#so i'm making the executive decision to stop for today and do the first grade lesson plan tomorrow morning

[nicoalkaysani]

I need to be forced to do my lesson plans on sundays bc now that I have to plan for three groups instead of two, I can't fucking do them in one day without having a fucking meltdown

[the-acid-pear]

And that was The Human Centipede (First Sequence). I'm glad it ended because I'm about to pee myself.

Honestly that movie was just amaizing. Just incredible. It was pretty slow at the start but never particularly boring. Any scene with Heiter on it was instantly entertaining so y'know. Those silent moments of him just moving and making faces are just, oddly entertaining! The actor fucking Killed it.

It's insane tho because this movie is nothing like what I had expected. I thought it was gonna be a gorey shit fest with vomit inducing scenes but... This was just an evil scientist being campy as shit. Like that's it. With a tint of drama near the end.

I love the way this movie did a lot of things. I like how for starters it made the main 2 victims Jenny and Lindsey pretty fucking stupid to the point it's just funny how they're just taking every bad decision ever. Like I said, Lindsey is the stupidest horror protagonist I've ever met and I've met Ashley Joanna Williams. Anyway aside of working for the sheer comedy this is helpful too for you to not feel that bad about them.

On top of that you then had Doctor Heiter who was So fucking campy and fun and silly like y'all I cannot even begin to explain what a treat was to see this guy do shit. Like his appearance is just otherworldly, his deep black eyes, his perfectly square jaw, his wide shoulders and tiny hips, his fit but otherwise frail old body, he's a lot. And the way he speaks and the way he acts it's all just so much fun and it makes this movie so worth it.

AND YET this movie didn't stop being sincere to itself, and the ending showed that. It showed great fucking character development from the Japanese guy (sorry I don't know his name) who before was sort of... Comedy relief of sorts I guess? He was just there to oppose Heiter. And by the end he was who lead them to their near salvation. And it was such a heartfelt scene, with his speech that I STILL LOVE THAT JOSEF HEARD IT IN ITS ENTIRETY SUCH A RESPECTFUL LITTLE CUNT LMAO. Like it was a reminder of yes these people might deserve this they are stupid and bad people but that doesn't mean they deserve the horrors they experienced. Like he said, he might be smaller than a bug (which I just realized is probably in reference partly to the fact he was made into a centipede) but he too wanted to live. It's an incredible scene.

Ending was rather disappointing tho like I feel like a less bleak ending would've been more fitting. Because as my dad pointed out these aren't even cops so it's not like someone is coming over to check on them after they didn't return. And even if they do she'll be long dead by then from both starvation and infections.

And now that I say infections, I gotta say, the costume design WAS a highlight. The way you can see it begin to rot and shit, very cool! Simultaneously, it's worth mentioning that this is one of those gore but subtle movies. Even when teeth are being pulled out it focuses on Heiter's struggling mug instead of the act itself. Probably the goriest was near the end when because of how much they were moving their stitches were open and they were bleeding a lot. Or maybe when he checks Jenny's cheek.

Hell, like, there literally was ONE shitting scene and that was it.

The color grading was also just beautiful. The way the color is completely drained out in the ending only Lindsey's body being colored, it's just...

It's an statement I never thought I'd make, but The Human Centipede is a surprisingly beautiful movie.

Overall, do I think this movie is good? Yes, I think it's incredible. I think it set out to do something and it achieved it. Even in my disdain of the ending I feel like everything here has been carefully planned and executed perfectly. Now, do I recommend it? ...Honestly yeah. If you like horror then you'd def watch this one.

I think the reputation it gets comes from the sequels which I'll talk about later today but this one as it stands is a very solid movie.

I hope he steps on someone in 3 too . . .

🐛🐛🐛 (<- closest thing to a centipede) time. Why is he holding such a picture 😭😭😭😭

EDIT I HIT POST LIMIT ONE POST LIVEBLOG gonna update in real time 👍

The disservice horror movies do to European tourism....

These women are amazingly cartoony. Old man was so too tbh.

Heel to the neck heel to the eyeball you have witness do it I trust you queen take the care you're free.

The way she bounces 😭

I feel like I've seen this actor before. Butch vibes also. Kinda in the same way Craig has butch vibes. Y'know?

Doctor Hater........... Wouldn't have drank a weird guy's water under no circumstances btw they're so dumb 😭

This old man is insane /pos

Big ass mouth <- very little.is going on

Babygirl waist o_O

I actually enjoy the whole explanation of course eating shit can't make your survive because it's all waste and the more EH EH HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING but yeah suspension of disbelief I guess

GIRL HE'S SO FUCKING SKINNY YOU'D HAVE CHOKED HIM SMASHED HIS HEAD IN WHERE IS YOUR DRIVE TO KILL I'D HAVE TORE HIM TO PIECES

My dad was so right this guy is incredible he turned purple bro

He's so cute UGH. DONT WORRYYYYY. Also- GAAAME OVERR I'm obsessed. Anyway uh? Oh yeah the eye comment lol. I loved that I get that ^_^

This movie is so funny

BREAKING DOWN THE MISTAKES MADE IN THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE! Don't visit Germany.

This is actually the stupidest horror protagonist I've ever seen and I met Ashley Joanna Williams

I have a foot fetish don't do this to me I'm getting hard.

Okay this movie is really fucking slow and boring for most of it and it's 8 pm so I'll finish it tomorrow normal liveblog style 👍