#so im having my emo little 'what if i never act again' spiral

[daydadahlias]

slaying?

<3

LOOK AT SILK SHIRT ASH!! i love this guy AND this cow.

[slvtforfiction]

Hi I think your request are open. 😭

Anyways I have a prompt where it’s like Jonnie meets a fan and like later on he kind stalks her media and accidentally likes something for an old emo phase and she dms him “??” And it just spirals from there into something cute?

An old phase,A new like

☆ Yesss!

☆ Love this,thank you anon x

☆ Sorry it’s so short

☆ Johnnie Guilbert X Reader

☆ Fluff

☆ If you are going to request: please check at the pinned post if requests are open,otherwise I will delete your requests which I have already been doing

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned post

“So today we are-“ I look down at my phone as a notification pushed past my do not disturb, Johnnie Guilbert like your photo.

I knew Johnnie,we had text back and forth for a while about doing a video idea even though we had never done it. I had met him at a convention and most likely acted like the biggest fan girl alive.

I clicked on the notification and saw that the like was a photo from 2020,almost 4 years ago.

You:

Liking photos from 2020,huh?

Johnnie:

Sorry didn’t mean to.

You:

Nooo it’s okay sorry lol

Johnnie:

Okay good lol,thought you were mad

You:

No,no lol

Johnnie:

So how are you?

2 weeks later,

“I’ll see you again next week? Maybe another date?” I ask with a schoolgirl smile on my face, “Yeah ofcourse,I’d love that.” He replied and I smiled,kissing his cheek.

We walked back to my apartment and watched a movie,cuddling up to each other and sharing some popcorn whilst we watched some shitty romcom. Neither of us cared about the movie,though neither of us would say it. We just enjoyed the comfort of each other.

Around nine o’clock Johnnie left,I was sad to see him go but I knew he had an apartment to sleep in so I couldn’t exactly keep him.

6 months later,

“Hey Johnnie!” I smile down the phone,we hadn’t hung out a lot this week but I didn’t mind,opting to sleep on call for the week instead.

“Hey love,you okay?” He asks me and I smile at the nickname, “Yeah,im okay,you?” I ask and I could almost hear his smile.

It was always nice to hear johnnies voice,it had become comforting over the past month or so,despite his energetic attitude. He always knew when it was time to settle down and he always knew what to say and how to say it. It made me envy those closest to him.

“So how was your day?”

1 year later,

“Happy 6 month anniversary!” He said as he hugged me,I smiled and kissed him as I grabbed some chocolates I had bought him.

He handed me some flowers and chocolate and I smiled, “Happy 6 months!” I smiled at him,my face beaming with excitement.

One phone call 6 months ago had led me to become infatuated with him,though I would be lying to say that I hadn’t had a small crush on him since I first text him.

We sat down on his sofa in his apartment and smiled as we put on the same shitty romcom that we always do,it had become our tradition and no one was complaining. As long as I got to snuggle up to the comfort of his chest I didn’t mind.

It had become apparent to both of us that we didn’t really care what we watched as long as we were with each other. I smiled as I snuggled into his chest,something that had become somewhat familiar with us. He snaked his hand around my waist and we sat their in comfortable silence as we admired each other.

2 years later,

“Happy one year!” I say as I wake up next to him in our apartment, “Happy one year.” He smiled at me,clearly as tired as he always was,I smiled at his goofy little smile and kissed him on the cheek.

“I got you something.” Johnnie whispers as he reaches into his draw,on the other side of the bed. He pulls out a ring box and I smile as he opens it, “I got us those Pandora promise rings you like.”He says with a smile. I sit up in bed and shimmy onto his lap pulling him into a deep hug. “Thank you Johnnie!” I almost yell as I kiss all over his face.

“Do you wanna be the moon or the sun?” I ask and he shakes his head “Whatever you want princess.” He chuckles and I immediately give him the moon ring. “Johnnie,we’re literally the sun and the moon.” I smile and he nods his head, “I love you so much,thank you!” I say happily and he smiles at me as he gives me a peck to the lips.

“I got you something too!” I say with a huge smile beaming across my face, I reach into my draw and pull out three wrapped presents. I feel like a parent watching their child open their presents with glee.

“Awh thank you baby!” He says pulling me back in for a hug and I smile,accepting the hug gratefully.

6 years later,

“I love you so much,I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else,Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?”

“Yes!!!”

[emo-gofdoom]

8/12/17

X,

Did you ever think that maybe it wasn’t me that changed? Like just for a minute, I want you to stop and consider this. My two best friends that’ve known me forever both told me that I haven’t changed at all. In fact the only thing different about me at the moment is that I’m currently in a lot of pain for a plethora of reasons. I’m still a dork, never was really funny. But “depressed but didn’t want others to see”? You’re the one that asked me to open up and be completely honest with you, and now you don’t like what you see. I feel like the person that changed, was you. You’ve had a change of perspective since who knows when and because of that, you see me differently. Usually, in cases like this people call it “falling out of love”. And honestly if me being in pain makes you like me at all less, it tells me that you probably never really loved me in the first place. People that leave when you’re in pain are called “fair weather friends” because they leave when its not all bright and sunny. I understand that it may be unfair of me to bring this up because you did in fact stick around through a fair bit and help me through a lot, but I need you to understand that the change you see in me is caused by you. When you break up with someone, even if you intend on staying friends with them, you need to give them some space, especially since you have a thing for emo boys, who generally take every little thing and overthink it. Second, its not okay to get drunk a week later and text me “Baaaaaaaaaaaabbee” and then act offended when I remind you that you broke up with me. That hurt. Alot. And lastly this bullshit about me changing when the only thing different about me is that I lost someone that I trusted. And thats only the stuff hurting me that involves you. Theres a shit ton more. But the people thatve been by my side for a long time, like X, have said that i’m still the same. This is probably because theyve seen me in pain before. To put it simply, if you really think being in pain changes who i am, and if it really affects your ability to be my friend, then thats fine. Because I don’t need a friend thats gonna decide their sick of me as soon as im in a bad emotional state. Especially when said person dumped me, then proceeded to “forget" she dumped me at the same time as talk to my best friend about how shes gotten over me and is moving on. On top of that because you lied to me so much both while we were and before we were dating, I already find it next to impossible to trust you. Everything  with you is secrets riddles and lies. So go ahead and be fed up with me. It’ll make it easier for me to mend this shitty broken heart. I wonder if you’ve heard of one?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

X,

I don’t know what you’re thinking anymore, and I know for a fact we aren’t on speaking terms, but I know your going to read this, and I know your going to be fucking pissed that I posted it. But really you want to try and tell me that you’ve actually never lied to me. Never mind addressing the secrets and riddles and all the other bullshit. But you’re going to say that in all this time you’ve never lied to me. And instead of even trying to recover your only response is “Bye asshat”? I don’t care if this hurts you any more this is fucked up beyond belief. You think “I was drunk” is an okay excuse? You hurt me so bad that one of my followers tagged me in a post saying to cheer the fuck up. (@renownedmeme Idk if you know me irl or not cause idk who you are but you’re amazing) But now you’re making my best friend want to Kill Himself and when i tell you to leave him alone its “fuck you, bye asshat”? No, fuck you. You don’t get to do this. It’s not fair to me, and it’s sure as hell not fair to him. You’ve always told me I need to stand up for myself and what i believe so here i fucking am, i hope your proud of me. I love you. Ive said it a fucking million times. And thats probably never going to change. But this shit is Not okay and it needs to fucking stop. Half of the shit you say to me is negative, either in meaning or in wording. You say you care about me, but only when its to stop me from doing something you don’t want me to do. You didn’t even pause when you found out I fucking cut myself again and you want me to believe you care about me? And then, back to the first time this spiraled downhill, it doesn’t matter if your drunk, being drunk doesn’t make you forget something that happened several days beforehand, and then disregard the reminder of said event with a “So?” I fucking cried myself to sleep that night because of you. Not to mention the fact that when we broke up because your mom died, you were dating someone else a few days later. And that someone else was one of my best friends. Then the second time we were dating, right before it’d been three months, “Oh by the way right before we starting dating again I was about to date your other best friend” which doesnt help the fact that whenever you were out with me you were always texting that best friend every five seconds and when you eventually break up with me you blame it on me never talking to you. There have been times where I texted you “I love you” and two weeks later you respond with a fucking oops. So you can’t say I didn’t fucking try to talk to you. There are weeks of missed texts if you look for them, and they can’t even be missed you can’t ignore a notification on your phone for two weeks if your on that phone texting my best friend every day. And you want to know why I know the shit you tell him? Because I WAS WITH HIM FOR HALF OF IT HES MY BEST FRIEND. And so when he gets a text with my name in it he tells me. And now you’ve decided that I’ve changed. Tell me, X, How have I changed. Name one thing that you’ve noticed different about me, that can’t be directly linked to the pain and depression that a plethora of things are causing. Name one way I’m a different person. Not that you’d know, I doubt you even know my favorite color.