#so i’m still considering myself aroace for the meantime 🎉🎉
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god sometimes i rememebr i had this weird crush on my friend and k could not act normally next to her for a good month because i was having lovely internal monologues
#i was such a mess it wasn’t even funny#because i was so conflicted#every two seconds id start panicking when i was next to her like#OH FUCK does she hate me?? am i gay? ahhhhh fuck fuck fuck#the amount of times i questioned whether or not i was a lesbian during that time was insane#to this day im still conflicted over whether or not i really wanted to be closer to her or i am in fact a lesbian#i mean i haven’t had a real crush since then and that was my first real crush#aaand that was about 2 years ago?#so i’m still considering myself aroace for the meantime 🎉🎉#i also had insane internalized homophobia about then sooooooo#real fun period of tome#sodaramblestoomuch#oh extra info#i followed her into 2 hyper fixations
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