#so if you tageed me message me so I can put your name there too!!

[chanhansol]

Vernonvibes! Challenge

(or r4ve bias tag, call whatever you want)

I’ve seen better ones but I spent a lot of time on those and actually I loved the results kjsdfksjdfs hope y’all liked it too!!

I was tagged by @notsvt, @kwoncoups and @i-love-go-won

(it took me a while but thank y’all for tagging me!!!)

-

tagging: @wonhuis | @luwo0 | @m1nqhao | @meezchan | @daycarat | @lukkilucas | @prince-junhui | @chong-jojun-bts | @shuabun | @cowboy-vernon and whoever wants do to this bc it’s so fun I swear

[magics-protector]

What He Doesn’t Know

General Hux x Reader

Pairing: General Hux x Fem!Reader (mentions of past Kylo x Reader)

Summary: Y/N is the wife of Kylo Ren, but, when Ren starts to grow attracted to the young scavenger who knows the where abouts of Luke Skywalker, Y/N turns to the man who has loved her all along. 

*Edited on May 29th, 2021*

In the early hours of the morning, barely able to open her eyes, Y/N felt the left side of the bed with her hand. It was cold and empty. With a long sigh, Y/N forced her eyes shut even more to hold back the tears that grew in her eyes.

What was the point of marriage if her husband was never there?

Opening her eyes, Y/N looked around the room as she rose from the cold sheets. Just by looking at the room, she could tell he never even made it home. Ever since that scavenger girl escaped, he hasn’t been home. That girl took up all of his thoughts.

Y/N was nothing more than a back thought in his mind.

Rising up, Y/N put on her suit for work. Regardless of her marital problems, Y/N was still a General, she still had responsibilities to the First Order. Hopefully, with all the luck in the galaxy, she could avoid her dear husband, and hopefully manage to stay close to someone else as much as she could.

Heading out her door, she headed to her office, where mountains of paperwork awaited her for signing. With the amount of things that Ren breaks, the amount of papers just kept piling up. Signing all the papers, Y/N’s mind fled away from her work. Her mind traveled back to three weeks prior; Ren had not come home for the fifth time that week. Tired of being alone and unloved, Y/N traveled the halls of Starkiller - looking for something that she didn’t know she was looking for. Eventually, she was found by the thing she didn’t know she was looking for. The one who loved her that entire time. He took her back to his room where she cried in his arms for a long time - he cared for her in that one hour more than Ren had ever in their entire marriage. She then realized how she felt at that moment. She kept going back as much as she could from then on.

Signing the last signature needed, Y/N closed her datapad and set it down, she sighed, running her fingers against her temples.

“General L/N, General Hux requires you in his office at once.” A robotic voice echoed through her office and rang in her ears. She looked up to a stormtrooper standing in her doorway.

Y/N sighed and nodded, rising from her desk and walking behind the stormtrooper. Walking behind the trooper, Y/N’s mind wandered back - before she married Ren, fresh out of the academy with Hux, she helped build the stormtrooper army that Hux valued too much - but she had other ideas for raising the troopers. Born a warrior herself, Y/N knew better than anyone that warriors needed a mentor figure in order to thrive. Looking at the troopers numbers, she realized this trooper had been apart of her own trooper experiment - years ago, Y/N and multiple other commanding officers who supported her theory all raised an individual stormtrooper - with great success coming from all outcomes, save for Y/N’s stormtrooper. Y/N’s mind wandered to her own trooper - while he was a failure in the eyes of the First Order, Y/N felt his actions led him to a better place, the motherly instincts inside her felt at ease knowing he left the First Order - and while she was punished by the Supreme Leader for it, it always made Y/N feel better knowing FN-2187 was somewhere where he was loved.

Rounding the corner, the trooper left Y/N to enter Hux’s office. Inside, the disheveled General raised his eyes from his papers - rage and hurt in his eyes and he was ready to throw whoever it was out. Y/N’s face paled and there was a fire in her eyes that grew with the rage in her heart. There were large purple bruises growing under his eyes and large cuts all over him. Before she could reach him, Hux rose up and ran to her, pulling her close.

“What happened to you?” Y/N whispered, the rage in her heart making her voice strained and raspy.

Armitage remained silent as his grip on Y/N tightened. The silence from him was terrifying and left Y/N to wonder: was this the work of the new General Ren had appointed? Did Ren do this to him at all? Y/N’s mind wandered around so much she almost missed what Armitage had said, but she honestly wished she hadn’t heard.

“He knows.”

Y/N pulled back - terror in her eyes, her skin grew sickly green. Armitage pulled back from her and ran over to his desk. “I have a plan.”

“Plan?” Y/N tilted her head. “Plan for what?”

Armitage looked at her, eyes wide with fear. “Our escape.”

Y/N looked down at her hands. “Our escape? Tage, My Love, we can’t just, just abandon the First Order. We’ve worked too hard for this.” Y/N looked at her lover. “We can’t run away in fear.” She whispered.

“My love.” She heard him say. “Ren knows I’m the spy. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out about us. About our love. It’s only a matter of time until he has us both terminated.” Armitage pulled out a small communicator from a hidden spot in his desk. “I have contacted the Resistance.”

The look on Y/N’s face was hurt - he went ahead and started planning without her.

“I know, I should have talked to you first.” Armitage ran his hands through his bright red locks. “But, my love, I couldn’t wait. Not while your life is in danger.” He walked towards Y/N and held her by the shoulders. “The resistance has agreed to help us escape to a planet outside the First Order’s grasp.”

“But, Armitage,” Y/N whispered. “What about everything you’ve worked towards? The First Order means everything to you.” While it was true Y/N really only stuck around because of her Marriage to Kylo and her friendship with Hux, the First Order was always first priority for the General.

Hux’s eyes went soft as he leaned his forehead against hers. “You mean way more to me than anything I have ever accomplished here. Having you at my side is the greatest achievement I could ever have accomplished. I won’t lose that. I won’t lose us.”

Y/N’s eyes teared up: Kylo had never spoken to her like that. With Hux, she honestly couldn’t remember why she ever loved Kylo. After a moment and Hux’s anxious looks, Y/N nodded.

“What do we do?”

It took little time for a plan to come into work and less time to enact the plan.

The plan was simple enough: with the help of General Leia, rebels would attack a First Order base that was under the command of Hux’s elite - in order to get Y/N and Hux off of New Starkiller Base, the rebels would have to impersonate a First Order officer pleading for the Generals to come to the aid of the base.

Boarding the ship, Y/N looked back to see Ren watching her as she entered the ship - missing the look of worry on his face as the doors closed. The ship took off and Y/N could see the tension on Hux’s shoulders grow as they were approached by a rebel ship that was going to “attack” them. As they were within sight of Starkiller, the rebels boarded the ship, placing a bomb on board before sending a message to Starkiller - to make it look real, Y/N and Hux were placed on their knees and tied up.

“First Order,” A Rebel by the name of Poe Dameron said while on call with New Starkiller, “We have General Hugs -”

“Hux.”

Poe scoffed. “General Hux and General L/N captive.”

Y/N didn’t bother to look up as she heard Kylo storming into the room on the other end of the call. Even through the call, she could feel his anger. It was this sense that made Armitage start to tense up. It was moments before Kylo spoke.

“What are your demands?” His robotic voice made Y/N flinch.

Poe chuckled. “We have none. This isn’t a ransom call, it’s a message to the First Order that we will win and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Poe then cut the call off before Kylo could speak again.

“I don’t trust this.” He uttered to himself, turning to the two former Generals, who were being untied by Rebels.  

Hux chuckled. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to deal with us much longer after you destroy our ship.”

Y/N rose to her feet with the help of Hux, rubbing her wrists when she saw a figure in her peripheral. She smiled and turned. It had been a long time since she had seen his face - he stood there almost in shock at seeing her again. “Hello, FN-2187.” She smiled warmly. “Or is it Finn now?”

Though he cringed at his old name, Finn smiled. “Hey, Mom.”

Quickly, the group fled to the Rebel’s ship and took off. Watching out the back window, Y/N watched as the ship she was supposed to be on - the one her now ex- husband thought she was on - exploded into millions of pieces. Rubbing her arms, she felt Hux’s arms wrap around her and his lips press against the back of her head. “We’re safe.” She heard him whisper. He took a breath of relief and repeated himself.

She smiled and nodded. They stood there for what seemed like hours until someone cleared their throat behind them.

“We’ll be approaching Lesternia in about five minutes.” Poe said before he walked away. It was understandable he wouldn’t want to be anywhere near them.

Y/N turned around in Armitage’s arms and leaned in.

“Maybe we’ll be ok.” Y/N thought and maybe they would be. Or maybe, the Force is stronger in them than they think - and maybe that would be their downfall.

But for the moment, Y/N could only see a good future waiting for them.

[hwanuels]

n.jm: where were you?

summary: y/n does not know what the fuck is going on half of the time. 

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

warning: a lot of cursing, drug usage reference, crackheadness, maybe a lot of grammer error. this is my first bullet-scenario au so yeah. also! this a collab with the lovely @huangsren in out nct dreamies alternate universe teehee. she has a lovely, fluffy renjun one up so go read it!

part two!

you okay let’s get this collab with @huangsren 

so at NCT High if you don't know Na Jaemin who the hell are you? like everyone knows this kid from lunch ladies to the freaking janitors 

its not a surprise since the dude is literally dead drop gorgeous and has a shit ton of social skills. like the boy deadass can swindle his way out of detention (which he did) with just a wink 

typical fboi but instead of it being a huge turn-off, girls still throw themselves on him even when he WARNS them beforehand that he isn't looking for a serious thing

still, they get attached and heartbroken when he tells them “this isn’t working out” 

his friends (aka art-hoe!renjun and student-athlete!jeno) always rolls their eyes when jaemin rolls up into the lunchroom with his arms wrapped around a new girl’s shoulder

“bet she’s not going to last two weeks”- renjun slapping down a 10$ 

“knowing him, this isn’t going to last more than a week”- jeno said but still sliding over a 10$ bill 

AND SUPRISE it doesn’t 

both renjun and jeno don’t approve of his philandering, but they stick w jaemin cause he’s still their best bud cause bros before hoes ya know what i mean?

this is especially true with jeno cause they’ve been bffl since they were like five but that doesn’t mean that jaemin is anything like jeno. 

nah man they both are the complete opposite of each other

like jeno is a quiet reserved student-athlete boi but jaemin out here acting like a little thotty 

nomin is like a package deal, no one can separate them

here where out little y/n comes in

surprisingly you’re childhood friends w nomin 

both u and jeno are neighbors and your families have been friends since before you were even conceived 

your moms’ have weekly tea times where they’d gossip about everything and anything while your dads would be watching the weekly soccer/football games drinking a cold one 

you and jeno would be playing with some legos or barbies 

jeno had a minor (major) barbie obsession which was probably induced by you

don’t tell anyone but jeno still binge-watches barbie movies;;;his favorite really be the princess charm school one 

like i said nomin is a package deal so expect jaemin to be taging along to yours and jeno’s weekly playdate

imagine you being the princess while jaemin pretended to be the prince and jeno was the dragon,,,yeah man it was so lit 

this isn’t a jeno fic btw keep in mind its still jaemin 

all of that stuff before was when the three of you were like kids

once highschool came around all three of you found ur niches: jeno was the student-athlete, jaemin was well that guy that was wanted by all the girls

and you were just a regular mundane student ya know,,,you weren’t extremely talented nor smart you just floated around 

u still hung around jeno tho but your friendship was really lowkey 

like both of y'all would wait until the other one was completely alone or do some ridiculous actions to deliver the simplest messages 

jeno would look both ways before slipping you a note in class that said “can your mom drive me home today?” and you would make sure no one was looking before nodding secretly 

or the two of you would hide behind bushes to say that y'all parents wanted to have dinner together tonight 

tbh yall could just text each other but where’s the fUN in that? 

jaemin, on the other hand, was someone you haven’t a solid conversation with since sophomore year bc of an incident 

basically, you had helped one of your friends into a relationship with jaemin that lasted for about two months,,, which was considerably a long time considering that it was jaemin.the two of them were a fat power couple 

ur friend, let’s call her ella, was probably one of the more popular girls at school. she was well-known for being the prettiest, kindest girl that everyone LOVES

anyways, things didn’t end so well bc he stood her up at hoco even though he was gonna be crowned homecoming king and her queen. 

no one knows why jaemin just ditched but he did. 

didn’t stick well with your friend tho cause she stopped talking to you as well not really giving you an explanation

and this led to everyone in your friend group to kinda put all the blame onto you 

this is also when jaemin picked up his heartbreaker reputation and began living up to that title

at first ur were hella mad and sad, but you got over it cause being outcasted and kicked out of that friend group led you to befriend the local stoner boi!haechan

honestly, you got over it but after ignoring and avoiding jaemin for a whole year it just stuck. 

yall never talked again 

here comes SENIOR YEARS BITS 

u were so done w school at this point, you had suffered and labored through junior year,,, SAT and ACT were the biggest bitches you ever faced in your lifetime and this is coming from someone who was friends with the resident shithead lee haechan 

so it’s lunchtime and you’re listening to haechan’s wild story about some shenanigan that he and his weed dealer/ older college friend mark had gotten up to the past weekend 

“so like we were just hitting a blunt this weekend in mark’s car and this cop pulls up next to us.mark rolls down the window and all of the smoke just hits the cops in the face” 

“you're a fucking idiot, haechan” 

“listen bitch, i’m not done” 

“so the cop is doing the regular illegal drugs bullshit and asked mark a question. understand at this point that mark is high as fuck so i kid you not the crackhead says quack. nothing else just quack. honestly, i still don’t know how we got out of that but we did and lee haechan is still in school.” 

you want to slap your friend with a big smh at this point 

but it so ridiculous and so haechan that you can’t say anything else 

and you don’t have too! bc someone taps ur shoulder pulling you out of your convo and boom it’s ella 

“hey, y/n” she starts out sweetly and you could feel haechan’s bitch face directed towards the girl, who seemed to just ignore the boy 

“what’s up, ella?” you were hella fucking slightly irritated and highkey suspicious bc like this was the first time that she talked to you in like two years

“this out of the blue, but you know how prom is coming up soon? we need extra hands on the planning community,” ella explained with a bright smile  “we need another person to work on making the centerpieces for each table, but we only have one person on that” 

“okay, so what does this have to do with her?” haechan’s bitchy tone soaked in each word 

ella’s smile faltered slightly at his words, but it was so subtle that only people with keen eyes could notice

“i hope that i’m not imposing anything on to you.” ella trying to reassure  “but Mr. Moon told me that you still need some community service hours for our graduation requirement so I just assumed that this would be a good opportunity for you.” 

oh shit 

you completely forgot about that and you still needed like another 10 hours to complete

“ummmm” 

“i wouldn’t ask you this but my workload is completely swamped” ella added “it would be a big help if you can help. haechan, you can help too!” 

haechan let out a loud gag that seemed to baffle her 

“oh hell no, i already got my community service hours done like freshmen year.” 

you gave haechan the most incredulous face you could make cause like this druggie who gets high every other week and vapes in the bathroom really finished his community service hours before you????how?? 

“don’t look at me like that.” haechan kicked you underneath the table “it was before i learned how to roll a blunt” 

“drugs aren’t good for you, haechan,” ella chided 

haechan made a mocking face,,you know the one he does like that one,,”not all of us can be little miss goodie-two-shoes like you” 

oKAy time to do some damage control before your shithead friend gets himself into more shit 

“i’ll do it. just text me the details.” 

“thank you so much y/n!” ella said before bouncing off 

“i hate her” haechan stated

“you hate everyone” 

CUE aFTerschool when you follow ella’s text to go to the art building where everyone was gathered 

the minute you walked in you realized that you should have just said no and done some other community service activity cause jaemin was present standing in the corner and other people who you once called your close friends that turned out to be fat snakes

now you gotta deal with them again (aww shit here we go again) 

ella is motioning you to come into the classroom which you obliged cause you figured that you possibly could survive w ur rbf on as you made your way to the other unoccupied corner

there was some whispering in the background but you ignored it cUASE like hyuk always says: “you just gotta get high and block out all the haters” 

well, he was right about the second half, not so much the first. 

“alright everyone! thank you so much for volunteering to help set up for our senior prom! we only have about three weeks so we have to get all of the decorations done as soon as possible!” ella said in a chirpy tone

a lot of people looked motived by the girl’s bubby short speech on how everyone needs to put in 100% of their effort. you zoned that out as you caught the sleeping figure at the teacher's desk 

“goddamn you mr.moon forcing me to be here” you grumbled in your head almost missing your assigned duty, 

“y/n!” your head snapped in the direction that your name was called 

you saw ella standing with jaemin and the sirens go off in your head 

FUCK THIS

you let out a loud sigh before trotting over to the two 

ella gave you a piece of paper that had the centerpieces’ picture on them along with a long list of decorations “all you guys have to do is make about 300. all the directions are on the sheet and the supplies are in the other room. it’s really simple, just have it done by next friday.” 

you nearly popped a blood vessel 

300 by next friday? today was wednesday so that meant you only had ten days to finish all 300 of them

so you and jaemin are walking to the classroom next door to get the supplies y’all needed,,, in your head, you were just cursing everything in existence for putting you into this position especially mr. moon 

“so how did she rope you into this?” you heard jaemin say from beside you as you both carried boxes out to the parking lot. 

you two came to the good conclusion to split the load so that he would do half and you would do half 

150 it’s not that bad 

15 a day

hell yeah

it was so strange and foreign talking to him since it’s been about two whole years.  

he had a nice voice tho ngl maybe that’s why he got out of that detention that one time 

“she somehow found out that i still needed to complete my community service hours before graduation” you murmured, praying that haechan remembered you telling him to wait for you after school 

he probably ditched you to get high or hang out with one girl he liked

all jaemin said was “oh” and the rest of the walk to the school’s parking lot was quiet 

the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and the knife would break

“hey can i ask you a question?” jaemin asked when the two of you were about to go your separate ways 

you could see mark’s old beat-down car meaning that haechan, in fact, did ditch you but had the decency to call up mark to pick you up 

“yeah, go ahead” 

“how come you still talk to jeno, but not me?” 

i shit you not this was the quietest and deepest voice that you ever heard jaemin project 

you didn’t know how to reply so you looked down at the large box in your hand, mumbling some incoherent excuse

“can you repeat that?” 

“ i said, we don’t really have any other reasons to be friend's unlike me and jeno” 

“is that all?” jaemin asked, probably catching onto your bullshit

you were probably delusional but you could’ve sworn you heard some sadness in the tone he used

you nodded quickly trying to get to mark’s car hoping to avoid further conversation 

but boy was jaemin stubborn 

“that wasn’t a good explanation,y/n! ” jaemin called out after you. 

this time he sounded more lighthearted than before

you turn around to face jaemin who had a fatass smile on his face 

damn was he good looking smiling like that 

“give me a better reason tomorrow or else i’m taking you on a date!” his dazzling smile nearly blinding you as he made his way to his own car

inside your head little y/n is going whattheactualfuck? 

“what’s with that shook face?” mark ask as you climbed into the passenger seat 

“what the fuck?” you say 

“huh?”

you look at mark “what the ACTUAL fuck?” 

poor mark is like wtf is wrong with her,,,did haechan get her on some type of crack? 

that night while you were making the little centerpieces you were still going over what jaemin said 

you looked at the last centerpiece you finish making 

was he flirting with me? or was he serious?

he sounded sad when i said that tho? 

at the same, this was jaemin, a boy who is well-known for having flings left and right. 

he’s probably just flirting

until next day! jaemin pops up next to you as while you get your shit from your locker for your first class 

“did you come up with a good explanation yet? 

his sudden appearance startled you causing you to subconsciously let out a yelp 

“cute” he said, and you forced down the blush that was about to show 

“i thought i told you already?” causing jaemin to shake his head like a cute little puppy 

“i don’t accept it.i want a better one,” he said sounding like a spoiled toddler 

you gave him the “wtf do you mean look” and he was about to reply until you saw haechan walking through the school doors with a pair of sunglasses on which can only mean one thing

that little shit head came to school high again

you pushed passed jaemin and stormed towards haechan pulling him to some vacant hallway to lecture him

leaving jaemin standing there staring at your backs as the two of you left 

jaemin’s smile dropping significantly as he nearly glared over at the two of you leaving, specifically at the back of haechan’s head 

“dude, why do you look like you’re going to murder someone?” jeno asked as jaemin sat next to him at their lab station 

you weren’t in this chemistry class but haechan was,,,and it was his naptime

“how is y/n friends with him?” jaemin stared directly at a sleeping haechan 

jeno follows his line of sight, letting out a sigh once he notices it was haehcan

“she never really told me, but i assume it was because she stopped being friends with ella and that group” jeno said honestly. he raised an eyebrow in question at his bffl “why do you need to know” 

jaemin didn’t answer him, continuing to glaring at the sleeping male 

jeno rolled his eyes at his friend's antics 

but in a serious tone, he warns to his friend, “don’t pull your games with y/n.” 

except jaemin’s head wasn’t registering this warning,,he was solely focused on how lee fucking haechan the biggest stoner of NCT High managed to take a girl’s attention from him, na jaemin....it was simply ridiculous 

maybe he really was an attention seeker bc he made a beeline for your table during lunch instead of his regular one once he saw just how loud you were laughing at haechan’s joke 

“what’s so funny?” jaemin asked sliding into the seat next to you 

now both of you and our boy hyuk is like wtf 

immediately you’re on defense, “what are you doing here?” 

“you never gave me a good explanation!” jaemin pouted, giving you fat puppy eyes 

those aLMost worked 

“uhhhhhh” you try to find a good excuse but jaemin quickly cuts you off 

“it’s okay if you don’t have a good explanation,” jaemin reaches over and steals a fry from haechan’s tray eliciting a hissing sound from the boy “you just have to go on a date with me” 

then he winks 

and he's gone

“what in the holy fuck just happened?” 

the amount of time that y/n has said wtf is unbelievable 

haechan’s sunglasses slip down the bridge of nose and you could see his red eyes giving you a look of disappointment, “and you say i have issues” 

“stfu before i slit your throat” 

the rest of the day wasn’t any easier on you tbh. you learned that jaemin was really really stubborn and very very clingy 

the boy deadass scanned the whole hallway to find your face so he could tag along with you to your next class even though you could have sworn that his class was one the other side of the school 

he kept on bombarding you with questions on what you wanted to get after school and if you like roller skating 

by some means, you were able to hide in the library for the rest of the study hall period which meant that you could probably avoid jaemin until school ended 

you spotted a familiar boy huddled in the corner reading a book that made you squint your eyes. 

marching over to jeno, your eyes just say “explain” 

jeno looked at you with like those wide eyes he does when he’s shookth bc the two of you never interacting in school so puBlicly

“what the hell is na jaemin trying to pull?” you whispered-yelled plopping down in the wooden seat next to the athlete 

jeno is all like????wydm 

and you explain your whole situation to him and he just lets out the biggest sigh 

“he doesn’t like being left on read” 

“what do you mean?” 

“i mean, that’s what you basically did to him sophomore year. he was kinda depresso about how you just stopped talking to him out of nowhere. by the way, why did you do that?” 

tbh you really didn’t know at first you were mad at him

was it bc his actions caused all your friends to blame you for his inability to commit to a relationship,,, but it’s been two years since that incident

you got over it, so why were you still avoiding jaemin? 

“i dunno after him and ella broke up, i didn’t have a reason to talk to him.” 

jeno looked at you like “really? is that your answer?” 

“think about that question again because i’m sure that that's, not the whole answer.” 

now you’re more confused but also very mad about how both of them weren’t accepting your reason as valid! 

so as you were furiously making the stupid centerpieces that ella forced you into volunteering to do

angry y/n really got through a solid 50 of them 

you pondered on jeno’s words and you thought back to sophomore year 

you remembered still joking around lightheartedly w jaemin until he started dating ella 

he actually spent a lot of time and effort even ditching jeno sometimes for her which was okay cause jeno would chill w renjun or even you (mostly bc he could watch barbie movies w no shame) 

everything was alright until homecoming came around and jaemin flaked on ella leading them to breakup the next day 

and ella to stop talking to you which made everyone mad you or think that you were the one that caused the breakup 

WHICH YOU DIDN”T 

you were the one that hooked the two of them up too! so it was really unfair! 

it's like 2 am and you don’t know what came over to text jeno but you did 

y/n: why didn’t jaemin go to hoco sophomore year? 

you felt instant regret after sending that text bc like it probably made it seem like you were interested in jaemin,,,, which you were totally not!

seconds later jeno slaps you with the ”ask him yourself”  

fattest facepalm 

so that’s how you spent the entire night finishing all of your centerpieces that you were assigned to make cuz of your frustration

wow we love a productive y/n 

alrighty this is where shit goes down 

now that you were done with all of your centerpieces you took them to the art room the next day before school where ella was there doing her stoof 

she looked up with a giant smile when you came in with a giant box 

“you finished all of it?” 

“nah just 150. jaemins finishing the other half” you set the box down 

“oh okie,” ella nodded returning to whatever she was doing beforehand 

since it was just the two of you in the classroom and you’ve been dying to know the answer since sophomore year 

so fuck it 

“hey ella, can i ask you a question?” 

the said girl looked up with that same friendly smile that she gave everyone “of course!” 

“why didn’t jaemin show up to hoco sophomore year?” you blurted out 

in an instant, ella’s smile dropped and there was a sudden cold look in her eyes 

“you already know the answer to that, y/n, you don’t need me to answer you. now if you excuse me, i have things i have to do” ella said in a very unlike-ella-way 

her answer made you even more confused than ever bc how were you supposed to know the answer to THAT 

confused!y/n is even more confused 

however, all your questions were about to be answered, not really tho 

you’re on your way to the third period with the same burning question in your head: why the hell did jaemin not show up to sophomore year hoco??? someone help?  

tbh you didn’t even notice someone yanking you into the janitor’s closet until you were surrounded in darkness and someone's hands were clasp over your mouth 

“it’s me, jaemin” his soft whisper sent tings down your spine 

he let go of your mouth to switch on the light 

“are you fucking insane?” 

“yes, but it’s only cause i’m madly in love with you” 

you rolled your eyes “cut the bullshit, jaemin, what do you want?” 

“our date. you never gave me a solid explanation, so i want a date” 

you were about to reject him but then an idea formed in your head 

“fine” 

and with that one-word jaemin’s eyes glowed 10x brighter with his smile almost blinding you 

cheesy i know. 

“let’s go now!” 

the boy was really about to skip class just to go on this stupid date w you 

is he that bored? did he really run out of girls to date? 

but then again you really don’t want to go to math bc you’re pretty sure there's a test today that you haven’t studied for yet 

so that’s how you found yourself with jaemin at the local ice cream parlor 

jaemin INSISTED that y'all share a sundae, which he also fought you to pay for 

there a silence that falls upon you for a little bit 

jaemin breaks it though like he breaks heart (okay minnie that’s kinda mean) 

“ella told me that you finished your half of the centerpieces in two days. that’s pretty impressive,” he comments 

you nodded staring at the ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup 

“to be honest, i haven’t gotten much done yet,” he admitted, continuing to ramble on “it’ll get done. i might even pay renjun to do it, but i’m pretty sure he’s too preoccupied with this girl that he’s been pining over for a while” 

“speaking of which, are you seeing anyone right now?” jaemin asks out of nowhere. 

“lol i could be doing other things with my time.” 

jaemin observes your face closely taking in the faint blush on your cheeks from his direct gaze, “so what about that haechan dude?” 

“what about him?” 

“are the two of you a thing?” 

you nearly gagged 

“there no way in hell i’d ever get with haechan. besides, he’s having some of his own girl problems right now. he was being a little bitch about it too” 

“good” jaemin says really contently. 

“why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year?” you finally asked

taken back slightly, jaemin softly smiles down at the half-eaten sundae

instead of answering you, he asked another question “why did you stop talking to me?” 

you gulp, but eventually, you had to tell him the truth even though it was kinda dumb and immature

“because ella was mad at me after the two of you broke up.” 

he shifted his gaze up to your own eyes 

“do you know why she was mad at you?” 

you shook your head

jaemin smiled again 

this time it kinda looked sad :( 

“because she knew that i was in love with you”  

[swinterr]

Valerie I

It all started last week, when Shawn dropped the teaser normally Valerie is a very supportive girlfriend but not on this one. He was filming his music video, Valerie is spending time with her family. Finally, the day when the music video drops, Valerie didn’t watched it even the teaser.

Social Media is Social Media some people can call it their safe place but she doesn’t for her, Social Media is a platform where you see what you don’t want to see. For her, Social Media is toxic everywhere you go it reeks negativity well some may had some positive energy with their post but not all, not all. She saw some pictures that she didn’t want to see.

Valerie remembers the day when Shawn told her that he and Camila are collaborating again, His eyes has this twinkling effect that only happened when he’s happy, well he is happy very happy indeed. Valerie congratulated Shawn on his new music video on how the editing looks so good even though she didn’t watched it how Shawn and Camila looked good together, everything she complemented. Days passed Shawn is back touring and Valerie is back at Massachusetts collecting some of her things on her dorm to take home.

Shawn is very busy touring, he enjoys singing, playing guitar, hanging out with his best friends Brian and Connor. Valerie is back home in Toronto with her family. She enjoys reading books, playing archery on their yard and boxing.

Finally it happened while Valerie is getting ready for their like family-reunion-party-for-4th-of-July a picture went viral on the internet.

Valerie is out with her family when she saw the pictures but on particular picture caught her eye, she is sitting on the couch next to her sister Viviane and his husband Seth. Vernon, his brother along with his wife Jess, Vernon talking about his son Milo and Laslo (who are playing with the table designs) with their cousin Andre and Viviane is holding is baby boy named Cupid. The Valentin’s are hosting a party in their hotel in Toronto. She is scrolling down her feed in Instagram, of course being a supportive girlfriend she follows #shawnmendes

Shawn and Camila are kissing, Valerie isn’t really the type of person who will just point out something wrong, she always gathers her information before speaking. Sometimes she will answer your question with a hum as, she hums she thinks about her words she will put in the sentences, she always makes sure she will use it in a good way she also try not to offend someone.

She has enough information with all the pictures she’s been tag in the video and clips of them, she had enough. She puts her phone down the marble table.

“Viv.” She spoked softly. Valerie has a sweet, soft, light and airy voice even if she’s mad or sad she never raises her voice.

Viviane noticed something in her voice she may have a soft voice but she sounds so fragile right now. “Yes Val, something wrong?”

Vernon and Andre stopped talking, all their attention is on Valerie. Even the kids.

Valerie looks so fragile her tired watery eyes glancing up at her sister as she tugs at her sleeves on her off shoulder long sleeved Dolce & Gabanna cotton blend dress, fighting back the tears, she tries to blink faster hoping it will dry but heavy tears started flowing down her rosy cheeks.

“Can I skip the party, I think my febrile response is kicking in again.”

Andre glances at Valerie’s phone. “Oh no.” he gasped. Valerie quickly took her phone back to her clutch.

“Please, I need some time alone.” Valerie didn’t wait for their answer as she walks towards her parent explaining her febrile response which literally just mean fever.

Little does she knows the group of five started talking about the said issue.

She also didn’t wait for her parents response she walked straight to the front door, not minding the paparazzi taking a picture of her crying. Her chauffeur is holding the car door for her.

She got into the car she closes her eyes, taking deep breaths in an effort to stop never ending flow of tears. She didn’t even wait to be home, she needs to talk to Shawn ASAP. She opened her Marc Jacob clutch and took her phone out.

“Hello?” Valerie’s hoarse voice spoke through the phone, she has been crying since the pictures had come out. Nonstop tears keeps on spilling in her $2,600 worth of dress she wore.

She keeps on calling him but no answer, Shawn wasted their 3 years together and she’s not gonna waste more again no answer so she just decided to text him a message.

To: my canada 💞

Hey shawn are you there? I’ve been calling you the last 15 minutes? Are you good? i’m not gonna kept this message long. What happened to us? Did I do something wrong? I though im forever? Were forever? You know what, why did you tell me that you don’t want me anymore, its much easier than you doing this? You said that you’re just friends but I had enough. I can’t be with someone who has allegedly been dating his best friend behind my back. You said this song could be a hit, I believed in you. I hope you’re happy this is the last time that I will tell you this I love you. I love you too much to let go but this is the right thing to do. Focus on things that will make you happy and successful. xoxo

That week has been really painful to Valerie she thought all the things she should have accomplished if she wasn’t with him. She could have graduate, Shawn recently finished his tour in Europe of couse they will go to Italy as one of the places they set and Valerie has an Italian blood loved that country so much that Shawn begged Andrew to take Valerie on tour with him. Sadly, Valerie has to take online classes but it’s okay as long as she is with Shawn.

People in the internet has been taging Valerie a lot, a picture of Shawn and Camila at a diner a 4 ‘o’clock in the morning, him picking her up on her acting lessons. Basically doing what couples are supposedly doing. Shawn isn’t that open and that sweet when they were together. They looks so good.

Valerie remebers that she send Shawn a messege last week, and clearly Shawn is so busy with his lifestyle he didn’t even read it! That week was horrible, Valerie and Shawn lived in the same condo in Toronto and she practically lived in their house in Pickering.

Too bad Shawn fucked the 3 years up. Maybe it’s time for a break. So she packed her bag and zoomed off to the airport on the way to her birth land, basically soul searching. Hoping that at least she will have a good time.

Valerie and Shawn has a bucket list together, they didn’t even finished it. Actually Valerie knew that they aren’t gonna last forever, its either she And Shawn will broke up because of long distance or Shawn being bored at Valerie or Shawn finding someone new in tour, well technically he didn’t find new he just reunited with her.

Shawn’s definition of love is love isn’t something you should chase because then it isn’t real you just kinda let it happend and that exactly what happened to them.

Maybe that’s the reason.

Valerie then made a new bucket list for her to complete.

1. Buy myself a new mansion in Los Angles and sell my old one and donate the money

2. Ride an helicopter

3. Buy an island

4. Study hard! Even if it’s summer

5. LOVE YOURSELF

She didn’t feel making a long one, she will just add something of she want.

Valerie should have graduated college but then she was too focused on Shawn, good thing she didn’t have bad grades. So she shall study and make up for the time she lost.

Turns out Valerie needs to be in LA with her family for a grand opening of their new hotel, maybe she will travel next time, she already contacted her friend Bella Hadid, Bella’s father and her father are friends. Bella knew what Valerie is feeling, I mean the pictures are all over internet, so Bella invited her girlfriends and hoped that Valerie will have a good time.

the real angst is on the next part. also sorry if i disappointed someone in my writing.

[fangirlish33-blog]

Loving Blindly

Harry is intrigued by a blind! Y/N who is very passionate about life. 

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first fic ever. I'm so excited to share it with you and I hope it reaches out. Initially I didn't wanted to write it but I just started and it took me about a week to complete this first part. A massive thank you to @loveandyourstrulyh for the pushing me to write and beta reading this. You have my heart Yev! and secondly, I want to thank @waitingfortwilight who wrote this amazing masterpiece Subtitles  which gave me inspiration. Make sure to read Kates entire masterlist! Taging @isntshelovelyharry because I told her I'll write a fic exactly one month and four days ago and she told me to tag her. 

PART 1: Word Count (2k+)

Los Angeles is no doubt a celebrity’s favorite place apart from New York. Just like that, it was Harry’s favorite for two reasons, one; access to his favorite studios and two, coffee shops. Whenever he would come to L.A for holidays, he would always go to different coffee shops. But today he wanted to go to that one shop where he felt like home. He finished his morning work-out earlier than usual, so he took a shower and decided to jog to his go-to place, ‘Dorothy’s Garden’.

Not only did Harry loved the coffee and those delicious chocolate chip cookies but he also loved the whole setting of this coffee shop. The shop is situated a little out of the main city, blocking it from the usual buzz of people and bumper-to-bumper traffic. The entrance is lined with flowers of different kinds. The path leading to the front, glass door is hidden from the sky by green, giant vines of Virginia creepers.

Harry was introduced to this place by Mitch when they were writing songs. Mitch had spent time in the coffee shop before because the owner of the shop, Dorothy, was his cousin. Harry soon grew fond of this place. It provided him the right amount of focus and calmness to pen his feelings in the form of verses.

Harry pushed the glass door open, the attached bell dinging, announcing the entrance of a customer. Dorothy emerged from the kitchen which was hidden, to attend to her customer, “Ah… I was expect-”, her sentence is cut “Harry!”, she shrieked and hopped a little, like an excited fan, her excitement telling her that she wasn’t expecting him. She wasted no time in opening the small door separating the counter from the shop and pulled him in for a hug. He hugged her back. Her blonde hair is shorter than last time. One thing that is always different in the woman he has arms around. But some things that don’t change is her attire, love for him and the warmth of her hug.  

“Well, g'morning to you too Dotty,” she detached herself from him, looking up at him. “I wasn’t expecting you, like at all,” she waved her hand. “ Yes, I can see that from all the shrieking you did right there,” he mimicked her, “And the fact that you said you were expecting someone, while clearly, it was not me.”

“Oh, that’s Y/N. She’s my new customer. Usually, come around this time. I was preparing her order but, now I guess I had to make another one.”, she smiles at him.

“So, you’re earlier than usual in this visit.”, she says, as she stands with her back to the counter.

“Wow, so now you count how many times I visit, huh?”, he teased her, arms crossing on his chest. “I mean, yeah I do sometimes when I miss you. But, see here’s the thing, last time you visited me with a gap of a month was when you had a break-up with tha’ Kardashian chick.”, she air-quoted.

Harry laughed at her comment. She gestured towards the nearby table and he took a seat. She, on the other hand, took a wiping cloth and initiated mission 'cleaning the tables’, she did double clean always once in the morning after the opening and one after closing. She started from the one Harry was sitting on. There was no one in the shop except him and Dotty, he blamed that on the early time and due to the fact that it was Saturday otherwise, she was always snowed under a lot of work.

“First off, she’s a Jenner.”, he raised his index finger, “and secondly, her name is Kendall.”, he raised his middle finger along with index, “ and thirdly”, he sighed,  “ I don’t wanna say it.”, he spoke slowly, “but you’re right, I had a break-up.”, he pursed his lips together. Dorothy’s eyes widened. “Bad one.”, he added. It’s not like she didn’t try, she tried her damndest, but she gave up, laughing hard.

He rolled his eyes. “Okay stop. Like I’m so upset!”, he exclaimed, slapping his palm on the table lightly. She took deep breaths and at last stopped her high-pitched laugh. She moved across the tables and sat on the chair right beside him. He was pouting slightly. She smiled at him.

“Okay, I was seriously joking.”, she leaned against the back of the chair, “What’s the bird’s name?”, she asked him.

“Camille.”, he sighed heavily, “She was a blonde too.”, he says flatly

“Was she? Never heard of her. Seriously.”, she spotted dirt on her side of the table and wiped it quickly, “ Wait! by stating that she’s blonde you wanna tell me that my theory is correct?”, she asked enthusiastically.

“Well, yeah I guess.”, he says, “I mean, I’m still a good friend with Kendall.”

“And she wasn’t a blonde.”, you point out.

“Exactly. But, Taylor, Cara, and Camille are all blonde and well.”, he sighs, “they all ended up drastically.”

“Well I can’t tell you to stop dating blondes, But really Take. A. Break.. ”, she said, stressing each word. “It’ll be difficult to keep tha’ in your pants.”, Harry looks down at his crotch instinctively, “ I know it’ll be hard. But, you gotta do it.”, she teases him.

“Stop that!”

“You!”, she point at him, Stop whining. It'll be alright don't you worry, okay?, he nods his head. 

“Good! now let’s get to business. Should I bring you your espresso with thick forth and those creepy ingredients you love?”, she scrunches her nose.“ Hey!”, he tries to act offended.

Dotty opens the small door without waiting for an answer because one year of staying with a dork that Harry is, is enough to know a simple answer from him. She enters the kitchen while Harry pulls his phone out of the pocket to see some messages from producers who are working with him on his second album.

***

You are usually accompanied by your friend to Dotty’s but today she didn’t come so you decided to go on your own. Your mother tried to stop you but failed. You knew she cared about you that’s why she didn’t let you go alone. But it wasn’t helping matters. In fact, it was making you more sheepish, whiny and lazy. All the traits you hated.

When you were a child, you hated it. Hated the darkness always surrounding you. It was everywhere. By the time you turned a teenager, you realized it’s not about the light in eyes, it’s about the light inside hearts. All the bullying and teasing for sole reason of lacking a sense. The thing you have no control over, made you stronger. Stronger than other women of your age and now at the age of twenty-three, It doesn’t even matter. You just let the whisper blow in the wind.

You take a hold of the cool, metal handle and push the hard door open. The difference in the air is mesmerizing you. Harry’s attention is diverted when you enter the shop. He is watching you as you take a deep breath. The cane in your hand and the certain way your eyes move showing him that you’re blind.

Usually, Amanda, your friend would make the order and let you sit but today it was different. You come to a halt when your cane is blocked by a hard surface. Taking this as a cue, you call Dorothy in a slow voice. “Is anyone there? Dorothy?”, you ask. When you lack a sense, all the pressure comes to your other senses. You can’t see but, this makes your hearing strong. Stronger than an average person. It’s strange but it also makes you able to feel presence, if someone is staring at you.

“Um… hey, are you Y/N?”, a deep, male voice comes from just a few feet distance startling you a little. You whip your head in the voice’s direction getting the hint that he was probably the one staring at you.

“Yes, I am.”, You’re certain that you’ve never introduces yourself to that voice but, you’re also certain you’ve heard this voice before. The deep, husky voice seeming oddly familiar to you. Like… Like you’ve heard this voice a thousand times before in the form of a record. And it hits you.

“Are you… Harry Styles?”, You asked hesitantly.

Harry lets out a quiet laugh. He can’t believe you recognized him without seeing him, not even once. But, then maybe you can see and the cane was not for you to use.

“Um… yeah I thought you can’t see”, he stops himself and covers his mouth with his hands but the words already tumbled out. He looks at you with wide eyes and quickly tries to compose a response that is more appropriate.

“Shit! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”, he apologized.

“It’s okay. It happens. But I can hear you, right?”, you put on a smile to let him know that it was okay, that you didn’t mind it, not even the slightest.

He replied with a small, sad “yes”. “Just on time!”, you heard Dorothy’s voice echoing, “How are you?”, she asked before she pulled you in for a hug and then took you to the nearest table. You think it is the table where Harry is sat because you can feel his presence. “I’m fine Dorothy. What about you?”

"Never better. By the way, Where is Amanda? Not in the scene right now.", She asks.

"Oh, she was sleeping. So, I didn't woke her up."

Dorothy looks at Harry, smiling seeing him watch you speak.

She introduces you to Harry and asked if you’ve listened his ‘boring’ album to which he probably reacted in some ‘unnoticeable’ way because you can hear a grunt from him. “His album isn’t boring Dotty. It is one of the best from our type of generation who has no taste in music.”, you praised him and it’s not like you are trying to gain brownie points in front of him or that you’re his fan because you’re none. You’ve never even heard about him but, your friend was his fan. So, when she bought the album and played it, you can’t help but see how genuine his music really was.

“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”, Harry speaks. He extends his hand, a normal habit, he guesses. He waits until Dorothy picks your hand and places it until it is in Harry’s hand. Realization hits him like a truck that you cant see him. He makes a mental note to keep it glued in his mind for future. Although he is pretty much sure there will be no future.

You take his hand shaking it slightly. It felt as if chills ran down your spine. The simple feeling of his soft hands upon yours felt different, so different from the other men you’ve ever touched. It felt right. A small gasp left your lips and despite it being small, Harry notices it and smiles to himself. Not only does he notice the gasp but, he also notices how your cheeks turned rosy pink after just a slight contact. He is shocked by your reaction to him, wondering if it is normal.

Although, his shocking is cut-short with your reply of, “Pleasure is all mine, Mr. Styles.” He suppressed a laugh.

“Oh no, please call me Harry.”, he insists. Harry is sure he has never seen a pair of more beautiful eyes. He loved the way your eyes moved, saddened to realize that they can’t see the world. Saddened that despite being there, they provided you no light.

“I’m sorry for being extra late today in bringing you coffee.”, Dorothy apologized, before handing you a steaming coffee cup.

“No, it’s alright.”, you say and Harry mutters a small thank you, most probably to Dorothy. “Hey Y/N, why don’t you do that feeling thing on Harry you did with me the other day?”, Dorothy shocks you before taking a sip from her cup.

“Um…no, I don’t think so. It’s not necessary, I… I can hear him”, you shift uncomfortably on your seat. You can’t do that on him because he already feels different. You felt different when you touched his hand, you can’t fathom the feeling of touching his face.

“Oh c’mon. It’s okay.”, Dorothy huffs, dragging the ‘okay’ a little longer.

“What ‘feeling thing’?”, Harry asks curiously, his interest is piqued.

“Oh… didn’t I told you before, she touches ones face to feel how they look.”, Dorothy wriggles her eyebrows at Harry. “Really?”, he is pretty much sure he already wants that, “Yeah isn’t it cool. I mean it’s helpful for her.”

You can practically feel the heat radiating off your cheeks. You don’t want to do it but, at the same time, you do. You hesitantly nod your head when she begs you to do it.

You raise your free hands in the air towards him. At first, they just roam in the air but then Harry takes a hold of your wrists and direct them to his own face. You let your fingertips graze his forehead. His skin is soft but clammy due to perspiration. You move your fingers further down his eyebrows, letting them fall on his eyelids as he closes his eyes upon touching, you graze down to his cheekbones but stop when they fall on his upper lip, he instinctively wets his dry lips. The tips of your fingers drag on his lips which are slightly wet. His lower lip, broader than the upper one and soft. So soft. His beath fan across your tips which you gently move down. Ending the journey at his chin, you lift your hands from his face.  

Harry's breathing is erratic and he is trying to control it by taking a deep breath. He is trying his best but, right now he desperately wants to shout or moan or just do something in order to relieve some of his pent-up frustration. He is pretty sure no one has ever touched him so smoothly yet, carefully and it was just that; an innocent touch yet, he felt its effect down to his bones. He can’t help but remember that your fingers had just stopped at his eyes and lips a tad bit longer. His heart is still beating way too fast and he is curious about yours. Curious, whether yours is beating like that too.

A voice of clearing throat pulls him out of his fantasy. He looks around and notices that Dorothy is standing behind the station and his co-worker has now arrived. They are preparing drinks for several people who are sitting on various tables. "Did you say something?", he asks you as there is no one else who will clear their throat to get his attention.

"Yes. What is your eye color Harry?", you were almost afraid to ask but, you did at last. You just wanted to complete the feeling as there was just no image. What is even an image?He didn’t respond when you asked for the first time so, you just cleared your throat.

"Green.", he replies. Green must be a beautiful colour that is why a man whose soft like him got it. You're sure you don't even need eyes to tell that he is in fact handsome. A kind of handsome that people call hot. You nod your head indicating him that you understand, but clearly didn’t. To you green, blue, white, orange all are same. They are all colors. The only difference is the name. But, only for you.

You take the last sip from your cup and place it down. "Are you a student?", he asks timidly.

"No, I'm an ASL teacher at a deaf school.", you tell him. You can call yourself lucky in that sense. When you tell other people who are blind, they are shocked because most of them remained jobless for a long time. Job opportunities are scarce for people like you.   

Harry is sure his eyes will pop out of there sockets. "What?", he is baffled by your response.

" ASL stands for-”

“I know what it stands for. I’m just… shocked.”

“Why is everyone response is surprised when I tell them I'm a sign-language teacher?", you laugh.

"I mean… it is a surprise.", he smooths his hair from his forehead, "Like… you can't see and you teach children who can't hear. It's just…", he sighs. He's clearly shocked to see a woman like you. So powerful and headstrong. He was even more astonished when he hears your response to what he said. How can one do so much for her community and be humble about it? Harry wondered. He took the time to admire your beauty and he only knew you for a short time though it seemed like hours had already passed.  To him, it's endearing and is encouraging him to know you more. More than already. He is pretty sure that he will stick more than one mental note for future reference.

"It's what Harry?", you ask him again.

"It's endearing Y/N. It's bloody amazing."

***

Share with me what you think about Loving Blindly, here!

[c-j-writes]

Fictober 2019

Prompt #5 “I might just kiss you.”

[Untitled Gay Mess]

Rating: T

Warnings/Tags: Will involve drug abuse in later chapters

Chapter Five

“It’s a stable fracture, so I’m going to recommend you to an orthopedic doctor who can replace the temporary cast. I’d get an appointment as soon as one’s available if you can, it’s not good to keep it out of a cast.” 

The doctor rambled on about getting an appointment and the dangers of going without treatment while my father and I nodded along. My eyes were having trouble focusing. I kept trying to watch the x-ray slides as she put them on the screen, but the blue-tinted picture just made my head swirl. 

How could this be happening? I haven’t so much as broken a bone in my entire life, but here comes one of the most important years of my life and I break my ankle. This year was supposed to be about soccer and getting recruited and making sure my fitness levels were perfect. How am I going to get recruited with a broken ankle? 

What if it doesn’t heal right? This is something that could affect the rest of my future. I don’t have a plan that doesn’t include soccer. My life is soccer. What am I supposed to do if this means I can’t play?

Why couldn’t I have kept my thoughts under control? If I hadn’t been distracted I wouldn’t have tripped up like that. If I’d been more focused. Why can’t I just stay focused? Last year, I was perfect, my only focus was the game and the team. Then this summer came and… 

My mind jumped to the first day I had been planning on practicing over the summer. My schedule was only until two in the afternoon, leaving plenty of time to head home and play outback. A head full of short, brown hair and a grin that made my stomach flip in an uncomfortable way stopped me as I left the shop. She asked me if I wanted to hang out on the beach and that smile made me lose all of my thoughts. 

Growing up near the beach made the novelty of it wear off quickly, so by high school, I rarely went unless there was a party. But something about her excitement or the look in her eyes, like she could see right through me, got to me. We stayed out there for hours. Lazing on the sand and splashing our feet around in the shallows. I told her about growing up in Riverside and she went on and on about living in some backwater town in Northern Oregon. 

By the time my father was messaging to ask if I'd be home soon, soccer had slipped my mind completely. The next day, instead of thinking about how long I could practice after I got home from work, I packed a bathing suit and a towel, just in case. I’d never given up soccer so easily. If anything came between me and the sport, I always put up a fight. But there was something about her that took all of my attention in a matter of seconds. My focus took a toll when I met her. 

“So, how long until she can be back on the field?” My father asked, bringing me crashing back to the present. Back to this nightmare. The doctor had soft, tired eyes, which was understandable being an ER doctor. I looked down at her name tage. Dr. Ortiz.

“She’s going to have to be off of the ankle completely for two months, that’s when the cast can come off. After that, I’d suggest physical therapy for a few more months until your therapist gives the go-ahead for strenuous activity.” 

“What can she do in the meantime, for soccer practice? She’s got scholarships to uphold.” I could tell he was annoying the poor woman. Her eyes seemed to be even more tired every minute and cold as she stared at my father.

“Well, you would have to talk to the orthopedic specialist about that specifically, because all I can tell you is that if she pushes it too far before it heals, she could be out of commission for a few years or worse.” My heart dropped to the table underneath me. The panic was rising in me, my fingers tapping on the table and my breath getting shallow. Dr. Ortiz glanced at me and her eyes lost all the frost they’d been holding in them. “But as long as you follow the directions the ortho specialist gives you, you’ll be fine. This is a minor injury, it could’ve been a lot worse.” 

She was trying to make me feel better about it and I appreciated the effort, but it was all I could do to keep from tearing up right there. I knew my father wouldn’t be happy if I started crying. We don’t show weakness like that. As it was, my father already looked pissed as hell. His face was stoic and his arms were crossed. He was not happy.

“Now, I’m going to put a temporary cast on for now and we’re going to get you some crutches, but you have to promise me you’re going to be making an appointment with a specialist immediately, okay?” She gave me a smile. I noticed she wasn’t talking to my father anymore, just me. Under different circumstances, I would’ve found it funny. I nodded, trying to calm down my mind. She walked over to the cabinets across the room and pulled out whatever she would need for a temporary cast.

Glancing around the room, I tried to focus on any of the simple everyday things. The white walls, the tile floor, the plastic chair in the corner. Anything to hold onto so my mind would stop drifting. My father huffed a bit and muttered something about needing to use the bathroom as he left the room. I took a deep breath and cleared my head, relaxing my shoulders and arms. It was surprising that he hadn’t yelled at me yet. An injury this close to the season? He’s probably worried sick that I’ll lose my chance at recruitment. And he doesn’t even know about my academics yet. 

“How are you holding up right now?” Dr. Ortiz asked. She walked in front of me to start wrapping my ankle.

“I’m fine,” I replied, paying attention to her hands as they gently wrapped the gauze around the swollen appendage. 

“Sometimes parents show their concern in odd ways, but almost always they only want what’s best for their children.” Yeah, he wants me to get my shit together and make it into a university on a soccer scholarship. 

“I know.” 

“You’re gonna be fine, you’re healthy, young, and smart, this is going to heal in no time.” God, I hope so. 

I nodded. 

“Want to tell me how it happened?” 

I had told the simple version when we got there and my dad showed up. That I had an accident at practice. I didn’t want to own up to him that I’d been that distracted and actually tripped, he’d never get off my back about controlling my footwork and keeping my head out of the clouds. It didn’t really matter if I told Dr. Ortiz though, it wasn’t like she’d scold me on proper gameplay. 

“I was playing against a friend of mine, we’re both pretty good so it’s a killer match up when we’re on opposite teams. I had a lot on my mind and she tried to steal the ball and I tripped up, landed on my ankle instead. It was a stupid move.” She smiled at my comment, still looking down at my ankle. “I know, I know, I’m supposed to think about how everyone makes mistakes and all that.”

“I wasn’t going to say that. I have a daughter who plays soccer and it sounds like you pulled a dumb move there.” I guess I was wrong about her not scolding me. 

“You have a daughter who plays?” There weren’t that many schools around here if her daughter played, I probably knew her, even if she was JV. 

“I do, she goes to Staghorn.” 

“Oh, they almost beat us for regionals last year.” She was nodding along, but I wasn't sure if she was actually paying attention or not. “They might this year if I don’t figure this out.” I lifted my ankle a bit to emphasize my point and winced as it shot with pain. Dr. Ortiz 

“Listen, Darling,” she looked me in the eyes and continued, “they’re going to beat you either way because my daughter’s on that team.” I laughed, rolling my eyes. I guess all soccer parents are the same because my dad would’ve said the same thing. 

Darian nearly crushed me in a hug as we made it out to the waiting room. I tried to hug her back, but the crutches under my arms got in the way.

“Careful, you idiot,” I commented, but the sting was softened by the laugh that followed. I watched my father walk towards the door, but I figured he could wait for me for a few minutes. She looked up at me and I’d never seen her look as scared as she did at that moment. 

“What did the doctor say?” She asked, stepping out of my personal space. 

“It’s gonna take some time and some rehab, but there’s a good chance I’ll be back on the field by the time the season starts,” I replied, giving her a weak smile. She sighed dramatically, pretending to wipe sweat from her brow.

“Oh, thank God! I might just kiss you, I am so happy you’re gonna be okay.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me again, dropping her forehead to rest on my shoulder. 

“That’s barring any further complications, that is, so if you knock  me over with your damn hugs, it might make it worse.” She backed off, rolling her eyes and sticking her tongue out at me like a child. “Very mature.” I started limping my way to the door with Darian following beside me. 

“It’s what I’m known for.” 

“You know, you’re gonna have to keep the team in check while I’m out of commission.”

“Shit, we’re gonna be so bad by the time you get back if you trust me with that.”

[star-veil]

‘ adrenaline allure ‘

 today we’re trying indents! crossdressing assassin? I think yes this is all @captainx-camino​‘s fault

      “If you ever speak of this to anyone we know, you will be sleeping on the floor for the next month.”

       “C’mon, you look beautiful.”

       Poe wasn’t usually one for the city. It was loud, dirty usually, but filled with his kind of people. rebels, risk-takers, and flyboys- and the most lovely of them, too. 

       When General Organa offered up an undercover mission on one of Naboo's prime gambling cities, Poe wasn’t about to turn this opportunity down- and he wasn’t about to let Armitage escape unscathed. 

       This was definitely worth it. Being able to sport a fancy-looking suit (It was Joph’s, Poe didn’t own a single thing that wasn’t stained with jet fuel and deicing fluid) and take a trip to a place that sparkled like a gem in the regal planet of Naboo. The city was lit like a sun, even at night, and was constantly roaring with life. Just the place Poe loved to be- where the action was.

       “Planetfall in ten minutes,” He announced to the cabin compartment in the small, unmarked shuttle. Better to arrive unnoticed by their adversaries and enemies. It was small, Cygnus-Produced though Poe couldn’t name the model. Flew well, fast and lithe, sensitive under his control and fast with so little mass to the main fuselage and body. 

       But there were more important things to think about than shuttles. Though he wouldn’t admit it, he was a little nervous about this excursion. Focusing on the starship was an unnoticed mechanic of combatting that, and the moment he turned his attention to the city getting closer by the moment, Poe felt a wave of nauseating anxiety that rattled him a little. Quickly covering his composure, Poe leaned back to shoot a smile ‘Tage’s way.

       “Ready?”

       He gave him a death-glare, but Poe didn’t take it to heart.

       They both fit right into the shining allure of the city. Nobody even spared Poe a glance, but knowing well Armie was a dashing man, he wouldn’t have been surprised if the other man yelled at someone for checking him out.

       “So?” He spoke up, a growl growing in the back of his throat. “Where’s the target?”

       “Should be right over here,” Poe set one hand against Armitage’s waist, guiding him to the left where a couple of steps on the corner of a street leading through twin glass doors into a bustling casino- and instantly Poe felt blinded.

       Gold lined nearly everything. From the wall trim to the tables and chairs, decked out in richness and elegance that gave off the aesthetic vibe of a kingdom. No wonder Naboo ran on a monarchy, it was practically bursting with color, with sound and style. The people, all laughs and jewellery, gathered along the bar where bottles of Corellian wine lined the back wall, or standing around game tables, throwing dice and flicking cards like it was second-nature. Glancing around at the variety of species, Poe also worried they would have trouble finding their target. 

       “Lead the way, then.” Poe looked up as Armitage spoke then, and for the first time since he’d first seen his outfit, felt a bit breathtaking. Right here in the atmosphere of a gilded party, ‘Tage fit right in.

       Jess had picked out the dress. She spent a full hour with Armitage, holding up different outfits to him and making little assessments before moving on. 

       “It’s gotta be perfect!” She had exclaimed. “You are going to be the most dashing man on that planet. You just wait.”

       The dress curved to his body perfectly, highlighting every bit of him that Poe loved so much. It was black, with lace across his upper chest and arms, showing pale skin through the laced floral patterns, the skirt cut at his waist with a sashed ribbon tied in a neat bow at his lower back, and the skirt flowed around his legs like silk. Cutting just above the knee, giving focus to the heels that Jess had absolutely insisted he wears. 

       “It’s important!” She had cried.

       “Just stay social. Try to chat it up with some folks, see if we can figure out where our target is.”

       And they did just that.

       Poe had, at some point, found his way to the bar. After speaking with several Keshians, and winning a round of Sabacc, he had settled with a glass of some kind of expensive alcohol and opted for watching the crowd, the velvet of his suit smoothed out with a stray hand before he moved to brush a few curls out of his forehead. No matter how much he brushed his hair back, a few rebellious locks would always stay free. 

       Across the casino, he spotted a familiar head of red hair, the sly smile accompanying it. Hux was fawning over some important-looking man in a tux, one hand brushing down his back, speaking in a hushed voice that Poe couldn’t read through the loudness. 

     He was so incredibly alluring in the way he carried himself, in the way he arched his back ever so slightly and the flow of the dress would carry with him, fluttering around his lithe legs. 

       Poe found himself staring, and blinked away-

       But then there was the sound of a holster clicking open and a widespread gasp across the entire room as Poe jumped to his feet and grabbed underneath his jacket to where the glie-44 waited, hidden and-

       “Get the fuck out of here, New Republic asshole!”

       Through the panic of the crowd and Poe’s own flooding adrenaline, it took a moment to find the offender, but he froze as the muzzle of a blaster looked head-on to him. Behind it, their target. Damnit. Fucking damnit. 

       “Woah, calm down there, buddy-”

       “The Senate is corrupt, you fuck! And none of your damn assassins can take me out, or my sympathizers!” The target waved his weapon wildly, and Poe flinched. “I would tell you to bring that message to your superiors but you won’t make it out of here alive, officer scum...”

       As with everything it was fast and in a flash, but suddenly there was a flare of a muzzle from his side and he felt a push to his side, toppling sideways into a couple of chairs- but out of the line of fire. Out of most danger.

       “Hux!” Poe shouted on instinct, grappling with the commotion to try to get to his feet, but his partner ducked beside him and tugged at his wrist, blaster in his other hand, keeping them down below cover as screams filled the space.

       “Stay down,” Armitage warned, crouching with the blaster held to his chest, and Poe noticed a bolt had grazed his arm, the lace at his shoulder frayed and burnt away. 

      He looked so fucking hot.

       “Copy...” Poe muttered, and with that Armitage burst upward again and extended his firearm. The sound of shattering bolts lit up the now emptying casino and glass fell around them- something had hit the lights.

       Above him, Armitage cried out and stumbled back. “Your blaster, Poe, fucking shoot him!”

       Muscle memory grabbed for the weapon and burst upward, dashing forward to slide to the right, barely hitting a table of cards that fluttered around him as he squeezed the trigger and let a volley of plasma rain down in the possible general direction of their target. He must have sorely missed because something hit him from the side and then he was hand-to-hand with a man with far more adrenaline than him.

       One hit to the side, grab his gun away but feel it kicked from his grasp-

       Put weight behind the punch and recover before rushing him again-

       “Duck!”

       A flash, far too close for comfort, and then it was over. Poe was left standing there, dazed, ringing echoing in his ears and the ghost of the muzzle flare still dancing in his gaze.

      Their target slumped dead over the bar.

       Armitage dropped his blaster, stepping forward- heels clicked against the littered ground. How on earth had he stayed upright during that fight?

       “Let’s go home.”

       ‘Tage pressed a little peck to his cheek, hand touching at his waist to guide the dazed pilot home.