#so intimate. they love each other sooooooo much!!!!!

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Bathed in purple light.

In love.

In freedom. 💜✨

THEM

[awkward-walking-potato]

I’m obsessed with how you write for Logan, like it’s becoming an addiction at this point. Maybe after a hard week for reader and for Logan, they finally get some time together. So Logan puts on some slow music from the 40s/50s and pulls reader into the kitchen of the apartment to slow dance together. So they just hold each other, maybe discuss some things, or get kind of vulnerable with each other. And it’s just cute and sweet. And then from the living room Wade speaks up, breaking their perfect moment together because let’s be honest, it’s Wade. I love your writing sooooooo much. Thank you🤍

Dancing in the Kitchen

The apartment was quiet, a rarity these days. The week had been long—brutal even. Missions, confrontations, sleepless nights—both you and Logan had been worn thin by the constant demands of a world that never seemed to give either of you a break.

But tonight, the world was far away. The curtains were drawn, the lights dimmed low. The only sound was the steady hum of the fridge and the occasional creak of the old wooden floorboards beneath your feet. You leaned against the kitchen counter, letting out a deep breath. The weight of the past days still clung to you like a heavy coat, but at least here, in this small space with Logan, you felt some semblance of peace.

Logan appeared in the doorway, his broad shoulders filling the frame, and you couldn’t help but smile. His usual scowl was softened, the lines of his face more relaxed than you’d seen in days. He held up an old vinyl record, its cover worn but still intact, and nodded toward the living room.

“Thought we could use a little music,” he said, his gruff voice tinged with a warmth that made your heart swell.

You nodded, watching as he moved to the old record player he’d insisted on keeping despite its age. The needle dropped, and soon the soft crackle of the record filled the air, followed by the smooth, crooning voice of a singer from long ago. The melody was slow, languid, like honey dripping from a spoon, sweet and comforting.

Logan turned back to you, holding out his hand. “C’mon, darlin’. Let’s dance.”

You hesitated for only a moment before slipping your hand into his. His grip was firm, but gentle as he pulled you into the center of the kitchen. There wasn’t much room, but it didn’t matter. In fact, it felt more intimate this way, with the small space making you press closer to him.

Logan’s other hand settled on your waist, and you looped your arm around his neck, your fingers brushing against the short hairs at the nape. For a few seconds, neither of you moved, just swayed slightly to the rhythm of the music, finding a comfortable sync.

“I miss this,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

Logan’s lips twitched into a small smile. “Yeah, me too.”

The two of you began to move slowly, your bodies swaying in time with the music. There was something almost magical about it, the way the world seemed to fade away until it was just the two of you in this moment. The tension that had been coiled tight in your chest started to loosen, and you found yourself resting your head against Logan’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

“You’ve been holdin’ up okay?” Logan asked, his voice rumbling through his chest and into your ear.

You sighed, a little shakier than you intended. “It’s been hard. I feel like I’m running on fumes.”

He tightened his arm around you, pulling you even closer. “I know the feelin’. But you’re doin’ better than you think. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

You lifted your head to meet his eyes, finding them softer than usual. “You really think so?”

“Hell yeah,” he replied without hesitation. “You’ve been through worse, and you’ve come out on top every time. This week’s just another bump in the road.”

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you that had nothing to do with the music or the closeness. Logan didn’t dole out compliments often, but when he did, you knew he meant every word. It was one of the things you loved most about him—his unwavering honesty.

“Thanks, Logan,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Anytime, darlin’.”

For a while, you both just danced, the music wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. You could feel Logan’s breath on your hair, his strong, calloused hand still holding yours firmly, like he was afraid to let go. And for the first time in days, you felt safe, like everything might just be okay.

But then, as if the universe couldn’t resist ruining the moment, you heard a loud, exaggerated sniffle from the living room.

“Oh my God, you guys are so cute, it’s making me nauseous!” Wade’s voice broke through the serene atmosphere, full of dramatic flair. “Seriously, I’m over here trying to watch a movie, and it’s like a Hallmark commercial in there!”

Logan stiffened, and you couldn’t help but laugh. It was impossible to be mad at Wade when he was just being his usual self. You turned your head to see him sprawled out on the couch, a bowl of popcorn balanced on his stomach, his mask pulled up just enough to reveal his mouth.

“Wade,” Logan growled, though there was more exasperation than anger in his tone.

“What? Don’t look at me like that, Wolvie! I’m just appreciating the domestic bliss you two have got going on here. It’s inspiring. I might even write a poem about it later. ‘Ode to the Mutants Who Dance in the Kitchen’—has a nice ring to it, don’t ya think?”

You rolled your eyes, grinning despite yourself. “Wade, do you ever stop talking?”

“Not unless I’m unconscious, which, thanks to this wonderful healing factor of mine, is pretty rare,” Wade shot back, grinning cheekily.

Logan sighed, shaking his head, but you could see the corner of his mouth twitching upward in a reluctant smile. “You’re impossible, Wilson.”

“And you love me for it,” Wade replied, throwing a popcorn kernel into the air and catching it in his mouth.

You turned back to Logan, the moment interrupted but not entirely lost. You gave him a small smile, your hand squeezing his gently. “We can always try again later.”

Logan nodded, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips. “Damn right we will. And this time, I’m lockin’ the door.”

Wade’s voice piped up again from the living room. “Locking the door won’t keep me out, Honey Badger! I’m like Santa Claus, I’ll find a way in!”

You and Logan both laughed, the tension of the week finally melting away completely. Maybe the moment wasn’t perfect, but it was yours—and that made it better than anything else.

[dark-and-kawaii]

This is for Zevlor mostly because he’s such a fucking knight. Like he drinks respect women juice as though he’ll die without it. Give him a woman who loves having her ass grabbed/spanked. They’re in the heavy make out stage of sex or whatever and maybe he’s lost in the moment. He gives the booty a strong squeeze or maybe his tail swings around and spanks her. He totally didn’t do it consciously and he’s about to start stammering apologies but she just moans and starts whining for him to do it again. She was fairly in control but now she’s a squirming mess for him.

“Zevlor drinks respect women juice”

Leopard you are sooooooo right and this is such a true statement!!! Ughhhh when Zevlor stood up for Tav when Aradin ran his mouth I basically creamed my pants!!!

FUUUUUUUUU~ PLEASE YOU ARE GLOWING WITH THIS ALL!!!! Because yes!!!! *shakes your hand* My god Leopard you have me a mess right now and so inspired!!! Thank you for coming into my ask box and dropping this beautiful- marvelous ask!!!! I salute you and love you!!!

You’d be standing there in his embrace, enjoying the intimate moment only to feel Zevlor’s tail swish behind you- whacking you on your bare ass. His mouth covering yours suppresses your startled cry, but fuck did you enjoy that. He breaks the kiss to apologize, but as he pulls away he sees how you start to crumble in his arms. How your thighs are rubbing together as your slickness coats your inner thighs. Hells, and your mouth- it’s parted, drool dripping down your chin, your eyes glossed over as your flushed face stares up at him.

“Z~Zevy need it ah~ again~ ♡” You whimper, desperate for more of him, desperate to feel used by him, like a whore who needs to be punished.

Zevlor didn’t think his cock could get any harder but gods you were making it a challenge.

His nostrils flare as his nose twitches, scenting you as he looks you over, drinking in your submissive form before him.You were practically a puddle in his hands all because his damn tail had a mind of his own. But he could not deny you his precious little delight. Pulling you to his chest roughly, “ah~ ♡~” his much larger hands wrap around you grabbing fistfuls of your ass, his nails digging into your soft flesh, his claws threatening to rip into your skin….

“Fu’ZEVLOR~ ♡♡!!!” He was kneading and pawing at your ass like a madman, squeezing and pulling and groping- you were a moaning mess. Hoisting you up he presses your back against the wall, his hand cupping your ass while the other grabs a fistful of your hair, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

You didn’t think this old hellrider still had this in him, but you were thankful nonetheless.

Soon he had you bent and pressed against whatever he could find, his nails and hands never leaving your plump ass as his tail came down upon it hard. You’d have tail shaped bruises and welts come morning. But that’s okay, because you knew your Zevy would kiss each one. His hands caressing the marks he left until you were soaking wet once more.

[theriverbeyond]

i love t4t paldulcie and i think it adds a level to them never seeing each other and only knowing what the other looks like by self description and how cam turned those descriptions to portrait. iirc dulcie said she wanted her portrait after she died to be the one cam drew for her and that always read read as very trans coded for me, the desire to be remembered visually as she had been known by the ones who actually got to know her as the person she wanted to be (or came as close to knowing her as she was able to let them) instead of the dying symbol / figurehead her illness and house status had relegated her to

YOU GET IT and there is such an overlap of that trans experience with how like.... if you are a type of sick that drastically impacts your appearance, especially if you experience that chronically starting from childhood, there's just this compounded body horror of having never really gotten to live and desperately not wanting to die but also specifically not wanting to die looking like this. not wanting people to remember you like this. not being, necessarily, *in control* of if people remember you like this.

and there's like, the intimate horror of feeling trapped by the physical shell you exist in and knowing your memory will be distorted that is especially relevant to Dulcie as a young person with cancer who is literally held up as a figurehead/symbol of her house, and has been held up as such for her entire life. the horror that people will forget who you were in exchange for the inspiratory figure they want you to be. when you are valorized to absurdity, but no one notices or cares because you were a young person with cancer who died and once you're dead it becomes about everyone else instead.

And the almost comically massive differences between the memory-of-you-and-you wrt critical illness is magnified and.. explicitified? made more explicit? when it is, again, a horror that is compounded by being trans in a way I think can be sooooooo narrativly meaty. a lot of room to play around in here.

anyway. Dulcie wanting Cam's picture, which looks nothing like her, drawn exactly to her specifications when she was critically ill, to be the picture she is remembered by is just... so much. it's so much. anyway.

[nalyra-dreaming]

COMMENTS on 2x06 - SPOILERS ahead!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *FIRST OFF:OH FUCKING SHIT

Not sure I breathed . . . . . . .

Rashid and Daniel, eating sushi. Weird, but not-conclusive. Love Daniel noticed the lacking postage, because yes. And Rashid... behaves weirdly.

“Raglan” coming when called. HOW did Daniel call him in? And while the observation re Louis is valid… that comment re the “body switching”?? Almost… clumsy.. this show is not clumsy. Massive red flag, imho. Also, the Talamasca wanting to ask questions??? That’s … hmmmm. More like him, if he is really Raglan.

Armand and Louis passive aggressively arguing about potential wall decoration. Delicious. “Wait for revelation to enter the room”. OUCH

Loved Daniel and Rashid covering each other.

THEY ARE BUILDING THEIR LITTLE SCRIPTED PLAY BASED ON CLAUDIA’S DIARIES!!! MOCKING THEM AND THEIR EXPERIENCE! HOLY HELL.

Louis and Daniel are so done with the shit, lol

That visit to Roget’s… the music… the foreshadowing

The juxtaposition of Armand pretending to not have known and clearly commenting on and directing the play in Paris…

Armand going off at “love” at Daniel

“Fuck these vampires” - seems Daniel has read the removed pages???

Oof that … sexual assault. Hard to stomach. And Claudia… you go girl. Loved Madeleine there, top notch acting from everyone

God. Louis all riled up, telling Armand “clothes off, face down in the coffin, can read them to me while I fuck you”. Erm. Holy shit. Holy… fucking shit. Like… that’s… I don’t even have words.

I must say, and this is independent from Louis himself here (!)- but art dealers only speculating on the price of art… sits so unwell with me. Like… only the monetary value matters. It’s… IDK. I hate it with a passion.

Also the coven more or less watching while Louis fumbles Armand… like…

Claudia and Madeleine are everything. I LOVE their dynamic

Louis arguing with Claudia, god, please just… 😭

“Or Armand is mine” 💀

Armand calling her “Claudia de Lioncourt”… because she is his by blood!!! I been sayin’!!

The discussion of Armand with Madeleine was so intimate… I loved how they did it

Does it matter if it was the truth that Claudia is a burden??? YES LOUIS IT DOES

Also breathtaking bitter that Louis was sooooooo convinced he had convinced Armand

The body language in Dubai - and the reveal of never having made a vampire. “Fuck these vampires”!!! The expressions!

The strange crimes… including color film stock????????? Ohhhhhhhhh I have a GUT FEELING

And them calling out into a certain direction hanging off the Eiffel tower??? TO WHOM?!

That discussion between Armand and Louis. I must say… their relationship is even more fucked up than I had thought they would portray it. WAY WAY MORE FUCKED UP. Like… that’s not even funny even more, the way that they shift into those … bitter dynamics. Bitter, so very, very bitter. And the way both their voices shift. Ugh.

Madeleine’s turning was beautiful. And her seeing Claudia like that… made me cry. It was so fitting that they both turned her. Madeleine’s life, flashing by. Lovely.

And god, Louis… reopening the wound. Trying to let the blood bleed out. Hating himself not caring sooooooo much. And that little tidbit re the bond, the fact that there is a feeling for each other there, even if there is no coercion. FORESHADOWING OH GOD

And Armand … pretending he had chosen Louis. God. Fucking shit.

“Games”.

I do believe that Louis might have asked initially for his memories to be erased. I’ve theorized that before and I can see it, because Louis would feel guilty and he would hurting… badly.

Also… Armand saying the “series of abhorrent consequences that followed”… and then “three days after we abandoned him”… there is no saying what timeframe was between the interview and that… shower outs came out of.😏

Bittersweet drinks. The discussion of the bond, the feelings… Louis putting his fingers into wounds. Armand… hurting so much. Louis withholding again, ugh… and…. The Judas’ kiss. And standing by. He… stands by. He lets it happen. Brutal. The way the smile drains from Louis’ face.

The intercuts to Dubai. Holy shit.

“They gave him a choice. He chose”. FUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK

Santiago’s speech.

“fuck your mother”?????? Oh, are we jabbing already???

the music

And there he is. THERE HE IS. 10 Minutes. Okay. Okay.

He looks weird. Acts weird, too. Whose POV are we on there????

HE’S COMING… indeed.

EPISODE INSIDER

not only the stakes for Daniel are ramping up, lol

Tightrope indeed

Jacob: “There’s a lie being told and that Dubai penthouse is a bit of a prison” 💀

And yes Claudia and Madeleine are magnetic

Oh that was improvised?????

“Pissed doesn’t quite cover what Louis feels at the trial”… yeah, no, no shit.

Sam: “He’s back in al his hectic, complicated glory”… that’s one way to put it, lol

Sooooo. I’m kinda afraid. Because I know what will follow, lol, yes, but… Santiago emphasizing the daylight on the stage??? Them stealing color films??? Who were they contacting? Why are Louis, Claudia and Madeleine just sitting there like that. And god the relationship between Armand and Louis??? NGL, when I pointed out it would not be the wholesome romance that some were expecting… >I< did NOT expect it to be this. Did. Not. Because this is several thousand ways of fucked up. Not only for Louis to absolutely fall into this part but also the dynamics wrt to the coven, and Armand’s vulnerability there, and willingness to submit, to just get an OUNCE of affection, FFS. So, so fucked up. Did not see THAT coming. God. It makes me wonder what else we’ll learn in the next two episodes, lol.

I’m not ready to let them go. 😭

[the-phantom-author]

when popstar!gf and hasan first met, it was basically love at first sight for her. it’s cliche but it’s true. he’s beautiful and treats her firmly as an equal, he never dismisses her because of her age, gender, career, anything. he’s so in tune with her they basically finish each others sentences. he even lets her borrow a hoodie when he notices she’s getting goosebumps because it’s pretty cold in his house.

the accidental touches, or the on purpose ones like when he hugs her goodbye and he rubs her back…. the eye contact…. the everything.

she KNOWSSSS she over romanticizes everything. heck, that’s her whole career basically. she chalks it up to it being a few months since she was with someone (in any way), she’s a libra she’s just attracted to. all things romance, just the fact that he was nice to her (the bar is in hell ladies) but she likes him sooooooo so so much. it gets worse the more they get to know each other.

she’s on multiple streams for a good few months. he goes to a concert as a friend, he invites her to his birthday, etc.

and it’s breaking her heart he doesn’t see how head over heels in love she is with him.

with hasan it took more time. sure she was GORGEOUS and so so so smart and insanely talented but hasan is always so focused on his work, he barely even thinks about relationships until it’s too late and he’s left heartbroken because he never realized someone was into him.

so when she starts pulling back after like 5ish months, when she’s busy all of a sudden, when she acts weird on socials, when she seems so much more guarded and focused on the topic at hand, when she’s up late at night posting sad songs, new sad lyrics……. he’s worried.

but more than worried, he’s sad. because not seeing her like once a week, sometimes more, it’s left this hole in his heart. he can’t explain it at first but the more he sees from her on socials, he knows his missing her.

then it’s like an ache. it’s there all the time, he can’t make it stop. he can’t stay asleep, he’s walking up thinking of her. he’s going extra hard in workouts out of pure pent up emotion. he doesn’t feel like eating. he’s extra grumpy to chatters, lashing out at very minor things. doesn’t want to hang out, not into the podcast. he’s gotta do something.

she’s pulled back so much, she misses him the same as he does her, but she knows it’s just better to stay away. but one night, after an awful night on a date with some guy, she miserable, the pap photos hasan sees on insta are her looking angry and sad, he’s gotta do something. his palms are itching seeing her upset. he knows a lot of private stuff about her dating life, he knows how hard it is for her to open up, he knows the look on her face and he knows it’s not good. he realizes he’s in love with her and it’s almost too late.

she gets back home and is just sitting and kinda crying.

he can’t sleep that night knowing she’s so upset so he’s booking it to her place

when he knocks and she opens the door, he sees the mascara streaks in her face and he’s breaking, he’s pulling her into his arms and kissing her, more intimate and more lovingly than she’s ever been kissed. they stand and kiss. and kiss. and she finally pulls him inside her place, he’s pressing her to the door, kissing her more

“i love you,” he breathes

“i love you too” she whispers back.

Popstar!gf being the embodiment of "she fell first, he fell harder" always makes me 😭😭

It's the way he's able to be goofy with her without patronizing her, and how he's able to act silly with her, joking while they are reading the horny DM's the other has got, but he's still able to be respectful of her opinions when it comes to the more serious topic they talk about. The hoodie, I-

The way that the two of them just start hanging out together and can't think not spending their free time together. She's bringing him to concerts, he's having her on stream. He mentions that he's wondered what the process of making music was, so she brings him to the studio a few nights. She mentions how bad at sports she is, so he teaches her how to play basketball.

She's so so so in love and Hasan is so so so oblivious. He likes having her around but he doesn't give himself any room to be able to put a reason why behind it. He doesn't think about why he enjoys their little dinners, where they talk about anything and everything, including how they're viewed by the public. Including how their jobs effect them. Including their dating history.

Her pulling away. Like she knows better than to stay that close to him, she's been there before, and she know what it'll do to her mental health to stay. So she has to pull away and isolate herself away from him. And so she starts dating again, partly because she needs the distraction from Hasan. And he's aware that she's dating, he's seen some of the paparazzi photos of you on dates, and while they all have made him feel a certain way. Nothing ever stacks up to the photos from the last date.

Those photo make him upset in a way that he didn't know he could be. (I can only think of the Madison Beer photos with Zack or whatever his name is). All Hasan knows is that he needs to get to you. There is no other thought in his head, just that he knows that he can make it better and he needs to fix it. It's the moment that she opens the door that he realizes that he loves her.

[psi-psina]

It's been like over a month and I need to just express my feelings about this scene because even THINKING about it is too much sometimes so I need to just write my feelings down 😞

I love this scene so much, I could honestly hardly breathe, i was genuinely unprepared for how hard it hit me. At this point in the game I felt a deep attachment to both Clive and Jill, and the bond between them. Playing as Clive, I found myself going around thinking of Jill constantly. Whenever I was running around helping people and doing errands and solving problems for them, I was often just longing to get it all done so that I could return to Jill and hopefully have her by my side again. This feeling also made me EXTREMELY attached to Clive (as well, of course, being quite in love with him). This game is husband & wife + pet dog adventure simulator for real.

So when this scene rolled around, I was so unprepared. I genuinely wasn't expecting something like this to be shown between them. This is the first time, finally, after dozens of hours, that we see Clive and Jill COMPLETELY alone together. Their nakedness and the starkness and OPENNESS of the environs serve to emphasize this so beautifully. I feel like this scene would not have had the same effect if it had been placed indoors, or in a place they could have been even theoretically intruded upon. The fact they are so COMPLETELY isolated and vulnerable by being so naked in this open setting makes the scene feel EXTREMELY private and intimate.

And the intimacy portrayed between them genuinely made me feel like i was watching something so private between two people that i shouldn't be witnessing at all. I've seen a lot of people say this scene made them cry but that wasn't the case for me at all. It made me a little breathless and I genuinely had to cover most of my face while watching it because it was so intimate and vulnerable. I felt like I was intruding.

You see Jill entrust her Eikon- her power & her pain, an enormous burden that is nonetheless a huge part of who she is and a difficult thing surrender - to Clive. Clive takes this part of her into himself and they then exchange deep, intimate vows of devotion, responsibility and love to each other while completely exposed and naked in each others arms. I'm sorry but the love, the deep bond of trust, respect and devotion they express to each other, in this scene especially, is almost unbearable. I am actually beside myself lol.

I'm not even going to start going into the broader symbolism and specifics in this scene and many others throughout the game because it pertains directly to the ending and I can't handle the emotional damage. that's for a long time in the future. like potentially years, or never lmao. bc there is one thing that i just physically can't accept and never will be able to sooooooo.

[mylittleredgirl]

Janeway/Seven for the ask game?

(ship asks) (sorry i lost this in my drafts for a while!!)

Don’t Ship It...... but

1. Why don’t you ship it?

i kind of debated how to answer this because i do ship it in the sense that it's intensely interesting to me, there's a LOT of canon to work with, and sometimes i like to play around with that canon and stare at it and pick it apart, but i usually come away from it saying "hmm. don't like this for seven." there is soooo much tangled romantic and sexually charged energy between them, but i find some specifics of their power imbalance uncomfortable for a romantic arc, so i don't tend to seek out fic. in the final balance, i don't ship it more than i do.

2. What would have made you like it?

honestly, it's a fluke of timing. i watched voyager live as a young teen girl who was trying and failing to both be and not be my mother, so that intensely intimate push and pull between janeway and seven as seven fights to define herself hit me a certain way. (i was also trying and failing to end up straight and so was aggressively het-reading everything from this to xena warrior princess.) but if i had been five years older and had internet access to fanfic, it would have been the perfect moment to hit me with "hot powerful older woman wants to both help and control the most beautiful young woman ever (who has Something Wrong With Her), and ends up loving her sooooo much that she's fully insane about it."

and i somehow skipped over that critical period because now i'm closer to janeway's age and i work sometimes with newly-adult girls who imprint on me because they're going through something and i'm an authority figure who's being kind to them, so it's harder for me to drop in and enjoy a power imbalance fantasy.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

YES!!! it's one of the great femslash ships!! there's so much canon interaction that's intense and emotional and shippy as hell. i have no doubt in my mind that janeway loves seven. seven is a challenge and an obligation and a gift and her most interesting project and her intellectual match and her feral rescue dog and her surrogate daughter and her noble accomplishment and her unwilling protege and her friend and the most intense emotional relationship she has. seven's feelings are deeply and understandably conflicted. they're both damaged and do damage to each other. i feel the need to jump up and defend j7 even though i don't ship it, because i'm mostly a j/c shipper and there are sooooooo many j7 deniers there who pretend there's no canon basis for j7 and it's like. come on. come onnnnnnn with your eyes and your ears. it's one thing if you don't like that it's happening, my position here is that half the time seven doesn't really like it either, but it's there.

[babiefries]

you answered that ask i sent about urb being a sweetheart perfectly & i agree 100%. also feel free to continue as much as you want, never apologize for continuing your thoughts! i have some below.

i think urb is the type to not believe in soulmates, but he meets u and then he can’t deny it, knows they have to be real. he felt his world shift when he met you. you’re so unbelievably special to him.

but also imagine him not knowing or realizing how much better/intense/etc sex can be when you’re absolutely in love & truly connected to the soul to someone until he’s with u. he feels insatiable all the time, fucking is so good and like nothing he’s ever experienced before, and it’s bc u both just feel so connected to each other. when u look into each others eyes when ur fucking it ends up being the most intense orgasm u both have had. and it’s similar with other close and intimate positions.

but when u start fucking without condoms its almost like another shift. it’s unreal how good it feels for both of u, it’s so intense and you can feel the soul connection between you both so powerfully. but urb feels so fucking good fucking u raw he can hardly handle it. like the best high he’s ever had.

he’d be insatiable when it comes to you. he just wants to make you feel good, like that’s his main priority. ofc he wants blowjobs and to fuck u and such but u have to cum on his face first almost every time. and fuck……with that scruff it would feel so good. makes me clench thinking about it.

and he just loves eating pussy so fucking much…has to have it on the regular. cause 1. he loves making u feel good but also 2. his main motivator is that u taste so fucking good on his tongue he just wants. loves tongue fucking u and making out with the pussy essentially and hearing those moans from u knowing he’s the cause. makes him so fucking hard he probably could come from that tbqh, especially when u start riding his face, he just accepts his fate that he’s gonna come untouched from that.

but yeah he’s a romantic at heart and also knows u inside and out, knows every favorite and least favorite, every goal and every fear, all the things about u. so he knows exactly what would cheer u up, motivate you, make ur bad days better. (i want something now about him helping his girl thru a bad day 🥺)

and u never meant to tell him everything, but it just kinda happened. u just felt so safe with him the one night u were talking that it just kinda tumbled out. also means he knows the best things to do for you romance wise and it always catches u off guard cause he’s that good at it.

i really love the idea of being each others safe place. u have always told him the safest place u feel is being wrapped up in his arms and he also just becomes ur safe person. it goes both ways too, urb knows he can tell u anything without fear of judgement or anything and he probably would end up telling u things that maybe jack wouldn’t even know. and imagine jack would want to get to know u so bad bc he needs to know the girl that took his best friends heart.

also yes i think he’s gonna be so goofy with his lover omg, she probably jokes that she can’t stand him but the look in her eyes says it all.

am confident urb would share his weed with her all the time, loves smoking and getting high with his baby.

also yes i agree he’s planning dates all the time around his crazy schedule and sometimes u go on dates while he’s traveling cause it’s a priority of his. and he always sweeps u off ur feet so to speak cause it’s just. he’s so good at it. but every date has a photoshoot. has multiple files of pictures of u. some before the date with just you then with him, some fit checks, a ton of off guard pics and also rated r pics.

would have post orgasm pics where u look absolutely fucked out, ones from during, with new sets of lingerie. actually he would probably do boudoir type shoots of u a lot, he has sooooooo many ideas.

def agree he’d look at her like she hung the stars and the moon. (would take her camping i bet too so they can watch the stars 🥹) she’s everything in his eyes, like his whole world tbh.

jack would want to get to know her so bad. urb would prob hide her away from everyone cause he wants her all to himself in the early months but eventually jack gets to a point where he feels like he needs to meet the person who’s stolen his best friends heart. ofc jack would love her cause she makes urb so fucking happy, but i think that they would be able to bond super easily regardless.

i’m glad you agree he’s a sweet boy, i believe in it so strongly. did not mean for this to be this long i just started and kinda couldn’t stop. 🫣

also — a note at the end. urb would slay at the met gala tbqh

Wow I agree with all of this word for word especially with Jack wanting to meet the girl that got his bestie so wrapped around her finger.Like when/if urban is finally in love and it’s in the early stages I can definitely see him being a bit on guard being that he is a now very well know photographer for his bestie jack that someone would try and take advantage of his liking towards them to benefit their selves into getting closer to jack.But as time goes on he sees that you really have true intentions at the start and are there for him in the long one and that his feelings are important to you that you wanna build a strong relationship.And Ik that other people are gonna have there opinion about how urban is with women being as some people like to be too in his business for a person they do not personally know at all but with what we have seen over time urban looks like he knows how have a good time for himself and others around him,he just seems like he brightens up the room with his banter and that the more that you get to know him that he can show you a side of him that’s more reserved for people he keeps close to his heart but also you’d get to see the side of him that loves and cherishes you so much.Like I said before once urban finds his person it’s game over like that man is locked in for life! Whether or not he has his relationship public people are gonna know that this man has someone waiting on him at home that not anyone can compete or compare to in his eyes✨😌I also feel like if he is a bit public about it that he’s definitely just gonna like spam post her randomly then go back to regular program 😂😭like there will not be a time when he ain’t letting his girl shine and have her moments like she literally got a professional photographer as her man he’s getting every angle and making sure his baby look good okay💅🏽😌

Urban would absolutely love smoking and just vibing with his girl(me personally I don’t smoke but I think I would dabble in the future)like I can imagine how goofy y’all would be together just high and being in the moment with each other and having one of those like “moments” where everything just feels so right like the universe is at a stand still and it’s just you guys ora coming together and making you feel whole with each other.

Sex would just be a whole new experience for y’all feeling that type of intimacy of being so close together like y’all are becoming one soul with to body’s and it’s just so intense that you both just get so lost in the feeling and how wonderful it is.

I would try and write more but my brain is just so distracted and I can’t focus on one thing😭but I think our boy Urban is and absolutely sweetheart and a romantic when it comes down to his future person he would buy her the entire galaxy if he could

[jhilsara]

Part 5 please??

Since you asked *v*

The next month (JULY) goes by and it is filled with unruly sexual tension between Sam and MC.

Damien can hear it all in both of their heads to and wants to slam himself against the wall because of it.

They awkwardly are dancing around their feelings and avoiding taking about it.

MC doesn’t want to push Sam into something and she sure as hell doesn’t know how relationships work for Incubi… or if they even do relationships.

Honestly, she still doesn’t know much about them, well except for the notes on magic and demon creatures her grandfather left. Which, while somewhat helpful, is not comparable to just asking them…

She’s reading over the book in his study when James comes in.

“Oh sorry, didn’t know you were in here today.” He apologizes “No, it’s fine.” She slams her grandfathers’ books closed and pushes it away from her in frustration. James quirks a brow. “Doesn’t look fine.” She wants to pull her hair out, “It’s not you it’s grandpa’s journals and short hand magic. I can’t really decipher a lick of it.” “Want me to look at it?” He asks grabbing his own book of log information for the company. “Sure. Knock yourself out. I need a brain break.” She hands it over to him. “You want me to translate it to something legible?” James asks “You don’t need to! I’d appreciate it but you have a lot on your plate.” “It’s fine. I can read your grandfathers short hand quite well now. He used it too in his work notes.” James “Thanks James.” “Could you do me a favor? This will take a little bit of time; can you handle dinner tonight?” James “Absolutely!”

She cooks dinner with Matthew that night. So, she has a pair of extra hands and also Matthew likes to be helpful… or nosey in this case.

“Sooooooo…” Matthew draws out while he’s chopping veggies. “yes?” She laughs “You and Sam have gotten pretty close huh?” He prods She raises a brow at him, “Um, I guess? Not any closer than I am with you all though.” She responds Matthew laughs, “So you’d let any of us take a nap with you all cuddled up?” Her face goes red and she whips around to him. “Not cute Matthew.” “I’m just asking if you and Sam are a thing yet!” he shrugs with a shit eating grin She groans, “We’re not anything Matthew.” She lets out a sigh and grabs a kitchen towel to whip down the counter. “We haven’t even talked about it okay?” Matthew raises a brow at her, his smiling fading, “Wait, like, you and Sam just were really close almost intimate the whole vacation and nothing? Not even a conversation.” She wants to scream. “Wow, I mean I knew Sam was emotionally constipated but damn.” “That’s what I mean! I’ve tried to approach him twice and he’s run for the hills. I mean…” she fidgets with her hands. “Do demons even get into relationships?” Matthew shifts his eyes, “Well, I mean… yes we do. But uh, none of us really have great examples to pick from when it comes to examining a healthy loving relationship.” Now it’s her to turn to be curious. “Erik vaguely mentioned once your dad was a real monster… What did that mean?” Matthew groans and tries to focus on cooking while answering, “He’s awful. Like your dad sucks don’t get me wrong but our dad… he’s killed people and started wars and I’m not exaggerating.” A shiver runs down her spine. “And your mom?” “More like moms, plural. We all have a different mom… James mom was the first one, the first wife. But our dad, the Demon Lord, it wasn’t enough. Then he married Erik’s mom and rinse and repeat. Except Damien’s mother… he never married her, he’s a bastard son…” Matthew’s gripping the knife hard in his hand, not moving to cut veggies anymore. “Matthew you don’t have to talk about it-” she tries to stop him. “No, it’s- it’s not fine, but we can’t never talk about our old lives.” He sighs before continuing. Shoving the veggies into a pan to cook them. “Our moms did not have good relationships. They wanted power and would get terribly jealous of each other. So much so the Demon Lord finally just took all of our mothers and destroyed their physical forms, turning them into orbs…” he sighs and turns to MC “Anyway, our parents didn’t have great love stories. Most incubi and succubi don’t even believe in love. It’s a human emotion, not one that many of us know…” “Oh.” Her shoulders slump in defeat. Matthew looks up at her face and panics a bit, “Hey it’s not impossible! I didn’t mean to bum you out! I just… I’m just saying we wouldn’t know what love looks or feels like. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible though.” He grabs her arms and makes her look at him. “I’ve seen how Sam looks and interacts towards you. It’s not how he’s ever been. When we were in the Abysall Plains, he was so filled with rage. Always fighting anything and everyone. Even our father. All the time. Since he met you though? That’s a different person.”  “I don’t know if love is real, or if we feel it, but I can tell you he feels something besides rage and it’s because of you.” “Thanks Matthew…” she hugs him tightly.

James gives her his copy of her grandfather’s notes at dinner, well the first 10 pages, and she’s ecstatic.

She takes it upstairs after dinner to immediately start reading them. It makes so much more sense to her now. She’s still confused by how magic works, and if she can even preform it, but it’s better than her trying to decipher her grandfather’s short hand by herself.

She falls asleep reading the notes on her bed. Until she’s rudely awoken. And it’s mega rude.

DIAAAAAAANAAAAAA LET ME BE THE ONE TO LIGHT A FIRE INSIDE THOSE EYES~

Anyway, Diana shows up, and uh very rudely wakes her up. Also she is not trying to play pretend with a human disguise she is full on succubus form and it’s the first one MC has seen since the boys have not reveled theirs yet.

First MC hears an obnoxious giggling but it’s the heat next to her face that wakes her up abruptly.

The notes James had just written for her are all on fire, in purple flames. It surrounds her, only burning the papers, but she can feel the heat.

Before she can scream there is a woman on her bed cover her mouth, and she definitely looks like a demon. She’s covered in purple marks with horns on her head and a thin tail whipping behind her.

MC looks around frantically trying to do something, but the fire and the woman are overwhelming her.

She looks back to the demon in front of her, and she feels the ebbing of enthrallment blend its way into her brain. She doesn’t like this enthrallment.

It makes her feel mush in her brain, like theirs no choice but to look at this woman who is still on top of her.

The demon slowly removes her clawed hand and gets closer to MCs face.

“So, you must be that Warlocks kin, right?” is the first thing this woman says to her. She doesn’t process it at all. “Answer me girl.” She sounds unamused. MC just nods her head, it’s too fuzzy to talk. “Mmmm, I’m going to do you a favor and get rid of these papers for you.” She slowly grabs a page of the notes and watches it fizzle away into ash in her hand. “You should think me before the Angels find out about you.” She looks back to MC and her face in unamused and fierce. “I’m taking those incubi brothers back home where they belong human. I don’t care how long they’ve been here they do not belong in this world. I need them to stop the war their father is going to unleash.” MC tries to break the enthrallment but she stays under the control of the succubus, who is slowly taking her energy and she barely touches her. She grips onto the MCs next, not enough to bruise but tight enough. “Do not tell them you saw me tonight human. I will rip your world apart. All of your friends and loved ones, gone. I’ll make sure your biggest fear becomes real…You’ll be alone, unloved.” The fear in her body rises as she looks at this woman who easily could kill her, and also apparently end her emotional and social life too. “I’ll take them tomorrow so say your goodbyes.” She let’s go of her throat and MC is gasping. As the demon rises she looks at the ashes left on the bed. “I am serious about that magic business you know. If you go digging Angels will come for you… They see everything pretty black and white and pick and choose who can use magic.” She leaves the room with that warning and the enthrallment ends. The room spins before MC passes out.

She wakes up late the next morning feeling like absolute shit. She wracks her brain over the night before coming up empty. Until she brushes the ash off her bed.

She bristles and throws herself off her bed. She doesn’t brush her hair or change out of her pjs and she bolts downstairs.

She bursts into the dining room, out of breath, and all five of the boys are in the middle of breakfast and give her a very confused look.

“You’re up awfully late.” James “Geez we’re not gonna eat all the food!” Matthew “What’s up with you?” Sam Her mind races around a million things, all from the previous night. Until her eyes land on Damien. Damien stares at her trying to decipher her thoughts that are running wild. “She’s here.” Damien panic looks at his brothers who are super confused. “Who’s here Damien?” Erik “That succubus… the one whose hand was promised to one of you.” “Excuse me?” James “…” Sam’s sitting in silent rage, his knuckles are white. His eye flash to MC for a second, his anger increasing. “Did she hurt you?” he asks her, calmly, but the anger lingers behind his words. “Uh, no no, she… I mean she threatened to if I told you guys. I think, I think she also took my energy? It’s kind of fuzzy.” MC “She what?!” Sam shouts and it rocks the room. He takes a deep breath and gets up to look at her. The dark circles under her eyes are bad, she’s also rocking on her feet a little. He grabs her arms to settle her, but he can feel her energy. It’s massively low. “She took a lot. How long was she there?” He asks her. “I uh,” She avoids Sam’s intense gaze for a second, looking at Damien behind him before looking back. “I really don’t know. She showed up in the middle of the night and immediately enthralled me. She caught me off guard by burning the notes on my bed.” She says bitterly. “What the fuck.” Sam bites out. He turns to Damien. “She wants to take us back. Back to the Demon Realm…” Damien looks at his brothers in worry. “She’s crazy if she thinks we’re going back with her!” Matthew “She mentioned… stopping a war...? The Demon Lord?”  she mumbles thinking “That doesn’t involve us.” Erik “Well she certainly thinks it does. She told me she’s ruin my life, make sure I’d be alone.” MC “That’s not gonna happen.” Sam says in determination. She backs up from Sam, taking a few steps to just breath. “That’s real nice guys, but this, this is just a lot to process right now.”  She’s caving in on herself. Erik grabs a chair and lowers her into it. She curls herself in the chair and hugs her knees to her chest.  She feels a little defeated and exhausted from supernatural beings trying to kill her. She overhears the boys talking but isn’t registering what they’re saying. She’s lost in her own thoughts, isolating herself. Someone touches her head, patting down her hair, in a soothing fashion. She locks eyes with Sam. “You’re not alone so don’t push us out okay?” he whispers. She nods, her throat still tight. There’s a disruption in the conversation, a summoning circle appears and up comes the succubus from the night before. The group stands their ground, Sam stands in front of MC with Erik, hopefully blocking her from the Succubus.

There's actually not that much left in my notes. I'm still figuring out Diana and the second game. But I can give you what's left (Which is another scene with Sam that I lowkey love) and maybe what the plan is? I think I need to replay it and take some notes ngl

[contrivedchaos]

Fic writers' 2022 roundup:

I've never done one of these before, but I was tagged by @pikapeppa, so I'll give it a shot!

Words written: 54,050. It's not a lot, but other than the year I wrote my master's thesis, it's the most actual writing I've done in a long time, fanfic or otherwise. I'll count it as an accomplishment!

Smut scenes: Oof. Let's see. 6? We'll go with 6. Across four different fics.

New things I tried: Within the last 12 months, I've dipped my toes into the Arcane fandom and finished/posted 3 parts for my (ongoing?) three-part CaitVi series: Every Small Disaster, Say My Name (Like an Elegy), and It's Psychosomatic. It's been so much fun! Hopefully I'll find another opportunity to do more for this pairing. I definitely want to write more of them in the future!

Fic I spent the most time on: My longest fic was Where The Time Goes. I started Chlodine Week 5 years ago for this tiny, desperately-hanging-on fandom, but never wrote anything substantial for it beyond a few oneshots. This year I spent 2-3 months working on a labor of love that I never expected to go anywhere. It was a fic almost entirely for myself, and so far it's my favorite thing I've ever written. I was so happy when it was finished.

Fic I spent the least time on: The first fic for my CaitVi series, Every Small Disaster. (This was technically posted Christmas of 2021, but I'll count it) It was my first time dipping my toes into the Arcane fandom, and I think it came out swimmingly!

Favorite thing I wrote: Definitely Where The Time Goes. Chlodine will always have a special place in my heart. I can't think of a fandom that's more dear to me than the Uncharted fandom. It's been a light through the toughest years of my life so far. I owe a lot to it, and particularly the Chlodine ship. I don't see it being outranked as my OTP any time soon.

Favorite fic(s) I read: I've read so many AMAZING things this year. This list will be DIFFICULT to narrow down. Here goes:

Violence and Variations by Thisisatree (@dancing-b0nes): The Locked Tomb has made up the majority of my fic and book re-reading in 2022, and this one is no exception. Technically started this one in 2021, but it's still ongoing, so I'll count it. While it's like 60% a Griddlehark fic, and sort of a re-imagining of their lives post-TLT, practically every ship, in all their wonderful configurations, gets their dirty day in the sun. I have been on the edge of my seat for more than a year with this one, and it shows no signs of stopping. Also extremely spicy! I'm so hooked!

Twice by BonesforTime: Another TLT fic, this one's a re-imagining of the events at Canaan House in Gideon the Ninth, with such a unique take on what it means to be a Lyctor and on the dynamics of the cavalier/necromancer relationship. And lore and world-building! Another Griddlehark-focused fic, this one constantly has me in stitches, combined with such a raw, intimate writing style for the smut scenes. Bones has such a way with words, and they continue to amaze me with each new installment. Definitely continuing this one into 2023!

Table Manners by Armengard (@armengard): Y'all know I go absolutely feral for anything by Armengard. Their first contribution to the CaitVi space is no exception. They took me out with a one-shot earlier this year that will undoubtedly be on my fic re-read rotation for years to come. Can't say enough positive things about their entire catalog, so this one is also definitely worth a read. And sooooooo spicy! Whew!

Even The Hardiest Desert Blooms Need to Get Wet Sometimes by Pikapeppa (@pikapeppa): Literally the only writer of MLW ships this lesbian will read these days. Their writing style is just that good. It's so refreshing and engaging that if they decided to author a dictionary, I'd probably read it. I jumped back into the Horizon fandom (extremely late, forgive me) after a major surgery over the summer, and the first thing I did upon playing Forbidden West was dive back into their fics. This one is a Drakkaloy fic, and is not only entertaining, but also extremely spicy. Definitely a must-read!

Your Mouth and Its Flowers by driluth (@driluth): Technically late 2021, but I'll count it. This is a CaitVi AU based on one of my favorite books of 2022, This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. The symbolism! The way Red and Blue are literally Vi and Caitlyn, and are so amazingly portrayed in this AU! Definitely a hidden gem for me to find in 2022! But I'm so glad I did!

Writing goals for next year: I don't have any particular writing goals for 2023. I'm looking forward to the Horizon Forbidden West DLC, so if I can get my hands on a PS VR 2, maybe I'll get inspired to dip a toe into the Horizon fandom. I'm definitely tempted by all the WLW potential for this series. Also more TLT...Alecto is coming in September, so there is still more to work with. We'll see!

[rennerator]

LOVE LOVE LOVE SOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!! S2 Oh, The Feelings!!!! They BELONG!!!! They LOVE EACH OTHER!!!! They have a Profound Bond!!! This is SOOO GORGEOUS and SOOO INTIMATE!!! Like, LOOK AT THEM!!!! It feels like they are in their own little world there, basking on each others presence!!!! I LOVE THIS SOOO VERY MUCH!!! SOOOO GOOD!!! Happy November 5th!!! Thank YOU!!! THANK YOU SO SOO MUCH for this!!! You are INCREDIBLE!!! :) <3

The Truth

Happy Nov 5th to those who celebrate!

No consent to the CW ending. Here's what really happened:

Blue, Amber, Aqua.

Taglist.

Pls DM me if you want to be added to tag list or removed from it.

@aniona29, @cosmiccowboycass, @denimshortsdean, @dotti55, @famouskidangel, @markofcastiel , @malicmalic , @meeshsen , @squirrelsarecool, @strawlessandbraless , @writteninthestarsinyoureyes .

[tentacle-reviews]

But I'm a cheerleader!

I actually found it on youtube so I watched it. watching it on the tv around my mom was a mistake tho... it's a bit uncomfortable, being about conversion therapy and worse of all being about repressed teenagers, it's actually handled pretty well, also it's too campy to be triggering sometimes it's a dark comedy.

the sets are sooooo good, true directions is like a candy colored doll house and a lot of their clothes are shiny plastic it's just so good

(I find it insteresting how everything is pink but green is a secondary color for the director, it's a beautiful color palette but like, green's association with evil maybe?)(also I am still not over the silly faggot sign I need that on a shirt)

what surprised me was how fucking cute the story ended up being? I didn't expect to aww outloud.

the ex-ex-gays were so nice, we still don't see older gay people parental with young gays in media that much? they were sweet they were loving to each other and the kids. Megan sees an equal healthy relationship free of rules and structure for the first time.

and Megan and Graham were so cute, their more intimate scenes had a lot of chemistry, the scenes gave this like, feeling of exploration and finding comfort in each other it was just sweettttt. AND not to mention Megan's little cheer performance for Graham, like, that was sooooooo cuteeeee! theyre so cute! I hope they live happily ever after foreverssss

yeah watch But I'm a cheerleader

[unravellinginyourarms]

Grieving The Gentle & Innocent Love I Thought I Had Lost

01.22.23 at 8:22pm

A few days ago, I listened to Maddie Dragsbaek’s podcast, Emotionally Online, it was the episode about being the “other woman”. One of the most powerful things that stood out to me was when she mentioned how she had been grieving the innocent and gentle love that I wanted so desperately when she was young. She feared that she may never experience such a thing as she aged. Honestly, in that moment, I felt like she could see me across the screen. I was taken aback by what she had said. It’s something that I knew about myself but had failed to put into words for a very long time. The truth is, there are days when I feel worried about the fact that I never really experienced love / intimate moments during my late teens and early 20s. When I think about the types of milestones I hope to have with a partner, I fear that I am too late for things like that. I am concerned that as I progress through my 20s, I will be moving further away from knowing romance, in its purest form. When you date as an adult, things just feel so fucking serious all of the time, and there is a part of me that loathes this. I know that’s just the reality, but what if I never know the feeling of cute dates, sneaking out at night to see each other, losing my virginity in a very sincere way with someone who actually likes me? I don’t know the thrill of watching my high school boyfriend asking me to go to prom in front of the whole school, I don’t know the comfort of having my bf walk me to my uni classes. I don’t know the joy of picking out an anniversary gift or holding hands with someone I love so deeply or feeling like I am the most beautiful person because someone like him loves me. Like Maddie, I have been grieving this perceived loss. But, just like Maddie, I am doing my best to remember that those things do not need to be sacrificed. I can still make those stunning memories, there shouldn't be an age limit on it. Sure, there will be subtle differences, but at the end of the day, I deserve love that gentle and innocent. Once that aims to nurture me and teach me more about myself. That is the love that I know I can provide some day, so I need to remain hopeful, maybe even certain, that my time will come eventually. 

I will confess, it’s been so fucking hard being optimistic. Most days I lean towards detachment because the disappointment that comes from knowing that part of my life is inexperienced and empty, makes me feel really sad and insecure. Growing up, I wasn’t desired by guys that much. Maybe a couple of odd ones had slight feelings for me, but it wasn’t reciprocated. I have never really gotten the chance to know such mutual affection and attraction. I ached for it for sooooooo long. As I got older the tables turned quite quickly. More guys showed an interest in me but I was feeling spent. I was too tired to date, too bored. No one could get through to me. Men seemed very vapid, dull, perverse, or just plain ugly. I couldn’t find anyone that fit with me, and that actually made me feel worse. Because I know there are good men out there, but I just couldn’t understand why I was struggling to find them. Was I the problem? Were my standards too high? I don’t think so, maybe others would disagree. I did my best to be reasonable but I haven’t felt safe enough with any of these guys. In turn, my body and my psyche shut down, I truly wasn’t the same. Attraction decreased, libido plummeted and all I could do was focus on friends, work, and school. I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to enhance and cherish those areas of my life, but I still feel like a fucking loser for having close to zero relationship experience.

I feel too immature, too inexperienced, just like a fucking child. It makes it harder for me to initiate things, I’m constantly rattled by the idea of a many being sexually attracted to me. I still haven’t committed to picking a direction o this matter. All I have been doing is trying to remain positive whilst still focusing on other parts of my life/career. I have to believe that all is not lost, it can’t be. I’m only 23. If life was meant to end by this point then that would be shitty. However, I approximately have about another 60 years of life ahead of me. I think that’s plenty of time for things to change. Over those decades, I will continue to progress towards the life I was meant to live. No matter how slow the process may seem, it’s probably a good thing that I’m not getting everything I ever wanted all at once. Then, there’d be very little to look forward to, very little to work on. And that is the energy I need to foster and maintain with age.

– Isla

[a-pretty-nerd]

UGH! There is not enough Asra Smut out there!

I just finished his ark and I cannot stop thinking about him. Good lord.

So here are some gender neutral NSFW headcannons ❤

Oof this motherfucker is GOoOOoOoD!

Like toe curling good.

They're Horny as fuck.

Like everytime he sees you, the initial feeling is sweet and genuine love but soon that feeling leads to "fuck look how hot they are!"

He cannot keep his hands to himself when you're alone. They're always somewhere unless you explicitly ask to not be touched.

On your knee, holding your hand, on your arm, on your thigh, on your torso, you name it they've been everywhere.

They can't get enough of you ❤

His kisses are always so needy and desperate and begging for more.

The moment your lips touch he takes a deep breath into his chest like he's trying to suck you in.

And they're arms anchor you to his body.

He loves to hold your head when he kisses you. One hand on the back or your head, the other around your waist.

When kisses turn into make outs, his hands take your hips and press them against his. Then proceeds to rock you side to side like you're dancing.

Truly sex with Asra is worthy of the phrase "Making Love" because he really makes love to you.

Unless of course you request something a little more... unhinged?

This bitch F U C K S

Like he always loves slow, sweet, sensual love making but somedays just require a little more, yknow.

Asra is a switch, whatever role you want he's good with and he'll usually let you decide how things are going to go.

But sometimes he has his days where he gets this particular sparkle in his eyes.

Where he begs you to fuck him senseless.

Or whisper in your ear how much he wants you right then and there.

He's very ✨ Versatile ✨

His skin is unreasonably soft. Like he doesn't even have that complex of a routine! How is it THAT soft!?

I feel like Asra isn't like massive or particularly heavy but he does have a very pleasing package.

Like as far as dicks go, Asra has the prettiest dick you have ever seen.

It's like unreasonably perfect looking and it isn't entirely straight. Like it has a slight curve to it on the top.

It's always clean, he's always well groomed, he's always trying to keep himself nice and perfect for you.

He takes great pride in your sex life and relationship.

Like he's not gonna tell everyone you have an amazing sex life, but it's just something that makes him really proud on the inside.

He has a praise kink. He can't help it, he needs that positive reinforcement.

Not because he's insecure or needs to be reassured, but because he LOVES knowing that he makes you feel amazing. He loves knowing he's doing such a good job.

Body Worship 100%

So he loves your entire body but when it comes to sex, he has an affinity for your hips and thighs.

He loves to hook his hands around your thighs and just plow into you. His favorite positions are positions he can do that in.

His hands just fit so perfectly around them.

Receiving oral is sooooooo fun for him. It's such a nice treat for him he loves it. And you do it so well~

He especially loves it when you bite or suck on his thighs while you use your hands to pump his shaft.

Just to sit back and relax and get head? Fuck he'd do anything for that.

He also does love to give oral. But he's a total tease.

Oral from Asra is borderline torture until he suddenly has you shaking as you orgasm.

He looooooves to play with you and watch you toss and turn and moan. It's so fun for him.

But try the same teasing torture on him and he's a total whimp. He'll be begging for more in no time.

I could totally see them into minor bandages and dom/sub play.

They love spanking.

And leaving secret little love bites all over your body. Especially your inner thighs.

No matter what though, sex has to be intimate. He hates quickies for this reason.

Like yeah it's hot and fun in the moment but after they're done they just wanna hold you close and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

He doesn't really care for nicknames. Like Daddy/Mommy stuff isn't really his deal. Like he'll try anything for your sake but he gets nothing out of it. Master/sir also isn't a thing for them. It just reminds them of when you used to call him that and it's just uncomfy.

He wants you to call him by his name when things get dom/suby.

"Yes Asra." "Please Asra." "Fuck me Asra." He loves to hear his name pour out of your mouth like that. It's like you know exactly whom you belong to- I MEAN COMMITTED TO.

Outdoor sex. All I'm gonna say.

He really likes toys and lingerie. Anything that's a new fun and playful way to play with each other's bodies he's down for.

They have a thing for finishing inside of you. It's an intimacy thing for them.

Not like a, "marking" kind of way or even a "get you pregnant" kind of way. They just find it so much more intimate and pleasing then pulling out and just spraying you.

Unless you ask him to pull out, he will fully sheath inside as deep as possible and hold you tightly when he comes.

He's not loud, but he is a moaner and a talker during sex.

He makes some pretty awesome sounds when he's starting to fall apart too.

You know he's really feeling it and getting close when his eyes roll in the back of his head and his jaw drops.

He's flexible and loves new positions.

Aftercare is always top priority for them. Even if the sex wasn't particularly intense.

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily