#so if The Trainee wants to do the same but make me laugh instead of cry then I am fully on board

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

The Trainee is what Misaeng would have been if it was a comedy and that's why I love it.

[flowersforbucky]

down bad

bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3.9k

author's note: i couldn't stop thinking about bucky being able to use his metal hand as a vibrator and therefore this was born.

warnings/tags: SMUT, oral (female receiving), fingering, bucky being used as a human vibrator, multiple orgasms, language, consumption of alcohol, reader is afab, no use of y/n, slightly possessive bucky, 18+ only

“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” Natasha mutters through a mouth full of popcorn. “Tyler from the statistics department? Are we talking about the same Tyler from statistics?”

“Nat, for the fourth time, yes. Tyler from statistics. The only Tyler from statistics that I know.” You reach for the bottle of Moscato that the two of you are sharing, pouring yourself some more wine.

“Nuh-uh,” Natasha shakes her head. “I don't believe you. There's no way he could be that bad.” She takes a sip from her own glass of wine. “He's too gorgeous,” she shrugs, turning to face you on the couch. The romantic comedy you had picked out for your bi-monthly movie night plays forgotten in the background.

“Trust me,” you sigh. “I was just as shocked as you are. But I swear on my life, he stuck his tongue in my ear. In my fucking ear, but wouldn't go down on me.” You can tell by the look on her face that Nat is trying her hardest not to laugh.

“He said his dick game is ‘too good to need to eat a girl out’.” You shake your head, cringing at the memory. “Which is also what he said when I merely suggested that he use my vibrator on me instead. He looked like I had kicked his dog.”

“Well?” she asks, a pained expression across her features. “Was it? Too good?”

“I didn't stay to find out,” you admit. “I faked a work emergency and dipped.” A laugh breaks through her pursed lips.

“I'm sorry–” she says, although her face says otherwise. “I shouldn't laugh. You just have the worst luck with men. Isn't that the third failed hook-up in what? Six months?”

“Don't fucking remind me,” you groan, throwing your head back on the couch and staring up at the living room ceiling. “I think I've lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to me by another person again.”

Nat opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it when you both notice voices approaching from the hallway.

Sam and Bucky enter the room a moment later, both dressed uncharacteristically nice. You suddenly feel the desire to conceal yourself with the fleece throw blanket laying across your lap. You and Nat usually plan your movie nights for when the tower is relatively empty, so you're just wearing a pair of old sweatpants and a tank top. Bare-faced and hair unstyled, the fact that Bucky's gaze is locked on you as the two of them approach where you and Nat are lounging doesn't help. He's not smiling - but there's a look on his face that you don't quite understand. The ghost of a smirk on his lips and a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

It's a look that makes you nervous - in addition to already feeling flutters in the pit of your stomach at how fucking good he looks.

“Hey, boys,” Nat greets them cheerily. “Where are the two of you going so dolled up?”

“There's a new nightclub in Brooklyn that a group of SHIELD trainees are going to tonight,” Sam answers. “They invited us and we've got nothing better to do. Figured we'd go check it out, get a few drinks. You ladies want to tag along? Or are you too busy watching - what is this, 10 Things I Hate About You?” He gestures towards the screen.

“Couldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while tonight, right?” Nat looks at you for confirmation, a knowing gleam in her eyes. “Who knows, you might even meet someone,” she adds, nudging you with her elbow.

Bucky lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a cough, which he tries to play off as the latter. You narrow your eyes at him before glancing back to Natasha.

“For sure,” you agree, trying to ignore Bucky's bizarre behavior. “Couldn't hurt. You guys go on, we'll get ready and head there soon. Text us the name of the club?” You direct the last part to Sam in particular.

“You got it,” Sam says as he pulls his cell phone from his coat pocket. He turns to leave when both your and Nat’s phones chime with the club information. “Let's go man, our Uber's here,” he directs at Bucky.

“See you both soon,” he says before turning to follow Sam, though his gaze is still only on one of you.

“I'm gonna go throw on some make-up, curl my hair, and hope I can find something somewhat cute to–” Nat starts as soon as Bucky and Sam have turned back down the hallway.

“Was he acting kind of odd?” you interrupt her in a hushed tone.

“Barnes? Always. I've stopped reading into it too much.”

“Some spy you are,” you mumble. “Meet me back here when you're ready.”

— — — — —

One hour later, you're applying some last minute mascara and lip gloss in the backseat of an Uber on your way to downtown Brooklyn. Natasha sits beside you, ranting about an assignment that Fury has tasked her with and you swear you're trying your hardest to absorb everything she's saying - but your mind keeps going back to the way Bucky was looking at you just an hour ago.

What was with that little smirk? That curious glimmer in his eyes? Had he overheard your conversation with Nat? Had he developed the ability to read minds and knew you were thinking about how fucking hot he looked? Or was that thought simply written all over your face?

You knew you couldn't deny it. Bucky does look exceptionally attractive in his black suit, with his perfectly tousled hair - but you had found him to be ridiculously good looking since you'd first met him. Even in casual, everyday clothes, even in gym shorts and drenched in sweat, even covered in blood after particularly brutal miss–

“You girls have a great evening,” your Uber driver interrupts your train of thought as he comes to a stop in front of your destination.

You really need to get fucking laid. You definitely shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about Bucky. He's your coworker, your teammate, your training partner on many occasions, your friend…

Natasha thanks him and hands him a generous cash tip before climbing out of the car right after you.

“Thanks,” you tell her. “I'll buy our drinks.”

“Don't worry about me,” she tells you with a sly grin as you both flash the bouncer your IDs and enter the club. Despite the night still being relatively young, it's already bustling inside.

“You just focus on meeting people, mingling, maybe hitting it off with a super hot guy and taking him back to your place for some mind-blowing–”

“Super hot guy? Are you talking about me?” Sam’s voice interrupts Nat. You both turn around to see him and Bucky walking towards you, drinks in hand.

There's a roguish smile on Bucky's face as his eyes skim up and down your figure.

“You both look wonderful,” he compliments, but once again, his stare is focused only on you. If Natasha notices, she says nothing.

To be fair, you were impressed with how well you managed to put yourself together with such little notice. You found a black, backless mini dress crammed in the back of your closet that you had forgotten all about after snagging it on clearance forever ago. The form-fitting material hugs you in all the right ways, and paired with your favorite pair of strappy black heels, you're feeling infinitely more confident than you were when Bucky saw you just an hour prior.

“Thanks!” You chirp quickly, averting your gaze from him to take in your surroundings. To your left, the dance floor is lively, though not too overcrowded for your liking. To your right, there's a bar surrounded by tables filled with groups of people conversing - you vaguely recognize a couple of SHIELD agents huddled around one. The entire room is illuminated by the faint blue-green glow of the mood lighting, and the bass of the music vibrates through the floorboards.

Sam and Bucky excuse themselves to go say hey to the group of agents that had invited them, while Nat all but drags you over to the bar. You order a double shot of whiskey and throw it back as quickly as you can.

“I see what you mean now,” Nat whispers to you after downing her shot of tequila. “About Barnes,” she clarifies. “He's been eye-fucking you since we walked through the door.”

If you hadn't already swallowed your liquor, you would have spewed it all over her.

“He has not been eye-fucking me, Nat,” you say in an almost scolding tone.

“I'm just saying,” she throws her hands up. “There’s no way he could possibly be any worse than the last few guys you've gone for. I think you should go for it,” she shrugs.

“It's not that I don't think he'd be good,” you say defensively, forcing yourself to look away from where he and Sam are socializing with the small group of SHIELD agents a few tables away. “I just don't want things to be weird afterwards. We work together nearly every day, and we have a bunch of mutual friends–”

“Suit yourself,” she cuts you off in a tone of voice that very much says if you say so. “Now, are you going to dance with me or not?” She adds as she begins tugging you towards the ever-busying dance floor.

You spend the next half hour dancing with Nat before she's swept away by some black-haired doctor looking type. Good for her, you think as you watch them converse intimately at a small booth on the other side of the room.

Thanks to the liquid courage that runs through your veins, you're okay with the fact that Bucky stands just twenty feet away from you, watching you as you dance among the thick crowd of people.

You've made eye contact with him a few times now - on accident or on purpose, you're not sure at this point. But each time, your eyes lingers on his for a moment longer than the last.

You're mentally daring him to come here, to make a move, to do something other than stand to the sidelines of whatever conversation Sam and the others are engaged in.

The slightest bit of pressure on your waist snaps you back to the now congested dance floor.

You look up to find that the hand on your waist belongs to a tall man with shoulder length, sandy blonde hair. He's conventionally attractive enough, though not who you were hoping would come grab you on the dance floor.

“I'm Shawn,” he introduces himself, loudly enough for you to hear him over the roaring music. You tell him your name, pushing aside the pang of disappointment in your chest.

“Do you want to go somewhere a bit quieter to talk, maybe? Let me buy you a drin–”

“There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you,” a voice booms from behind you.

Shawn immediately retracts his hand from your waist, backing up a few inches as Bucky comes into view beside you.

“Must not have been looking too hard, I've been right here this whole time,” you jab back with a smug smile.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to–” Shawn says as he starts to back away.

“No worries, bud,” Bucky says in an overly friendly voice as he moves to stand in front of you, blocking you from Shawn's view entirely.

“Took you long enough,” you tell Bucky once the man is out of ear shot, once again beginning to sway to the music. “Get bored of listening to Sam hype himself up to the newbies?”

He takes a step closer, angling himself behind you. The crowd of people surrounding you edges you closer to him - your bare back brushing against the cool satin fabric of his suit.

“Maybe,” his chest vibrates against your skin when he speaks. He places his hands on either side of your hips - eliciting goosebumps across your skin in a way that no one else has in a long, long time.

“Or maybe I just wanted to save you from wasting your time on another guy who can't make you come.”

Your movements come to an abrupt pause as his words hit you.

He had fucking overheard your conversation with Natasha.

At a loss for words, you turn to face him. There's a shit-eating grin spread across his face. He thinks this is hilarious and it's obvious.

“Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to eavesdrop?”

“Is it really eavesdropping if I have superhuman hearing?” He takes a step closer to you, closing what little distance was separating you. The peaks of your breasts brush against his chest.

“So what happens now that you've saved me from another unsatisfactory hook-up?” You challenge, staring up at him in the neon blue lighting.

You can smell hints of cedarwood and sage from his cologne in your close proximity. It's so delicious that it's dizzying.

“Let me take you somewhere more private than this dance floor and I'll show you.”

“You seem to have a lot of confidence in your ability to give me a better experience,” you say, leaning forward so that your face is just inches from his.

He responds by placing his flesh hand on the small of your back and pulling you flush against him. The tips of his fingers continue to dance down the skin of your exposed spine. His vibranium hand comes to cradle your jaw, his metal thumb tracing your bottom lip.

His mouth forms a dark smirk - and then you feel it. It starts soft and subtle and then gradually increases in intensity.

His fucking thumb is vibrating against your lip.

If you hadn't been standing in the middle of a crowded dance floor at a nightclub in downtown Brooklyn, you would have taken that thumb into your mouth and sucked on it right then and there.

“What do you say?” he asks, now tugging on your bottom lip with the pulsing digit. “Are you going to let me take you to the first empty room I can find in this place and make you come?”

“I say show me the way.”

He removes his hand from your face and turns you in the direction of the back of the club. He guides you through the throng of dancers, keeping his hands placed firmly on either side of your waist from behind. His vibranium fingers still hum softly, reminding you of what he says is to come.

Directly past the dance floor, there's a hallway blocked off by a rope with a sign that reads employees only. Taking a quick look around, you see that all of the patrons surrounding you and Bucky are paying you no mind. Bucky unhooks the flimsy rope and the two of you slip down the hallway.

He jiggles the handles of several doors that all turn out to be locked. Not wanting to waste any time or draw any attention to yourselves with picking locks, you continue down the dark corridor until the heavy music from the heart of the club fades to a muted roar.

The very last door opens without a hitch.

Thanks to the pale orange glow of a table lamp on a desk in the corner of the room, you can see that you're in a makeshift office/supply room - a couple of filing cabinets, cleaning supplies, extra glassware, and some sound equipment strewn haphazardly throughout the limited space.

Bucky clicks the lock into place as soon as he closes the door behind him.

You're going to turn around him and tell him that he doesn't have to do this - that as badly as you want this, you don't want to ruin your friendship, that as badly as you want him, he doesn't have anything to prove to you - but his lips are already on yours as soon as you start to open your mouth.

He doesn't take his lips off of yours as he guides you backwards to the rickety wooden desk. The backs of your thighs hit the table and Bucky effortlessly lifts you to sit on the edge, giving him the perfect angle to deepen the kiss - with his tongue exploring your mouth, you're unable to stop yourself from groaning into the kiss.

You fist your fingers into his hair, tugging just hard enough so that he hisses into your mouth. His own hands trail from the sides of your stomach and down your thighs, until he reaches the tail of your dress. You instinctively part your legs for him, as much as the restrictive fabric will allow, and his vibranium hand shoots between your thighs.

He teases you, dragging his index finger along the cloth of your panties that you know you're close to soaking through already. Just as the tip of his finger pauses above your clit, his finger begins emitting the softest vibration.

You break the kiss, breathless as you throw your head back at the sensation. Bucky takes it as an opportunity to attach his lips to the pulse point of your throat, nipping your flesh with his teeth followed by a wet kiss.

He continues with the ministrations through your panties until you're rutting against his hand, needing more. He tugs your underwear to the side and increases the intensity of the vibration before nudging his middle finger past your entrance.

You have to hold onto his shoulders to steady yourself - despite the fact that you're sitting, your body feels like jelly beneath his touch. He adds in his index finger with ease before cupping your pussy in his palm - the heel of his hand pulsating against your clit.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you cry against his mouth.

“You're so fucking wet for me, you know that?” He coos, thrusting both of his fingers against the spongy-flesh of your walls.

You can feel the vibrations of his hand all the way from your belly to your toes.

You begin grinding your hips to meet the movement of his fingers, fucking yourself against his hand. There's a familiar knot forming in your lower belly as he curls his fingers inside you -

“I want you to think about me and how good I'm making you feel every time you think about letting some fuckin’ nobody touch you,” he says in a low voice next to your ear. “I want you to think about riding my fingers until you come all over my hand.”

His words send you over the edge and you do exactly that - your pussy clenching around his fingers as you ride them through your orgasm. While you're still coming down from the high of your climax, Bucky pulls his metal fingers out of you and brings them to your lips, inserting his index finger in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the slick metal as he brings the vibrations to a halt and then slowly pulls the finger from your mouth.

He picks you up off the edge of the desk and plants you back on the ground - your legs still shaking from how hard you had come.

“Turn around and lean over the desk,” he instructs you, soft but authoritative.

You don't know if it's because of the way he's looking at you or because of how good he's already made you feel, but in that moment, you would've done anything he asked of you.

You bend over the desk, supporting yourself by leaning on your forearms. You peak back over your shoulder to look at Bucky - he hikes your dress up, baring your ass to him.

He lets out an audible groan before he has even pulled your panties down to your ankles.

He kneels on the ground behind you, his face inches away from your cunt. He uses both his flesh and metal hands to spread you open for him, and then his tongue is licking up your center from behind.

God, you hope no one tries to come into this room. The door may be locked but the sounds that someone would hear if they even walked up to the door…

Bucky knows just how to make you writhe above him. He's soft when he's kissing up your folds and unsparing when he's sucking your clit between his lips. His hands hold your ass in a firm grasp that teeters between pleasure and pain.

You grind back against his face and he moans so deeply that you feel the vibration of it up your core. Your eyes roll back into your head as you clutch the sides of the desk to better support yourself.

His enthusiasm alone has you spiraling towards a second climax embarrassingly fast.

“You know,” he murmurs against your sensitive pussy. “When I overheard you say that someone had refused to go down on you, I couldn't believe it. What a fuckin idiot to pass this up.” He gives your ass cheek a firm slap with his flesh hand before diving his face between your legs once more.

It's just seconds before you feel the telltale pressure growing in your lower belly once more. You go limp against the table, Bucky placing his hands on the backs of your thighs to help keep you upright as you ride out your orgasm on his face.

You continue to lay against the desk as you regain control of your breathing. Bucky stands up, tugging your panties up your legs and back around your waist as he does. He then shimmies your dress back down into place so that you're once again looking club-appropriate.

When you turn around to face him, he's wiping your slick from his lower face on the sleeve of his suit, once again displaying a shit-eating grin.

“What was it you said?” He asks in mocking contemplation. “You had lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to you by another person again?”

“I think you've made your point. You're fantastic at eating pussy and you're a walking human-sex toy.” You roll your eyes at him and start to walk towards the door, but he grabs your wrist in his metal hand, stopping you.

He pulls you back to him and brings his flesh hand to cradle your jawline. He stares at you in a heavy, uncertain silence for a split second before bringing his lips to yours.

It's a kiss that's a bit more hesitant, and a lot less rushed than the one before. You taste yourself all over him, warm and salty. He takes his time getting lost in your mouth - you savor every second and it still comes to and end all too once.

“Couldn't help myself,” he smiles softly when he pulls away. “Just had to kiss you one last time.”

You can't help the way your heart skips a beat when he says the word last.

You clear your throat. “We should probably go find Sam and Natasha,” you say, giving him a small smile in return. “I'm sure they're both wondering where the hell we are.”

You spend the rest of the evening attempting to mingle with friends, but there's one thought that torments you for the remaining duration of the night - just a few hours ago, you doubted that you'd ever have a satisfactory hook-up ever again.

Now, you had to wonder if anyone else could ever make you feel as good as Bucky did.

♡♡♡♡♡

i left this kind of open-ended soooo leave it to your own interpretation what happens next for them 🤭

as always comments/reblogs are infinitely appreciated. thanks for reading!

my masterlist

[tinylilacbun]

omg omg idk if u take requests if u are can you do a winter soldier x little reader? maybe like bucky somehow gets into the winter soldier mode and is scary towards everyone else but the reader (like he goes soft for the reader)😭

Code: Winter

Pairing: daddy!Bucky x little!reader

Warnings: age regression, soft!Winter Soldier, mentions of guns, angst?, some fluff

⭒𖥸⭒

You whined when your nap got interrupted by the blarring alarm and constant repeating words 'code winter'.

Holding your hands over your ears you turned on your other side, expecting your daddy to lay beside you reading a book but frowned when you found his side of the bed empty.

Grabbing your stuffie you got up from your comfortable bed, making your way to the door and opening it slightly, peeking your head out.

You saw several agents and trainees running past your room, all seeming rather panicked and your little mind can't grasp the thought of there being a reason, or someone, for them being so scared, instead your curiosity got the best of you and you decided to go and look for yourself.

Meanwhile in the common area Steve was trying to console Bucky with Sam and Natasha behind him, aiming their weapons at him.

"Buck, come on, you know us-" Steve placed his shield down, trying to show he's no threat to the soldier.

"Steve! Look out!" Natasha shouted all three of them throw themselves to the side when the couch was being thrown their way.

Just as the soldier started approaching them he got send back by a repulsor shot from Tony who flied in just in time, in his iron man suit.

"That was a 2 thousand dollar couch, Terminator."

The soldier now grabbed the gun he had tucked in the waistband of his pants, aiming it at Tony when a small voice had them all turning their heads.

"Daddy...?" Your bottom lip trembling you held your stuffie close to your chest, not understanding why he was being mean to your aunt and uncles. "What you doin'?"

The soldier slowly made his way towards you, aiming his his gun straight at Steve when he took a step forward.

While walking to you the voice in his head he kept pushing away became even louder than before.

Do. Not. Hurt. Her. I dare you.

When he stood before you he tilted his head at the tear that was rolling down your cheek, his metal hand reaching up to wipe it away gently. In the deepest of his mind he knows you're no threat to him and picked you up with his metal arm placing you on his hip, his other hand still aiming the gun at the others to keep them at a good distance while walking out of the room.

The others all let out a sigh, still not at ease knowing the freaking Winter Soldier has you with him with no supervision.

"What are we gonna do now? If we step one foot in their room we'll have a bullet in our head." Sam said crossing his arms.

"He won't hurt her." Steve assured them.

"And how do you know that?" Tony laughed at him.

"I just know, alright. As much as the Winter Soldier wanted to, he couldn't. Bucky would never let that happen, even in this state."

"You better be right, Capsicle." Tony pointed a finger at him.

Back in your room, you were sitting on his lap, trying to analyze his expressions but there were none. Cold and dull eyes where staring at you, not the bright blue ones that you got used to and loved so much.

"You not daddy?" You asked, nervously playing with a lose seam of your stuffie.

When he shook his head you frowned a little. It confused you how he can be the Bucky you've known for years now but also doesn't at the same time. It's like talking to a clone, a much more colder one at that but still you can't help but feel safe in his arms.

The soldier doesn't like to see you upset, some inner part of him feels the need to comfort you in any way possible.

"Call me papa." He said with a russian accent and your face lit up at that, glad you didn't lost your caregiver completely.

You nod with a small smile, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck, your interrupted nap now catching up with you.

"Love you, papa." You mumbled, yawning before finally closing your eyes again.

The soldier hummed in response, his metal hand rubbing subconsciously on your back and feeling your body relaxing against his.

⭒𖥸⭒

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @fluffyblanketgecko @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse @kissforvoid

For Bucky:

@almostcontentcreator

Crossed out are the ones I somehow can't tag!!

[jinnie-ret]

Hiii can I rq a skz x 15 y/o trainy were she acts v gen z n stuff?

generation z

aka 3 times Y/N left the boys feeling old

stray kids x reader (platonic)

genre: fluff, crack

content warnings: none

word count: 1.2k

summary: she's the youngest of the group and the boys can't keep up with her internet slang

Ok first of all I'm sorry my mind got jumbled and I wrote this as the ninth member instead, but if you want to you can still read it as a trainee friend :) also I tried so sorry if you find this cringe lmaoo

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

1) Slay

Y/N was currently on a VLIVE with danceracha, not that she was a part of it, but she was the best hypeman around, both the boys and Stays knew this. They were practicing 'Wow', the danceracha track and Y/N was obsessed.

"Wow, wow, wow!!" Y/N shouted along with the song's chorus, comically jumping up and down in the back of the room and waving her SKZ lightstick around. It was quite the scene, Stays laughing in the comments at her enthusiasm whilst admiring the boys dance.

As soon as they finished dancing she cheered loudly for them, handing them their water bottles and reading the comments from Stays.

"'Y/N is the best hypeman', duh!" Y/N jokingly pulled an obvious face at the camera as she continued reading comments, Hyunjin sitting next to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"'Y/N is so me'," Y/N read out and smirked, "hey Stay..."

"Oh lord," Hyunjin moved away, already anticipating that their maknae was going to do something that would disturb his ears. And he was right to do so.

"I AM YOU, I SEE ME IN YOU-" Y/N sang loudly at the top of her lungs, before Lee Know muffled her shouts with his hand.

"Aigoo, our Y/Nnie is so loud," he patted her head too, a condescending smile on his face.

"Yah hyung! You're normally the loudest! Let her be hyper!" Felix giggled, pushing Lee Know's hands away from Y/N.

"Yeah, Stays think I'm funny!" Y/N stuck her tongue out as the boys and her sat around reading the comments again.

"Go on then, give us a joke, Miss Comedian," Hyunjin poked her cheek.

"Ok, Lee Know your hands smell like cat litter," Y/N shrugged her shoulders and said bluntly, making danceracha burst out into laughter and Lee Know get up to chase her.

"That wasn't even a joke," Hyunjin giggled.

"It was a diss," Felix laughed along, the other two still running around the room. It was too much for Stays to handle, this moment going into many fan compilations in the future.

"Hey, hey Stays," Y/N stood in the middle of the room, fighting against Lee Know as he tried to drag her off screen.

"Hey, Stays, all around the world, you make Stray Kids SLAY!!" Y/N cheered and then squealed as Lee Know lifted her into the air.

"What-" Hyunjin facepalmed, shoulders shaking as he laughed.

"I'm gonna have to use that one," Felix nodded as he giggled.

2) Gyatt

Y/N was currently recording her parts in the ROCKSTAR album, entering the studio with an iced coffee in hand.

"What's poppin?" she matched Han's energy as he laughed and repeated after her, Chan and Changbin shaking their heads with small smiles.

"Ok, Y/N, we're recording Megaverse first, you ready?" Chan pressed the button to speak so Y/N would hear him once she was in the recording booth.

"Aish, my ears!" Y/N jumped at how loud his voice was and ducked down to crouch on the floor, making the staff laugh with the members.

Soon she began recording a small rap part which was new for her, she was part of vocalracha and so was used to singing on their tracks.

"Ok, Y/N, do the same again but just a bit louder, like you want the world to hear your message," Changbin leant over Chan as he gave some advice.

"Ok, ok, I got this," Y/N told herself, "GYATT!" she randomly shouted, before continuing to nod, not hearing or looking at the looks of confusion and amusement spread across the faces of 3racha.

She finished recording her rap part successfully and exited the booth, the boys praising her but they only had one question on her mind.

"What was that you shouted?" Chan rose an eyebrow at her, grinning.

"I shouted a lot of things, you told me to shout my rap," Y/N shrugged with a confused smile, hands resting in the pockets of her hoodie.

"Don't play dumb," Changbin pointed out, messing her hair.

"Ohhh," Y/N realised and laughed, "hey Changbin, just start walking over there for a second."

"Why?" Han laughed from the sofa, wondering what the maknae was up to.

"Just do it," Y/N further prompted and so Changbin sighed and nodded.

"GYATT!!!" Y/N shouted once again, as she very obviously looked at Changbin's butt.

"Omo," Chan covered his ears and laughed in shock.

"Understand now?" Y/N laughed.

"Not really, no," said poor Changbin, who had turned around in shock and didn't see what happened. It was often they didn't understand their maknae's slang words.

3) Rizz

Stray Kids were currently filming for Teen Vogue, taking part in the Compliments Battle, a video that would quickly win over Stays' hearts as one of their funniest videos ever.

Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin had already gone, the latter unable to take Seungmin's compliments no longer.

"Innie, I'll avenge you," Y/N whispered to her fellow maknae, who in turn grinned right back at her.

"Yah what are the maknaes talking about?" Seungmin have them an unimpressed look, folding his arms.

"Hyung?" Jeongin asked.

"Yeah?" Seungmin asked back.

"Shhh," Jeongin commanded lightly, making the members laugh. Y/N took her seat opposite Seungmin whilst everyone laughed.

"Y/N is so precious, and has the purest soul, Y/N is my... everything," Seungmin stared Y/N dead in the eyes as he spoke to her, the girl cringing.

"Seungmin is my puppy, I love him so much, cute puppy Seungie so talented," Y/N said sweetly, being over the top as she spoke.

"Oh my gosh," Jeongin wrinkled his nose hearing the words.

"I think I just threw up a bit," Seungmin said in English.

"Wah? Who said that about me?" Y/N gasped and laughed.

"I did. About how you just spoke to me," Seungmin laughed at Y/N's face.

"Yah give me a compliment," Y/N folded her arms.

"Ok, ok," Seungmin stopped laughing, "Y/N is my queen."

"Woahhhh, I'm gonna have that on replay," Y/N smirked. "Let's see... Seungmin is so handsome and sexy- I'm not reading that... Forget the tweets lemme use the Y/N rizz," she smirked as she pulled up her sleeves.

"Rizz?" Jeongin repeated after her looking confused.

"Hey Seungmin, what do you say we go on a romantic walk and pee on a lamppost?" Y/N smirked, the guys choking on their breaths as they were shocked at what she said.

"Y/N... What?!" Seungmin gasped.

"He reacted, he's out!" Jeongin clapped happily.

"No, let me keep going I've got more. He's a puppy get it? It's not weird! Hmmm, what else..." Y/N defended herself and began, as her leader shared nervous glances at the staff, but she didn't need to know that. "Hey are you my dog when I'm depressed?" perhaps Y/N left a pause for too long, "because I just wanna... give you... kisses... Guys stop looking at me like I'm weird!"

Jeongin covered his face to avoid her wrath.

"This isn't just Y/N rizz! This is puppy rizz!"

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami

[itsbeeble]

I saw your post about having Bang Chan brain rot and honestly, same. He has filled every waking thought I've had for the last year and I'm big mad over it.

So my fic rec is a little angsty/suggestive with him being as obsessed with y/n as we all are with him. Like, he's angry that he can't focus on work because he's too busy thinking about them but can't have them for whatever reason. All the features he possesses that we love that he can't see in himself are exactly what draws him to y/n. (I feel like crushing on Chan is an exercise in learning to love yourself, and that's a lesson he needs to learn as well).

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO ME I LITERALLY FELL TO THE FLOOR WHEN I FIRST SAW IT (that first statement is so real actually)

OBSESSIVE

Summary: Chan has always been obsessed with you, but he's been too afraid to act on it until now.

Genre: Angst, fluff

Pairing: bestfriend!Bang Chan x (implied)fem!reader

Warnings: a little angsty but mostly fluff, hurt/comfort, suggestive, some uhhh sexual themes but there's no actual smut or anything, small make out scene teehee, swearing, insecurities briefly mentioned, I think that's it

WC: 2462

18+ MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

A/N: guys look it didn't take me 10 years to post! Also i'm gonna add to my masterlist a "Brainrot" section bc i'm not officially gonna write for certain groups but fuck do i get brainrot

~

Chan is restless in his studio, staring at the walls in front of him unable to focus. He can’t get his brain to work, to think, to do something. 

It’s your fault. He knows it’s your fault, but he can’t figure out why. Had you said something to him? Had you done something? 

No. The answer is no, you hadn’t done anything to him. At least not technically. 

In fact, it’s more him that's the problem.

It’s almost unhealthy the way he’s obsessed with you. Unhealthy and almost annoying considering that you hardly ever give him the light of day. 

Chan adores you. Adores the way you don’t care about what anyone else thinks of you, the way you laugh too loudly, the way your nose crinkles when you smile, and the way you can hold conversations so easily. He adores the way you never seem to care about looking put together, dressing in whatever you find comfortable that day, and somehow still looking beautiful. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way about anyone before. He hates the swirling in his stomach, the way his heart beats faster, and the way he can always tell when you’re close to him whether you want him to know or not. Chan can always tell from the smell of your perfume, that sweet, subtle scent you’ve worn since the day you met him in your days as trainees. 

These emotions…he shouldn’t be feeling them. Not about you, his best friend. His confidant. The one person he can trust to always be there for him, for everything. He’s tried so hard to will these emotions away, to force himself to like other people. He’s tried hookups, blind dates, dating apps. He’s tried imagining it was his grandmother instead of you whenever his thoughts dive into dangerous territory. 

And no, the grandmother thoughts didn’t work. His thoughts kept returning to you, how you would look under him. How you would look with your hair splayed out, your hand cupping his cheeks, and your lips sending him the sweet smile that you seem to reserve for him.

Fuck, he’s doing it again.

Chan takes a deep breath, sipping at the day-old water and grimacing at the stale taste in his mouth. His computer screen is still blank, the screen off from the time he’s spent staring into space and thinking of you. 

A knock on the door and then you’re slipping in quietly with a plastic go-cup filled with iced coffee. 

“Hey.”

Your greeting is simple, but you flash that smile and Chan’s heart starts doing flips. He hates it. He hates that you make him feel this way, hates that he gets nervous whenever you’re around. 

He feels you at his side, your arm on the back of his chair, fingertips brushing against his shoulder and sending jolts of electricity down his spine. He turns his head, angling his neck to look up at you. 

You with your calm eyes, with your gentle brushes against his skin, and the way you somehow soothe the storm that you caused inside of him. 

The cup in your hand is angled toward him, and he shakes his head.

“You shouldn’t be drinking that, you know,” it’s almost instinctive how he scolds you, a frown on his face when you just roll your eyes and pull the cup away from him. “Especially right now. You should be asleep, Y/N.” 

“So should you,” you hum, rolling your shoulders back and wincing when something cracks. 

“I’m working.” He nods his head at the computer, and you raise an eyebrow at the black screen.

“I can see that. Working very hard, just like you always are.”

Your hand raises to his head, ruffling the soft strands of hair. Chan clicks his tongue and pulls away from you. Your hand drops down to your side, and your small drops slightly. Barely noticeable, but enough for Chan to feel a pang in his chest. He rolls his chair back slightly, spinning it to face you. You pull a chair up, sitting directly across from him, and delicately place your coffee in an empty space on his crowded desk. 

Chan feels your knees brush against his, and heat scorches his body again. Why do you do this to him? Is it on purpose? Do you know he loves you more than a best friend should?

“Are you okay, Channie?” You lean toward him, the open part of your button-down shirt dipping to expose more skin. You would think he’s never been around a woman before.

He clears his throat, tries to look at you, and then clears his throat again. You’re biting at your lip now your eyebrows furrowed together in thought. 

He leans away from you when you lean toward him. Your knees are between his thighs now, unbeknownst to you but he is all too aware of it. You rise from your chair, coming closer to him and standing between his legs. One of his hands twitches, fighting to raise just a little bit to touch the side of your leg. 

“You seem a little feverish,” your hand is cold against his skin, and he almost chokes on the air he’d been struggling to inhale without the sweet scent of you overpowering his lungs and making him do unthinkable things. Your lips are twisted into a pout, your hand moving to his forehead and then his cheek. 

It takes Chan a moment to realize that he’s grabbed your wrist. 

It takes another moment for him to realize that his lips are against the back of your hand. 

Another moment and you haven’t pushed him away. Is it shock? Are you too disgusted to do anything? Fuck, why did he have to do that?

“Y/N—” he’s stumbling over his words, trying to grasp any thought that runs through his brain. An apology, hopefully. “I’m so— I didn’t mean—” 

Your lips are on his before he can say another word. It was a quick, fleeting kiss. Heat of the moment, maybe. 

You pull back, just far enough to look him in the eyes. 

Chan opens his mouth, ready to speak again.

The door slams shut. The space you stood in is empty. Chan’s heart sinks to his stomach, his skin still warm where you touched him.

“Fuck”

~

It’s three days before Chan hears from or sees you. Three days of absolute radio silence. No one forcing him to stop working, to look away from the screen and lay on the couch for a while. No wild laughter, random coffee dates. Nothing, and he knows why.

He knows you’ve been avoiding him. It’s not that difficult to figure it out. Whatever happened that night…it scared both of you. What frustrates him isn’t the subtle rejection. No, he could never be mad at you for that. He loves you too much to be angry about that. 

No, he’s mad about the fact that you’re running from this. You who regularly gets into heated arguments with the staff when they’re working him and the other members too hard. You who always accepts when you’re in the wrong, actively seeking a solution. You who has never had problems with communicating your emotions. He’s angry that the one time he needs you to communicate with him, you disappear. Now, after three days of you avoiding him, he isn’t quite sure he wants to see you anymore. He wouldn’t have minded if you told him you hated him for what happened.

Radio silence is…quite possibly the last thing he expected.

A knock on his door jolts him out of his thoughts. Three raps, then two, and the door opens. He knows it’s you by the shuffling of your feet against the ground and the sound of ice against plastic. You come to stand near him. Not next to him, no, it’s like you can sense the anger in him.

Or you can hear the angry typing. 

“What are you working on?” Your voice is quiet, so quiet that he almost doesn’t catch it. 

He doesn’t respond, at least not at first. The typing doesn’t slow, and he hears a small exhale from you. 

“Chan?” Your hand comes to rest on his shoulder and the typing stops. You drop your hand to your side, biting your tongue and forcing the tears back. “Channie, can you please talk to me?” He turns to look at you, trying to hold back all of the emotions he’s been feeling these past three days. 

“About what?” He plays dumb. Maybe if he acts like nothing happened, you’ll just drop it and you can start avoiding each other and he can move on from you. 

“About…about what happened.” Your voice shakes, and he almost feels bad. 

Scratch that, he does feel bad. 

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about.” Chan dismisses, “You made it clear how you feel and that’s fine. We can forget about it.” He avoids your gaze now, but he hears a sniffle coming from you. Hears a sob that you made a poor attempt at concealing. He looks at you again, and your hand is over your mouth while you try to calm yourself. He bites the side of his tongue, closing his eyes and exhaling heavily. 

“Come here,” he raises his hand and lazily beckons you over to him. You don’t move at first, still focused on calming yourself. “Y/N, come here.” 

Your steps are slow, almost nervous about approaching him, and suddenly all the anger is washed away from Chan’s body. All he can think about is the fact that he’s made you cry, made you upset, and he wants to fix it. 

“Why are you crying, pretty?” You’re standing in front of him, all too similarly to three days ago. Your cup has been placed to the side again, next to his keyboard, and your hands are in his. 

“I feel like…” your voice is thick with emotion, tears rolling down your cheeks that Chan wants nothing more than to kiss away. “I feel like I messed everything up.”

“How could you possibly think that?” Your best friend frowns. 

“I— I kissed you.” Your sentences are stuttered. “I fe—feel like I me—messed everyth—everything up. You— You’re my bes—best friend, Channie.” 

“Look at me,” he holds his hand to your chin, tilting your head to look down at him. “You did nothing wrong. In case you forgot, I kissed you first.”

“But that was diffe—different!” You cry, yanking your hands out of his grip and turning your back on him. Chan rises from his chair, carefully watching your movements. “I kissed you!” 

He’s curious now. “Do you think I hate you because of that?” 

You turn around, and a gasp escapes you. He’s only a few inches from you, his breath kissing your cheeks. You can see a dark tinge on his tanned skin. Was he blushing? Was he mad? 

“I— I mean—” Chan steps toward you again, practically backing you into the wall.

“Because you’d be wrong,” he continues. “In fact, it’s probably made me even worse.” 

What? “Chan— what does that—”

“I’ve been obsessed with you from the day that I met you, Y/N.” Here goes nothing. Chan takes a deep breath before continuing. “Everything you do, everything you say. I’m addicted to you. You know, I couldn’t tell at first if I envied you. It was the way you carried yourself, the confidence you had in every little thing. The way you fought so hard for the things that you loved and the people you cared about. I thought I envied the way you could laugh as loud as you wanted without fearing what other people thought of you.” 

You’re against the wall now, but he hasn’t caged you in. No, he leaves you room to escape should you so choose. Your tears have stopped and Chan reaches up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the streaks that were left. 

“I was wrong.” His voice is so quiet, so much quieter than he probably intended it to be, but it has a zoo erupting in your stomach. “It wasn’t envy.”

“Then what was it?” Your voice matches his in volume, your eyes flicking from his lips and back up to meet his gaze. He takes a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of your cold hands twisting into the fabric of his shirt, your knuckles brushing against the skin of his stomach. “Channie?” 

The way you said his name should’ve been innocent. It should have just grabbed his attention, snapped him out of the spell you’ve cast on him. 

The air is knocked out of your chest at the first touch of his lips on yours. It isn’t rough, not by any means. 

His lips move smoothly against yours, slow and sure of every move he wants to make as if he’s always going to be two steps ahead of you. One of his hands slides down to cup the back of your head, right at the base to allow him to angle your head and pull your body closer to his. Your hands have tightened into his cotton t-shirt, holding so tightly you’re positive the fabric has stretched. 

Your chest is on fire, whether from lack of breath or the emotions running through you like wildfire, you aren’t sure, but you don’t want to stop. You can’t stop. Not when he tastes so good, not when he’s kissing you like there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing. 

A whine escapes you, and you feel his body go rigid. His lips stop moving, and he pulls back from you. You see his chest stuttering as he tries to stop himself from taking deep breaths. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you for a long time. 

You don’t have to, though. The drawings he traces into your hip with his finger and the hazy, starstruck look in his eye says enough.

His eyes meet yours when you clear your throat to get his attention. 

“So,” your voice is slightly hoarse but you can’t find yourself caring. Not in front of Chan. “You never answered my question.” He bends down, his lips lightly pressing into the skin of your neck. Your breathing hitches, and you feel him smile against you. 

“What question was that?” He asks, and his voice is right in your ear, and you can’t help but pull him closer to you.

“What was it that you felt?” 

He just laughs against you, finally taking his hand out of your hair. 

“You know what it was, pretty. Don’t pretend.”

You smile, your arm coming to wrap around the back of his neck. 

Love. It was love, and you knew it the whole time.

[whumpsoda]

Oh please write a snippet of Florence being put on the drip, knowing that his mind is being wiped and there's nothing he can do about it

@oliversrarebooks

Masterlist

Man do I hate him <3

cw: pet whump, box boy universe/bbu adjacent, institutionalized slavery, wru facility, drugging, impending doom

——————

This was the end.

He could now say that he had experienced how it felt to contemplate death, not that he could never really tell anyone, now could he? That was basically what it was, the death of his mind. The death of a person, the person he was, brain turned to the mush that was a pet’s.

He swallowed, shaking. He wasn’t supposed to be shaking, never before would he have ever been fucking shaking, yet he couldn’t stop himself.

There was a muzzle covering a majority of his face, padded and black to match the mitts tied around his hands, to keep him from biting. Or maybe from screaming. Maybe both.

He was restrained to a table, similar to one in a doctors office, but - and of course - fucking white. He’d never really thought that much about it as a handler, when his life didn’t revolve around it - the white walls, white lights, white shirts, white uniforms - but goddammit everything was white. It made him sick to his stomach, a burning throb that seeped into his head.

This whole room was the same - white tile, white walls, white furniture, white cabinets - save for the metal machinery that provided no solace.

An itch blossomed in his outgrown, frizzy curls, one he couldn’t move to reach, forcing him to rub his head to the surface of the table. Making him look like the animal they would turn him into.

A snap in his face, catching his attention. Like a dog. “You ready? Or are you gonna struggle like you always do, even to your last moments?” Handler - God no, Everett - chuckled, stood right beside him.

His last moments. How laughable was it that he was spending them tied down to a table about to be plugged into the same substance he’d put so many boxies’ through? How fucking funny would he have found that if it was someone else on the table instead of him?

He wanted to sock Everett right in the face. He would’ve, if not for the restraints. Still, he struggled - banging, kicking weakly, snarling wildly - face beating red as Everett began to laugh.

“Isn’t that just a sight?” Everett leaned over his trainee, grinning with that stupid look on his face. A growl rolled out from under the muzzle, muffled and nearly unheard. “Man, I’m so excited, you have no idea. I’m so done with your antics.”

Anger fired up a flame in his chest, binding over his lungs as his cheeks boiled. With a clunk his fists fell to the table, over and over again in the attempt to make as much of a ruckus as he could. Anything to irritate his captors more than he already had. Anything to bring him any semblance of satisfaction.

“Hrgh-!” His eyes practically burst from their sockets as electricity exploded around his kneck, a squeal crackling from his throat as the shock seemed to stretch on and on.

Before, Everett would have thought the sight was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. Now he sat their straight faced, looking as bored as if he was any other trainee. “Don’t make me use the shock collar, ‘065, you know it’s already gotten old.”

The muzzle did it’s very best to constrict his hoarse, shallow breathing, the edge scratching over the skin of his throat. Everett patted his shoulder, comforting if not for the circumstances, calling his attention back.

“Don’t you worry one bit, ‘065. Everything’ll be a-okay once you’re off the drip. You’ll see.” Everett couldn’t even put in the effort to hide his smirk, one he so very much to wipe right off. “You want me to hold your hand?”

Everett was taunting him. Taunting him. Like they did to trainees together, except this time he was the trainee.

What would he even be after this? As a real trainee, head knocked empty?

A boxie. He’d be a braindead, obedient little boxie.

He’d have an owner, someone whose every word he would hang from, drooling to serve them.

His stomach churned, bile bubbling up with heat from his belly. He was going to puke just thinking about it.

What a joke.

The click of the door, steps parading the edge of the room. The doctor had arrived, the same one he’d worked with several times previously on other boxies. This time though, that doctor would be working on him.

“You guys ready to get this party started?” Everett asked - hands on his lap in an anticipatory stance - giddy almost, to no response.

The doctor was on the other side of his table then - he’d never cared to remember her name - audibly flicking switches, turning knobs.

“And we’re on.” Everett sneered, plopping himself into a white, plastic chair across the room. The perfect view, staring straight at him.

This was-

This was it.

He could feel his lungs growing and depleting, breath sucked in and out faster and faster every nearing second. The muzzle wasn’t doing him any good, only furthering his struggle for air.

He gripped to the walls of the table as best he could with mitts around his hands, wriggling weaker and weaker against the restraints with every passing moment. The drip was already getting to him, quicker and quicker.

He shrieked, quieter than expected but still a decent sound. The doctor was unmoved, Everett giggling from his seat.

How dare they.

How fucking dare they.

He was a person, not a boxie. He wasn’t like them. He was someone who had a family, friends, a real fucking future ahead of him, one they swiped away just like that. One that, this time, he couldn’t see any way to get back.

He couldn’t struggle. His limbs were numb, falling limp as something dead, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. What could he have?

The air was hot in his mouth, sweat dribbling over his top lip and onto his bottom. Already he felt himself drifting, like he was floating almost, unable to grab back on.

Maybe-

If he could just-

If he-

he…

His head filled up with a sensation of suffocatingly air, as if going in for surgery. He caught Everett flash him a small, glittering wave. “See ya soon, ——,”

Only white, hearing fading out to a buzz.

Only white, thoughts washing into the abyss.

Only white, vision clearing to a stinging brightness.

Only white, memories flushed to emptiness in the blink of his eye.

Wiped.

——————

Masterlist

Taglist - @softvampirewhump @ivymyers @taterswhump @octopus-reactivated @tippytappytyping

@distracted-obsessions @starfields08000 @bitchaknso @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @scoundrelwithboba

@whumped-by-glitter @whumpering-heights @arlin-always-writing @bilightningwhumper @sharkyydoesnothing

@whump-till-ya-jump

If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)

[unique-high]

Hey gurrl I'm new to your blog I absolutely love you stories and was wondering if I could ask one for cha eunwoo I can find an blk female book on him and it frustrating 😭😭

Well the company there are in is hybe

Cha eunwoo is a well established idol and actor while yn is still a trainee that eunwoo fell in love with and as been flirting with but she is an oblivions person so until he told her before she knew. Cha eunwoo age same as current while since yn is a trainee I would say 18

Soo sorry for the long ass quest😘🙏🏾

a/n: omg sorry it took me forever to freaking get to this! Please forgive me. I wrote this in one night so I didn't have much time to check for grammar so I'm deeply sorry for any mistakes.

Eunwoo waits for you after practice. Every day. Always at the door. He waits. The other trainees would playfully poke fun singing KISSING the nursery rhyme as they walk out giggling passing the older male. You're sweaty, your limbs feel like jelly and a tired smile smoothes onto your face every time you see Eunwoo. And damn he loves your smile. It reminds him of the early days of summer when the weather still felt a little nicer.

Sometimes you and Eunwoo didn't need to speak. There was that silent talk that said more. When his eyes said more too but you never notice the way he looked at you. The little pleading behind his dark eyes for you to look at him a little longer and the little hint of love hidden in his irises for you to find.

There's a close enough space between you and Eunwoo as you walk beside him. He intentionally lets the back of his hand brush against yours, just that brief moment of skin-to-skin contact was enough for him though he craved more than that.

“Practice go well?”

“I kept getting the steps wrong again and the teacher scolded me.” you pouted.

Eunwoo pets your head. “Do you want to practice with me?”

He knew the dance by heart. He sometimes watched in on you and other trainees to see how you were progressing.

“Oh...No I know you're super busy preparing for your new drama. I don't want to bother you."

“You won't be,” he said. “You just need someone to fully break everything down to you.”

“Thanks. I'd really appreciate that.”

For you, Eunwoo doesn't mind doing things like this even if his schedule is going to be super busy. He can always make the time for you.

Eunwoo took you to your favorite cafe, down the street from the company's building. Instead of you ordering for yourself, Eunwoo orders for you, knowing your drink combo by heart.

You never had any real friends growing up, even with the other trainees you've been with for almost a year, you still weren't sure if you could consider them friends. But with Eunwoo, you consider him to be your best friend. You and he did the things best friends do, talk in the way best friends do, send TikTok videos back and forth, with “Lol this reminds me of you.” or “This is so us.”

Eunwoo pays for your drink like he always does. And you would shove your money at him to take it. He never does. He's a good friend.

It's when you're both sitting outside the cafe, enjoying the nice weather that Eunwoo is staring at you, watching you drink from your cup. He's staring so long that you become a little insecure.

You choke on a laugh asking, “W-Why are you staring?”

“Staring?” Eunwoo's thick dark brown cock's up.

“Yeah...At me.”

“I'm not starting.”

“You're doing it now.”

“I'm not.” Then he looks away down at his drink while folding the corners of a white paper napkin that's under his cup. “You, um... You look really pretty today.”

You laughed. He expected that. Your voice carries with the slight breeze that pushes by. “I'm not.” You said. “And after sweating all day, I'm surprised you don't think I smell.”

You raise your arm to get a whiff of yourself. Not so bad.

Eunwoo lets himself look at you. But don't full-blown stare at you. He tries to focus on the small things on you; like the yellow mustard stain on the front of your baby blue crop top that you tried your hardest to clean after lunch, then he looks at the lavender scrunchie on your wrist that he gave you back in April, you always wore it as good luck. He looks at the baby hairs on your arm. Then lastly, at the scar on your chin, you had gotten when you were five from your older cousin.

“Even after practice, you're still pretty,” he said.

Now that you think about it. This was Eunwoo's first time calling you pretty and you weren't sure why that coming from him made you feel like you were dancing on your tippy toes.

“You never called me pretty before.”

But he has a billion times in his head.

“Y/n, just accept my compliment.” he smiles. Of course he wanted to move along with the whole pretty thing because damn he wouldn't be able to explain why he thought you were pretty.

Or maybe he could. Or maybe he couldn't.

If someone were to ask him to name the five things he thought were pretty about you, he'd say, “Five isn't enough.”

“Why am I suddenly pretty?” You pressed him playfully.

Eunwoo rips the corner of the napkin under his drink, balls it in a tiny ball, and throws it at your face.

“Did I say pretty?”

“You did.”

“Hmm, I think you misheard me.”

“I didn't.”

“I think you did.” he laughs.

“Why are you denying it now?”

“Denying what?”

“That you called me pretty?”

“Did I call you pretty?”

“Eunwoo, stop messing with me,” you whined.

He winks at you getting up from the table and grabbing his cup and napkin. “I always thought you were pretty. I just never dared to actually say it out loud.” he walks away from the table.

You hop up grabbing your cup as you rush alongside Eunwoo. Slapping your hand out over his forehead, you checked for a fever.

“No fever,” you mumbled. Your hand fell away. “Do friends usually find their friends pretty?”

“Yeah, all the time,” Eunwoo said.

Yeah, but calling your friend pretty while you were in love with them was a different kind of pretty.

“Oh,” you said. You threw your cup in a trash can and so did Eunwoo.

“I think you're just as pretty.”

Eunwoo's face warms up. “D–Don't say that.”

“It's true though. Like your visuals are killer.” You gushed over him and damn, that made him want to stop walking and kiss you.

The walk back to the company was short. Your day wasn't over yet since you had vocal practice in the evening that lasted way later than you wanted to. You and Eunwoo linger in the company's lobby for a few minutes, just talking.

“I want to tell you something before you go,” Eunwoo said.

“Oh, What is it?”

Eunwoo looks around at the few people walking through the lobby, he grabs your hand pulling you to a more private area without listening ears. His heart beats a little faster. His hands get a little sweaty. His words are a little stuck now.

“I like being your friend.”

“Eunowoo, I like being your friend too!” you smiled up at him. And that man could have melted in his shoes.

“Being friends is nice, but I don't think I want to be friends anymore,” he said quietly.

“Did I do something wrong?” There's a creak in your voice.

Eunwoo cups your face with his warm hands that burn at your cheeks. “Of course not, Y/n.”

“Then why don't you wanna be friends anymore?”

“Because....” he paused. “I want something more with you than just a friendship.”

“What do you mean?”

Eunwoo playfully rolled his eyes. “I want us to be together.”

“We're together now.”

He laughs. “No, like I want us to be together together.”

“As in....” You trailed off.

“Boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Ooooh like that.” you smiled warmly.

“Yeah. Like that,” he said. “I've always been in love with you.” it's the way he says it that felt like a soft landing.

“You have?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“The first time you smiled and said hello to me.”

Falling in love with you had been easy. You made it easy for him without even knowing it.

“Oh, god, not that time when I had a milk mustache.” You made a funny face that made Eunwoo laugh.

“Yeah, that time.” That was his favorite little memory of you.

You took Eunwoo by surprise when you stood on your tippy toes and kissed him. Your kiss felt like heaven, like it was the sweetest thing, your lips perfect against his, and he could kiss you every day for hours, if that's even possible.

He kissed you back, his lips moving with urgency, like if he didn't kiss you enough or make it deeper enough you would just disappear. You feel his lips pulled into a smile.

“I love you, Y/n.”

[lixiehugs]

fanmade video : moments when nct were caring and protective of mila!!

warnings : mentions of eating disorders.

a/n : hello!! welcome to my once-a-year upload piece /hj!! i say this every time i come back, but this time i feel like i might actually start writing more. i have so many writings i have been sitting on for my girlies (esp mila), and i am dying to share them!! please wait for me!!

a/n : im not even gonna lie i kinda ate with this photo like💅🏻 (JUST IGNORE HER HAIR PLEASE😭)

"hello, everyone, and welcome back to another video on my channel! this episode will be none other than the boys of nct taking care of our producer, mila!! not to be confused with mila taking care of the boys, however (which will be a future video). these are some of the sweetest moments where mila didn't have her angry protection face on<3 enjoy the video!!"

when the boys give mila their jackets🥹

so, we all know how much mila hates puffer jackets.

like, she will do ANYTHING to get out of wearing a puffer jacket.

except when it is for a photo shoot, then she remains our professional queen🥰

but mila would rather wear like 7 layers instead of a puffer jacket bc she is so stubborn😭

like same but is it really worth it girl???

and my gal is out here in like 4°c in her leather jacket and a hoodie trying to convince the guys that she isn't cold like

MISS MA'AM WE CAN SEE YOUR BREATH?? YOUR TEETH ARE CHATTERING???

i just know that taeyong begs her to put on a heavier jacket every day, but she never does

but on this day, mila said that she thought it wasn't that cold so she thought that her leather jacket would be okay.

turns out it was not!! she was freezing because it got breezy.

most of the other boys were fine with the temperature, even having their jackets unzipped

but when they saw mila getting out of the van clutching her already zipped jacket around herself, practically trying to hide in her coat, they all went 😦😦

jeno, renjun, mark, haechan, and jaemin all came running to her with their coats😭 (jisung and chenle were cold)

she laughed and tried to play it off like she wasn't that cold, even going as far to let her hands poke out of her sleeves and let go of her tight grip on her jacket, but as soon as she did, she was wincing at the cold and looking at her members for help

without hesitation, jeno shrugged his jacket over her shoulders and zipped it up.

jaemin then tried to zip it up fully and have her put her hood up, but mila stopped him because she knew she could not take pictures like that.

basically, mila is never going to be that cold again!! not on the dreamies' watch😡

making sure mila has something to eat🥹

mila has said this herself, i'm not hating!! but she is a PICKY EATER.

like PICKY PICKY

mila said that when she first moved to korea, she would only eat "white people food" because it's all she was used to.

"i only started using the flavorings of the ramen packs after living here for like 6 months"💀

she said that she didn't even feel asian because she hated all the food and didn't know how to use chopsticks🤧

but!! that was a while ago, and mila has gotten so much better!!

as a picky eater myself, i know how hard it is to go out of your comfort zone with food.

just the fact that when she was a trainee, she would have to make her own food and take that with her whenever the boys wanted to go out makes me want to cryyyyy

but now she likes enough foods to go out with them🥹

anyways, back to the situation at hand;

in episode 2 of chillin' in the dream 8lace, when mark and jeno get the punishment of having to cook for the rest of the members, they wanted to make bibimmyeon. when jaemin came into the kitchen to help them (and also to make sure they didn't burn the kitchen down), mark asked if mila would eat bibimmyeon, to which jaemin says "yes, she will"

this is because mila used to hate bibimmyeon!! fun fact~

this situation also happened in the beginning of the 6th episode.

the boys who were awake wanted tuna and mayo fried rice (which needs fried eggs) for breakfast, and jaemin, being the angel he is, remembered that mila didn't like tuna and mayo fried rice. so, when mark asked for jaemin to scramble some eggs for him, he easily decided to make some for mila<3

when jeno stopped her from tripping

this was kind of a shock for everyone imo??

like, it's not CRAZY or anything, i just have never seen mila have any other problems walking in heels before.

but whatever, she still slayed💅🏻

anyways, at the 2020 asia artist awards, nct dream won the award for best emotive award - music.

all 8 of them stood up and walked up the stairs to the stage. though the order left mila and jeno at the back of the line.

they were all wearing matching black suits, except that mila was wearing 6 INCH HEELS instead of normal dress shoes like the guys were.

and these were like STILETTOS!! super hard to walk in for no reason

now we all know that mila can walk in heels. we've seen her slay in some stilettos in the past.

but, that does not take away from the fact that mila has said on many different occasions that she does not like wearing heels.

now, since she already doesn't like them, why on earth would the staff put her in 6 INCH STILETTOS?????? makes no sense

anyway, as she was stepping up onto the stairs, she stumbled and almost fell backwards into jeno.

jeno, of course, being the gentleman he is, caught her gently by her waist and quickly got her back onto her feet. he then made sure she was steady up the stairs by holding his hand.

once they were at the top of the 5 or so steps, he linked their arms together and walked with the rest of the group to the award presenter.

once they finished that and went back to their seats, mila and jeno were also at the end of the line because they knew mila would need a bit longer to go down the steps.

jeno went in front of her and held her hand down the stairs so she wouldn't fall 🫶🏻

haechan getting mad about mila's sasaeng

woo, this one is already making me mad, and i haven't even written anything yet😡

so, mila's infamous evil sasaeng. the one that broke into the dream dorm and attacked mila while the members were sleeping. (a/n : there will be a fic in detail on this soon!!)

not much is known in detail about this incident. all we have is the account of the sasaeng herself and the statements that have been made by SM and the members.

but what we do know is that there was a big change in how the members treated her after this happened.

there was also a big change in mila.

mila went from being happy and giddy to being quiet and reserved for the first time in a while. this was not too long after her nct2018 hardships as well, so that made everyone even more angry as it seemed like she could never catch a break.

the members, most noticeably the dreamies, all became more cold for lack of a better word.

they would go outside and have this slight look of betrayal on their faces. they would not be as happy or smiley, they would tell less jokes.

everyone was just upset.

however, haechan was arguably one of the most upset ones.

as we know, haechan is mila's roommate in the 127 dorm. but, mila also has her own room in the dream dorm, which is why she constantly moves around and splits her time between the 2 dorms. mila has said that she stays at the dream dorm more often when she does not have promotions because she likes it better over there and she likes having her own room.

so having her personal space and safety violated like this in the place that she calls "home" is just disgusting to me.

haechan went on vlive a few days after the statements were released to talk about the situation.

"how is mila doing?" he reads before placing his phone down and covering his mouth with his hands while thinking about what to say. "she's okay. she's not great, but she's doing her best. she's been staying in the 127 dorm with us. she hasn't even gone over to the dream dorm since what happened." he pauses, looking down before taking a breath in. he looks back up at the camera with a low glare, not doing a good job at trying to hide it. "mila is afraid to sleep, hell, even be in her own dorm now because of you... i hope you are ashamed of the damage you have caused." he speaks bitterly, his words obviously directed at the sasaeng.

he ended the live not long after, giving a short message to please not wait outside their dorms anymore.

mila not having money on a show to buy ice cream, so doyoung and yuta buy it for her

just mila being the cutest once again, what do ya know.

everyone was buying treats and snacks on this nct life show but mila didn't have any money :((((

she was so excited to go into the store and get snacks, but then she just went 😯😕

she quickly tried to wipe off her frown and look around the store anyway, not wanting her members to think she was upset.

when everyone had finished picking out their snacks and were in line to purchase them, taeyong noticed that mila didn't have anything.

"mila, why aren't you getting anything?" he asks, a gentle smile on his face. johnny also listens for her response. "i don't have any money." she replies, shrugging. "aigoo, i'm sure we can get you something." he pats her shoulder before going up to yuta and doyoung at the front of the line, just behind taeil who was buying his items. "doyoungie, yuta~," he calls. "yes?" they answer. "do you mind buying some snacks for our miely? she doesn't have any money." the leader asks. their eyes widen. "of course!! you can get anything you want, mila!! just be quick!" yuta says, and they grin at her. she smiles and perks up. "okay!! thank you!" she says before quickly jogging back into the ice cream aisle and picking up an oreo cone, then she goes and gets some chocolate. she brings them up to the counter with yuta and doyoung's things. "you sure you don't want anything else?" doyoung asks. "no, this is okay." she smiles. they pay for it, and she is beaming on the way out.

they would do anything for her🥹❤️‍🩹

jaemin, jeno, and mark all being attentive when mila stands up because she gets dizzy

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that it is mila sitting in the first photo with a member in front of her and that there is no skateboard in the second photo

nctzens have thought for a long time that mila is anemic.

this is due to mila's repeated mentionings that whenever she stands up or even sits up in some cases, she feels dizzy, gets tunnel vision, and gets black spots in her vision as well. she said that these are her most frequent symptoms, but they can get worse, including fainting and having her ears ring.

mila has never confirmed her having anemia. the last time she spoke of the rumors was back in 2021 where she said, "I'm not sure if i have anemia... my older sister has the same symptoms as me, but when she went to the doctor, she was told she didn't have anemia. what i can confirm is that i have low blood pressure. i'm not sure why, as high blood pressure actually runs in my family, but that has been present since i was a child. and i have talked to a doctor about this in the past, uh... orthostatic hypotension? that's what she said my symptoms sounded like. czennies, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me but thank you for the concern!"

despite no definitive diagnosis for what happens to her, it doesn't stop the other members from caring for her well.

one key example of this happened in episode 6 of chillin' in the dream 8lace. mila was refusing to get up out of bed so jaemin went in to get her. he pulled her to stand up from where she was laying quite quickly, causing her to say, "ah, jaemin, jaem, jaem, slowly, slowly, slowly! i'm dizzy." quickly remembering her condition, jaemin stopped and helped her stand up slowly, allowing her to adjust, all while holding her hands in case she were to fall over.

though this was one instance that jaemin forgot about her condition, there have been many other clips of the boys watching her get up carefully.

most of the time it is subtle actions, such as the members simply keeping an eye on her or lending a hand out to keep her steady. they often let mila walk in front of them just to prevent the possibility of her falling with no one to catch her as she often tries to power through her dizziness, thus making her more dizzy.

renjun and chenle always being sweet and helpful when she tries to speak chinese

mila tries so hard to work on her chinese these days :(( i cry

like my gal speaks 2 languages like a NATIVE and then has borderline fluency in 2 MORE, and is still trying to learn 2 MORE

like gal 😭 i can barely speak my native language (i only speak one language)

she is such an overachiever and FOR WHYYYY

but i love her 🫶🏻

though she often ends up thanking the fans in english (when mark isn't there) and in japanese, once mila tried to thank them briefly in chinese!!

mila has said before that she used to study chinese quite a bit back in 2016 when she was really close with winwin and chenle, but since then, she became more focused on japanese and lost time to study it.

she has always said that chinese was really hard for her just because of dealing with the characters. this is why she is quite good at speaking chinese but not good at reading it!

however, we all know mila is quite emotive when presenting and giving speeches, so her tones often fluctuate with her words. this was another issue for mila as she struggled to remember the tones of the words and tried to keep her voice at a neutral level.

yet despite all of these struggles, mila had been giving a short thank you to their chinese fans at an award show when she stammered and forgot what she was saying.

though this is totally normal for a foreigner trying to speak another language, mila is always super prepared for foreign language speeches, so she was caught a little off-guard.

her face went a little red, and she apologized before turning around to chenle and renjun on her left.

they were both looking at her with the cutest and most loving smiles🥹

the crowd gave some encouraging cheers as mila spoke to them for only a few seconds before turning back to the microphone and finishing her speech like a champ🫶🏻

it's just so cute to me that renle + wayV taught mila all the chinese she knows and how she's still so good at it

and how proud of her they are🥹

we choose to forget when mila was first learning chinese and renjun told her he was teaching her how to introduce herself but she was really insulting herself😭

jeno allowing her to sleep on his shoulder comfortably

mila is such a HARDWORKER!!!!!

if you disagree, you're literally wrong.

she does not have credits on almost every SM release after 2017 fOR NOTHING

so, because of her tendency to overwork herself and prioritise work over sleep and her well-being, the boys are always the first people to let her sleep instead of waking her up if they need something.

it always pains them a little bit to wake her up, even if they are about to be late because they tried to let her sleep in.

basically, if mila is showing ANY signs of being tired (it could literally be rubbing her eyes), they boys are instantly: "PLEASE SLEEP"

so, when the dreamies were in a van going to a mystery location for a fun video, mila unsurprisingly, grew drowsy.

mila was sitting next to jeno in the backseat of this van, steadily growing more and more tired.

but knowing mila, she tried to keep herself awake, not letting herself lean on the window or on her hand. this lead to her dozing off while sitting straight up, her head bobbing down lightly.

jeno was looking at his phone, not paying attention to her.

until he saw her drooping head and was like 😶

he froze for a second before slowly and gently pressing mila's head down to his shoulder, sitting up a little bit so it would be more comfortable for her.

mila did not object. she was so fucking tired.

jeno was so proud of himself as he felt mila kinda relax into him and let more of her weight rest on his shoulder.

he looked up a little with a 😌 look on his face to see jaemin filming him with a grin.

no words are exchanged as jeno's smile grows, and jaemin chuckles quietly before showing a thumbs up to the camera.

jisung and renjun sharing their umbrellas with her

now, while i'm sure all of the members would share their umbrellas with mila under the circumstance that she did not have one, we only have video evidence and jisung and renjun doing so <3

so, on this day where it was raining as nct dream were going to a schedule, mila did not have an umbrella

sooo many fans tried to spin this as mila being mistreated by the staff since all of the boys had umbrellas until another clip was released of mila giving her umbrella to a staff member

the staff repeatedly shook her head and refused, wanting mila to keep it, but she did not accept no for an answer and smiled big when the staff finally accepted.

some bodyguards around quickly tried to cover mila's head with their hands to protect her from the rain, thus catching the attention of jisung and renjun.

they both quickly came over, pushing their umbrellas toward her and not on themselves

mila immediately pushed their umbrellas back over their own heads and shooed them away.

they didn't let up and kept trying to talk to her for a few seconds.

mila laughs lightly and goes next to renjun under his umbrella, leaving jisung with a slight pout on his face.

"you're too big to share an umbrella!" mila exclaims, causing them all to laugh. the rest of their dialogue could not be heard in the video, this was the only thing intelligible.

with content expressions, mila goes under renjun's umbrella and they both put arms around each other; mila's arm going around his waist and renjun's arm going over her shoulders as they walk the short distance to the building.

nct 127 following the sidewalk rule

since the newly publicised "sidewalk rule" on social media, nctzens have brought up all the times that they have preached this before its popularity.

it's not seen as often with nct dream as every time they try (usually renjun, jeno, & jisung), mila just pushes them off and doesn't move.

this leads the boy to be very 🤨😖 because this is what their hyungs taught them to do???? why is she not accepting this gesture that the hyungs do all the time????

so, the dreamies don't really do it anymore, they just keep a watchful eye when she likes to balance on the curb of a busy road.

127 and even wayV however, are a different story.

maybe it's because they're older, but mila always listens when they guide her over to the non-road side of a sidewalk.

sometimes she looks a little 🤨 when her arm gets tugged away, but then she realises where she's standing.

most commonly, the members dragging her away from the cars are taeyong, johnny, kun, xiaojun, and doyoung. but there have been times where ten, jaehyun, and jungwoo have done it.

in the back of many nct 127 videos, most notably the ones where they are exploring the usa, mila can be seen being ushered away from the road by one or two of the members above.

it's just super cute and makes all czennies swoon over the neos' politeness 😵‍💫

the dreamies comforting her when she tries to be strong🥹

this day is not to be confused with the 191117 dream show ending meant!!!

a/n : lmk if i should make something that says in detail what mila said in her ending ment on the 191117 show!!

this was the first of the three dream shows back to back (191115).

mila said her ment not long after jisung did, so she was already emotional when it got to her turn.

jisung was crying as he tried to say his ment, so mila was already sad because she went to comfort him.

now mila HATES seeing jisung cry because it almost always makes her cry with him, so she was hugging jisung (not photo) before her turn.

she had intended for her ment to go a different route, but when it was her turn to talk, she just kinda let her words take her, not following her originally planned direction.

"aw... it's only the first day of the dream show, and i'm already crying ㅠㅠ i thought i would at least be able to be calm on the first day. but because of jisung~~ he made me sad ☹️." there is a brief pause where mila just looks around at the crowd with stars in her eyes. "but really, i can't blame him..." she looks down and swallows thickly before looking back up and blinking back her tears. the other members make various noises of teasing and telling her not to cry, some even coming closer, but mila takes a step back and laughs, telling them to go away. "no, no, i'm okay. i just need a second..." she flaps her hands as a way of shooing them, obviously growing more uneasy, stressed, and upset. with a deep breath, she starts again. "the members don't know this but," she starts, gaining the attention of all the boys. "before the show started today, i was crying in the bathroom because i was worried that this would be the start of our last shows and they wouldn't be strong enough... and i can't help but feel like it's my fault because..." she looks down again, this time for longer as she tries to hold back her tears. she doesn't succeed. tears fall, and her breathing starts to turn into small gasps and hiccups. chenle and haechan both come closer to her, haechan saying "aigoo, mila-yah..." and chenle saying something like "no, that's not..." and mila just taking a step back and flapping her hands to get them not to touch her. she knows that if she lets them comfort her, she will start crying. she wants to finish her ment first. "because i have had big inputs on nct dream's music, and if it's coming to an end..." a particular gasp leaves her lips with a small cry that reaches the microphone, making the crowd whine. the boys come up to her again. she tries to push them away again, but not as much as before. "...then i must have done something wrong." she cries, a deep wail leaving her chest as her hands come to cover her face, muffling her gasps but still allowing them to be picked up by the microphone. the crowd goes quiet, save for the growing volume of whines and telling her that's not true. jaemin pulls her into him, and she wraps her arms around him tightly, her cries into him now being picked up by his mic. chenle, haechan, and jeno are all around them rubbing mila's back as renjun tries to talk while comforting jisung at the same time, who had grown emotional all over again by mila's words.

in less than 2 minutes, mila had pulled away, immediately being met by the faces of her members, presumably asking if she was okay, to which she nods. a tissue is given to her by haechan and she dabs her face clean of tears while fanning her face. chenle helps fan her face, as well.

she keeps the tissue in her hand to repeatedly wipe her running nose as the others continue talking. chenle stays next to her this whole time with his arm around her and his head on her shoulder.

when mila twitched in her sleep and yuta helped 🥹

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that mila is sleeping in the second one and not on her phone :)

it is a somewhat well-known fact that during stressful times, mila twitches in her sleep.

this info is not from sasaengs btw!!! mila has said this herself along with the members🥰

mila has said that she has done this since she was a kid and it usually means that she is juuust on the edge of falling asleep but not actually asleep.

this is why she hates it.

her stress prevents her from falling asleep when she so desperately needs it.

she will be drifting until she twitches and then she's awake again ☹️

so, when nct 127 were getting ready for a favorite (vampire) stage, mila fell asleep on one of the dressing room sofas while waiting for her turn for her makeup and hair.

in the background of an nct 127 fun video (like in the dressing room) she was waiting on the couch patiently when yuta sat down after finishing his look. she casually laid her head in his lap, which was nothing unusual (as we all know how much she loves yuta🤭)

she scrolled on her phone for a bit, not paying attention to anything and not being bothered by the conversations of her members and the staff.

eventually, she plopped her phone next to her face on the couch and closed her eyes, not moving at all from her original position.

due to her lack of movement, yuta thought that she was still awake. this was until the twitching started. yuta knew what it meant when mila started twitching like this, so he took a quick look at her, saw she was sleeping and leaning back in his spot before bringing his free hand to her hair.

he knew how much mila LOVES having her hair played with and how much it calms her down.

he softly twirled the strands and gave her head a light massage, instantly stopping her twitching and allowing her to sleep calmly before getting ready.

when mila had to be woken up for her turn in the hair and makeup chair, yuta pleaded for her to go last so she could get some extra rest in 🥹

when it was really time, and she had to go, yuta woke her up gently with a pout, cooing at her tired face

mila collapsing on stage

as stated previously, we all know about mila's low blood pressure. this causes her to become dizzy, faint, etc.

but there is one more thing i have neglected to talk about as i do not want to interpret it incorrectly.

and that is mila's history with eating disorders.

everything i will say has already been said by mila herself, her members, or SM.

mila has always had problems not eating enough throughout her entire childhood due to her dedication to her craft(s).

when she was really young and did gymnastics and dance, she would often forget to eat and just do acrobatics the whole day.

this is extremely unhealthy and dangerous as both gymnastics and dance are very demanding sports and require lots of sustenance.

regardless, mila has managed to take care of herself up until around late 2017-early 2018.

mila said that due to a multitude of things that i will not be getting into right now, she spent all of her time working in the studio producing/writing music or perfecting routines, and working on singing/raps. at this time she also focused her remaining time on her studies for her end-of-high school exams.

mila said that during this point in her life, she felt "guilty" taking time out just for herself. she felt like she always needed to be doing something productive.

food did not fall into this category.

mila would sacrifice eating over completing her schoolwork and idol/producer duties.

this caused her to experience a lot of burnout and to faint often because of stress and malnutrition.

though since then, mila has recovered, and takes care of herself (according to her and the members), she still has times where she can revert slightly.

like i said, she has been somewhat this way since she was a child, so it is easy to forget.

one big example of this was in early 2020 after a kick it stage.

this was one of those prerecorded stages due to covid starting to affect the industry.

mila slayed the stage, giving her all and doing her absolute best. you could not notice anything wrong when she was performing.

but after the cameras cut, and all that was left was stuff that would not go on tv, mila collapsed.

she was stood in her ending position, waiting for all the cameras to cut. she wasn't really paying attention, but in the video, you could see just how fast she was breathing and that she was swaying slightly in her stance.

once the other members moved and began to bow to the staff, mila's knees just crumbled, and she fell.

she landed on her knees and hands, her hair covering her face as she heaved in air. then she slumped over kinda on her stomach but still on her knees and elbows.

the other members didn't do anything for a moment. it's unclear whether they didn't notice or if they thought she was just tired from the demanding routine.

the first member to go over to her was taeyong. he looked a little nervous and kinda speed-walked over to her.

he crouched down next to her and moved to look at her face, moving some of her hair out of the way.

none of what they are saying can be heard, so all that we can assume is that he was asking her if she was okay.

he gets her to sit up and holds both of her hands in his. her eyes are closed, and she's still breathing heavily, obviously still really tired.

he asks her something else, and she shakes her head weakly before starting to slump over again. taeyong looks around for a moment before standing halfway up and pulling mila up with him.

she picks her up bridal style with mila barely clinging onto him as he carries her offstage. her eyes are closed as he does this.

there was a lot of fan uproar at this. fans were attacking SM for making her work so hard and demanding to give her more rest.

there was no response or acknowledgement from SM, the nct members, or mila herself.

when mila fell asleep on vlive

this vlive is actually one of my favorites just because of this interaction!!

it's just so sweet!!!

so basically, mila was on vlive in her shared room with haechan at the 127 dorm.

this had been after a day of schedules (we don't know exactly what) and she was just chitchatting about what happened that day and some things she saw on social media.

this wasn't unusual as mila had been going live more recently when this happened.

mila did say that the schedule ran a little later that day and that she was tired but that she also wanted to stay up and talk with czennies <333.

however, about 25 mins into the live, mila had been laying on her bed with the phone leaning against her open laptop screen. her head was resting on her folded elbows as she read the comments and talked contently.

due to this position and her growing tiredness, it was not difficult for mila to fall asleep.

fans thought that she was just resting her eyes for a moment and that she was still awake until it had been like 2 minutes of pure silence.

then all the comments were mixtures of "omg is mila asleep???" and "she's so cute aaaaa" and "sm really needs to let her rest smh"

she had only been out for around 10 minutes when haechan came in.

they share this room, so it is not a surprise that he came in unannounced.

the door cannot be seen from the vlive, but it can be heard closing and footsteps getting closer.

haechan appears behind mila to the side and quietly says "aigoo, mila fell asleep with her laptop on, let's fix this for my twin, eh?" he then reaches for her hands to move them off the keyboard to close the laptop when he notices that her phone is actually on vlive😭. "oh! hello~~" he greets cutely, giving a wave as he picks up the phone. "thank you for watching over mila, czennies. i will take over and make sure that she sleeps well! goodnight!"

he then ends the live, and we can assume that he finished getting all her stuff away so she could sleep<3

afterwards, on twitter, haechan was trending for being a lovely caring member as he acted so sweet without even knowing that he was being recorded

johnny stopping mila from falling off stage

okayyyy, so we all know that mila isn't clumsy, as she loves to remind us, but she lowkey is (don't tell her i said that).

so what transpired, was during the singapore show on the neo city - the origin tour in 2019. the stage was kinda an upside-down T shape with a little B-stage at the end.

mila was not paying attention to anything other than nctzens <3.

during replay (am 1:27), mila was looking into the crowd, as she does, with that big smile on her face.

she was squinting a bit, trying to read some of the signs that fans had up while also trying to dance around at the same time.

she was at the part in the stage where the B-stage starts. at the corner, she was leaning over to look at something. she was standing on that lower platform next to the stage that looks like she's on stage, but she's not really on it, you know???

anyway, once she finished reading, she turned towards the catwalk again and quite literally STEPPED OFF THE FUCKING STAGE

and she says she's not clumsy😑

but THANK GOD johnny was coming to the B-stage and was at the end of the catwalk. he SNATCHED her up and carried her for a few seconds before putting her down in the middle of the B-stage, where he was sure she couldn't fall off.

he looked at her for a minute, hands on her shoulders as they talked. none of what they were saying was picked up by their microphones, so we don't know what they said🤷‍♀️

mila nodded at him, and they both walked back down the catwalk to the main stage with hands around each other. probably just johnny being extra cautious now😖

none of the other members seemed to notice (probably a good thing because you KNOW taeyong would have scolded her).

after the show, mila went on her bubble to respond to czennies.

"i fell off the stage? no i didn't!!!! you're lying!!!" she joked with lots of emojis. she thanked them for their concern and promised it wouldn't happen again <3.

renjun yelling at the sasaengs calling her😳

i do not want to be on renjun's bad side 😳😳😳😳

so this happened in late 2019 when mila, renjun, jeno, and jaemin were all doing a vlive together.

it's very similar to what happened to jeno on the 200114 vlive with renjun, chenle and jeno.

mila was trying to read the comments on their vlive on her phone but she couldn't because sasaengs kept calling her.

she didn't even bat an eye as she repeatedly swiped the calls away, declining them and going back to what she was trying to do.

but IT WAS CONSTANT!!!

this was like 30 calls in 2 minutes like GALLLLLL

with each call, you could see mila growing more and more irritated with her side eyes to the camera :(

it got really bad when she tried to show something to the camera, and she got a call, so she swiped it away and showed the camera again. then she got another call, swiped it away and tried to show her screen again. when she got a third call, renjun stood up and took her phone from her hand, saying "give it to me"

he walked out of frame and began yelling at the sasaeng (as he should 💅🏻)

mila looked at him like 😳😏😊 and then started talking really loudly to cover up what renjun was saying.

it's hard to make out, but renjun can be heard yelling at the sasaengs saying things like "stop calling mila or else i will report your number and press charges"

basically scary renjun

he came and sat back down like 😒 and mila smiled at him and gave him a side hug to express her gratefulness <3333

"i hope you all enjoyed this video!! please keep supporting nct and their activities! stay tuned for my next video! bye!!!"

[hyukassubi]

🍪08 | Ditch The Navy

♡𓂃 Pairing -> (Former) Knight! Huening Kai x Seamstress! Reader

♡𓂃 Synopsis -> Growing up, you never believed in purpose, nor destiny. Simply following the path of life, becoming a royal seamstress didn't at all seem like a bad idea. Only thing is, it wasn't your idea.

Your best friend who just so happens to be the crowned prince knows what it's like to grow up having limited choices, and Prince Kang Taehyun doesn't want the same happening to you. The commander knight, in turn, has other plans for the future. After Huening Kai closes a profound chapter of his life, he seeks refuge from the chaos of his past, opting for a cozier lifestyle instead.

... And it just so seems that those plans wouldn't be fulfilled without you.

♡𓂃 Wc -> 1,184

Six years.

It took Huening Kai six years to finally get to where he is today.

And, God did he feel like he’s about to throw up at any given moment.

In a good way.

In the best way.

Today marks the day he will not only officially own the title of a knight, but as Prince Taehyun’s right-hand man.

Basically automatically securing his position as Commander Knight for future endeavours once they grow older, as Taehyun had explained it to him weeks ago.

So yeah, basically he’s going from trainee to the head of the knight crew overnight.

Totally not daunting, at all.

Pressure aside, this was truly more than he could ever ask for. It’s what has gotten the boy kicking his feet in the air back at his dorm room late at night, talking to his supportive peers with an unwipable grin on his face, live love laughing 24/7.

And the best part about all of this is that the Queen accepted his one and only special request for the grand ceremony: A specially tailored armour for the event.

The Queen would’ve ordered the best seamstresses in the kingdom to get a proper shiny gold fit tailored just for the young knight.

However, the young knight in question didn’t believe anyone could possibly make an outfit quite as delectable as you did.

You had never in your life made an armour before.

In the dressing studio, you sit and stare, on a button-based stool, heel on the footrest, elbow on your knee, chin on your hand. Thinking thoughts. Your cutting-edge stare sending the boy in front of you statue-still, his back needle-straight. It was like he was barely breathing.

"...You don't like the navy, do you?" You point out the heaps of deep blue radiating off of his cape.

Huening Kai nods slowly.

"Yeah, no, let's ditch the navy."

Scrapping the typical armour down the laundry shoot, you opted for something less… scary. Something that didn’t scream ‘I’m am half transformer with fourteen working rifles in my pelvis and canons in my pectorals’ or ‘COMMANDER KNIGHT HERE AT YOUR SERVICE, BOW BEFORE ME.’

You took a long look at his shoulders, the broad of his chest, his hinged waistline. In your mind, an outfit comes together...

A shimmery silver-white blouse made of silk with transparent polymer buttons, a white fur collar draping the sides of his shoulders with a matcha-green tint on its ends, a bulky brown woven belt over a pair of formal white trousers. To still achieve that knight look, on the first half of his body, light inked sketches of vines lining his chest and shoulder plating would be attached over his shoulders under the fur collar, and the second half of his body would be covered in metal plating.

This could work.

This could absolutely work.

Huening Kai wanted to explode into a million different pieces and never be put together again.

In this palace he’s rarely ever been inside of, in this small studio filled with fabrics and timeless clothes and short ceilings where the air squeezes in on him, you’ve been so dangerously close to the poor boy for the past half an hour, measuring and readjusting his breastplate and the process was so grueling so torturous so heavenly all at the same time and he can’t take it anymore.

It didn’t help at all that you were his designer.

Taehyun wouldn’t have ever guessed it either, you in the place of a professional seamstress, at sixteen? He knows his bestie is super talented-gorgeous-magnificent-show-stopping-jaw-dropping but what are the odds?

The entire time it was just the two of you and Huening Kai didn’t know why that made him feel weird and mushy and explosive, as if the both of you have never hung out one on one before.

Perhaps all those other times were different.

Because he was a knight-in-training.

He was at the palace grounds training for his future and you, too, were at the palace grounds for seemingly no reason at all.

He’d stare at the sidelines hoping you’d watch and of course you do, you always do, even when the heat threatens to bake you alive, you’d tail along a crochet kit or embroidery supplies and watch him and he’d catch you staring and then his insides start feeling weird but he just can’t look away.

And even when he wasn’t training, he’d mess around with you and Taehyun in the palace gardens or village streets as children do. You’d navigate Huening Kai to places he neverknew existed, give him free cookies because your mother didn’t mind it, watch as Taehyun rode his pegasi-filled carriages home because the sun is setting and it’s curfew hours.

Countless of times, on the sidewalks at golden hour, just the two of you in opened space, talking and talking and talking.

Huening Kai crying over tough training days and you taking sharp breaths whenever the boy involuntarily breaks down.

It felt like ages ago since Huening Kai last shed a teardrop.

Huening Kai snaps back to reality.

He isn’t outside, in the village, where the space is open and a buzz.

This… This was different.

The small room provided little to no privacy.

Your hand is on his chest (technically his breastplate that was over his blouse that was directly over his chest but tomato tomahto, it is what it is) pushing forward, wincing at the material once you’ve realized, again, it just won’t fit.

“Kai, you’re so big…”

Huening Kai nearly lost it. “Excuse me?”

“Oh no it’s just… you’ve grown. Like really grown.” You pulled the plating off of Huening Kai like a rabbit playing tug of war with the leafy end of a carrot.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, not at all. It’s a good thing, actually, ‘cause like, finally, you’re not so tiny and miniature anymore.” Heaving a sigh, you set the metal plating down, reaching for another much bigger piece.

You chuckled. Internally. Like, a brainfart.

Why on Earth would he think growing up is a bad thing?

For the past six years, Huening Kai was literally a full-sized head shorter than you.

He was and still is very timid, though.

In a kennel of bulldogs, he’s the only chihuahua.

In a sea of stars, he burns the brightest.

Did you not notice? These past few years, did you not see him passing over your shoulder? Did you not catch the arch of his nose sharpening? His broadening shoulders, the muscle he’s gained over the years? Did he get a perm???

“I’m catching onto you and Taehyun, aren’t I?” Huening Kai muttered as you placed yet another breastplate over his chest.

You slouched over, relief flooding you.

It fits perfectly.

A hint of a smile swatches across your cheeks, and perhaps it was an odd, uncommon thing to feel at the age of sixteen, but, nostalgia blooms in your chest and you wonder if Huening Kai feels the same way. “I will actually cry if you outgrow the both of us, but then again, I think you're already doing that.”

Previous | Masterlist | Next

♡𓂃A/n: uh oh... An ominous ending has been spotted!! Had soooo much fun writing the nostalgia factor during these scenes (and the tension, too!)

♡𓂃Tags: @sweetheartsaku @imcringebutimfree @i-like-to-read-at-4am @pengningie @marloree @stormy1408 @blossommi @flaminghotyourmom

Reblog & review if you like my work !!

[pinkbrries]

𝐀 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝.

➞ SUMMARY. Maybe making new friends wasn’t that bad at all, right?

↳ TW: nothing? as far as i know

↳ WORD COUNT: 1.7k words

➞ ERA: PRE-DEBUT

↳ [a/n: here is full scenario for june!! we love to see it<3 finally we know who is the best friend june was referring to👁👁 hope u enjoy this one !!] // bold words are in english // this is not proofread

SUMMER OF 2012

“Can you please hurry up, Junnie? We’re gonna be late!” A scoff is heard and then, the woman part of the staff gasps in feigned shock, “ya! don’t give me that attitude, young lady!”

One small chuckle can be heard, followed by the sound of light steps making their way to the front door: a ten-year-old june appears on the sight of the woman, the usual bright smile she always wears is adorning her face.

“Sorry unnie! I was just trying really hard to make my ponytail look good,” she pouts as she walks out of the room and closes the door behind her, seeing that her friends were already walking towards the elevator and pressing the button to call the metallic box over. “You know how ugly can get after the dance class!”

The woman slightly laughs, patting her shoulder and nodding. “You’re right, Minjun.”

Entering the elevator and hearing her friends talk, June starts wondering what she was going to be learning in today’s class, a tingle of excitement spreads through her tiny body and she can’t help but smile again at the thought.

This was her second year as a trainee, but she was the youngest out of the selected group to travel to Los Angeles and train there for a month during summer to refine their skills.

Minjun always wanted to go on a summer camp just like her friends back in England, and even if the experience wasn’t even a close one (because her friends would play around and Minjun would have to train from early morning until seven p.m), it was good enough for her.

Stretching has always been the easiest part for June, it was as if she was born to do this.

People around her that would also take the class were always nagging about stretching, but to her, it was her favorite part.

It allowed June to think about stuff like, how the weather was so hot in Los Angeles and how she preferred the cold season because it reminded her of the white-ish snow falling on the green, pine trees outside her house back in London, or how people here didn’t say ‘pardon’ and instead said ‘sorry’ if someone accidentally crashed with you on the busy downtown streets.

Or how there was a boy sitting on the other side of the busting room, a slight older boy that she hasn’t seen before (and well, it’s not like she has been in LA for a lot of days, since they had arrived like, four days ago) but it definitely sparked curiosity in her since… well,

He looked like he knew what he was actually doing.

“Okay, perfect! Let’s take a break,” the choreographer claps while turning around to face the class, “we’ll start filming in five, okay?”

She hears humming and more affirmative responses around her, the choreographer walks away and June takes this little time given to steal some more glances at the newcomer without getting distracted.

“—He looks korean,” she hears one of the trainees sitting beside her whispering and nodding, “I think Yoonah said she heard him talking in korean.”

“He’s a trainee… and I think he’s the only one from his company, I saw him entering with two persons, they told him they would be waiting outside—“

“How do you know that, Minkyu!?”

The boy raises both shoulders, a cheeky smile adorning his face. “I don’t know, maybe I just overheard a little.”

“Maybe you’re just nosy,” Moon, another girl there, rolls her eyes. And while the group of trainees starts discussing and laughing, June decides on taking mental notes about the lonely boy sitting in a corner of the crowded room.

He looked like he was kinda the same age as her, maybe a little bit older like the trainees that were with her, he had dark hair and kind but shy brown eyes, and he looked pretty tall.

Pouting in thought, she glances at the group of people beside her, and then she returns her eyes towards the stranger.

Yeah, June liked the other trainees, but they were… not her type of people at all. Sometimes they were a little too competitive with each other, and while Minjun tried to keep it friendly with all of them, she knew she couldn’t trust them since they always bad mouthed each other at their backs, as if that would make them debut or something.

Sigh. Maybe making new friends wasn’t that bad at all, right?

Standing from her seat, she makes her direction towards the stranger that captivated her curiosity, smiling a little when he looks up and locks eyes with her.

“Hi, hello!” Minjun says with an excited tone, standing in front of the boy and waving her hand in enthusiasm.

The boy went from confused, to nervous, to confused again, the timid boy blinks twice and mutters a greeting back, his hesitant hands doing an awkward gesture, making June smile.

In less than five seconds, June decides that she likes him because he seemed kind enough for her, and yeah, she might be ten and maybe she didn’t not know a lot about life, but this young stranger seemed nice.

Sitting in front of him and crossing her legs, Minjun beams brightly at him, extending a hand to greet him.

“Hi! My name is June, what’s your name?” Before the boy can answer, June gasps when she suddenly remembers something, “oh wait, do you speak korean? Because I do. Do you want us to speak in korean or english?”

Stunned by the sudden words coming quickly by the shorter girl’s mouth, the dark haired boy can’t help but let out a giggle.

“Uhm—,” he smiles slightly, extending his hand too so he can answer the greeting. “Yes, I’m korean, I don’t know a lot of english, so—“

“It’s okay! I’m korean too!” June interrupts again, and just like that, she starts making small conversation with the boy.

To the boy, there was something peculiar about how the girl talked with him with so much emotion: as if the both of them have been friends of each other for years and they just met after so long. It was a pleasing feeling; it made him feel comfortable and like home.

That afternoon, Minjun spends her time getting to know someone new, and when her time of training that day is almost over, she realizes that maybe she just found someone that really understands her.

The dark haired boy is four years older than her, he’s from Busan, and he’s also a trainee (so the information she overheard by her fellow company trainees was right) from a small company, the company’s name not really sticking to her.

“So, you’re debuting in a year?” June asks, eyes widening at the new information she just discovered. The boy nods.

“Yeah, I started training some months ago but my dance skills are… not that advanced,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck in slight embarrassment, June giggles at that. “So my company decided on sending me here to take some lessons.”

June hums, pouting, deep in thought.

Walking together to where their water bottles were located, June grabs her drink but doesn’t open it, instead, she just admires the object between both of her hands.

“Debut”; a word that every single trainee gets prepared to hear, and it usually means good news. It means that your hard work has finally paid off, that you’re going to show the world what you’re capable of.

A word that Minjun only has heard, but it was never directed to her.

He’s debuting in a year, and he just trained for months… must be nice.

“What about you, June?”

“Hmm?”

Taking her out of her deep thoughts, the boy gulps down the rest of his water and cleans his mouth with the back of his hand, a sheepish smile adorning his lips.

“What about you?” he repeats the same question, tilting his head a little, “when are you debuting?”

“Oh–“

Yeah, “oh.”

“–Uhm,” the girl hesitates for a second, shrugging and trying to smile again, “I don’t know, uhm, actually this is my second year as a trainee, but— but I’m sure that, maybe when I go back to Korea, I’ll get put in a line-up!”

The boy nods excitedly, giving her a thumbs up. “I’m sure your company will debut you soon! You’re really talented!”

June lights up upon hearing this, and before she can answer, a call of her name makes the both of them turn their gazes to where the voice is coming from.

It was Minjun’s manager.

“Minjun-ah, it’s time to go!”

She looks up at the clock hanging up on the wall, widening her eyes at seeing that her lessons are already over. She sighs.

“Coming!”

“We’ll be waiting for you outside!”

She just nods, looking again at the taller boy in front of her. He gives her a toothy grin, nodding.

“I guess we’ll keep seeing each other, right?”

She giggles, “I come to this studio three times a week, tomorrow I have lessons on a different one,” she adds, the boy’s shoulders dropping at hearing that. “But! wait, does your company let you use a phone?” He nods, “give me your number and your kakaotalk id! We can keep communicating there!”

“Of course!”

Minjun runs towards her bag, takes out a tiny notebook and her glittery gel pink pen and hands it out to the boy, making him laugh.

After the exchange of numbers, she waves goodbye to the boy and high-fives with him, making a promise on seeing each other again.

Minjun starts walking away, eyeing the boy’s cute handwriting and— wait.

She doesn’t even know his name!

“Hey!” She runs back quickly, taking out the pen, the boy looking at her in expectation. “What’s your name?”

The boy can’t help but start laughing, realizing that he never gave her his name, but they spent all day talking and laughing together.

“Jungkook. My name is Jeon Jungkook.”

Scribbling it down, she nods and gives him a thumbs up.

“Nice to meet you Jungkook oppa!” Minjun says enthusiastically, walking backwards while waving him goodbye, “hope we can meet again soon!”

And just like that, the girl turns around and starts running towards the main gate, a 14-year-old Jungkook watching her disappear with a smile adorning his features.

taglist: @curly-fr13s

[pinievsev]

Hiii it’s me again 🤭‼️ (the one who requested the short tempered!minjae x arrogant reader)

sooo lately I’ve been craving for fluff/comfort one shot , sooo maybe could you do a sumin x reader ? liiike reader is either a trainee under kq orrr the 11th members of xikers (like they live in the same dorm as them)

and like reader come in sumin’s room to ask for cuddle cuz it’s been tough today at the company ?

Anyway hope you had a good day/will have a good day , take care

LOVE YA🫶

SUMIN X GN! READER!

Practice

!------------!

Sumin X GN!reader

Warnings: maybe like one swear word, established relationship, kisses-?. Really short, I just got home from school.

© The-Lemon-Boy on Tumblr

You groaned as you fell back on the floor of the practice room, you've been in here for the past 6 hours practicing.

You just couldn't get the choreography right, Minjae tried helping you but he had to go so you insisted on staying late after practice. So that's 3 hours of practice on your own. You stared at the ceiling. Your rest being interrupted by the sound of the door opening, Making you look up

There stood sumin holding a bag in one hand and a two cups of coffee in the other.

"Weren't you going to go home?" You questioned the boy, sitting upright. "I was. But Minjae told me you stayed behind so I came to check on you".

He moved to sit next to you handing you your coffee. You took it thankfully, taking a long sip "you're awesome" he smiled at you and patted your head.

"You should rest a bit ya know" you shook your head at him "can't. I need to get this choreography down by tomorrow."

He nudged you softly "tomorrow night. We can practice in the morning".

"You don't have to-" he cut you off with a peck on your lips "bullshit. I want to. Now get up" he stood up pulling you along.

You groaned as you fell off the couch of the dorms, rubbing your face with both hands. Sumin following after you, falling on top of you. He adjusted your position so you were on top of him instead and hugged you close.

"I need to change" you said trying to stand up. "In a bit. We haven't had alone time all dayyyy" he whined "yeah and we still don't" you informed sitting up and pointing to hunter and yechan standing by the kitchen door.

"Fineee" you got up and grabbed a pair of fresh clothes from your room then making your way to the bathroom for a quick shower.

Once you finished you entered your room, Sumin was already laying in your bed, making grabby hands at you. You chuckled and made your way over falling down next to Him.

He pulled you to him, burying his face in your neck. "Now sleep" you didn't answer, placing your arms securely around him and closing your eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked using his hands to pull himself up "for being here. I'd probably still be practicing if it wasn't for you" he smiled sheepishly at you

"I know, I'm an awesome boyfriend" you smacked his hand and pulled him back down but he pulled himself right back up, puckering his lips at you.

You laughed at him but before he could protest you kissed him and pulled him down once again.

"Now. We sleep" you said and his laugh was the last thing you heard before falling asleep, the exhaustion taking over your body.

[casablancarossa]

Stolen Night.

<<an [Angsty] taemin x reader scenario>>

Synopsis: You and Taemin had history, and not all history is rainbows and roses and now, you two are going deal with that history whether you two liked it or not.

Pairings : taemin x female!reader

Genre : Angst

Content Warning : Language, Alcohol, Implied Sex

Author's Note: I love a good angsty moment, only time I get to imagine Taemin as anything but baby cheese.

This is a long one so get comfy and..

Enjoy your stay♥️

In the long series of desks, placed side by side with little nightlight for the students who preferred an evening study session, your hunched frame sat somewhere in the middle close to the nearest working water machine that would dispense hot water for your tea. Surround you was; Onew, who had his head down, resting on his arms, half asleep, placed on your right; Kibum who was perched on a seat, on the other side of Onew, knees pressed up to his chest, reading the latest Vogue magazine; Minho, who has focused on rewatching last night's football match with earphones on, sitting right in front of Kibum, and of course your 'boyfriend', but not, Taemin, who has sat in front of you doing nothing but practically throwing daggers with his eyes.

You could barely make an audible sigh to catch their attention, quietly mumbling to yourself that you shouldn't have told them where you were. It was fortunate that despite how noticeable the boys are, none of the other students in the library have made a fuss. That or they have been really discreet and you'll probably wake up tomorrow seeing photos plastered with the headline. 'Ex-SM Trainee supported by boyfriend and group'. You iterate to yourself once more, a little louder this time, they shouldn't have bothered visiting you, feeling more like a burden than usual.

"Yeah, but who else is going to tell you to chill and take a break..", Onew's voice was slightly slurred and barely the hum of a whisper, but you manage to pick up on every word, rolling your eyes at the fact that he was correct.

You pondered in silence, pursing your lips and smiling as you lean to ruffle Onew's hair, thanking him and by extension the rest of the guys for making time to see you.

When you boldly made the choice to pursue further education in Japan, you'd think that it would be your your parents, who would be sad and pleading you that you can pursue the same course in Seoul, or your younger siblings crying that they would be lost without you, but those experiences paled in comparison to how the men, sitting in the library with you now, reacted. At first, they thought it was a joke, but when suddenly you needed Kibum to simplify an application form so you could properly fill it up, the news suddenly hit them like a wall, which ensued an elaborate 3-month plan to find ways to make you stay.

You could only laugh at the stupidity of it all. It wasn't like you were travelling halfway across the world. You were essentially a small pond away and if anything the boys could visit you anytime them wanted when they had a long period of promotions in Japan.

"I appreciate you guys coming, but Taemin looks like he is regretting not using his maknae privilege to go back to the dorm, instead he is staring at me like he wants to kill me", you whisper harshly while spinning your head to see if your comment was loud enough to disturb the other students in the area.

His eyes darkened with every glare, tucking his legs further into the table so that he could throw his leg out, kicking you at the shins which elicited a yelp out of you followed by dead silence at the other library goers look at you. How could he not be so annoyed, when you barely greeted him and have been talking to him informally and seem to dote extra hard on the other but not him.

Your face scrunches, throwing an annoyed look at Taemin before casting a pleading one towards Minho, who sighed and reached to flick Taemin at the back of the head. Taemin in response tried to lunge towards Minho with a fake taunt, fist pulled back and he would have tried to push the fake out if it weren't for Key who finally raised his head from what he was reading, ripping out a hiss through his teeth, the look of annoyance on his face. It was enough to placate Minho and Taemin from turning a fake out to an actual hissy fight but Key had ulterior motives, leaving his seat to take the spare one beside you, resting his arm on the backrest of your chair and leaning in close to you.

"Look, no one has been more supportive than I have in you leaving the company, but going to Tokyo for a fine arts course is a bit of a left field"

"Get to your point oppa", you groan, throwing your head back to look at him.

The sudden closeness between the two of you irritated the dark haired male sitting across you, folding his arms and looking at any direction but in front of him.

"I'm just saying, you're a talented person, you ran rings around idols who have been around for much longer and you're a triple threat..." Key further spoke, his eyes soften as if memories just played in his head in one big reel.

"And if it weren't for Taemin and the company, I would have been under the label... but I didn't and now I can't even work on the stuff I worked on" your voice dropped before looking away, stealing a glance to see that Taemin had heard your statement and responded with a clenched jaw after hearing his name so specifically mentioned.

The reason why Taemin was your boyfriend, but technically not, was because it was all just for show to save face.

Almost a year ago, a set of photos released by Dispatch from an anon source, caused waves with netizens. Said photos were primarily photos of Taemin at a nightclub in Spain, with one one in particular was a photo of Taemin engaging in intimate relations with a random girl on the dancefloor. The photo was blurry at best and most people had doubts if it even was Taemin. Normally, this would have been swept under a rug, especially since a lot of people thought it wasn't him and for the people who did think it was Taemin, were hellbent on finding out who the girl was as nasty comments flied in, cursing the innocent party, calling them a whore for ruining Taemin's image.

However, if SM controlled the press by saying it was a photo of Taemin and his girlfriend, then maybe fans would be more forgiving. Coincidentally, it wasn't just Taemin, but you and the rest of the SHINee members were spotted at that club in Spain.

That's where you come into the picture. You had been waiting to be debuted under SM and debut a rebranded image of yourself. Originally starting as a self-produced indie artist, your sporadic attendance in music shows and the rumours of your debut with SM, meant that you could be very well acquainted with SHINee.

If SM could spin that you and Taemin had just begun a relationship prior to the photo, then maybe netizens wouldn't call their 'ace' a sudden playboy, making out with random girls when he is drunk.

It took about 2 months after the official statement was released before the knives were suddenly turned towards you. People were calling you a sell-out for signing with a company. People were saying that you were using your relationship with Taemin to launch your music career. They know nothing, you thought to yourself. Meanwhile Taemin, came out of it unscathed, being a private person, meant he didn't have to worry about posting about you constantly and if you were in his posts, usually it is with other SHINee members.

By default, SM had put your debut on standby, stating that debuting you so soon after your scandal might not generate good PR, while Taemin only had his comeback pushed back by 2 months.

After almost a year wait after the incident, you gave up waiting being in the good graces of the company and just left for Japan. Now that you think about it, you technically weren't out of your contract, but you haven't been home in 2 months and yet you and Taemin were still pretending to be a couple in public. Your consistent closeness with SHINee would raise questions if you and Taemin ever 'broke up' and malicious rumour could pop out again.

Your train was thoughts was rudely cut off with Key leaning in to blow air onto your cheeks, causing a shock in your system before suppressing your giggle and smacking him in the arm. "Earth to Y/N, I was asking if you just want to rent out the book and I promise I will help you study in the dorm with wine"

"What? She's staying the night?" Taemin rejected the thought of you entering the dorm, which broke your heart slightly.

"She's your girlfriend, and also she's our friend, of course she can.." Minho whispered, flicking his wrist to smack Taemin on the shoulders with a sly grin.

"She's not my ---"

"She's not your girlfriend.. we get it.. jeeze Taem, you'd think you hate the poor girl" Onew interjects in Taemin's rebuttal, finally sitting up and stretching his arms out before resting one over your shoulder, tussling your hair gently.

Seeing his hyungs so close to you, practically hit a nerve in Taemin, although as much as he wants to deny it doesn't, it does. His chest rises with a deep breath in before controlling his breath out, trying to calm himself, rolling his eyes before turning his head to look at Minho who was now playing with the pages of Kibum's magazine.

"Alright okay, fine, we can go for dinner --" you began, raising your wrist to look at your watch, but noticing that it had gotten pretty late, "-- or midnight snack. But Tokyo never sleeps so... I'll pick up the book next time"

You began closing various books on historical art and started piling them to a stack. You shoo'd away Key or Onew's hands whenever they tried to help you pack your bag, insisting that you can manage by yourself, giggling whenever Onew would pout saying that 'SHINee's Princess' should be spoiled even when she is studying. Your eyes could only roll at the statement, scoffing at how ridiculous it sounded but you basically have been adopted by majority of the SHINee members, often doting on you since they met you at the recording studio.

"Go on, you guys can wait outside, I'll just return these then I'll head out. Bummie oppa, can you take my bag please?"

Key nodded and waved you off as the boys stand up, getting themselves ready, picking up any loose items and placing them in your bag before collectively leaving the library.

As you navigated what felt like a maze, you began muttering curses. Particularly, curses about Taemin. In your eyes the man was complete idiot, but so were you. Your suddenly vocalized monologue of being annoyed, made your blood boil, expressing your disbelief that you even liked him, still like him, hell he never left your thoughts for more than minute, you sighed to yourself, that only if you knew what he was like outside of his idol image, you wouldn't have picked him as your bias.

Your ramblings had manifested physically, every time you voiced out something that Taemin did that annoyed you, you would grab one of the more sturdier book and lightly bang it against your head, or a surge of energy would cause you to jump up and down, punching the air violently before letting out a barely there scream.

"You're an idiot Lee Taemin... so fucking drunk, you forgot it was me that night.." you sighed in defeat while placing a book on one of the shelves.

Seeing the book you had just placed, suddenly get taken away, definitely spooked you, but you were ill prepared to see a face pop into view. Taemin's face, looking at you with curious eyes. "Hm. For someone who had a lot to say about me, you're pretty silent now", his voice felt flat, cold, unnatural.

"You'd be silent too if you got scared like I did" you scoffed, walking away, continuing to look for the sections the remaining books in your arm would go.

"So... you still like me huh?" Taemin smirks, following you and grabbing a random book from a shelf to inspect it, brushing his finger against the pages before returning it.

"I'm surprised that's what you got amongst all the other shit I've said.."

You stop in an aisle and tried to appropriately place a book on the shelf, making sure it didn't accidently push out another book or accidentally smash and crimping the pages. "Why are you here Taemin?", you paused but your head refused to look at his direction.

Taemin's frame casually leans against the bookcase, folding his arms and bit his lips a few times, an obvious sign that he was hesitant in speaking out his thoughts. He carefully brushed his dark locks back and sighed, turning his head away as he tries to form sentences in his head before speaking out of turn. "Look Y/N, I know we really haven't seen eye to eye recently and yeah I know, you blame me for not debuting..."

"Look at that. The great SM ace, Lee Taemin is self aware after all", the dryness in your voice, mixed with sarcasm, didn't seem to faze him at all.

"I didn't tell SM to use your name. Frankly I would have been happy to say it was a secret girlfriend and then make a 'breakup' announcement a few months later" Taemin tried to defend himself..

"Oh for crying out loud Taemin...." you groan softly, rolling your eyes, but your words had stopped, trapped in between your tongue. An aggravated sigh left your lips before pushing past him and turning a corner to place your last book in its spot.

"Look, I said I'm sorry! I'm sorry I stalled your plans..." he sighs defeatedly, his head following your movement

"Taemin.. ", you take a deep breath before continuing ".. do I look like I give a flying fuck about my plans or debuting?" you tone controlled but loud enough that it was met with a few hushes from lurking students who were also trying to check out a few books.

"Should I not assume so? You looked miserable studying. You looked like you'd rather be anywhere else but here" he retorts, pacing up closer to you and grabbing your arms to pull you to a more secluded part of the library, ending up near the door of an emergency stairwell.

The strength in which he dragged you, should be something you could easily counter, but you felt weak in his hold, like something in you wanted to see where this could lead, then again, you are not the happiest towards him, so you have to actively try and push him away.

"Let me go Taemin...you're wrong. I'd rather be anywhere else but beside you" you grunted, prying his hands away from your arms, turning on your heels to walk away.

But before you even thought about taking a step, Taemin, grabbed you by the arms again, pulling you towards him and pinning you against the bookcases with a solid thud. His arms placed on either side of your head, gripping onto the shelves, almost leaning down to look at you.

"So what are you so annoyed about then?" his soft voice interlaced with intrigue, he almost sings the question to your ear.

You remained to stand firm, refusing to buckle underneath him, but your eyes met and you couldn't help but soften your gaze the minute you saw those sweet pools, drowning you out. It was tough, but you finally were able to break eye contact, lowering your head , almost pressing down onto his shoulders.

Taemin remained in silence, keeping his position still, only to turn and weave his head whenever to try to observe your face and to gauge your expressions. After a while, he tried to pursue a question he tried to avoid asking since you caught him following you. "Why are you still thinking about that night?"

He was met with your head, shaking, refusing to answer. Taemin presses the question once more, this time, his voice was so sweet to your ear it was almost tempting. Your eyes close and your head throws back, banging the back slightly against the shelving, in a rhythmic pulse. "Y/N?"

"That night in Spain? The photos? Taemin, that wasn't some random girl. It was me", your eyes open to see his face so close to yours.

Taemin remained silent, nothing on his countenance could help you gauge his thoughts and feelings as you speak. Does he remember? Why is he not reacting at all? Maybe he doesn't like the fact it was me.

"Then you left the next morning and by the afternoon.. you didn't even remember it was me that you were with...", your voice quivered, trying to remain calm.

"So you know something after all..."

A dry chuckle left Taemin's throat, and you stared at him, puzzled and worried. For the longest time since the photo leak and days prior to it, you assumed that Taemin had no recollection of that night or who he was with. To the same extent, Taemin had made similar assumptions towards you.

Now both of you are faced with the dilemma and knowledge, that you two remember a little bit more than you two would like to reveal. The memories did puzzle themselves back together with rough timeline of that night.

~~

SHINee have often holidayed in Spain and took notions to fly out there during their spare time. They can roam around somewhat anonymously and usually you would be tagged along with them.

The last trip you accompanied them with, they were finally able to do the trip without any 'company' chaperone. That means, it was just the 5 of you, with no managers, no on-site Korean local translators, no supervision and no nightly check-ups.

Through tactical socializing and a few friendly handshakes and offers for drinks, you managed to get you and the boy a last minute reservation for a booth in a club that you had heard about from another indie artist. It was esentially the group's first night of freedom and the boys could be messy as long as it didn't generate enough buzz back home.

So it was no surprise that Minho had turned into a sporty frat boy for the duration of the trip, Key pushed the limits of his alcoholism , Onew, being the great leader that he is, was reserved, dabbling into drinking and re-exploring the world of cigarettes and cigars. Taemin on the other hand, had no qualms of suppressing his need to flirt, to seduce and to casually bang girls for the duration of the trip. If it weren't for you and Key returning back to the AirBnB, you wouldn't have caught Taemin trying to eat out a girl on the dining table.

A stark difference to the Taemin, who only a few weeks up to that point, could barely have enough of you. He was flirty, attached to the hip and endlessly sought out ways to catch your attention. To only have himself in your eyes and he was well aware that you liked him back. But after a heart-breaking rejection from your end, Taemin's attitude had somewhat flipped and next thing you know you were cast aside. Still friendly, but somewhat off.

It shouldn't hurt the way it should have, and god knows you were madly into Taemin, but with your career on the line, at the time, rejecting him felt like it was the only right thing to do.

So when it came to that night in the club, it was almost weird to have Taemin cling onto you. He stuck close by and eventually when Key, Minho and Onew were basically trapped in their own bubble, partying with the locals on opposite sides of the place, Taemin was practically inseparable from you.

The way he mewled your name, how he sat close you, resting his arms over your shoulder, his spare hand resting on your lap, and how he'd pull you in, so you could hear his ramblings through the loud music. All of it, along with your trusted wingman, alcohol, made the night one giant dream.

That night, Taemin would passively comment how you broke his heart and now he had to find you through other girls. How none of them carried the weight your smile did for him. How he could never get lost in their eyes. How he never felt the need to protect their smiles. Eventually, Taemin blamed himself for his actions. He knew better, he knew what it was like to debut and the price that came with that; he understood why you had to reject him in the first place.

At some point, you were convinced the the boy didn't know what he was on about. You heavily doubted he'd remember all of this and you'd find out the next morning that you'd be right.

Equally, you too delved into the deepest parts of your heart, affirming Taemin that you also liked him back, how you've always had a crush in him and in the turbulent world of the industry, more than SHINee, more than anyone else, Taemin had been the most supportive. He was the only one who saw you sparkle the way you wanted to. You both know, you were madly obsessed with each other, but there was never the right time. Pouring your heart out came easy with alcohol, but you remained coy, almost demure, despite your choice of clothing, and Taemin loved all of it and he admits to you that he has to come into terms of letting the idea of you go.

But he followed you to the dancefloor that night, amongst the crowd, his hands barely left your waist, moving and grinding against your body. As the climactic beat drops, his head would also lower, softly grazing his lips along your neck, peppering it with kisses until you succumb and sink back into his frame, rolling your head to the side, giving him more access to drown you in affection. Suddenly you two were lost in the buzz and the music and by the time you had spun around to face Taemin, all sense of thought just left your head.

You grabbed him by his shirt and him pulling you closer than possible, the vague memory of whispering, unsure who said what.. It was barely audible and you could barely remembered what you said to him and what his response was, but it must have been something insane because immediately, Taemin has pulled you closer, hand on your neck and waist as he plants a heavy and heated kiss. Instinctively, you pushed into the kiss, lapping up his lips and softly nibbling on the bottom one before letting out a soft moan as his teeth grazes on your tongue, one of his hand sneakily reaching down to squeeze your ass through your dress.

Then it was a blur. Amongst your memories was the heavy make-out sessions in the bathroom in the club, the make-out in the hallway on the way out of the club, getting in trouble with the taxi driver as you two could barely keep your hands off each other.

The next thing you remember is waking up in your bed, naked, feeling a bit sore, but also alone. As you crawl over to the edge of the bed, you see your discarded clothes, but no evidence of the man you brought to your bed last night.

By lunch time as you came to the dining table late, despite being severely hungover, Onew and Minho teased you as a large bruised mark encompassed the side of your neck, Key was busy making brunch and Taemin who was sitting opposite you, was claiming, he truly had minor recollection of last night but vividly remember making out with a random 'bitch'. That was the term he used and it was stuck in your brain like glue. He probably didn't mean it as maliciously as he intended, but it still stung you, confused on the exact events, but you were damn near certain, it was you and Taemin who were in bed, but maybe not. Maybe it wasn't Taemin I was with. You try to convince yourself that it really wasn't Taemin because we would never cross the line like that.

So you also claim that you had no memory, claiming the last thing you remembered was convincing Key to do shots with you, before flirting with some dancer who was up on makeshift stages. Taemin's face contorts in confusion before remaining silent, internally questioning whether you truly forgot, because you spoke so confidently not even throwing a glance at him.

~~

By the look on his face now, and his words earlier on that you could tell the memory wasn't too blurred for him, in fact he appears to remember all of it, down to the last detail, while you only have a vague recollection of it. A memory that you only remembered clearer access to, months after the fact. After the photo leak, after the PR announcement, after several months of posed "photo-ops". By that point, you almost seemed certain it was him and to you, it seemed like you were the only one to remember. How wrong you were now.

Now that you two are standing so close to each other in the back corner of some library, the tense intimacy of hearing the shift of one's breathing or the slight double beat of their pulse.

"Even if I only remember some bits..." you hissed lowly, slightly pushing Taemin back with your hands to create a gap. "To you, I was just another girl in your endless quest and I'm not going to stand here pretending I'm okay with that" the was a quiver in your voice, eyes glistening, as you duck under his arms, attempting to leave, pushing the door of the emergency exit stairwell, rushing down the stairs

"What? Hold on y/n, what?", puzzled, Taemin chases after you, slamming the fire door shut.

Taemin was almost too stunned, yes, he may have tried to suppress the memories of that night but it was apparent to him and only him that he remembered that night distinctively different from you. His eyes cast over, as you starts rushing down the set of stairs, before turning back to look at him, ready to scream.

"For fuck's sake Taemin, you took advantage of the fact that I had feelings for you.! Then the next day, you thought you had been with a random girl, when it was me! Turns out you knew all along and yet you have been nothing but an asshole to me. I lost my chance at a good career trying to protect you!" your voice croaked loudly, feeling the pain in your chest swell.

The blur of sadness and rage seeped into you and seeing the shocked look on his face, made it impossible for you to know how you truly wanted to vent out but you at least wanted to make yourself heard.

"Take advantage? Of your feelings?!"

"Yes, you did!"

"Y/N, you know damn well, I have always been interested in you, you knew how much I wanted to be with you. You knew that I would never use you like that. I would never hurt you like that"

"Never hurt me? You left me in the morning like I'm just your average one night stand. You made me believe, you didn't even care enough to remember me after I gave myself to you that night. After I poured my heart and soul out to you. And in the last year, you made me think, I was the most despicable person in earth to you... "

Your words struck like ice to Taemin, internally questioning how wrong you have been about it all. He angrily kicks the wall and paces trying to control the hot air that filled his lungs.

"Tell me I'm wrong!" you push a little bit, taking one step up to face the man above you.

"You are wrong.." he whispers lowly, but enough for you to catch it.

"Why?"

"I...I can't.." the groan that escapes him almost sounds beastly.

"Taemin, if you can't tell me that I was wrong, then can you consider that I am right? Instead of resisting it, can't you just admit to me that it's your fault we are in this mess" you were practically pleading, maybe because internally you wish that something was different like something was missing on your part and maybe Taemin could finally answer it.

"No, you're wrong."

"Then tell me wh -- "

"--because it was you who begged from the very beginning, y/n! You're the one who told me to never mention it", he yells back, aggravated that he was suddenly being turned to a bad guy. "You told me, no matter what, that night was a dream, to draw a line over it. Had I known that it would affect you this much, I would have said something" Taemin blurts out. "I spent the last year, trying to make it easier for you."

"Wh-what? Easier?!", you were taken aback, a little breathless but mildly insulted, nothing about your life in the last year has been easy.

"At the dancefloor, you told me that you wished that we weren't who we were, so we could experience the sensation and thrill of being obsessed with each other.. " Taemin suddenly paused, trying to control his facial expression as he wracks his brain to continue speaking. "... then at home, after... after we fucked..", cementing the action in his brain after struggling for ways to phrase it. "After that, you cried Y/N. As we passed out, you wished that this was all a dream and asked that we should forget about it, because then it wouldn't be as hard to fool ourselves, that there was no sparks, no chemistry, no connection, between us. "

Taemin continues to elaborate the year long pain that struck his heart. The morning after, he doubled down on your wishes, claiming he was with another girl instead. How, back in Korea, when the photos leaked, he intended to reject the idea of using your name to cover his actions, but you had already agreed before he could contest it and the company rolled with it. He even feigned innocence and honest worry, when he got the rest of SHINee to ask you about that night but the more they asked, the more you replied that nothing happened and probably just had a steamy makeout session in a hallway with a dancer or a random club goer.

He felt like the facade of acting like a couple, was a knife to both of your hearts. To be so dishonest in the shared affection between you two whether it was in public or on camera and it broke him. So in effort to spare the both of you from the illusion of what might have been, he actively distanced himself even more since the night you two shared, but he also actively stopped sleeping around and threw himself into work because all he wanted was you, but to him it seemed like you no longer saw him the same way.

"I spent the last few months, wishing that we didn't need to avoid it. To talk about it. Maybe.. if we were a little honest with each other, then we wouldn't be in this shit show" he sighs, stepping down the stairs so he was just one step above you, looking down at you.

His forehead was on a tightly knit, eyes desperately looking into yours as if he was searching for the answers to his problems.

You, on the other hand was left speechless, looking at him unravel and pour his heart out made you shake your head as you continue down the stairwell, trying to control your breathing as the impeding breakdown creeps in your chest.

There was a cold unfathomable tension as the silence got longer, you could barely string sentences trying to see the good in the misguided flaw of Taemin's plans. As you reach the fire exit door that leads to a small hallway where another exit of the library is, you look back to see Taemin was not too far off, just one flight of stairs behind you before he sits on the top step, looking at you with pitiful eyes.

"Please say something, y/n.."

Your hands tried to push the door open, trying to ignore the situation, but you had more questions than answers and you were unsure what state your heart was. "If you had known after all... you could have something, because I spent months thinking, you didn't remember. I spent months trying to hate you, even when my career went down and I couldn't"

"I gathered as much. I wished you had said something too, because it was so damn believable. I genuinely thought you regretted that night so hard, it was out of your memory. Even Key hyung, asked you about it repeatedly" his soft voice lowered along with his head.

He was right, You did find Key's behaviour odd, but you also assumed Key was just looking out for you, making sure nothing terrible happened that night. As you look at Taemin, you couldn't bear the last year being one giant misunderstanding. You bit your lip, grunting in annoyance before pushing the door open, attempting to leave the building with Taemin not too far behind you. The soft whimper he lets out as you walk away, catches your ear.

There's the Taemin you know. Determined, warm and willing to do anything to make it right between the two of you. This Taemin would always be one step behind you at all times. He calls your name repeatedly despite you ignoring it. What can you say to him? I'm sorry? I take it all back. Let's start over again? No. You shook your head, nothing was right and suddenly the sight of the rest of SHINee, looking at you put a harder strain in your chest.

As Taemin tries to catch up, Key holds back Minho and Onew from approaching the two of you after seeing the distraught look on your face, barely keeping it together from breaking down crying. Key knew, he had to let Taemin handle this on his own.

"Y/N, please talk to me!" Taemin calls out, almost screaming once you two were outside.

Your steps halted to a pause. You wanted to run to the rest of them, to hug them and distract yourself, but with Taemin behind you, you were pitted in the middle. Deal with Taemin or tell the rest what happened. Your feet shuffles, turning to the dark haired boy, slowly walking towards him. "What is there to talk about Taemin?"

"Everything..."

"There's nothing to talk about.."

"Yes there is. Where are we Y/N?"

"Nowhere, there's nothing between us. Apparently we don't hate each other and we are bad at talking to each other." a defeated laugh escapes your throat as a tear decorates your cheek, the weight of the last year suddenly feeling much more lighter. "We were both in the wrong.. "

"So what now? A-are we good...? What do we do now?" Taemin fumbles, seeing you cry brought him back to that moment, wanting nothing more than to hug you.

"I guess... we're good?" nodding your head with a soft smile. "We definitely need to share everything that we know.."

"What happens next?", there was glimmer in Taemin's eyes, for the first time in a while he rarely saw a genuine smile from you that was meant for him.

Pensively, you sucked your bottom lip in, biting on it gently as you ponder his words, before nodding your head, almost bowing. Your feet itched to start walking towards the rest of the guys, as you leave Taemin behind. As soon as you knew, you were within an earshot of Taemin and the rest, you quickly spin to face his direction.

"Yah! Lee Taemin, how about we try being friends again!" you yelled out to him with a grin. "You'll end up trying to win me over again right? I'll be expecting you in the future!"

"Oh? I'll hold you to that! If you fall in love with me again, you can't say no this time!" Taemin yells back, laughing as he chases after you before hopping to hook an arm around your shoulder and his spare hand ruffle your hair.

Meanwhile, the rest of the guys smile to each other, seeing that peace has been brokered between you and Taemin. They chuckle as they expect you two barrelling towards them, quickly ruffling Taemin's hair before hugging you.

"I won't miss the chance to win you over in the future." Taemin began sighing as he takes a step in front of you and holds his hand out. "I'll do it right this time. But we only have now, tonight. So.. hello, I'm Lee Taemin"

You smile sweetly, bowing before you take his hand and shake it agreeably. "Hello, I'm Y/N. Please look after me!", you bow once more.

For the first time in a long time, its like the world had given you a second chance to reset. A gift for the two lives to connect again. That was you and Taemin, it was a turbulent year indeed, but now the shackles of your mistakes will just be a memory, a learning anecdote. Maybe this time, you will finally give him a chance and maybe this time, Taemin would communicate a bit better.

As the five of you walk towards the main square outside the library to catch a taxi to the closest open restaurant, just ever so slightly, you and Taemin were just a half step behind the rest. Throwing soft glances at each other, slowly communicating that it will be all okay eventually. Yes there is so much more to handle and talk about, but right now at this moment, you two were okay, there was no animosity, no angry tensions, it was just a bittersweet happiness and right now that was enough. Both of you stepped on the bridge at the same time and hopefully one day, you two would meet in the middle with a more happier situation that you two wanted.

"So, would now be a bad time to tell yous that I knew you two banged?" Minho quickly interjects as the group waits by the road.

The groups looks at the tall male in shock, almost ready to jump him.

"What? I literally saw you walk out of her room shirtless with your back covered in scratches. Had to wipe it from my memory. I know Taemin was a playboy, but didn't want to imagine that Y/N was a freak in bed too" Minho gestures towards Taemin and you with a slight disgusted look on his face

"Hyung!"

"Oppa!"

You and Taemin whined as Minho chuckles to himself earning a slap on the shoulder from Key. In the midst of the chaos, Taemin had instinctively wrapped his arm around your shoulder, almost shielding you from the embarassment, but also reaffirming that both of you are suffering together in said embarassment.

"What? Too soon? They'll eventually need to laugh about it!" Minho looks defensively as Key curses him out for his tactlessness.

Then that's when it happened. You were laughing, stark red in the face and you take a stealing glance at the man who still had his arm around you, but you looked a little longer than expected and Taemin had turned his head enough to lock eyes with you. The world almost paused in that moment and the bubble had formed. The both of you knew there was still pain in your hearts, but you two could finally talk about it now. That's when it happened. The spark that never wavered. The chemistry that never died. The knowledge that this could be something great as long as you two worked on it together.

Taemin flashes a weak smile, like he was still burdened, mouthing, It's okay. We'll be okay. He tries hard to not get so teary eyes as he ruffles your hair, before guiding your head so he could plant a kiss on your forhead. His breathing hitched trying not to full on bawl in front of everyone. He realized and so did you, that you two have wasted a year in this madness and the only step forward is to learn and heal and not look back. You found your arm also hooking around his torso, to pull him tighter for a hug.

"We'll be okay.."

"I know.."

"Promise me something right now Taemin.." you quickly state as the taxi rolls towards the group.

"Anything"

"No matter how hard I push and pull.. don't give up on... us"

"I promise. Like I said, I will win you over properly this time. And this time, there will be no confusion about it" he quickly pecks your cheek before he guides to the taxi door, holding it open for you.

"I'm sorry for everything.."

"I'm sorry too..."

What happened was the past now. All you and Taemin can do is just take everything, one step at a time. Together.

Fin

[yusyusds]

I'm Glad We Met Part 2

Unfortunately on her first day in the company she couldn't meet the girls who would be training with her, so the manager Cha, who was the same guy that recruited her, instead introduced her to another Japanese trainee. 

"Let me introduce you. Rei, this is YN, he's also from Japan, manager Cha threw a finger pistol at the boy “bang”

“Ahhhh” the boy dramatically fell  laughing. 

Rei was a little caught off guard by the interaction but laughed too 

"Ok YN  I leave Rei in your hands, give her a good introduction to the company facilities and be safe you 2" he said before disappearing into one of the hallways. 

"So... Let's go" YN said, taking the lead. He took the role of guide seriously, as he took the girl around every corner explaining for what and who each room was for, but Rei was barely able to concentrate.

That boy was familiar to her, especially his name, since it was not so common, even so nothing came to her mind. 

"Can I ask you a favour?" YN asked. 

Rei looked at him confused “of course, what is it ?”

I need a little help ," he pointed out. "I've been here for a long time, and I think I'm losing my ability to speak Japanese." Rei didn't say anything for respect, but throughout the tour his pronunciation was a little wrong in a few words. "So if you want, I can help you learn Korean and you help me to get my Japanese essence back," he proposed.

Rei acknowledged that it was a very good idea, so she didn't doubt it.

Deal," she took the guy's hand to shake it, sealing the deal. 

The hand slowly turned from the boys into a girls.

she returned to reality just at the moment and noticed it was Liz’s hand. Just at that moment Yujin started to speak, but not having heard the question, Rei felt a little lost. 

"He asked about your debut in Dreamday," Liz whispered to her. With that explanation, Yujin's story began to make more sense. 

"...we were very impressed that they had chosen us, at that time, we didn't even know that they had plans for us to represent the company so it felt totally unexpected and Rei still didn't understand the language well." All of them laughed while the girl's face became red. "We were competing against 100 other trainees, we felt like only our parents and friends were supporting us. But we still made it and debuted even if we didn’t know all 3 of us would make it and debut in the group."

Rei remembered that day perfectly. Yn, Leeseo and Jun (YN’s trainee bestfriend) were the only ones actively supporting them, some time later Gaeul also joined, and on the day of the finals it was those faces that Rei managed to see among the public and they were witnesses of her first presentation as a member of Dreamday after being announced as a member along with Wonyoung, Yujin and 9 other trainees from various agencies. 

They celebrated on stage, but the real celebration was backstage, where everyone was waiting for them, including YN. Without being able to resist and with tears of joy in her eyes, Rei threw herself into the boy's arms, forgetting about everyone else. 

As if nothing and no one but them existed, they hugged before YN took her face in his hands, wiping away her tears. 

"You did it fantastic, I'm proud of you," he told her, joining their foreheads in an intimate and close moment that was interrupted by Jun's comment. 

"I didn't know we were filming a melodrama," the guy said in a joking tone, making everyone laugh but YN and Rei who felt embarrassed for acting like that in public. 

To make the situation worst when Rei turned to go back with Wonyoung and Yujin she saw her parents there, they both looked impressed, but no more than her, who had no idea they would be there.

"Mom, dad! What are you doing here ?" she asked, going in their direction to hug them. 

"Did you think we won't come to see our daughter succeed ?" Mr. Naoi said, caressing her hair with affection, in his eyes she was still a little girl that he had to protect, that's why his attention moved to the boy who previously hugged his daughter with so much trust. 

Rei watched how her father approached her group of friends and, as if choosing the fish he would have for dinner, her father took YN by the shoulder before asking him for a moment to talk. 

Everyone else, including Rei, stood frozen in their places watching YN and Mr. Naoi disappears into one of the backstage rooms at the end of the hallway. 

"What do you think he's going to say to him?" Jun whispered close to Rei, scaring her.

I don't know, my father is unpredictable," she said honestly. "But he's too good to say something bad." 

"Let's get closer and see if we can hear something" Jun said, before taking the lead, approaching the door. Rei soon joined him, sharpening her ears to hear. 

"We are getting to know each other, since we are both from Japan we try to maintain a close friendship" Rei heard YN explaining calmly, but even without having him in front of her, she knew that in reality he was shaking inside.

"I can see that she is very close to you, our Rei is more reserved and fragile than she seems," Mr. Naoi said worriedly, "I'm happy to see that she has people who support her around her, but I need to make sure that it will be like that for a long time…" 

"I want to be with her as long as I can," YN went ahead and said what he should do to gain his trust, taking Mr. Naoi and Rei by surprise, she felt her heart flutter in her chest. 

The only one who seemed lost was Jun, not having much knowledge of Japanese, he was barely managing to understand. 

"That's a good answer boy, I hope so." Mr. Naoi gave him some pats. "For now I will thank you if you make her happy and keep looking after her now that she's away from home." 

"I will," he sounded really sure and serious about it.

Rei was moved, both by her father's concern and by YN's commitment. Somehow that event meant more to her than being in the debut group, YN was becoming someone special to her.

"And what about you, Rei." the interviewer's voice took her out of her mind.

"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts, what's the question?" she asked shyly.

"How would you describe that night with one word ?" Jung Shik asked again. 

"Dreamlike." she said smiling, and a strange silence settled in the place, Rei worried thinking that maybe they had noticed that she wasn't talking about her debut, but hearing the productor indicate a pause she relaxed. 

She needed to get back to land before they noticed that she was floating in clouds of memories.

[jinnie-ret]

I’m not entirely sure if you’d write this or not but could you write stray kids and like trainee reader who has divorced parents and is crying? You don’t have to write this and I understand if you don’t. If you do thank you

togetherness

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: very angsty

content warnings: divorce, allusions to a panic attack

word count: 2.7k

summary: out of all things, the last thing you expected to hear was that your parents are getting a divorce, but it was fortunate that the boys were there to hold you together

Thank you for the request! I did something silly and accidentally wrote it as a ninth member instead of a trainee, but she is still the maknae of the group so I hope that is still ok :)

MAIN MASTERLIST

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Ever since Stray Kids was confirmed to debut after the survival show all nine of you took part in, life had been a whirlwind. From training in the practice room to releasing several tracks, getting your first win was like a dream come true. Of course it would be 'Miroh' that people gave you recognition for, you couldn't deny how how much you loved the track too. However, there was a small part of you, scrap that, a big part of you that hoped '3rd Eye' would also gain that same level of attention. It's not a crime to be obsessed with your own music now, is it?

Due to how busy you had been, it had been just over a year since you had seen your parents, and for today to finally be the day you'd get to see them, you were practically bouncing off of the walls, so much so that the boys couldn't stop laughing at you, fondness radiating through all of them. You were the youngest, after all, only 14 when the show happened, and they had seen you grow so much already.

"Y/Nnie, calm down," Changbin chuckled as he tried to hold onto the sides of your arms, but you couldn't contain yourself as you excitedly paced up and down the wooden floors of the lounge.

"I can't help it... I'm so excited! I haven't seen them in ages, I missed them so much!" you cheered, accidentally bumping into Minho in the process.

He slowly turned around from his spot in the kitchen, stopping his minor task of pouring some juice.

"Do you like oranges, Y/N?" Minho turned to face you with a sinister grin.

"Oranges? I love orang-" you shrugged momentarily in confusion before gasping as he held the juice over your head.

"3,2..."

"Ah! Don't! I washed my hair today and everything!" you were rapid in your movements as you ducked away and took cover between Felix and Jeongin.

"Don't sacrifice us!" Jeongin's eyes were wide.

"Ah, you're being so cute today, Y/Nnie," Felix giggled, patting your head.

"Have you got everything you need, menace?" Chan asked you, letting out a laugh when you scrunched your nose at him in response.

"If anyone's a menace, it's Hannie, but yes," you answered his question whilst also turning the spotlight to Jisung, who was currently trying to grab Hyunjin's hair and tie it with a scrunchie of yours he had stolen.

"Who, me?" Jisung feigned innocence.

"Ah!" Hyunjin jumped not noticing Jisung behind him. "Bro, what are you doing?"

"Giving you a new hairstyle, Y/Nnie lets me do it all the time," Jisung shrugged, moving away from Hyunjin as it was clear his mission had failed.

"Yeah, small problem, Hyunjin's hair isn't long enough," Seungmin pointed out, making you laugh.

"I want to see Jinnie with long hair, woah," you nodded in approval at the idea.

"Y/N, you're getting distracted again," Changbin directed you towards the front door. He couldn't hide his smirk as he shook his head at your antics.

"It's like you're trying to get rid of me," you pouted, turning around with your hands on your hips.

"Never, but you really need to go," Minho joined him at the front door, jokingly pushing you out the door, making Felix yell out in surprise.

"Don't push the maknae!"

"Ok, ok, I'm going," you laughed, brushing a hand through your hair making sure it was perfect and not a single strand was out of place.

"Bye Y/N!" you heard them yell out in goodbye, before you made your way to the Korean BBQ place that wasn't too far away from your dorms. Initially you were going to go for a café, but your dad insisted that you see each other at your favourite kind of place.

And there they were, waving at you from across the road, small smiles on their faces that gree bigger the closer you got to them.

"Mum! Dad!" you ran up to them as you embraced them into a tight hug, their arms wrapping around you in return, both you and your mum getting teary eyed.

"Oh, I missed you so much sweetheart," she cuddled you closer to her, and pulled away as your dad planted a kiss on your forehead.

"Come on, darling, I bet you're hungry," your dad poked your cheek as he guided you through, sorting out the details of the reservation as you all sat down and began to catch up.

"I'm so glad I got some time off to see you, I just, I missed you so much," you sniffled, wiping your tears away before you full on sobbed in front of them.

"Aigoo, don't cry my dear," your mum wiped your tears as she dabbed a tissue across your cheeks and wrapped you in a side hug.

"We're so proud of you, Y/N, I know for sure we can both say that," your dad awkwardly glanced across at your mum, not that you noticed this exchange, too happy to be simply in their presence again.

"Thank you, I'm glad I can make you proud," you smile widely, your mum nodding along.

"You've achieved so much already, are the boys taking care of you, hmm?" she questioned, shifting her body to face yours more.

"-and then by the end of it we all just ended up falling asleep in the practice room, but I didn't mind, it was so comfortable, they truly are my brothers," you gushed as you retold one of your favourite stories of one of your earlier memories in your trainee days, just showing how strong your bond with the group was.

Whilst all of this was happening, your parents both had a nervous demeanour about them, not fully engaged in your story, something heavier weighing on their minds. How would their only child react when they told them?

"I-is something wrong? Oh, I'm rambling again aren't I, sorry, you can tell I haven't changed much," you finally picked up on their silences, the change of their normally relaxed mannerisms more apparent than ever.

"No, no, it's perfectly alright sweetheart, we just..." your mum trailed off, not knowing how to approach the topic.

"We have something to tell you, Y/N," your dad finished off your mum's sentence.

"Oh, what is it?" your heart dropped, sensing the serious tone coming through in the conversation. You fiddled with the chopsticks in front of you, trying to stabilise yourself, not knowing what was to come.

"There's no easy way to say this, darling, but... Your mum and I, we're getting a divorce," your dad couldn't look you in the eyes as he said this, wishing he could pretend he was looking for a waiter yet the enclosed booth you were in prevented him from doing so.

"No," you instantly said, disbelieving the words you had just heard, sure you had misinterpreted his words. In your strong reaction, you firmly placed the chopsticks down, head moving left and right as you glanced back and forth between your parents. A trio of a family, now split into three.

"Sweetheart, please, don't make this difficult," your mum began, sighing as she stared down at the table.

"D-don't make this difficult?! You're getting a divorce!" you leant back away from them, struggling to take in the situation as your heart raced.

"It hasn't been easy for us, please understand, Y/N," your dad pitched in, "we've been thinking about this for a long time now."

"How long?" your voice broke as you got quieter, the sight of your eyes welling up with tears breaking the hearts of your parents.

"For around four years now," your mum winced as she admitted how long their relationship had been in turmoil.

"Four, four years?!" your hands shook as you covered your face, absolutely devastated. Anyone that knew your family would have said it was absolutely perfect, even the boys who had only seen them on a few occasions.

"We had to make it work for you, Y/N, darling," your dad tried to grab your hand but you ripped it away from him, getting rid of that opportunity.

"You're putting this on me?" your voice wobbles, tears freely running down your face, leaving trails of grief in its wake. A grievance mourning the loss of something you'd never get back.

"Listen, we wanted to stay together for you, you just got into JYP, but now you've debuted we thought..."

"You thought I could handle it? Because my life is 'sorted'?! It's quite the opposite now," you sniffled, wiping your nose with the back of your hoodie sleeve.

"Y/N, we had to do this sweetheart, for the better," your mum tried to reason with you, tears of her own present.

"No, no, I... I can't," you scrambled out from your seat, running out of the restaurant without even having any of the food yet.

"Y/N!!!"

"Darling!"

Your parents desperately called after you, but you kept running away, finding a seat on a park bench to try and process everything that had just happened. They were divorcing, just like that. Were all the happy memories in your childhood as fake as the ones they created when they had been convincing you all this time that you were still a happy family? It wasn't fair. Could you even trust the words that left either of them now that they had revealed their biggest secret to you?

Without even knowing, your feet guided you away from the bustling streets of Seoul back to your true home. The family you had found solace in, that you'd be soon to find solace in once more, but for different reasons this time.

Like your body was on autopilot, your key twisted into the door of your shared apartment and you dropped your small bag to the floor, instantly falling to the ground as your knees buckled. You weren't aware of how bad of a state you were in, the mascara from your light makeup you applied earlier on in the day, now smudged under your eyes and faintly across the apples of your cheeks. Your chest heaved as you gasped for air, unable to comprehend everything that had just happened. You didn't even feel the arms that had wrapped around you and brought you to their lap, cradling you into the safety of their warmth.

"Miss, please, it's ok, she just got here, she's safe, I think, ummm, do you want to come to our dorm? I can send the address?" Chan hurriedly spoke into his phone as he glanced over at Jeongin holding you tightly to him, the other boys around you trying to provide you with enough space but their comfort at the same time.

"I, I think it's better if we don't," the voice of your mum sighed from the other side of the phone.

"What? But- oh," Chan was ready to convince them to come over and ask what had brought you to such a distressed state, but the call had already been ended from the other side.

"It's ok, you're ok, Y/N, just take some deep breaths ok? Ok?" Changbin whispered into your ear, trying to help you slow down not only your breathing, but your mind too as you were clearly in your own head.

Jeongin rubbed your back in soothing circles, and after a while, you felt yourself slowly calm down, alongside Jisung's instructions to breathe deeply, and the soothing feeling of someone scratching your scalp, who you found out later was Felix.

The boys were the only people who could ground you in this moment, providing you with the comfort the rest of your support system failed to do. Your thoughts were still in a whirlwind yet you managed to tune back into your surroundings.

"You're ok, that's it, well done love," Chan's voice broke through, as your tight grip on Jeongin's t-shirt lessened and your body was ever so slightly less tense.

"We should move her to the sofa," Hyunjin spoke quietly, as if he was afraid to break the calm you began to feel.

And so, you numbly walked to the sofa with the help of Seungmin's hand resting on your back, pulling you down gently to sit next to him. Like you normally would, you rested your head on his shoulder. But this was far from a normal situation.

"Y/N?" Changbin asked tentatively, hoping you'd respond. "Look at me, aegi."

"Mmm?" you made a sound with your croaky throat, sore from your crying which the boys were thankful for their own souls that they didn't have to listen to it anymore. They feared it would permanently leave an imprint on their hearts, so they were worried at what on Earth had happened to you.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Chan slowly questioned you, a gentleness behind his eyes that nearly made you tear up again.

What did happen? What would happen now?

"They... my, my parents, they're getting a divorce," your voice cracked again and you internally scolded yourself for it as the boys looked geared up to protect you at any cost.

"A divorce?" Felix gasped.

"Oh, no, oh Y/Nnie," Jisung sighed sympathetically.

"I just don't get why... why now?" you held your head in your hands. Having to explain everything that happened moments ago would have been more painful had it not been for your members attention on you as you all sat on the sofas in the lounge. The very same ones you had been joyfully skipping around earlier on that day.

"These things... they can be unpredictable sometimes, Y/Nnie," Seungmin squeezed you tighter towards him, leant forward with you.

"That's what I hate... they said it had been four years that they had been thinking about it, four years since they knew," you closed your eyes tightly, anything to imagine yourself not in this situation.

"Y/N, you couldn't have known," Jeongin tried to offer some comfort.

"They said they stayed together, for me. I was the reason that they didn't tell me after all this time," you gritted your teeth in frustration.

"No, no, don't do that, love, you weren't to know," Chan firmly said, the last thing he wanted was for you to feel guilt.

"It's not your responsibility to carry that weight," Minho sternly added, in the same mindset as Chan, hating that you were upset. Sure, he teased you for your hyperactive mood earlier but he much preferred that then seeing the storm cloud hovering above you.

"It is though. They faked their love just for me. How do I know they even love me?" you crumbled once more, tears rushing down your face as Hyunjin immediately crouched down in front of you with a tissue at hand.

"They could never stop loving you. It's hard, but just because they fell out of love with each other, doesn't mean they'd do the same with you," he grabbed your hands in his, before pressing the tissue into your hand for you to use.

It was almost funny. Your mother had dried your tears for you earlier and now you were doing it for yourself, feeling that childlike innocence being ripped away from you as you were forced to feel adult emotions.

"Please don't think that way, no one could ever not love you," Jisung insisted.

"I just... I don't even know anymore," you took in some deep breaths again, looking around you at your brothers who held so much love and compassion in their eyes for you. You could see it in how they sat, turned towards you with their undivided attention.

"You don't have to know, Y/N. You're not going to know how to feel straight away," Changbin validated your emotions that you couldn't sort out on your own. But that was why you were glad they were there, to heal you, to offer you that safety net of their permanence in your life.

"You're not alone, okay?" Minho's soft spoken voice was filled with love, smooth like honey.

You needed some space from your thoughts, some reprieve from the situation you had faced, but, even in your fragility, you could see, no, you knew the boys would forever be there to keep you together. And so what if the cracks showed? You had 8 members more than willing to not force you to be fixed, but to live with those cracks and learn to understand them.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain @sakufilms @hanjiquokkaaa @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky

[craziestfangirl98]

My thoughts on The Trainee Ep 10.

(I watched it last week but then my mom was here so wasn't able to update the thoughts. Gonna do this now, please forgive me if there are overlaps to the new episode or any of the old once. It's not as fresh in my head.)

Jane picking up and dropping Ryan off, not overstepping to 'announce' necessarily his courtship. Realising it is just the two of theirs until they decide to address is something very personal to me. The whole moment was very precious and I loved it. The uncertainty on both their ends. It was so palpable and beautiful and soft.

Tae being heartbroken and barely being able to function, after such a long relationship, probably the only real and meaningful relationship is so profound because how is he to do anything when his heart is shattered and he is barely holding on. I like that. I also love that, after the previous (?) week and getting reassurance from P' Jo, that he matters in the workplace, Pah has become the glue and in a way the one who knows everyone and brings departments together, especially if it is to help is heartbroken Bestie. That being said, I unfortunately do not particularly like the rest of the art department pushing Tae to fight for her. I would have liked it if he came to that decision by himself.

Bamhee and P' Judy seem to be navigating the delicate balance of being intern-mentor and being interested in each other doesn't look much different from the beginning weeks (case in point the massage, it's a lot of casual leaning and touching and I don't know what to think of it.)

Pai continuing to get Ryan's crush wrong with so much of conviction is hilarious to me and makes me curious to see how it comes out in the open, so to speak.

BOYS! You want to flirt, I get it, but maybe don't leave the evidence right there? Are you insane?!!!!?!?!!? Do you have no regard for my mental peace? That being said you are so cute and I would happily turn a blind eye to those papers. Also, Ryan as someone who works in a printer shop I thought you of all people would be against it but sure.

NOOOOO PAI DON'T USE THOSE PAPERS! DON'T SEE BEHIND THEM! I DIDN'T MEAN TO JINX IT. Is this how you are going to find out about them?!

I like that Bamhee is slowly becoming more and more keen towards her work. It's nice to see her focus on work instead of a person, specifically someone she is romantically involved with.

Ohhh shit. Judy is making the decisions. That's not all good. She is paying attention but in the wrong way. Bamhee has to tell her, she had plans from earlier, if she wants to be heard.

I liked Bamhee and Pai's conversation. One, because it's good to see their friendship continue and blossom. It's very wholesome and heartwarming.

Second, because I like that they are addressing Bamhee's feelings towards Tae as well as Judy. She is uncertain of where she stands and for someone who is just starting out in their queer(bi/pan?) journey it is nice to see that acknowledgement. Also, not being mean but I like that she realises that sometimes that much attention from one single person can be overwhelming to deal with.

Nice call back to Ryan and Jane blocking the scene in the van in one of the earlier episodes. I love how they end up blocking, was it again Jane's choice to ask for Ryan?

Same question I have Jane, How has Ryan survived so far?

How am I just realising that Acts of Service is a big part of Jane's show of love and affection? Jane just casually roasting his peers (validly) to show Ryan that sometimes there is nothing special about the adults is at the same time so important and hilarious to me.

Pai falling shouldn't be so hilarious. Why am I laughing! The timing of it coinciding with Jane's monologue, the fact that the papers have incriminating evidence of a secret 'to-be-relationship', the fact that all the interns are just so clumsy and chaotic, the fact that she couldn't open the water bottle and just gave up on drinking water (honestly full relate Pai) everything is pure comedic genius. Even more than the P' Baimon as crush + Windows error tone.

Also... Jane, I love you. But who are you calling losers, when your secret is laying out in the open for anyone to see and with only you and Ryan to save yourself. 😭😭😭 Good to know at least you can laugh at it. Hopefully you've disposed off the evidence.

Ohhh it's the grand romantic gesture. I get that your heart is in the right places Tae. I hope it works out for you.

Ooooh you are never to touch personal pillows! I think Judy can be a great mentor to Bamhee, don't know about the romantic interest (which is I think what the narrative is going for as well. In my opinion at least.)

The entire team conspiring to get Bamhee to Tae would've freaked me out if it was me. (What is interesting is, even the mean colleagues from earlier episodes are happily a part of Pah's team, make of it what you will.)

Say what you will, it is quite pretty and both of them look super cute.

I am glad Tae told her about the anniversary, instead of choosing to suffer in silence. Especially considering how much effort went into it, how much he overworked himself. Because if she didn't get to know about it, there's a possibility of resentment later on which is not good.

(ohhhh it's from The Terminal! I love the movie. Catherine Zeta Jones was sooo beautiful in that. I love her.)

Go Bamhee! She knows now what she wants and what she needs. She knows how she needs it rectified. She doesn't need these big gestures (exclusively) she more so wants love on a more everyday basis and I think it's so good to see her acknowledge it and speak about it instead of keeping all the times she was hurt by his silence because it felt like a dismissal. I'm proud of them both. I needed this conversation with them if it was to go in this direction.

I also liked that Bamhee had a conversation with P'Judy as well instead of just ghosting or just becoming non-committal about it. Shows she has matured. Also will not come at the cost of her internship. I like Bamhee's realisations, they feel honest to the trajectory and narrative arc. For the first time I feel like I'm seeing an emotion in P' Judy's eyes which as mean as it sounds, finally shows it meant enough to her as well.

Awwww... Everyone is so happy for them and honestly, me too. They've understood where each of them went wrong, I would've liked Bamhee to honestly address the kiss as well but except for that I have no complains honestly.

I love him Jane is constantly aware of Ryan and the things surrounding him. Case in point the print shop = production house comment. I'm sure it made him feel seen. I also like that this show keeps reiterating that you don't need to have lofty dreams and careers to be a successful functioning human being, just as long as you are authentic and kind. As someone who is really struggling with the whole career bit, I would've liked if someone could tell me this irl.

I hope the whole story about Jane's directorial route comes out before the series ends. I want to know him more, especially considering his (slimy) ex could be the trashy intern.

Oh hey! Ryan the namesake search is back! I missed it. I like that Ryan is slowly becoming more sure about himself. I also like that Jane is fully smitten and can't seem to take his eyes off of him.

You're right Ryan. He is very cool.

I think we all know what or who he was thinking about when getting the photo taken.

I like the message tidbits everytime. I especially like to see the hesitation in the messaging.

See you back for the next episode thoughts. Would love to hear more from you all as well so feel free to pop in!

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet Recaps, Ep 7, Part 8, Tomboy

Well, my loves, we’ve made it. It’s time for the most important stage performance that ever humankind has beheld: Tomboy. Let’s see if my recap can live up to it. 

Click "keep reading" or whatever and let’s go!

So, we start in Episode 6, at time 2:04:17. 

Huta introduces the team, and then we hear from the judges, who are gushing about how good the members are, as we look at how good they look backstage.

I mean, they do look good, though I have a few questions. 

Stylist noona, what’s with the leather… shoulder… holster… chestbelts? I don’t understand them. 

Stylist noona, why did you put Gunwook in that loose pink shirt? It just makes us lose the definition of his body so he looks sort of vaguely large instead of big in a beefy, sexy way. Don’t get me wrong, boy has a nice bod, but I think the pink shirt confuses the eye into thinking otherwise. 

The audience is super psyched for this team, and so are the other trainees. 

Anyway, our tomboys are: 

Trainee name (rank)   Star Level test Challenge 1 age final star level

Sung Hanbin (1) Beautiful Beautiful /Love Me Right - K 21 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Zhang Hao (5) Kick It - G /Kill This Love - G 22 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Hui (7) Shut Down /Love Me Right - K 29 ⭐⭐⭐

Park Gunwook (10) GBTB /Kill This Love - K 18 🌟🌟🌟🌟

As I said before, this team is a little TOO stacked. We spent 5.5 minutes with them earlier this episode, and in that time, we mostly just saw international sweetheart Hanbin get the killing part, and Hao practicing the rap with Hanbin. 

Let’s see what happened in their rehearsal, before they definitely perform, this episode. There’s no way that the won’t perform right at the end of this episode, right? 

They introduce themselves as the Aces, and Hui does this really cringe aegyo thing that makes Huta laugh. (Remember, they’re from the same agency and are probably friendly with each other.) 

The judges continue to gush about these trainees, and they apparently particularly appreciate Zhang Hao’s pronunciation of Korean. Again with that. I agree that it’s important to pronounce Korean well if you’re going to be a k-pop idol, but they’re obsessed. 

We cut to their first rehearsal. Master Lee makes a joke -- it’s so unfair that they didn’t give Gunwook a jacket like the other three! Then they ask Bobby (from Ikon) what he thinks of the group, and Bobby says, “They’re all so tall.” I looked it up, and Bobby is apparently 5’10, and Hui is 5’8. ::shrug:: I guess he couldn't think of what else to say.

Anyway, they have their singing and rapping rehearsal. It sounds great, of course, even though they’re currently singing in the original high key. (They’re planning to go down two steps for the actual performance.) When they’re done, the judges don’t say anything at first, and Zhang Hao’s voiceover tells us that he was expecting to be scolded. Finally, though, the judges say it was great, and Bobby tells Gunwook that his rapping was good enough for him to debut. Aw, yay, Gunwook! That’s probably the kind of feedback he’s daydreamed about getting.

I’ve already ranted a LOT in these recaps about how abusive the judges are on this show, and I just want to point it out AGAIN. Because seriously, for Zhang Hao to EXPECT to be scolded after doing an obviously good job, it just shows that at this point the trainees are traumatized by the constant insults and harsh criticism. Yes, people need honest feedback to grow, but it shouldn’t be insulting. Anyway, you all know how I feel, so I’ll move on. 

At 2:10:05 the show makes it look like they’re going to perform, but they don’t, because we have to wait until next episode. 

Instead, they give us a brief preview of each of the new songs that the top 28 will be performing for the next challenge mission. I’ll give my thoughts on those in the end-of-mission wrap up, which will be coming soon. They also give the most recent ranking, which I’ll also discuss in the recap. There isn’t anything too surprising in it. 

So, let’s skip to Episode 7, 1:47:05. Again, team Tomboy is taking the stage, and again, we’re reminded of how popular and highly ranked the team is. 

Again, we cut to a flashback, this time to the trainees’ group self evaluation. All the trainees are excited to see Team Tomboy and think they did a good job, but still, somehow feel a little let down. It just wasn’t quite as good as they’d hoped or expected. In the feedback forms, Team Tomboy is ranked second by many teams -- my guess is that when they’re second, they’re second to Limousine. Just my guess. Apparently, on many of the feedback forms, Zhang Hao is the member who most needs improvement. 

We hear from Zhang Hao that he’s lost a bit of confidence on this team that didn’t need him as a leader or main vocal. What is he here for? He feels out of ideas.

Hanbin notices that Hao is a little down, and decides to practice with him so they can come up with some ideas together. Soon Hao is feeling much better. (Meanwhile, in the background, you can see Hui and Gunwook working on something together, something written down on paper -- my guess is that Hui is helping Gunwook tweak his rap.)

But then when Hao is feeling better, Hanbin starts feeling sad! Sure, he’s ranked number one, getting more than a million votes more than the person in 2nd place. Sure he’s the center of k-group and king of the killing parts. Sure, he was voted the trainee on his team who is doing the best currently. But what if… he’s NOT the best???? And what if he doesn’t improve?

So that night, he finds himself wandering around the dorms, and ends up crying to Wumuti and Dang Hong Hai, who are just sorta hanging out on a staircase.

I feel him on the whole “why am I crying???” thing. I’ve totally done that -- just started crying over something minimal and then just kind of can’t stop. 

Also, I think DHH is dying his roots. Stars… they’re just like us! (I’m like 90% sure that’s DHH -- am I wrong? It’s hard to see clearly. I only know it’s Wumuti from the captions because we never see his face.) 

Later, Hanbin goes back to his room, and Zhang Hao ends up visiting him and “hugging” him for a bit (that what Hanbin says, though we don't see it happen). Also, Zhang Hao talks Sungbin into giving him a back massage. That’s a unique way to cheer someone up, Hao. I’ll have to try that going forward. When my fella is having a bad day, I’ll offer to let him give me a backrub. …. Well, I think he would be a fan of that, but for a different reason. Anyway.

Ok, I am of two minds about all of this. Part of me is like, yeah, Hanbin has shown vulnerability in the past, rating himself with just 3 stars on the first day, and usually being quite humble about the judges’ feedback. And it’s understandable that being ranked number one with a bullet would create its own form of pressure. You don’t want to have the public turn on you, as it is so prone to do. 

On the other hand, Hanbin is very camera aware. He must know that the public likes you better if you overcome some sort of trial, right? So what if he’s having some sort of rough time, and is uncertain if he’s good enough -- but does that in a nice big obvious way? And what if that somehow leads to quasi skinship with one of the other popular trainees? 

On a third and totally unexpected hand, what if Hanbin is so ideally crafted for going on a show like this that he genuinely and truly does all those exact specific things that make the audience love him? Like, some sensor panel in the back of his head can measure audience support meter and when necessary, prompts him sit down with Kim Gyuvin and chat about how he wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, or fix Matthew’s shirt, or… cry? 

I guess the world will never know. 

Anyway, Hanbin makes it through the long dark teatime of his soul, and gets back to rehearsal the next day, and soon, it’s performance day!

The performance

Link

If you’re wondering what Hui is saying when he draws the tear on his face, it’s

“Why are you cranky girl? What’s that frown on your face?” 

Gunwook’s rap:

“That’s right, you’re a tomboy, genealogy twisted because of me who is a fast ‘05, I don’t want to hear excuses, so talk no more, Bluffing NO, I have a lot to say, but I just… Too many people and too many problems, too many proudly and too many cute.  Girl I’ll be a rock star, get out my way, pray for me.”

My take

This was flawless, in the sense that it didn't have any flaws. And yet, I don’t know, it wasn't my favorite. 

The singing was universally excellent, the rapping was great. The dancing (weren’t they cheating a little bit to also dance?) was a nice touch. They looked great, they executed it all correctly, there were no mistakes at all. And yet. 

Here’s where I think it goes wrong for me -- the song itself. Not that I specifically don’t like this song, because I do like it, Soyeon’s rap aside. It’s a cute little punky rocky pop song, and more importantly, it’s Jeon Soyeon continuing to push feminism in a country that really needs it. For one thing, South Korea has worst gender pay gap among industrialized countries. And I mean, do you remember that story of Irene from Red Velvet being seen reading a book about feminism, and getting backlash for it from angry fans? So Tomboy is more meaningful when you really think about what Soyeon is doing with it -- pushing feminism onto the national stage and making people sing along with it.

So, for me, it’s sort of inappropriate for a male group to cover this song and change some of the lyrics to say “girl” instead of “boy” (“why are you cranky, girl?”). This is a song about the restrictive and prescriptive gender roles that women have to put up with. Take away that meaning, and it’s about as powerful and meaningful as when a white kid covers Jay-Z’s 99 Problems at a karaoke bar. 

There’s no concession to the idea of the song being about blurring gender roles. There’s no meaning to it when Hui sings “do you want a blonde barbie doll? I’m not a doll!” No one thought you were, Hui. There’s no meaning at all to the song as performed by these male trainees, and all their posturing comes to nothing. 

What if they had made the song into a song about how feminism isn’t just for women, that everyone would benefit from relaxing gender roles? What if they had displayed a bit of vulnerability about it -- about liking things that are considered feminine sometimes, maybe? I don’t know, just something. SOMETHING. The topic of gender and gender roles is so big and broad and powerful, there’s so much to talk about and so many angles to approach it from, and they just sort of made a song about wanting to be a rock star, I guess? 

It is asking a lot from them to do something like that when they're playing for audience votes, and maybe I'm being unfair. But it's just that this is the only song whose performance had no meaning. Limousine and Feel Special have obvious meanings, but the other songs have meanings too. Man in Love is about being in love. Love Killa is about fucking. Even Zoom has a meaning -- it's "I'm totally frickin' awesome!" That's a meaning. Not all meanings have to be... meaningful. They just have to exist. What is Tomboy, as performed by these trainees, about? I don't know, and so the performance is weird to me.

They did a fine job. I just think there was no way for a male idol team to cover this song in a straightforward way and make something that I’d want to watch. To be clear, I’m not offended by it, I’m just… bored. Bored and let down. 

I still like all four trainees just fine though. They're good at singing and dancing and that's what I want in a Kpop idol. I'm just trying to explain why this performance left me so cold.

The edit

Everyone loves it, there are constant reactions, everyone has goose pimples, it’s the best thing anyone has ever seen ever. The judges even say that the guys really “understood” the song, and I agree that Hui understood the music and attitude of the song and managed to bring that out in the arrangement. However, I disagree that they understood the meaning or message of the song because if they had, they probably wouldn’t have wanted to perform it in the first place. 

Also, everyone massively overreacts to them saying “fuck”. It’s not a curse in their own language -- are they really that titillated by it? I’m not overcome with naughty surprise every time Bibi says the Korean equivalent of the c-word in “Vengeance.” (The link is to a live stage where they bleep it out every time.) So yeah I don’t get it, but whatever.

The voting

They’re all waiting to find out who won, and everyone’s saying it could be anyone, but is probably Sung Hanbin. 

I love how Krystian is just sort of calmly zoned out.

Turns out number one on this team got 849 votes! That’s the highest score of the night! Who could it be? 

It’s Zhang Hao!

Everyone is pretty surprised. Zhang Shai Bo pops up like a jack in the box with an almost comical look of surprise. I don’t blame him -- it is surprising that a Chinese trainee would win the night. 

His team is super happy for him. Really, it seems that everyone is happy for him. I'm happy for Hao too -- he seems like a real person, you know? Like, there's no act here, as far as I can tell. And he needed the confidence boost.

Hao interviews, in that halting way of his, “I finally won for the first time. The feeling of being acknowledged is such a valuable memory to me. I want to hold onto this feeling. So I’ll show you an unexpected side of me.”

And that brings us to the very end of the Dual Position Battle, and the end of this recap! In the next one, I’ll go over my final thoughts on the challenge as a whole, including favorite performances and whatnot, and also talk about the last few minutes of episode 7.

As always, kamsahamnida for reading.

You, dear reader, are definitely in my top 9!