#so it wasn't exactly noticeable but it all adds up into a pattern of behavior around food that's just deeply dysfunctional

[cannon4k]

╭୨🥀୧︰I JUST NEED YOU, BABY.

┊︰ Vi x Reader fanfic

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Stalking, slightly possessive behavior, fighting, cussing, angst, jealousy and kinda slowburn, F/F

Word count: 7k

First fanfic on tumblr(also posted on ao3), if y'all have tips or criticism pls say so!!

Also noticed i kept switching up from referring to the reader as you/i, a sign that character ai chats Haven't left my vocabulary so i apologize 💔

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You stood paralyzed, the sweat on your forehead making strands of your hair stick on your face. Your eyes grazed at the sight in front of you, making your head and swirl around in confusion and fear, all kinds of emotions running around in your mind.

Your friend Vi holds her calloused hand against your mouth, your noises being muffled by it, as she pressed her body against yours, holding both of your wrists together with ease with her other hand, and you notice that she clearly is not using all her strength. You try to cry out, your hands shaking as despair lightly fills your body, and you can see her knee make her way between your thighs as you try to sound out words through the cloth.

“Stay quiet for me, okay cupcake?”

Tears start to fill your eyes.

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7:30am everyday you come to work, at the small and humble coffee shop in Zaun. This place used to be so scary, the Green hue filled the air you used to breathe as a kid, but now, everything is… Clear. You can see the blue and vibrant color of the sky, the clouds making a beautiful pattern, and the sun shining bright as it illuminates the crowded streets of Zaun. You remember enforcers used to ramage Zaun trying to look for any trouble or reason to throw anyone into StillWater, this small hatred for them still hasn't left your mind, but nowadays, it seems like they want peace after years of war and misunderstanding. Looks like they wanna do their job for once.

As you open the door of the Coffee shop, a bell rings above the door, and you see Jinx talking with Huck, the short and shy middle-aged man who's your manager. I admire the fact that he built something for himself, even if it's a small coffee shop, it's humble and cozy, and it shows how he loves the place. Jinx turns around startled by the bell, but her eyes quickly shine as she sees you walking towards her with a box in your hands. She shouts your name, and it echoes around the shop.

“Jinx, didn't think I'd see you here so early,” - I chuckle as she steps towards me and takes the box from my hands with a bit of a struggle, placing it at the counter.

“Well, I wasn't exactly planning on coming either, but this little gremlin was starving. Well, at least that's the excuse she gave, but we all know she just wanted to see Mr.whiskers over there.” - she grins as she points behind the counter.

You lean over the counter, peeking at an adorable scene of Isha next to the cat bed, petting our cat, the infamous shop mascot, a fluffy orange cat, purring and stretching as Isha continues to play with our store mascot. You can't help but smile as cuteness aggression attacks your brain.

“Aaaww…!” - You smile at the scene, Isha glances at you as she giggles in a breathy laugh.

Your gaze catches your boss, as you step out of the counter, you mention - “is that all for that event?”

“Oh, uhm, Grey air fare?” - Huck stutters, giving you a nervous but welcoming smile.

“Wacky ass name…” - Jinx mumbles, as she rests her elbow against the counter, as she plays with a lollipop with her fingers.

“Where'd you get that- Well, it has to do with all, and everything Zaun went through before getting to where we are,” - he adjusts his glasses as he blabbers about it. - “a-and we can't afford that many lollipops you're taking f-for free, Miss Powder.” - he adds.

“It’s Jinx.” - her tone turns serious and slightly annoyed sounding, but she quickly turns her mood upside down as she replies. - “And are you seriously charging me for cents worth of Lollipops? Silco won't like hearing about this…” - she smirks, muttering the last part just loud enough for him to hear it, in a playful tone. Huck gets taken back by the passive aggressive remark, as he panics and attempts to apologize, you hear the store bell ring.

You turn around, seeing Vi, Mylo and Claggor, all enter the store hands full of heavy boxes. You walk towards them, offering help as you reach your hands to take some of the boxes from Mylo, he chuckles and you nod in compliance. You feel a gaze against the back of your neck, as you carry the boxes to the counter you catch Vi glance over her shoulder to see your interaction with Mylo, quickly looking away as your eyes lock. You lift a brow in curiosity, and as you set the boxes on the counter, you see Claggor helping Huck set them in the back, and you overhear them talking about a new menu and decorations, energy filling your system as you start to feel excited to help around the store.

As Vi hands her boxes to Claggor, you silently walk to her side, tapping her shoulder with a smile. - “Vi! Sorry to make you and your gang carry boxes, especially when it's starting to get hot outside.” - you nod your head to the front door, splashes of sunlight peeking by the windows.

“O-oh, no problem, really. And after all it kinda helps me, maybe I won't get a chance to workout with all the mess that's gonna be in the next couple of days.” - her tone is friendly and calm, as she lightly stutters and gets stuck between some of the sentences.

“Yeah, it lasts a week, well, this means more coins for me,” - I chuckle as I rub my hands together peeking at the cash register. My gaze slides around her arms in her black tank top. - “And yeah, I can see your muscles getting bigger.” - you lift your hand to gently brush your index finger by her bicep and shoulders. Your eyes go up, only to see her eyebrows lifted and eyes shining in a seemingly shy and surprised expression. You let your arm down and stare into her eyes as you rest your arm on the counter as you smile. - “getting Strong huh?”.

“Could say that..” - She mutters, and her eyes stay a second too long on the area of her arm that I touched with my index finger, before she stares back at me. Maybe I'm reading a little too much at this, but it was like she analyzed me for a split second, or maybe admiring? I don't quite know, but something else was on her mind, her eyes sparkled and I could see her pupils dilate around her light blue eyes, her split lips and slightly raised eyebrows. I kept my eyes locked with hers, waiting that something may be added to the conversation, but all I heard was Jinx, Isha and Mylo discussing and mocking each other in the background. Well, Isha and Jinx against Mylo is more accurate.

I broke the staring contest to look over at Claggor and Huck coming back from the back of the store, apparently done with moving the boxes. I gave Vi one final glance, nodding with my head in a chuckle, before heading to the back of the store, and i'm almost sure i heard a muffled ‘fuck’, in an almost frustrated tone, i just don't know from who.

As you get into the dressing room, you meet with your friend Myluri, which greets you with a nod and a small smile. You greet her back in a friendly tone. “Myluri, Myluri… how are you feeling knowing that we're gonna have to work twice as much this week,” - you playfully ask her, as you nudge her shoulder.

“Well, Huck said he's gonna lend us some hours to enjoy the fare too.” - she brushes a strand of her white curls behind her ear. - “I really wanna go to the Ferris wheel.” - she mutters in addition.

“I kinda wanna go to the rollercoaster, i just don't know who to go with.” I glance over, a chuckle escaping my lips.

I open my locker, and as I grab my work uniform, I can't seem to find or see my lipgloss, I raise a brow in confusion.

“Myluri?” - I call out quietly for her.

“Yes?” - she replies as she buttons her shirt.

“Did you take my lipgloss?” - I brought my face to her, by peeking out of my locker door. As she locks her eyes with mine she quietly shakes her head ‘no’. - “I would've told you if I did. Do you want mine?” - her hand ramages inside her locker and she hands me a lip gloss, the case a light tone of pink. I thank her, as I grab and open the lipgloss, I slide the product across my lips, close the cap and hand it back to her.

“You don't think Huck would snuck into my things, right?” - you mumble, frustration and distrust in your voice.

“He's too shy to even send us back to work, even though he's our boss. I can't imagine him trying to rob you,” - she quietly folds her clothes, and closes the door of her locker, and she adds in a sarcastic tone. “And even if. A lipgloss?” - she chuckles, making you fall into laughter along with her.

As she walks out, she stops by the door and gives you a final look and speaks a last time. - “maybe you just forgot it at home, don't stress too much, okay?” - you look back, and give her a nod in agreement.

But it is strange. your things kept disappearing ever since you entered this job, and if you go even before that, you do remember things like, a pack of gums, hair ties, makeup products… and even private clothing disappearing from your house, you only lost one pair of underwear, and you thought it may be under a cabinet decomposing in a funny way, but it's been frequent enough to make you suspect of something, even tho you couldn't prove it. Your doors and windows never seemed different or like someone broke in, everything was in the exact place, except for those small objects in which you could easily buy again cheaply in another store. It still bugged you nonetheless.

I shake my shoulders in an attempt to shake my overthinking thoughts with them. I put on my working uniform, and checked myself in the small mirror on the locker door, adjusting my hair. I close my locker, but I make sure to lock it. My shift for the morning is calm as always, regular customers, families, and even Piltover civilians coming in to get a coffee, probably because it's way cheaper than up there, but i still can't get used to seeing them visit Zaun like this, it's a bit rare, but they do visit sometimes.

Myluri told me the morning shifts would be the same in store, but in the afternoon we'd have to set up a tent, representing our store at the fare, Huck would cover us at night so we can enjoy the fun fare. I'm glad to have him as a boss as he's so understanding and calm, he's shy, yes, but I also never seen him getting mad or showing anger at someone. Afternoon sets, and he prepares the resources, except of course, they are too heavy for me and Myluri to carry on one trip, and asking Vi and her friends for help again would feel inconvenient…

As I'm closing the shop, and our cash registers, the front door bell rings. As I'm counting bills I say a quiet ‘were closed’, before looking up and seeing one of my closest friends.

“Ekko!” - I exclaim as I put the bags of coins down, walking around the counter to greet him, he nods with his head as we lock eyes.

“Huck told me about the hussle it'd be for y'all to get everything to the fare,” - he crosses his arms in a relaxed stance, as he leans back against a table near us.

“Oh he did?” - I lift a brow, as I glance outside to see 4 more people on the front of our store, the fourth one staying more in the distance

“Well, since y'all treated us, and especially me so well with all those free treats, I thought about coming to the rescue,” - he chuckles as he points outside.

“O-oh, Ekko, that 's really…Sweet, wow, thank you. I was getting worried about me and Myluri having to carry all of that on our own.” - I chuckle in nervousness, not knowing how to thank nice gestures like that, giving him a shy smile.

“Hey, don't worry, I know how much you and her work hard to help this store. It's an honor, trust me.” - he says as he stands up walking towards me giving a tap in the back, as i reach for his shoulder, giving him a tap back in return.

I yell Myluri’s name as Ekko brings his friends inside, and I glance back to the door bell as his friends enter the store. I noticed that the fourth person who was watching from across the street was gone, but I didn't give it too much thought. I couldn't even recognize them by the hood of their blouse, but I could see their muscles by their pulled up sleeves because of the sunset light shining upon them.

Hours pass by, Ekko and his group helps me and Myluri set up snd carry all the heavy equipment to the fare, Ferris wheels, Rollercoaster and a ton of other rides, were all over the place, some smaller for kids and others much bigger for adults, adrenaline rushed through you just thinking about going on one of those rides. Only problem was, you had no one to go with, Myluri would go with her boyfriend, and a bunch of your other friends would go together probably, like Jinx and Ekko, although you did questioned Jinx going with him because of Isha, but she probably wouldn't be allowed on adult rides. Jinx probably asked Silco or Vander to keep an eye on her at the fare.

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6pm, the sun was close to finally setting, and you could see everyone start to arrive at the event, both Zaunites and Piltovers… still surprised you, but seeing kids from different places running around and playing together warmed your heart, enough to forget how different you think you are from them. You stood side by side with Myluri, selling chocolate cakes and sweet drinks, a nice decoration of sparkling lights going around your stand.

“Now that I see it up close… this is quite nice.” - I speak out to Myluri, a smile spreading on my face.

“I remember when everything was, hm,” - she pauses, glancing at her feet, a vulnerable light shining in her eyes. - “ different. But now, I couldn't be happier about how everything changed.”

I chuckle, as I slice another piece of cake to a kid in the line, and as I hand him the sliced piece, I catch a glance of Vander holding Isha’s hand, walking towards our stand, Silco following behind with Huck aside. I greet Vander with my eyes as he arrives at the stand.

“Oh, Huck, why are you abusing your workers like this? C'mon guys it's a fare,” - his voice was husky and playful, a grin across his lips as he faced Huck. - “is the money that much?” - he adds, in a joking tone as turns to glance at me and Myluri.

“Well, it's not like I'm rich…” - I state in a grin as I glance at Huck, nervously laughing.

“It seems I'm gonna have to steal both of your employees.” - Silco butts in, a light smirk in his face as he taps Hucks shoulder.

“I promise, sir, I'm doing my best on, uhm, paying them the best I can.” - he fidgets with his fingers as he stutters on his words. Silco gives him a tap in the back which startled him.

“Cover for rhem, won't ya? They're still young compared to us, let them have some fun.” - his voice is calm and husky as he jokes, nodding his head to us.

Huck takes our place in the boot, Silco and Vander are still joking around as they eat the treats in our stand, and I suddenly feel a tap on my wrist. I look down and see a cute Isha grasping my hand in hers.

“Oh, hi Isha,” - I say in a smile, as I see the adorable girl who is more than half my size.

She suddenly starts pulling me, signaling for me to be quiet by putting her finger between her lips, and nodding to the rollercoaster. Which widens my eyes as I shake my head. I think it's too dangerous to sneak her in there, and Jinx would kill me if I did that.

Isha brows furrow and her lips pout in an attempt to look mad, but she just looks cutely funny. She grasps on my arm and in a surprisingly quick motion she climbs on my back, I gasp as she wraps her arms around my shoulder. And I sigh in defeat as I accept to give her a piggyback, before going on my way, I give Vander a tap on the shoulder, and when he looks at Isha, he gives me a thumbs up, and jokes about finally having a break from babysitting.

She points and points to different places and rides, most of which she can't go because of her height, but I stop to buy her some food and candy on the way, and I let her go on 1 or 2 kids rides while we're at it. After what felt like 30 minutes, I saw Vi and her group in the distance, Jinx and Ekko a few steps behind, and even though she was far away she was the first one to spot me and Isha, although when I glanced back Vi was already looking at me.

Jinx runs up to me and Ekko follows calmly behind, Vi and her group going in my direction also. Isha crawls out of my back and jumps at Jinx, giving her a big hug.

“Isha!” - Jinx yells in her hoarse voice, as she hugs Isha back in her arms. - “I thought you were with Vander?!” - she chuckles.

“I stole her if you don't mind… Well, she stole me more is more accurate.” - I joke, glancing at all of the group standing a few steps behind Jinx, Ekko coming to her side, wrapping a hand on her waist.

“Vander probably was relieved to have a break from this little dwarf.” - Ekko jokes playfully as he chuckles to Isha, as she rolls her eyes and does some sign language, which I can't quite understand.

“And what happened to your voice?” - i Ask tapping Jinx’s shoulder.

“I screamed too much on rides.” - she smirks, as if she's proud of it. I giggle back to her.

I cross my arms, and my gaze flows around, once more, to find Vi staring at me as Claggor and Mylo seem to be arguing, although it's common to see them like this. As our eyes meet, I give her a smile as I approach her, which she widens her eyes slightly and her eyebrows twitch.

“Vi, what 's up? Have you already checked around?” - I ask her, tilting my head as I gesture around us.

“Oh, kind of? I didn't wanna go on too many rides as the others, since we're kind of an uneven number…But I don't mind since that gives me the opportunity to get some treats.” - she chuckles awkwardly, which makes me sigh a laugh along with her, as she seems surprised as i do so, before letting out a smile herself.

“Same, ever since I left my stand all I did was bring Isha for rides and food.” - I cross my arms, before sighing in a more annoyed tone. - “Ugh… even though I wanted to go on the rollercoaster, I didn't want to go with a stranger.” - I add.

She glances around for an instance, tilting her head and hesitating, before stepping closer and muttering something. - “You want to get the hell out of here?” - her voice is low and husky, as I can feel her soft breathing as she speaks.

I chuckle, as I narrow my eyes at her, a smirk on my lips. - “So we can go on rides together?” - I turned my head slightly, our faces brought close together.

She lets a breathy laugh out. - “hell yeah,” - as she grabs my wrist, dragging me silently away from the group, and for a second, even if it feels delusional, i think i saw her glancing at my lips.

She drags me into a crowd, her grip strong, safe, as she makes sure not to lose me in it, she successfully cuts in line without suspicion to the rollercoaster, making her way across the wide line of people, she gets the closest we can get to being our turn. As we both try to make our way to the stairs for the toy, a guy with a security shirt stops both of us, making my breath hitch.

“There's only one spot left.” - he says, making me feel relieved, as the thought of him seeing us cut in line goes away.

I glance back, facing the people behind us. - “uhm, one of y'all can go if you want.” - a teenager looking boy, passes through us as the guard closes the gate.

I glance back at Vi, grinning at her, as she looks down to reach my gaze, her eyes soft and sparkling as the bright neon lights shine down on us from the roller coaster decorations.

“Not lucky, huh?” - I playfully joke, as I nudge her shoulder, realizing her grip on my wrist is still there, and her fingers lightly caress the skin of my hands.

“We just gotta wait till the next turn, don't worry cu-...” - she pauses, trying to hide her cut off sentence with a very fake cough, as she faces away from me.

“Hm? What were you saying?” - I lift a brow, a smirk on my lips.

“Nothing, let's just wait,” - her grip gets a little tighter, as i cut her off.

“No, no, you don't trick me, what were you gonna say?”

“Nothing!” - she chuckles, our eyes locking as she turns to me, a light blush reaches her ears.

“No, c'mon!” - i swing the hand shes holding around, as i laugh in curiosity. She shakes her head, chuckling along with me.

She tilts her head whispering close to my ear. - “i was gonna say ‘cupcake’, happy now?”

My brows lift in surprise, as I stare at her. I don't say anything, truly not expecting that, I stand surprised. After a second of silence I quietly replied with a small smile.

“...That's cute.”

“You're cute.”

“And you're-”

I get cut off by the security guy, signaling that it's our turn, we walk up the stairs and sit by each others side on the rollercoaster, sitting 2 rolls before the vert front seat. I sigh in nervousness, but still smiling nonetheless, feeling a hint of adrenaline by the thought of going down the rollercoaster, and also because Vi hasn't yet let go of my hand, am i reading too much into her actions?

“So?” - Vi suddenly pulls me away from my thoughts.

“Uhm? What's up?”

“What were you gonna say?” - she asks in a smirk, almost mocking the way i insisted on her to finish her sentence a few minutes ago, i roll my eyes in a smile.

“Like you said, ‘Nothing’.” - i quote, making her narrow her eyes in a grin, as she arched one of her brows.

The rollercoaster suddenly starts moving, and i grip Vi’s hand tighter in surprise. I glance at her in a full teeth smile, nervousness starting to set and my stomach does flips, my mind panicking with a hint of adrenaline. I laugh as i look at Vi, she looks at me and gives a excited laugh, her eyes shine bright at my direction,

“Do you wanna throw your arms up at the drop?!” - she shouts, asking me through the noises of the music and people around us.

“Fuck yeah!”

The toy bumps on it's tracks ads it starts to go up, people around us screaming in excitement. I look up, the huge hill of the rollercoaster taking painfully long to reach the top. And when it does, me and Vi glance over at each other at same time.

“1,2…” - She counts, as the toy reach the end of the hill, and pauses as it's about to go down.

“3!”

We count together raising our hands as the rollercoaster starts to drop in triple the speed, your heart starts beating faster, and as much as your brain tries telling you that you're in danger, you also feel like you're having the time of your life. You and Vi screaming and laughing as adrenaline rushes both of you, your stomach turning cold and your breathing shaky. The ride goes on for about 2 minutes, before you're met in the same spot you and Vi were at rhe beginning.

You get out and walk away in silent chuckles and giggles catching your breath.

“Holy that was good,” - you wheeze, holding a hand to your chest.

“I ate 4 pizzas before this, i think ima bout to trhow up…” - she sarcastically replies, breathing heavily, leaning against me, wrapping her arm around my neck.

“Eww, don't trhow up on me you bastard!”

“Oh i think I'm…” - she pauses as she groans, mimicking a ‘trhowing up’ sound, which makes her break into laughter when i actually gasped and tried to get her hands off.

Seeing her smile like that, kinda makes my heart flutter…

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After we broke into laughter together. We agreed on going to the Ferris wheel, but for some odd reason, Vi started to get awkward out of nowhere. I don't know if it's something I said, but she felt more distant, seeming lost in thought. And even when I tried to joke with her about something, she would glance at me in a strange way and chuckle, almost looking a little sad or something else, or maybe she was tired in some sort of way. I have no idea what she was actually feeling.

We got in the line, which was significantly smaller than the rollercoaster one, which made me catch my breath at the much more calm environment. We silently got in the toy, and we awkwardly sat across each other.

“Cupcake?” - her voice husky and quiet, she called in a soft tone. My eyebrows raised in surprise, all the time that she was silent like that, I started worrying why she suddenly shut down. I try to give her a comforting smile.

“Oh you're sticking with that nickname now, hm?”

She chuckles, her smile warm, but still odd. - “yeah, it suits you, but…” - she pauses, seeming hesitant.

“Yes, Vi?” - I lean forward, my hands resting on my knees.

“... Are you interested in someone?” - she faces away from me looking out of the Ferris wheel windows, her pink and spiky hair covering her face from my view.

I arch my eyebrow, confusion and curiosity mixing together.

“Oh, well,” - I cross my legs, my hands now standing on my thighs - “Honestly, not really.”

She narrows her eyes at me, her face slightly moving in my direction.

“I highly doubt that.”

“What?”

She pauses and sighs, her elbow against the window.

“Sorry, i didn't mean to say that,” she grins, but it twitches into a soft frown, her eyes and expression showing so much vulnerability for some seconds. She really can't hide her emotions with her soft eyes.

My furrowed eyebrows relaxed slowly, but a pout was still on my face.

“You're… friendly, with everyone. Which makes me think you must probably like someone.”

“W-well, i don't… I'm not looking for anything right now.”

“...what?” - Vi glances at me, disbelief shown in her eyes.

“What?”

“So what was all that back there?” W-wait, what?” - her eyebrows furrow, she rubs her fingers between her temples, before speaking again. - “you mean you don't… don't want anything? With no one?”

“Well, I thought, I just… I thought we were having fun?” - my eyebrows curl in confusion, guilt showing on my face.

“Holding hands? Flirting?!” - she gasps in sarcasm, anger visible on her face.

“Look, I'm sorry, I didn't wanna be weird! I thought you'd only see me as a friend, o-or, i don't know!” - panic washes me, in an attempt to explain.

“You didn't wanna be ‘weird’?” - she exhales. An awkward silence rushed through the air for a few seconds, before Vi spoke up again.

“Do you even like women?” - her voice husky, tired, and feeling of disappointment reaching out of her lips.

“...i, i don't know.” - Another frustrated sigh escapes her lips. - “Vi, please can we-”

“Don't bother. I got the message.”

My eyes widened in shock, pain was heard in her voice, which also made my throat sink, I gasped as my eyes threatened to tear up, I fought the feeling of guilt and worry. I thought it was only something she does to any friend, maybe i should've realized, now looking back at it, the signs were obvious, but I didn't wanna screw up… And do I like women?

All my life i never got into a relationship, only a few interests passing by, but in the only instance i tasted someone's else's lips, was indeed a girl, at my teenage years, she wanted to make her little ex jealous, so she made a deal to convince me to kiss her in front of her, and it worked out for her, but that's it. I never thought much about that kiss, i didn't feel love, passion, or any other tingling feeling, but again, i feel the same about men, i never even ‘maked out’ with anyone before, my love life was really private and none existent, and i was happy. Before Vi.

I faced the floor in embarrassment, and silence filled the air the rest of the ride. When the door opened, Vi rushed outside, hands in pockets, and I tried following her behind, her step being quick, in an attempt to get her attention, I shouted.

“Vi, wait! Can we talk please?!” - my voice shakes, which makes me much more awkward, when she actually stops, glancing back at me.

“Cupcake, I tried this way, okay?” - her voice is blank, but a hint of pain and sorrow shows in it.

“Vi, i-i, i just don't know-” - my voice cracks, a tear forming in my eyes.

“Just, just go home. Okay? And don't look back, nor come after me.” - she faces away, continuing on her way, leaving me in front of colored flashing lights and music.

And even though there's crowds of people, I still feel the loneliest I've been in forever. Staying in such a lively place now feels like such a burden, an uncomfortable feeling, and a dumbbell in my chest. I indeed just wanna go home.

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The walk home was insufferable. Looking back at the flashing lights of the roller coaster and other toys so far away, and the music by the distance, it was depressing, truly, because you never meant to hurt Vi, and thought that both of you were having a good time. But you also don't know, you don't know anything about yourself in that sense, now that you think of it, how would it feel?

How do I like the idea of dating Vi? Talk to her in an intimate way, show affection? Hold hands? Hug? Kiss? Feel her skin, her lips… brush your hand through her hair, feel her hot breath against your skin as she talks so closely to you. Lay on her side on the same bed, cuddle, and even going further, to the point of-

Your naughty thoughts get cut off by a loud noise behind you, startling you. You look back, only to find a cat in the trash cans, apparently looking for food, your eyes water slightly by the sight, your current mood just makes you vulnerable enough to want to sob just by this view.

You take a small piece of candy fruit, vanilla flavor with strawberries on top, stuffed in a Tupperware, you open and take the pieces of strawberries, trying to clean the bits of melted ice cream before giving it to the cat. The little kitten points its ears up, as he gets closer at the sight of food hanging in your hand, he sniffs the food in your hands, before gladly accepting the treat. I hope ice cream isn't venomous, or I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life for this.

I get up and continue my way, but there's a tingling feeling in thr back of my mind… no, more like a gut feeling, like there's someone watching me, or maybe following, but I've looked back multiple times and all i see is deserted road, with few people walking the opposite way from me, probably going to the fare, the one i left my ‘friend’ hurt and disappointed, and you're left with no one to go back to.

I search my purse for my keys. A slight worry filled me when I couldn't locate them in a second, but I found them just afterwards. The door is unlocked, i open the door and step inside, and just as i close it behind me, i feel a grip on my mouth, another one at my torso locking my arms all together, panic rushes through me, as i my screams became muffled and my strength isn't enough to fight back, is it a man? Why is he so goddamn strong?

I step on his shoes, and he doesn't budge, his grips gets tighter as he shoves me against the wall, a grunt in a husky voice comes out, but it doesn't sound like a man. But It doesn't fucking matter when i feel my arms getting tucked against my back at his strong grip, the side of my cheek mets the wall, which makes me able to get a side glance at the man which… man. Oh fuck, it's not a man, you've seen this face before, in fact, fucking hours ago.

You stood paralyzed, the sweat on your forehead making strands of your hair stick on your face. Your eyes grazed at the sight in front of you, making your head and swirl around in confusion and fear, all kinds of emotions running around in your mind.

Your friend Vi holds her calloused hand against your mouth, your noises being muffled by it, as she pressed her body against yours, holding both of your wrists together with ease with her other hand, and you notice that she clearly is not using all her strength. You try to cry out, your hands shaking as despair lightly fills your body, and you can see her knee make her way between your thighs as you try to sound out words through the cloth.

“Stay quiet for me, okay cupcake?”

Tears start to fill your eyes.

Your mumbles are Inaudible by the strong grip in your jaw, your breathing becomes quicker as anxiety clouds your mind. Her knee pushes inches further up, making you stand on your tiptoes for balance, you tighten your thighs around her leg tightly, searching for some assistance in standing.

“Well, I said I tried it that way, didn't i?” - her husky voice reaches your ears, her hot breath tickles your neck, her face just centimeters away.

You hum, and groan against her hand, but nothing makes it fold, only the tears in your eyes communicating your emotions. She arches a brow at the sight, and sighs in annoyance.

“If you scream, you won't like what I'll do after.” - she threatens, slowly taking away her grasp on your mouth, only your quick and shaky exhales making a way out of your lips.

She brings her thumb up, brushing tears out of your face, even with her calloused fingertips, the act seems genuine.

“V-Vi… why are you-”

“Can you save it for later? I'm not in the mood to answer your questions right now.” - she barked, wrapping an arm around your waist, lifting you up around her shoulder in a smooth motion, making you gasp in surprise.

“Vi, please! Let's talk,” - I mumble, my voice trembling as she makes her way into my house, moving in a way like she was familiar with the layout and rooms.

She dropped me into the soft material of my bed, even with the aggressiveness, she put her hand behind my head as she laid me down. Her fingers brush my shirt collar, before pausing, resting each hand at the sides of my face, looking down on me. Her breathing was heavy, like she was craving with anticipation. But she closes her eyes, frustration showing in her face.

“What were you gonna say?” - her voice is low and breathy, as she stares at my eyes waiting for an answer.

“... I thought about us.”

She rolls her eyes, with a sarcastic chuckle. - “Oh, did you now?”

My eyebrows furrow, my tone becoming serious and steady, i grasp her wrist.

“Yes. Vi, i did.”

Her grin is gone, only annoyance in her expression, huffing in indignation.

“Don't look at me like that. Please. Let 's talk.”

“I'm listening.”

A tense silence fills the air, as I try to form my words in my mind.

“Look, just listen, okay? Don't cut me off.” - she narrowed her eyes, giving one a small nod in agreement. I exhale in a shaky breath.

“I don't know how I exactly feel. I've never been with anyone. Not men, not women. And truly, I don't remember the last time I tried to figure it out.”

I hesitate, my gaze facing away from her's, embarrassment and nervousness getting in my system.

“When I was with you, I didn't know if I was thinking of it wrong, because I thought it was just a ‘friend’ thing, and I didn't wanna mess up. But I've been thinking and…”

I reach Vi’s gaze, her eyes are soft now, vulnerable, once again, hope showing in her face, or maybe excitement? Fuck, im confused too myself, her eyes always trap me, and her lips, the little scar on her top one, and another one on her eyebrow. Fuck, i could stare, and admire her features forever.

“I wanna try, and, besides that. i really, kinda fucking want you…?”

Hesitation is in my voice, fear and anxiety shows in my actions. I even avoid looking at her as I say this, cringing at my own words, but her reaction surprised me too, well, some of it.

“I hope you noticed by, now, or else you're really fucking slow.” - she chuckles, rubbing her temples with her index and thumb, before continuing.

“It has been… years. But when I truly started feeling these things for you, was 536 days ago. Fuck, you made me so… fucking obsessed.” - her voice is hoarse, low, and tentative, provocative, full of desire.

“And when i saw with someone else, didn't matter who, i just wanted to shoot their fucking brains out… when i saw you with Ekko, even though i know it wasn't like that, i was fucking fuming, wishing that was me.”

“I have been stealing your things, yes. Just to have some sort of your trace. Your smell. Your digits. Just a single part of you. Hoping that after i gain you over, i could return these one day as a proof for love, even if it's sick in the mind. I just fucking need you. Please, I need to taste you so bad.” - her hands rub the point of my ear, her knee makes a way into between my legs softly.

“And yes, dickhead, I know you're a virgin.” - she brings her face close, which almost makes me gasp, thinking she was going for a kiss, but she simply brings her lips close to my neck, and whispers. - “I'll be gentle, let me take care of you, baby.”

Her possessive touch was sickening, in a good way, It left you only seeking more, more of her fingers and touch. Her hand slides onto your waist, and the other to your neck, as she left wet kisses, going from your jaw and going to your neck and collarbone, before lifting her face, and glance up to your eyes, thumb brushed softly against the skin of your neck, and her eyes waited for consent. You quietly nod, as you stare at her beautiful, powder blue eyes.

She unbuttons your shirt, your black bra being revealed, as you help her by pulling your sleeves yourself, and she throws the shirt into the ground, she pushes you back into the bed, checking you out with eyes that screams desire, her gaze traveling down to your lips and chest. Her face goes down once again, kissing and teasing your body with her tongue, you gasp, suddenly feeling a sharp pain in your neck, looking down, seeing Vi back down at the skin she just left a hickey on.

Your hand reaches her hair, your fingers brushing through it, she smirks as she continues. Her kisses going down, and down, her hands on your hips, she slides your pants off, leaving you exposed in your panties and bra, she gasps as she takes in the sight. She kisses the edge of your panties, the new feeling makes you squirm, not used to the kind of touch.

“V-Vi, what about you…?”

“shhh, just relax, it's your day, so sit and enjoy… and tell me if you want to stop.”

She pushes at the edges of your panties with her thumb, exposing your pussy to her, she seems amused with the view, as she kisses above your clit, making a wet trail, before finally dive in, kissing and sucking on your clit, making your muscles tense up, and tremble in overstimulation. She holds you down by your hips, as she continues to twirl her tongue in circles on your clit, making you whimper and gasp for air. She edges you enough to desperately wish she'd just head in, and start working more below. “P-please, Vi…” you begged, the words coming from your mouth making her touch and words the more all possessive.

Suddenly, her hands grasps your inner thighs, forcing you open, as she reaches to suck in between your folds, her nose just in the perfect spot to overstimulate your clit as she eats you out, her tongue doing various forms of motions, as she takes note of which and what ones makes you fold the best, grabbing it all and combining altogether, making you roll your eyes as you moan her name. Your hands caresses her hair, her hot breath against your pussy making you fucking crazy, as you feel the vibration of her voice as she hums in pleasure as she tastes your juices.

Just as you were feeling close, the pleasure doing wonders to your brain, she stops, making you whine as you're left on edge. You catch a glimpse of her smirk, licking her lips as she swallows your juices, and she cleans the rest of the wet mess on her mouth with the back of her hand. She positions herself in between your legs, her hands at the back of your knees as she gently stretches you enough to fit herself, one of her hands trace your lower stomach, making its way to your clit, starting making circle motions.

“Sorry, but I just want to see how you look when you cum…” - she smirks, as she reaches for your cheek and leaves kisses against your face, you whimper and whine in desire and pleasure.

Without warning, her lips make their way into yours, your lips parting in shock, she invades your mouth with her tongue, and guiding yours as she makes you taste a little bit of yourself, she bites you lower lip in a provocative motion, turning the process all the more passionate. Her middle finger slowly makes her way into you completely, making you throw your head back as you roll your eyes, the pain being light but the pleasure being much bigger.

“You're so beautiful, do you know that, baby?” - her praises makes you fold, goosebumps reaching all of your body, her words of praise, possessive, jealousy and desire, makes you go fucking insane.

“I want to make you mine, just mine, cupcake…” - she mutters against your neck, her breathing heavy and her voice low.

She gently slides another finger in, curling the both in the perfect motion, just to make you cum. You whimper and moan, grasping Vi’s arm as you fully release, your whole body warm and shaking with heat and pleasure.

Vi copies your breathing, as she brushes a strand of hair off your face behind your ears, resting her hand on your cheek as she kisses your lips one more time.

“You don't know how much I've dreamed about this, love…”

You catch your breath, your eyes searching for comfort in Vi’s, and she gives you even more than that. Your arms wrap around her neck, pushing her down with me with a chuckle.

“How are you so good at this?” - you ask, provoking her, as you brush your thumb at the back of her ear.

“Unfortunately, with other people…” - she smiles, as she slides an arm under your waist, grabbing you into her lap, which makes you chuckle in surprise. - “so… does that mean I'm your first?” - she hesitated, a hint of happiness on her face.

“Well yeah… if you want to make a badge for it you can,” - i playfully joke, she also laughs softly along.

“Right now… I just need you, baby.”

[headspacedad]

You seem to know a lot about bunny behavior. My friend's bunny as a kid was allowed to roam her living room sometimes. It would specifically go up to people who were laying down, turn its back on them, and then do this very hard kick/launch thing off the top of their head. It seemed to do it more to some people than others qnd absolutely never to her little sister. We just assumed it was being mean, is there some sort of bunny code it was trying to communicate? It also liked biting people's earlobes and staring into the birdcage for hours so it wasn't exactly the most normal animal.

Thanks for the faith! I mostly just know about rabbits via living with some very opinionated ones over the years. Sounds like your friend had a very opinionated one as well and it was absolutely saying something with its flying launches.

What it was saying is a little harder to parse without knowing the details but I'll give it a shot.

There are two potential reasons I could see a rabbit doing that. One - them's fighting words or two - for play. It really comes down to context, which you have more of than me so I'll leave you to be the judge of which it might have been.

Rabbits are pretty social little critters. They'll pick up social interactions from their surroundings, especially if they're the only bunny around. Jumping around and at each other is a rabbit form of play (and courtship)

the rabbits in the above gif are courting. It could be that her rabbit was playing with the people they were launching off of (or courting them). I'm not sure how much rabbits divide up human bodies into different entities in their minds but a human head is about the same size as a rabbit, makes all the noises and is, at least in my case, often kissing and nuzzling them. They could have seen people's heads as something rabbitish enough to want to try to engage in play with. Excited rabbits love to dart, jump, leap and otherwise be energetic and interactive if they like the people around them and feel safe in the environment. Her rabbit could have been trying to find a middle ground between what passes for a rabbit's playtime and whatever kind of weird stuff humans' would count as play time.

Or the rabbit could have been feeling territorial and been kicking to establish their dominance. Put that ugly weird shaped rabbit on notice that it wasn't the boss of the place. Not necessarily mean, just feeling the need to be bossy.

Off the top of my head? Since the people were laying down and the rabbit was seeking them out and then launching off of them, it sounds more like playing. But it really comes down to context and how the rabbit was acting before and after the launch as well as whether it saw the human rocket pad as threatening or not.

As for nibbling the earlobes - sometimes bunnies forget that humans don't have fur and their grooming gets a bit too aggressive. Sometimes they see something that just needs biting. Sometimes they nip to tell someone to back off, they've had enough attention for now. Sam's got a bad habit of nipping my butt if I'm sitting in what he thinks is the way of his traffic pattern. Also I think he likes the way it makes me jump.

Considering I also sit in front of a computer screen and stare at it for hours I can't really judge what a bunny does in their downtime with a birdcage but I will add that a lot of rabbits sleep with their eyes open, so maybe it was napping. Maybe it was watching its daily soap opera. The mind of a bun can been pretty unfathomable sometimes.

Thanks for sending me this ask! I love talking about bunnies and their strange behavior. It's nice to get a question I can dig down into and have fun with. You've made me very happy and enriched my environment so thank you! I hope your day/night is as awesome as you are!

[writingonesdreams]

Hello, hello, and happy world building wednesday to you! ^^ I hope you're having a lovely one.

So, I wanted to ask more about these sentient islands. Why? Because they are awesome. What kind of obstacles do they put in people's way? How do they help them? Do they ever like herd the dragons to people who annoy them? Or is it more like 'there wasn't a tree there before, was there?'

First of all, the islands don't want their sentience to be known, so at first their interventions are hard to notice. They range from getting lost in the forest through going around the same area that keeps changing so you go in circles, to earthquakes and changes of weather (they can speed up and change their hight), causing storms and mists.

The islands also react to emotions from the people, so they react to fear with elevating fear and being scary, sending in swarms of insects and rampaging animals or weirdly active tree vines and branches.

They also don't like conflict, so any interpersonal dispute between the group of 6 stranded on the island leads to direct worsening of conditions and weather fluctuations like sudden floods and hail storms, thicker growing trees so it's harder to go through the forest or leave the shard island you are currently on. The islands basically force people to gather at one place and not spread their negative energy around XD.

After the meeting with dragons the characters will start to notice the interference more, since the evidence will start to add up, but also because the dragons know. They know not to provoke the islands and react to its bad and good moods and even how to get into their good graces and get benefits for themselves. This way the meeting and confrontation with the dragons is a key moment, because if the group can appease the dragons, they can coexist with the islands as well.

After that, the islands become more open about their actions. Plants get poisoned if they so decide, exactly at the places the characters are not supposed to be or when it disagrees with their actions (but it also creates natural antidote when the distribution is solved). The paths in the forests clear up if they want to lead them somewhere, rivers change their courses to be closer or even dry up in punishment.

The most influential obstacle will be the islands' sudden phase in the last third, when they suddenly amplify the characters' magic. Which seems nice at first, but then it becomes overwhelming, with their magic becoming out of control and hurting them in the process. Which is also the most direct way the islands communicate what they really want the characters to realize.

But it also becomes possible to show respect and even communicate with the islands. Listening to the dragons and actively observing and preparing according to their behavior for one, watching for patterns for another, but also praying to the islands for things in exchange. Having the islands on your sides for resources or crisis is a big help may I add :).

This was fun to summarise together. Thanks for the question, Ren!^^

[trad-masculine]

This is a very powerful point. I don't want to deminish it, however I want to add, it is possible to meditate out of some of the struggle.

Pain is just sensation. It might scare you or make you feel like you must behave such to make it change, but your actions are up to you. People have run on broken ankles. Mind can overcome matter with practice.

Mind can also overcome mind.

I used to have aspergers, not noticeably, at least to strangers, but I was really off the game socially. I did not grok other human beings. I was good at masking, I had a sophisticated system of behaviors and rules to avoid problems and to guess and mimic what would be "normal" behavior.

One day in my early twenties I had an insight, that human behavior was all about emotions, all about sharing in vibes together. Not, like, a list of rules everyone else had been given at birth but which I had to figure out through trial and error.

I started working on my emotions. Started trying to understand how emotions worked. At first it was like the masking, but much more accurate and correct. But as I started to pay attention to emotion, I started to be with myself in emotions that at a gut level I knew made sense, in and with the vibes of other people.

One day I was meditating of a sort, very deep in my own mind, feeling out how my emotions related to other people, playing with my memories of different moments and feelings, I tweaked something. The facade of my aspieness broke and melted away. A giant blanket lifted and my I no longer had to force emotions, so to speak, it became natural and intuitive.

I had a lot from my old self that was in place, that wasn't the reaction, thought or feeling of my new, clearer emotioning mind. Some I kept because I liked and valued the uniqueness of it, others I changed and rewrote as habits, watching mindfully for them to come up to awareness as I think, talk, write and interact with people. I have a kind of best of both worlds I'm building on from that.

Not sure what I touched on in my head that provided that kind of change, but I definitely expect that level of changing the formative patterns of the brain is possible for most other problems. Especially with the use of psychedelics.

Another different example is back when I was suicidally depressed after a severe back injury (causing chronic pain) and a lot of failure in what I wanted from life. The horror of my personal misery and the misery of life became unbearable. I knew exactly what hell describes within the human soul. It's hard to describe just how compulsively awful every waking moment was day after day.

Everything in me wanted to run, scream, make it stop, yet all I could do is suffer pointlessly. All there was to do is curl up and die.

One of the techniques I'd learned from yoga to deal with myself is just to sit with the fire, and let it pass through me, to explore and observe it, but not hold on. I did that. It was hard, I mean to bear the unbearable is hard. But in doing it I realized I could live with it. I could struggle through the struggle. I could be and feel hopless and still operate. It wasn't fun. But it couldn't make me do anything.

So it became obvious that even at the worst imaginable, I was gonna be alright. So I was alright. A few months later the same feeling came back, but the same approach got me through that second dark night of the soul. There was a lot of thoughts intermixed with the feels, but simply allowing myself to sit with it without judgement made a profound difference.

I also have dyslexia. In terms of ND it's my most distracting, but also my favorite. It's an engine for creativity. I'm pretty sure I can go to where the dyslexia is, where I can feel it in my brain and pay attention to it. Maybe heal it. Relearn how to use my brain without scrambling everything up in the process.

A lot is possible with meditation.

Its not self talk. It's not thinking at yourself, shouting at yourself to change or to be different. It's not beating yourself up over your flaws.

It's about watching yourself without judgement. Without talking back. Letting yourself happen as you are, without pretense. To simply be with yourself, within. Then once you are there, and comfortable, things can change. Usually by letting go, by taking something away, by Mari kondoing a pattern of circuit or origin of feeling once you find it and relax with it, accept it.

You can't think your way out, but you can think your way in. To sit deep enough within to escape enough to take the first small new step to a new place.

Say you break your ankle. You could know everything there is to know intellectually about the injury. Even with this vast knowledge, you will still experience physical pain.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

That is to say: you are not a bad, lazy, or selfish person for struggling, even if you know why you are struggling.