#so instead of growing disheartened I shall Post

[finxwrites]

They used to play the game a lot. One of them would say a name, and they wouldn’t ask the question aloud if they were anywhere even slightly public—secrecy was too ingrained in the three of them, and Mike had taken to it quickly enough—but they’d all hear it anyway: if they were a shifter, what animal would they be? They’d toss ideas back and forth, sometimes settling it at once, sometimes arguing for days. It was more fun than it had any right to be, and it hadn't taken Dustin all that long to figure out why: they’d never had anyone to share this with before.

Shifters mostly stuck with their own kind. In a town as small as Hawkins, that meant shifters mostly just had human friends, and politely avoided each other in the grocery store. It was part cultural norm and part instinct—something about being near other shifters made their animal side a little stronger, and animals don’t trust strangers. Especially strangers with sharp teeth. 

Mike had practically had to sit on them to get the three of them to be friends. For the longest time, just being around Lucas had made Dustin want to bolt. Hares and badgers weren’t even natural enemies, but it was enough that they weren’t friends, and that some deep part of Dustin, the part that lived right at the base of his skull, knew that Lucas could maul him with one well-placed strike.

Will hadn’t been so instinctively frightening—no one has anything to fear from a mouse. Where Dustin got jittery around the other two, Will went still and quiet. But Dustin had been as wary of that as he had been of Lucas’s on-edge sharpness. Everyone knew Will’s dad was a rat. Will had taken after his mother, but you never know with mixed shifters, and no one wants to tangle with a cornered rat.

Mike and Will had met on the first day of kindergarten and become instantly inseparable. Lucas had moved into the house next to Mike’s during spring break of first grade, and they’d hit it off almost at once. Mike hadn’t been able to understand why they’d both balked so hard when he tried to get them to play together at recess.

Most people would probably have given up after a few weeks. But Mike was one of the most stubborn people alive when he got an idea in his head. It didn’t get any easier when he and Dustin got close at summer camp, but Mike started second grade with an iron-hard determination that they would all be friends. Whether they liked it or not.

It took a little over a month for him to get all of them in his basement at the same time, very cautiously playing board games. It was another month before the three of them spent more than thirty seconds alone together, and even then it wasn’t voluntarily. Mike’s mom interrupted a game to insist he take a phone call from his grandma right now. Mike went with loud and lengthy protests, but he went, and then Dustin, Lucas, and Will were left staring at each other in suddenly stifling silence.

It was Will who broke it. Will had always been much braver than you’d expect a mouse to be. “If Mike was a shifter,” he said quietly, “what do you think he’d be?”

Lucas barely hesitated a moment. “A donkey.”

Will nodded pensively. Dustin snorted. “Because he’s stubborn as a mule?” he asked, at the same time as Will said, straight-faced, “Because he can be a real ass.”

Dustin and Lucas both lost it. Will grinned, and then joined in the laughter. That was how Mike found them, collapsed on the floor and giggling, drunk on the cut tension.

They weren’t magically friends after that. But for Dustin, at least, that was when it had started to feel possible.

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Please I'm on my hands and knees begging for some kind of angst/comfort or whatever sequel to Solace what do I have to pay to see it at last

You know what, anon? Fuck it—ask and you shall receive. 

DISCOMFIT ━ PART 2 OF SOLACE

» pairing: dabi x fem!reader, previous shigaraki tomura x reader

» cw: noncon, free use (mostly implied/referenced), implied anal, mentions of cheating, little bit of comfort, whole lot of angst. 18+, minors DNI.

» a/n: This picks up exactly where Solace left off, and isn’t exactly canon-compliant because the war arc hadn’t ended when I first posted Solace. It’s also more angsty than smutty, but def still NSFW. As always, reblogs, replies, etc. are welcome <3

» wc: 5.3k

» ao3 mirror

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There's lead in Dabi's stomach as Shigaraki drags you towards the door, and he's already scrambling to tug on his sweats, staggering to his feet as though he could effectively intervene. He'd heard the threats hissed in your ear, the ones scattered among the taunts Dabi had tried so hard to counter with his own exaltations, but he hadn't been prepared for them to be genuine, had thought that in the end Shigaraki would view your shame as his own. That he wouldn't want to make this betrayal public, not really.

Apparently, Dabi was wrong.

When you're hauled across the threshold, he falters. The thought of your imminent defilement is enough to make him feel sick, bile rising at the back of his throat as his gut twists; he doesn't think he could bear to witness such a desecration. But in the end he also doesn't have a choice—Shigaraki pauses in the doorway, his vicious gaze fixing on Dabi as he gives the order. "You're coming too."

Dabi's throat tightens, because he knows there's no use trying to oppose Shigaraki's will, not with his newfound power. And there's no clemency in the man's burning red eyes, no hints that Tomura has doubts about his chosen retribution, nothing at all to give Dabi hope that perhaps the pale-haired man can be dissuaded from this corrective action.

So Dabi swallows back that bitter taste in his mouth, and he follows.

***

Your heart is in your throat as you're dragged into the hall for the second time, only vaguely aware of Dabi trailing behind, failing to interfere though you don't blame him for that, could never condemn him when this is so much more your fault than his. Had you ever really thought you could gladden yourself with Dabi's comfort and then return unscathed to Shigaraki's arms?

You're loud at first, and desperate. You rake at Tomura's forearm as you try to free yourself from his bruising grip, clawing until red droplets are blooming from the scratches on his skin and his flesh collects beneath your nails, but those marks knit themselves back together almost as quickly as you carve them in. Your feet scrabble ineffectually against the carpet too, trying to slow Tomura's movements, but all that accomplishes is friction burns when you stumble, collapsing to your knees even as Shigaraki continues his unyielding march, dragging you along without so much as a backwards glance.

You beg shamelessly again too, pleading with him to stop, to not, to simply let you go. You swear that you'll leave, that he'll never have to see you again, but he ignores those cries just as he does your pathetic attempts to grapple yourself free. It isn't until your implorations grow quieter, more disheartened, that he pauses—you're weeping, not even thinking about what you're saying, rash words falling from your lips. "Tomu, please, I'm sorry, it was a mistake. Please, if you ever cared about me, just let me go."

It's then that he freezes in place, every muscle in his body going rigid, the cords in his neck standing out as he whirls around to face you. His eyes are impossibly wide, his mouth twisted in disgust, and something dark flashes behind his expression, something that, but for a moment, makes him look wounded rather than filled with rage. It's gone almost as soon as it comes, replaced by an expression stonier than any he's fixed you with thus far. He spits his retort through gritted teeth, his tone so tight and glacial that it sends a shiver down your exposed spine.

"Who could ever care about a whore like you?"

***

Dabi can see you struggling, tears streaming down your reddened cheeks as you beg, but he hears none of those supplications, hears nothing but blood rushing in his ears and the wet glug of his throat every time he tries to swallow down the lump that has lodged itself there. Just moving forward consumes all his focus; this sprawling mansion may as well extend for miles for all the effort it takes him to continue putting one foot in front of the other as Shigaraki tows you down the hall.

Your grotesque procession ends in the cavernous ballroom on the ground floor. It's ornate even in its empty glory, sunlight streaming through the tall, arched windows and glinting off the crystal of the chandelier that hangs unlit from the ceiling. Dozens of observers trail behind, every inquiring mind that had peered out to investigate the commotion now obeying Shigaraki's commands for them to follow. They're watching warily, whispering behind their hands as their eyes flick curiously from Dabi, shirtless and shaking, to Shigaraki and you.

Dabi comes back into himself when Shigaraki hurls you unceremoniously to the floor, the sharp crack of your head against the hardwood echoing loudly enough to breach the disassociated haze in which he's been trapped. The sight of your face, dazed by the blow, has him instinctually moving forward, but he's stopped at once when a chiseled arm casts itself across his chest, halting his movements. A low growl issues from the back of Shigaraki's throat. "Don't."

It was easier not to protest Shigaraki's rough treatment of you when the three of you were alone in Dabi's bedroom. He'd been able to convince himself then that Shigaraki had some claim on you, some right to do what he was doing, a sense that had been given all the more weight by your own equivocal response to those harsh touches. But the sight of you now, curled on the floor clutching your head, your legs tucked to your chest as though that could somehow preserve your modesty, is harder to abide. It has heat roiling under Dabi's skin, his insides near-roasting as he does his best to restrain himself, to keep emotions too tumultuous to define from bubbling up and setting him alight.

So Dabi looks away. He does his best to tamp down on that growing heat and to endure, to think about the importance of being there for you. After.

Even after Tomura extends his sadistic invitation to the assembled remnants of the Paranormal Liberation Front, Dabi is naive enough at first to hope that no one will take the bait, that even a crowd of villains won't be depraved enough to indulge in what Shigaraki is offering. Except, Dabi had, hadn't he? Had found his own satisfaction in the first part of Shigaraki's punishment, even as you'd wept. He tries to tell himself that was different—he'd already had you, more than once and voluntarily, and you'd asked for him, implored him so desperately that he couldn't have refused, especially not when it was something Shigaraki had been so intent on enacting.

A darker thought flits across the back of Dabi's mind when he remembers the way you'd writhed under Tomura's domineering touch: if Shigaraki insists on it, will you beg here too?

It's a question that goes unanswered. You spend less than a minute sniffling on the floor surrounded by that mob of villains, and then Dabi's glancing up against his better judgement to see Re-Destro stepping forward, dark eyes glinting with curiosity as he shrugs off his suit jacket and loosens his tie, the balding sycophant unabashedly eager to avail himself of Shigaraki's sloppy seconds.

All your struggling has ceased; you're not trying to leave or asking for help, or mercy. Dabi's not sure if you're still trying to please Shigaraki or are only clinging to some last shred of dignity, if he should be disgusted or proud. Still, you flinch when the redhead crouches to trace one large hand up the outside of your thigh, and that small sign of discomfort is enough to have Dabi moving without thinking, every fiber of his body screaming out to defend you from that unwanted touch. But he only manages one feeble step forward before Shigaraki's hand is curling in his hair, yanking him back so hard that Dabi's scalp throbs. Shigaraki maintains that tight hold, leaving Dabi immobilized and with no choice left but to keep staring forward.

"You're going to watch every second," Shigaraki hisses.

Dabi nods. Grinds his teeth. Watches.

***

He thinks nothing could be worse than the powerlessness he feels as Re-Destro takes you. It's a sense of impotence that settles in his bones, that unearths and amplifies every inadequacy he endured in his youth until his knees are weak and there's blood leaking from the corners of his eyes. Just like back then, he's too weak to do what is needed. He can only watch in dismay as someone slots themselves into a role that should be his.

He's wrong, of course, that nothing could be more horrible than witnessing that first act. It's worse when he starts to notice the familiar tensing in your body, and hears your high-keyed whines reverberating off of walls designed to carry just such a pitch. It's worse when he spies Skeptic with that camera trained on you, documenting your disgrace as he palms himself through his pants, and even worse when Spinner comes forward, casting a long, uncertain glance towards Shigaraki before burying himself in both your holes. It's worse when they stop taking orderly turns coupling with your pliant form and start to share instead, and it's worse still when Dabi realizes that somewhere along the way he's grown shamefully, achingly hard.

But the worst? The absolute worst?

That comes at the end.

You're nothing but a crumpled heap on the floor, one cheek squashed against the stained hardwood, your expression glassy and far away. People have stopped coming forward, all those who wanted a turn having taken one, or more. Their faces are uneasy now that they're spent, murmuring again and shooting furtive looks towards the door, obviously unsure if their continued presence is required but too wary of Shigaraki to ask. So it's Dabi who finally works up the nerve to speak, his voice tight through his clenched jaw.

"You did what you wanted. Now can we go?"

A sense of relief washes over him when Shigaraki releases him, but it's short-lived as the other man fixes that red-eyed stare on Dabi.

"Huh," he muses thickly, his expression unreadable as he cocks his head. "You still want her."

Dabi hesitates. Because he knows Shigaraki doesn't want that to be true, is intent on ripping apart whatever tenuous connection you and Dabi have forged over the past weeks, but Dabi's not sure that such a thing is possible. Right now he can't imagine the future any further than getting you both far, far away from here, but even after watching you submit to Shigaraki so readily, after seeing you clench and moan while being offered up like so much meat, Dabi doesn't think he could ever turn you away, not so long as you want him. So he nods.

Shigaraki's unreadable expression morphs, his lips splitting into a wide, depraved grin. "Fine." There's something in his tone that has Dabi's chest tightening with dread already, a sense that only intensifies when Shigaraki continues. "Finish her off, and you can have her. After all, what the fuck do I care if you want to keep the toy you damaged?"

Dabi swallows hard, looking around again. The crowd is watching intently, exchanging hushed whispers, and he knows they can hear every word, have no doubt anymore about just what has happened here, if they had any doubts before.

"Better get on with it," Tomura jeers, followed by a quiet, callous chuckle. "Take the last turn, and the two of you can go. Or don't, and I'll keep her here for days."

Fuck, Dabi can feel the weight of all those eyes on him, of dozens of gazes flicking between his torn expression and your used up form. He wants to say he can't, that he could never, but it's not the truth. The thought alone might have him fighting back a wave of nausea but that doesn't mean he isn't still erect, tenting his pants in a way that's painfully obvious to himself and to everyone else. Physically, at least, Dabi absolutely could.

He takes a step closer to you. Grimaces. He wants to reach out to you, to give you the reassurance of a soothing touch, but there's nowhere your skin isn't reddened or contused, the evidence of that damage exaggerated by the sheen of sweat and worse coating your skin. Your eyes roll up just enough to meet his hesitant stare, and Dabi gives you what he hopes is an apologetic look.

Dabi does what he has to do.

***

The moment it's over Dabi is scooping you up, hooking his arms around your shoulders and behind your bruised knees and lifting you gingerly from the floor, taking you in his arms as gently as he can manage. Your eyes drift to him again, the corners of your lips twitching and a tiny whimper issuing from the back of your throat, a sound so small and feeble that Dabi has to bite hard at the inside of his cheek to maintain some semblance of composure.

He avoids making eye contact with anyone as he leaves, not even sparing a glance towards Shigaraki to confirm this is really over; if the other man decides to change his mind, Dabi's sure it will be painfully obvious. But no one tries to stop him from taking you—he flees the scene of your discrediting successfully, with his heart pounding and his eyes fixed firmly on the floor ahead of him. Just as when he'd followed Shigaraki's march before, he puts one foot in front of the other and wills himself to think of nothing else.

It's difficult. Your skin is slick against his unclothed chest, and feels feverish. Every time he shifts you, he can feel wetness dribbling down your thighs as he tries to lie to himself it's nothing. Tries not to give it any attention at all.

Dabi's never been very good at deceiving himself, and it's all the harder now with the images of your defilement burned into his retinas—Shigaraki knew just what would make him suffer, Dabi has to admit that much.

When he reaches his room, he sets you gently to the floor, whispers that he'll be right back and then disappears into the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind him. He cranks on the bathtub—it will be necessary to clean you up since he's certain you couldn't stand if you tried. It also serves to drown out the sounds to come, because the moment the water starts pouring he's lunging for the toilet and heaving his guts into the bowl, coughing and sputtering as he retches.

By the time he's finished being sick, the tub is nearly full.

He checks the temperature of the water. Once, twice. Three times. It's hard for him to gauge it adequately when he runs so hot, and the last thing he wants is to scald your abused skin or any of those tender, overworked parts. When he's finally wrangling you into the tub, he dips your hand in first, one final test to ease his anxious mind.

"That feel all right, baby girl?" He's not sure if you really nod, or if you're simply shifting a little, but either way he takes it as a yes.

In the end, it doesn't matter so much. The water turns disgusting almost the moment you're submerged, an oily sheen rising to the surface that Dabi doesn't want to think too hard about it. He drains it and doesn't repeat that mistake, only fills it a few inches full the second time and then scoops water over your irritated skin to rinse away the worst of the mess, a painstakingly slow but necessary measure. He repeats it twice and only after that muck stops rising to the top does he let the water creep higher so that he can wash you properly.

He starts with your hair. It's another slow process, trying to keep from snagging your damp tresses on the staples that line his palms as he massages shampoo into your scalp, and moving carefully to avoid the lump that's formed at the back of your head, where it cracked against the hardwood floor. He does his best not to grimace visibly at that swelling, does the same as he's working sweat and sticky clumps out of your matted locks—your eyes are still bleary but he knows you're watching him, and he couldn't bear for you to see how much it affects him to witness you like this.

Conditioner is probably an unnecessary touch, but he works it in anyway once the last of the suds have been rinsed away, thinks it might help you to feel some sense of normalcy, if that's even still a possibility for you. He lets it soak in while he tends to the rest of your inflamed skin, trying best as he can to be gentle, though that doesn't stop you from wincing every time he brushes over some raw, tender spot. When he finally works the washcloth between your thighs, the last horribly necessary task left, you let out a choked sob, your face contorting in distress in a way that has his throat tightening again.

"Shh, baby girl," Dabi soothes, his voice raw even to his own ears as he lifts a hand to stroke at your hair. "It's okay. I've got you."

You can't help but wonder if that's entirely true as you bite back more complaints and let him tend to your ravaged sex. You can see the tightness in his face, the way he can't seem to look at you for long, and Shigaraki's words keep running through your mind, a grim mantra that sticks in your head even more than the memories of the past few hours.

You'll be ruined for him, just like you're ruined for me.

The thought is enough to have panic brewing in your chest, a near-hysteria clawing its way through you. Because what would you do without Dabi? Who else would ever want you now? It would be too much to lose them both.

You don't realize tears are streaming down your cheeks until hot thumbs are brushing them away, cerulean eyes fixed worriedly on your own. "It's okay," Dabi murmurs again. "You're okay."

But it's not, you're not, probably won't ever be again, and you need more than those thin reassurances. Your arm aches when you lift one hand to catch his wrist, your feeble grip a reminder of just how worn you really are. "Am I—" your voice is hoarse, your words interrupted by a painful cough as you struggle to speak through your wrecked throat "—am I ruined for you?"

The way his face falls at your question is reassurance enough, that tight expression going slack and defeated, the corners of his brows lifting in grief. Then Dabi's pulling you to his chest, water sloshing over the side of the tub and cool porcelain digging into your side as he wraps both arms around you, his face burying itself in your damp strands as he cradles you close.

"No. No, of course not, baby girl. Never."

***

When Dabi finally releases you, he leaves you soaking in the tub long enough to take a shower. He's loath to abandon you for even one second, but he needs that cleansing and, more than that, needs a moment to breath. Because you'd never clung to him so eagerly before, never needed him the same way he needed you, not when you had someone else to hold tightly to.

So just now, when you'd burrowed against his chest and made clear that he was the one you were counting on? Well, he'd be lying if he said it hadn't felt good.

Shigaraki might have succeeded in cracking the pedestal Dabi had placed you on, but all that's truly accomplished is to bring you down to Dabi's level, to a place where he can actually hope to make you his. And Dabi doesn't want to find that thought reassuring, doesn't want to dwell on the realization that this whole fucked up situation might be the only way he'll get the one thing he still wants in life. But he does.

He cranks the heat in the shower as high as it will go as he tries to wash away that guilt, but the scalding water isn't enough. It can't rinse out the shame of finding personal satisfaction in your suffering, just like it can't scour away the memories of obeying Shigaraki's final order, of burying his length in the slick sensation of a dozen other men's seed, of squeezing your thighs together in a desperate bid to create some sort of friction, or of sinking himself into your tighter hole when it seemed like the only way to end that agony.

The list of things that require Dabi's contrition is endless, it seems.

Perhaps it's some kind of fucked up penance, then, that once you're both clean Dabi finds himself offering to go collect your things from the room you'd shared with Shigaraki.

It's an offer born of necessity; you have nothing to wear and while Dabi would love to dress you in his clothes, would relish the sight of you parading around in some oversized shirt that belongs to him, the way you had with Shigaraki's clothes back in the old hideout, he has nothing to offer on that front. An extensive wardrobe isn't among his precious few possessions—the options are his filthy tee shirt and jeans, the ones that reek of booze and ash, or his sweats, amply stained from your walk of shame. None of that seems anywhere near adequate.

So Dabi grits his teeth yet again, tugs on those dirty clothes himself and leaves you tucked safely in his bed, bundled in his only towel. There's an anxious look in your eyes as he departs, one that has a strange thrill coursing through him as he murmurs a promise to return quickly.

He tells himself as he journeys down the hall—pointedly ignoring every person he passes—that Shigaraki won't be there. Dabi's seen the boss angry before, knows he's one to wander and destroy rather than to sulk, and if Dabi were a betting man he would wager that Shigaraki won't be setting foot in the room he'd shared with you any time soon.

Unfortunately, Dabi is wrong once again. There's no answer when he knocks, but when he slips inside it becomes painfully obvious that lack of response wasn't because the quarters were unoccupied. He pauses inside the door, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, and is almost immediately assaulted by the sounds issuing from around the corner, just out of sight: sheets rustling and heavy breathing, the faint slap of skin on skin, a quiet moan.

Fuck. Fuck no. This is the last thing that Dabi wants or needs to witness, even if the stab of incredulity and anger he feels about it is undeserved. It's how he himself would have coped, he knows, had Shigaraki's return to the Liberation Front and your return to him gone according plan, but the thought that he could avail himself of this ever after today's display has Dabi's stomach twisting.

He holds his breath as he immediately retreats, the carpet muffling his slow, quiet steps. Dabi will try something else, ask Toga to loan you some things, or rifle through the remnants of Jin's possessions if he has to. All he has do is get out of here without—

"What do you think you're doing?"

The sound of Shigaraki's low voice has Dabi freezing in place. He sounds different than when they last spoke, some faint trace of amusement there in place of that calculated callousness. Dabi keeps still, tries to convince himself that it's not him Shigaraki is addressing, but that hope proves unfounded.

"I can smell you, you know. You reek of smoke. So why don't you stop hiding and tell me why the fuck you're here?"

Dabi's first instinct is to simply turn and leave, to avoid this unpleasant encounter all together and pray Tomura will simply return his attentions to whoever had the poor judgement to leap into his bed. But in the end he steps forward, not willing to test the other man further than he has with his mere presence, not when there's still a sinister edge to his tone and the damage Dabi's wrought is already likely to haunt him to his dying day.

A light clicks on when Dabi steps into sight, the sudden assault on his pupils making him blink rapidly, and when the room finally swims back into focus, Dabi freezes. Tomura has some woman tucked neatly in his lap, her back nestled to his chest as he peers at Dabi from over her shoulder, the sheets barely covering where Dabi is positive they're joined together.

"I just came to get some of her shit—I didn't think you'd be here," Dabi says flatly, trying to not to let his eyes drift from Tomura's face as deadly hands grope at exposed breasts, dark bite marks and hickeys starkly visible even from the bottom of Dabi's field of vision. "I'll come back later. Or just find her new shit."

"Why bother when you're already here? Just get on with it." Dabi can sense something forced in that casual dismissal of his presence even as Shigaraki lets out a low laugh, and that impression is only strengthened when the woman—some MLA holdover Dabi recognizes but couldn't name—tugs at the edge of the blankets, obviously intent on providing herself with some sort of cover. Shigaraki growls immediately, pale fingers clamping around her wrist so tightly that she whimpers in protest. The first syllable of Tomura's name falls quietly from her lips, a paltry whine that's quashed as soon as it begins, Shigaraki's wide palm slapping harshly over her mouth. His eyes narrow in displeasure as scowling lips ghost over her ear.

"You're the one who wanted to fuck," Dabi hears Shigaraki hiss, "so don't you dare stop."

Dabi might have felt some sympathy for her in another life, some pang of unease at the way her eyes widen and she fidgets nervously before hesitantly rocking her hips, but in this moment he can muster no sympathy, not when her apparently voluntary presence far exceeds even Dabi's expectations for the shamelessness of these meta liberation freaks.

He does, however, feel a twinge of disquiet when he realizes, after a moment of staring, that she looks like you. Not exactly, of course—the nose is wrong, the hairstyle different—but enough. Her hair color, her eyes, her build: they're all reminiscent of your own.

Dabi tries not to think about what that means.

"Well, aren't you going to do what you came for?" Shigaraki taunts. That malicious glint is back in his eyes, the corner of his thin mouth curving up into a smirk that makes it clear he's enjoying Dabi's discomfort at the scene playing out before him. His hands start to wander again as though to emphasize it, pinching and tugging at puffy, exposed nipples while the woman continues to issue muffled mewls from behind his hand. "I'm busy, if you couldn't tell."

Dabi grits his teeth and looks away. "Where is it?"

Shigaraki only shrugs, that sneer widening, and Dabi turns stiffly towards the dresser, doing his best to tune out the soft cries as he rummages through the drawers. After a moment it's clear that nothing within belongs to you, and reluctantly Dabi steps further into the room to search the closet. He finds what he's looking for there, thank god; neatly folded stacks of pants and shirts line the shelves, blouses and those fancy nightgowns you're so fond of arranged neatly on hangars beside them. There's a duffel bag on the floor too, and Dabi quickly busies himself shoving as many of your belongings into it as he can, working with unceremonious haste and chewing at his cheek, still trying to ignore the way the sounds behind him are escalating, the moans and lewd wet smacks growing louder, more rapid.

He only stops when the duffel is overflowing, too stuffed full to even zip shut. It's certainly more than enough for now, but he wonders briefly about the rest of your possessions, if there's some other source of comfort he could and should bring you before Shigaraki decides to dispose of anything you've left behind. But Dabi has no way of knowing, has never been permitted to so much as step foot in this space before.

When the unmistakable sound of a slap emanates from behind him, followed by a throaty groan, Dabi decides it doesn't matter.

It takes him a moment to steel himself, to work up the nerve to turn back towards the room and the vulgar performance occurring mere feet away, but he once he does he strides purposefully towards the door without so much as a glance towards Shigaraki and his new—and very temporary, Dabi suspects—lover. He's almost out the door, seconds from feeling as though he can breath again, when that mocking voice is once again demanding his attention.

"Dabi," Shigaraki calls out liltingly, and Dabi pauses.

"What now?"

His obvious impatience draws a cold chuckle from Tomura. "Don't try to leave. Either of you," Shigaraki says. "The Violet Regiment still needs its lieutenant, and I need you motivated."

For a long moment, Dabi simply stands there, his hand still resting on the knob as he considers those instructions. Shigaraki isn't wrong to think he would consider it; Dabi's mostly accomplished what he hoped to with the League, and his more protective instincts have been screaming at him to get you out of here since the second it was clear Tomura intended to honor his threats. But he'd already had doubts that the jilted man would let that happen, not when the punishment he'd devised is most effective if you're both forced to stay, forced to face everyone who witnessed your downfalls and shared shame.

And also, well...Dabi's more protective instincts might tempt him to flee—he's disappeared before, after all, thinks he could do it again even if it would be harder to evade Shigaraki's reach—but his possessive instincts? Those have more self-serving thoughts brewing in the back of his mind. Because if the castigation you endured is most effective if you stay, it also means that Dabi has no advantage anywhere else. Would you cling to him so sweetly, so fiercely if you weren't surrounded by those who had seen you so thoroughly humbled? Or would such an escape only taint Dabi's presence in your mind, single him out as the last reminder of your humiliation and debasement?

It would, he thinks. So Dabi nods even though Shigaraki can't see him, noting the opportunity present in what was surely intended as a threat. The sadistic leader might be intent on dangling this over both your and Dabi's heads until at least one of you is dead, but Dabi's made the best of bad situations before, ones worse than this.

"Sure thing, boss," he says, working to keep his tone level and mild. He steps out into the hall, lets the door click closed behind him.

For the first time all day, Dabi smiles.

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons 1: Thresh

This is something that I did today. I plan to make this an on-going series (might even take it to YouTube someday if I get the nerve to share my voice), but for now have it as a tumblr post.))

The world of Runeterra is one of the most interesting and complex fantasy settings in modern gaming; a fictional realm bustling with fantastical beings, characters, and a wide variety of plot points offering near endless potential for story-telling. The story of League of Legends is not, in fact, a singular narrative, but rather a collection of different stories spread out across a variety of fictional countries, continents, and even dimensions.

Runeterra as we know it today wasn’t always like this, however; in 2015 Riot Games opted to effectively reboot the lore of their world to be rid of the more restrictive plot elements like Summoners and the Institute of War to allow themselves more wriggle room to tell the stories they wanted to tell. While the decision to effectively make League of Legends non-canon to its own story was initially controversial, the writers of Riot Games have effectively proven themselves extraordinarily capable of using this newfound freedom to its full potential… For the most part.

With a retconned world came the need to retcon characters; Riot has made a substantial effort in the last few years to reimagine and redefine the backstories of the iconic Champions to make them fit into the new narrative, albeit with mixed results. Let’s face it: no writer is perfect and hindsight is 20/20, so a number of characters throughout the years have been left with less-than-stellar backstories compared to most of the roster.

Welcome to Runeterra Retcons, a series in which I’ll be analyzing some of the more controversial champion bios in the game to pick apart the good, the bad, and the horribly missed opportunities. With all that out of the way, let’s begin, shall we?

Episode 1: Thresh

Thresh is at once both an interesting and a bland character. He’s arguably one of the more iconic characters in the game, to the point where he’s practically become the unofficial mascot for the Shadow Isles. In-spite of this, I’ve long felt that Thresh is one of the most awkward fits into the region; before we can discuss the problems with his current lore, however, we first need to address Thresh’s backstory pre-retcon and see if we can analyze the core of his character.

Insert original lore here

So, we can see the concept behind Thresh’s character pretty easily: he’s a jailor who loves tormenting his charges, so much so that he continues to do so even after death. If you were to describe Thresh in a single word, it would probably be “sadistic.” Unfortunately, the original lore doesn’t give a lot beyond that; not where he’s from, not when he died, not even where his prison was located. The bio itself literally says that no one knows the details, and while that does add a faint air of mystery to the character, it doesn’t do much to tie him into the faction he’s supposed to represent: The Shadow Isles.

With that out of the way, let’s now take a look at Thresh’s new bio and see how Riot decided to change him after the retcon.

Insert new lore here

Alright, so, there’s a lot to unpack here. Perhaps the most notable change is that Thresh went from tormenting people to… Tormenting “living relics.” The relics are offered no further explanation in the lore or given any prior context. There’s just… A mirror with a soul in it. There’s a sentient book hidden down in the vaults. For some reason, the monks of the Isles even decided to stash a living person down there because he infused his body with raw magic. Why? Who was this person? What did he do to end up in chains? If this was a dangerous mage, wouldn’t it be better to build a proper prison for him rather than stuff him in a vault full of powerful, dangerous artifacts?

There are so many mysteries here, but perhaps biggest one is this: why was Thresh changed from a warden of people to a warden of relics? Why did they feel the need to turn him from a jailor who enjoyed tormenting his inmates to a curator that was slowly corrupted by the very magics meant to help him do his job? Well, I believe that’s meant to tie into the change made to the Shadow Isles themselves, or rather, the Blessed Isles.

While we never had much info on what the Isles were like before becoming an undead haven, a lot of the lore suggests that they were effectively a paradise, hence the name “Blessed Isles.” This was a place without war, without starvation, without corruption. Naturally, there would be no criminals in paradise, and so this of course means that to make Thresh a warden of things that are inhuman… At least, this is the thought process one might have until they introduce the mysterious regenerating mage, but I guess he’s meant to be one bad egg amidst the crowd, assuming he even came from the Isles at all. Again, it’s never really elaborated on.

So, while the change does make a degree of sense, it kind of feels… Flat. I mean, a guy who enjoys tormenting prisoners in their cells to hear their screams sounds a lot more terrifying than a guy who just stops his sentences halfway through to spite a book. Also, the fact that his lantern just becomes a seemingly endless vessel for souls because of the Ruination is a little silly; like, I know the Black Mist does all sorts of nonsensical things to matter, but the fact that an ordinary lantern gets turned into a relic arguably far more dangerous than anything Thresh was ever guarding seems kind of backwards, at least in my opinion.

So, how can we change this? How would I, personally, retcon Thresh if given the chance? Well, there are a lot of base elements that I would keep, but also some key components I’d like to alter. I’ve written up a short bio of my own for you all to enjoy, so without further ado…

In an age all but forgotten to history, there existed a realm known as the Blessed Isles. Hidden away from the world by a veil of magical mist, the Isles were a place of peace and prosperity; a land free of war, corruption, plague and misery. This paradise was ruled by an order of sacred monks devoted to learning and enlightenment. It was within this paradise that Thresh was born and raised by a pair of humble farmers, growing up surrounded by nature’s bounty.

Though expected that he might follow in his fathers’ footsteps, Thresh showed an aptitude for learning from an early age. In-particular, Thresh seemed fascinated with matters of philosophy; the nature of the soul, morality, and other complex subjects were frequent on the boy’s mind. This attitude quickly earned Thresh the attention of the brotherhood, who invited him to join their order as soon as he was of age. Thresh agreed without hesitation, leaving the farm behind to study at the Isles’ monastery.

For many years, Thresh studied under the tutelage of the order, distinguishing himself from his peers for his ability to grasp complex philosophical issues. Though acknowledged by his teachers, Thresh was met with looks of envy and scorn from his fellow students; rather than let himself be disheartened, however, Thresh instead took an interest in the root of their envy in scorn. Upon approaching his elders with such questions, Thresh found himself being led to a secret chamber deep beneath the monastery, guarded by powerful wards and runes. It was here that Thresh learned the truth of the Blessed Isles.

Thresh watched as one of his fellow pupils stood surrounded by figured in ominous robes, chanting an ominous spell in unison. Thresh’s teacher explained to him that this was ritual had been used by the order for ages to ensure that the Isles flourished. Evil was present in all humans, and so the only way to ensure it did not corrupt their paradise was to extract it from the soul, and seal it away. As the ritual drew to a close, Thresh saw the essence of all the other student’s hatred, envy, malice and warped desire ripped from his body, and placed into a special lantern made to contain it.

Thresh was intrigued. He approached the lantern without hesitation as the other boy was escorted from the chamber, and to his surprise, he heard voice whispering to him from within. The monks explained that though the evils of humanity could be removed, they could not be truly discarded. They needed to be contained, and more than that, they needed a warden to watch over them. Thresh volunteered in a heartbeat, and the monks smiled, pleased by their pupils’ devotion.

What they did not know, however, was that the whispers in Thresh’s mind had already begun taken root. From that day forward, Thresh vigilantly stood guard over the lantern, watching each successive cleansing as it took place. Each time, the wicked essence in the lantern grew stronger, as did the whispers in Thresh’s mind. He began to dream of enacting twisted torments upon the monks, the other disciples, and even his own parents. Slowly but surely, the brotherhood noticed a change in Thresh’s behavior. Fearing that he himself would be subjected to their cleansing rite, Thresh stole the lantern and fled the monastery.

The monks chased Thresh for days, but their search was brought to an abrupt end when strange ships arrived on the Blessed Isles: something Thresh thought impossible. From the safety of the cliffs, Thresh watched in delight as a soldiers led by a foreign king massacred his fellow monks. Their screams were music to the warden’s ears, and as the chaos spread, Thresh found himself reveling in the suffering of all who fell to the foreigners’ blades. Even at the cost of his own life, Thresh dared to move about the battlefield, searching for survivors left in the king’s wake only that he may snuff out the remnants of their lives himself.

Finally, as the screams of his victims began to subside, Thresh turned his attention to the heart of the Isles. From there, he saw a cloud of pure darkness rushing to meet him, and opened his arms wide to embrace it. In that moment, all the wickedness trapped within Thresh’s lantern was freed, bound to his soul through the power of the Ruination. Thresh emerged a being of pure maliciousness, and his lantern, now empty, would serve as the perfect vessel to enact his twisted fantasies.

Thresh now roams Runeterra as an avatar of sadism, bringing pain and misery to all unfortunate enough to cross his path. He stalks his victims and torments them by slowly stripping them of their sanity, before finally prying their souls from their bodies with his wicked sickle. If you hear the sound of chains in the dead of night, run… Though it may already be far too late.

So, what did you think? Now, it’s at this point I feel I need to clarify something: I’m not trying to bash on Riot’s creative team, nor am I saying that I can definitely make a better version of someone else’s character. Hell, I’m not even really saying that my version of the story is flawless; it would probably need to go through several more rewrites before I’d ever consider publishing it as canon, not that I have the power to do so, of course.

Rather, I wanted to take a closer look at Thresh’s character and how well his current lore represents him. I said earlier that Thresh is at once and interesting and a bland character. I consider him a little bland because you can sum him up in a single word: “sadistic.” He has no goals and no motivation other than to cause pain and suffering. Even the other undead of the Shadow Isles typically have some kind of agenda, even if it’s only to spread the Black Mist’s influence. Thresh doesn’t care about that; he just wants to see you writhe in agony, both before and after death. I’d argue he has more in common in with League’s demons than the other specters of the Isles, but it’s BECAUSE Thresh is undead that he has so much potential for an interesting backstory.

The main points I wanted to emphasize in my rewrite are: expanding on the magics that corrupted Thresh into being so sadistic, giving his lantern some greater significance in the story, and replacing the vault full of otherwise pointless macguffins with something a little more sinister that gives the Blessed Isles a hint of dichotomy. Riot loves adding a little morally grey to all their characters and factions, after-all.

Anyways, what do you all think? Could Thresh’s lore be improved, or do you all like his story the way in currently is? Lemme know down below, and I’ll see you all next time!

[prettywordsyouleft]

Mistletoe Manor - Part 5

Summary: Christmas is the most important time of year for all those who live within Mistletoe Manor. From the staff to the Hawthorne family themselves, everyone works hard to ensure that the festive season is a success every year! We invite you to see if everyone can pull off another  magical Christmas at the manor this year.

Pairing: Park Seo Joon, Bang Yongguk, Brian Kang, Jung Daehyun, Jung Jaehyun, Lee Taeyong and OCs.

Genre: regency au / romance / christmas au

A/N: Becky ( @noona-clock​ ) and I wanted to create a magical Christmas for everyone and what  better way to do that than at Mistletoe Manor! Because of the nature of having several idols, we chose to work with OCs and we hope you love them as much as we do.

Mistletoe Manor will be posted daily at 10am NZST / 4pm EST daily.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

For such an ordeal that it had been to get to this night, the opening of the Winter Festival had gone off without a single issue. And as Cassie walked around with Evie and Joey, she couldn’t stop smiling.

Everyone looked so happy.

This was what Christmas was all about for the Hawthorne’s. All the long hours had paid off to see those who made this area of land prosperous laughing and enjoying themselves. From ice-skating to hot cocoa and sitting on Santa’s knee, the market had something for everyone. It renewed hope that whatever hardships people faced could be overcome with the magic this season possessed.

Cassie was hopeful that even if she had to spend this Christmas without Daehyun, she would continue to smile just like this.

“Is that Anna and Taeyong holding hands over there?” Evie questioned and Cassie grinned as Joey clapped her own hands together.

“It’s truly about time they realised there was more to their arguing.”

“Do you think they won’t bicker so much anymore then?” Cassie wondered and the sisters watched on as Taeyong attempted to show Anna how to skate. She was soon frustrated and pushed him away. They couldn’t help but chuckle, some things never changed.

Cassie then spotted Jaehyun and Grace trying out handmade treats together and not far behind them was Lydia and Seo Joon. Her smile grew as their hands inched closer to one another inconspicuously. She hoped that in the New Year these couples – or those not yet together – would be proudly showing off their affections for one another.

“Do you think there is any hope for me to find love this Christmas?” Evie suddenly asked, and each sister on her side turned to look at her curiously. Evie blushed. “Just a thought!”

“I hope you both get what you want this Christmas,” Cassie encouraged and Joey let out a snort.

“It would take a special type of man to match me. I don’t have a desirable disposition.”

“Nonsense, someone will rise to the challenge!”

“Or die trying,” Evie added on, laughing with her older sister as Joey pouted.

“I pray Daehyun is back in time too,” Joey mentioned a moment later, eyeing Cassie cautiously.

Cassie waved her hands around herself. “I’m fine; please do not look at me waiting to see if I will cry again. I am done crying over it. I am his wife and he has to come back at some point.”

“Yes, but you love Christmas.”

“And he loves you.”

“How do you know that he does?” she questioned the pair and Evie shrugged whilst Joey inspected her nails. “Say, even if he loves me most ardently, it doesn’t mean he will magically appear for Christmas. He is serving our King and that has to come first.”

“Well, he has twenty-nine days to make it back in time and finally put you first. Anything could happen between now and then.”

December began and the manor was livelier than ever. Grace’s parents had arrived, much had other relatives. Cassie spent her days trying to get her own pursuits fulfilled or spent time with her sisters and Grace, before taking part in fancy dinners and get-togethers in the evening. There was an element to every Christmas she always seemed to forget until the jolly season was upon them.

It was utterly exhausting.

Still, on the fifth day of December, she rose to the sound of hooves upon the driveway. With the five inches of snow already settled upon the ground outside, using cars had been suspended until the roads were clear. And knowing all the expected guests, bar Daehyun and his company, were already lodged here at the manor, she sprung from her bed, dashing over to shift the drapes aside anxiously.

Her hopes were dashed when it was just the Vicar from the village stopping by to meet with her father.

Climbing back into her bed, Cassie thumped at the bedding in a very unladylike manner. A brief giggle from the doorway alerted her that this moment had not gone unwitnessed. Lydia grinned as she made her way to the bed. “My Lady, are we feeling alright?”

“Quite.”

“Well then, shall we prepare for your day? I am afraid it is another one that will keep you busy.”

“I shall rest for a month after December leaves us,” Cassie offered dramatically, heaving herself up and preparing for the day ahead.

She spent time reading with Evie and Grace in the library, sewing with her Mother and Joey in the parlour and played a game of cards with Lydia and Seo Joon when she was meant to be upstairs attending another dreadfully boring family meeting.

Seo Joon shot her a look. “This headache you claim to have is not preventing you from winning yet again, My Lady.”

“Perhaps it improves my skills greatly.”

“Actually Seo Joon, you’re just not the best at card games.”

“What?” the man questioned Lydia’s admission, his mouth falling apart incredulously. “Must I show you of my worth?”

“Will you be able to beat Cassie at all today?” Lydia wondered with an airy laugh.

“Just you wait; I will ensure you never utter such words about me again!”

“But not right now, I’m afraid.” Glancing up at Taeyong’s stricken expression, he came over to Cassie’s side. “Your mother just came to check on you and found you were not in your bed resting as you proclaimed. I told her that I saw you walking down to the conservatory, and so-”

“Of course, I must go.” Standing up, Cassie then smiled at her friends. “I task Lydia with the opportunity to challenge you instead, Seo Joon.”

“I accept!” Seo Joon replied heartedly, sweeping the cards up as his mood increased.

Whilst Cassie’s decreased. Thanking Taeyong for his help, she slipped into the main room, weakly taking hold of Grace’s hand. “Did I miss anything?”

“Nothing of importance. Aunt Jane has been projecting something of a song for about twenty minutes now.”

“That long?!” Cassie whispered, aghast. “Last year someone stopped her after ten.”

“It appears she is quite the force this year, sister,” Evie lamented and the girls all sighed in unison.

After another hour of family time, Cassie was released to freshen up for dinner, frowning when she heard a carriage out on the driveway again. She chastised her need to check out the window and yet she made her way there, realising guests from within town would be arriving for dinner.

She told herself to stop hoping her Christmas miracle would come true tonight.

Cassie focused on smiling more. She didn’t wish for the questions to come from nosy relatives of why she felt particularly disheartened today and so she put on a brave face and actively threw herself into conversation with her cousin Severus about his recent purchase of some run-down estate up north. She nodded when she needed to and she laughed at the right times, Severus none the wiser that Cassie was completely bored.

And thankfully, Grace came to her aid, rescuing her with an excuse to need to stretch her legs with a companion.

“You miss him tonight, don’t you?”

“How do you miss someone you barely spent time with?” Cassie wondered, still nodding in answer. “It is odd, today I felt as if he would arrive.”

“Maybe he will, there is still time, the night is young,” her cousin encouraged and Cassie smiled at Grace.

“Where will I be in this world if I did not have you to make me hopeful?”

“Perhaps in the arms of a man who has waited almost a year to take you back within them?”

Turning hastily, Cassie gasped, her knees growing weak at the person before her. He caught her just in time and smiled broadly. “Why, you even fall at my feet! I did not expect that until some time into our relationship, Cassandra.”

“Daehyun.”

“Oh you have other companions with you,” Grace announced, moving away from the pair staring at one another longingly. “Earl Yongguk is it? And who might you be? Come with me, surely you must be famished from your travels.”

Cassie slowly smiled, lifting a hand up to his face. Daehyun grinned when she became delighted, laughing with her. “I am here.”

“I half expect this to be a dream, I’ll have you know.”

“Shall I go back out the door and then come in again?” he suggested and she shook her head, gripping him tighter.

“I fear if you go out again, I will have to wait another year to see you.”

“So you did miss me!” Her cheeks coloured and Daehyun caressed them tenderly. “So beautiful.”

“What is?”

“You.”

“I was concerned that your words would just be that, words,” she admitted, taking his hand and leading him over to the library, shutting the door behind them. Once seated on a chaise, she soaked him in quietly. “It feels those words make this moment easier for us both.”

“I did worry you would be less inclined to take my hand once I was back,” Daehyun told her and she instantly took it in hers, making him laugh, his smile brighter than any she had ever seen. “It appears my wife is just as enchanted as I.”

“We do have a lot to learn about each other,” Cassie pointed out and Daehyun nodded. “However, I am all too pleased to see you.”

“Not as much as I am.”

“You made it back in time for Christmas,” she murmured, taking his cheek in her hand again. It amazed her by how natural this felt to do. And she giggled when he nuzzled into her hand affectionately. “Thank you.”

“You waited so long for me; I was not prepared to miss spending this time of year with you.”

“Just like last year?” Daehyun chuckled, taking her hand from his cheek and burying it into his chest. “Last year, we barely spoke to one another. Did you not wish to marry me?”

“No, I did not,” she answered and his hand faltered on hers. Cassie then smiled. “But I am relieved I did.”

“I wanted to marry you as soon as I saw you,” Daehyun expressed, surprising his wife. “You were exactly who I dreamed of marrying. Someone who had a mind of her own, who was intelligent and caring. You were so selfless whenever I watched over you. I wanted to offer you the world.”

“I never knew you felt this way.”

Daehyun nodded. “Because you would barely stop to have time for me. I did not wish to intrude.”

“I thought you were standoffish because of the arrangement.”

“I was enamoured by your beauty.”

Cassie attempted to settle her emotions, her lip wobbling as she asked, “And now?”

“Now I want to kiss my wife that I have missed since the day I left her behind. May I?”

“Will you ask every time?” she wondered, her mouth now hovering around his.

“I hope in time, I can just kiss you without my heart thudding and giving me away like this.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t be, I already gave you my heart,” she told him as she pressed her lips to his, her mind and soul soaring. This is what she had always dreamed of. The prince of her fairytales was right before her, holding onto her as he kissed her passionately, months lost between them to establish such a physical love.

And yet, had it not been for their separation, for all the letters, Cassie was unsure if she would have reached such an easy conclusion that she loved Daehyun as much as she already did. She was grateful for the lessons she learned, and the time to grow and fall in love with the man she had married at the start of the year. She was also excited for where their future would carry them, and what her life could amount to. Until then, it was Christmas time and she had received her present early. Cassie was certain this year the festive season would be her favourite so far.

“I am sorry I was late, I wanted to be here for your festival,” Daehyun murmured when he pulled back and Cassie shook her head, dismissing his claim with a smile.

“You were right on time, my love.”

_________________

Part 6

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Tears ran down his cheeks

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[virginieboesus]

What You Need To Know If You Want To Start A Gaming Blog

Blogging, as we all know, has taken the world by absolute storm! And that includes gaming blogs. There are tonnes of us out there, but don’t listen to that voice of nagging doubt. Just because there are already a lot of video game blogs out there, that doesn’t mean you should start one. You’ll have your own opinions and your own personality, and that’s what really matters. That’s the first thing that you need to know if you want to start a gaming blog!

Of course, that isn’t all you need to know, so today I wanted to give you some advice on how to get started! Let’s take a look, shall we?

Getting Started With A Gaming Blog

We will start at the beginning, shall we? That seems like the best place to me… So, to get started with a gaming blog, you’ll need to sort out a blog, funnily enough. To do that, you’ll need three things;

A domain name – this will be your website’s address

A blogging system – the platform you’ll use to run your blog

Web hosting – this is a service that holds the files and date for your site on the internet

This can sound quite confusing and daunting, but it really isn’t. You can use WordPress.com to get free hosting, but I really wouldn’t recommend it (not if you want to grow and be successful in the long run). Instead, going to hosting companies like One.com or GoDaddy, you can get your domain name and hosting at the same time, and actually own your website. Prices for this can range from £10 per year to £30 per year, so you’ll be able to find a hosting service that is within your budget.

It really is better to just pay for hosting and run your blog that way. You get ownership of your blog, which you don’t on free hosting, and you get full access to the blogging system of your choice.

Speaking of blogging systems, I would recommend WordPress over the others. It is easy to get your head around and offers a huge amount of customisation options. That means that you can make your gaming blog reflect your own personal style. A lot of hosting services actually have a built-in, one-click install for WordPress that can get your blogging system up and running within a matter of minutes!

Creating Content For A Gaming Blog

Once you’ve gotten your blog up and running, and styled the way you want it, you’ll need to start writing content for it. Knowing where to start with content for a gaming blog can be a little difficult, so here are a few tips to help you get the ball rolling;

Top 5 lists of your favourite or least favourite games

Feature posts about hidden gems of specific genres or consoles

Reasons why you started gaming

Your favourite gaming memories

On top of this, a staple of gaming blogs would be reviewing games. These make up the majority of posts on here, as well as many of the other, big-name gaming blogs. But that doesn’t mean you need to start going out and buying the latest games straight away.

If you’re starting a gaming blog, then chances are, you are a gamer. That also means it is highly likely that you already own a number of games. You should start with those. It’s what I did.

By starting with the games that you already own, you can build up the number of reviews you have on your blog relatively easily, without the cost of buying new ones. It also gives you the chance to practice your review writing before you expand to new games or contacting game developers. You can improve and solidify your writing style so that, when you do get newer games, you can write top quality reviews of them that people will enjoy reading.

Growing Your Blog

This is the bit that takes the longest, and honestly, should probably get its own tips post… But for now, we’re going to cover the basics to help you get going. The first thing you need to understand is that you won’t get big and famous overnight. In fact, it probably won’t happen in the first couple of years! By understanding that, you put yourself in a much better position to continue on with a gaming blog, even when it doesn’t seem to be picking up.

For the first year of writing 16-Bit Dad, I was getting around 10 to 20 views per day. That was really disheartening, but at the same time, I really enjoyed writing about games. So I pushed through the disappointment and focused on the enjoyment that I got from running a gaming blog. After about a year, I suddenly started getting around 100 – 150 views per day, and it has been steadily climbing ever since. That was a huge jump that, honestly, just took time to happen. Well, that and doing these other tips;

Get involved with the community – no matter what type of gaming blog you are running, there will be a community around that game, genre or era of gaming.

Get yourself on Twitter, but for your blog – Facebook and Instagram can be good, but the gaming community is huge on Twitter, so start a Twitter account for your gaming blog and join in with the chat on there!

Find relevant Facebook Groups – the only success I have found from Facebook came from Facebook Groups. I have a Facebook page which drives 1 or 2 views per day, but Facebook Groups tend to drive 20 – 50 per day, with one day even reaching 1,400! Just don’t spam the groups and make sure you follow the rules.

Collaborate with other gaming bloggers – once you’ve been part of the community for a while, you’ll likely have gotten to know other gaming bloggers. Ask them if they want a guest post from you on their blog; this will give them free content and put you in front of their audience.

If you do these, over time, whilst also sharing each of your blog posts on your Twitter, you’ll start to see some real growth over time. Also, once you’ve made friends with some of the gaming community on Twitter, you can share your blog posts by using the featured image in the tweet, tagging those friends. I’ve found this gets a huge amount of traction and often leads to new people finding you as well!

And That’s All Folks

That’ll be it for the tips and tricks that you need to know if you want to start a gaming blog. Although, there is one more, very important tip I can give you; don’t give up. Getting a gaming blog started is a slow process that can feel disheartening and painful at the beginning, but it is most definitely worth it in the long run.

If you found this post useful, let me know in the comments below and I might do some more gaming blog tips posts in the future!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/what-you-need-to-know-if-you-want-to-start-a-gaming-blog/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-you-need-to-know-if-you-want-to-start-a-gaming-blog source https://smartstartblogging.tumblr.com/post/177009619240

[smartstartblogging]

What You Need To Know If You Want To Start A Gaming Blog

Blogging, as we all know, has taken the world by absolute storm! And that includes gaming blogs. There are tonnes of us out there, but don’t listen to that voice of nagging doubt. Just because there are already a lot of video game blogs out there, that doesn’t mean you should start one. You’ll have your own opinions and your own personality, and that’s what really matters. That’s the first thing that you need to know if you want to start a gaming blog!

Of course, that isn’t all you need to know, so today I wanted to give you some advice on how to get started! Let’s take a look, shall we?

Getting Started With A Gaming Blog

We will start at the beginning, shall we? That seems like the best place to me… So, to get started with a gaming blog, you’ll need to sort out a blog, funnily enough. To do that, you’ll need three things;

A domain name – this will be your website’s address

A blogging system – the platform you’ll use to run your blog

Web hosting – this is a service that holds the files and date for your site on the internet

This can sound quite confusing and daunting, but it really isn’t. You can use WordPress.com to get free hosting, but I really wouldn’t recommend it (not if you want to grow and be successful in the long run). Instead, going to hosting companies like One.com or GoDaddy, you can get your domain name and hosting at the same time, and actually own your website. Prices for this can range from £10 per year to £30 per year, so you’ll be able to find a hosting service that is within your budget.

It really is better to just pay for hosting and run your blog that way. You get ownership of your blog, which you don’t on free hosting, and you get full access to the blogging system of your choice.

Speaking of blogging systems, I would recommend WordPress over the others. It is easy to get your head around and offers a huge amount of customisation options. That means that you can make your gaming blog reflect your own personal style. A lot of hosting services actually have a built-in, one-click install for WordPress that can get your blogging system up and running within a matter of minutes!

Creating Content For A Gaming Blog

Once you’ve gotten your blog up and running, and styled the way you want it, you’ll need to start writing content for it. Knowing where to start with content for a gaming blog can be a little difficult, so here are a few tips to help you get the ball rolling;

Top 5 lists of your favourite or least favourite games

Feature posts about hidden gems of specific genres or consoles

Reasons why you started gaming

Your favourite gaming memories

On top of this, a staple of gaming blogs would be reviewing games. These make up the majority of posts on here, as well as many of the other, big-name gaming blogs. But that doesn’t mean you need to start going out and buying the latest games straight away.

If you’re starting a gaming blog, then chances are, you are a gamer. That also means it is highly likely that you already own a number of games. You should start with those. It’s what I did.

By starting with the games that you already own, you can build up the number of reviews you have on your blog relatively easily, without the cost of buying new ones. It also gives you the chance to practice your review writing before you expand to new games or contacting game developers. You can improve and solidify your writing style so that, when you do get newer games, you can write top quality reviews of them that people will enjoy reading.

Growing Your Blog

This is the bit that takes the longest, and honestly, should probably get its own tips post… But for now, we’re going to cover the basics to help you get going. The first thing you need to understand is that you won’t get big and famous overnight. In fact, it probably won’t happen in the first couple of years! By understanding that, you put yourself in a much better position to continue on with a gaming blog, even when it doesn’t seem to be picking up.

For the first year of writing 16-Bit Dad, I was getting around 10 to 20 views per day. That was really disheartening, but at the same time, I really enjoyed writing about games. So I pushed through the disappointment and focused on the enjoyment that I got from running a gaming blog. After about a year, I suddenly started getting around 100 – 150 views per day, and it has been steadily climbing ever since. That was a huge jump that, honestly, just took time to happen. Well, that and doing these other tips;

Get involved with the community – no matter what type of gaming blog you are running, there will be a community around that game, genre or era of gaming.

Get yourself on Twitter, but for your blog – Facebook and Instagram can be good, but the gaming community is huge on Twitter, so start a Twitter account for your gaming blog and join in with the chat on there!

Find relevant Facebook Groups – the only success I have found from Facebook came from Facebook Groups. I have a Facebook page which drives 1 or 2 views per day, but Facebook Groups tend to drive 20 – 50 per day, with one day even reaching 1,400! Just don’t spam the groups and make sure you follow the rules.

Collaborate with other gaming bloggers – once you’ve been part of the community for a while, you’ll likely have gotten to know other gaming bloggers. Ask them if they want a guest post from you on their blog; this will give them free content and put you in front of their audience.

If you do these, over time, whilst also sharing each of your blog posts on your Twitter, you’ll start to see some real growth over time. Also, once you’ve made friends with some of the gaming community on Twitter, you can share your blog posts by using the featured image in the tweet, tagging those friends. I’ve found this gets a huge amount of traction and often leads to new people finding you as well!

And That’s All Folks

That’ll be it for the tips and tricks that you need to know if you want to start a gaming blog. Although, there is one more, very important tip I can give you; don’t give up. Getting a gaming blog started is a slow process that can feel disheartening and painful at the beginning, but it is most definitely worth it in the long run.

If you found this post useful, let me know in the comments below and I might do some more gaming blog tips posts in the future!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/what-you-need-to-know-if-you-want-to-start-a-gaming-blog/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-you-need-to-know-if-you-want-to-start-a-gaming-blog

[beingmad2017-blog]

Finances And Money Can Make or Break a Marriage

New Post has been published on https://beingmad.org/finances-can-make-or-break-a-marriage/

Finances And Money Can Make or Break a Marriage

Most first marriage starts with high hopes and dreams that the uninitiated lovers share in the boundless enthusiasm. Such optimism often includes an assumed trust and faith in one another. At the beginning of a new life together it can be easier to share assets and debts equally. As the marriage progresses and years are added to the relationship there are many factors that contribute to a decline in enthusiasm for sharing the money equally such as egos, selfishness, varied ideas about necessities versus wants, etc. Adversity sets in, as it does for all of us. Perhaps there are problems holding a job, or health issues arise, or maybe accidents occur or maybe it is as simple as mistakes which are made while balancing the checkbook. As troubles tax, a couple’s finances resentment might build as one or both partners look back and wonder if they could have been more prosperous by staying single. If finances are kept separate the chances of working through such adversity together are lessened. Isolated into what’s yours is yours and whats mine is mine people feel alone and disheartened even though they share life with another person through marriage. On the other hand, if finances are shared both partners are equally responsible for the successful financial outcome of the union. By jointly holding the money each spouse seeks the inputs and wisdom of the other to manage the accounts for maximum profit. What challenges one faces both faces together. What success one achieves both enjoy together.

“When you get married you become one.” “Money is a key area that helps bring unity.” David Ramsey, Financial Expert. “… spouses should combine all finances and work together towards common agreed upon goals… Separate money equals greed. The bottom line is this: couples that plan their lives and finances together are much more successful financially and with their relationships.” –Marriage and Money – Dave Ramsey vs. Suze Orman, March 20, 2012

The old saying goes ‘There is no I in a team’. Is marriage a contract between me and me, I and I, or is marriage about us, our, us? Going into life together can be tremendously beneficial to both partners. When two become one in all things each becomes more than they are by themselves. Math changes from 1+1=2 to 2 together = anything is possible. Many families have a tradition of saving their nickels and dimes to use to go on vacation. It strikes one as ridiculous to consider each family member saving to go on vacation separately. Mom saves to go see Grandma and Dad save to go camping and Marsha saves for Disneyland while little Johnny saves to go to the ice cream parlor down the street. Agreeing upon a mutual activity takes negotiation and more effort than going on separate vacations, but it also builds shared memories that are held precious later.

This is not to say that one partner should demure in passiveness and yield to their spouse all financial opinions and decisions. Often there are stark differences in the perspective each companion users to view resource usage and risk management with. One spouse may be analytical in nature and the other might make their decisions from more of an emotional base. Such dissimilar viewpoints can make it challenging to reach an equilibrium both are comfortable with. It may seem easier just to separate finances. However, such a decision can result in grave consequences. “Divorce attorneys have told me that when money is the issue that brings a couple into see them, as it often is, the specific issue is usually that the husband and wife were living separate financial lives. Want to mess up your marriage? Live separate financial lives.” How to Mess Up Your Marriage, Monday, December 12th, 2011, Matt Bell, author of Money and Marriage.

Is there more to a union of two souls than that of corporate mergers? Ironically, finances are often merged in shared business arrangements yet there are some who recommend the opposite approach for couples as if married companions are “… Independent Operators, my term for pairs who keep their accounts entirely separate.” Jessica Crouse.

Healthy marriages are built upon compromise, respect for each other, and the willingness to entertain the thought that together you are smarter than you are separate. Nature witnesses to the efficacy of sharing the resources- even birds and animals bring home the bacon to be shared with the whole pride. Think about the survival rate of any animal species that behaved as if each was responsible separately for their maintenance and subsistence. “Life is not 50:50, nor should it be��� when did this degrade from a marriage to a micromanaged contractual partnership?… I see a continuum from the first bit of separate money in a marriage to basically living as roommates.” Evolving Personal Finance: The Slippery Slope of Separate Money.

Sometimes we might find ourselves wondering why some people make the financial decisions they do. During the recent housing crisis, many opinions were expressed via twitter, internet forums, and even talk shows about where the responsibility rested for so many foreclosures. Terms like ‘predatory lenders’ and ‘irresponsible borrowers’ were bandied about. It is natural to become coach quarterbacks and passenger seat drivers when viewing problems others encounter, especially when we had no contribution to such problems. How easy it becomes to do the same with a spouse when married partners hold the finances separately. Harboring criticism instead of openly communicating about financial troubles does little to foster unity in marriage.

“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Today it seems as if half of society would amend these Biblical verses to ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, except financially; and they shall become one flesh’ and ‘So they are no longer two, except the bank accounts, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate, except the money’.

In this world of hyper-competition stress rules. If children are part of a marriage the love and joy that come to parents can also be accompanied by even more stress as the demands on available resources grow. If outside influences threaten the financial stability of the family stress levels rises even higher. Money is one of the major contributors to divorce, and it’s easy to see why. Many people are constantly worried about taking care of their families, and as they grow older taking care of themselves through retirement. Such worry can breed fear. Fear can eat at the faith and trust in one another that was assumed at the start of the life together. As faith and trust erode the bonds of matrimony can begin to resemble chains tied to a sinking vessel where it becomes ‘every man for himself’. However, if couples are committed to each other ‘for richer, for poorer’ they can lean on each other for the strength necessary to endure and overcome the challenges of life in these modern times. Years of struggle and effort together can help forge a tie that can defy financial obstacles in favor of the security such strong bonds ensure. Such security might not be financially based, but instead, it might find a strong foundation in emotion. This means that sometimes spouses have to choose what is most important to them- money or love.

While comparing the pros and cons of united versus separate finances in marriage a clear conclusion emerges that supports the unified approach. Consider the following from Engaged Marriage: “Reasons Why a Joint Bank Account is Best: Encourages regular communication about finances. Built-in accountability partner on spending matters. Fosters unity in money matters. Strong sense of working together to meet financial goals. Clear that all household income is treated as “our��� money. No conflict or administrative work in ‘splitting up the bills’… The use of a single joint account also encourages (requires, really) open communication about your finances, which is absolutely critical to a successful marriage.” –Should Married Couples Have Joint or Separate Bank Accounts? By Dustin of Engaged Marriage.

A proponent of separate marital finances might argue that many of the benefits outlined herein can still be enjoyed even if spouses are not one with money. Without performing the work necessary for financial harmony it is like trying to describe the taste of salt to someone who has never experienced it before. There is just no substitute for experiencing the rewards other than doing the work it takes for two people to harmoniously live together financially. Communication can become improved as each works to understand the others’ point of view. Sacrifice can enhance mutual appreciation as companions work to compromise with each other. Trust grows as each spouse strives to achieve mutual goals set together. Sharing money in marriage is an opportunity, not a burden.

In summation, money can make or break a marriage. Just like most issues in life we can use it to achieve positive results or let it use us in which case negative results often occur. The easy road might seem to be the separation of the marriage finances. However, putting aside the possible negative consequences a couple thus engaged will miss out on the opportunities to build an even stronger relationship with their spouse through working together in good faith and trust in one another. It does require work and sometimes it is hard. A couple will not realize the rewards of such hard work by avoiding the same through keeping their finances separate. That trust and faith in each other that was assumed at the start of their life together can, through such hard work, grow into absolute confidence as the years accumulate.

[myupdatesystems-blog]

Finances Can Make or Break a Marriage

New Post has been published on https://myupdatesystems.com/2017/04/10/finances-can-make-or-break-a-marriage/

Finances Can Make or Break a Marriage

Most first marriages start with high hopes and dreams that the uninitiated lovers share in the boundless enthusiasm. Such optimism often includes an assumed trust and faith in one another. At the beginning of a new life together it can be easier to share assets and debts equally. As the marriage progresses and years are added to the relationship there are many factors that contribute to a decline in enthusiasm for sharing the money equally such as egos, selfishness, varied ideas about necessities versus wants, etc. Adversity sets in, as it does for all of us. Perhaps there are problems holding a job, or health issues arise, or maybe accidents occur or maybe it is as simple as mistakes which are made while balancing the checkbook. As troubles tax, a couple’s finances resentment might build as one or both partners look back and wonder if they could have been more prosperous by staying single. If finances are kept separate the chances of working through such adversity together are lessened. Isolated into what’s yours is yours and whats mine is mine people feel alone and disheartened even though they share life with another person through marriage. On the other hand, if finances are shared both partners are equally responsible for the successful financial outcome of the union. By jointly holding the money each spouse seeks the inputs and wisdom of the other to manage the accounts for maximum profit. What challenges one faces both faces together. What success one achieves both enjoy together.

“When you get married you become one.” “Money is a key area that helps bring unity.” David Ramsey, Financial Expert. “… spouses should combine all finances and work together towards common agreed upon goals… Separate money equals greed. The bottom line is this: couples that plan their lives and finances together are much more successful financially and with their relationships.” –Marriage and Money – Dave Ramsey vs. Suze Orman, March 20, 2012

The old saying goes ‘There is no I in a team’. Is marriage a contract between me and me, I and I, or is marriage about us, our, us? Going into life together can be tremendously beneficial to both partners. When two become one in all things each becomes more than they are by themselves. Math changes from 1+1=2 to 2 together = anything is possible. Many families have a tradition of saving their nickels and dimes to use to go on vacation. It strikes one as ridiculous to consider each family member saving to go on vacation separately. Mom saves to go see Grandma and Dad save to go camping and Marsha saves for Disneyland while little Johnny saves to go to the ice cream parlor down the street. Agreeing upon a mutual activity takes negotiation and more effort than going on separate vacations, but it also builds shared memories that are held precious later.

This is not to say that one partner should demure in passiveness and yield to their spouse all financial opinions and decisions. Often there are stark differences in the perspective each companion users to view resource usage and risk management with. One spouse may be analytical in nature and the other might make their decisions from more of an emotional base. Such dissimilar viewpoints can make it challenging to reach an equilibrium both are comfortable with. It may seem easier just to separate finances. However, such a decision can result in grave consequences. “Divorce attorneys have told me that when money is the issue that brings a couple into see them, as it often is, the specific issue is usually that the husband and wife were living separate financial lives. Want to mess up your marriage? Live separate financial lives.” How to Mess Up Your Marriage, Monday, December 12th, 2011, Matt Bell, author of Money and Marriage.

Is there more to a union of two souls than that of corporate mergers? Ironically, finances are often merged in shared business arrangements yet there are some who recommend the opposite approach for couples as if married companions are “… Independent Operators, my term for pairs who keep their accounts entirely separate.” Jessica Crouse.

Healthy marriages are built upon compromise, respect for each other, and the willingness to entertain the thought that together you are smarter than you are separate. Nature witnesses to the efficacy of sharing the resources- even birds and animals bring home the bacon to be shared with the whole pride. Think about the survival rate of any animal species that behaved as if each was responsible separately for their maintenance and subsistence. “Life is not 50:50, nor should it be… when did this degrade from a marriage to a micromanaged contractual partnership?… I see a continuum from the first bit of separate money in a marriage to basically living as roommates.” Evolving Personal Finance: The Slippery Slope of Separate Money.

Sometimes we might find ourselves wondering why some people make the financial decisions they do. During the recent housing crisis, many opinions were expressed via twitter, internet forums, and even talk shows about where the responsibility rested for so many foreclosures. Terms like ‘predatory lenders’ and ‘irresponsible borrowers’ were bandied about. It is natural to become coach quarterbacks and passenger seat drivers when viewing problems others encounter, especially when we had no contribution to such problems. How easy it becomes to do the same with a spouse when married partners hold the finances separately. Harboring criticism instead of openly communicating about financial troubles does little to foster unity in marriage.

“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Today it seems as if half of society would amend these Biblical verses to ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, except financially; and they shall become one flesh’ and ‘So they are no longer two, except the bank accounts, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate, except the money’.

In this world of hyper competition stress rules. If children are part of a marriage the love and joy that come to parents can also be accompanied by even more stress as the demands on available resources grow. If outside influences threaten the financial stability of the family stress levels rises even higher. Money is one of the major contributors to divorce, and it’s easy to see why. Many people are constantly worried about taking care of their families, and as they grow older taking care of themselves through retirement. Such worry can breed fear. Fear can eat at the faith and trust in one another that was assumed at the start of a life together. As faith and trust erode the bonds of matrimony can begin to resemble chains tied to a sinking vessel where it becomes ‘every man for himself’. However, if couples are committed to each other ‘for richer, for poorer’ they can lean on each other for the strength necessary to endure and overcome the challenges of life in these modern times. Years of struggle and effort together can help forge a tie that can defy financial obstacles in favor of the security such strong bonds ensure. Such security might not be financially based, but instead, it might find a strong foundation in emotion. This means that sometimes spouses have to choose what is most important to them- money or love.

While comparing the pros and cons of united versus separate finances in marriage a clear conclusion emerges that supports the unified approach. Consider the following from Engaged Marriage: “Reasons Why a Joint Bank Account is Best: Encourages regular communication about finances. Built-in accountability partner on spending matters. Fosters unity in money matters. Strong sense of working together to meet financial goals. Clear that all household income is treated as “our” money. No conflict or administrative work in ‘splitting up the bills’… The use of a single joint account also encourages (requires, really) open communication about your finances, which is absolutely critical to a successful marriage.” –Should Married Couples Have Joint or Separate Bank Accounts? By Dustin of Engaged Marriage.

A proponent of separate marital finances might argue that many of the benefits outlined herein can still be enjoyed even if spouses are not one with money. Without performing the work necessary for financial harmony it is like trying to describe the taste of salt to someone who has never experienced it before. There is just no substitute for experiencing the rewards other than doing the work it takes for two people to harmoniously live together financially. Communication can become improved as each works to understand the others’ point of view. Sacrifice can enhance mutual appreciation as companions work to compromise with each other. Trust grows as each spouse strives to achieve mutual goals set together. Sharing money in marriage is an opportunity, not a burden.

In summation, money can make or break a marriage. Just like most issues in life we can use it to achieve positive results or let it use us in which case negative results often occur. The easy road might seem to be the separation of the marriage finances. However, putting aside the possible negative consequences a couple thus engaged will miss out on the opportunities to build an even stronger relationship with their spouse through working together in good faith and trust in one another. It does require work and sometimes it is hard. A couple will not realize the rewards of such hard work by avoiding the same through keeping their finances separate. That trust and faith in each other that was assumed at the start of their life together can, through such hard work, grow into absolute confidence as the years accumulate. I like the following quotation about shared marital finances and conclude with it as follows: “Call me weird, but I just don’t understand the logic of this. Call me old-fashioned, but I think marriage should be a partnership. Call me crazy, but I think separating your finances is a bad idea… (what) you are saying to each other is “I mostly trust you, but not with my money.” With this sort of attitude, how could you possibly fail??? ‘sarcasm drip, drip'” –Separate Finances: A Recipe for Marital Disaster, By Greg | August 28, 2012, | Debt, Income, Saving Money on Club Thrifty.

[baburaja97-blog]

New Post has been published on Vin Zite

New Post has been published on https://vinzite.com/finances-can-make-or-break-a-marriage/

Finances Can Make or Break a Marriage

Alternative Financing options

Most first marriages start with high hopes and dreams that the uninitiated lovers share in the boundless enthusiasm. Such optimism often includes an assumed trust and faith in one another. At the beginning of a new life together it can be easier to share assets and debts equally. As the marriage progresses and years are added to the relationship there are many factors that contribute to a decline in enthusiasm for sharing the money equally such as egos, selfishness, varied ideas about necessities versus wants, etc. Adversity sets in, as it does for all of us. Perhaps there are problems holding a job, or health issues arise, or maybe accidents occur or maybe it is as simple as mistakes which are made while balancing the checkbook. As troubles tax, a couple’s finances resentment might build as one or both partners look back and wonder if they could have been more prosperous by staying single. If finances are kept separate the chances of working through such adversity together are lessened. Isolated into what’s yours is yours and whats mine is mine people feel alone and disheartened even though they share life with another person through marriage. On the other hand, if finances are shared both partners are equally responsible for the successful financial outcome of the union. By jointly holding the money each spouse seeks the inputs and wisdom of the other to manage the accounts for maximum profit. What challenges one faces both faces together. What success one achieves both enjoy together.

“When you get married you become one.” “Money is a key area that helps bring unity.” David Ramsey, Financial Expert. “… spouses should combine all finances and work together towards common agreed upon goals… Separate money equals greed. The bottom line is this: couples that plan their lives and finances together are much more successful financially and with their relationships.” –Marriage and Money – Dave Ramsey vs. Suze Orman, March 20, 2012

The old saying goes ‘There is no I in a team’. Is marriage a contract between me and me, I and I, or is marriage about us, our, us? Going into life together can be tremendously beneficial to both partners. When two become one in all things each becomes more than they are by themselves. Math changes from 1+1=2 to 2 together = anything is possible. Many families have a tradition of saving their nickels and dimes to use to go on vacation. It strikes one as ridiculous to consider each family member saving to go on vacation separately. Mom saves to go see Grandma and Dad save to go camping and Marsha save for Disneyland while little Johnny saves to go to the ice cream parlor down the street. Agreeing upon a mutual activity takes negotiation and more effort than going on separate vacations, but it also builds shared memories that are held precious later.

This is not to say that one partner should demure in passiveness and yield to their spouse all financial opinions and decisions. Often there are stark differences in the perspective each companion users to view resource usage and risk management with. One spouse may be analytical in nature and the other might make their decisions from more of an emotional base. Such dissimilar viewpoints can make it challenging to reach an equilibrium both are comfortable with. It may seem easier just to separate finances. However, such a decision can result in grave consequences. “Divorce attorneys have told me that when money is the issue that brings a couple into see them, as it often is, the specific issue is usually that the husband and wife were living separate financial lives. Want to mess up your marriage? Live separate financial lives.” How to Mess Up Your Marriage, Monday, December 12th, 2011, Matt Bell, author of Money and Marriage.

Is there more to a union of two souls than that of corporate mergers? Ironically, finances are often merged in shared business arrangements yet there are some who recommend the opposite approach for couples as if married companions are “… Independent Operators, my term for pairs who keep their accounts entirely separate.” Jessica Crouse.

Healthy marriages are built upon compromise, respect for each other, and the willingness to entertain the thought that together you are smarter than you are separate. Nature witnesses to the efficacy of sharing the resources- even birds and animals bring home the bacon to be shared with the whole pride. Think about the survival rate of any animal species that behaved as if each was responsible separately for their maintenance and subsistence. “Life is not 50:50, nor should it be… when did this degrade from a marriage to a micromanaged contractual partnership?… I see a continuum from the first bit of separate money in a marriage to basically living as roommates.” Evolving Personal Finance: The Slippery Slope of Separate Money.

Sometimes we might find ourselves wondering why some people make the financial decisions they do. During the recent housing crisis, many opinions were expressed via twitter, internet forums, and even talk shows about where the responsibility rested for so many foreclosures. Terms like ‘predatory lenders’ and ‘irresponsible borrowers’ were bandied about. It is natural to become coach quarterbacks and passenger seat drivers when viewing problems others encounter, especially when we had no contribution to such problems. How easy it becomes to do the same with a spouse when married partners hold the finances separately. Harboring criticism instead of openly communicating about financial troubles does little to foster unity in marriage.

“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Today it seems as if half of society would amend these Biblical verses to ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, except financially; and they shall become one flesh’ and ‘So they are no longer two, except the bank accounts, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate, except the money’.

In this world of hyper-competition stress rules. If children are part of a marriage the love and joy that come to parents can also be accompanied by even more stress as the demands on available resources grow. If outside influences threaten the financial stability of the family stress levels rises even higher. Money is one of the major contributors to divorce, and it’s easy to see why. Many people are constantly worried about taking care of their families, and as they grow older taking care of themselves through retirement. Such worry can breed fear. Fear can eat at the faith and trust in one another that was assumed at the start of the life together. As faith and trust erode the bonds of matrimony can begin to resemble chains tied to a sinking vessel where it becomes ‘every man for himself’. However, if couples are committed to each other ‘for richer, for poorer’ they can lean on each other for the strength necessary to endure and overcome the challenges of life in these modern times. Years of struggle and effort together can help forge a tie that can defy financial obstacles in favor of the security such strong bonds ensure. Such security might not be financially based, but instead, it might find a strong foundation in emotion. This means that sometimes spouses have to choose what is most important to them- money or love.

While comparing the pros and cons of united versus separate finances in marriage a clear conclusion emerges that supports the unified approach. Consider the following from Engaged Marriage: “Reasons Why a Joint Bank Account is Best: Encourages regular communication about finances. Built-in accountability partner on spending matters. Fosters unity in money matters. Strong sense of working together to meet financial goals. Clear that all household income is treated as “our” money. No conflict or administrative work in ‘splitting up the bills’… The use of a single joint account also encourages (requires, really) open communication about your finances, which is absolutely critical to a successful marriage.” –Should Married Couples Have Joint or Separate Bank Accounts? By Dustin of Engaged Marriage.

A proponent of separate marital finances might argue that many of the benefits outlined herein can still be enjoyed even if spouses are not one with money. Without performing the work necessary for financial harmony it is like trying to describe the taste of salt to someone who has never experienced it before. There is just no substitute for experiencing the rewards other than doing the work it takes for two people to harmoniously live together financially. Communication can become improved as each works to understand the others’ point of view. Sacrifice can enhance mutual appreciation as companions work to compromise with each other. Trust grows as each spouse strives to achieve mutual goals set together. Sharing money in marriage is an opportunity, not a burden.

In summation, money can make or break a marriage. Just like most issues in life we can use it to achieve positive results or let it use us in which case negative results often occur. The easy road might seem to be a separation of the marriage finances. However, putting aside the possible negative consequences a couple thus engaged will miss out on the opportunities to build an even stronger relationship with their spouse through working together in good faith and trust in one another. It does require work and sometimes it is hard. A couple will not realize the rewards of such hard work by avoiding the same through keeping their finances separate.

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Through His Eyes - Part 5

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Through His Eyes will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 [M] | 13 - FINAL

Clicking the door to his personal studio shut later that day, Jaebum approached you as you were slowly feeling your way around the room. “I’m not going to break anything, am I?”

“Here, let me help you to a chair.” He guided you to the seat beside him and then turned on his computer. As he logged in, Jaebum glanced over at you again. Your face was glowing with excitement. It made him smile further and he focused back on his computer, going into the files and pulling up the software he used to record.

“What are we going to do now?”

“I thought we could record a song together.”

“What?” You shook your head. “No way.”

“Why not?” Jaebum watched as you retreated further into your seat. Reaching for your hands, he shifted them forward. “The keyboard is right in front of you.”

“I can’t play music.”

“Can’t, or never learned?”

You sheepishly glanced away. “Both.”

“Today you learn then. What good is it having you here if you cannot help me with my job?”

“Funny, I only remember your name as being the talented producer, not mine.”

Jaebum laughed and shifted your chair closer. Turning on the keyboard, he then lifted your hands right onto it. “Just try. We can do this together.”

“Well, I do know some basic children’s songs from years ago on the piano.” You mentioned anxiously and then started to fumble around on the keys until you found a C. Your hands seemed to move more easily as you tested the keys and their sounds. Soon you were playing, albeit a little rusty, but Twinkle Twinkle Little Star sounded around the room. Jaebum turned to his computer and clicked on a couple of synthesisers, before moving closer to you.

“Let’s build on this. You keep playing that, and I’ll add to it.”

“How?” you asked but continued to play your segment, Jaebum’s own hands reaching around yours and adding to the sounds. It was impromptu yet fun and soon you had played for ten minutes together. Jaebum stopped playing and then reached for the mouse to replay the creation. You listened quietly as the music filled the room again.

“What do you think?” he asked and noticed your eyes were closed. Jaebum gazed at you, trying to understand all your emotions across your face. Suddenly your eyes fluttered open and he blinked a few times, surprised by how rich the colour your eyes now were.

“How did we manage to turn my basic music into something so intricate?”

“That’s what I do every day. Play with sounds, and build on them. Shall we try again?”

“Something more than a nursery rhyme though?” You looked at him hesitantly and Jaebum tilted his head, waiting for you to speak again. “Can you teach me something better?”

“Can I be honest?” You nodded. “I need you to move.”

“Where to?” You stood up immediately, and Jaebum pushed your chair out of the way. Without any thought to it, he sat you down on his lap, pushing you both closer to the keyboard. He could feel how stiff you had gotten and swallowed himself, shaking his head from all thoughts and focusing on the task. Jaebum moved your hands back to the keys and placed his over yours.

“Relax, we’re playing music, we need to be fluid.”

“You were pretty fluid in getting me to this position. Should I remind you of your skin-ship issues?”

“How else was I meant to teach you if you cannot feel it properly? I’m not going to break my back leaning over your chair.”

You nodded softly and relaxed. “Point taken. Okay, teacher, let’s start.”

The music you began to produce had no particular style to it and was simply played in repetition until it was your hands doing all the work. You played through the sequence once more before clapping your hands together with joy.

Jaebum grinned. “I take that you are happy?”

“I never thought I could do something this cool! I always have listened to music, but now that I can only rely on listening, it seems more, I don’t know how to put it.”

“Soul reaching?” Jaebum suggested and you nodded happily. “I’m glad. Should we listen back to it?”

“Definitely! Oh, wait. I just need to check something.” You pressed a button on your watch and the time sounded out around the room. “It’s seven-thirty! How long will it take to get me back home?”

“Half an hour? We’ve got all-”

“Mum gave me a curfew of eight!” You jumped up and smacked into the edge of the desk, a yelp emitting from your mouth immediately. Falling back into his lap, Jaebum quickly grabbed you, making sure to not let you fall.

“Are you okay?” he asked, seeing tears spring up in your eyes. “I can drive you home now.”

“I’m so clumsy, did I break anything?” You moved your head around as if to survey for any damage. “Ugh, I can’t see if I did!”

“Nothing’s broken, except you. Adding another bump to your collection,” Jaebum teased and you began to cry. He softened his approach and held onto you, wondering why you were crying so much. As if you read his mind, you tried to stem the flow of your tears.

“I want to be able to see again. I want to see this room; I want to see everyone I met today. I want to read the words to the new song instead of trying to memorise it. I want to understand where I am, and not worry about how much time it takes to get from places as my only way to measure what I’m doing. I just, I want to see again, Jaebum. I want… I want to see you.”

Jaebum didn’t know what to say, his throat drying up at your emotional confession. He had no idea what to address first from your words and blinked back his own threatening tears. He held onto you, letting you cry, and feeling incapable to grant anything you asked for. Today had been his plan, his hope to bring happiness into your world. To make you feel normal again. Instead, it had highlighted so many things Jaebum took for granted. He kicked himself for not thinking to get a Braille translation of their song before the day started out.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” was all he could say, holding you until your tears stopped falling.

The car ride back to your home was silent until your phone went off. Tiredly, you reached to answer it and Jaebum heard your mother’s voice connect on the other end. “Sorry Mum, we’re in the car coming back now… I’m not far I’m sure… No, I’m fine. I’ll be there soon.”

“Was she worried you went past your curfew?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll apologise when we get there.” You made no effort to reply, your head falling back down and the silence enveloped you both again. Apart from telling you to look out for things as you headed into your apartment complex, Jaebum felt defeated to improve your mood. You made it to the front door and your mother opened it, and you took off your shoes and put on your slippers. Wordlessly, you turned to bow at Jaebum and then walked off into the house, your mother looking between you and him, trying to decide on whom to talk to first.

She climbed out onto the first step and closed the front door, facing Jaebum worriedly. “What happened?”

“I’m sorry we’re late. We lost track of time.”

She waved him off and searched his eyes for her answer. “She cried?”

“She broke down completely and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t realise I would upset her this much.”

“What happened?” The older woman asked and Jaebum sighed before explaining what you had said. She had tears in her eyes as he finished and reached out to pat his shoulder maternally. “Jaebum, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I should have been more aware of what I take for granted though.”

“Y/N will learn that some things are going to be hard. I think she had a wonderful day with your band members. She clearly had a great time with you in the studio too. But Y/N got overwhelmed and drained from the day out. It was a big outing for someone who has been stuck at home so much so don’t feel disheartened. You gave her hope. You should have seen her this morning. I haven’t seen her so animated since the accident. She was having a meltdown over what to wear to impress you all. She didn’t care about being blind. She simply acted like any other girl getting ready to meet some special people.”

“Really?” Jaebum smiled lightly, remembering back to his first reaction of seeing you earlier in the day in your dress.

“I know in the past, I told you to return to your place. You never listened, and I knew you wouldn’t. She never wanted to let you go, even though she would say it to you and me all the time. That was her insecurities of looking silly in front of you.” Your mother smiled warmly and glanced at the door as if it would let her see her daughter. She then looked back at him with a firm but warm expression. “Now, I see you as one of her healing paths. Because you can push her in ways I cannot. She’s returning to her studies earlier than I thought. She’s growing more optimistic by the day. Sure, Y/N will struggle; she will take falls and feel hopeless at times. But she has you to help her back up each time. I don’t know what your relationship is with my daughter, but your presence in her world is helping her live again.”

Jaebum nodded softly, not knowing what to reply back with.

“You’re a busy idol though. Tell Y/N when you can’t be around her. Let her know the schedule is too tight. But don’t abandon her. Jaebum, you’re her hope.”

“I… I uh-”

“I’m going to go inside now and try and comfort her. Goodnight. And thank you for bringing her home safely to me. The hardest thing for me is letting her out the door.”

Jaebum remained on the steps even after the mother had disappeared inside the apartment. After a while, he managed to pull himself together and walk back to his car in a daze, hopping into it and then staring into nothingness through the windscreen. Slowly, Jaebum began to feel his emotions fall, unsure of why he was crying. He had felt so numb just a moment before that the tears now seemed to surprise him.

I don’t know what your relationship is with my daughter.

The sentence repeated over in his head, confusing him. He didn’t know what it was either. Jaebum had felt friendship and selfishness all in one when it came to you. Some days, he needed to hear your voice just to concentrate, like a coping mechanism and a way to relieve his guilt of knowing you could be struggling somewhere. Other days, he just felt true friendship, as if he had known you his whole life. You had become so close in such a short space of time, that he had never questioned or defined what your relationship was.

“Do I need to?” he asked himself, wondering why the words had affected him so much. Jaebum tried to guess if you had any validated definition of what you both were. His mind shifted to BamBam’s bias question earlier in the day, something Jaebum had never put emphasis into before. Had BamBam been standing in his spot on that day, would you have done the same thing as you had for him? Jaebum didn’t hesitate to conclude you would have. This made him feel bitter, and yet he couldn’t fathom why. Jaebum would have pushed BamBam, or anyone, out of harm’s way as well.

“Let it go for now,” he ordered his brain, shaking his head and starting up the ignition to the car. Pulling out of the car park and out onto the road, Jaebum headed back to the studio, his mind reeling over the songs you created together. He knew there was one thing he needed to do first before I saw you next, and that was to produce them.

_________________

[Part 6]

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