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foxie-roxie · 4 years ago

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why rayllum is a MASTERPIECE part 3

*RUBS MY CLAWS TOGETHER* IT IS SEASON 3 TIME BITCHES AND H O L Y S H I T I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH

i even rewatched it for this!

this time i’ll try to have SOME order, and go by episode. this will however still include unintelligible screaming

1. DAMN THESE FUCKERS BE PINING MORE THAN A PINE TREE FOREST!

first off, affectionate eye rolling, nose boop, and head bonk is the best thing.

second, IF SOMEONE SAYS THAT DURING WHEN CALLUM WAS HELPING RAYLA PUT ON HIS SCARF AND THEY J STARED AT EACHOTHER FOR A BIT BEFORE RAYLA TURNED AWAY THAT HE WAS N O T LOST IN HER EYES? they’re wrong. this is fact now.

third, their teamwork and decision making is excellent. they agree to try and sneak past sol regem, and when that fails try talking to him and then decide to simply trick his senses with the scarf. and instead of rayla shooting down callum’s “smelltriloquism” idea, she simply adds onto it! LOVE HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS

“i think it’s good luck!” YES IT IS RAY THAT’S UR BOYFRIENDS SCARF

also, here you go. you’re welcome.

2. STILL PINING. GOD DAMN.

first, CALLUM BEING SO EXCITED BY ALL THE MAGIC IN XADIA IS S O CUTE! MY SON. this might turn into an overrall review of s3. o well

second. FLUSTERED RAYLA AND FLUSTERED CALLUM. Y E S

third, THE ADORABURR FIELD! their smiles were so fond and soft and A. they make me cry of joy.

an overall look on it, i like how this episode really shows their feelings clearly. no “will they won’t they”, at least for rayla. it’s clear she has feelings.

3. AH FUCK. ANGST.

first i love how when rayla mentions that she’s excited and happy but also terrified, callum tries to comfort her. good boi. best boi.

second, elf callum. i love that scene so much even if the second-hand embarrassment kills me, and rayla is j like “why the fuck do i love you. im gonna kill him.”

third, DANCE! callum not being rude and saying her home is “modest” before rayla explains it’s an illusion, his BLUSH WHEN SHE HELPS HIM, and the softness in general. rayla’s excitement that she’s home and talks abt that she can show callum where she went to school, the best moonberry surprise place, until...

fourth, AH FUCK. A N G S T T I M E. rayla being crest-fallen before callum says that it must’ve been a mistake, and she realizes that ethari would probably understand!

and then CONFIRMED GAYS. YES.

rayla realizing ethari ghosted her too and then callum GOING O F F. he angy and when rayla runs out callum IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS (like in a later episode) and comforts her again.

when ethari comes down and breaks the spell and says to callum “trees to meet you too” and rayla’s like “don’t encourage him”

also callum trying to get on the shadowpaw and ethari being Concerned is AMAZING. concerned dad content

i’ll talk more about ezran/ruthari/the dark magic trio in a later ted talk

4. H E R E W E G O

first, rayla clearly being sad and callum picking up on that quickly (he even seems to be almost falling on purpose, perhaps to make her smile?) and asking if she’s ok before being shot down by rayla insisting she is fine. GOD DAMN. THAT HURTS.

second, their interaction with nyx is so amazing. rayla being protective of zym and callum being a DORK is awesome, but also their decision making.

after rayla reluctantly decides that they can go see how nyx could get them across the desert so quickly, they see the ambler and then their reasoning is amazing.

“what do you think?”

“the dragon queen is dying.” and then i forget the rest of the exact quote but they give a subtle nod to eachother. they make their decisions TOGETHER. AS A TEAM. AND THAT’S ON HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS X2!

third, callum continuing to gently press for rayla to express her emotions. he doesn’t pressure her, but seems to simply let her know that if she needs to talk (when she insists she’s fine), he is there.

four, MORE FLUSTERED RAYLLUM. YES. TY NYX but also fuck u for taking zym but also ur hot- A N Y W A Y

five. OOOOOOH. MY FAVORITE SCENE.

rayla’s crying and callum tries to reassure her. nyx is plotting, while rayla runs away and callum follows. Y E S.

rayla talks about how there’s nobody left that cares about her and she lost everything.. and then the SPEECH. i have this speech memorized i’ve watched this scene so many times

"JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY. JUST, LISTEN TO ME. YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO FEEL THIS BAD ABOUT YOURSELF. I KNOW THAT, AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. YOU HAVE TRUE COURAGE, AND A BIG HEART! I'VE SEEN YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN SO MANY TIMES AND EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU GET UP AGAIN. THAT'S REAL STRENGTH. AND.. AND YOU'RE TEN TIMES FUNNIER THAN ANY HUMAN I KNOW! chuckle SEE? SEE YOU KNOW YOU'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE SMART AND FAST AND BEAUTIFUL. RAYLA YOU'RE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON I'VE EVER MET."

LOVE THEMMM

and then rayla kisses him and that’s all that happened. callum was not a dumbass. right? RIGHT???

5. MY FAVORITE EPISODE!

first, rayla saving callum from the soulfang serpents and callum helping her get up is AMAZING, LOVE THAT.

second, callum tryna get a good position and rayla j saying to hold onto her and callum GETTING FLUSTERED. BOY IS PINING also he didn’t have to hold her that close.

“I DON’T THINK OF HER THAT WAY” “YOU AND I DON’T HAVE THAT YET” LIAR.

three, THEM JUMPING OFF THE AMBLER AND. THAT WHOLE MOMENT? THE ROMANTIC TENSION IS KILLING ME

four. DAMN CALLUM RLLY DO BE HAVING HEART EYES @ RAYLA WHILE SHE KILLS LIKE 80 SOULFANGS HE IS PINING PART 2

five. THE SPEECH. THE SOFTNESS. THE KISSES. GOD DAMN. FAVORITE SCENE OUT OF THE ENTIRETY OF TDP. LOVE THEM.

also here you go again

what can i say except YOU’RE WELCOME

6. ANGST BUT ALSO FLUFF ALSO REUNION

once again won’t b talking abt ezran specifically but there’s some passing mentions of him from now on

first, rayla and callum reaching the stone thunder and callum asking “is it... a statue?” and rayla sadly saying “no. it’s not a statue” A. I CRI.

1.5 ayla and callum best dragon parents

i’ll get to an actual analysis later

second, THIS MOMENT IS UNDERRATED EVEN THO IT’S ONE OF MY FAVS why has nobody mentioned the lil tender moment where ezran is by phoe-phoe and rayla puts her hand on callum’s shoulder AND CALLUM PUTS HIS HAND ON HERS. SO SWEET.

third, OK I’LL STOP MOST OF MY UNINTELLIGIBLE SHRIEKS AND ACTUALLY ANALYZE THIS.

callum is upset because of thunder and rayla sympathizes immediately. this is similar to how callum lets rayla let out her own emotions, and rayla is doing the same. he explains how he feels angry, upset, confused, sad, and rayla quickly empathizes. he keeps on venting, not knowing whether to feel regretful, or glad, and how he’s confused because that’s sarai’s spear. he feels sorry that all this happened, but rayla reassures him that zym and ezran are going to break the cycle! that’s hope! and then they hold hands and i screech

AND THAT’S SO FUCKING HEALTHY AND I LOVE IT. THEY RLLY BREAK ALL BAD HET RELATIONSHIP STEREOTYPES (coughbutistillheadcanonthembothasbiandcallumistransilldieonthishillcough)

7. angst but not rayllum angst so its ok

first, they begin to go up the storm spire and i really love their banter. “and i’m guessing the dragon queen didn’t make her den at a nice, halfway kinda place?” “nope. tiptop!”

cuties.

second, ASSDHFNF THE FACT THEY M O C K THE IDEA OF A FORBIDDEN RELATIONSHIP. THEY’RE IN LOVE AND THE WORLD CAN DEAL WITH IT. LOVE THAT FOR THEM

third, RAYLA CATCHING CALLUM. IT’S. NOT RLLY BIG I JUST LIKE IT AND THINK IT’S CUTE HOW EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ALSO OUT OF BREATH SHE RAN UP TO CATCH HIM.

four, AHSDHGDHFG THEY DEADASS FORGOT EZRAN WAS THERE. more flustered rayllum i love that

8. FUCK IT’S RAYLLUM ANGST NOOOO

one, ibis is j a good boi. back to rayla and callum

two, rayla going in to see the dragon queen and when she runs out callum QUICKLY FOLLOWS to see if she’s ok. asks her if she’s ok, and she OPENS UP!! CHARACTER GROWTH BABY!!! and then they hold hands and i once again shriek

three, AH. HELLO ANGST.

before we go to the actual angst, can i say that THE LAUGH AFTER RAYLA SAID “STORM SNEEZE” IS SO CUTE. CALLUMS IN LOVE. MY SON.

oh no.

*bonks rayla on the head* nO SELF SACRIFICING!!

although their fight is super angsty and i hate it, it does provide some conflict and more plot because it gives callum a reason to want to find out the truth about rayla’s parents. and then he does! people argue that this fight was unnecessary or that callum was a jerk, but this was needed i think. he did let his worry become a bit of anger, and that was not a nice move, but he knows he fucked up and fixes it!

and then we get soft rayllum this is fine

9. AND YOU THOUGHT LAST EPISODE WAS BAD N O *CRYING*

there’s not much rayllum featured in this ep, but the amount we do get is 80 PERCENT ANGST AND I WASN’T OK WITH IT

first, the fluff! callum trying to do the wing spell and rayla teasing “did you pull a muscle in the middle of a jumping jack?” is so cute. i LOVE THEM. also they hold hands and i SH RIEK again.

also soren how dare you interrupt callum he was abt to confess

second, callum when he’s explaining the battle plan and his ZAP HAND. rayla is j watching him like “yep. that is my dork.”

and CALLUM SEEMS SO FOND WHEN JANAI CALLS RAYLA THE LAST DRAGONGUARD. PERHAPS I SOB

skipping forward in time a bit for the angst oh no

third, callum going up to the storm spire after ez encouraging him to go to rayla. love that soft brotherly relationship. and we think “oh, soft rayllum, right?”

NO. VIREN’S UP THERE.

fourth, THEY DIDN’T NEED ME TO BE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR WTF. the fact that rayla’s blade went right in front of callum and he looks up and sees zym in danger, viren is there, and RAYLA is there, p a n i k.

and then rayla jumps and the entire rayllum fandom SC REAMS after callum’s “no!” before she jumps and “no, no, no, RAYLA!”

fifth, CALLUM NO WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TOO- oh wait its ok he did the wings and im still crying fuck

THAT CONFESSION THO- i cri tears of joy now. they’re in love

sixth, I J WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE EZRAN SHOWED UP. like it’s clear that they’re talking or something, but abt what is the question. also yes they hug and raylas fond

seventh, THEY HOLD HANDS!! soft bbs,,,

AAAND IM DONE! this is. quite long so if you read all of this i hope u have a good day and thnx for listening to me ramble with some coherent thoughts

#rayla #callum #rayllum #rambling #thanks for reading #ezran #tdp season three #tdp s3 #soren #the dragon prince zym #tdp

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sexhaver · 4 years ago

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Okay so how do you pack a cone that doesn't suck? Mine never burn evenly.

alright so you’re gonna need several things:

conical tips (or “filters” if you’re some kind of philistine). raw makes these, they come in little booklets of 25 shaped like an arch so when you roll them up they’re narrower on one end than the other. you can roll a cone with regular tips but it’s harder and the end result is gonna have a little wobble around the tip no matter what you do.

papers (duh). i’ve tried most brands and prefer raw but anything will do here.

weed (duh x2). get a fine grind but don’t turn it into sand. grind up a bit more than you think you need.

tray + a card to sweep weed up with. this method is messy.

picks/tampers. this is the most important part. you want at least one straight, sharp poker and one tamper with a decent diameter (the back of most pens will do the trick).

roll the tip and stick the narrow end in a pen cap or some similarly sized hole. leave it there while you do the rest of this shit

grind your weed and dump it all out onto the tray

put your tip from step 1 into your choice of paper and dump some weed in there. don’t worry about how much you’re putting in or if some falls out; you’ll fix that soon. right now all you’re tryna do is get the paper glued in the right shape. also make sure there’s no weed on the wrong side of the tip or else itll look really ugly

now you do the standard rolling thing where you pinch the two ends of the paper and rock them back and forth to force the weed into a roughly tubular shape. the difference with a cone is that you want to follow the line the conical tip makes, moving further up the closer you get to the other end. ideally the opposite end from the tip (i.e. the side you light) should just barely touch the glue strip. you’re not gluing anything yet, just compacting the weed

here’s where the first lifehack comes in. instead of fumbling with the initial “tuck” of one side of the paper under the other, use the sharp poker to force it under there alongside the tip. then once you’ve got that corner tucked, work your way up to the other end. you’re ready to proceed when one edge of the paper is entirely tucked under the side with the glue strip. again, don’t worry how much weed is actually in the joint at this point; you really only need enough for the area by the tip to hold its shape as you roll

lick the glue strip and seal it, starting from the fatter end (the side you light) and working towards the tip. this is by far the hardest part and takes a lot of practice to nail. ideally you want a nice even seal with no wrinkles that’s snug around the entire filter. if you fuck this step up there’s no shame in starting over from step 3

now the fun part. take the pointy poker, hold the joint upright (open end up), and just fucking.... stab the weed. if you do felting at all it’s a very similar technique. you basically want to reach down through all the loose weed near the end and make sure the weed by the tip is nice and compact, both against the tip itself and the paper. this can be kind of tedious but it’s extremely important. if you only pack down one part of your joint, make it the part by your mouth. otherwise it’ll be sad and limp and deformed. just pack that shit down

once you’re satisfied with the tip area, bust out the tamper and start going to town. tamp tamp tamp in a circular motion until you have a nice flat surface, then dump a bit more weed in there and repeat. don’t get impatient and dump in too much at once; doing this step in stages is essential

if you’re planning on taking the joint somewhere else to smoke it, stop maybe 1 or 2 mm before the end of the paper, pinch the loose paper together, and twist to seal the end off. if you’re gonna just smoke it immediately i like to leave the end open and sprinkle some keef at the very end so it lights nicer

now that i’ve written this out i realize it absolutely needs pictures or god forbid a video but unfortunately this is as much effort as im willing to put into answering this rn. if enough ppl are inch rested i could try making a more visual tutorial

#Anonymous

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reminiscing-writer · 5 years ago

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Unexpected Surprise

Prompt: Reid is a regular at his local bookstore, and also has a very good acquaintance with the young storekeeper there. When she turns down his date very last second, he finds a secret about her that can’t help but make him fall harder for her.

Warning: idk man I’m just tryna write fluff lmao I got hella carried awayyyy

We all deserve happy Reid

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The cold October air whizzed by, as Spencer walked into Pages And Pages, his local bookstore, with a large smile on his face, and two steaming coffees in hand. He’d made it a part of his schedule to try and drop by at least once a week. Sure, the books were very captivating, but so was the receptionist.

He thought, from the moment he laid eyes on her, that she was a beauty. Her hair was always loosely tied in a bun, her make up close to minimal, and her sense of style almost mirrored his- sweaters. Lots of sweaters.

He found it fairly easy to talk to her, because, although at first he stumbled with his words, her kind and soft spoken demeanor drew him into a safe space.

Y/n was very well aware of Spencer’s occupation. If he didn’t come by on his weekly visit, she’d figure he was out saving the world, as she liked to put it.

The little bell on the large oak door of the bookstore rang as Spencer entered, and headed straight for y/n’s desk. He was very punctual. 12:15 every Friday. Y/n didn’t even have to look up to know that the shadow covering her table was him.

She had a smile etched on her lips before she even looked up, “You realize I’m seeing you in less than 48 hours right?” She joked, taking the cup of coffee he handed to her.

“I do,” he smiled, just as stricken by her beauty as the last time he saw her, “but, I didn’t want to skip out on meeting with you today.” He tucked a strand of loose hair behind his ear.

She takes a sip of her drink, humming at the delightful taste, “Why won’t you just tell me what you order?” She has her eyes closed, having every taste bud tingle in happiness, “This is delicious.”

He laughs slightly at her happiness, “Becuase, if I told you, then you could get it yourself, anytime. And, I want these coffee meetings to be special.” He says, shyly shrugging.

Y/n’s cheeks filled with a rose blush, “Dr. Reid, you are over the top.” She laughed softly, shaking her head.

“Just wait until Sunday,” Spencer sips his own coffee, “I’ll pick you up from your place, by 8 o’clock, you said, right?” He double-checked. He didn’t need to double check. He had it memorized down to a T. Her address. The route. The time to pick her up. The restaurant he was planning on taking her too. The walk that he planned on them taking from said restaurant to a small ice cream parkour.

He didn’t need to double-check anything.

“Mm-hmm,” She hummed, sipping her drink this time, nodding slightly, “he should be down by then,” she mumbles to herself, quickly scribbling down something on paper, “I’ll be ready by 8, waiting for you.” She smiled.

“I’m so sorry.” Y/n apologied for the hundredth time. “I really feel awful. I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” She sniffled over the phone.

“No, I-its fine,” Spencer spoke into his cell, trying so hard to mask the disappointment that was dripping in his voice, “I understand.” He was pacing back and forth in the break room at the office, “We couldn’t possibly know you’d be getting down with bronchitis. It’s not your fault.” Spencer says, scratching the back of his neck.

Y/n had called Saturday afternoon, the day before the duos scheduled date. She had been coughing and sniffling, saying she went to the Urgent Care near her earlier that morning because she was feeling off, and they said she had came down with a pretty bad case of bronchitis.

She kept apologizing and saying she’d make it up to Spencer as soon as she felt better.

Spencer tried not to take the date-canceling to heart. Y/n really was sick, she wouldn’t lie about that- would she? No, of course not. She wasn’t like that.

“Listen, don’t worry about it.” Spencer stopped pacing, “Just rest. That’s what you’ll need to feel better quicker.”

He heard her giggle lightly, causing him to smile, “Thanks, Doc.” He snickered at the nickname, “Hey, Spence,” he hummed in response, “I really do like you.” She said, causing his stomach to turn, “Please, don’t think I’m turning you down or anything. I really was looking forward to our date. And, I really do mean it when I say we’ll go on another one.”

He smiled to himself, putting one hand in the pocket of his jeans and swaying slightly, side to side, “Promise?”

“I promise.”

It had to be the right address. Spencer checked his phone for y/n’s previous message and confirmed it for the third time. He held his breath for a second, and licking his lips, he rang the doorbell again.

He felt bad that y/n had gotten bronchitis that just didn’t seem to go away for almost 5 days now. His first priority of Wednesday morning was to stop at a small Chinese spot and grab some soup.

Surprising her would be a small little thing he was hoping would make her happy. So, there he was. At y/n’s doorstep, soup in hand, ringing her bell, awaiting for her to open up.

He checked his watch again, and shuffled his feet. His stomach fluttered as soon as he heard shuffling from behind the door.

“I’m coming!” He heard her voice from inside. He played with the box of soup in hand, and bit his bottom lip anxiously. That’s when he heard a faint cry. Not her cry, though. A cry that seemed to belong to a small child. A baby, maybe. Spencer furrowed his brows, confused. “Baby, please, you have to lie down.” He heard y/n’s voice from a distance.

After some more shuffling around, the door before him opened. Y/n distractedly looked up at Spencer just to do a double take, shocked. “S-Spence? What- What are you doing here?” She asked, barely in frame of the open door.

He looked at her, unable to speak for a second. She fully came into view of him. She adjusted a small sleeping baby in her arms, the child’s head resting on her shoulder.

“I-um, I came to see you.” He spoke slowly, and quietly, “I bought soup.” He held up the box in his hands.

Y/n smiled, and just as she opened her mouth to reply, the baby she was holding began stirring causing her eyes to widen, “Come on in.” She whispered hastily, nodding to Spencer before going into her abode.

Spencer followed behind her, unsure of what exactly was happening. Questions were running through his head, but it was as if his body was working before his mind could catch up.

Y/n went straight to a small couch, and sat down, pulling her legs up, and cuddling the small child in her arms, wrapping the both of them up with a nearby shawl. Spencer’s heart warmed up at the sight, and he unknowingly smiled to himself.

He slowly walked towards the two when he heard a small but gruel cough come from the baby’s mouth.

“You’re... not the one that’s... sick?” He slowly pieced together, sitting on a couch opposing from the one y/n was on.

Y/n sighed quietly and licked her lips. Shaking her head, she stroked the small child’s hair, “No,” she looked up at Spence, “I’m not. They’re calling it bronchilitis, because he’s so young. It should be gone in about a week total, so at least 2 to 3 days left.” She swallowed hard. “It’s the first time he’s ever gotten sick, and I couldn’t just leave him with a sitter, which is why I had to stay back on our date. Im sorry,” she apologized in the midst of her ramble, “I just...” she paused before breaking eye contact with Spencer, “we don’t have anyone but each other.”

Spencer stayed silent for a moment. He watched y/n hold the baby close and his heart felt all heavy. It was a sight he didn’t think could affect him at all. But, something about a girl he was already infatuated with, being so protective and loving made him fall even deeper for her.

He just couldn’t form any words to express this to her, so he stared at the mother-son silently. That is, until the baby started coughing again. Y/n cringed at the way her son shook as he forced the cough out of his small body.

“I understand if you want to leave,” y/n spoke up, feeling Spencer’s eyes on her, “I shouldn’t have hid the fact that I’m a mother. It’s just, I know that some people would have seen it as,” she shrugged, “extra baggage, so I just refrain from saying it at all. I apologize.”

“You apologize far too much.” Spencer spoke without thinking for once, shocking himself and y/n. He stood up from his seat, and wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, “Does he, uh, drink soup?” Spencer asked nodding to the child.

Y/n cracked a small smile, “Adam,” she said, “and, yes, he actually is very fond of soup.”

Spencer nodded, before finding his way into the kitchen. As quietly as possible, he emptied the soup into a bowl, and plopped a decent looking spoon into it. Filling a small glass with water, he brought it out to y/n, who was now standing, pacing with a very upset looking Adam.

Spencer’s brows furrowed in worry.

“He’s fine,” y/n assured him, “just a little fussy. Don’t worry.”

“It’s tough, huh?” Spencer spoke, not sitting down until Adam had calmed, “Being a parent, I mean.”

Y/n had seated up the small one year-old next to her on the couch. She was slowly feeding him the soup, and although he was dozed off on meds, he slurped it up happily.

“Being a single parent is something I wasn’t ready for,” y/n admits, wiping some soup of Adams chin, “but, I love this monkey so much,” she scrunched her nose to her son, who gave a very sleepy smile in return, having Spencer laugh lightly, “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

Spencer answered the third FaceTime call he had received in the past 5 minutes, “Hey, sorry I was in a meeting with Hotch, is everyth-” he cut his sentence short when he saw his girlfriends face tearstreaked on screen. “Oh, my god,is everything okay? Are you hurt? Is Adam okay?” He quickly rambled, his mind thinking the worst.

Y/n sniffled, “I’m fine, we’re fine,” she quickly answered, “just, wait-“ she quickly runs into a different room and Spencer can hear Adam babbling in the background. He smiles hear the child’s voice. “Watch this.” Y/n tells Spencer. She pulls up a photo, and shows it to her boyfriend first.

It was of the two of them on New Years Eve, happily smiling. Spencer was holding a very giggly Adam, and had his free arm wrapped around y/n’s waist.

She turns the photo to Adam, “Sweetheart,” she tries to grab her sons attention, “hey, Adam,” He looks up to her wide eyed, “you know who this is, baby?” She points to herself.

Adam starts clapping and smiling, “Mama! Mama!” Y/n starts tearing up all over again.

“Yes!” Spencer encourages the child, “Hey, good job!” He gets shushed by y/n quickly.

She points to Spencer in the photo and asks Adam, yet again, “Okay, sweety, and who’s this?” She ask, already ready to cry again.

Adam starts laughing and jumping in place, “Dada! Is dada!”

Spencer gasps, covering his agape mouth with one hand. “Did you teach him that?” He asks a very ecstatic y/n who shakes her head.

“No, he just started to point to the picture all by himself and talk.” She sniffled, leaving the room her son was sitting in.

“Well, one things for sure,” a very smiley Spencer admits happily, “he’s smart, just like his Mama.” He attempts a wink, causing y/n to laugh.

It was early. Y/n could feel the December brisk air seeping into the apartment, making her pull her duvet up to cover herself further. She felt a tug, as her boyfriend pulled her covers back from her.

“Hey,” She grumbled, “no hogging.” She whined causing Spence to turn to face her and snicker sleepily.

The two heard their bedroom door open slowly, and the slight pitter patter of small feet tip toe in.

“He’s awake.” Spencer whispered to his girlfriend, peeping one eye open.

“Brace yourself.” Y/n groaned, just seconds before the three year old attacker jumped on the bed. He bounced and he jumped and he laughed loudly, inevitably causing him the grown ups in bed to groan and slowly sit up in bed.

“Mama, Daddy! It’s Critthy Time! It’s Critthy time, now!!” He pumped his tiny fists into the air.

Spencer smiles, still trying to open both eyes, “Did Santa even get you any gifts? You’ve been been pretty naughty lately.” Y/n groans, covering her head with a pillow.

“So many! Daddy, there’s like,” Adam puts up 3 fingers carefully, “this many boxes with my name!!”

Spencer fake gasps causing the child to have a giggle fit, “Honey, Adam has been such an angel, I’m sure all of the gifts under the tree are his.” Spence pulls the pillow off y/n’s face receiving a groan from her. “Long night?” He smirks to her, causing her to stick her tongue out. Her cheeks slightly blushed as she remembered the... eventful night the two shared.

“I’m exhausted.” She sighed, sitting up and rubbing her tired eyes. Adam jumps out of the bed and runs to the living room. Spencer can’t help but smile at the little ones pajamas.

They were a mom-dad-child set. So all three of them were wearing the same red plaid winter pajamas. Spencer and y/n had gone to sleep in just the pants of the set, so before they went out to the Christmas tree, they made sure to put on the shirts as well.

Y/n groggily made her way to the sofas, and sat by the foot of one. Spencer made his way to the kitchen to put the coffee on before he sat beside y/n, his arm draping around her shoulders, and her resting her head on his chest.

Adam came up to y/n, putting his face a mere centimeters from hers, as grabs her shoulders by his small hands. “Can I open, now? Please?” He pouted to his mother.

She laughed and kissed her nose, “Of course, monkey. Let’s see what Santa got my big boy.” Adam cheered before running to the small pile of boxes under the decently lit tree.

He help up a box, and took it to Spencer first, having him nod in indication that it does in fact have Adams name on it. Happily he plops down right in front of y/n and starts to tear open the wrapping paper. The smell of coffee starts to fill the apartment, and Spencer gives y/n a kiss on the forehead before getting up to go to the kitchen.

“Mama?” Adam whispers to his mother, who simply hums at him in response, “You know, Daddy opened presents not asking you.” He said to y/n innocently.

She furrowed her brows, ruffling his hair, “What are you talking about, Pumpkin?”

“Daddy,” he repeats, “he took a small box and hid it in his jacket. He don’t want you to know. So, you can’t get mad.” He explained, although causing more confusion to his already confused mother.

Y/n had suspicions for a few months now. She once overheard Spencer on the phone with his colleagues, saying something along the lines of yeah man, I knew she was the one a while ago. Any day now. I’m just deciding on when.

Then, she was borrowing his phone once when Adam has dropped hers down the toilet, and when she opened Safari, she saw 2 tabs open. One that had been searching for unique and special rings, and the other that was searching, children’s tuxes and suits.

But, what really put the icing on the cake for her, was when the three of them were coming home late after one Spencer’s teammates wedding. Y/n had been tired so she was resting her head, with her eyes closed. Adam was already fast asleep, snoring lightly. Spencer has put his hand on y/n’s thigh, and when her being to tired to respond, translated into she’s asleep for him, he said the words that had been tugging at y/n’s heart since then.

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

Y/n unfolds her legs, and slowly gets up, “Mama’s gonna go check on Daddy,” she informs her child, “I’ll be right back.” She kisses the top of his hair.

She goes into the kitchen to see two mugs with steaming coffee in them, but no Spencer in sight. She furrows her brows, and turns to head into the bedroom, looking for her boyfriend. Glancing over her room she fails to see him again. She frowns slightly, and turns around on her heels, almost falling over her own feet when she bumps into Spencer right behind her.

“You scared me.” She frightenedly giggles, putting a hand over her heart. “I was looking for- What... are you doing?” She narrows her eyes at him when he takes a step back, and gets down on one knee. She sees a paper and a small box in his hand.

Her breathing fastens, watching his every move, “I was planning on doing this on New Years, at Rossi’s house party,” Spencer started off, “but, my surprise seems to have been foiled.” He nervously laughs. “Y/n,” him saying her name causes her eyes to start tearing up, “You came into my life unexpectedly,” he says, “but, I decided a long time ago, that you were definitely the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” He looked over his shoulder to Adam, then back to y/n, “Both of you.” He inhaled as y/n’s bottom lip trembled, “Y/n,” she whimpers in response, biting her bottom lip, “will you do me the honor of making me your husband, and the official father of Adam?”

Y/n in the midst of her crying, sniffles and cocks her head, confused. She walks closer to Spencer, pulling him to stand up. He hands her the piece of paper and opens the small box in his hands.

A beautiful ring shone brightly in Spencers hands, and adoption papers shook in y/n’s hands.

1 very cold wedding, 2 additional siblings to Adam and a kitten later; and still, Spencer refused to tell y/n what type of coffee he would get for her when they go out.

I kinda like this mmm we’ll see my opinion change in a few days lol

#spencer fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer x reader #spencer reid imagines #criminal minds #pure fluff #fluffy fluff #im actually proud of this #hehe #daddy spence #dad!spencer #christmas #very long blurb lol #fluff #cute #single mom #thats not a trigger #right #lol

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hinabes · 5 years ago

Text

"Flames of Creation” event story summary

aka White Truffle’s event.

Won’t be translating this one fully anytime soon at least, bc I was going to work on somen’s event and I’m going on holiday lol

The gist of it is:

White Truffle runs(?) a science/research organization, Perigord(?), and is Waffle’s teacher.

They’re tasked to create weapons that use soul power like food souls’ but can be effectively used by humans.

Waffle goes to cafe satan to borrow a food soul’s gun, and successfully rents Black Tea’s.

A some point (it’s the 4th chapter, but I think it happens chronologically before the 1st chapter,) White Truffle receives a letter from Donut talking about how she’s grateful for the support of manpower and weapons and stuff. Pretty sure it happens chronologically before all of this at least. Idk I kinda skimmed through it all lol

Story snippets:

Bits and pieces I thought interesting enough to translate. Contains gratuitous rephrasing and multiple terrible jokes, but it’s the gist of what they’re talking about.

Part 1: Waffle and White Truffle talk about making soul powered weapons for humans. (Not to be confused with chapter 1, I think this spans multiple chapters)

Waffle: Humans have basically no soul power, right? Even master attendants, with their slightly higher amount, are unable to effectively wield a food soul's weapon and damage fallen angels, isn't that a conclusion that has been reached long ago?

White Truffle: So you want to back out of the project? Waffle: No no no wait! Teacher wait! Who said I’m backing out? I’m just worried there’s not enough funding! White Truffle: I’m funding this project, there’s no upper limit to the expenditure. Waffle: (mr krabs voice) I'll do it! Two months, psh, piece of cake!

Waffle: White arms or firearms? Does teacher have a preference? White Truffle: I personally prefer firearms.

//TIL cold weapons/white arms (as opposed to firearms) are weapons that don’t use combustion or “heat”. It comprises of blunt or edged melee weapons and bows/crossbows. In other words, this is White Truffle.

//Just for reference, Waffle also says she herself prefers white arms and “omg...clearly firearms are superior.......im going down wrong path.....”

Part 2: Waffle goes to cafe satan to borrow a gun. (Chapter 5)

Coffee doesn’t recognise that Waffle is a food soul at first glance, only when she took out her cube and told him.

//Of course, this isn’t that the story says word for word but I’m lazy. Just tryna convey the idea that food souls apparently can’t pick out other food souls by some sixth sense or whatever, or Coffee just sux

Waffle: (Phew...just as Compressed Biscuit said, it's alright for food souls to go on a walk-in-basis)

//Compressed biscuit also known as hardtack, which is actually a much better name that should probably be used. But compressed biscuit is also more literal and gets the idea across better. Idk I didn’t know what hardtack was before this. Is that a hashtag justsingaporeanthings or a hashtag imdumbass?

Coffee: Can I ask what you’ll be using a food soul's gun for? Waffle: Taking it apar- uh, I mean, experiments. Coffee: I think I just heard something really suspect. Black Tea walks in. Black Tea: Get me a glass of water. Also who’s the kid. Waffle: Hi oneechan can I look at your gun oneechan? Black Tea: Oh yea sure here you go. Coffee: WAIT

Waffle caresses the gun for a good half hour and rambles about “oooh these naturally formed carvings” “uwaah these runes”

//Again, not what it says word for word. I don’t think Waffle prefers white arms anymore, not after this LMAO

Part 3: White Truffle reads Donut’s letter. (Chapter 4)

Long time no see, White Truffle. I’ve almost forgotten when we’ve last met, hope you’re still just as lively.

Let me get back to the point.

The fortifications have been constructed with the help of the troops you employed. The relief supplies have been received as well. I am grateful for your help towards the Grace Army, towards me, in these crucial moments. May God be with you, though you do not seem to particularly like me saying that. The Grace Army upholds our beliefs and doctrines as always, may the heathens not trouble you in this time, but if they do, I can only apologise on behalf of them as former peers of mine.

Also, I wish to confirm with you the suggestion to research and develop weapons, do you accept? We’re in need of more means to combat the fallen angels, and I firmly believe that food souls aren’t the only way. Humans have potential strengths that we lack, and what we should do is assist them in manifesting it. You’re different from other food souls, White Truffle, and I believe that you’re the only one who can pull this off.

Finally, give your older sister my regards.

Your friend, Donut

//Translated her whole letter bc I crave the Donut content.

White Truffle sighed, the image of that girl appearing in her mind; the last thing she was left with from when she was sighted.

//Actually word for word translation this time! Her direct reaction after reading the letter. Also she’s blind if you haven’t noticed. She gets her dog, Cherub, to fetch the letter for her and reads it with some (probably text to speech) device that she places on the physical letter. Does that mean Donut doesn’t know she became blind, or knows she has the device? Or alternatively (tech is weird in Tierra) they just don’t have any other means of conveying a message.

Ending (Chapter 6)

Waffle somehow turns the gun (a recreation, modeled after Black Tea’s, it’s not her actual gun don’t worry) into a grenade, counts that as a success and laughs like mad scientist.

//Again, not word for word. But there’s a good 2 to 3 speech bubbles where she’s just HAHAHAHAHAH IT WORKED HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What we learned(?)

White Truffle is rich and is associated with a science organisation, Perigord, and may or may not be its founder and boss.

White Truffle is Waffle’s teacher.

White Truffle works with the Grace Army, possibly supporting them financially.

There’s a Hardtack food soul.

White Truffle has an older sister.

The above two may or may not be the same person(?)

Humans have no soul power and master attendants have a marginal amount, either due to being a MA or the reason they can be a MA.

Food souls have a use for money(?) (Waffle rented Black Tea’s gun with money if I forgot to mention)

Food souls (or just Coffee) can’t immediately tell if someone is a food soul.

Donut is good gorl

Coffee is the only sane member of cafe satan

#food fantasy #ff white truffle #ff waffle #ff donut #ff coffee #ff black tea

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caandlelit · 6 years ago

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Hi! So I read that post where Hawks basically just gets a job at the lov bar? And I think Dabi will end up ranting about the other league members to,,,, someone. Theresmultiple Options for whp that Person is: 1) some small-time hero (newbie?) whos more concerned with srvivng than catching Dabi bc /Omg, it's the second most wanted villian, what do I do, help/ 2) Aizawa: Oh look it's Dabi. Oh look he's drunk, Maybe I can get some info out of this (I hit the character Limit, to be continuued, ily)

* part 2: Aizawa ends up with way more info than he wanted and decides to give the poor guy a break and Maybe get a drink himself bc how tf are These guys planning to kill All Might/ how tf did they kdnap one of my students (Also did the 2nd most wanted just call the nr3 hero cute) (hes cute but hes a hero! But hes cute! But hes a spy!) or 3) Shouto. hes slightly confused bc theres a Dabi ranting at him and ok hes getting a lot of info, but he should alert a pro

Shouto might also wonder why him (and is this guy drunk?) (Dabi just unconsiously gravitated to his Family for ranting) (part 3) Anyway could you write sth like this? I love your stuff, it's amazing *

sjshj thanks !! an shit this is an amazing idea holy shitt

listen its should be aizawa ok it'd be fucking hilarious

dabi would go to a club and be drinking for hours

aizawa was only there to pick up mic alright but he saw the villain guy who had discreetly helped the heroes at the camp thing and walked over

as a responsible hero must

he taps dabi on the shoulder and dabi whips around on the defensive and glares

aizawa holds up his hands like woah I ain't lookin for trouble

but dabi just hisses

"this is mY fucking vodka aLRIGHT if you even thINK about touching my vodka I will set you on fIRE. b-bitch."

aizawa buries his face in his hands and wishes he was never born

then he sighs, rolls back his shoulders and sits next to dabi and orders his own beer

because he can't in good conscious leave this guy alone cause he might murder someone by accident

that was his first mistake

his second was asking 'so how's it going'

dabi fuckin goes off okay he starts ranting

"fucking sHIT okay so heres the tea-"

'the what-'

"-the number three hero hawks is tryna be a villain-"

' what the fuck-'

"except he's so obviously a double agent which is a damn shame because it'd be fucking lit if he was a villain imagine the hero backlash god itd be wild plus hes cute-"

aizawa is just staring at him in pain and horror

who the fuck is this guy

what the fuck

oh my god he's still talking-

"-and listen I didn't sign up for this okay the villains are so fucking annoying alright jin? so annoying he never shuts up and he's always contrafuckindicting himself and spinner is a an actual fucking scaley-" alright that's it what the fuck

"-all I wanted was to take down fucking endeav*r alright he's such a dickkk- hEY!"

'what'

"don't tell anyone. that that's my plan. cause if they knew im only in it to let the world know he's abusive then they'd try and help me and that shit ain't gon' fly"

'what the fuck is going on'

oh shit im creating a new au where dabi accidentally let's aizawa know that endeavor is abusive and then he saves them all oh my god that'd be amazing shit

anyways thanks again!! im not gonna be able to study shit I have so many ideas hsjhshsj

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noussommeslessquelettes · 6 years ago

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🌻 so i think i've pavloved myself into getting an urge to reread Convenience every time i go back to that restaurant cause they always have hockey playing... its happened the last THREE times I've been there!! i just see the hockey and then a couple players will get in a fight as they do and im like "oh! convenience! that was so good the last seven times i should reread it again" and listen im not complaining because its amazing but yeesh

🌻 also my new goal is to recommend convenience + the rest of your fics to at least one new person a week cause i’ve already unconsciously done it the last three weeks in a row anyway (at minimum lmao) im! ur biggest fan! i reread brother this morning too and istg that scene with the gun like,, pidge telling keith not to cream his pants always feels like a callout @ me after that scene i swear. like yeah i may be ace but lance is hot as fuck and that’s the tea so

^ me handing custody of my heart over to u because u fucking OWN IT NOW FLOWER ANON!!!!

That restaurant fuckin know what’s good my dude, I remember when I went to Cali only ONE (1) place we went to had hockey on the TV and it was at the bar like half the restaurant away. I spent the whole meal leaned 45deg out of my seat tryna look at what was goin on lmao I was desperate. The hockey boys have to stop fighting though because it’s bad for my heart, the series we’ve been playing w Boston is so brutal, like every time there’s a check (and there are……. just so many) I’m like “stop being mean those are my boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(sidenote tho imagine post-Convenience Lance getting riled up every time Keith takes a hit like yelling “DON’T SQUISH HIM THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND!!!!” probably ready to throw down with the hockey mans through the TV screen even tho he’s a wet noodle in comparison to a professional hockey player. Keith thinks it’s sweet, albeit wholly unnecessary, but secretly lives in fear of the day Lance tries to pick a fight with someone over it)

Alsooooo good timing on these asks because I actually did get to rereading Convenience and Brother this weekend ^^;; y’all I thought u were lying but u might have a point, I might actually know how to write……. There were definitely some parts that I think could’ve gone better but overall I’m kinda surprised at the quality of Convenience especially. Also I was initially worried that the ADHD!Lance wasn’t gonna be evident enough without me explicitly stating it and I’m here to say to past me… his adhd is basically a slap in the face lmao we gucci

Goodness and that fucking scene will haunt my nightmares. It had zero point apart from (1) sharpshooter Lance and (2) that line. I didn’t even mention the gun again after that scene, it was literally entirely for the benefit of thirsty Keith (and thirsty flower anon now ig. This is what I mean when I say significance comes from author intent and audience interpretation. Flower anon out here saving my life and my writer reputation)

#sidenote I hope that photo is actually bigger than it looks istg I saved it as a larger image than it's showing to be #I think an essential part of the ace experience is sentences that start as 'I'm ace as fuck but'#the unfortunate truth is people be hot sometimes #flower anon #Anonymous #demandez la squelette #convenience fanfic #brother how we found takashi fanfic

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turtle-steverogers · 6 years ago

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Departed Chap 4 Pt. 1

This is a long chapter so it’s going in two parts YEET

Ship: Slow burn Sprace

Warnings: None for this chapter yet?? But pt. 2 oof

It was 10:30 am by the time Spot was fully awake the next morning. Race was still asleep, his arm draped lazily across Spot’s stomach. For the moment, Spot decided to ignore the warm feeling that their closeness gave him, he’d deal with that later. As of right now, he had to get ready for the class he was instructing at the Tae Kwon Do studio at 11:15. He allowed himself two more minutes to lazily drink in the morning sunlight that shone across his bed, then carefully extracted himself from Race’s embrace and grabbed his uniform off of his desk chair.

Once he was dressed, he got to work cooking some scrambled eggs to eat before he left. A loud groan sounded from his bedroom and a few moments later, Race was dragging himself into the kitchen.

“Mornin’, Champ,” Spot greeted, smirking at Race’s obviously hungover state.

“I never wanna even see eggnog ever again,” Race grumbled, slinking over to the medicine cabinet and pulling out some Advil, “Ya got any orange juice?”

“Yeah, in the fridge,” Spot said, taking the eggs off of the heat and transferring half to a plate, “Ya want any eggs?”

Race nodded and Spot pulled out another plate for him, dumping the second half of the eggs onto it. Race poured two glasses of the orange juice and the two of them ate in peace.

Spot rinsed off the dishes while Race scrolled through his phone.

“How long you at work for today?” Race asked.

“Just ‘til two, itsa short day cuz of winter break.”

“Cool. Al was wonderin’ if we wanted to go ice skating later, should I tell him we’re in?”

“Yeah, I’m down.”

“Aight, everyone’s meetin’ at five.”

“Okay, I gotta head out.,” Spot said, grabbing his keys off of the hook, “I’ll see ya ‘round two ish. Ya know where ta find me.”

“‘Kay, bye.”

XXX

By the time the last class rolled around, Spot was at his wits end. Winter break having just started for the kids meant that they were exceptionally unfocused today, especially with the promise of snow that weekend.

“Aight, class, Charyut!” Spot called to the orange and green belts he was teaching at the moment, “We’re just goin’ ta go through your combinations real fast. When we move past the orange belt combos, all orange belts start back at the first one while the green belts do theirs, got it?”

A chorus of ‘yes, sirs’ rang from the group and Spot silently thanked the gods that this was one of his more mature classes.

“Good. Turn to your left with a loud yell, joon bi!” The class did so and Spot began to lead them through their combinations, only having to stop every so often to help a lost kid catch up. Twenty minutes later, he bowed out the class and went to get the mop from the back. He glanced at the clock, which read 1:30, and sighed.

‘Thirty minutes left,’ he thought to himself, pulling out his phone to listen to music, ‘then I’m off for two weeks.’ He grimaced and got to work cleaning the studio.

“Spot, man, I can clean,” Spot pulled out his headphones to see Elmer, his fellow instructor, crossing the mat to join him, “You’ve cleaned the past two times, it’s my turn, anyway.”

“Ya sure?” Spot asked.

“Positive,” Elmer said, already reaching out to take the mop from Spot, “Head home, man, Happy Holidays.”

“You’re a blessin’, Elmer, seriously,” Spot smiled, “Thank ya, Happy Holidays.”

“‘Course, I’ll see ya ‘round man.”

Spot signed out and waved to Elmer once more before leaving and walking to his car. He got back to the apartment at exactly 1:50 and found Race playing Fortnite in the living room. His eyes flickered away from the screen for a split second to look at Spot before returning his focus solely to the game.

“You’re back, early.” He said, his tone distracted.

“Yeah, Elmer offered ta clean,” Spot said, chuckling lightly as Race stuck his tongue between his teeth to concentrate, “I was wonderin’ when ya’d invade my X-Box.”

“Oh hush up, I’m doin’ better than you apparently have been.”

“Whatever, I’ma shower,” Spot said, already tugging off his black belt.

“Yeah, please do, you smell like feet- even from here.”

“Fuck you.”

“Only in ya dreams, Spottie-boy.”

By the time Spot got out of the shower, Race was in the kitchen hovering over the stove.

“Dude, ya don’t gotta cook anythin’,” Spot said, lazily towelling off his still damp hair, “We still have leftover lasagna and meatballs.”

“I know, but I saw this recipe for mac and cheese grilled cheese and ta hell if m’not trying it.”

Spot laughed, “Aight, just don’t make yourself sick.”

Race just shrugged as he pulled every kind of cheese that Spot owned out of the fridge, “Can’t make me any sicker than that goddamned eggnog from last night.” He said, squinting at the expiration date on some parmesan.

“Oh yeah, speakin’ of last night,” Spot said, tossing the towel over his shoulder and sitting at the kitchen counter, “How much d’you remember?”

Race stopped pulling out ingredients for a moment, furrowing his brows in thought, “Not much after I had summa Al’s weed. Why? Did I do somethin’ stupid?”

Spot hesitated, “You brought up Melissa.”

Race’s shoulders flinched slightly and he asked in a clipped tone, “Oh?”

“Yeah,” Spot bit his lip, trying to decide how to proceed through the conversation, “You, uh, told me about how she’d, uh, make you have sex-”

“Stop,” Race snapped, “Stop, I don’t wanna talk about this.”

“Race, you shouldn’t hafta handle this on your own. I-”

“Sean,” Race said, his voice dangerously low, “Stop talking.”

Spot nodded, “Alright, sorry.”

Race stood still for a moment before hastily shutting off the stove, “I’m not hungry anymore.” With that, he stalked out of the room. A second later, Spot could hear the bathroom fan turn on.

Spot sighed and got to work putting away all the ingredients and pots that Race had pulled out. It was obvious that Race wasn’t handling this whole ordeal as well as he had let on. He wanted to help him sort through it, but he couldn’t if Race refused to talk about it.

‘Oh well,’ He thought to himself, ‘I’ll let him come to me when he’s ready.’ He glanced at the clock. It was 2:30, which meant that they had about two hours before they had to head out to meet the others at the ice rink.

Race was evidently still camping in the bathroom, so Spot decided to go check on him.

He knocked lightly at the door, “Racer? You good?”

The door opened and Race pushed past Spot, his eyes obviously bloodshot.

“Yeah,” He called over his shoulder,“I’ma take a nap, wake me up when we gotta go.”

Spot felt worry itch at the back of his neck, but it was clear that Race wanted to be left alone, “Alright, I’m gonna do some grocery shopping, you want anything in particular?”

“No.”

Taking that as his cue to leave Race alone, Spot grabbed his keys off his hook and exited the apartment.

Although Race hadn’t asked for anything, Spot decided to pick him up a box of Honey Bunches of Oats. He figured he may as well get Race’s favorite if he was going to stay there for a while.

When he got back, he found Race fast asleep on his air mattress. It was still about an hour until they had to leave, so after putting away the groceries, Spot flipped on the TV and pulled up Netflix. He had just finished an episode of Breaking Bad whe Race stirred from across the room.

“What time’s it?” He mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“4:30, we should leave in fifteen minutes if we wanna get there by five.”

“Okay, I’ma jus’ change and freshen up real fast.”

Spot turned off the TV as Race made his way to the bathroom and pulled himself off the couch to grab a jacket and thicker socks to wear to the ice rink. When he got to his room, he found Race digging through his duffel with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

Spot scoffed, “What’re ya doin’?”

Race looked up at Spot, a bit of toothpaste smudged on his chin. He reached up and plucked the toothbrush out of his mouth, “M’lookin’ for my hat and gloves, but I think I left it back at my-uh..other place.”

“Here, jus’ borrow some of mine,” Spot suggested, strolling over to his closet and picking a blue winter hat and matching gloves out of a bin. He crossed the room to Race and placed the hat on his head.

“There,” Spot smiled, “Looks cute on ya.”

Spot froze, realizing that he had just called Race cute, but Race just smiled around the toothbrush, which was back in his mouth, “Thanks.”

“Uh..no problem.” Spot said, watching as Race stood up and went to the bathroom to rinse. He shook his head lightly- what was getting into him? First they had cuddled through the night before and now he was calling Race cute? Did he even have a right to do that since Race and Melissa were technically still in a relationship? Though he wasn’t entirely sure it was a relationship anymore, but they had never explicitly broken up. Beyond that, since when did Spot think about Race that way? Since when did-

“Spottie-boy, ya good?” Race said, effectively breaking Spot out of his thoughts, “You have the same look on your face thatcha have when you’re tryna do math.”

Spot scrunched his nose, “M’good, ya ready to roll?”

Race nodded and the two of them put on their jackets, hats, and gloves before leaving the apartment and walking down to Spot’s car.

TAG LIST: @bencookisagod @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable @aw-jus-let-em-spook @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @thatpoorguysheadisspinning @newsies-of-nyc @andthewoildwillknow

#spot conlon #racetrack higgins #sprace #newsies #newsies fic #departed

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threeracha · 7 years ago

Text

random tags!

tagged by: @hyuunjins ! thanks gf

1) 5 favorite groups?

stray kids

loona

nct (dream is my fav unit tho LMAO SOFLSDKJF)

a.c.e

ikon

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

hu zhibang

kim jiwoo

kim byeongkwan

kim jinhwan

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

uh well AT THE MOMENT stray kids have my HEART but a.c.e, nct, and loona r like HELLALLALLAA UP THERE

i love stray kids bc......idk...........cAN ANYONE REALLY EXPLAINLOVE ;_____; their style of music drew me in it was super DIFF and idk i think whats most attractive to me is work ethic???? they all work hard evidently and i found that :( super :( admirable :(

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

i ult kim byeongkwan and hwang hyunjin 💗💘💓

i loVE kim byeongkwan sO MUCH he’s sos os sososoos hilarious but like in an incredibly stupid way like ijust want to shoVE HIM ACROSS THE WORLD BUT HE ALR IS BUT HES SO ANNOYING I LOVE HIM :( and i love how he can dance, sing, and rap ALL REALLY WELL and his dancing is my fav like :( his style is super CRY to watch u kno u kno

and i LOVE hwang hyunjin for PRETTY MUCH THE SAME REASON LIKE LKSFLSKDFJ his humor is prob more like me tho irl im kinda HELLA BITCHY but in a (O U KNO I LOVE U) way u kno? and hyunjin seems to do that kinda teasing too which is <333 and and and he’s also really shy like asc hyunjin.......LMAOOOOOOOO my heart was THROBBING FOR HI M HES SO SWEET!! + his dancing is hella smooth & he looks so happy when he gets to dance <3 ugh yall my heart jUST HURTS writing all this ive NEVER SAID ALL THESE NICE THINGS ALL AT ONE TIME BEFORE WHY AM I ABT TO SOBBB

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

anything predebut park woojin is literal Gold

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

and i love when byeongkwan wears pink LSKDJFLSKDJF + his hair style /color here is super cute :~~~)

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

loona (kim lip) - eclipse

unb - only one

monsta x - dramamama

nct dream - go

red velvet - bad boy

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

I HAVE A LOT MORE THIS IS ONLY A FEW :’((

only one - unb THIS SONG IS SO ;______; u kno

shine - pentagon OMG tbh wooseok singing the chorus is srsly the KILLING part for me i love his voice :(

rosy - loona (heejin, gowon, olivia)

bad boy (cover) - jooyoung ( IJUST HEARD THIS TODAY AND I INSTANTLY DIIIIIIIIIIED ) & I LOVE TH E ORIGNIAL DOES IT COUNT AS ONE

like this - pentagon

love tint - hyeongseop euiwoong

갖고 싶어 - wanna one

love scenario - ikon

third eye - stray kids

your name - wanna one

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

GOODAYOQUEEN”S CHANNEL ANYTHING NCT IS SO FUNNY

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

@hyuunjins

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

stray kids is most LMAO i barely post but i swear this is as active as i can gET

then a.c.e after

& tryna post nct n loona but ;;;; i get lazy LMAOSFLDKFJ

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

F(riendly convo with) - hu zhibang <3

M - hyunjin !!!

K - byeongkwan LMAOOOOOOO omg but like only in a joking way ...

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

omg I WOULD LOVE TO BE BFFS WITH HAECHAN AND LUCAS AND CHENLE LSDKFLSDFJLSKDJF theyre all so weird could u 🗣imagine🗣 BUT ALSO HASEUL AND JOOE MY WITTY QUEENS

14) If you could date any idol, who?

i think kim jungwoo is like IDEAL boyf material hes so soft and makes rlly lame jokes but ye he soft :( also hwang minhyun :( the most Perfect man ever

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

pentagon’s recent positive album is super BOPPIN

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

neither LMAO well im not sure what a hard stan is but like LSKDFLSKDJF IM DEF NOT SOFT ALL THE TIME YIKES

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

JUNGWOO he’s a sucha SOFT

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

HYUNJIN ! LUCAS ! NEEDA STOP !!!!

19) Favorite vocalist?

kim jungwoo ;; honey vocals Extreme

20) Favorite Rapper?

i dont think u can ever go wrong w sik-k !

21) Favorite dancer?

omg’s yooa and ace’s byeongkwan ::))

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

hyunjin: LIKE I MENTIONED we b teaSIN ppl but also heLLA SHY LSDkjflKSDJF OMG but diff: he makes it CUTE ;;;;

byeongkwan: UHHHH prob bc we both are hella annoyin and dumb LMAO but again DIFF: I MAKE THESE FEATURES UGLY

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

WORK ETHIC!!!AND MORALS??? like IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN BUT LSKDFJLSKJDFLKSJDF hate when idols r problematic abt certain issues LSKDJFLSKFJ:SDK:SDF:SKDF:SDKF:SLDKF:SKDF: not to shade or anyth LMAOOOOO 👀

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

NCT BOSS n GO n STRAY KIDS DISTRICT 9 n PTG SHINE LATELY LKDSjfLSKDJF also basically anything shinee LKSLSDKJFLKSJF

25) Your worst wrecker?

choi chanhee from the boyz :( + basically ALL OF NCT LKSJFLKJSF + CHUUUUUUUU (well .... she is wrecker turned bias lMOAOAO)

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

once kpop groups rememberwhere the middle of nowhere in the US is,,, perhaps,, but not yet rip :( wanna one is coming like 3 hrs from where i live...idk if i’ll have my life savings gathered for it in time

27) Favorite choreo?

LMAO twice’s likey is the only choreo ive ever rllylearned and its really fun tbh LSKDJFLKSJDF

28) Favorite live performance?

WANNA ONE LA DOLCE VITA ITS SO GREASY N SLEEZY ITS AMAZIGN LSKJDFLSJDF

29) Favorite debut mv?

boy - the boyz omg i had a tbz blog predebut and was D ED at debut

30) Recommend a rookie group

stray kids!!!!! loona!!!!

31.) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

love scenario - ikon (tbh me since this song was released tho SLDKJFLSKF) also 갖고 싶어 - wanna one <33

32) Tag some cute mutuals you’d like to get to know better (and to do this challenge)!

@himeaegyo @realstraykids @felixeslee @kimwoojin @reosian @thestraykid @hyunnlix @hyunsungg @bangchant @nuwuest

#tg:done #god this was so long but why cant i finish my hwk the rate idid for this

18 notes · View notes

wrestlewriting · 7 years ago

Text

Be Here Now, Pt. 2 [Adam Cole]

Title: Be Here Now, Part Two of ? Be Here Now Part one. (This is the sequel to Insolence. To read Insolence (which is recommended) here you go: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine,Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve) Characters: Adam Cole/Brenna(OC) Genre: Angst. Drama. Romance. Length: ~4,900 Warnings: All the cussin’. Summary/Inspo: What if I fall? I won't let you fall. What if I cry? I'll never make you cry. And if I get scared? I'll hold you tighter. When they're tryna get to you baby, I'll be the fighter.

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~

It’s been a while so this is the old taglist with some new addons. But if you want on or off, let me know!

@running-ropes @chasingeverybreakingwave @thegenericluchadora @wrestlingismyguiltypleasure @theprestigious0ne @alexahood21 @castielscamander @cosmicswimming @spine-buster @crookedmoonsaultpunk @morgunsilver @wrasslin-rollins @imnobodiesbitch @morgancorbin @reigningambrollins @bbmbabe @tyferbebe @allhailthe-demonking @rebelfleur22 @alynevelludo2 @im-indestructible @heelstarla @sixdegreesofsamson @vixxyvampire @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @pjanina13 @bolieve-that @sleeplessandcynical @nopeitsnat @superkixbaybay @thedeboniardevistation @bulletbaybay @msgem @karleedaniels27 @heeltothequeen @noscetiipsum @nonnirenea @demonskingslayer @shuten-d0ji

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~

Philadelphia and The Arena always had a special feel to it when it came to Ring of Honor. The city was the birthplace of the promotion yes, but it was also the city that always had open arms for the indy wrestling business.

The feeling of tonight though was something else, at least backstage.

Brenna had thought the previous show was electric, but tonight’s felt heavier than that.

Today was Adam’s last with Ring of Honor. His last TV taping, his last time in an ROH ring for who knew how long, maybe forever. His last night as a contracted wrestler for any company. That was only temporary, she knew, but it was still something. The PPV and leaving Bullet Club had been one thing, but Adam was walking away from a sure thing in his career entirely tonight.

While Adam was in talks with places, talks could always go wrong, and that could change his projected career path. But after tonight, he was a free agent, and he seemed excited about that actually. Having some time to truly do as he pleased, it was something he hadn’t had in years. There was an endpoint in sight, but it wasn’t set in stone. So for now, it was a chance to rest, recharge, rediscover his passion. Spend time with her, which she selfishly was going to demand the most of.

“So, what’s on your agenda for the night?” Nick inquired, bringing Brenna’s attention back to the table of her friends.

“Dark match for the second taping, then announcing the last two shows,” she answered before picking up her drink and taking a long gulp of water. “You guys are all coming to the house after right?”

Both Bucks nodded, as Adam sat back down at the table, having been off talking to someone in production.

It had been Adam’s idea to have a party at his house after the show. He had said he had two reasons for it: one, an opportunity to have everyone together one last time, and two, a way to put a positive spin on his last night so it wasn’t so bogged down in emotion.

For Brenna, it had only brought her stress. She was a planner, and she’d been running around crazy on their day off yesterday to get everything she felt they’d need for the occasion. Food, drinks, flatware, ice…. Adam deserved the best kind of sendoff, and she was going to do all she could to make it happen.

There was a good chance some of his family members were at his place right this moment, setting up, and putting up some decorations she’d gotten for the occasion. Adam had no idea about this, and she was hoping his brother had kept it that way. He was the most likely candidate to slip up.

“Try not to destroy my house tonight,” Adam requested of his friends as he joined the conversation. The Bucks barely reacted, whereas Marty laughed outright. Adam raised his eyebrows at this.

“I guess I’ll be in charge of good ol’ Party Boy here,” Brenna decided, nodding in Marty’s direction.

“I would be honored,” he replied, causing her to laugh.

Tonight was going to be a lot of things, a lot to work through, but as long as Brenna had the people at this table with her, and many others that were wandering around, everything would be fine.

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~

Adam found himself standing in the gorilla area of the arena, his eyes focused on the monitor on the table. The Women of Honor match on the second show taping of the night wasn’t going to be televised, but it was happening in the arena.

And his girlfriend, for all her underrated talent and lack of mainstream exposure, was a big part of this match.

It was a tag affair, with Brenna taking on the tough baby-faced role, a role he hadn’t played in a long time. But she was so good at it, better than he ever was. She had a way about her in the ring, and equally, outside of it, that just drew people to her, made people support and believe in her, made people want to know her. Made people seek comfort from her, an opinion, an honest ear.

He had always felt he had a lot to learn from her, though he’d never told her as much.

He really should.

Watching as she did a perfect spinning roundhouse kick to her opponent made his chest swell with pride. That was his girlfriend out there kicking ass.

His girlfriend, who’d he see much less of in the ring live going forward. His girlfriend, who’d he’d see much less of period going forward most likely.

Even though there were no contracts signed at that moment, it was no secret what would probably happen within the next couple months with his career. He was hopeful, honestly, that things would stay on the path they were already on. But that meant it was unlikely he’d still be based in Pennsylvania.

Adam knew his decisions for his own career directly impacted her. For all her support and deflective statements, he knew that what he was doing mattered to Brenna. She could spend all day, until she was out of breath, telling him how much she only wanted the best for him, and he would still have his doubts. Not doubts about the fact she wanted the best for him, no, he trusted that. But that it was the only thing that mattered to her, that he didn’t believe.

He knew that if the roles were reversed, and he was staying on the indy scene for a long time and she was going off to do as she pleased, he would not be so calm and collected about it. They had gone through too much struggle, too much bullshit, for him to just say ‘OK, yep, you do that, and we’ll figure it out’. He needed her close.

Why was he leaving her then? Not leaving her, but he was putting a wrench in their lives and plans. Creating a less consistent contact for them to have. This was solely on him to be changing their lives. He felt selfish…because he was being selfish. He knew he had the right to advance his career, do what he saw fit for himself but still….

This wasn’t the first time he’d put wrestling above other things, and it probably wouldn’t the last. It wasn’t that other things didn’t matter or affect him. He just had such a drive for his career that it had always been a hard balance to make with other parts of his life, like family and relationships. Though, in fairness, he used to be a lot more reckless and self-seeking than he was being now. Before, he would have done what he thought was best for himself in the ring without any thought elsewhere. Before, he had let relationships in his life deteriorate as he chased his dreams.

Now, he wanted to know Brenna was OK with how things were, had to have her at least OK with things before he could advance with his ideas.

As he watched her get tagged in again, and immediately throw several elbows at her opponent, he started to think about what her life would be like with him gone.

He would be remiss if he didn’t acknowledge his eyes stinging a bit, as his thoughts ran away from him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Brenna, or trust her position in their relationship. It was everyone else, life, the things that could happen to her or around her when he wasn’t there that worried him the most. For as much as he knew and respected her strength, he was still her boyfriend, and he had a place in protecting her and being close to support her at all times. He was really failing in that way by doing what he was.

Brenna was entirely capable of taking care of herself though, and he knew that. What if his being far away more than close-by made her realize how little she really needed him?

Getting Brenna to trust him, be with him, understand he only wanted to be good for her, had taken a lot of time. Would his leaving so soon in their relationship change her opinion of him?

He had worked so hard to make his feelings known to her, believed by her. When it came down to it, he was the reason someone she had once called upon in times of trouble was now the source of her trouble. That said a lot. Who was he to bail on her just when things were starting to settle and make sense and bring them both calm?

She had been through a big and tough loss, an unfortunate catalyst to their current status, if he was being honest. But he had told himself way back when he’d never hurt her if he could help it, would do anything he could to keep her happy. Leaving this company, this part of his life, it wasn’t making her happy, no matter what front she was putting up.

He hated himself at that moment. She didn’t deserve another big change to adjust to.

“Hey, don’t you have to get ready for your match?” Cody’s voice startled Adam. He hoped the man didn’t notice him taking a shaky breath, and blinking a few times, before looking towards him.

“You see any of this?” Adam questioned as a deflection, indicating with his head the match still going on.

“Not really. Bren doing alright?”

“She’s amazing, man,” he answered, his eyes already back on the small screen. He tried not to grin too stupidly as Brenna and her partner double-teamed their opponent, getting a near-fall.

“She has been for a long time,” Cody stated. “Brandi asked her to help her in the ring a bit, I think.”

“That would be good,” Adam said, only turning back to his groupmate when the ref was raising Brenna’s hand with her partner’s. When he faced Cody, he found the other man looking at him, almost curiously, though his face was fairly flat in appearance overall. “…what?”

“You sure about leaving her?”

“I’m not leaving her. We’re just…changing how things are.”

“Right,” Cody said, sounding entirely like he doubted Adam’s words. “Look, man, I’m not one to tell anyone how to live their life. Do what makes you happy. But it’s a lot harder being with WWE day in and day out, and it takes a bigger toll than you know. On you, on everyone around you. You’ve got a good thing with Bren. I don’t know that much, but I know that. Not being in the same place as her…especially with where you’re probably gonna land, it’s gonna be really tough. Just…keep that in mind, OK?”

Adam wanted to tell Cody he hadn’t signed a contract with WWE yet, so what did it matter in the grand scheme of things? Everything was hypothetical. But, he also recognized Cody had been down that road, been beaten up on that road. And Brandi had very famously followed her husband away from that place, showing the epitome of commitment to one’s significant other. He understood where Cody was coming from. He was just trying to save Adam from some struggle at best, and heartache at worst.

But couldn’t it work the other way too? What if Brenna eventually came to WWE too, if that was where Adam did go? What if this change made them stronger, any distance reaffirming their need for one another? What if Brenna famously followed him into something new and fun for both of them?

Anything was possible.

“Yea, I hear ya,” Adam finally responded, choosing to not further the conversation in any capacity, and simply accept the other man’s words. Cody nodded after a moment, before turning to walk down the hallway.

Adam decided to leave the gorilla area before Brenna made it backstage from the ring. He would rather see her later when he could be entirely focused on her, like she deserved. For now, he needed to go get ready for his own last hurrah. And if he was being truthful with himself, he wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t openly cry the second she was in his arms at this moment.

It was better to wait to see her.

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~

The party was in full swing at Adam’s house in no time. Food was being continually made, all of the wrestlers needing a post-show meal. Drinks were flowing, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Adam found himself always having someone to talk to, everyone wanting a chance to wish him well and have a laugh with him about some of his finer moments over the years.

He had found it easier to walk out of the arena earlier tonight than he had anticipated. It was hard, of course, but having done the big things on the PPV two days prior had taken away some of the sting of the situation. Honestly, he couldn’t have asked for a better ending to his current Ring of Honor career. The last match he’d done, a dark street fight against Marty, with the Bucks ringside, had felt right. Felt true to the story. Felt like he was leaving a legacy in a way with the company and The Bullet Club.

Of course, he still had other indy shows to tackle, and it was likely that the PWG show this upcoming weekend would bring another big wave of emotion to handle.

For now, though, he was really enjoying getting to share a beer with Cary, a father-figure in a lot of ways, and laugh over his Panama Playboy gimmick from yesteryear.

When the conversation had run its natural course, Adam did a lap to make sure everyone was getting on well and had what they needed. He went over to where the drinks were in various buckets and coolers on the side of the house, checking the situation. Some of them needed more ice, and he set about doing this.

“Hey.” Adam looked over his shoulder, realizing that the voice he’d thought was Jay’s…was, in fact, Jay’s. The older Briscoe was standing a few feet from him, hands shoved into his hoodie front pocket.

“…hey.” Adam had not at all expected to see either of the brothers at his house that night for the gathering. While he had extended the invitation to everyone in the back, he hadn’t anticipated his least-favorite-coworkers to show. He was immediately on guard.

“Need any help?”

“…I’ve got it,” Adam answered, dumping the ice bag into the cooler over top the beers he’d placed in there a few moments ago. He figured Jay must have been watching him to see when he didn’t have others around him, making it safe to approach.

Jay Briscoe was not dumb, no matter what kind of portrayal he put out of himself publicly.

“Look, I know we ain’t… I’m not your biggest fan, and you ain’t mine,” Jay stated. “But we got Bren in common. And…. We gotta do right by her.”

“That’s all I’ve been doing,” Adam responded tightly, crumpling up the now empty plastic bag and tossing it into the nearby trash bag.

“For now.”

“Fuck you.” There was no hesitation in his response, as he turned to fully face the other man. Jay wasn’t much bigger than Adam, maybe a bit broader in the shoulders, but that was about it. He wasn’t whatsoever intimated by the other man, especially knowing he was the one in the right.

“Fuck you, too,” Jay retorted with no reluctance himself. “You came outta nowhere, thinking you had any right to be involved in our family, and you didn’t. No one, no one, thinks it’s OK how you got with Bren.”

“…and what? You wanted me to what? Ask for your permission to date her? What are you, from the fucking Stone Age? Brenna is a human. She can make her own decisions.”

“She was messed up, going through some really tough shit, and you…you of all fucking people….” Jay just glared at the less-tattooed man, not finishing his thought.

“What? What did I of all fucking people do? Comfort her? Make her feel safe? Take care of her? Love her? I’m not fucking sorry.”

The silence that followed the moment allowed Adam to fully take stock of what he’d said.

Love.

Did he love Brenna?

They’d only been together really a couple months. Things had been entirely sideways in their relationship only a couple months before then. Despite how much she’d meant to him, and how poorly he’d went about handling those feelings, it was still a relationship in infancy. It was a bit soon for love, wasn’t it?

Was he just trying to get the better of Jay by saying it?

Fuck.

Brenna. She was…everything good he’d ever understood, that was true. She didn’t deserve to be a sticking point in an argument, a petty argument at that.

Jay seemed to just as much realize the declaration the younger man had made. And was just as quiet in response to it.

It was better to ignore the situation.

“Listen. If you just came here to start shit, then don’t bother, and leave. This bullshit isn’t going to make any of us better, and I’m not about to let Bren have to deal with it anymore.” Adam’s assertion was made in a fierce tone, a tone that Jay had honestly only heard once before. The time when he’d confronted Adam in a parking lot.

“No, you listen. That’s not… I’m not here for this back and forth bullshit,” Jay admitted, some of his intensity dissipating. He hadn’t come here for a fight, and he needed to remember that. He needed to make his original goal his mission.

“I just… you’re gonna be gone right?” Adam nodded briefly in agreement. “Then, I want Bren to know… With you not around as much, I wanna make sure she’s taken care of.”

“She’ll be fine. She has friends.”

It was clear what Adam was saying with emphasis on the last word, and both knew that. Friends. Friends that weren’t Jay. Friends that cared for her and didn’t judge her. Friends that wanted the best for her without question. Friends that didn’t start fights with her. Friends that accepted their relationship.

“I’m not sorry for being worried about her being with you. I ain’t ever gonna apologize for that,” Jay declared. “But…Bren…she’s headstrong, always has been. I know that and I gotta accept that. Appreciate that. So…I don’t…my history with her, it isn’t gone, and it’ll never be gone. I don’t have to be happy with her, but I can’t forget her.”

“Well you’ve done a pretty damn good job of forgetting her these last couple months,” Adam pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest. “She hasn’t once mentioned you, or you reaching out to make things better.”

“Two-way street, buddy.”

“What did you want from her, huh? To come crawling back to you, tell you she was sorry she was with me and you were right? You just fucking told me you respect her being strong. That strength isn’t just when you like it. Her strength right now is in refusing to let you control her and change her mind on something she believes in. And I’m glad that something is me.”

Adam watched as Jay became tenser, and squared his own shoulders in response. If this verbal disagreement was about to turn into a physical one, he was ready.

“…I hope you’re not this much of a prick to her,” Jay stated.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” Adam glared at the other man as he spoke. This conversation was over as far as he was concerned. While Jay had approached him with the best of intentions seemingly, it was clear he was still not over his own issues and bullshit opinions. Adam was tired of this conversation, and he had no desire to have Brenna have to deal with anything Jay Briscoe tonight either. “I said, get out. Go!”

“No,” Jay refused, crossing his own arms over his chest. “I am not leaving here until you understand where I’m coming from.”

“OH? It seems you’re coming from the place of being the fucking douche you’ve been being for a while. Brenna is better than this petty shit you’re throwing at us. She doesn’t need it or want it or deserve it. And I will NOT let you upset her tonight with this bullshit.” Adam paused for a moment, restraining himself from taking a step closer to the other man. “I will remove you from my house if I have to.”

Jay didn’t respond for a beat, instead cocking his head ever so much as he looked at Adam.

Adam waited for his next move, fully ready to fulfill his declarations and drag the man from the premises if had to. He knew he’d have backup in the matter if needed.

“…do me a favor,” Jay posed. “All this hate and anger, all this passion you have for Brenna’s wellbeing, don’t ever lose it.”

That was very much the last thing Adam expected to hear from Jay right then.

And Jay sticking out his hand for a shake, that was the last thing Adam expected to see.

“Be good to her. And I’ll make sure to do the same when you’re gone.”

It still didn’t seem real, and if questioned about it, Adam wouldn’t be able to explain why he slowly extended his own hand to take the other. Part of him just wanted the situation to be over, but another part of him….

He stayed on guard through the action, half-expecting Jay to pull him in and try to punch him still. Instead, Jay shook his hand, and then turned and walked away without further words.

Adam was still for a second, watching the retreating back of the elder Briscoe, before grabbing a beer from the nearby cooler.

He needed it.

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~

Brenna was thoroughly enjoying her night. She was currently nursing a liquor drink and laughing with Corino and Kaz as they told her some ‘baby Adam’ stories she’d never heard before. She didn’t know where her significant other was at that moment, but she hoped he stayed away so she could continue to get blackmail material.

Eventually, she couldn’t ignore the chill that was starting to run through her body. Apparently, the long sleeve she was in, wasn’t enough, and she needed another layer. She excused herself from her friends, heading into the house and down to the bedroom. Digging around in Adam’s things, she took out one of his zip-ups and pulled it on, relishing in its size and Adam-ness.

When she came back down the hallway and into the kitchen, she came face to face with someone she had not expected to see.

“What are you doing here?”

“Shit, it’s good to see you too,” Jay replied, his eyes scanning over her, taking in her full appearance. Brenna tightened her hand at her side, trying to remember to not crush her cup in her other hand.

“Can’t say the same,” she snidely retorted. Brenna brushed passed him, heading back out the door into the backyard. She heard him follow after her.

“Yikes,” he stated, as he was able to use his much longer stride to pass by her. Brenna stopped walking as he stood in front of her, not really giving her a choice in her actions. “When did you get so callous?”

“Callous? Did someone buy you a thesaurus recently?” His jaw tightened and shifted. Brenna held her gaze with his, trying to keep her back as straight as she could. “Jay, if you’re here to cause shit, then just leave. Go. What’s happened is done and nothing’s changed.”

“I dunno bout that,” he said, causing her eyebrows to draw down ever so slightly. “Come on bug, just hear me out.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“A’ight, fine. Brenna, hear me out.” It took everything in her to not lash out at him. She rolled her shoulders back, before giving a small nod of her head. “I talked to Cole a little while ago.”

Her immediate thought was: bullshit. Except Jay looked entirely serious.

“You know, you’re gonna be out on the road, and he’s not. That ain’t gonna be easy.”

“You don’t say,” was her sarcastic response.

“Will you just fucking stop and listen to me?” She reluctantly bit back another retort. “Man, you’ve got this idea that you’re the only one who isn’t happy with how shit is, and you’re wrong. I get it, OK? We’re on bad terms. Shit, you think Mandy hasn’t been at me constantly over this?”

Hearing that his wife was unhappy with their situation was bittersweet. She had considered the woman a friend as well, and suddenly she realized in cutting out Jay she’d cut his better half out too, which was no fault of Mandy’s. Brenna had felt justified in this until now. Now she felt a bit bad, honestly.

“I get it, alright? I have to let you do what you want to do. But I don’t have to be happy about it.”

“You can be unhappy, but you don’t have to be a dick about it. You have no right to hate me for trying to be happy.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate what you’re doing.”

“OK. Sure. Because that distinction has been made oh so clear?” Brenna rolled her eyes. “Jay, I don’t wanna do this again. I can’t. So just…say what you feel you have to and leave me alone.”

“…do you know what I did after you called me to tell me Evan was gone?”

This was not the turn in the conversation Brenna saw coming. It wasn’t something she ever expected to talk about with Jay ever, honestly. All she could do in response was barely shrug.

“I cried,” he admitted.

Brenna didn’t know what to do with that information.

“You were so…I’d never heard you so hurt before. And I knew I couldn’t do anything to change it. And he was my friend too, ya know? We had a lot of good nights all out together. But knowing you were…you were so broken up…it was a fucking nightmare for me. … Ev always trusted me to watch out for ya, and I couldn’t do anything for you then.”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” she decided. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“Yea, it fucking does.” Jay waited to make sure she wasn’t about to scamper off and away from him. “It matters because I don’t think you realize how much you mean to me. I ain’t out here acting like I am just for fun. I’m trying to watch out for you.”

“Well, that’s a nice sentiment, but what you’re actually doing is making things worse for me.”

“Yea, I got that, I guess.” Jay paused, sighing. “Do I fully trust Cole? Hell no. But I don’t not trust him a little bit either. It’s been a couple months, you seem good. But a couple months isn’t that long. He can still be who I know he’s capable of bein’.”

“You don’t have to trust him,” Brenna allowed. “But don’t you trust me?”

“I always did.”

“The only thing stopping you now is you then. Fuck Jay, this is my life, my choices. I think I’m making really good ones honestly. I feel…OK, again. The best I’ve felt in a while. Adam is a huge part of that. And if for some insane reason it goes sour, then, that was my mistake to make.”

“I know… Look, this doesn’t fix it all, I know that. I said some stuff to Adam tonight too, just wanted to try to make the peace I guess. Just…when we’re out on the road, don’t… I’m around if you need something, a’ight?”

That was a Jay Briscoe apology if she ever heard one.

“…yea, alright.”

It was a shaky truce at best, and they both knew that. Time would be necessary to heal these wounds. But it seemed at least they were both willing to work through it out for now.

“Bug, I mean that,” Jay reiterated. “I’m not just…. You’re in for a lot, and I don’t…I want you to know you’re not just… It’ll be OK, OK?”

Brenna took some type of pleasure in watching Jay stumble over his words, struggle to convey what he was trying to mean.

“I knew that…before you said it,” she replied. “Momma ain’t raised no weakling.”

“No, that she certainly didn’t,” he laughed in agreement.

Brenna smiled at his laugh, feeling just the tiniest bit lighter. While Jay had a lot of ground to cover with her as far as getting her to trust and want him around again, it was a nice start to redemption for her.

Looking across the yard, her eyes caught Adam’s, as he stood talking with Matt and Nick. He looked thoroughly concerned but was clearly keeping himself from storming over to the pair. As a means to settle her clearly agitated boyfriend, she winked and smiled a bit.

Things were looking better, but what she really wanted to know was what Jay had said to Adam earlier. That would really matter in her outlook and future decisions.

What if I was made for you and you were made for me? What if this is it, what if it’s meant to be? What if I ain’t one of them fools just playin’ some game? What if I just pulled you close, what if I leaned in, And the stars line up and it’s our last first kiss? What if one of these days baby I’d go and change your name? What if I loved all these what ifs away?

~--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~

HOLY SHIT. If you just read this, I am amazed. This chapter has been the bane of my existence for months. I have never labored and fretted over a chapter so much before. THANK YOU to everyone that’s stuck it out with me. Thank you to my incomparable crew @allhailthe-demonking @chasingeverybreakingwave @thegenericluchadora @running-ropes and ESPECIALLY @spine-buster for the HOURS of brainstorming/plotting/whining/complaining/comforting/supporting/proofreading/pushing-me-to-keep-going. Here is hugely to hoping the next part doesn’t take 7 months to come out (it won’t).

#adam cole fan fiction #wwe fan fiction #wrestling fan fic #wwe imagine #wrestling imagine #adam cole imagine #be here now #insolence redux #wwe fanfic #wwe fan fic #wrestling fanfic #adam cole fanfic

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jaemya · 7 years ago

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mark lee x black reader highschool au

(reader is female)

being in the same history and english classes and since the two teachers decided to pair up for a semester long project, there’s a bunch of group work that needs to be done

becoming partners through this with 3 other people

you guys are really the ones pulling the weight of your group tbh

on the 2nd meeting, you mention that you guys should create a gc for the group so you guys can stay up to date

mark pulling you aside after the meeting is over and saying “hey we should probably talk amongst ourselves too since you know…we’re the only ones really working here”

you feel the heat rushing to your cheeks because he’s close and his voice is low and he has really pretty eyes (thank God you’re black otherwise your face would’ve looked like a cherry tomato) and what’d he say again?

the gc annoys you a lot because the other 3 classmates don’t really care about the material

going off on them with mark in your private chats together and he’s agreeing with you and pitching in himself

staying up late to text each other about the group and actually go over the class assignment

when one classmate accidentally leaves the gc you honestly ask mark if you should add them back or not since they are the Laziest member

mark just looks at you like “y/n….” and you know he means Yes so you add them

meeting up with mark in the school library after class when you’re both free and working on the project (to be fair sometimes your groupmates come along)

one friday while you guys are just quietly doing your own thing, you notice him watching a dance video and you get (overly) excited and grin widely, nudging him a bit

you tell him you love dancing and you’ve been doing it for years and his eyes light up and he’s like “really??”

you guys forget about the project and start talking about your favorite dancers and dance studios and favorite choreos

looking at each others’ playlists and giving each other song recs

when it’s time to go that day, you actually feel your heart pang and you get sad because it was so nice talking to him and you won’t see him till monday

he notices you look sad and asks if you wanna meet up for brunch tomorrow and ofc you say yes

you wake up at 7am by accident because you’re so excited the next day and you can’t go back to sleep so you just look through your closet tryna find a chic outfit that says “i don’t care what im wearing but i Care”

you doing your makeup and halfway through you realize…you don’t know where you’re going

frantically getting to your phone and just as you’re about to text him, he calls you. a Phone Call

at this point you’ve never spoken on the phone before, just texted, so you’re nervous to pick it up and you’re so tempted to just ignore until he leaves a voicemail

on the 4th ring you go “oh fuck it” and pick it up

he’s panting, clearly rushing somewhere, and saying “hey! hey sorry i didn’t tell you the address of where to meet, im just now getting off the bus from my student council meeting and rushing to the place ” and he gives you the address of where you’ll meet up

it’s not that far - tbh it’s walking distance from where you live, so you wrap up the phone call, finish your makeup, and decide to just walk out

as you’re walking to the small cafe, you wonder why you spent so much time getting ready for mark when you don’t like him…..i mean you don’t right? how could you? he’s just your classmate

you almost miss the cafe entirely but mark shouts your name, startling you, and you walk up to him on the steps of the small place

he tells you he just got there but he already ordered oolong tea, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a blueberry muffin for you

you’re kinda annoyed he already ordered - esp since he had only just gotten there 2 minutes before you - but you feel shy when he says “i remembered you said during a convo once you’re more of a tea person” because i mean…it was kinda sweet

but you also ask if he ordered for himself and when he says “no, not yet,” you grin and tell him you’ll order for him

he blinks three times but doesn’t stop you so you order an americano, eggs, and a slice of lemon cake for him

when you finally sit down, the conversation immediately picks up from yesterday at the library - as if you just put a pause on a show, got up to do something, came back, and pressed play

everything feels natural and real and light when you’re with him, your laughter’s joining together and almost sounding harmonious in this small, old cafe

after a little over an hour of talking, mark rubs his hand alongside his nape and stares at his empty cup, clearing his throat

you lean your arm over from across the table and nudge him and ask him what’s up

when he looks up at you, you can see the nervous look in his eyes and he clears his throat again

before you can say anything he blurts out, “do you wanna go on a date me with later? to the movies? or maybe tomorrow if you’re busy today. actually you don’t even have to go out with me i have no idea what-”

you cut him off with a laugh and “a movie later sounds nice”

both of you stare at each other for a little bit with smiles on both faces before seamlessly continuing your previous conversation

before leaving each other at 2, you make plans to see a movie in a couple hours and you’ll meet at the mall in downtown to pick one out (he offered to pay for tickets and why would you refuse?)

let’s just say . You guys are talkers.

after the movie, you both spend a good hour analyzing your favorite scenes and laughing about the funny moments together

whenever you reflect on the funny scenes, mark claps his hands together, eyes wide, and goes “yeah yeah that part!”w

you feel your heart race every time you make him laugh with one of your jokes and any time he makes you laugh

when you do finally part ways, mark insists on taking you back home and so you catch a bus together

the bus ride home is filled with a comforting quiet and you notice mark starts to doze off

his head slowly falls onto your shoulder and you smile

since he has the window seat and its 8oclock, the sun begins to set on his face

you place your hand over his eyes to shield him and you feel a sense of warmth shower over you

when it’s your stop, you wake him up and it takes a few nudges before he opens his eyes

he doesn’t even notice his head is on your shoulder until after he rubs his eyes and looks up at you

he jolts up, stuttering out an apology but you giggle and tell him it’s fine - he looked like he needed the short rest

he also insists on walking you to your door and on the way there, he looks around at your neighborhood, noting the similarities between his and yours

it isn’t until he actually reaches your door that he realizes …… he lives just about 5 minutes from you - right around the corner actually

when he tells this to you, your first thought is “that’s great! that means we can hang out a lot more” and you don’t even realize you said that out loud until you see mark’s face light up a bit - both with excitement and embarrasment

you suddenly want to run inside and scream into your pillow so you try to end the goodbyes right now but mark places his hand on yours and you suddenly feel like time stands still

okay yes, his hand is on yours, time is standing still, everything feels a bit cheesy but life can be cheesy yknow? and right now it was about as cheesy as your best friend’s favorite triple decker grilled cheese sandwich

mark just smiles at you and says, “y/n, i’d really like hang out with you more….outside of school i mean,”

you smile and nod and he lets go of your hand and you both say your goodnights and “see you”s and you walk inside

you rush to your room, quickly greeting your parents, and jump onto your bed before screaming into your pillow

your parents eye each other from the living room but they let you be

mark texts you not 10 minutes after and you both end up texting each other until 1am, sending each other funny memes and videos of dancers along with college options and rants about your teachers

everything always feels so natural and calm with mark. even when your heart’s racing with him, it feels safe and warm and you can’t believe you fell so fast

#mark #mark lee #nct #nct mark #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #mark scenarios #nct scenarios #mark lee scenario #mark oneshot #mark lee oneshot #nct oneshot #nct dream oneshot

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tylerwritez · 3 years ago

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Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m. sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad. But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking about random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

#JudeJournals #jude shepard #tumblr diary #journal

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