#so if i did tear up when i saw his dumb cravat that's on me ugh 😭

[ozymandiasdirge]

sabo!!!!!!!!!! my favorite unhinged blonde freak!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! and even more importantly the coliseum subplot has ended!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sashi-ya]

Hi sashiii ❤️ I saw your recent event and I was wondering if I could request Ace x fem!reader with a Romeo and Juliet kind of trope? (But with the happy ending of course 😉) Forbidden lovers planning on running away together and they finally meet but can’t seem to keep their hands of each other? And it can be NSFW please 🧚🏼‍♀️❤️ thank you so much I hope you find this prompt fun 🙈

Hii beautiful!! of course!! I did actually not just use the "Romeo and Juliet" torpe, but also made a little adaptation of it!! I hope you like it!! thank u for requesting! 💖

👑 Oh, Royal Lust Event ~ Royals AU event.

𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 ~ 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐠𝐚𝐬 𝐃. 𝐀𝐜𝐞 𝐱 𝐅! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

tw: inspired on Romeo & Juliet, it's my own adaptation to Shakespeare's work of art, with a good ending (or maybe not, who knows, maybe both died and they find themselves in the after life... is up to you to decide which path chose). nsfw. oral sex, romantic and fluffy vag sex.

wc: 2.9k

Want more? visit the masterlist

The freckled boy, the son of your enemies. The sun that shines always on his beautiful noble manor and his gardens. His wavy black hair flows with the wind, and his shirt always ends up in the ground when he trains during the afternoons. And he knows, the daughter of his father’s enemy looks at him from her own room, high, high in a stone tower.

His eyes sometimes meet, and the pupils burn, burn in desire…Because they are enemies, yes. But they are also lovers. They love each other.  But nobody has to know.

The sun sets, the night comes and as the stars form constellations on the sky, his freckles do over his cheeks. Cheeks you got the chance to caress, so soft, so sweet.

“Name! Name!” he calls you from outside your windows. You widen your eyes, is that… him? The flowy fabrics of your night gown shine with the moonlight that filters in between the curtains as you walk towards your balcony.

"Ace? Ace! Where are you? I can't see you!"

Suddenly, him. He is quick and strong, and you suspect he has been training hard his body just to be able to climb to your room.

“Hi…” Ace whispers, always so respectful of you. “Ace… I told you we shouldn’t do this! What if our families find out?” you whisper back, so happy, and so scared because he has crawled up your balcony in the middle of the night. “If we broke the truce the Prince put for us, we will have to pay with our lives at sword point”

Ace sighs, it’s painful for him to be so close and yet so far from you. And frankly, your heart aches too. But you know you have to wait because love always wins, right?

“I’m really sorry, (Name)… I couldn’t look at you from my garden any longer, I needed to have you in my arms” he says, coming closer to your lips. His slightly tanned skin, his mouth so tempting.  “Let’s run away. They will never stop hating each other, (Name)” he urges, as you go dumb just by the warm breath over your lips. “I don’t care about dying, as long as I can be with you”

You have to stop yourself from kissing him, and from crying. How is he planning on running away? They will notice, you will be found by the guards.

“Do you remember the first time I saw you?” he asks, remembering that banquet that he attended uninvited to find his brother’s lover and try to convince her to go back to Sabo. You nod, how could you forget the dance where it was announced you were looking for a husband. A husband you weren’t allowed to choose. “I do… you were the one who illuminated my life, Ace”

Ace sits properly on your balcony and pulls you closer, your face rests on his chest and his arms surround your frame. “Since then, I wanted to marry you… would you marry me?” he says, kissing the crown of your head. If there is something this man masters is beautiful romanticism without even trying.

Your eyes become watery, and there is nothing you would like more in this world than marrying the man you love instead of a random Count of your Kingdom. “A-Ace… of course I want to” you mumble, grabbing his clothes in tight fists and crying over the teared cravat of his shirt.

His hands land on the small of your back, pushing you even closer against his body. Then, warm fingers graze your chin up. His blazing eyes fix in yours, and the tip of your noses touch. The sweetest kiss follows, star-crossed lovers that have so much passion ready to be unleashed.

Will it be tonight? Will it be this, a beautiful hot summer night, the night where their bodies melt?

“(Name)!! Is everything all right?” your nanny’s voice echoes from outside your room, the noble young girl has to be monitored, she is a lady that must be respected and taken care of until you are walked down the aisle to another disgusting noble man.

You quickly break up the kiss, your face inspires true terror. But Ace knows how to ease your fear so easily… “Calm down, I got a plan! Wait for me, tomorrow night I will help you scape. Do you trust me?” he asks, brushing your hair back and earning a nod from you, putting blind faith on him.

He crunches over the balcony, grabbing his fancy burnt orange beret. “See you tomorrow, I love you” he mouths. And just when your nanny opens your door he jumps off and disappears into the night.

“Is the lady ok?” you nanny asks, coming towards a startled you. The warm breeze of Verona kisses your cheeks, and your heart pumps faster than ever. “I- I am…” you barely mumble, with eyes fixed into a marine blue velvety sky.

You server turns you around to discover some tears running down your face, she cleans them and sends you to sleep. “Still thinking on that young child of the Portgas, right?” she asks, helping you get into bed. “Tomorrow night will be a big night, Lady (Name). You will meet your future husband in the banquet” she says, tucking your sheets under your armpits.

But… I’ve already met him…

A new day has started with many servants getting you ready for the big night, you were made even to take a bath in milk and roses. Your hair, your nails, everything should be perfect for the party. Your beauty should be enhanced to the maximum… what a futile attempt to make you happy.

And as the night came, with your eyes always looking at the gardens of your manor, you never once thought Ace’s promises will be empty ones…

The banquet was noisy, violins, cellos, and everybody would wait for the tarantella to be played just to dance with their future lovers. And there it is, the man that will marry you… but Ace… where is Ace?

“Come on, (Name). Smile a little, we have accepted your request to wait a few months to get married. Now show some gratitude” your mother tells you, annoyed at your sadness. “Yes, mother…” you answer back, forcing a smile that’s painful and not real.

But, like a sun through the door, a little funny clown appears to animate the nobles and riches getting their bellies stuffed of the most gourmets preparations. “I’m the God of the sun! of laughter! Please, those drums of liberation!! Play that song for me!” the buffoon says, stretching himself and jumping all around.

You smile, it’s inevitable not to do so. He indeed looks like the Sun, a Sun in the middle of a night… and the drums of liberation? What does he mean?

Dancing to the sound of the barrels he comes closer and stands in front of you. “SHI SHI SHI! You must be the young lady, the star of this night!” he says, and quickly snatches some meat from your plate. 

You can’t help but laugh at such lack of respect, he is too cute not to do so. He stretches his cheeks and shows you a big smirk, his eyelids have paintings and in his forehead the word meat.

“You like the stars when they form galaxies in the sky, (Name)?” he asks, all of a sudden. “Do you know I have a brother who has them all over his face?”.

You quickly understand what he meant… is this Ace’s plan? “I love them, I love the stars” you tell him, Ace is a true star.

“Cool, then, you should go to the kitchen after the party, I’ve heard you will find the way towards the stars if you eat something sweet! I did find the path towards the sun eating your meat! Thanks!” he whispers and jumps away to keep entertaining the party.

You are left startled. Ace…

You couldn’t wait much longer, of course you couldn’t. And right after the last person left the place and everybody was wasting his time fawning on a Count way older than you, drooling and waiting for a couple of months to pass to have you in his arms, you ran to the kitchen.

“Chef Sanji!” you find the blonde chef of your mansion smoking in his workplace after a long night of hard work.

His blonde locks move when he turns around to you, a sweet smile and a cigarette hanging from his lips. “Beautiful (Name)-san” he salutes you.

“I have come for something… sweet?” you ask him, well aware one of your guards is waiting right outside the window. Probably he had been chatting with Chef Sanji, even though they don’t usually get along.

Sanji lets a little chuckle out; his expression shows how much he understands what you just said. “To find the road to the stars?” he asks, opening a little wooden cabinet from the kitchen. “Uh…” you think twice about saying yes, the guard is looking at you with his single eye.

“Calm down, he is here to help you too… Lady (Name)” he sweetly whispers, putting in your hand a little truffle and looking at the guard with a cute smile. You observe the little dessert over your palm, and then to the cook and the green haired guard.

You open your mouth and close it again several times, what is that supposed to do? How is it going to help finding Ace?

“Eat this, it’s as sweet as spicy. It may burn a little, but then, the sweet chocolate will ease it. Just like love, (Name). You will fall asleep for a day; you will be safe. You will be taken to Dr. Marco. You know him?” Sanji asks.

You nod, Dr. Marco has always been your family doctor. But it was also the Portgas family’s doctor too… “Thank you guys…” you whisper, taking the truffle and letting the burning sensation in your tongue numb your life as you run through the halls of your home.

A new Sun awakens the cobbled streets of Verona, the heat of a summer over Italy make some flowers still shy to open after a long night.

You lay on your bed, completely unconscious. No response, even the strongest knocks on your door does not wake you up. Door that’s open by your nanny and mother, to find an inert body resting over your bed.

“My dear (Name)!” “Call Dr. Marco right away! She is not breathing!”

Doctor Marco fixes his glasses as he tries to find a little bump that would indicate your heart is beating on your cold wrist. But he says he cannot find it. You are gone, for ever…

Left over the stone of your future grave, your family members cry heartbroken. How did that happen? Why have you passed away? So young, so beautiful… Roses surround your body, all around that stone where your back rests. Your hands crossed over your belly and your hair let down framing your peaceful façade.

A dying sun caresses your cold skin with orangey rays that filter from the garden, the sky is tinted in lilac and the summer breeze plays with the silky fabric of your dress. The night slowly comes, and with that your family leaves your grave to rest, perhaps, a little.

“I’m here…” you hear, a whispering voice that warms your heart. “I’m already here, I’m sorry if I made you wait”

Soft hands over your cheeks, the warmth of his lips on your forehead. Slowly easing the comatose state, you were in by kisses and caresses, loving touches, full of hope and liberation. “A-Ace…?” you mumble while trying to beat the heaviness of your eyelids. You feel your mouth dry, but that doesn’t matter because the first thing you see is the galaxy on his cheeks.

“Hi” he whispers, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Hi…” you utter, smiling so happily. If this is a dream or if this is reality, it doesn’t really matter.

Ace’s lips slowly reach for yours and closing your eyes you receive them. The first kiss of the new rest of your lives, along with his fingers interlocking with yours. Kiss that turns into the most passionate session of tongues dancing. It’s been so long, how many days you have waited for his kisses, for his hands?

“Should we get married first?” he asks once he lays next to your still a little weak body. “Let’s get married under the stars, right now” you tell him, sure marriage is nothing but sealing your love in an eternal promise.

Ace smiles, for the first time so sincerely, happiness fills his heart, and does yours too. “Do you take me as your husband, (Name)?” he asks, kissing your hand. “I do, (Ace). Do you take me as your wife, Ace?”

“I do, love of my life”

He pulls you up, sitting over the cold stone but surrounded by a blazing love, by a blazing desire. The freckled young man hand’s rest over your shoulders, slowly sliding your sleeves down them. Sweet pecks over your neck, down to your collar bones. None of you could wait any longer for this, you simply can’t.

Over the stone that would close your tomb, you will seal the deal that makes you free. The love that will lead you to a new life, what a beautiful paradox.

His kisses slowly makes you lay over what is now your bed, he takes his beret off revealing the wavy raven locks framing his galaxy face. You help him take his shirt off, barely ripping it with your own nails. Finally, his body, all for you.

Tan skin from a hot summer, from endless days training on his garden under the sun. His fingers buried on your hips, lifting your right leg. Leg that ends around his, carving your heel onto his calf. Hardness against wetness, his kisses don’t limit to your lips. Desperately nibbling your neck, and the little valley in between your breasts.

Ace, like an unstoppable beast, begins devouring you. Sucking, licking, biting, pulling. Getting drunk on your whines, you in rapture. More, more, I wanna feel you even closer.

The freckled man, goes down, tracing a wet path from your chest to your belly button. He stops right there, after kissing around your navel. His fire eyes fixed on yours, lust has taken his body host and you won’t stop him. His fingers squeezing your hipbones tight. “Spread, (Name)… please” he commands, showing you what he wants to do with his watering mouth.

You do, lifting your legs and spreading them so he can fit in the middle. His smile turns into a smirk, a dark smirk. Ace plays with your fine lingerie, first touching the dampness of the lace that covers your sex. His nose buries them on your sex, still covered, but feeling every sensation his lips create. He kisses first, and licks then.

“Can I?” he asks, still waiting for your permission to take your underwear off. You only moan and nod, you need him to do so, you really need it to. He smiles, kindly this time, kissing first your inner thigh and then sliding your panties off.

The white lace slowly goes down your legs, getting to your feet. Ace plants a loving peck over the arch of your foot and then the clothes are finally off. He pounces back in between your legs, with the utmost care he only tastes your dripping arousal with the tip of his tongue, breathing warmly over your anatomy. It makes you squirm; it makes you arch your back.

Yet, this is just the beginning because when he spread your labia with his finger and attacks your button of pleasure, you scream hard. Your moan echoes through the night, and you are pretty much sure everybody had listened.

But, frankly, you don’t care.

Ace, Ace keeps eating, nurturing from your sex, taking you to heaven so sweetly and sinfully. Hi trace circles, he sucks, and he even uses his fingers. Fingers to which your walls get used to, as they open their ways inside of you.

Climax, that unknown sensation finally taking over your body for the very first time, warming and taking you to edge of glory from the loving actions of your husband. The freckles that sprinkle his rosy cheeks now, peek up your core to simply enjoy the beautiful expression of your ecstasy.

“Ace, keep… going, please. Come here” you mumble when your breath normalizes, you need him inside of you, you can’t wait any longer. “Sure, my love” he accepts, crawling up to you, planting a honey kiss on your lips.

Ace wipes the little drops of sweat on your forehead and looks at you with the softest expression you’ve ever seen. His adoration towards you reminds you of a goddess worshiper. And indeed, he is, he considers you as his goddess, precious divinity.

“Do you want me to make love to you, my dear?” he asks, with his forearms at each side of your face. “Make love to me, my lover”.

Bellies touching, breathing into each other. Himself invading your insides with care and soft motions so you get accustomed to him. Slowly moving in and out once your clenching walls allow him to do so.

Resting his body weight over his left side, he makes love to you with eyes fixed on yours and his right hand caressing your cheek. “I love you” he repeats on and on, until words aren’t needed or can’t be said. Moaning and confessing how much both love each other, seal your first encounter with raptured feelings as if you had finally found the path to the stars...

“Let’s run away and never look back” 💖~

[pure-kirarin]

My dear princess that I love with my entire heart, let me give you a situation :

How would OP characters react if they did something embarrassing but they spot their s/o in the corner of their eyes trying (but falling) to hide how cute they think it is ? (Hope my question was clear 😂)

Love you babe 💕

My angeel whom i love with my entire being hehe. Let's imagine what OP characters would do in such a situation!

-Getting caught by their S/O while doing something embarrassing

-

Law :

- What kind of embarrassing things could Trafalgar Law possibly do? I can think of a few things, as the surgeon of Death has the ability to make even the least embarrassing and normal of things feel awkward for him.

-Let's say you caught him humming while working, or pour sugar into his morning coffee. These things could be "normal" to anyone that doesn't have Law's sense of embarrasment. He has to maintain his "serious" demeanour after all.

-What? Trafalgar Law pours sugar in his coffee? How sacrilegious! Humming while taking a bath? Someone kill him before anybody sees/hears this.

-At first he will be at his ease, thinking that nobody is around, but then, he spots you looking at him.

-His first thought is "fuck." His mind is blurred by one hundred plan of how to get out of this embarrassing situation.

-He would feel a bit humiliated that you think it's cute. Probably push his hat further on his head to hide.

-Turns away and pretends that nothing has happened. Would be awkward for the rest of the day but continue acting as if nothing has happened. He will be extra careful next time he engages in some "Not-so-Trafalgar-Law-Actions"

Sabo

-Dudes and dudettes, I present to you the king of embarrassing situations and perfectly owning them!

-It's right, Sabo is the kind of guys that has such charisma that he could get out of any embarrassing situation.

-So what? He waved at you and noticed that you were waving at someone behind him? He'd proudly pretend that he is adjusting his hat or running a hand in his hair.

-What about him trying a dish that's too spicy and turning as red as a tomato? Wouldn't that be embarrassing for Revolutionary Sabo, to be a man that can"t even handle a little bit of spice?

-But don't worry. He can of course get out of any situations with grace, and he would untie his cravat and stick out his tongue and say something along the lines of "Oops, this one might be too spicy for me"

-And a wink.

-And you'd die in a puddle of your own drool.

-He would play anything off cool. If he notices that you saw him do something stupid, he'd just scratch his neck and laugh it off. No biggie! It could even be a nice conversation starter.

Koby

-Someone please PLEASE end him.

-Instant panikk

-Wishes he didn’t wake up and wasn’t born all at once.

-What if he drinks too fast and it comes out of his nose? He would have the cutest disappointment face. And you’d just melt at how cute he looks with a pouty face.

-The moment he notices you looking at him, he turns red. I wonder if he would hyperventilate.

-He would feel extremely embarrassed that you saw him lacking elegance. His heart would be pounding so fast.

-However, when he notices that you are just as distabilized as he is, he would gain back confidence and probably laugh it off as well.

-”I drank too fast I think!” He would say with a sorry face while nervously scratching the back of his head.

-”But it was so cute!” You think out loud. And it would lead to some romantic situation, such as him saying “Not at all, you are the cute one after all.”

-A daring and successful comback for our little Koby!

Ace:

-Pretends nothing happened but fails to do so.

-Tries to act cool but actually looks dumb and awkward.

-When he noticed that you have seen him he doesn’t get shy or anything but starts laughing.

-He thinks that you’re gently teasing him so he probably would try to get back at you by tickling you to tears.

-Till you literally beg for him to let you go <3

-Corazon:

-Just give up. His whole existence is an embarrassant moment.

-Doflamingo:

-Embarrasment? Who is she? This man knows no shame. He owns it and slays like a king.

[chelsfic]

Unseemly Desire - Chapter 3 - Guillermo x Nandor

To read past chapters: WWDITS Masterlist

Summary: Nandor and Guillermo deal with the fallout of their makeout session and the almost-attempted mind wipe. Guillermo discovers the untapped well of anger living inside him!

Warnings: Angst, Blood drinking, gratuitous use of the word Fuck, Angry kissing

A/N: Look how frickin handsome Nandor is in this gif. No wonder Guillermo can’t resist this idiot. Also, I wrote this really fast and barely edited it sooooo ehhhhhh sorrayyy.

---

Shit! Fuck! Damn! Fiasco!

Nandor retires straight to his coffin after storming out of his familiar’s room. He’s still fully dressed and the little hair pins in his bun stab the back of his head as he lies down. 

Fucking guy!

Who gave him permission to have those kinds of feelings, anyway? Nandor’s almost certain he included something about not falling in love in Guillermo’s employment contract. He’ll have to check on that tomorrow evening. He growls in angry frustration as he realizes the contract is locked in one Colin Robinson’s basement filing cabinets. Maybe he doesn’t need to worry about checking. He’s positive that he mentioned it to Guillermo before he became his familiar. No falling in love with me. End of discussion!

How dare that little guy ruin his perfect plan? What does he think, just because he has smooth, tan skin, a disarming smile and perfect wavy hair he can just go around forcing Nandor to be horny for him all the time? It’s unacceptable!

Nandor turns onto his side in a huff. He has half a mind to go back there and mind wipe him after all. But the vision of Guillermo’s tear streaked face as he begged Nandor not to hypnotize him floats before his eyes in the darkness and he feels that stabby, annoying pain in his heart area again.  

And now he’s having more confusing heart palpitations again. Great!

---

The movie is still playing on Guillermo’s discarded laptop. Claudia shrieks after learning that she can never grow or change as a vampire. It’s his favorite movie. He’s watched it hundreds of times. And Guillermo is only just now contemplating the real world evidence of that phenomenon. Nandor may have centuries of life experience but emotionally he is still the same repressed, spoiled, arrogant 13th century warlord he was when he was turned, just with a few new pop culture references under his belt. Can he really never learn or change? And if that’s true then what the fuck is Guillermo doing here?

He’s frozen in place where Nandor discarded him like so much refuse. His eyes are fixed on the curtain in fear or hope--he’s not certain--that Nandor might come blazing back into his little room, filling it up with his massive presence for better or worse. Salty tear tracks stain his cheeks and he’s still half wrapped up in the dumb snuggie. His face crumples and a silent sob escapes his throat. He’d been so stupidly happy there for a moment. Nandor--his dream boy, his vampire, his Nandor--kissed him and held him like Guillermo had always dreamed. But the memory tastes bitter in his mouth now as he remembers the cold, blank mask of his face after Guillermo mistakenly confessed his love. 

He fists his hands into the soft material of Nandor’s snuggie, burying his face in the fabric as his tears start anew. He begged for this, didn’t he? How pathetic is it that he pleaded with Nandor to let him hold onto the memory of yet another rejection? He falls asleep like that, crying silently and clinging to the only physical evidence of his master’s fleeting, mercurial affection. 

---

When he opens his coffin the next evening Nandor finds Guillermo waiting to attend him like always. The vampire hides his surprise and holds out his hand for assistance with all of his typical haughty self-importance. He spent all day plagued by nightmares of his familiar running away into the sunlight. Packing up his computing book, his cute little sweaters and his pizza rolls and fleeing from Nandor like he was some kind of...monster.

Ridiculous, of course.

Guillermo won’t leave him. He’d said so last night. He’d promised in exchange for his pathetic memories. But then Nandor notices the human’s hands are shaking as he adjusts his cravat and Guillermo won’t meet his eyes. There is also a strange new smell coming off of him that he usually only encounters around victims.

Fear.

“Guillermo…” Nandor wrinkles his nose “Have you been cleaning the cell? You should really shower afterwards. It’s not hygienic to be dressing me after being around all those human juices.”

His familiar finally looks up at him, eyes narrowed in confusion as he tries to parse his master’s thought process.

“No…” he finally answers and his voice is like a ghost, thin and ephemeral. “I haven’t been cleaning the cell master.”

He self-consciously leans down to sniff his own armpit and Nandor grimaces in disgust. 

“Well, then why--” he stops himself, his deep brown eyes going round as he finally makes the connection. Guillermo is afraid of...him? It is like his nightmares are coming to life!

“Guillermo! Snap out of it now! This is very upsetting and...unprofessional. Why are you afraid?”

Guillermo flinches as if struck by Nandor’s words. He didn’t realize how transparent he was being. His first instinct is to deny it but a flare of anger takes hold of him and he’s speaking before his ingrained habit of suppressing his true feelings can kick in.

“Why am I afraid!? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you almost erased my memories last night? And you could do it any time you want and I’d be powerless to stop you?”

Nandor’s brows knit together and he scoffs, “But that’s always--”

He stops himself, guiltily averting his eyes, but it’s too late. Something changes in Guillermo’s face. The anger bleeds away and his skin goes pale. He almost looks like a vampire or… or one of his victims. The thought sends a shiver down Nandor’s spine.

“Master…” Guillermo’s voice is calm and cool but Nandor has a feeling that what comes next will determine something very important. 

“Have you--” He swallows against the lump in his throat. “--Have you hypnotized me before?”

Nandor grimaces, baring his sharp fangs in an uncomfortable smile and looking like the vampiric embodiment of a dog shaming video.

---

There’s the time he dropped Guillermo while he was helping him dust around the spider houses…

...the time Guillermo saw Nandor fall down at the roller rink and the human children all laughed at him…

...when he shamed himself while Guillermo helped him adjust his orgy suit…

And countless other small, trivial moments that now seem to add up to quite a lot.

And, of course, there’s the other night when Nandor admitted that Guillermo is special to him.

---

“...Once or twice.”

Nandor watches his familiar’s face fall and his eyes start leaking. Guillermo angrily scrubs the tears away and shakes his head, throwing off the hurt as he’s learned to do all his life. From elementary school bullies to the love of his life, Guillermo has been rolling with the emotional punches for as long as he can remember. This is no different. So what if the last five years are a lie? So what if he can't trust his own memory? Guillermo is resilient. Guillermo is rubber. Guillermo kills ‘em with kindness and lives to fight another day. Or...

“Fuck you, Nandor,” he reaches up to finish tying the cravat, angrily cinching it around the vampire’s neck with a painful tug.

“Ouch! Watch it with that!” Nandor complains, batting Guillermo’s little hands away. Guillermo crosses his arms over his chest and glares back at him with fierce, thunderstorm eyes. Nandor’s never seen his familiar like this. So forceful…he shakes his head violently, banishing the stupid horny thoughts attempting to take over.

“Alright! So I hypnotized you a few times. So what? Kind of comes with the job there, Guillermo. Did you even read your contract?” 

“You mean the one you scribbled on the back of a Panera menu?” Guillermo rolls his eyes. “How did it go? ‘I.O.U. one unholy transition. Signed, Nandor the Relentless’?”

Nandor scrunches his face up and he shifts his eyes as he tries to remember. There must have been more to it…

“I don’t think…” he falters, losing steam for a second before riling himself back up through sheer force of will. He is Nandor the RELENTLESS! “That’s neither here nor anywhere, Guillermo! The point is...eh...the point is you should have expected the occasional hypnotic trance when you took the job! It is common sense!”

“You’re right, master,” Guillermo says in the tone he uses when he doesn’t mean the thing that he is saying. “Silly me, expecting that you’d treat me any differently than one of your victims.”

Nandor feels like he’s rapidly losing the thread of this conversation. Or, more realistically, that the thread ran out from between his fingers long ago and he’s grasping at the empty air. Guillermo thinks he treats him like a victim? After all the troubles he went through to get the smelly red flowers and the music for his dirty biting fantasy? After he saved him from Nadja’s horrendous aim? After all of their chess games and strolls through the moonlit hunting grounds and the countless hours Nandor has spent listening for the soft thump of Guillermo’s human heart? This is what he thinks?

Nandor curls his lip and hurls his next words to Guillermo’s feet with disdain, “Didn’t you say you were jealous of my victims, Guillermo? Well, now you do not have to be. You are one. Perhaps I should finish the job.”

Guillermo barks out a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a sob, “Oh, please! You’re not going to kill me anymore than you’re going to turn me.”

Guillermo turns away, the job of dressing his master left unfinished and he starts to leave. Nandor looks at his familiar’s back and he sees him running away, abandoning him just like in his dream. 

“No!” he roars, lifting off the ground several inches as he flies at Guillermo, tackling the human into the wall of his crypt and knocking a 700-year-old sword to the floor. He presses his hands into Guillermo’s shoulders, pinning him in place and marveling at the soft give of his flesh layered over strong muscles. “You are my familiar and I have not given you permission to leave!”

Guillermo’s eyes harden and he parts his lips to deliver what Nandor is certain will be a devastating blow. He’s going to leave him. He’s going to quit. All because Nandor wasn’t aloof enough! He can’t let him do this! If Nandor’s heart could beat he’s sure it would be bursting from his chest this very second. He squeezes Guillermo’s shoulders too hard, painfully grinding the bones beneath his palms as he lunges, burying his face into the pristine, smooth expanse of his familiar’s neck and biting down with all the force in his body. Guillermo screams and flails against him, but it’s pointless. Nandor is too strong and he’s hell bent on giving his human a bruise to match the one on the other side of his neck.

Guillermo’s blood was made for Nandor. It floods his mouth, coating his tongue like a thick, sweet nectar. He swallows it with a savage groan and presses harder against Guillermo, digging his growing erection into the softness of his belly. 

Guillermo is lost in a confusing tangle of rage, sadness, fear and arousal. He can’t fucking believe that Nandor is doing this, basically proving that Guillermo is nothing more than another human victim. And it really, really shouldn’t turn him on this much. His words ring in Guillermo’s ears as the life pulses out of him. Perhaps I should finish the job. Guillermo doesn’t believe for a second that his master is planning to kill but just in case…

He fists his hands in the vampire’s shiny, soft hair--hair he’s lovingly brushed and arranged every night for the last five years--and he yanks it back with all of his might. 

“Ouch! Fucking--” Nandor rears back, blood pouring down his chin and his eyes blown with hunger and lust. He captures Guillermo with those eyes and the familiar is drawn in like a moth to the flame. Why is he always chasing the thing that will hurt him?

Before he can second guess himself, and before Nandor can do something stupid like turn into a vapor, Guillermo grabs the vampire’s collar, tugs him down to his level and slams his mouth against his in a brutal, angry kiss. Fuck you for throwing an axe at my head. Fuck you for making me feel inadequate. Fuck you for kissing me and then trying to erase it from my memory. And really, truly, deeply, fuck you for making me love you anyway.

Guillermo’s hands paw at Nandor’s bearded jaw, holding in place as their lips slide together, tongues seeking and massaging. The salty copper taste of Guillermo’s own blood fills his mouth as Nandor plunders inside. The vampire moans, his hands straying down over Guillermo’s chest, his stomach, reaching around to settle over the round curve of his backside. Guillermo whimpers into Nandor’s lips as the vampire squeezes his fingers into his buttocks and simultaneously rolls his pelvis. There’s a sound in the distance trying to attract his attention. As if Guillermo would let go of this moment for anything in the world.

In the next instant, the door to the crypt flings open and Laszlo ducks inside, slamming it shut again just in time to keep out his shrieking, furious wife. Nandor breaks away from Guillermo, jumping back and holding his hands aloft with an obvious, guilty expression. 

Laszlo takes one look at Nandor’s blood stained mouth and Guillermo’s utterly ravished appearance and snorts in amusement.

“I fucking knew it!”