#so i'm also so happy to hear you think i portray him well 💕

[crystallizsch]

Hello! I would like to say that your art my favorite in the entire fandom, I don't know how to describe it but it just feels the best 💃 The way you draw the characters is very nice, Jamil is one of my favorites and you have his personality captured very nicely! Anyway, I hope you have a good day and I hope a lifetime supply of your favorite food drops from the sky for you 🤸‍♀️

AAHH THIS IS MAKING ME CRYYY ANON

i've never received a compliment about my art like this before so that's such an honor to hear 😭💕💕

THANK YOU SO MUCH I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST (*chucks this out here as another thanks*)

[lilacs-stash]

hey I wanted to ask. how do you think balloon being aroflux (in your headcanons, at least) impacts their relationship w the rest of the grand slams? I know you ship them and I just. I wanted to see the aromanticism elaborated on beyond it just being there for brownie points. (Not to accuse you of anything! I’ve just seen a lot of people slap QPR on them and call it a day, no further thought. I know you’re THE grand slams person, so I know you have thoughts on this, and I’m inviting you to share them!! I’m interested!!)

:D <- just got an excuse to ramble about their HCs

Okay before I get into this I want to mention I myself am not arospec, I do have quite a bit of input from Max who IS aro on this cuz we discuss the grand slams's relationships a lot. But they are also not aroflux. Point is this might not be the most accurate aroflux rep but I am trying 👍

Oh and also please do not they/them my Balloon. She uses she/he.

Since you said grand slams and not "Nickel & Suitcase" I'm going to start with the most simple one. Baseball. They aren't partners 👍. Post show they're good friends and metamours. (Now I do have more to say about their relationship just nothing else in relation to how Balloon's romantic identity effects it)

Now Suitcase. They're queer platonic in the sense of "very much platonic and very much partners", as that's the way they come off to me when watching them. I think they probably dated for two weeks or so at the start before realizing that they aren't romantically attracted to each other, which was a part of Balloon realizing he was aroflux. Also I think the two kissed exactly once back when they were dating and then decided it's gross 👍

Nickel. Oh boy this is a long one. I have a older post talking about this but might as well say it again. Okay so Nickel is romantically attracted to Balloon and she's alterousally attracted to him, well mostly the aro does in fact flux sometimes and it ends up /r or /p. (I previously described this as "Balloon's attraction to Nickel is pretty much "Man. I kinda want to hold him."" I now have an actual word for it yay!)

They both more so care about being partners in general, rather then what kind of partners they are. And tbh they probably couldn't describe it if they tried. They're very unlabeled to me. They're not /p or /r or /qp they're just…Nickloon. Yeah 💕

At the start before they considered each other partners Nickel wanted to be in a standard romantic relationship with Balloon (she wasn't out to him at the time) but now the idea of that feels…off to him. He's incredibly happy with how things are and he knows Balloon doesn't want that.

Now some smaller stuff, they tend to call each other more /p stuff. Dude bro, "bud" is the big one (yeah that's just canon). Sometimes you'll get something like babe though. Balloon's not really comfortable with other people referring to their relationship with romantic terms (accept like, Suitcase). So if Nickel calls him his girlfriend that's great if someone ELSE does the same yeah no that's uncomfortable. He usually just calls Nickel his partner or guy and then boyfriend is mostly for being affection directly (ie she'll call Nickel her BF when talking to him as a form of affection but not causally to other people)

Another thing is both kisses and "I love you"s are very intimate for them. I admittedly am not very good at portraying the kiss HC (I just like drawing kisses 👍), but I do genuinely think they only really kiss in private and/or emotional moments. Now of course they say and show each other they love them a lot and in many ways, but directly saying I love you tends to be mostly for when the other needs to hear it. Reassurance type thing. "I love you, you're loved, it's gonna be okay."

Idk how to end this but wow I wonder what Lilac's favorite grand slams ship is

[the-lark-ascending69]

your nancy wheeler whump is incredible, ty for the food

— sincerely, a nancy wheeler fan who is also a whump enjoyer

About this post, I think.

Omg anon hiii i'm so happy you liked it!! 🥰🥰 Nancy is such a whumpeable character, maybe because shes so broken inside already 💕 she's just a scared wet cat who needs to be wrapped up in a warm blanket.

A few headcanons for youuuu 💕💕

Robin's parents will be out of town for a few months (they're visiting family far away), so she has the house all to herself, and since the Wheelers are gone and Nancy has nowhere to go, that's where they take her.

Steve and Robin spend a long time looking for the Wheelers. They make a hundred phone calls a day but they keep hitting dead ends. The Wheelers left Hawkins shortly after Nancy was "confirmed" dead, and Mike quickly lost contact with his friends. Finding them has become impossibly difficult, and Steve and Robin worry that they'll never get to tell them Nancy is alive. Nancy misses them like crazy.

The party gets involved super quickly - Lucas, Dustin and Will, as well as the two new kids, Max and El. The boys all cry when they see Nancy, and to Nancy it feels like having siblings again, three new little brothers to try to fill in the space left by Mike and Holly. Max and El just want to help - they're excited to finally meet Nancy Wheeler, Mike's famous sister - he never shut up about her. He always talked about how smart and brave she was and how nothing has been the same since she died. Nancy was a bit surprised to know Mike said that about her, and it only makes her cry. She misses her brother so much.

Max in particular spends a lot of time with Nancy. She helps take care of her when Steve and Robin can't.

Will makes a lot of drawings for Nancy, and she keeps them all by her bedside. She particularly loves the one portraying her family - Mom, Mike, Holly, yes, even her dad.

Nancy experiences a lot of ugly withdrawal symptoms after having been on drugs so heavily for so long. Lots of vomiting and headaches.

Hopper gets involved in her case. She tells him everything, and he begins his investigation. He visits every now and then - it's in his nature. Up until two years ago, he was a father without daughter, and Nancy is a daughter without parents and a sister without siblings. It's only natural when El shows up at Robin's house to spend more and more time with Nancy, happy to have an older sister figure, even if she takes care of Nancy more than Nancy takes care of her. And it's only natural for Hopper to visit a few times a week to ask how she's doing and make sure all her needs are met.

Joyce is overjoyed to hear she's alive, and soon joins Steve and Robin in their search for the Wheeler's new number. She brings food whenever she can and instantly takes on a motherly role in Nancy's life. She agrees that it's best for Nancy to stay at Robin's for the time being, since Joyce and Jonathan spend a great deal of time at work and she'd be all alone for most of the time, but she plans on taking her to live with them when Richard and Melissa Buckley come back.

Jonathan awkwardly tries to help as well - he's often busy with work, but he stops by whenever possible to see if she needs anything. Nancy appreciates that.

Nancy hates appearing weak, but she's set off by the smallest thing - the party's boys hi-fiving each other reminds her of the way soldiers raised their hands to hit her. Steve's loud laughter reminds her of the way the general used to laugh when she cried. Out of the house, she's terrified of needles and hates getting blood tests or vaccines, and going to the dentist is paralyzing - the clattering of the instruments on the metal tray, the shapes of them so similar to the ones they used to rip her nails out, the horrible feeling of foreign objects in her mouth... she has two reactions to these things: she either freezes or she breaks. Freezing includes being almost completely non-verbal, trembling slightly but obeying every order. Breaking includes a lot of crying and panicking.

Her sleep schedule is all messed up - sometimes she can't sleep for more than three hours. Sometimes she blacks out for 18 hours straight. She can never seem to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, and she often suffers from nightmares.

She likes cuddling with either Steve or Robin, or even better, both of them. Sandwiched between the two of them, she almost feels like a little kid sleeping between her parents.

Robin really really really didn't like bathing Nancy, or helping her dress up. It feels like she's taking advantage of her. She feels the same when she shares a bed with her. Steve is the one to largely take care of Nancy when it comes to those things. They're still dating, technically, though at this point Nancy can't say she feels love for him. She clings to him because he's familiar, and he loves her, and he makes her feel safe. She appreciates him and cares deeply about him, but if she's honest with herself... she can't love him. She can't bring herself to say that to Steve, of course - after everything he's done for her, she just... tries so hard to convince herself she loves him in the way she's supposed to.

She actually quite enjoys Robin's company, and in part, she'd prefer it if it was her doing all of this for her. Robin can't bring herself to refuse when Nancy asks. They've slept together many times, Nancy cuddled into her chest. It makes Robin's heart ache, but she pushes those feelings down - creep, she thinks to herself. Freak. Pervert. Last thing Nancy needed was a person she trusted secretly lusting after her like a... like the dyke she was.

Nancy realizes she's not having a nice dream at the end of her first day after being rescued. She's drinking a cup of tea with Robin, talking about mindless things - Robin just wanted to make her feel comfortable and she supposed keeping it simple would be best, so she tells her about band and the time she passed out during a school play audition from the nerves. And Nancy looks down at her cup, feels its heat in her hands and the sweet taste in her mouth, and the soft texture of Robin's clean clothes on her skin. She hears the crickets outside, the creaking of the wooden floorboards when Robin paces, and it dawns to her that she is free. She suddenly breaks into tears, and Robin freaks out - calls Steve - and they both try her best to comfort her. Nancy hugs herself - she wants her mother and brother and little sister, it breaks her heart to know they left, that they thought her dead. But somehow, in Robin and Steve's arms, she feels warm. Safe, for the first time in years.

[mebiselfandi]

i hope this is not gonna annoy you but i was reading your rant about your writing and i was like😔 because goddd i adore them so much the way you write them characters, dialogues or try to explain how they feel in such situations always make me😞 even when you write smut bc dang do you know how much i reread strawberries and cream (it should be illegal) it just the way you always portray them so beautifully it's crazy (like how did u make c*m eating so sweet i cried and horny everytime i remembered that) also i sent this ask bc i just remember your newest neymessi fic and I'm devastated thinking at the possibility of you deleting that work bc goddd i remember the first time i read it i was crying so hard literally need to weep the tears out so i can read the next paragraph and then after I'm done i was pacinf around my room thinking about the next chapter bc u tagged it as it will be sweeter and how i was just so excited to read that bc if i have to live with the possibility of them just ending like that and not talk it out and have a heavy makeout session after just throw me to the ponds full off crocodiles in florida it would hurts less, you make me so attached to these characters that the possibility of neymar hurting bc leo leaving him after the heart wrenching love confession makes me☹️☹️☹️

i hope you'll find your joy and to not feel pressured to writing again because you have such a talent and i will always be happy to read every works you put, finally just wanted to say so glad to have such a talented writer in this fandom🫶🏼

Hi nonnie👋💕

When I got your ask I was like hm what’s this? Only to be hit straight in the feels with a truckload of bricks. ‘Annoy’ me you say. Something like this could never annoy me. This was legit me reading your ask holding back tears:

Tbh I was in a massive writing slump since like end of April. Idk what happened. I got a lil sad, then sick, then even more sad, then my birthday came up, then I got burnt out, next thing I knew it was June and my writing skills just switched off. Nothing all of May(except that one fic I barely remember writing while sick and fueled purely by spite). So when I wrote the last Neymessi fic, I was like not doing great at all. But idk I felt like I had to write something and the idea had been swimming in my head. But writing too sad fics when you’re already sad just = feeling shit about your work. Plus I felt so bad about writing, I thought it would be my last fic ever.

But I mean now I’m no longer feeling weird about writing and I can see the fic from an objective pov. I made a ton of typos and used the same words like twice in one sentence and just cringe phrasings. I could’ve done it better. However, I managed to write 4000 words when I thought I couldn’t. So I won’t delete it cause I can be at least proud of that fact. Also I’m not a quitter, if I delete the fic, the knowledge will haunt me forever. But I will be writing the second chap and I have ideas.

Now I feel kinda bad about it cause I know I said chap 2 will be sweeter buuuut I think it might still be sad. But only because I wanna write a 3rd chapter which will be sweeter. However keyword is sweeter…not sweet. Uh it’ll be a bittersweet ending cause either way Leo’s still leaving but I could never bring my heart to be entirely miserable like that. So don’t worry, it’ll end wellness 😌 but chap 2 is mostly just gonna be Leo’s pov and thoughts then chap 3 will be them finally talking after we hear what Leo’s thinking.

Also…about strawberries and cream though I logged into my ao3 for the first time a couple weeks yesterday and I was so shocked? Last I checked it was at 400 now it’s almost doubled😭😭 I’m so shook. But I’m glad you liked strawberries and cream. It’s one of my fave fics I wrote too.

You’re so sweet anon🥹🥹 like not to be like annoying about comments or wtv. But it always helps to know there is someone who likes your story and you aren’t just writing to the air. And to know I made you react so strongly to it is insane to me. But seriously, thank you so much for this, I’m legit gonna think of this message whenever I feel like I can’t write🫶

[elflutter]

hiiii just wanted to say that your fics are so well-written and so descriptive and I like them so much they are some of the best I've read in a while they're SO good also I want to inject that hayden fic into my bloodstream

also also as a plus-size girlie it brings me so much joy to read about a chubby character's body being loved and cherished so dearly so thank you for that as well :) ok that's all thank you have a good day :)

oh my goodness anon thank you so much 😭🥹💖 i've been thinking about this message all morning - your kind words really mean so much!!

i hadn't written fic in YEARS, so hearing that they're some of the best you've read recently is seriously so kind and encouraging, thank you so much 😭

omg im so glad you liked the hayden fic!! hayden is SO dreamy 😵‍💫✨ i can't believe how few works there are for him on ao3 honestly!

and as a mid-size girlie i am so so so happy to provide 🥹 writing those fics was soo healing for me because, unlike my lovely reader oc, i definitely deal with body dysmorphia and i so rarely see bodies like mine romanticized!! or even really portrayed in fiction, especially superhero media even though we deserve it i fucking love plus size women 🥺💕

i'm considering writing a bit more in that universe because i'm honestly obsessed with how soft logan is to her and i kinda wanna write their happily ever after 😩💖

thank you sm again kind anon, i will definitely carry your words with me and look back on this ask when i need encouragement 🥺😭🩷

[rollercoasterwords]

I learnt about the existence of this fic a while back but I didn't knew if I was going to be able to handle the parts on that house and his parents and surprisingly I was able to keep together? But Regulus? Everytime they're relationship broke a bit more my heart break to you portrait the relationship very well wich only means it make very sad. But it was so good

And I'm enjoying this fic so much I love the way you Sirius's thought process around his queerness, how it was all there but he just ignore it till Remus kisses him and then he just goes around it without being able to name it, bc of how he was raise and is painfully to read but necessary in a way

I have been enjoying this lasts chapters where Sirius is kind of letting himself feel and trying to understand why he feels they he is feeling and now he is very confuse about the whole Chris thing , but he is getting there

I'm so excited for the summer chapters! I'm excited to see how he is going start feeling comfortable with his queerness and now he is going to be able to thing about how lovely his Moony is without any restrictions.

Thank u so much for this fic :)

ahhh thank u for taking the time to write such a long message haha!! i’m so happy to hear that ur enjoying the fic, it’s been a real labor of love so it means a lot to hear that other people are loving it too 💕 i know u aren’t actually asking any questions in this but i’m probably gonna write a long response anyway just bc i love to talk abt this stuff haha

exploring sirius’s home life + relationship with regulus was one of the main reasons i wanted to write this fic and it definitely felt like a balancing act between wanting to portray an extremely horrible and abusive situation but also not wanting to get gratuitously graphic. sometimes i’m still not sure i got it entirely right, but that’s just the nature of writing i guess!

and omg yes regulus and sirius!! definitely one of my favorite things to write, i wasn’t really anticipating how much i’d have to be trying to get into regulus’s head to write their relationship when i started but now i’ve spent so much time thinking about what he would have been thinking/feeling throughout the years that he almost feels like the second main character to me (even though he doesn’t show up too much in the actual story)

the internalized homophobia was another aspect of sirirus’s character that made him so compelling to me and another thing i was really excited to try and write; it definitely hit close to home because i grew up in a conservative religious environment and really wasn’t able to fully come to terms with my own sexuality until after i got to college. i think it can be understandably difficult to really empathize for marauders fans who have had the good fortune to grow up in more open and accepting environments, and especially from remus’s perspective it sometimes comes off as sirius being selfish and cruel. while i do think he was being selfish during 6th year, i don’t think it was in the way many people seemed to interpret, so i really wanted to try and show how being raised in a homophobic environment, especially one as violent and abusive as sirius’s, creates these very deep-rooted mental walls that can take a really long time to break through. it doesn’t erase the hurt he caused remus, but it helps show that the situation wasn’t necessarily so black and white, especially because remus was simultaneously hiding and holding back a lot of things.

and yes, now we’re finally getting some semblance of self-acceptance with summer coming up :) i’m doing my best to keep it realistic with the tension between his internalized prejudices and his realization that being queer isn’t necessarily the broken thing he thought it was; hopefully it works! i’m so excited to share w u all, i know the summer ‘77 chapters are a lot of people’s favorites 💕

[hypmicdaydreams]

Hi congrats on 100 followers. I'm glad I found your blog!

Anyway, may I request something fluff from kiss prompt about Samatoki x gf "in bedroom" and the reason is "love". Thankyou! ♡

I have no idea what this is lol. You know that feeling when you're laying in your bed and the night is so quiet and still, and you're just aware of the tiniest things, such as your heartbeat or your breathing, and you're contemplating life? Yeah, I tried to go for that lol. Hopefully I was able to portray it pretty well? Anyway, thank you for your kind words and request, and I hope you enjoy 💕

"𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲" with samatoki

-pairing: samatoki aohitsugi x f!reader

-genre: fluff

-summary: nighttime always made you contemplate about pretty much everything, and this time, you can’t help but think of samatoki and how in love with him you were

-word count: 1.2k

it was often during the night that you found yourself deep in thought about, well, pretty much everything. there was something ambient about the night, something that caused you to reflect on your current life and everything up to this point that led to it. some days it’s rather depressing, mentally beating yourself up over some of the stupid decisions you have made or how regretful you felt about certain events, and other times its quite pleasant. above all, however, it was always emotional. 

and tonight was another one of those nights, the ones where you often lay in your bed and mindlessly stared up at the ceiling, unable to go to sleep anytime soon. this time, you couldn’t help but think about samatoki, the man currently holding you in his arms as the two of you lay in bed and the one to whom your heart belonged. the more you thought about it, the more you found your love for samatoki to be so strange. i mean, you were cuddling someone who was a complete stranger to you a few years back, someone you wouldn’t have ever dreamt of dating. 

samatoki himself was a strange figure the more you thought about it; you couldn’t help but think that, especially now as the two of you snuggled against one another in bed. he was a yakuza member, but he was also quite the family man. he had a temper, sure, but he was also pretty chill most of the time. and the way he had an arm loosely wrapped around your waist was a bit too intimate. no one would think of such a tough yakuza guy to be so soft and gentle or to even have a girlfriend in the first place. no one would’ve expected the rash and aggressive samatoki to fall in love or to even be such a good boyfriend in the first place. 

then your mind transitioned to the way he was holding you, which only made you much more aware of the tiniest details. what was even more odd was how his touch made you feel. his arms rested just beneath your top, his hands on top of your stomach, and such direct contact only made you flustered as your attention shifted to that particular feeling. the area around your stomach started to heat up, and you began to feel the butterflies, or perhaps that was only your heart. you could certainly begin to hear the way your heartbeat resounded in your ears and how strange it was beating. this definitely didn’t sound like a normal heartbeat. but oddly enough, you liked this feeling. you loved how gentle samatoki’s touch felt against your skin, even if it was enough to drive a chill up your spine or give you goosebumps. 

love was such an odd feeling, and the way your body reacted was even bizarre. i mean, it certainly was weird how your heart couldn’t help but skip a beat each time he did something, even if it was as small and strange as him concentrating; and it was weird how you always got so happy each time you saw him. man, just thinking of the fact that you were his girlfriend made you feel all sorts of things. how did you even fall in love in the first place? was it a conscious act? you didn’t think so, but how’d your mind even know who to fall in love with? you couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment that you had fell for samatoki. sure you did find him to be quite handsome when you guys first exchanged glances, but it wasn’t like you were exactly in love with him from the getgo. falling and being in love was strange, but it was also nice. you wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

and all of a sudden, you started to feel an influx of all sorts of emotions the more you considered it. all your thoughts were disorganized, your mind kept going back to his touch, and you felt yourself getting overwhelmed. you felt grateful to have someone like samatoki, felt happy to have someone that could cause you to act up in this way. you were in love. 

“hey samatoki,” you mumbled, sitting up from your place in bed and letting go of his embrace. you were pretty much overwhelmed with your love for your boyfriend right now, and thanks to the night, you had an urge to express it.

“huh? what’s wrong?” with the way he shuffled and how deep and hoarse his voice sounded, you assumed that samatoki was on the verge of falling asleep before you called out to him. but the sleepy look on his face and the way his hair was already starting to mess up made for a rather cute scene. you couldn’t help but giggle a bit, an action that only confused your boyfriend, which was prominent by the way he raised his brows. to anyone else, he might’ve seemed angry, but you knew him better than that. 

seeing him in front of you, quite sleepy and confused as to what had happened, those feelings of love flared up again. and so, you closed the gap between you two, which wasn’t that big to begin with, and softly kissed him on the lips.

well, that certainly woke him up.  

perhaps your skin still felt much too sensitive from his embrace, but you couldn’t help but feel goosebumps yet again when you felt his lips against yours. there was an almost electrical-like sensation that you felt up your spine, but you liked it. 

“i love you,” you muttered once the two of you separated, giving him a small smile. 

“you damn near scared me,” he scolded, laying back in bed. “thought somethin’ happened for a second.” samatoki patted the empty space next to him, signaling for you to lay down as he once again wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in closer. it was a bit cute how he loved to hold you as he slept, you thought, but you were also the same way in a sense. before he drifted back off to sleep, however, he grumbled something quite low, but you still heard it nonetheless. 

“i love you too.”

hearing those very words mixed with the stillness of the night and the comfy atmosphere of the bedroom made you feel like you were falling in love with samatoki all over again. you felt the same way as when samatoki asked you to be his girlfriend, that heartfluttering feeling resonating within your chest again. it was a good thing you were faced away from samatoki so he couldn’t see just how flustered his four small words made you. but gosh, they still felt so nice. even if samatoki said those words over and over again, you’d still feel that same heart throbbing sensation. those words never grew old. 

the night with its silence and soft ambience always had you contemplating the smallest things, precedented or not, but it wasn’t always so bad. sometimes, you had to be reminded of the simplest things in life, such as your love for one another. sometimes, it felt like samatoki was all you needed.

[acacia-may]

Aww! Thank you so much, Erika! 💙 I'm so happy you liked my headcanons! I spent a lot of time thinking about them because I realised I actually didn't have too many headcanons for Gauche (or at least too many headcanons that would fit in these specific categories😅).

I love this idea of yours of Gauche's mother doting on him which inspired him to then dote on Marie. There's something really sweet in that! I can imagine that a younger Gauche felt bad that Marie wouldn't really remember their parents or how much they loved her so I can see him trying to shower her with love in the best way he knew how (specifically the way his parents had shown him love). If the Lord and Lady Adlai were very affectionate and doting parents, it would really explain why Gauche is that way himself. I like this a lot! Thanks for sharing, Erika! 💙

Yes, the second one is a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. The category did say "unrealistic" so I figured a little bit of leeway was warranted here, but I completely agree with you about the criminal record being an issue for most people. It would be for me anyway, but like you mentioned people in the Clover Kingdom don't seem too concerned about all of that... (It's funny you mention Patry (as Licht) specifically because I was thinking of him too when writing this! 😁 Maybe they just can't resist bad boys and that sense of danger and mystery adds to the appeal? Could be an plausible explanation). I'm glad you liked the bit about Gordon though. I like to imagine that Gordon was put in charge of the Black Bulls mail ages ago (when he was one of the only people on the squad) and just quietly keeps up with it to this day. He'd definitely have nothing but nice things to say about all of his friends so I imagine he'd be great PR for all of them, especially if they can be a bit brash and off-putting at times like Gauche. (We know he's a good guy at heart, but he doesn't do himself any favours at times so he's lucky to have Gordon pointing out his good qualities to the public!)

I'm sorry for hurting you with that angst headcanon. I don't usually foray into the angst genre for this reason. (I'd much rather make people feel happy with what I write rather than sad 😔). That said, it really means a lot to hear that you thought it made sense and helped explain a lot of his behaviour. I like to think that Gauche has a lot more to him than what we see on the surface, and I really believe a lot of his more off-putting traits are a result of his grief and trauma. In a lot of ways, he's very much the textbook example of pushing people away out of fear of losing them while also, on the flip side, clinging on to some people (read: Marie) too tightly for the same reason. It's interesting that both traits can exist concurrently in him. I hope with some time and healing, he'll learn to open himself up to others again. It's nice to see him building such good friendships with Grey and Gordon in the canon--gives me hope that one day he'll be able to love without fear. 💕

I couldn't agree with you more that the explanation given for Gauche's nosebleeds in the canon is lacking. As someone who has frequent nosebleeds due to a genetic bleeding disorder, I've always seen it as very much a medical issue and seeing it portrayed as something else has always been a little weird to me in general but especially in this context. It makes a lot more sense to me to think that Gauche has a bleeding disorder himself--especially being part of the nobility class, if historical norms regarding consanguinity in arranged marriages among historical elites were also part of the BC world (a lot of the most common/well-known bleeding disorders like hemophilia and VWD are hereditary). I realise that an explanation was given that it's an emotional thing for him, but to that I say, bleeding like that is not normal for an otherwise healthy person such as Gauche so he could probably benefit from a knowledgeable hematologist. (I doubt he'd get the care he needs in a medieval society like the Clover Kingdom though, so he's pretty lucky Grey is around to seal his wounds). I usually try to cling pretty close to canon, but in this case, I'm going to have to go my own way. Anything to help paint Gauche in a better, less uncomfortable light (especially since I really don't think those nosebleeds are his fault). Glad to hear I'm not the only one! 😅

Thank you so much again for the ask, Erika, and for sharing your thoughts! You always have such great insights! Thanks for the great discussion! 💙

For the four headcanons game, what sort of ideas do you have about Gauche?

Hi Erika! 💙 Thank you so much for the ask and for playing the headcanon game! I had to give these a little bit of thought, but I hope you will like them. 😊 Headcanons are below the cut because it's a little bit wordy.

(Warnings: death and blood are both mentioned).

Questions from this Headcanon Ask Game

Headcanon A:  realistic

Gauche was close to both of his parents, especially his mother. They often praised him for being a good older brother and asked him to always look out for and protect his younger sister, Marie. This was one of the last things they asked him to do (shortly before their untimely death) which is one of the reasons why Gauche is such a protective sibling and why he feels so responsible for taking care of Marie.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Despite being a member of what is widely considered in the Clover Kingdom to be the worst Magic Knight Squad, Gauche had a small fan club that no one knows about except Gordon (because he is in charge of the squad's mail and answers their letters). His fans gush over the fact that he's "brooding" and "mysterious" and/or think he's very handsome. He has been growing more popular due to Gordon's responses to fan letters that paint Gauche in a very favorable light. [Unsurprisingly enough, no one from Nean is part of the fan club].

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Gauche has learned how to function on a very small amount of sleep because he has recurring, extremely realistic nightmares about losing his parents and Marie and being absolutely powerless to do anything to stop it. He never tells anyone about these nightmares, but one of the main reasons he tries to be in constant contact with his sister is because it helps him cope with the nightmares and remind himself that they are just dreams and Marie is safe.

Eventually, these nightmares extend to losing some of his friends (i.e. Grey and Gordon) as well. He doesn't admit this to them, but some of his squad mates are surprised when Gauche suddenly starts wanting to spend a lot of time with them.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Gauche has a bleeding disorder which causes his frequent nosebleeds. It also causes him to bruise easily and bleed excessively when cut or injured (due to lack of functional clotting factor), and this contributed to him ultimately losing his left eye.

[arknights-imagines]

Hi i just wanted to say that!! I absolutely love your writing, especially the Executor pieces (probably my Exe bias talking hehe)!! You portray him so well!! Thank you for your hard work, and i hope you have a great day! <3

Aaaa anon!! 😭 Tysm shsjsbs you're too sweet 🥺 I'm so happy you enjoy my writing, ty!! 💞

It makes me really happy to hear that you think I portray Executor well!! 😭🙏 Writing for him was really hard for me at first so I'm so glad you feel that I do him justice 🥺

And you're also an Executor fan like myself lolol!! 💕 I'm glad other people who read my pieces like him too 🥳 Mr. Angel with a Shotgun deserves more love sbsjbsjs 🥺

I'll keep working hard for all of you 💞 Anon, I hope you'll stick around 🙏 Tysm again for your kind words and please have a great day as well!! 🌸

[starlight-phantom]

OK so last night I binge read your Takuto is Ren's dad au and can I just say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!!!!!!! Like ok when I first saw Maruki I was like huh he does remind of Ren so the concept of the au is galaxy brained. And like the way you write Maruki is perfect! I like his soft fatherly side and he's so sweet when he's doting on little Ren. I loved how you portrayed the conflict in him as well as his messiah complex. And RUMI I LOVE HER! She's so sweet and you've made me fall in love with her and Shibusawa (who I also adored he's so funny, him accidentally teaching Ren dick was just brilliant I laughed so hard). And then BURIED MEMORIES JUST SHOT ME IN THE CHEST AND LEFT ME FOR DEAD LIKE OUCH!!!! It murdered me in the best possible way. I cried about 6 times last night reading it (I am personally beating you with a stick in the most caring way possible for including Kimi no Kikou that ripped my heart in two). I adore the way you write baby Ren to he's such a little gentleman 🥺. Anyway I just had to come into your inbox and yell about how much I love the au so yeah. Thank you for writing it I adored every word of it.

SSDRIFJSFKFKSFKDDGKDFKFDKFDKFJD Thank you so much for saying that, I'm really glad to hear that you enjoyed it!

Yeah, it's funny 'cause I first got the idea when Takuto was first revealed and I thought "wow, his hair, glasses and body language look really similar to Ren, I think I make an au outta this" and then the game came out and I saw all the interactions between the two and realised "Ohhhhh, this AU has a lot of potential"

And you have no idea how happy that makes me to hear that! I've basically made it my mission to try and persuade people to give Rumi and Shibusawa the attention they deserve, after all if Atlus won't, we'll just have to.

DDHRJRJDFJDGK See the thing is, Lost Everything was originally just gonna be a one shot... And then I got ideas. Or more accurately, I was minding my damn business when my brain just suddenly went "HAVE SOME ANGST" so then I ended up writing For The Best which, fun fact, was the first fic I cried while writing it... So, yeah, that was fun.

Hey, the Kimi No Kioku thing was not my idea, that was my friend who told me that he imagined it as a lullaby in the persona series... But, it was my idea to make the person singing die after the line "I will never leave you" so yeah, I kinda deserve the stick beating.

But, seriously, thank you so much for reading them, I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed them! 💕💗💖