#so idk. i'm not sure i'm clever enough to lie to myself that effectively.
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#emotionally speaking i think its possible i am too good at repressing things. to the point where i have ZERO clue how i feel#for example my first exam in 5 days. i have a stress induced mouth ulcer and my tongue is bleeding#these are things that happen to me when i am seriously stressed (tongue biting is my worst anxious habit) so like. clearly its affecting me#but when people ask me how i'm feeling about the exams i'm like yeah fine actually. i feel normal. and it doesnt feel like a lie#so idk. i'm not sure i'm clever enough to lie to myself that effectively.#have i really just shut all of that down??? or am i just not a very emotional person???
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