#so i would just walk around this huge supermarket that we didnt have in our small hometown

[carouseldreamdiary]

09.08.23

i was in the streets of cornwall i think and i saw kim trying to get into this door of his house sneakily so i went up to him and was like kim kim kim heyyyy what u doing and he was like im busy and was kinda serious so i was like let me help whats going on so he let me come inside with him and immediately was like shut the door quickly lock it so i did. i asked him why and he explained like the police are coming to get him because he has his cats in the house so we have to hide him and he asked me to give him a leg up so he could climb on top of the closet and hide up there and i was like ok but i think the better idea would be to hide your cats and as i said that i heard banging and yelling at the door from the police telling him to open up so i quickly put the cats up on top of the closet with him (stupidly) and opened the door and they came in so fast they knocked me down. then once they came inside the cats immediately jumped back down but they ignored the cats and instead arrested me for the disappearence of kims mum

i dont remember being in jail but i remember arguing in court with them and being like WHY would i fuckin steal his cats i care about him so much we talk abt his cats all the time. and i think i got out on bail or smthing but when i got out i was walking around and i noticed i was next to kims same house again and it was all crime scened up and closed.

then i think i encountered kim again and he was rly sad abt his mum so i was like hey lets go to spain and for some reason he agreed to come with me so i got us this hotel and we were on the 6th floor and the room was so crazy huge it didnt really have any walls but it had all these sections for like the bedroom, the lounge, the balcony. it was really nice and he started to cheer up a bit more when we were there. i think i was sitting doing something close to him like reading and he suddenly leant his chin on my shoulder and i wanted to cry from happiness, so i think i reached out and took his hand and he held hands with me and it felt so innocent and pure. i felt like a child again. i think i was scared to kiss him so i just brushed my lips against his hand but then we did kiss and i was laughing and so was he and it was just like , not laughing at eachother but from happiness idk it was rly cliche but so nice.

and i think what was so nice about it was ok ive been battling a lot with how like messed up my sex drive is from abuse and how like i jump to sex so fast with people and try to use it to exchange for love and care, its something ive been working on and like i remember even in the dream thinking about that and thinking i dont want to do this yet because it may weird him out. and idk that made me feel happy inside too. to grow like that even if it was a dream cuz it felt incredibly real.

i think i asked if he was hungry and if he wanted to explore the rest of the hotel and he said yes so we wandered downstairs to this like big wide open dining room that had a terrace smoking area and we sat outside on it , it was so high up above the clouds and he linked arms with me which is something i love to do with people it feels so cute and like for him to do it to me felt really cute too IDK im smiling thinking about it now. it was cute it felt like he wasnt ashamed to be seen with me , he was happy and that made me so happy. i think we sat down on a table next to some other people and kim did something to offend them i cant remember what so i explained the situation and they were very kind and understanding and i talked with them a bit about the city and stuff and translated for kim and he was like not very shy i always thought he was quite shy and tbh i am shy too i would never talk to someone like that in real life but we both did and it was nice. then i think we wandered back up to our room again and i was pointing out to him like all the weird shops this hotel had inside it somehow like a bowling alley and a supermarket and a tailors . it kinda looked like asturias alisios centre the bit near carrefour lol.

anyway once we got back to our room i think i offered kim some mushrooms and he was like ok, i was kind of high in the dream already i think so i was struggling to think of a correct doseage for him so i told him eat half this mushroom and it was a pretty small one. i think he was okay but the next thing i remember was being naked in bed with him, i dont think we were having sex but i remember thinking oh hes probably never touched breasts before and then i woke up

[sally-annesstories]

Day 113 - Medellin, Colombia

Let's learn about Medellin!

1. My sleep was a bit disturbed last night with people who got kicked out of the bar relocating to outside my room but nan it's nice getting a room to yourself! Such a conveniance in waking up and turning the lights on when I want and making the noise levels I want. I had a wee sleep in them and then had a quick breakfast of toast before heading out the door. I've finally figured out how to use maps.me and I can't beleive I've gone so long without it. Offline google naps is ok but this is so much better. The streets of Pablado were pretty quiet but on my walk I found the nearest supermarket and a few places to eat that could be nice. Then I made it to the metro and found my man in a red top and hat as promised for the start of the tour. Purchasing a metro ticket I joined the group.

2. The tour started at the metro to get us a few blocks away. This was a great way too quickly see how good the metro system here is! The free walking tour is really renowned and covers the inner city of Medellin. Areas we went through included;

- square of lights

- palacio naional

- Veracruz church

- Boterro square

- Berrio park

- San Antonio park

I learn so much over the 3.5 hours and it's one of the two walking tours I've ever done (up there with Berlin and Edinburgh!). Some things that I've kept with me now from the tour;

- Pablo Escobar was pretty horrific in terms of actions and while Hollywood has depicted this they sometimes have put him in q.more glamorous light. E.g. on Narcos it shows he built hospitals. In reality he built circa 200 houses and one football field. Yes these were given to the poor but he also killed and really how many lives is one house worth. The things he did that were good were all for the wrong reasons.

- in the early 80s a reporter crossed Pablo so the reporter was killed (shot 15 times). The entire family had to flee the country to avoid being killed too

- it is also said Pablo was a pedofile. And per the tour guide everyone knew, but it was never tried. There were 40 or 50 girls killed because of this.

- Outside Veracruz church there were many prostitutes. It is informally known as loving providers church and hotels across the road charge by the hour. Afterwards people repent their sins by going to church.

- the tour guide also provided us with insight into his own life to help us understand him. He said he was from the upper class of Colombia. Originally he grew up in the Pablado neighborhood (where I'm staying) which is relatively fancy. He is from a family of doctors and engineers hence the historic wealth. Because of this in 1990 two of his uncles were kidnapped and held for a ransom of $400k USD which the family paid. After this they lost a lot of money and moved to a middle class neighborhood. He obviously still grew up with all the knowledge around him but their means changed at this time. While middle class neighborhoods were typically free from violence, as the gangs fought for territories they entered these too. In 1999 he was outside playing football with his friends when there was a random shooting by the gangs. He was shot twice in the leg. Two of his best mates killed. Up until this (and because he was too young to be aware of his uncles kidnapping at the time) he said he had been sheltered from the danger due to his families financial circumstances and locality. After this event he had depression for a couple of years (he was an early teen at the time of the shooting). His family sent him to the USA for 6 months. He didnt want to come back. He then stayed there as an illegal immigrant. Also prior to his uncles being kidnapped, his brother had been shot in 1989 so had also eventually gone to the USA. They had both applied for political assylum. His brothers mother had been deported in 1995 and his brother was declined asylum as well. Eventually they were both found and arrested but opted for voluntary deportation. He has been back in Colombia for many years now and is happy there. Wouldn't want to live in USA again. Now runs these tours and is working on opening a language school with his brother (he is both a trained teach plus in media previously working in this).

- the final stop on the tour was SAN Antonio park. We were told not was very dangerous in this is area and to hold our stuff tight. The square used to be busier and home to concerts however sadly in xxxx there was a concert and someone put a bomb in the xxxx bird statue. It killed 7 people including a young child. Noone knows who put the bomb there truly because everyone claimed they did it. These days the damaged bird statue sits there as does a new one side by side. After it happened the mayor at the time wanted to remove the damaged bird. However xxxx himself called and said to keep the original there and he would donate a new one as well. He said it was important to not forget the past. The names of the people who lost their lives that day are also engraved in a plaque. The tour guide commended this as he said Colombians can have short memories for the past as there were many places we walked through on the tour where some horrendous things happened but you wouldn't know now because there is nothing in greivance.

Overall it was a super interesting tour with even more takeaways than I've copied down here.

3. After the tour I caught the metro back to the hostel to figure my plan for the afternoon. After walking so much though it was nice to sit and chill and just be for a moment. It was cool catching the metro on my own as it makes you so independant. The metro is actually something Medellin saw as a huge positive change as it meant the comunas are connected whereby back in Pablo's day they weren't.

4. After my chill time I was back on the metro where I'd come from to go to the botanic gardens. It is book week or month in Colombia and the gardens were overrun with bookstalls everywhere and locals. Plus lots of school age students clearly on excusions. Always fun to see day to day life. After my wander I hopped back on the metro to the Ponsonby Central of Medellin, Mercado del Rio. Here I had Indian curry for dinner (Sarah's influence given she is in India). Then a casual 45 minute walk home to make plans for the night.

5. The Irish girls were also in Medellin although staying at a different hostel. I ended up meeting at their hostel for a few drinks before heading out for Medellin night life. At the hostel I met two English girls (Ruth and Harriet) who when they finish South America are travelling NZ (and have same flight to NZ as me, so random!). We ended up heading to the park area which is where a lot of the bars are. Given it was a Wednesday it was relatively quiet but 8 of us in tow was good. A highlight was a bar with a ball pit we could jump into (so fun, hopefully it was clean!)

[writingguide003-blog]

Would that all journeys were on foot: writers on the joy of walking

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/would-that-all-journeys-were-on-foot-writers-on-the-joy-of-walking/

Would that all journeys were on foot: writers on the joy of walking

Will Self on London, Fran Lebowitz on New York, Helen Garner on Melbourne and other writers love letters to urban pedestrianism

For Walking the City week exploring all aspects of urban walking, good and bad writers tell us where they walk and why.

Will Self watches the world go by at Charing Cross in London; Fran Lebowitz finds areas of midtown New York off-limits because Donald Trump lives there; Helen Garner says her quotidian route through her Melbourne suburb is not beautiful or meaningful to anyone but her.

These and other writers have shared their love letters to urban walking. And were eager to hear yours. You can send your routes, views and reflections to us using this form, or on social media with the hashtag #GuardianWalking.

My daily walk loops me back on my lifecycle

The Royal Vauxhall Tavern, one of Londons most celebrated LGBTQI pubs, is on Will Selfs walk from home, in Stockwell, to Soho Photograph: Rob Holley/PA

Will Self in London

In the early 1900s, 90% of journeys fewer than six miles were taken on foot. Would that they still were! Between being online and being on a bus or a train, we all too often lose our sense of properly being where we are: walking sets that right, as with each footstep we plant, were revivified by our perceptions of this genuinely firma terra.

I walk in London a great deal, and always have. In my teenage years and my 20s, I mainly walked because I was skint. But with age and some emolument has come walking for health; physical and more importantly mental. My favourite walk is a workaday one, from my home in Stockwell where I both live and work to Soho, in yet more central London, where I socialise and shop.

There are several possible routes: the grandstanding one takes me past the Vauxhall Tavern, south Londons most celebrated gay pub, and its near neighbour, the MI6 building; then along the Thames embankment, past the Houses of Parliament, and up Whitehall to Trafalgar Square, before I work my way through the backstreets around Leicester Square and enter Soho. But should I want to avoid busy streets, and the phalanxes of tourists battling it out against the three-card-monte scam merchants on Westminster Bridge, I can cross at Vauxhall instead, and make my way through the Arts and Crafts blocks of flats behind Tate Britain (built as social housing, but now luxury flats many of which are used as pied–terres by our lordly legislators), then along Marsham Street through the back of Parliament Square, along Horseguards, and via King Georges steps, up to Lower Regent Street and Piccadilly.

Listen, I know it seems an insult to detail all these storied landmarks as my mere way-stations en route to buy some stationery, or have a coffee with a friend. But in my defence despite the depredations of neoliberalism, and its sequel: the complete commoditisation of urban space it remains the case that London is a very big city indeed. If you know your way around it (or are prepared to get lost), you can always find a vista thats been overlooked, or an under-recognised corner of a familiar neighbourhood. Theres this and theres the delight of true flnerie: the ambulatory pursuit of chance encounters, overheard aperus, and those little unrepeatable vignettes that constitute the never-ending drama of urban life.

It was Dr Johnson who remarked that if you were to stand by the Charing Cross for long enough, youd see the entire world go by. My regular walk can take me past this spot which feels to me like some strange sort of still point, around which that processing world does indeed revolve. But then that could be because I was born in the old Charing Cross hospital, a few yards away which means that even my quotidian pedestrianism loops me back in to my own lifecycle.

Trumps even made walking worse

Fran Lebowitz once spotted Cary Grant on Madison Avenue in Manhattan. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Fran Lebowitz in New York

Ive never taken a walk just to walk. People who drive everywhere take a walk, but for me its a form of transportation. I like to walk because, first of all, youre in control. I could tell you exactly how long it will take you to get from one point in New York to another because Ive walked it a million times. This is not something you say of the subway. It could take you 10 minutes, or it could take you an hour, or you may never get there.

Walking used to be a kind of pleasure, but it is really an enormous effort to make your way around town on foot. The bicycles everywhere, the tourists everywhere, some tourists on bicycles the worst possible combination. I feel like Im in The Exorcist, my head twirling around to see what way theyre coming from. The cyclists are in general quite smug, with that expression on their face like I am saving the planet. I always think: No, I am. They didnt have to manufacture me in a factory. When I wear out, theyre not going to throw me away in a pile of metal and plastic.

The tourists obviously come from places where no one walks anywhere. They dont think of the sidewalk as a road for humans. Though they may annoy me all humans annoy me people who live and work here are always in a rush to get where theyre going, because they have to get to work to make enough money to be able to afford their apartment. They dont stand in the middle of the sidewalk on their phones.

I do not have a phone so when everyone started looking at their phones all the time, I could not believe that everyone was abdicating the observation of New York and giving the whole city to me. I am always saying to people: did you notice that building? And they say no, because no one looks up except me. To me, its like winning a lottery. They just handed me the city. Im the official noticer.

Of course Trump has made everything in the world worse, including being a pedestrian. Because he lives right on Fifth Avenue there is a big part of midtown you cant even go down anymore. Now its Trumps area. If he is there, or his wife is there, you cant walk on that block. Ive had numerous fights with cops about this. A cop once told me: You cannot walk on this block. I said: I am walking on this block. I almost got arrested, she was so angry at me.

Most of my memories of walking stand out for being unpleasant. But there was one day in the seventies, back when New York was mostly filled with New Yorkers. I was walking up Madison Avenue and I noticed that the people walking towards me were kind of stopped. It was just very odd. Of course Madison Avenue is very fancy, especially then I had never seen people behaving like this.

There, coming towards me, was Cary Grant, in a white linen suit, with his white linen hair. He was emanating white. There are a million celebrities in New York. One thing you must never do is look at them, especially not on Madison Avenue. I had never seen New Yorkers stop like that. As told to Elle Hunt

Putting litter in the bin makes a lucky day

Terrace houses in the suburb of Flemington, Melbourne. Photograph: Alamy

Helen Garner in Melbourne

I walk this exact route through my Melbourne suburb of Flemington every morning. Its not beautiful or meaningful to anyone but me.

I barge out my front gate, under plane trees in which magpies sometimes warble. I cross the railway bridge, turn east at the house with the huge fig tree, then north again, past the brick garage and its inexplicably prolific gardenia bush. Nothing much to report till I reach the witchs house with the iron lace veranda and the hedge of dark pink rose bushes that no ones pruned for years. Every day I think their disgraceful neglect of those roses entitles me to pinch some on my way back. But I know I wont because my walk is a circle and I wont pass them again till tomorrow.

I cut through the booze warehouse car park and dash across the big road to the Bikram yoga school, then dive into the street with the weird antique shop on the corner. Good houses in a row, big wide Californian bungalows. Here, where the street drops downhill to the hockey fields and the concreted creek bed, I once saw a fox go strolling home at dawn. Another day a horrible man cursed me out and kicked my dog in the ribs.

Where the shared pedestrian and cycle track runs alongside the freeway wall I turn south again and pick up speed. Riders heading for the city zoom up behind me with sharp little warning chimes, and gusts of air as they pass. Im breathing hard and feeling powerful. Here comes the old Chinese couple, the dead-faced woman and the husband with his desperate smile. A tradesman in hi-vis stands in the middle of the football oval, reaches for the sky and bows three times.

At the primary school I turn right and tackle the steepest hill. Halfway up, panting, nearly home, I cop the first lemony whiffs of my reward: pittosporum blossom. Its perfume floats between the houses from an invisible tree.

If I can scoop up that McDonalds rubbish from the playground gate and shove it into the bin without breaking stride, Ill have earned myself a lucky day. All this, with its seasonal variations, takes up 40 minutes of what remains of my life, in my undistinguished and beloved suburb.

Walking is transgressive in carmaggedon

People crossing the street in Santa Monica, LA Photograph: Anna Bryukhanova/Getty Images

Rory Carroll in Los Angeles

One of the great joys of my years in Los Angeles was being able to leave my car at home and walk to a cafe, a supermarket, the library, the beach. In the worlds car capital this could seem a transgressive act, putting one foot in front of the other. This, after all, is a sprawling metropolis where sidewalks often dont exist, where everyone obsesses about exit ramps and parking and where traffic jams get nicknamed carmageddon.

But in Santa Monica, a small city wedged between Malibu and Venice, walking was not only feasible, it was pleasurable and an efficient way to get around. My morning routine included wheeling my toddler from our home on Montana Avenue to her daycare at the YMCA on Sixth Street, a one mile, 15-minute stroll past low-rise homes, stores, offices and cafes.

Sunshine, wide pavements, pedestrian-friendly crossings it was bliss. We were on nodding terms with some joggers and dog-walkers, listened to birdsong, paused to collect pebbles, monitored Fourth of July bunting giving way to Halloween pumpkins, then Christmas trees. I learned the timing of the traffic lights on Wilshire Boulevard, a busy thoroughfare, with precision, knowing when to stroll, to trot, to gallop, my daughter strapped into her stroller shouting faster.

During the long, hot summers and autumns I had one grumble: palm trees. Great for postcards, useless for shade.

Theres zen-like triumph in battling the elements

Pedestrians shield themselves from the wind and rain with umbrellas as they cross a road during a storm in Wellington. Photograph: Phil Noble / Reuters

Ashleigh Young in Wellington

Visitors praise Wellington for its compactness. Its so compact! The word is said with a sort of chefs kiss.It is convenient to be able to walk everywhere, but thats also why, sometimes, I dont want to walk everywhere. Everyone else will also be walking everywhere. Wellington is a relatively young city but its history of unwanted social encounters is richly layered.

I was once walking on Wellingtons beautiful south coast, along a long footpath empty but for an old housemate of mine with whom Id badly fallen out years earlier. We walked towards each other on that path by the sea, as though in chilling slow motion and after approximately 100 years, we passed. It felt like an outtake of Blue Planet.

To succeed as a walker in Wellington, you must embrace the turbulence both social and, infamously, weather-related. When it rains, youll want to rip out the slippery cobblestones of death in the central city; on gale-force days, youll want to campaign to have the city rebuilt underground.

The biggest problem I have to contend with when walking is truly my own annoyance. A sudden hail-studded gale blowing open my jacket Im indignant. Slow walkers on a tiny footpath and theres nowhere to pass my spleens swelling. A 4WD mounting the pavement so that it can pass an oncoming car on a narrow road Im Larry David in Paris. Ive internalised the citys melodramatic tendencies.

But then youll be stumping along in a gale and suddenly the silvery harbour is winking through trees. Or a native wood pigeon is perched on a powerline, its chest puffed out like a doughnut. Even the overhead wires for trolley buses that used to crisscross the skyline lent the streets a punk beauty. Wellington is full of these postcard moments, and you see more of them when youre on foot.

Sometimes, if youve been here long enough, when you look into the contorted faces of other pedestrians as theyre lashed by rain, you can just about see a kind of zen-like triumph.

Well-behaved women do not walk at night

View of a bus shelter at night in New Delhi, India. Photograph: Pradeep Gaur/Mint/Getty Images

Priya Alika Elias in Delhi

In Delhi, the female pedestrian is a rare bird. For one thing, its too hot most of the year (Delhi summers are notorious for wilting the most hardened traveller). For another, there are too many men, jostling and crowding each other, busying themselves with Typical Male Activities. Once twilight falls, whos left on the streets but the male cigarette-vendor, the male chaiwalla? Men stake out their territory while women remain quietly at home, making dinner for their families.

And yet I enjoy walking in Delhi. I make it a point to buy my own groceries from the store near my home. I walk in Old Delhi for an hour and reward myself with kebabs that I have to eat standing up in a crowded restaurant. In Lodi Gardens, where it is cooler, I watch peacocks in silhouette against the tomb of Sikandar Lodi. There are clandestine lovers cuddling in the bushes, and I stifle a smile in India, lovers are always on a quest for privacy.

Most of all, I enjoy walking at night, down the zigzag lanes of Hauz Khas Village or Green Park. I walk in whatever I like, refusing to defer to the convention that women dress modestly. Yes, there are male eyes on me, staring at my crop top. Often men are astonished a

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[snsmissionaries]

2/26/19 -- Elder Braden Cowden, Argentina, Cordoba Mission

Elder Cowden - Week 37

“Cancel it.  We install things ourselves in this house.”

 So a quick summary of the week...

 Tuesday i got to talk to my family and it was amazing.

 Wednesday we had a Meeting with our entire Zone in Bell Ville so we rode the bus there early in the morning. but about 10 minutes away from Bell Ville, the bus filled with the smell of gas and broke down. so we then waited another hour until the new bus came. We then had a great reunion where three dogs followed us to the park and i named them Mosiah, Maria, y Benjamin jaja and they literally stayed with us the entire day it was cool. So also i got a huge bruise on my right knee and leg and its actually a pretty crazy story. So after the reunion some of the missionaries went to a Super here which is basically a supermarket to buy food to cook for the big lunch we were going to eat. So while they were checking out, i was just standing by the door holding it for people and saying hi, just trying to be nice. When all of a sudden i see the huge shelf right in front of me start to fall back. I then see out of the corner of my eye a man who had fell backwards onto the shelf, so they were both going down. I wasnt near the man to grab him, so i thought the next best thing was to Captain America catch this thing like in Civil war so it didnt fall backwards. Theres only two problems with this..... the shelf was very heavy.... and i dont have Captain America strength. jaja So it basically slipped out of my hands on impact and bangged my knee pretty bad. But that didnt knock this ol cowboy down!  Right when it hit the ground, every missionary rushed to the mans side to help him up. He was very stiff and in shock, but he was alright. We then picked up the shelf and placed all the food and stuff on it and then dissapeared into the city as if we were never there jaja So we had a good lunch and went back to Villa Maria where my companion was saying how we needed to go to the doctor instantly. I told him it was just a bruise and that ive had gotten hits before but he wouldnt listen. jaja so we went and i had to describe to the doctor in spanish what happened which i did pretty good at i think :) she then said that we needed to go to the hospital to get an x-ray to make sure its nothing more than a bruise...... Yeah look... Im a Cowden/Darrow..... We just rub some dirt on it and keep going because we do things ourselves in this family! So i told my companion that we would just go back to the pension and then leave to go to work! I am proud to say that after almost a week, im perfectly fine jaja except parts of my knee and leg are different colors jaja

 thursday was a normal day but i am so very grateful for members and how they act on the promptings of the spirit they feel

 friday i made banana pancakes and they were very delicious jaja

 Saturday we had some amazing lessons with some investigators and i was very touched by the spìrit. i will never forget those lessons as the spirit was so strong

 Sunday we had a baptism of a boy in our Ward and Elder De La Cruz and I had to plan everything out and get all the talks and clothes 20 minutes before the baptism service. There is a lesson here for everyone- BE PREPARED and PLAN! DONT procrastinate and always be willing to offer your services in times of need as well as in times of peace. We then were treated to a nice religious concert that Villa Maria held with great music and really great dancing based off of Carnival in Brazil! We saw it as we were walking in the streets and decided to watch some of it.

 Monday was one of those days that every missionary doesnt want but has them..... just walking around and trying to find people but nobody wanted to accept the Gospel of Jesus CHRIST. But thats okay, we all have our free agency. But that night we had an amazing noche de hogar, family home evening, with the La Familia Sanchez and it was so amazing. We ate empanadas and Just about everyone in the room cried as we talked about the Hand of the Lord in our lives and how we know if God truly exists and loves us. I truly testify that God is real and that He is our loving Father in Heaven. He cares about each one of us SO MUCH beyond comprehension and if we truly ask in faith and sincerely desire, the Lord will help us becuase He will never leave us. He is the only one who truly understands how it feels in our day to day events, happy and sad. So i invite all of you to find out for yourself and gain a testimony of the existence and role of our Heavenly Father and also study about the Atoning Sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I love you all

  Elder Cowden =

[czechadventures]

Day 6+7: Irkutsk and Lake Baikal

Irkutsk, compared to other Russian cities I’ve visited, is considerably smaller, with 400.000 inhabitants.But it doesn’t “feel” small. It offers all the luxuries of big Russian cities, a Lenin street, coffee houses, huge malls, trams, markets, countless museums. When we arrived there, I immediately knew that this would be a place I could see myself live in. It’s full of young people, beautiful old wooden houses from the 19th century can still be found around the center, and what I love most about Irkutsk - it has a long promenade where you can walk along the river Angara. For dinner that night, we decided to raid a продукты (supermarket) and bought lots of bread, caviar, and Smetana. We watched some Russian ‘Kitchen Nightmares’ - the Russian version of Gordon Ramsey is an old woman who asserts equal authority :-) Our next adventure took us on a (long) beautiful (yet another) train ride along the Lake Baikal. We departed at Irkutsk Central Station. The train would stop every once in a while and we were able to get off and take pictures of the landscape. Our first main stop was Sludjanka, a quaint little town with a magnificent church. We were lucky since there was not just regular church service but it was Whitsun Sunday and service was even more impressive. Once again we had to wear headscarves and put on skirts, something that is typical for churches in Siberia and more conservative parishes. (We didnt have to do these things in churches in Piter or Moscow). At one of the stops, a town that consists of a couple of houses and 9 inhabitants, we enjoyed homemade Pirogi with Omul (a fish that is native to the Baikal region). When we arrived in Port Baikal, the last stop of the Baikal Rail route, we had to gett off and use a ferry to get to our final destination, Lystvianka. I always dreamed of visiting Lake Baikal but I never imagined how astonishingly beautiful it really is. In Siberia size matters, which was apparent in the dimensions of the Lake. It seemed more like a sea, with its seemingly endless shores. We werent brave enough to actually dip our toes in it, considering the 13 ° water temperature. I also have to acknowledge the fact that the Baikal region has two surprisingly ‘tasty’ things to offer: Omul fish, which we ate at a small fishmarket, homemade and warm; and the mineral water of Lake Baikal, which is very popular around the country and equal in quality to our great Viennese tap water :-) The day, once again, ended on the train were we headed for our next destination: Novosibirsk, the so-called Capital of Siberia.

[daveywankenobie]

So, the results are in for the Christmas and New Year period.

It was a maintain.

Last week I lost 1.5lbs, and this week I gained it back again – so if nothing else in terms of the holiday season I’m no heavier than I was when I started which is a plus.

In contrast my other half managed her second week in a row losing weight at probably the most difficult time of the year, meaning she dropped at total of 4lbs over the holiday season and because of this also took home the group’s Slimmer of the Week basket!!!

Now it’s my turn to try and emulate her good behaviour because its officially 2020.

Now the hard work starts.

Currently there are a significant number of shirts in my wardrobe that look like they’ve been sprayed onto me – and for anyone that’s been following my blog for any length of time they’ll know that this is a serious issue – because I possess more of this this particular item of clothing than any other.

My last tally came to well over a hundred and then I just stopped counting because I didnt want to stop buying nice ones when I found them. Thankfully my partner seems quite happy to encourage this particular element of my behaviour and she rather likes me in a more flamboyant shirt.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m still not short of shirts and trousers that fit – but some of my absolute favourites are annoyingly out of reach at the moment, and I know that the ones I’m wearing represent (to me at least) someone that I’d rather not be at the moment.

However – there are still wonderful things to find – and (despite their tendency to appear in rather fuddy duddy shops for the middle aged and wealthier denziens of the world) for some time I’ve wanted a pair of Meyer trousers.

Prior to my dumpster diving approach to clothes buying I had no idea about these – but they’re ridiculously well made, comfortable and hard wearing trousers.

They also have lovely stitching and detailing – such as the lining which looks and feels totally awesome!

I picked these up for £5 in a Coventry charity shop – but if I’d bought them new the price would have been VERY different (link).

I have some absolutely prized possessions like these (such as my Paul Smith and Levis 501’s) all of which were found in charity shops – which will last me a very long time indeed if I look after them.

Annoyingly I gave an entire suitcase full of absolutely superb makes of shirts, trousers and denims back to charity about six months ago because they were slightly too big for me.

Consequently I’ve had to re-buy these items over the last month or two just to maintain an operational wardrobe, but it’s been a valuable lesson.

I’ve come to realise that what’s happened to my weight is not failure.

It’s just life.

Well. It is for me and many others anyway.

I have a friend who remarked casually on a walk several months ago that she has dresses and other items of clothing that are well over 20 and sometimes 30 years old that she still wears regularly.

At the time I think she expected me to be horrified when she admitted this to me – but to my mind it represented an absolute dream come true and is practically a perfect description of the guy I’d love to (but don’t think I ever will) be.

For a start it’s environmentally friendly to use clothes for this length of time and because of that I definitely approve. It just goes to show that if you are careful and buy really well made items then they last longer than supermarket fashion brands.

However that wasn’t the only thing that stood out when she said it because most of all her frikkin weight hasn’t changed at all for thirty plus years!!!

The truth is that a huge part of me wanted to just lose all of my fat and then live in a dream world where I never craved anything ever again and where I was to all intents and purposes completely over all of my battles with eating.

I guess it’s why I found the end of my tenure as MOTY such a relief – because I wanted my existence from that point on to be about more than constantly checking and monitoring weight and tinkering with aspects of my diet.

In all honesty I wanted this blog and my everyday world to become a story where I was well adjusted, happily employed, busy doing things I loved and finally – secure in a relationship that makes me feel valued.

Maybe by now I’d have a dog…

Maybe some of that is just wishful thinking though (possibly not the dog though…) because I’ve realised that to leave oneself no breathing room or ‘space to fail’ with deeply entrenched eating habits is a bad thing.

At least for me.

I think I may have to accept that there will be periods in life where I’m the slimmest that I can be and there are others when I’m definitely going to be a bit more cuddly.

Thankfully I recently aquired a great barometer – and she’s proven that she’ll support me when I want to be lighter and also me when I’m a little heavier.

It’s nice to have a voice of sanity (attached to a finger invariably poking me in the ribs) when I’m busy trying to tear myself to shreds with negative inner monologues.

Truthfully though it’s actually helped to have my very first Christmas both off and on plan – and you can trust me when I say that I’ve enjoyed more than my fair share of Christmas cake and other treats!

This Christmas has been very very different to any other year that I’ve experienced though and I don’t just mean in terms of my willingness to consume seasonal nom nom’s.

Since 2016 it’s been relatively easy to have an austere holiday period. I could sit alone at home, not having to acknowledge the time of year and treat each meal time the same way that I would on every other day of the year.

If I wanted to have a salad on Christmas day then who would care? It would after all be only me sitting in front of the TV with a Pyrex mixing bowl full of lettuce so it wouldn’t matter one little bit.

However – after reaching my target weight Christmas suddenly (and a little unexpectedly) became more poignant.

Whereas the 25th of December used to be just a another day on the calendar to me, over time it’s become something that carries a lot more weight than it used to. I’d even go so far as to say that events relating to it have (bit by bit) changed every aspect of my life.

Amazingly it’s only the third year running that I’ve put a tree up.

The first year (link) was something of a triumph for me to do it at all because doing so was wrapped up in lots of long held and very negative associations with my childhood.

When I finally decided it was time to make a change in 2017 the act represented hope and a sense that things were finally changing for the better in my life. I was on my way to target and the tree I bought ultimately ended up covered with decorations that were donated to me by the women at my Slimming World group.

It also had a SW cardboard wish bauble on it with my goal.

Furthermore (although I didn’t buy it) I also had begun to try on some seasonally themed clothing – which was a major leap towards a festive attitude that I’d never felt before.

The following year was quite different though – and instead of me looking at my delicately dressed tree as a symbol of all the positive changes that I’d made in my life (and a reminder of the generosity of others) I instead sat back and viewed it with an overwhelming sense of sadness because all of a sudden it made me feel crushingly lonely (link).

Things happen for a reason though – and as everyone now knows it was that post which prompted my current partner to reach out to me.

The rest (as they say) is history.

This year therefore is (what I consider to be) my first real Christmas since I was a child – because the entirety of it has been spent with someone that’s not only very important to me but makes me very very happy.

Consequently we’ve done Xmas properly – from unwrapping our gifts on Christmas morning (I used to open them as I got them more often than not), having a special dinner, travelling to see family, hosting family, eating cheese and biscuits, indulging a glass or two of Prosecco (I had fizzy pop instead) tucking into in some festive chocolates, playing board games, watching movies and also diving (with great gusto) into some more chocolate.

None of this was really on plan – and I couldnt really even claim it was ‘flexible synning’.

It was really just synning – and therefore my overall maintain is something that is totally deserved. If I (well more accurately WE) hadn’t been so focused on exercise it could just easily have been a massive gain.

Instead my other half and I managed for the entire two week holiday period from the 20th December to today (my partner is a teacher so was off work) to go swimming every single day that wasn’t a bank holiday as well as walking an average of around 9 miles.

For me that meant about 14+ kilometres in the pool and almost 130+ miles on foot.

It’s going to be difficult to get out of the relaxed ‘treat myself’ mentality now though – but do so I must, because now Christmas is over, the decorations have to come down, and my exercise needs to continue without cake.

Balls.

That’s going to be a challenge.

However – I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

Today (Sunday) we got up at 6.30am, got ready, walked two and a half miles to Leamington’s Newbold Comyn leisure centre, swum a kilometre (and I managed a record time for me of 26.50) had a sauna, sat in the plunge pool, walked two and a half miles back again, went straight out to do the shopping (Aldi is CARNAGE unless you’re there waiting for it to open at 9.55am on a Sunday) and then finally returned home to have breakfast and a cup of tea at 11am.

Now all I have to do is not eat everything in sight for the rest of the day and week ahead.

It’s going to be a tall order – but I’m willing to give it a go.

From this point on though (just in case) I’m not going to get rid of the jeans and shirts with a waist that allows for a little bit of wriggle room, but instead put them at the back of a shelf in my wardrobe and save them for a ‘rainy day’.

I’ve currently got nine weeks left on my SW 12 week countdown (I purchased it a while back) and by the end of it I’m calling target – wherever that may be because I have absolutely sod all left to prove and I’m still as fit as a butcher’s dog.

My current goal weight in SW’s system is 15st, and I need to drop a stone and a half in order to get back into that range (15st 3lbs is the top end), which I think is probably do-able in two months.

If I can get any lower then that’s a bonus – but this time around I’ve not got to worry about photoshoots or press calls at the Ritz – I’ve just got to get to a maintainable and comfortable number that suits me and doesn’t mean I have to buy another 100 shirts.

(At least another 100 in a larger size…)

Here goes nothing!

Davey

The wages of cake So, the results are in for the Christmas and New Year period. It was a maintain.

[fsfantasy95]

Into words

Alright it’s September already. Haha Aug was probably the most happening month after my hiatus from excitement since i think Feb???

But anyway I really didn’t intend to fly two times to the same country within the same month lol. The first one was a genuine holiday trip already in place months ago, the second one popped out only one month before. Er I don’t know what made me decide to go for the second one, probably cos I was captivated by the thought of visiting Xitou, or ok lah maybe I was just being a senseless infatuated fangirl.

The holiday trip was good and all (well it is a holiday after all), i think travel companions matter a lot. So thankfully the friends were all easy-going suibian people who dont mind sleeping in on trips, doing nothing on various days, eating lame food etc etc. On the first day we got our hair done at in%, then I dumped the friends to get a photo with Kent Tsai my new obsession!!! He’s a very very cute derpy little boy. HAHAHA I missed one hour of Peici’s concert as a result of that but ok it wasnt too bad. Did i mention peici’s concert was the reason this trip existed in the first place - as weird as it sounds to have arose from jt LOL. Then I met tph’s tw fan to pass her some i-weekly magazines (lolol) and we spent the night roaming around raohe. LOL i think one memorable moment was getting a leg cramp the moment I sat down in the taxi after walking ages at the night market, I was trying to control myself from screaming in pain and attempting to give directions to the cabby at the same time lmao.

On the 2nd day we concurred to sleep in. Jalan-jalan around XMD, random shops and the arcade, went to my favourite GUANG NAN!, I found the camera streets to buy the battery which I very smartly forgot to bring, more jalan jalan and spent the night early at our accom stocked with beer and food. Shiok! Actually this is the perfect holiday itinerary.

3rd-4th was packed with the tour itinerary up to shei-pa. Ok this was suggested by me because I am a sucker for mountainous areas, I am going to conquer all the national parks in taiwan. Not too bad with nice chilly air, although not as chio as i expected hmms. Jt and I attempted one of the forest trekking paths ourselves and shit that was one scary 40mins of our lives HAHAHA. There was freaking not a single soul in the whole forest and the path was much longer than we expected. There was a point when I wondered if I would ever get out of that place. Then we missed some star-gazing guide at night because idk who remembered the timing wrongly wtf hahahahah then we forced the provision shop to sell us beer and cup noodles even though they were already closed.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention that the bendy roads up were one of the worst..even I felt a bit bad upon reaching the top (I am usually the one enjoying being thrown around the vehicle). Went up further to the national park area - more mountain views, and trekking paths!!! Ok lah my stamina still survivable. Wasted time visiting some boring museum-ish place along the way down and I was late for my Kent Tsai bubble tea shop event. Sucks! Hahaha literally opened my luggage along the streets of xmd to change my camera lens. We did supermarket shopping that night, the loots were a considerable lot hahaha. I remember sleeping around 3am trying to watch xmj’s live after all the packing and watching tv.

Last day was the epic shit having breakfast at the hotel and getting caught in a rat attack. LOL it was damn amusing cos people were screaming and some auntie was trembling in fear just because of one rat. But the rat ended up getting killed right beside our table (VIP zone for us) and I was recording it and we were screaming and laughing so hysterically HAHAHAHA. Shit the singaporean spirit, I was one of the only few whipping out my phone to record the commotion lolololol. We wanted to visit maokong for the last few hours but I think we ended up just roaming the taipei main station underground shops and spending money on arcade and gachapons.

Hahaha definitely an enjoyable trip. We hit 600 for our basketball machine!! and the stupid fruit vinegar drink I bought for kent tsai but had to use it as forfeit to finish the not-so-nice drink XD

Back to work for another two weeks and I was off again. This time for jaydaone only jaydaone. Haha another set of easy-going travel companions, so everything was gooddddd! We checked-in early to get some last minute buys for him (lol the TWG tea smelled funny honestly) and we thought we had much time to jalan jalan and ended up being the last few at the boarding gate.  Took our time to fly there, eat breakfast at the airport, slowly made our way to taichung, and after much walking around finally reached xitou. Shit the bus from taichung to xitou was damn awesome for catching up on sleep. Our minsu owners didnt let us go back to the accom and insisted we toured the monster village first before returning. Oh well never give laoniang here chance to put makeup.... haha we finished the whole village i think by 6+pm. Its not as big as I thought.... but there were some amusing things which we are still laughing over now LOL just some very vulgar packaging boxes useful for scolding people. Cant stop using the phrases after that. Hahahaha bought convenience store food (my mayday limited edition taiwan beer!!) and we were back in the accomm by early night. Idk how we still dragged until past 12midnight to sleep lol . Ate our food (without utensils!!! how can family mart do this to us), drank beer watch TV listened to jaydaone’s radio (and off-ed it halfway cos it was damn noisy) wrote some cards and nuasaied in the room. Shiok.

Up earlyyyyyyyyyyyy as planned but took longer than expected to get ready. So we were behind our own schedule hahaha sucks! We panicked when the minsu person told us it would require around 40mins to reach the event location from the main entrance. Had to forgo the minsu breakfast :c and we made our way direct to the event location. That was quite a climb, and wtf lyc reached even before us. We choped a good spot and yeah of course everybody else just conveniently slotted in without expressing any form of gratitude, ohwells hahahaha but doesnt matter la there is no fierce competition there and then. Lyc appears and sang 4 songs, I wasnt watching him most of the time cos I was busy taking photos. Errrrrr like lol I flew over there just to watch him but end up looking at the camera screen. But I think he was in a good mood c: Haha at the end of the performance we had a mini gathering nearby, it was longer than the performance time. I remember he emerged and was walking down the slope and we went up to say hi. MY PRINCE ON A WHITE HORSE *v* ahhhh hahaha please pardon me while I switch to xmm fangirl mode. I think the rest I should just leave it because I have already recorded it down somewhere and it is not easy to put into words without sounding like a freak. But he is nice nice nice very very nice and I am very very grateful he is who he is. I think I’ve seen him for >15 times but this is the first time(?) i held his hand properly HAHAHA shit this is going to sound erxin but when he was leaving he was saying thanks and he held out his hand so I reached out for it and at that moment I just had this thought that, Oh dear I don’t want to let go yet so I held on and he didnt let go too (!!) I think I had his right and stephy had his left. Hahahahahahaha. Then he gave the kind of look that goes through your eyes and said xiexie. Walao please please kill me please 为什么就是一股温暖满满的温暖我感觉支持你快10年了我青春有你什么都值得了

Lol okay enough hahahaha i think its hard for people to understand. Anyway right after he left we walked back to attempt some last minute sightseeing before rushing for the bus. I remember us scolding some shit while walking HAHAHAHA so much for putting on a fake demure front when the idol’s around. Back to taichung and met with mans the siao last-minute-decided-to-come girl, we created a tiny hoo-ha at uriko’s art exhibition cos they got to know that there were a few singaporeans there lol. But she is very pretty and talented. Now I understand why tintin went crazy over her hahahahaha. Our schedule for the night had two deleted items, one pan wei bo event and one dimdimsum trip, we ended up having dinner at yizhong and trying out the random 100dollar item vending machine. Watched kent tsai and the chi qing nan zi han at night. Freaking 3rd row in a huge cinema i think my neck is very unwell. Walked fengchia at night and found out our flight was delayed by freaking 8 hours!! Ded. Made plans to cancel our HSR tix.

Last day was spent on Kent Tsai at kaohsiung. Haha shit his face was sooooo grumpy that day. We had another round of the movie for the after-show qna and he actually asked us to shhh cos our cameras were so loud. Wtf hahaha this kid. But he is still very cute lah. Then we went to the adidas exhibits thingy and ruifeng night market (extra time cos of the flight delay zzz) and then we slowly took the bus back to taoyuan. Reached airport at 4+am I think. Haha last minute buys at 7-11 and beer. I think I was close to k.o. already, i need sleep!!!! Horrors of further flight delay by 2hrs. Lol kept thinking of how to kaopei the flight carrier. Ended up we didnt use the meal vouchers cos we thought they were for in-flight when they were actually for airport shops zzzzzzzzzzzz. But at the end they gave us flight vouchers and insurance is claimable so Ok lor I dont mind. Luckily I took extra day leave for work beforehand, if not jialat only.

Hahaha awesome awesome trips. Shit once the flying starts I think it is hard to stop. Oh dear. Sigh its back to reality for now... dont know how long I can survive without anymore excitement....... Argh I think i sound like a kid. But whatever lah gimme a break from all these adult life and societal cruelty (and SHITASS people) for once or twice. Bye back to the mundane mundane shitty life.