#so if anyone wants more recipes i got em lol

[hopefulstarfire]

Hi. So. I'm missing my Grandma. I moved a few months ago and she's not a place she can do really any traveling, and I'm not making it back home this year for various reasons but. Idk I just miss her, even talking on the phone isn't the same as when I lived with her. And I miss her food like crazy. So I thought I could share some of her recipes, if y'all want. Some of these she learned from her mother in law, and a couple of these are just from her family and she always loves getting recipes so she hoards them. I think she has every cook book and cooking magazine to ever exist; we have one from the 1800s that tells you how to cook bear lmfao. But they're all pretty fucking amazing so. Yeah.

I'm gonna put these under a read more for you guys ^^.

Frosted Sugar Cookies

Sugar Cookies

1 cup crisco.

1 cup margarine.

1 cup white sugar.

1 cup powdered sugar.

2 eggs.

1 tsp baking soda.

1 tsp vanilla.

1 tsp cream of tartar.

4 cups flour.

Mix and chill for one hour. Roll out and cut with cutters. Roll into balls, roll in sugar, and flat with a glass bottom dipped in sugar. Bake at 375 and babysit the cookies; start them on the bottom rack (do everything on the bottom rack) and then move them to the top shelf just as they start to turn and when they're browning at the bottom, remove them from the oven and let cool.

Powdered Sugar Frosting

1 stick of margarine.

1 tsp vanilla.

1 ½+ cups powdered sugar.

“A little bit” of half n half.

Melt margarine just a little bit. Mix with vanilla and powdered sugar, which you may have to sift. Add half n half (or milk), beat by hand (do not use a mixer), and mix until you reach desired consistency and flavor.

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Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup butter, softened.

¾ cup sugar.

¾ cup brown sugar.

2 eggs.

1 tsp salt.

1 tsp vanilla.

2 ½ cup flour.

1 tsp baking soda, dissolved in.

1 tbsp hot water.

1 pkg chocolate chips.

Mix ingredients. Place on a greased cookie sheet and bake at 375. No timer needed, you have to babysit the cookies until they’re done, just as you do with the sugar cookies.

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Frosted Brownies

Brownies

1 stick margarine.

2 cups sugar.

5 eggs.

4 tbsp cocoa.

2 tsp vanilla.

1 cup flour.

½ cup chopped nuts (optional).

Cream butter and sugar. Adds eggs and cocoa, then the rest. Bake at 375 for 30 minutes in a 10x15in pan.

Side note: There is also an additional measurements for an 11x18 as follows: 1 ½ stick margarine, 3 cups sugar, 8 eggs, 6 tbsps cocoa, 3 tsps vanilla, 1 ½ cup flour, and ¾ cups chopped nuts.

Frosting

1 stick butter.

2 tbsp cocoa.

⅓ cup milk or cream.

1 cup sugar.

2 cups powdered sugar.

1 tsp vanilla.

Extra milk, if needed.

Melt butter in a saucepan, then add cocoa. Stir in milk & sugar. Bring to a boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat, then beat in sugar and vanilla.

Side note: The aforementioned 11x18in measurements for the frosting are: 1 ½ stick butter, 3 tbsps cocoa, ⅓ cup milk/cream, 1 ½ cup sugar, 3 cups powdered sugar, and 1 ½ tsp vanilla, with extra milk if needed.

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Chocolate Fudge (from her Mom)

3 cups sugar.

1 envelope unflavored gelatine.

1 cup milk.

½ cup light corn syrup.

3 squares (3oz) unsweetened chocolate.

2 tsp vanilla.

1 ¼ cup butter or margarine.

1 cup coarsely chopped nuts.

Butter an 8x8x2in deep pan. In a 3 ½ qt pan, mix sugar with dry gelatin; add milk, corn syrup, chocolate and butter. Cook over med heat, stirring frequently to 238 degrees on candy thermometer or until a little in cold water forms a soft ball that flattens when removed from water. Remove from heat. Pour into a large mixing bowl. Stir in vanilla. Cool 25 minutes. Beat with wooden spoon until candy thickens. Stir in walnuts. Spread in prepared pan. Let cool, then cut into squares.

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Chicken and Noodles

Cover one whole chicken in a large, heavy bottomed pot with water. Sprinkle in salt, pepper, chicken bouillon powder, onion flakes, a little bit of celery flakes and garlic salt to your hearts content. Bake until chicken is done (stick a fork into and if it slides out clean and easy, it’s done). 

Remove chicken from the pot to a platter and cut up, then pull apart and shred the chicken.

In the meantime, dump in 2-3 cups of elbow noodles [probably more -- I think we use like 2 boxes at least]. Use 1 large can cream of chicken and add the meat. Stir together and enjoy.

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Cheesy Chicken Rice

4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts.

1 (10 ¾ oz) can Campbell’s cream of chicken soup.

1 ⅓ cups water.

1-2 cups Minute Maid white rice, uncooked.

2 small cans corn, drained.

2 small cans peas, drained.

2 small cans carrots, drained.

8 oz or more shredded fiesta blend cheese.

½ tsp onion powder

Stir soup, water, rice and veggies together in a 12x8 shallow baking dish. Season chicken as desired, and top the rice mix with the chicken. Cover the dish with aluminum foil. Bake at 375 for 40-45 minutes. Uncover, top with cheese and put back in the oven for about 5 minutes or until cheese is melted.

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Banana Bread

3 ripe bananas, mashed.

1 cup sugar.

½ cup crisco.

2 eggs.

3 tbsp buttermilk.

2 cups flour.

1 tsp salt.

½ tsp baking soda.

½ tsp baking powder.

Nuts (optional).

Bake at 350 for 1 hour.

-

Biscuits (from her great-grandmother)

1 cup crisco.

1 ¼ cup buttermilk.

2 ½ cups self rising flour.

Put Crisco in mixing bowl, then add buttermilk and flour. Take a tablespoon and mix until it is mixed well. Pour out onto floured paper or board, and cut or roll dough over; pinch smaller pieces and roll in hands, put onto greased pans. Bake at 450-500 for 20-45 minutes.

-

Dinner rolls (from her great-aunt)

1 ½ cups boiling water.

½ cup sugar.

1 tsp salt.

¼ cup crisco.

1 egg

1 pkg active dry yeast or compressed yeast.

½ cup lukewarm water.

5-6 cups flour.

Pour boiling water over sugar, salt and crisco; stir until dissolved and cool to lukewarm. Dissolve yeast in ½ cup of lukewarm water. Add yeast to above mixture, add egg, mix well. Add flour to make dough soft. Rub surface with crisco. Place in a bowl, cover tightly and refrigerate until ready to use (will keep for about 1 week). When ready, knead and punch down dough. Roll out on floured board until ½ thick and shape by hand. Brush with butter. Allow to raise double in bulk, about 1 hour. Bake at 425 for 20 minutes.

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Lasagna (from her mother-in-law)

1 ½ lb ground beef, ground and drained.

1 lg can canned tomatoes, blended.

3 8 (oz) cans tomato sauce.

1 lg dry pkg McCormick spaghetti sauce.

½ tsp salt to taste.

2 8oz pkgs shredded mozzarella

Grated canned parmesan.

Mix together ground beef, blended tomatoes, sauces and salt together and simmer for 15-20 minutes or until thickened. Cook 8 lasagna noodles as directed on the package and rinse in cold water.

Put a thin layer of sauce in a glass 9×13in pan; then a layer of noodles, and on top of that, half of the remaining sauce. Sprinkle 1 pkg mozzarella, and a cup of parmesan over it. Add another layer of noodles, then layer the rest of the mozzarella, then parmesan and then finally the rest of the sauce on top of that. Bake at 350° for about an hour, until the cheese is bubbly. Serves best if you let it stand for 15 minutes.

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Pancake Mix

2 eggs.

2 tbsp margarine, slightly melted.

2 cups buttermilk.

2 cups flour.

½ tsp baking soda.

1 tsp baking powder.

5 tbsp sugar.

½ tsp salt.

Mix until creamy, but batter may stay a little on the lumpy side.

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Waffles (from my Grandpa!)

2 cups flour.

½ tsp salt.

4 tbsp baking powder.

1 ¾ cups milk.

2 eggs, beaten until light.

½ cups melted shortening.

Mix together.

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Deviled Eggs

1 tbsp vinegar.

1 ½ tbsp mayonnaise.

1 tbsp sugar.

½ tsp mustard.

12 boiled eggs.

Cut eggs in half length wise. Scoop and mash the yolks, then mix with the vinegar, mayo, sugar and mustard. Put in egg whites. Refrigerate.

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Stuffing

4 skinless chicken breasts.

1 cup chicken broth.

1 can cream of chicken soup.

1 box chicken stuffing mix.

½ cup water.

Put chicken in a slow cooker, and pour broth over the chicken. Next, place the soup, stuffing and water into a bowl and mix. Put on top of chicken, cook on low for seven hours.

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Banana Split Salad

1 can eagle brand milk.

18oz carton cool whip.

3 bananas, cut up.

1 can cherry pie filling.

1 can crushed pineapple (drained).

1 pkg nuts.

Mix milk and cool whip together until stiff. Add remaining ingredients by hand. Blend well. Chill.

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Zucchini Bread

3 eggs.

2 cups sugar.

1 cup oil.

2 cups zucchini, ground.

3 cups flour.

1 tsp salt.

1 tsp baking soda.

¼ tsp baking powder.

3 tsps vanilla.

3 tsps cinnamon.

½ cup nuts.

Mix together first 4 ingredients, then add remaining. This will make about 2 pans. Bake at 350 for 1 hour.

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Raw Apple Cake

Cake

½ cup oil.

2 cups sugar.

2 eggs.

1 tsp vanilla.

3 cups apples, sliced.

1 cup raisins (optional)

1 cup chopped nuts.

1 tsp baking soda.

3 cups flour.

½ tsp salt.

1 tsp cinnamon.

In a large bowl, beat oil, sugar, and eggs until well beaten. Add remaining ingredients, and mix with spoon. Pour into a greased 9x13in pan, and bake at 350 for 50 minutes.

Butter Sauce

1 cup sugar.

2 tbsp corn starch.

½ cup butter.

1 cup milk.

1 tsp vanilla.

Cook over low heat until thickened. Add a few drops yellow food coloring. Serve on cake while warm.

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Hamburger Spaghetti Casserole (from her mother in law)

Small pkg hamburger meat.

1 lb box of Great Value spaghetti.

Small can whole kernel corn.

Large can cream of chicken soup.

Pack of Kraft cheese slices (I personally use shredded fiesta blend cheese instead, I think it tastes so much better but that's what the recipe calls for)

Cook noodles, brown hamburger and drain corn, then add it to the meat. Drain noodles. Mix noodles, meat and corn in the pan and add the soup. Mix. Spread mixture into a casserole dish. Cover and bake at 350° for an hour, or 45 minutes if it's a glass dish. 10 minutes before the timer goes off, layer the top with cheese and place back into the oven without covering it again.

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Potato Salad

1 dozen boiled eggs.

1 stick margarine, softened.

1 tbsp mustard.

6 tbsps dill pickle juice.

1 tbsp sugar.

10 medium potatoes, boiled, peeled and chopped finely.

½ dill pickle, chopped fine (use grater).

¼ cup cream or milk.

1 cup mayonnaise.

Salt & pepper to taste.

Onion flakes (optional).

Boil eggs, cutting in half lengthwise. Put the egg whites in a large bowl and the yolks in a medium bowl. Mash the egg yolks with a fork. Add margarine, mustard, pickle juice and sugar to the yolks, stir well. Add mayo to the egg yolk mixture, then stir in the cream/milk and the dill pickle. Set mixture aside. Prepare potatoes, add to egg whites bowl. Pour mixture over potatoes and egg whites and stir together. Salt and pepper to taste.

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Lefse (from her mother-in-law)

8 cups potatoes, mashed.

1 tbsp salt.

¼ cup margarine or butter.

½ cup rich cream (or half-n-half).

2 tbsps sugar.

1 ½ cups flour.

Cook 5 lbs potatoes (8 cups), keeping skins on and running through a potato ricer before mashing. You can clean the skin out of the ricer with a fork. Add in the salt, margarine, sugar and rich cream. Set aside to cool. Once cooled, work flour well into potato mix. Take a small mound of the mixture and roll it out on a pastry cloth until thin. Only take so much out or it will get sticky. Bake it on a lefse iron/griddle; brown lightly on both sides (not brown completely; it’ll be brown spots). 

[tonycamonte]

samosa recipe from memory courtesy of my chef idk where he got the recipe but he probably made it up

like 6 maybe 7 potatoes depending on how big they are. decent size we used russet potatoes but honestly i think theyre kind of nasty so go crazy if i was in charge of the world i would use sieglinde because theyre my favourites for everything but yukon gold would probably be good too + they sell em everywhere. cooked + peeled (protip if youre normal peel them when theyre not freezing cold and wet and gross) + chopped into chunks

big yam also cooked + peeled + also in chunks (ALTERNATIVELY. frozen peas heated up or whatever other veggies we were supposed to do that but we didnt have any lol)

a lot of ginger minced it said 1tbsp so something like that maybe a little more

4 cloves of garlic minced

really big onion cut it however you want idr my partner did it. like pretty small

curry powder idk how much

sunflower oil (or whatever vegetable oil it doesnt really matter that much i dont think)

1 1/2 tsp turmeric

1 tsp garam masala (i think i really dont know. does that sound like too much?)

maybe 2 tsp ish tbsp maybe of curry powder my partner did it so idr but something along those lines

1 tsp salt i think

1 lemon worth of lemon juice. google says this is 3 tbsp we had more than that who cares. 4tbsp lemon juice okay

three maybe four packages of fillo pastry. just like a ton idk also protip from my chef its okay if its the really cheap stuff because you can barely taste it anyway theres gonna be other flavours in the way

cut up ur veggies duh. sautee onion + garlic in a pan you could do the garlic first and then add onion i fucked up and did it in the wrong order but its not a big deal. oil + garlic + onion + heat = done. add lemon juice here i think? doesnt matter that much either also add ginger sorry i forgot cook that with the garlic

this was the worst part which was that my partner no offense to her is maybe not good at following directions or something i asked her to measure out the spices and she never did and then she never told anyone so we only had curry powder but i dont think it matters........ maybe........ i dont care it tasted good to me so follow your heart and put your spices in your onions

okay go back to your potatoes + yam and mash those just a little with a pastry cutter or a masher whatever. just a little though. this should be in a big ass bowl btw

now add onion garlic to your potatoes. mix those up + mash until it's chunky + the potato looks maybe half the size it was when you cut it. the yam should be kind of gluing everything together good job. you might be supposed to add the lemon juice here i was not paying attention but i dont think it makes a huge difference. the important thing is this is like chunky and cool you're not making mashed potatoes you're not even making colcannon okay youve had a samosa you know what to do

now take ur fillo and unfold it two of the guys working with me had never seen it before so let me explain there's gonna be a big rectangle of dough that's made of a zillion really thin sheets. you dont want to use all of these sheets because then you have like a nasty savoury baklava it would be horrible so you want to separate two of the sheets at a time it's crazy hard and you'll probably rip it but it dont matter. okay take two sheets keep them stacked and using a really sharp knife cut them in half lengthwise and then lengthwise again so you have four strips. protip dont drop this on the floor or cut it into squares like we did

okay good now take a scoop of the filling like maybe two tbsp ish idk probably more than you think is necessary otherwise theyll look ugly like mine did and put it at the top of the strip. now fold that top square where the filling is in half diagonally so it makes a triangle then fold that down horizontally and back over diagonally etc etc then you get an obtuse triangle very beautiful. take a little more oil on a brush and brush the end so when you fold it over it sticks and then a little more on the top. do that like fifty times and then cook them till golden brown on a baking sheet + parchment and now you have enough samosas to feed all the vegetarians at your school

also i know i said this took two hours if you made like a sixteenth of this recipe it would not take that long + you'd have a normal amount of samosas. if you have like ten friends who all like folding things though you could i guess do this for real though. also he claims these are "punjabi style" but i cannot speak to the veracity of this statement

gmorning i just spent from 9 am to 11 making like thirty samosas

[amatchinwater]

Hey there, can you write an Eddie Munson x gn!reader where the reader is into witchcraft and has spiritual beliefs? They might be collect gemstones or read tarot and i would like to see how Eddie would react this

Hello, lovely, thank you for the request! I sure can! I personally think he'd go crazy, but in the babbling excited kind of way.

Will I Graduate? | Eddie Munson x gn!witch reader

Summary: Jason sees your pentagram ring and accuses you of being a Satanist. Eddie steps in and protects you from his wrath. After declining his offer to sit with him at the Hellfire table, he goes with you in the woods outside of school where you explain to him that you're actually a witch and not a Satanist. Eddie asks you to do a tarot read for him with absolute heart eyes.

Warnings: Jason (I really feel like he should be a warning lol), witchcraft, tarot readings, crystals, (I don't see them as warnings, but hey everyone is different), nervous reader

Words: 2118

a/n: I, like the reader, haven't done tarot in a very long time. This is by no means a guide book or probably one hundred percent accurate considering I had to do research because my memory was failing me. I checked with my actual guide to tarot book to make sure I didn't mess anything up, but I'm not perfect. I hope you like it my love and thank you so much for the request!

Requests are open! Master list

Not my gif!! Credit to creator!!

At this point, it really shouldn’t be surprising to you that Jason has it out for you. Between the fact that you always come to school wearing all black and the fact that you try your best to keep your head down, it was a recipe for disaster waiting to happen. The whole point of keeping your head down, and talking to literally no one, was so that this wouldn’t happen. But Jason “I’m the king of assholes” Carver, never really gives a fuck about what people want. Even more so when what you want is solitude. 

Having friends wouldn’t be a bad thing, in fact you’d actually like to have someone to talk to. But there’s just never really been anyone in school that hasn’t looked at you like you’re some kind of freak. You’ve only been at Hawkins High for about four months now. So still being the new kid definitely hasn’t worked in your favor either. Today just seems to be the day that shit wants to hit the fan. 

“What’s that?” Jason sneers, yanking your hand curling into the strap of your bag. You try to yank it away, but his grip is tight and firm, your finger going numb under the pressure. “You a satanist freak, too?” The jock pinches the finger adorned by your pentagram ring. 

Fighting away the eye roll, knowing that will only make matters worse, you keep your voice small. You really don’t want to piss him off further, “no, Jason, that’s not-”

“A freak like you doesn’t get to say my fucking name,” he spits, grip only tightening, your jerking movements making it worse. “Are you fucking stupid?”

You grunt, trying to get him to release you, the tip of your finger turning purple, “let me go.” 

“Just tell-”

“You heard ‘em, Carver,” a voice booms behind you. “Let them go,” the calm, powerful tone is one you’ve heard quite often in the cafeteria. “I’d really like to not tell you again, man,” Eddie warns. 

With one last sneer, angry blue eyes narrow at you, “fine, touching them will probably give them a chance to sacrifice me or something,” dropping your hand harshly. The moment you’re released, Eddie’s arm curls around your shoulder, protectively curling you to him. “Fucking freaks,” Jason takes one last jab before storming away. 

“You alright?” Eddie asks, leading you towards the Hellfire table and you freeze. 

“Y-yeah,” you look at the group of boys, nerves souring your stomach. You appreciate Eddie helping you out, but you’re not ready to be the center of attention in a friend group you’ve never properly met before. Honestly, you hadn’t even wanted to be in the cafeteria, but your growling stomach got the better of you on your way to the woods behind the school. “Listen,” you start, fumbling with the wrapped sandwich in your hand, “thank you for helping me with Jason.” You step out of his grip and he lets you, smile only widening. 

“Us freaks gotta stick together, right?” He winks at you, trying to lighten the mood and then tension in your shoulders. You manage a small laugh at his antics. “I promise, we won’t hound you or anything like that. But if you want to sit with us, you’re more than welcome to.” 

“Thanks, but I was actually heading out to the woods for lunch,” you sheepishly smile, tucking your head to your chin. 

“You really shouldn’t go out there by yourself,” Eddie’s voice sounds so full of concern that your heart swells. “We just want to be your friend.”

“I-” you stop yourself, not really sure where you were going with that. Then the words spill out of your mouth unfiltered, “you can come with me if you want to. Protect me from all the squirrels and bunnies,” you tease, keeping it lighthearted. Having company might actually be really nice. 

“Okay,” he beams at you, “let me grab my stuff.” Eddie rushes over to the table, relaying a quick message to the boys before grabbing his metal lunchbox. Bounding back over, his smile hasn’t gone away, “ready.” 

—

“Not that it’s any of my business,” Eddie asks, watching you twirl the pentagram around your middle finger. “But are you a satanist? I don’t judge, just curious.” Curious enough that neither of you cared that the bell for lunch’s end rang well over an hour ago. The two of you started talking and simply couldn’t stop. You feel like you’ve learned all there is to know about him and really hope that you get to call him a friend after today.

You like your solitude, but there’s something about Eddie being effortlessly kind that’s drawing you in. 

You laugh softly at the question, not even a little surprised by it. “No, I’m not. People see a pentagram and are quick to assume that devil worship is the only religion that it could be associated with. I don’t work with him and have no intentions of doing so.” Your plan was to come out here and look for more crystals. Last week you were walking aimlessly and found a small chunk of smoky quartz. You were so shocked, you’d hoped you’d be able to find more if you came back. “I’m a witch. Or Wiccan if that makes you less uncomfortable.” 

Eddie’s eyes light up, “so can you like, cast spells and shit? Like, the whole nine? Or what? Sorry,” his eyes widen, expression twisting with guilt, “that was super insensitive. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be. I’m just excited. I’ve never met a witch before. And playing DnD I’m more than a little familiar with wizards. I just want to know more about you. I’m sorry.” 

Giggling at his struggle, you bite away a wide grin. “It’s okay, Eddie,” you assure him. “I haven’t done much in the way of spells aside from some protection on my house and my person. Well, I do know of a type of spell that will basically see if someone wishes you ill will and how to return it back to sender. But I also charge my crystals under the full moon to help balance them and myself. And I read tarot- kind of, it’s been a while and I’m a little rusty.”

“No fucking way,” if at all possible, it looks like Eddie’s eyes are about ready to pop out of his head more than before. “Is- is it rude to ask you to do one for me?” 

“A tarot reading?” You ask, chest tightening with anxious energy. You always keep a deck on you, but it’s been a long time since you’ve done one. You’re not even sure if you remember the meanings of all of the cards, it’s been that long since you practiced. But Eddie’s eyes are sparkling with excitement and sincerity, giddy as he practically bounces in his seat on the picnic bench. “O-okay. Yeah,” you clear your throat, “yeah, I can do that.”

“Hell yeah,” his lips curl at the edges as you dig into your bag, trying to find the small pouch that contains your deck and the crystals you use to help you. 

Finding the felt fabric, you pull the purple bag with gold ties out. “Seriously, it’s been a really long time since I’ve practiced,” you warn him. “I don’t remember a whole lot aside from the basics. So, please, don’t make fun of me if I have to do this by the book.” 

Eddie only shrugs, “when I first started as a Dungeon Master, I went by the book too. It takes time to learn everything and be able to do things on your own. I won’t laugh at you. Promise,” he places his hand over his heart as he vows to you. 

Pulling the strings, you pull out the deck of cards that’s styled to look like Lord of the Rings, your crystals tumbling out onto the tabletop. 

“As if you couldn’t get more fascinating,” Eddie coos. Your eyebrows pinch in confusion. Pointing at your deck, “Tolkien is a personal favorite of mine,” he explains, “didn’t know tarot cards could look like that.”

“Maybe I’ll take you to the shop just out of town that I go to,” you hide your smile in your focus of arranging your crystals in a small circle on the table. “There’s a lot of things there that you might actually enjoy.” 

“I’d like that,” Eddie responds and you don’t see the fond expression on his face when he does. “Whoa,” ring clad hand pointing at one, “that one looks really cool,” he says in regards to your tiger’s eye. “What is it?” 

“That's a tiger's eye,” you lift it, letting the light catch and flash golden hues in the brown, “see how it kind of looks like the eye of a cat when the light hits it just right? It’s kind of like my crystal, I use it with everything,” you reach into your shirt, pulling you the small black cord holding a tumbled stone. “It’s great for protection, empowerment, and deflecting fearful thoughts.” 

“And the others?” He asks, looking at the rest placed around the table. 

“That’s jasper,” you point to the red and brown crystal, “it helps to keep someone grounded.” Going around you point at, “pyrite, think of it like a shield. Sodalite,” you continue, “helps decipher messages and focus during meditation; great when trying to read tarot. And finally, crystal quartz,” you point to the biggest crystal you own, it’s a mini tower. “This guy not only can purify and charge other crystals, it works as an amplifier. Spells, intention, whatever you’re trying to accomplish, really.”

Eddie’s resting his chin in the palm of his hand, mouth open in wonder. 

“That’s how I understand it at least,” you shrug, not wanting to misinform or anything like that. “Your own research will help too. Not that you have to. Okay,” you sigh, taking a deep breath to try and center yourself. “I’m just gonna keep it simple,” you say, shuffling the deck. “Think of a question and we’ll see if the cards are willing to talk. Okay?”

“Am I finally going to graduate this year?” Eddie asks without missing a beat. 

Closing your eyes, you continue to shuffle the deck. One card throws itself out, but you keep going, feeling like it’s not quite done yet. Sure enough, two more cards get sfly out, clattering to the table. When you open your eyes, you see the Ace of Pentacles staring up at you. You can't even contain your smile, "that's a really good sign," you tell him. "The Ace of Pentacles is a sign of good luck, that if you go for something, chances of success are high. Wanna look at the rest?" You ask, pointing at the two that fell face down. 

"Fuck it," he grins, "let's see them." 

Flipping one over you find the Two of Cups and your cheeks burn. Typically meaning the romantic joining of two people. You don't know if you and Eddie are there yet, you've only just spoken today. Wracking your brain, you remember the other potential meaning, "this signifies a close bond with another person; romantic or otherwise. In regards to your question, maybe the cards are saying you need help in achieving your goal." 

"Someone to help me study?" Eddie muses.

"Maybe," you tell him, "this isn't an exact science. Especially when I'm no expert." 

“We’ll see about that,” Eddie smiles, flipping over the last card. You’d be angry about someone else touching your deck, but considering this read is technically for him, you don’t mind his energy being transferred into them. “Uh, so wands…is that a king? A Knight?” 

Inspecting the card and seeing no lavish crown on the man’s head, “that’s the Knight of Wands,” you inform him. “He shows great signs of determination and willpower. If you want it badly enough, you have the means to do so. Unless they’re teasing or playing tricks, I’d say your odds of graduating this year are really well. Eddie.” You smile at him as you collect your items back into your small pouch. 

Just as you both stand up from the table, the final bell of the day rings. “Wanna hang out at my place? You can show me that anti ill will spell.” Eddie asks, throwing his arm around your shoulder again, “see if Jason is more of a dick than he seems? Maybe you’re also the study buddy that I so desperately need. You any good at math?” 

“Very good, actually. I’d like that,” you agree, wrapping your arm around his back as he leads you out of the woods, “do you have an egg?” 

---

Eddie tag list: let me know if you'd like to be added

@only4wakingup @decadentpaperduck @ruinedbythehobbit @wolfhrdds @live-the-fangirl-life @imnotsiriusyouare

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[hermit-pistol]

@sallinthesky asked: Heiya!,omg I'm so happy to find this wonderful blog that I'm freaking out lol, but anyway, can I request a "My day was shit and I need a hug" with Team Bucciarati, and a 1.73-tall reader?,thank you in advance for my precious jewel! 

I made these general Bucci gang hug headcanons! Hope you enjoy : )

Giorno Giovanna: 

When you come home he'll be quick to notice that you aren't at 100%. He's usually very perceptive of emotions, especially when it comes to you

"Well, what can I do to help?" He'll pat the cushion on the couch next to him, inviting you to sit down and take a load off. You started by venting about your day, luckily Giorno was a good listener and let you ramble.

You thank him after releasing your pent up frustration from your day and leaned against him, taking in his scent. He smelled amazing.

"A hug would be nice." With your head on his shoulder, you looked up at him with a pleading expression, bottom lip between your teeth. He gave you a silent nod and you smiled before falling into his open arms.

Giorno gives the best hugs. It may not look like it, but he's surprisingly comfortable. Your stress melts in his embrace, as you hum contently.

Bruno Bucciarati:

 It was his day off today, so he decided to surprise you by making dinner. Bruno's also had his fair share of hard days as well, being the capo and all. So when you slam the door open and stomp inside, he'll know what's up.

"Hello?" He called from the kitchen, hard at work chopping some vegetables.

"Hi." You answered curtly. He looked up from the cutting board and frowned; seeing you like this deeply upset him. To lighten the mood, he asked you to wash your hands and help with dinner. He manned the oven while you finished up the rest of the vegetables. He heard you heavily exhale as you showed no mercy, and soon the food had been beaten into a pulp. He could still salvage this for the recipe, though.

"Feel better now?" He turned around after prepping a pan for the oven. You nodded as you threw yourself into his arms. He chuckled softly and savored the feeling, pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

"I'll tell you about it over dinner, but for now, let's make sure we don't burn anything." Bruno nodded.

Narancia Ghirga: 

He was too busy playing his video game to notice you walk in. It took him a while to notice that something was really wrong though, with you letting out the occasional overexaggerated sigh. Gamers. Gotta love 'em...

After about the fifth sigh he realized that something was wrong, "Babe, you okay?" He put down his headset and looked over his shoulder. You were slumped on the couch, and you shook your head pathetically in response.

"Aw, I'm sorry-" He jumped up (but not before turning off the console) and wrapped his arms around you. His hands felt a little clammy, probably from clutching the controller too tightly

"Thanks, Narancia." You gave a weak smile. You really just needed to be held right now.

He's very attentive and doesn't let you go until you insist you're okay for the tenth time. After you're feeling a little more like yourself you decide to play a video game together. Maybe a little friendly competition was just what you needed to get your mind off of things.

Guido Mista:

 Mista, being the absolute gentleman he is, insisted on taking you out to a fancy restaurant for your anniversary. Unfortunately, you had to work during the day, but you insisted that working wouldn't affect your mood.

Well, weren't you wrong.

You couldn't even properly open the door to your apartment, fumbling with the keys, and shouting obscenities out of frustration. It was Mista who let you in, a concerned look on his face.

He was wearing a dress shirt, which was a pleasant surprise. His hat was still on, though. "Y/N, are you okay? The neighbors are gonna start asking questions."

You walk inside and shut the door behind you, throwing your bag on the floor as you walk towards your shared bedroom. Mista got more than an earful of your complaints from the day's happenings.

His arms around your waist were unexpected though, and you gasped in surprise. You could smell the lingering scent of the deodorant you bought him and forced him to wear. He held you close for a while before whispering a simple, "Better?". You smiled and nodded. "Good, because I-" *cue screams from the Pistols* eh we're starving!"

Leone Abbacchio:

 He's always grumpy and hates when anyone complains. He spent the majority of his day running around chasing a target, and now he was resting at a public park. He didn't care if anyone found his attire strange; a nasty glare would be shot their way.

He didn't realize how late it was getting until his phone rang. Usually, he wouldn't answer his phone, but once he saw you on the called ID he picked up immediately.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" You knew that he hated phone calls, so this was a rare occurrence. You told him you were on your way home from work and just needed to vent because you had had a terrible day.

He decided to meet you back at your apartment and he listened as you complained, voice shaky. When he made it back to the apartment complex you were just pulling into a spot. He walked up to your car and knocked on the window, making you smile. He had such a funny way of showing affection.

Once you got out of the vehicle Abbacchio pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and whispered, "I'm sorry about your day." At these words, he hugged you even tighter. He was sweet when he wanted to be!

Pannacotta Fugo: 

Fugo is not the best candidate when it comes to being in touch with one's emotions, so when you came home with a frown plastered on your face he was a little flustered.

You had disturbed his reading, which slightly annoyed him in that moment. Although, you did seem really upset. Despite him genuinely wanting to know more, what came out of his mouth was a simple, "What happened to you?" 

Tears welled up in your eyes, and he felt instant regret in his choice of words. "Just work Fugo, that's all." You ran to the bedroom, and he was hot on your heels. You threw yourself on the bed and softly cried into the pillow.

He followed you, carefully sitting on the bed, placing a hand on your back "I'm sorry baby, please tell me what happened."

You turned over to face him; your eyes were puffy with tears. You held out your arms, pouting as Fugo picked up on what you wanted. His embrace was hesitant at first, but reassuring. Your stress from the day became less and less apparent. After you broke apart, he apologized for his actions and held you while you told him all about your day.

[cellard0ors]

Fic: Into The Night

This was SUPPOSED to be posted around @nekoaimy BD and Halloween, but then LIFE happened.

With my OWN BD coming up, I felt this was still good to post. Might write more to this one day. For now just a one off. Inspired by artwork aimy did, but with the added twist of Halloween costumes - lol.

Ford stands by the punch bowl grousing and feeling like an idiot. The first is because he's being forced to attend a Halloween party he doesn't want to. The second is because he's dressed like a cat.

Okay, not a complete cat. There's no tail, thank god - but a black headband with felt black ears was slapped on to his head and painted black whiskers were slanted on his cheeks - a little black dot on the tip of his nose.

The culprit? One Stanley Pines, worst twin (EVER) extraordinaire. Maybe a bit overdramatic, true, but this is all Stan's fault.

Ford had been minding his own business in their shared room when he'd been ambushed. What started off as a normal wrestling match between brothers resulted in Stan pinning him down, painting Ford up with their Mom's eyeliner and him begging Ford to join him at Rachel McCarthy's party.

Mainly because Stan is now eyeing Rachel after the whole Carla fiasco and why Stan wants to date anyone is beyond him.

...alright, this is not entirely true either. Ford gets why dating might be fun, but considering who he'd like to date, well...

Ford can easily say having six fingers on each hand is the least freakish thing about him. Not that Stan will ever, ever, ever, EVER know that. Nor will anyone else. Ford will take his secret shame to the grave.

Grave. Halloween. How fitting.

Regardless, Stan tossed the cat get-up on him, begged him to go to this thing, and now here Ford stands, everything full circle.

Stan, for his part, seems to be having a grand old time. Their mother's green eyeshadow is powdered all over his face and his hair has been lightly slicked down. Screw bolts have been tacked to either side of his neck to complete the monster ensemble and frankly, Ford worries about what kind of adhesive his twin used to accomplish this.

It wouldn't be the first time Stan got something almost permanently stuck to him. Ford keeps hoping for a last, but knows that will probably never happen...lovable, infuriating fool...

Ford really does need to start thinking seriously about looking into colleges. He's been playing Stan, saying he'll join him on their ship, but he knows that's a recipe for disaster.

Stuck alone on a ship with the object of his forbidden desires? Yeah, thanks but no thanks. Sure, Stan will be sour about the whole thing, but better they part then Ford potentially do something unforgivable.

Like kiss the breath out of the big, handsome, stupid-!

"Bro, what are you doing?"

Ford snaps out of his thoughts as Stan approaches him. He blinks and tries to be normal, "Nothing "

"Exactly. Nothing," Stan throws an arm around him, shakes him amiably, "Come on, join the party! You're next to the punch bowl - grab a drink, mingle, have fun!"

Ford carefully extracts himself from his brother's grip, frowning, "I agreed to come with you, Stanley. Not engage in the festivities. The punch is heavily spiked, there's no one here I wish to talk to, and this is miles from what I would constitute as 'fun'."

“Aw, don’t be like that, Sixer! Loosen up!” Stan pulls a face, bottom jaw jutting out, eyes rolling upwards as he growls, “Frankenstein say party gooood.”

“...you know you’re not Frankenstein right?”

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Stan tugs at one of the bolts, “Think I did a pretty good with the costume last minute an’ all...”

“Frankenstein is the name of the main protagonist in the novel, Stanley. The doctor. The creature he creates is not, in point of fact, named Frankenstein.”

Ford once again questions how he can love someone who can give him such a blank face only to follow it up with a raspberry and an eye roll, “Yeah, like anyone past nerds’ll think of that.”

“Are you calling me a nerd?”

“I’ll call you whatever you want if, you know,” he wiggles his eyebrows, “You play it a lil’ cooler.”

Ford scoffs, “And why on earth should I do that?”

“Because you’re bringing people down, man,” Stan whispers this to him as if it’s a terrible secret, “Missy Caldwell told me that Rachel was thinkin’ about busting out some kissin’ games! You know, like Spin the Bottle and Seven Minutes in Heaven and the like. but then she saw you over here, looking like the kid picked last for dodgeball and it kinda killed the mood!”

Ford looks over to see that Rachel is, indeed, standing with Missy and a large group of girls. They are whispering to one another and looking in his direction. Rachel, in particular, is wearing a sort of judging expression. The fact that Stan would take her concerns over his...

And why shouldn’t he? His thoughts whisper. You’re his brother. You’re supposed to have his back. Be there for him as much as he’s there for you. He wants to kiss Rachel. It’s normal for him to want to kiss Rachel. He can’t know that you want to kiss him. He should NEVER know that. Should never even consider it.

Ford knows his thoughts are correct. They are smart. Logical. Everything he has always vowed himself to be. And yet...

...and yet.

“Look, just...” Stan waves at his face, “Give ‘em a smile. A little sign that you’re fine.”

Ford doesn’t feel much like smiling, but he gives it his best shot. It must be pretty bad, because Stan winces, “Yeesh.”

His lips drop, “No good?”

“You look like you just chugged the kool-aid at a cult meetin’.”

That actually gets a genuine smile, a laugh, and Stan beams, pointing at him, “See? That’s much better!”

Ford shakes his head, “What can I say? You always manage to get a rise out of me.”

The words leave and he feels a whiplash of heat wash over him. Shoot! Was that too suggestive? Apparently not, because Stan’s grin just grows, “That’s my job, bro! Keepin’ you from being too stuck in the mud! Now come on...”

He puts a big arm around Ford’s shoulders and drags him over to the group of girls. Rachel appears much mollified now, as do Missy and the others. They’re all girlish giggles and coquettish smirks and Rachel sends some of the gals to collect the other boys, to set everything in order for a game of Spin the Bottle.

While she does this, Stan drags Ford to one side again, hissing, “Alright, Sixer - now’s the time I need your big brains.”

“Wh-? How-? Why?” Ford stumbles over the questions, because as far as he can tell, they’re all intrinsically linked together. Stan explains, “You can like, tell me the best way to spin the bottle. Use maths and wind velocity and science to tell me how best ta make sure it lands on Rachel.”

“I...” Ford starts, but then someone walks up to them. It’s Becky Gilmore, another girl from Rachel’s pack, and she bats her eyelashes at them as she plays with a strand of her dark hair, “Hi! Hey, uh, can-can I talk to Stanford for a sec?”

“He’s Stanford,” Stan points to him even as Ford says, “I’m Stanford.” Both sound surprised as they give this information, but Becky is unfazed, “Um, yeah - I know. Look, can I just-?”

She sneaks out one slim hand to grab at one of Ford’s wrists, dragging him away from Stan who - clearly thinking this is a good thing - gives his brother a big smile and two thumbs up. Once out of Stan’s earshot, Becky says brightly, “’Key, so, Rachel’s like, all about your brother. Like, he has acne and whatever, but she totally wants to kiss him.”

Ford does his best to parse her words, separating the good from the bad, and doing his oh, so best not to comment on the bad, because it really gets his goat, teeth on edge at the acne remark. But Becky, clueless, just continues on, “I think maybe she’s trying to make Joey jealous, ‘cause I know they broke up about three weeks ago and she’s pretty sure he’s running around with Cheryl Manchino and we all know about Cheryl Manchino-”

(Actually, Ford knows nothing about Cheryl Manchino.)

“-but my point is, we definitely need to get your brother to lock lips with Rachel, but with the way the circle’s looking that might be problematic with you there, not to mention I mean, you’re - I mean, you’re cute and all and totally smart but like, I mean, I would never want to offend you or anything, but, okay - you get what I’m saying, right?”

Ford, amazingly, does get what Becky is saying.

His face colors and he hides his hands behind his back and feels like complete trash. Becky, seeming to pick up on this somewhat, lightly taps one of his shoulders, “Aw! There, there, kitty kitty! You wouldn’t’ve enjoyed this game anyway, right?”

“...no.” his voice is so soft as to be near silent, “I suppose not.”

“Great!” Becky returns with the same amount of sparkle she uses on the cheerleading field, “Then how’s about you set your brother riiiiiight-” she drags the word out as she looks around the circle, before pointing to a certain spot, “-there! Rachel and us girls are going to make sure the bottle picks him for sure. And you can stand on the sidelines in case we need an assist, ‘kay?”

Ford nods numbly and Becky bounces off. When he returns to Stan, he does his best to play stoic.

He fails miserably.

“Whoa,” Stan breathes, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“That ain’t ‘nothing’,” Stan says pointing at his face, “That’s ‘Crampelter gave me shit’ face and he ain’t here. So? What is it?”

“I told you,” Ford hisses, “Nothing.”

“What did Becky say to you?” Stan asks and there’s such heat in the question. Anger and accusation and Ford pushes up his glasses and pours on the ice, “It’s not important. You’re going to miss out on the game, Stanley. Now, you asked for my help and considering the curvature of the bottle and the state of the floor I would suggest sitting-!”

“I suggest you tell me what she said before I make a scene,” the words sizzle out of Stan’s mouth and close to Ford’s ear, nearly scalding it and Ford can feel the barely leashed fury rolling off his brother in waves and he starts shaking his head, “You know, maybe I just don’t want to talk about it, Stanley! Did you ever think of that?”

Stan actually stands up straighter, looking startled, “Holy shit...what did she say?”

Ford lets out an aggravated breath and points to the exact spot Becky indicated, “You want your kiss? You want Rachel? SIT. DOWN. THERE. I’ll be outside!”

With that said, Ford exits the house. He starts walking down the neighborhood street, but he doesn’t get far before he’s being yanked back, Stanley’s hand turning him around roughly, “Just where the hell do you think you’re-?!”

“DO YOU WANT TO KISS HER OR NOT?!” the shout escapes Ford before he can leash it and it seems to echo in the empty streets. Thankfully Rachel’s neighbors seem to be tucked in for the night and no one left her house to follow them. 

Stan, regardless, shushes him even as he seethes, “Not more than I want to know whatever the hell is up with you! You’ve been sulking all night, Sixer - hell, you been sulking the past couple of weeks if we’re gonna be honest about it!”

Ford looks down at his feet, kicks at the pavement even as Stan charges on, “Then Becky pulls you aside and whatever she says seems to be the last straw and I don’t get-!”

“She said I shouldn’t play, alright!” Ford snaps, “She said I should-should sit the game out and that Rachel wants to kiss you and-and...” he falters, drops off, because he doesn’t want to hurt Stan’s feelings. 

He doesn’t want to tell him about the comments on his acne or how he might just be a ploy in some plot to make someone jealous because he does want his brother to have something nice - even if it’s fleeting, “And you should go back in there and get what you want!”

“...Becky said you shouldn’t play?”

“She-she figured I-I wouldn’t enjoy it anyway and she’s...she’s not wrong...”

“No,” Stan breathes in loudly through his nostrils, his hands curling into fists, “She’s wrong. She’s very wrong and if she wasn’t a girl, I’d pound her right in the face!”

“Stanley,” Ford sighs, suddenly very, very tired, “You shouldn’t want to pound anyone in the face. Boy or girl. And certainly not for my sake.”

“Whose sake would it be for then?” Stan returns, “I’ve told you time and time again, I’m here for you. I’ll protect you, I’ll-!”

“You won’t always be there for me, Stanley.”

This remark stops Stan short. Makes his eyes widen in alarm, “What-? What does that mean?”

“...I think you know.”

“I sure as fuck don’t!”

“Language, Stanley.”

“Fuck your language!” Stan growls and comes closer. He gets in Ford’s personal space and Ford can feel the heat radiating off him. He’s very much the monster he’s dressed as - exuding power and force and deadly seriousness as he looks at him, “I will always be there for you. Always.”

Ford lets out a sad, watery sound. He looks away and there’s a restless wind that seems to rise up, to play with his hair and suddenly Stan touches his chin, directs his face back to him, “Look at me.”

The touch is clearly just meant to direct his eyes, but Ford feels it zip throughout his entire central nervous system, feels it shoot out his toes as he looks into Stan’s eyes and his twin says, “Stanford, you ain’t never got to keep anything from me. Alright? You ain’t gotta hide or-or keep to yourself. Thinkin’...thinkin’ maybe now this is why you’ve been poutin’ so much lately, huh? You think we’re going to be apart?”

“Stanley...”

“That I’m not going to be there for you? Because I will be, Sixer. Always and forever. You should know that.”

Another sigh, “Rachel...”

“She’s just some broad,” Stan promises, and then, with a chuckle, “A cute one, but just the same. She’s not as important as you are. Never will be.”

“You-” Ford swallows around a big lump in his throat, his heart aching, “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Why not? You’re family.”

And it’s that, that last word, that helps Ford grab a hold of his senses. He gulps and lets out a shaky laugh, “Uh, yeah - yeah. I am. And, uh, as your family - I...I think you should go back in there. Get your big kiss.”

Stan seems to thinking it over, but more for show than anything, as he cracks with a laugh, “Nah, forget it. Plenty of fish in the sea.”

The breath that leaves Ford sounds as if he’s pushing off a sob. Which makes sense. Ford feels like sobbing. He feels strangely vulnerable and exposed. More so when Stan just. Keeps. Pushing. “’Sides, if they’re not going to let you play...”

“I told you,” Ford manages weakly, pathetically, “Becky wasn’t wrong. I don’t want to play.”

Stan doesn’t say anything for awhile and it’s good. It’s great. Ford can feel his lungs filling with air, can feel his sanity returning, can feel himself pushing away from the ledge of tears. Stan didn’t mean for the things he said to sound so-so romantic. So much what Ford wants to hear.

He was being a good brother.

Ford wants to do the same - needs to do the same.

But then.

“Stanford, any...any of those girls would be lucky to kiss you...”

And that’s it. 

It’s the funniest thing.

That’s the thing that breaks Ford. That’s the thing that pushes him over that ledge. That’s the thing that leads him to cry out, “I don’t WANT to kiss THEM, Stanley! I WANT-! I want-!”

And Stan’s looking at him as if he’s never seen him before. As if Ford is some stranger - raving and demonic and he is - he truly is. Because with an anguished whimper, he grabs Stan and forcibly tugs him over. He seals his lips over Stan’s.

He kisses him.

He kisses him.

Ford kisses Stanley.

The sound of pure shock that leaves Stan sears Ford’s soul and Ford catches a glimpse of Stan’s eyes - big and round and white. Startled. Stunned. Maybe even terrified. So he closes his own as he brushes his tongue against his twin’s inert mouth, as he eases just so between the seam of them to get the taste he’s always feverishly dreamed of and then-!

Ford pushes him away as hard as he can, as hard as he tugged him over to begin with. He pushes him away and with a choked ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’ he runs. He runs and runs. He runs off into the dark Halloween night and prays that Stan will forget what happened. 

[imaginaryhuman]

Insecurities, Fortitude and the Unfortunate Phenomenon of Gatekeeping

Note:

1. I'm trying to not be afraid of my own opinions (this will probably get a different word wall)

2. This isn't a hot take or a "permanent opinion". It's just...current. I think opinions fit a dynamic mold. Or I think it should since circumstances change and experiences can change thought processes.

3. My initial draft for this was a lot more aggressive and angry. When I started writing, I thought I would only tackle the one thing I was very familiar with (insecurities), then I read an article that miffed me a bit because of the gatekeeping vibes, and for a while, I was angry about it but then I realized how common it was. I've heard it from my brothers, I've experienced it with fandoms, with books, with cooking, and with running. There's even a subreddit for it! 👀

It's not like I'd wake up one day and it will be gone. Still, it does push me a few steps back when it comes to conquering slight misanthropy. But it matters to me to say this cause I grew up seeing myself as some last draw.

_____________________________________________________________

"I feel most responsible for myself when I'm insecure" I've wanted to expound on this for a while so here goes:

I've grown to have an intimate (and rather painful) relationship with insecurities. I was a sickly child so I would be in and out of hospitals so frequently that establishing young friendships didn't come easy. Some kids didn't take kindly to impermanence too and it's not anyone's fault. It just happened to be that way. Growing up, I came to realize that I wasn't exactly great at anything. Had I not been exposed to extraordinary minds, maybe I would have come to terms with it much kindly except I wasn't. I always thought that people around me were brilliant, smart, and talented (until now). To the point where I felt the need to alienate myself from it all so I could remain in the forefront of my own mind.

Comparisons come naturally but having them weigh on you is a different ball game altogether. Learning ways out of it is always challenging because insecurities aren't just a singular form of monster-- Sometimes it's about the future, sometimes it's body image, sometimes it's the gripping idea of not being enough for anything you love and it's all so cursed and horrible.

There was that time when more things were piled up on the mental shelving. I was talking shit about someone. Sure, people do it all the time but I think that time I was... viciously and purposelessly nitpicking. Everything I could say about that person, I said it. Totally not proud of that moment and a friend thought so too! First, they told me to shut the fuck up. Just like that, really. Next is they pointed it out. As in told me "V, you have a problem and it's really fine being a total hater but you're not usually like this with other things you dislike. What's wrong?" and then we EXPLORED. Doing this can be so cringe a lot of times but hey, we face the music in this club! I was happy to not be thinking about it alone and the experience made me learn a new way of confronting things and issues that make me feel insecure.

We talked about the whats, whys, and hows of being one hell of a hater and how even if certain reasons are justified. Like, okay, someone did something bad to you and you hate them for it? That's totally valid. Do you find certain traits a bit off your tastes? that's valid too! But even if they are valid feelings, most of the time it's not enough to justify certain actions. The thing is, we don't really have the right to be so up in someone's business about every little thing they do. It's frustrating and I feel like a hypocrite saying this sometimes because I have the obsessive compulsion to keep everyone at arm's length but I feel like there's a parameter where peoples' businesses either become something welcome or becomes a blip on a radar that I'd aggressively shoot down. Although I know that my radar can get too wide and that I need some willpower to hold back snark and suspicion. What can I say, I'm weak to any notions of ill-intent (a byproduct of assault).

But fortitude would sometimes come from borrowed words:

"Don't deny yourself what you think but don't do yourself a disservice by not figuring out what it really is about"

I was told then. To be truthful but exercise tact (I'm neither tactful, clever nor silent hence the trouble that follows) and to be mindful of the undercurrents of my thoughts. I think it's important to take a step back and at least ask yourself the most honest and genuine whys.

Insecurity has a bad rep and is too often used derogatorily for something so common and rather natural. But I feel that ultimately, insecurity stems from an understanding of what you don't have and the frustration of having aspirations. Having aspirations being a good thing but the frustration makes us people act up in so many different ways. For me, insecurities have primarily manifested themselves through the urge to just hide everything that makes me happy because I couldn't (and it's still hard to) stand digs at the things I do to keep me sane. Plus I've always thought them (happy things) few and temporary so that's that. Younger me was weird about it omg.

The rule in this house now though is to express what makes me happy and I think I've saved up a bit of grit to not allow myself to be gatekept (by others and by myself**) from those happy things! I love a lot of things (baking, running, reading, pets, anime & manga, drawing...) and the gatekeeping going on with all those? Surprisingly plenty! A totally different word block (that I won't write because I think this has to be put to rest here), really, and also a total nightmare. But how it applies in the realm of insecurities is... Oh, boi. Ignore it-- it's just bad news as it is strong fuel to a fire you don't want to keep going. If you love doing what you do and you're not hurting anyone then just keep going. I know for a fact that the things I love doing are loved by many others too because running? Creating things? Reading? These are things worth loving without it having to be a competitive chore (If you wanna challenge goals though then hey! Good on you! YOU CAN DO IT!)

Draw your lines, plan your layering in a way that fits your style. Use the tools that work for you. Put on your shoes and get going. I'm only particular with speed because I want to get better (and lol I am not fast) but just being out there and moving? That's already running. Fail some recipes or nail em, whatever happens, just try. Fangirl over what you wanna fangirl about! Post it on your IG and all your other socials. A rather horrifying realization is that no matter what you do, someone's gonna take a dunk at ya. Worse, you can be intentionally approached and engaged for that purpose primarily. It's okay (not really but... if it happens, it happens ). Even if you're used to it, it will still get to you but maybe less and less through time. When the voice of apprehension guides you to retaliate in the most painful way you know, just keep the fear at bay and be strong to not let that urge take over your words and actions. Be frustrated! It's fine! And I really don't support self-harm so please don't misunderstand when I say that when it comes to fear and insecurity, there's a lot you have to take on yourself so you don't hurt others. A lot to unpack between you and your brain. There are people who can love you without patronizing you and those you can trust to reign you in when you lose better judgment. Be honest and let them in.

Have that conversation.

//

Extras:

- AH! But I got to say this cause I also saw a post that said "if you haven't ran 50 to 100 miles, you don't know what a hard run is" wow. Fuck that guy. Actually, don't. He's probably not a fun date.

- this: "you can be intentionally approached and engaged for that purpose primarily" is from experience. An extra worse thing is to be vilified for retaliating. Like...was I just supposed to sit there and take it?

- I used to not like motivational quotes! I mean, I'm alright with them now for sure! We were talking about them and I was asked "What's wrong with properly credited borrowed words? You use them all the time since you like referencing songs." and it was like a tunnel of light appeared before me! Sorry for those whose post I've frowned at! I had an angst phase! I am very genuinely sorry 🙏🏻

[iwaisa]

request. HeLLO mAY I PLS GET THE WHOLE ALPHABET WITH SUNA? IF THATS OKAY SKSKSK TY IN ADVANCE 💕 - anon

a/n. HEY NONNIE!! congrats you’re my last sfw alphabet request 🥳🥳 thank you for requesting!!

► now playing... 

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

↳ he’s actually very clingy. he loves seeing you get annoyed with him lol it makes him giddy on the inside. he always drapes himself over you, reaching down to lace his fingers with yours until you’re shoving him off.

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

↳ he’s definitely seen you around the school before, but why were you with the twins? turns out they were asking for some tutoring help, and upon seeing suna, atsumu told him to join too because he also needed help. he was angry at atsumu for embarrassing him in front of you - his classmate and crush but nothing more. he would always try to get closer to you, telling you he needs more help with english. both you and him know it isn’t true.

c - cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

↳ he loves them <3 he loves laying on his back with your head resting on his stomach/arm.

d - domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

↳ lowkey shy about admitting that he definitely does. because he’s friends with osamu, he’s picked up on a few cooking tricks so yes, he does know how to cook. he cleans everything religiously. his room, his body, everything.

e - ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

↳ he knows he has to end it in person - it’s far more courteous than over the phone. he knows the twins and the rest of the volleyball team will be disappointed to lose their #1 fan, but god didn’t plan for you two to end up together apparently.  

f - fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

↳ he would want to wait until the two of you have enough money, a fully furnished home, and have been living there for about a year. he has it all planned out, plus where and when he will get down on one knee.

g - gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

↳ super gentle and super doting at the same time. he will never snap at you - he’s terrified of what would happen if he did. he knows he looks uninterested whenever you give him affection, but he truly tries to reciprocate it.

h - hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

↳ light but warm!! suna doesn’t accidentally want to crush you because he will. he has an impulse to just *squeeze* but he has to stop himself.

i - i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

↳ he actually says it really quickly. he knows, plus he’s been planning to since they day you first got together.

j - jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

↳ not that jealous, he just puts his guard up. he’ll grab your waist/arm and pull you into his side if anyone tries anything with you. he loves whenever you kiss him in front of someone trying to flirt with him.

k - kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

↳ slowwwww and passionate. suna likes taking it slow, therefore he definitely loves trailing his kisses down from your lips to your jawline, to your neck. he loves being kissed on his neck.

l - little ones (how are they around children?)

↳ really good with them. he’ll talk to them, play with them, the whole shebang.

m - morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

↳ he loves waking up and making the two of you a cute little breakfast <3 the two of you eat together at the table, talking about funny things either of you have said in your sleep.

n - night (how are nights spent with them?)

↳ he loves cooking with you. it doesn’t matter if you’re making dinner based on a recipe from osamu or just heating up some ramen. he just loves talking to you and bonding with you.

o - open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

↳ he might take a month, but he honestly loves holding a conversation with you that the topic just switches and all of a sudden he’s talking about his whole life since he was a baby.

p - patience (how easily angered are they?)

↳ very very patient. he’s forgiving also, but only if he can get a few teasing remarks in.

q - quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

↳ he doesn’t exactly have the best memory, but he teases you for forgetting things </3. he remembers all of the important stuff, but something you said months ago he won’t remember unless it was some excruciating piece of information.

r - remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

↳ the first time you said that you loved him. you listed all of the things you found cute about him, but little did you know that he’s been keeping notes of all of the things you’ve been doing that make his heart flutter.

s - security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

↳ super protective. he will snap anyone’s fingers if they try anything with you and him. he loves when you try to physically block him from anyone’s view and defend him.

t - try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

↳ he tries </3 but that’s all that matters. he loves seeing your face light up each time he introduces a new date idea or gives you a gift that he saw you looking at on your phone.

u - ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

↳ people tend to think he’s unexpressive. once he hears what they think, he avoids them. he starts avoiding people more so they don’t assume the wrong thing about him. he’s very detached from everyone.

v - vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

↳ he’s not concerned, he just makes sure that he looks good for you 🥺

w - whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

↳ he constantly wonders if he’s to blame. was he too bland? too unexpressive? did it come off as him not caring? he did care, and he still does. but he can’t when he knows you’re both supposed to be healing. it’s still fresh after all - and suna isn’t getting over you anytime soon.

x - xtra (a random headcanon for them)

↳ HE LIKES CHUUPET (fruit jelly things) HES SO CUTE GBJWBGJ- anyways. he buys tons of them and just keeps them in a cabinet at home specifically labelled for him.

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

↳ since he actually does really love hanging out with the more chaotic people (atsumu) and the calmer people (osamu, aran, kita, etc.) he doesn’t care if someone is chaotic or calm. he likes em all. BUT,,, he doesn’t really dig people who are pessimistic about everything.

z - zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

↳ he likes to take extra time brushing his teeth and washing his face to make sure he looks his best. he likes listening to music as he’s falling asleep, but wakes up to take his earbuds out because they start to hurt his ears.

issa’s 200 follower event - now closed

[fruitsvillage]

for the ACNH ask meme: all the odds! {P.S. my gf and I just made a brand new ACNH blog and our url is claires-crossing if anyone is interested in aesthetic inspo and pics from our island!

oh lmfao ok here we go then:  1. which tools do you usually carry?

I usually carry like every useful tool imaginable just in case i need it! Like the vaulting pole, the ladder, a shovel, an axe etc etc and also my wand!! also i actually have a preference for using the ‘colorful’ themed tools like the shovel, fishing rod, and the star net

3. how did you choose your island name?

My last town in ACNL was named Fruits, after the Japanese fashion magazine and also just bcos i wanted it to have a lot of different fruits in it! I didn’t want to use the exact same name again in ACNH so originally hoped i would be able to use ‘fruit salad’ but that’s one character too long so then i thought of ‘fruit cup’ like the little plastic cups of fruit, u know, and went with that instead!!

5. what part of your island did you decorate/terraform first?

omg i dont even remember bcos i have completely overhauled my island like twice. probably i think i made a garden out in front of my house? but i didnt keep anything from the original plan. partially bcos i didnt realize that like 1) u can place villagers houses literally Wherever on ur island. like i thot that since i didnt have bridges or that parts of my island were inaccessible to villagers if i put them in isolated places that the game may not Let me just like Trap them. and 2. i didnt think it was going to be so expensive to move buildings around so i literally just put their houses Wherever with the attitude that ‘i’ll just move em later, nbd’ lmfaooo

7. what’s your most and least favorite hourly music? 

anything from about 4am to 7am i like well enough!! but the majority of the hourly music kind of blends in to each other in a way in dont personally find enjoyable.

9. do you gift wrap gifts to villagers/friends?

i dont usually wrap gifts to villagers unless its on their bday!! and i gift wrap trade items- mostly just to color coordinate and organize them!! if i give gifts to my friends when we meet up ill gift wrap them if i have time but usually i just mail things to them!

11. answered!!

13. do you dig up fossils and hit rocks every day? 

i’ll dig up fossils if im in need of a few bells real quick but i only hit rocks if they are in the way or if i need materials. i usually get rid off all my rocks bc im too lazy to make a Rock Circle somewhere and i just. dont like em lol.

15. do you find it easier to decorate indoors or landscape outdoors? 

i think its easier to decorate indoors bc of the nice decorating feature!! i just wish that the rooms in ur main house could all be 8x8 like on harvey’s island. bc that’s how i plan out all my rooms!!

17. how many hours have you spent on acnh? 

680+ u__u

19. how many items are in your storage? 

514!

21. answered!

23. how many bells do you usually have on you?

mm usually around 30-50k. but thats bcos i was usually trying to pay off my home loans and im gonna take my time on the last one bc like. it’s as big as it’s gonna get.

25. do you collect your bonus miles at the nook stop every day? 

no im way too lazy/forgetful lol

27. have you used any landscaping glitches (fourth level glitch, tree on cliff edge glitch, etc)? 

no im too lazy plus i dont REALLY like to terraform that much!

29. what’s one recipe/clothing/furniture you just cant get but everyone else seems to have? 

i was gonna say the plain wood sign recipe but i just got that 2day in a trade so. that one but i have it now uwu

31. answered!

33. do you prefer fishing or catching bugs? 

hmm  i love both SO much!! i do kinda prefer bug catching slightly more just bc u can See what bug it is. also i used to go to the island in acnl and catch beetles like every nite i miss doing that... ive tried to visit mystery islands to catch them but they seem to be much more rare than in acnl

35. what is the date on your island? 

it’s currently august 6, 9:49pm!!

[kvltprince]

I was tagged by the lovely @leporidaefluff (Thank you! it was the push i needed to get started on this instead of just going oh~ neat~!)

Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same. Sorry if anyone has already been tagged, no obligation. @ heathie on whatever acct cos im a dumbass an i miss your bois(you miss em too), @randomwordsandstormydays, @randomfuzzbunny, @jornaquinn @chrysocolladawn ( @somewhere-withoutyou if you would...) and anyone else who would enjoy doing this. (if i get tagged again ill do anther oc. i would tag a few others but i feel weird tagging ppl i dont like ever talk to lol.)

What is your name?

"Lucy Grandchester, yeah that one.” 

How old are you?

“Fourty-five unless you are getting nitpicky about cryostasis. That doesn’t count unless I am joking with a ghoul, honestly.”

What do you look like?

He lets out a small half chuckle, "Oh, we are doing this okay. I’ll bite. Slightly short middle aged punk, long greying curly hair, undercut, with one leg and too many tattoos?”

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

Lucy uncomfortably takes down his hair and redoes his messy bun while sighing and becoming a bit short. “I’m from just the other side of that irradiated water near that gas station south of here. Name kinda gives it away. You have seen it? I honestly am not sure how it’s standing still between the bombs and everything else. It’s looked after now, and is a surprise asset to still have. I lived in Boston for a while after all that, and back in this area once Nuka World was opened, then back in the Boston area, and would you look at that I am back in Nuka World and it is a lot more comfortable now.”

What was your childhood like?

"...Unstable, for everyone. It got a bit better once my parents were dead... are we done with this line of questions? Or am I excusing you?”

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“Well, I started out trying to play nicely vaguely with anyone that didn’t try to shoot me first. That.... hasn’t stayed how it is. At least not fully, though i generally play nice until I am given a reason not to. I am friendly with the Disciples, the Operators, several of the Children of Atom groups that haven't irradiated their sense out of their heads yet, the Railroad.”

Tell me about your best friend.

He finally visibly relaxes the rest of the way after that history business, and takes a drink of a quantum. “Oh only one best friend? Are we in high school again? aw Alright. We have some parallel histories.” He swirls the glowing drink, but doesn't let himself get lost in his head too far. “Great humor, puts up with my shit somehow, doesn't blow my sneaking. Laugh that could take on the world even though they probably wouldn't. No I am not spoiling who I decided on. A man has to have some secrets somewhere and mine are in short supply”

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

“My son Shaun never ceases to surprise me with what he can come up with, and how well adjusted he is. Codsworth is still helping out with the household, and helping keep Shaun from disassembling live turrets while I am away, though now he is living here at Fizztop with us. Surprisingly it seems to be an alright setup, and Shaun has taught a few people some upgrades in their downtime. There is enough room to keep things comfortable, and I have done some park remodeling since I arrived. My closest companions that don’t hate my choices I have made I consider family, but that has become a smaller circle than before.”

What about a partner or partners?

“Gage of course, he is my husband for whatever it is worth in the wasteland. Otherwise I suppose that depends how you are defining that. I am an affectionate person and some people seem to have rather strict definitions of where the edge of friend and partner should be”

Who are your enemies, and why?

“Several people aren’t speaking to me very well at best after I have settled into the Overboss seat here, on a personal level. The Pack were wiped out. The Brotherhood were wiped out. The Institute were wiped out. The minutemen are pretty pissed understandably. The Gunners still show up in vertibirds sometimes and are still pretty fun target practice. My settlements are generally comfortable, and my outposts mostly only have problems with gunners or trappers. Minor annoyances.”

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“Yeah, of course. I think they got too headstrong for their flightsuits. I mean I understand but you really can’t do that shit and expect no repercussions. It was quite a firework show honestly, I wonder how far away the heat was felt..”

What about The Enclave?

"I don’t know much about them, only one of their ex-soldiers, he didn’t exactly tell me much. Cute, a bit odd. Not sure if it is the radiation that did that or not.”

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

He has a flash of a pensive thought drift across his face “There’s a few that aren’t so bad. Obviously the FEV isn’t mass-curable though, so not exactly much of a choice what to do about them unless you like getting a rocket launcher or a nuke in your face.”

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“Proobably~ around Bunker Hill, It was just, A Lot. That whole time was not just the specific fight. I don’t remember a lot of it, I’m pretty sure Gage half dragged me home after the main running around and meetings after the fight. I don’t think I had a full thought for a while.”

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

He thumb points to a sniper rifle leaning against the wall “Yeah, too often, thankfully usually I see them first, and I’ve gotten the sneaking thing down. They make pretty good steaks.”

Do you like fighting?

“Sometimes, honestly. Something tired and overstated about old habits or something boring. Really though, it is exciting and keeps the boredom away. Playfighting and sparring will do, no need to draw blood. I guess. Good to keep knife and sneaking skills sharp however you can.”

What’s your weapon of choice?

“A modded real sharp Throatslicer she called it, I swear Nisha found this thing in the loading dock or something it is the nicest box-cutter I have ever owned. Opens up anything.”

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

“Outlive everything around me usually by not being seen, notice it first, shoot it faster, stab it more, talk my way out of it, or by luck. I have zero real idea, but I can eat nearly anything and I bet that helps too.”

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

"Of course, there are a bunch, and I was ushered into 111 to turn my life upside down. They seem to only be any good for salvage, horror stories, clean water sometimes, and if you are real lucky a trade post and a shave. I have a settlement vault that is doing well that I have taken over and built up, but that is not Vault-Tec related, obviously.”

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

“I have a few recipes that are good for radiation, though it doesn't affect me very badly overall and I am slow to feel any sickness. I suspect that one day I will turn into a ghoul.” He is rather matter of fact and unbothered by this, and hints that he knows that not getting sick much from radiation means just that.

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

“Probably the stags and gazelles and other herd animals. They are overall unchanged other than most have two heads now, they are still nice to watch”

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

“Honestly? radscorpions? Those fuckers are too quick and you cant shoot them cos they tunnel and they knock you on your ass and poison you and just UGH”

How do you feel about robots?

"Robots are alright if they are not causing trouble. Some of them are nice. Jezebel is not so nice, but she is guarding red rocket and bitching the entire time so shes no longer my problem. The Rust Devil’s robots are a pain in my ass for real.”

How many caps do you have on you right now?

"Plenty.”

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

He cocks his head slightly “I havent heard that one in a while. Depends on the flavor of Nuka Cola, I do like Sunset Sarsaparilla though, if you have any.”

Do you do chems?

"Not recreationally anymore. No, not because of him.” He nods toward Gage “It just, gets out of hand”

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

"Not as often as you would expect, I mean obviously there is the ‘oh i remember when that wasn't destroyed’ of things, but things are more comfortable than I thought they could be”

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

His eyes narrow slightly “I don’t really do regret. Things were done the way they were because it was the choice at the time. A choice now for an old situation isn’t helpful to living my current life or my old life. I am not living then, I am living now.” 

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“Surviving all of this, and myself. Creating this strange semi-stability in this post apocalyptic place.”

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

“Keep me and mine safe, happy as we can be, and I hope that my found-family never fully stops growing. Curious what the future holds for my raiders and friends, there is so much potential, it could be risky but it is there. For once it is a good solid place to be, and it’s mine.” Lucy polishes off his questionable as hell drink with a smile.

[grailbot143]

42 Followers Special

As promised, here is something fun we put together to celebrate 42 followers. Originally I planned to make a character sheet, but I also thought I’d know a a bit more about the characters backgrounds by the time I got 42. After all, I only had 27 last week, and the week before… plenty of time, right? So I decided to do this instead. When I watch this and other shows I often imagine them in terms of DnD sessions and I like to imagine how the DM will react to some of the stuff that shows up. I really like the episode CheeseBurger BackPack for this because it seems like a DnD session with an incredibly stupid amount of luck for the characters, but I decided I’d start at the beginning… sort of, I’ll probably go back and do a session 0 when I know a bit more.

So thanks to all my followers. And a special thanks for the shoutout from mindareadsoots

Campaign: Crystal Gems

Session 1: Gem Glow

MotelCalifornia : You guys already have a map of the town. You’re at your house here on the beach. It’s afternoon. It’s sunny outside. What do you want to do?

ShieldsNRoses : I brought snacks. They’re called Cookie Cats. My own special recipe.

AwesomeSaucem : AWESOME! Gimme!

MotelCalifornia : Alright, guys. Thanks Roses. What do you want to do first?

ShieldsNRoses : Ooh, I want to go to ‘The Big Donut’

MotelCalifornia : Ok, Steven goes to 'The Big Donut’. You guys going to stay at home?

AwesomeSaucem : Sure y not

MotelCalifornia : Alright, so Steven goes to the donut shop. The store is mostly glass windows in the front with posters for local events and advertisements taped to it. There is a giant donut on top. He enters and sees the two teenage shopkeepers running the store. Steven knows them as Lars and Sadie. Let’s switch over to the others for a bit. Rolls The house is invaded by giant bugs that look like a cross between centipedes and beetles.

Pearlescence : I want to roll to see what we know about these creatures.

MotelCalifornia : Okay, make an Insight check.

Pearlescence : Rolls low

MotelCalifornia : Alright, you manage to remember that this would probably spit acid, but nothing else for now.

Pearlescence : Alright I tell the others. Be careful! These things spit acid.

ShieldsNRoses : Hey, I wanna buy something.

MotelCalifornia : Uh, sure-

ShieldsNRoses : I wanna buy a Cookie Cat!

MotelCalifornia : I have a list of their inventory, my dude. They don’t have Cookie Cats.

ShieldsNRoses : Nooooooooooo! This can’t be happening! This has to be a dream! Lars! Lars! I grab him around the waist. Please tell me I’m dreaming!

MotelCalifornia : Uh alright Get off me man I’m stocking here!

ShieldsNRoses : Cmon dad! You totally should have put cokie cats here!

MotelCalifornia : Sorry kiddo, I just didn’t put it on the list… Hold on, I think I can do something. Sadie then says sorry steven I guess they stopped making them

ShieldsNRoses : Stopped Making Them!? Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Catss?

ShieldsNRoses : They’re only the most scrumcius and delicius ice cream Sandwich ever made!!! Dont they have laws for thsi!?

AwesomeSaucem : lol

MotelCalifornia : Lars Tough bits man! nobody buys them any more. I guess they couldn’t compete with lion lickers

ShieldsNRoses : Ugh Not lion licers! nobody likes them.. they dont even look liek lions! Kids these days, I tell you what.

MotelCalifornia : Gotta stop letting you watch King of the Hill.

MotelCalifornia : [PM to Pearlescence : I can do something with this. When he gets back to the house, tell him you heard they were dicontinued and bought a bunch.]

MotelCalifornia : Lars Well if you miss your wimpy icecream so much why don’t you make some with your “magic belly button” He walks away laughing

ShieldsNRoses : Thats not how it works Lars! Right?

MotelCalifornia : Yeah, it isn’t but im gonna take that as in character

ShieldsNRoses : ya thats fine. Oh sweet Cookie Cats. I draw a catface on the ccokie cat freezer. With your crunchy cookie outsides and your icy creamy insides. You were to good for this world. I kiss the freezer.

AwesomeSaucem : dude wth we already know ur proud ur snacks but u dont gotta sell em to us

MotelCalifornia : uh… Steven do you want to take the freezer with you???

ShieldsNRoses : nods I go home with the freezer im hummin this song

[ShieldsNRoses sent an audio file]

AwesomeSaucem : is this just you humming???? wut song even is this??

Pearlescence : You have a lovely voice.

STELLA: nice

MotelCalifornia: Just wait until you get to hear the actual song. Back to the others. You guys are fighting the centipeetles.

Pearlescence: How many are there?

MotelCalifornia: You see 12 in the main area of the house. 1 by the fridge, 1 in the living room, 1 near the warp pad, 1 by the front door. Roll for Initiative.

—I’m not going to write out a whole fight scene, that sounds really boring, so I’m going to skip it and put in 3 dashes anywhere fighting would be… —

ShieldsNRoses: can I be home now

MotelCalifornia: Sure. You are at the door.

ShieldsNRoses: Hey, guys! You won’t believe this!

MotelCalifornia: You are attacked the moment you step in the door. Roll for initiative.

—

AwesomeSaucem: 'Sup, Steven?

—

ShieldsNRoses: Awesome! What are these things?

Pearlescence: Ugh! Sorry, Steven. We’ll get these Centipeetles out of your room. We think they were trying to get into the temple.

ShieldsNRoses: Aw. You don’t have to get rid of them. They’re really cool.

MotelCalifornia: The one she’s still holding takes this chance to try to spit acid at Steven and Rolls misses. It splashes to the floor between you two

—

AwesomeSaucem: I wanna do an insight chck on them

MotelCalifornia: sure

AwesomeSaucem: Rolls alright

MotelCalifornia: ok you notice that they don’t have gems

AwesomeSaucem: Um, you guys? These things don’t have gems.

STELLA: That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.

Pearlescence: We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt.

ShieldsNRoses: Oh! Oh! Can I come?! Can I?! can I?!

Pearlescence : Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, I roll to snap the neck of the one I’m holding we’ll take care of protecting humanity, okay? Rolls well

AwesomeSaucem: heh rad

ShieldsNRoses : Aw, man.

MotelCalifornia: One of the centipeetles decides to start raiding the fridge

ShieldsNRoses: Hey! Get out of there! Go on! Shoo! Shoo! Aw! they got into everything! Not cool!

MotelCalifornia: While shooing it away you notice the freezer is full of cookie cats

ShieldsNRoses: lol No way. It can’t be! where dya get these?! I thought they stopped making them! thx dad

Pearlescence : Well, we heard that, too, and since they’re your favorite…

AwesomeSaucem : We went out and stole a bunch.

Pearlescence : I went back and paid for them.

STELLA: The whole thing was my idea.

AwesomeSaucem : It was everyone’s idea.

STELLA: Not really.

Pearlescence : All that matters is that Steven is happy.

[ShieldsNRoses sends an audio file]

Pearlescence: Is this the song you were humming earlier?

AwesomeSaucem : omg, i <3 this song! u write lyrics 2?

STELLA: nice

ShieldsNRoses: I can’t believe you did this. I’m gonna save these forever! Right after I eat this one. Hello, old friend. Oh, so good! I like to eat the ears first.

MotelCalifornia: Your gem starts glowing a little

AwesomeSaucem: Uh, Steven…

ShieldsNRoses: Wha-? My gem!

AwesomeSaucem: Quick, try and summon your weapon!

MotelCalifornia: It starts fading slowly

ShieldsNRoses: I don’t know how! Ah, its fading! How do I make it come back?!

Pearlescence: Calm down, Steven. Breathe, don’t force it.

AwesomeSaucem: Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.

STELLA: Please, don’t.

MotelCalifornia: It’s back to normal

ShieldsNRoses: Ah, I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?

Pearlescence: Oh, I’ll go first! I think I remember how it happened. I want to take him to that cherry tree outside the town to show him.

MotelCalifornia: Sure that’s fine. When you get there you find that the petals are falling off the tree all over the place

Pearlescence : Oh! Perfect! Pay attention to these petals_, Steven. The petals’ dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance!_ I summon my weapon and catch one of the petals in my hand. Like so.

AwesomeSaucem: k my turn I wanna do it at the big donut

MotelCalifornia: ok

ShieldsNRoses: wait I take some petals with me

MotelCalifornia: ok you are at the big donut

AwesomeSaucem: I buy a donut then we go to the dumpster in bak

MotelCalifornia: um, ok

ShieldsNRoses: I throw the petals up and try to make the gem glow Wah!

AwesomeSaucem: Did Pearl tell you the “petal thing”?

ShieldsNRoses: Yeah, I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree… I think.

AwesomeSaucem: Listen Steven, all that practice stuff is no fun. Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens. i summon my whip and hit the dumpster See? Didn’t try at all.

MotelCalifornia: Lars comes out the back door and sees you destroyed the dumpster *Lars* Huh?! Again?!

STELLA: my turn

STELLA: outside the lighthouse

MotelCalifornia: ok, you go to the lighthouse

ShieldsNRoses: So I’m supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?

STELLA: Yes.

ShieldsNRoses: rly?

AwesomeSaucem: lol

STELLA: Or… you could link your mind with the energy of all existing matter. Channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem, which results in—At least that’s my way of doin’ it.

Pearlescence: I don’t think that’s how you did it.

STELLA: shrug

ShieldsNRoses: dad did any of that work? Is my gem glowin?

MotelCalifornia: nope

ShieldsNRoses: back to the kitchen then I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. Im gonna just try to make yall be where you were last time exactly So… Garnet and Amethyst were here. Pearl was next to the fridge. Hmm. Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?

AwesomeSaucem: Okay, your majesty. crosses arms

ShieldsNRoses: And Pearl, your foot was like this. I move pearls foot

Pearlescence: I don’t think it works this way, Steven.

ShieldsNRoses: And Garnet, uh… I grab your face and point it up Yeah

STELLA: sure

ShieldsNRoses: Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Oh, wait! I sang the song first. Uh, he’s a frozen treat, all new taste, interstellar war, now available at Ghurven’s. Aww, it was funnier last time. *sigh* Maybe I’m not a real Crystal Gem.

Pearlescence: Don’t be silly, Steven. Of course you are.

AwesomeSaucem: And you’re fun to have around, even if your gem is useless.

AwesomeSaucem: I… mean, you’re one of us, Steven. We’re not the Crystal Gems without you!

ShieldsNRoses: Yeah, even if I don’t have powers, I’ve still got… Cookie Cat! *takes a bite* Mmm, so good.

MotelCalifornia: Your gem glows brightly and a shield comes out of it. It is a round pink shield with a spiral of thorns from the outer edge to the center where there is a rose

Pearlescence _: Steven, it’s a shield!_

ShieldsNRoses: Whoa, what?! I get a shield?! Oooh… yeah!

ShieldsNRoses: Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!

MotelCalifornia: Roll a d20 Steven

ShieldsNRoses: Rolls

MotelCalifornia: Your excitement causes your shield to shoot across the room and ricochet back and forth, but no one gets hurt but the tv gets destroyed

ShieldsNRoses : NOOOO!!!1!

Pearlescence: What’s in these things? Seriously, I am concerned.

MotelCalifornia: You hear a loud roar from outside. A shadow passes over the window looking like an even bigger centipeetle. Steven, your shield disappears

ShieldsNRoses: What was that?

Amethyst: we go out

STELLA: It’s the Mother!

Pearlescence : I follow Amethyst and Garnet outside, but first I tell Steven to Stay in the house, Steven!

ShieldsNRoses: No way, I’m coming too! I go get the cookie ca fridge and fill it with all the cats in the frzr

— some rolling, some fighting, some hiding —

AwesomeSaucem: We could really use Steven’s shield right about now!

ShieldsNRoses: I go outside wfth the frige and extention cord. I plant it in the sand near the monster Hey! Leave them alone!

Gems _: Steven, no!_

ShieldsNRoses _: Cookie Cat Crystal combo powers, activate!_ I eat a cookie cat

MotelCalifornia: what? Your powers don’t activate

ShieldsNRoses: Uh-oh.

MotelCalifornia: the centipeetle attacks you

ShieldsNRoses: Aaaah!

—

Pearlescence: We need to save Steven!

AwesomeSaucem: Can we save ourselves first?!

—

ShieldsNRoses: Goodbye, my friends. I eat several more

MotelCalifornia: nothing happens

ShieldsNRoses: Why isn’t it working?

—

STELLA: Steven!

MotelCalifornia: rolls Steven, you notice your fridge has been hit by a stray blast of acid

ShieldsNRoses _: No… Oh, no no no!…_I try to pick it up

MotelCalifornia: You get electrocuted rolls

ShieldsNRoses: Cookie Cat, he’s a pet for your tummy. Cookie Cat, he’s super duper yummy! I grab it by the cord and drag it to the centipeetle Cookie Cat, he left his family behind! Cookie Caaat! I throw it at him

MotelCalifornia: really? You throw a fridge at him?

ShieldsNRoses: she made me mad

MotelCalifornia: okay, I guess make a strength check?

ShieldsNRoses: * rolls a natural 20* YESSSSS! Now available… nowhere.

AwesomeSaucem: Yes!

STELLA: Gems, weapons! Let’s do it.

—

MotelCalifornia: You defeat the Centipeetle. Its gem drops on the ground

STELLA: I bubble it

ShieldsNRoses: I want to have a funeral for my cookie cats

MotelCalifornia: Sure

ShieldsNRoses: I dig a hole big nuf for a cookie cat rapper. I place the rapper in the hole I cover it with dirt and I put a leaf in the top Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats. I’ll always remember the time we spent together.

MotelCalifornia: Steven, you hear your stomach growling

ShieldsNRoses: Shh, hush now.

AwesomeSaucem: Are you crying? This is so sad, Alexa play Despacito

ShieldsNRoses: Only a little!

AwesomeSaucem: Well, I guess your powers don’t come from ice cream.

Pearlescence: Of course they don’t come from ice cream. Don’t worry, Steven, I’m sure some day you’ll figure out how to activate your gem.

STELLA: Yes, in your own Steven-y way.

ShieldsNRoses: I’m okay guys. I just- Ugh, I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.

MotelCalifornia: Make a constitution check.

[paintedimagining]

tagged by the gorgeous darling and curl sista that is @iamacolor

nickname: Emm, Emmy, Ems, Emmsy....basically any weird variation of my already short name. Though mostly I get called Emm 

zodiac sign: Aries

height: 5ft6″

hogwarts house: Gryffindor/Ravenclaw

last thing i googled: It was a recipe for ‘Egg Drop Soup’ I want to make 

song stuck in my head: Christmas Night (Arr. J. Rutter) it is a carol I’m trying to learn as part of my choir’s carol concert. It's particularly tricky as after the 2nd verse all the choir's sections (soprano, alto, tenor, bass) divide and we all have separate bits to sing within our section. I’m singing Choir 2 which happens to go super high, then super low, and not follow the main tune as the rest of the sopranos in my section do, so it’s bloody complicated and I keep messing it up, especially as there is only 5 of us sopranos singing soprano choir 2, so it’s super easy to get distracted by the other sopranos singing choir 1 which is a completely different tune and the main theme (and there is more of them)  especially if you can’t really hear your neighbours. I’ve pretty much got the higher section down- it’s the lower bit I keep fudging up

followers: 9,122.....jeeze I had no idea it was that much! WHUUUUT! and WHY? 

amount of sleep i get: Oh man that can range wildly from 3hrs to 8hrs+ if fall back asleep 

instruments: Piano....and I guess recorder, but not since Primary School 

random fact: I sing soprano in a local ecclesiastical classical choir 

favorite songs: Omg I have so many! But I guess if I had to pick an all time fav, it would be ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ by Van Morrison because its totally ‘my song’ as a brown eyed lass hee 

wearing: navy comfy pants, t-shirt and a huge woolly jumper that is actually a mans one, but womens jumpers in shops seem to be really thin, so I bought this on sale years ago, so I can actually be warm lol 

dream job: Kinda living it as a fine artist. But I would also love to do conservation and restoration of artwork and historical artefacts, and I’m actually looking into doing a degree in that area

lucky numbers: 13 (if only cos that’s the day I was born on)

aesthetics: I’ve really no idea....guess bohemian, witchy/pagan, child of nature, vintage/retro loving, hippy-ish history & art nerd???

tagging: @hacash @cowboyaddie @neon-green-bra @cosmopolitanbloodloss @silvertyger and anyone else that wants to do it

[izzy-b-hands]

Happy At Home-Part Six

So, first things first, I tried to find a proper source for the recipe I included in this part, but this was the best source I could find lol: https://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/food-and-cooking/the-s-food-in-wartime-and-peace/article_2f98ef78-fccd-50e3-aa8d-e4331dc1170e.html

Anyway, sorry I’ve not gotten to write every day to keep this up, but thru the weekend and into next week I’m trying to find more time to finish this, as well as some one shots I’ve started!

Thanks to all who read/like/reblog! The response I’ve gotten on these Sledgefu pieces has been great, and it has really helped keep up the writing motivation-in short, you all are wonderful!!

“We have bourbon,” Snafu was in the pantry, rifling through everything Sid had bought for them. “Do we really need more than that? Your parents drink that much?” 

“That’ll be fine. Any ideas on a main dish?” 

Snafu popped back out and shrugged. “Not really. You?” 

“Y’ever heard of ‘delicious combination?” Eugene replied. 

Snafu’s eyes went wide. “We have to eat it too, you remember that?” 

“Sacrifices must be made,” Eugene said, though he was aware he was asking for a hell of a sacrifice. Every time his mother had made it, he’d honestly contemplated feigning sickness and skipping dinner. Separately, the ingredients of apples, peas, carrots, celery, pineapple, bananas, mayonnaise, whipping cream, and maraschino cherries could be delightful-all together was another matter in terms of taste and texture. Sure, it was edible, but so were rations even after you’d dropped them in the mud one or five times. 

“Now you know I love you,” Snafu sighed with a smile. “That’s basically a whole meal in one dish. You really think we need anything else?” 

“I know someone who makes amazing beignets,” Eugene said coyly. 

Snafu gave him a look. “You do. But you really want to let them in on somethin’ so good?” 

“The way I see it, is depending on how the night goes, they might all be for us anyway. May as well have at least one leftover we actually want to eat,” Eugene replied. 

“Oh, Sledgehammer, that’s adorable. But if you think we’re saving any of that ‘delicious’ bullshit, then you are dead wrong,” Snafu said. 

“We can’t waste food!” 

“Once you put it all together, it ceases to be food. Therefore, we can toss whatever is left. Don’t even argue, my logic is flawless,” Snafu said as he dove back into the pantry. 

“Fine, fine,” Eugene replied, but his mind was elsewhere-their first days of settling in had gone fast, too fast. Tomorrow was the dinner with his parents, but no matter how much he prepared, he still didn’t feel ready for it. 

“We haven’t talked clothes yet,” Snafu said as he emerged from the pantry again, this time closing the door to it. 

“...we have to wear them,” Eugene said. “What else could there possibly be to talk about?” 

“Let’s impress ‘em some. I know you hate the blues, and the uniform in all forms, but-” 

Eugene sighed. “I don’t know. A nice pressed shirt and slacks is really all-” 

“That’s what they saw you leave town in. You may still wear those clothes, but you came back in the uniform. But they didn’t get to see that-they don’t see who you are now,” Snafu said, his gaze steady as it caught Eugene’s eyes. “You’re still their son, but you know you’re different now. Everyone is, who made it back. Not just with the nightmares and the flashbacks, but-” 

Snafu paused. “I don’t know how to put it, exactly. Bein’ out there was...” 

“Shit,” Eugene filled in. 

Snafu nodded. “But it gave time to anyone, everyone, to figure things out. Who you are away from family, friends. In situations you never thought you’d be in. Making choices you never thought you’d have to make. Meeting people you end up caring about, loving. And then getting back, just to realize you have to figure out how you want to live.” 

“I don’t wanna put words in your mouth,” Snafu continued. “But-you figured out you loved me. I figured out I loved you. We both figured out we wanted to be together...Jesus, I’m not gonna say this right.” 

Eugene grabbed his hand, and led him out of the kitchen to the sitting room, to one of the ornate couches. “Can I say what I think you’re tryin’ to get at, and you let me know if I’m close?” 

Snafu nodded, still holding his hand and gently rubbing at the back of it with his thumb. 

“I’m still me, but a different me than the one that left. Some of me is the same, but there’s a lot changed. You think if we roll out for dinner in uniform, it might make them see that and face it, and us?” Eugene said. 

Snafu smiled softly, and pulled up Eugene’s hand to press a kiss to it. “You got a way with words, darlin’. That or you’re psychic.” 

“No. Just been thinkin’ about that all myself. We’re just always pretty much on the same page, or damn close. And while I hate the idea of wearing it again, I cannot stress that enough,” Eugene said. 

“I know,” Snafu replied. 

“I think you might be right. Just what we wore on the train back though-no dress blues,” Eugene continued. He hadn’t even unpacked the dress blues-Snafu had his hung up in their wardrobe, but his languished in one of the few boxes left to finish unpacking. 

“Okay,” Snafu said. “I know it isn’t late, but you wanna head in? Get some extra sleep for tomorrow?” 

Eugene nodded. It felt slightly silly-after all it was only seven at night. But it was less the idea of getting extra sleep, and more the idea of having extra time to be cuddled up in bed with Snafu that sounded so good. Having that time in their own little bubble, safe from everything. Sid was the only one who had called, and only to confirm that he’d be on-call for the dinner, and would come as soon as possible if either of them called and asked him to do so. It was glorious-setting up the house together, moving furniture to where they preferred it, just-nesting was the only word he could come up with for it all. 

“C’mon,” Snafu said as he led them upstairs while the cats ran past them to the first floor. They’d fallen in love with the house itself, not to mention the garden. “You kids play nice, and come to bed soon. No scratching up the curtains.” 

“You know even if they could completely understand you, they wouldn’t listen, right?” Eugene asked as they made it to the bedroom. 

“They understand. They just don’t care either way. That’s just cats though, that’s how it works. Those curtains are ugly anyway; we can get something new,” Snafu replied. “Um-not that your mother has terrible taste, but-” 

Eugene laughed. “They are ugly. And I don’t know if we could call it bad taste. Maybe...questionable, when compared to ours.” 

“We won’t talk about it over dinner,” Snafu said as he started to undress. “What the fuck are we gonna talk about? Or can we trust them to do the talking?” 

Eugene shrugged as he unbuttoned his shirt. “I have no idea what they’ll do. I mean, we can tell them about Maryland. About our trip down here-well, some of it.” 

Snafu grinned. “You can handle the censoring of that part of things. What else though? That might not cover a whole dinner, especially tryin’ to choke down the main course.” 

“I mean...they might ask about it. Peleliu, Okinawa-I know they’ll ask about us coming home. I mean, I wrote them letters but I’m sure they’re curious,” Eugene replied. “That could take up a lot of time. Potentially more than dinner even, depending on how they react, how much we tell them.” 

Snafu was down to his underwear as he dropped to the bed. “We can’t really plan for this part of it, can we? Second we think we got it planned, they’ll throw us a curve ball.” 

Eugene contemplated his pajamas, then joined Snafu on the bed in only his underwear. “Yeah. We’ll just have to try and be quick on our feet.” 

Snafu nodded and pulled him close. “No more talking about it. No more thinking about it. Not till the morning. Just relaxin’ and sleepin’ now.” 

Eugene settled into his embrace and tried to follow Snafu’s instructions. It was easier once Snafu had fallen asleep-watching his face relax as he ended up cuddled against Eugene as close as he could get. 

It still took him two hours to fall asleep. 

Morning came all too quickly, and if it hadn’t been for Snafu he didn’t think he’d have resisted the urge to cancel the dinner and hide in bed all day. 

“Got your clothes ready for later. Don’t care if you walk around naked as a jaybird for now, but make sure you’re dressed later,” Snafu was already dressed, in one of Eugene’s shirts and a pair of trousers that hung on his hips. No matter how much he ate, he was still skinny as a rail, and even the most tailored garments seemed to eventually hang off of him. Eugene didn’t mind the excuse to spoil him with new clothes, even if they didn’t have the money for it as often as he’d like. 

“What time are they comin’ over anyway?” Snafu asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Five, or sometime around that. At least I think so. That’s when dinner time always was before I left. God help me if they show up early-” Eugene replied as he forced himself out of the bed, panicking at the thought. “I should get dressed now, just in case. And I’ll start cooking, and-” 

“Sweetheart. You gonna start dinner at nine in the morning? You think bein’ cold is gonna make that ‘delicious’ bullshit taste any better?” Snafu laughed. “Relax. Even if they do show up early, we’ll figure it out.” 

He got dressed anyway, peeking out the window of the guest bedroom-their bedroom now. They’d discussed taking the master bedroom, but ultimately it felt too strange. And any guests they might have would certainly appreciate having the bigger room. 

Downstairs, he picked at the breakfast plate Snafu sat in front of him. 

“You gonna eat those eggs, or just stab ‘em?” Snafu asked, his mouth full. “At least have some coffee. I swear I made it good today.” 

Eugene shook his head. They weren’t even here yet and he felt sick. 

“Okay, lover-boy of mine. Let’s find something to keep you busy,” Snafu said, setting down his fork. 

“I’m fine,” Eugene said, trying to mean it. 

Snafu didn’t say anything, just grabbed his hand and held it tight. 

After a few moments, Eugene found his voice again. “Might try reading.” 

“Sounds good. You go sit down and read. I’ll be with you in a few minutes,” Snafu murmured.

“You don’t gotta rush to eat because of me,” Eugene said as he stood up, ignoring the light-headedness that hit him almost immediately. 

Snafu was watching him, clearly concerned. “Baby, you’re pale.” 

“Aren’t I always?” Eugene asked, just before the light-headedness turned to proper dizziness, and it all went black. 

He came to maybe a moment later, on the cool floor of the dining room. He registered that Snafu must have moved him into the recovery position, as he took in the feeling of Snafu’s hand rubbing his back and the fact that his face was wet. 

“What happened?” 

“You passed out,” Snafu replied. 

“I know that,” Eugene replied. “Why am I wet?” 

“Well, I was tryin’ to wake you back up. Nearest thing was the water pitcher. It was that or the coffee,” Snafu replied. “Don’t you dare rush to get up. Let yourself lay for a minute or two.” 

“I-” Eugene started, then stopped. Why was he fighting this so much? He was safe, Snafu was right there to help him. And the dizziness and anxiety eating his stomach alive were at a minimum on the floor. 

He sighed, and let himself relax and go limp. 

“Better,” Snafu hummed, his hand still making slow and soft circle’s on Eugene’s back. “Just breathe. I’m right here.” 

He wasn’t sure exactly how long he stayed there on the floor, with Snafu alternating between rubbing his back and holding one his hands gently, whispering soft and sweet things to him. 

Finally, Snafu let him up, only to gently grab hold of him until he was leaning backwards into Snafu’s lap and arms. 

“We have to get up eventually,” Eugene murmured. 

“Eventually. Not now,” Snafu replied, his arms warm and comforting as he held onto him just tightly enough to feel safe but still be comfortable. 

“I’ll fall asleep here if you keep this up,” Eugene said. He meant it too-he’d slept, but fitfully, and figured he could fall asleep anywhere right then. 

“Let’s get you to the sitting room then. Let you nap,” Snafu said. Before Eugene could protest, Snafu had scooped him up and was carrying him to the next room. 

“I just got up,” he muttered into Snafu’s shoulder. 

“You just worry about feelin’ better. If you’re still like this by four, then I’m callin’ Sid and tellin’ him to cancel the dinner.” 

“We can’t,” Eugene replied. 

“We can do whatever we want and need to do,” Snafu said. “That includes cancelling.” 

“But I’m just feeling this way because I’m nervous about dinner. At least I think that’s all it is.” 

He couldn’t resist the urge to curl up on the couch as Snafu set him down carefully. There was just enough room for Snafu to sit on the edge of the couch near him that way. 

After a moment, Snafu was up again though, and returned with a thin but soft blanket from the downstairs linen closet. “You just sleep. I shoulda let you stay upstairs, but-” 

“No, I should be getting up, I should be helping you get ready. I shouldn’t be...like this,” Eugene sighed. 

“You can’t help how this makes you feel. Get some rest; I got this,” Snafu said. 

“You’re even going to make the main-” 

Snafu shuddered. “Don’t remind me of that. But yeah, I’ll make that delicious bullshit whatever. I’ll wake you in a few hours. Don’t worry about anything.” 

He settled on the couch, and tried to listen to Snafu. Sleeping was always better than staring into space, anxiety-ridden. He just had to will himself to do it. 

[my-name-stitch]

about me

@anonthenullifier tagged me in a conglomerate of the “about you” things but i’m late (as always but like, you know why i’m late this time) bc i just remembered she did.  so.  under a read more if you do wanna know more about me.  won’t be tagging anyone ‘cause i don’t have anyone to tag, but if you wanna do it, go for it and let me know, please. c:

ONE: Name/Alias - stitch bc I grew up when internet anonymity was Important and You Have To Do It Or Else and i’m not over that conditioning

TWO: Birthday - sep 22

THREE: Zodiac sign - virgo (or virgo/libra cusp to some)

FOUR: Height - 5'5

FIVE: Hobbies - tennis, reading, fantasizing about what i wanna write writing, drawing, surfing the ‘net, sleeping, amateur photography, avoiding things i don’t wanna do like the plague, sleeping, doodling (bc it’s different than drawing, i swear), being a lil shit, baking, going to museums, video games

SIX: Favourite colours - reds, black, purples, greens, pinks... but also like... i like every color a lot?  red is a clear favorite and some hurt my eyes more often than not (neons, whites, yellows - lighter brighter colors) but like... colors, man.  i love ‘em.

SEVEN: Favourite books - brand spankin’ new one - good omens.  older one - pride and prejudice.  still quite fond of the hp books, fuck off.  sherlock holmes. getting into manga: bnha, ancient magus bride, daiya, hq!!

EIGHT: Last song I listened to - an a/c playlist... a bastille song, warmth, is on rn as i type this

NINE: Last film I watched in theatres - oh fuck uhh... probably spiderman far from home??

TEN: Inspiration for muse - music.  straight up my only muse, generally speaking.  if hyperfixation counts, that.  but i don’t suppose it does, really.

ELEVEN: Dream job - pro tennis player.  just.  fuck, man.  that’d be the life.  or an archaeologist?  shit i love dinosaurs lol.  never considered it ever since i was a kid bc my dad said the salary was unstable, and he’s right, but... you know those kids that look like they’re gonna pee themselves when they’re looking at dinosaurs?  i never grew out of that.  startled my friends with that bc, i quote, “we’ve never seen you that expressive before”

TWELVE: Meaning behind your URL - i love lilo and stitch.

Nickname: poke-baller lmaooo.  my friend’s parents call me that and have for like... eight years now?  i mean, i suppose people generally focus on either my name or a nickname they want to give me (bc i respond to anything and don’t care so long as it’s not rude), but personally i think of myself as me and just go with whatever people wanna call me.

Gender: female

Where I’m From: ‘murica

Dream Trip:  you know what.  fuckin’ anywhere, man.  this girl is gonna fuckin travel and no one is gonna stop me.

When I Made This Account: hell if i know.  maybe 2009?  a friend made me and didn’t explain how tumblr worked, so i didn’t use it, forgot about it, and got back on in 2013 when a different friend wanted me to make an account and explained how things worked.  don’t think i used it too regularly until 2014-ish tho.

Why I Made This Account: oops.  look above lol.

Hogwarts House: proud slytherin

Favorite Animal: cats.  any type.  house cats?  big cats?  little big cats?  fat cats?  skinny cats?  hairless cats?  fluffy cats?  cats.

Followers: 611... which includes porn bots, accounts that have followed me through multiple fandoms (i see y’all, don’t think i don’t notice y’all), and dead blogs.

Rules: Bold everything that applies to you and tag ten people you’d like to get to know

I’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses // i wear contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo  // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup  // I don’t often smile (resting bitch face ftw) // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand //

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year my entire life lmao  // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me (and then i turned him down on the counsel of a friend, which was good bc he had anger issues i’d never seen bc he never got angry with me) // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made online friends // I have met up with someone I met online

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I find mystery in the ocean // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favorite season

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies  // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game (give me pokemon or give me death) // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial (technically speaking.  do/will i claim it on forms?  no.) // I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs

[heathenarmyimagines]

Title: A Different Time

Summary: You take the Vikings on an outing.

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight

While the Vikings are all showering you were hand washing the dishes from last night. Simply running them through the dishwasher wouldn’t clean them and you needed something to do to keep your mind off the shit show that was last night.

Three men.

What the hell did your virgin ass know what to do with not one, but three gigantic men. You had never had a hickey in all your existence, you never let things get that far with any of your boyfriends.

Granted you had a tendency to fall for fuck boys who hide behind false patience and sweet words, which is why you never let them escalate. 

After you were done putting the last plate on the rack you dried your hands on a rag and absentmindedly touched your neck..

It felt kinda sore, and you knew it looked God awful.

“Why do men get to sleep around like dogs but women are called bitches if we do. You know what though, we can sleep around too and we can do it better.”

With a wince you remembered saying that bit while you were in your room with Ubbe, Hvitserk and Ivar. You remembered that you were all sitting in your bed passing around that damn bottle and after that there was nothing.

‘I shouldn’t have drank that much, what the hell was I thinking?’ you said to yourself.

‘I do not know what you were thinking but you seemed to enjoy yourself.’ You jumped nearly out of your skin as you turn and face Ivar.

‘Seriously...stop doing that, make some damn sounds when you enter a room.’ you scolded.

‘My apologies.’ he said.

You looked away from him as your cheeks began to burn.

‘What is wrong? Can you not look at me the same now?’ he asked.

‘I can’t look any of you the same, not after I acted so....stupid.’ you sighed.

‘What about it was stupid, you were drunk and emotional and we were all there. No one found your actions stupid.’ he assured.

‘Thank you for saying that, but I still need an a minute to forget that I gave you and your brothers hickeys, and that you have all seen me pretty much completely naked...and that I am also covered in hickeys. Which apparently you did most of.’ you said awkwardly.

‘Hvitserk went the lowest, I stayed above the breast.’ Ivar defended.

You chuckled as you went to the fridge and got out some eggs and bacon.

While you were tiptoeing to reach the pancake mix Ivar wheeled over to the fridge and opened it.

‘What are you doing?’ you asked.

‘I want to see what is inside of it, what kind of food you are putting in us.’

‘Fine, but can you hand me the clear container with the red sticker, its the milk.’ you said as you put the bacon on the sheet and put it in the oven.

Ivar scanned the fridge for what you described until he found the milk and placed it in his lap before wheeling over to you.

‘Thank you, don’t forget to close the fridge door, its wasteful.’ you said as you began to measure out the pancake mix.

Ivar followed the direction as Ubbe, Hvitserk and Bjorn all entered the kitchen.

'How are y'all dealing with your hangovers, feeling better after the showers?’ you asked.

'Much better.’ Ubbe said.

'Speak for yourself, I threw up.’ Bjorn sighed, rubbing his temples.

'In the shower?’ you panicked.

'No I reached the toilet.’

You sighed in relief, thankful that you wouldn’t have to clean that mess.

'All of you sit down, I’m making pancakes for breakfast.’ you said.

‘Pan...cakes?’ Ubbe asked.

‘What are cakes?’ Hvitserk asked eagerly.

‘You guys didn’t have cake? Well...cake is like a really sweet bread, it can be all kinds of flavors. Pancakes are cakes made in a pan and you have ‘em for breakfast.’ you explained.

‘Pancakes...sounds delicious.’ Hvitserk said.

‘Not as good as (Y/N) sounded last night.’ Ubbe smiled at you.

‘Alright none of that, last night did not even happen. ‘ you said quickly.

‘The marks on your neck say otherwise.’ Bjorn said.

‘Bruises, you get bruises from stupid decisions all the time.’ you dismissed. 

‘So we were all stupid decisions?’ Ivar asked in offense.

‘No-I mean that- that last night I was too drunk and lost myself. If I had been sober I would have never been...like that with all of you.’ you tried to say as you cooked.

‘So you would never be interested in any of us?’ Ubbe asked.

‘No- I mean- you are all very handsome men, way better looking than the guys I’m used to to be honest, but still I just met you guys and you are all like a few centuries too old for me. And apparently two of you are married, in case you forgot Ubbe and Bjorn.’ you said as you finished the pancakes and moved on to the eggs.

‘I take it you Christians are a bit more strict about marriage meaning being between only a man and wife.’ Hvitserk said.

‘Well yeah, that’s what we claim, but nowadays everyone is sleeping around, marrying before they are ready and getting divorced anyway. The point is I like to think myself worthy of being the only woman in a guy’s life and not one of many.’ you said.

‘Agreed, there are many women that think that way.’ Lagertha said as she entered the kitchen.

‘I know right, have a seat, the food is ready.’ you said while you started making plates.

You sat a plate in front of all of them, giving Hvitserk two more pancakes than the others.

‘So I was thinking you all shouldn’t be held here for your whole stay in this time, how about I take you all out.’ you said as you took your own seat.

‘What?’ Bjorn asked.

‘Nothing too wild or anything just a few local spots. A shop, a park, maybe a restaurant for lunch and then we’ll see where the day takes us from there.’ you suggest.

Bjorn looked around the table.

‘What do you all say, ready to see what has become of the world?’ he asked.

‘I want to see the world, at anytime.’ Hvitserk said as he picked up the pancake with his hands.

‘Oh um Hvitserk, we use a fork and knife.’ you corrected, showing him and the rest how to use the silverware you sat out for them.

‘And if you want you can try adding syrup to make it sweeter.’ you said.

Like always everyone waited for Hvitserk to take the first bite, and as per usual he took his time chewing, deciding if he likes the taste.

‘It is the sweetest bread I’ve had.’ he hummed as he cut himself another piece.

Taking that as their green light everyone else dug into their own plates, all making noises of agreement that the food was really tasteful.

As they all finished you gathered the dishes.

‘Go on and put on your shoes, I will be ready in one moment.’ you said as you started the dishwasher.

‘An outing at last.’ Ubbe smiled as he pushed Ivar’s chair. 

You really hadn’t been in the mood to take anyone anywhere earlier, but now you had the energy and you really did believe the Vikings needed an outing. 

Keeping them here was a recipe for cabin fever.

You decided to go along with everyone and just go out in sweats with some slides.

When you went back into the living room the Vikings were all literally waiting by the door.

‘Alright I guess I should hurry my ass up then.’ you mumbled as you opened the door and lead everyone to the van.

Ubbe placed Ivar in the passenger seat and you put the chair in the trunk.

Alright first stop is this little mom and pop shop, its really for older people who want to decorate their homes or buy local made foods.’ you said as you started driving.

‘Next to that there is a nice little clothing store, you all can look around for clothes you like.’ you smiled.

‘What about your worries...we still do not exist in your world.’ Lagertha said.

‘Just don’t do anything to bring too much attention to us, so no yelling, fighting, stealing, plundering or raping or any of that other shit you are all famous for.’ you warned.

Despite having a few eye rolls they all agreed.

‘Awesome, and also try not to glare at everyone, you guys look like you are waiting to start a fight, especially you Ivar. Try relaxing the muscles in your face.’ you added.

Ivar brought his brows lower in confusion.

‘That is my face. These...are all of our usual faces.’ Ivar said pointing to the backseat.

You stop at a red light and look back and see that all eyes were on you, and yup they all like they just left a mob movie.

‘Maybe just don’t look at anyone.’ you sighed.

This time the drive wasn’t full of so many questions, but they all still seemed to be amazed by world around them. You drove on main roads so they saw a lot more cars passing by and buildings.

At last you reached Historic Downtown, all the shops here had been open and family ran for the last thirty years. And almost everyone who shopped around  there are was in their sixties, meaning it wasn’t a very populated.

Just the right place.

You got out the car and got Ivar’s chair while Ubbe got Ivar, after Ivar was in his wheelchair everyone got out of the car.

Immediately they all started going their own ways, eager to explore everything.around them.

‘What is this thing?’ Bjorn asked.

‘That’s a machine horse, kids put in a coin and it rocks around so they can pretend to be riding a horse.’ you said.

'Now will all of you get back here, or do you not want to go inside.’ you called out.

Everyone came back to you and you had to make Ubbe put down a beer bottle he had found. You guessed they didn’t have glass yet.

You walked in and the old lady you knew as Ms. Judy smiled and greeted.

‘Oh hello, haven’t seen you in ages child.’ she smiled.

‘I know I’ve been working.’ you smiled politely.

‘Who are your new friends?’ she asked.

‘Oh uh these guys are...foreigners.’ you lied.

‘Really?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, uh Scandinavian. Their first trip to the States I’m showing them around town.’ you said.

‘Well welcome to America what is your favorite thing about it so far?’ Ms. Judy smiled at them.

‘The sex toys.’ Lagertha answered.

 ‘What?’ the old woman gasped.

‘She’s a joker! Anyway let us look around a second.’ you panicked pulling Lagertha away.

Once you were in a aisle far away from the checkout you turned to face everyone.

‘You can not just openly talk about sex or sex toys with total strangers, especially sweet old ladies!’ you hissed.

‘Why?’ Ubbe asked.

‘You just don’t, now just...look around don’t talk to anyone at all. If you see anything you like bring it to me and I will tell you if you can have it. I will be over there in the malt shop area.

‘What is a malt?’ Hivitserk asked.

‘I’ll tell you later, now go and explore.

You hadn’t even sat down before Ivar held out a snow globe with a circle of dancing in a circle.

‘Its a snow globe, you can get it.’ you decide.

Ivar smiled sitting the globe down and went off again, before he was out of sight Ubbe arrived with a giant gummy bear shaped container full of gummy bears.

‘Its candy, you eat it and you can have it but you have to share with everyone.’ you said.

‘What if I do not wish to share?’

‘Then you can’t have it.’ you said sternly.

The vicious viking rolled his eyes and set the container next to you before going back on his hunt for new items.

This goes on for about thirty minutes and you had a rather decent collection of nick-knacks that required you to get a basket.

‘Alright that’s enough of that, come on let’s get a few drinks.’ you said motioning to the malt shop.

‘More alcohol?’ Hvitserk asked.

‘God no, I was thinking soda or milkshakes. These days we have drinks that taste good and don’t get you drunk.’ you explained as the followed you to the desk.

‘Hello, welcome to Retro, what can I get you.’ the young girl smiled.

‘I need six milkshakes to go, uh two strawberry, two chocolate and two vanilla.’ you decided.

She put in your order and started making the drinks, thankfully she was unaware of how hard the vikings were all watching her move around the little kitchen.

You were so busy watching them watch her you nearly cried out when you saw that Ivar had wheeled himself behind the counter and was messing with stuff behind the poor girl’s back.

‘Oh my God.’ you mumbled as you bent down, the counter keeping the woman from seeing as you too snuck behind it to grab Ivar’s chair and quietly pull him out of the restricted area.

You make it back to the right side of the counter just in time for the girl to turn and start putting the drinks in front of you.

‘There you go, enjoy and have a lovely day.’ she said politely, unaware that you had just mission impossibled this fine establishment.

You grabbed a strawberry milkshake and told the others to grab whichever one looked good to them.

Once they all had a cup they followed the routine and waited for Hvitserk to take the first sip.

‘It’s cold.’ he said.

‘Its supposed to be cold, its ice cream milk and flavoring, its good.’ you assured taking a sip from the straw.

Hvitserk watched how you and followed your lead.

'Ah!’ he gasped looking at the cup.

'Is it vile Brother?’ Ivar asked in worry.

Hvitserk shook his head violently.

'Delicious! My brothers it is better than any ale I’ve ever had.’ he said before returning to the drink again.

Everyone seemed shocked by how enthusiastic he was but encouraged.

They all went to their straws and collectively hummed around them.

Apparently the milkshakes were too good to stop drinking even for a second to say it was good.

You were happy they enjoyed it that is until you remembered something very important.

'Wait-’

Hvitserk eyes went wide before closed tight.

'Too late.’ you winced.

'Argh!’ Ubbe grunted covering his eyes.

'Odin’s sake!’ Lagertha whined as she set the drink down.

'What in the hell is this?!’ Ivar growled at the cup in his hands.

'That is what we call a brain freeze.’ you sighed.

'Milkshakes are evil.’ Hvitserk pouts.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #199

“mama, just killed a man; put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.”

Who is the nicest person you’ve ever met? I dunno, I've truly met so many. How about the meanest? Literally my former best friend, all things considered. I too often ignored her overwhelming ratio of bad versus positive traits. She was an absolute witch when entirely unnecessary to most she met, and even to those she did like, she could be extremely rude and just. Yeah, mean. Do you prefer sugar cookies or peanut butter cookies? Hmmm, probably sugar. Chocolate chip cookies or Oreos? Chocolate chip. What is on your mouse pad? I don't have one. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. Why did they yell at you? I don't recall, I just know it was her. What was the last thing you spoke to your mom about? I can't remember. It was as she was leaving for work and nothing major. Where was the last place you took a train to? Never been on a train. What is your favorite sleeping position? What about sitting? Sitting, idk. But I sleep like, kinda on my stomach but twist to my side with my arms positioned up like a fetus' or something. My legs are just kinda just splayed out or bent a bit beside each other. When is the last time you felt appreciated for something you did? Had to be something with Sara when she needed some comfort. Do you ever call friends just to have a casual conversation with them? I don't willingly call anyone. I've texted/messaged friends at random though. Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point? Not really. Do you enjoy playing board games? No. Are there any movies you are wanting to see? The new How To Train Your Dragon, ahhhh! Probably gonna see it with Sara when she comes. Who was the last contact you stored into your cell phone, if you have one? Probably VR. What was the last song you sang along to? Uhhh something by Powerwolf in the shower. Are you a fan of the band Taking Back Sunday? Never heard 'em. Nachos or tacos? I hate tacos, but nachos are literally the best. Do you think Kurt Cobain was assassinated? This is a conspiracy I'm not really educated on. *shrugs* I barely ever rule shit out now after going down the conspiracy theories rabbit hole. Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you? Not at all. Does it annoy you when people wish away their lives? I'm guessing you mean just wish for things instead of taking action towards achieving them? Yes, it does. Wishing isn't gonna do a damn thing for you. Have you ever lived with somebody with truly repulsive habits? No. Do you tend to say things because they’re appropriate not because you mean them? No. I've probably done it, but not enough to recall an occasion. What was the last thing to perplex you? Some conspiracy theory in Shane Dawson's new series I thought was pretty far-fetched. I've already forgotten it. What was the last thing to fascinate you? Another theory in the same series mentioned above lol. It was about the fires in California. Do you ever have really good dreams, and then the whole next day, you’re in a really good mood because of that really good dream? No. What’s the last thing you bought at the mall? A book. What are you listening to? "Fire & Forgive" by Powerwolf. Have you ever wanted to go to the moon? Not really. Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book? No. What are you looking forward to the most? Settling down comfortably with Sara with nice jobs, pets we love, a house we feel is perfect for us, and just. Yeah, all of that. ;v; What’s the last CD you bought? I haven't bought one since Hollywood Undead's "Swan Songs." Is that your favorite cd by that artist? I'm not too familiar with their albums, but I think? What food do you eat the most of? Idk, really. Meats? Some form of bread? What food do you not eat enough of? Vegetables. If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose? Probably Suzy Hanson. I'm gay as all fuck hell for that sweetheart. What’s something you’re proud of yourself for? DEDICATING TO THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY. Think of your favorite band… if you got to talk to ONE person from that band, who would it be, and why them? Ozzy because he is my granddad, savior, and most importantly, spirit animal. Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain? Yeah; it was a watercolor feather with "ohana" written on it. She didn't cry, nor was it excruciating. What do you like on hot dogs? Ketchup and mustard. Favorite sport team? I'm biased towards the Carolina Hurricanes because of Dad. Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? No. Have you ever lived with someone who was a total slob? Yup. Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? N/A Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? Yeah, or close to it. Would you ever consider being a foster parent? No. What’s your opinion on lottery tickets? Waste of money, or no? A waste and a risk for addiction. What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? Well, this is hard. I cry at pretty much anything moving. Have you ever swam in a saltwater pool? No. Can you run in heels? I highly doubt that. My balance is bad as it is. Do you think anyone has given up on you? I'm sure Colleen has. When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? Today, but literally most days on FB anyway with my stepmother and abortion. Do you pay your own cellphone bill, or do your parents pay it for you? Dad pays it. Have you seen every Harry Potter movie in theaters? No. Have you ever been pregnant? No. Would you ever drive a hearse for your car? Fuck yeah I would if I could decorate it some. What snacks do you usually take to the beach with you? I haven't gone to the beach consistently enough to known. Do you like to eat tomato soup along with your grilled cheese? No. Have you ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer? No. Do you have thick or thin hair? Thick as all fuck. If you have thick hair, do you get it thinned when you get it cut? I get it like, tapered so the ends aren't so abrupt. If you have thin hair, do you wish it were thick? N/A What kind of shoes do you normally purchase? Converse or Vans. Did you like Pokemon or Digimon when you were younger? Pokemon was and still is everything. Do you sleep with your hair up or down? It's too short to go up, but I didn't when it was long. When you go swimming, do you put your hair up or down? ^ Do you do any special workouts to stay in shape? I've started doing some yoga exercises and push-ups everyday to try to get IN shape. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say they're fine. Is there a day you’d just like to forget? Which one? The day I ODed. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? I haven't worn a dress since my sister's wedding three years ago... and I looked awful. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? No. What is the one stereotype people label you as most? Don't really hear those nowadays. Who makes you the most angry in your life right now? My last fucking school. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Literally once, and I hated it. It was incredibly uninteresting. Do you like flowers? What’s your favorite kind? YEAH. I love orchids and dahlias. How many grades have you failed in your life? None. Do you own a car? Who provides your insurance if so? No. Are you someone who can easily keep a secret? Yup. When was the last time you painted something? December, a painting for Sara. Who was the last female you hung out with? My mom. When is the next time you’re going on vacation? Hell if I know. Are you currently renting out your own apartment? No. Have you taken anyone’s virginity? No. Have you ever had anyone drop off animals at your house and what kind? No. Have you ever made your boy/girlfriend choose between you and someone else? No. Do you remember when some of the Walmarts had a McDonald’s in them? Our neighboring town still has one. When was the last time you were somewhere that offered free Wi-Fi? I dunno. What color are your curtains and are you satisfied with this color? Maroon, and yes. When was the last time you were stung by a bee and what kind was it? Last year by a bumblebee. Do you know anyone personally who had their house burn down before? Yes. What’s your favorite kind of potato chip and are they cheap to buy? Hm. Maybe classic... or cool ranch. Who was the last male you hung out with? My dad. Are you self-conscious? You have no idea. Do you tend to get sick more often in the wintertime? If not, is there a certain season that you get sick more often in besides winter? No. I rarely ever get sick. Do you find yourself being more of a germaphobe when you’re in public? Uh, duh. What is the worst thing you’ve seen in a public restroom? Blood under the seat. And I mean quite a bit. I usually check under them now after that event with Colleen. Nerdy question time. If you were in a more medieval time period, would you prefer to excel in might, magic, or finesse? MAGIC. Do you have an friends from foreign countries? Are they online friends or foreign exchange students? Or perhaps you have some from both? Online friends. Have you ever studied how your last name originated? Yeah. What is one recipe that you would like to learn how to make? Hell, a lot. I need to know how to cook period. How many hours can you go after a meal before you are hungry again? Does the time vary off how big of a meal it was? Depends on what I ate. Can be like... 4-5 hours or I can fast and go beyond 16. Really varies. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? HUNNY don't DO THIS. Oh Lord. I really don't think I can pick. I know back then it was "The Call," though. Favorite *N Sync song? Probably "Bye Bye Bye." Which of those two bands did you like best? Backstreet Boys. *heart eyes drool emoji* Do you learn choreography easily? I was okay back in dance, but I doubt it now. My memory and focus have declined. What is the theme of this year’s wall calendar? Idk, Mom hasn't changed it yet. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? I don't believe that concept. Do you still have your favorite toy from when you were kid? Apparently no; asked Mom recently outta curiosity, and I was VERY surprised. I don't know how I ever could've gotten rid of him. Which do you do more: read books, spend time online, or watch television? Guess. What do you do the most when you’re online? Listen to/watch YouTube. Is your 2019 off to a good start? Eh, I suppose. What color is your winter coat? I don't have one. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Reese's. Do you think you’re too old to go trick-or-treating? Well, according to society. Do you have a bobblehead? If yes, what does your bobblehead look like? No. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. What’s the strangest thing you’ve wrapped a present in? Nothing odd? Can you read in the car? I don't know if I've ever done that? Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Would you ever take a solo road trip? Nah. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Shit dude, idk. There's so much. Evolution, maybe. When did you last go to the library? What book(s) did you check out? Couldn't tell ya. Have you ever gotten in trouble for running up your phone bill? Nope. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't plan to any time soon. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? Very fast. Do you believe in the concept of global warming? It's 2019. "Concept" my ass. Have you ever worked in retail? Never again. Are you even a little bit racist? No. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? Swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? We can't predict that. A meteor could fuck us tonight, or the supervolcano in Yellowstone could erupt the next time I blink. May not be for thousands of years. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Don’t you love American Horror Story: Asylum? I didn't watch it. When’s the last time you blew some bubbles? No clue. Are you self conscious about your nails? Not too much. Which pair of pants that you own are your favorites? Why do you like them? Pretty much all I have are yoga pants and leggings that all look the same... Now if I can include pj pants, the soft, black, white, and lilac Jack Skellington ones I have. They're comfy. Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? No. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? Divorced. And I mean, any person would wish their parents were together ideally, but just with how mine always fought and just constantly seemed angry at each other, I'm glad they are. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? I love that alien. His personality is so bubbly, he cracks me the hell up, and he's gone through so much growth. Are any of your favorite shows too dirty for television? Which ones? No. Are there any colorful quilts in your room? Which ones are colorful? No. Do you own a guitar? Specify. Which brand of guitar do you own? I do, but I don't recall the brand; I don't play it anymore. I just know it's black and white. Are you a monogamous person? Or do you hate commitment? Monogamous. Who was the last person who was rude to you? Idk, probably Mom. Have you ever met someone in person that you first met online? Yeah. Have you ever taken a test to see if you are colorblind? No. Who do you know who is dyslexic? Idk. Describe your dream wedding in five words. Small, memorable, gothic, emotional, and sincere are a few words I can think of. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, I believe. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? Mmmmm I dunno. OH ACTUALLY, for quite a while I was embarrassed of liking Pokemon for yeeeaaars because at that time it was seen as "weird," but now like. Give me everything Pokemon. Have you ever held a newborn baby? No. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? Yes. I sometimes forget we're at that age where it's kinda normal. What’s the last supernatural thing that happened to you? Idk. If you’re a Christian, how long have you known the Lord? N/A Do you live in an apartment, condo, dorm, or house? A house. Do you have a sibling with the same first initial as you? Well, it's his nickname. Do you ever eat kids’ food (as in, meals made for kids)? Hell yeah, give me that fuckin nachos Lunchable. Do you remember pre-school? I have vague memories. How old were you when you made your first friend? Two. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? The Incredibles 2, probably. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? It's game over if you recognize my Markiplier tattoo lmao. Do you refer to yourself by any sort of fan nickname (Belieber, Little Monster, etc.)? I will always be a GMM mythical beast, fucking fight me. What sort of situations make you feel most self-conscious or inadequate? Are there any people or places that just make you want to crawl into a hole? If you can’t think of anything specific, can you remember the last time (or any time) you felt this way? When I'm in a position where it's my responsibility to be knowledgeable, hence why I've struggled so immensely with work. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use Ozzkat like, everywhere, and it's my fave. Are there any cities near you that you’re afraid to go to because of the crime rate or its other bad reputations? Yes. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? Ha, yeah. Can you remember the last thing you thought and subsequently thought, “wow, I really shouldn’t be thinking that”? PTSD and OCD alike give me intrusive thoughts occasionally, so. How long does it take you in the morning to fix your hair? It takes just a few seconds to wet my hand(s) and go over the back where it usually sticks up like crazy. My hair is otherwise short enough where I have to do like... nothing. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? No. Do you prefer kisses on the nose, cheek or forehead? Cheek. Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore? No. Do you prefer a lot of ice in your drinks or just a little bit of ice? None. I don't like it to water down my drink, and even with water, I worry about one/some small ones going down my throat. Well, in margaritas it's obviously fine, just because it's so fine. Which condiment (ketchup, mustard, etc.) do you use the most of? Ketchup or honey mustard. Would you ever flirt with somebody in front of your parents? With my s/o, sure, just not if it's even mildly sexual. Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? Yeah. Have you ever spent over $100.00 on an article of clothing? What was it? FUCK no. Do you think your parents know things about you that you don’t want them to? Mom might. I doubt Dad does. How many of your friends play World of Warcraft? I think Sam still does, maybe Alex, and then I have a number of acquaintances exclusive to the game. Actually Girt might too... maybe. I just know he keeps up with the lore. Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? CUTE. Would you rather receive roses or sunflowers? I'd appreciate either, but I prefer roses as flowers. Is your dad bald? No. Surprised honestly; he's in his mid-50s, and while it's gray, there's no less of it than there's always been. Who is the most boring or dullest person that you know of? Uhhhhhhhh I dunno. How long do you have until your birthday? Three days y e e t Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Do you remember the name of the first bar you ever went to? Never been to one. Were you of age? N/A When was the last time you wanted to do something, but couldn’t? With how Sara's been such a flirt lately, I deadass wanna pin her to a wall and go ham. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't for the sake of avoiding a headache and getting dizzy. Anything you might be giving up on soon? In the back of my mind, every once in a while lately, my hope's dimmed for photography, but I just refuse to give up. Have you ever made any kind of video? Yeah. Have you ever taken someone back after they’ve cheated? Hell no. How many living grandparents do you still have? One. Is there a garage or carport attached to your house? No. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No.