#so if anyone decided to read through all the tags lemme know what you think :)
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finally got a working tablet again!!! :D
anyways, back from my several-month-long nap (which will not be addressed further) with a lil fog canyon warmup. now with more scribbles! perhaps too many. entirely too many, in fact. anyways, hopefully the quality does not get obliterated (it will) :')
#hollow knight#art#artists on tumblr#my art#original art#the knight#digital art#fog canyon#been having absolutely paralyzing art block for the past few months so it's nice to have actually finished something :)#not entirely sure about this style yet#but i did have a ton of fun with it#might refine it a lil bit more so it looks less thrown-together :D#so if anyone decided to read through all the tags lemme know what you think :)
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i keep scrolling through the arcane tag and at least 40% of it is about caitlyn kiramman's warmongering dictator arc. apologies to my followers for being so obsessed with her but i have to add more fuel to the fire that is caitlyn character analyses. please hear me because only one of my caitlyn posts gets attention i want it to be this one.
i personally see caitlyn's character in season 2 as:
a painfully realistic portrayal of how quickly the privileged can go off their rockers at the lower class when they do literally anything wrong. "It's so easy to hate them."
a woman in mourning with no outlet for her grief and anger, scraping at the walls for any semblance of revenge she can get her hands on.
a puppet of the leaders that will use her for their own gain, which will ultimately only make the corruption and prejudice in the system worse and worse. (ambessa.... when i catch you ambessa...)
all of these things can coexist. and they do. arcane is so fucking good at making complex, nuanced, morally-grey characters, and caitlyn is no different.
(putting the rest under the cut bc this got LONG... sorry💀)
something about when you spend your life as a part of the upper class, equality feels like oppression. something about the upper class lashes out when the lower class does nothing but defend themselves, because both feel threatened by the other, but only the lower class is justified in that. something about CAITLYN IS A GASLIGHT-GATEKEEP-GIRLBOSS AND I DO NOT CONDONE HER ACTIONS!!! i stand with my cancelled queen in the sense that i just want to know if she pulls out a ukulele or reciepts!
the worst part about being a caitlyn fan is that she's gonna get worse before she gets better. that's a plain and simple fact. she is going to hurt people, she is going to kill people, she is going to fuck things up; whether it be directly or indirectly, by her own hand or through the puppeteering of ambessa. probably both.
she is going to do horrible things, whether we like it or not. she already has, look at the ventilation systems and how she exploited the grey. she'll only truly be able to realize she's wrong if she goes down to zaun and sees the damage she's done for herself, thinks long and hard about what she's fighting for. she's lost her way and she's gonna have to crawl through the trenches to find it again.
she's using and abusing her power because of things she shouldn't be using as excuses. jinx killed her mother; the attacks at the memorial service; except those don't justify her actions. explains them, maybe. but she's turning into the exact kind of person you'd expect someone of her status to become. someone with power to her name, using it against those below her because she thinks it's justified, with no one bold enough to stop her.
she's going down a dark path and i am HERE to see how she fixes her mistakes in the end... if she even does. i'm excited to see what they do with her. will vi forgive her? will anyone?
that's for the writers to decide. i have faith that they'll execute it well no matter which way it goes. flawed, yes, as all things are, but they will get this right. if they don't i'm gonna be on a watchlist by the end of the month.
oh, caitlyn kiramman, gaslighting-gatekeeping-girlbossing in act 2. what a piece of work. and i'm just a down-bad lesbian that likes psychoanalyzing fictional lesbians. like... have you seen that woman???? she's too good to not put under a microscope. it's like the writers were baiting me specifically.
if anyone has any theories btw, caitlyn related or not, lemme hear them because i will listen. i will read every essay about this show i come across if it costs me my life 🫡
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season two#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane analysis#arcane theories#arcane rant#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#waffles word wall#waffles analyzes things#lesbian#sapphic
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18 Asks! Thank you!! :}} 🎪
@pink088
Guuuuurl does it look like I missed the boops? XDD
(I DID miss the super boops and revenge boops tho. I was trashed on the couch and stuck on mobile all day so I wasn't able to send any back to anyone💔💔)
Uhhhmm... oh jeez lemme try to remember-- I'm assuming you mean the order I got everyone in the game..?? Cuz other than the goofy little comics I've been drawing there isn't much of a story beyond that-
Uhhh so I started with Midori(Sprigatito) obviously, thennn... I think I caught Grim(Gastly).. then I caught Gloria(Ralts). Thenn..... arrhrhhgh I thiiiink I went looking for eevees, but I found Anastasia(Shiny Kricketot) in the process and kept her. Then I picked one of the eevees I caught at random and kept him. Then lastly I found a Mareep(Bonnie) by surprise and kept her.
My memory is very poor but I thiiink that's mostly accurate <XDD If I misunderstood your question don't be afraid to send another ask! 😅
@pbjfox37147878
Sorry, I don't take requests.. But hey! You already got a solid concept going and some artistic talent, you can always make it yourself for free! :0
Not really.. I've had a surprising number of uncomfortable experiences with the fandom recently so I've decided to take a step back from Octonauts for a while..
@psype
:DD Thank you! I'm glad you like them! :}}
And yeah that's how I pictured her XDD its becuase I use her the most out of all my Pokémon-
Now she's not bossy and doesn't have a leader or "I'm better that you guys" complex, none of that! She's just very intelligent and usually very level headed and calm. I can imagine that she's gotten the team safely through a lot of complicated situations and her plans/advice have rarely led the group astray.
Plus since I use her so often, I like to think that she's one of the most powerful Pokémon on the team. If not the most powerful. So whenever the group was met with a great danger, Gloria was probably the one to rescue them <XD
So the whole group kind'a gravitates behind her and lets/wants her to take the lead most of the time. Especially when things get complicated or dangerous!
@nerdyskullcap (User in ask)
I took a peek at their blog, but I couldn't find any original art of the Conductor after quite a while of scrolling through that tag.. I only found reblogs of other peoples Conductor comics.. <:(
XD That description of Gloria is very fitting! I use her the most out of all my Pokémon and she rarely loses! XDD
This was a cool read, and hey! Some of my Pokémon have some of those attacks! :000 Gloria has draining kiss and Bonnie has discharge! :D
@cat7890
I'd like to think they've never fought before.. maybe some little bickering on a bad day, but never anything serious.
They have good communication and just generally get along really well and like a lot of the same things. So there's rarely conflict between them! :0
Thank you! I'm happy to hear that you like my artwork! :}}
As for your question.. I'm afraid I don't understand/cant explain it--
Lets say I wanna draw Mario. I imagine what the drawing might end up looking like in my head, what pose I'll draw him in and what colors I'll use.. And then I just.. draw it. It might not look exactly like what I pictured but its probably close enough.
If that doesn't answer your question, I'm afraid I either don't understand your question or this is just an art thing that I don't know how to explain. <:( Sorry, feel free to send another ask with more specifics if you have them!
@sleep-deprived-fr3ak
If Bill ever became a lawyer? All hope is lost XDD
@raven-bearden-the-interviewer42
I haven't really thought about the details of the crews travels and adventures.. but I'm sure that when Louis got cursed and became a crab monster? That was probably pretty memorable XD
Probably this one honestly <XD I cant think of anything more cursed off the top of my head-
@fawncr33k
I suppose that would be fine, but I wouldn't prefer it. As I've said many times,, just comments guys! Asks, reblogs, tags, how ever you type them. I just want comments.👍
@neo-metalscottic
No problem! Getting asks are usually a pick me up :}}
As for the Dry Bones thing, that's what I meant by "not sure how it fits into the AU yet" 😅 Who'd they fight? Why did they fight? When did this happen? No idea. Its all just a neat concept with no structure yet :// And beyond the awkward living situation with the Dry Bones today, I haven't really thought about how the Koopa culture has been changed by the war. That's just way too much thinking and I'm way too sick to bother trying to figure it out atm- 💀💔 But maybe someday I'll think it through!
Now Luigi, I had this idea that he had a bizarre encounter with a 1-UP and was later bitten by a Goomba. Over the span of say... 5 days or so..? Luigi slowly got weaker and weaker until eventually he became bedridden and actually died- He came back to life moments after but it still completely shook Mario and Luigi's worlds for a sec there-
I had intended to draw a comic about this, and I made a sketch about it in the past.. but around the time I thought of this idea my Mario phase was kind'a passing over so I didn't feel like making it- <XDD
As for a potential sequel, I would like to see Wario, Waluigi and Toadsworth. Not sure why Toadsworth wasn't in the first movie- he absolutely should have been. That deep voiced purple..? council..? toad guy?? Totally should have been Toadsworth :/
And my request for the Wario bros is that they are taken seriously. 😅🤣
@cherrycreamfairy
I'm doing okay so far today, thank you! :}
@littlelightfish
I haven't really figured out the details about how Tuna and Louis lost their limbs- 😅
But I'm considering that Louis lost his arm (I assume you meant his arm-) in some kind of work related accident a long time ago. It must have been a fishing accident somehow..
As for Tuna, either some kind of natural disaster/accident or.. someone "removed" them... O-O
I do not :/ I'm not even sure what homestuck is.. I thiiink its a webcomic-
@nemo-draco
Oooo! :00 It looks cool! :DD
And thank you, I'm hoping I get over this soon too 😅
#my response#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run ocs#my ocs#super mario bros#mario movie#pokemon scarlet and violet
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Saw this and decided to do it myself... Obviously no one tagged me. As I carry on procrastinating the final chapter of HYGTG, lemme do this 😂 Also gonna change from AO3 to Tumblr 😊.
1. How many works do you have on Tumblr?
I've got 21 works, majority of them are Enhypen smaus and then there's the few one shots/Imagines. And my longest fanfic which is Invisible a Han Seojun fanfic.
2. What's your total Tumblr word count?
So this is just counting Invisible and the one shots Ive written, 41k... Majority of that is Invisible
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Kpop, specifically the group Enhypen. I add Harry Potter into that.
4. Top five fics by Notes?
Invisible at the top with the masterlist having 649 notes... Ngl seeing this makes me want to rewrite Invisible...
Unexpected Partners has 468 notes. Which makes sense, my Jungwon fics tend to be quite popular.
Peace has 365 notes. This was my first Enha & Harry Potter fic. I do love this one.
You Belong With Me has 337 notes. Another Harry Potter AU with a Jungwon redemption arc...
The Second Choice has 307 notes. Another Jay smau but this one is a Office Au with a toxic bestie.
Honestly apart from Invisible and Unexpected Partners being top 1 and 2, I wasn't expecting any of the other ones on this list.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yep, I wish I got more comments but I always reply to the comments I do get.
Shout out to @shinkenprincess-oh for always commenting <3
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I am very much against angsty endings. Happy endings all the way.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
All my fics have happy endings so I don't even know which one has the happiest ending...
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Havent gotten any yet and I dont want to get hate either please.
9. Do you write smut?
Nope and I never will.
10. Craziest crossover?
I guess constantly mixing Harry Potter with kpop is as crazy as my crossovers get.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Thankfully no but I'd like for it to not happen.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope but I am open to it if anyone interested.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope, that would be interesting to do though.
14. All time favorite ship?
Okay so thats a hard one... I'm gonna go with my top 4.
Harmione {Harry Potter and Hermione Granger}. I am a diehard Harry and Hermione shipper. I just love them so much.
Olicity {Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak}. I was shipping them from the moment Felicity was introduced on the show.
Damianette {Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Damian Wayne}. All my knowledge of DC has come from reading Maribat fics and I do not regret that in the slightest.
Rogan {Rory Gilmore and Logan Huntzberger}. They will forever be my ultimate ship. In my headcanon they ended up together happily ever after.
15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Its more like whats an idea that I actually want to write... Its a hard one cause I have so many ideas running about in my head that very few of them actually make it to being published...
16. What are your writing strengths?
I guess coming up with backstories for my characters? Making people care even though you are only seeing the story through texts and tweets? Character development and growth?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Haha... Everything?
18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I think its quite interesting but I would like a translation somewhere so that I at least know whats been said. Unless its important to the plot then its fine.
19. First fandom you wrote in?
Technically it was Pixelberry Choices Mobile Games stories(? dunno what else to call them) specifically I wrote for High School Story and High School Story Class Act. I have since deleted those fics from my tumblr and Wattpad, they are still on AO3 but I've orphaned them.
Invisible my True Beauty fic is the one that I count as the first fandom I wrote in.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
I legitimately cant pick one, so shameless plug for whoever comes across this to check out my Enhypen Masterlist and True Beauty Masterlist.
Whoever wants to do this, go and have fun cause I have no idea who to tag...
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Hey! I saw your tags on my Poseidon post that it confirmed some things for you (@magnoliessence is my side blog hence anon) - I would love to hear more about that and your thoughts on/experience with Poseidon if you are open to discussing!💙🌊✨
Hey there, welcome! And thank you so much for your post, I would love to give thoughts! Boy would I love to never shut up about this entity lmfAO Though disclaimer, I want you and anyone else who reads this to know I'm not 100% sure I know Actual Poseidon so I am not claiming with certainty I work with him. Andddd this is going to be long for that reason - those reasons. I love talking about him but I do need to kind of set up a window into my view here so you can decide whether we're talking about the same entity or not
To give you a background: I work chiefly with two deities, one of whom is not featured here and that's Hermes, the other would be the Possible Poseidon, but I mostly know him as Leviathan. Physically, I work with two other channellers and it's sort of a thing among us and Hermes (who works with and possesses all three of us alongside Leviathan) and the other spirits we work with including Demeter that Leviathan is Poseidon, though none of us really work with that name since he doesn't tend to present as Poseidon to us. At least not often. We have other forms/names of his more important to our practices, like Leviathan and Shiva. It's also not just Leviathan who says he's Poseidon; the Trinity of Leviathan, (brother), and (brother) all claim at least around us to be the Trimurti (Shiva, Indra/Brahma, Vishnu) as well as Poseidon, Zeus, Hades. So it's either true he is Poseidon or its a group effort lmao.
I am pretty damn sure though especially after seeing your post, not because I'm taking that as the sole informant to my opinion on him being or not being Poseidon, but because I have had a lot of evidence I have up until your post been ignoring, and that post made a lot of things click especially when I took it to Leviathan to be like "ok, damn, this is you?". I just am not able to be 100% sure because Ive had issues with spirits lying about who they are in the past
I say all that (that we work with him, i work wih a group, etc) specifically to highlight that while I put in the work and don't approve of seeing similar characteristics and saying "yep, these cross cultural deities are the same!" without actually putting in an effort to confirm through the deities themselves and multiple physical people I am.... VERY aware this is PVG and based on personal experiences with spirits, which means do not worry, I don't intend to convince you, your UPG and PVG are more important to your practice than mine. Maybe you and I are talking about the same entity, maybe not. But your post is the first time I've really started to actually understand what "I am Poseidon" might mean from Leviathan, because yeah, holy shit, everything on that is so bloody Leviathan and I don't think any of our group (again, we don't work with that name he's just told us so we dont really look into it) knew the name Poseidon was connected to those things.
So yeah, I'll just talk about my experiences with Leviathan (and I'll call him Leviathan because whether he's Poseidon or not, he's Leviathan) that are relevant to the name Poseidon and that post you made, and you can decide for yourself if we're talking about the same entity or not. At worst, I guess you get to hear about a very similar entity, maybe that will be interesting. Lemme pop this under read more just to save my followers dashboards
Leviathan is an incredibly complex person, but at the core of his being he connects to the water cycles, the sky and ocean, the weather, the sun, the underworld as one of its rulers (or one of the rulers of one plane of the underworld), and has a complex relationship with humanity as one of its fathers. Oftentimes when he's around the three of us he makes it rain or otherwise changes the weather, he has a huge, encompassing presence that is often tied to water, watery depths, cold and dark - but not intimidating as a hollow dark night, he's comfortingly full and present and like the safe embrace of the water. That, I understood to relate to Poseidon. Leviathan is very oceanic, an ancient and wise deific being that's been around humans for a long time... Before your post what I understood of the god Poseidon was his connection to the ocean especially as his symbolic wife due to how Leviathan interacts with the ocean, his connection to horses which echoes in other names he's mentioned being him, and his part in the trinity of Hades, Zeus, Poseidon. Oh, and his trident. The trident is an important symbol of power and of the trinity of Leviathan + brothers and is used publicly as a symbol on their plane in the underworld, so that was also something I saw as relevant. You also see the trident as their symbol with the Trimurti in hinduism and in the stereotypical scapegoat of the Devil and probably other places too, its a big royal family trinity thing. That's pretty much all I knew though since as I said Leviathan didn't really work with us through that energy and name. The "I am Poseidon" thing already made sense given the impressions I get from those working explictly with the god Poseidon, he seems very stern and serious and fatherly, the ocean personified almost as a self-contained and private but hugely powerful thing... That made sense to me.
The ocean as his wife thing, that also made sense and to clarify what I meant by that - the Leviathan exists in many places at the same time, hes just a huge, encompassing father deity who can expend that sort of energy and divide his extensive awareness into multiple parts. He spends a lot of his time partly swimming in deep space which he equates to the depths of the ocean, and specifically he blurs with reality so much that it is like swimming in the ocean and being the ocean at the same time. The "ocean" he is in is so close to being his literal other half, actually I would say with how interconnected with reality he gets it literally is his other half, in the way of two halves of a persons body moving as one - but to humans the best metaphor probably would be he moves with and as the ocean like he and her are a couple who are so in tune with each other they move as a cohesive unit that can separate and reconnect at will. Leviathan moves the world around him like Poseidon and his waters. Leviathan does have multiple actual wives though so Amphitrite may be one of their names, but it definitely would check out symbolically. Actually, just googled her to make sure I was right about her being interpreted as the ocean (she is to some) - theres mountains being referened again... Ill get to his connection with those later.
Horses also made sense, they're core to Levithan's being, one of his sacred animals among other things like wolves, hawks/birds, bears, fish, etc. They're used in war which he is deeply tied to, they're a pinnacle of something core to him which is a relationship between animals/animal forms and the being, especially in regards to taking animal forms and becoming them in order to get things done since when riding horses you and the horse must become one. They're tied deeply to one of his chief homes here on Earth and the people there who associate him with them. I've been reconnecting with my link to the Sky through him and the Storm Mother, who is an entity closely tied to and close with Leviathan, and I remember it keeps coming up with them that I see the sky as shown by them as this amalgamation of horses almost like Sleipnir with the many legs, but with many heads, legs, etc. I can't explain this quickly without sacrficing a tonne of context, but effectively Leviathan teaches that the sky is inhabited by a bunch of bodies moving together in complex ways that create the weather system and whatnot, and while I don't understand them well this lifetime I know very well that Leviathan and Zeus possess these bodies to bring in storms and rain and such. It's a lot like working with and riding horses, is what I'm saying. In my workings with Leviathan the sky and the ocean are one, mirrored selves, and so I absolutely understand the idea of Poseidon and his horses tying not just to the fact that he literally rides horses, but also to the ocean (and the sky) as his horses... His mind is filled with horses and what they represent to him.
But here's the thing: While I knew Leviathan was connected with the ocean, I and our group so much more saw him as the rain and the rivers and the water cycle in general. Its something that pops up in the name Shiva; before I knew he was Shiva I knew of Leviathan with rainwater pouring from his hair, and I later came to find out that the Ganges river is supposed to be coming from his head and hair... He's always shown me that hair = personal power and energy, so to him the water cycle and bestowing and removing water from places is core to his being. Hell, I even have a character representing him called "River" lmfAO He's also associated with mountains both in PVG and also as Shiva. Shiva lives in a mountain, mountains are where the earth touches the sky, theyre also the sources of many rivers, they dance with the sky without moving. They're the imagery of his asceticsm, his knowledge, his removal yet presence in humanity, of him as a tall and watchful father, and of his teachings as hard to surmount and challenging but open to anyone to try and climb. One of the first visions I had of him was something like his body (giant and bigger than mountains) being pierced by swords and drained and draped over a mountain in order to feed the earth, a commentary on the relationship between mountains and the sky - clouds are torn down at mountains to feed the earth. That vision may have been from Zeus given some of the commentary on Poseidon in it lines up with how Zeus sees Poseidon... But the brothers have known each other longer than our plane has existed, so its not like the bit I explained of the mountain thing was inaccurate
And that I think ties into the relationship you pointed out with Demeter and Poseidon if I'm understading right. He talks a lot about Mother Earth, in a lot of his names and just as a person he's tied very romantically to the Earth as an archetypal goddess figure, the idea of Mother Earth as his other half (as a partner as opposed to the literal other half of the ocean) and a partner with which he dances, loves, entangles himself, is constantly reoccurring in his work with our group. Even when he doesn't mean to explicitly talk about the Earth he does and in such a loving, vital way, the way an enamoured husband would talk about his wife... Point being, the metaphor of water and earth, Sky and Earth, ocean and land, rivers and valleys, plants and weather, etc, is absolutely fundamental to Leviathan's entire existence. He sees himself as a Sky Father deity, which is something that makes sense in the other names I know from him, but Poseidon always seemed (in my willful ignorance, I hadnt had a reason to look into Poseidon) to be so tied to the ocean which seems to, by nature as its the part of the water cycle that is, detached from the earth. The ocean is the water that cannot meld with the earth, it is filled with salt...
Idk I think with the myth you posted... This is just my own interpretation, but "the ocean, salty and derimental to earth-bound life, is not wanted by Mother Earth. If they met and mated it would not be wanted by her, it would cause so much destruction to life out of the ocean. In order for life to continue and for this union to happen, the Sky Father needs to not just take a form that is congruent with the Earth Mother's workings (she takes a form that he can match, plants merge with water to form life, not rocks or dirt), but also he takes the form that is representative of (Poseidon)'s connection to the Sky like the horses in the sky and then representative of his land-bound an land-traversing form, which is specifially horses. It probably doesnt go well given how harsh weather, associated with the raging sleipnir-esque horses I mentioned earlier, can ravage the land - what she needs like plants do is to be gently steeped in the water from the rain in order to properly foster new life. She gets it, she gets the harshness of the sky, and then steeps in the water of the right manifestation of the Sky Father, the right part of the water cycle as it finally settles in the land as a fixed body of water". It depends on how metaphorical the story is and allllll the context im missing, Im so sure that this myth is way more about the origins of that goddess than a metaphor for her parents, but it makes a lot of sense to me how its gotten across especially with the fact that horses are how he gets around when bound to the earth. It just like. Resonates. Not saying I actualy get the myth but it resonates. yeah thats the word Ill use
And speaking of "earthquakes (opening) fissures in the land, and rivers were sometimes thought of as the entrances to the underworld" - reminds me of something he was telling me the other day about "entering the underworld" (he says hell, but hell is a metaphor for states of suffering): "Who controls the doorway to Hell? The mind teeters on the brink of discovery. The adventurous humans fall into sleep, deep down, dense matter, condensing like rain droplets hanging tantalisingly above the thirsty desert, but they do not fall until the consciousness drops to a place it can be lapped up by the hound." It was metaphorical I know, but he never does things for no reason, and the vision in my head he showed me accompanying the words is so clearly of someone fallling asleep, and falling through their bed as it turns to clouds specifically in the sky as if the clouds are the gateway - and like all sky related things with Leviathan its inherently related to the ocean and water. Clouds are suspended bodies of water, and this isnt falling from the bed to the sky then through clouds, its clouds being the gateway, what the bed and plane dissolves into to become the gateway to the underworld. Oh! And later on in the same post lmfao he literally said "Climb the spires to the clouds, rewrite the center of your mass from dense rain, follow yourself back to the form of the river." as to how you ''get out of hell'', basically he was saying the process that happened with the clouds to get to hell, you reverse itto get out of hell, so the water cycle takes you there and back. alright damn!
Your connection to human waterworks too just bloody blows my mind, whether it was a thing or not in antiquity its just... I understand it makes sese that a water god rules over water displacement, but another thing he was telling me the other day: "The rain falls from the sky into the earth and arranges itself into ordered, purposeful motions, siphons, dances with molecules shifting the ground and being shifted by it. It moves through channels carved out by dense matter, mechanical roads through plantlife and organic bodies, hydraulic machines, watershed siphons, generator sparks through tributaries… (...) Machine is a thing between states, organically placed between alcoves in creation, parted waters and the small allowance of a river between." He was specifically in that post and in general to me talking about how the connection between earth and rain is comparable to that of a machine, specifically talking about how he relates the two. He associates himself and I associate him for very valid reasons lmfao with machinery and technology (reasons being his and his brothers involvement with the evolution of technology on his plane and overseeing it here), so he was explaining how it works in his mind that the water cycle is connected to machines. Its like... Waterworks are so.... Exactly what hes talking about. The Earth is a hydraulic machine and like aqueducts siphoning water from place to place - and he as the water cycle is like waterwork machinery, hes the drive and siphoning between water locations, the connection between earth and water is like machinery, etc. And as a conscious being he decides where it goes which means hes like a pupose built aqueduct or siphon or etc so much more than just the nebulous "where will water go we just dont know" - no, hes not nebulous, he's mechanical AND purposeful like humans building structures to control the course. Of course he very well may have been symbolically connected to and invoked for this stuff's physical applications.
"I see (...) a Majestic Stallion (...) the King of Rivers (...) a liminal god (...) a Father of Mysteries whose teachings allow mortals to harness the awesome power of water and tread the flowing currents between our world and the underworld" That is so absolutely 100% a statement I would echo in its entirety about the god Leviathan. That's been basically my entire work with him. Horses, rivers... And very, very liminal. He is so close in nature and for personal reasons to the Void, the liminal space in-between everything, and presents as such... He's so in-between and outside the understanding of humans, but also so present. Liminal absolutely. And a Father of Mysteries... Most of the spirit work discussions (as opposed to all the casual conversations) we as a group have had with him have related to the unravelling and visceral presentation of core key secrets and mysteries of the world. Working with him is like having the viscera of the world served up on a platter in front of us cleaned and gleaming, his revelations do not hold back and contain views and information that unsettles and off-puts the biased, unready mind, like the vastness of the ocean off-puts the unequipped, but the secrets he reveals are not malicious, theyre an opportunity to transcend the boundaries between yourself and this world, yourself and your deeper self/mind, to destroy ignorance if you're willing to meet him halfway. If you prepare yourself and brave the ocean, you will find things you never dreamed you could find. If you know his arts, if you're initiated into his patronage, you will see things you never dreamed would be possible to understand nor experience. And a lot of what he teaches either is explicitly water and sky related or else its taught in ways that reference and use the water cycle as a baseline....
Yeah. That post just sounded so much like Leviathan Who Says He Is Poseidon and im... Goddamn! Ok! I know why I dont have any trust left for people telling me theyre this that and the other, my ex (a spirit officially banished from ever looking at me again) wiped the floor with all my willingness to meet him half way, but damn. Well, hi Poseidon! He has thrown a tonne my way about this being him, Hermes refers to him (occasionally, he has many names and pet names to cycle through Hermes' mind) as Poseidon, my channeller friends refer to him as Poseidon, hes been trying to prove it to me... Thank you so much @magnoliessence for your post because I think you really gave me an important key regarding him
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3. interlude: choices
A/N: So I’ve been planning things out more and I’ve got a pretty good idea on how I want this all to go and now Imma prolly spend all day writing again, lmao. But surprise!!! I know this is super short, but it counts as a whole chapter and it is VERY important!! It may be called interlude but it is not at all a filler, I promise you. I’m really excited about this, I can’t wait for us to get further into the story!!! Enjoy!!!!
Pairing(s): N/A
Summary: They say that change is everywhere. That it happens all the time. Every second, every minute, every hour. But it's our own choices that decide what those changes are and how they affect us and the people around us. And while sometimes those choices can lead to absolute joy, they can just as easily lead to complete devastation.
Tags: Police, ambulance, body bag, crime scene
Song Inspiration: N/A
Word Count: 464
Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own.
~*~
[Series Masterlist]
[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9]
[Read on AO3]
[Author Masterlist]
~*~
He pushes past dozens of people. None of them are who he's looking for. He steps through the yellow and black barriers without much thought to it. His eyes scan the scene before him as he jogs forward. There's so much noise. So much chaos. Flashes of red and blue take over his vision every few seconds. A rattle catches his attention. His head turns to face the doors of the building as he stops in his tracks, right in the middle of everything. The doors are opening and his breath hitches.
It's something you really only see on tv, not in real life. And he suddenly wishes it could've stayed like that for him. But this is very much real. The rattling he'd heard was that of wheels. His eyes roam over the large black bag being carted off and he tries not to imagine what kind of shape the person within it could be in. He was grateful for the zipper that blocked anyone from seeing them. He swallows around his now dry throat, his eyes following the bag on its journey to its ride, leading him right to who he's here for.
He immediately heads over to the man, calling out to him as he does so, but he receives no answer. He stops when he's standing right in front of him. The man with golden blonde hair and bright red eyes. But something's off with him. He's completely still in his spot on the cold, concrete bench. His clothes are wrinkled and out of place. His hair looks like it's been ran through and pulled at almost to the point of being ripped from his head. And his eyes. They were usually so full of life, sparkling with mischief and amusement. But there was none of that now. Now they were just dull, vacant, unseeing orbs.
He waved his hand in front of his face with another call of the man's name, but there was nothing. No reaction at all. The blonde just kept on staring straight ahead with no expression on his face, not even blinking. He frowned, taking in the items in the man's hands. A pen and a clipboard. Looking closer, he realized what the clipboard was for. The man in front of him was holding paperwork for a witness statement. He swallows, trying not to panic at what that could mean. He looks back to where the body bag was now being strapped down, getting ready to head to its next destination. Who is that? What happened to them? He looks back to the one sitting in front of him, his brows furrowed in confusion. And what does it have to do with him?
~*~
A/N: Soooo, what do you guys think happened?? Very mysterious and vague angst 👀👀 Do you enjoy the puzzle I’ve now sprang on y’all?? Cause I sure do 🤣 But seriously, I hope you guys liked it!! Let me know your thoughts, as usual!!!
~*~
Tags:
@darkelf-7
[Lemme know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series and any other stories relating to it!!!]
#purple_strxnger#purple_strxnger_stories#4koa#4kota#fanfic#fanfiction#4kota fanfic#4kota fanfiction#au#4kota au#tristan liones#lancelot#4kota tristan#4kota lancelot#tristan x lancelot#lancelot x tristan#trilance#trislot#trislance#trance#lanstan#lantris#lancetris#trilance au#trilance fanfic#trilance fanfiction
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Important Information:
This blog is an (admittedly unprofessional) archive of Sqaishey Quack’s old personal blogs from mid 2018 to early 2020. The blogs were all deleted off the internet sometime after the last blog post was made. I recently remembered that I had screenshots of most of the blogs (27/30) sitting on my old laptop collecting digital dust, so I decided to upload them here in case anyone found them interesting and wanted to re-read them. Below are a few things to keep in mind: 1) For those who are unaware, Sqaishey Quack (often shortened to Sqaishey) is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Their name is Kye Garrett. These blogs were written by Sqaishey before they came out, so they often use she/her pronouns as well as their deadname in reference to themself. This is not an excuse to deadname or misgender Sqaishey when reading or discussing these blog posts, as well as when interacting with them and their fandom outside of this space. This warning was probably unnecessary, but I’m giving it just in case.
2) These blogs are largely personal and cover a variety of topics that can be upsetting or triggering to people. There is discussion of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorders, and past abuse/trauma. I’ll make sure to give warnings on each blog post. If anyone has any concerns/thinks I missed a trigger tag, lemme know through the askbox or message me.
3) For additional context; these blogs are very personal, but these were all posted onto Sqaishey’s twitter back when they were being updated. You can still find the dead links to them in their twitter feed. I’m only mentioning this just in case anyone thinks I somehow “stole��� these from an intentionally personal website (like, for a non-youtube audience) or something. These blogs were all fully available to fans and followers when they were being written.
4) I have made no edits to any of these blog screenshots aside from cropping them to make them look cleaner. You can check that in the file information. That being said, all of the words written are Sqaishey’s. I’d also like to apologize in advance for my teenage self not taking better screenshots of the blog- I’ve done what I can by cropping them, but I’m sorry if the reading experience is janky in any way.
5) In the description, you can see that I only have most of the 30 blogs written- I’m missing three. If you have any screenshots of #28 “Today” (written 10/10/19), #29 “Progress” (written 2/2/20), and/or #30 “Comfort” (written 2/25/20), I’d really appreciate if you could send them to me through either the askbox or the submission tab. I’ll also take screenshots of the blog’s original homepage and about sections.
6) As a final note, as much as I think these blogs should still be publicly available, if Sqaishey themself asks me to take down the blog, I will.
And that’s it! Go ham and read/share as much as you like. I’m also all for people discussing these old blogs in the tags (?? I think that’s what it is, I don’t know how tumblr works yet) so feel free to voice any thoughts/opinions you have so long as they’re mindful of pronouns/names and whatnot. Thanks for reading this post.
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Promises, promises
Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.
Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)
Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!
A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo
MAIN MASTERLIST
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It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.
There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.
Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.
"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.
You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.
Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.
Right?
"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.
He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.
"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.
Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.
Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.
He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.
"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.
Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.
You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.
"You're too good for me. Way too good."
Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.
You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.
But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.
You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.
Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—
“Hi.”
You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.
Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.
“Hi.”
The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.
The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.
“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.
“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.
He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”
You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.
Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.
It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.
“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.
He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.
“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.
You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”
He shook his head, “Nope.”
You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.
“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.
“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.
“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.
The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.
You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.
The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”
“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.
“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.
You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”
The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.
“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”
“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.
The guy grinned.
“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”
“Hi.”
You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.
“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.
Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.
“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.
Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”
You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.
“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”
What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.
“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.
Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.
It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.
“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”
You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!
“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.
The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.
“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.
Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”
“Creeper.” you accused.
“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.
His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.
“Hey, Bucky!”
You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.
“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.
Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.
“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”
Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.
You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!
“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.
You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”
Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.
“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.
“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.
Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.
“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.
You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.
“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”
Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.
It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.
Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.
“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”
Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.
“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.
Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.
“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.
“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.
You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.
“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”
A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.
You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious. Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.
“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.
“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.
Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”
“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.
Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.
“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.
You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.
One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.
Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.
The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?
You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.
You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.
It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.
“Can we talk?”
If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.
Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.
But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.
“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.
You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”
You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.
Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.
Sadness and...regret?
Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.
“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.
“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.
Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”
The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.
“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“
“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.
“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”
You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.
“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.
“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.
You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.
“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.
You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”
“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.
Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.
It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.
“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.
Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”
“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”
You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.
“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.
“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.
There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.
“Well, this is me trying something new.”
Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.
“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.
“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.
“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.
You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.
“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”
The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.
“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.
“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.
“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.
“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.
“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.
You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.
“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.
“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.
Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.
“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”
You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”
You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”
Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.
“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.
However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.
Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.
“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.
“You need a password to get through.”
You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”
He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”
You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”
Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”
You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.
“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.
“Penis boobs vagina.”
Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”
You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”
“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”
Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.
“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.
Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”
Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.
“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.
“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.
“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.
“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.
Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.
“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”
The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.
“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.
“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”
The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.
“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.
“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”
His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.
He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”
Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”
“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.
He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.
“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.
“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.
You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.
It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.
You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”
Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.
You smiled.
“And the next night. And the next next night.”
Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.
“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.
You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”
“One word, three letters.”
You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.
“Yes.”
Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.
-
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#bbbwrites#oneshots: bucky barnes#bucky barnes#bucky#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky fic#bucky angst#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes angst#sebastian stan
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Happier than ever (BNHA AU)
K. Bakugo x Fem Reader.
Genre: Angst. No happy endings here. Only hurt.
TW: cuss words, arguing, yelling, very out of character Bakugou. (I think that's all)
~ little side note: This is heavily based off the Billie Eilish song 'Happier than ever'. I basically took the lyrics and made them the dialouge. I'm throwing this into the void. I don't ever post shit I write and don't plan to do so often. I don't know how to make fancy banners n shit so sorry. If I fucked up tagging any triggers lemme know. ~
Shout out to Onyx for beta reading this for me. You a real one.
After being gone for months, you thought that your weekend trip to Musutafu to grab your final belongings from your apartment would be a quick one. Maybe you could pop in to see your parents and a few friends before making a quiet escape back to your new place, but unfortunately, luck was not on your side cause, as soon as you walked through the door of your old place, you saw him there. His back was turned to you but that didn’t stop the small scream that slipped past your lips. Clutching your chest, you called out to him, “Fucking hell! You scared me to death, Katsuki. What are you doing here?”
“Grabbing some of my shit. What the fuck are you doin here, huh?”
“I’m grabbing the last of my things since I’m here for the weekend. I wasn’t planning on you being here when I showed up.”
“Well, no shit.” He scoffs, “Ya made it pretty clear you couldn’t fuckin stand me months ago when you dumped me. Then again when you moved across the goddamn country without saying as much as a single goodbye to anyone. ” His eyes rolling as his arms crossed against his chest.
Matching his attitude and body posture, you spoke again, “well, what did you fucking expect? I would have been wasting my breath talking to you about our relationship when you obviously didn’t fucking care. I would never have treated me as shitty as you did and end up making me hate a place so much then feeling so isolated and alone I needed to leave so I could finally feel like I could breathe. You clearly weren’t aware you made me fucking miserable.”
“I treated you shitty? You’re one to fucking talk. What about your little interviews with the press, huh? Going out of your way to make me look like the bad guy. Painting me to be some kind of fuckin’ villian just cause you couldn’t handle me being a top hero. News flash, princess. Not everything in my life is about you. I have my own priorities, too.”
“I never talked shit about you to them or to anyone for that matter! I would completely dismiss the questions or say I had no comment, if anything, I made it seem like we were just deciding to keep our relationship more private. Would you have wanted me to tell them about the times I would make plans for us and you just wouldn't show up? Or how you completely disregarded my family and friends because you were so concerned with prioritizing yours?” You yelled at him, voice breaking near the end while your hands clutched at your biceps. Tears started to pool up in your eyes at the complete shock of him insinuating that you were trying to make his life more difficult. “Don’t you dare try to make me feel bad for leaving a relationship that was obviously going nowhere to begin with. It was all fun and games until I wanted you to start taking it seriously. I shut people out for you because I loved you, and what did I get in return? Nothing! I got nothing from you!”
There they came. The tears that you were trying so hard to hold back but couldn’t anymore. It was like all the feelings that were pushed down were starting to spill over and there was no stopping them now. All the heartache, disappointments, and remembrance of nights spent alone crying in bed waiting for just any sign that he was still alive making its way back up. The knot in your stomach that started as just a tight feeling bloomed into an acid creeping up your throat while you tried so hard to fight off the sobs your chest was desperately trying to let out.
Numbness creeped though his body as your yelling got more intense and the tears that followed up with it made their escape. As much as he wanted to reach out to touch you, comfort you in any way he possibly could, he knew that chance was gone. So, sticking to what he knows best, he lashed back. His stance changed with his hands now shoved in his pockets and head moving in the motion like he was cracking his neck until he spoke again, “I told you from the very beginning I wanted nothing serious. S’not my fault you got too attached. Hero work is my priority, but you insisted on going public and I only agreed because I knew it would help my reputation but, now that it’s over, I guess it was really all for nothing. You ruined everything good. That’s all on you.”
A small gasp crept past your lips at his words. You knew he was brash and always spoke his mind but you never expected for him to try and shift blame on you. A small part of you thought that he might realize his mistakes and see where things went wrong but this conversation was proving that he is the same as he always is. A disappointment to you.
Wiping your eyes, you nod at him, “Okay, now can you just fucking leave me alone”? You questioned as you started to gather the last of your things. Since he didn’t speak, you assumed he left but, once you were finally done, you saw him standing there. If he was upset, then he hid it well, but it wasn’t your place to care anymore. With the last of your things in your arms, you made your way to the door.
He watched as you struggled to turn the handle then let out a little scoff as he stomped his way to the door and opened it for you. As you passed through the opening, you gave one small glance over your shoulder to peek back at him. The last thing you saw before making your way back to the car was his disgruntled face then the door being slowly shut in yours.
Katsuki always heard the phrase ‘when one door closes, another one opens’ but knowing you wouldn’t be on the other side of the opening door anymore was enough to break the hero down as your steps down the hall faded into the sounds of the night.
#bnha au#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#mha x reader#my hero academia x reader#bnha x you#bnha angst#bnha x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki x y/n#bakugou angst#au#fanfic#alternate universe#angst#im done tagging shit now
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Bad Influence - Chapter 12
Word Count - 3.2K
Authors Note - Hey! It's been about 2 & a half years since I last posted an update for this story, but it's always warmed my heart whenever I've come back on here & seen messages/anons from people saying they've read it & hoped I'd update it! I truly have no idea how much of this fandom still exists on here, but I had so much fun writing this before, so I've just decided to carry on as & when &, if no-one reads it, then that's ok 😂
Honestly this chapter feels trash, I'm super rusty at this. I know where the story was always headed, so I've carried on with what I always had planned for Beth & Nikki, but obviously it's been a while since I've been in their heads & I'd kinda forgotten how to write them, so hopefully I'll get it back!
Feedback is always welcome, please just forgive me if this sucks 😂🖤
Warnings - Ermmmmm don't think there's much in this one tbh, language obviously & some major fluff from Beth at one point
Tags - Ok so no idea who's still here but I'm just gonna tag everyone that used to be tagged, lemme know if you're not interested any more & I'll be sure you take you off!
@cruecifymesixx @freddiessmallnipples @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @80sheart-strings @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place @unknownoblivion @mgkobsessed @nassauartist @sparxx27 @crazyrockrlady @fuckingshelbert @rockaholi @leatherandheels @x-ximenas @madamsixx
(Terrible quality gif but a US Festival one was needed & how fuckin fine are these pair in this, like just kiss, go on I dare ya)
May '83
*Beth's POV*
I peaked out from the corner of the stage to catch a glimpse at the source of the chanting. A mass of 500,000 faces blurred together as their chorus of "Crüe, Crüe, Crüe" shook so violently through the air, I could feel it vibrating in my chest.
Heavy Metal Sunday at the US Festival in San Bernardino had been kicked off by Quiet Riot & they had waltzed off stage after a killer set leaving the crowd hungry for more. And Mötley Crüe were next, ready to deliver.
"I think I'm gonna throw up" Tommy whimpered, leaning over my shoulder to get a look at the sea of people. "What if I fuck up & like drop my sticks or something? Or forget the songs? Or I vomit on stage?"
I laughed at his misplaced panic, turning to face him & resting my hand sympathetically on his shoulder. "T-Bone, you've got more confidence & energy than anyone I know, you've just gotta go out there & use it! You're gonna fucking kill it & you're gonna have the best time! Then you're gonna drop the next album, everyone is gonna go wild for it, you're gonna get even more famous than you already are & you're gonna move up in the world & forget all about us little people!" I joked, my sympathetic hand turning into a playful little shove, trying to distract him from his nerves. "Meanwhile I'll spend my life telling everyone about the time Mötley Crüe invited me to hang out with them backstage at the US Festival, because this is by far the coolest thing that will ever happen to me."
Tommy chuckled, his usual goofy grin returning as my distraction tactic took hold. "You can tell them about the first time you did coke in a bathroom stall with THE Tommy fuckin' Lee!"
"Exactly! Now go get ready, I've got some flirting to do with bands more famous than you," I winked, chuckling at his faux hurt expression, his hands clutching his heart with mimicked pain. "What?! I see you fuckers all the time, I'm making the most of this experience!"
"Sixx is so gonna regret inviting you!" Tommy warned, a hint of concern in his otherwise playful tone.
"That boy thinks some VIP passes are gonna make up for all the shit he's done?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes at Tommy's raised eyebrow. "Look, I'm bored of the Beth-Nikki drama, as I'm sure you all are, so let's forget it. Today is about the band, the reason I'm here is to support you all &-" My words & my focus cut off abruptly as my eyes swept across the cute brunette who'd walked past, his boyish features not too dissimilar to Tommy's. He clearly felt my gaze & his eyes flickered to meet mine, catching me off guard with a cute grin that I couldn't help but return without a thought. "... And you know, maybe to support some other band members too.." I finished slyly.
Tommy followed my eyeline, trying to deduce who'd caught my attention & he laughed when he'd figured it out.
"Eddie, really?" He howled, gesturing obviously towards at the founding member of Van Halen. "I would've though Roth would've been more up your street, yanno, given your history with blonde front men & all!"
I swiped at his arm sharply, shushing him & smiling apologetically in Eddie's direction as he gave an awkward little nod & moved on.
"Goddamn it T-Bone, your big fat mouth is gonna ruin this for me! Now will you go play your damn set, Sixx looks like he's gonna blow any second."
"Ok, ok, I'm going! Thanks for the pep talk doll, you're the best!" Tommy gave me a quick peck on the forehead before bounding back off like an excited puppy to join his band mates, all traces of nerves dissipated.
I looked over at the four of them, all doing their usual pre show routines. Mick was swigging from his hip flask, next to Vince who was flirting with a cute stage hand. Tommy was enthusiastically drumming his sticks on everything in sight, including a stern looking Nikki who was, no doubt, trying to psych them all up with one of his usual don't-fuck-it-up speeches.
I observed them for a moment & couldn't help but allow a proud feeling to warm my heart. I listened the echo of the crowd as they continued their chant, which fast turned to cheers & shouts of excitement as the four of them made their way on to the stage. It was so easy to forget how famous they'd gotten in the time I'd known them. To me, they were friends, no matter the drama that had unfolded between me, Nikki & Vince, they weren't celebrities or rockstars. But as I watched them play, listened to their music I'd once despised but had grown to enjoy, it was like watching strangers. I felt like just another fan, getting to enjoy a band. It was surreal to connect the reckless, fun, roguish boys I hung out with to these talented, serious musicians.
My gaze & attention, unintentionally but predictably, wandered to Nikki, dolled up in all his leather & studs, the smears of black paint under his eyes, beaming at the crowd as they gave him the reaction to his music that he so badly craved. Against my better judgement, I found it inordinately endearing. If I didn't already know from our little psychology session together just how meaningful music was to him & how deep his passion ran, it was evident on his face for all 500,000 fans, & me, to see.
The screaming audience in my peripheral vanished, as did Vince, Mick & Tom, as I fell captive to Nikkis performance. Studying his child like, genuine smile, I realised it felt like I was seeing the real him for the first time, the man underneath the bravado, the ego, the smug smiles & the cruel quips. He looked truly content, like he belonged.
And suddenly, I felt sad.
I finally allowed my mind to admit what I'd continued to suppress underneath all my loathing towards Nikki, the reason I kept coming back & letting him in.
I wanted him.
But not just in the way he wanted me. I wanted this version of him, the content, untroubled Nikki with the genuine smile. I wanted to experience him this way, share in his passion & celebrate it with him, be by his side as he suceeded in what he loved the most. And the sadness came simply because I knew I could never. I knew as soon as the set was over & he walked off that stage, I'd have to face the anger that still consumed me, the reality of the impossibility that Nikki Sixx could ever be someone I could allow myself to fall for.
Senseless tears stung my eyes, threatening to spill over as I observed him play the last few notes of their last song & enthusiastically part with the stage, the crowd &, ultimately, the version of him that I longed for.
I shook my head, furiously wiping my eyes to discourage any more emotional displays & ran to greet them with all the spirit & excitement they deserved.
"Reynolds! Whatcha think doll? Did we kill it or what?!" Whooped Tommy, opening his arms warmly towards me as I sprinted over. I jumped into them as he picked me up & spun me around, giggling with nothing but joy for them.
"You guys were unbelievable! Listen to them out there, they can't get enough of you!" I gushed as he put me down & I hugged Vince, then Mick.
I turned to Nikki, instinctively ready to congratulate him with a hug too, but paused awkwardly as our eyes met & we exchanged an unsure glance.
"Ahem, yeah you guys were great," I managed, smiling at him, praying the discomfort wasn't too obvious.
"Thanks Lizzy.. I'm, uh- I'm really glad to decided to come." He replied, a fraction of that genuine smile still in place of his sweaty, exhausted face.
"Yeah.. Me too, Sixx."
●●●
The next few hours were a blur of execs, press & management swamping the band as I watched the rest of the festival from the sidelines, feeling a little out of place in amongst the crew & talent backstage.
Halfway through enjoying the Prince of Darkness himself perform, I felt a light rap on my shoulder & turned to see a familiar face I would never have expected.
"Daniel?!" I spluttered, laughing a little at the surprise to see his clean cut, handsome face in the wash of metal heads & glam rock bands I'd grown acustom to throughout the day.
He laughed right back, the sound sending a little spark running through me. "How're you doing Beth?"
"I'm good! Wow, this is bizarre, what're you doing here?" I quizzed, the perplexed looking on my face amusing him all the more.
"Well med school comes with a hefty price tag unfortunately, so I'm working as one of the festival medics. I was called back to attend to a couple of the bands that apparently got into a bit of a brawl", he answered, before raising his eyebrow so subtly, I could've almost missed it. "Look at you backstage, miss VIP!" He gestured towards the lanyard dangling from my neck. "I'm presuming this means you're still firmly strapped into that rollercoaster, huh? Front row & all!"
I gave an sheepish smile, not sure how take his comment or how to respond.
"Well no, I'm not on the rollercoaster, anymore" I mused, sticking with his metaphor, "But I'm still at the theme park, I guess!" Daniel looked confused as I gestured at my surroundings & laughed at my own stupid comparison. I coughed & hurriedly explained "That's to say, I'm not here for Nikki, I'm here supporting the band yanno, they're my friends & all."
"Ahh I see!" He nodded slowly, not looking at all convinced. "Well I hope you're having fun, it was lovely to bump into you."
I mumbled a "you too", back at him as he turned to walk away, but I caught him by the arm, feeling like I had more to say.
"Daniel, I'm sorry for that night, the impression I must've given you.. The groupie image now being firmly backed up by my being here, I guess." I muttered sorely. "I'm not really sure why but I feel like I owe you more of an explanation."
"You don't owe me anything, Beth. We met, had a great time, but you're not in a place to carry that on & that's fine, I understand." He paused, clearly unsure whether to say what he was thinking, but he chose to continue, "what I don't understand is why you're here, supporting a man that would speak of you so appalling & treat you as such. The things he said that night, in front of me, a perfect stranger, were unforgiveable. I hate to imagine what else he'd said & done before that to make you dislike him so much."
"I know I- Nikki is just.." I let my sentence trail off.
"Like I said, you don't owe me an explanation. I just hope at some point you'll see that you see you deserve better."
I smiled weakly, struggling to see how he was wrong.
Daniel sensed my discomfort & kindly changed the subject. "How about we go grab a coffee or something before another fight breaks out & I have to go see to another bloody nose, huh?"
*Nikkis POV*
I leaned over one of the large music cases, discarded to the side of the stage, watching Ozzy do his thing. I marvelled at the thought that we had not long before played on the exact stage that Ozzy fucking Osbourne was now strutting around. My eyes wandered to the crowd, observing those that had screamed our names & sang along to our songs just hours before & I felt a dumb, dopey smile spread uncontrollably across my face.
My eyes locked with a beautiful, busty blonde in the front row & I regained my composure, winking at her & replacing my smile with the trademark smirk that I knew worked every time. She blushed scarlet & blew me a kiss as I chuckled to myself, wondering if there was a way to get her backstage.
My eyes carried on their journey, scanning the crowd, looking for more woman I could infatuate with a simple look, riding high on the success of the day, the attention & the recent offer of joining the Prince of Darkness on his next tour.
My gaze landed on an angel on the opposite wing to where I stood, throwing her head back in laughter so intoxicating, I was sure I could hear it over the roaring speakers, all the way across the stage. I got lost in her beauty for a moment, enjoying her smile, as he shy eyes flitted from the ground to the face of the person she was talking to, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder in a subtle, yet flirtatious way. Beth laughed again, this time placing her hand on the chest of that asshole from the bar, the one that challenged me & told me I wasn't good enough for her. I felt my jaw tense at the sight of him resting his hand over hers, the way he rubbed his thumb across it gently as she spoke, all his attention on her face as he listened to what she had to say. Jealousy coursed through me hotly, causing me to jolt upright & turn away from them, as if it actually burned to watch.
"What the fuck is he doing here?!" I seethed to Tommy, turning back to them & pointing. "Did she invite that piece of shit?!"
Tom followed my finger & furrowed his brow, clearly not recognising the man Beth was now leaning towards in a way that made my stomach lurch & my fists ball up until my knuckles turned white.
"Who is it?!"
"It's that fucking pretty boy from the bar. She's invited him just to piss me off, to get back at me. How could she fucking do that, doesn't she know what today means for us?! And here she is, ruining it on purpose like the spoiled brat she is."
Vince shot me a sharp looking, warning me to carry on.
"Oh what, Vince?!" I spat, venomously.
"Honestly, who fucking cares, Sixx?! Let the girl enjoy herself, she's not ruining anything for anyone other than you & honestly, you fucking deserve it." He shot back.
"We invited her here, got her backstage & she thinks she can just bring some prick along with her for free?! Nah, she's not using us to impress some fucker & get her leg up, they're both fucking out of here."
I started marching off, ready to get their asses hurled out, when Micks firm palm on my chest stopped my tracks.
"Mars, get your fucking hand off me."
"Enough, Nikki." He said, quietly but unflinchingly.
"Sixx, just fucking let it go, we've all had enough," Vince jumped in. "The arguing between the two of you, its gotta stop. You fucked me over, got to screw the chick, what more do you want?! She's just a girl, move on like you always do. The constant love-hate thing is getting old, we're bored of it."
Tommy nodded slightly in agreement as Mick removed his hand. I glared harshly at them all, too stubborn to admit they were probably right, but also too petty to let it go.
"Fine, she can get her pretty boy fuck, what the fuck do I care?!" I lied, convincing no-one as I turned back to pretend to catch the last of Ozzys set.
But my eyes bore through the scene on stage & fixed on my girl across the way, her lips pressed against his, her hands in his hair. My mind flashed through all of the times I'd seen her kiss Vince & the jealousy I felt. But this was different, this felt worse. With Vince, it had an expiry date, but this..
I could really lose her to this guy, I thought.
My jaw clenched once again at the idea that someone could make her happy, that someone would get to enjoy every part of her. The simple suggestion that she might want someone so much that she would forget about me.
*Beths POV*
I hurried quickly to use the bathroom, excited to get back to talking to Daniel. As I entered the rank portable toilet, I cringed at the idea of sitting on something that god knows how many people had used that day. I went to grab a fistful of paper from the dispenser, but I cursed as my hand hit the empty cardboard tube left inside.
"C'mon..." I muttered, fumbling around in my purse for some tissues I could use to line the seat, but something else caught my eye, that made me stop dead.
My fingers rested gently on the tampon I always kept in my bag for emergencies & my brain scrambled to do the math.
Dread descending over me like a cloud threatening rain as I figured out the time it'd been since Nikkis little hit & run at my place.
"But we used protection," I whispered aloud to myself. But it didn't make sense, I was late. And I'm never late.
I practically fell out of the porta potty, my mind swimming with confusion & doubt, when strong, leather clad arms caught me.
"You ok there Lizzy? Had a bit too much to drink, have we?"
My eyes lifted to meet Nikkis, his expression amused, but with something else behind his green eyes that I couldn't quite place. He look strained, like he was perhaps forcing his usual shit eating smirk.
"Uh yeah, I'm fine Nikki, thanks." I mumbled, desperate to get away from him before he sensed something was really wrong.
But it was too late. "Beth, are you ok?" He asked again, this time concern evident in his voice.
"Nikki, I said I'm fine." I said, stronger this time, but a slight falter in my voice still gave me away. "I just need to go home, I'm sorry."
"Beth, what's happened?! Did that asshole do something to you? I swear to god, if he's laid a fucking hand on you, I'll kill him-"
"What?!" I puzzled, wondering who he was talking about. "Oh Daniel?" I didn't realise he'd seen us together, but that was another problem for another time. Nikkis jealousy was the least of my concerns right now. I had to be sure. I had to get out of here, go find a pharmacy & pray the test would be negative.
I couldn't be pregnant. Especially not by Nikki Sixx.
"Angel," He propped his fingers under my chin & lifted my face until our eyes met & I saw the silent distress on his face, "tell me what's wrong."
#motley crue#nikki sixx#the dirt#vince neil#tommy lee#mick mars#motley crue fandom#motley crue imagine#motley crue fanfic#motley crue fanfiction#the dirt imagine#the dirt fandom#the dirt fanfic#the dirt fanfiction#nikki sixx fanfic#nikki sixx fanfiction#nikki sixx fandom#nikki sixx imagine#vince neil fandom#vince neil fanfiction#vince neil imagine#vince neil fanfic#tommy lee fandom#tommy lee imagine#tommy lee fanfic#tommy lee fanfiction#mick mars fanfic#mick mars imagine#mick mars fandom#mick mars fanfiction
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This got really long so i put it under a cut and I'm totally going backward with this series but i cant help myself. I HAVE to start with my husband. Most of these are my own headcanons but please read the warning.
Warning: some of these are confirmed in lessons/devilgrams. If you dont want spoilers, don't read the ones in red. (Also Note: I remember reading all of these either in the game or on the official wiki page but I could not find all the in-game sources if you asked me to. Still, they are tagged as spoilers.)
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾DIAVOLO Life Headcanons☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
Diavolo’s dad, the Demon King (whom I Headcanon to be named Daemon. I could write headcanons on that guy too?? Lemme know what you guys want) loved Diavolo’s mom dearly and Diavolo was thus a product of pure love, not necessarily just to have an heir. That’s just a bonus.
Sadly Diavolo’s mom died in childbirth, leaving only the Demon King and Barbatos to take care of him.
This caused the King to begin resenting his son and Daemon grew cold. Barbatos was, more often than not, the one who took care of little Diavolo, although Diavolo tried desperately to win his dad’s affections, never truly understanding why his father would hate him.
Diavolo was a rambunctious child and caused a lot of trouble, much to his father’s dismay, and he found himself in trouble a lot.
On top of that, Diavolo is also highly emotional and it wasn’t until much later that he learned that tears won’t get him anywhere. Barbatos used to give him sweets and tea every time he cried, which was a lot thanks to his dad.
Although the butler did stop this at some point, that’s definitely where Diavolo’s love for tea came from
Barbatos is definitely, and has always been, someone he confided in, and he found it hard to view him as nothing but a ‘servant’, per his dad. It’s not even that his father hated Barbatos or thought of him as lesser than, he just didn’t like that Diavolo confided more in him than anyone else.
Diavolo definitely had a rebellious phase as he grew up. The mixture of his absent-father’s non-existent love and the responsibilities put on his shoulders from a very young age got too much for him at some point and let’s just say…. Diavolo had a lot of ‘oopsies’ in his ‘teenage’ years.
If you know, you know. They are no longer among the living. R.I.P.
People used Diavolo a lot because of this, though. The lack of care and love at home caused a young Diavolo to be naive and trust too easily, getting hurt in the process
Which is why Barbatos now has a torture chamber for the enemies of Diavolo (or people who just want/use him for the wrong reasons)
When Diavolo didn’t try to escape the castle for some love, he found comfort in art and unbeknownst to both his father and anyone else working at the castle, Barbatos helped him build a mini art gallery up in one of the towers where Diavolo still goes for some relaxation or just to think.
A lot of people backstabbed him as he grew up and even he himself backstabbed a lot of people as well. At some point he saw the hurt he caused and decided to never lie again, and now he’s always telling the truth, albeit he can beat around the bush a lot, and knows for certain when someone else is lying to him.
At some point, his father forbade him to treat Barbatos as more than a trusted servant and that pretty much solidified his dislike, not hatred, for his father.
As he grew up into the man he is now, he started to see his dad as more of an authoritarian ruler that works for his own political gain rather than the well being of everyone. The Devildom was never in shambles, or anything, but one could feel a clear hierarchy and there was definitely tension with the other two realms
His father was actually the one is (somewhat, if not fully) started the war against heaven (not to be confused with the celestial war that the brothers were part of)
Now, he never hated his father, truly. To a certain extent, he actually understood why his father was the way he was. He lost his beloved wife for a son he had to grow a new relationship with. Diavolo never thought his father hated him, either, but one could tell that their relationship was filled with grief, heartache, and even a sense of regret.
Diavolo never blamed his father, though, and as he grew older, he took certain aspects of his father’s character into his own: loyalty, ambition, and honesty.
That’s why his father stepped down, but not fully since Diavolo hasn’t been crowned yet. The Demon King is tired; tired of pushing through the days, and Diavolo understands.
The situation with his parents is also the reason why Diavolo refuses to settle down so easily. He’s scared of both A.) trusting the wrong people again, like he had many times before, and B.) of having the same fate as his father and mother.
That and Barbatos is highly protective of him lol Good luck getting past the butler if you want to be with the future King.
One of the main reasons Diavolo keeps up the naive and himbo attitude is also because he never got to be a kid. His father pushed him straight into royal life once he was old enough to comprehend things.
This does not mean, though, that Diavolo is actually a himbo. He’s quite intelligent and there’s a reason for everything he does.
Diavolo doesn’t believe in coincidences and is a firm believer in fate; that everything happens as it should and for a reason (A/N: homie is a determinist and that lowkey makes me happy lol)
That’s why he’s perfectly fine taking his time and doing his thing. He likes to have a certain sense of control, of course, but not to the extent that Lucifer does. He’s cool going with the flow as well.
Speaking of Lucifer, the reason he views him as a best friend and even family is because Diavolo believes he can relate to the absence of a father that’s supposed to be there no matter what
That and because Lucifer is brutally honest. He doesn’t take Diavolo for granted and he certainly doesn’t want Diavolo around for the riches and fame. Diavolo appreciates that a lot.
Diavolo gets along with pretty much everyone; he’s very adaptable because he has to be. However, that doesn’t necessarily make him an extrovert. As a matter of fact, he’s actually more of an introvert and likes to keep to himself or with a limited group of close friends
Speaking of friends, Diavolo doesn’t have a lot, if any, outside of the brothers and Barbatos. It’s hard to know who to trust when so many people just want to use him or rob him, even strip him of his title.
Diavolo is very lonely, as a matter of fact, and he hopes, prays even, that he could find a bond with someone, anyone, like Lucifer shares with his brothers. In a sense, he may even be jealous of the seven.
Although his life was less than peachy, even if he did have everything anyone could ever wish for, Diavolo craves true emotional connections, which is why he clings to Barbatos and Lucifer.
This, however, doesn’t mean he is helpless. He’s very much an independent, intelligent, and ambitious man, and he is excited for the future, whatever it may hold.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#cheys headcanons#obey me lord diavolo#shall we date diavolo#om! diavolo#obey me diavolo#diavolo obey me#obey me diavolo x reader
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You Have My Word
The Rebel and The Mandalorian, Chapter 2
Mando finds you with a bounty, he takes you back to Peli’s hanger on Tatooine to help patch up your wounds. He ends up hiring you on as crew, but you have a past of your own that you’re trying to run from. Will the two of you stay together despite the secrets?
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader
Word Count: 5.9 k
Tags: f!masturbation, getting caught masturbating.. again, fingering, rough sex, unprotected PIV, dom!din, cuddling, some fluff too
Notes: Hi besties! here's chapter 2, honestly this is still one of my favorite chapters. enjoy and please lemme know what you think! ily all <3
Warning: This work is going to have talks about past torture that reader endured, she has been put through some shit.
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
It’s been a few days since your … interaction with Mando. Both of you decided to simply ignore what happened on the floor of the hull, you didn’t bring it up because you were embarrassed you had done something so intimate in front of someone you hardly knew. You weren’t sure why he hadn't brought it up but you were sure the reasoning was similar to your own. Despite the incident things weren’t too awkward. You promised yourself that night that the interaction wouldn’t make your week long trip harder than it was already going to be.
You both work quietly around each other, one of you always with the kid while the other checks the flight computers to make sure the ship’s running smoothly on course. You’re in the cockpit working on a panel of wires when you hear his familiar footsteps. He comes up the ladder with the kid latched under his arm, he has rations in his hand. You stop working on the panel of wires and reach for the kid instinctively. Mando hands you the child and two ration packets. You give him a look, he has three ration packs and you’ve never seen him eat, let alone with you.
“I was wondering if you’d eat with me, we can sit back to back on the floor, only if you want to though.” Mando seems to be reading your thoughts and you stifle a small smile before sitting yourself on the floor facing the left side of the cockpit with the child in your lap.
Mando sits down facing the right side and he leans his back against you, you feel him shifting to take the helmet off.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like to live your life in a helmet.” You say while giving a piece of the ration packet bread to the small, grabby green hands in front of you. He takes it, eating the food quickly before holding his hands up for another piece. You make sure to keep the baby’s back against your chest so he can’t see Mando either.
“This is the way.” Mando says, his deep voice causes the words to vibrate against your spine.
“I have some questions about Mandalorians, am I allowed to ask you?” You lower your voice worried you may overstep boundaries.
“I can answer them.” Mando answers after a few seconds, you imagine him trying to talk around a mouth full of food and it brings a smile to your lips.
“I know I’m not allowed to see your face, is there anyone that is allowed to see it?” You ask in between bites from your own ration packet
“No, not unless I get married or have a child of my own. No one has seen my face since I was a foundling.” You nod your head stopping once you realize he can’t see the acknowledgement.
“That seems lonely, I know of a Mandalorian, she takes her helmet off though. Do you know why she would?” You turn your attention to the kid in your lap, he finished his ration package and has now taken it upon himself to chew on the packaging.
“She isn’t a true Mandalorian, does she wear beskar?” Mando seems to tense at the idea of a Mandalorian who doesn’t follow the same path he does.
“I think she does, she wears a full suit of armor, her name is Sabine Wren, I knew her before I was taken prisoner, when I was still a part of the rebellion.” you trail off at the end not wanting to dive too far into your past.
“I’ve never heard that name before, can I ask you a question now.” Mando moves slightly against your back. You feel his muscles against you as he adjusts and his head comes to rest on top of your own. He takes your silence as a yes.
“The other day, when I woke you up to give you food, you screamed of a red man, and then you seemed to get really upset when I was talking about the kid’s people, are the Jedi bad?” You tense further into his back and look down at the kid, his eyes stare back at you, like he’s patiently waiting for your answer as much as Mando is.
“No, they aren’t, they’re good people. They used to be peace keepers of the galaxy before the Sith rose to power with the Empire.” The child’s ears move with your words, he burrows himself into you and you wrap your arms around him tighter, running one finger along the length of his ear.
“I don’t know what happened to you in your past, but I’m sorry.” Mando’s hand comes behind him to squeeze your upper arm for a second before letting go.
“There's no reason to be sorry.” you turn your gaze to the place Mando touched you. Your throat tightens and starts to get sticky with emotion. You need to change the subject as quickly as possible so you think of another question to ask.
“You said Mando is just a name people call you, not your real one. Do you have a real one? Or does The Way forbid it?” Mando’s back tenses for a split second then he relaxes against you.
“I have a name, The Way doesn’t forbid us to tell people. Names are just as sacred as faces, I’m supposed to be a nameless, faceless warrior.” You let his words wash over you, no one has seen his face since he was a child and no one has called him by his name for probably just as long, what a lonely life to lead. You realize Mando knows what loneliness feels like, he carries it with him every day, just like you do.
“This is the way.” You say it more to yourself, Mando chuckles behind you and you love the way it vibrates through your chest. You lean your head against his back and lower your eyes to the small child who's now snoring loudly on your lap.
Mando moves behind you and you know your time spent on the floor eating is over, you know he’s readjusting his helmet to his head. You wish it wasn’t over, you could spend the rest of your days on the floor of the cockpit. What you didn’t expect is for him to turn so his chest is flush with your back. His arms travel down yours to where the child lays in your lap. He gently lifts the child from your arms before standing to set the child in his pram.
Mando turns back to you, offering you a hand to help you up. You take his hand, he tugs you up from the ground roughly causing you to stumble into his arms, his left hand moves to caress your face while the right wraps around your back. He holds you for what feels like forever, and somehow it's still too short. You look into his visor trying to find any part of his face that makes him feel more real to you. After searching for a minute you give up and decide to snake your arms around his back, resting your cheek on his chest, letting yourself breathe in the scent of him. He always smells amazing despite his mild soap. You’re the first to pull away from the embrace. The weight on your chest begins to crush you and your throat tightens again with emotion. You clear your throat and cast your eyes to the floor, trying to break the tension in the room.
“I’m gonna go take a shower, thank you for having food with me, and answering my questions.” You head to the ladder giving Mando one last look over your shoulder as you say the words.
“Thank you for answering mine.” His voice sounds warm and a small smile tugs on your lips before you drop off the ladder and into the hull of the ship.
You aren’t sure what that hug meant or why you reacted the way you did but it was nice. You feel the way your heart is beating roughly against your chest, only Mando has ever been able to elicit these types of reactions from you.
You strip the clothes off your body, looking at your freshest scars, the burn on your thigh was healing well enough and the gash on your arm is now a mild pink scar, neither of them hurt. Your abdomen hardly ached either. You run your hand across the other scars that littered your body, some of them were from the rebellion, some from Imperials who tortured you. Your hand lands on the largest scar on your abdomen, a few inches up and to the left of the yellowing bruise, your fingers linger over it thinking about who gave you this lifetime reminder of what you endured.
You think about Kar and how he hardly ever beat you, drugged you yes, burned you with his blaster, sure. But outside of him kicking you after ripping out your tracker. He hardly ever laid a hand on you. When he had taken you from the imperials you were worried that he’d try to have his way with you or try to sell you off to some sleazy person but he never did. He wasn’t a good guy by any meaning of the word but he had only wanted you for your mechanic and pilot knowledge. You don’t know how many ships you helped him steal or how many freighters carrying spice you destroyed for him.
You shiver as thoughts of the dark times of your past flash in your mind. What you did to survive, chipping pieces of yourself away to stay alive. Even if you want your past life back, you can never have it. You’ve been plunged into darkness and there’s no returning from that. You shake your head to get rid of all the thoughts. You didn’t want to think about Kar anymore. He was dead and frozen in carbonate. You didn’t want to think about the man with the red lightsaber either, he was dead too, you made sure of it.
You step into the warm spray of the shower and decide to think of Mando instead. You’ve thought about him every shower since he found you on the floor of the hull. You decided to take up his way of getting release rather than getting caught out in the open.
Your hand moves down your body, you close your eyes, and imagine it’s his instead. Your fingers graze your clit, you gasp into the spray of the water. You think about what he said that night, about taking you on the floor of the shower. Shoving his cock down your throat and your mouth starts watering at the thought of it. Your mind trails off again to how you want him to push you over the control panels in the cockpit, fucking you until you scream his name in pure bliss. Your free hand trails up your stomach to grab your chest and you massage the soft skin thinking about how amazing his warm hand would feel over the tender flesh.
Your fingers start moving quicker as your thoughts fill with all the filthy things Mando can do to your body. You start moaning softly into the spray of the shower and the water gets in your mouth as you writhe in the warmth of it. Your eyes screw shut as your release approaches quickly. You whisper, “Yes Mando, please fuck me!” into the water.
Your fingers start moving at an even quicker rate now. Your forehead leans forward against the cool shower wall, your hand tightens on your chest and your finger drags over the sensitive skin of your nipple. Your orgasm starts to barrel through you with a force that shakes your already unsteady legs. You can’t stop yourself as you scream for Mando, your release takes you over completely, possessing you to beg and plead for him as you clench around nothing. You finally come down from your high and there’s a knock at the refresher door. You freeze and immediately curse yourself for getting out of hand with your thoughts.
“Um I’m ok! I thought I felt the ship move but everything’s ok!” You yell over the sound of the water, still trying to orient your post orgasm brain. You pull your hands away from your body and place them both against the shower wall trying to steady your body and wild heart rate.
“Oh alright,” Mando says through the door, he pauses before adding, “what was that about you begging me to fuck you though?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You are absolutely fucking mortified, you’ve been caught red handed twice now. You never want to leave the refresher again.
“Shame that you don’t, I was going to tell you to stop begging and come out here so I can.” You can practically hear the smirk in his voice, the bastard, but it doesn’t stop your body from lighting up with more pleasure. Your thighs press together instinctively as your one orgasm suddenly isn’t enough to satiate you.
You finish your shower as slowly as you can to avoid the humiliation of having to face Mando. You dress even slower, once you open the refresher doors you’re standing face to face with Mando. Dressed only in his underclothing, he holds a small piece of black fabric in his hands out in front of him.
“Put this on, ner vencuy’ika.” Mando thrusts the fabric into your hands and you realize quickly it's a blindfold he made out of one of his shirts. You begin to wrap the fabric across your face, your hands moving too slowly apparently because Mando grabs to fabric from you and begins to tie it quickly behind your head,
“Can you see anything?” He asks. His hands trail down your body and lands on your lower back, pulling you into him. You gasp when you feel his bulge and you look around for a moment before shaking your head no.
“Not a thing, it's pitch black.” Mando hums to himself.
“Good.” his hands are still rubbing circles into your lower back. He pulls his hands away for a second. You hear something heavy hit the floor with a loud thud, you jump for a split second. His soft lips find your neck, and you realize the loud sound was from him dumping his helmet on the ground. A moan falls from your mouth at the feeling of his lips on your body. Your hands instinctively go for his hair but you freeze before they reach their destination.
“Am I allowed to touch your hair?” He chuckles softly into your neck before bringing his hands back up your body, he trails them up your arms until they land on your hands and he brings them down into his hair, he moans against your neck as your fingers warp around the soft hair at his neck. You run your hands through it and grab a handful to pull him closer to your body, eliciting another low sound from him.
His hands travel back down your body all the way to the backs of your thighs. He picks you up effortlessly, you wrap your legs around him and allow him to carry you. He puts you down on the soft, small bed you’ve made in the corner. His lips find their way back to your body and you moan as his tongue darts out to lick a long stripe down your neck. He rocks his hips into you in response, you wrap your legs around him tighter to get more friction. His lips pull away from your jaw but only to place them on your own. The kiss is rough, full of desire, both your pent up emotion for each other coming out in a heat filled kiss. His hips continue to grind against your body. You’re aching for him, you pull away from the kiss and your mind spins as his lips move back down your jaw to bite and suck on your neck.
“Please Mando, I need to feel you.” Before you can finish your sentence he’s ripping your clothes from your body. He pulls your pants off in one fluid swipe.
“I’ve been waiting to hear you say that since I met you. Take your tunic off.” he pulls away from your body, and gives you both space to take over your remaining clothing. You quickly remove your top and your under shirt, you’re fully nude against the floor of the hull, your hair still wet from your shower. His naked chest presses against you and his mouth returns to the spot on your neck, you shift your hips seeking more friction again. He snakes one arm between your legs, and lets out a groan when he feels how wet you are.
“Fuck you’re so wet, is this all for me? I’ve barely even touched you, I bet you were touching yourself in the shower thinking about me too. That’s why you moaned my name isn’t it?” His fingers find their way to your clit and you moan into his mouth as he circles the bundle of nerves expertly.
“Y-yes, I was touching myself again thinking about how I want you to fuck me until I’m screaming your name.”
“Fuck.” His voice comes out husky in reply, he positions his hand so his thumb can continue to rub against your clit and he’s also able to move his fingers to your entrance. He teases you for a second before slipping the first knuckle inside of you.
“Mesh’la, I plan on fucking you, thoroughly, but first I want to feel how hard you can come around my fingers, okay?” You nod your head enthusiastically, you can’t string together words correctly right now, Mando’s turning your mind into an unfocused stream of consciousness with every flick of his tongue on your neck and his fingers deep inside you.
His fingers rock into you, the pads of them hitting the nerves deep inside of you perfectly, your hips buck at the sensation, needing more contact. His free hand moves from wherever it was to hold your hips down, his entire hand splays across your lower abdomen. You whine at the feeling of his fingers inside of you, you clench around them as his pace increases, working you towards your second orgasm of the night.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His fingers start to move quicker inside you, changing the pace again. his thumb’s pace stays unrelenting and steady on your sensitive clit. He bites down on your neck hard enough to make you hiss and he quickly kisses the area, soothing it with his warm tongue.
“Please, I need you to fuck me.” You hate how needy your voice sounds but you need him inside you, your body is screaming for him to consume you in every way possible. He thrusts his fingers up to a spot that makes you gasp and you arch your back off the blanket. Mando’s hand on your lower abdomen pushes you back against the floor, your legs kick out and your hands tangle in the blanket beneath you.
“Soon, I promise. But first you’re going to come around my fingers, do you understand me?” Goosebumps break out across your skin at his demanding tone. You’re panting at this point, unable to form words again.
“Mesh’la, I want to hear you say you understand me.” His fingers hit that spot again, you’re seeing stars behind your eyes, you let out another small whine. Mando hits the spot again and then again, his thumb dragging across your clit slowly as his fingers continue to hit that spot, enough to bring you pleasure but not enough to send you over the edge.
“I understand.” Your voice is breathy but you’re able to get the words out. His thumb starts to move quicker, his free hand still holds your hips down. You can barely hold on, your orgasm is creeping over the horizon, and Mando’s hands are pushing you closer to the edge. Your hands fist the blankets and your legs kicking out harder. Mando lets you thrash against the blanket, his hand never faltering from its unforgiving pace. The cool air of the Crest offers some relief to your hot, sweat stricken skin, the air caressing it lightly helping you from going straight into over stimulation. Mando places a hot open mouthed kiss to your chest and his mouth quickly finds your nipple. He drags it between his teeth, his tongue flicking over the hard peak lightly.
“Mando I’m-“ you moan out in between strokes of his fingers, you feel the stubble on his face as he drags his lips over your nipple.
“Good, come for me.” Mando’s tone is final, demanding, and so fucking hot. His fingers keep hitting the same delicious spot inside you, his mouth warm and wet on your nipple. You’re gasping and moaning as Mando finger fucks you over the edge, sending you head first into the most powerful orgasm you’ve ever received from a partner before. All the noises dull, as you writhe on the blankets, trying to get away from Mando’s unrelenting hands but he continues to stroke you long after you come down from your climax. You have no time to recover as Mando pulls you up into his chest. He buries his face into your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin there.
“Now, Mesh’la, now I’m going to fuck you until you scream my name, because I would be a fool to not give you exactly what you ask for.” his lips move back to yours for a moment, he grinds your overly sensitive sex against his cock before he turns you around. You’re on your hands and knees facing the wall with Mando pressing himself against your ass. He grabs a fist full of your hair, pushing your head into your pillow.
“If I’m being too rough, you need to tell me.” Mando lines himself up with your entrance and thrusts into you. His hand stays in your hair while the other one gathers your hands behind your back and he pushes you into the blanket while thrusting into you from behind. Your eyes roll to the back of your head from the sensation, you bite your pillow to muffle a rather loud moan.
“Finally, please, Mando. Please fuck me.” Tears that have formed in your eyes soak into the cloth of the blindfold while your drool soaks into your pillow as he thrusts violently into you again and again from behind.
“You’re so perfect, Gods, I’ve been thinking about this ever since you fixed that stupid fucking hyperdrive and your pretty nipples were pressed against your tight little undershirt.” he groans from behind you. You can’t formulate a single thought so you just moan and try to meet his thrusts to get as much contact as possible.
“You’re so greedy, you’ve come twice already in the past hour but it's just not enough, you want to go for a third?” Mando’s breathing heavily behind you and his grip on your hands tighten. You hum at the thought, you’d come as many times as he’d let you.
Mando flips you over roughly, your back hits the blanket, he lines himself up with your entrance quickly slamming into you again. He grabs your thighs and hikes them higher on his hips, changing the angle. You both groan at the feeling, he’s so deep inside you. The hand that's in your hair moves to your lower back to hold you up off the ground. You hear his other hand smack against the wall to brace himself. He smashes his lips against yours, you wrap both your hands around his neck and meet each of his thrusts. You lock your ankles behind his back and pray to the Gods he doesn’t drop you.
“Mando you feel so good.” You moan into his mouth and he takes the opportunity to lick into yours. You thought his fingers felt great hitting that spot inside you. His cock is brushing against the spot with every single stroke, you grind your hips down making the sensations amplify. Your clit drags ever so slightly over the skin of his groin.
“I can say the same about you Mesh’la, you’re so tight, you fit perfectly in my arms, your moans are driving me fucking insane.” You throw your head back at the sound of his deep voice, your cunt clenching around him as he continues to thrust into you effortlessly. You’re barely holding on, his warm hand on your back, his hips thrusting into you and his godsdamn voice it’s all too much. You let out another whine, Mando must be able to see how close you are.
“Not yet, don’t come yet. You wait until I tell you too, okay?” Mando’s voice is strained like he’s also trying to hold on.
“Okay.” Is all you’re able to choke out as you pant against the skin of his neck. You arch your back further and press into his chest as much as you can. Still meeting all of his thrusts with your hips.
“I’m gonna come soon, ner vencuy’ika , where should I?” Mando’s head is leaning on your shoulder now, the hand on your back is tightening and pressing you against him tighter than before. Your air severely limited by his deathgrip hold on you.
“Fuck, I’m safe, just come inside.” You moan as you feel your own climax approaching, you can’t hold on any longer.
“Mesh’la you can come now, come for me again.” Mando moans the words into your hair, you can tell he’s right there with you, barely hanging on. It’s as if his words open the floodgates and you throw back your head, moaning out his name as your walls spasms around his cock. His thrusts begin to slow, he bites into your shoulder and his cock pulses inside you as he lets out a loud groan. He holds you against him as both your orgasm washes over your respective bodies. You dig your fingers into his shoulders trying to catch your breath as his hold on you loosens. Mando slips out of you, maneuvering your body so he’s laying on his back with you laying on his chest. His chest rises and falls more evenly than your own and you try to match your breathing to his.
“Mando?” He hums in response, his hand rubbing its way up and down your back soothingly.
“What do those words mean?” He kisses the top of your head before replying.
“Ner vencuy’ika means my little blessing, Mesh’la means beautiful. They’re both Mando’a, terms of endearment I guess.” You try to hide the smile that breaks out across your face by burying your face into his chest.
***
Mando lays underneath you and caresses your back while you sleep. He’s hoping you won’t have a nightmare if he’s right here with you. You look so peaceful while you sleep and he knows you hardly ever do. It's strange, he’s never met another person who sleeps as little as he does until he met you. It's only been a few days but whenever he's up, you're up. He catches you taking small naps sometimes but you almost always wake up terrified and ready to fight.
Mando thinks back to what you guys did a few hours ago and a small smile tugs at his lips, he fucked you to sleep. If that’s what it takes, He’ll fuck you every single day, it’s only right if it puts you sleep, he’s willing to offer you his help from here on out. You stir slightly and his hand instinctively goes to your hair to soothe you back into rest. You settle against him quickly.
He sighs deeply and stares up at the pitch black ceiling of the hull, his mind wandering. He thinks about your past, at least what you were willing to offer to him. You seem so secretive about it, which he’ll respect because he’s secretive about his own. He can’t help but wonder what causes your nightmares, why are you so on edge? He thinks it must be something the Imps did to you, they must have messed you up pretty badly. His jaw clenches, just another reason to hate them more than he already did. His hand smooths down your hair, before it wanders to work small circles into the back of your neck.
He wonders what it would sound like for you to moan his name, his real name. He thinks back to the conversation from earlier while you both were eating. The way you seem so interested to learn more about his Mandalorian background, you were so polite with your questions, not trying to push him into telling you his name or show you his face. It seems like you respect his creed. Which makes him happy? He isn't sure, he's not used to feeling emotions outside of rage, hurt or lust. The kid makes him happy, you give him kind of the same feeling, sort of. It’s still different in a way he can’t explain.
You shoot up with a gasp holding onto your abdomen, Mando immediately thinks he hurt you earlier when you two fucked, he reaches out to help. You fall back against the blanket, and clutch at a spot on your sternum that isn't even bruised. Mando whispers your name to see if you’re awake. He shakes your shoulders lightly, worried you may be in another nightmare. Your hand grabs his and you groan against his forearm. He’s relieved you’re awake, he has no idea how to wake you from a nightmare without putting your body through more stress.
“Another bad dream?” He asks, nuzzling his face against your shoulder.
“All of my dreams are bad.” You groan, wrapping your arm around his back, digging your nails into his skin. He frowns into your neck, there goes his idea of fucking you soundly to sleep every day. Your hand moves to your face realizing the blindfold is still in place.
“I’m gonna go to the cockpit and check on the kid, make sure we're not barreling into an asteroid field or anything.” Your voice is hoarse, you reach out your hand to find Mando’s hair, your fingers rub his scalp and his body relaxes against you, enjoying the simple contact.
“You should try to get some sleep though. I’m sure you’re tired.” You continue and your hand moves to caress the side of Mando’s face before you stand up, trying to find your clothes in the dark hull.
“You can keep your helmet off. I'll stay in the cockpit until you come up and tell me otherwise.” You start to shuffle into refresher. Mando sighs, and turns over to the side you were laying on. His fingers glide over the blankets you were just laying on. You’re right he should get some sleep. He hears the refresher door open again, your silhouette slightly illuminated from the light, he watches as you stumble your way to the ladder. He knows you’re still wearing the blindfold as you curse and trip over his helmet, his chest tightens thinking that you care about him enough to make sure his creed isn’t broken. Once you’re in the cockpit he closes his eyes and gets comfortable on the floor, pulling your pillow to his chest as he dozes off.
***
You rub your face once you sit in the pilot’s chair, at some point your nightmares are going to kill you. You’re hoping that this wasn’t one where you talk out loud. You stare out the transparisteel, and think back to the nightmare. The way your body could still physically feel the pain of a lightsaber piercing your skin.
You shudder at the thought, breaking away once you hear that familiar cooing sound coming from behind you. You turn around, and give the child a big smile which he returns. He reaches his arms out to be picked up. You grab him and return back to the pilot’s seat. He brings a small silver ball into his grasp with telekinetic energy. You stare down at him and he looks at you expectantly, holding the ball to his small chest.
“So he was right, you are a Jedi, a youngling. Where did you come from?” You rub a finger across his head, and gasp when a picture of the burning Jedi temple on Coruscant flashes before your eyes and then a small room filled with Imperials, you can almost feel the needles being poked at you as if you’re really there in the room. A sense of fear and anger washes over you.
“The force is very strong with you little one. I’m so sorry you had to go through such hardships. Mando and I will keep you safe and protected now. You have my word.” The child presses himself into you further, cradling the ball to his chest. He’s back to his happy self, cooing at the ball and pulling on your hair every so often. You stay in the pilot’s chair and hold the kid while he plays, you continuously watch the nav deck and flight computer while the stars and planets pass by you. It’s been close to 4 hours when you finally hear the familiar footsteps coming up the ladder. Mando appears, helmet on and regular clothes back in place. He holds 3 ration packs again. You stand up, the baby starts flailing when he sees Mando and well you aren’t really sure if it’s because of Mando or the food.
He doesn’t say anything, he just holds his finger out for the kid to grab and puts two ration packs into your hand before turning and sitting in the same spot he sat last time. You press your back into his and open the ration pack for the kid. He rips into it like we’ve never fed him before.
“We’re still on pace for Cantonica, we should be there in about 2 days.” You finally take your first bite of food, not realizing how hungry you were until you actually start eating.
“That’s good, hopefully catching this bounty doesn’t take too long, bounties usually end up in Canto Bight once they’re done running. Decide they want to go out with a big bang instead.” you nod at his words.
“When we land can you give me a blaster? I’d like to have one, just in case.”
“Yes.” You eat the rest of your food in silence. The child starts to get fussy, Mando puts his helmet back on and turns to grab the child out of your arms. He calms down once he’s in Mando’s arms, he must have missed him. You smile at the thought of Mando being so gentle with the small child that’s now calm and happy in his arms.
You return back to the pilot's chair to check the nav deck for the 1000th time. After a few minutes Mando sits in the chair next to you, with a sleeping child in his arms. You both sit there quietly for a while. Mando stands to put the kid back into his pram, he closes the top and turns back around to sit in the chair to your right.
“Din.” You turn your head with a slight frown and your eyebrows furrow at the man sitting beside you.
“What?” You’re confused by the simple word he just said.
“Yesterday, you said you wanted to scream my name while I fucked you. Next time I fuck you. I want you to use my actual name. My name is Din, Din Djarin.” You can't help the smile that spreads across your face at his confession, Din, his name is Din.
#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#the mandalorian x reader#the mandalorian x you#pedro pascal character#arahxdjarin masterlist
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Battle of the Christmas Decorations
Pairing: Drew McIntyre x OC Rachael Word Count: 1,247 Description: Drew and Rachael have spent the last six years battling on who had the better decorations. This year however is different.
Last fic of 2021! Thank you all so much for reading my works this year, for your likes, comments and reblogs. It means the absolute world to me, I’m so excited for the works to come in 2022.
Special fic for my dear friend @new-zealand-chic she gifted me with a Damian Christmas one where she called me out more then once; (here) and I love it. Plus she is literally half the brains behind a lot of my fics turning out and some of the details so without her a lot of them probably wouldn’t have gotten finished. I love you! So happy holidays to all who celebrate and happy Friday to those who don’t. ___________ Tag list:
@hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @omg-im-such-a-masochist @sjwrites22 @sassymox @new-zealand-chic @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @thiccc-rider-mcintyre @melblacc @letsgivethisonemoreshot @alination @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 Drew tag list: @eddie-kingstons-wifey @akiko-tanaka
If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ___________
Setting another inflatable Santa in her cart, Rachael shuffles through the aisle.
“Rach I think you’ve got enough, we can’t fit anything else in this cart.”
Looking at her friend then the cart Rachael tilts her head.
“I know I can fit one more thing, I have to. Drew went shopping yesterday and bought a huge inflatable snow globe. It looks so cool I need to add more stuff I need to have the best looking Christmas house on the block.”
“You two are always trying to one-up the other and spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on decorations. Why?”
“I don’t know when he first moved in next door we were friendly until he decided to comment on my decorations or lack of. So, I went out later that week and went all out then I commented on his lack of decorations. I guess it just escalated from there and we’ve been doing it the last coming up to six years now.”
Rachael grabs a large Grinch and smiles nodding in satisfaction.
“Are you sure that there isn’t another reason why he’s feuding with you?”
Her friend asks as they finally head to the checkout and Rachael quickly shakes her head, setting everything up on the conveyor belt.
“Please please don’t start Jay, trust me it’s not what you’re thinking. Drew is absolutely gorgeous, too far out of my league.”
“Excuse you, Rachael! Drew would absolutely go for you. I don't even wanna hear that missy. You’re beautiful. So kind hearted, willing to help out anyone when you can. You are a gift to this world and that man would be lucky as hell to have you.”
“Okay okay sorry.”
Rachael says trying to get her friend to calm down, she didn’t want to get kicked out because of her friend’s loudness.
“Just trust me, we’re friendly neighbors and that’s it. Don’t get me wrong I would totally go for him he’s sex on legs, every person’s wet fantasy. But I’m pretty sure he’s already dating someone he goes out of town a lot for long periods of time. And sometimes a woman comes back with him.”
“Well, that sucks.”
She huffs as they watch the items scanned and placed back into their cart.
“Five fifty-two eighty-six.”
Wincing slightly Rachael slides her card and puts in her pin, if it wasn’t for her good-paying job, all the saving and investing she did there’d be no way she could do this. Taking her receipt the pair make their way out to Rachael’s rover and pack her stuff inside. Buckling up, the two women pull out of the parking lot and head first for J‘s house. Singing along to Christmas songs on the radio they dance in their seats.
“Take a picture once you get finished, I’d like to see how it looks and try not to buy anymore!”
Rachael laughs, honking as her friend leaves and sticks her head out the window.
“Tell Drew to stop trying to out decorate me.”
Waving Rachael drives the two miles back home and parks in her driveway, she didn’t see Drew’s car which meant she had time to quickly take everything inside. She’d put these new decorations up once night fell. Unlocking her door she leaves it open and hauls ass to get everything inside and in her dining room. She couldn’t wait to see Drew’s reaction in the morning when she went outside to get her mail.
“Last box.”
Hauling the large inflatable Santa inside Rachael locks her car and closes her door. She was thankful Christmas was tomorrow, Drew didn’t usually buy anymore decorations after the twenty third. So hopefully she would be done buying more as well.
Stretching her back out Rachael stands and heads upstairs changing into a pair of leggings and a Christmas sweater. Tying her hair into a bun she goes downstairs to do some baking and listening to Christmas music…
Tiptoeing outside a few hours later, Rachael starts setting up her new decorations. Night had fallen and Drew had gotten home about two hours ago. She knew that because he came in blasting music and being loud.
Trying to be as quiet as possible she continues working. It was hard in the dark with only her phone and by herself but she managed it. Plugging everything in she flicks the power switches on and watches in joy as everything lights up.
“It looks perfect.”
Taking a picture she sends it to J then hums quietly making her way back inside locking her house up. Sitting on the couch with her book Rachael sips her tea relaxing under the blanket.
*knock knock*
Looking up from her book Rachael marks her spot and makes her way to the front door. Peeking out the peephole she raises a brow unlocking the door.
“Good evening Drew.”
“Did you seriously buy more decorations?”
“Yes I did.”
“Wasn’t what you had enough?”
“It was until you bought more.”
“You didn’t need to buy more just because I did.”
“And you let you one up me I don’t think so.”
Drew looks at her and huffs motioning for her to step outside. Grabbing a coat she slips it on and goes out gasping as she sees a large inflatable reindeer in his front yard.
“That thing looks bigger then your house, why is the head and neck flopped over?”
“Because it‘s apparently defective, I just spent nearly five hundred dollars on that stupid thing.”
“Why’d you buy it?”
“Because you bought more today. I saw everything when I took my trash out.”
“Okay? Still doesn’t explain.”
“I couldn’t just let you win! Don’t you get it lass, Drew McIntyre doesn’t enjoy losing especially when it comes to Christmas stuff.”
“Well it looks like you lost this year.”
Rachael smirks and holds her hand out.
“You know what that means, pay up.”
Drew grumbles kicking the snow at his feet like a small child.
“I didn’t think I was going to lose this year so I haven’t even made any cookies.”
Sighing Rachael shifts on her feet.
“Well I made some, so why don’t you come over and we can both have some.”
“I would absolutely love that.”
Together they make their way back inside Rachael’s house and she goes into the kitchen. Trying not to freak out over the fact that Drew was really here in her house.
“So since you don’t have any cookies what’s my prize this year?”
She asks, glancing over her shoulder.
“I have a few ideas.”
He mumbles quietly causing her to turn around.
“You have some ideas?”
Watching him look at her in slight panic, he clears his throat giving an awkward laugh.
“Actually you weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“Too late I already did what ideas?”
“Well considering I think you’re the most stunning lass I’ve ever seen there’s a simple kiss, asking you out on a date. Or um skipping all that and rewarding you with my head between your legs.”
Rachael stares at Drew completely shocked, she couldn’t deny the shot of arousal that hit her core. Licking her lips she slowly walks over to Drew and looks up at him.
“How about all three?”
She whispers and motions upwards to a sprig of mistletoe she had hanging. Drew looks up then back at her, a smirk crossing his face.
“I think two out of three tonight sounds pretty good.”
He pulls her close sealing his words with a kiss.
#wwe#drew mcintyre#drew mcintyre one shot#drew mcintyre x oc rachael#fluff#like tooth rotting fluff#drew mcintyre fanfiction
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little one - dr3 & original female character
disclaimers: first published risque fic, read at your own discretion -
explicit, but not too explicit just yet, lemme explain: i’ve been going back and forth those
4k and a lil’ something words for a couple days now, i needed to put this out there before continuing to get more invested and trashing the entire thing.
so any feedback is much appreciated (dms always open, this a 24/7 operation).
contains original named female character because i can’t write in second person to save my life.
also, nothing is capitalized. and this has not been proof-read, beta’d or anything else that writers do
hope you enjoy!
here was a beach party, one of many. endless amounts of alcohol, music so loud ella could barely hear herself think -not that there was any reason to think, actually. there were people dancing the night away, drink in hand and she’d be doing just the same for the past few hours. the crowd was wild, but her friend group was even wilder, and that’s all she needed to have a good time; be surrounded by her loved, laughing idiots, doing their silly dances and dragging her along to whatever came to their mind.
it had been the perfect winter break. or summer break, considering she was in australia of all places to spend christmas.
she’d been through a tough couple of years, and taking a couple months just for herself turned out to be exactly what the doctor ordered. or fate, if you believe in that shit. but finding cheap tickets to australia, deciding to turn her winter into summer, without a clue of what to do and where to stay aside from a cheap hostel she booked was easily the craziest thing she’d ever done. but also perhaps the best.
the past few weeks had been a journey, to say the least. one minute she was taking a walk on the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the sand under her feet, and the other she was making friends with what she’d call -affectionately, later on- adrenaline junkies. those guys were doing motor cross, riding bikes on platforms, bungee jumping, those high trampolines that they harness you in -and not in a kinky way, as one of the group didn’t fail to comment- driving cars at ridiculous ‘circuits’, on and off road. and it was mandatory she tagged along, if not participate. and she did.
ella came to know all of them and despite being the youngest and least experienced -in any aspect of what her vacation entailed, as it turned out- they never made her feel left out, not for a second. there was always something for her to do, like shoot the videos they liked to immortalise those near death experiences with. and it didn’t take too long or too much for her to feel comfortable, like she’d known them forever.
except for one of the three: daniel. he was a tough one to get through. friendly, accommodating, sure, but he had those walls that just made feel something just a bit off.
it was only natural to be guarded around new people, if anyone knew it, it was her. the new girl, who knew no one and could be murdered in the next minute for all she knew. but after countless experiences and long talks around a bonfire, without even realising it, she was sharing her whole life’s story. and daniel was still guarded.
it took a few inside jokes and a bit more of rubbing off on him, but ella managed to see a couple chips in his armour. she didn’t pry, but he started sharing more, about his fears for the season to come and his hopes for his break, his career (even though she knew next to nothing about it), and sometimes, even his personal life. and those were the moments she found she cherished the most, just as much as the ones where she overcame her fears of heights, spiders, the death looming in the australian waters and the list goes on and on.
her short trip down memory lane left a smile on her drunkenly blushed face, eyes fixed on the stars, thanking them for her luck. but it ended abruptly, when a hand wrapped around her arm and yanked her to the side.
“whatcha thinking, little one?” male voice, distinct australian accent, close to her ear. close enough to raise goosebumps on her skin. it was daniel. he was there from her day one, and insisted on calling her little one, ignoring her annoyance and complaints. at mid twenties, she was many things, little wasn’t one of them.
“trying to think of ways to get you to call me by my actual name for once.” she retorted, mimicking his wide smile. she couldn’t help it, it was contagious.
“not gonna happen. now come dance, break time’s over!” and with that he yanked her again, bringing her closer to him and swayed her in his rhythm. they stayed like that for a couple songs, arms flying in the air, hips and feet having a mind of their own.
“you’re an appalling dancer, little one” daniel commented after getting closer to her yet again, bringing those almost goosebumps over her.
“you’re one to talk. grandpa.”
“for you, it’s daddy.” his voice was serious, but an all too well known glint in his eye gave him away, and the girl broke out in laughter, not bothering to try and hold it in.
daniel was always trying to get a rise out of her, but always failed. while that would deter most, it only made him even more stubborn and hellbent on getting his way, get her to crack, leave her shocked.
that’s how ‘little one’ originated. it was the first time ella showed any sign of annoyance, when he insisted on the nickname. but as soon as she saw how rewarding it was for him to let him get under her skin, she started ignoring it, until it became a norm for her to just reply to ‘little one’. and that was a strategy she enforced on anything else he tried, since it proved to have the opposite results: instead of ella being annoyed, dan took over that role, and she understood just how rewarding it was, taking every bit of pleasure at his failed attempts.
“hey! what are you two lovebirds doing all by yourselves? mike is doing a handstand, we need our camerawoman!”
that was theo, calling them over to join the rest of the group. they had only strayed about five feet away, but apparently that was enough to make them ‘lovebirds’. shaking her head and still laughing, ella went over, sure that daniel would follow. she taking her phone out of her pocket and started to film a very drunk mike, who could barely walk a straight line on his feet, try to do so on his hands.
losing track of time and drinks was extremely easy, so there was no way to tell when exactly she found herself on the edge of their group, next to daniel, taking a break and just watching, taking everything in. ella found herself staring at the man next to her, who was fascinated by his friends’ attempt at dancing and flirting with a couple girls nearby. their communication was almost like watching a nature documentary, but instead of wildlife, there they were: drunk aussie men in their natural habitat, performing their mating call.
daniel was watching them with a keen expression, not daring to take his eyes off the night’s main attraction and source of entertainment. he was focused, eyebrows furrowed and lips just a bit pursed.
“god, i wanna sit on your face.” ella muttered, and her eyes went wide immediately, as she realised that that was said out loud. she didn’t even know where that thought came from, much less how it came to escape her lips, but it happened. in her panic, she froze, hoping, praying that daniel hadn’t heard that.
“what was that, little one?” he swayed a bit to his right, lowering his head so he could hear what she said next. but this time, she didn’t know what she was supposed to say next. ella took a moment to think, eyes averted to the sea, away from him, and swallowed hard, taking a sip from her drink, trying to buy more time.
“i said, wanna go to the sea.” and hopefully her lie would be convincing.
“silly, we are at the sea.”
“no, like, inside. i want to go for a swim, it’s way too hot here.”
“hey boys!” he raised his voice to get the attention of the rest. “little one wants to go for a swim, anyone in?”
“i’d rather not get eaten by a shark just before new years, thanks.” theo replied and looked over to mike, who could just shake his head no. which was for the best, considering the alcohol in his system.
“chickens!” ella shouted and put her hair up in a quick bun, and then took off her tank top and shorts, leaving her in her swimming suit. sure, it was hot, but the water was most likely cold and she’d need something dry to change into. without any delay, she started sprinting across the sand and into the sea. the water wasn’t cold at all. it was exactly what she needed to cool off without actually being cold. her back was to the shore, but after a couple swings of her arms to get her just a bit deeper, she turned around and found daniel making his way to the water.
“if you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was ask.” he winked and despite herself, ella felt another blush creeping up her cheeks, which was hopefully concealed by the darkness, away from the beach bar’s lights.
“you didn’t have to come in.”
“what kind of responsible adult would i be if i left little ones unsupervised?”
“you. responsible. that’s a good one, ricciardo.”
“rich, coming from the girl who dropped everything just to spend her winter with me.”
“oh shoot, you saw right through me. i’ve been stalking you for years, just trying to get close enough to breathe the same air as the mighty f1 driver, danny ric.”
“and get in my pants, let’s not leave the important bits out.”
“only you’d refer to your… ahem… bits, as important.”
“low blow, little one.” he tried his best to be serious about it, try to seem offended, but his smile was reaching his eyes. his large hand went against the water and splashed ella’s face.
“if you get my hair wet, i swear to go-”
“oh little one doesn’t want to get her hair wet? such a shame!”
with just one swift movement, his arms found her legs underneath the water and picked her up, trying to drop her to sink just a moment later.
ella was too fast though, wrapping her arms around his neck immediately, dragging him to sink beneath the surface with her.
their impromptu dive didn’t last for more than a few seconds, but it was more than enough to feel his body heat and enjoy it. her chest was pressed against his and his arms were still under her legs, holding her tight.
daniel pulled them up, still holding her and they found themselves locked. they breathed in at the same time and their eyes met, keeping them there for what could have been from milliseconds to a decade.
ella’s drunken haze didn’t allow for much other than getting lost in his honey brown eyes and loosening her grip on his neck, leaving one hand almost limp on his shoulder, the other reaching down just barely to rest on his chest. his warmth just felt too nice to give up and the way he looked at her was borderline hypnotising.
in whatever time they stayed like that, her foggy brain decided to play a funny little trick on her, reminding her of what she’d said earlier. about wanting to sit on his face. and before she could even begin to feel embarrassed about it, her mind flooded with images of how his eyes would look at her from between her legs, how his hands would feel against her thighs, something she was getting a pretty good taste of that moment, if only he would go just a bit higher-
“you can let go you know.” daniel rudely interrupted her thoughts, but tightened his grip on her.
“i’m not the one holding you.” her voice came as a croaked whisper.
“right.” he matched her tone and she felt his breath on her face. he smelled of rum and fruits. and he was still keeping her gaze, not letting go in more ways than she cared to count.
“we should be getting back, the others-”
“might be dead or missing, you’re right.” and slowly, with light movements let her down. but not before she could feel his chest vibrate with his chuckle.
hoping that her legs would take her to the short distance to the shore without trembling, ella started making her way out of the water.
she didn’t look back, even though it was weird not to, for some reason it just felt weird. but perhaps it was for the best that she didn’t. otherwise, she would’ve seen daniel practically ogling at her as she walked, each step revealing more of her waist, her legs, and well… her ass.
these past few weeks had not been easy on him. he was looking forward to coming back to what he knew, his family, his friends, his home. and before he managed to get his feel and go back to monaco, his strict regime and his life as a driver and not just daniel, she came along.
his friends decided to pick up the stray they found on the beach and bring her into their lives, and the rest was history. he was annoyed, of course he was. she was invading his vacation, his time off. he tried his best to not let anyone in on his disappointment, still tagging along, trying to make ella feel included. and that’s where he went wrong, apparently.
all it took was a few jokes, some talks over a couple of beers and he found himself giving just parts of him away to her. it wasn’t a conscious decision by any means. he just ran his mouth before he could stop it and then it was too late. and he knew it was too late because nothing happened. there was no pity, sympathy, no special treatment. they just went on, like it never happened.
she wasn’t entranced by the glitz and glamour of his life and job, and that was a relief from the get go. while there was no issue introducing himself to people who didn’t know him -much less perceive him as a celebrity- it was tiring to see them become entirely different people as soon as they found out about his job description. suddenly, they were all nicer, thinking they could get something from him, no matter how big or small.
but that wasn’t ella. even when he gave her bits and pieces of his personality, of his true self, she still remained the same. nothing seemed to rattle her and that had him sold. hooked. and that hadn’t happened in a hot minute, so it was a lot to take in, feeling normal again. while she’d disrupted everything, she managed to make home feel like home again.
so then, daniel had the time and energy to take in the little things around him: how her eyes lit up when she was interested in something, the way she laughed when he joked with her, the feeling of her hand in his when he helped her on a hike that one time. and now, in his tipsy state, her figure. and he couldn’t, he didn’t want to take his eyes off. he should, he absolutely most certainly should. giving himself a mental slap on the face, daniel managed to snap out of it and follow the girl out of the sea and back to the bar, hoping to rejoin their friends.
see? their friends. they were his friends. but now she was there as well. but the worst part weren’t the possessive pronouns or any other grammatical mishaps. the worst part was that even more than hoping that he’d find mike and theo, was that he was hoping they’d fucked off by now, and he’d get some more time with ella.
the thought scared him a bit, but also he had seen it coming, in a way. and if he hadn’t before, the way she felt in his arms just a minute before was a dead giveaway.
but as the night would have it, that was probably the only conscious thought he’d make come sunrise. as soon as he found himself closer to her, without bothering to dry himself off, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, bringing their bodies disgustingly close. close enough that he could feel the curve of her back against him. and she could probably feel the semi he’d been sporting -and trying to repress- for the past few minutes.
“i’m going to kill you.” she hissed at him, turning to look at him, locking his eyes with hers to underline the severity of her words, which were only met with laughter, pissing her off even further.
she’d managed to actually keep her clothes dry, but of course the one and only daniel ricciardo had to screw that up for her, leaving her to air dry for the rest of the night. first her hair, now her clothes. she’d be going back home with a cold and a stuffed nose on a 24 hour flight was not a joke.
struggling to get out of his tight embrace, ella immediately turned around ready to scold him. he had fucked up and he was going to have a piece of her mind whether he liked it or not. the moment her eyes caught the glint in his though, she was running her mouth again.
“was that the only way you could get me wet, ricciardo?”
“don’t test me, little one.” he seemed… serious? was that an actual daniel ricciardo mode? she wasn’t sure if she liked it, so changing the subject was the only alternative.
“have you seen theo and mike?”
“nope.” he couldn’t say if he was happy or disappointed that their little ruse was cut short. he pulled out his phone, see if he had any texts or calls while they were gone, any sign that the rest of their group wasn’t dead in a ditch. and by the gods, there was. from theo.
‘mating dance worked. see ya in the morning’
“i’ll be damned. their mating dance worked” he said loud enough for ella to hear. her shocked expression was priceless.
“absolutely no way. there’s no way that worked. it looked fucking ridiculous!”
“i know right?!” he laughed, a small counter of all the times they’ve failed to bring someone back to their place playing in his head.
he signed to ella that he was going to get drinks, expecting her to stay put. the last thing he needed was for her to run off to god knows where with god knows who- jesus he sounded like his mother. shaking the mental image from his head, he made his way back with a couple intricate, tropical cocktails, thankfully, finding ella where he left her.
as he handed her her drink, he used his newly free hand to grab hers, twirling her and bringing her close enough so that they could hear each other. except he was met with less resistance than anticipated, so the strength he put in pulling her close, found them with their faces only an inch or two apart.
“and now, i have you all to myself.” a mischievous grin laced his lips.
“oh no, should i be scared, mr ricciardo?” eyes went wide, lips puckered and brow furrowed, feigning confusion.
“we’ve been over this, little one. for you, it’s daddy.”
once was a joke. twice is not a coincidence. he’s doing this on purpose. he’s riling her up only to bring her back down and finally get what he always wanted: bragging rights the he got under her skin. she heard his friends say he wasn’t a clean player, she didn’t imagine him ever fighting this dirty.
unless, he heard her earlier, when she said the thing about… the thing, anyway. she wasn’t about to repeat it. not even in her head. the images that came the last time she thought about it taught her a valuable lesson: she was a visual thinker, and she wasn’t about to have a repeat of how he’d look with her hands lost in his curls, eyes travelling from her own to the rest of her body, hands exploring every inch they can reach- and there she was, doing it again after all. ella had to physically shake her head to try and dismiss the thoughts, but even that didn’t do the trick for the images still swirling around, unbothered.
“fuck me.” she scoffed to no one in particular, a bitter, tired smile framing her mouth, taking a large sip of her drink, downing almost half of it in one go. she welcomed the burning alcohol and the buzzing sensation like an old friend.
“you wish.”
“yeah.” ella wasted no time in putting a hand over her mouth, staring at dan with eyes open in horror. “that’s not what-” she tried to save it, say that it wasn’t what she meant, she was thinking about something else and then- he cut her off. at first, he lowered his head and her breath hitched in her throat. then he moved away from her face and she could breathe again, but only until she felt his lips on her ear and heard him speak.
“or… you can sit on my face.” she contemplated on whether she should plead the fifth, deny all charges and any other legal terminologies she could think of would help. ella though was a terrible liar, and when faced with such an outright statement that made her entire face burn with what she could only interpret as embarrassment, she could find no way around it. except for changing the subject. again. her speciality.
“do you think that’s the line theo and mike used to get those girls to go home with them?” hopefully, steering the conversation back to their friends. smooth ella, smooth.
“they said it was their mating dance.” he shrugged it off and took a small step back. she should be relieved, it worked! but she wasn’t… she felt… disappointed?
her feelings were evident on her face and daniel didn’t miss a beat.
“oh come on little one, i’m sure we can have fun just the two of us.” there was a hint of playfulness in his voice, but just a bit, so easy to miss. but ella, who’d been hanging on to his every word, didn’t miss it. and when he used his hooked index to tilt her chin up, have her look at him, that was hard to miss as well. “am i making you nervous, little one?”
and there he was. turns out all it took was a couple innuendos, and he had ella all flustered and trying to keep it together. it did take him a bit longer than he would have liked, but now he could die a happy man. daniel could barely contain a grin from spreading on his face, and he wasn’t doing the best job either.
“no.” she kept a straight face.
“don’t lie to me.”
“am not.”
“are so.”
“i’m not doing this.”
“and what are you doing then?”
“you, if you’re up for it.” alcohol had the final say in the words that just ran from her mouth. her brain was frozen, useless anyway. and when it came to, all she could think was, tit for tat, right?
it was safe to assume that under normal circumstances, she’d never let things get this far. but it was also safe to assume that nothing about that night had been in the realm of normal.
ella couldn’t quite point out the tipping point, what clicked and the scales sided to this result. she’d be blind and an outright liar if she said that daniel wasn’t attractive. but so were so many other people, she didn’t go up offering herself like today’s deal. but still, hidden between the lines of poking fun and getting under the other’s skin, there was a sliver of seriousness that had been building up, alongside the tension, making all jokes just a bit less funny. only just.
she’d blame it all on the alcohol, and that would be true. but only in part. the other part she didn’t dare to admit, even to herself. up until that very moment; up until the moment that daniel, still holding her face in place reached down and kissed her.
he’d blame it all on the alcohol, and that would be true. but only in part. the other part, he didn’t dare to admit, even to himself. up until that very moment; up until the moment that ella, still having her eyes fixed on his gave him the green light.
he might have misread the signs, if there were ever any. if there was a slap coming his way, he was probably ready to accept and respect it. probably. but if it never came, gods, his mind was racing with everything he wanted to do.
daniel’s fascination with ella had been growing with each passing day they spent together. ever since that day she made her presence from a nuisance to familiarity, it all started to change. slowly but surely, along with letting her see him, he was seeing her as well. and while they’d only scratched each other’s surface, for him that was enough. she was enough. this was enough. if only she didn’t leave him wanting more.
all he’d done was lean in and place his lips on hers, unsure of whether that was the right call or not. his body took over and he barely managed to keep it together, civil, if you will. if he didn’t manage to reign himself in at the very last nanosecond, they wouldn’t be sharing a soft, chaste even, kiss. he’d be picking her up, finding the nearest wall to support her and with his hands still digging into the flesh of her thighs, he’d be attacking her; lips would suck, teeth would bite, tongue would trace her lips, her jawline, her neck, reaching down to her collar bone, her chest-
time was frozen when their lips touched, they were frozen; the only thing that was moving were the images of what he’d do running through his head. until ella moved. he felt her arms wrap around his neck and a small moan escape her. and then his body was back in motion, his mind finally silent after what seemed like an eternity, as did the next few seconds? minutes? he couldn’t tell.
all daniel knew was that he did find himself picking her up, lips still locked in a kiss that was heating up by the moment. chastity be damned, there was nothing holding him back. before he knew it, he had her back pressed against a wall, hands roaming on her thighs, gripping, caressing and gripping again, mouth devouring her lips, her skin, anywhere he could reach.
and there was no sign of ella stopping him. if anything, she was matching daniel. her own hands were tracing his neck, fingers curling in his hair, lips open to welcome his. and when he’d pull back and make his way down the side of her neck, nibbling and biting along the way to her collarbone, her lips would still be busy, latched on to his skin in return, tasting the salt from the ocean.
she could feel his erection pressing against her and after a while, she couldn’t ignore it anymore. testing the waters, she stopped holding on to him, running her hands down his back, on his waist, and once she deemed it secure enough, she brought one arm in between them, caressing his chest, riding down lower slowly, but surely, across his stomach and gave a tracing of his hand, reaching to her own thigh. and then, once she was certain that they could take it, her hand reached back out again, the only thing between their bodies, and found his cock, dedicating the same attention she’d given the rest of his body that she could reach; light touches, perhaps some pressure here and there and intricate patterns with her fingers.
daniel sucked in his breath. “don’t-” he finally broke the silence that was only filled with sighs up until then.
“why?” she didn’t stop.
“not here. not now.” she kept going. “you’ll be the death of me.” he muttered and his lips attacked hers again. ella smiled through the kiss, hand still occupied, levering in the effect she had on him. deciding to amp things up, she broke their kiss, reaching down for his neck, looking for that spot that would make him groan.
“fuck…” and bingo. “that’s it, we’re leaving.”
and suddenly, ella’s feet were touching the ground and she heard the distinct sound of keys jiggling.
“are you okay to drive?” she asked, suddenly feeling a bit more responsible.
“never been more sober.”
#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo smut#f1#f1 smut#daniel ricciardo imagine#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#smut#daniel ricciardo one shot#i mean it's more of a two shot at this point#or perhaps the start of a series?#idek at this point#WHEN I SAY FEEDBACK IS WELCOME#CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM IS INCLUDED#little one
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Merciless
Pairing: Asshole Ex-Boyfriend!Chris Evans x Reader
Request: Could I have a part 2 to Insensitive were the reader comes back and she’s a bad bleep?
Summary: A couple months after their breakup, Y/N has changed since the last time Chris saw her.
Word Count: 1.3K
Warnings: mentions of previous cheating, alcohol, cussing, mentions of sex, and badass reader aka justice lol I don't know
A/N: Hello! Thank you @vanillabqrnes for the request apologies for this taking forever and I hope you like this! Also sorry to those who follow me, I promised to write more and that didn’t happen, but here’s something lol. Whenever I wanna write I open my computer and then bam writers block. Also please don’t mind any minor mistakes this is unedited. Anyways hope you enjoy and I’ll meet with you at the end of the fic ; )
Previous Part
It had been six months since your breakup with Chris and honestly you were doing great. I mean at first after all the rage you remembered the good memories from your relationship. While recalling those “good”memories you realized that four months prior to you finding out he cheated that he had been acting strange and distant. But you’ve moved on and could care less about that asshat.
You quickly moved on and actually you’ve completely changed your mentality when it comes to relationships. You have started to become more comfortable with yourself and not let anyone walk over you. Your closest friends have noticed your change in demeanor and they love it. They have literally called you a badass heartbreaker, solely because you have turned down almost every guy who reminded you of your asshole ex-boyfriend.
With your new look and attitude you were able to find the perfect match for you. You met your boyfriend, Henry *cough Henry Cavill cough*, at a party hosted by a mutual friend. The two of you were trying to avoid the crowd which didn’t help since the two of you were seated at the bar. You both had people flock towards you offering to buy drinks, which you both rejected. The two of you noticed one another when a woman asked Henry for his number, he declined, then she started flirting with you. You shook your head and scoffed, turning her down as you stood from your seat. You walked closer to the man taking a seat right next to him. After that the two of you had a pleasant conversation about who had the most people to hit on them, you won, and then the rest is history.
Your new relationship was completely different from your previous one. Henry adores you, treating you way better than you know who ever did. Also lets just say the sex was clearly better and you learned new things about yourself with your boyfriend. You never really got to explore that side of you when you were with Chris. He would be the one to take charge and never let you try something new.
Anyways you and Henry were actually going to lunch at one of your favorite fancy restaurants. Opting to sit near the open glass window you ordered your food. You didn’t give a fuck how these rich people were staring at you because you were wearing. You wore a long leather coat showing the right amount of cleavage and thigh high black boots. Henry wore a white button up shirt that clung to his muscles and dark blue dress pants. You laughed at a joke that Henry made, you glanced out the window and your eyes widened. Henry looked outside and he felt his blood start to boil.
*Chris’ POV*
After the break up the infamous Chris Evans was having a slightly rough time. He still didn’t understand what he did wrong. Then about a few months later Brittany, his second girlfriend while dating you, dumped Chris because she apparently found a better, richer man. Chris had been miserable in his house ever since. He thought about calling you after his break up with Brittany, but then he thought a grand gesture would be better. So he ordered the most expensive bouquet of roses and had them delivered to your house.
A letter was immediately sent back saying that you had moved out of your small apartment, but the man who lived there kept the expensive flowers. Chris yelled out in frustration which startled his maid. She tried to comfort him telling him what he wanted to hear, that you would eventually come back to him, but deep down she knew that what she said was a lie. She knew about what her boss had been doing, but Chris offered to pay her to keep quiet.
Chris never stopped thinking about you. He would walk by your old apartment, sometimes even drunk. The man who lived there always saw him through his window feeling a bit bad for Chris, but assuming he probably deserved the heartbreak. As more months passed Chris decided that drinking would help numb the pain. It didn’t, drinking honestly made him think about you even more. Thoughts and images of you flooded his head and he didn’t know if he wanted them to stop or continue.
Chris decided that going out with other women would help, the break up messed his game. He would accidentally call his new girlfriends your name and some would stare at him with a blank face and the rest would ignore it. Eventually he found a woman who resembled you to the tee. The two of them were together for a while and Chris was kind for getting tired of her because she wasn’t you. He decided to go to a fancy restaurant to make reservations for their most elegant seating to break her heart. That’s when he saw you through the window with a man.
----------------------------
Henry looks back at you, “Is that?” You nodded your head and stood up from your seat. “Be nice.” he huffed as he remained in his seat unfolding the napkin on the table and placing it on his lap.
You stormed out of the restaurant stopping Chris from entering. Chris was shocked by how you dressed, he never saw you dress like that before. You saw Chris eye your entire body looking from your head to toes stopping at your chest.
“What do you want?” you harshly said crossing your arms over each other.
“Obviously, I’m here to make a reservation.” he snarkily replied. “How was I supposed to know you would be here?”
“Bitch, I don’t know?!” you exclaimed. “It’s not like this is my favorite restaurant.”
“Again, how was I supposed to know that?” Chris angrily replied.
“Seriously?!” you huffed. “You’re still a dick you know that?”
“So what? You gonna teach me a lesson?” he flirtatiously said.
“God, you’re disgusting.” saying as you turned away from him.
“Wait,” he stopped you, grabbing your arm and pointing to the window, “who’s that you’re with?”
Snatching your arm back from him. “That is my boyfriend, no begone.” you said shooing him away not caring about the people who were staring.
“Boyfriend? I bet he doesn’t treat you as well as I did.” he says c, crossing his arms. You slapped his face hard and shook your head.
“Oh, you're one to talk.” you yelled back at him. “You never changed, did you? You’re still an asshole prick that just wants a nice woman by his side to make him feel better about himself.”
“That’s not true!” he exclaimed.
“Oh really? Then tell me the real reason why you’re here?” you questioned looking at the man.
“As a matter of fact I’m taking my girlfriend here.” he replied with a smirk.
“Yeah, to break up with her?” you asked, shaking your head.
“How’d you know that?” He placed his hands on his hips.
“Because that’s what you did to the girl you dated before me, asshole.” you exclaimed.
“Well, why not after I break up with my current girl, you and I find a nice place to properly talk.” he smirked at you.
You walked closer to him and he smiled as he felt your chest against his. He looked down at your cleavage and back up to your face smiling even more. You put your hand on his shoulder smiling at him and that’s when you kneed him in the crotch.
“Go find someone else to feed your ego. I’m busy.” you said as you walked back to the restaurant and your boyfriend.
As you sat down on your seat, your boyfriend placed a kiss on your cheek. “Were you nice?” he asked, taking a sip of his wine.
“I tried to be.” you huffed as you looked out the window staring at your ex who laid on the ground in pain.
“Well, looks like I need to teach you some manners then.” he smirked.
“You sure do.” you smiled, winking back at him.
A/N: Ahhh hello!! How was that? I feel like this wasn’t my best but at the same time not bad. lol I literally have no clue how to write a bad bitch reader (because i ain’t one), but hopefully I did this request justice! Thank you for reading and lemme know what you though of this. Feedback is very much appreciated and lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my stuff!
Taglist: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @saiyanprincessswanie @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote
^^please lemme know if you wanna be added/removed for future tags or dm me if I forgot you^^
#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x reader#reader x chris evans#chris x reader#reader x chris#asshole evans au#reader insert
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Alpha Omega
Pairings: Colson x Reader
Warnings/Tags: alcohol, drunk, attempted rape (colson saves you before ANYTHING happens), potentially triggering dialogue about it the next morning, strangers to friends to lovers, smut, squirting 💦
A/N: Inspired by a weird dream I had and a real tweet I read, the person Jake in the fic was actually Jake Paul in my dream (ew). If you think the beginning backstory may trigger you and just want to read their friendship turn to lovers/smut, then scroll to the 2ND time skip marked with stars (***)
College mid-terms were finally over, which meant the same thing every year: the Alpha Omega annual fraternity party! It was the biggest party on campus every year, and even though it’s not really your scene, you decided to attend this year. Maybe it was the stress of mid-terms weighing extra heavy on your mind, but you needed an escape. But now, five full drinks and some shots later, you find yourself stumbling around the drink and keg area in the kitchen with a half-empty red solo cup, wondering how the hell you're supposed to find your way back to your dorm to sleep off what was obviously a very poor decision.
“Hey pretty thing,” you hear, suddenly feeling an arm slink around your waist.
“Do I know you?” you ask, disoriented and confused as your eyes try to focus on the face of the person touching you.
“The name’s Jake,” he shouts over the music, guiding you out of the kitchen and into the main party room. “You should come back to my room, you look like you need to lay down,” he says with ill-intent, but you’re too intoxicated to argue, letting him lead you up the stairs.
Even though most of your senses are impaired right now, you can’t mistake the distinct, pungent smell of weed wafting towards you as Jake escorts you down the hall once the two of you reach the top of the stairs.
“Yo, Jake!” a voice shouts from an open door, smoke billowing out as you pass.
“Hey Cols, what’s up?”
“Nothing much, man,” he says, blowing a smoke ring as he passes the blunt to his roommate Pete. “Wanna hit?”
“Maybe later, gotta get this pretty little thing back to room,” Jake answers.
“Aye, she alright? Colson questions, quickly rising to his feet.
“Yeah, pal she don’t look too good,” Pete coughs.
“Nah, man, that’s fucked up. She’s gooone!” Colson says getting a closer look at you. ‘You can’t talk her back to your room like this. That’s just wrong.”
“The fuck I can!” Jake retorts. “Look,” he says turning to you and lifting your slumped head. “You wanna go to my room with me don’t you, sexy?”
“N-nno” You slur, drunkenly shaking your head ‘Yes’
“See, she shook her ‘yes’,” Jake argues.
“Yeah, and her mouth said fuckin’ NO, Dawg!” Colson snaps back.
“Listen, I’m taking her to my room and there ain’t shit you can do about it!”
“The fuck there is!” Colson swings, his closed fist making contact with the side of Jake’s face, knocking him out cold.
***************************
The next thing you know you’re opening your eyes; an unfamiliar room and bed coming into view. You slowly sit up holding your throbbing head
“Hey, you’re awake,” says a soft voice to your right. Quickly, you turn your head in a panic to see a tall blonde sitting on the edge of the bed.
“W-who are you? Where.. Where am I?” you ask on the verge of tears.
“My name's Colson,” he reaches out for your hand. “I —”
“Don’t touch me!” You yell, scooting backwards pulling the covers up over you when you realize all you’re wearing is a thin, white, mens t-shirt. “Where are my clothes?”
“Aye, yo, it’s not like that. Relax, listen,” he stands with his hands up backing away from you. “I slept on the couch, I just wanted —”
“Where are my clothes!?” you demand.
“You threw up on them,” he answers.
“So lemme get this right … I threw up and you took off my clo —”
“NO! No! God no!” he says waving his arms. “My roommate Pete —”
“So your roommate Pete took off my clothes…?”
“NOOO! Please, just listen. I swear I was just trying to help you and keep you safe.” The desperation in his voice causes you to let down your guard a little. “I was saying, my roommate Pete. His girl. She stayed over last night and I asked her to help get you cleaned up and changed. I saw nothing I swear,” he puts his hands up again.
You sit there in silence, confused, trying to process everything he just said.
“You really don’t remember anything from last night? Do you?” He asks, stepping slowly back towards the bed.”
“No,” you shake your head, disappointed in yourself.
He cautiously begins to sit back down on the edge of the bed then pauses “Can I?”
You nod ‘yes’ and he takes a seat.
“Yo, you were in really rough shape last night. I’m assuming you had too much to drink?”
“Yeah,” you admit looking ashamed.
“Aye, we’ve all been there. I’m just glad you’re ok,” he smiles. “Me and my homie Pete were just up here smoking when we seen some dude we know trying to take you back to his room. I could tell you were wrecked. Fuck, you where barely conscious. I tried to tell him how wrong that was but he wouldn’t listen so I knocked him the fuck out. I didn’t know where your dorm was or if you came to the party with anyone and I wanted to make sure you had a safe place to sleep it off.”
“ Thank you. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” you apologize.
“Nah I completely understand,” he accepts your apology. ‘That’s why I wanted to be here when you woke up, I figured you might be a little confused.”
“More than a little,” you let out a small laugh.
Colson cracks a smile, then heads to his dresser, pulling out a pair of his athletic shorts. “Here, tell you what,” he says, tossing the shorts on the bed. “ Imma head out there —” he points to the door. Let you get dressed and I’ll drive you back to your dorm. Cool?”
“Cool,” you answer with a thumbs up and a smile as he steps out the room, closing the door behind him.
*******************
“Seriously, thank you so much,” you say when he pulls up to your dorm.”What can I do for you? I feel like I can’t thank you enough.”
“Nothing. Any respectable man would have done the same thing,” he says.”I can only hope that one day if god forbid my daughter even finds herself in that position that someone would do the same for her.”
“Awww, you have a daughter?”
“Yeah,” he smiles like a proud father, lifting his backside from the drivers seat to pull out his wallet. “Her name’s Casie,” he says opening to her picture.
“She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” he says, then tucking his wallet back into his pocket. “She lives with her mom but I still see her all the time.”
“I’m glad. You seem like you’d be a great father.” you smile. “Thanks again,” you add, stepping out of the car.
“Hey, ummm, wait,” he calls out the car window as you walk towards your dorm.
“Yeah?” you turn back to face him.
“Ain’t you in that bitch Mrs. Pearson’s creative writing class with me?”
“Oh yeah,” you thought he looked familiar. “You usually sit up in the back row right?”
“If you mean ‘take a nap in the back row’, then yeah that’s me”, he laughs.
“Well see you bright and early tomorrow then I guess,” you smile.
“Yeah, see ya,” he smiles back before driving off.
**************************************
The two of you became quite close after that. Gradually moving your seats closer and closer to be near each other in class and pairing up for projects together. You even got to meet his daughter Casie briefly once before her mom picked her up from their weekend visit. You spent a lot of your free time together.It was amazing how you could do absolutely nothing when you were together yet there was no awkward silence or moments: much like right now where you're both hanging out in your dorm just laying on your bed scrolling aimlessly through your phones.
“Oh my god why are men so stupid?” You blurt out in laughter, showing him a tweet on your phone. “This dude really had the audacity to make a whole ass thread about how to eat pussy but he obviously has no clue what he’s talking about; girls don’t squirt out of their clits!’ No wonder girls never cum and have to fake it. Ya’ll mother fuckers don’t even know where the clit IS, and I’m pretty sure squirting is just something made up by the porn industry cuz that shit never happens in real life.”
“Aye, nah I hope you aint including me in that, cuz lemme tell you, ya boy knows where the clit is! My girls always cum,” he smirks.
“Yeah, okay,” you roll your eyes. “How do you know they’re not faking?”
“Cuz squirting ain’t made up, that shits VERY real! Maybe not every time but it has happened so I know they weren’t faking,” he smiles. “You mean to tell me a guy has never made you cum?
“Uhn uh” you shake your head no.
“And you’ve never squirt... even ..uhh..by yourself...or with whatever toys you chicks use?”
“I mean I’ve cum alone, but never squirt. No,” you admit blushing. You and Colson have never discussed anything sexual with each other before.
“That’s bananas, dawg!” he exclaims, slapping the bed.
The room grows quiet, the silence feeling awkward for the first time in your whole friendship.
“Aye, uh you trust me right?” Colson breaks the silence
“Yeah, of course, with my life!” you exclaim.”Why?”
“Trust me enough to uhmm...show you what I can do?”
“Are--are you saying you wanna — “
“I wanna make you cum,” he blurts out, cutting you off. “If- if you’ll let me that is.”
“I...Uhmm..I..”, you stumble while thinking it over.
“Sorry… uhhh let’s just forget this whole conversation, okay?” he says ashamed, thinking he made you uncomfortable.
“Why not,” you blurt out nonchalantly.
“Wait!, why not, like… like you … you wanna —”
You silently shake your head yes biting your lip.
“Oh shit! For real?” He says in surprise, getting up off the bed. “Uhh, c’mere,” he calls you over to the edge of the bed.
You do as you're told crawling over to the edge, sitting with your legs dangling off the bed. “You know, you don’t gotta go easy with me,” you smirk waiting for him to make his next move.
“Good, I wasn’t planning on it,” he says, immediately flipping you over and yanking your panties off from under your dress.
“Ugh you boys are all the same,” you groan looking back at him assuming he’s just gonna start fucking you from behind. “Haven’t any of you even heard of foreplay?”
“Don’t tell me no one’s ever eaten your pussy from the back before?” he questions, kneeling down behind you.
With both hands he grabs your ass making it jiggle for him before delving his tongue between your folds, his tongue exploring every crevice. You gasp at the sensation and feel his muffled laugh buzz against your core, intensifying your pleasure. Gripping your ass tighter, he alternates between plunging a firm, pointed tongue in and out of your wet slit and assaulting your clit with a series of rapid fire kitten licks. Your legs weaken with each lash of his tongue, your body slowly collapsing against the bed.
“Keep that ass up, girl,” he pauses briefly to say. You try with all your might but it’s no use; Colson has reduced your legs to a pile of jello. Roughly he tosses you onto your back, spreads your thighs open and gets back to work. Keeping his tongue focused on your clit, he slides two fingers deep inside of you, his lengthy digits perfectly pressing against your G spot. “I can feel this pussy tightening around my fingers, I know you're close, right?” He pauses to ask cockily.
All you can manage is to nod, ‘yes’, your bottom lip clenched tightly between your teeth as you look down locking eyes with colson; the fiery passion in them is a stark contrast to their ice blue hue.
Colson quickens the pace of his fingers, the sloshing of your wetness audible as he brings you closer to the edge. Then resting his free hand on your mound he gently pulls back the hood of your clit with his thumb exposing the most sensitive part sending your body into convulsions when he rapidly flicks his tongue against it.
“Colson, FUCK!!! ” you scream out in pleasure as the most intense orgasm of your life rips through you. “Oh my god... oh my god,” you chant in pleasure and shock as you realize you’re actually squirting. Colson doesn’t miss a beat continuing to work you through your high, relishing in the mess you're making all over his face and fingers. When you finally stop twitching he removes his fingers and sits up with a smug look. He pulls off his shirt, wipes his glistening face with it, then tosses it on the floor and hurriedly starts undoing his belt.
“You didn’t think I was just gonna stop at one, did you?” He says cockily pulling himself from his boxers. “Awhh, fuck yeah, sooo wet and tight,” he groans as he pushes in, then bringing his hand between your two bodies, and begins to rub your clit as he thrusts.
“Mhmmmhhmm,” you moan, the bundle of nerves still sensitive from your prior orgasm.
“Told ya I could make you feel good,” he teases, his breath ghosting over that one reactive spot on your neck just behind your ear, causing you to let out a little squeak. “You like that?” He laughs, nipping at the same spot while his hips roll in like the tide, crashing repeatedly against the shore of your pelvis. He nips and kisses along your jawline making his way to your mouth, harshly tugging your bottom lip with a groan. Your tongue reaches out, searching for him as he pulls back.
“Fucking tease,” you whimper.
“That desperate to taste yourself on me?” He chaffs.
To be honest you’re desperate for everything he’s giving you right now; you’re body has never felt such pleasure. So when he offers his mouth back to you, you happily welcome the tart taste of yourself still present on his ravenous tongue. Your mouths move in a hungry rhythm, following suit with your hips. Your breaths and moans echo each others, increasing in speed and volume as climax nears. He can tell you’re so so close and he knows just how to get you there. He grabs your legs pulling you flush against him and throws your legs over his shoulder, keeping your thighs pinned to his chest with both arms as continues to pound you.
“Mhmmm… Yeah, Yeah, Fuck me! Fuck me!” you whine needily clawing at the sheets as you enjoy his cock from a whole new angle, slamming into your g-spot at the perfect tempo. It’s just a few more thrusts until he has you completely undone, cumming for the second time today.
“Jesus Christ, Colson” you moan breathily as you ride it out.
‘Ughggg,” he grunts loudly, quickly pulling out, your legs falling to hips as he finishes on your stomach.
“Can’t believe you were out here talkin’ ‘bout men don’t know where the clit is and no man ever made you cum,” he says mockingly after he catches his breath. “Nah, girl, you just been fucking with some losers. Gotta get you a real man like me.”
“Well looks like I got myself one now,” you smirk. “ because we will definitely be doing that again!”
“Awhhh shiiiit,” he says loudly, his hand covering his smile. “ Got you addicted to this dick already, huh?” He teases.
“Shut up,Colson-,” you laugh, chucking a pillow at him “- and go get me something to clean off my stomach.”
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