#so it mightnt be true to other autistic people

[agerefandomrambles]

Title: changing

Word count: 971

Little! Quinni

Cg! Cash

Warnings: spoilers for season 2 hbh, autistic meltdown

Plot: Quinni regresses at the zoo and doesn't want to let Darren or Harper help.

"I don't want to be a burden but I'm never given any time or warning to prepare" Quinni says through unskilled tears.

Cash's eyes widen with sympathy and understanding. He doesn't say anything yet though, choosing instead to let her speak.

By the expression on her face and the words, it's clear she's been feeling like this for a long time and she needs to let it out.

"And then I find this thing. This one thing that I can control, that I can share with you all and participate in, that I'd be useful for, and I'm told that I'm doing that wrong too!" Quinni is crying by this point, her tears mixing with the green of her makeup.

"It's just not fair!" Quinni sobs, the higher pitch of her voice making it clear that she's slipping. Cash just stands still, trying to figure out what to do.

Darren runs off after Quinni, thrusting the cake into his hands. Cash just stands there in shock, still processing what just happened.

Darren returns after a few minutes, head hanging low. "She's not talking to me. Someone else try." They mumble, eyes watery.

"I'll go" Harper replys quickly, running off in the direction Quinni went. She returns almost immediately though. "They don't want me either. I don't know what to do." Harper says, eyes wide.

"I think... I think I want to try" Cash finally speaks up. He can quickly feel 3 sets of eyes turn his way but he pointedly looks at the floor. He doesn't give them a chance to talk him out of it and instead starts walking over to Quinni.

He finds her quickly. She's in a corner between two fences. She's sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up and her head hidden in her knees. As Cash approaches, he can hear her crying softly.

He gets low onto her level, squatting just in front of her. He doesn't say anything for a moment, not wanting to make her panic or freak out any more then she already is.

Once he's sure that she knows he's there, he speaks up. "Hey Quinni, it's Cash. Can I sit down next to you?" He says softly, careful to keep his voice low.

She doesn't respond but he does get the tiniest head nod.

He sits down next to her, lowering himself down against the fence. Again, he just sits in silence for a moment, giving her a moment to adjust. "I'm going to ask a couple of question. You don't have to speak, but do you think you can tap my hand once for yes and twice for no?" He asks, still hyperaware of the volume of his voice. Again, he doesn't get a response, instead getting a gentle shake of her head.

He stays silent for a moment, trying to think of a way to communicate with her in a way she's comfortable with. "What about the floor? Can you tap the floor once for yes and twice for no?" Quinni doesn't respond for a moment, then she gently knocks her knuckles against the floor once.

Cash smiles a little, happy at the progress. Again, he gives her a moment to rest before asking another question. "Is it OK that I'm here?" He asks. Quinni doesn't even pause, knocking the floor once as soon as the question leaves his mouth.

He stops for a moment, then asks, "are you feeling small?" This time, there's a long pause, then a single quiet knock. When she knocks on the floor, she lifts her head slightly. She peeks over her knees at Cash before quickly ducking her head back down.

"Awe that's all good kiddo. I'm guessing you don't want Darren or Harper to watch you huh?" He asks, already pulling out his back up regression kit out of his backpack. As he's pulling it out, he hears two knocks on the floor.

"How about this? Why don't we go back to yours, just us two, and I'll watch you?" He asks. She pulls her head up and looks at Cash wearily. He doesn't say anything, just hands her the regression kit. She pulls out a paci and a small marble fidget before mumbling, "not a caregiver".

Cash just chuckles at that. He packs up the regression kit and puts it back in his bag before responding. "Yeah I am little one. I just haven't been one very long that's all. Do you wanna come with me or do you have someone else I can call?" He asks gently, happy that she's talking now.

"Come with you" she mumbles, popping the paci into her mouth. Cash nods and stands up with her. Quinni grabs his hand once she's up.

Cash leads her out and into his car. He buckles her up and hands her an apple puree before getting in. He sends a quick text to the rest of the group to let them know that Quinni's ok and with him. He then starts the car and drives them to her place. He keeps the windows down and the radio off.

As they drive, Quinni get progressively happier. She points out different animals as they drive through the suburbs and by the time that Cash pulls into her driveway, she's giggling and tapping her hands to her chest lightly.

"Ok Froggy, let's go inside" Cash says. Quinnk just giggles at him, but frowns when the seatbelt won't come undone. Cash quickly swoops in and undoes the seatbelt.

Quinni grabs her bag and skips into her house. She excitedly pulls Cash into her room and pulls out her box of regression gear.

Cash plays with her for a solid 2 hours before she finally crashes into a nap. He tucks her into bed and settles down on the floor, texting Darren.