#so it's hard to find a picture that 'looks like me' bcuz all the things that are Me aren't visible in anything ig

[mosspapi]

Trying to find literally any photo of myself that I think is tolerable for this self portrait assignment and there just. Are none. Either I hate my face significantly more than I thought I did or I'm just extremely unphotogenic. Probably both unfortunately. Rip me

[donnerpartyofone]

anon here who feels a great kindred spirit with you, maybe one day i'll have the guts to message not anonymously but frankly i really admire you and also struggle with the mortification of putting myself out there directly it may be one day but not today. ANYways. just saw your post re: the knee-jerk reaction of ppl to say something like "no! everyone is special (or beautiful/smart/talented/etc.) in their own way!" when you or i tries to acknowledge something that is real to us and that affects our day to day life. ive touched on stupidity before bcuz that is something that you've articulated better than i ever could but you were talking in that post a little more specifically abt physical beauty and i do think theres something to be said there for usamerican individualism. bcuz ive heard a lot that other countries/cultures find our particular brand of individualism to be weird to say the least. and i have, for most of my life (and this is true now), had a body that has been perceived as very desirable (eg. skinny, but still have tits and an ass, proportionally "good", etc.) but my face i have always known does not live up to beauty standards. bcuz of this, ppl closer have had a hard time understanding why i struggle so much with self esteem related to my looks and have often jumped to "but youre so pretty!" when i try to talk abt it. the outside of this is that i look like a child in the face and am often mistaken for a child even at 28. when i was an actual child, read: 18 and under, i received a LOT of attention from men, often men who were old enough to be my father. now that i am not a child that attention has waned, even though i've put on a little weight and my body is frankly more rocking than ever. BUT my face stays unchanged and i think i have so of an uncanny valley effect on ppl now. im bringing all this up bcuz this is another piece of kinship i feel with you: even before i started really paying attention to your posts discussing things, i really admired your selfies bcuz you and i actually look pretty similar, we have the same texture of hair and a similar face. but i have always felt that, from your pictures, you seem much more "in control" of your look than i do. i love your sense of style and i love how you do your brows so dark and dramatic but also seem to wear (as far as i can tell; im not much for makeup so correct me if im wrong) relatively little makeup otherwise. regardless of how you look, you project an image (as always, i know i can only know you parasocially so take this as much or as little as you want to) of someone who knows how they look and how they want to present themselves. i personally keep my head buzzed most of the time, and when i first started doing it, i did it bcuz it meant that no one had any excuse anymore. they had to look at my face and acknowledge my whole bare face with no distractions. it was a way of directing how i was perceived. now i dont know if thats what your brows are to you but ive always thought "wow, the dramatic brow is such a masterful use of makeup and direction". ive always seen the way you present yourself as seeming thoughtfully and well curated, and ive hoped for myself that i could someday present that way. as you can tell, i really admire you lol. hope im not being weird. im not really sure what my point is here but once again you articulated something well that i only have ruminated on abstractly.

i've also been thinking of you bcuz recently i ran up against the old "im too stupid to do this normal thing and now it may badly affect my life" situation: tried to put my tabs on my car and bcuz they were taped to the paper, they just broke into pieces on the tape when i tried to peel them away. so i just panicked and badly pieced them onto my license plate in a way im sure will seem infinitely more suspicious should a cop notice and decide to pull me over. my husband tells me tabs are supposed to do this as an anti theft measure, this is information i somehow missed in my 28 years of life and 12 years of being a legal driver. and if i get pulled over im not honestly sure i know where all my necessary paperwork is and will undoubtedly start shaking from anxiety which also looks suspicious when i try to hand a cop my id and my hand is shaking like a leaf. and i havent been pulled over yet but now every time i drive my car im going to be thinking abt it. god willing the distraction of fear of the unknown wont lead me to crashing my car but thatd be just the thing id do too. just wanted to share bcuz i think youre probably the only person who understands how it feels and bcuz hey, i want you to know youre not the only one out there muddling through life as a series of actions and unforeseen consequences, no matter how foreseen those consequences "shouldve been".

sorry for this long and rambling message. i have no two-ipas excuse this time as its morning here and im stone cold sober (the ipas were the voodoo juice ranger by the way) but you just make me think a lot, and again, i admire you very much. thanks as always and i hope that today is, if not easier on you, at least tolerable in terms of its challenges.

Dearest field correspondent, I wish I had a more thoughtful, interesting response to your kind message, but unfortunately you may receive instead le big rant. I am very low self-control lately and you're all going to have to pay for it! I'm thinking about my 85 year old father-in-law who is still razor sharp and full of energy, and so he is vividly aware of the nearness of death and very anxious about it. At his birthday dinner he started preaching to my husband and me about how you just have to live every minute you've been given to its fullest, and I often think about how he's right and he's wrong at the same time. Like it's patently correct that you should treasure whatever life you're allowed, but I think it would take a mental giant to really do that unless you're just basically a terrific person with few problems. If your personal chemistry makes you feel bad all the time due to circumstances or past trauma or plain old bad wiring, it's really hard to just consciously choose to feel good and be filled with gratitude and slurp all the delicious marrow out of your day. And what if your days don't have that much marrow to begin with? Of course if the Christmas ghosts came and snatched you up and confronted you with the preciousness of the life you are squandering, that you can still redeem if you try, that would change your tune, but it's hard to get that same kind of life-changing effect by just intellectually acknowledging the value of yourself and your time on earth.

(I'm gonna put a break here so I don't eat up everybody's dash, brb)

I was thinking about this, in a way, because somebody just asked me for a head shot for this project I'm on, so I was going through selfies to see if I had anything appropriate, and man was that depressing. Of course Tumblr was serving a jumble of new and old pictures, but some of them looked really good, even recent ones. And I know I wasn't enjoying myself at the time that I took them, any of them. I was just struggling to feel good about myself out of some perverse sense of obligation. I've always had the urge to express something with my appearance, to build up some kind of power and efficacy around what I could do with it, but I never felt anything like that happening. I mean for every selfie that was good enough to post, there are at least 100 I had to throw out that were ugly and embarrassing and more like "the real me". And I know just from living my life that I'm not attractive, my entire social experience does not reflect that of an attractive woman; even among the guys I dated, it's hard to weigh the two who actually liked me against the majority who were just indiscriminately looking for some pathetic specimen to torture and humiliate in order to feel good about themselves.

(And I guess this is TMI but who really cares, I'm sure no one is even reading this, but the irony is that I'm really great in bed. It's a fact. I just love sex and I'm not at all embarrassed about it and I have a knack for getting people comfortable really letting loose and getting to do what they truly want. I know this for sure not only from being in the room, but from detailed postscript testimonials from partners--even the ones who secretly hated me. And naturally that makes me feel pretty good, but it feels incomplete somehow, without the sense of control of my own appearance, without a satisfying relationship to my own body which disgusts me and is constantly causing me unmanageable problems both aesthetic and medical. Like I really want to just crumple it up and throw it in the trash, who fucking cares)

But I see some of those (highly staged, illusory, pain-in-the-ass to shoot) selfies and for a second I'm forced to wonder why that person had to feel so bad about and not have any fun at all, every single day. And now it's extra hard because as I might have said, I've had rosacea for around 15 years, and most of the time it was just a fairly manageable if embarrassing redness, but ever since I took the asthma medication Symbicort for a month this summer, the condition has been progressively deforming. I don't even look the same as I did this fall, and I have no reason to believe things will get better or even level out. Like, this is it. I feel like I don't even have the same skull shape as the girl in these cute pictures from September. I'm stressing myself out wondering about all kinds of procedures I can barely pay for, that could potentially make it worse actually. I'm wondering if I need to quit my public-facing volunteer gig, one of the only things that gives my life meaning, because I'm sick of how red and bloated and wet I look in every single livestream, and I don't like it when I'm occasionally accused of being drunk or I'm randomly told to "calm down" because I looked like I'm panicking even when I'm not. I don't know what to do. I wish I didn't care. But it's tough to look back at old pictures, even just from six months ago, and think Damn I didn't know how much worse things were about to get, I should have live-laugh-loved through every grueling moment of my luxurious mediocrity while I still had it to enjoy!

--On that note there's a certain curse of women who are like, not ugly enough for it to feel like a hopeless case, but who also don't actually have much potential to do anything satisfying with themselves. If you absolutely know that beauty isn't an open road for you, you can choose not to waste energy on that and you can focus on any number of other things that can make your life happy and meaningful; but if you have that nagging suspicion that maybe you COULD be finding exciting ways to express yourself through your looks, then you're dogged by this feeling of dissatisfaction and constantly wondering if it would be better if you just threw in the towel and called yourself ugly so you could stop thinking about it, or if that would be wasteful because maybe something nice would happen if you just made more of an effort, maybe there's still time, maybe you need the right haircut, maybe you need to shake up your wardrobe, maybe you need to learn that advanced hygiene routine that you always found too confusing to master, maybe you just need to get in shape, maybe et al ad nauseum. It would be better not to have to wonder about it all. And of course there's social pressure to maintain ambiguity, especially for women: You're supposed to work really hard to be hot, but you're supposed to act like it's all effortless and also like you have no idea how attractive you are. But you can't be unrealistically humble or people will hate you for that, too--they'll hate you for being dishonest, or they'll give you shit about your apparent self-esteem issues, because somehow that is always everybody's business. You can't win!

You're right that I don't wear much makeup, I really never learned; I never had a mom who was interested in me or the kinds of female friends who help you learn all the pageantry. I wore some makeup for a little while at the end of my 20s because I had to go to my fancy brother's wedding and I was embarrassed about looking raw and dowdy forever in his fancy wedding photos, so I forced myself to learn a few things. But basically I don't want to be bothered, and I enjoy the Joan Crawford brow I do, but that's utilitarian also--if I'm not paying attention I'll rip all the eyebrow hairs out of my face, which is extra embarrassing if it happens in the middle of a work day or something. So now the pencil is essential! And since my face started turning red I usually use some primer and foundation that I really like, although there is very little that keeps my head from looking like a big swollen clown nose, from now on. (All of my minimal supplies are from Make Up For Ever btw, expensive but long-lasting and reliable)

Unrelated but I'm really pissed off that I can't drink anymore, because now it brings on this violent painful flushing, and every time that happens it causes progressive destruction and like, basically every day is worse than the last--which is true anyway about aging, but it's escalated for me. But like, I have severe depression and anxiety and I can't be on any mood medications because they make my tinnitus intolerable, so the only thing I could reliably do for myself was have a little alcohol. Like just half a can of beer would get me through so many tough chores and bouts of mindless fear. And I love wine, I love amari, I love whiskeys, I love esoteric cocktail nonsense, I have a ton of friends from the craft beer world, and now basically there are entire art forms that I can't enjoy anymore, like ever again. And you can bet this is going to affect my relationships. I know people will want to say that's bullshit, quitting drinking is practically always a good thing and your "real friends" will stick with you sober...but that's all pretty hyperbolic. I don't want my life to be winnowed down to only the purest stuff. I don't want this cornerstone of my social and cultural life to be ripped out from under me. I never even developed any bad behaviors to deserve this! And god knows I don't want to have absolutely zero options for calming my nerves. Therapy and yoga and meditation have done nothing for me psychiatrically. I'm just fucked, really, in the dreariest most mundane way possible.

I wouldn't be so hung up on getting drunk and looking pretty if I had some other source of meaning, but it's hard to find that essential driving force when you can't even get through the day's chores like a normal person. I'm on like day 5 of trying to fold my clothes or even just shove them into bags, and I live in terror of the avalanche that is going to happen when one of us needs to get out the bed sheets that I "put away" dangerously in the closet, despite multiple attempts to do it right. I don't drive so you're ahead of me on some level! But I'm 100% positive I wouldn't have understood all that stuff about the tabs, haha. This week I'm seeing my GP and I'm going to ask for a psych referral for evaluations for autism and ADHD. I'm scared that I'm opening myself up to being officially diagnosed as just lazy and negative and then everyone will get to tell me I Told You So about how my only issue is my poor attitude, but I'm sure there's something going on with me, and if it's ADD and god forbid I can get a little medication of some kind that allows me to like wash dishes and do laundry like a normal person without making everything exponentially worse...then, you know, that would be a really big deal. It seems to me that a lot of people are depressed because of some unfulfilled dream they had of being really sexy and cool and talented, or some other superlative--and we usamericans do experience a lot of irrational cultural pressure to be Awesome at something, I'm not looking down on people who suffer from this--but all I want is to like, get on the bus successfully. To not humiliate myself every single time I go to ship a package because I just can't figure out what's going on, yet again. To not be having constant wardrobe malfunctions. To vacuum my house without just mysteriously pushing dirt and hair around into different configurations. To cook a nice simple meal I don't destroy. To have a job again. These are my most treasured fantasies. Maybe if we both put pressure on "the Universe" to "manifest" our dreams this year, then we can have a great 2024!

[wiihtigo]

hi. osomatsu?

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them

hmmmmmmmmmm osomatsu...well maybe my favorite thing would be that hes the oldest..im the oldest out of my siblings too so i always really liked the "that oldest sibling feeling when" jokes in ososan bcuz theye really funny and relatable to me. Something that definitely tunrned me into an osoguy coming back to ososan was that hes a problems guy. the pipeline of events was this "osomatsu is a good older brother :) -> ohh osomatsu wanted to be a ballerina when he was a kid -> OSOMATSU HAD A TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD EVENT? -> ohh osomatsu wants kids:) -> osomatsu is normal" im like. mesmerized by the beauty of his brain. i want to study him on a petri dish. umm like i dunno. theres a lot to dissect in how he acts in episode 24 of both season 1 and 2 and not to mention a lot of little scenes throughout the series like the nyaa chan episode and the fucking tortoise and the hare skit. basically the thing i like most about oso is that i want to put him in a bug jar and study his behaviors and also i think its nice that hes a good older brother

least favorite thing about them

osomatsu is a really hard character to find things you dislike about him if you already like him bcuz if you like osomatsu you kind of have to like him for his faults because hes made up of 99% flaws. which is to say i couldnt think of anything i really dislike about him. i guess some of the SEX jokes go a little far for me sometimes but thats less of a problem with him and mroe of a problem with the writing itself Lol

favorite line

when hes like "i just want someone to treat me! i want someone to treat me for the rest of my life!"

also when he mentioned he wanted kids. well it was over for me

brOTP

i really like choukei, parka, and sokudo and beni and bhmmmmmmmm umm well thats all of his stupid brothers isnt it. well i really like those first 2 a lot i like the oldest 2 solidarity oso and kara have (them in the choromatsu incident was the funniest shit ive ever seen, and also the ear cleaning skit is so so so funny) and i think its really cute that ichimatsu lets osomatsu baby him and osomatsu is the only older brother he has that he calls niisan. ough. it hurts. also the scene they have in the working dead game is seriously stuck in my mind forever. jesus christ i just watched it again its seriously EXCUSE ME! HE HAS AUTISM

im sorry i have to show the whole fucking thing its so good. i love that he flips out at their boss implying ichimatsu isnt taking this job seriously when osomatsu knows very well how hard it is for ichimatsu to communicate to others and how severely out of his comfort zone it is for him to be doing this in the first place

OTP

i like him and totoko and also my very specific vision i have of totonyaa and also osomatsu is there. he babysits nyaas kid and they let him eat their leftovers from their dinner date

nOTP

nothing really

random headcanon

this ties into an au i have with some friends but osomatsu highschool gym teacher who gets REALLY REALLY into the dance unit

unpopular opinion

this is really weirdly specific but when some people write jyushimura stuff where osomatsu is like "Jyushimatsu..i have to you something really important.." and he tells jyushimatsu about what he saw at the AV store BITCH he would not do that to homura do you think hes that insensitive in this regard

song i associate with them

is this - oingo boingo - another place another time? another face that looks like mine? ummm. this is the only saddish sounding song on my oso playlist but the lyrics fit so so well

pills for everything - handsome devil - i sort of associate this one with his #tougoutrauma moment and how i think that affected his adult life. umm. anyways.

now shes gone - felt - this is on my friends oso playlist and i just associate it with choukei now bcuz i was in call with him when he was adding it and i was like getting hit with beams of some kind

favorite picture of them

[haijimee]

It Should Be You

authors note: um i love tobio bcuz hes so blunt and mean <333 but here <33 i couldn't figure out a name for the bitch so meiko ig?? idfk im terrible w names dhmu

cw/tw: slight??angst?? if u squint??, fluff bcuz that's what im all abt, uh, some naughty words (watch ur mouth tobio >:(( ), uh plastic ass hoe??? fuckin shit up???, childhood friends to lovers <333, DW HAPPY ENDING!!!

song to listen to: Home to Me (Live) , Devil & The Deep Blue Sea

[Tobio Kageyama x Female Reader]

He didn't get it. Why was this happening to him? His teammates told him that getting in a relationship would be enjoyable, so he did, with this girl named Meiko in his class, who wore hair extensions and way too much makeup. She was the first girl to confess to him after the conversation so he said yes.

But why was she so fucking annoying? He could hardly stand it. Sure he had a short temper but she made it even shorter. Always whining and complaining about everything!

"Tobioooo!! I said I wanted to go the the PINK café! This is red!!!"

"Tobioooo!! Why are you practicing right now?! You should be taking me on a dateeee!!"

"Tobiooo tell me my makeup looks good!"

"Tobiooo! Why were you talking to that other blonde girlll!! I don't care if she's your manager you can't talk to other girls when you have meee!!"

God, if she wasn't a girl he would've sent a ball into her face. He tried to talk and she would cut him off talking about her so terrible problems, which consisted of her makeup looking horrible or her hair was disgusting.

She looked the same to him so he made no comment until she whined about it. But the thing that irritated him the most as that she kept trying to change him. Saying he should dress more cleanly, or that he should focus more on her than volleyball, which was so fucking stupid! He wasn't going to change, he liked the way he was!

He hated it. His teammates said relationships were soothing and would make him happier, but he just felt shitty, he could never get a break.

And he told this all to one person. You. His best friend.

He'd rant about Meiko and all the issues on the days he'd go over to your house, he'd lay down on your bed as you'd comb your hands through his soft black hair, whispering "really?" and "oh Tobio" every now and then. He spent most of his free time with you, usually, but Meiko kept dragging him away. It made him stressed and unhappy, he was so used to spending everyday with you. But on some days he could spend time with you, avoiding Meiko and walking home with you as he used to.

On one of those days, he was tired, drained, as you both walked through the door. You said hello to your mother as you slipped off your shoes and Tobio did the same. You took your backpacks and walked up the stairs to your room.

But the second you closed the door he flopped down on your bed face first. You laughed, taking his backpack from his hand and placing it next to yours as you climbed on your bed and laid back against the pillows and headboard, opening your legs and patting your lap as he crawled over, flipping over to look up at you.

Your hands found their way into his coal black strands, egging him on to begin talking, easing him easily into relaxation. And the waterfall flowed. Telling about how Meiko began screeching at him because he wouldn't eat the bento she made him, and he explained that it was all burnt and smelled like shit! So of course he wasn't going to eat it!

"And she went all 'I put love into that bento!' but if that's her love it's fucking gross!" he cried and you giggled, closing your eyes in a smile.

He looked up at you, as you began to laugh harder, your shoulders shaking as you laughed, little snorts interrupting your giggles, which made you laugh even harder.

He looked at you and felt his heart pound, his face go beet red. He had never realized how happy he was with you. How comfortable it felt to have his head in your lap, your hands on his face. He'd never noticed how he knew everything about you, from your favorite food to the strangest birthmark you had on your back. He had been there for a long time, and you were the only person strong enough to break down his walls.

As your giggles settled you looked back down at him with the warmest smile.

"Go on, tell me about the rest of your day Tobio, I wanna hear."

He stared at you, wide eyed before he sat up quickly, startling you as you jumped. He looked at you, his eyes tracing every feature of your face.

"Why couldn't it be you?" He asked, his face blank.

"What?" You said softly, confusion in your expression as you looked back at him.

"Why couldn't it be you who confessed?" He said.

You stopped, blinking.

"Tobio what do you mean?" You laughed nervously, was he serious? Of course he was, Tobio was always serious! But what was he talking about? 'Why couldn't it be you who confessed?' What did that mean?!

"I mean, why can't you be the one I'm dating?" He said bluntly, and your jaw dropped. Your cheeks flushed red as you looked at him.

"Tobio! You have a girlfriend you can't just say that! I'm just your best friend!" You squealed, fisting your bedsheets between your hands.

"But why can't you be more? Do you not like me?" He looked sad, his eyes looking down. It panged in your heart.

"Of course not Tobio. I like you, I like you so much! But- you have a girlfriend! Don't you love her?!" You cried, the words dug into your heart. He loved her.

"No? What made you think that?" Tobio asked, confused.

"Well, you're dating her so you love her right?" You asked, stating the obvious.

"What? No. My teammates said that dating would make my life better so I said yes to the next confession, though it's not making my life better to be honest." He said, and your jaw dropped. Again.

"Tobio! Do you even know how dating works?!" You screamed, grabbing his uniform collar and pulling him closer.

"Um...no?" he said, sweat dropping at your tone. Was there something special about dating he didn't know? Like, money? Or magic?

You looked at him, massaging your temples.

"Dating is something romantic. When two people feel love towards each other and decide to pursue a romantic relationship together. Where you kiss and go on dates to the movies or to restaurants or cute cafes where you get lattes with hearts in them. Where they're both comfortable with each other and cuddle on the couch, talk about life and the future. And if things go well they get married and live life together, maybe having kids or getting pets. Just loving each other with everything they have.." You said softly, a faraway look in your eyes, ever since you were a child you had dreamed of something like that. And as you grew, you realized you wanted to have the future with one person. The one person you could never have.

Tobio Kageyama.

He looked at you, his eyes wide in realization.

"I guess I'm breaking up with Meiko now. Thank god." He said, and you looked at him, laughing a bit. You felt so at ease with Tobio, even now he was making you smile and laugh. "So..have you ever..dated..anyone?" he asked.

For some reason, he didn't like it. The thought. He didn't like the picture in his head of you sitting on the couch with some random guy. Going out together and..and kissing. Or you running your hands through some other guys hair as he talks about his day and you give him that soft smile or snort laugh. It made his chest hurt. He didn't like it not one bit.

"Ah..no..I've never uh..been one for dating.." You mumbled, cheeks pink. Tobio looked at you and suddenly you realizing his eyes were sad. And as he looked at yours he saw beyond that smile you always gave him. He saw the swirls of pain in your eyes. He hated it. You gazed back at him to see those sad blue eyes, his lips curled in a frown as his brows furrowed together.

"Hey Tobio whats wrong?" You asked as you looked at him, reaching out to cup his cheek. His heart started pounding again, erratically beating against his chest. He stared at you, eyes wide before jumping back, scrambling a bit away from you as you watched in confusion. He calmed down, moving to sit on his knees as he looked at you again.

"So..do you..love someone?" He asked, breaking his gaze away from yours as he looked down at the bed.

You eyed him, before lifting your chin up a bit, looking at the corner of your ceiling.

"Yeah. I do, and I've loved them for a very long time." You said softly, and his head snapped up to look at you. Of course you loved someone, he spat in his head. You were so kind and so nice, it's obvious you'd find someone nice who you'd fallen for. But his chest squeezed. He knew there was someone. But why. Why did it hurt so much. Knowing it wasn't him? Why couldn't it be him.

He hadn't even realized he'd been clutching his chest, squeezing his uniform so hard his knuckles turned white. He hadn't realized until you grabbed his hand, unfurling it from the black material of his uniform as you took it in yours, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles like you always did. He looked at you, and felt the pain build up again as he stared into your eyes.

"Who is it..?" he asked, praying the emotions swirling in his head weren't betrayed by his voice. You looked at him and then at his hand.

"I don't think I'll tell you." You murmured, and Tobio gritted his teeth. As the thoughts in his head pounded until one slipped out of his lips.

"I want it to be me."

He said, and your eyes widened as you looked at him.

"What?"

"I want it...to be me.." he repeated, his ears and face reddening, "I want to be..the person that you love.." he mumbled, as the thought settled in him. He did. He always has. Wait a minute. He always has. Yes..he..he has hasn't he?

He's always wanted to be the person holding your hand on the way to school. The one who leans over and asks you for help with his notes. The one who eats lunch with you as you share your food, as he sloppily takes his chopsticks and places a piece of chicken in your mouth as you laugh and put a piece of eggroll in his. He always wanted to see you at his games, it fired him up to see you cheering his name and looking so proud when he did a good set. He always wanted to be the person who took you out for snacks and who you could call at 2am when your crying because you feel sad, and he'll go over to your house just to hug you and listen to you rant.

He..he wants to be the person to kiss you, and hug you and cuddle you and take you out to romantic places. He wants to be the one to marry you.

As he looked up at you it hit him in the face. He has always loved you. It's why dating Meiko felt wrong. Why the past few weeks without you felt wrong. The truth was, he couldn't bare life without you. He wanted to always be with you.

You were still mulling over his words, eyes wide and blank. You couldn't even comprehend what you were saying until you said it.

"Silly Tobio..you've always been the person I loved."

You clasped your hands over your mouth as the words came out, face red as Tobio stared at you, his eyes were wide as he realized it. You both sat there for a few seconds before he carefully crawled over to you, taking your hands off your mouth and pressing them to his chest, where you could feel the fast beating of his heart.

"Is this..is this weird?" He asked softly, and you looked at him, his pink cheeks and ears, and smiled. Smiled so much as tears fell from your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks. Tobio began to panic but you simply pulled him closer, burying your face into his chest as you hugged him tightly. He looked at you before relaxing, sitting down as he wrapped his arms around your torso, resting his head atop yours.

"Hey?" He asked softly, after you two had sat like this for a few minutes. You looked up.

"Mhm?"

"Does this mean we're dating now?" He asked, and you giggled.

"Just break up with Meiko tomorrow and yeah, yeah I think so." You said, and Tobio gave a proud smile. As you both shifted to lean against the pillows, legs and arms tangled up as you pressed close to eachother, his head atop yours and you snuggled into the crook of his neck.

"Hey?" He asked again, and you hummed in an answer, as he looked down at you.

"I think I'm in love with you."

"I think I'm in love with you too."

CAN YOU GUYS SEE THE TEARS IN MY EYES OH MY GOD

its so fucking LONG now that i realize it. i just got so into this wrote this in like 3 hours..

i love awkward tobio hes so cute

anyways

now kiss <333 come get ur man tobio stans <33 THAT RHYMED FUCK YEAH

[tokyokookmin]

I really loved your explanation regarding vmin it was retable. kanmom51 anon, Im using a little of your ask for @tokyokookmin to explain and narrate a lil about JIMIN shes a JM biased too so I felt that it would be appropriate to ask her.

"Because it’s no secret that JM doesn’t get any praise from the company, the choreographer, and all."

"When it comes to the members it’s a different topic. They hype Jimin up. We have J-Hope constantly praising JM. Jk completely in awe with JM dance. Jin thanking him for helping him rehearse."

"So for me Bighit for some reason doesn’t do anything for JM, no credit in his work, no acknowledgement, nothing."

I felt that every single word that this anon has said is pure truth and this remark deserves much more attention. We all know what's currently going on with JM, the situation is really bad and its getting worse, toxic solo stans are bashing him and they are comparing him to other members from every perspective + even the hate that he's getting bcuz of him "annoying jk" in that memories 2020.

I need you to explain on how a wonderful person JM is. Your impact makes a huge difference on people mindset. tysm keshhh.

Hey there anon!, I deeply understand your emotions. The hate that JM is going through is really bad and I have personally reported those accounts on twt etc. I even took a few snapshots of a tiktok video comment section... I will surely share them some day or another. Well then lets get started! I can't compare J-HOPE TO JM because they are my biases and both of them captivated my eyes, I just can't resist their flawless moves and they make a great dance unit... it would be incomplete without one of them + JK lol.

Most armies would say that JK is the golden maknae or he's the best overall in the team, well y'all took JM for granted, he's capable of doing so many things as well. But before that we need to talk about his dancing skills, I have made one blog about the 3J. Here's the link if you would like to know about their achievements/viral moments https://tokyokookmin.tumblr.com/post/654670945252933632/a-guide-to-the-dance-line..... this blog was mostly just me collecting info's lmao-.

1. DANCE ☝️

Well I found this incredible video from tiktok and I thought that this video would be perfect to describe his contemporary skills. Utmost respect to the creator for creating such a masterpiece!

Jimin Van Fleet Award!

Do we really need to talk about this? We all knew what impact he had given to audience with his remarkable traditional korean fan dance.He is extremely talented, after all he trained in contemporary.

“I received many really big awards today. I sincerely appreciate it, and it was a day when I thought I would like to share it with you with better music and stage in the future. Thank you all for your support. #JIMIN# We have been unclear” #JiminWorldwideLoved 📷📷📷📷

"As emphasized by the ballet dancer, being lifted is not easy, just like in the case of Jimin in the said stage. A strong core, glutes, and chest are vital for the one being lifted." https://youtu.be/3RW91KT3bXw - another review from a japanese dancer.

He is extremely versatile and he can master any sort of genre.He excels in dancing,his moves and fluidity of his body is astonishing they way he moves every tissue in his body to perfectly to complete the cheoreo is just mind blowing, he is truly the embodiment of dancing! Believe me or not, you should pay more attention on his facial expressions... he keeps it graceful. His fingers and angle are on point.

From MAMA 2016 Lie meets Boy meets evil to MMA 2020 black swan 🦢..I wonder what's coming up next.

2. Loving member

Jimin is the member that I connect emotionally to, he's a sentimental person but he just doesn't show it you just have to pay attention on his behaviour and actions. He consoles many of the members and he provides comfort for them. The picture I attached below sets a great example.

1. BTS MAMA 2018... It was a tough year for them. They were close to disbanding, and the members were emotionally drained. My heart sank when I saw hobi breaking down in front of the crowd, you can find tons of fancams but you should take a close look at Jimin. He handled the situation very well and I love the way he gives his subtle touch of love towards the other members.

2. Taehyung grandma death announcement

I don't think that I need to explain the about the situation. Taehyung was really sad and felt guilty as he couldn't mention his grandma name. He broke down and Jimin immediately noticed him and ran towards him and just gave him little pat/huggie.

3. The Final

Even by looking at the picture you can see the comfort. You know that GCF-TOKYO song “there for you’ which implies that Jk means he will be there for jimin but "you gotta be there for me too” which means jimin gotta be there for him too. So yeah, JM just know jungkook well and he comforts Jk pretty well.It was so cute and i wished i was a part of the audience, i would have had a panic attack looking at them being so cute,fluff,intimate ON STAGE . Too bad it’s impossible now .

3.He's a badass [ athletic/ physical ]

Jimin has often talked about his experience in kendo,japanese fencing,Geomdo (검도, 劍道) “Way of the Sword” & hapkido. HAPKIDO: electid korean martial arts .It is a form of self-defense that employs joint locks, grappling, throwing techniques, kicks, punches, and other striking attacks.

https://youtu.be/oUcHghZQxiw - a video you may refer to.

.4.Academic excellence

After Namjoon Jimin has the most remarkable academic achievements in bts. He was one of the top students in junior high and was THE top student in Busan arts high school from ALL the departments. Fun fact Jimin IQ is 128! He was valedictorian too.

"When he was in junior high, he was one of the top students so Jimin's dad thought of enrolling him in a foreign language school. When he decided to go to an arts school, his teachers tried to stop him and were disappointed. He was accepted as the top of his class and attended Busan High School of Arts. He was doing really good. Then he switched to K-pop dancing and decided to be a trainee in Seoul. Teachers also tried to stop him and were disappointed. Park Jimin's life is really something.

36. Our Jimin didn't spend a lot of time preparing for the arts school. He was dancing popping when he decided to go to the arts school. He then learned modern dancing for a little over a year and was accepted at Busan High School of Arts as the top of his class even though he was a dance majorπ TT TT Every member in this group could've been successful at anything. That group is our pride, BTS.

60. Wow! If there's only one dance class, it's really incredible~ It's hard to get a top student from dance department. And it was achieved by a male student and it's Park Jimin TTTT

67. That's what I know too.. I was looking into Busan Arts School before and one class for dance is probably correct. It was mostly music and art classes that I remember. So from Busan Arts School, one out of ten classes and a male student from dance department getting accepted as the top of the class...the percentage is just incredible. I know that the dance class has about 40 students? And male students could be 25:15 or 30:10. Jimin broke through this and became the top.

Namjoon and Jimin really made a huge gamble. They could've went the easier way. Truthfully, if they went their way, they both would have succeeded. But becoming an idol and not knowing what their future will be and BTS not being successful from the beginning must have been really hard for them. But now I'm glad they're successful and they can realize they've made the right choice."

cr @artimitatesjimin

I really respect and idolize him. His personality is unique and its different.He's been through alot. Being kicked from BTS for 8+ times, the members ranking his looks as the last and being called fat and ugly, that's really disturbing. He starved and went on diets just to please the audience and to have a jawline. He works his ass of and he really deserves more. He's obviously cutie,sexy,lovely,sweet guy! He prioritize his career, family and fans before anything. He has absolute heavenly vocals (+crazyyy high notes) and he is the definition of stage presence. PARK JIMIN IS THE STANDARD. Solo toxic fans are definitely going to attack on me but this is the reality.Jimin deserves more and he's such a sweet person. He performs with his whole heart and expresses it wonderfully,he goes all out and each performance comes out from his soul. He loves to perform. I MEAN FOR THE LOOKS, JIMIN IS THE FIRST FOR JUNGKOOK~.

He once even wasn't able to attend THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW due to his sore muscles.

He went through alot and he deserves the #1 in brand reputation, who doesn't admire his determination?

Each member is unique in their own way. I want no hate or malice on my platform ~

Bits and pieces I collected anon! love ya ~ stay safe.

[stiltonbasket]

but ALSO okay so first of all thank you so much for the ficlets so far they are Adorable and i love them so much. second of all i am so glad you opened prompts again bcuz. i have. smth ive been wanting to read for a WHILE. so. prompt: junior generation post-canon, they all have super high standards for romantic partners cuz they spend time with Super Lovey Dovey WangXian. not like jiang cheng's List but smth a la Tenille Arts's Somebody Like That iykwim

i hope its not too late to insert a detail to my prompt!!! (i ran outta chara space in the og prompt message and then forgot ^^" ) but theres just one thing!! i really wanna see!!!! in the wangxian spoiling each other bit!!!!! (and the juniors being all That is Love Why Should We Settle For Less) -- i want lan zhan walkin around at one point with his hair in a braid and flowers braided in!!! and if asked he gets all soft and looks at it and is like "wei ying did it" ahhh i love the image <3

can anybody find me (somebody to love)

by stiltonbasket

“Wei-qianbei, we’re getting old enough to go courting now,” Jingyi says eagerly; but he’s a horrible liar who lies, because he and Sizhui are only nineteen, and Jin Ling doesn’t come of age until early winter. “What do you think we should put on our list of requirements?” 

(Or, the one where Jin Rulan visits the Cloud Recesses, contemplates his love life, and gets a new point of view on the Lan sect's taxation policy.)

Jin Ling is seventeen the year his dajiu marries Hanguang-jun, and finally gives Jin Ling the right to call Lan Sizhui his cousin. Sizhui’s always been his cousin, of course—they’ve been cousins since Jin Ling was born, even if neither of them knew it—but he couldn’t say so, because that would mean telling everyone that Sizhui was born a Wen. And telling everyone that Sizhui was a Wen would lead to terrible things, so Jin Ling keeps his mouth shut until after his dajiu’s wedding.

“You could just say that he was born to us during the Sunshot Campaign!” Wei Wuxian laughed, when he finally heard why Jin Ling wanted him to hurry up and take his three bows with Hanguang-jun. “Half the cultivation world already thinks he’s ours, anyway.”

But regardless of whether he could call Sizhui his biao-ge in public, Sizhui is first and foremost a very dear friend; and so are Lan Jingyi and A-Qing and Ouyang Zizhen, though Jin Ling’s best friend is probably Zizhen, just like Sizhui’s is Jingyi. He visits them in Gusu as often as he can, since all of them save Zizhen live there, and even Zizhen hangs around the Cloud Recesses more often than not. 

“Don’t you have a clan of your own?” Jin Ling frowns, when he visits his dajiu around midsummer to find the younger boy eating xiaolongbao in the jingshi’s new kitchen. “How come you’re still here, A-Zhen? The lectures ended weeks ago!”

“I’m almost sixteen,” Zizhen yawns, reaching for a shallow dish of black vinegar and soaking a salted mushroom in it. “Father says I’m old enough to go where I like, and Lan-xiansheng said I could keep studying with the Lan disciples as long as I stayed.”

“You’re just here for the food,” grumbles Jin Ling. His dajiu is a good cook when he doesn’t cover everything in chili peppers, and Jiujiu once told him in confidence that Wei-dajiu’s food was the closest Jin Ling would ever get to having his mother’s. But a steaming plate of xiaolongbao lands in front of Jin Ling before he can really start thinking about that, and then his baby cousin crawls into his lap and steals one of the soup dumplings.

“Ling-gege pays taxes,” three-year-old Lan Yu says serenely, poking a hole in the xiaolongbao and sucking out the broth. “Xiao-Yu can have one more?”

“Taxes?” Jin Ling stares at him. “What in the world does he mean?”

Wei Wuxian laughs and comes back over to give him another succulent soup dumpling to replace the one Xiao-Yu stole. “He’s pretending to be the sect leader,” he explains, ruffling Jin Ling’s hair on his way back to the stove. “And he found out about tax management this morning, since Lan Zhan and Xichen-ge are thinking about lifting the luxury tax on goods from some of the minor sects. But A-Yu thinks taxes are presents for the sect leader, so…”

“One more bao tax for xiao-Lan-zongzhu!” Xiao-Yu says imperiously, holding out his chubby hands. “Ling-gege give, please?”

“That is not polite, Xiao-Yu,” Hanguang-jun scolds, sweeping into the kitchen with A-Yuan and Jingyi behind him and A-Qing bringing up the rear. He lifts Xiao-Yu into his arms and sits him down on the bench next to Zizhen, and then he reaches up for a stack of patterned bowls and passes them around to the others. 

Jin Ling still hasn’t gotten used to eating at the Chief Cultivator’s table, even if Hanguang-jun is technically his uncle now. Sometimes Hanguang-jun even does the cooking, and feeds Wei-dajiu with his own chopsticks while everyone else watches, and then Jin Ling tries to choke himself to death on the bamboo shoots in his yan du xian before deciding that Lanling can’t afford to lose the first decent zongzhu it’s had since his great-grandfather’s time. 

“I wish I was married,” Ouyang Zizhen sighs dreamily, resting his cheek on his hand as Xiao-Yu tries to steal his dumplings next. On his other side, A-Qing’s cheeks flush crimson, and she stares resolutely down at her hands while Hanguang-jun offers her a plate of savory vegetables. “It looks so nice, Wei-qianbei.”

“It is nice,” Wei-dajiui winks—and oh, gross, because Hanguang-jun is blushing now, and staring at Wei Wuxian as if he’s the most amazing thing in the world. “Marrying Lan Zhan is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Mm,” Hanguang-jun says quietly, putting a heaping spoonful of potato congee into his husband’s bowl. “Wei Ying is the best thing that happened to me, too.”

Ouyang Zizhen wails. 

“Wei-qianbei, we’re getting old enough to go courting now,” Jingyi says eagerly; but he’s a horrible liar who lies, because he and Sizhui are only nineteen, and Jin Ling doesn’t come of age until early winter. “What do you think we should put on our list of requirements?”

“What, you want an arranged marriage?” Wei-dajiu frowns. “ I never went through the process myself—” and Hanguang-jun reaches out and squeezes Wei-dajiu’s waist, as if even thinking about Wei-dajiu seeing a matchmaker was too much— “and I don’t really know anyone who did, since Yunmeng’s a lot freer about these things. Are you sure, Jingyi?”

“I’m not asking for a matchmaker,” Jingyi says, tossing his long ponytail over his shoulder. “I want to know what to look for if my love of a lifetime comes along. So what were you looking for?”

“Nothing when I was your age, A-Yi. I thought I would spend my whole life at Lotus Pier, and marry one of the shijies or shimeis who liked me. But then I met Lan Zhan, and…”

And then his ideal became Hanguang-jun, Jin Ling finishes, chewing on a mouthful of mustard greens. Everyone knows that, Jingyi!

Unfortunately, the conversation doesn’t end there. It goes on for the better part of an hour, and all through the course of coconut pudding Hanguang-jun made for dessert, and Jin Ling can’t even leave because that would be rude, and the food is too good to pass up even if Ouyang Zizhen wants to ask about kissing now.

“How old is old enough to have your first kiss?” he inquires, while Lan Sizhui giggles into his hands and elbows Zizhen to make him stop. “I’m sixteen, so is that too young?”

“I was thirty-eight when I first kissed Wei Ying,” Hanguang-jun says dryly. “I would advise patience, unless Ouyang-gongzi already has a beloved one in mind.”

Jin Ling wants to die. Why is his extended family like this?

“Pudding tax,” Xiao-Yu announces from his lap. “Ling-gege, can A-Yu have a bite?”

“I’m Sect Leader Jin, though. I don’t have to pay you taxes.”

Xiao-Yu gives him a serious little nod before turning to Sizhui. “Yuan-gege, pay pudding taxes.”

“You’ve had enough pudding,” Sizhui scolds; and indeed, the dishes are mostly empty now, except for the serving bowls in the middle of the table. “Come on, A-Yu. Let’s go visit the rabbits.”

They end up at the rabbit field about ten minutes later, after Jingyi and Sizhui help Hanguang-jun with the dishes. Jin Ling thinks it must make a very strange picture: after all, one doesn’t often see three Lan juniors, one Ouyang sect heir, one Jin sect leader, and one Lan baby lying in the grass with bunnies climbing over them. But the peace and quiet is beautifully welcome after the political unrest in Lanling and the dog food in Wei-dajiu’s tiny kitchen, so Jin Ling closes his eyes and settles down for a nap with a small white rabbit on his chest. 

“I think Shufu was right,” he hears A-Qing say. “There’s no point in having a list of requirements. Look at what happened to Jiang-zongzhu.”

“His first list was terrible, though,” Zizhen objects. “And he’s going to be married by next spring, so it worked for him in the end. After he fixed his requirements, I mean.”

“Gossipping is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” Sizhui says tranquilly. “And what Father meant was that having a list means you might miss your fated one when they come along, so it’s best to think about what you want, instead of what your beloved should be.”

“I’d like it if my wife liked to eat my cooking,” sighs Zizhen—he’s an excellent cook, too, and Jin Ling knows for a fact that A-Qing’s favorite food is the shrimp and water spinach Zizhen’s mother taught him to make. “Then I could cook, and she could wash our children’s hands and bring them to the kitchen when I was done, and we would all eat together.”

“I think I’d like a husband who knew how to do my hair,” A-Qing says, not even trying to be subtle. Jin Ling has seen the combs Zizhen keeps giving her, even if they’re far too young for a courtship, and Zizhen is always the first to offer assistance whenever A-Qing’s hair falls out of its bun. “Even a plain bun is too hard for me, since my hair’s so bushy.”

Zizhen nearly drops his rabbit. “Oh,” he whispers, blushing so hard that his neck turns red. “That’s good!”

Jin Ling wants to die. He can’t stand visiting Lotus Pier because his jiujiu is obviously courting, even if he won’t say he is, and now he’s going to have to watch A-Qing and Zizhen flirt until Zewu-jun and Ouyang-zongzhu give them permission to get married. 

“What about you, Jingyi?”

“Huh? Oh, I want to marry someone who won’t mind how loud I am,” Jingyi shrugs. “Or someone even louder than me, so we can make trouble together. A-Yuan?”

“I haven’t really thought about it, actually,” Sizhui sighs. “I’m Zewu-jun’s heir, so I have to get married, but I’m not sure if I want to.”

A moment of silence. 

“Then you won’t have to,” Jin Ling says. Everyone stares at him. “Zewu-jun didn’t get married, and Hanguang-jun wouldn’t have if Wei-dajiu didn’t come back to life. You can just choose an heir born to one of your cousins, since Jingyi was going to inherit the sect before Hanguang-jun adopted you.”

The others swoop in to assure Sizhui that no one’s going to make him get married, and Jin Ling folds his arms behind his head and wonders if his biao-ge could possibly be like Zewu-jun: a yi xin yi shen, whole in heart and body, who eschewed marriage in favor of cultivation. It would explain a lot, Jin Ling thinks, because even he knows what it feels like when someone makes his heart beat fast and his face turn pink, and Sizhui’s never felt that way. 

(Jin Ling tries not to think of Nie-zongzhu’s hot-tempered archivist, who knocked him into the dust with her saber the last time he visited Qinghe and then told him he had pretty eyes. Nie Shiyong is a few years older than him, and he usually ends up nursing several new bruises each time he meets her, but Jin Ling is man enough to admit to himself that he likes her. Maybe.)

“Xiao-Yu is sleepy,” little A-Yu says, interrupting his embarrassing train of thought before it can go any further. “Yuan-gege, I have a nap?”

“You can just sleep here,” Jingyi suggests. “The grass is soft enough, right? And you can use one of us for a pillow.”

“Jingyi,” Sizhui chides, and Jin Ling hears the long grass rustling as his cousin gets to his feet. “Come on, A-Yu. I’ll take you home to A-Niang.”

“No need,” someone else says; and that’s Hanguang-jun’s voice, coming up the hill from the direction of the jingshi. “I am here. A-Yu, come.”

Jin Ling scrambles up to greet his uncle by marriage (sect leader or not, jiujiu would kill him if he greeted the Chief Cultivator from the ground) and then he reels back and blinks in surprise, because Hanguang-jun’s hair is up in a loose braid instead of a half-topknot, and somebody seems to have decorated the braid with a row of half-bloomed lotus flowers. 

“Wei Ying did it,” Hanguang-jun says, with a small, soft smile that makes Sizhui and the others gasp. “He will do the same for your hair, too, if you ask.”

And then he lifts Xiao-Yu up into his arms and carries him away, leaving Jin Ling still frozen mid-bow with Jingyi and Zizhen gaping behind him.

“I think what Hanguang-jun meant is that the first requirement for marriage is love,” Lan Sizhui remarks, when Jin Ling finally snaps his mouth shut. “And that no matter what we want, or think we want, we shouldn’t settle for less.”

(Jin Ling is the first of his friends to marry, and he never forgets his biao-ge’s advice until the end of his days.)

[prorevenge]

Won’t pick up your dog’s shit and then steal from me? Move out then.

So this happened at the last apartment complex I lived in. Sorry it’s so long.

My SO and I were renting a ground floor unit at a really nice apartment complex. I wouldn’t say it was a luxury apartment or anything but our ground floor unit had a little patio off the back that led out into a really nice court yard area with hammocks, a walking path, outdoor fireplace/seating area, etc. A lot of people walk their dogs out there or let their kids play out in the grass, including us.

We have a 1 year old cane corso, we got her when we’d been living in the unit for about 2.5 months and she was only 8 weeks at the time. She’s a really good dog and we trained her well. We could let her out to go potty and she’d come right back even if there were distractions/people/dogs out (we always stood on the patio and watched her anyways because our pet agreement said we couldn’t leave our dog unattended). Then we’d go pick up her poop right away if she pooped (also part of the pet agreement as I’m sure is standard at most apartment complexes). We kept a small step trash can outside specifically for her poop bags because we didn’t want to throw them away inside and the only outside trash cans were on the other side of the building (which i agree is super dumb). It really was a small trash can, like the kind you’d tuck into the bathroom between the toilet and the wall. We also had her poop bags hanging on our patio door handle for easy access so we didn’t have to hunt for them every time we needed them.

This lady and her kid moved in on the ground floor in our building, two units down from us. No biggie. We ran into her one day carrying in groceries and my SO held open the door for her. She seemed kind of Karen-ish but was polite and her kid (probably 10-11 years old) didn’t look up from his phone. Whatever that’s pretty typical of kids these days. They also had a dog, a little black and white fluffy thing super cute but not trained very well. Don’t know what kind of dog but it was much smaller than our already giant puppy.

After about two weeks or so, we realized that there were dog turds in the grass right off our patio. We found out the hard way because my boyfriend stepped in it the first time. Luckily he wasn’t barefoot. They were clearly not our dog’s turds as 1.) we always picked up her poop right after she went and 2.) they were very obviously from a small dog, not our 70 pound puppy. We’d been in the apartment about 7-8 months at that point and had never had an issue with this so we figured it was EM’s little dog. I wrote her a polite note that basically was like “Hey neighbor! We noticed that some of your dog’s poops aren’t being picked up and are right off our patio. Per the pet agreement we all have to sign, we all need to be picking up our own dog’s poop each time they go. I’m sure it was an accident and you just didn’t notice, so if you could make sure to do that going forward we’d appreciate it! -Your neighbors in (unit#)”

She wasn’t home so I slipped it under the door and went back to my apartment. A couple hours later this lady is banging on my door and gets really angry with me, insists that it couldn’t have been her dog and how dare I assume. I felt really bad and I apologized immediately, said I didn’t mean to offend her and it must have been someone else. She told me never to bother her with “crap like this again” and stormed off. I was like okaaaaayyyyy.

Not three days later, I was sitting on my patio with a book enjoying the cool weather when I see their little dog run out of their back door - no one with it - and it comes over to me. I said hello to the pup (bcuz I love pups) and then it took a shit right off patio, ran back home and scratched the door to be let in. I saw her kid slide the door open enough to let the dog in and then closed it again without coming outside to pick up the poop. I was annoyed because here I saw it with my own eyes that it WAS their dog and no one was even watching it when it was outside.

So I grabbed a poop bag, picked up the poop, wrote another less polite note about her kid neglecting to watch the dog or come to check if it had pooped/pick up after it, and dropped the poop bag and the note on their patio right by the door, then went back to my reading. EM was quicker to come by this time and stomped right up to me, waving the note around. Then stated that her kid was just a kid and probably just forgot to check. I said I didn’t care, her kid was old enough to stand outside for 3 minutes and come pick up the dog’s poop. She said well there’s no poop bags/trashcans on this side of the building and she didn’t feel comfortable making her kid walk all the way around the building for that. The next part is my own fault, in hindsight. I suggested she put a trash can like mine on her patio and leave their own poop bags handy like we do for our dog. She eyed our stuff, huffed some more, rolled her eyes, refused to do anything about the poop and walked off. At this point I was super annoyed.

I stalked my patio door for the next couple days as much as I could, just waiting. And sure enough on day 2 in the evening when I was about to give up, I see the puppy run outside towards my patio. I whipped out my phone, took some pictures of the dog outside alone (not allowed) and the dog pooping and then took another phone an hour later of the poop still there and time stamped all of them. Then I sent an email to the apartment office people who were always pretty nice and they responded quickly they would give her a warning about it.

And sure enough this lady comes back AGAIN, to get mad and yell at me about how petty I was to report them to the office and now they had a $150 fine for not picking up their dog poop. (It’s worth noting that these fines were rare. PooPrints were not used at this complex. In order for the office to fine someone for dog poop they had to have proof it was that specific tenants dog’s poop and that it wasn’t picked up. Hence the photos I’d taken and timestamped.) I told her that I had tried to be nice about it with her TWICE before and it was her own fault at that point for not abiding by the terms of the pet agreement we ALL had to sign (everyone who had a dog at least).

She went off about how she’s a single mom and she works during the day and her precious baby can’t be expected to pick up after their dog. I told her that a 10/11 year old was plenty old enough to pick up after a dog and that if they weren’t responsible enough then maybe the kid shouldn’t be letting the dog out at all and she should be the one to do it or maybe whoever is home with him should be looking after it. She got angry, told me I had no idea how to be a single mom, that her mom stays with him during the day and shouldn’t be expected to look after her kid and her dog and she stomped off again. I expected to hear more about it but I didn’t. (The ironic part is I AM a single mom; my kid isn’t my SO’s and I raised him alone for 2.5 years before I met my SO, so yes I do know how hard it is and I live 1000 miles from my closest family so I never even had the luxury of being able to have my mom watch my kid.)

Over the next couple of weeks we didn’t find anymore dog turds off our patio. But we did notice our poop bags were depleting and our trash can filling up way more quickly than usual. I had my suspicions and wanted to test it. We had recently bought some small security cameras for inside of our apartment for different reasons and I had my boyfriend set one up outside on the patio. We faced it where it could see our door and trash can but didn’t point to the rest of the court yard or other people’s units (we respect privacy around here).

Sure enough the same evening my boyfriend set it up, I see the kid walk onto our patio, take a poop bag, walk out of frame, and then come back to throw it in our trash can. Okay. Now I’m PISSED but also not trying to fight this lady or her kid. So I moved the poop bags to the inside door handle. It’s a glass door so you can still see them but we always lock our sliding door.

Next morning, I hear someone knocking on the back patio door and I go to see her kid standing there looking annoyed. I didn’t open the door I just spoke loudly enough to ask what did he need. He demanded a poop bag for his dog’s poop. I said I’m sorry but these are our poop bags for our dog and they weren’t free for anyone else to use. The apartment provides poop bags in a dispenser near the trash can on the other side of the building. Kid started demanding a poop bag, saying his mom told him he could use ours, slapping his hands on the glass a few times (trying to scare me? yes I’m so terrified of a ten year old boy...), and finally screaming at me that he’s telling his mother on me. I said fine go ahead I’ll tell her the same thing. Sure enough, a few minutes later his mom is standing on my patio also demanding a poop bag for her dog’s poop. I denied her a bag and asked her to please step off of my patio as she was making me feel unsafe and uncomfortable (my SO wasn’t home). She told me I was a bratty child (I’m 24...) and she demanded I let her use my poop bags as I had already told her she could before. I said no, I told you to get some yourself and do what I do - keep them close by and put your own trash can on your own patio - not use the bags I buy with my own money for my own dog and then fill up my tiny trash can with your dog’s poop. I pointed out she could use a plastic shopping bag if she didn’t want to buy her own poop bags or she could use the bags the complex provided on the other side of the building. She kept going off on me and I finally told her if she didn’t leave my patio I’d call the police as she was harassing me (the apartment office was closed on Sundays and of course it was Sunday). She acted like she was going to call my bluff but then my boyfriend got home and walked up behind me to ask what was going on and she ended up dragging her kid away - again, leaving the poop in the grass off my patio.

So once she was gone, I took ANOTHER timestamped picture of the dog poop, downloaded the footage from my security camera of her kid stealing my poop bags and throwing them in my trash can and the footage from them that morning yelling at me and demanding my bags and my denying them and emailed all of it to the apartment management. I told them that she made me feel unsafe and uncomfortable in my own home, that she and her child felt entitled to come onto my patio and take my belongings. I also went outside, picked up her dog’s poop, looked in the trash can on my patio and pulled out the bags with her dog’s poop (they were significantly smaller than my dog’s poops as I’m sure any dog owners could tell the difference in poops of a 12lb dog vs a 70lb dog). I went and opened all the bags and dumped the poops straight on her patio right outside the door.

On Monday, I heard back from the office lady who said she would take care of it. By Friday, there was a moving truck and the lady and her kid were moving out. Pretty sure they were evicted or at the very least urged to move before a formal eviction process was initiated. After talking to some of our other, much friendlier neighbors, it turns out we weren’t the only ones who had been complaining about her. They’d only lived in the complex for like 2-3 months before they made so many enemies they were kicked out.

Sometimes I think I should feel bad for playing a part in them getting evicted but honestly I can’t bring myself to feel guilty about it. Not my fault she was a lazy entitled bitch who couldn’t even be assed to get a shopping bag to pick up her dog’s shit. I never heard from her about the turds I dropped on her patio but I like to think she stepped in them without looking and knew better than to come bitch to me about it.

sorrynotsorry

(Also, I’m sure they were given more than a week to vacate as those are the tenancy laws here but she packed up and left like a bat out of hell. Guess she didn’t want to stay somewhere she was clearly seen as an enemy... I don’t know for sure that she was evicted or if she was just asked to leave or abide by the lease or what. Office can’t give out that type of info and she and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms for her to give me the scoop about it.)

TLDR; Entitled mom lets her dog shit wherever it wants without cleaning it, I tell her to pick up her dog’s shits or make her kid do it, she refuses, gets a fine from the apartment complex after I send them pics of her dog unattended and the poop not being picked up. She starts letting her kid steal my supplies from my patio, I send video footage and photos to the management and they end up being kicked out of the complex.

(source) story by (/u/MotherhoodEst2017)

[blisslilywrites]

First Dates

- Bakugou, Midoriya, Todoroki

A/N: Sorry for not being active these past few weeks...we’re currently working on some requests but in the mean time,,here’s some bnha hcs I wrote a few weeks ago 😋Anyways, thank you guys for being so patient with us^^ ~Lily

BAKUGOU KATSUKI:

Weirdly enough, he asked you out

He had to like fight every part of his tsundere character to utter out those words

And when he did it was so soft and cute and you just went uwu

Anyway, you wanted to have some fun so you suggested going to the amusement park for your first date

Course he didnt refuse bcuz of his PRIDE

So there you guys were on the scariest rollercoaster in the park.

As it started its abrupt descent, you swore you could hear a high-pitched (like really high) scream coming from next to you. *cough* *cough*

Next the haunted house

He was unnaturally still throughout the entire thing

You, on the other hand, clung to him like a koala on a eucalyptus tree

Ok maybe you weren’t scared scared but cmon everyone uses haunted houses to get ~closer~ to whoever they’re there with

Maybe you were a little scared

Even tho youre not a kid anymore, you still made him go on all the kiddy rides with you

You totally sang old town road on the merry-go-round

To a much-annoyed bakugo

BUMPER CARS

You won a teddy bear at one of the stalls and gave it to him as a gift

Cuz he won’t be outdone, he won you an even bigger teddy bear

He scolds you when you end up buying too much cotton candy and popcorn

He scolds you some more when you proceed to finish said amount of cotton candy and popcorn

You were a bit wild but guess what, this tsundere likes you big time and this date did wonders to his feelings

He’d never admit he finds your wildness cute tho

He carries you on his back on the way home cuz youre just “too tired”

He was complaining the entire time tho

You give him a small peck on the cheek before running the short distance home

He becomes a flustered mess and you know it

MIDORIYA IZUKU:

lil’ cinnamon roll was a huge mess while asking you out and stopped midway

So you turned the question back on him and he said yes after turning redder than a tomato

You guys decided on a history museum cuz why not?

At the start of the date, midoriya was more than nervous and was just really uptight

It didn’t help that he dropped his water bottle on you and almost got you wet

He kept fumbling with the tickets too

At the security check, you were pretty sure the guards were looking at you two weirdly

Once you got inside you decided that things had to end here

A quick chop in the head and a short lecture seemed to calm him down

You guys went through the exhibits and fangirled slightly over the different artifacts

He knew some as in a lot of pretty interesting historical facts

You knew a few too

There was the ancient egypt exhibit where you did a mummy pose next to a sarcophagus and had him take a picture

Then you guys arrived at the ancient greek exhibit

You squealed

“Sorry Midoriya-kun,,I just love greek mythology…”

“I-I love it too…”

You guys spent the rest of the date talking about your favorite myths, characters, morals, historical importance, etc.

The exhibit was pushed to the sidelines as you and midoriya started having a long, detailed discussion of the myths

You guys got a bite to eat at the museum cafe

Where you continued your myths talk

In the end, you had fun

He had fun too

After he started relaxing

TODOROKI SHOUTO:

You were the one who asked him out

Like it was totally obvious to you and everyone that he had a huge crush on you

So one day you just asked him and now here we are

Being the socially awkward little boi he is, you’re the one who has to pick the venue and all that for your first date

It was breezy and all that so you put on an extra layer

What you didn’t expect was that he would appear weariNG A KNITTED SWEATER

Like ok wtf why does it look cuter on him than it ever will on me???

Honestly tho, have you ever seen him in a knitted sweater or any other kind of sweater?? Asjdhaksjdfg topless still best

You decided on a chill date so after like 10 nosebleeds upon seeing him, you guys made your way to the park for a nice stroll

You guys started talking and got to know each other a bit more

Or rather, you did alot of talking and he responded occasionally

After a while though, he became more comfortable around you

You guys shared an icecream

Indirect kiss

For lunch you guys bought some hot dogs and pretzels from a nearby stand

This was the first time he ever ate a hot dog

You were surprised to know this but even more surprised to his reaction to mustard

He blushed a bit too hard when you called him todo-chan

Then you guys went to a vintage bookstore nearby

He’s so cuute when he’s standing there in the middle of all the bookshelves with the sun hitting him like that-

Because of the dust, you sneezed and todoroki said “hmm you have a cute sneeze” omfg

Then you were both blushing, like really hard

It was getting late so you guys decided to call an end to the date

BUT not before he sent you home like the gentleman he is

[shipskicksandgiggles]

15 with irondad? I just feel like that'd be so fricken funny skfjdkd 😂💗💗

okay the funniest thing about this prompt is that it was a genuine conversation I had with a dude in one of my classes. we were talking about our favorite superheroes and I said mine was Iron Man and this asshole decided to antagonize me by saying his was Captain America. like he had a shield and everything that’s how much he loved Cap. and I’ll be damned if I know how we got to this point, but I figured out he had no clue what his actual name was. he knew who Chris Evans was but not Steve Rogers. so obviously I snapped back with this and he said yes. that was only of the greatest conversations I had all semester and it was like 2 weeks in

now I won’t lie. I struggled with this prompt bcuz I had no fucking idea how to not make this weird and creepy. so finally after thinking about it for 12 hours, it looks like I’m writing Stony for the first time ever. no that’s not a joke check my ao3 I have never written stony this is weird

so anyways. superparents anyone?

ao3 link if you prefer

15. “So let me get this straight. You want to suck Captain America’s dick, but you can’t be bothered to remember his full name?”

Steve had been on a mission for the better part of two weeks, and it had taken its toll. Tony missed his husband, and Peter missed his dad. 

It’s for that reason that the latter couldn’t sleep most nights. Peter was used to saying goodnight to both his dad and his papa before he started getting ready for bed, and that always went with a kiss on the temple from Tony and a hug that was at least 1 full minute long from Steve. It was hard to go without, especially for so long. 

He still got a kiss from Tony, but he couldn’t sleep yet again. It was closing in on 2am now. 

Peter sighed and got up, resigned to walking around their floor until he felt… less restless, he supposed. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one with that idea.

“Bambino?” Tony asked. “Why are you up, kiddo?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Peter admitted. “You?”

“Same here.” Tony sighed. “You miss your dad?”

Peter nodded, and Tony opened his arms. “He’ll be home soon, sweetheart. I’m half tempted to sue Fury since he shouldn’t be gone from his family this long, but you know he loves his job.”

“I know,” Peter muttered, accepting his papa’s hug. “Doesn’t make it easier.”

Tony guided them to the couch and sat down. “Yeah, I know it doesn’t. But he’s out there for us. For you, kiddo.”

He nodded again, and the two lapsed into silence. 

After a few moments, Tony spoke. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Can we watch WALL-E?”

“Sure kid, but don’t tell DUM-E, deal?”

“Deal.”

JARVIS queued up the movie and dimmed the lights. 

They were mostly quiet throughout the movie, with a few laughs, sniffles, and comments of ‘I could have built that so much better’ followed by ‘I know, papa.’

The credits rolled, and they continued to sit in silence for a little longer. 

“Everything okay Pete?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything sweetheart.” Tony turned to give his attention to his son. “What’s on your mind?”

“How did you know you wanted to marry dad?”

“Oh well that’s an interesting one. You want the long version, or the short one?”

“Long version, I guess. I'm just curious.”

Tony stretched and looked at the fireplace. Their wedding photos were perched in the mantle, right next to Peter’s baby pictures. 

“Well, I suppose if you want the long version, you’d actually be able to track it all the way back to the 80s. When I was in college, I realized I was bi, and honestly Rhodey probably remembers this better than me. But one night we got drunk, which terrible of us being underaged at the time, but I’m here to teach you to do better-“

“Papa,” Peter warned. 

“Right, anyways so,” Tony cleared his throat. “We got to talking about stuff, and I mentioned realizing I liked boys when I saw Captain America in my dad’s old files from the War. He was obsessed with trying to find Steve, even then. The comics did nothing to match what your dad really looked like. I was obsessed with his jawline. And his body. And his face wasn’t half bad either.” He laughed. 

“Rhodey though was the worst about it because I totally forgot his name. He was only ever ���Captain’ to me. So he turns to me and says- well honestly I shouldn’t repeat it to you, moving on-“

“Papa, I’m 17. I’ve heard you swear before, and I know what sex is if it’s about that. Even if I’m grossed out, I still want to know.” 

Tony gasped. “My child! Who has corrupted you?”

“Shut up and tell me, jerk.”

“Gosh, you’re rude. You get it from your uncle.” Tony rolled his eyes. “This is absolutely disgusting, but Rhodey turned to me when he realized I didn’t know his name and goes, ‘So let me get this straight. You want to suck Captain America’s dick, but you can’t be bothered to remember his full name?’” Peter mock gagged, causing Tony to ruffle his hair, “and I won’t lie, I said yes to that, but I did end up learning his name after that just to spite Rhodes. I didn’t actually expect it to go farther than, what do you kids call it nowadays? Thirsting?”

“Yes, but stop trying to be cool, old man. We get it, you had the hots for dad.” Peter stopped laughing for a second. “Is that why you took his name? Or hyphenated to Stark-Rogers?”

“Yeah.” Tony smiled, a soft look in his eye. “Now hush, I’m telling a story. I really didn’t expect it to go beyond surface level attraction. Then lo and behold, they drag him up out of the ice and I have to deal with having feelings again, which sucked by the way. The Battle of New York happened, and honestly I wanted to not get along with him. We both tried picking fights in the beginning, but then I fell out of space and he was hovering over me when I woke up. He barely left my side after that. Made sure I went to medbay and everything.” 

Tony paused, reflecting. “Honestly? I think it was the look in his eyes when I was conscious again. His smile too. I looked at him and realized ‘Oh fuck, I’m gonna marry him,’ and sure enough.” 

He stopped for a moment to laugh. “I still can’t believe I started to love him before I even met him. It’s ridiculous.”

“Tony, honey? Are you awake? I think I hear your voice. Who are you- oof.”

“Dad!” Before any of them could blink, Peter shot out of his seat at the sound of his dad’s voice. “You’re home!”

“Hey peanut,” Steve hugged his son close. “Yeah I’m home. Why are you up? It’s almost 4am, you should be asleep.”

“Couldn’t sleep. Papa was up too.”

“Yeah this was definitely mostly my fault. We missed you dear.” Tony got up to greet his husband, leaning up to kiss him. “Welcome back.”

“Gross.”

“Peter, you literally asked me not even an hour ago how I knew I was going to marry him, I think you can tolerate us kissing.”

“Whatever, man.” He turned to Steve. “Last hug? Then I’ll go to bed, promise.”

“Of course Peter.”

Steve pulled him close, making sure that he hugged him a little tighter for a little longer. “I love you, peanut. Get some sleep please.”

“Okay dad.”

Before he had a chance to run out, Tony snagged him for one last kiss on the temple. “Goodnight, bambino. I love you.”

“Love you too!”

He dragged himself back towards his room, finally content to go to sleep. 

~~~

“He okay?” Steve asked once Peter was out of earshot. 

“He’s fine. He just missed you, love.”

Steve nodded. “So he asked about how we met?”

“Not quite,” Tony told him. “He asked about how I knew I wanted to marry you. I have a sneaking suspicion he’s not telling us something, but I’m sure he will when he’s ready for us to know.”

“Oh of course.” Steve paused. “What did you tell him?”

“The truth. About how I found you hot long before you came out of the ice, and then your smile clued me in to how fucked I really was.”

“Tony,” he said, exasperated. “You’re gonna scar him for life.”

“Oh please, he’s 17, it’s probably not the worst he’s heard. Not everyone is a prude like you.”

Steve smiled, leaning down to kiss him again. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby. When did you get in?”

“A couple hours ago.” He suddenly looked weary, prompting Tony to guide him to the couch. “Had to debrief and check-in with medbay, plus I wanted to shower before I came up. I was going to make you both breakfast and surprise you when the sun was up, but you two had other plans apparently.”

“So it would seem.” Tony laughed at the look he gave him. “Come on, it’s no use now. The kid won’t be up until the afternoon most likely, and you should rest anyhow. Plus I need sleep and I missed my favorite pillow.”

Steve gasped. “I have been your husband for 20 years and I’m just your pillow? Is that all?”

“Rogers, I swear to god if you don’t come cuddle me right now I will get a divorce.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“No,” Tony admitted. “I don’t.”

[edengarden]

HEYO BBY 😎 im finally here! U can do a regular matchup or any that u feel more comfortable with!

So starting with basics: im 5'4; Gryffindor; sun Leo rising Gemini and moon Aries; my mtbi type is INFP-T; my love language is Quality Time;

I think my three main qualities are: I'm patient and understanding, I'm very loyal and I can see good things in everyone!

My three flaws are: I'm SOOO insecure, I'm too clingy and I'm too perfectionist

My hobbies are writing, reading, listen to music and drawn! I watch animes too, my music taste is very big, I like Ariana Grande, Beyonce, Imagine Dragons, David Bowie (thanks to u my darling), Frank Ocean, JUNNA, LiSa, Tyler The Creator, Leah Kate, etc. But my fav song is Achilles Come Down – Gang of Youths.

I think the trait i hate the most in people is that type of ppl who think ur achievements arent big just because they dont look big, and the ones who only know how to see the flaws in smthing!

Facts about me: i luv cats (my fav is Maine Coon), i luv potato, i hate onions, my favorite food is fried chicken, one of my dreams is to travel the world, i love history and arts, i hate math, i think that bonds of friendship can be stronger than family bonds, I love to read about what other people love, I get so hyped when someone asks me about my fav character or song or idk anything i love, I strongly believe that violence isn't the answer for anything, I love indie games, I have a bunch of teddy bears in my room, my favorite aesthetic is dark academia, i LOVE short hair, I have a hoodie that I use everywhere bcuz its from my favorite RPG, talking about it I love RPG

I think thats it bub! If u have a question u can sent me!

FIRST: sksksks you’re a gryffindor I can’t believe we have a slytherin-gryffindor friendship going on that’s iconic

Second: lmaoo Atsumu was out the window as soon as you started describing yourself bby we been knew

Third: IM A DARK ACADEMIA BITCH TOO ALSKDJDHJSJA

Fourth: I,,, I tried so freaking hard,, to find someone else,, bc I wanted to be impartial and tRUST ME I WAS FUCKING IMPARTIAL ON MY BULLSHIT but it’s just too good,, forgive mother for I have sinned—

I MATCH YOU UP WITH NISHINOYA

Now listen up you fucker, it’s YOUR FAULT for making your description so compatible with him!! (But honestly you sound just as compatible for Hinata and Inuoka, you just attract those rays of sunshine istg)

First of all; you’re patient?? It’s the number one requirement to be Noya’s s/o?? Also seeing the good in everyone!! I think it also means that you have a really optimistic side that could help Noya a LOT. Boy tends to get swept away by emotions please remind him of the positive stuff from time to time.

Also perfectionism?? With Noya, it’s gone. You KNOW he’s bound to screw something up, but does he care? Unless it’s Volleyball, not really dude. And i think that’s good for you! Sometimes, your best isn’t as high as other times and that’s okay! I think Noya really grasps that concept so any victory, no matter the size, is a victory for him and he hella hopes it’s a victory for you too! Clingy?? What does that mean?? Boy has no idea, he just knows the two of you are joined at the hip. You, Tanaka and him are the best and worst trio to ever walk this earth. God forbid you all went to Karasuno together istg-

And pfft travelling the world?? That’s done and done with Noya, we both know that. Y’all come back hella broke, but even that can’t destroy Nishinoya’s mood because he did all of that with you and got so many good memories!! He swore that he’d never, ever delete any of the pictures, even if they’re blurry or just things he thought were funny at 2 AM.

Overall, I seriously think the two of you are the kind of couple that can get passed anything because 1) you compliment each other so well yet have a lot of similarities and 2) you just?? Enjoy life?? Like you’re supposed to?? And that’s amazing.

Nishinoya could be the poorest man on earth, but if you’re by his side, then he’ll think he’s the luckiest on earth.

Songs!!

- It’s a Hard Life, Queen

- Chilly Down, David Bowie (when I say this is your theme song... THIS IS YOUR THEME SONG. This shit is the We Wreck Shit And We’re Gonna Take Off Your Head For Fun vibe, they’re the fuckin fire gang and so are you. Add Tanaka if you want, this shit is yours and Nishinoya’s VIBE.)

- Hey Ya!, Outkast (again, Wrecking Shit Vibe, but this song just puts Noya in a good mood dude)

- Station to Station, David Bowie (I don’t know why, but “thIs IsnT The SidE EfFecTs Of ThE CoCaINE” playing while you do something hella risky and stupid while Noya cheers you on is a wholeass mood)

[drews-diary]

My new laptop got delivered yesterday. So, in order to get myself used to the new keyboard that is much wider than the one I was using I have decided to tell a very detailed story on here about a few very small events. 

This is going to be a recollection of my past encounters with 5sos. And I do not recommend that anybody reads it because it is going to be incredibly detailed so that I am able to look back on those days. 

The first time I ever met 5sos was back in 2017 when they played at the Pentaport Rock Festival that was held in Songdo. They played a 50 minute set that started at six on the last day of the festival which was August 13th and it was a Sunday. 5sos landed in Korea on Friday though, and I went to see them at the airport. 

I was really really so fucking nervous to see them for the first time and I wasn’t even completely sure if I had the right flight info so things were kinda crazy. I remember that day bcuz my friends and I went to the movie theater to watch the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast and we also took pictures in the mall’s photo booth that day. We were originally going to have dinner together too but I saw that luke had posted a story of him in what looked like an airplane so i apologized to my friends and I headed home so that I could make my way to the airport. I used the LAX and Incheon airport website to figure out what flight they were on and then started to get ready.I hadn’t written my letters in advance even though I had already bought their gifts so I wrote down a few lines for each member with shaking hands. I also wrote a longer letter that was addressed to the band as a whole where I wrote down a bunch of things that I really liked to do in Seoul should they get the chance. I don’t remember the specifics of what I wrote though, I wish I took pictures of what I said to them. I remember the flight was supposed to arrive around 9:40 pm that night so I left my house at around 7:30 pm. That was probably one of my first times ever skipping a meal because I did not have dinner that day. For their gifts I got Luke a set of temporary tattoos bc he didnt have any at the time and I thought it would be funny. I got Michael a mask that said 접근금지 which is basically do not approach bc I knew he was antisocial like me and maybe he could make use of it. I got Ashton a bandanna, which I knew he hadn’t worn since 2014 but in the summer of 2017 bandannas were a really big fad in South Korean fashion and I thought it was a really funny coincidence. And finally for Calum I got matching towels for him and Duke. I remember when they stepped out into the airport I couldn’t breathe. Like, I was quite literally shaking and I couldn’t even scream. I love all four of them but I knew who’s lane I was in so I made a beeline for Calum. I tried to wait patiently but honestly I was about to start hyperventilating and people were pushing me so I just made my way up to him and asked him to sign my iPod touch which was what I carried around with me at the time because I wasnt allowed to have a smartphone until I graduated high school. Honestly I wasn’t even able to say anything because I was so nervous I just handed him the iPod and the pen and he knew what to do. Either way he signed it for me and my hands were shaking the entire time I couldn’t believe it. It is still one of my most prized posessions. I handed him my gifts that I had put into this blue ryan (the lion) shopping bag and went “this is for you” honestly i was shaking so hard and looking back I am impressed that I was even able to get out those words. He looked at the gifts and then back at me and went 

“For me? Aww, thank you”

let me tell you I nearly fucking died. He said aww to me. CALUM HOOD. SAID AWW. TO ME. fuck. And then I forgot how to talk and somebody else butted in and pushed me out of the way so I didnt get to ask him for a picture. Once I regained my senses I somehow made my way back and got a selfie with him. I later put that photo into my portion of my school’s yearbook when I graduated so that everybody in our school was forced to have a copy. While we were taking the photo my right should slightly touched him and let me tell you that felt really weird. Not to be pervy, it was just something that happened. But then they had to leave and I followed them out to their van and waved until the van was out of sight. I took the subway home that day just like how I got to the airport. I was shaking during both rides out of either anticipation or disbelieve, the difference is that on the way home I cried a little bit. 

Two days later was the day of the festival. I am going to try to keep the other details shorter but I left really earlier. I was alone that day bc I decided I would rather not show others what I looked like during their performance. I left my house and I got to the festival grounds around nine, they started letting people in at ten. I immediately ran to the main stage where they would be performing later and six so that I could wait while holding onto the fence (of course I positioned myself so that I was right in front of where Calum would be standing). We had to wait in line again because we weren’t allowed in until twelve. That day I was wearing my waste the night shirt which is still one of my favorite pieces of merch with a pair of pink shorts. I starved the entire day that day and I also made sure not to drink anything so that I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom. I instead took 에이스 which is a type of really high calorie cracker so that I wouldn’t pass out. I also took 박카스 (a small version of energy drink) so that I could take one right before the performance to enjoy the show to the full extent. Around one o’clock bands started to play and I cheered them on with the rest of the crowd because honestly they weren’t bad and I do enjoy music festivals as a whole. But I made sure not to jump around to save up my energy. After a few bands had played, I would say around 3ish maybe the staff were getting the stage ready for the next performers and I was sitting with my back against the fence when somebody tapped my shoulder. 

When I turned around there was this lady and her friend who looked to be in their early twenties (I was seventeen at the time) and she asked me if I liked 5sos, I bet she could tell from my shirt. I told her I loved them and she said she thinks that some guy who was watching the stage from afar was Ashton, as in the drummer and that I should go and say hi. Honestly, this is one of the things that I regret most in my life, I was so surprised I forgot to thank her. I just said “really?” and then grabbed my selfie stick with my ipod attached and I ran off. Thinking back that was so rude of me this woman literally went out of her way to help me and I just ran on her. Ugh, I still think about this sometimes.

Anyways so there I was running and he was looking at the crowd waiting in front of the stage. I would say he was at about a 4? 5ish o’clock angle from the stage. When I approached him I saw that it really was Ashton and he had a body guard next to him, it wasn’t dave. The guard seemed to get wary as I approached but Ashton stepped up first and said hello to me. I am literally about to cry just remembering. I was so fucking nervous. He was wearing the white and black checkered shirt he wore on stage that day. He didn’t have his sunglasses on. Back to what happened, shit i’m shaking rn just remembering fuck. He smiled and said hello to me in a really friendly, approachable way. I was timid as fuck and so nervous so I whispered hi back. He laughed and said hi again and myself being the dumbass I am I said hi again too. This back and forth exchange of hi’s happened about four or five times, each time with ashton smiling bigger than the last and me getting closer and closer to tears just because I was so overwhelmed. Finally he busted out laughing and said “you are so adorable”

ashton. ashton irwin. ashton called me adorable. fuck. I think it was around this point that I forgot how to breathe. I spat out how much I love the band and their music. I was totally blubbering and making a mess out of myself. I was approaching tears at that moment but they hadn’t fallen yet and it was at this point that as he was thanking me and called me adorable a second time (!!) (he said something like “you are too adorable” ohmyfuckinggod), ashton went in for a hug. Whether it would have been a side hug or a full hug I will never know because I was too nervous and overwhelmed to notice. I only realized that he was going to hug me after we had parted ways. I still kick myself to this day. I should have let him hug me fuck. either way he opened up his right arm for me to step in but I didn’t move BECAUSE I DIDNT NOTICE. COME ON BITCH UGH FUCK. either way he just smiled, laughed and thanked me. I honestly wasn’t in my right mind. I told him that I went to see them at the airport but I knew he wouldn’t remember me so I just kept talking. The next thing I said to him was so fucking... ugh. I literally went “Michael is soo hot. Like, I knew he was hot but when I saw him at the airport I was so surprised because he was so much hotter than I thought he was going to be” fuck.

This is true. Personally I find all four of the boys really attractive but it’s true that people in the fandom even back then would call michael the ugly one. The reason I felt strong enough about this to say to Ashton was because when I went to the airport and saw them all in person for the first time, the other three pretty much looked exactly how I thought they would. They looked the same as when I saw them through the screen. But Michael, honestly he looked so much better in person. I dont know how to say it, but he was just one of those people who the camera never did justice. Everybody else was amazingly hot, just like they are on screen, but Michael honestly looked so much better in person. To be fair, I was shocked, and I felt really bad for him because he gets so much hate online for being “ugly” when that was far from the case.

Back to when I met Ashton. I hadn’t expected this meeting to happen, you know, so I had no idea what to say and the comment about michael being hot literally just flew out of my mouth. I didn’t have time to think okay I was totally put on the spot and I was just, I’m just surprised I didn’t faint. Thankfully, he busted out laughing again, and I got to hear that fucking beautiful laugh. The security guard cracked a smile at that one too. I am honestly still so embarrassed about this ugh what did i do. Either way, Ashton laughed at what I said and then told me he would make sure to tell Michael. It was at this point that I figured I had overstayed my welcome. I hadn’t realized it at first because I was too excited about the opportunity to meet him but I felt like I was taking up too much of his time. He probably just wanted to get a look at the stage and here I was, a crazy fan barely breathing, probably red in the face telling him how much I love him and how hot I thought his band member is. Fuck, it’s still humiliating to this day. At least he probably won’t remember it. So i’m the only one left with the embarrassing memory. And here I am writing it all down so that I never forget. 

I quickly asked him if he could tell Calum that I love him. He didn’t hear me at first and said “huh?” I repeated myself and he said he would. And I know that that was incredibly cringey of me but fuck it I said what I said. It was true and it is still true. Honestly, if I ran into Ashton in the streets tomorrow, I would still ask him to tell Calum that I love him because that is just how true that statement is. I then told him that I would be going. I remember mumbling something like “I don’t want to bother you” At this point I still couldn’t properly breathe. He said something along the lines of “oh no, you’re not bothering me” but I knew better and said “no, it’s okay.” And that’s how the interaction ended. I told him I hoped he had a good time in South Korea and I walked back to the stage where I had placed my bag to save my spot. I looked back a couple of times while I was walking and he waved, which I of course had to wave back to. Once I got to my spot I spent a few minutes trying to breathe. When I looked back to where he was he and the body guard were gone. 

A few things about this interaction. First, something I feel absolutely horrible about is that I never told him that I love him. I know it probably doesn’t matter because he’s Ashton Irwin and I’m just a fan but still. I told him how much I love his band and their music and his bandmates, fuck I even asked him to pass along the message to Calum that I love him yet I didn’t tell him that he is also somebody that I love so, so, so fucking much. I still feel so horrible about this to this day I regret it so much. This is what happens when people who are not good at talking to others are suddenly put into a conversation, they forget everything that they want to say, everything that they mean and that they should say and instead just spit out bullshit like omg ur bandmate is so much better looking in person honestly what the fuck drew. that was honestly unintentionally so rude of me. I FORGOT TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM. I FORGOT TO TELL SOMEONE I LOVE WITH ABSOLUTELY MY ENTIRE HEART THAT I LOVE HIM!! honestly what is the matter with me.

The second thing i wanted to add in is the fact that I didn’t get a picture. When I ran towards him it was with my selfie stick and iPod in hand, but I made sure to keep it down in case he didn’t want to take pictures because while we were in a public setting this still wasn’t work time for him and I didn’t want to ask him to take a picture with me if he didn’t want to. And while he didn’t directly say no pictures he had to have noticed my selfie stick but he didn’t say anything that implied he was cool with taking pictures right now so I just didn’t ask. I thought it would be a long shot too but I still took it just in case. I told myself as I was walking up to him that unless he brought it up first I wouldn’t ask for a picture so I am completely fine with what happened. I still think I pretty much intruded on his private time so I didn’t want to force him to do anything. 

I still feel really bad that I didn’t get to thank that amazing nice lady who let me know that Ashton was there. Fuck, I looked around for her afterwards and I think I caught a glimpse of her at some point in the crowd but when I got to where she was she was already gone. I wish I could say thank you even now. Honestly, I must have seemed so rude from her point of view. I just was so overwhelmed and I wasn’t thinking properly and I feel so bad to this day. I don’t remember what she was wearing and if I saw her walking along the street I probably couldn’t recognize her but I still am so sorry and sooo thankful. 

The performance that day was the first time I saw 5sos live. Actually, it was the only time so far but I hope that changes soon and I get to see them again when this whole pandemic is over. It was absolutely amazing. I don’t even know how to put it into words. It was just everything I had ever hoped for and more. I took videos the entire time with the limited equipment that I had. I supplied videos that day to 5sos stan twitter update accounts. It was a good time. I think that performance, the 50-minute set was one of the happiest moments of my life. not joking. 

This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. But that’s okay. I’m probably going to be the only one to ever read it anyways and the fact that it’s long means that it’s detailed right? It probably just means that I monologued a shit-ton. The purpose of this blog is for it to be my diary anyways so who cares. 

But still, shit this ended up being pretty long. I guess I’ll have to write about my encounters with 5sos that happened in 2018 and 2019 some other time. Probably after finals, which I am procrastinating from studying for right now. 

Also, I wrote the beginning of this sometime in January I think but it is currently June so yeah that sure says a lot about me I guess. Hopefully, I’ll write again soon bc i sure do have a lot of fucking shit to say.

This has been an entry about the two encounters that I had with 5 seconds of summer back in 2017. I know shit’s pretty bad these days and the fandom is basically on fire constantly but I still wanted to write down the good memories that I have. Hopefully I’ll come back soon to write about the times I saw them in 2018 and 2019. I hope I get to see them this year too, but that’s probably not going to happen. I’ll also come back and add details about these incidents when I remember them later on. I want this to be as detailed as possible so that I can come back and read this again and remember everything. I’m not sick, I just have a bad memory. Better come quick to record what happened the other times I met 5sos before I lose the memories. 

[lifeisntafantasy]

Feminine clothing

So, I have a head-canon were Virgil likes to wear feminine clothes. Not girl clothes, feminine clothes because males can wear feminine clothes and females can wear masculine clothes. There is no such thing as 'girl clothes' or 'boy clothes'. Anyways, I think Virgil likes to wear feminine clothes and he just hides it from the other because he's afraid they'll judge him. (Also, I feel like Virgil also has more of a feminine body so. . yeah) Also, this might be all over the place. Anyways, here's this chapter.

Summary: Virgil wears feminine things and his boyfriends love it.

I don't think there are any trigger warnings, but if you find one tell me.

3rd person p.o.v.

Virgil smiled at himself in the mirror. He really liked the new dress he ordered. It was knee length and purple. It also had little gems on the upper half where his torso was. He had to make sure he got the mail when this dress came. Virgil absolutely loved dressing in skirts, dresses, crop tops, and other feminine things. It made him feel so much better about himself and it made him feel a tiny bit confident about his small, feminine figure.

But he couldn't let the other's know he liked feminine things like this. They knew he had makeup, but they didn't know how much he had. He usually only wore a tiny bit of foundation and eye shadow under his eyes around the others. But he used a lot more when he was by himself. He had a lot of eye shadow, foundation, highlighter, contour, blush, bronzer, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss, and lip liner. (I don't know what half this shit is. I went on the Sephora website to find this shit. I literally looked up 'makeup stuff' and clicked on the first thing that popped up.)

Virgil sighed as he worried about what the others would think if they saw the stuff he had. He decided to do makeup to calm down. He loved doing makeup because it was kind of like art, but on your face.

After some time, Virgil finished his makeup. After doing a base coat of makeup, he did purple smokey eyes, winged, black eyeliner, purple lips, and highlighted his face a bit. (I have no fucking clue what I'm typing. I only know what this shit is bcuz James Charles XD) Virgil smiles as he looks in the mirror at his outfit. The only thing missing is some shoes. Virgil puts on some sparkly, purple, high heels. His smile widens.

Virgil's p.o.v. 

I'm proud of myself. I feel really pretty and confident.

. . . Just not confident enough to show the others.

I know my boyfriends love me and all, but they might think I'm weird for wearing this stuff and they might break up with me and leave me isolated and I will not let that happen.

Anyways, I feel great as I look in the mirror. Usually I don't do too well with my makeup because my hands shake with nerves, but I did really good. I actually did the eyeliner without getting it all over my face. I'm super proud. This dress also makes me feel great.

I have a very feminine body, but that doesn't upset me like it would most guys. I don't want to be all masculine and tough. I like my body, but not near the others. They always tell me I have nothing to be ashamed of, but I'm just really insecure around them. I mean, they're my boyfriends and I want to look nice. And they are all masculine and have muscles and manly bodies, while I have more of a curvy, feminine body. And I love my body but the voice in the back of my mind always tells me that they're gonna think of me weirdly. That's why I wear large hoodies.

But, right now by myself, I feel great. It makes me happy knowing I have something I can do kind of well and feel sort of confident about. I smile and take out my phone to take pictures in the mirror.

My stomach growls and I sigh. I have to leave my room now because, sadly, I can't summon food. I sigh again and put on an extra large hoodie that covers my dress and I take off my heels. I put on some black skinny jeans and put my hood up in case one of my boyfriends are in the kitchen, which is a likely chance. I also put on my headphones. My boyfriends know that if I have my headphones on and my hood on it means I don't really wanna socialize.

Sometimes I just have these days where I feel really introverted and don't wanna talk, so I put my hoodie and headphones on. I've also used this as a way to hide my dresses and makeup.

Anyways, I walk out of my room after making sure my hoodie covers my dress and my hood covers my makeup. I walk into the kitchen to see all of my boyfriends talking. I just walk around them and look into the fridge for something to eat. They stop talking and I can feel them looking at me.

"Heya Virgie!" Patton shouts a little loudly and I flinch a bit. Patton whispers and giggles, "Oops. Sorry."

I just slightly wave at them and keep looking for food. I find some leftover pizza from last night and move to grab the plate. I hear the others gasp.

This time Roman speaks, "Love, are you wearing a dress?" He sounds confused. Oh no. They're judging me. I pull my hoodie down a bit to cover my dress more.

"N-No. ." I mumble as I grab a can of soda and the plate of pizza. I try to walk out of the kitchen quickly before they can keep judging me, but one of Deceit blocks my way out. I look at the floor before he can see my makeup, but apparently I'm too late because Deceit gasps.

"You're wearing makeup, too," Dee sounds like he's judging  me, too. And I can feel all of them looking at me.

"I-I always wear makeup. ." I mumble.

"But you're wearing lipstick today," Dee says and the others gasp. I don't say anything as I stand there, looking at my pizza. I feel someone lift me up from my waist from behind and I yelp. I'm placed on the counter as I keep looking down, now looking at my legs. I see a black shirt in front of me so I'm guessing it's Logan who picked me up and placed me on the counter. Logan pulls my hoodie down and lifts my head up by my chin so the others can see my face. I don't look at the others and keep my eyes cast downwards.

Logan unzips my hoodie and pulled it off of my torso so they can see my dress. They all gasp but don't say anything for a few moments and I start to fidget. Roman was the first to speak

"Wow. You look. . . Astonishing!" I look at him to see him smiling then I look at the others to see them nodding in agreement.

Patton jumps up and down, clapping his hands, "You look so cute!!"

Logan nods, "You do indeed look fantastic."

Deceit smiles, "You look great, Vee."

I smile and blush a bit, "Thanks. ." I mumble.

Logan gives me a kiss on my forehead and steps back, "I have a question though. Why are you wearing jeans? Usually people don't wear pants with dresses."

"I uh. . Wasn't really planning on letting you guys know I wear this stuff so I took off my heels and put on jeans and a hoodie to cover my dress. ."

Roman gasps, "You have heels?!" He screeches and I flinch a bit and nod.

Deceit looks at Roman, "Calm the hell down. You know Virgil doesn't like shouting." Roman gives me an apologetic look and Dee looks at me," Could you go show us how you were originally dressed?"

I hesitantly nod and slip off the counter, "I'll be right back I guess. ." I walk to my room and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. They didn't think I'm weird for dressing like this and, from their reactions, they thought I looked nice. I smiled to myself as I took off my jeans and slipped on my purple heels.

I walk out of my room and my heals clicked on the hard wood floor with every step I took. I hear Patton screech, excitedly. I walk into the kitchen and my boyfriends all smile.

Dee walks over to me and gives me a peck on the lips and grabs my waist, "You look perfect." I blush and my boyfriends nod in agreement.

I smile, "Thanks." Then my stomach growls again, "I'm hungry so let me eat my pizza and soda." My boyfriends laugh as I push away from Deceit and rush to my pizza.

3rd person p.o.v.

The rest of the day was spent cuddling and Virgil's boyfriends gushing over how beautiful and adorable he looked.

And from that day forward, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence to see Virgil walking around the mind palace wearing feminine clothing and makeup.

[wiihtigo]

for the ask meme. uhmmmmm todomatsu matsuno sixth son of the matsuno family?

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them

i think what i like most of all is that hes so severely the baby brother no matter how much he tries to escape from it hes like a layered onion where on the outside hes a sweet baby boy and then underneath hes the devil and then underneath again hes a baby and then underneath that hes the devil and it keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on and on. He and choromatsu are the two of the brothers that obviously try the most to be independent and escape the neet lifestyle and climb up the social ladder but deep inside his devil heart he still wants and needs his brothers to be with him and really struggles with feelings of loneliness. When they teased him in the movie being like AWW LOL YOU LOVED YOUR BROTHERS LOL and hit him int he head and hes like IM GONNA KILL YOU i laughed so much. also the fact hes actually a lot nicer than youd expect him to be is something i find really endearing about totty

least favorite thing about them

his gay little straw boater hat does not look trendy and cute to me bitch im sorry i like his beanie hat with his sweater outfit better

favorite line

IN THE MOVIE WHEN HES MEETING HIS YOUNGER SELF AND IS LIKE YOU STUPID VIRGIN AND 18TOTTY WAS LIKE what if im asexual did you ever think about that BITCH and todomatsu is like HOLY SHIT YOURE ANNOYING and slaps the shit out of him made me laugh SO hard

brOTP

i really like beni and zaimoku! sue too

OTP

ummm nothing really. this is really the extent of my thoughts on totty in a relationship

nOTP

nothng really again just that my vision of him and atushi is so different from popular interpretation bcuz its just using him as a convenient cardboard cutout guy for the above tweets. i wouldnt say i hate it though i just think its funnier to imagine theyre funnytoxic

random headcanon

his respect for karamatsu as an older brother shot up a bit after 24

unpopular opinion

metrosexual totty (hit with tomatoes)

song i associate with them

um. i dunno

favorite picture of them

obsessed with this forever

[thorne93]

Whirlwind Romance (Part 14)

Prompt: You’re getting married to Chris Evans… Everything in your life is perfect… Except when you break the news to your two best friends: Tom Hiddleston and Sebastian Stan

Word Count: 2352

Warnings: language, anger, angst, adult themes??

Notes: This is for @carryonmyswansong challenge (Double Season, Multifaceted, 500 Follower Celebration, Writing Challenge!): Prompt – You’re marrying the wrong person! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes bcuz shes amazing and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo@carryonmyswansong for letting me brainstorm with them. Got this idea from @formyfandoms… Fic image made by the super bomb @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks seemed to fly by and you and Chris were never better. After making up at the bar, you two really did seem to resolve your differences. At least now planning the wedding seemed better strategized, even if the magic of it wasn’t exactly there.

But it couldn’t be, right? You two had demanding jobs, and you couldn’t just blow off the world to plan a wedding. Not everything could be magical and fairytale like. The real world had to come first.

You were in Boston for part of the shooting for your film, meaning Tom was there as well, and since you were so close to Chris, you stopped by his place as soon as you were done shooting. When you got there, you were indeed surprised to find a few cars out front.

You groaned to yourself as you walked up the driveway, luggage in hand. “Ugh, Chris, what are you doing now?” you wondered aloud as you got your keys to his place out.

Slipping the key in the door, you hoped it was just some sort of boys get together so you could collapse onto his bed. But alas, it was not.

When you opened the door, you found some of Chris’s close friends, and some of yours. Tom, Seb, Lizzie, AJ, and Misha were there. Then there was six of Chris’s friends there, sipping on wine as they laughed and cut up with him. The sight of Seb made a ball of dread hit your stomach. You hadn’t spoken to him since you were at his apartment, now you had to pretend like he wasn’t in love with you… in your fiance’s house.

He turned slightly and saw you were here.

“Oh! Hey, babe! Hey! Come in, come in,” he said, rushing over to take your bags. You stared around you in confused awe.

“Chris? What is all this?”

“Well, I wanted to sort of apologize for our little fight,” he said quietly while the guests began to talk amongst themselves. “I know how much you love everyone getting together, so I threw us a little dinner party. Sort of celebrating you being in town, closer to home and me. Plus it’s a chance to see everyone.”

You nodded and glanced to your friends who smiled and raised their glasses at you. You gave a polite smile back before turning your attention back to Chris. “Uh, did you think to ask me? I had a long day…”

“I know, I know. But look, I cooked. You don’t have to do a thing except sit, eat, and talk,” he assured as he started to usher you to the dining room table.

You sighed as you sat down and noted the amazing spread. “Well, this does look pretty good,” you commented.

“Atta girl.” He kissed your head and called everyone over to start eating dinner.

As soon as everyone got seated and situated, the good time and festivities began. Everyone went around discussing work, projects, family, events they’d been to, award shows coming up. A lot of questions came at you and Chris about the wedding which you happily answered now.

By the end, Chris and his friend Trevor started clearing plates and cleaning up, while everyone else milled about. Sebastian was standing in a corner of Chris’s living room, looking at a picture of the two of you. You had been stealing glances at him all night. Sometimes your eyes met, and he would give you these warm smiles. But as his best friend, you could tell something was still off. The dynamic between you two had shifted on its head.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” you quietly noted, stepping up beside him.

He broke his stare at your photo and turned to look at you.

“Well yeah, we're still best friends.”

“Are we?” you asked, a bit of concern in your voice.

“Of course, Y/N. What happened happened. I just hope we can move past it. I’d rather have you in my life, as my best friend, than not at all. Yeah it really fuckin’ hurts, but at least you know, so you’re making an informed decision.”

You reached up and gripped his bicep, giving him a gentle smile. “Thank you. I appreciate that. I hope you know how hard it was for me, and I know how hard it was for you. I’m glad we can move on.”

“Me too. I miss you.”

“Me too,” you agreed, smiling at him.

---------------------

Things seemed to shift a little bit more normal for a while after that. Seb and you started texting again, a phone call here or there. Chris and you were back to not fighting and just being happy together and getting shit done. Lizzie was handling maid-of-honor stuff like a champ while she worked on her projects. Tom and you were busting your ass for this film.

After working nine days straight, sixteen hours every day, you finally got a day off. You really wanted to catch up on some much needed sleep, but a certain best friend had something else in mind for you.

A knock came at the door around four in the afternoon. You’d been awake since early morning, due to your schedule, but you were just about to lay down for a nap when the knock sounded. Half of you really wanted to ignore it. But the politeness in you kicked into overdrive and you walked over to the door, opening it to reveal Sebastian.

“Sebastian, hey,” you said, sounding surprised.

“Hey… you busy?”

“Well, I was about to sleep so yeah,” you said with a laugh.

“Eh, come on, you can sleep any time. I’m in town for an interview, thought I’d swing by and take you out tonight.”

“I’d love to, Seb, I’m just exhausted and I’d rather sleep.”

“And I’d rather hang out with you. How about you sleep while I drive? Does that work?”

You bobbed your head side to side. “Yeah, that’ll work.”

You grabbed your keys, your purse, and phone before tossing the keys to Sebastian and sliding in the passenger side of your car. “So where are we going?”

“Don’t worry, it’s only about an forty five minute drive from here.”

“Damn… I wanted more time to sleep.”

Sebastian laughed as he started the car and pulled away. Fulfilling the deal, you slipped into sleep before he even got out of the driveway. Within seconds, it seemed, you were opening your eyes as Sebastian gently stirred you.

“We’re here.”

You rubbed your eyes and peeked out of your windshield.

“Are we…?”

“Santa Monica Pier,” he informed with a grin.

“You took me to an amusement park when I’m dead on my feet?” you groaned.

He rolled his eyes and laughed. “You know you’re gonna love it. Come on.”

To your utter dismay, he was right -- you loved it. You were having a blast with Sebastian. The two of you had played almost a dozen carnival games, you rode all the fast and high rides. By now, the pier was starting to thin out, as the night got later and later. The sun had just been setting when you got here, but now it was dark, save for all the neon and flashing lights, and there was just the slightest chill in the air from the ocean waves.

The two of you were just walking along now, waiting for anything to strike your fancy, as you carried a small pink teddy bear that you and Sebastian had collaboratively won.

“Thank you, for bringing me out,” you said gently, chancing a glance at him. Things were still a little awkward around him, at least for you. You felt like you were walking on eggshells, worried to not do anything that might lead him on. You couldn’t kiss his cheek anymore, you couldn’t be extra sweet and cutesy with him, you couldn’t joke about just how truly gorgeous he really was.

No, now you had to think and rethink every little word you said to him and how you said it.

It was positively maddening.

But you couldn’t fault anyone. You’d never led Sebastian on, and you didn’t think that’s why he was in love with you. He didn’t confess his feelings to you to strain your relationship. You were sure if you were in love with someone who was in love with someone else, you’d eventually tell them too. Life’s too short to not let the people you love know.

That didn’t make this situation any easier for you, and certainly not for him.

“I’m glad you’re having fun. I told you you would.”

“I never should’ve doubted you,” you teased, gently bumping his shoulder with yours as you walked along, letting the ocean mist waft through your hair.

“See? Isn’t this nice? Just the two of us?” he asked, playfulness in his tone.

You nodded. “Yeah, I’ve missed this.”

“Missed this or missed me?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” you wondered, worried about where he was going with this.

“Not to me,” he adamantly said, looking up and forward, shaking his head.

Groaning and halting in your tracks, you ask, “Seb why are you doing this to me? Why are you pushing this?”

He turned to face you, his expression nothing but serious. “Because I love you, Y/N. And you’re marrying Chris and I can’t help but feel like I need to give this my best shot before you go through with it.”

You pressed your lips into a firm line, shaking your head. You couldn’t meet his eyes as the anxiety twisted in your stomach. “This is just making it so much harder for me.”

“And if you knew you were sure about Chris, it wouldn’t be making it harder, would it? If you were sure, if you knew deep in your gut, nothing I’m saying or doing would have any effect on you.”

“I know… that’s why I hate this.” Your eyes slid to meet his, the first time you ever uttered this. Sebastian was right, all the time, on everything. He was right when he said that if you didn't love him, you wouldn't have come to his apartment to demand answers. He was right that this shouldn’t be bothering you. All you would have to do is say, “No Sebastian. I don’t love you. Drop it.” In a way, you’d said it. You’d said all those things, in a roundabout way. But you couldn’t actually form those final words to end this.

“Come here,” he said softly, lifting his arms slightly, to invited you into his arms. You accepted the invitation, and he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your hair. The two of you let go of each other. “I’m not trying to make this hard on you. I love you too much to do that. But I can't deny myself my feelings or you. I’d hate to look down the road ten or twenty years and realized we missed our chance, you know?”

“I don’t want that either, but I don’t want it with Chris either. You aren’t a pair of shoes or a car, Sebastian. This is our future we’re talking about. Chris’ future too. If I leave him, it’s not just my life I’m changing.”

He nodded. “I know. He’s my best friend. I'm not doing this to be a problematic prick. I’m doing it because if I thought I had a sliver of a chance with you, then you should know.”

“And I’m proud of you for doing that. If it was any other girl, I would say go for it, but right now… it’s me, and that’s a totally different world.”

“Look, you don’t have to decide tonight. I would say the sooner the better, but on your wedding day, you’ll be all dressed in white, a pretty veil on your pretty head” -- he stroked your hair as you closed your eyes --”and you’ll look in the mirror. One of two things will happen: you’ll be ecstatic, ready to run headlong down the aisle to Chris. Or your stomach will knot, and your heart will feel heavy, and you’ll know.”

“And what if neither of those happen?” you wondered quietly.

“Then you’ll know too. I’m not trying to tear you and Chris apart or anything. If you love him, and you really see your life with him, I’m happy to step aside and let you have your happy ever after. I’ll stand on the altar behind Chris and smile at you, encouraging you. If you really see your future with him, I’ll back off. But you’re so hesitant to tell me to fuck off, I can’t wonder if I’m right.”

He took your hands in his, holding both of yours together as he cupped them from the outside.

“And I know how sweet and caring and compassionate you are, so I know the idea of ending something solid with Chris, even if it’s on a hunch is scary. I know you don’t want to get hurt, or hurt Chris or anything like that. I get you aren’t taking this lightly, and you shouldn’t… But until you can honestly look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel anything romantic for me, I’m not giving up.”

You nodded, listening to him. You hated this. You hated how you couldn’t just tell him what you should be able to tell him. You should be able to tell him you don’t love him like that, and mean it down in your core. But something in you made you second guess that conviction.

“I’m not leaving Chris,” is all you said.

He let your hands go, a sort of disappointed smile on his face. He held up his hands in surrender.

“Alright. I’m done. Just know, I’m here waiting. I’m not going to drive you away with me being pushy. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or fuck up our friendship.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.”

He threw his arm around you before he decided to take you home for the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tags:

@essie1876

@magpiegirl80

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please

@superwholocked527

@missinstantgratification

@thejemersoninferno

@rda1989

@munlis

@thefridgeismybestie

@bubblyanarocks3

@igiveupicantthinkofausername

@kaliforniacoastalteens

@feelmyroarrrr

@kaeling

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo

@damalseer

@heyitscam99

@yknott81

@sorryimacrapwriter

@glitterquadricorn

@xxqueenofisolationxx

@little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama

@bittersweetunicorm

@alyssaj23

@sea040561

@princess76179

@thisismysecrethappyplace

@sarahp879

Tom Hiddleston:

@camigt1999

@lenawiinchester

@esoltis280

Sebastian Stan:

@nedthegay

@lostinspace33

@alwayshave-faith

@elleatrixlestrange

@buenostardissherlock

@lenawiinchester

@the-red-world-of-jess-chibi

@memory-of-a-goldfish

@shamptain-shmerica

@crazybutconfidentaf

@esoltis280

@alwayshave-faith

Chris Evans:

@nedthegay

@camigt1999

@lostinspace33

@alwayshave-faith

@elleatrixlestrange

@lenawiinchester

@mellsstark

@esoltis280

@patzammit

WR Tag:

@gaylemonshark @tacohead13

@seabasstiantrash

@nerdy-bookworm-1998

@berruneko09

[johobi]

✨YOURE HONESTLY SO GOOD AT KEEPING READERS ON THEIR TOES & MAKING IT SO HARD TO PREDICT THE ENDING OF THIS FIC IN REGARDS TO WHO OC WILL END UP W/ & AN EXPLANATION TO CHAOS THATS OCCURRED IN HER RELATIONSHIP W/ JUNGKOOK IM JUST ASDFGHJKL THIS LAST CHAPTER HAS ME SCREAMING OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH BUT IM JUST SO SHDKDNDK like omg that whole thing with tae?!?! i’m happy she’s had her lil thing with her bff who she’s loved since like forever but bUT /BUT/ 1/?

✨thAT SCENE OH DEAR GOD THAT SCENE (well written btw i was really horny by the end of it 😂) like she was in an emotional ally vulnerable place rn and i just don’t think what went on with tae was the smartest idea and i honestly don’t trust what she’s feeling rn bcuz idK IF SHE LOVE TAE OR GUK WOMAN NEEDS SOME TIME TO JUST RECUPERATE IF ANYTHING like i want her to be with jungkook cuz i’m convinced he had a reasonable explanation for all this but after she fucked tae?? 2/?

((more under read more))

She was definitely in an emotionally vulnerable and chaotic place. Whether what transpired is what she truly wanted, we’ll have to see in the next chapter. But her feelings for Tae are certainly genuine; it’s just a case of where Jungkook factors into it all, now. She really loves them both. But in what way? How has her love for them evolved over the span of the fic? HMMM.

✨ i don’t feel like they would be able to get past (plus he lied to her for three months was it?? pretty hard to forgive someone about that too aHHH) & that last line dear god ur a fucking brilliant have i mentioned that? i’m sitting there like “dAMN OC & TAE IS GUNNA BE IT” & u pull that last line & now i’m here like gURL WTF IT WAS SO VAGUE (which is whY I CANT TELL WHO SHELL END UP W/ & FIGURE ANYTHING OUT UR A GODDAMN QUEEN & I LOVE YOU) LIKE WAS IT A GOOD DREAM? BAD DREAM? 3/?

Jungkook is gonna find out what happened between her and Tae in the next chapter. He’s in the wrong, for sure, but how will he react to this? How he does will seal his fate. If he’s indignant and aggressive, despite the fact he is the one that fucked up their relationship, then the reader, feisty thing that she is, seems like the type to shut him down immediately (and considering Tae is now in the picture, Kook being angry will not end well for him). If he’s remorseful and understanding, there could be room for a dialogue. 

Alkdjalkj that last line was intentionally vague. It seems like a 50/50 split as to whether people think it’s a good or bad dream ;PPP

✨UGHUGHUGH SO MANY QUESTIONS I WANT ANSWERED LIKE WHY DIDNT JUNGKOOK SAY ANYTHING FOR SO LONG? WHY WAS HE SO SCARED TO JUST BE OPEN ABOUT IT IF THERE WAS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION? I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND HOWS IS FIANCÉ DOING BCUZ UHM MS UR BOY IS A C H E A T E R aND what’s gunna happened when oc and tae wake up oOF like will it still be all happy lovey dovey or oc gunna be like i fUCKED UP bcuz she wasn’t in the best place emotionally 4/?

I won’t spoil how the reader comes by the info, but everything about Jungkook will be explained next chapter. It’s a good 50/50 split between him and Tae this time. And yeah the fic will pick up the next morning, so we’ll certainly see how that goes ;)

✨like she just found out her boyfie been cheating on her yOU DONT GO SCREW HER BRAINS OUT ON THE SAME DAY SHE FINDS OUT HER BOYFIE SCREWED HER OVER TAE GDI ughhhh i made this super long i’m sorry i just needed to let this all out and tell u i love u and ur amazing and honestly i’ll wait a million years for the next update bcuz if this is the content ur blessing us with it’s worth it all !!! sending all my love ur way

Please don’t apologise for sending me so many asks!!!! It was a joy to read them all and all the things you liked in particular and what parts of the story got to you the most!!! 

asldkjjj it’s very true that Tae kinda just fell into bed with her without much thought. But I think, to his credit, he did rebuff her on her first attempt because he could tell she was off (if only he could see inside her head and the extent of it tho). The confession caught him so off-guard - again, he wouldn’ve rebuffed her, likely, if she hadn’t reiterated it repeatedly - that it must have set his world askew. Because he’s obviously been harbouring feelings, too, and when the person you love most is pouring them out to you sincerely, kissing you back this time, then… I can’t blame him. I try to stay unbiased and look at my characters objectively, and after examining his actions in this chapter, I think his heart led him into their tryst. 

[no-jams-hyung]

Bts reaction to their gf calling while break down crying telling them to come over

Bts were having a practice when suddenly they recieve a phone call from their gf. They heard their gf breakdown crying and they leave to go to their gf as fast as they can.

DON’T READ THIS IF THIS TRIGGER ANY OF THE READER PAST!

JIN

Jin: “Hello Jagiyah~ your house is near to the company so why are you calling? do you miss me that much?”

GF: “Jin......I......Come....Ho.....me...” 

This was when Jin drop his phone and run out from the practice room to go to her house that is near. He would then enter the door passcode with shaking hand wondering what could have happen to her. Then he open the door and see her in the corner crying while hugging yourself. The scene break his heart into piece. And that’s when he knew that the nightmare you used to have before meeting him have come back to haunt you. So he walk slowly to your side and embrace you tightly in his harm and kiss your forehead.

“Don’t you worry, if they ever come back to harm or harass you, I will beat the pulps outta them. I promise, I will protect you from any harm so don't cry anymore my princess.”

His word secure her and his embrace make her feel safe so she fall sleep right in his arm. ( Jin is such a loving bf, I want him too )

RAP MONSTER

Rap mon was chilling in his studio and then he receive a phone call from his beloved gf but

RP: “Yo babe what sup? Miss me?” 

GF: “Mon......nie.......I.......need......u.....”

Upon hearing her cry, he drop his phone and leave his studio as fast as he could cuz she need him. As he open the door to her room, he saw her bailing his out with a picture of her parent who have passed away in a car accident, she's the only survival so she always blame herself for asking her paren to go to the beach until she meet rap monster. It came once in a while and namjoon was always there when she wake up with bad dream until now and he can't help but run to pick her and put her in his lap then hug her like there’s no tmr.

RP: “Hey...babe...hey....it was never your fault and I'm sure they don't want to see their beautiful crying like this. I'm sure they are in a peaceful place now. So don't cry anymore, it’s in the past now. I'm here for you.” 

His words have always been a cure to her deep scar heart and you always ended up falling asleep in his arm cuz she feel like it’s the safest place in this scary world.

SUGA

Suga and his gf have always been homie and lover. She support him through his breakdown and you always how yoongi love music. She always give suga his space but one evening suga was writing some music for her cuz her birthday is coming. He wanted to show how he appreciate her cuz he's not good with expression. Then suddenly he got a phone call from her.

Suga: “yeah? if you're going to ask where I am then I am in the studio.”

GF: “The.....m-m-me-memories.....it’s...b-back.”

Yoongi stood up and rush out of his studio. Yoongi arrive at her house and the image he saw is just like he was then when he have a moment of breakdown. He walk to her and hug her with his might. She have always been the one to support him so now he wanted to support you and protect her. 

Suga: “Babe, don’t blame yourself for her suicide. It wasn't your fault, you were busy and you don't even live together. Seriously, your sister wouldn't want you to blame yourself for her suicide. Don't cry anymore, I am here for you and I will always be.”

His soft comfort was the best comfort her ever get since the incident. She feel safe and peaceful in his arm and she find herself smiling instead of crying.

JHOPE

Jhope have always been used to comforting his gf cuz she's such a whiny little baby. But later that day he receive a phone call from her.

JH: “WHATSUP SUNSHINE! DO YOU MISS ME ALREADY?? AIGOO OPPA MISS YOU TOO!”

GF: “Hoseok-ah I-I’m s-scared....it-it won’t go away!”

Jhope just drop his phone and ran toward your hard as fast as he can. When he open the door and see you shaking with fear was what shatter his heart completely!

GF: “it-it won't go away. The memories keep coming back....fire are everywhere....I'm scared! Make it stop! Please!”

JH: “No No no huni, there's no fire here *he hug tightly* see? I am here, don't be afraid! You're safe and sound now, lovely. I am here...shhhh...”

He assure for a few minute and she calm down and then he cook her food then cuddle her all night. Hoping the memories would go away. 

JIMIN

Jimin have always love his beloved noon cuz she give him the love he could ever asked but there’s something that he keep from her cuz he's afraid that it would break her apart cuz she hate seeing someone hurting her precious Mochi. But later that day he got a phone call from her telling him to come home right away. He then hurried home bcuz she sounded shaky.

JM: “Noona, why you call me back home so suddenly.”

GF: “Chim chim-ah.....*she talk while bailing her eyes out* why did you hide this from me??? Have you always been recieving.....this? H-ho-How could this to such an angel? how could they say all those stuff about you when they don't even know you? why?....”

He have to kiss her to shut her from asking those heartbreaking question. He couldn't say any word but to hug her tight so she know that as long as he have then nothing else matter.

TAEHYUNG

Taehyung have always been with you through your dark past. But one night when he was practicing he receive a phone call from her and she was shaking and panicking. 

GF: “Tae, h--he’s b-back. H-he’s going to kill me tae.....I didn't mean to kill him.....help me tae!”

Tae knew that the nightmare have coming back knocking on your doorstep so he rush to your place as fast as he could. And he reach there, he saw you shaking in fear...heavy panting looking around.

TAE: “*he have to hug her tight to her squirming telling him to let go coz she thought that he was her step dad so he have to scream and that’s when he stop” NOONA! YOUR FATHER IS DAD AND HE IS NOT GOING TO COME AND HURT YOU! AND IF HE DOES, I AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU PLUS YOU KILL HIM TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND PRIDE SO DON’T BE SCARED, DO YOU HEAR ME??”

She then realize it was her bf and hug him tight calling his name over and over again till she fall asleep in his arms. He wish to never let it happen again cuz it’s heart breaking to see her like this.

JUNGKOOK

Jungkook is always loving and mature but there are time when she go rage and break things but he never once got hurt by it cuz he know she love him and she never want him to see her rage so she always end up in the boxing area so she could release her anger. She is the calm person alive but one topic have always been sensitive to her and that would her parent. She would go rage if she heard about them. So it’s this time of the year where he would get phone call from her 

GF: “I won't be home tonight so eat the food I prepare for you in the refregirator.”

Jungkook think it was about time he see how his gf rage so he went to the address her best friend text him and that’s when he see her punch the sandbag like her life depend on it but what break his heart more is she suddenly broke down crying. Jungkook without even realizing run to her and hug her tightly which took her by surprise. 

GF: “Kookie you are not suppose to be here. GO! I don’t want you to see this ugly side of me so pls leave *she push him lightly and he too broke down crying*

JK: “No, I can't! My gf is hurting right in front of me and I couldn't do anything about it so I want to at least hug you with all my heart. So pls noona!” 

They ended up hugging each other tightly and fall asleep in each other arms. They both wish this moment would last forever. 

I hope you like it!

-Requested By Anon-