#so i've honestly forgotten to put it in there. no more though

[angered-box]

NO FUCKING WAY I HAVE TO SEE HP ON MY FOR YOU PAGE. ..

[nerdy-novelist017]

omg i love ur writing sm✨🩷💋

do u think u could write sumthin like benny coming home to finding u snuggled up on the couch in one of his huge shirts?????

Thank you for this super sweet request, Anon! Sorry I've been taking forever to get around to the requests, but I'm trying to get back into the routine of working on them a little bit every day. Hope you enjoy!

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 1.1k+

T-Shirts (Benny Cross x Shy! Reader)

Benny cursed under his breath as he stumbled over the threshold of the front door. He’d been out with the Vandals, not an actual meeting, just a night out with a few of the main members. He’d invited you as he always did, but you declined. You had told him that you wanted to have some alone time after a long day at work. He understood – girls needed their ‘me time’ to pamper themselves or whatever, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to miss you. You were sometimes all consuming to him, his thoughts almost always ran back to you. Johnny and the boys could see it, anyone that really knew Benny (few as they were) knew he was completely infatuated with you. He was drunk off your touch, your voice, your smile. How could he be separated from you for long? So as the night progressed and he accepted more whiskeys being slid in his direction, his thoughts of you became more hazy, more melancholic and finally Johnny took pity on him and told him to go home. 

The slight buzz from the beers he had early did not mix well with the lack of lights. Usually, you left on the front porch light for him when you knew he would be out late and you were going to bed early. But it wasn’t the case tonight he realized as all the lights in the main level of your house were turned off. As he tossed his bike keys onto the entryway table and flipped on a light, he wondered briefly in his intoxicated mind if you were upset with him and this was your passive aggressive way of punishing him for staying out late, but that theory quickly diminished when he caught sight of the couch. At first glance, it looked like just a pile of throw blankets, but he was convinced he could spot your familiar form no matter how much light there was in the room. 

He slipped out of his boots and jacket, standing there for a moment longer in appreciation. A lovestruck smile overtook his face at the view of you curled into your side, that yellow blanket with white flowers (one you had begged him to buy when you first moved in together, stating that it was the perfect piece to pull the room together. He honestly couldn’t have cared less about the living room or its decor, but the smile on your face when he put it in the shopping cart made it suddenly the most important detail.) pulled over your body, a forgotten book laying face down on your chest – a clear indication that you had once again fallen asleep while reading. Your mouth slightly agape, your features looked so soft and girlish that it took Benny’s breath away knowing you were his. Even though he saw some incredible sunrises, sunsets and starry nights when he went riding, you were without a doubt the most beautiful sight he got to come home to. 

Unable to restrain himself any longer, he crossed the room, stooping to trace a hand across your face, brushing the tousled hair from your eyes. With his other hand, he looped his fingers through the spine of your novel, making sure to save your page mark as he placed it on the coffee table. His left hand moved beneath your knees and his right supported your back as he effortlessly lifted you into his embrace. That’s when he realized you were wearing one of his shirts, the white material clearly oversized on your small figure. He didn’t know a simple white t-shirt had the ability to be sexy, but clearly he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was because you had the talent to make just about anything look painfully arousing on you. And nothing at all. And to make matters even harder for Benny, he knew it wasn't your intention when you put on his shirt to look sexy, you probably weren’t even aware of the effects of your body in that damn oversized t-shirt and the way it clung to your chest as he lifted you, nor the way it molded around your hips. You were certainly not aware of the sudden twitch in his pants because of the way the garment just seemed to make you look even more of the little bunny that stole his heart. 

“Benny?” your muffled, half asleep voice hit his ears like the sweetest melody as you snuggled into his chest. 

“Stealin’ my clothes, Bunny?” he teased and you sunk further into his embrace, not quite awake enough to catch his playfulness. He carried you up to your bedroom, using his foot to kick the door shut behind him. He placed you gently on your side of the bed and almost laughed as you tugged him back down to you for a messy kiss. 

“I like the way it smells like you,” you admitted as you rubbed your eyes, the action pulling on Benny’s heartstrings. 

“You may have to keep it. Looks better on you,” he smiled as he stepped back to change into something more comfortable. 

“Whatever you say, Cross.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your words slurring together. “I tried waitin’ up for you. Did ‘ya have a good time?”

“Go back to sleep, Bunny,” he coaxed gently, smiling as your blinks were growing longer by the second. That was always something you wanted to do: you liked to lay in bed and talk about your days if they happened to be spent apart. You encouraged him to talk more than he’s ever talked in his life. Sometimes he felt as though your chattiness was rubbing off on him, but you never interrupted nor discouraged him from expressing his thoughts. He loved you more for that. “There’s plenty of time to talk about it tomorrow.”

“M’kay, come lay with me?” you asked and Benny scoffed because was that even a request you needed to make? He was drawn to you like a moth to flame, he couldn’t resist having a hand on you while he slept. It was like some instinctual urge projecting him to keep you near, to keep you safe, even while he was floating in the realm of sleep. 

He shook his head as you muttered a final incoherent sentence into the side of your pillow, eyes falling shut again. He crawled into bed behind you, slipping his hand around your waist and pulling you flush against his body as he pulled the blankets over the two of you. A soft, content sigh escaped you, and Benny looped his hand into yours, pulling it up to his lips in a soft kiss as he whispered “I love you, Bunny.”

-Tag List-

@imusicaddict  @elizabeth916  @jaiuneamesolitaiire  @dudii4love @ironmooncat  @beebeechaos  @astrogrande  @pearlparty  @themorriganisamonster  @sillylittlethrowaway  @ughdontbeboring  @penwieldingdreamer  @charmingballoon  @eugene-emt-roe  @sunnbib @semperamans  @groovyangelkisses  @killerqueenfan @cynic-spirit  @pomtherine  @tranquilty  @m00npjm  @twisteduniverse5  @justsomewritingblog  @nhlfs  @thepassionatereader  @rebecca-hvnstn  @nethanybear @dreamlandcreations  @buckysteveloki-me  @simsiddy  @zablife  @sansaorgana  @autumnleaves1991-blog  @butler-trouble @lindszeppelin

 @wavyjassy @real-lana-del-rey   @ilovehyperfixating  @xcallmetaniax  @lovenewfandoms   

@youngestxhearts . @abaker74  @ateliefloresdaprimavera  @thefallofthedamned

@hottpinkpenguinreads @nctma15   @vendylewin   @capswife  @alexa4040   @sweetestrose569   @18lkpeters  @thedreamingfish99   @mrsalwayswrite 

[rafesdollette]

THE PARTY & THE AFTER PARTY- (2) BOY NEXT DOOR SERIES

summary — your first 'legendary' obx party with your new neighbor word count — 2.1k authors note — this is my first time writing smut so ntm thank yew. sorry for getting it out later than promised. I've been busy adulting (unfortunately) . and i stayed up til three am writing this so...you're welcome warnings & genre —not proofread. alcohol, !reader being drunk, slight praise kink (?), jealous rafe, fingering, oral (fem receiving) . fluff + smut pairing — NEIGHBOR!RAFE x LUX!BABYDOLL!READER

You weren't sure if legendary would be the correct word to describe your current surroundings. You were thinking more along the lines of uncomfortable. You'd stupidly agreed to this party, just to be standing on the wall with your second cup of an unknown liquid that truthfully, wasn't exactly pleasurable. Though, you were still drinking it for whatever reason. You were dizzy, suffering from a throbbing headache, and pissed off since Rafe decided not to hold up his promise to show up and keep you company.

It's almost been two hours since you've arrived, and still no sign of Rafe. He promised to meet you here whenever he got done doing whatever 'important task' he had to do, which was only supposed to take twenty minutes. At this point, you've texted him at least seventeen times, all for them to be left delivered. You weren't sure if he had forgotten about you, or if he just got caught up in whatever task he was dealing with. Either way, you were still annoyed, considering he damn near begged you to come here.

As you take another sip of the off-putting liquid in your cup, you hear someone's footsteps walking in your direction, as well as a pair of hands on your waist. Obviously you expect it to be Rafe finally deciding to show up, but you're met with otherwise. You turn around, looking up to see someone you recognize as Topper, due to meeting him earlier in the week. You can't say the interactions between the both of you have necessarily been unappealing, he just wasn't someone you'd be interested in spending your time with due to his whole persona. He was honestly the last person you wanted to see.

“Topper, hey.” You force a smile, shifting uncomfortably. From all of the interactions you've had with him, this is the most touchy he's gotten. Probably caused by the alcohol he's obviously been downing all night.

“Hello, pretty lady.” Topper drawls, clearly struggling to stand upright as his hands remained gripped on your waist.

You found yourself desperately but subtly trying to squirm away from his drunken advances. You couldn't deny that Topper had a certain air about him that was less than appealing, particularly considering the current situation in which he was clearly inebriated. Despite your discomfort, you forced a polite smile, willing yourself to remain calm. “Have you seen Rafe?” You ask, looking around the crowd of people “He said he'd meet me here but it's been...” Trailing off, you look down at your phone, seeing the current time “A little over two hours.”

Topper chuckled, the sound coming out as more of a slurred hiccup. “Rafe?” He slurred, his grip on you loosening. “Last time I saw him, he was yelling at Sarah for somethin'." He shrugged, swaying a bit in his stance. “But that was hours ago. He's probably balls deep in some chick right now, knowing him.”

“I doubt that's true,” you retorted. “He promised he'd be here.”

Topper chuckled again, his hand trailing along your hip. “You trust that man too much for someone who just met him what? A week ago?” He drawled. “You could always spend time with me though.”

Though you were slightly uncomfortable, frankly you had nothing better to do. Thus hanging out with Topper was really the only entertaining thing to do around here. So you spend the next hour and a half taking shots and dancing with Topper until you're almost too drunk to even stand.

You're not sure how, but you manage to get outside to the front lawn, drunkenly stumbling to lay on the grass, looking up at the sky for a moment before your eyes close.

You're unaware of how long you've been lying there or if you passed out or not, but you open your eyes to Rafe standing over you with an amused expression on his face. “Are you drunk right now?”

“Mmh, maybe” You respond as you try to stand up, but the intensity of your dizziness makes you fall back down, huffing as you try again. Rafe watches you try a second, third, fourth, and fifth time, all unsuccessful until he sighs, lifting you in a bridal carry across the lawn and back into the house.

“Wait, when did you get here?” You ask as you lazily wrap your arms around his neck to stay steady in his grip, not that you need to though, he has a pretty firm grip on you.

“Not long ago.” He answered, carrying you through the crowd of people. “You're a real handful when you're drunk.” he noted as he carried you inside, his hold steady and secure.

“I'm not drunk.” You insist, despite knowing you were lying. You were beyond drunk, which was clearly evident by how you were currently being carried around like a child.

Rafe snickered, amused by your insistent denial. “You can't even stand up straight” he pointed out. “And your eyes are glassy as hell, which only happens when you're shitfaced. So yes, you're very drunk.”

You open your mouth to argue further, but close it as you realize the pointlessness of arguing with Rafe. You knew he wasn't going to let the idea go until you admitted you were drunk.

Rafe carried you into the living room, gently placing you down on the couch. He sat down next to you, watching you with an amused smirk. “I'm guessing you had a good night?” He asked

You roll your eyes, moving your hair out of your face “Well it's not like you were here to know. I had to hangout with Topper instead.”

Rafe's amusement fades into an irritated frown. “Why would you hangout with Topper?” he asked, his tone a little bit sharper than it was originally.

You notice the irritation in his voice and frown as well.“Because you ditched me.” You replied, a hint of frustration in your voice. “You promised you'd come and meet me but no, I had to wait for almost three hours before you finally showed up.”

Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't ditch you." He mumbled in frustration. "I got caught up dealing with some Sarah drama, and when I was finally done, I came to find you. And what do I find? You hanging all over Topper like some drunk fool.”

Your frown deepens at his words. “I was not all over him.” You stated in an attempt to defend yourself. “He was the one all over me. I didn't even want to hangout with him, but you weren't there, so I had no choice.”

Rafe's frown deepened, he wasn't sure why he was getting so upset over this, considering the fact that he just met you not long ago and nor were you together. “You didn't have to hangout with him.” He retorted. “You could've just, I don't know, maybe stayed here and waited for me. But no, you had to go and get drunk with him instead.”

You cross your arms, feeling more and more irritated by the minute. “Oh, so I was expected to just sit here and wait for you? How was I supposed to know when you were coming back? You could've been gone the whole night for all I knew.”

“And another thing.” You continue, still not letting the argument go. “Where were you even at? What was so important that you couldn't even take a second to text me and let me know you weren't coming?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I told you, I was dealing with some Sarah drama. She came to me and said one of the guys had been stealing stuff from her, and wanted me to confront him about it. I wasn't thinking about texting you, I was too focused on figuring things out with her.”

“So you ditched me?”

“No, I didn't ditch you.” Rafe insisted. “I got caught up and just forgot to text you. And it's not like I was gone the whole night. I came looking for you as soon as I was finished”

Rafe watches you for a moment then sighs. “Look, I'm sorry I forgot to text you. But I'm here now, aren't I?”

You can feel your irritation gradually fading, but you still have a slight pout on your face. "Yeah, yeah you're here " you mumbled with a sigh. “But I'm still pissed”

Rafe rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh at your grumpy childish demeanor. “Oh come on, you can't stay mad at me forever” He says as she leans over, taking your heels off of your aching feet.

You huff, avoiding eye contact and crossing your arms. “Yes, I can. I'm very stubborn if you haven't noticed.”

“Well I guess I'll have to find a way for you to make you forgive me”

And that's how you find yourself with your hands on his arms as you sit perched onto his face with your thighs on either side of his head, looking down at him as his tongue flicks between your folds.

"I-I'm not sure if this is really the best..." You try to protest, but the words are lost in the waves of pleasure that wash over you with each flick of his tongue. Your legs trembling so badly now that you can barely hold yourself up, and if it wasn't for his strong grip on your hips, you know you would have collapsed onto him by now. His rough hands slide up your body, his fingers squeezing and massaging their way to your chest. He palms your tits through your shirt, flicking the sensitive nipples with his thumbs in a way that makes you whimper.

“mmmh you taste amazing, fuck.” he groans against your cunt as he circles your clit, sucking the sensitive bud, looking up at you as he does so. You don't even have to look back at him to know he's smirking against you, seeing the way your eyes are dazed and hearing the whimpers and moans he's pulling from you.

Your breath catches in your throat, and suddenly, the room seems way too hot, the air too thick. You lean back, resting your hands behind you, finding just enough leverage to lift your hips and grind on his mouth. He groans, his tongue swirling around your clit with more pressure.

His fingers trail down, trailing over your inner thighs, and before you can even process what he's doing, he shoves one inside your squelching pussy, curling it and hitting that spot inside of you that has you seeing starts and your hole clenching around his finger “A-ah shiiit, Rafe”

“Mmmh, lookin s'pretty up there, angel” he mumbles against you, increasing the speed and pressure of his tongue as he buries another ring-clad finger into you, watching your eyes flutter and your mouth fall open, following with a string a whimpers and desperate cries.

You try and tell him that you can't take much more, your voice cracking and trailing off as he presses his fingers into that sweet spot inside you once more, making your eyes roll back. “R-Rafe...can't-”

“C'mon angel, I know you can. Gonna make you feel good- mmh...taste so sweet. Just let go for me.”

He flicks his tongue in a way that has you moaning his name so loud, you're almost sure the party downstairs can hear you clearly, the sounds so wanton and debauched. Though, you make no attempt to quiet down since you can't bring yourself to care.

He groans against you, his hot breath wavering, sending chills across your skin. You reach down, threading your fingers through his hair, grabbing it roughly, and grinding against him, feeling him moan against you more intensely now, as he speeds up the pace of his fingers.

“Oh god, I'm- I'm-” The sound you let out was almost pornographic as your throw your head back, whimpering his name as your cunt clenched tightly around his fingers, cumming onto his mouth and fingers.

“Mmmh, that's a good girl” Rafe groans against you, lapping you up before sliding his fingers out of you and licking those clean too. “Bet Topper couldn't get this pussy to cum like that, yeah?”

Your eyes flutter closed, whimpering as you let out a breathy “Mmhm” before you suddenly sit up, looking down at him. “Rafe...where did you leave my heels?” in which he simply shrugs and replies “Somewhere downstairs.”

You pout down at him “But those were miu miu”

“Mmh, i'll buy ya some more, sweet girl” He mutters as he places a wet kiss on your core.

© rafesdollette

tags: @ayy1234567 @supercutelovergirl

[mediaevalmusereads]

Baking Yesteryear. By B. Dylan Hollis. DK, 2023.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: cookbook

Series: N/A

Summary: A decade-by-decade cookbook that highlights the best (and a few of the worst) baking recipes from the 20th century

Friends of baking, are you sick and tired of making the same recipes again and again? Then look no further than this baking blast from the past, as B. Dylan Hollis highlights the most unique tasty treats of yesteryear.

Travel back in time on a delicious decade-by-decade jaunt as Dylan shows you how to bake vintage forgotten greats. With a big pinch of fun and a full cup of humor, you’ll be baking everything from Chocolate Potato Cake from the 1910s to Avocado Pie from the 1960s.

Dylan has baked hundreds of recipes from countless antique cookbooks and selected only the best for this bakebook, sharing the shining stars from each decade. And because some of the recipes Dylan shares on his wildly popular social media channels are spectacular failures, he’s thrown in a few of the most disastrously strange recipes for you to try if you dare.

***Full review below.***

Since this book is non-fiction, my review will be structured a little different from normal.

I've had this book for a while, but I didn't want to post a review before making a few of the recipes myself. I was already a fan of Hollis from his TikToks, so that might introduce some bias into my review - just so you're all aware.

Overall, I found this book to be quirky, easy to follow, and fun. I loved the bright colors and retro-feel to the photo shoots, and I appreciated that almost all of the recipes were accompanied by a picture of the thing you're supposed to be making. I also liked the blurbs written by Hollis himself; they very much felt like his voice, with his characteristic sense of humor balanced by his genuine love for baking and "old things."

Perhaps the most valuable part of this book, however, was the emphasis on lowering barriers to entry. I've read my fair share of baking guides that call for special ingredients or equipment, and there are a lot of recipes out there that are finicky and sure ton dissuade new bakers. Hollis's book, however, emphasizes that most (if not all) of these recipes can be done with basic tools - one does not even need an electric mixer (though it does make some recipes easier). There also aren't many fancy ingredients that aren't readily available at most grocery stores, so that also helps.

I do, however, have some minor criticisms which relate to the usability of this book. For one, the organization makes it rather difficult to find a specific recipe (or even category), particularly if you're like me and don't recall what decade it came from. While organizing the recipes by decade makes sense given the book's premise, it does make it more functionally difficult - you can't flip to the cake section, for example, and browse or put yourself within the general vicinity of the recipe you're looking for. Thus, readers will have to rely on either the TOC or the index a lot more, but this is a minor inconvenience rather than a huge drawback.

I also don't think the majority of the recipes are blow-your-mind good, but honestly, given this book's premise, I don't think that's the worst thing. The recipes are largely taken from sources aimed at home bakers, so you're not going to get professional-level pastries out of them. You will, however, get things that are fun and relatively simple to make, and they taste good enough to me that I'd consider making them multiple times.

TL;DR: Baking Yesteryear is a fine book for fans of Hollis's TikTok, but it goes beyond being mere merch. It not only provides historical recipes that are easy to replicate, but it also does a good job of lowering barriers to entry for new bakers. Experienced bakers might not be overly impressed by the recipes, but engaging with food history is a treat in and of itself, and it's delightful to see someone like Hollis engaging with the past with such enthusiasm and adoration.

[tsunaaism]

Okay i know you just posted a part 2 of the submissive and breedable ask but pls consider doing it for Tendou, Suna, Kageyama and Hinata this time? Thank you 💕

You tell your friend that they, “Look like a bottom.” + "Submissive and breedable."

GN!Reader ft. Kageyama Tobio and Suna Rintaro.

Warnings: suggestive content.

A/N: I'll include Tendou in the next batch. Here's a little treat for you ♥️

Bokuto, Kuroo, Ushijima’s ver.

Miya twins + Oikawa’s ver.

Kageyama Tobio

What are the chances that Kageyama Tobio is actually familiar with the term 'submissive and breedable'?

Zero? Maybe 0.05%?

There's no use pondering about it. You'd have to put it into test.

“Huh? What?"

See? It’s the exact reaction you expected. It’s funny, you think. Tobio has always been so innocent; it wouldn’t hurt to prank him a little.

"Mmhm. You look really submissive and breedable today.” You chuckle, repeating the words once more, earning another confused glance from the athlete.

“Hm?” His brows furrow, eyes flicking up and down your form, then to his own reflection in the mirror. 

He’s so clueless. 

So... clueless. 

Or is he?

"Me..? clueless?"

Uh-oh.

You said that out loud, didn't you?

Snap. This wasn't what you planned. He's starting to look a little sad now, and this is all your doing.

"It's not a bad thing to be clueless, Tobio."

He tilted his head.

"Well, you do have a point,"

He pauses, taking a last look at your form.

"But i've never been submissive and clueless. Maybe breedable, though."

Huh...

What was that?

Hold up.

HUH?

Seeing the bewilderment on your face, his eyes narrowed. A faint, lopsided smile crawled onto his lips,

"It's not a bad thing to be clueless, (Y/n)."

Lesson learned: never mess with kageyama, ever again. He knows more than he seems to.

Suna Rintaro

Ideally, he's not someone you would want to tell this to.

But, you're feeling a little bold today.

"Rin." You hover above his laying figure, snatching a chuupet away from his hands.

Clearly, you're feeling extra bold today.

"Give it back." He grunts, clearly displeased that you stole his beloved jelly fruit sticks, "What do you want?"

"Noooothing. Just wanted to rile you up."

Yes. Extra bold.

By now, he'd forgotten about the half-eaten chuupet in your hand. He crosses is arm, staying silent as he waits for whatever you're doing to be over with,

"Because you look really submissive and breedable when you're angry."

Now you've done it.

What did you expect, honestly? Pure silence? If so, you might be correct.

Ooor not.

He chuckles, clearly amused with your antics, "You wanna put it into test and see what's up?"

"Is that necessary? I know i'm right, Rin. Always am."

"You think so?"

He peers into your eyes, challenging your own confident, playful stare. Brows raised, a cheeky smile climbed onto his face.

"Don't be an all bark no bite now."

He leans closer to you,

"Lets see if you can say the same thing after this."

Err.. Good luck (3).

[lvnleah]

Pumpkin carving chaos.

a cute one about the chaos that comes with pumpkin carving and three kids!

As always thank you to @scribblesofagoonerr for the help on this one! Also features everyone’s two favourites Buddy and monkey!

“I wan’ this pumpkin please!” You told Beth, pointing at the pumpkin that she had just placed on the table. 

“That one?” Beth asked, getting a nod from you as you sat on the dining table chair. “You sure? You want me to put it in front of you?”

You nodded, “Yeah! My pumpkin, when is Buddy gon’ be here?”

“Soon munchkin,” Beth laughed, “Are you excited to do pumpkin carving?”

“Yeah! Mines gon’ be a silly face, not scary!” You declared proudly as Beth set up the table with newspaper and pumpkins at every seat. 

Ever since doing pumpkin carving with Beth and Viv a couple of days ago, you had been begging them to let you do it with your little bestie Buddy. You’d been talking about it non-stop and eventually Beth gave in and arranged something with Leah. 

Halloween wasn’t for a few days yet and Viv was currently in the hospital having another operation on her knee so Beth was using it as something to distract you with. You watched as Beth set up the table with newspaper, carving tools and pumpkins, you sat with Twix happily on your lap as you waited for your best friend to arrive. 

Moments later, the familiar sound of the doorbell rang. You jumped down from the chair and ran towards the door with Myle and Beth following close behind, “Buddy’s here!” 

“Wait a second Roo,” Beth called out as she walked behind you, “Wait for me to open the door please.”

“Hurry up, Mummy!” you urged, bouncing on your toes as you waited by the door with Twix tucked tightly under your arm. 

Beth laughed, taking her time as she reached the door. “What happened to patience, little miss?”

You let out a huff. “I wanna see Buddy though!”

Beth chuckled at your impatience, “What about Auntie Le and Monkey?”

You scrunched up your nose, shrugging a bit. “Well, them as well,” you admitted with a grin, “but me and Buddy gon’ carve pumpkins like you promised! Hurry up, Mummy!”

“Alright, alright, I’m opening the door now!” Beth said, unable to hide her grin as she finally pulled it open.

“Roo!” Buddy’s voice rang out in delight as she launched herself forward, the two of you colliding in an enthusiastic hug.

“Buddy!” you squealed, wrapping your arms around her tightly.

“I’m here as well, remember?” Monkey murmured as she stepped inside. “Honestly, guess I've just been forgotten about now. That’s the harsh reality…”

Leah rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Oh, how will you cope?”

“She seems excited,” Beth said sarcastically, “What’s got you in a grump eh?”

“Malfoy here won’t let me hang out with Kyra alone,” Monkey huffed as Leah shut the door behind her. “Apparently we can’t be trusted alone!”

Leah sighed, shaking her head, “It’s for your own safety! Them two seem happy,” Leah said, nodding towards you and Buddy as you talked amongst yourselves about the pumpkins.

Beth nodded, chuckling. “She hasn’t stopped talking about Buddy coming round to carve pumpkins with her all morning,” she replied, her smile warm as she watched the two of you.

Leah shook her head, grinning. “Buddy has been the same, she’s been more of a chatterbox than usual.”

Beth raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Is that even possible?”

“Oh, okay, I see how it is!” Leah laughed, pretending to be offended. “That’s where Buddy’s got it from, huh? And here I thought it was just Keira telling her that.”

“Like mother, like daughter,” Beth teased as they made their way into the kitchen. “She definitely doesn’t get it from Jordy, that’s for sure.”

“Ha, good one, Beef!” Monkey piped up, appearing behind Leah and holding out her hand for a high-five with Beth, which Beth eagerly slapped. “Guess I should go and help the little rugrats with the drawing side of it?”

Beth smirked, crossing her arms. “Sure you don’t mind the gunk?”

“If they try to get me with the gunk like Buddy did last year, then I’m running…” Monkey said, “Well, okay, maybe not running, but you know—quick walk and all that.”

“Sure, we get you. I’m sure you’ll be fine, Menace,” Leah teased, giving Monkey an amused smile.

You and Buddy were already in your seats, pumpkins in front of you, eager to start. 

“Mummy! Hurry up,” you huffed, swinging your legs back and forth. “We wan’ carve them!”

“Yeah! Hurry up,” Buddy echoed like a little parrot, “We need to carve scary faces to scare people!”

Beth chuckled, “Alright, since when did you two become such little monsters huh?”

Monkey took her spot next to you, grabbing a marker and handing one to Buddy. “Alright, rugrats, before you can carve, you gotta draw the face you want. What’s it gonna be?”

You gave Monkey a determined nod. “I’m making a silly face. Not scary. But maybe a little spooky, like… spooky-funny!”

Buddy scrunched up her nose, clearly deep in thought. “Mine’s gon’ be super scary! Have big smile cos’ then it’ll be friendly too. Like a monster that makes people laugh!”

Beth shook her head, trying to hold back her laughter as she pulled up a chair to help. “So, we’ve got spooky-funny and scary-friendly. I think these pumpkins are in good hands.”

Leah sat down next to Beth, grabbing a carving tool and showing Buddy how to use it safely. “Alright, little monster, remember, we’re just drawing faces right now, no cutting yet. Once you’re happy, then we’ll help with the carving.”

Buddy nodded, her eyes wide as she carefully started drawing. You, meanwhile, had already sketched out two big eyes and a wobbly, goofy smile on your pumpkin, giggling at your own masterpiece.

Monkey leaned over to check it out, chuckling. “Looks like a little pumpkin with attitude! Alright, Miss Spooky-Funny, I’ll help with the mouth. You want teeth?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Pointy ones, but not too pointy. I don’t want it to be scary-scary.”

As the drawing finished, Leah helped Buddy with her pumpkin design while Beth handed you and Buddy some tools for carving.

Beth took a deep breath as she held a small knife over the top of your pumpkin. “Alright, here we go,” she said, carefully cutting a circle around the stem. Once the lid was free, she lifted it with a triumphant smile. “Pumpkin top off—ta-da!”

Buddy peered into her pumpkin that Leah had just cut, practically bouncing in her seat. “Look at da’ guts!” she squealed, reaching in without hesitation to grab a handful of the sticky, stringy mess.

You, on the other hand, wrinkled your nose in disgust, leaning away from your pumpkin. “Eww! Mummy, it’s slimy and gross! It’s stinky!”

Monkey pulled a face of her own. “I’m with you, Roo. That stuff is just… rank.” She shivered dramatically. “Keep yer’ pumpkin guts away from me, Buddy!”

But Buddy was unfazed, squishing the pumpkin innards between her fingers. “It feel funny! Look, it all gooey!” She held up her handful of pumpkin guts, grinning from ear to ear.

Leah chuckled as she helped Buddy scoop out more of the insides. “Quite the little pumpkin enthusiast you are, aren’t ya bubba?”

Beth smiled, shaking her head. “She’s fearless, that’s for sure. Unlike these two wimps,” she teased, nodding toward you and Monkey, who were huddled away from the pumpkin mess with matching looks of horror.

You watched Buddy giggle as she played with the guts, looking both fascinated and appalled. “It stinks!”

Buddy just laughed, tossing some of the pumpkin seeds onto the newspaper in front of her. “It not bad! You try, Roo?”

You shook your head firmly. “No thank you!”

Beth grinned, handing you a spoon. “Here, use this instead, alright? No slimy fingers then.”

Monkey watched her with a raised eyebrow. “You’re really going all in there, aren’t you, Buddy?”

Buddy beamed, holding up a little clump of guts. “Look! Pumpkin monster!”

She wiggled the gooey mess in front of you, pretending it was alive, and you squealed, laughing, ���Ewww, Buddy, no! 

Leah rolled her eyes playfully and set down Buddy’s pumpkin scooper. “Alright, alright, I think Roo’s had enough of the pumpkin monster. Let’s get back to making those silly and spooky faces, huh?”

You nodded with a big grin, now brandishing your spoon proudly as your tool of choice. Carefully, you started scraping out the inside of your pumpkin, occasionally glancing at Buddy, who was still digging in with her hands like a pro.

“Monks, look! Pumpkin guts,” Buddy smiled, holding up her messy hand that was covered in the pumpkin guts. “For ‘ou!”

Monkey shrieked, pulling away from Buddy, “No way, get that stuff away from me!”

You and Buddy giggled at Monkey’s reaction, both of you clearly entertained by her dramatics. Beth chuckled, shaking her head, “Alright, let’s keep the pumpkin guts to ourselves, yeah?”

Buddy pouted a little, wiping her hands on the newspaper, but quickly turned her attention back to her pumpkin. “Fine. ‘Ou missing out monks!”

Leah handed Buddy a napkin with a grin. “Okay, pumpkin monster, let’s make this masterpiece even scarier, yeah?”

Buddy nodded eagerly, going back to her drawing. “He’s gon’ have big teeth” she announced, adding exaggerated fangs to her pumpkin’s smile.

Meanwhile, you had finally scooped out enough to start carving. Beth sat beside you, guiding your hand carefully. “Alright, here’s the tool, but remember, just take it slow, yeah?”

You nodded, biting your lip in concentration as you began to carve the first eye. “It’s gonna look soooo funny,” you whispered. 

Monkey leaned over, watching your progress. “I don’t know, Roo. He looks pretty scary to me!”

You giggled, adding a wobbly eyebrow above one eye, “He no scary! He’s friendly!”

Beth stifled a laugh beside you. “Definitely unique looking!” she said proudly.

As you carved your pumpkin’s second eye, you glanced over at Buddy’s pumpkin, which now had exaggerated fangs and wild eyebrows that looked both terrifying and a little goofy.

Buddy looked over at your pumpkin and gasped dramatically. “Roo! ‘Our pumpkin is silly!”

You grinned, “Silly but friendly, like me!”

Leah smirked, watching you both. “These pumpkins are a sight to behold. I think they’re the best girls I've ever seen, girls!”

Monkey leaned over and snickered, “Oh yeah, they’re definitely original that’s for sure,” she, being on the recieving end of a glare from Leah while she held her hands up, “Geesh, alright, I was jokin’. I’m sorry!”

Leah contninued to eye Monkey before she turned to lean towards Buddy, “So, what’re we callin’ this pumpkin then, bubba?”

Buddy looked deep in thought for a few seconds before cracking a smile, “I know! His’ name gon’ be Freddie! Cos’ he’s scary!”

You looked at your pumpkin thoughtfully. “Mine’s Steve. He’s funny, like me!”

Beth slowly nodded her head, “Unique names…but they suit them!”

“Oh yeah, like from the movie… Shit,” Monkey’s eyes widened in realisation before quickly clamping her mouth shut within seconds, her eyes darted towards Leah in her realisation of her slip up, “Uhm, yeah, forget I said out about whatever I just said then!”

“That’s a cute name… Wait, what?” Leah crossed her arms, giving Monkey a disapproving look. “Are you kidding me?”

“I swear, Le, it’s not as bad as it sounds, honestly,” Monkey murmured, scracthing the back of her neck awkwardly, wondering to herself how she planned to get out of this one.

“Explain. Now,” Leah continued to look a mixture of intrigued and annoyed at the current situation, “You hadn’t better be about to say what I think you’re about to say, Menace.”

“Well, uh… So, well me and Kyra wanted to watch a film and uh… Buddy may or may not have happened to walk in at the wrong time,” Monkey mumbled, hoping Leah hadn’t caught onto it right at that moment, “See? It’s really not that bad!”

Beth grinned, “Oh really? And what movie might that be, Menace?”

“It was just a Halloween one, you know, only a smidge bit scary but there was well, there was a lot of toys in it, and uh she loved it!” Monkey continued to fidget nervously, “Didn’t you, Buddy?”

“Uh huh, it was fun!” Buddy nodded in agreement, “Five nights at Freddies!”

Leah’s eyes widened at the title of the movie, “Are you kidding me, Monkey?! What the hell is wrong with you– You let a 3 year old watch a horror film with you. I honestly can’t even fathom the words right now… How could you let this happen!?” she ranted right there and then on the spot, and Monkey knew she was done for.

“I know, I messed up and I’m sorry, but she honestly did love it though!” Monkey tried to clarify and make it better than it seemed.

“That doesn’t make it okay!” Leah was seething with the younger girl, shaking her head, “We will be talking about this later, lets’ just finish these pumpkins for now.” She declared.

After a bit more carving and laughter, the pumpkins were finally finished. You and Buddy proudly held them up for everyone to see.

“Alright, who’s ready to take these outside and light them up?” Beth asked, clapping her hands.

You and Buddy’s faces lit up in excitement. “Me! Me!”

As Beth and Leah carefully lifted the pumpkins to carry them outside, “Mummy, I wanna carry Steve!” you said, reaching out with both arms.

“Me too! I wan’ carry Freddie!” Buddy added, crossing her arms and looking up at Leah with a pout.

Leah chuckled, bending down to meet Buddy’s eyes. “Fred’s a bit heavy, but you can help me, okay?”

Buddy’s shoulders slumped slightly, clearly wishing she could manage it on her own. “I big enough to carry him myself,”she muttered, looking a little disappointed.

Beth glanced at you, amused. “Same with you, little miss. Steve might not be as heavy as Freddie, but he’s still a bit much for you, yeah?”

You crossed your arms stubbornly. “I’m strong! I can carry him,” you protested, looking at Beth with your best “I’m serious” face.

Beth softened, giving you a warm smile. “I know you’re strong, Roo, but pumpkins like these need two strong people to carry them.” 

You let out a tiny huff but nodded. “Why don’t you girls carry the lights, yeah? That’s the most important thing!” Leah suggested. 

“Yeah!” You nodded, taking a packet of LED candles from Beth. 

Outside, Beth and Leah set the pumpkins down, and you and Buddy immediately crouched in front of them, faces glowing with excitement as Beth switched on the LED candles inside.

“Look at him!” you said proudly, reaching out to pat Steve’s carved face.

Leah nodded, watching you both bask in pride. “I’d say Steve and Freddie are the best pumpkins ever!”

[coca-lastic]

❀ More Than Friends ❀

Summary: You and Finnick have been friends since before he was chosen for the games. Finnick has been through things you haven't, including games, so it seemed impossible just to think that he might see you as an option.

Tw: No use of Y/N and no more, just stuff and sweet things <3

A/N: My first language is not English, so forgive me if there are some spelling mistakes, I would really appreciate it if you correct me! Also, this is the first fic I've published, but I'm trying my best so you can have a good time reading.

Spring was entering district 4. A truly beautiful season of the year, the summer heat is approaching little by little, appearing especially at midday. But then the traces of winter try to re-emerge at night, giving a continuous instability in the weather, something annoying for some people, but for you it was the best time of the year.

Especially today, another day in this spring. You were lying face down in the hot sand - thanks to the heat that your body has left there after long hours in the same place - resting your head on one of your hands to keep it up and be able to read the book in your hands, your hair is tied so as not to hinder your view and a beautiful view of the sea. Every few minutes you raised your head a little higher, explaining that you wanted to see the immensity of the sea, but there was something else that was calling your attention right there, swimming and floating next to the waves, with elegant movements and, why lie, That man looked too hot. It was normal to notice a man from time to time, especially on the beach when shirts were practically non-existent. Of course, it would only be normal if the man you have secretly admired so much was not your best friend.

Finnick Odair, that beautiful boy who time and time again made your brain push away any thoughts that weren't about him, or the boy who made your heart race every time he approached you. He is a very affectionate and sweet man, even if he is just your friend, hugs and kisses on the cheeks, forehead and head will never be missing. That only made you feel more and more lost, more crazy, more in love. The thought of what Finnick would be like as a boyfriend always intoxicates your mind, the thoughts of a soft kiss that you honestly needed too much, the thoughts of sleeping with him and not just because that day you decided to have a sleepover, sleep in each other's arms, in his bed like a custom, like normal. Hug HIM, Kiss HIM, Simply say how much you love HIM, how much you want HIM.

And once again, thinking only about him brought you consequences.

"Sweetheart, I know I'm pretty handsome, but looking at me and not taking your eyes off is a bit too much, don't you think?"

"Shut up, Odair," you said, returning your gaze to the book that you had completely forgotten at the sight of the man you loved emerging from the sea. Now, the only thing you were struggling with was not to look up, you didn't want to see those beautiful eyes and remember that he only sees you as a friend, you didn't want to see his muscular arms and remember that they will never hold you the way you want, or see that incredibly hot torso and your heart bursts, thinking of all the beauty you will never be able to claim as yours.

"How ungrateful, I give you a good view and you don't even let me talk, apparently I'm starting to be the vulnerable one of friendship" He said, sitting next to you and putting his hand on your back, trying to make you turn towards him. Sure, tour reaction to hes touch only made you nervous. The feel of his great wool along your back, his fingers completely touching your skin making you feel butterflies.

"Ha! You always have been, dear" You scoffed, opting to sit up, even though it meant making eye contact. "How was the water? Is it too cold?" Normally in spring it is difficult to decipher what temperature the water will be at, the climate is very changeable, so the sea is too.

"You're cruel..." He said as he shook his head and a smile appeared on his lips, revealing his dimples. "Anyway, the water was fine, a little colder than normal but nothing unbearable. "So why didn't you enter? We would have had a good rest competing"

"Well yeah, I was a little busy with the book"

"With the book or just seeing me?"

"God! You really won't stop joking about that, right? Well, sorry for looking at you, I know next time that offends you" you said, rolling your eyes and crawling a little closer to him, there was no reason to do that. Lastly, maybe you were just too cold to avoid the temptation of chaining him to your arms in a hug.

After a lot of laughter, sarcasm and jokes the sun began to set and the cold decided to come out. You started to shake a little and your skin broke out in goosebumps.

"Is the poor girl cold?" The blonde said, tilting his head a little and looking at you with a mocking smile.

"How the fuck can you stay warm all the time, I hate you." Something curious about Finnick, he is always warm, his hands are like a personalized rating and much more effective. "Give me your hand" you said, you were cold and you had a friend who wouldn't hesitate to help you with that, so he not only gave you his hand, he wrapped you around his big, muscular arms.

The only thing you could think about was that being in the arms of a handsome man, you feeling so small and him being so incredible was like a dream come true.

"God, sweetheart, you're freezing," he said as he began to rub his hands against your back. "We should walk home, you're going to get sick."

"But- no, you're almost never in District 4 and when you're here you don't have time, let's keep talking." Finnick was always in the capitol, apparently he had some jobs that you didn't know about. "Come on, admit that you missed spending a quiet day in the beach." You said, separating your head from his shoulder so you could look him in the eyes.

"More than that I missed you, but...yeah, I guess I needed a day like this" And there it was, a beautiful, warm smile, now your goosebumps weren't just from the cold. "But that doesn't mean you have to freeze to death."

Exaggerated

Finnick got up from the ground, and as you were hugging, his movement forced you to do the same. You separated from the hug when they were already standing, looking at him with a pleading face, "you know I don't get sick easily, come on."

"Why do you want to spend so much time with me all of a sudden? Normally the one who begs for more talk is me" he began to walk in the opposite direction to the sea, and thus exit to the main road.

You grabbed his arm to stop him from continuing walking, when he stopped walking you stood in front of him and said "you should take advantage of the fact that I'm being loving with you, go back to the beach, hug again so you don't 'freeze to death' and- I don't know, talk about something...you know" you didn't even know, you just didn't want to go home and the next day find out that he went to the city again.

"Owww, needy girl," he said mockingly, grabbing your hand to drag you with him. But you dug your feet into the sand, removed all traces of jokes from the air and took a big step.

"Yes, yes I am...I need you Finnick." You grabbed his hands and looked him fully in the eyes, despite the nerves it caused you. "And lately we haven't been able to see each other often and I- I understand that you're busy but I need you so...let's just go back to our previous position and talk a little, please."

"I...I can't. Look, I know that all this time we have been very good friends, I know that all this time spending days like this on the beach was part of the routine and... I know that hugging you was an act completely normal between us but I...I can't do that anymore without getting nervous, without feeling like my heart is going to explode-"

"I love you"

You didn't think about it, you just said it, you loved him, there was no doubt about that. And maybe you thought that he didn't love you the same way but you don't need to finish listening to what he says to understand that maybe, and just maybe, if he is willing, you can love each other.

And there was no response, Finnick just continued looking you directly in the eyes with his mouth slightly open and his eyebrows raised. "I...I love you very, very much...so..." you repeated, you needed an answer, your heart could jump out of your body at any moment if you didn't get it.

"I...wow, I didn't expect that" he said with a small laugh, finally, it wasn't the answer he expected but at least he got out of his shock.

Of course, that answer only made you more nervous, I loved you back or you just looked stupid. Maybe you were about to be sent straight to friendsone and that scared you too much.

"I... forget it, it was an impul-" the only thing your mind could think was "DAMN, HE'S KISSING ME" because the only reason you hadn't finished your sentence was thanks to lips crashing against yours.

It didn't take you long to keep up with him, it was another dream come true, it was a moment you had been waiting for for a long time and you didn't know it was going to come true until 5 seconds ago. He had his hands on your face, holding it as if you were made of glass, with a delicacy, tenderness and love that you had never had from him.

You placed your hands on his chest, and moved closer, if that was possible, his body colliding with your lips and all you could think about now was how much you loved him.

You began to separate your lips from his, even though you didn't want to, but you no longer had any trace of air in your respiratory system.

“I guess I managed to stop your sentence in time,” he said, looking you straight in the eyes with a smile that revealed his teeth, a smile of complete happiness. "I love you too, I love you so much sweet girl"

And they joined his lips again, for the second time in the thousands or even millions of times they would do it, because they no longer loved each other as they did before, now and in the future they will be more than friends.

Anyway, I think this part is to remind myself that this is for fun, I don't expect many likes but I'm happy to get my thoughts out of my head :v

[bedoballoons]

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ❄️

{༻~How do I escape this now~༺}

CW: Angst to fluff, Gn! Reader whos comfort language is physical, reader is mentioned to have anxiety and depression! Very slight mention of a panick attack in Tighnaris.

A/n: This is completely self indulgent, it's been so long since I've written anything and posted it so this is a little short. Just a little comfort for a mentally struggling reader, in case anyone else has been feeling this way too. You're not alone okay and I hope you feel better soon, you're amazing and no one should say otherwise. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm here. <3

(Includes: Lyney, and Tighnari)

𑁍༄Lyney:

You pulled yourself into a tighter ball, making it harder to breath even though it was already a struggle...you could feel the area under you head, wet with tears that clung to your face...what was happening. When had things started to hurt so bad...when had your mind started to think the way it did now, you shut your eyes tighter, wishing you just didn't exist...that everything you'd ever said could just be forgotten, there would be no stress anymore and no more hiding under the blankets so no one would see you upset.

"My love..."

You audibly sucked in a breath, like being silent would make him think you weren't there...you didnt want him to see you like this...you didnt want him to worry...to feel like he had to help you even though he had other things to do. "I'm okay, just taking a nap Lyney. Super tired..." You tried, but the rasp in your voice and the sad tone in your words instantly gave you away.

You heard him sigh and listened as his footsteps grew closer...until suddenly you felt his weight all around you. He'd hugged you along with the blanket and just, held you like that. Never forcing you to talk or show your puffy eyes and sniffly nose. Never forcing you out of the room or to try harder to be happier, just held you comfortingly until you moved. It helped...infact it didn't take long for you to calm down after that, tell him how you were feeling and let him help you...let him tell you you're beautiful and that he loves you. Let him listen to everything because he simply wanted to...let him in and never have to face everything alone again.

𑁍༄Tighnari:

How long had you been in his arms...minutes? Hours? Days? You had no idea...you'd lost track in seconds, but honestly...it didn't matter anyway. You just needed a little more, just needed to hear the soft hum in his voice a little longer...just needed to feel the gentle circles he rubbed into your back a little longer...was that selfish...were you annoying him...should you put on that tough face you always wore and say you felt better...even when you didn't?

"I...I'm feeling better Tighnari, I'll-"

"Mhmm, you know I can hear your heart rate speed up when you're lying right? You don't have to lie lovely...I'm not going anywhere...and there's no where I'd rather be then with you, helping you feel better...calm down after the hundreds of near panick attacks you almost had today. The only thing I want is to see you happy and I mean really happy, not pretend happy..." He pulled away from you slightly so he could place a light kiss on your puffy cheek...

It was hard, to accept his words...to think he truly wanted to be there with you even when you were at your worst, but even as you once again rested your head on him and let your emotions all out...he didn't dare move. He wouldn't, not until you truly felt like you could face the world again...and it only reinstilled that faith that he'd never leave you to handle everything all alone. You'd always have him. No matter what.

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Love you all~*⁠.⁠✧

[sandy-the-glader]

Hi!! I hope this is okay!! If not, no worries!! 💜💜💜 (I love you lots!)

Can I please request an Adrian Chase x fem!innocent!reader Where while Adrian is out and about doing his Vigilante work he comes across a bunch of criminals in a warehouse, and after they’re all “taken care of”, he hears someone crying and finds a girl hiding behind a pile of the criminal’s stuff, and she’s handcuffed to something over there, so she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to. She’d obviously be completely terrified of Vig, but as we know, he is very good at reading a person and would clearly see that she is innocent, and had been taken by the bad guys. Normally he would just set the innocent girl free and be on his way, having already taken care of the bad guys, however… He had unfortunately taken off his mask right before finding her, and had forgotten to put it back on, so she has seen his face. Panicking, he just picks her up, and takes her to his car with him, driving straight to the 11th Street Kids HQ, carrying in a terrified Y/n, he himself all panicked, and the team is like “wtf did you do????” “Did you abduct her???” And he’s just like, “No no, I saved her! But then she saw my face… So I guess, yes??”

Lmao it’s honestly a mess, but the team takes care of Y/n’s injuries, apologies for Adrian’s behavior lmao, and lets her stay there until she has recovered, as not only is she hurt, but very scared. After a while of staying with them, she gradually starts warming up to Adrian, him desperately trying to get her not to be afraid of him anymore (for a while there she was terrified of him), and their relationship eventually grows into a more romantic and intimate one🥺🥺🤧

Afraid of Me

*Not my gif*

Character: Adrian Chase x SoftFem!Reader

Type: Fluff and sorta angsty

Length: 5.4K (a bit long)

Summary: Request above <3

Trope: Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow-burn

A/N: LONG A/N!! Sorry this took forever I've been busy with a lot of stuff and I just haven't had any time but I worked on this whenever I could. Btw again I bent the request a little bit (I'm not sure if I wrote what you wanted for it and I apologize ) so I hope it’s okay I just made this go over the whole period of time the show does and like more so there's more time for a bond to be built lol

I heard a quick gunshot followed by another. Tears continued to fall from my eyes as I was tied to some random wall in some warehouse, Apparently, I was not supposed to come across two men selling heroin to each other but here I am. They claimed I saw too much, took me, and tied me up. Who even does that?

I just wanted to return to my apartment and read this new book I bought. That's all I had planned for my day anyway. Yet now I was tied to a pole in some wet and cold warehouse with random crates surrounding me. I tugged and tried to break from but it was helpless. I cried and sniffled as I continued to try but there was no avail.

Were those shots from them or someone else? Please god, let someone save me. I had been here for hours and I was scared of what they had planned for me. They already hit me pretty hard over the head which caused a small trail of blood to fall from my temple.

I heard loud and heavy footsteps coming towards me. I braced myself and waited for the figure to come around the crate to where I was. He was wearing a teal suit, with blood covering it. It was Vigilante. Should I be happy or terrified? He's a killer but isn't he supposed to be a hero?

"Fuck oh my god." He gasped slapping a gloved hand over his mouth. He was missing one exceptionally important part of his suit. His mask. That must have been why he was so frantic.

In all honesty, he looked nothing like I always pictured him. He was lanky with glasses and he looked really young. He looked mid-twenties though I had a feeling he was older. He honestly looked nerdy.

"I'm sorry. I really won't tell anyone who you are. I-I mean I don't even know your name." I stammered. He didn't care though because he continued to curse.

"Fuck fuck fuck. This is so not good." he groaned. The man ran a thick hand through his hair while bouncing back and forth. "Umm." He pondered confused about what to do. "Shit, I can't let you go." My eyes widen. He already has saved me why not let me go on my merry way? He took off his glasses and put his mask back on.

He came over to me and examined my situation. He crouched down and started untieing the rope that kept me on the pole but didn't bother with the ones around my hands or feet.

I was about to thank him for his acts but he picked me up and started to carry me out. Oh, he's actually not letting me go.

"What are you doing!?" I panicked. I started wiggling my body in his grasp then he held me tighter. "Where are you taking me? This hurts." He continued to keep walking until we reached his car a couple of feet from the warehouse.

Holding me with one hand, he opened the door to his back seat and tossed me in. Judging by his face, he didn't mean it to be as aggressive but it was enough to get me to shut up. He slammed the door and rushed over to the driver's seat.

This is it. After all that's happened today I'm being kidnapped by Vigilante and who knows what's going to happen. I guess the law doesn't apply when it comes to him. I actually can't believe it right now.

The entire car ride was silent. Not a sound from the man or from me. It was terrifying. All I could think of was what was going to happen to me. it took him forever to get to his destination and when we got there I realized it was some rundown video store. That couldn't be where we're going right?

-

"Guy's we got a fucking situation!" Adrian called opening the door with the girl in his hands. The whole team in the building stared at him with wide 'What the fuck' like eyes.

"Who the fuck is that?" Economos asked adjusting his glasses and leaning over his desk.

Adrian (not so carefully) dropped the woman on the floor making her yelp out in shock and pain.

"Did you just kidnap a girl?" Adebayo's eyes widened at the sight.

"No Adebayo!" He yelled defensively. "Okay, well technically yes but-" He was cut off quickly.

"And why did you bring her here?" Harcourt burst out running a hand through her blonde hair.

"Okay, I was doing my badass stuff, right? Like beating up these bad dudes and I found her behind some crates." They all stared at him waiting for him to continue. "And since I didn't know these dudes took a hostage I took my mask off and that's-" He removed his mask again and replaced the glasses on his face. "Really bad." He grimaced.

"Adrian what the hell dude you could have left her. She would have never turned you in. Look at her. No offense." Chris said. She stayed silent like she never heard the comment in the first place.

She was scared to death, trembling on the floor with small tear streaks down her face. Some of the tears mixed in with blood on the left side of her face. She looked innocent as could be and she definitely didn't deserve to be in this mess.

"Dude what the fuck!" He shouted at Chris. "Now she knows my real name! You have so fucked me!" He continued to cure which didn't make the girl feel any better.

"I did not fuck you! Besides it's your fault for bringing her here anyway." Chris furrowed his eyebrows looking back and forth between the petrified girl and his idiotic friend.

"What is happening out here?" Murn came out from one of the rooms and immediately regretted his decision. "We're supposed to be working on the project butterfly case what are you doing Chase?" He asked sternly.

"Oh, now she knows about Project Butterfly!" Harcourt placed a hand on her forehead.

"Well, it's not like I can kill her because she's innocent" The girl's face drained at the mention of death. "and we can't get rid of her because she might tell someone who I am!" Adrian wined out. He was finally right about one thing.

"She also might screw our plan up," Murn muttered trying to think of a reasonable thing to do with this girl.

"Then what do you suppose we do with her?" Economos folded his arms. The girl had been silent the entirety of this conversation but she finally piped up.

"Um.." Her voice caught everyone's attention and they turned their heads to look at her. "I-I can clean and o-organize around here." She stammered. "I can help you guys just please don't kill me." She pleaded. They all non-verbally agreed she had been through enough judging by the look of blood running from her temple and dirt caking her shirt.

"Yeah that honestly could be useful," Harcourt spoke. She looked around the room to only be met with agreeing faces. She let out another deep sigh before Murn spoke up.

"You will work the same hours as us and will get paid a fair amount." He folded his arms tightly over his chest. He didn't ask he just demanded she work.

"I'm also a fast learner and I can help you with anything you need. I don't have a current job so that would be perfect." She tried to look at the bright side of the situation. I can work for money but this is a destructive and hard-core business she pondered. "And since this is a very um dangerous job I just so happened to be trained in medical care." She offered.

"Oh, sweet! That's perfect so now dyed bear can stop doing such a shit job of stitching me up!" Chris smiled.

"Hey!" Economos protested. It was perfectly fine he thought.

"What about my living situation? C-can I still stay In my apartment?" She asked. They all looked around at each other because that was one thing they hadn't thought of. If they let her stay, she could always tell people without them knowing.

"If we let you stay in your apartment, you must realize he" Murn pointed at Adrian Chase himself. "has to keep watch of you? He somehow always knows if someone is doing something they shouldn't be." She nodded slowly. "And if you tell anyone and I mean anyone you will be terminated immediately, do you understand?" He spoke firmly making her hands tremble.

"I understand." She muttered.

"Now that everyone is done with this whole situation I suggest you get back to work," Murn concluded walking back to his office annoyed with the inconvenience.

-

I sat there absolutely stunned at what just happened. I just got myself into a bat shit crazy job. I mean I don't even know these people and one of them literally abducted me. This is not normal.

Project butterfly? Are these guys all heroes or something? I already was aware of Vigilante's existence and somewhat Peacemaker but there's a lot more than just those two.

"Oh my god, he didn't even untie you." The blonde-haired woman spoke in surprise. I didn't say anything because really what was I supposed to say? "I'm Harcourt." She kneeled beside me. She opened a switchblade and sliced through the ropes binding my hands together and then my feet. "Come on let's get you cleaned up. She went and collected the first aid kit from one of the desks on the left side of the room and motioned for me to sit at her desk. "What's your name?" She asked.

"Y/n L/n." I said quietly as I stared into my lap anxiously.

"Come sit Y/n." She said calmly trying to make me comfortable.

I stood up uneasily and almost fell back down. I steadied myself and carefully walked over to the chair and sat down gently. She pulled out a couple of cotton swabs and some alcohol. She poured the strong liquid onto the small ball.

"I'm sorry about him." Harcourt hummed taking the cotton swab to my forehead.

"Hm?" I replied softly.

"Adrian." She looked me in the eyes. "He just isn't all there sometimes." She mumbled. She tossed the bloodied-up swab in the trash and put a bandage over the small cut.

I looked over at Vigilante who I guess was named Adrian. He was talking to Peacemaker and he looked perfectly innocent. Not even an hour earlier he was tossing me into the back of his car. Jesus, what did I really get myself into? Not only does he have to escort me home, but now I have to work with him. He's a psycho!

"She has a point you know." The woman I was pretty sure was Adebayo spoke up. I glanced at her and she nodded trying to make me realize it. "He's a really good guy you just have to get to know him. I get it he basically kidnapped you but he's stupid in everything but fighting."

"Yeah okay," I mumbled softly. I don't care what they say now I can't trust him after what he did unless he really proves he's trustworthy. At least these people actually had the decency to tend to my wounds.

She continued to bandage and take care of every cut I had on my arms and face. I enjoyed her already because she was delicate to me and cared about my feelings. Pretty quickly she finished and put all the materials away.

"Come over here I think we found a box of old clothes you could change in." She led me back into the store and I could feel Adrian's eyes burning into my back.

-

"Dude she's afraid of me!" I panicked at Chris looking him dead in the eye. I waited for her to leave before I talked to my best friend about the whole thing.

"Well, I mean you did throw her in the back of your car. Chicks don't really dig that. Unless they're like hardcore." Okay yeah obviously I fucked up big time but I was under a lot of pressure and I wasn't doing what I should have!

"Dude I didn't know what else to do." I whined

"I mean you just gotta make things right with her I guess. I don't know I usually don't have to apologize to girls." He shrugged his shoulders. Great okay how am I supposed to do that when she's obviously afraid of me? Fuck. "Listen when you walk her to her apartment just be like 'Sorry for kidnapping you in my shitty car that was a pretty bad thing to do!' or something like that." I let out a heavy sigh. This is never going to work.

-

I came back out to the main room in a sweatshirt with the video store's logo on it and sweatpants that were longer than my actual legs with the same logo down the side of it. I held my original clothes in my arms and I was quiet.

What do I do now? Go home? How am I supposed to feel safe in my own home when I know that guy is watching me?

"Listen." Harcourt grabbed my attention. "You can take as much time as you need before you go home. I know that was probably a traumatic experience for you so let me know when you want to leave." She spoke as if she had read my mind. I nodded. "Also we have your address so we can get you home easily." Okay well, I told her my name and that was all it took to find out where I lived. Spectacular.

"What are my work hours?" I still can't believe I got myself to work for these people.

"Just don't get here any later than 8. Hours are different every day. Since you now work here I guess I should tell you who everyone is." She pointed to Peacemaker and Vigilante who were still chatting near the corner of the room "Chris and Adrian ." Then to the other man in glasses. "Economos." The guy in the other room that I could see through the glass. "Murn." Finally, she pointed at the last girl which I already knew. "and Adebayo."

I stood around for not too much longer before very anxiously describing to Harcourt my wishes to leave. She understood fully and went over to Adrian to make him take me home. He looked at me with some sort of care in his eyes but I just couldn't look at him so my eyes fell back to the sight of the floor.

"Come on kid." Harcourt motioned with her head to leave out the door with the man. I walked out the door and the cool air hit me as the sun started to sink down below the horizon.

One car ride and then I'm home. This time I got to sit in the front seat of his car instead of being thrown in the back like a doll. I secured my seatbelt and then just slumped against the car door. All I could really do was pay attention to the passing cars outside and the quiet buzz of the radio.

I also noticed the pleasing smell of his cologne that filled the car or how he hummed along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio. Someone like him is a swiftie?

"I'm sorry that I kidnapped you." Adrian broke the silence between us in an attempt to apologize. I ignored it and kept looking out the window. It was a long day and I genuinely couldn't tell if he was being sincere or was just trying to make me feel like he cared. "Please talk to me. I know I fucked up." I glanced over at him; his eyes flickered between the road and me. "Hey." He reached for my hand and flinched away with wide eyes and a quickened heartbeat.

His eyes lit up in sorrow. He looked like he felt bad. He backed off and for the rest of the car ride, he didn't talk anymore. There was so much tension in that car I felt like I was going to suffocate. I could barely look at him. I was still scared of his guts.

Every turn and stop made me think over and over about the events that occurred today. It was nauseating.

Finally walking through the door of my apartment left me with this feeling I couldn't describe. All of the events that happened today were fucking unbelievable.

The book I was planning to read was on my bed and was quickly tossed on my side table with a small thud. I sprawled out on my bed not bothering to do anything else tonight.

What. The. Fuck.

-

It's my first day on the job and my teammate already hit someone with a car. A van actually. I got to the disguised video store a bit after seven and Murn described the plan to me. Since I wasn't significant to the plan I just stayed in the car with a first-aid kit just in case things went south. And oh they did.

"Is he dead!?" I stood in the van looking at Economos dumbfounded. He didn't reply at first he was just making shocked quivering noises.

"I... I don't know?" My eyes widened as he started to get out of the car holding a crowbar tightly in his hands. I left the kit on the seats (since I had been fidgeting with the latches the whole ride) and followed him for support or something like that. Maybe I thought I could help. He inspected inside the car which he had hit fully force.

Judomaster was crawling on the ground in front of the car slowly. Economos inched closer and closer to him holding the crowbar. He whacked him once over the head and jolted backward then his body went limp. We waited and sure enough, he kept crawling. He hit him again and he still was moving. I slapped a hand over my mouth as he repeatedly hit him on the back of the head. He poked him a few times like you would a bug making sure he wasn't moving.

"Oh my god." He let out. "Fuck yeah!" He turned around to high-five me. I lightly returned it. "Don't worry he's not dead." He said sensing my shock. "They're hardcore it takes a lot."

"Well, what do we do with him now?" I looked at Economos for ideas. We ended up tying him up and throwing him in the back of the van. I watched him intensely. When would this dude wake up? I really hope not any time soon. Murn radioed us and let us know that they would be coming back soon with of course Vigilante. Economos drove us back to the spot we were supposed to be in and awaited their arrival.

"You're pretty cool." I complimented him. He was taken aback by the positive words.

"Well thank you." He adjusted his glasses with a bright smile.

We waited for 15 minutes until they finally arrived and loaded themselves into the van. Everyone looked untouched besides Harcourt's messy hair, a couple cuts on Peacemaker's face and Vigilante crying about his bleeding toe. I grabbed the medical kit I had set down on the seats just minutes before and rushed to Adrian's side.

I motioned for him to move his foot up to where I needed it. He hesitated for a moment but then proceeded to lift his foot into my lap. I scoped out his injured toe and I pulled out the needed materials.

Yikes. I was definitely glad that I stayed in the van. Adrian’s foot jerked in my lap as I tried to get some alcohol.

"Hold still!" I complained to Adrian trying to hold his leg down from wriggling under my grasp. From the looks of it, this man had managed to get half of his pinky toe cut off. That is such a bizarre thing for torture.

“It hurts so bad though!” He wined when I took the alcohol to his foot. He had obviously had worse happen to him but this?

“It could have been worse,” I said. My hold got tighter on his leg since it kept jolting side to side.

“Pft yeah, this was nothing!” He lied as if he hadn’t been complaining two seconds ago. “I’ve gone through worse in DND.” A small smile appeared on my cheeks. DND huh? Who knew the big strong Vigilante was a total nerd? And a swiftie...

“One of my characters got their arm bitten off by a bear so I’d say you’re okay,” I said. His eyes lit up at the mention that I had played before." Just sit still it's about to get worse." His eyes clenched shut.

"Oh shit!" He screamed out making everyone irritated in the van. I shushed him gently with a soft hand on his leg. He shut up very quickly but his body still tensed occasionally with every sting. I held his foot carefully as I bandaged it up thoroughly.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked. I still didn't dare to look him in the eye.

"Yeah, but I can wait until we get back." He tried to act tough but I could hear the pain in his voice. I noticed a couple of holes in his shirt. Maybe I could fix his shirt while I'm at it. God am I being too nice?

I mean I'm trying to think of the bright side of what happened yesterday and honestly, it didn't seem so bad anymore. He saved my ass and I'm having a paying job. I can only imagine the pay is fantastic for what these people have me doing. I sat next to Adrian. I was feeling a little less scared of him now when I thought about him like that. Even through the visor, his eyes were peeled onto me. It felt like since I got here they never left.

Getting back to headquarters I couldn't get Adrian to get out of the van without making a scene. I dragged him quickly into the store so he wouldn't draw any attention from people lurking around In the streets. I pulled him by his hand and made him sit in the closest chair I could spot. He whined and moaned obnoxiously loud. I knew the stories and new articles about the man. He was tough and put up a big fight, he never lost against criminals.

I grabbed the larger bandages from an area Harcourt showed me just this morning and also some more alcohol.

"Show me where you're hurt." I looked at him curious about what else had happened to him. He pulled off his chest plate and revealed the deep stab wound in his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt clearly revealed the bloody mess it left. My eyes widen. "You kept this from me until now?"

"I could handle this. The toe I'm not entirely sure." I cleaned and bandaged the wound with intense concentration. I was careful and sure not to cause any more harm after this long night. "Thank you." He said softly. I just nodded and didn't reply with anything else.

-

The days passed as we worked on this project and the days were long and there was a lot of work to do. I didn't have almost any free time anymore so it was hard to make time for friends I actually wanted to talk to or things I really wanted to do. Adrian continued to try his hardest to earn my trust and befriend me.

I started to warm up to him crazy enough. He did little things for me I thought were sweet. Sometimes he brought me breakfast or he would try to learn about things I liked so he could talk about them with me. I started to trust him more and more as the mission proceeded because he was really good company. He would talk and I would listen.

A couple of days after the whole 'Adrian getting his pinky toe almost cut off' situation he got himself arrested. I didn't even know until Harcourt talked to me about it and what Adebayo said to him. I felt bad for him because as much as I thought I disliked him, I hated to hear he was where he was and how Adebayo literally manipulated him into doing it.

The night he got out he showed up at my apartment because he still needed to check up on me and since he hadn't been able to. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough to hug him. So I did, I wrapped my arms gently around his torso and gave a small squeeze. We stood like that for a minute before he quietly wished me a 'goodnight' without any further words. That was the kindest moment we had ever shared with one another

Then the next day we had another mission. Since all this time has passed, I had been informed on what a Butterfly fully was. At first, it was entirely confusing until I realized these were tiny alien butterflies here to kill us. I know it sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.

I had to sit through a whole meeting in the morning next to Adrian where he (the whole time) joked with me. It felt sorta nice honestly. He never stopped being friendly and I just kind of started to accept it more.

And the whole mission went by quickly.

"Oh my god." I blurted when everyone arrived back in the truck. Peacemaker and Economos were fully drenched head to toe in blood, Harcourt had a good amount on her, and Adebayo and Adrian had little to none on them.

"We fought a fucking gorilla!" Adebayo exploded with astonishment. Jesus, sometimes I wish I didn't sit in the car the whole time.

"Economos is the fucking man." Peacemaker clapped him on the back with a proud grin. I did miss a lot if those two are now getting along.

"All the blood is the gorillas right?" I asked startled for a second considering the amount.

"Yeah we're all fine," Harcourt said tiredly.

"At least no one's arm got bitten off, like your DND character right?" Adrian nudged me in the side and sat down next to me. Sure I had only told him a few days ago about that but it still made me happy that he had remembered that tiny detail.

"Right." I smiled. Chris sat in the front and started playing music like he had at the beginning of the ride. I sang along with the rest of my team members to 11th Street Kids and I actually started to enjoy my work a little more.

I looked over at Adrian who was dancing like a dork. He looked so adorable? He was playing air drums and making up random dances as he went. I don't know why but I started to not hate him anymore. I started seeing this more personal side of him. Not Vigilante but Adrian.

"C'mon dance," Adrian whispered in my ear and nudged me again. I started to sway along with the group.

Later that night Harcourt made a group chat with all of us and sent a photo she had taken in the van. I set the book down I had finally got to reading beside me on my bed and picked up my phone.

Everyone was dancing in the van but on the right side, you could see me looking at Adrian with the sweetest smile on my face. The chat is filled with different emojis. The only number I had was Harcourts but from the merman emoji, I already knew it was Adrian. I liked his message and sent a fitting emoji to match the others.

I set my phone down and continued reading with a big smile. I never seemed to stop today.

-

It was the final day of the project and I wasn’t allowed to go. I wasn’t entirely complaining since this job was so bizarre but I was also disappointed. I mean all this build up and I don’t even get to go. They said it would be safer for me and of course, I understood.

But as the night carried on and the morning came through I was nervous. I had no texts or word from anyone. Sure, they still could be busy and have to do some other stuff before texting me but what if?

I heard a rushed-sounding knock on my door which threw me off. I ran to my door since the person decided to not stop knocking.

"What do you want?" I hissed as I threw open the door but I was only met with Adrian. My eyes soften upon seeing him. Oh, thank god he’s alive. "Adrian. Hi." I paused when noticing he was in a pair of shorts and a nursing gown. "Come inside." I ushered him in with wide eyes and closed the door quickly behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Listen I jumped out of a hospital building to be her so-"

"Adrian!" I scolded him for being careless. I had started to really enjoy him I didn't need him being so careless all the time.

"Shut up. Sorry, but I need to tell you this." I stared at him silently with folded arms awaiting what he was about to tell me. "Okay, so after almost dying, I know what you're about to say please just wait. After almost dying, I realized had more feelings for you than I have ever had for someone and that's like a lot for me." He stepped closer to me. "I had to tell you those feelings just in case I actually died sometime. But now I'm scared if you reject me because of the whole kidnapping thing when we first met and usually I would be okay with rejection but I don't feel usual with you." He rambled and his hands made several confusing gestures along the way.

Everything about him told me he was being truthful. His hands were trembling with nervousness, He literally came from a hospital to tell me this and he just had that look on his face.

The feelings from the other day came rushing back. I really enjoyed being with genuine Adrian. The time we spent together over the course of this project was enjoyable. I noticed small things about him like the way he always made sure to keep an eye on me and was careful not to get me into anything super dangerous. He had become almost like a personal guard.

He even taught me how to use weapons, and also never overstepped my boundaries. So yeah maybe I developed a crush on my kidnapper co-worker.

"Why are you looking at me like that I'm like really nervous right now." He asked.

"Because I feel the same way. Even though you did totally kidnap and traumatize me." I nudged him smiling but he didn't return it. "Adrian I was playing with you. But I really do feel the same way." He let out a long breath. I was quite sure he had stopped breathing for a little while.

"Oh thank god." Adrian stepped closer and picked me up in his arms as he kissed me deeply. I've kissed a couple of times in the past but never did it feel as amazing as this. I held him close to me as if he would slip away again. He pulled away to look closely at my face.

"Just because you kissed me doesn't mean I won't scold you for almost dying." I glared at him but he just smiled kindly and kissed me again.

"If I keep. Kissing you then. I won't. Get yelled at." He said in between kisses making me start to laugh.

“Don’t scare me like that again Chase.” I shook my head kissing him passionately once more. I could get used to this feeling.

[twstbookclub]

Love in the dark

Summary: Having feelings for a delinquent is... hard. Having feelings for said delinquent and changing him for the better is worse. You thought he would've forgotten you, but even with your feelings in the dark, you had hope that he would. Pronouns: Gender Neutral POV: 2nd Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Deuce Spade, Deuce angst. very light angst, delinquent Deuce, open-ended, I could follow this up one day... could Word count: 3,458

A/N: I was g o i n g to post this one after the Parallel Lines fic, but I was way too excited to post about Epel and Azul angst(I was so proud of them), that I put this on the back burner. I know we had a 2 week post period and now I've left it for a month yes I KNOW, but I was trying to let this one take a while to post, because honestly... we have no content right now.

On a technical scale, we do, at least I do, I have like 2 of them in the basement ready to be edited and like 4 as WIPs, and I'm honestly writing other fics that aren't twst related(heh follow my personal Tumblr), but there's still things to do plus life stuff SO ty all for being patient !

Your home wasn't exactly in the best neighborhood. You had a parent who was barely around due to work, which meant you were home alone most of the time. You had some good entertainment, though. These poorly built apartments had thin walls, and you lived beside the one family that was a complete 180 from yours. 

The Spade family.

You didn't know them enough, but only a mother and son existed. It was the home of a short-tempered woman and a teen delinquent, but you knew the teen.

Deuce Spade, notorious for constantly yelling and leaving the house in the middle of the night after an argument, was the main piece for your noisy neighborhood. His mother had blue hair with blonde highlights, yet Deuce only had blond hair. He used to have naturally blue hair, though.

I mean, he is a delinquent.

His mother was sweet and patient despite her son's behavior. She made sure you would eat, have clean clothes, and a clean uniform. She was practically like your mother. She would sometimes invite you to stay over for dinner, and why not accept such a kind offer?

Plus, you liked seeing Deuce. The first time you saw him was the first day of middle school, and you caught him as you were leaving your home, his teal eyes stopping on yours for a few seconds. After the first day, you went home to see his mother waiting for you right by your front door.

That was when she found out that you often stayed alone at home, and she offered you a snack of peeled apples. Since then, she would sometimes knock on your door to ask to come over for dinner or help her run an errand, which resulted in you staying over.

This was one of those times. She invited you to have dinner with her since her son had left the house again, but you were studying at the table since your home was too quiet to concentrate.

“Uhm, Miss Spade—”

The door suddenly opened, revealing a beat-up Deuce with a scowl and torn-up clothes. His eyes instantly landed on you, and his scowl grew worse.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house—”

Smack!

Deuce's mom suddenly hit the back of his head with a rolled-up newspaper, with a scowl on her own face. “Don't curse in my house, you rude brat. They are my guest, and you will respect them.”

Deuce held the back of his head with a wince and growled, looking towards his mother. “Lady—!”

Smack!

“Quit that. I am your mother and not the one you're mad at. Leave the anger outside and get showered for dinner,” she said, dropping the newspaper on the counter to finish with dinner.

“Sweetie, could you help him out with those wounds?”

You perked up at Miss Spade calling you, and then you nodded and closed your books before standing up.

“Oh, and one more thing,” she says happily, smiling at you. “Just call me Dylla. No need for formalities.”

“Oh–Dylla…” You said carefully with a nod, then smiled back and went with Deuce for him to get ready for dinner. This wasn't the first time you've witnessed this; you already knew the familiar routine after doing this a few times.

You grabbed the first-aid kit and followed Deuce to his bedroom, being stopped at the door. “You thinkin’ to replace me as my mom's kid or somethin’? You got your own lonely house next door.”

You stared at Deuce for a moment and sighed before you smiled at him. “Not at all. Being around a good person feels nice, but you take that for granted,” you spoke confidently, giving him a pat on the cheek and handing the first-aid kit to him.

“If you want to be rude, tend to your own wounds,” you said and walked off, returning to the table to study and do homework despite hearing Deuce groan and slam his door shut.

When Deuce came back, he heard how much his mother was laughing with you and serving you a bowl of food with rice. Dylla hadn’t laughed that hard in ages, and you were all smiles, too. Deuce knew all too well how his mom had taken a liking to the neighbor’s child due to how much time they spent alone, but this was excessive.

You turned and saw Deuce standing there, and then Dylla served the rest of the bowls so everyone could eat. “I don’t understand why you want them here so much. Can’t they ask their own parents to cook for ‘em?” Deuce mumbled, sitting in his spot at the table.

“Because this is my house, kid. You are my child, and they are a child that needs care. Now, stop hiding that kind heart and eat,” she said, followed by Deuce groaning and starting to eat his dinner.

It was quiet, most likely because of your presence and Deuce's tension with his mother.  After everyone finished eating, you helped with storing food away while he washed the dishes. Dylla was gone to buy fruit and snacks, leaving you and her son in awkward positions.

“Hey?” Deuce called, his voice a bit guilty and quiet. The sudden voice spooked you, making you instantly freeze and look at him.

“Hmm? What’s up?”

Deuce turned off the sink and looked at you, looking regretful. “So, I had a pretty big fight with my mom and, you know, left the house. A few days ago, though, I heard her talkin’ to my grandma about how she thinks I turned out like this 'cause she didn’t raise me right or somethin’. So, I kinda wanna ask you for a favor.”

You looked at Deuce with a tilted head, shocked about how he was different after just a little while of being able to think. “Uhh, what’s the favor?”

“Help me get my grades up. I—” Deuce stopped, looking away from you and taking a breath. “I do love my mom, and I can’t stand seeing her cry like that over me. It ain’t her fault I became such a douche, either! I just—I don’t know.”

His statements and requests made you stop to think about what the hell he was saying to you right now. 

“I’ll do it,” you responded, giving him an honest smile. His eyes lit up and he grabbed you by the shoulders, getting excited at your response. “But you have to be committed to this.”

“Seriously!? Yes!” Deuce exclaimed, pulling you close for a random hug and you tried to push him back out of instinct.

You sigh and let him hug you from the side after a bit of fighting, giving in to his efforts. “We start tomorrow, but first, please get rid of that splotchy blond you got.”

Deuce let go with a raised eyebrow. “Tch. It’s a good blond.”

“It makes you look washed out, and you still have some roots showing, so it just looks like a bad job,” you responded, grabbing your study books and placing them on the table.

“Wh—Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right about the bad job,” Deuce mumbled in defeat while touching the dead ends of his hair. “Is it really that bad…?”

“Yes. Yes, it does.” You say and try not to laugh with a small chuckle escaping your mouth, Deuce starts to laugh at the same time and he gently hits your shoulder.

After that, you and Deuce spent day after day studying once you got to his place. It was hard at first since Deuce barely studied and he wanted to distract himself with other things instead of completing the textbooks. 

“Deuce.”

“What!? This stuff is boring! Why can’t they make learning fun or somethin’.”

You let out a sigh and tapped on the textbook page he was on, “Do the page or I tell your mom to cancel on getting you snacks later.”

In an instant, Deuce stopped his shenanigans like a child and got back to work. The sight was honestly funny.

The boy was stubborn, but it took time. You did like spending your days with him regardless. You got to see him in certain ways, like when he was asleep or concentrated, and you even had to start packing him lunch since he wanted to study with you at school, too. 

The classroom was quiet since you both retreated to the science lab for a quiet atmosphere, and you were picking at the rice in the lunch box that Dylla made for you while reading ahead in your notes.

You took a glance towards Deuce and saw him studying diligently. It was charming, even if it didn’t suit him well with that blond hair and the jacket he always wore with his group of friends. When Deuce looked over due to sensing eyes on him, he raised an eyebrow and set down his notebook.

“What's up with you?”

“Huh—” you let out, being caught off guard, “Oh, nothing. You just—you look like an honor student studying so well.”

Your comment made Deuce silent for a few seconds, but then let out a cheer for himself. The sound surprised you, but you remembered that he wanted to have the image of an honor student, so you made his day like that.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to achieve! Perfect! Ooh ooh! How about like this?” He suggested while leaning back and crossing a leg over the other, making himself appear focused.

His behavior only made you laugh, and he didn’t stop until the first bell rang. He tried to continue, but you had to remind him that class was soon, and a star student shouldn’t be late.

The exams went by, and the day the grades were posted was so loud in your neighborhood. 

Deuce ran over to your door and knocked until you opened up, and you were met with a picture of the exam grades on your face. He had made it in the top 60% of the year, meaning he could graduate without problems.

“Do you see this?! That’s what I could do!!” He exclaimed before picking you up for an excited hug. You didn’t have a chance to speak at all.

It made your heart warm to see him so happy.

He deserved it.

“I could only do it with your help.” He spoke more, finally calmer now that he could let it all out. He looked at you with a smile of appreciation.

You just stared at the behavior in front of you. It was so new and weird, but it felt right. He really did deserve this.

You caught yourself staring more and more in the silence, and your ears began to burn before you looked away.

Deuce was staring too, but when you looked away, he did the same with his cheeks growing flushed. Another new behavior.

“Uhm—” you started, trying to get your thoughts together fast enough. “I'm glad you did well, and that I could help with that. It seems you do… have the capability.”

There was a heavy tension. It was awkward. Deuce took a moment to look around through the silence and noticed the boxes around your living room.

You noticed and quickly made up something. “Oh—it's just my family wanting to put some stuff into storage for space.”

“Oh… I see. Well, uh, my mom also told me to let you know that we'll be going out to celebrate her next day off, and she wants to take you with us! So… there's that.”

“Gotcha. Thanks, Deuce.” You thank him before he leaves and you close the door behind him, letting out a quiet sigh before shaking your head.

When Deuce heard the door close, he clutched his chest and let out a breath, then quickly went back home as if he didn't notice that moment.

Over the weeks, Deuce's hair grew out and he got frustrated with its length. He wanted a change now that middle school was coming to a close and he would be going to a different school at Sage Island. 

When he returned home after school one day, you and Dylla looked at the door but suddenly froze. The blond went back to blue.

Your heart began to race as it felt like time had stopped, but you couldn’t stop thinking about one thing—

He looked… like the day you met him.

Whoa.

Deuce saw your expression and raised an eyebrow, staring at you in confusion. “What’s got you all spaced out? Oh, I must look that good if you’re staring!”

“Not at all. You look like you want to be gloomy,” you said sarcastically and turned back around to study. Dylla watched as she saw how you grew flustered.

Deuce’s mother laughed and went to go and mess up his hair by ruffling the strands, causing Deuce to get annoyed. 

“Mom, come on! I just got this done!”

“How can I not? My handsome young man is back!” She responded sarcastically and even attacked him in her motherly hugs for extra effect.

Listening to them argue and joke around was heartwarming, but you couldn’t interrupt them. You carefully got your things and left them to spend the day as a family, retreating to your house.

Deuce started to disappear more in preparation for his transfer to his future school on a whole other land, and you could feel a distance grow.

Deuce started to look more lively and he acted differently; yet still had his pumped personality, but he didn't have the time to spare you a glance anymore.

With Dylla working more to make sure she had the tuition for Deuce, she was gone too. Your apartment was starting to look more and more vacant as all of this went on, a clear sign of what was about to happen.

This was how it was supposed to go anyway. You were never meant to get this close to him. You were the one who kept to themselves. So, this was good. Right?

On the day before the graduation, Dylla suggested you and Deuce hang out and gave spending money as a way to make one last memory.

You let out a sigh as you sat on the blanket in White Rabbit Park, looking up at the colorful evening sky with its orange, purple, and peach hues coloring the clouds.

Deuce came up with a couple cold drinks and ice creams in a bag from the vendor nearby, but there was still that awkward tension.

You and Deuce hadn't talked since exams were over and he began to fix himself onto a better crowd, but now the inevitable was tomorrow.

After tomorrow, when would you ever see him again?

Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of Deuce opening a can of soda, which made you jump from surprise. Your reaction made Deuce laugh before he handed an ice cream to you.

You looked at it and your expression fell a bit. You didn't like this flavor anymore. You checked the other soda can too, but it was the same thing. Did he forget what you liked?

No.

He just hasn't been around to find out what your new palette is like.

You ate the ice cream anyway under the silence of the still sunsetting sky, not wanting his gesture to go to waste. It made you feel guilty to reject something he bought for you.

“So, tomorrow is the day.” Deuce spoke after a long silence and by this point, the moon was already out to say hello for the night. 

Neither of you looked or spoke to each other, finding it too nerve-wracking to do it.

“It is, but it was a good time.” You responded with a small smile, feeling a lump in your throat starting to form.

“It was. Thanks for helping me study and getting me to where I am right now.”

Deuce looked at you shortly after, and your head instinctively turned to return his gaze. His eyes were filled with slight regret, but also had gratitude.

“It's not a problem at all. Really.”

It was silent again with stares that could pierce the heart, but he walked you home after a short moment.

“See you.” You said, watching him get to his own door.

Deuce looked at you and let out a chuckle, “See you tomorrow.”

He was right next door, but seeing him walk off like that made it seem as if he was farther than usual.

You felt your eyes water with every step you took inside your home, being met with more emptiness.

By now, your home was as empty as could be for someone who was also moving away. You stood in the middle of the box-covered living room and let out a sigh of defeat, knowing that tomorrow was inevitable.

At the ceremony, some cried and some were happy to leave, but your eyes could never stop glancing at Deuce, who looked stoked to graduate now that he had his diploma in hand. It was nice to see him like that after the trouble he put himself through.

The day went by without a single worry and all its students were just as carefree. They were happy to now move on to the next chapter. You stood at the school gates with your diploma and a small flower bouquet that Dila got for you as congratulations for your hard work.

You watched as Deuce and his mother spent their time together, and you were waiting for your own parent, yet they never showed up to anything. As you decided to leave, Deuce called out to you and ripped the second button off his uniform, placing it in your hands.

Your eyes widened as you looked at him, “Wh—what?” was all you could mutter out of your shock. 

“To… remember me, I guess. Thank you for helping me get there,” Deuce said, then he gave you a smile and went back to his mom.

You were left speechless but were slowly overshadowed by a wave of sadness. This was one of the last times you’d see him. He was moving away to go to a school on Sage Island, and you were moving to be closer to your soon-to-be high school.

But they didn't know that.

That button was the closest to his heart, and it’s known that most give it to the person closest to them. You let out a small laugh before sighing, and then after taking one last look, you left the campus.

Deuce headed up to your apartment door and knocked, a bit nervous as he knew that giving you the button was risky on his end, but he knew what he felt.

He listened, but no one opened the door. He kept knocking with a look of confusion, but still no answer.

He grew worried, so he put his hands on the doorknob to see if it was locked.

“It's open…?” Deuce said to himself before he went in. He was met with nothing.

Not a sound.

Not a noise.

Not a soul in the home.

It was dark, but everything began to click in mere seconds. Before Deuce knew it, he ran back into his home and tried to call your old phone number, but nothing went through.

You were gone, and he didn't know if that was the last.

The weather had then changed from spring to summer, followed by fall, until the days started becoming darker a lot earlier in accordance with winter. You were cleaning a cup at a restaurant job you picked up, and it was almost time to close. The seating area had a few people, but it was normal for a weekday.

You started to reminisce about your high school days and how everything was back then. It gave you a smile to remember that boy. You had your own changes to your appearance since then, but you were still the same.

The dinging of the door caught your attention and cut off your train of thought, giving a smile to greet anyone who just came in, “Welcome in! Take a s—”

Silence.

Your breath hitched as you saw the pair of eyes you were just thinking about.

His own reaction showed a bit of surprise, but he looked unfazed. Unchanged from the seasons that have passed.

He looked the same to you, and you were the one who changed this time.

“You—” followed by a pause, not knowing how to continue.

The boy gave you a warm smile as he kept standing at the door and had his hands in his pockets. He came up closer to the counter before he sat down.

“Hey.”

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

rambling about songs my brain associates with isat (pt. 1)

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

i have a 250+ song isat playlist. I am unhealthily obsessed with finding new songs to put in it. Here's a few that make me go absolutely batshit insane.

I've already rambled about this one on my art account a while back, but this song is so insanely loop-coded....

I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play, But they'll clap anyway

You could give me any song that has some kind of reference to plays or theatre and I could probably find a way to make it about isat. but specifically this makes me think about twohats and how loop views their place in the world as a performance, a pawn, not even a character but a plot device... yeah

I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving, Still my heart beats so slow

I probably don't have to break this one down for you, but yeah, Island North of Vaugarde, the forgotten language... "still the shapes fill my head" has always in my mind referenced the stars and constellations, and how they're familiar but foreign...

-

thanks to @/ricecaqes and their trust ceremony animatic, this song lives in my head rent free. Even just as a whole this song is SO isat for me. literally from the first fucking lines:

Will I know when I’ve gone too far? Or frozen myself in time? An impossible brain with impossible wants Lost and astray, with impossible thoughts

like. it really can't get much more nail on the head than that?

then you got this:

So cold, I’m freezing Every piece of praise and sign that I’m believed in Solid in a crystal ball It bends the waves of the light to mend the rest of my life

and literally the first time I heard this song i paused it and said, out loud, "OH FUCK." Because. it's act 5 siffrin. Like, the slow descent into despair followed by the determination that the only way to perserve the life and the family they love is to keep them with him, to do the exact same thing the king did...

Do you also see your future starting with the farthest part? Live your life to close the space between the end and start And when it’s hard, do you hang onto any chance That you might be in control? That you’re the one who owns

For one, once you reach the end of act 2, you're constantly aware of the head housemaiden being as far as you can go, and then you're planning around it the entire time.

And then, you have. siffrin grasping for any kind of control they can have over the situation, desperately. and failing repeatedly because they simultaneously think that they are undeserving of getting what they ultimately want... yeah...

i won't go into the rest of the lyrics because honestly it's pretty well covered by the animatic but. yeah trust ceremony my sweet beloved.

-

rest in peace siffrin no middle no last name, you would have loved the mountain goats.

yeah uh. this one is also pretty high up on songs that make me go "damn that's siffrin alright".

I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no one in her right mind would make my home her home My heart's an autoclave

i think for me it's the idea of siffrin feeling like they're nothing, and even if they are something or someone, they are bad, worse than bad, worthless. also referencing homesickness.... yeah...

When I try to open up to you I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn

I mean, this one is also pretty self-evident. siffrin losing hope while being stuck in the house... wanting to connect with the party but being completely uncapable of doing so out of the sheer terror of being left behind... act 5, with the house literally warping...

I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls And the dream went on forever, one single static frame Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name

siffrin feels responsible for the loops, every aspect of them. their deaths, their party-member's deaths, their failures, everything. and in the end, all they really wanted was for someone to truly see them? to have a family, to not be left behind and forgotten by the world.... the importance of names and siffrin's name in particular in the story also makes this hit home for me.

-

for brevity's sake i'll just start with these three- if people are interested in hearing me justify my insane music choices i'll probably do more.... for now, see ya!

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Like Real People Do

Halsin x F! Tav

18+ hurt/comfort, tenderness, implied trauma, oral (f!), face riding, fingering (f!), pants cumming (m!), a little shadowheart love at the end. as a treat!

Since fleeing the vampire lord's grasp Tav is settling into a peace she has not known for years. And finds she has a large welcome guest in her perfect exile...

Part 1, Part 2

-

Laying on her back in the grass she felt... happy. Content. A rediscovered feeling since her escape from his grip. The first gusts of night air tickling her face.

The Selune outpost had become her sanctuary, though she was still hesitant about worship. Seen too many messy gods in the flesh to put her faith in them, killed a few too.

In the weeks she had been there she had gotten stronger, her figure filling back out some. Her face a little less haunted. Even her laugh regaining its power. The life slowly dripping back into her.

Even getting closer to the worshippers, all of them recognizing her and waving hello. Of course they still didn't know who she was, her appearance quite different from the days of defending The Gate, and honestly it worked in her favor.

Of course Shadowheart had been with her every step of the way. Holding her on nights she woke shaking. Encouraged her to eat, bringing her the best fruit, a bowl filled to the brim with stew. Cheered her on as she managed her first few pull-ups in years on a tree outside.

Sitting up to breathe in the heady scent of the orchard, she heard a thud behind her. Turning to see warm hazel eyes filled to the brim with adoration, pack dropped in the grass.

"Tav!" Halsin exclaimed, rushing to her. Scooping her up so easily around her thighs. Holding her up high, close to the heavens.

His face split in a joyful smile as he spun her in a circle.

"Easy!" She laughed, his joy infectious. "You're going to make me dizzy!" As if she wasn't already, her heart lit up like a firework.

A few new scars peppered his face, but he still looked good. Really good.

"Your hair!" Tav marveled, taking a lock in her fingers. "It's long!"

Reaching below his clavicle, the chestnut tresses still deftly braided here and there.

"As is yours!" He smiled, gently pulling her long braid over her shoulder. "Impressive!"

She tried to hide the slight discomfort in her eyes. Her hair still something she hadn't processed yet.

"I'm sorry Tav," Seeing the strain in her face he released her braid, the end swinging back down to the base of her spine. His arm still holding aloft. All soft love in his eyes. "I've been so excited to see you I've forgotten myself."

She knew that he knew there was more to her discomfort, but appreciated the out.

"Oak Father preserve me, you are so beautiful. Memories didnt do you justice." One hand cupping her cheek, arm still supporting her around her thighs.

"Oh Gods, you're already going to make me cry." Tav laughed truthfully, biting her lip. "And you're going to have to put me down eventually."

"Allow me some more, please." He laughed, releasing her far down enough that she could wrap her legs around his middle. "My journey has been long and I've been nearly mad with the thought of drinking you in again."

Gods she missed the deep rumble of his voice, a bow pulled across cello strings. Sending tingles down the back of her skull.

She naturally rested her head on his chest, sighing contently. So warm.

"Please take me inside Halsin."

Laying back in a hot bath she melted under his touch. Strong hands massaging her scalp. The air heavy with lavender, rosemary.

It was almost overwhelming, being showered with so much care. After so long of being nothing but a prized posession to feel so loved was nearly too much.

Aware that she was softly crying again Tav chastised herself. Just be here, be with him.

"Would you like me to stop?" Halsin asked gently, hands slowing.

"No, you're perfect." She sighed, closing her eyes again. "I'm just... not used to this anymore. Being treated so well."

He cupped the back of her head, coming around to look in her eyes. "Did he hurt you?"

"Not physically." She winced slightly, not entirely truthful. Flashes of pale hands. Rough. Taking. "I was looked after. Oh he had endless servants to cater to me but there was only possession there, not care. Not love. I couldn't go anywhere without his approval." She laughed coldly. "Couldn't even decide what I wore. I was a glorified doll. One that he would fuck on the side. Just a thing to be paraded around. To do with as he pleases." She blinked, all of it pouring venomous from her.

"Is this...?" He trailed off, lifting her hair from the back of the tub.

"Yes," She sighed bitterly. "He liked it long."

He circled back behind her, braiding it in strong sure strokes. Kissing each tip of her ears.

She leaned back, suddenly so tired again. Would she ever be truly free of him? Would he haunt her body forever?

A sound of cutting jolted her eyes open. A weight pulling away from her head.

She turned as Halsin held a length of braid in his hand. Nearly a meter of it. The remaining falling gently onto the backs of her shoulder blades.

"Halsin!" She gasped, wide eyed.

"He cannot have you anymore." He said, voice barely above a snarl. Eyes glowing gold faintly.

She stared at him in shock.

Rising out of the tub she held both sides of his face roughly and caught his mouth in hers.

His hand gripping her hip, other tangled in her newly free hair he kissed back with restraint. A low growl reverberating from his chest.

Looping her arms around his neck she stood to go to him. He hooked under her thighs and lifted her out easily, not breaking their hold on eachother.

"Oh I'm getting you all wet." She blushed.

"Small price to pay." He chuckled, laying her down on the bed. Pulling the damp tunic off his wide shoulders.

She looked up at him, a thrill in her chest. Gods she had forgotten that he looked like that.

Tav was not a small person, tall, usually quite curvy and muscular. Filling out her clothes in several ways. Though the dark years had thinned her out significantly she was still not a waifish little thing.

But beside him? She was dwarfed. Still a whole head taller than her and twice as wide.

Crawling down to her he trailed warm up to her neck. Mouth devotional on the soft flesh.

She moaned softly, head falling back. Hands wrapping around his shoulders. Spreading her legs to make room for him between.

His calloused hands explored gently, around her hips, her waist. Up the outer side of her thigh. The touch lighting her up, leaving trails of need on her skin.

He was all slow, savoring. The pace making an ache in her pelvis. Driving her mad.

A soft growl in the back of his throat as she scratched lightly at his scalp. Saw his eyes pull closed. A shiver going down his back.

"Is this okay?" She asked softly. Is it okay that I'm broken goods? That I cant love you like you deserve?

"More than okay. Tav you bless me just being in my presence." He smiled, coming up to look in her eyes. Hand cradling the back of her head. "I'm the luckiest man in Faerun to share a bed with you."

She blinked at him, his sweet words so genuine they stung. Wanted to rip herself into pieces and rearrange them into a person who was better at this.

"Careful with the tender words, I'm all sharp edges now." She tried to joke, swallowed at the lump in her throat.

"I dont scare that easily. You are not too much for me." Leaned in to kiss her reassurance. "On Silvanus I swear it."

She melted into his kiss, eyes closing wet before the tears could escape.

"Please touch me Halsin." She urged against him, moving his wide hand to her breast.

He rumbled his approval, moving his warm mouth to her throat. Kissing, pulling, biting. The soft flesh of her neck his domain.

Calloused fingers brushing against her peaks, making her hips squirm. Back and forth across the pads of his fingers.

The teasing touch making her throb, hips arching up into his. His hard length greeting her seeking.

She felt him shiver again, taking her wrists and pushing them in an arc above her head. Snaring them down in one hand.

His free hand pushing down her front, their eyes meeting as he pressed fingers against her hard mound.

She groaned, eyelids lowering but never leaving his.

"Tell me what you want Tav." He urged lowly, fingers swirling slow sure circles. "Where you need me."

She paused. So long since she had been considered. What did she want?

"Put me on my stomach." She whispered. Shocked at her own words, how sure they tumbled out.

He hooked under her hips and easily flipped her, her shocked giggle eliciting a smile from him.

"Hips up." She grinned into the sheets. She felt comfortable, safe with him. A lightness in her chest under the waves of lust.

His arm pulling up on her hips, gripping her ass briefly. Groaning at the soft round flesh pushing between his fingers.

"Go down on me, please." She hushed. Being so direct making her blush.

"Oh yes," He rumbled, clearly more than pleased to fulfill her request.

His mouth met her cunt, licking hot stripes up her center. She choked out a moan. Hands gripping the sheets under her.

His tongue moving in flat dragging strokes, briefly pushing down into her entrance as he passed it.

Her hips already quaking, toes curling. "Ugh, that's so good." She groaned. Pushing back into his mouth.

He rumbled his pleasure deep in his throat, the reverberations against her making her shudder.

Licking tear drop around her clit, coming down to suckle it into his mouth, tongue pulsing.

She almost collapsed, seeing stars. A near indignant whimper leaving her lips.

He was suddenly gone from her and she looked down, dazed.

He had flipped onto his back, long hair splayed halo around him. Jaw coated in her wetness, his eyes flashed up to hers. Pulling encouragement on her thighs towards his parted lips. Pupils slitted, glowing bright gold.

She needed no further prompting, her thighs releasing to his strong hands.

His mouth pulling her in again, now fully devoted to her clit. Suckling and licking hard and insistent. Hand coming up to push inside her above him. Only two but already filling her to the brim, pulsing hooked fingers.

"Oh Gods," She whimpered, the arousal in her pelvis so full it ached. Both his tongue and fingers almost too much. Her hips moving in time with his worship.

She thought she would go mad, a mewling mess. All decorum gone as the pleasure overwhelmed her. Lewd begging moans muffled into the sheets her face was buried in.

He groaned hard into her, the deep sound unfairly pushing her to near edge.

"Fuck, I'm almost-" She warned, the ache pushing into itself, her limbs hot.

As if the his snarl of approval wasnt enough, his hand snapping down on her ass was overkill. The crack of it on the air joining the indecent sounds of his hungry mouth.

She pulled her arms into her body, white knuckled around the sheets, her orgasm hitting her in great violent jolts. Ripping through her, taloned and merciless. She screamed out muffled incoherent pleas into the mattress. His tongue laving up the cum that pushed thick out of her, clearly pleased with his reward, sighing hungrily into her.

Her body tremored rhythmically to his motions, little gasps leaving her in time.

He slid up over her, cradling her back to his wide chest. "Come here to me." He rumbled, pulling her to fall back onto his chest. Laying them down together.

She fell dumb into him, limbs puddled. Still trying to catch her breath. Eyelids fluttering.

"You didnt," She started weakly, gasped words catching. "We didn't get to you..."

He chuckled warmly, vibrating against her back. "No need, I already did."

She blinked, shocked. Focusing found it to be true, a wetness in his trousers.

"Oh," She marveled. Just her pleasure enough to send him over. Bit back a little proud smile.

"Oak Father sustain me, I dont know how I didn't wild shape." He admonished, gently pulling her hair behind her hair.

Her hair. She took a lock in her fingers, staring down at it.

"Tav I'm sorry I did that without consulting you." He sighed, gentle regret pulling in his deep tone.

"No," She stared, awestruck. "No I love it." Craning her neck to look up at him. "I'll think of you when I see it now. Thank you."

His eyes shone with tears, cupping her face. "You honor me." Pushing a soft kiss into her hairline.

"Hey, no crying." She whispered. Turning to press her head into his chest, letting her weight onto him. His hand threading into hers, secure. "Only I get to be a mess, okay?"

He laughed, his heart steady against her ear. A tranquil drum. Pulling her down, her eyes heavy.

"Can you stay? I dont want to be alone tonight." She whispered, eyes closing. Already drifting. Barely hearing his answer.

"I would want for nothing more, my heart."

Standing quiet at the base of a great tree, Shadowheart slid her hand into hers. Both staring down at the mound of small dirt. The night air chirping with insect song.

"I'll admit it," Shadowheart sighed, defeated. "I dont know what rites to speak at a hair funeral."

Tav smiled, squeezing her hand.

"Here we stand to honor the death of Luscious Locks..." Tav started, tone dour.

"Gone but not forgotten." Shadowheart nodded. "They will be released to the great comb in the sky."

Tav laughed. Knocking her head gently into her silver hair.

Great hands sliding over her waist. "Have I missed the reading of the will?"

She leaned back into him smiling, sighed softly at his all encompassing warmth. "Bad news, you didnt inherit anything. Sorry big guy."

He chuckled, planting a quick kiss on the crown of her head.

"You sure we cant talk you into staying another night?" Shadowheart offered, smiling warmly at him.

"Ah dont tempt me, I've already been selfish staying so long. They need me back home, someone's got to read the children their bedtime stories."

"You'll never hear the end of it, I'm sure." Tav teased, turning to hug him tightly. Burying her face in his chest.

"Thank you." She murmured. "For coming, for being here."

"Oh my heart, knowing you are safe here with us again. That will sustain me for quite some time. I'd love for you to visit some day, if you'd allow me some more of your company." His arms around her so steady and perfect she didn't know if she'd have the strength to pull away. She nodded into him.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked low, hand cupping her cheek.

"Mmm okay, just one for the road." She smiled, standing up on toes.

"Of course." He smiled, lips sliding against hers. All smothered fire and longing. A deep hum in his chest.

Pulling away too soon he rested his forehead against hers. Staring deep into her. His love pouring in.

Leaning back with a sigh.

"And you," He boomed, grabbing the back of Shadowheart's neck and planting a strong kiss on her forehead. "Take care of yourself! Of eachother, nothing is more precious."

Shadowheart squeaked, blushing. Tav throwing her a cheeky smile.

Hitching his pack up his shoulders he trailed one more kiss on her knuckles and turned to leave. Waving goodbye good naturedly at the worshippers pretending not to eavesdrop from their windows.

Shadowheart tutted her disapproval, eyes squinting judgment. "So nosy, all of them."

Tav smiled, watching him leave fondly. Turning back to her. "Oh let them have their fun. It can get awful boring around here."

She mock scoffed, hand to chest. "Oh is watching me pray for hours not stimulating enough for you? I'm hurt."

"Well the view is never bad." Tav shrugged, giggling as Shadowheart's hand shot out to pinch her side.

Tav darted around, her agile arms nearly catching her.

"No!" Shadowheart shrieked, laughing loudly. Running down the small ravine, Tav giving chase.

She laughed, breathless. Watching her silver hair bob in front of her. Catching her around the waist in a patch of undergrowth. Both tumbling laughing into the soft ground. Limbs tangled.

Tav kissed her softly, hand cradling her cheek. Shadowheart's gentle moan licking against her lips.

"I think," Tav started, pulling away. "I think I'm happy again." A soft wonder in her voice.

Shadowheart smiled up at her, eyes bright with tears. "And you even got a free haircut."

Tav laughed. "Actually, I think I want to shave the side." She mused, smoothing fingers along her temple. Gaze sliding to her green eyes, mischievous. "Wanna help?"

"Oh yes." Shadowheart's eyes alight, devilish.

"But first. Tell me everything."

~

Part 4

[becauseimanicequeen]

My Pride Month Watch List

In celebration of Pride Month, I've decided to watch some (or a lot) of the stuff I've been meaning to watch and want to watch. My list will include current watches, what I want to rewatch, and things I want to watch for the first time.

Here are all the things I will watch this beautiful month of June (in alphabetical order because, yes, I'm that person):

Current Shows

These are shows I’m currently watching and the ones I know I am starting this month.

At 25:00, in Akasaka (Japan)

This is nearing its end. I've enjoyed it so far (despite the dead fish kisses). Not one of my favorites, but definitely enjoyable.

Blue Boys Part 2 (Korea)

Part 1 was so good in terms of the chemistry and overall vibe that I'm excited to see part 2 (which is set to be released sometime this month).

My Stand-In (Thailand)

One of my favorite current shows. A naive (but slowly growing) main character, a scum male lead (whom I absolutely love), beautiful cinematography, grief is present (and I love that shit because it's like therapy for me), angst, supernatural elements, etc. It also has Up Poompat and Poom Phuripan in the main roles. I just love it.

Knock Knock, Boys! (Thailand)

This show started this week with the first two episodes, and it exceeded my expectations. I went into this series wanting to watch it for Seng (who is an amazing actor) and Best (who has something I can't quite put my finger on that pulls me in every time I see him). So far, after only two episodes, I already love it for the chaos (and I’m sure more chaos will come). Also, it includes a loud and proud pansexual character! I love both him and the representation.

Love Sea (Thailand)

It's about a writer (which means I have to watch it) and about the sea (which I love). And not just the sea, but diving as well (I love that even more). I'm starting this as soon as it premiers on the 9th.

My Marvellous Dream is You (Thailand)

I haven’t started this yet because I wanted some episodes to be out before I dove in. But I really like the gifs I’ve seen so far and will definitely dive into this series this month.

OMG! Vampire (Thailand)

This is the 3rd(?) series I'm watching with Frank and Long but I'm having a hard time getting into it. It started with a bang with Frank and Big kissing (dead fish kisses are clearly banned here, and I love it!) and then a bite (which is one of my kinks, lol). But, then... I'm hoping it picks up again soon because it has the potential to entertain me.

Only Boo! (Thailand)

Definitely not my cup of tea. This is way too cute for me. But, since it's about artists, three boys who want to become dancers/performers/idols, I have to watch it. The acting is great, though. I'm really impressed with these kids.

The Rebound (Thailand)

It's Meen. That's it. That's the reason. It's set to start on the 26th.

Sunset X Vibes (Thailand)

I need more Mos and Bank on my screen. That's it. That's the reason I'm watching this. Honestly, I don't know that much about this series, and want to go in blind. I know they'll deliver on the chemistry, and that's more than I can ask for. I'll be watching this as soon as it premiers on the 15th.

The Two of Us (Thailand)

This is the Freya and Meji spinoff from Deep Night and I can't wait to watch these mature sapphic women being domestic. The first episode came out on Thursday, but I'm watching it today.

Wandee Goodday (Thailand)

Another one of my favorite current shows. This is everything I want in a light, funny, super horny show and I love it so much. Yak is one of my all-time favorite GMMTV characters, and I love how this show has paired two buff eye candies together in Inn and Great. (I can't remember if I've seen this dynamic since Max and Tul, but my memory is fucked so I might've forgotten the others...) I just love everything about this show and the chemistry between Yak and Dee. It also includes an ace character, whom I hope I get to see more of in coming episodes. And it includes a lot of neon lights (and I'm a slut for that).

We Are (Thailand)

I'm watching this for the artists that are in the series (and since I'm an artist, it's my duty, lol). I also love Tan and Fang as well as Q and Toey (which are currently the two couples that are keeping me hooked).

Rewatches

These are, just as the headline states, stuff I want to watch again.

I Told Sunset About You + I Promised You the Moon (Thailand)

I want to be blessed with this cinematography and the amazing chemistry between Billikin and PP Krit.

Secret Crush on You (Thailand)

I just love the friend group in this show so much that I want to rewatch it again. Also, it has neon lights (and I'm a slut for that). And Looknam. Do I need to say more? I think not!

Step by Step (Thailand)

This series isn't necessarily that great, but I want need more Up on my screen. Also, Man is such a huge man (and Scandi), and that's a big plus (that he's huge, I mean). And it's got Zorzo (my ideal woman) and Poppy (he's such a gem)! Despite its flaws, I'm really excited to rewatch this.

To Be Continued (Thailand)

I've been meaning to rewatch this since it ended because I loved it so much. So I'm telling myself to dive into it again this month.

Unintentional Love Story (Korea)

There was just something about the vibe of this series that I want to experience again. Also, it's about a potter (and, as you can probably tell from this post, I love watching shows with artists of all kinds).

New Watches

These aren't necessarily newly produced. They are shows/films I've been meaning to watch for quite some time without having gotten around to it. But now is my chance (and duty) to dive in.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea)

I've heard some mixed feelings about this, but that doesn't really deter me. And since Korean BLs are usually short, it doesn't matter that much if I end up not liking it.

The Blue Hour (Thailand)

This is a film with Gun ATP (one of my favorite Thai actors), which I've been putting off for far too long. I'm going into it without knowing very much, which is just how I like it.

His (Japan)

I've been meaning to watch this for months, especially after seeing Miyazawa Hio in Egoist at the end of last year.

Light on Me (Korea)

I've heard about this from various sources a lot lately, so I figured I would watch it this month. I don't know anything about it, but I've heard it's good.

Mama Gogo (Thailand)

I've been putting this off for far too long. It was created by Jojo. That's all I need to know, and all I need to dive into it this month.

The Warp Effect (Thailand)

I've been putting this off for far too long. It's about damn time to watch it. Also, it was created by Jojo.

I could put more on my list, but they say June only has 30 days. So, I'll start with this.

[twig-tea]

Lately I’ve been feeling like Thai bl is truly all over the place with so many shows airing at once and some of the best ones flying under the radar while discourse is focused on a couple of the big messy ones. I think you’re the only person I know who is actually watching ALL of them and has been here for the whole evolution of the genre, so I’m curious what stands out to you about this current moment. Do the shows feel different to you? Is the way fandom is interacting with them changing? And what are your current favs?

I ended up writing a thesis, sorry friend lol To be fair to me there are 3 questions in there, all of them meaty! I've done my best to give a sense of where I'm at with Thai BL and how it feels like it's changed over time.

Caveating all of this: I am just one fan who I'm sure has had specific experiences that will colour my opinion, also a lot of this is just vibes so I'm open to being told I've forgotten something major or misremembered what it was like! If you are reading this and your opinion or experience is different please share, with stuff like this I'm always interested in hearing about differing opinions because the fandom experience will depend at least partly on where you hang out. For years, my main fandom space for BL was the YouTube comments section (RIP me).

Overall feel

Honestly, things overall don't feel all that different to me in Thai BL in particular, even though I'm about to talk about a lot of changes and ways it actuallyd does feel very different below lol And after reflecting about it, I think it's because these things still feel very much in flux, in a way that they've felt in flux this entire time. Producers are still figuring out the best funding and distribution models and merch models to make money; creators are still calibrating how queer these shows can be and still be popular; actors are still figuring out how to do BGP (business gay performances) without having fans interfere in their private lives off the clock. Writers are still trying to figure out how to write 12-episode arcs that don't drag in the middle or fumble the ending (which is also not new). The tension between established ships, fan expectations, and genre requirements has honestly been there almost the whole time, though the reverberations of missteps is louder now because of the larger fanbase that is (comparatively) more plugged in to live viewing. The core question in BL has always been 'how do we make this marketable', and that unsurprisingly hasn't changed, though the answer to that question has over time, if that makes sense?

Shows

Do the shows feel different? As a whole, I'd say yes. The biggest differences are of course total quantity and overall quality, but the actual distribution of % of shows that have high(er) production values (i.e. quality) feels close to the same--it was close to 50/50 in the late 2010s and now is maybe more like 40/60 with a higher percentage coming from more smaller production companies. But the numbers we're talking about are something like 15 shows in e.g. 2018 and something more like 50 shows in 2023 (being vague because there are shows that people could argue over whether they should count). The quality overall has increased, even the pulps look better, sound better, and tend to feel a little bit more put together than the pulps of even 2020 (please note that these are all relative qualifiers, most of these shows are still not objectively good). 2020 in particular was a watershed moment for high production value BLs; we get colorists and special effects artists, and sometimes decent sound production now!

There has also been an improvement in terms of what is depicted and how certain subject matter is treated very generally, though I think that's still in flux. Things like evil ex girlfriends are less common than they were and the women in BL are more likely (in general, still not always) to be treated as realized characters. We've gotten more and better femme representation in ensemble shows, and the "gay for you" trope is much less common. Consent is now considered sexy and is much more common than it was; non-consent as "sexy" has eroded and is much less common. Things that used to happen in almost every BL now happen in a much lower percentage. I also feel a little bit less worried about some of the actors on pulp sets because there is more general scrutiny about things like minor actors, intimacy coordination, BGP (business gay performance) expectations, and sexual exploitation. Overall, show recommendations these days come with fewer caveats.

The assumption that if you worked with someone on a BL once you would stay with them as an established pairing was surprisingly early in BL; I don't know if it's just because there were a few shows that had side pairings then get main shows, so the actors did work together on a few shows in a row, which made them feel established, or whether it's because the BGP started early to build hype both before and after shows aired, or whether audiences just made homophobic assumptions about how if two actors had chemistry they had to be gay for each other, and otherwise nobody would want to "play gay" more than once, or would want to have to kiss too many other men....in any case, there were huge scandals and blow-ups around this in BL on even the earliest shows, and some early shows were snubbed because of the pairing alone. Similarly, it was established very early in BL (i.e. 2016-17) that an unhappy ending for a pair would result in your show being panned; cheating was also a guaranteed flop in BL circles (though some ensemble shows that had gay relationships in them such as Friend Zone did fine with cheating plots and unhappy endings). Overall it feels like some things were only depicted in early Thai BL and creators have avoided them since due to the audience reception at the time. I will say, generally, that there have now been enough examples of people in a "branded pair" moving on to a new pair or multiple shows, that it feels less like a death knell to a BL career if one of the actors says they no longer wanted to make BLs, or if they switched companies.

I pay a lot of attention to queerness in BL, and that has changed a little bit too, though not in the way I expected. I had been expecting a more clear and steady trajectory in BL, but we've instead had real swings, and I've realized there will just always be shows that feel more or less actually gay or queer than others, and that's ok. Early Thai shows really spoiled us for good queer content, GayOK Bangkok and Diary of Tootsies are still shows by which i measure what we get now, and both of those are from 2016. I would say that more "mainstream" BL (i.e. by one of the major production companies) hit what turned out to be queer saturation around 2020 and that's where I was most surprised not see a more clear trajectory; rather than things getting more queer from there, I'd say a greater percentage of shows overall feel more queer, but we haven't (and I now suspect won't) reach the queerness we had in Thai tv in 2016. That being said, my secret running list of things I want to see in BL gets shorter every year as entries get crossed off, so I would say the range of queer experience is slowly getting captured as more content continues to be made by a wider range of production houses (PrEP being mentioned in a mainstream show is my white whale).

I know some people assume that shows are higher heat now overall, but I don't think that's true. I do think Thai television producers and directors have overalll gotten better at capturing sensuality, and acting workshops have improved chemistry-building overall too. But from what I can tell the ratio of high head and low heat content is still pretty similar to what it's always been, maybe slightly higher (e.g. at a quick glance I'd guesstimate 30% of shows had a sex scene in 2018 vs 40% in 2023).

Fandom

The main differences in fandom from the really early days and now are the ways we, as international fans, are able to engage with each other, with thai audiences at the same time, and with content creators, and the entitlement that comes with that. In the 2010s we were almost always watching after Thai airing, with either fansubs or, later, official subs, trailing online releases by days or weeks, which themselves may have trailed the Thailand airing date by days or weeks or sometimes even months. That became less true around 2019ish, and especially in 2020 when I think Thai producers were desperate to reach audiences during the start of the pandemic (and when audiences were desperate for something to distract us from what was happening in real life).

As a fan in the mid-late 2010s, watching something was either unofficial via a fansubber, or you were wading through hundreds of Thai comments to find anyone else writing about the shows in English. Now, it's actually rare we don't have immediate international distribution, though it may be paid. If the subs are not up at the same time as the official upload, even on free sites, fans get furious. It's a bit surreal to see people complain about waiting a few hours for subtitles, especially on YouTube, when we sometimes waited months for a series to finish being subbed (not to say people didn't complain back then too, because they sure did! But there were fewer international fans overall, and it wasn't an expectation that there would be subs, so fewer people complained when it happened). This meant that a lot of people only watched shows when they were complete, and people were not watching with any kind of synchronicity.

With international fans moving into simultaneous watching with Thai audiences, we suddenly had the chance to talk about shows as they were airing and affect the conversations about them and even, sometimes, the decisions. Folks seem to have differing opinions about what makes a BL, and what makes a BL good, and they are vocal about when a show doesn't meet their standard. This has always been true, but the strong opinions have more of an effect on the discourse when they're expressed in real-time to the show being aired. Also, when we have literally 3x the number of Thai shows being aired (nevermind other countries which have also increased), it seems so much more egregious to me to complain if a single show doesn't meet your particular taste. Just go watch something else! That was less possible in 2016, but now nobody has any excuse lol Please note here that I'm not saying shows should not be criticized. But when you have one loud faction saying shows should have nothing but innocent kisses if any skinship at all and showing more is distasteful and possibly homophobic, and another faction saying a show should be panned if they don't have at least one sex scene and if there is no good kiss it's homophobic, I don't know where that leaves content creators but I see the tension and how it sometimes results in my least favourite tropes like "blushing maiden" even after a couple has canonically had sex. These factions have always existed in BL fandom, this is not new, they just both seem particularly silly now with so much content to choose from.

The shows that get attention and the shows that get snubbed feel the same too, in all honesty. You can ask yourself the following questions:

Is the show a little slower paced?

Are the story beats less melodramatic?

Do its characters feel more human?

Do they feel more queer?

Is it a comedy?

Is there any risk of an unhappy ending?

Do people not think one of the lead actors is hot?

Do people ship one of the lead actors with someone who isn't his costar?

Do people have to do anything other than go to YouTube to watch it?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and especially to the last one, fewer people will be watching, even if the show is good. That's always been true. [Shows I'm thinking about when I say that: Make it Right, He's Coming to Me, My Ride, You're My Sky, Oxygen (though the sides in this one are also at fault), YYY, Something in my Room, Ghost Host Ghost House, Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul, Cooking Crush.] All this is to say, there have always been shows that have been ignored, though I agree with you OP that with more shows airing, more are being ignored at any given time.

The other thing is that when a show is good, it doesn't necessarily invite discourse. The messes are often what encourage people to dig in, fill in gaps, linger in the adrenaline. The part that does feel different is also related to the increase in genre BLs; genre stuff in general tends to get more attention in fandom spaces, and the way people are functioning as fans feels different in that they're bringing the way they interact with genre content to BL as BL has started having larger and better funded genre content. I'm thinking about those early genre BLs like He She It, My Dream, Love Poison, Golden Blood, So Much In Love, Why R U....we started getting genre shows in BL in I think 2017 and basically had 1-2 a year until 2020ish and then it increased from there; and the ones that had funding and decent distribution got engagement until they started going off the rails, and then they had even more engagement and then fell off. I don't think it's a coincidence that the shows last year that got people to write meta were La Pluie, Be My Favorite, and I Feel You Linger in the Air. When a show is building a world, there's more to say and interrogate about it, and when a genre show fails, it can fail more spectacularly than a regular romance story. The most popular BL shows used to all be straight-up BL bubble romances, but I think genre shows really started to take over a greater percentage of the popular spots in 2022 and 2023. Again, the main difference here is that there used to be 1-2 stand-out shows per year, and now there are closer to 6+ per year, and as we got more stand-out shows the variety of what type of show stood out as popular has expanded. I do think the overall percentage of shows that are more standard romance plots has reduced, partly because Thai production companies are running out of popular y-novels to adapt. So I'm anticipating we'll continue to get more genre content going forward, and maybe a higher percentage of original works too.

Shows I'm Enjoying Right Now

Right now, the Thai shows airing that I'm watching are:

Cooking Crush

Dead Friend Forever

Cherry Magic Thailand

City of Stars

The Sign

Playboyy

PitBabe

7 Days before Valentine

For Him

Of those, I'd currently most recommend Cooking Crush as a generic BL recommendation. Dead Friend Forever is very good, but is not a romance and is difficult for some to watch (there are a lot of dark themes in addition to the gore and scary bits).

Cooking Crush is doing so many things I love. I've written about the way it's set up its major conflict to be amongst the friend group here, and way the show is depicting communication between the two main characters and how they improve their communication with one another as they get closer here. Two of my biggest BL pet peeves are a conflict for the sake of a dramatic penultimate episode that ignores or retcons a character's growth or the building of trust that a couple has already gone through in the series, so the fact that this show is working so hard to establish strong communication between its leads and then setting up the significant drama to actually about friendship rather than romance is something I cannot overstate my excitement about. To tie this back into what I wrote above, this reminds me of Diary of Tootsies and I mean that in the best possible way.

Dead Friend Foreever is, like I mentioned above, not a romance; it's a slasher horror melodrama with a very well established mystery, an ensemble cast of mostly hateable characters (which I admit isn't usually my thing, but since they're likely all going to die as a result of the genre they're in I'm finding that more tolerable than usual, and there is at least one character I like). DFF did a great job of structuring the story for the ultimate payoff of information reveals. There are a lot of shows that have been messing with non-linear storytelling recently, Cooking Crush being one of the ones that actually does this poorly in my opinion, but Dead Friend Forever effectively uses non-linear storytelling so that we find out important pieces of information about particular characters at a time when that information will have the most emotional impact on what is happening in the "present" of the storyline. Every time there is a reveal, it informs what we've already seen, recontextualizes it, and means we understand some of the character motivations and actions differently from when we saw them the first time. I mentioned above that there are dark themes in this show; one of the things that I really like about this show is that the impact of class is not glossed over, and that the consequences of these events feel very real for the characters; people do terrible things in this show, but these actions are not treated lightly by the show itself.

You'd think these two shows would have nothing in common, but there are things that they share that put them both in my top category. Generally, in both of these shows, the character arcs are clear and logical; when a character does something, even if I don't like the action itself, I can understand exactly why they that and can see how it matches where they are in their arc at the time. The shows show change in characters as a result of what they experience, and the relationships in this show really matter. When characters start acting in ways that feel out of character or against their own arc because they have to in order to drive the plot forward, I struggle to remain invested; that's not happening with either of these shows. Both of these shows also treat serious topics with seriousness, and consequences for actions are real and felt by the characters in the show (and if someone gets away with something, the show is clear that this is not just). Nothing has happened that hasn't been signalled or implied earlier. Both shows also have clear class consciousness and represent the disparity caused by classism in a critical/harsh light.

Whew! I think I got to everything you asked. Thanks again for the extremely interesting question!

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister "Timeless" P1

Hello! I've been writing for awhile but this is the first time writing bsd. I gave Oda's sister a name but I'll do a version with y/n if that's more your speed. Synopsis: After Odasaku's death Dazai searches for a way to fulfill his last request but doesn't know where to start. That is until he meets Odasaku's mysterious little sister. Warnings: Usual bsd warnings. Murder, talks of death and suicide, Dazai being a sociopath. Part 1/3

Osamu Dazai was not a good man. 

In fact, it would be absurd to even call him an average man. No, it seemed the fifteen year old boy knew just what kind of evil laid in every single cell of his body. It had always been that way, corrupting him for his entire life and there was no stopping it. 

So the mafia executive had just accepted it, falling in line as the youngest person to ever command a fleet with absolutely no mercy. That’s just the way things were, and there was no changing them. Although, it wasn’t like the boy wanted change either. 

The chaos, the destruction, the death, it was all he had known. 

Hearing his newest victim's scream seemingly brought him out of his own philosophical thought though, causing the boy to lower his eyes and focus back in on the chained man in front of him. 

Quite honestly, he had forgotten what the guy was being captured and tortured for but Dazai hardly cared, knowing his orders were only to silence him permanently. 

Blood began to pour down the victim's face then, watching as the teenage boy reached for the gun on his belt only for the guy to start to scream and shout in his face. “Think about what you're doing, boy! If you kill me you’re going to regret it.” 

Dazai only turned his head though, a crazed look in his eye as he cocked the ammunition. “You should have thought about that before double crossing the port mafia.” 

Taking a step forward, the boy then pointed the barrel towards the man only for his anger to turn into pure fear, his cries turning into silence as he fully looked in the eyes of his executioner. 

And what he saw was absolutely nothing, just a soulless boy with no remorse for his actions in the slightest. “Your eyes hold no feeling, Someday that will be your downfall, someday you will regret the blood you spill so easily.” 

For a moment, the bandaged boy paused, curiosity taking up his features as he spoke through the darkness. “And why is that?” 

The prisoner then pulled against his chains, lunging for the kid to no avail as his face contorted in insanity in order for him to reply. “Because one day, there won't be a stranger on the other side of that gun. What will you do then?”

Before he could finish, Dazai’s finger pulled the trigger, piercing the enemy five times straight as his lips curled into a bloodthirsty and terrifying smile. 

And in his head, the boy replied to his outrages question as the blood began to soak his feet silently. The same thing I always do, because I don't see anyone but strangers. 

The man's lifeless body slumped against the chains a moment later as Dazai let off ten more shots into his cold dead muscles as he twitched at the impact. The move was inhumane and psychotic but that was always Dazai’s way of doing things. 

He didn’t become a port mafia executive without spilling blood after all. 

After a moment, the barrel of his gun clicked him back to reality, all the bullets emptied in order for the boy to simply put the weapon back onto his belt and leave the room in silence.  

He felt no remorse for the stranger, or for the brutal way he had ended his life. He never did. Everything had become such second nature to him over time. 

Well, there was one person that knew him better than the rest. He was the person that he trusted over all else, almost like a family he never had. The words were still heavy on his mind even now.

Oda Sakunosuke

And whether Dazai liked it or not, he knew that Odasaku was the only one that kept him from going over the deep end into insanity. He kept the fifteen year old boy together and kept him human. 

But now he was dead, so there was no one left to hold back the darkness. 

So instead Dazai allowed it to fully swallow him whole. 

Just then, his phone began to ring inside his pocket before the boy finally put his gun away and answered the call with a low murmur. “Mori, what do I owe the pleasure?” 

HIs boss’s voice was immediate, echoing through the darkness. “Ah Dazai, how’s my favorite executive doing? What’s the report?” 

Staring at the unmoving body, Dazai then sighed to himself before turning away from the sight in order to scrape some of his blood off his shoes. “The target has been eliminated just like you asked.” 

Mori only hummed at that, satisfied with the report. “Very good. Just as expected from the famous demon prodigy. I thought you could use a job after everything that’s happened. You know, to clear your mind from Odasaku’s tragic death last week.” 

At the sound of Oda’s name, the boy couldn’t help but tighten his hold on the phone as unwanted memories flooded into him without permission. 

Because try as he may, Dazai couldn’t help but continue to hear his dear friend's words in the back of his head. Oda told him to become a good man but that was easier said than done. And though he wanted to fulfill his last wish, the boy had no idea what the mere concept of good was. 

For you see, his blood was port mafia black through and through whether he liked it or not. It wasn’t a light switch he could flick in his mind. No, Dazai knew that he had been permanently tainted since he was a child, and there was no reversing that. 

He was no longer a fifteen year old kid but rather the demon prodigy. 

And demons couldn’t be cleansed into angels. They just couldn’t. 

But because of that, the boy felt a gnawing guilt at the bottom of his stomach at all times of the day. It’s like it was punishing him for ignoring his old friend's request. But quite honestly, he knew he deserved it.

Oda was wrong after all, he couldn’t become a good person. 

He didn’t even know what good was.

Dazai then felt his mind snap back into place just as he heard Mori finish one of his usual rambles as the boy narrowed his eyes. The boss totally brought up Odasaku because he knew it would garner a reaction from him. 

But he wasn’t going to allow that. No, he was too prideful to show his flaws.

Because of that, the boy then forced a smile to his lips before speaking plainly. “Is there anything else you need from me, boss?” 

The title came out slightly demeaning, Dazai using the term boss with a twinge of mocking vigor to get under his skin. The boy loved to do that, walking the fine line between respect and disrespect. 

“Not partially. I just wanted to see how you were doing. He was your friend after all.” Mori’s sharp dark laugher filled up the space as the boy physically flinched at the world friend. 

But once again, Dazai refused to give him satisfaction, the boy simply smiling to myself before turning his head to the side in reply. “I’m great. Thanks.”

Then Dazai simply hung up the phone, the empty space echoing with a long dial tone as he dropped his bandaged arm down to his side as the sunken dead look in his eyes stared at the empty walls for what seemed like forever. 

He wanted to see how he was doing?

Of course he wasn’t doing okay.

--------

Dazai had tried to go back to his room at the port mafia but the longer the night got, the more his tired anxious eyes refused to shut. And when they did, he saw Odasaku’s life slip from his fingers, just like it had a week ago. 

The boy cursed Mori for bringing up such fragile memories so casually, his body tossing and turning with a groan before finally giving up in order to wander the night streets aimlessly as the cold winter air hit his face. 

Although he said that though, the boy quickly found himself wandering into a very familiar place, his hands reaching into his pocket in order to pull out a small silver key and push it into the lock. 

The door swung open sadly, allowing the kid to step inside before finally feeling the weight of reality crash down all around him. This was Oda’s place, the apartment where Dazai had found himself many times over the years whenever the mafia felt a little too suffocating. 

It was also the place they would go sometimes after having a few too many drinks at  Bar Lupin.

Glancing over to the empty living room he pictured a memory of the past as he imagined the ghostly silhouettes of himself, Ango and Oda as they drank around the table and laughed as the men showed him some new card game. 

And as cold as Dazai’s heart was now, he missed those times. Why did he take such a thing for granted? Why didn’t he cherish those nights more? He could never get them back no matter how hard he tried. 

In fact, the boy had come here tonight in search of something familiar, for something that reminded him of that safe comforting feeling he always had with his old friends. But now, it was cold and empty, just like how the boy felt on the inside. 

He couldn’t find Odasaku’s presence anywhere, not even in this place. 

Sighing to himself, the boy then walked over to the liquor cabinet in the corner before taking out two glasses and filling them up with whiskey. 

Then Dazai lowered his eyes before placing one of the drinks on the table where Oda used to sit before moving over to the other side with a sigh. 

Staring at the empty, cruel space across from him, the boy then took a sip of his whiskey as an unwanted wave of emotion coursed through his throat. “Odasaku..” 

Suddenly, the entrance to his friend’s apartment started to jiggle and move, like someone was on the other side, as Dazai felt his defenses awaken immediately.

 It sounded like someone was trying to break in. But who? Oda told him the only people that knew this place were him and Ango. 

Quickly taking out his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before slipping out of slight just as the door flew open a moment later. Whoever was trying to steal from his old friend was going to pay for sure. 

Dazai then listened carefully as a pair of shoes moved across the wooden floors, the movement halting as the stranger seemingly stopped to stare at the two strange whiskey glasses on the table. 

He couldn’t see very much from the angle he was in, only that the stranger was wearing a large black hoodie, the fabric covering up the entirety of their frame and hiding their identity completely. 

They then leaned down to touch one of the glasses as the boy quickly cocked his gun in order to place the barrel of his gun onto the back of their temple as the stranger froze. 

And when he spoke, it was lethally calm. “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

The stranger was quiet as he watched their hands reach towards their jacket pocket only for the Dazai to assume it was a gun and take action. No, he wasn’t an idiot. Like this guy could pull a fast one on him. 

Because of that, Dazai’s face immediately hardened before reaching forward in order to grab the intruder's arm, his fingers wrapping around the surprisingly slim surface before kicking their legs out from under them as they fell backwards onto the ground. 

The boy hardly noticed them give a small squeak of surprise at the move. 

Pushing the barrel of the gun towards the stranger, the boy added slowly. “You have one chance. Tell me why you’re here.” 

The person underneath him tried to squirm but Dazai didn’t let them free, tightening his hold on the trigger before narrowing his eyes. If they didn’t want to tell them who they were then he could just examine the corpse later. 

Yet that’s when they heard the intruder speak, soft and quiet, barely above a whisper. And call him crazy but they sounded feminine. “I’m looking for someone.” 

Not understanding, he dug deeper. “Who?” 

The girl was quiet then, her voice trailing away only for his gun to push even deeper to her temple in warning. No, he wouldn’t allow her to stay silent after dishonoring his old friend's old place. 

A moment later she spoke again, except this time the boy was in no way prepared for her answer. “My big brother.” 

And try as he may, the demon prodigy paused at that, his hand frozen on the gun as he couldn’t help but turn his head to the side. What the hell was she talking about? Why would her big brother be at Oda’s old place? 

Although that’s when a crazy possibility popped into his head before the boy brushed it away immediately. No, that was ridiculous. There was no way.

Scoffing at the idea, Dazai frowned. “Your what?”

The stranger then seemingly sighed to herself before lifting her hand up as his defenses slammed back up in case she tried to try something funny. “He stopped answering my letters a week ago so I thought something might have happened to him. I hopped the first flight I could get and followed the return address on his envelopes.”

Then he watched her reach into her pocket only for his hand to push it back with a lot of anxiety. He didn’t trust this girl, she could’ve been lying, screwing him over. “Nice try but I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I’m not in the best mood right now.”

Stopping immediately, the intruder’s hand grew tense and rigid against his fingers and for a moment the boy thought she was going to fight back or use some unknown ability on him. 

Not that it would matter though considering his ability canceled out everyone else’s. She didn’t stand a chance, especially while he was holding her. No, Dazai would win. It was a guarantee. 

Yet it seemed like the girl wasn’t as dumb as he once anticipated, her hand unmoving as she allowed the boy to hold her captive. “Then grab it yourself and see I’m not lying.” 

Grab it himself? No, why would he do that? That would just give her the opportunity to stab him or inject him with some kind of poison or something.

 Yet the alternative of having her retrieve whatever it is she was trying some him was equally dangerous. No, he couldn’t allow her that kind of freedom. 

Because of that the boy narrowed his eyes before hastily reaching his hand out in order to shove it inside the girl’s small pocket on the front side of her drawstring sweatshirt only to pull out a folded envelope just like she had described. 

Lifting up the white paper to his face, the boy then recognized the very same address they were at right now, Oda’s address, the one that no one was supposed to know except him and Ango. It was suspicious and strange but she also seemed to be telling the truth. 

Just then, Dazai’s face started to grow insanely pale, shaking away the thought before crumbling the empty envelope in his fingers with a scared mutter. “What is your name?”

Her response was immediate, causing the fifteen year old boy’s eyes to widen and his world to come crashing down around him. “Asagao Oda.”

Suddenly, it felt hard to breathe, to think as the boy’s lips slipped out a breathy gasp in reply. No, it couldn’t be. She was fucking with him. There was no way, there was no way he wouldn’t have known about that. Oda was his best friend and he never mentioned this. 

Shaking his head in denial, Dazai’s hand began to shake on his gun, his teeth gritting together as he shoved the barrel further into her hidden temple. “Now I know you’re lying. How about you try again?”

The stranger could see this also though, her body moving once again in order to prop herself up onto her elbows and put her hands out in some kind of defense. “I know it’s probably hard to believe but I am..I’m....

Yet the moment Dazai saw movement, his crazed eyes snapped down to the girl before reaching forward in order to grasp onto the top of her hood with a furious shout.” Bullshit, who are you?!” 

How dare she deceive him by telling such crazy lies. She would pay for that, for soiling Oda’s honor. He just had to know who she really was first. 

Pulling the black fabric down a moment later, Dazai’s gun wasted no time, slamming the barrel into her chest as the girl fell off balance and back onto the floor with a breathy gasp. Now to see who this witch really was. 

Yet the moment he adjusted his eyes, Dazai found the very same deep crimson hair he knew for years, pouring down around the sides of the hooded jacket as he stared down at her deep blue cavendish eyes that he had looked into so many times before. 

Oh my god, she was a spitting image of his old friend, Odasaku. 

But how could that be? 

He watched her groan at the sudden force, her eyes squinting behind a pair of large round glasses that took up the majority of her face before opening them again and looking at the gun pointed at her chest. 

And though she was so close to death, the girl didn’t dare move, her eyes locking back to the boy’s before Dazai felt his voice break with utter shock.

In that moment, for a split second, the boy didn’t feel like a mafia executive but rather just a confused fifteen year old boy, his voice incredibly small.  “It can't be..Odasaku had a little sister..?”

Because if this was true, why didn’t Odasaku mention her, why didn’t he tell him about her? He thought they were friends. But was that wrong? What else did he hold back from the boy? 

Yet the moment Oda’s name slipped from his lips, the girl's eyes widened before lifting her hands up to his black jacket in order to utterly ignore the gun that was pressed to her chest. “Wait, you know my brother? Where is he? Please tell me..” 

She sounded desperate, the action causing Dazai’s finger to float above the trigger before those horrible memories of his best friend's death flashed through him once more. If she really was his sister, then he knew she’d never find him. 

Because of that, the boy told the truth, his voice dull and cruel. “He’s dead.” 

And then he waited, he waited for the girl to cry, to scream, to plead with him for something that was already determined and carried out. That’s what the normal response would be, that’s what everyone else did when someone died. 

Well, not Dazai but literally everyone else. 

Instead, the girl who claimed to be Odasaku’s sister only stayed silent, fingers not moving from his jacket in order for her to close her eyes with something that Dazai read as disappointment before she muttered sadly. “Oh, I see. I hoped that wasn’t the case.” 

Pausing for a moment, Asagao then added softly. “How did he go?” 

Flashes of that day began to play in his head once more before the boy decided to give her the truth, knowing it wouldn’t matter either way. “He was murdered. I saw it myself.” 

Once again, the large rimmed glasses girl only remained silent, like she was thinking something to herself before Asagao replied back sadly. “That must have been very hard on you. I’m sorry..” 

And for a moment, Dazai paused. Why was she saying that? Wasn’t she Odasaku’s sister? Surely she sould’ve been the one more broken up about this information. It was like she didn’t even care. 

No, that wasn’t right. It was more complex than that. She looked sad enough, but it seemed like she couldn’t make some kind of connection in her brain. In fact, the strange girl showed more emotion towards a total stranger than herself. How strange. 

Because of that, the boy turned his head in curiosity. “Why do you say that?” 

Asagao only smiled though, the tips of her mouth not quite reaching her eyes as she glanced over to the two glasses of whiskey next to them. “Because if I know one thing, it’s that anyone that pours a drink for the dead truly valued their life.”

Sighing to herself, the girl then looked back to the gun that was holding her hostage before nodding. “Either way, thank you for telling me, and for being there with him in his last moments. I’m grateful to you for that. At least now I know he was truly loved by someone.”  

Grateful? Now that was a new one. Usually his enemies weren’t grateful for the torture they received. And Dazai would be lying if he said he wasn't fascinated by the different and strange response. 

So much so, a sadistic smile spread across his face without meaning to. “Should you really be thanking me when I have a gun pressed to your chest?” 

The girl then paused before glancing back down towards the gun in order to lift her fingers up and press the barrel further into her chest with a sad smile that Dazai couldn’t decipher. 

And when she spoke, it brimmed with so much honest passion. “Now that I found out how much you treasured my brother, I wouldn’t mind dying if it’s you that pulls the trigger. Then maybe I could finally feel close to him..” 

Pausing slightly at her honest declaration, the boy processed her words with interest and confusion. No one had ever said that to him before. No one had wanted him to be their executioner before. How strange

And it was no secret that Dazai didn’t think much about life, calling it meaningless and pointless. Hell, he had tried to die hundreds of times in order to finally painlessly drift away from such mediocrity. 

But staring at the girl that somehow wore his best friend's face, he couldn’t help but be intrigued by her. She didn’t seem scared of death like others. Her face wore a sense of peace and calm he had never seen before from a victim of his. 

 No, that’s not right. She was scared of death, of course she was, but somehow this stranger found comfort in him pulling the trigger. And for a moment he wanted to ask why, to figure out the methods and inner workings of the girl who claimed to be Odasaku’s sister. 

Yet the moment his fingers graced the trigger once more, the door next to them seemingly slammed open in order for another voice to enter the space.

And this time, they sounded stressed. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

Then all at once, both Dazai and Asagao turned in unison only to find a very familiar frazzled man staring back at them, the girl speaking first. “A-Ango?” 

Ango only narrowed his eyes though, the man gazing at the very strange and suggestive position the two were in before shaking his head in disbelief. Dazai was practically straddling the poor girl right now with his thighs and without context things did look slightly odd. 

If the gun wasn’t there the man surely would’ve thought something else was going on. 

Dazai didn’t seem to care about that though, his head turning in confusion at the strange girl. Wait, she just said his old friend's name. That meant.. “You know him?” 

Asa didn’t have time to reply though, Ango quickly pointed to the red haired female before speaking with exasperation. “You..what are you doing here?” 

The man then gave Dazai a look, causing the boy to sigh and finally let his captive go in order to put the gun back in his hollister. Ango didn’t seem on edge by her which meant that she wasn’t a threat, currently..

Feeling her lips curve up into a goofy smile, Asa then simply leaped from the floor in order to race towards Ango with her arms open wide as she beamed. “Ango! What a surprise, I guess this our first time meeting. How awkward, am I right? Ha ha ha. Small world. That’s crazy, really.” 

The man only sighed though, already expecting her moves before placing a hand on her face and pushing her back lightly in order to stop the assault. “I knew you’d come here. Good thing I had the government track your movements just in case. Looks like I got here just in time.” 

Frowning at the rejection, Asa then pouted her lips before rubbing the spot where his hand was just moments prior. “Well that’s a little invasive..”

Ango didn’t feel as carefree though, the man immediately putting a hand to his temple in the sign of a headache. “Obviously it was needed. Did you not listen to your brother’s instructions? He said for you to stay out of Yokohama, to not go looking for him. Or did you forget that?” 

Dazai then watched the girl pause before dropping her hand in order to awkwardly laugh in a fake cutesy manner. “I may have chosen to admit that part from my memory. Oops?”

Shrugging her shoulders in reply, Ango only shook his head, obviously over her antics. “Oops? That’s all you have to say? Seriously Asagao, what would Oda say..?”

Yet at the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai felt his head perk up. Even Ango was mentioning Oda and her together. That could only mean one thing. The things she was claiming were true, weren’t they? 

Not wanting to believe it, the boy called out. “Ango, was she telling the truth? Is she really..”

Although before he could finish, Ango simply put a hand up, not wanting to deal with such a revelation for some reason. “Dazai, please..” 

The way he was shutting him down was strange, almost like the man didn’t want Dazai to put together the facts that Odasaku had a little sister and that she was standing before them. But why? Why was Ango, a traitor, allowed to know and not him? 

Something was off about all of this. 

Just then, his thoughts got interrupted as Asa gasped loudly, her eyes turning towards the boy in excited disbelief. “Wait, Dazai? As in Osamu Dazai? No way, for real?!” 

And before he could process it, the girl was up in his face, her blue eyes piercing his through her circular frames in order to look at him like some sort of rare museum artwork she had just found. 

Speaking happily, the girl beamed. “Oh wow. I can’t believe it, brother wrote about you in his letters. I feel like I already know you…” 

She then reached her fingers out to touch him, causing the boy to counter only for Ango to do so for him, his voice firm. “Asagao!” 

Then Odasaku’s sister’s face lit up with some kind of realization before taking a step back with a sort of bashful smile. “Ah, right. Personal space. Sorry, my bad. I got excited. I just wanted to take a good look at you. I guess most people would think that’s rude though. My bad. You probably think I’m some sort of freak now. Ah, well that’s nothing new really. 

Putting her hands up in defense, Asa then backtracked. Well she tried, but Dazai could still see the giddy glee in her face, almost like she was trying to suppress it. “I'm just really happy to meet you, that’s all. I just know we can be good friends. Oh! I know, what if..” 

Ango only stopped her again though, almost like he was afraid of what she was going to say next. “Asagao…” 

Turning her head, the girl hummed in confusion, obviously not seeing anything wrong. “Hmm?” 

The government official only frowned though, his hands moving up to hover over her mouth with an exhausted sigh. “Stop talking.” 

Asa didn’t seem offended though, her brow turning down in understanding before nodding with an apologetic smile. “Right, sorry. Overdoing it. Got it.” 

Shaking his head in exasperation, the government official then turned away from her before pointing to the very curious mafioso that was watching. “Dazai, I need to see you outside. And you..” 

Asa pointed to herself at that, turning her head innocently. “Me?”

Nodding once, the man continued roughly. “Yes you. You better not move a muscle cause when I come back I’m sending you right back home.” 

Dazai then watched her lips open with pure shock in order for her voice to come out in a whine of protest. “Whaaa? Come on Ango. That’s not fair. I just..”

Ango only cut her off though, his tone serious. “It’s not up for debate. Your brother is gone and I promised him that you would never get involved in this. I’m not going against his wishes and neither will you. Now pack your bags and get ready. We leave tonight.” 

Then before she could protest, the man pushed Dazai out of the small apartment door, the boy looking back at the strange new girl only to watch her eyes flash to his in some sort of unexplainable longing before the door covered the sight. 

And call him crazy but it looked like she didn’t want him to go. 

How strange, he had never seen that kind of response from someone before. Usually they were glad to be rid of the demon, of the boy that had plagued their life. If anything, Asa should’ve been thankful that the guy that had threatened her just moments ago was leaving. 

But somehow she wasn’t, and that intrigued him a lethally dangerous amount. 

-------------

The cold crisp air hit him immediately, the feeling soaking into his bones and yet Dazai couldn’t focus on anything but the closed door just inches from his face. So much so, his fucked up mind started to run in all different directions without permission. 

And he’d be lying to say he wasn’t desperate to know what was going on behind Odasaku’s sister's eyes. He wanted to pick at her brain, to pry it open and see for himself the strange puzzle he had just discovered. 

He had a lot of toys but she was something different. It made him want to play around with her more often, to see what other interesting and amusing expressions she could make besides the ones tonight. 

Feeling his gaze focus more sadistically in thought, the boy suddenly took out his thoughts by his ex friend’s voice, a sense of warning in his tone. “Dazai, don’t even think about it.” 

The mafioso then closed his eyes before finally letting go of the thought in order to turn towards Ango innocently. “Whatever do you mean?” 

He only glared though, already knowing the naive tone was an act. “Don’t start. I know you better than anyone. You’re thinking about going back in there and manipulating Oda’s sister for something, aren’t you?” 

He wasn’t wrong. The boy had wanted something from her, but it was only to figure out more about her. Did that include messing around and being a little underhanded? Well, how else would he do it? That was his signature. 

Yet at the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai paused. No, he could decide all that later. Right now he needed answers. “Ango, what’s going on? Odasaku never said anything about having a little sister. How do you know her? Why didn’t he tell me?”

The information felt like a sting, coursing up the boy’s entire throat. He thought Odasaku and him were best friends. He thought they were close, that they knew everything about each other. But now it was obvious that he was keeping secrets this entire time. 

But why, what was the reason? 

Ango only sighed though, his fingers moving to his glasses in order to push them up. “It’s a long story, Dazai. I’ve actually never met her before. Oda simply put me on the phone once when he was drunk. None of that matters though. You need to forget you’ve ever seen her. No one is supposed to know she exists . She wasn’t ever even supposed to be in Yokohama.” 

Pausing, the boy frowned. “Why?” 

His old friend then shook his head in order to speak sadly. “Because Oda knew about the kind of people in his life, he knew what they could do to her. That's why he sent her away, so she could be safe. And regardless of what happened between us I still will fulfill his wish. He was my best friend.” 

At the sound of his explanation, Dazai couldn’t help but scoff. Best friend? Yeah right, he didn’t have the right to say such a thing anymore. Not after what happened. “Says the man that betrayed us and the port mafia.” 

He then watched Ango flitch in order to dip his head in shame. Dazai still hadn’t forgiven him for the betrayal after all. This government official snuck into the port mafia as a spy and he was just supposed to trust everything he said? 

No, those bonds were already broken. 

Ango then paused before finally speaking again, his fingers balling into a tight fist of emotion. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Dazai. But those nights at Bar Lupin meant something to me. You both meant something to me. That’s why I’m here in the first place. She needs to stay out of this.” 

Although that’s when his eyes flicked up in order to lock eyes with the young executive. “And that means she also needs to stay away from you.” 

He looked so serious, so odd that Dazai couldn’t help twist his lips into a cruel tight lipped smile. The way Ango was glaring at him, it looked like he was viewing the boy as evil incarnate. 

And though he wasn’t wrong, the boy remained silent. What a scary expression. 

Noticing his silence, Ango continued. “You asked why Oda never mentioned her to you. It’s because destruction and corruption follows you everywhere, Dazai. He knew how black your soul is and what you could do to her if given the chance. The demon prodigy has no place out of the darkness, and I'm sure you know that also.”

Dazai then felt his lips fall open with understanding, a low pain in his chest as he was hit with the reality. Was that really why Odasaku never mentioned his sister, because he was scared of his best friend destroying her? 

Ango mentioned him sending her away in order to be out of reach of the dangerous people. Did that include him also? Was Odasaku scared of the boy, of his twisted personality that much? Dazai didn’t know, and that scared him. 

But then again, it made sense. 

He was a demon, that fact was very well known. 

Perhaps Odasaku was right. If he did get his hands on Asagao then she would surely become tainted and destroyed like everyone else in his life. He was a poison, and his best friend was just trying to keep his little sister from ingesting it. 

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, the boy then looked up from his unraveling thoughts in order to find Ango’s serious and unwavering stare. “ So I’m telling this now, Dazai. Walk away. Don’t get involved.” 

Then the man simply let his hand fall before putting his hand on the doorknob with a sad mutter under his breath. “Let the last piece of Odasaku be untainted, for you and me both.” 

Just like that, Ango was gone, leaving Dazai alone in the darkness as it swallowed him whole once more, the familiar black covering his entire silhouette. 

And for once, Osamu Dazai didn’t argue with his ex-friends command. 

Almost like he knew that he was right, that Odasaku’s sister shouldn’t ever go near him.  

----------

Ango felt the bright lights hit his eyes as he made his way into the small apartment in order to squint and walk around the living room with a heavy weighted sigh of exhaustion. This night was far too stressful. Ah well, at least it is over now. 

Yet the moment he entered the space, the man was only met with silence, causing his ears to ring with fear. “Asagao?” 

Frowning, Ango then moved over to the small table in the corner only to find a tiny yellow sticky note on the surface as the black colored ink mocked him all at once.  

Ango,  If you wanna bring me back then you gotta catch me first >:D

Crumbling the paper between his fingers, the man then looked up only to find that the fifth story window was open, the sharp breeze stunning him into silence. No, it couldn’t be. 

She was gone. 

“Asagao!” 

-----

Part 2:

Part 3:

(Just an intro to the three part short story I have.)

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Bar Daddy

I take immense pride in my bar. In just two years I've founded the classiest tavern in town, but I still like to bartend now and then. I can charm any patron with prompt service, good company, and the finest drinks.

I usually aim to give everyone a high-class experience, but I don't even bother trying to charm the man currently walking in.

He comes around every so often and completely disrupts the sophisticated atmosphere, dressing like a prostitute and loudly commenting on the gentlemen in the room. Needless to say, that gay idiot keeps coming back to drive away my paying customers, and each time I become a more and more short-tempered.

I feel my patience already wearing thin as he creeps over to me. "I told you not to come back here!" I growl under my breath.

"But this is the gayest bar in town," he whines back in return.

"This is the finest bar in town, so get out!"

Just before I explode in anger, this man begins batting his eyes. The gaze beneath those fluttering eyelids is intense. I feel the scowl on my face loosen as my arms fall limp. My whole posture seems to sag, and I can feel his mesmerizing power over me.

"You need to loosen up, mister," I hear him say, "You think this isn't a gay bar? Just look at yourself!"

My head obediently turns and glances in the mirror as he continues to whisper in my ear.

"You're happy to have gay men in here! This bar was founded on your own values, right? Masculinity, homosexuality, and promiscuity."

I suddenly realized he is right.

"Wow, I'm happy you're here, bud," I smile, already hoping I can give him the time of his life in my gay bar.

"Glad to be here, daddy, but don't tell me you've forgotten how you greet all your customers!"

I panic! I have no idea how he thinks I should greet my customers. Normally, I put on a charming smile and ask them what they'd like to drink, but I can already tell that isn't a good enough strategy for this new guy.

"A kiss, big-bear!" he laughs, "A sloppy, aggressive, wet kiss. You need to show your patrons who's in charge here or they'll get out of line."

That makes so much sense. I rush around the bar and grab the twink by the waist, forcing him close enough to plant a long smooch over his mouth. I'm overjoyed to see that my embrace has left him flustered and rock hard.

"What can I get you to drink, son?" I ask.

My voice feels lower. I don't remember being a baritone, and my body feels so much heavier. Maybe I've gained some weight, but it could just be the uniform I have on. Wearing nothing but an apron might just make me look thicker than I am. At least I'm lucky enough to be covered in body hair or else I'd be freezing in here!

"A round of shots for the room, daddy!" he screams gleefully, planting a wicked slap on my bare ass.

The sting on my cheeks makes me angry at first, but after glancing into his eyes I realize I overreacted. I always like it when a customer smacks my ass anyway. Honestly, that and them randomly groping me is the only thing that turns me on anymore.

"Coming right up, boy."

"Good bar daddy," he praises.

I don't know when it happened, but the entire place is redecorated. Gone is the wood panelling and tasteful art, replaced by neon lights and a loud music. All my regular customers have seemed to embrace it, twerking half naked on the dance floor.

A crowd of more gays bursts into the bar, wildly running up to order their drinks. It's the most business I've ever had!

The rest of the night is going to be a whirlwind! A dozen wandering hands immediately find my body among the crowd, tickling my sensitive areas, groping my big muscles, and fondling the package beneath my apron. These boys certainly feel close to their daddy!

The only way I can get them to calm down is by grabbing their shoulders to force my tongue down their throat in a sloppy kiss. I barely have the time to keep up with tending the bar.

I don't mind it though. The constant stimulation is intoxicating, fueling my passion to make my boys happy. Every single one of these men are going to leave my bar happy, drunk, and satisfied! I am their Bar Daddy after all.