#so im gonna be revivign the fandom one fic at a tim

[hartthews-rilaya]

Sunshine On A Cloudy Day

"I love you" she says with a shaking voice, she’s been saying it for years. Each time meaning it more than the last, meaning it in a different way than Riley does, because she’s Maya Hart and she cant let herself be happy.

She’s been trying to tell her how she felt about her for weeks now, she’s said those 3 words that used to terrify her more times in the past month than in the entirety of their friendship.

But she still doesn't understand.

~

It took her years to finally say those 3 little words to her, unlike Riley who told Maya she loved her a week after she first met her in kindergarten.

~

It was a particularly muggy day outside, a rarity for October in New York, Maya and Riley were currently playing make believe on the playground, when stupid Tommy Flanagan started marching up to them.

It wasn't really a secret he was the kindergarten bully but until today he had left Riley alone, it was probably safe to say Maya hated Tommy Flanagan, the only problem was she didn't know why but she was sure there was a good reason.

And then he did it, the thing that made her hate him, he told Riley to "ditch the dumb blonde" and come play with him by the swings, Riley looked at him like he had just said the worst curse word she could think of, her mouth hung slightly agape before she recomposed herself and in true Riley Matthews fashion replied with a short polite "no thank you."

Apparently Tommy didn't accept this as a good enough answer, and continued to pester her, "Hey! It wasn't a question!" he was closer now and his face looked like a tomato, but Riley just continued to ignore him, Maya actually kind of admired her right now if, it were her in this situation she probably would have already punched him by now. But Riley just keep playing with Maya pretending he wasn't currently yelling at her and calling her names no 6 year old should know.

Taking notice that his insults and words were making no visual affect on Riley, he did the one thing he really shouldn't have, he pulled her ponytail. Riley screamed and told him to "knock it off!!" but he just pulled harder. She was crying now and that's when Maya learned she would rather eat 1,000 pieces of broccoli than ever see Riley Matthews cry.

It boiled her blood in ways she couldn't yet explain, and without even considering the consequences she tackled Tommy Flanagan to the ground and started hittinghittinghitting him. Soon the teacher pulled her off him but not before she broke his nose. That was the first time she ever got detention.

As Maya made her way back to class she were surprised when Riley attacked her with a very tight hug.

"oh my goodness! Maya are you okay? Are you hurt? Did you get in trouble?"

She was talking a mile a minute which truth be told wasn't unusual for Riley but she sounded out of breath and so deeply concerned it confused Maya to no end, why would she be concerned about her? Maya thought she would be mad at her for hurting him or at least disappointed that she used violence instead of her words which Riley hates, but she just stared at Maya with slightly glassy eyes that were darting all over her searching for any signs of injury, she was still holding on to her hands abnormally tight as Maya tried to ease her worries.

"Riles, shush i'm fine, okay i'm perfectly fine I just got detention no big deal."

Maya said shrugging her shoulders to show how completely cool she was with that fact, as if she wasn’t currently freaking out about how she was going to it explain to her mom, who was already dealing with so much after her daddy left a few weeks ago for a business trip he hasn't come back from.

However her attempt to ease Riley’s worries only seemed to make it worse as her eyes widened like saucers and her voice raised a few octaves higher.

" YOU GOT DETENTION? OH MY GOODNESS MAYA IM SO SORRY"

Riley practically yells pulling her back in for a hug that was somehow tighter than the last, it made Maya’s stomach flutter and cheeks heat but she didn't know why.

"Oh, this is all my fault I shouldn't have let you tackle him, I should have just dealt with it myself, oh peaches i'm so sorry!"

She sounded like she was on the verge oh tears, how could she think this was her fault? Maya was the one who broke his nose she didn't do anything!

"Riles this isn't your fault, its mine I did this to myself don't blame yourself." Riley loosened her grip on Maya ever so slightly and maneuvered to look at her.

"peaches, why did you tackle Tommy?"

"because he was hurting you and id rather have detention everyday of my life than have anyone hurt you."

She said it like it was obvious, but something filled in Riley’s eyes that she couldn't quite place, it looked almost like affection? Her eyes refilled with tears and this time they ran down her face.

"thank you, thank you, thank you, oh peaches that the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, I love you."

She froze, unable to know what to do, her muscles tensed involuntary, did Riley just say what she think she just said?

"You what?" She ask completely caught off guard her heart racing,

"I love you." Riley repeats a confused look on her face,

"y-You do?" She asks unable to process what she said.

"of course I do peaches you're my best friend."

Riley said it like it was a fact of the universe, you were best friends and she loved you.

Maya’s heart felt like it leapt straight out of her chest for reasons unknown, she had never had someone tell her they loved her besides her parents, and it felt so new and soft that she couldn't quite believe it. Riley looked at her expectingly but before she could say anything the teacher and Tommy stepped back in the room, she told everyone to sit back down and Maya’s never been more grateful for class to continue.

She didn't know why it scared her so much to say 'I love you too' to Riley, she did love her she knew she did, then why couldn't she say it? Her mind kept traveling back to her dad and him telling her he loved her before he left, and how he hasn't come back. Maybe if she tells Riley she loves her and gets attached, she'll leave too.

But Maya’d never been so sure of something in her young life, she loved Riley Matthews. She just couldn't tell her.

~

"I love you too, peaches" Riley replies, not even glancing up from her homework, to engrossed in the 'fascinating science' to really pay attention to her.

They’ve been doing homework for the past hour, or rather Riley’s been doing homework and Maya’s been watching the light move over her face as the sun goes down.

This is when it gets harder to bite her tongue, when its 5:37 p.m and her hair's amber, her skins golden, and her nose is in the homework Maya doesn’t understand. The sight reminds her of the that song she loves.

" So this is where I leave you .. sitting in a palace covered in gold inside my head .. this is where I see you .. on a bed of roses when I want to kiss your silhouette"

Maya started humming it absentmindedly, and her face was overtaken with a grin as she heard Riley start humming too, very low, she doubted she even knew she was doing it.

Maya watched the sight in front of her, Riley had her 'very serious concentrating' face on, a purple cat pencil in her mouth, humming to the song, and she was lightly swaying back and forth. The sight made Maya’s heart clench and twist, and she was overwhelmed with the urge to say it again, to say it a thousand times until she was sure Riley knew, and even just a couple more times to see how her face lights up.

But she refrained, she held her tongue, she’s already said it four times today and soon Riley’ll start to catch on and then what will she do? Tell her? No. It'll ruin everything, she'll hate her, she'll think she’s disgusting, and Maya can deal with a lot of shit in life but Riley Matthews hating her is not one of them.

She looks back to the homework she hasn’t even started and sighs. She has too much on her mind to even think of school right now. She lets her mind wander and finds herself thinking about the first time she told Riley she loved her.

~

Its been 3 years since that fateful day in kindergarten when Maya got detention for the first time and Riley told her she loved her.

Since then Riley tells her at least 3 times a day that she loves her, she never makes Maya say it back and she doesn’t.

Riley pretends it doesn't hurt, but Maya can see it in her face, the anticipation after she says it waiting, hoping she will say it back, and the way her eyes fall and sulk when she doesn’t, she tries her best to keep the smile on her face but Maya can see right through it.

She wishes more than anything she could tell Riley just how much she loves her, but its now been 3 years since Maya’s dad left and went off and got a new family, and she’s pretty sure its her fault because, isn't everything?

And Riley's too good, Maya already knows she don't deserve her, she’s just waiting for the day she realizes she can do so much better, but until then Maya needs Riley with her for as long as she can have her, and she won't do anything to make her leave sooner.

Its selfish, god its so selfish, not telling her, hurting her, so she doesn't hurt Maya, its wrong and mean and it kills her. But she can't lose her, not yet.

Riley is the sun, she makes her world turn, her plants grow and her life have light, and if she leaves then Maya will lose everything, her sun, her life, her world, her warmth, and her light.

But still no matter what, with out fail Riley still manages to tell her she loves her everyday, and more likely than not multiple times a day, and Maya still stays quite.

But today is different, today is the sun's birthday and she couldn't buy her anything cause, she’s 8 and jobless, and her mom barely has enough money to keep the lights on and food on the table. Maya tried to tell her mom she would happily starve in complete darkness if it meant getting Riley the present she deserves, but her mom just laughed, ruffled her hair, and told her that Riley wouldn't want her to starve.

She figured she was probably right, but were still bummed. She decided to paint Riley a picture because she always told her how much she loves her art, even though she doesn’t know why her art isn't special, but Riley likes it and that's whats important.

The only problem is what do she paint the girl who looks like a painting herself?

She tries to paint something as beautiful as she is but its not possible, nothing is as pretty as her. She tries to ignore how that sounds, because shes her best friend don't all best friends think each other are the most beautiful thing in the world?

She brainstorms a lot of ideas and finally land with painting how she makes her feel, its cheesy but she knows Riley’ll love it.

She gets to Riley's house at about 8 am. She wasn’t supposed to come till noon, but she couldn't wait any longer to see her. she drug her mom out of bed and had her drive her to Riley's. She drops Maya off outside Riley’s apartment building while she runs to get breakfast. Maya pretends to be going to the front doors till she drives away then she B-line to the back alley way. She climbs up the oh so familiar fire escape that leads to the sleeping suns room and parks herself right outside her window.

Maya takes a moment to calm herself down. She doesn’t know why she suddenly got so nervous, what if she doesn't want you to come early, what if she doesn't like her present, what if-

Her inner tangent is cut off by the sound of a bed shifting, she sees Riley turn slightly, still asleep with a dopey smile on her face, Maya wonders must happen in her dreams that could make a smile that bright. Her heart flips upside down in your chest at the sight, and she can't help the smile that appears on her own face because of it.

Maya gently and quietly opens Riley’s window; which she leaves unlocked just for her, and crawls inside trying not to make to much noise. She lays her now wrapped painting down on the bay window and makes her way over to Riley’s bed. She climbs under the covers on the opposite side of the bed, this would be consider weird and slightly creepy if this wasn't an almost daily occurrence.

They had both become very used to Maya climbing in through her window without warning and just falling asleep next to her. She’s never minded though. In fact she always cuddles into her whenever she notices she’s there whether awake or asleep, this time was no different.

She had barely finished laying down before Riley’s small arms were wrapped around Maya’s torso, she smiles to herself at the immediate warmth that fills her heart at the touch. Her stomach feels like she ate butterflies for breakfast and she can't understand why.

She stays there for 20 minutes, perfectly content to just lay next to her best friend all day, when Riley finally stirs awake, she looks at Maya with sleep worn eyes and hair covering most of her face, she smiles at her with that heart melting grin and Maya swears in that moment, Riley’s a masterpiece painted by someone more talented than she will ever be.

"Morning peaches," she says in a whisper that probably wasn't intentional.

"Morning sunshine," she smiles at the nickname "hows my birthday girl?" Maya asks.

Riley buries her face into Maya’s shoulder, and she ignores how the butterflies act like their cage was just shaken, "tired." Riley replies, her voice muffled.

"Well we can stay here and sleep in for a few more hours if you want, orrrr we can wake up your parents force them to make us breakfast and get the best birthday in the history of the world started." She perked up, shouted an over enthusiastic "okay!" then jumped out of bed.

Maya smiled for the like hundredth time since she’s been here, watching how jumpy and happy Riley was. She had already made her way out of her room by the time Maya managed to get out of her bed. She found her in the kitchen sitting jittery on their usual stool, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were already making chocolate pancakes, looking entirely exhausted, but she could see how happy they became whenever they looked at Riley.

They all ate breakfast, and then went and got changed, Maya who had already been dressed upon arrival stayed in the living room waiting for Farkle and a few other friends from school to show up. Riley came down in a bright sparkly yellow dress, she looked even more like the sun than usual.

Farkle showed up about 20 minutes later, and Maya’s mom 10 minutes after that. At around 3 p.m everyone else showed up, and they had cake, which was decorated as a purple cat Riley's favourite animal, and then opened presents, well all except Maya’s, she were waiting to give Riley hers till they were alone. Everyone played games until about 6 p.m when everyone had to leave, Farkle stayed for another hour until he too had to head home.

However Maya’s mom had brought her clothes from home so she could stay the night because she had to work late, and also Riley begged her to the point of near tears until she gave in.

It was now 7 p.m and Maya and Riley had just made their way back to her room. They were sitting on the bay window discussing the events of the day, Maya was growing nervous over the anticipation of giving Riley her present. Finally after 20 minutes of chit-chat she pulled the wrapped painting out from behind one of the pillows on the bay window were she had hid it this morning on her way to breakfast.

She announces that its finally time to open her present and Riley squeals, and grabs the present out of Maya’s hand before she can say anything. She opens it carefully like she always does, and she just stares at it, an unreadable expression on her face.

The painting was of a field in the summertime, there were flowers of every colour, and grass swaying in the wind, bunnies running amust the field, and trees casting shadows all around, but the most important thing in the picture the center piece was, yes you guessed it, the sun, breathing life and warmth into everything else. She used practically every colour she had to make the painting and Riley's uncharacteristic silence was gnawing at her anxiety.

"I'm sorry I couldn't buy you a present Riles, I tried to paint you something but its not very good im sorry" She looks down at her shaking hands feeling like a failure for not being able to get Riley the present she deserves. She’s startled by Riley’s small and frail voice when she finally speaks up.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen peaches." it couldn't have been more than a whisper, barely audible. Her voice was wet and her breathing uneven, and when Maya looked up she could see tears in her eyes threatening to fall at any moment, but she was smiling, she was happy, she liked it!

Riley pulled her into the tightest hug imaginable, crushing her bones along the way but she didn't care, Maya would give anything to stay like this forever.

"Thank you so much Maya this is the best present I've ever gotten in my whole life" she said so truthfully she couldn't help but believe it, but then something happened something she didn't expect and didn't plan. Maya spoke before she had even realized she was thinking it.

"I love you Riles" it was said quickly and quietly, she hoped Riley hadn't heard her but from how close they are, that was nothing more than wishful thinking.

Riley gasped so loud she thinks she burst her eardrum. Riley pulled back, and when Maya finally came back from the shock she looked up to see her once teary eyes, now look more like waterfalls, the tears streaming down her face, but she was smiling the biggest and happiest smile Maya’s ever seen.

"You love me?" she asked almost like she couldn't believe it, and it made the guilt fill her chest.

"Of course I love you honey, I always have it just took me a while to say it I'm sorry." She apologized.

"No don't you ever be sorry, not everyone is as comfortable with saying it." she sounded almost mad that she would ever be sorry, and Riley pulled her back into another bone crushing hug, this time soaking the back of her shirt with her tears that were still falling.

"I take it back peaches, the painting wasn't the best present I've ever got, this is." Maya laughed, but the words made her heart swell two times its size.

"You still like the painting though right?" She asked jokingly already knowing the answer, Riley pulled away and just looked at her, her tears had finally stopped, but her eyes were now puffy and red, and she was sniffling, but she was still the most beautiful thing in the world. She smiled her Riley smile.

"I love the painting peaches, it comes as a close second." she laughed too at that, and layed her head on Maya’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for hours until her parents came to tell them all to go to sleep. When they got in Riley’s bed they resumed their cuddle position from the morning, and as Riley drifted off to sleep smiling like a loon, Maya quietly whispered, "I love you Riles," "I love you too Maya." She fell asleep soon after, and for the first time since her dad left, slept soundly with a smile on her face.

~

Maya’s face lite up at the memory and she glanced over to the wall to her right, to look at the painting hanging in its frame.

Mrs. Matthews called up for dinner, but the sun was too engrossed in her homework to hear. Maya closed her untouched books, and slid off the bay window and crawled her way towards the brunette. She didn't even hear her so when Maya spoke softly into her ear she jumped a little.

"Hey Riles, dinners ready." Riley looked at her and smiled, finally closed her books and stood up, Riley held out her hand to help Maya up. Which she happily took, and the two of them walked to Riley’s kitchen together, still hand in hand.

Maya loved Riley Matthews. She’d never been more sure of anything in her whole life.

She just wished Riley loved her in the same way.