#so it's really good even if you just wanna do personal stuff in small quantities
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majimasleftasscheek · 8 months ago
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hi i got my ramen shop standee and the arcade machine keychain a while ago and they are AMAZING quality, they arrived just in time for a convention i cosplaued majima at and it was such a fun little addition to my bag. if you don't mind me asking what manufacturer do you use for all your stuff :0? they're super high quality compared to some manufacturers I've seen people recommend
I use vograce! it's not everyone's fav choice from what I gather from various other creators but my personal experiences so far (and I've ordered so much crap lol) is very good. they're a lil pricier than others too but I go to them cuz their products are good, they have a decent moq, and their customer service is very helpful/responsive
if you're interested in acrylic stuff, I would rec them. they have a ton of other products too that I haven't necessarily tried yet but they also offer sample services (sometimes free, sometimes a fee depending on what it is) so that's super helpful. and if you ask em, they'll provide proofs of items before they make em so you can check the art or whatnot (very helpful to make sure they don't make something backwards lol esp if there's text involved)
rn I'm having them test some buttons and I'll be going to them for my booby mousepads too cuz me and a friend collab'd to make some and they turned out very good
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calebwittebane · 5 months ago
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gaia update!
her next appointment is later today, still monitoring the new tumor before we decide on the next step... sure hope this time chemo ends up being enough, i really dont want her to have to go thru yet another surgery. its a risk every time for an older cat like her. plus its in a difficult spot this time, close to ligaments and stuff. also, and i know its a strange thing to say, in this case her loving me so much actually constitutes something a problem... she fully wakes up the second she hears my voice or smells my presence, when it wouldve been better for her to sleep off the nausea and grogginess for a little longer 😭 but at the same time i dont wanna wait longer to pick her up because i know she'd be very very upset to wake up while i wasn't there. babyyyy
right now shes feeling and looking okay though. she got some anti-inflammatory shots on monday to help with her teefies, cuz her gums had been hurting (probably its cuz her immune system aint doing so hot rn), and it really helped. she ate a LOT yesterday and seemed really content about it. full tummy gaia :) the problem with her and her teeth is that it's kind of a recurring issue, once again probably stemming from her immune system getting kinda overwhelmed, and it makes it hard for her to eat her kibble (even if the bikkies are small, and soaking them isn't an option because she will NOT touch soggy bikkies even if she's very hungry). while id love to just switch her to wet food full time, that makes her poops very soft (very bad news for her and her funny furry pantaloons) and i... dont have the budget for it... i wouldnt give her and amity anything with a vague ingredients list and without stellar reviews, and high quality wet food in the "full meals every day" quantity is just not something i can afford. so she gets a nice spoonful of her favorite wet food (or canned tuna! she loooooves tuna) after taking her meds and thats it. i love that since its a reward for swallowing her pills, and amity gets the wet food too, amity always stands close and bonks gaia beforehand, like she's encouraging her and saying good luck... amity has been very nice to gaia in general lately. i mean she's still a bit of a nuisance to her, just because their personalities clash a little, but shes been trying hard to be very gentle. i loooooove amity's new habit of kissing gaia's paws. it's so sweet and adorable... thats right amity, your big sister is very fancy and chic, with dainty pawsies that need to be kissed!
she's also been very playful, which is good. she's got energy! and a new favorite toy, once again its part of a larger toy amity customized for herself (ripped parts off of) and it's this soft fuzzy orb thing. she's also been a little whiny, but i'm pretty sure that's just her complaining about the heat, it's not uncommon for her in summertime. she feels better when the fan is pointing at her. oh and she hates the lawnmowers outside... i dont wake up from the noises i wake up from her yelling at the noises ajdhfbxkdj. shes so annoyed.
wish it were easier to get a pet groomer appointment in this doggone town. a lion cut would definitely help her cope with the temperatures. plus knowing how funny she looks when her fur is wet id love to see her BALD she would look soooo funny. all the places with good reviews are always fully booked though it seems. swear to god this is all such a scam, Back In My Day if your cat was in surgery you could ask the vet to go ahead and give them a lion cut while they were still under anesthesia lmao. my own clippers just don't work with her fur either, it's too fine and soft. the cons of being a fluffy cloud... a toasted meringue angel... a lovely tiramisu girl... a silly baby s'more... a caramel frappucino princess...
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seancamerons · 1 year ago
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I am having such a hard time in my personal life lately, and there's alot of uncertainty, fear, anger, and just generally not good. I have been feeling overwhelmed lately, lots of stuff on my plate and more crap got added and dumped on, and now it's just overflowing and that is putting it mildly. There is still good things going on, but it's overshadowed by these other events and elements, making things difficult and hard to deal with with everything overwhelming and confusing and hard to leaf through like a big salad with too many different veggies, croutons, too much of an element or uneven quantities of things on it too much dressing, the ratio is off or something. In short, it's a disappointing salad, basically.
A storm has been brewing for some time, between 20, 10, or 15 years there has been. Sometimes it's fine, managed, not dangerous, or calm and then it storms and it rains and pours. Other times it's a constant arc era of it, random, frequent screaming, or and nothing makes edgeway no rational talk or sincire or effort of apology with backhabded or snide remarks and only escalating and making it hard to rationalize or even more ideally work it out. If you wanna come back to it later after ironing things out or cooling off you get cut off and it's silent treatment. Egg shells, silence, even some fatigue from all the adrenaline of the anger and decades or days, weeks or resentment. Rinse and repeat.
or worst case, its nucleqr troubles, like tropical tornado storm deafcon 5 crisis mode. Last time it was
So then comes the fears, uncertainty, everything is up in the air. I'm sitting here, bitting my lip and my tongue from spewing hateful shit, potentially pointed bitter confessions, incencritty saying something wrong or maybe worse things you can't take back or even come back from. And it isn't just you it's then too simultaneously.
Is that how you really feel or felt?
Has this happened to you growing up?
Fine until they're not. The last time this happened, I lost my shit and my mind. I was so not good, but before this weekend it was manageable because confrontations and such were backburner, and no conversations.
Perhaps cheerful past few interactions olive branch in the form of a surprise bottle of wine once in awhile but this month frequent. Decent humanesque conversations of light topics and safe and being decidedly scripted or bordering on carefully selecting every word like when you are ordering from McDonald's and don't want to mess up or fumble your words to tip them off all is not well. Such as maybe being drunk and running into someone and you don't want the other to know you aren't in the best state to talk and all. It's like random spurts like a pop quiz. It isn't truly genuine talk nothing is honest about it. Usually, it's pretty short like small talk, you're not that important or significant or wrong even in your own experiences or whatever.
They are the dominant in the conversation and you listen and can only say few things. Thinly veiled is some niceties or relatable or even predictability and this is where it snaps like a rubber band and it ends. It's so fleeting. It isn't worthwhile and you go where you go and whatever and leave the place. From experience it goes one of two ways, the true calm b3tore the fireworks or the storm el niño and you are fubar. Then comes all the shitstorm stuff I touched on before.
Well this is where current events fall into place and I do not want to get that deep into that or delve that personally publicly but only trusted mutuals I'd speak more about that to and with than someone stranger. 😔
This is what happens when you are not taking care of yourself or have accepted so much things that led to these consequences for better for worse. Some people have grief that manifests differently sadness anger or even violently or a combination. not even that isn't a pass or an excuse for being so bad off, it destroys so much in the person's life for starters and your own and no one or
What if they are family? Immediate?
I'm hurt and resentful, I don't feel community of that end of the family as this is a black sheep or at least in stereotype that could be an understatement or determine or pigeonhole. I don't know or can't speak on for sure what or now they're feeling about me because of the eggshells on the floor at every path and at every turn in almost every situation. No honesty, and it's cold. You see them through images and video impersonal informal and most importantly at and from a distance all the while missing out on precious time with loved ones or missing milestones because of the storm. Rain outs, delays, cancelations or radio silence. Nobody communicates property nothing changes. Finally, bitterness builds walls and barriers and screaming eveloped in silence ence speaks volumes. I care. They might care too buy fears keep them faraway. I think about when I see a birthday without a invite, instead, snubbed and pictures with family and none if us are there or invited, crpssed out cast out. It is particularly the storms fault, not mother nature or a curse or a conspiracy. It was deliberate. I don’t have a lighthouse or a beacon
I guarantee the storm though chaotic is only human and has feelibgs.
Could be possible they feel pain and some guilt and big time regrets. It is uncomfortable. The kicker will be eventually when they are gone. The once close, the once cordial, the once happy memories will be slowly gone too, and the decressendo to emptiness and the regrets pile up like my plate that is overfill to the brim and the past will be a distant memory, tragic and more people will dip out and they will probably be alone and leave the planet too one day and like Jay Gatsby nobody will care no one will attend the service for them or in their honor but out of an obligation and
I had been consistently failed by this person. It is embarrassing. I'm trying to take care of myself in the meantime. My peace has been disturbed, and I'm temporarily derailed, and it has been about 8 or 9 years since the last time I experienced this level of incertianty and fear and constantly living in survival mode. Counterproductive as unresolved tension reaches a boiling point with everything else is boiling on backburners and staining and tainting the good. The now strained straw suddenly breaks the camels back and makes it unbearable and remarkably awful and bleak. It took 3 days to knock it all down and take the bunch of baby and large steps back totally a preventable situation no matter what and certain. It sucks. It isnt half of it, but this is about a smidgen. This is personal, but it's all I'm willing to share in this grim glimpse tonight.
It is so rough. I don't even know how to put it all together or fix a thing. Is it even something I'm able to revise or repair? I don't know if I have tools and can I make a difference or a bad difference? Unfortunately some how a moot point but a fifty fifty crapshoot a fork in the road, and I haven't the slightest idea what to do now. I want to change things and wish I could. I can't fill the glass. I do not have to fill or whatever because I can't, in the sahara or something, so now I'm keeping it to myself, and the water no matter how selfish it sounds. I can't burn myself again or burn me to keep them or the storm itself cushy and bite my tongue till it bleeds or worstcase, it all becomes all consuming and kills me or it's all irreversible. I wouldn't be able to handle this kind of thing years ago but it's been the same for years. It's a cancer on famkly and friends near and far a death sentence. The optimistic part of me has slivers and speckled hopes but o don't know if I'm overreacting but I feel like deeply for once I'm not.
I desperately need a miracle or a magic genie for a wishfor good things to happen no more destruction. We were almost done rebuilding from the last wave the last 10 or so years or even longer who knows? I don’t like it. I dont want a part of and that keeps me up at night.
For the record, September sucks. Just wake me in November. The storm is human and negatively impacting my life. I don't know what to do.
I'm always last to know things in every aspect with few exceptions I wasn't equipped for a explosion or spontaneous derailment of everything qnd all the destruction in the wake the next morning or the day after or after effects. The hangover I guess.
Just get help. I can't help you. I need to be selfish and focus on me for the first time. You disserviced me so now I don't know how to remedy or find a solution or save myself from torment. I can’t even with this any longer. You aren't sorry. You just don't understand or are just as lost as I am. I live in constant dread though put on a happy face. It's getting hard to play pretend. I'm not ready for any aspect of this. I'm omg angry and hurt unbelievably and rightfully. It's valid. I don't know if I can bounce back at all. I want my romantic relationship to work because last time the stars lined up this way I lost them too because I lost myself and my mind and took time to rebuild and after neglect myself and things I'm so much more aware and wide awake to the bullshit. I used to feel stupid and now my eyes are open to the bad part. It is ALOT.
I hope I'm gonna be okay. I hope. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck. It really sucks, fucking sucks. I don't know how to like previous mentioned use careful words or struggle to compose virtually anything. That is it.
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brxkxnhxxrtsclxb · 10 months ago
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if i’m honest… i doubt mattel will bring ever after high back as long as they have disney… but with the post above my money is on: they’re trying to see how people will react to an EAH revival / comeback
let’s not forget they said this on a tuesday, august 28, 2018 at 9:19 AM (yes so specific lmaoo) on twitter:
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“these fairytales are closing the book for now, but you never know when it will open again”
it’s possible we’re here now. this as in 2024 is when they’ll open again. of course, it’s just a theory and we can’t 100% say for sure
now i have a wild theory that probably makes zero sense but i guess can be possible. disney and mattel are back together. it’s no secret disney is struggling, dare i say TANKING. we also know disney is very possessive about fairytales and if their stuff is failing, and they’re now in a partnership with mattel once again, i wouldn’t be surprised if they both somehow came to an agreement to work on ever after high together. again, i know, it’s a wild theory and probably unlikely, but they’re fairytales and disney has a weird thing about fairytales being “their thing” (despite them being in the public domain for centuries ._.) and EAH already has an established fan base. it’s small, but there’s something there. there’s an audience
disney obviously made descendants as a way to compete with mattel and ever after high. shit, ever after high is what got the disney license revoked from mattel in the first place. why would mattel want to risk getting on disney’s bad side again after getting back on their good graces?? why even go there when they’re making disney princess dolls again if their own princess line is what got them smoke from disney in the first place ?? mattel is a business first, so they’re gonna want all the money they can get. disney is a good way to do so. they’re the biggest entertainment company in the world
and it’s not like disney and mattel haven’t collaborated before. i’m not just speaking from the perspective of the licenses. they made the nightmare before christmas skullectors. without a disney x mattel collab, this wouldn’t have been possible. clearly there’s a good partnership between them. i personally don’t see mattel wanting to bring back EAH, especially not when disney is at their lowest. not unless disney for whatever reason decided to join in on the EAH train. they’re princesses and fairytales. that’s “their thing” and monster high has been rebooted so they don’t have to worry about that part (a crossover) of both series anymore
idk. my theory is wild and probably unlikely, but i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what’s happening. after all, we don’t know what goes on behind the scenes
unless mattel also just doesn’t care about what disney thinks anymore and is okay with risking losing the license for a second time but i highly doubt it
would i love EAH to come back ?? hex yeah, but i will also say… at this point, it really doesn’t matter if they never bring back EAH. we already don’t have it. keeping the book closed forever after won’t make a difference. it would just be nice if they did give them the same treatment they are to G1 monster high. just make the dolls and be done with it. make them like they did the creeproductions and let some time pass before making more. that way they’re not “taking” too much away from disney. i’d personally would prefer skullectors (spellectors ??) of EAH. they’d be on mattel creations and are done in limited quantities as a one time thing so that definitely wouldn’t give disney any competition (if that’s what they’re worried about), but that’s just me :,))
or maybe we’re all overthinking the random song drop and mattel was only doing it so there can be some activity on the EAH socials and not look “abandoned”, and wanna hold onto whatever is left of it considering trademarks and all. idk
Hello everyone, I'm making this huge post because I'm hyperfixated on what's going down in the Ever After High fandom right now, and I need to type all my thoughts out. So, get your tinfoil hats ready folks, because it's speculation and theorizing time.
DISCLAIMER: this is all just speculation and/or incoherent rambling. I'm putting it under the cut because... it's a little long lol (if you see any grammatical and/or spelling errors ...no you don't)
Earlier today, January 5th (or January 4th, depending on your timezone) Mattel released a "new" song for Ever After High, "Can't Get Me Down" (you'll see why I put new in quotation marks in a bit). Reaction to the song itself was... mixed, with some really liking it, some not liking it, and some being more neutral. The reason why this sent the fandom into a frenzy is because, obviously, this is our first real content from the actual source since the series ended in 2018.
Tin foil hat time, I don't think this song is "new" at all. I'm speculating that this song was in the Mattel's equivalent of The Vault for a long time, which could explain a lot about why it sounds janky and almost ai. Also, I saw some people saying it reminded them of Taylor Swift, and we know, canonically, Taylor Swift exists the EAH universe as Tailor Quick, and Raven is a fan of her. Adding on the fact that Raven is used as the cover for this song, I suspect she would've sung this either in a webisode, or more likely a special, but it got cut for whatever reason.
Here we get to my biggest point: why now? Why would Mattel, with no promotion beforehand, just drop this out of the blue? I saw someone suggest it was a mistake, and I saw someone else suggest that this was leaked by some employee, but I don't think either of those are the case- if they were, it likely would've been taken down already.
I shared this theory through an ask, but I'll reiterate it here: My theory is Mattel is using this as a tactic see how people would respond to the idea of EAH making a comeback.
I think EAH making a comeback now kind of makes sense- look at what happened during it's downfall; iirc doll sales were low, but also, Disney had created Descendants. This is a bit more into conspiracy theory territory, but from what I've heard discussed, many think Disney's creation of Descendants was the nail in the coffin for EAH. It's also common knowledge that Disney is extremely territorial about fairytales, and especially when it comes to princesses, so them making Descendants to assure EAH's decline... checks out. With Disney not doing well now, Mattel could be trying to take advantage of that. But that's just my theory, I could be totally wrong and Mattel could be doing this for some other completely random reason.
There was also some other stuff about trademarks, but I'm not good with that kind of stuff, so you can read more about that here.
TL;DR: this situation is very *exaggerated and vague hand waving in air* as you can tell by this post, so while we can continue speculating and/or doing our own digging, I think it'd be best to keep an eye out to see if Mattel releases any more songs, or even any announcements/statements.
If I forgot anything or explained this poorly, I apologize!! Please let me know if I did either and I will try and correct that!!
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mello-jello · 3 years ago
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Levihan Drabble Week - Fluff Friday
1246 Words.
@levihan-drabbles my prompt was:
"Don't you have a country to run?" "My favorite person is in the hospital, the country can wait" "I don't think it works like that." "I run the country, so it does."
---
“I guess… this is the result of all your devoted... hearts” Levi proudly saluted them all. His comrades and his friends, as he let the tears flow freely. It was over. It was finally over. As the weight of everything that he went through the past few days began to lift, he started feeling light headed. He sank back against the rock, afraid he was going to fall over. His vision was blurry, all he could focus on was the sound of his own breathing. He needed water. His vision doubled.
“LEEEVIIIIIII?”
He heard a voice, off in the distance. It was a warm, familiar voice, but something was off. It sounded worried, panicked even.
“LEVI!”
It was much closer now, and a little breathless. They had been running to him.
“Levi, stay with me!” Hange scooped Levi up in their arms.
Of course, I’ll stay with you. Where would I go? His last thought before he completely blacked out was how safe he felt in Hange’s arms.
---
He remembers that his leg is broken from when he saved Connie from that titan. He tried to flex the rest of his body parts, to assess the damage. The stumps on his right hand where his first two fingers used to be were sore and stinging. Probably infected. Half of his face was still bandaged. Both his legs were sore, but he could wiggle his toes on both feet, so that was promising. There was a dull ache throughout his body, and his skin felt clammy. He huffed to himself, and tried to relax.
He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he could tell where he was. The rough sheets, the gentle humming of machines, the steady beeping of the vitals monitor, and the sterile smell were all dead giveaways. He was in the hospital.
He focussed on the hustle and bustle of the hospital hallway. Carts being wheeled around, footsteps, and the low murmur of many hushed voices.
“Are you saying I’m not allowed to go in anymore?”
His remaining eye shot open when he heard the voice he recognized.
“No, I’m just saying, like, don’t you have a country to run or something?” Levi didn’t know who the second voice was, but they were a bitch and hated them.
“My favorite person is in the hospital, the country can wait.” Levi smiled under his bandages. It pulled at his stitches, but his pain was dulled by the warmth growing in his chest.
"I don't think it works like that, sweetie,” they replied, condescendingly. Yup. Bitch.
"Well, you see I run the country, so yes, it does work like that,” Hange retorted, matching the bitch’s sarcastic tone.
Somehow, his smile widened. That was his Hange.
When Hange entered his room, their slightly miffed countenance shifted to one of pure joy. “You’re awake!” They rushed over the bedside and took hold of his good hand. With their free hand, they delicately brushed Levi’s hair off his forehead, almost as if afraid to touch him. Tears of relief began to well in Hange’s eyes. “Hey there,” they spoke so softly, Levi almost didn’t hear it.
“Hey, Four-Eyes,” Levi pulled their interlaced hands to his mouth and kissed Hange’s through the bandages. His voice was hoarse and small, but it was still music to Hange’s ears. Music they hadn’t listened to in 11 days.
After a moment, Levi asked, “They giving you trouble out there?”
“I know, right? What a bitch”. Levi stifled a chuckle as the movement reminded him of his injuries.
“But, what did she mean, ‘you have a country to run’?”
“Oh Levi, you missed SO. MUCH. You’ve only been out for 11 days, I say ‘only’ because while it is a long time for an individual to be in a coma, it’s an amazingly short amount of time for Paradis to transform into a Constitutional Monarchy with its first democratically elected official: Prime Minister Hange Zoe!”
Levi just blinked. He didn’t know what any of those words meant.
“That bitch in the hallway made a snide comment about how I was wasting all my time coming here everyday, when I should be doing my job,” Hange said, glaring at the doorway. “She said: don’t you get tired of blabbering on? He can’t reply, and he’s probably not even listening to you. I thought to myself, that’s just normal!”
Levi laughed and then groaned in pain. “Don’t make me laugh, Four-Eyes. It hurts”.
“Sorry,” they said earnestly.
“S’okay” Levi’s pain meds were starting to tire him out again.
“To be fair, it’s never been this easy”. Hange planted a kiss on Levi’s forehead.
“It’s the drugs”.
“Shut up, I’m hilarious.”
She was. And she was more bubbly than usual. Well, her usual as of lately. Before, this would have been considered a mild Hange. While he appreciated them being here, he couldn’t help but worry about them. Can they really afford to be with him right now? Was Hange putting off duties only to drown in them later? Becoming Commander of the Scouts had already taken a heavy toll on them and although he didn’t quite understand Hange’s new title, knew that it must be a huge responsibility.
Hange noted the worry in his eye and said, “I came to a realization while I was talking to you. You wanna know what it was?”
Levi nodded.
“I, Hange Zoe, while being awesome in every conceivable way, am just one person. My whole time as a scout, I kept repeating over and over that we were a team and that we could handle anything if humanity just worked together. Why didn’t I internalize that as Commander? I had too much on my plate and didn’t ask for help when I needed it”. They paused, remembering the many sleepless nights and stressful days. “So, Prime Minister Hange Zoe will be a master delegator. Armin is handling the restructuring of our government and military. I get daily reports from him, but other than that, he’s got my back while I’m here. Onyankopon is our ambassador and trade consultant. I have a whole cabinet of officials to oversee certain regions of land, and the best part is that they were chosen by the people of their respective regions to represent them,” Hange explained with growing enthusiasm all about this new system of government.
“That’s amazing, Hange.” Levi looked at them with such a fondness that made Hange blush.
“Thank you,” they bashfully replied as they fiddled with their glasses. They couldn’t see his mouth, but they could tell he was grinning by the crinkles around his eye.
“Alright, you” Hange said, standing up. “If you ever want to use that leg again, you’ll have to do some intense rehab. You’re so shit at sleeping. Eleven long days, but you’re still sleepy? Damn, quality over quantity, Levi! So rest up, because I’m going to tell the doctor you’re up and we’re starting tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll be here every step of the way… to laugh. When you fall on your ass,” they winked at him. That earned a small giggle from Levi, who was giving in to unconsciousness.
“Alright Four-Eyes… sounds…. Sounds real...mmm... really good” Levi drifted back to sleep and Hange kissed his forehead once more. Then whispered in his ear, “thanks for not dying, short stuff. You had me really worried there. I need you to get healed up, okay? I know a bitch that needs an ass-kicking”.
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snake-rot · 3 years ago
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(EXCLAIMING)
(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)
(GROANS)
(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTING)
(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(GROANS)
(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(COUGHS)
Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?
Sweet home Alabama
(GRUNTING)
Lord, I'm coming home to you
(GRUNTS) Justin!
Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
Yeah
Justin, you get back here right now!
No, stop!
GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!
(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)
Wait, wait.
Hold on. Easy, little boy.
Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!
(GASPS)
No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.
(GASPS)
Justin!
I've got him! I've got him!
(JUSTIN GRUNTS)
(AIR ESCAPING)
Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered
that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen
and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.
There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens
try to protect their beloved landmarks.
Law enforcement still has no leads,
leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains
is responsible for this heinous crime?
And where will he strike next?
Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.
Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling
cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the
kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.
Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was
awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:
There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay
doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,
poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…
IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?
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wri0thesley · 3 years ago
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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn
Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity
ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 
Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making
i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!
Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.
ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn
Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.
gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;
Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕
honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 
Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?
hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3
Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.
i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 
Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday
dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 
Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.
extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 
Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!
ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!
Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~
Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)
Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.
hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 
i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 
anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 
Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!
thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3
Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.
this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 
Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u
ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.
Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)
i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 
Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.
honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3
honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3
Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!
honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 
Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖
ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3
Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!
to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 
Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!
anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 
Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!
wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end
HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 
Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.
ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3
Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!
i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 
Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon
i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3
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detectivejigsawpines · 4 years ago
Text
Relatively Relativity-part 5 (Ford gets forcefully decaffeinated and Dipper gets chest hair)
Seeing how freakishly big and hairy his arms were (at least compared to how they were just yesterday) told Dipper that no, it wasn’t a dream, he really was an old man now.  Great.
Mabel was already out of bed, so Dipper started to sit up-and immediately tried not to groan as he realized that Stan’s comments about how much your joints ached first thing in the morning at this age had not been exaggerated.
Oh man...I hope my body’s not going to be this badly in shape when I get old for real.  Is my back supposed to make that kind of noise?
“Ow, ow ow ow…”  Dipper swung his legs around to the side, and went through the arduous process of standing up.  Once he was actually on his feet, he felt more or less okay.
Until he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sounds of yelling from downstairs.
Dipper sprinted downstairs as fast as he could (again, not as fast as when he was thirteen), following the sounds of yelling towards the kitchen.  A million horrifying scenarios flitted through his thoughts as an explanation.
Had a monster broken in and attacked?  Was something on fire?  Worse, was someone on fire?!
He skidded into the doorway-and saw Mabel standing with a hand pressed flat against one of the cupboards, keeping it shut, while Grunkle Ford appeared to be trying to climb her, and Grunkle Stan stood at the stove looking far too amused at the level of conflict that was taking place (then again, this was Stan we’re talking about).
“What in the heck is going on here?!” Dipper demanded.
Ford finally seemed to manifest how undignified his current behavior was; he immediately let go of Mabel and hopped away, attempting to smooth down his clothes.  “Ah-good morning, Dipper.  We-were just-having a small disagreement on proper morning sustenance-”
“Mabel wasn’t lettin’ him have coffee,” Stan translated.
“He’s too young for it!” Mabel retorted.
“Oh for-we are not actual children, Mabel!  In case you’ve forgotten, I am more than forty years your senior!”  Ford looked a little like he was about to stamp his foot.
“Not right now, you’re not!”
“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to side with Mabel on this,” Dipper reluctantly admitted.  Immediately he found himself having to shrink away from his mini-grunkle’s withering glare.  “Considering what you guys were like with the Mabel Juice yesterday, it’s probably not good for you to get high amounts of sugar or caffeine in your systems!”
Ford looked like he was about to snarl out something indignant-but then the truth of Dipper’s words sank in, and he slumped down in reluctant acknowledgment.  Grumbling wordlessly, he stomped to the fridge and yanked out the carton of apple juice that was in the door.
Stan snickered-and then swore when he realized that the batch of scrambled eggs he was making had started burning due to his not paying attention.
“Language!” Ford scolded.
“Sorry.  Guess I’ve spent too long away from kids.”
Mabel blinked.  “Wait.  Since we’re the grownups now, does that mean we can use those words?”
“No!”  Stan hurriedly shuffled the eggs around until he’d gathered the blackened ones into his spatula, allowing him to shake them into the trash.  “I don’t wanna haveta explain ta your mom why you came home with a bad case of sailor mouth!”
“We’re in junior high now, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper reminded him as he sat down, “We already hear all of them several times a day.” “No excuse.”
Dipper was tempted to try figuring out how to make coffee just to see what it tasted like (okay, and maybe to annoy Grunkle Ford a little).  But he decided he wasn’t ready to try experimenting with the process yet, and so he just had juice along with eggs and cereal.
“Where’s Soos?” he asked as the rest of his family sat down.
“They got some early tourists, so he’s showing them around the exhibits while Melody runs the gift shop,” said Mabel.  “And it’s shopping day, so Abuelita’s getting groceries.”
“Hope they weren’t freaked out by all the racket.”
****
Elsewhere in the Shack
Soos nearly jumped out of his skin at the sounds of yelling, which could be heard from all the way on this side of the house, but he rolled with it.
“Whoa, sounds like the Summerween ghosts have started up early this year.”
A small child at the front of the group raised her tiny hand.  “What’s Summerween?”
Soos knelt and put a large hand on her tiny shoulder.  “We have much to discuss.”
****
For a little bit everyone ate in relative silence; finally, though, Dipper cleared his throat.  “Melody suggested we should try wearing some kind of protective gear in case the flowers act up again.”
“I made us all masks!”  Mabel held up four strips of brightly colored cloth with elastic straps at the ends, and their names stitched onto them surrounded by rainbows and flowers and stuff.
“That probably depends on whether it was just ingestion of the pollen that changed us, or if they needed to make contact with us,” Ford mused, rubbing his chin.  “We should probably prepare for both outcomes, just in case.  I think I have what we need in the basement.”
He hopped off his chair-and paused to give himself a slightly annoyed/confused glare at having done so, before shaking his head and making his way out of the kitchen.
When he returned, it was with a large, clunky-looking watch thing strapped to his wrist.
“This generates a small force field system that can completely envelope the flower and prevent the pollen from spreading; it also makes things levitate.”
“Whoa.”  Stan’s eyes grew ridiculously big and shiny.  “Can I use it?”
Ford narrowed his eyes at his brother.  “Are you planning to try and pick pockets with it?”
“...No…”
“Uh-huh.  I think I’ll hold onto it for now.”
“Hmph.  Whatever.”
****
The mini-grunkles were still in their clothes from yesterday, which were kind of filthy, so at Mabel’s insistence they changed into some of Dipper’s spare things.
Stan held up a blue-and-white striped T-shirt, tilting his head quizzically.  “If you got all these clothes, why the heck do you wear the same outfit every day?”
“And when do you take time to wash it?” Ford asked, wrinkling his nose.
Dipper flushed.  “Don’t you guys start!”
“HA!  See, I’m not the only one who thinks your hygiene practices are gross!” Mabel crowed triumphantly.
Dipper shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked out of the attic.
****
Eventually everyone took the time to get dressed before their new expedition.
Mabel had made herself a brand new sweater (purple, with “HOT GRANDMA” written on it in sparkly bright blue letters), and borrowed one of Abuelita’s old dresses to wear under it.  Dipper, meanwhile, had pointedly put his clothes in the wash, and borrowed a pair of Stan’s khaki shorts and a red Hawaiian shirt.
Well, at least I finally have chest hair, he thought as he buttoned up the shirt, examining his torso in the mirror.  At least there was one thing to enjoy about old age.
Unfortunately, it was accompanied by a large quantity of stomach hair...and arm hair...and ear hair...basically a lot more hair than he’d been expecting.
He was only stopped from seeing if shaving some of it off would be more effective than it had been for Stan by the realization that his family was probably waiting for him.
“Took ya long enough,” Stan scolded when he returned to the kitchen.  “C’mon, let’s go already!”
They headed out the door-and immediately ran into Wendy, who had at last showed up for work.
****
Aw, crap.
Dipper realized he had forgotten to text her about what had happened.
“Uh-hey, Wendy.  Believe it or not, it’s us.”
She did a long, slow blink.  Then, raising one eyebrow, she asked, “...Do I want to know?”
“We had an accident with a magic flower,” Mabel explained.  “So now we gotta get another one to figure out how to change us back to normal.”
“Ya wanna come?” Stan asked.
Wendy smiled at him.  “That’d be awesome, Mr. Pines, but I got work.”
Stan’s face contorted into an expression of shock.  “Wait, what?  You’re passing up a chance ta slack off work?!”  He reached up a tiny hand to feel Wendy’s forehead.  “Are you feeling okay?!”
She snorted and shoved him off.  “Soos pays me extra if I stay through a whole shift.  And I’m trying to save up for a car, so I need all the help I can get.”
“...So the secret to keeping you from slacking off was to pay you more?”  Stan pondered this for a bit...and then shook his head.  “Nah, it’s not worth it.”
Wendy laughed and punched his shoulder.  “Later, dorks.”  She started to walk past, before spinning around on one heel.  “Oh, Dipper-loving the new hair.  Gives you a kinda silver fox look.”
...Despite himself, Dipper couldn’t help blushing and grinning as he ran a hand through his hair.  And then he sighed as he ignored a smirking Mabel and headed to the car, ready to share joint custody of the driver’s seat with Stan again.
The fact that Wendy only ever saw him as attractive when he was way older than her was probably a sign that he’d made the right choice in stopping pining over her.
Heh heh...pining.
Because he was a Pines.
...Oh crap, now he was starting to think dad jokes were funny.
We gotta get changed back soon.
********
...Sorry, Wendip fans, but I just don't see it happening.
It's not even the age difference, so much as that personality-wise, she strikes me as just staying a "cool big sis" figure to both him and Mabel.
(Also I'm kind of biased towards Dipcif-)
Nothing, you didn't see that.
Moving on.
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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years ago
Text
Picture Perfect (Indruck)
A friend on discord @morganeashton asked for this meet ugly for Indruck: 09. we’re strangers who meet at a bar, get drunk, and wake up to announcements of our new engagement all over our social media - what did we do???
Duck’s woken up with worse hangovers. He’s also woken up with far worse people in his bed. The man next to him is slim and angular, silvery hair falling across his face as he sleeps. Yep, just as cute today as he was yesterday. 
Now if only he could remember if they slept together. 
He groans quietly as he climbs out of bed; he’s in a fluffy hotel robe with nothing beneath it. So one point in the “we fucked” category.
Duck tugs the curtains, already mostly closed, all the way shut to block out harsh daylight. The man, Indrid, makes a chirping noise and rolls over, still asleep.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“I was not aware this was that kind of bar.”
“It’s, uh, I mean, it ain;t, but, uh, you, uh, you looked kinda lonesome and , uh, well, fuck, nevermind, sorry-”
“It’s alright” the man grins reassuringly, setting a hand with black painted nails on Duck’s arm, “it would be good for me to spend the night with something other than my own thoughts.”
Duck hops onto the stool next to him, signals the bartender for drinks
Padding out into the next room, the suite is just as impressive as last it was last night. Whoever Indrid is, he’s loaded. 
“So, uh, what do you do?”
“I’m a photographer.”
“Really? Damn, I, uh, I dabble in it as a hobby, mostly nature stuff, and I’m fuckin’ amazed by anyone who can do it as a job. Shit’s hard.”
“It is rather challenging at times, though I enjoy it. What do you do?”
“I’m a ranger in the national forest. Live in Kepler, that dinky little town by it, came the half hour here for a work conference.”
“That sounds fascinating, tell me everything” Indrid leans closer, grinning.
“Uh, okay. Usually folks are itchin to make some joke about trees. Or Smokey the Bear.”
“I suppose you are bear-like.”
“Heh-”
“I like it.”
“Guh.”
He finds a room service menu on the table by the T.V the size of his first car, reads it over as he wanders back to the bedroom. Peeking into the trash, he doesn’t see any condoms or condom wrappers. One point in the ‘we didn’t fuck” category.
“That was last call, sugar.”
“No, unacceptable, I want to hear the bear-box story you, hic, --excuse me-- promised me.”
“And I wanna tell it, jus’ can’t be here.”
“Come, come back to my room. It’s big, we can talk, please come?”
“Course, darlin, whoa, damn, think we better take the elevator, little drunker than I meant to get.”
“I’ll, hic, admit I was paying more attention to you than my, hic, drink quantity, my sweet.”
He sets the menu down, wanders into the bathroom but finds no pain killers. Settles for filling two glasses with tap water and carrying them to a side table. When he slides back under the blankets and rests against the headboard, Indrid sighs, wiggles closer and snuggles so his nose is bumping Duck’s thigh.
“Morning?”
“Yep.”
“Ugh.”
“Here, this’ll help.” He hands Indrid the water as he blearily sits up. The taller man downs it in one, handing the empty glass back to him with a smile.
“Thank you. Such lovely southern manners.”
“You’re welcome. And, uh, speakin of manners, do you remember if we…”
“No, we did not. There was some kissing, I recall, but we decided we were too drunk. A wise decision all told, though the temptation was great.” Indrid slowly looks him over, smile turning from sleepy to sultry.
“Well uh, this was they day I set aside for sight-seein. Think I could be persuaded to see some sights right here.” His phone buzzes. He ignores it.
“Really now.” Indrid purrs, leaning in to kiss his cheek. On the other nightstand, his phone dings. He ignores it. 
“Oughta get some breakfast in us first, fuckin on a hangover stomach ain’t fun.” Another buzz.
“Mmm, very wise. Their breakfast is quite good, you can order whatever you like.” Indrid is nearly in his lap. His phone dings twice more. 
“Ain’t you the polite host--for fucks sake.” Duck reaches over and grabs his phone, Indrid sighing and mirroring him when his dings three more times. 
He has texts from Juno, Aubrey, and Ned, two calls from Jane, and one from Joe, and all seem to be about…
“Oh no” Indrid covers his mouth with one hand, brown eyes wide, “oh no, oh Duck, oh I’m supremely sorry.”
“Married? What the fuck? We didn’t get married, we cant, there ain’t a spot for it here, what the fuck-”
“Why do they think this, it must be oh, oh dear” he turns his phone. It’s an Instagram profile, at the top of which is a photo of the two of them in  their robes in this very bed, lounging together with goofy smiles as Indrid kisses Duck’s cheek. The caption is even worse.
“Best man ever. Internet, say hello to my husband. Isn’t he handsome?” Duck reads aloud, Indrid making a prolonged noise of alarm as the phone continues dinging. 
“I’m so sorry, I, I don’t know, I must have been trying to type future husband? Which is still hyperbolic, I was drunk, but it would have been more salvageable.”
“Okay, right, we all done some boneheaded shit havin’ had a few too many, but why the fuck does everyone and their goddamn uncle know?”
“I....I never said my last name last night, did I.”
“No.” Duck’s stomach sours.
“I’m Indrid Cold.”
Duck blinks at him, and even in the midst of the panic he smiles a little.
“I didn’t get the sense you knew of me, which was part of your already considerable charm. I, I am the man you call for your Rolling Stone spread or your Vanity Fair cover, the one magazines fight over to have cover the MET Gala or the Oscars. My social media followers meet the same number as some countries populations, and I am notoriously reclusive and private about my life. Hence the uproar.” He rubs his forehead, “I am fairly certain I just wanted a picture of us; I was having so much fun, you, you made me feel so wonderful and I assumed this would be a fling, and I, I wanted a memento. In my compromised state, I must have misjudged where to put it.” 
“Huh.” Duck stares at his phone, still lighting up with new messages. He’s torn between being flattered and being really, really pissed. 
“I, ah, I will call my publicist and sort things out now. Excuse me.” 
Duck watches Indrid leave. His phone is buzzing with unfamiliar numbers now, and when he answers one it’s a reporter from a fashion site he’s never heard of. 
Indrid is handsome, and intriguing, and Duck desperately wants to see as much of him as he can. But there’s no way in hell he can handle this kind of attention, even if it’s misplaced. So while Indrid speaks, hurried and hushed, in the other room, he slips on yesterday’s clothes and disappears out the door. 
---------------------------------------------------
He almost doesn’t look at the phone when it buzzes. For starters, he’s at work, but also the last two weeks have made him never want to speak to another living human again. When he pulls it from his pocket and looks at the message a half-dozen emotions hit him at once.
Indrid: I’m fairly certain we exchanged numbers, so I hope this is the right one. Duck, if this is you, I hope you’re well. And if you’re interested, I was wondering if you’d like to meet again.
Duck: Yeah, it’s me. And my answer might be different if I hadn’t spent the last two weeks being hounded by fucking reporters.
Indrid: So my clarification did nothing.
Duck: convinced them there’d been some kind of drama, so now they all want to know if it was a money grab or I’m an escort or some shit like that.
Indrid: I’m sorry, Duck. I’ll make things right, somehow. 
Duck: Don’t do it thinking it’ll get you a second date. Because the thought of that much attention all at once again give me fucking hives.
There’s no response, so Duck jams the phone back into his pocket and trudges up the trail.
------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, maybe following Indrid’s Instagram was a bad idea. Because, unlike any other celeb on the platform, he never posts pictures of himself. Duck just wants to see his face again. 
He looks down, notices four new notifications; an account with only five posts and an icon that’s just two red circles followed him a few days ago, and whoever it belongs to really likes his photos. 
Refreshing the app brings a new post from Indrid, black background with red text.
Mr. Cold invites members of the press to learn how they can gain access to exclusive images and information. 
“Good for him.” Duck mutters, before rolling over and shutting off the light.
---------------------------------------------
Duck sits on the pebbled shore by the lake, skipping stones without counting their jumps. He’s off shift, could go home, but some evenings what he likes best is sitting here, watching the world change from afternoon to dusk. 
Someone is coming up the trail and he sighs; hardly anyone comes to this lake, and yet someone has to at the exact same time he’s trying to decompress. 
“It’s even lovelier in person.” 
Pebbles scatter as he spins.
“Indrid, what the fuck are you doing here? Uh, I mean” he scrambles for his words when he sees Indrid wince at the tone, “not that I ain’t happy to see you but...why?”
“I wanted to ask you if you were still being bothered.” The lilt is shy, nearly drowned out by the cicadas.
“Nope. Stopped about a week ago.”
“Ah good. That means my plan worked. You see I, ah, I offered every large press and small freelancer the chance to access never before seen pieces of my work, all for free. In exchange, they signed a contract that they would leave you alone indefinitely, regardless of your relationship to me, and that any writing on me and a partner would only be done with permission from both myself and them. Anyone who violated those clauses would face a very painful lawsuit.”
“You realize that didn’t do much to make people think I meant nothin to you.”
Indrid shrugs, “That was not the point. I wanted them to leave you alone.”
“Oh.” He looks back across the water, watches an Osprey skim the surface, “how’d you know I’d be here?”
“It’s a spot you shoot often, so I showed your friend at the station the photos and she pointed me the right way.”
“...You’re the person who’s been likin all my pictures, ain’t you?”
“Yes. I, ah, you post plenty of yourself, or your friend the Lady Flame tags you, and I, ah, I missed you, I thought about you so much that I wanted to see you. Perhaps that’s, ah, creepy. I thought it better than constantly trying to contact you.”
“Yeah, good call.”
Indrid shifts, awkwardly, “may I sit?”
Duck nods, and Indrid sinks onto the ground next to him.
“You really ain’t dressed for hikin, are you?”
“No. It’s not something I do often, though you make it sound very appealing.”
“We oughta go together then.” He sets his hand, upturned, on the warm rocks in between them.
“I would like that.” Indrid takes it, “perhaps we could go to lunch afterwards.”
“Sounds real nice.” Duck scoots closer, setting their joined hands on his thigh and resting his head on Indrid’s shoulder.
“To be certain I do not make a fool of myself again; are you saying you would like to try dating me?”
“That I would. But you gotta promise one thing.”
“Anything.”
“No pictures until the third date.” He grins and Indrid chuckles, leaning in for a kiss as warm and slow as the setting sun. 
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mrskurono · 4 years ago
Note
what !!!! omnipotent being !!! i mean thank you sm ily2 you’re so sweet and i love ur writing too 🥺 but i don’t deserve such high praise it’s just my horny ass thoughts finally seeing the light of day 😭 but like honestly it’s only because u were so open to my ideas 🥺 like i’ve tried sending thirsts to other blogs but it never rlly turned out well, usually them saying they didn’t vibe or simply not answering (which could mean it never reached them at all !!), and‼️ i don’t blame them for at all ‼️ it’s completely ok to not vibe with an ask or ignore it it’s ur blog after all, but i’d be lying if i say that it didn’t make my confidence in sending thirsts go 📉📉📉. the last thing i want is to make other people uncomfortable :(. so like lowkey u were my last shot and if it was badly received again, i was just gonna give up on sending thirsts completely lol ✌🏼😗✨
basically just wanted to say that i rlly appreciate you liking my thoughts 🥺
- 🪢🥸 sorry this got long and rambly and kinda em*tional omg 🤢🤢 now back to our regularly 😎 scheduled 😜 fun jokes 🤪 and horny hour 🥵
YOUR THIRSTS ARE THE EXACT THING I NEEDED TO ACTUALLY WANT TO WRITE AGAIN OK LIKE- HOLD ON IM ALREADY PMS EMOTIONAL HERE LET ME JUST FULL ON HAVE AN (1) EMOTION OK-
Wait ima put it under read more sorry I went off .-.
My other writing blog was fun when it started. I mostly wrote for anyone (jjk) people sent in. So y'know 99% Gojo, Nanami, Toji and Sukuna (this was even before Geto got popular so it was hardcore those four and that's it) and the 1% I spent writing about Mahito and the other curses. Which is where my dark content side really started bc I loved writing that/felt inspired. Where the other shit felt like a job.
But I hated writing for the popular characters. It was the same thing. Every. Single. Ask. Fucking I'd have 12 asks "Sukuna with a short s/o that he loves uwu" I fucking hated it. I hate ooc crap and mischaracterizations just so it can fit what someone wants (crack content is a thing, pls do enjoy it, I just personally don't enjoy it) And finally I took a 2 week break after a Kinkmas event and boom. I didn't want to write anymore. I just didn't want to keep doing it.
Which was shit bc this is my only hobby now due to covid + having a baby. So writing for me is my only outlet. I can't go out and even do normal "first time mom" things bc of the raging anxiety of getting my son, or my wife or my elderly grandma sick. So I've basically been stuck at home an entire year (it'll be an entire year around March 15th ish bc that's when we went into lockdown) and writing was the only hobby I could continue bc the rest involved, y'know, outside world things. So when I didn't want to write anymore honestly I felt like shit (I almost was tired of jjk too, I loved the show but running a blog for it made me hate it bc of the fans)
Well then i branched out to hq bc it's a definite comfort show to me and one of my favorites so I thought adding it would help inspire me to write again. Truthfully I expect this blog to flop bc I've seen almost no femdom content on tumblr. Like- I've seen more anti femdom content from blogs than I've seen femdom blogs. So naturally I expected this to never go anywhere and I'd probably end up deleting it anyways.
But then you came along (and a few others from my old blog + newbies) and you guys have made this so much fun for me. And made me feel so validated by what I find sexually comfortable. I don't like to be sub. It makes me uncomfortable and it makes me not want to have sex. So the quantity of "cute little sub reader calling so and so daddy while he makes her cry" eww. Just. No. Eww. That's triggering you dumb fucks. I'm not small. I'm not submissive and I'm not a play thing. So I don't want to read it. And the amount of daddy issue having idiots who want to be beaten like white trash but turn their nose up at femdom bc its "gross" just drives me bat shit.
Your thirsts are amazing. Your content you send me makes my day I legit check for them when my son gets up to eat at night. They're the kinda things I wanna do bc to me thats arousing. The dynamics in femdom sub/dom are just so much different than the other shit and people just don't get it. The female is in control but with it there's so much unspoken consent always being checked and there's a side of caring that always is present unlike with the other shit I read. People ask why I like it and really all i can think to say is femdom tends to nurture a more caring dynamic between the two. You treat your sub well and the sub loves the dom. The two coexist to still take care of each other even if it's someone tied up and pegging them until they're drooling. Femdom makes consent and caring its main pillar that stems a good dom/sub dynamic. The shit people are out there doing right now with "Atsumu fucking you even if it hurts but you suck it up" or "Sakusa hits you all the time but its fine" jfc I get writing trauma but EVERYTHING is that. I don't know if yall need to collectively get off the internet and go to counseling or what. But daddy kink is not a personality trait and no everyone is into it.
Anyways shit sorry for the rant. The fact people hate your thirsts drive me crazy bc it's the same bias shit for writing femdom bc everyone is a God damn weak wristed pillow princess with daddy issues as their only personality trait and haven't ever had sex just fucked a poster of saskue or whatever the emo dude is off naruto. Just know I love your thirsts and everything you send me. None of it makes me uncomfortable bc it's the exact delicious stuff that I love. Minus mad passionate sex with Kageyama. I'm very vanilla with him but that's bc I'm stupid and in love. So ignore that. But babe ilysm pls always feel comfortable on this blog it's your home to be yourself I promise ♡♡♡♡
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acelikesturtles · 4 years ago
Text
“What’re You In For?”
Prompt: #22 (Two Miserable People at the same Wedding) - Raphael x Olivia
Warnings: Light Alcohol Mention, Cursing (duh, its Raphael)
Word Count: 1,568
A/N: This is from an ask game that I reblogged a couple days ago. It took me a while to finish editing it because I really and truly prefer quality of my work over quantity, plus I needed to find the right soundtrack for this so I could focus 110%. I hope you like it @headhalfling!
As much as Raphael cherished April as a friend and Casey as his “fourth brother”, he had despised almost every last moment of the last 8 hours. The tie around his neck was too tight and the suit that April requested be tailored to his exact measurements still felt like it was smothering him. When he had finished the first suit fitting at the lair he had figured that all it would take to break free from this prim and proper prison was a well-timed stretch. That is, until Leo had very gently patted him on the shoulder and reminded him that they were putting all these fancy trimmings on for April and Casey, and that after the "incident" at their engagement party, Raph would likely do better blending in.
Oh yeah, that.
As if the clothing and the standard wedding formalities weren't enough to bother Raph, he had promised April he would only have one glass of champagne after the last time. Out of respect (and maybe a fair deal of embarrassment) following the unforeseen events of the engagement party, he decided that it might be best to stay alert, especially since being a ninja and all doesn't really pay in hard cash. Or at least...not enough cash that could cover the fees associated with a professional carpet cleaner.
One finger lazily circled around the brim of his empty champagne glass. Amongst all the chatter in the room his eyes remained fixed on Casey and April. He couldn't tell if he was trying to read their lips and decipher whatever lovey-dovey conversation they were having or perhaps just trying to understand the ins and outs of the event in general. He couldn't really say that he'd ever felt in love, and maybe he was just being incredibly cynical, but this felt like a strange way to celebrate it; stuffy outfits and distant cousins you've only seen twice in your life didn't seem like a celebration of love or a union of two families but like a strange ritual that he couldn't quite wrap his mind around.
Just as his brain was finally translating something admittedly pretty juicy happening between the happy couple, someone shuffled past him and took a seat beside him, drawing his attention reluctantly away. She didn't seem to be paying him much attention, instead tapping away at her phone rather furiously with one hand while brushing stray strands of blue hair away from her eyes. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she set her phone face down on the table and grabbed the entirely unclaimed glass of champagne sitting in front of her place mat, then tapped her fingers rhythmically on the sides.
"What're you in for?" She said playfully then took a small sip from the glass.
He laughed, then leaned back in his chair. "Does 'best man' count?"
"Hey, sure, I'm not the police. Besides, I knew that already." Once again pushing her hair from her eyes, she crinkled her nose when she smiled. "You guys were, er, I guess--you are--kind of distinct. Kinda cool if you ask me."
She set the champagne glass back down, before gazing up at her new conversation partner. Her striking hazel eyes connected with his own and caused him pause for a moment. Again, full of surprises, she didn't seem to react in fear or shock so much as intrigue at his physical appearance. He couldn't say that this wasn't a first, all night long at both the engagement party and this reception he and his brothers had been getting unwarranted looks that definitely indicated the unspoken feelings of the person staring. This, however, was different. As for how, he wasn't quite sure, but for now he simply felt unusually awkward and unable to figure out what he was supposed to say next. Mikey was always the better one at socializing. It was in his blood. Raph on the other hand, despite all the time he had to learn, was about as good at talking to humans as a fish was at flying.
He glanced down at the name tag that had been so carefully placed in front of where she sat before taking a shot in the dark that maybe she was the table-mate that hadn't showed up yet. Awfully late for her to arrive now...but not impossible.
"Umm...are you Lorraine Bri-...Brinch-...you know what, fuck, not even trying to pronounce that."
"What?" She followed where his eyes led to the cutesy black and gold calligraphy neatly engraved on a piece of folded card stock. She frowned and shook her head. "No, that's not me. My name's Olivia. Does make me wonder who that is though, and why they didn't show up. Kind of disrespectful, to not even RSVP honestly."
"Well what about you?" Raph countered. As if he even cared about this random other woman's dignity when he didn't even know who she was beyond her impossible to pronounce last name. "I didn't see you until just now."
"I’ve been here,” she responded. She broke eye contact with Raph and began picking at the skin surrounding her fingernails. She had noticeably callused fingers which matched the overall aesthetic of her chipped and unpainted fingernails. “I just don’t really want to be here. I don't typically like stuffy events like this, as much as I'm really glad to see Casey and April together. These things make me anxious, and I would drive home, but that wouldn’t be cool because I’m the photographer’s ride." She gestured vaguely towards the woman in a pantsuit with long black hair that had been tirelessly capturing every last angle possible of the bride, groom, and bridal party.
"Hey, uh...me too." He answered. He was starting to feel anxious too seeing the way that she picked at her fingernails. “These events, they aren’t really for me. This tie ain’t doing it for me either, its kinda been choking me,” He gave her a small smile, hoping that it might ease her mind to have someone sympathize with her, even if it wasn’t entirely on the same page. Again, Mikey would’ve been better at this kind of thing than he was, but it helped that the connection between them was already sort of going well. Well, aside from him accusing her of being late to the wedding, that is.
Olivia’s eyes narrowed on his black and white striped tie. She pressed her lips together, holding back a smile while a short breathy laugh escaped her nostrils. “Well, there’s your problem. You tied it too tight, dummy. Here-”
Her callused hands reached up and began loosening the fabric fastened around his neck. Earlier when he had tied it himself he hadn’t bothered to ask for help, assuming that this was just how ties were supposed to feel, but the gradual feeling of relief that came with the freedom to move his neck like normal was ethereal.  While she couldn’t fix the constricting fit of his suit, having the tie a little looser was already helping him feel more relaxed and adjusted. Their eyes locked again as she gently pulled her hands away from the satin, although this time something felt different. Like he was sweating. Everywhere.
With the relief of one discomfort came the creation of another. He cleared his throat.
“Thanks.”
“Hey, anytime, I learned how to tie those for a friend of mine a couple years ago. You should’ve asked for help from somebody sooner.”
Now he was beginning to feel really embarrassed. Did she think he was stupid? Or incapable of learning how to do normal human stuff like tying a goddamn tie? “Nah, they’re busy, didn’t wanna bother ‘em.” Now that made him at least seem noble.
“Well you weren’t bothering me.” She smiled and raised an eyebrow. “I doubt you would’ve bothered your brothers by asking for help, their ties don’t seem to be bothering them.
Fuck.
Still feeling sweaty, Raph shrugged and chuckled. “Awright, fine, then I’ll call you next time I gotta wear this damn thing, yeah?”
Once the words had escaped his mouth he realized how silly they must’ve sounded, but he didn’t take them back. He wasn’t an entirely socially inept fool, that was Donnie’s job. She paused for a moment at his words and began searching his eyes for an answer that he didn’t know he had in him. This was uncomfortable and sweaty and hot...but he kind of liked it. Raph swallowed and broke eye contact with her unceremoniously then twisted the watch on his left wrist back into center position.
“Maybe I will.”
Olivia reached into her silver crossbody that until now, had been closely kept by her side entirely untouched. She uncapped a black ballpoint ink pen and scribbled a string of numbers onto a blue sticky note that had already been lightly doodled on (likely during the ceremony) with rough sketches of motorcycles juxtaposed against delicate daisies and baby’s breath she had likely seen in April’s bouquet. She tore the sticky note off and nervously stuck it onto his placemat. With a quick swig of the rest of the champagne left in the glass she had claimed, she stood up from her chair and gave him one last smile before hurriedly heading off in the direction of her photographer friend, leaving Raph with more questions than he did answers.
Maybe this whole lovey-dovey shit wasn’t so dumb after all.
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itsthejuggernautbitch · 5 years ago
Note
Hello, Queen of the Smut, would you be opposed to writing for Endgame!Thor? I suddenly really wanna ride his face.
Hello yes I accept my title as Queen of Smut and I will absolutely write for my chunky boy Endgame!Thor. (Mostly because that’s pretty much the only point of Endgame that I enjoyed other than the gratuitous Hulk scenes.) You wanna ride Thor’s face? You’re gonna ride Thor’s face.
(Also this is WAY LONGER than I meant for it to be, but the creative juices are finally flowing and I can finish all the stuff I need to finish.)
(Also also, I don’t have a general taglist, so if anyone would like to be on one, lemme know.)
----
Thor rarely came down to the village from his little hobbit hole anymore. He’d tried for a while after the incident, tried to be a good king and keep the village running smoothly all on his own. But that wasn’t so anymore. He wouldn’t - or couldn’t - speak when he left his cottage, just came down to the village every now and then to check up on things and went back to his cottage on top of the hill. Over time, his visits became less and less frequent, and soon the Valkyrie Brunhilde was the one taking over leadership duties.
Eventually, it came to pass that he came down only once a month for supplies (stout, ale, beer, any alcohol he could get his hands on at this point). Only when he was in need of his escape did he then come down to the village below. And that meant that he came to see you.
Your father had been the man to brew Odin’s special casks of beer and ale, but he’d been lost in Hela’s attack on Asgard to her horde of undead. Your mother and older brother had been lost to Thanos’s snap, so that left you as the only one left who knew what blend of what went into making the special drinks. 
Thor had tried at first to look presentable when he came down - still tried to maintain a kingly appearance and dress appropriately. But again, over time, his motivation waned. He made his monthly appearance clad in sweatpants and enough layers of thermals and flannel to keep warm in the frigid climate. He no longer even attempted to maintain his physique - the carefully maintained abs and bulging muscles gave way to an extra layer overlaying the muscle.
Honestly, you rather liked it. The extra weight was a good look on him. He looked like the gods of old now - strong and sturdy, not so over-muscular and hard. Sometimes, if he wasn’t too drunk and it was a good day that month, he’d actually try to braid his beard so that it wasn’t quite so unkempt. He hadn’t done that lately.
It was just the usual day for Thor's visit when you first really noticed that he'd gotten quite thick. Let himself go was the usual whisper heard about the town, though you didn't share that opinion. He seemed physically healthy even if he wasn't mentally healthy.
Nevertheless, when he walked into your brewery, you knew why he was there. He had the same order every month - this particular ale, that particular beer, and a lot of it. And he knew that his order had already been filled - he was just making his monthly appearance.
That day, he looked more well-kept than usual, as if he'd tried to give the appearance of having his shit together. The temperature wasn't as cold as usual, so he'd opted for a single flannel shirt and sweatpants. You liked the look, actually. The sleeves of the flannel were tight and his muscles bulged nicely against the material.
"Good morning, Your Highness. Your usual order?" you asked, taking in his appearance. 
"Yeah - uh, yes. And add on some of that mead that your fath- your family used to make," Thor replied, looking a bit sheepish that he'd had to correct himself. "It's been a long time since I've had it, and I've been craving it for some time."
The particular mead that Thor was craving was made from a special honey, wholly unavailable unless one knew who to talk to. Luckily, you kept that contact and you had a store of it available.
"Well, it's been a long time since we've made it. It's been more of a drink for the older crowd for some time, so it's not in high demand,” you said. “I don't have any in stock, but I can make you some if you like so that it will age for next month. And I'll make a couple of extra barrels too in case you start craving it again."
Thor nodded. "That would be much appreciated, my lady."
You busied yourself writing up his order on an invoice sheet. "I'll have the boys bring your order around. Anything else I can do for you, Your Highness?"
"You can stop with all that 'Your Highness' business," Thor said, waving his hand languidly. "I've not been much of a king lately. 'Thor' will do just fine."
You looked up at him from your invoice, surprised that he would be that transparent about his troubles. "You're doing the best you can. You've been through a lot and everyone has a breaking point."
"We've all been through a lot,” Thor replied. “You've been through a lot as well."
"People handle things differently. I have a craft to hone and a business to run. My parents would have wanted me to keep with the tradition," you said, leaning against the bar. You'd tabulated up his costs, but you'd have the invoice sent to Brunhilde. She'd been doing most of the royal duties lately, such as divesting the funds. You made an effort to cheer him up. "Besides, who will make Thor's favorite ale if I'm not doing my duties?"
He grinned at that, the first time you'd seen him do so in, well, probably at least a year. "No one in such quantities as you've made for me."
"Damn right," you reply, mirroring his grin. "Have a good rest of your day, Thor. And take care of yourself, please. We'd all like to see our leader back on his feet."
----
You made Thor's special request as well as a few extra barrels to spare. Mead needed about three months to age, but you had a few magic tricks in your hat. His cask would be more than ready by the time he came around again, and it would be just as incredible as if it had been aged ten times as long.
When Brunhilde came in to pay the invoice that night, she seemed pleased. "What did you say to our mighty leader? He was practically skipping when he came down to the docks for the rest of his supplies earlier. Did you jump him?"
"Hardly,” you replied, snickering. You took the payment that she handed you and gave her a copy of the invoice in return. “I promised to make him a batch of my father's special mead. That stuff could make even old Grumpy Ivan leap for joy."
"Ah, you misunderstand, my beautiful barmaid,” Brunhilde said, taking a seat at the bar. “This was not the skip of a man promised good alcohol. This was the skip of a man with an itch that needs scratching, if you catch my drift."
"I caught it, Hilde," you said. You wouldn't mind scratching that itch, if he asked. You wouldn't ask first, of course. Not your style. "I doubt the king is interested in the brewery owner, especially when he seems so down lately."
"No, you see, you're perfect actually. You smell like good ale and it seems that you can give him a little pep in his step. It's the beginning of something, my lady, I promise."
You laughed. "I do love your enthusiasm, Hilde. And thank you for my payment."
"Don't sell yourself short," Brunhilde sang, waving her hand as she left the building.
----
When Thor came in the next month, much to your surprise, he'd really attempted to put a little effort in. His beard was braided and his hair was freshly washed. He was wearing the same sweats and layers that he always wore now, but they were recently laundered as well. He seemed in good spirits, all things considered.
"Good morning, my lady!" Thor said, barging into your brewery with just the least bit of his former bluster. "I'm ready for my mead!"
You started, dropping the mug you were cleaning onto the table. The metal tankard rang hollow in the empty brewery, like a small bell.
"I see that, Thor," you replied, smiling. "Good morning to you, too. You seem to be feeling well."
"And why shouldn't I be feeling well?" Thor asked, leaning against the bar. His elbows hit the table and he rested his chin in his hands as he looked up at you. He seemed unusually clear-headed and his eyes weren't bloodshot. "'Tis a good day! My favorite day of the month, in fact! I get to come down here and see you."
"You mean you get to come down and get your supplies."
"Ah, the supplies are the motivation for the trip, but you are the most wonderful bonus,” Thor said, winking.
You laughed. "Such flattery! Who do you think you are, exactly?"
"Why, the king, my lady! And your biggest fan!"
"My best customer," you corrected.
You broke open one of his casks of mead - one of the reserve ones you'd saved for yourself or the odd person who requested it. You'd had several requests lately for it to be made a regular drink in the tavern since Brunhilde had wandered in a month ago. You assumed she'd told everyone you’d made it, and now the older men wanted something strong and nostalgic. You handed a tankard to Thor who, instead of downing it in one fell swoop, sat down at the bar and sipped it slowly.
You filled your own tankard and sat down across the bar from him. How strange, you thought, to be sitting across from him with such familiarity. The two sons of the royal family, Thor and Loki, had always been kept at arms' length away from everyone (though they hadn't much abided by that) ever since you'd been young. Your family had been allowed to wander the palace pretty freely since they fulfilled such an important role in Asgard (making the king’s beer), but you'd never done so. It was such a hassle to navigate the palace that it wasn't worth the effort. 
"This is as fantastic as I remember," Thor said, giving a heavy sigh. "We always broke open a barrel when we came back from a great battle."
"And we always kept a special store of it for you," you replied. You didn't like to brag, but you felt like you'd really outdone yourself this time. The drink was sweet and smooth; the heavy honey flavor soothed something deep within you that you couldn't quite name.
"How things have changed," he said, staring down into his tankard.
"Indeed." You reached forward and, in an uncharacteristically bold move, took his hand. He squeezed yours gently in return and smoothed his thumb over the back of your hand. "But it will get better."
"Sometimes I do not think so."
"It will, with a little faith and motivation."
Thor drained the rest of his tankard and handed it back to you. You tossed it in the washbasin and gave it a good scrub. As you worked, you noticed that he seemed to be on the verge of saying something, but thought the better of it each time he considered it. You waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts, though considering his behavior so far, you had an inkling of what he may have been thinking of asking.
"Perhaps I'm being presumptuous," Thor started, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "But I would very much enjoy the pleasure of your company today, my lady."
Ah, there it was. Well, you weren’t going to say no to that. It was something that he seemed to need, and being that it had been quite a while for you, it was something that you needed as well.
"And where shall we go? Your cottage or mine?" you teased, only half-believing that he'd outright asked you.
"Yours. Mine is not- well, you can imagine what mine looks like," he said.
"Well, I've got nowhere to be today. Shall we be off?"
“We shall.”
You gathered your coat and the keys to the brewery, locking up as quickly as you could. Once you’d finished locking up, you led him through the back of the brewery, past the casks of ale and beer, to the back down and into the cobblestone street.
Thor took your hand and placed it in the crook of his arm, walking slowly so that you could keep pace. He was nearly a head taller than you, his stature quite imposing compared to yours, and he walked with a speed that you couldn’t match.
"If you had told me years ago that one of the princes would ask me to bed, I never would have believed you," you said as you walked, staring up at him. Really, the braided beard was such a fantastic look on him.
"What's not to believe?" Thor asked. His hand covered yours, keeping you close to his side. "I've always thought well of you. Had I ever seen you at the palace, I most certainly would have before now."
"Good to know. I only went to the palace when I had to. Too many halls to navigate, and I'm not so good with directions."
"Neither am I, truth be told, Thor said. “Loki would usually come find me if I found myself turned around in some back hallway. After he led me there in the first place, of course."
"Of course," you laughed, stopping at your cottage. It was small and clean, if a little bare. You hadn't had much time to decorate with trying to get the brewery going from scratch the past two years. That had been a nightmare, and you were just grateful to have a cozy bed and a fire at night. "Here we are."
"Here we are," he mirrored, holding open the door for you. "After you, my lady."
You led him inside and pulled him into your tiny bedroom. You'd invested in a fairly sizable bed, which served to make the room look even smaller. But there was plenty of room for the two of you.
Thor sat down on the edge of your bed and pulled you into his lap. "If you want me to stop at any point-"
“I doubt I will ask you to stop, but I will certainly tell you otherwise."
Thor wasted no time in pulling your soft leather-and-wool tunic up over your head, tossing it into a corner. You cringed a little because that was your favorite tunic, but you didn't mention it. Kind of a mood-ruiner when Thor's teeth were already tugging at your nipples.
You whined his name, scrambling to get his many layers up over his head. He finally decided to give you a hand and tossed every single thermal into the corner with your nice tunic. You were left with a half-naked Thor, and honestly, that was really all you needed. 
He picked you up and put you on your back at the head of the bed, tugging down your pants and underwear until you were completely naked for him. (And yes, you cringed again when he unceremoniously tossed your pants into the corner.) He settled himself between your legs, elbows on the bed underneath your knees, and set to work nipping at your waist. 
You squeezed his shoulders between your knees as his tongue settled on your clit. He looked like he'd be soft with the newly-acquired physique, but that couldn't be further from the truth. He was still hard as a rock, as strongmen tended to be. He was thick and sturdy like a real Viking, like the old gods in the stories your grandfather had told you many years ago. And of course, that very thought had you dripping on the sheets faster than Thor's tongue could really get hold of you.
He licked the line of your clit, softly running the tips of his fingers along your cunt. You fisted his hair in your hands, careful not to pull and on the verge of failing spectacularly at that. He slipped a finger in, then another, pumping his wrist carefully and timing each thrust of his fingers to the thrust of his tongue.
And, quite abruptly, he stopped.
You whined his name impatiently and sat straight up on the bed, wanting an explanation. He beat you to it.
"I need you to do something for me," Thor said, his hands resting on your hips. "Have you ever sat on someone's face?"
You blushed, although you couldn't imagine why. You were butt naked, whining his name like he was killing you (and he still had his pants on) - no reason to be embarrassed at this point. "You mean intentionally? Without crushing their skull?"
Thor laughed, a rumbling noise deep in his throat that made your cunt throb again. "Yes, intentionally. I want you to ride my face."
"As long as you take your damn pants off so I can sit on your dick afterwards."
"Done," he replied, complying with your request. You couldn't twist around to look down in time to watch him, but you'd get to enjoy it shortly. He settled on his back, pulling you carefully on top of him. "Now, grab the headboard and just keep going. I'll take care of the rest."
You lowered yourself down as gently as possible, until his tongue slid down along your clit again. You shivered, trying not to bear down on his face (didn't want to actually hurt him). Your legs were already shaking as you worked yourself down on his fingers, on his tongue, until you were just on the edge of release. 
Thor grabbed your hips and guided you down to his lap again, sitting up so that you were chest to chest. He leaned back against the headboard, spreading his legs and holding you up at the tops of his thighs until you were comfortable. You grabbed the base of his cock - fuck, you were gonna be sore after this - and brushed the tip of his cock against your entrance. You lowered yourself down as far as you could go, holding onto his shoulders for leverage. 
He tangled his fingers in your hair, claiming your mouth in a kiss. He groaned, moaning your name against his lips as you rocked your hips against his. "That's it, that's perfect."
You grabbed his hips and yeah, not even the least bit soft. That was all still muscle. "You like that?"
"Fuck - yes," he breathed, thrusting up into you. He sucked at the hollow of your throat, grabbing your ass, your breasts, your hips - whatever he could reach. He pulled you down on top of him, almost lifting you up out of his lap so that he could do it again and again.
You kissed him again, hands cupping his face. "I'm so close, right there-"
"Come for me, love," Thor said, pulling you in close to his chest. 
You rocked your hips against his, letting the slow burn build up in your belly until you couldn't fight it any longer. Release slammed through you, shaking your thighs and forcing your cunt to clench down on his cock. He moaned against your mouth again, lifting you up off of him so that he came across his own stomach.
You sat back in his lap, watching him come down from his release as you came down from yours. He panted, leaning his head back against the headboard.
"Hope you're not to tired after that," you said, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "We do have all day."
"Oh, I'm yours as often as you'll have me," Thor replied, sliding his hands along your back.
----
Once Thor had left for the night, you headed back up to the brewery. Inside, you found Brunhilde waiting for you so that she could give you your payment for Thor's supplies. No doubt she’d picked the lock to the front door - she’d done it often enough before. She'd also found the opened store of mead and poured herself a glass.
"And just where have you been all day?" Brunhilde asked, a sly smile stretching her full lips. "Hope you don't mind, I helped myself and added on to your payment. This stuff is gold, by the way."
You grinned, taking your money from her. "I took the day off."
"And Thor has been mysteriously missing all day himself," Brunhilde replied, sipping at her drink. "Curiouser and curiouser. You have a pep in your step that I've never seen before."
"Well, if you call a limp 'pep,' that's on you."
"I hope you make it a regular thing," Brunhilde said. "You look like you finally enjoyed yourself for once. And cheered our beloved king up in the process."
"It was lovely, Hilde."
"Yes, that limp gave it away."
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drearytweddiafawnx · 4 years ago
Text
A letter to myself from 2030.
Hey Rim ! Wanna hug ?
It's me ......actually it's you from 2030.l know you've been dreaming of me . So i thought i should write you a letter. I was reading through all my old letters and braindump journals .It made me rethink about my past thoughts and write to you about them
The time you are in and the time I'm writing to you are both important moments of our life .
The year 2030 is the time when we are leading the world and 2020 is the time when we just started our journey. After the covid crisis days were not so good as you've already imagined. But your 'silly "plans helped the people who needed help . Heres a note from one of your writings.
10.06.20
To all the teens who'll be leading the world in upcoming days .look at our future main concerns 
*stoping global warming 
*giving freedom toall (everyone who has a life ,freedom of speech, lifestyle and everything )
*completing the necessary needs 
*fighting future disasters sensebly 
*solving problems unitedly .
*empowering huminity and human knowledge 
*being a good global citizen .
We have to be the hero of the next 
generation. 
Our ideas are the root of our life . Trying to understand the future problems and living in your future is
not bad . You like to do things keeping their future in mind . You wanted to build an education system where you create open minded people . 
I would love to talk about your ideas 
during the covid crisis like street farming ,street education and practical learning . I hope you remember this journal pages ....
16.04.20 
Practical learning - giving assignments and research topics during the covid crisis and after the crisis showing the research and assessments .Exams will be taken through activities and practicaly while kids learn something new while giving exams .
And this will be area based .
Like to a remote village maybe clean water is a big issue .
Childrens from that village will work on it .
8.05.20
Street education - using street billboards and ad boards to teach street children and passerby .
Using fun animation and video we can teach them general knowledge and make people aware of certain topics like childmarriege and dowry .
11.06.20
Street farming - using the footover bridges and street dividers to produce free and safe food for the poor ,begger and street people .
So that they can freely eat and cook .
It will also be beneficial for all the natives living there .
Most of your ideas were based on underdeveloped coutries . And I'm really looking forward to your both websites that you are working on . learning and asking questions about anything in their mother tongue gives kids an opportunity to write and ask with freedom and you wanted to make begging a respectful profession .giving a home and shelter . While volunteers will help them and take care of them.
People will be able to donate to their personal account using your website .
Some can get employed too. Nice ideas Rim .
I know its the first pride month you are celebrating and currently you are saving money for building an free open school for poor ,street children and everyone who is curious to learn 
But the best thing you learned these days was respecting everyone and trying to keep your feet on their shoes to understand their pain and sufferings . 
But the thing you were thinking about on those days was global warming . All of my life I wanted freedom and you wanted to free all animals giving all plants a chance to grow freely even if they were not helpful . Humans are soo selfish that they only spare those lives which benefit them somehow .
To you the new normal was not mask, gloves and social distancing ,you wanted the new normal to let everyone live ,everyone who has a life , give mother nature a chance to heal herself . 
One day you wrote that "The covid crisis has taught all of us equally at a time that how we all are connected even if we are separated and how we depend on each other and we should 
admire everyone and everything.
If nature is infected nature will cure herself too. Everything is important and being here to teach us something . Even the poisons from the earth has a healing power to save lifes .
Mother nature is teaching us to be humble , respectful to every element of the earth and give equal importance as we have over here .
Just give them the chance to be , to live , breath freely , to learn and seek and teach us . I don't think humans has the right to make laws and specialy making their own " natures law ".
So many wonders got lost before finding them and will never return only because of our foolishness .
Only because they are not helpful they should die , who are we to set this cruel rule ? 
Even humans are cruel to other humans . We are treating like enemies more than mother natures childrens . because we are unaware and selfish. Peoples are different because their mindsets and that's the beauty of our nature .There is no one like us and everyone is unique and connecting different perspectives can bring us a change . Physical boundries will be nothing in front of our inner connection . We should build huminity towards humans and all living matters and let everyone bloom in their own light , energy and power to prove everyones inner beauty is in their heart .Knowledge is our power the future is in our hand and we will surely make a change !"
Well dear Rim ,
In your imaginary world you knew that one day the earth will be healed and mother earth didnt let you go. Our c mkther earth is niow healed and healing herself everyday .
On 2030 some fun things happened like reuseable straws and paper clothes became trend people were buying them . We don't cut trees to make furnitures . We are doing upcycling and using alternative options .All animals are freed now only reliable universities has the right to research on animals without keeping them caged.There are some animals getting internet famouse everyday . We have equality and balance in our education any one can learn from anywhere anytime. Education is costfree now and age is just a number . All cuntries are united. There is no fight or war .No one breaks the rule ordoes crime intentionally.
Everyone is respected here no matter what their gender ,age or status is .We are building sustainable houses for everyone using alternative ways and on this process nature is not pollouted. Everyone is earning and
no one is staying unemployed. All professions are equally admired .Self employed people are increasing day by day . Over here we don't have bad people and they are being actually educated . Teaching us life skills while making our minds open and creative . Education is costfree and we are learning to get mastery on them.
In some countries overpopulation was a massive problem but now its not and we also controling our population by supporting one child . What ever that child might be , a life is always special. We have wonderful botanical gardens and reserved seed banks which has so many rare seeds . Internet is now the most safe place and resourcefull place 
All the waste is recycled and used as energy .
Spacewaste and e waste are sorted too. 
Big countries are helping small countries and now we all are equal and same no big or small.
Mills and factories use green energy to produce theur work and they dont throw waste in the water or soil .
All professions are equally admired and learning and education is free 
Now we have a no meat day in every month of the year and it is celebrated the whole world wide.
People now do their chores by themselves and donate their belongings which they no longer need ,no one extra stuff to clutter their home .
Everyone has a place to live a sweet home and a shelter and we dont need fill rivers or cut mountains or clean 
forests to build home . Refugees are loved and cared too ,many countries are helping them to survive .
We all truely have a home to live.
There is no cage no zoo but we have virtual zoo and world tour .
Many aninals got mentally sick staying in cage for a long time ,now they allare under good treatment .
keeping pets in cage is also agnist law .You will see " No entry" billboaard in front of many forests and importaant places. Government is helping people when they need . The quantity of doing crime is very less now 
There is no injustice . laws are very strict and mandatory. We have reliable snd trustworthy judiciary. I should say there is very less pending cases .
Everyone is working hard to spread positivity .
Government is really concerned about the happinesss of their citizens . People give mental health a big priority. Government encourages to take selftime and selfcare .
We can get safe and healthy food in a very cheap price .
We understand others feelings and respect them .
We use green energies now .
Other energy sources which we used before is now where they belong ,
to the nature . We are researching very hard on various topics nowdays to seek in the beauty and mystery of mother nature .
Our biodiversity is now very increased .
Our homes can now deal with earthquakes and other disasters .
We've build durable dams to stop getting fload and bush fires are also controlled.
We no more make cigarettes or tobacco products. 
No one smokes not even vehicles ,mills and factories. No human trafficking and less fishing .
Our youth is so positive nowdays . Youth exchange programmes are increased too . We understand how important staying globally connected is .
Each of the countries has a special bugdet and plan to deal with future diseases and disasters .
We are now shareing our love .working hand in hand .
There us no negetivity and no hatred agnist anyone .
Everyone gets to drink clean water and eat fresh safe food.
We don't 
have sewage problems nowdays .
Everything is by design and mother natures order . We dont want to harm our nature and so do our mother nature . 
Earth has now chaged a lot we have wonderful seasons and climate .
Whereever I look I see greenery and beauty ,love and peace .
Everyone is working hard to make our world a better place .
We only have one earth and we love her so much , we don't want to leave her or make her unhappy or sick .
We are working thinking about our future and having a sustainable world 
You would not believe ! my eyes are now filled with soothing greenery 
Pond with ducks ,plants, butterflies bees ,dragonflies , grasshoppers everywhere with farmers and villegers .
And there is no pollution , no dirt 
literally zero waste . Everything is recycled reuse reduced and upcycled .
We have mighty leaders reliable law and trustworthy government .
At this time the world is so beautiful , everyones heart is so beautiful .its the happiest world ever .
I know its still like a dream to you .
But if i say its true you would ask me who did it ? And my answers is us , all of us everyone unitedly . One by one from various countries bright minds and leaders came up and worked for the change .
You everything you wanted to be. I'm nothing different from you .
I am you and you are still in me. 
On this world of 2030 .
Im compltetinng all the dreams that a teenager saw on her 16's. Teacher and connecting with hearts through internet .helping the poor and helpless ,working with the UN , studying in Japan and doing a research .
While your reading even if 
you believe in my words the law of attraction will make it true because youve already started working on it .
I wrote this letter for a competition but never end up giving it to someone or somewhere because it became special.
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isitgintimeyet · 6 years ago
Text
The Ties That Bind
Thanks for all your feedback on the first chapter. I loved reading it all! I hope you enjoy the second chapter.
Once again thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge for the beta
Chapter 2 : A Recreational Activity (well, a few)
The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.  -Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
Jamie groaned and hoped that the banging inside his head would stop soon. This was the problem with drinking wine. Generally Jamie tried to steer clear of ‘grape’ and stick to ‘grain’. However, last night, he had supped copious quantities of both and now was suffering the consequences. He stretched his hand out hoping to find a glass of water and possibly even two aspirins left on the bedside table by his more responsible alter ego yesterday. There they were. Gratefully, he sank back onto the pillows and waited for them to do their work.  
Parts of his alcohol-induced dreams came back to him… miles and miles of hotel corridors and he was chasing, chasing... a woman with the most gorgeous legs he had ever seen. He kept chasing her, but she wouldn’t stop and she wouldn’t turn round. A flash of wild dark curls and…
The banging in his head seemed to be louder now. “Unca,” a cross little voice added to the general cacophony. “Unca, get up now. Mam says now. ‘Tis beckfast and then ‘wimmin’. Mam says.”
Jamie forced himself out of bed. Fastening the towelling bath robe, he opened his door. His little nephew rushed past him and started jumping on the bed. Jenny stood in the doorway, her eyes darting all round the room.
“I go ‘wimmin’ with ye, Unca, wiv Spideyman shorts. What ye shorts, Unca?”
Jamie sighed and looked at his sister. “She’s no’ here. She didna stay. Nothing happened.” He grabbed Wee Jamie round his middle, lifting him high up in the air. “And who said I would take ye swimmin’, ye wee fishie?”
“Mam said so, she did.”
Jamie gently set his nephew on his feet. “Aye, well, yer mam makes an awfa’ lot o’ decisions fer the men in this family. But I guess I canna refuse, no’ if I ken what’s good fer me.”
**************
Claire lay on one of the day beds next to the swimming pool and wiggled her toes, admiring the newly applied scarlet polish. She set aside the copy of Hello! she had been skimming through and turned to Geillis.
“This was such a good idea of yours, G. Total battery recharge today… and we’ve even had the whole pool to ourselves. I don’t reckon we’ll be seeing any of that wedding party any time soon. Not if last night was anything to go by.”
“I am rather full of brilliant ideas,” Geillis agreed. “Although I feel we may have missed an opportunity last night. So many men...”
“... And no doubt so many wives and girlfriends!” Claire interrupted.
“Och, well,” Geillis dismissed Claire’s interruption. “Guess we’ll never know.”
“Anyway, so I’ve a body wrap, then hot stone massage in twenty minutes. I’m going to head into the sauna for ten minutes first. You coming?”
“Aye, may as weel. I don’t reckon there’ll be anything worth hangin’ round here fer today.” Geillis gathered up her belongings and followed Claire into the sauna.
**************
Jamie sat in the male changing room, blowing up his nephew’s armbands (Spider-Man, obviously a theme here) while Wee Jamie hopped excitedly from foot to foot.
“Now, afore we go in the pool, are ye sure you dinna need a wee? Ye ken what I told ye, as how if ye wee in the pool, the water turns bright blue?”
“Nah, Unca, c’mon now. Wanna go ‘wimmin’.” The little lad pulled his armbands up, grabbed Jamie’s hand and headed for the door. “C’mon, c’mon.” He paused and stared intently at his uncle. “Ye no Spideyman shorts?”
Jamie looked down at his blue checked board shorts and tried to look sad about this. “Sorry lad, I’m too big fer such a fine pair.”
As they entered the pool area together, Jamie looked around. It was totally deserted, which, Jamie thought, was hardly surprising based on the amount of alcohol that had been consumed the day before. An abandoned magazine lay on one of the day beds.
Wee Jamie pointed to a small passage way on the other side of the pool. “What’s ‘at?”
“Ah, nothing for ye. Just the sauna... it’s awfa hot and no’ fer children and the girls’ changing room is down there too. That’s definitely no’ fer us lads, eh?”
Following Jenny’s instructions to “wear the lad out, we want him tae sleep in the car going home,” Jamie stayed in the pool, playing with his nephew until he noticed the lad’s eyelids start to droop. He scooped him up and carried him back to the changing room, intending to just wrap him in a towel and leave the tricky drying and dressing to Jenny.
Wee Jamie held tightly to his uncle’s neck. “You fib, Unca. Ye did. I wee’d and I wee’d but no blue.”
Jamie chuckled. God, he loved this little lad something fierce and maybe someday, God willing...
**************
Claire picked up the two whiskies from the bar and made her way to the table where Geillis was sitting. The pub was quite empty at the moment, just a handful of people, like them, having a quick drink after work before heading home.
Geillis looked Claire up and down appraisingly. “Ye ken I love ye, Claire, but could you no’ wear something a bit, weel, more alluring when we’re out?”
Claire gazed down at her old jeans and plain black tee shirt. “G, I’ve been on my feet in theatre for the past 8 hours. I’m so knackered, you’re lucky I managed to change out of my scrubs and into this! Besides, however can I compete with your alllllluuure?”  She drawled the last word out jokingly. “Maybe you have the allure for both of us? I can be your duff.”
Geillis raised a quizzical eyebrow.  
“Designated ugly fat friend.” Claire explained with a smile. “According to the movie, every friendship group has one. You and me, we’re a friendship group, ergo, I must be it.”
“Claire, ye may be many things but fat or ugly never.” Geillis said, “Yer hair’s a wee bit wild, mind. Do ye no’ fancy a Brazilian blow dry?” She ran her fingers over her sleek strawberry blonde locks.
“And here’s me thinking a ‘brazilian’ was about a different part of my anatomy altogether!”
Geillis smiled, then a serious expression crept over her face. “But, Claire, ye dinna think ye’re fat or ugly really, do ye?”
Claire stared at the beer mat on the table, her fingers picking at it, ripping it into tiny shreds of paper. She really thought she’d outgrown that nervous habit.
“Well, no, but, it’s difficult to explain. Frank...” She could hear Geillis tutting at the mention of his name. “Frank had certain… er, expectations of how I should be. How I should behave, how I should look. The disapproval on his face if I took an extra roast potato, ordered dessert, poured myself another glass of wine. There was always someone younger, more self-controlled, thinner. So, for a while I tried to become the person he wanted me to be. I tried to see myself through his eyes and I saw the fat arse, the lack of control, the not-really good enough...”
Geillis leaned closer and gently placed her hand on Claire’s. “Thank God ye got out of there. That wasna a healthy place tae be, Claire. Ye know ye’re worth a lot more than that.”
“I know. And I am joking about that duff business but occasionally, old habits are hard to break. That’s why I’m not after a serious relationship. I’m not sure I’m ready to let someone see me as I really am.”
“But a fling will do ye no harm at all. It will do ye the world of good, let ye see how another man treats ye. In fact, we need a list. A checklist. When ye’re in theatre, ye dinna start cuttin’ till ye know everything is in place, all the boxes are ticked. So we make a list of what ye want and ye dinna start, er, flingin’ till a man ticks all the boxes.”
Claire finally put the mangled beer mat down. “A list, really?”
“Aye, it’s scientific, ye ken.” Geillis picked up her bag and rooted around for a piece of paper. Finding an unused paper napkin, she smoothed it flat on the table, extracted a pen from the depths of her bag and sat poised ready to write. “Ok. Point one…” She scribbled something down quickly.
“Come on, Let me read it.” Claire laughed, turning the napkin round. “Must look good in, and out of, a kilt. G, you have a one-track mind.”
“Och, it’s a fling we’re talking about, ye only need one track, I reckon. So, what about point two?”
“Well, I may as well play along. Point two must be no complications.”
Geillis obligingly wrote that down. “Next point. Enjoys a drink. Likes to let his hair down.”
Claire took the pen from her friend and added another line. Geillis read it upside down. “Really, it’s a fling ye’re after. Ye’re tellin’ me if they dinna like the X-Files, that’s it? Is that a deal breaker?”
“What can I say? The heart wants what the heart wants.”
“Fine, but I’m adding this one then. Fancies ye as ye are. No changing ye.”
The pub was starting to fill up. Most commuters had already made their way home, to be replaced by those heading out for the evening, coming into the pub for a quick drink before their evening plans properly began. Even on a drizzly Thursday evening, it was getting to be standing room only. Claire noticed several people eyeing their table enviously. She drained her whisky glass and stood up.
“I think that’s me done for this evening. Any more and I’ll have to be put to bed right here.  I’ll just pop to the loo and meet you outside, G.”
As Claire crossed the room to the toilets, Geillis started to gather her stuff together to leave.
Immediately a woman rushed to the table, plonked herself in one chair, and stuffed her bag on the other chair. She eyed Geillis, willing her to hurry up and be on her way. Geillis ignored her and continued rifling through her bag, her movements deliberately slowing. Eventually, Geillis decided she’d had enough of the game, turned away and walked to the exit.
**************
Geneva caught Jamie’s eye as he moved away from the bar, drinks in hand, and pointed to the seats she had found for them. He sat down, taking a deep slug of his whisky as he put Geneva’s vodka, lime and soda on the table next to a tatty old napkin.  
“Someone’s shopping list, no doubt.” Geneva dismissed it with a wave of her hand as Jamie picked it up and carried on telling Jamie about the difficulties in trying to find the correct colour for a new bedroom throw. “...Not really a teal, but not quite a cerulean colour either…”
Jamie knew his role in this. It was just to nod and murmur appreciatively at appropriate points in the story. That gave him time to think… unfortunately. Thinking made him realise that Jenny had been right three weeks ago at the wedding. Geneva was not the one, he didn’t need to try again just to see. And she did talk utter shite.
He groaned, which Geneva seemed to take as indication of his deep interest in her tale of home furnishing trials and tribulations. He should never have slept with her. He hadn’t intended to but last night, as the blood left his brain and migrated south, he had lost the capacity for rational, coherent thought and had followed his baser instincts. Which had been a very bad idea.
Jamie glanced at the napkin he was still holding. Straightening it between his fingers, he began to read. A woman with long strawberry blonde locks suddenly leaned over and gently took the napkin from his fingers.  
“Thanks, it’s fer scientific research, ye ken.”  
He watched as she walked to the door, to her waiting friend. Her friend with the long shapely denim clad legs and mad curly hair and her face, so full of life with sparkling eyes he longed to dive right into.
“What an odd thing to want.” Geneva interrupted his contemplation. “That couldn’t have been scientific research. On a used napkin. Some people are just strange.”
Jamie felt his breath catch in his throat. Jenny had been right - he recognised it. What to do now?
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axispheydra · 5 years ago
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Prompt 29 - Fitting
“Mornin’ Orara!” came G’wahnako’s chipper voice. “Here to see Keltwyb?”
“Aye,” she answered, nodding. “I was in the area, so I figured I’d drop by.”
“Ah, c’mon lass, you know somethin’ like this takes time. ‘Specially considerin’ the designs you an’ Keltwyb came up with. Intricacy ain’t her strong point, you know. And I hear you had to order some parts from the Weaver’s Guild back in Ul’dah!”
Orara couldn’t help but flush a little. “Well, I wanted to make sure everything was high quality-”
“An’ you got the smitties workin’ for you too!” she leaned over the counter, ears twitching. “One of ‘em, anyways. Did your old armor really get banged up so bad that y’needed a whole new set? Thought we coulda fixed that.”
“Well, maybe, but I was thinking it was just time for a chance of pace.”
“Real expensive change, if you ask me.”
“I’ve been saving for it.” Ever since she came to Limsa, it had always been in the back of her mind. Now she actually had a reason to do it.
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The Armorer's Guild receptionist was as overbearing as always, and Orara could only handle so much before she went looking for her armor-smith of choice. She found Keltwyb at one of the guild’s workbenches, looking over a Lalafell-sized bracer. “Ah, Orara!” she said, smiling at her approach. “Just the lass I wanted to see. Here, try this on.”
Orara obediently held out her hand while Keltwyb slipped the armor on her. “Not too bad,” she murmured. “Looks about right to me. Should be okay with the buckles.”
“It’s good to see you too,” said Orara. 
“Ain’t got much time for social calls,” said Keltwyb. “Nothin’ personal, lass. Just wanna make sure yer gettin’ what you paid for.”
Orara smirked. “Why, should I be worried?”
“Not about the quality of the armor. About the quantity, maybe...” Keltwyb made a face as she began to hammer on the bracer. “Seems like a step down from that Sultansworn gear you had before.”
“Cloth armor works fine too,” said Orara, shrugging. Her new armor covered all the vital pieces of her body with steel, but she had opted for more ornate cloth for the rest. She just hadn’t been needing the bulky metal when most people had a hard time hitting her anyways. She was hoping being a little lighter would work to her advantage.
“Well, you’re the paladin. I get paid either way, but it don’t look too great for me if my customers end up dead. So at least try not to get in over yer head too much, you hear me?”
“No promises.”
“Figured I’d at least ask.” Keltwyb gestured over her shoulder towards a crate at the foot of her workbench. “Reminds me, yer shipment from Ul’dah came in. Took a lot at it earlier, it’s nice stuff. Might wanna make sure they got yer measurements right, though.”
It was very nice, thought Orara as she sifted through the crate’s contents. The overcoat was a padded white, detailed in shining brass, with just a hint of red to brighten it. The included shawl and sash were the same red, a nice departure form the blues of the Sultansworn.
“How does it look?” she said, waving to Keltwyb.
Keltwyb pulled off her goggles, staring down at her with a small smile. “I had my doubts, but seein’ it on you... it really suits you, Orara. But it’ll look even better when all this armor is done.”
“Well, I won’t keep you any longer, then.”
“Make sure you leave the cloth,” said Keltwyb, replacing the goggles on her face. “Gotta make sure it all lines up. And the color’s gotta match, of course.”
“Of course,” echoed Orara. She pulled the clothes off and left them at the Guild, waving to Keltwyb as she left.
She really had no idea how long making a set of armor actually took, and it showed. She needed something new after her fight with Ganzeidin, but only now, two moons later, was everything actually taking shape.
As she stepped outside into the bright La Noscean sun, Orara thought about how she’d only come here to get as far away from Thanalan as she could. In only a moon, so much had happened, but now two months past that, everything had settled down and Orara found herself feeling relaxed for the first time in a long time.
On cue, her linkpearl chimed in her ear. “Orara, you still out and about?” came Hastswys’ voice.
“I’m finishing up, so I’ll be there soon.”
“You better! Can’t keep a seat empty at the Drownin’ Wench for long, you know.”
“I know. I’m on my way now, Hastswys.”
The woman chuckled on the other side of the line. “Don’t keep me waitin’ long, love.”
Orara smiled, despite how hard she tried to keep it from showing. “I won’t. See you soon.”
As the communication ended, Orara looked towards the Drowning Wench,built into the bright white stone pillars of Limsa Lominsa. This island had been a place of many firsts for her, she realized. Not all of them were bad.
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alex-baebae · 5 years ago
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Immaculate
Chapter 23
TOP's point of view
Gardening was good for me, it relaxed me a lot. I've always liked plants since I was in the training, there they taught us how to take care of many kinds of plants. When I was at that small apartment 'she' didn't have any.
One day I found one dumped in the streets, we were doing the shopping. I took it to her house without getting caught.  
I took care of it, while I did the housework, I put the very small cactus in the rays of the sun, then I gave it a little quantity of water when necessary and I observed it much time when I finished. I tried to finish as soon as possible, so I could be near to the plant more time. I also told it how pretty it was, perhaps it was something I would like to be told.  
Before ‘she' returned home I hid it in the closet I used to sleep in. Whenever I felt bad, I looked at the iron shelf where I put the cactus. Even if it was at night and the closet was not well illuminated, looking at the cactus silhouette made me felt better. I cried less times the week I took care of it.
However, one day she decided to 'check' my things as if I was hiding something, maybe she thought I had stolen her money. When she was high, she used to do stupid stuff as lose her job, her money, her keys... Well, I hadn't stolen anything but, she found the little cactus "what the f*cking h*ll is this sh*t, Daniel?" She called me furious "a plant" I answered looking down "I know is a f*cking plant, do you think I am stupid?" She was pretty angry 'why did you say it' I regretted my words instantaneously.
"Why did you bring it?" She asked, I didn't want to respond so I keep looking down “this is my house, you have to follow the rules" she yelled at me "you really are a stupid robot" she grabbed my hair, I moaned due to the pain 'she' hit my belly with her knee I fell over of course. I was not able to stood up, I hated myself even more, I was so weak.
I was on my knees over the floor trying to stood up, one kick, another one. The third kick was the hardest I was not able to endure the impact, I vomited "f*ck! look at the mess you made!" the little quantity of food I ate at that morning was then wasted over the floor.  
She shoved me with his foot, I was laying down in fetal position "sh*t" she put her boot on my cheek to move my face a little "all your face is covered" she commented "you vomited too hard that it came out of your nose as well” she laughed making fun of me "I hope you have understood that you have to follow rules" she kicked my tummy five times again, I vomited again this time something that seemed to be saliva. Feeling the liquid in my nose was terrible "clean this" she said and stepped on my little cactus until it became dust ‘sorry’ I thought looking to the dead plant.
I tried to stood up again, I couldn't my legs quivered "you little piece of sh*t, look you can't even move" she laughed "I'll help you" she pulled me up quickly I was dizzy, she punched my belly hard again this time with her fist, I shouted. Tears of pain fell over my vomit, I didn’t fall again due to she was still grabbing my shirt. ‘She’ was obsessed with my belly I still couldn't find out why "don't puke again" she yelled.
'It's over it's over' I thought again and again, it wasn’t.  
“Come here” she grabbed my neck and put me under the shower, I was sat down, I still couldn’t stood up by myself “such a mess” she grabbed my neck forcing me to look at her “you look like a scared little rat, when you are about to smash it” she hit the wall near to my face, I shivered looking at her hand and then I looked to her, she laughed. I thought she was going to use the baseball bat again, fear was permeating my bowels.
Suddenly water was splashing my face, I felt I was drowning, her grab was tight. She liked to choke me until my vision blurred. She rarely did it as a punishment, she preferred to do it when we had sex or as a way to release her tension.  
It stopped, I was on my knees, I coughed many times. She let the cold water fell all over my body “mhm” I moaned softly, the sensation was the worst “wash yourself, and clean up when you finish”.
That day I also met ____, I was waiting for a good opportunity to scape. I had tried to do it before, she caught me, fortunately I could find a good excuse “I’m taking out the trash” that day I only got a slap. But what could she had done if I had not said those words?  
When she broke my toes, I wanted to run away too. But I was not even able to walk, run was impossible. She was going to catch me and punish me even harder.
When I figured out, I was in ___’s apartment I was worried. ____ could be a bad person as 'she', the next days I kept thinking the same. So, I did my best to not drive her crazy, however, in no time she showed me that not all the people were like that I had met.
____ has plants in her house but a machine did all the job, it gave them water, and special light if they needed it. All I did was looking at them and tell them beautiful words, once I tried to give them water but the machine scolded me. They had enough water and if I kept giving them water, they more they would die, that was what the machine told me. ____ also taught me how to pick the carrots she planted. I really liked the way she taught me many things, such as read, write, use the smartphone, she’s very patient.
...
The warm water, her warm body... It felt amazing, her head on my shoulder... I can't describe how good I was feeling with just words.
I closed my eyes softly as well, I was focused on every single breath she took, in the contact of each other skins.
I needed to feel her warm arms around me, so I moved and buried my face in her neck as I had been doing all that time, she put her arms around my shoulders as a result of my actions.
We didn't talked, but it was like at every single second we were saying to each other "I love you, I love you" through the warmth our of bodies.
The garden was full of light, she put many lamps for me, so I could see the garden at night too. It was raining, that time was simply lovely.
-----------
If you are thinking about if I confessed to him well I didn’t, he did. It really shocked me, I had never thought it could be possible, you know... him being in love with me.
The sunset was going to be in no time "____" he suddenly called me. We were sat down on the couch after he exercised in his treadmill while I was reading a book looking for information for my thesis.
"____, you told me that I should tell you if I'm feeling weird or bad or... Well, I'd like to tell you this before but I just couldn't" he was very nervous of course "yes, please tell me" I really thought it was something bad happening, I was concerned "I- I'm falling for you" he hid his face looking to one side, I couldn't got it at first since he spoke so much quickly.  
A big smile appeared on my face "you don't have to look down!" I made him to look at my eyes "you are so brave, did you know it?" I hugged him the tightest my arms could.
"Don't you hate me?" He asked shy "of course no! I will never hate you" I separated from him to see his face, he was surprised too. It seemed he couldn’t believe what I was telling him "so you...?" He hesitated "I'm so in love with you, sweet angel". We were both happy, well that's what happens when your feelings are not rejected.
Soon the night was there... covering us with its moonlight "can I give you a kiss?" He asked me, we were hugging each other and kissing our faces, smelling each other scent through our cheeks. I knew what he meant, he meant a 'special kiss'.
"Of course, you can" I said, we were close enough to make it happen in less than a second, he closed his eyes and daintily kissed my lips, he stayed there for a moment. At the moment his lips touched mine I felt all his innocence, all his sincere love. It wrapped me as I shut my eyes... I had never felt something like that before.
He separated from me being a blushing mess, "can you do that again?" he looked at me surprised, even more blushed if that was possible "y-yes" he told me softly, he again closed his eyes, and did the same. It felt like a totally new experience again although it was a second kiss  'so beautiful...' I thought.
We were looking into each other’s eyes again, trying to understand it was real and happening then. "Can I do it?" He nodded smiling, I grabbed his hands caressing them a little, since the first kiss started, we hadn't had more contact with each other than our lips. So, first I kissed all his face, then I put his hands on my waist and I did the same with mine on his. Then I did the same as him, when I tried to move my lips on his he moaned and squirmed "sorry" I put my forehead on his. I knew it, he was scared, maybe he felt attacked.
All this time he had being raped it was normal to feel scared. "Wanna be alone?" he shook his head immediately, he rested his face on my shoulder hiding his face in my neck, one day he confessed that when he did so he felt protected by me, that's the reason he loved to do it.
That night was magical, I didn't want it to end. But at the same time, I wanted to experience new things with him, such as going to the park as a couple, to the cinema, to a dinner, to go for a walk, to cook with him...Well many things.
"Now we are..." He asked shy "lovers, a couple" I said while shutting my eyes again feeling his hands over my waist, and the fabric of his favorite white shirt on the palms of my hands "I'm your girlfriend" I spoke again "you are my sunshine" he responded "I'm yours" he added.
Well the next days we did the same activities, all that changed was we kissed each other on the lips many times. He made me laugh as always, he cooked for me, etcetera. He was getting better, not only his body but his heart too.
"So... You don't have to take more medicines" my aunt said clearly happy "congratulations, Seunghyun" she hugged him "thank you" he returned the hug "come here, family hug" my aunt told me, we hugged firmly "now, you just have to take care of yourself and if you feel strange or whatever just message me, right?" He nodded happily "I'll do it".
That evening Seughyun told me that an old lady asked him for information about us such as if we were married, and when did we move to that house. It concerned me, although she said she lived in the same neighborhood and there is many curious people, I was still panicked of someone taking him away from me... paranoia was still there, taking over my mind.
Good night! Good morning! IDK
keep fighting, I know you can do it!
Lots of pure love
Alex
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