#so it’ll both be a nice reprieve from writing and will give me plenty of time to finish each one to be able to post them alongside each

[slimslamflimflam]

Just found out if I stop stressing about “good” writing the fic will actually get written 27,000 dead 572,027,728 injured

[zigsexual]

What sort of love drama takes place in your HP AU (specifically all of the juicy Maxwell/Riley drama)?

me? writing an entire fic in response to this question? putting all the brewing love drama in one single scene? yes bitch i said it !

• • •

“I don’t see why we have to waste our Hogsmede trip just because —“

“Shh!” Riley waves a hand in his face, frowning. “I’m trying to listen to what they’re saying.”

Drake sighs, taking another sip of his butterbeer. They’ve been in this booth for over an hour now, and Riley still refuses to let him leave. Says it’ll ‘look suspicious’ if she’s here by herself.

“Why will it look suspicious?” he’d asked her, but she’d only shushed him, eyes flashing with an intensity he didn’t dare cross.

He’s convinced now that they might never leave, what with Riley attentively focused on the table only a few feet away, where Penelope from Hufflepuff is gazing fondly at Maxwell. She’s leaning forward, her chin resting demurely on her hand, in direct contrast to the way Maxwell is animately telling her some story several decibels above an acceptable volume.

“Really, though,” Drake tries again, “It looks like he’s doing fine, maybe we can just meet him at Honeydukes after like we planned?”

“I have to make sure she isn’t trying to use him,” Riley says, eyes still intently focused on the other table. “He’s too nice, you know. People take advantage of that.”

“I highly doubt anyone is taking advantage of Maxwell.”

She shoots him a glare.

“What? I mean, honestly, what would anyone be using him for?”

“His connections,” Riley says. “You know how his family is.”

“Yeah, I know that they’ve essentially disowned him and there’s no way he’s getting access to any of those ‘connections.’” Drake frowns, surveying her. “Seriously, Riley, why are we here? Can you at least —“

The door to the pub swings open, letting in a gust of freezing air and a slew of Ravenclaws, led at the front by Hana Lee. It doesn’t take her long to spot the two of them, and she waves excitedly, already crossing the room even as Riley ducks her head and hisses, “Shit, she’s gonna blow our cover.”

Drake rolls his eyes at her. “What cover?” 

Hana stops just in front of their booth, pink-cheeked and smiling. She’s still got her scarf wrapped around her neck, all the way up past her chin, Prefect badge neatly affixed as always. “Hi Riley! Drake!”

She pulls off her hat, shaking out her hair, which falls down neatly around her shoulders without so much as a single flyaway. Normally, Drake would chalk it up to magic, but these sorts of things come naturally to Hana. 

Everything comes naturally to Hana.

“We’re —“ Riley starts, but Drake cuts her off: “We’re spying on Maxwell and his date.”

Riley kicks him under the table, but Hana doesn’t seem to notice. She glances over her shoulder, eyes falling on Penelope. “Oh!” She turns back, eyebrows raised. “I didn’t know they were together.”

“They’re not,” Riley says, tone a bit too harsh for her feigned indifference.

“Well, that’s sweet,” Hana smiles. “I’m glad I ran into you guys, actually. Did you know Liam’s staying for holiday this year? He just told me this week, so I promised I’d invite him to all our little traditions. Won’t that be fun?”

“Oh god,” Riley groans dramatically, “Double the Prefects? We won’t be able to get into any shenanigans.”

“There’s plenty we can do without shenanigans —“

“Yeah, plenty of boring things, like reading or studying or reading about studying —”

“You said Liam is staying?” Drake interrupts. Because there’s only one Liam. Hana’s Ravenclaw counterpart, son of the Minister of Magic.

Hana seems grateful from the reprieve from Riley’s teasing. “Yes. He hasn’t mentioned why, but from what I can imagine…”

She’s still talking, but he’s already tuned her out upon hearing the affirmation. He can tell the exact moment Riley does, too, because she suddenly turns towards him with a funny look on her face, the realization beginning to set in.

Her eyes widen, and she whispers, “Oh my god. Hot Prefect.”

“What?” Hana says.

“Nothing. Carry on.” Now it’s Drake’s turn to kick her under the table, because yes — Liam also happens to be the very same boy Maxwell and Riley have spent the better part of two years calling ‘Hot Prefect’ in a continuous effort to embarrass Drake and ultimately drive him to murder them.

(Which, really, there had only been the one time he’d actually said those words, and it was in a moment of weakness after too much stolen firewhiskey, and they truly had no business continuing to bring it up the way they did. It’s not he gives them half as much shit about anything they’ve done.)

“I should have him come say hi,” Hana stands on her tiptoes, surveying the crowded room . “Don’t tell anyone, but I think he’s a bit shy about it all, he could use a chance to get familiar with you.”

“We’d love to get familiar with him,” Riley grins, “Wouldn’t we, Drake?”

He checks to make sure Hana is sufficiently distracted before leaning in close and hissing, “I will crucio your ass, Brooks, don’t think I won’t.”

She sticks her tongue out at him. “As if. You’re like, failing Charms.”

Hana finally spots Liam amongst a group of other Ravenclaws and begins waving at him excitedly, gesturing towards the booth with a smile once she catches his attention. “Liam! Over here!”

Drake’s mouth goes completely dry at his approach.

It’s honestly unfair to just call him hot. He’s devastatingly handsome, like the protagonist of one of Savannah’s regency romance movies (which Drake has definitely not watched): cheeks flushed from the cold, hair a little windblown, dressed in a perfectly fitted navy sweater. When he reaches Hana’s side, he nods to each of them, smiling shyly, and he’s so pretty it hurts — like being hit with a bludger. A love bludger. Fuck.

“Nice to meet you,” Liam says, polite as ever. Riley returns the greeting, but Drake can only stare. 

“Hana tells us you’re joining the motley crew, then?”

“So it seems,” Liam answers. “What should I expect?”

“Hmm.” Riley glances at Drake out of the corner of her eye. “Incredibly sexy singles. Loads of hookups. Maybe an orgy or two.”

Hana laughs nervously, turning to look at Liam with wide eyes. “She’s kidding, obviously. Riley, tell Liam you’re kidding.”

Riley merely raises her eyebrows and takes a sip of her butterbeer. Hana looks mortified, but Liam only laughs, although he’s definitely a bit more flushed than he was before.

There are so few of them who stay over break; the misfits with fucked up families or no families at all. They’ve grown accustomed to each other over the years, a silent acknowledgement of their particular lot in life, and it’s rare anyone adds to the group. 

Especially someone like Liam. 

Hana’s been part of the crew since day one. Her parents aren’t dead, but they are terrible, and she always seemed to relish the chance to be away from them a few weeks more. Each year, she comes up with a new elaborate research project that requires her to stay, an excuse her parents will not only accept, but be proud of. 

“Anyway,” Riley says, finishing off her drink, “If it’s not obvious, I’m Riley. And that’s Drake.” She gestures in his direction, mischief all over her face. “He’s the keeper on Gryffindor’s team. Highly sought after, in case you didn’t know.”

God, he’s going to hex her into next Tuesday when they get back to the castle.

“Liam never goes to the Quidditch games,” Hana says. “I keep trying to convince him.”

Drake and Riley must both look horrified at this admission, because Liam rubs at his neck awkwardly upon seeing their faces. “It’s not that I don’t want to go. I’m just… busy.”

“Too busy for Quidditch?” Riley scoffs.

“Too busy for most things, really,” Liam says. “I’m afraid I’m not much fun.”

Riley leans back in her seat. “Well, we can’t have that if you’re going to be spending Christmas with us.”

“You could come to the match next Friday.” Drake blurts out, before his better judgement can stop him. “We’re playing Slytherin, so you can cheer for us.”

There’s a hint of a smile on Liam’s face. “And what if I only root for Ravenclaw?”

“Well, cheer for me — er, me and Riley — then,” Drake says, suddenly bold. Must be all the butterbeer. “We can be a neutral third party.”

Riley is kicking him under the table again, but he ignores her.

“I’ll think about it,” Liam answers, his shy smile back on his face. This time, however, it’s fully directed at Drake, and the unrelenting focus renders him completely useless.

“Cool,” he manages to reply, voice a little higher than it should be. Riley kicks him harder.

Liam runs a hand through his hair, and the gesture makes Drake’s cheeks go hot. “Maybe we could —“

Before he can say anything else, an unwelcome voice breaks into their conversation, light and airy with a hint of an untraceable (and perhaps manufactured) accent: “We’re about to order, so if either of you want food…”

The girl behind said voice pops into view between Hana and Liam, pausing when her eyes fall on the booth, only for her face to instantly break into a smile so wide it threatens to overtake her whole face. “Hi Drake.”

He avoids eye contact, even though he can feel her gaze boring into him. “…Hi Kiara.”

“And hello to you, too,” Riley quips, rolling her eyes. “Such a warm welcome, as always.”

“Are you joining us?” Kiara asks, ignoring Riley completely. “It’s a house outing, technically, but I’m sure we can make an exception.”

“Oh, no,” Hana says, “We just stopped to say hi, I’m fairly certain they were about to —“

Kiara puts her hand firmly on Hana’s shoulder, effectively shutting down her dismissal. “Again, I’m sure we can make an exception.”

It’s a blessed coincidence that, at the same moment, Penelope and Maxwell finish up and stand to leave, putting Kiara directly in Penelope’s field of vision. Upon seeing her best friend, Penelope squeals loud enough to break through the din of the pub and scurries over to fling her arms around Kiara, sending the other girl stumbling backwards.

“I didn’t know you’d be here!” Penelope says gleefully. “And you brought so many friends!”

Maxwell is close behind her, investigating as well, and his face lights up when he sees Riley and Drake. “Oh, hey! Perfect timing, I was just about to head to Honeydukes.”

He pushes past Hana and slides into the booth alongside Riley, slinging his arm around her shoulder with a grin. “You didn’t say anything about being here too. You should’ve come over and said hi, there was plenty of room.”

Riley rolls her eyes. “You were otherwise occupied.”

Kiara, who has finally put two and two together, looks at Penelope with renewed interest. “You’re here with Maxwell? You didn’t tell me you two were dating.”

“That’s because they’re not,” Riley mutters under her breath.

“We were getting drinks,” Penelope says, smiling vacantly as she often does. It’s a wonder she’s so close with a Ravenclaw; half the time Drake’s convinced there isn’t anything going on in her head. The very idea that she’s somehow capable of ‘taking advantage’ of anyone, let alone Maxwell, should be laughable.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Kiara claps her hands together excitedly. “Maxwell, we should do a double date sometime! Wouldn’t that be fun? You, me, Pen, and Drake.”

“No,” Drake says. 

Kiara just swats at his shoulder, laughing. “You’re so funny! Isn’t he funny?”

“Well,” Hana interjects, looking decidedly uncomfortable at the new influx of people, “I suppose we should get going. The food’s probably ready.”

“It was nice to meet you both,” Liam adds, clearly taking the opportunity to bow out as well. Fucking Kiara.

“Maybe we’ll see you at the match?” Riley shoots him an expectant smile. 

It’s always hard to argue with her enthusiasm, and Liam relents a bit. “Maybe,” he answers, and then Hana is tugging him back towards the bar, Kiara and Penelope — thankfully — following in her wake.

[rp-meme-central]

Good Omens - Episode 3: Hard Times - sentence starters

1. “Not the kids. You can’t kill kids.” 

2. “Oi, ______! That unicorn’s going to make a run for it!” 

3. “What kind of stupid question is that? ‘Still a ______’. What else am I going to be, an aardvark?” 

4. “I’ve never eaten an oyster.” 

5. “Well, let me tempt you to... Oh. No, that’s your job, isn’t it?” 

6. “Is that you under there, _______?” 

7. “So we’re both working very hard in damp places and just cancelling each other out?” 

8. “No! Absolutely not! I am shocked that you would even imply such a thing - we’re not having this conversation! Not another word!” 

9. “I thought you said we’d be inconspicuous here. Blend in among the crowds.” 

10. “This isn’t one of ______’s gloomy ones, is it? Ugh! No wonder nobody’s here.” 

11. “Hard on the buttocks, horses. Major design flaw, if you ask me.” 

12. “If ______ finds out, they won’t just be angry. They’ll destroy you.” 

13. “It’s been like this every performance, ______. Complete dud. It’d take a miracle to get anyone to come and see ______.” 

14. “Animals don’t kill each other using clever machines, ______. Only humans do that.” 

15. “Well, I suppose I should say thank you for the, uh... rescue.” 

16. “If my people hear that I rescued an ______, I’ll be the one in trouble.” 

17. “Well, anyway, I’m very grateful. What about if I buy you lunch?” 

18. “What would you say to some crepes?” 

19. “I didn’t really fall. I just... you know... sauntered vaguely downwards.” 

20. “If it all goes wrong, I want insurance.” 

21. “I wrote it down. Walls have ears. Well, not walls. Trees have ears. Ducks have ears. Do ducks have ears? Must have, that’s how they hear other ducks.”

22. “Absolutely not. It would destroy you. I’m not bringing you a suicide pill, _____.” 

23. “Do you know what kind of trouble I’d be in if they knew I’d been fraternizing?” 

24. “I have plenty of other people to fraternize with, ______. I don’t need you.” 

25. “You can’t kill me! There’ll be paperwork!” 

26. “Sorry! Consecrated ground. It’s like being on a beach in bare feet.”

27. “Look at that. A whole trough full of Holy water. Doesn’t even have guards!”  

28. “If you run away very, very fast, you might not die. You won’t enjoy dying. Definitely won’t enjoy what comes after.” 

29. “That was very kind of you.” 

30. “Stealing from a church? There’s no witchcraft involved here, is there?” 

31. “It’s too dangerous. Holy water won’t just kill your body, it’ll destroy you completely!” 

32. “Should I say ‘thank you’?” 

33. “Don’t look so disappointed. Perhaps one day we could... I don’t know... go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz.”

34. “I’ll give you a lift. Anywhere you want to go.” 

35. “You go too fast for me, ______.” 

36. “This is going to sound so stupid, but I... I lost my book, and it all got a bit... much.”

37. “I wrote a book once. It’s about this pirate who was a famous detective. I’ll bet it was a lot more exciting than any book you’ve lost. Especially the bit on the spaceship, where the dinosaur comes out and flies with the cowboys.” 

38. “This is my world, from ______ to ______, and from _______ up to ______.” 

39. “Look, excuse me for asking, if it’s not a personal question, but are you a ______?” 

40. “So, what color’s my aura, then?” 

41. “I can’t see your aura.” 

42. “That’s brilliant. Why don’t they teach us about them in school?” 

43. “So, what else don’t they teach us at school?” 

44. “There doesn’t have to be another war. Does there?” 

45. “I couldn’t help but notice, _______, that you have a map. Casing the joint, are we?” 

46. “Oh, good lord, you’re an _______ tourist. Sorry, I thought you were a person of interest.” 

47. “______ is a perfectly respectable _______. If you’re coming here to smoke your fatty spliffers and bimble off to woo-woo land, then I suggest that you go elsewhere.” 

48. “Do you have any men free? I need them to poke about a bit.” 

49. “I’ve never seen a room full of rich people so hungry before.” 

50. “It’s not rubbish. They wouldn’t write about it in magazines if it was rubbish.” 

51. “I don’t want to be forgiven. Not ever. It’s part of a _______’s job description. Unforgivable, that’s what I am.” 

52. “You’re the ______, I’m the nice one. I don’t have to kill children.” 

53. “If you kill him/her/them, then ______ gets a reprieve and _______ does not have blood on its hands.” 

54. “You can’t leave, _______. There isn’t anywhere to go.” 

55. “It’s a big universe. Even if this all ends up a pile of burning goo, we can go off together.” 

56. “Friends? We’re not friends. We are an ______, and a _____. We have absolutely nothing whatsoever in common. I don’t even like you!”

57. “Even if I did know where the ______ was, I wouldn’t tell you. We’re on opposite sides!” 

58. “There is no ‘our side’, ______! Not anymore. It’s over!”