so many games are stepping forward. Me = clown

I keep going back to my first reaction when the disappointment hit me. It feels like being given Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors, and told that it's the sequel to the actual RPG. It's fun, it wears the skin of the thing you like that makes you happy, but stops there.

Other things I shake my fist at

Cheap ass The 6th Sense ass Varric death. Yes, yes, Solas villain arc whatever - it was cheap. Way to honour a multi-game beloved character and the player, even if the time had come for him to die in the story.

No, I cannot find a single redeeming reaction from a companion that makes Varric dying make sense in hindsight, except that they are all made of cardboard. I saw comments saying on a second playthrough it's clear Harding is in mourning - sorry, I don't see it.

So. Dorian, the Inquisitor, Charter, Harding, your party, Maevaris, Isabella, list goes on - not a single one of them asks about Varric or mentions his death? Expresses condolences? Nothing? Cheap. Even if Solas was playing with your mind, doesn't it make the overall characters in the game seem even more wooden and unrealistic to the player? It was not the gotcha they seem to think it is.

When the novelty of the cameos and the emotion associated wore off, they were just flat and felt random. Cassandra should have been there, doing Seeker shit (my WIFE). Ok no cameo? Casual dialogue with Emmrich about having a Nevarran in the Inquisition (or as the Divine?!) Lucanis info dumping about Josephine as an Antivan, Zevran as a Crow, nvm, time for a coffee joke. Merrill, eluvian queen, how is she a nonentity? Habibi Fenris should have been in the Shadow Dragons, spitting on the ground after being approached by Solas to join his uprising (lol what uprising amirite). Ok I'm cooking hire me Bioware 🍳 but at least they can remain untainted by the Isabella Treatment (tm)

This leads into the yeeting of the Keep, world states, choices, and hypocrisy around claiming to want to level the playing field for new players. No, all I can see is - it was treated as a buffet that they picked from as it suited. This is the one disappointment I will never let go of. Facsimile's of beloved character cameos were tossed in, you could not really talk to them outside of what limited dialogue you were allowed. Certain world states are now canon apparently - Dorian being recruited in the Inquisition, Morrigan drinking from the Well etc. You want a reboot and you've committed to tossing the choices and burning down Thedas (literally)? Go down with GLORY! Have all the previous main characters/companions alive. Have them all mentioned, even in passing. A portrait on a wall. Say goodbye to them, get your reboot. Honour what you built your business on. But yeah, Emmrich and Harding get to have their picnic in Fereldan fml bye

The argument of: well, the games are old now, it shouldn't matter. Ah - not too old to capitalize on the IP and DA name? Not too old to use some cameos to lure old players? The argument of - it was too many choices to track. Ok cut them down, but don't go scorched earth? 3 choices, mostly irrelevant to those who don't care about Solas (could never be me), and then literally telling you everything else in the South and Weisshaupt is now razed to the ground. But also the illuminati did everything.

FINALLY - the Inquisition should have been in charge of the hunt for Solas, hill I will die on. Fine, have Rook, but Inquisitor should have been the other protagonist. The people... who knew Solas best and betrayed by him... who were in an organization to save the world... Why did we have that cunty dagger stabbed into the map of Tevinter cliffhanger to have the Inquisitor reduced to a pyjama wearing husk BIOWAAAAAAAARE

It's this stuff that builds up, and makes me think - does this game hate its fanbase and source material that much? I very obviously need to go touch some grass 🤠

I keep engaging with Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter - all to my detriment because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not loving it, all over again. I also desperately have a fic in me I would love to write, an ode to the story in my head from years of loving the world of Thedas, a love letter to my Lavellan and others - but idk what to do with the post-DATV world atp. I just want to get through Act 2/3, get my Solavellan smooch, ignore the ~secret Illuminati ending, and be grateful I'm not a Mass Effect fan so I don't have to go through this again 🐣

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

https://www.tumblr.com/hopelesslygaysstuff/732883019101290496/hello-i-was-the-one-sending-the-losing-your

hello, it's me again, how are you? and can i use this 🤡 emoji? since i'm always clowning. (hope no one took this emoji)

and i have another thought,

imagine you came one night without mommy wanda's permission so she decided to punish you by teasing and touching you whenever and wherever she likes (with consent ofc) but stopping when you're on the edge for days.

🤡

Omg haha, ofc you can use that emoji! Nice to meet you 🤡 ◡̈

Ooooh I like this one!

---

Wanda immediately stops whatever she's doing right after you cum, pulling her fingers roughly out of your pussy, even as your walls are convulsing in pleasure.

"Don't complain, sweetheart. You already received enough pleasure."

She gets herself off on your thigh, restraining your hands so you can't touch her as she reaches her peak. She goes to beds satisfied, and you go to bed still reeling from your ruined orgasm, and still very much aroused.

Later, after she's been stroking your thighs for hours while you try and get some school work done, you finally break. You beg her to fuck you, to do something, anything about the dripping mess between your thighs. She just smirks and says,

"No darling, only mommy gets to decide when you receive pleasure. And I don't think you've been punished for long enough." And of course she continues to tease you, occasionally rubbing your aching pussy through your underwear, but pulling away before you could get any real relief from it.

Eventually, you're begging and pleading with her for mercy. You've been on a literally edge for two days at this point, and you'll do anything to be allowed to cum. At the sight of your teary eyes and suppressed moans as you get on your knees to beg her to touch you, Wanda finally takes mercy.

"Oh honey, if you wanted to cum this badly, why didn't you ask sooner? Remember, this is what happens when you cum without mommy's permission like a little brat."

[purplemagics-blog]

ART THE CLOWN FINDS A KID!? LITTLE GIRL/KID READER!!🦝🤡🖤🩶🤍

“The monster gone. He’s on the run, and your daddy’s here.❤️”

Warning: descriptions of g0re, mentions of drugs, abused y/n, forth wall break lmao, cliffhanger (sorry), please tell me if I missed anything.

Backstory of Y/N: She had a happy life before everything went downhill on her 5th birthday when her parents divorce. Y/N’s mom would do dr7gs and abuse and blame Y/N for everything and Y/N only escape was her going to her dad but sooner or later the mom was suing for full custody and that made Y/N sad.

ART THE CLOWN HAS A FUCKING FATHER BONE IN HIS BODY! DO Y’ALL NOT REMEMBER THE LITTLE PALE GIRL!? SHE WAS BASICALLY HIS KID (i think) I LIKE TO THINK HE COULD BE A GIRL DAD!😖

Art the clown was no man of love or a family man. He lived for killing and slaughtering innocent people for the fun of it. He had broken into a house where he saw a woman popping pills and drinking wine while arguing with someone over the phone. He would just usually just kill the woman but then he saw a little girl not older then 5 or a younger looking 6 year old? You. You were sitting in the corner shaking and crying. You had so very obvious had been beaten by the woman and were trying to keep quiet. Well Art had 2 plans: 1.) kill you and your mother, 2.) kill the mom and take the kid in. Well tbh if this was in the actual movie he would kill you and your mom but since you are the main character in a fanfic made by the weird girl you’re going to live lmao (I love breaking the forth wall. Not sorry :3). Art walks up to your mom and grabs her by her hair and pulls her to the floor even ripping some of her hair out. You watch this scene with a scared gasp and hiding your face in your tiny hands. Art digs his tumps into the woman’s eyes as she screams at the top of her lungs. Art was has a wicked smile on his lips and then he rips the skin off the woman’s cheeks as she still is screaming. As you hear this you couldn’t hear this anymore as you pick up your favorite stuff animal a stuffed raccoon your father gave you before your parents separated and you ran to your room. You hid under the covers of your bed. After a couple of hours the screaming stopped and Art slowly walked into your room. You did a terrible job at hiding under the covers but as he pulled the blankets off of you. You looked at him. He was covered head to toe in blood and he did try his best to not scare you but be still somewhat did. He picked you up as you kicked and screamed and he made his way out the house.

“GET OFF!!”

You whine even if it won’t work. He found a car and broke into the back set and buckled you into a buster seat and you continued to kick and scream but Art was just worried about getting you far away from this apartment and life. He got into the front seat and started driving. You sooner or later tired yourself out and fell asleep gluching your stuffed raccoon in your arms. You woke on a floor with a little pale girl looking down at you. You screamed in fear pelting backwards but Art was just sitting in a chair making something until he heard you and then he turned in his set. He tried to comfort you by crouching in front of you trying to calm you down for a moment. After a couple of years of being in the care of Art and the little pale girl you liked it there. The little pale girl was like a sister and Art was like you guy’s dad!

IM SO SORRY IF YOU WANT A PT 2 I WILL MAKE ONE BUT FOR NOW I RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR THIS😖 BYE

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Hey, I'm PISSED AF

Update (1/30): Please do not give any attention to this person. I'm no longer angry about the art theft, I'm just amused/annoyed. But yeah this person thrives on any attention, negative or otherwise. It genuinely bothers them that they can't get "engagement" based on their own skills/merits so they resort to lazy art theft. Their bread and butter is hurtling harassment towards others and creating posts accusing the people they harass of being predators.

So, yeah. Not worth your time or mine.

(Vent Post/Art Theft: I'm hella pissed and I don't give a fuck right now)

@nefarious-616-necromancer Stole and reposted my art and then had the fucking gall to come onto my own post and try to "claim it" as theirs.

Wow, what a way to tell on yourself, too. And they still had the fucking gall to hop onto my own post and try to say my art was theirs asd;lfkja;lgkjag

Like, my guy, the timestamps ALONE make it very obvious who made the original art. AND MY FUCKING SIGNATURE IS STILL IN THERE!!!!!

What does the DDWK stand for @nefarious-616-necromancer? Huh? Wanna share with the class what that could POSSIBLY stand for?????

If you're going to have the balls to not only steal and repost my art, but to try to say my art is also yours, then get F U C K E D.

Update: 🤡 Clown Alert 🤡

I wanna say I'm surprised, but I'm really fucking not. People like this suck ass.

Update II: They fucking blocked me and deleted my original replies on their stolen post XD

Fucking. Wow.

Update III: They changed their bio to say they have "permission" to repost stolen art

I wonder what could have possibly happened in the past hour or so for them to change that all of a sudden 🤔 🤡

Also what a bullshit made up excuse to hide behind lmao

[dmbakura]

Is it okay if I ask some questions about ur durge v? Tehe he is my little scrimblo you have made me adore him.

Does he have a camp bestie? Is there anyone in camp he doesn't get along with?

"Is it OK if I ask questions about V" yes always I am kissing you on the mouth

His camp bestie is probably Karlach but he gets along with the other two girls pretty well too. He and Lae'zel have a mutual respect and Shadowheart and him are 🤝 memory loss. V kind of scares Karlach sometimes with his Antics but she's exceptionally good at bringing out his softer side and their humor is a pretty similar tier. It creates some friction later with the whole yknow Gortash reveal but I think that's juicy

He doesn't really get along with Gale at first and thinks he's an annoying know it all wizard who's doing Way Too Much but he also enjoys trolling him for the same reason (will argue that Sharks Are Smooth for 3 hours, "a fireball summoned from hell and a fireball summoned from the weave are functionally the same thing"). Eventually I guess they do become buds tho there's still a lot of playful animosity

Similarly, he thinks Wyll is an idealistic do gooder who was an idiot for entering a warlock pact because he wanted to be a hero. V just doesnt see the point of that, being a fellow warlock who greatly enjoys his own power for powers sake. However, as V regains more of his memories, he's forced to confront the fact that his own reasons for seeking power were ultimately rooted in a desire to protect, so clown nose honk time for him 🤡 He and Wyll also end up with a sort of mutual respect and understanding

[inourselveswetrust]

The dying in the arms of the ROs had me smiling in a painful way fr...so how would the ROs react if they found MC dead or comatose in their home (MC IN MCS HOME, NOT RANDOMLY IN ROS HOUSE) like they went to visit MC and the front door was open/unlocked and they find MC dead or comatose👀

I'm living for the angst, so add however much you want, honestly. I also guess I'm part of the clown committee tbh 🤡

TW: implied break and enter, assault, murder and death, mentions of vomiting

This one's a bit heavy, please proceed with caution ❤️

They always knew this was a risk, they always worried their biggest fear would become a reality. They knew something wasn’t right, their gut had been telling them for days but they stayed away. Stayed away because that was what was best for you.

Right? 

A bitter laugh almost escapes them as they pump your chest with their hands. 30 compressions, two breaths. 30 compressions, two breaths.

If only they had known staying away would enable this. Deliver the opportunity to hurt you to an enemy on a silver platter – maybe someone you apprehended, maybe a stranger with a thirst for violence. 

Sweat builds on their forehead as the minutes pass, but they repeat for what feels like hours, their fear morphing into anger. Anger because they weren’t here when you needed them. Anger because emergency services are taking too long to respond. Anger because you’re not fucking waking up. 

“Wake up, dammit!” August shouts at your body, their movements now frantic. “Please, wake up!” 

August knows two things are certain – you’re not waking up and they’ll kill whoever did this to you. 

***

Alert and vigilant, Blair enters your home with soundless steps. Their entry and inspection of your home is silent, and the eerie quietness remains as their eyes settle on your crumpled form. Momentarily, shock halts Blair’s movements and thinking, though only for a second. 

Everything in them wants to run to you – to check if you’re okay – but they know that may only expose both of you to further injury. Despite every fibre of their being chanting to rush to you, Blair refrains. Their voice is stern and professional as they dispatch units and an ambulance to your home – your address engrained in their mind because they always worried it would come to this. Then, they stand frozen, listening with keen ears for any disturbances. 

Blair knows they should search your home for the assailant, after all, they may still be here. Their police experience demands they begin looking, but the pressure to do their jobs dulls in comparison to the pressure to help you.

So, they do the very thing their years of training tells them not to, they ignore the danger and, perhaps, run directly toward it. Towards you and their undoing.

***

Wren doesn’t take much seriously, but the newest rumour in the alleys of Runswick left a sour taste in their mouth and a burdensome weight on their chest. Surely no one would be stupid enough to kill the infamous former detective, right? It would be an act of war against the Runswick Police Department. Panic swells in Wren as they approach your home, something feels wrong. 

Their walk turns into a jog, then a run, then a sprint. Their movements cease when their eyes land on you – the tenacious detective they once knew now looks frail. Their breath is stolen from their lungs and their stomach drops to depths never explored - they’re frozen and staring at you, their eyes anxiously watching for any sign you’re alive.

Something breaks in them when your chest fails to rise and you remain unnaturally still. They’re suddenly claustrophobic, the walls of your home close in on them and, just as quickly as they entered your home, they now flee – desperate for space, air, and yearning to wipe the images of your body from their mind.

They don’t want to remember you like that. They need to remember you as the brave, intelligent and unyielding person you were. Not the person who was ambushed and abused. Not the person who succumbed at the hands of another.

***

With hesitant steps and careful movements, Neve opens the door to your home. They wince suddenly, anticipating being struck over the head with a weapon of your choosing, but no impact comes. Nervously, they question your whereabouts - surely, you would have ambushed an intruder, right? 

With their heart in their throat, they call out your name in hopes you’ll respond. They haven’t seen you in a few days, and you haven’t responded to their few messages. They’ve reconsidered visiting you over a million times, likely one hundred times in the past minute, but they have an overwhelming, unexplainable need to know you’re okay. They know they’re overreacting, and they know you can protect yourself, but they can’t sleep with the nagging worry poisoning their mind.

They stumble through your dark home, their hands scouring the walls for a light switch and their fear recedes as their fingers brush one. Light temporarily blinds them, and their previous fear triples as their eyes adjust and are greeted by a horrifying sight – your body splayed across the floor mere feet from them.

A strangled shout escapes them, and they floundered backwards – desperately trying to put space between you – but trip and land hard on the floor. Vomit assaults Neve’s esophagus as they stare at your face at eye level. Your eyes are open, your skin pale. 

With shaking hands, they dial emergency services and sit in their own bile, frozen and staring at you with a terrified expression.

[caralara]

has something happened, Cara? did i miss something? sofia stunt as in sofia the scandinavian girl everybody forgot about? is she back? what has asia to do with that stunt? totally agree that louis' career would only benefit if there were some women in his team but i'm really confused about what exactly you're talking about now. have a lovely weekend!

Hi!

Oh my comment was set off by the AFHF announcement, and the subsequent detective rabbithole everyone went down trying to figure out where it will be this year, and loads of people saying Mexico bc of the cacti in the picture plus that Mexican promoter account tweeting and deleting AFHF recently. I got riled up about how badly they failed last year for AFHF, how we could tell right from when they announced it (quite late) to then being there and seeing how they only sold 2/3 of tickets and not even everyone showed up. They had to cut back massively on staff (one of the reasons why entry was handled so badly and why they didn’t have enough staff to hand out the wristbands), and how they absolutely need to have a (financial) success with this year‘s AFHF in order to not have the whole festival get jeopardised and maybe cancelled. And that led to me talking about the root problem of the team being just men, and then listing examples of their recent fuck ups that very likely wouldn’t have happened that way if they had a woman on their team they‘d listen to once in a while, like for example the Sofia stunt. I guarantee you that no man on that team even thought about the fact that in 2023, with a majorly queer, feminist female fanbase that huge age gap could be problematic for Louis‘ image with his fans, because men in general don’t think about much younger women being with older men as problematic at all. They dropped her like hot iron *after* the backlash from all sides. Then they didn’t handle communication well when they cancelled Asia at all. Like. At all.

For AFHF, I understand that Mexican fans are super passionate but I already gotten many messages by latam fans saying even though living in Mexico City they wouldn’t be able to afford it. I don’t think it’ll be in Mexico, they really need to be in the black numbers for this year‘s AFHF, so they need it to be accessible to fans with strong financial powers. Europe has the majority of louis‘ fandom with strong financial power, and logistically it would be crazy to fly back and forth about 16-18 hours between European festivals for AFHF, if he could do it in Europe again.

If he keeps it in a similar time frame (august) as the past (although he’s already had the first announcement two months earlier than usually), there’s only the last July or last August weekend (going into September) available.

A friend actually sent me the Ponte de Segura bridge that looks a lot like the viaduct used in the picture, and it’s right at the border of Portugal to Spain. End of July he’s got two festivals in Portugal and Spain, and he could easily oversee the set up during the week between those two.

There’s also huge festival grounds 20 minutes from that bridge, that usually hosts the BOOM festival, but only every other year - meaning that July weekend is free for 2024 and the infrastructure for the festival has been well established (since 1997) with shuttles, vendors, camp sites, stage infrastructures… it looks really great.

The thing that still got me entertaining Mexico as a possibility is the cacti that have been edited in, that mostly only grow in South America, and the Mexican promoter.

Anyways, tell me louis wouldn’t go for this?? The shore, the lake, the rocks, the surroundings, the heat??

Anyways the real clowning begins if you imagine louis launches AFHF to be TWO days by having Niall headline the first day… that would certainly draw the necessary crowds and they’re already doing a bit of the festival run together this summer 🤡🤪

[ask-hannah-blog]

Oh my gawd Hannah!!! You shouldn't have sweetheart that was so sweet of you! 🥨🤡🌭

I literally squealed when I saw your post it made me so giddy I had to fuck one of my plushies right then and there! Little guy is so lucky I'm there to take of him... I'm like their mama guhhuyhhyyhyuck....

Anyhoo, you silly poo! Life has been swell for me, my favorite weiner mayo addicted salon has been thriving and I certainly feel like royalty myself whenever I come in! With some coercing from the girls there we decided it'd be nice to extend my services to the other regulars so they've been getting nice and fat from my creamy dog! Speaking of dogs, sometimes I finish on their feet and while they don't turn white or anything, I swear they're growing a bit! And they certainly smell and taste more like my tootsies... I've checked, guhuuhhyuck! I guess I kinda work there now! I accept all types of payment!

As for my other business, the people who buy my yummy mayo are like super addicted to it now, so I've been hard at work cumming lots and lots to keep up with the demand! Being a food clown is hard work but I'm a hard worker luckily! Still though, I can't help but want to save some of my treats for you and your clown family! When you finally bring me home to your dream circus, I'll be able to really help all those poor, hungry, and thirsty clowns! And then when I pick up my toy from your work, well...

Naturally you can suck my toes and my weiner all day long, Daisy can enjoy my smelly cheeto farts, and your baby sissy will get nice and full from my fizzy titty cola! 😋 😋 😋 yum yum yum!

How is everyone, anyhoo? You know I just can't wait to meet them! Until then though, you have the most bestest and greatest of days, my queen! I love looove ya 💓❤️💕💗💋💋💋💋

-Your Girl! 🥨🥨🥨

Woooooooooooow!

You’re Pretzel! I totally remember talking with you that one time. Hehehe although I thought you were weird and gross then. I dunno why though! Hehe you sound like just my time.

I mean I know this might sound weird but my therapist says I have a fetish/obsession with girls who have big fat hotdog smelling weiners! But it’s soooooooooooo hard to find someone who matches that description! I mean my therapist will put mustard, ketchup relish and of course mayo on her strapon when she fucks my face but it’s just not the same.

Hehehehe Sorry if I’m over sharing I just reeeeeeally like hot dogs. They’re just so pretty and interesting. My therapist put a hot dog rotisserie in my cage and I just watch the weiners spin for hours while I masturbate.

Didn’t you recommend my therapist to me? I can’t even remember what I came to her for…

OH YEAH!

Being a total horny clown nutcase hehehehehe!

Well she’s not very good because I think I’m worse than ever. Right now I’m stuff soft pretzels up my butt because it feels nice! Hehehe what kind of girl does that?

Anywho enough about me…

You sound sooooooooo interesting.

I bet your stuffed animals are super well behaved because you’re a really attentive mama. It’s funny Honker says I’m a toy who needs someone to take care if her, and it’s like soooooooo true. Since I started seeing her I lost my job and apartment, I like can’t do anything right. If she didn’t let me sleep in her palace is so be a hobo clown right now.

But not you! You like run your own business! I think it’s so great what you’re doing for those humies. Sexy too! I wonder what percentage of their brains is your mayo at this point! Honk honk! Soooo cool that you have your own audience. And hot too! No joke I came sooooo hard reading about how fat and dreamy they’ve all gotten. You must be a really powerful clown if their feet are changing for you! Gooooosh I wish I could smellllll them!

Hehe I don’t know why honkers had me write all of this! It’s just making me horny and hungry. Hehe I don’t know I need someone to control me, or I’m just a dumb little clown!

Tehee!

Ummm *Sucks on finger*

I dunno, I’d there something I should be doing Pretzel?

Oh yeah! My name’s Toe Cleavage! Hehe! My mama named me after the two most beautiful things she could think of’

[thelonesomediaries]

Some of the new gang has started rolling in. Still expecting 5 dolls. Good old USPS sent the package 37 miles in the wrong direction and although tracking STILL says it’s being delivered today, I know the clowns who fumbled it are NOT going to make it right by actually delivering it today. 🤡

The Sam is a white body, and the two #8’s look so different and it took me a good hour to notice why: the eyelashes of one of them were trimmed. That is goblin tier behavior lol who trims eyelashes?! A bunch of historical clothing arrived with them as well. The Kirsten has pretty rough hair and the beginnings of Silver Eye so she may become a parts donor for older dolls. Tags called dibs on the wig if I go that direction but won’t listen when I explain that the wig may not fit her well. (Edited to add that the Kirsten is in fact a tinsel Kirsten so I won’t be removing the wig. Instead, I will fix her up the best I can and simply be lucky enough to have such a pretty doll even if her hair short/thin)

Speaking of Tags, she’s sitting around looking incredulously at the whole situation. She wonders how theres money to always acquire more dolls but not any to pamper her specifically? She’s got a point.

What she doesn’t realize is that I’m going to dismantle her again and do a more thorough deep clean and proper restringing since the kits I have are terrible.

[unusual-raccoon]

Here's a modern!JaceLuke idea i had while waiting for sleeping pills to take effect(it has been like two hours and nothing is happening so who knows).

So Jace and Baela are best friends and step siblings/cousins(since this is modern times Rhaenyra and Laenor did artificial insemination so trueborn Velaryon boys, yay🤗) who everyone thinks are dating. When in fact both are very much in love with their younger siblings, Luke and Rhaena. Both Jace and Baela are very pretty, very popular, and very scary(i headcanon that Jace and Baela are Daemon's favorite kids whom he knows can take care of themselves and don't need him to fight their battles, meanwhile he believes Luke and Rhaena need protection 24/7 even those are more likely to commit and get away with murder) so people are wary of asking the younger Targaryen/Velaryon sibling duo out on dates.

I would add more but i ran out of mental energy so this is as much as i can come up with at the moment.

Putting my clown 🤡 wig on because I genuinely thought I replied to this??? Sorry for the delay.

This isn’t a criticism, but I imagine Jace, Luke, Baela and Rhaena would still be related and likely just as close even if Harwin was their bio dad, Rhaenyra and Laena are still cousins! Sorry, I just love Rhaenyra’s boys to have all their dads, modern!AUs are the perfect “everyone lives” opportunity in my opinion.

Anywho, I am absolutely in love with the idea of Jace and Baela lowkey being each other’s beard???

Everyone thinks they’re dating meanwhile they’re messing around with their siblings? Brilliant.

Modern!AUs are so deeply attached to High School!AUs for me, particularly because the characters are of age. Captain of the football team and head cheerleader Jacela being the IT couple, with their shy, artsy younger siblings who follow them around like stray dogs.

My brain is going in a thousand different directions with this ask, mostly with Luke and Rhaena getting slutted out by their older siblings?? (I can’t help it, sorry).

Bonus points if Jacela knows what the other is up to, but Luke and Rhaena have no clue? Like they’re in the exact situation as their best friend, quietly pining after a hot older sibling.

[taegimood]

(edit: pls send me requests omg give me something legit to write about 💀🙏🏼 help)

ok literally no one asked for this but i’ve been asking my moots these questions, so i figured i might as well answer them myself too lol

which member's type do you think you'd be?

which member is closest to your type (bias or not)?

which member do you think you'd be closest with platonically?

which member do you think you'd be the least close with?

1: i think i’d be closest to yeonjun’s type, at least visually.. my primary fashion is grungy street style so i think we have a lot in common style-wise and would vibe hard tbh :3 (but personality-wise..? idk i haven’t thought that far ahead lmao what do you guys think?? would any of them like me o_o)

2: oh man.. this is hard cuz visually i don’t really have one set type, i’m attracted to several different vibes.. but yeonjun cuz of the fashion and fox features, and soobin because ??? look at him ?? kdrama first love coded, periodt. (but they’re all so stunning that if i saw any of them on the street without knowing who they were i’d definitely want their numbers and also their [redacted])

personality-wise… RAHHHH why are these questions so hard i literally suck at making decisions- i’m the one that made these questions too ffs- ok sometimes yeonjun makes me want to shove my hand into his face and PUSH (lovingly. respectfully.) because he’s so Frat Bro Coded sometimes LMAOO 😭 so i think soobin or beomgyu. gyu is INSANE but i think we’d have so much fun together and he can be soft and serious when the time calls for it. i rlly want someone i can be goofy as hell with and gyu def fits the bill. and soobin……. oh, my sweet soobin……. dream man…. he’s so 💖💕💝💘💗 ……. (not me clowning matcha for being biased for gyu in her response while soobin is living rent free in every single one of my answers 🤡) soobin is the Actual Love Of My Life™ and i think we could fit well together in so many ways but 3 things that DEPRESSINGLY make me wonder if we’d work:

i’m also an introvert so i need someone more extroverted than i am to get me out of my shell 😖 biggest one is he said he doesn’t lead in the relationship and lets the girl make all the decisions (i prefer a guy who leads and wants to make decisions together) and he loves physical touch but only when he’s the one giving it 🤨 IM SUCH A TOUCHY CLINGY BITCH SOOBIN PLS LET ME HOLD YOU-

3: this post is so fckn long for no reason why am i such a verbal processor this one is ALSO hard cuz not to sound like a pick-me but i feel like i could be pretty good friends w any of them?? 😭 maybe gyu ??? i’m an introvert so he definitely might get too overwhelming for me at times but i also become a crackhead when i’m with friends i can be myself with who share my humor, so i think when i’m in the right headspace gyu and i could just go crazy together and be goofy asf lol. we could also game together and i could run him into the ground in victory 🫶🏼

but ok yeonjun and i would be such bros together plus he knows what it’s like to live in america so there’s that and fashion to bond over… i could be total gym buddies with taehyun and we’d bounce that dry humor off of each other… just like soobin and kai, i’m a huge anime and video game nerd (could do show and tell w kai and all our plushies too 🫶🏼) so i could game and binge anime for hours and be totally content especially if i’m bonding over it w someone else o_o SOOOOO i feel like i could be friends with all of them but as for besties? not me wanting to pick soobin again i don’t know 😀

minji do you literally know anything

4: honestly i think taehyun :((( i just think i have the least amount of things in common with him, that’s all !!! no other reason i still love him sm although i’m also a singer actually (fun fact) so i think we could do such pretty covers together 🥺

anyway this is LONG AS ALL HELL for literally no reason other than the fact that i talk too much lmao so here are the answers that no one asked for 😍

[tarnussy]

Bit of a DIY year in review from your resident Stormveil dweller here. Soon-to-be Elden Lord for the first time.

No Steam review from me with that questionable toxic relationship line everyone is getting, but here is my year in review regardless. I am only posting this for myself mainly.

I have also shown these at some point this year (with less hours), so no changes in characters, just my self-insert Tarnished and Godrick. I nearly opened this game every day with a few exceptions since I first played it in February (honorable mention to being utterly smitten with it since release, even though I couldn't play it at the time for a whole year).

My main and first gameplay is the one with over 500 hours, and yes, I still have not finished my first playthrough. I am on Elden Beast though, and I know I want to gif parts of it because I'm doing a DIY Age of Grafting with everyone essentially being dead except Godrick (plus Rannald sitting underground forever, good for her).

I also don't know what outfit to wear for the final cutscene that would make sense for the ending I'm doing, I have a lot of contenders. Plus I am in no rush, I play this game to be immersed in it, to collect my little plants and to loot the same areas over and over while taking my little grafted silly guy with me - and Godrick's summon made this game 500x better, even though it was already my favourite before that.

I have multiple playthroughs because I like to be able to access every single area and boss in case I decide to make a gifset or post, without having to spend hours to fight my way across the map to a boss I wanna gif but already fought. Therefore, Rivers of Blood my beloved, it is a gifmaker's / virtual photographer's best friend if you want to clear out an area fast for footage. Makes me sad how I feel anxious even to include it in posts bc I know how hard people tend to go off on players who use it, even if you play offline.

Other favourites are: Meteoric Ore blade, Crystal sword, Lordsworn Straight sword, St. Trina's sword, Eleonora's poleblade. None of these were tainted by gamerbros (unlike RoB and Moonveil), I went in absolutely blind when it came to weapons and I used what I genuinely liked and like to this day. My fav kind of magic is gravity magic.

One thing I am sad about is the gameplay timer, and the fact that it stops at 999 hours played. That will probably be the only thing that will stop me from continuing my very first playthrough on my main character. I must track the playtime at all times. We'll see.

Oh I guess it won't hurt if I mention that ER is my first Souls game, and it was nowhere near as hard and scary as people tend to tell that to new players. It was fine, save for late game areas. But I guess it also helped that I came to open world fantasy games from survival horror games, so getting my ass kicked was just normal. Now of course I'm so used to the keyboard settings on this game that I can't even go back to other games like TW3 at the moment because my brain just can't comprehend it. I constantly want to double jump with the horse in other games.

Yeah I could go on for hours just talking about what comes to mind, but that is enough I believe. Favourite game. Thank you Godrick for terrorizing my Souls-virgin ass with your cutscene when I had no context or idea about anything at all. Seeing your cutscene and fight made me say it out loud that I'll never play this game and that I didn't see the appeal. Biggest clown shit I've ever said in my life, look at me now 🤡 I'm running out of face paint.

[sungbeam]

EEEEEK ME TOO 🤭🤭 confession time pt. 2, I might have a platonic crush on you 😔💔 like I wanna be homies but at the same time I can’t have ppl knowing I read fanfics (irls or moots) cause I KNOW I’d get clowned on buT THEY JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND 🤧🤧 so, alas, WE are the true Romeo and Juliet 😔🙏

Like after I send an ask I do check in like every hour just to see if you responded yet DJGNIFN what can I say 🙄☝️

BUT AS LONG AS I CAN BE YOUR ANONYMOUS BESTIE THEN WE’RE SET 4 LIFE 😼🤞

(^ Why did I use so many emojis-)

And you’re right, Floor will be someone’s paralysis demon… MINE 💀

AND EEEEEK DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME ABT THE PROVERBIAL CAMERA CAUSE I CAN AND WILL NOT STOP TALKING ABT IT

ALSO YEAH IT WAS JUST A PIC NOT A VIDEO OF THE SCENE BECAUSE THAT SHOW IS SO WILD IF I WERE TO SHOW YOU A CLIP I THINK YOU’D START CRYING (Plot synopsis: boy tastes a girl in his class’ spit and then gets addicted to it cause she has like… addictive spit… essentially if he withdrawls from her spit then he could die 💀)

I WATCHED IT A LONGGGGGGGG TIME AGO SO I CAN’T REMEMBER EVERYTHING TOO WELL BUT THAT WAS PRETTY MUCH MOST OF IT LMAO IT WAS ENTERTAINING THO IF YOU WANNA TAKE A SHOT AT WATCHING IT 😭

NOT US ALSO HAVING THE SAME TYPE OF MENNNNNNNN (at least in txt) 🤪🤪🤪

And now hold awn world stop-

What did I just see with my two lil ol eyes

A SHIRTLESS,

TEASING,

HYUNJAE DRABBLE/FIC?????

Uh uh, uh uh, THAT WAS SO RUDE OF YOU LIKE WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME IMAGINE THINGS LIKE THIS WITH A MAN I KNIW I CAN NEVER OBTAIN LIKE-

HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL LIKE I WAS GENUINELY LIKE GIGGLING WHEN HE WENT IN FOR THE STRADDLE LIKE THIS I SICK GET YOUR C-CUP TIDDIES AWAY FRIM MY BOOK IM TRYING TO READ, LIKE???

Phew, everything abt Hyunjae makes my heart do somersaults istg-

But even if their storyline was there for plot convenience, I hope to see Quinn and Wren in the future!!! 😤😤

AND EEEEK LITTLE EPISODE ONE SHOT FOLLOW UPS WOULD BE SOOOO CUTE FOR CHANHEE’S LIKE I DEF SEE THE VISION AND I CAN’T WAITTTT

And the quote came from Rosemonde Gerard! “Aujourd’hui plus qu’hier et bien moins que demain,” from her poem “The Eternal Song”! It’s super sweet and it was addressed to her husband so I def recommend reading it! Man I love poetry unironically 🥹 I really hope I can find love as,,, lovely(😭) as that one day 🤧

- Love you forever + 1 day, 🌷 anon

PLS PLATONIC CRUSH FRFR ME TO ???? and it's okay bestie, none of the irls know i write or read fanfic cuz they really DON'T understand 😭 like i love my irls but they just don't TT anyways, it's totally okay that ur on anon, we can still be homies this way 😎 literally had one of my underclassmen in hs clown me for using blr instead of ao3, like IM SORRY THAT AO3 ISN'T EXACTLY INTUITIVE AND IM SLOW W TECH????? SHEESH— LMAO

omg i was just TALKING ABT SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMONS 🤩🤩🤩 one james ji chxngmxn !!! anyways—💀

.....uhm addictive spit.... okay 😃 not the greatest visual but ykw u like what u like ig 😭

THE PROVERBIAL CAMERA IS EVERYWHERE IM TELLING U I HAVE INTERNALIZED THE OBJECTIFICATION OF MY FEMALENESS SO MUCH THAT I IMAGINE WHAT PEOPLE SEE WHEN THEY SEE ME LIKE IM OBSERVING MYSELF AND IT TRANSLATES INTO MY FICS 🤡🤡🤡 like it says x reader, but really, she's just a puppet playing a role 😩🤘🏻

PLS. u have know idea how much EMOTIONAL DAMAGE HYUNJAE AND KEVIN HAVE BEEN DOING TO MY SANITY LATELY like wbk i have no dignity left, but my sanity is dropping into the negatives, the bar is in hell, and i am limboing under it 🤣🤣 i once read this thing abt the guy straddling the girl and i was like,,,, uhm,, hyunjae,,, haha,, get over here 😁

I HAVE ONE EPISODE OF THE CHANHEE THING READY BUT IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT ELSE I SHOULD DO LMFAOOO cuz the whole idea was literally just an excuse to write that oneshot 🤡💀 anyways, i'll prob think of something, i have all summer—

omg pls i too love poetry unironically like,, one day i will meet someone who makes me write lovey dovey poetry abt warm sunlight and quiet kitchens in the middle of nowhere and not the sad espresso depresso shit i write rn 💀🤣

BUT ANYWAYS !! may ur day be as beautiful as u r !! love u 🌷 mwah 😚