#so i went back and unblocked some of them lol but i was surprised by the amount of bot hell still sitting in there!

[orion-my-rion]

i was going through my blocked tumblrs the other day and it's INSANE to me how many very obvious spam accounts that i've reported and blocked are still there?? like some of them turned into "uhh who?" nonsense but many of them from even Months ago are still in there. what happened! fucking bizarre i swear

[ollyou]

It's seriously so annoying to see you constantly stir up drama, please stay on twitter. You send your followers after people and even if I block you the entirety of PMTOK rides your dick over everything you say and it's on my fucking feed anyways. Being in a server with you was seriously hell. Not saying who I am, so you get to guess. Get a fucking job. (Still in your server BTW, but I'll leave soon <3)

(Not a genuine response; talking about a silly dream I had under the cut)

I had a dream about us last night where you were this cool artist I admired the art of (who doesn’t exist outside the dream world) who was following me and we DMed each other on Discord all nicely sometimes, but over time you grew increasingly hostile and mean towards me and my art skills until some day after sending this ask, you just DMed me confirming it was you, and blocked me. But for some reason, you were able to keep sending me DMs and I just wasn’t able to respond, and you just kept DMing me ranting about me and how you hate me over and over again every time I thought you were done, but I eventually realized I could just react to your messages with letter emojis, and after a long time of not knowing what to write, spelled out “dummy” (but like, with a weird N emoji for the second M). You then proceeded to explode at me, in shock I would be so “rude” to you, but then I realized I was somehow able to just type full sentences using letter emojis on Discord. I kept writing responses and you read them, although I took a very long time pressing each button, making several spelling errors, but I talked about how I still think your art is cool, but what’s not cool is how randomly rude you started getting to me. I said I liked your Olivia design, which you apparently had, and posted it somewhere you could see (I kinda forgot the details about this one). You saw the drawing, and went silent before you unblocked me without telling me, and sent a transparent edit of the Olivia drawing I made. You said you liked it, and thanked me, and a minute later, it was your profile picture. I was REALLY surprised and confused about your sudden change of heart, but we kept talking for a bit, and somehow got back on good terms. You said you actually don’t mind me now, and want to be friends, so we became friends! We shared PMTOK art with one another and even eventually hung out irl, somehow (everyone I know in my dreams is capable of meeting me irl easily, for some reason). I wound up telling Sega about this, and we were just relieved we had someone who we could respect. I think you might’ve even drawn ME fanart, but I don’t remember!

The end 😇

(OH YEAH ALSO it’s probably worth it to mention i dont send my followers after people nor do i frequently get into drama unless it’s asking someone to take a post involving me or sega down ((MOSTLY TO ART THIEVES)) idk what sort of stuff this anon has been looking for but no one’s left my INACTIVE server i havent checked since January 26, 2023 and im pretty sure this is a troll)

(Oh also also @ anon: if you’re not trolling and want me to give you a legitimate response then just like… DM me dude i dont bite I’d be more than happy to help with whatever problems my existence is causing you /hj? gen? idk LOL just dm me you’ll be fine)

[xander-morrison]

Learning Tekken 3 day 8

I've now unlocked all of the characters in the game. I started by clearing arcade mode with Law, who seems kinda one dimensional but effective enough I suppose, and then Hwoarang, who I enjoyed much more but felt like suffered from a similar problem. Both of these characters strongly prefer to spam standing kicks, and so when the opponent crouches you immediately lose a lot of your best tools. I have this same issue with my main Xiaoyu, but I know at least a few moves like down+lp that can be used as good mixups. These two characters I never got far enough learning them to overcome that hurdle.

Law unlocked True Ogre and Hwoarang unlocked nothing, which was my cue to stop playing arcade mode. I immediately noticed tekken ball mode on the menu and was pleasantly surprised to see Gon. All I had to do was beat him to unlock him, which was my next goal. And then I lost and didn't see him for the next like 3 rounds of tekken ball. Jack is BUSTED for ball mode btw, cross cut spam is incredibly effective.

So I looked up how to unlock Gon, and found several answers. Luckily, one of them was correct, I just needed to set a high score in survival mode (basically back to back fights with only a small heal between). I got like 10 or 11, which beat the high score. I also set my initials to GON on the leaderboard because I was told it was necessary, and although I wasn't sure if that was true or not, I wasn't taking any chances at this point. Sure enough, it unlocked Gon.

I ran through all of Gon's moves in training mode like I would with any other character, only to realize Gon was probably my least favorite character in the game to play. He's slow, stubby, and his only good qualities are his obnoxiously small height and spammable moves. Good for winning fights, not good for having fun. I wrote him off and started on the beat em up side mode tekken force, which I apparently had to clear 4 times to unlock the final character, Dr. Bosconovitch.

Immediately I ran into an issue: I suck at this mode. A lot of the problem lies with the controls, since it plays like a normal tekken 1v1, but your character can randomly switch which enemy they're focusing on at any given moment. Also if you go too far to the sides, enemies just stay off screen. In general the camera is ass and maneuvering around is harder than it has any reason to be. I tried a couple times with Xiaoyu but couldn't get past about stage 3. I looked up advice for this mode since I didn't really care for it and just wanted the character unlock, only to find the solution was the very character I had written off 10 minutes ago.

Gon has two very spammable moves that basically win tekken force on their own: spamming rk for the tail spin, which moves towards nearby enemies and covers a wide area, and spamming lp+rp for the fireball, an unblockable projectile that can stunlock AIs for a while at the level they were at. So I tried a couple of times, and while I did get farther, I ran into a wall: at the end I had to fight Heihachi, who was not taking any shit from me.

I decided to take a break and see how far I could get in Gon's arcade mode. The idea was, I could get a couple more moves under my belt and then practice the Heihachi matchup once I got there. And after adding exactly two more moves to my repertoire (lk tail sweep and charging headbutt, to be exact), I found that was somehow enough to beat all of arcade mode. Gon's victory cinematic loops forever btw, which is... incredible.

Anyways, I did eventually clear tekken force and unlock Bosconovitch, only to find I hate playing him more than Gon lol. Remember when I said Gon was good to win with, not to have fun with? Bosconovitch is good for neither. I know there's some sauce to this character, because I went back to practicing Xiaoyu and ran into him round 7. He wiped the floor with me (pun intended), so I know he can do SOMETHING, I just don't have the faintest idea how yet.

Anyways, I believe the only characters I haven't touched yet are Nina, Lei, Eddy, Julia, Ogre and True Ogre. I'm aware Tiger exists, but he's just a costume for Eddy so I don't consider him a character per se. I'll clear arcade with them too, but I'm really starting to get comfy with Xiaoyu so I think my main is cemented at this point unless one of those really wows me. Kinda disappointed I'm out of characters to unlock, but hey, there's still much to learn.

[confusednarcissistwrites]

Teenage Dirtbag PT.3 (K.S.)

Sorry for the delay guys! I should really get a more regular posting schedule for this, but for now it’s just as I get parts written lol If anyone would be interested in being added to a taglist, let me know! Enjoy some building angst 😉

(suggestion of smut, mentions of alcohol, cursing)

You and Kyle were jerked awake by the sound of banging on the door.

“Wake up and get dressed!” called a voice, making rounds to clear out their house of all the overnighters.

It took you a second to gain your bearings through the hangover. You were naked in a room you didn’t recognize with your ex-boyfriend who was also naked. Fantastic.

Kyle groaned and rubbed his eyes harshly, clearly on the same page. Avoiding eye contact, you both got up and searched for your clothes that were thrown about the room. Though the tension was nearly unbearable, the thought of talking about what had happened made your already nauseous stomach so somersaults.

“Do you need a ride?” You were surprised he was the first to speak. You looked up at him, watching as he pulled his shirt over his head. You hated how attracted to him you still were.

“No, I drove with- oh shit.” Missy. You’d completely forgotten. You snatched your coat up off the floor and pulled your phone from your pocket hurriedly. Thankfully, there was a text from her last night:

‘Getting a ride home from Kelly, hope you’re okay xx’

You sighed in relief, holding your aching head for a moment. Everything was spinning.

“You don’t look too good. Maybe I should drive you home,” Kyle pressed, spinning the ring on his thumb, a tick of his you’d come to recognize.

“Okay.” You really didn’t want to, but you also knew he was right about you not being able drive safely like this.

He unblocked the door, and you followed him out. The house was trashed. People were passed out on the floor while others stepped over them trying to clean up half empty cups of liquor and the remnants of a silly string war.

He was parked in the back where the band had performed the night before. Only then did it dawn on you that that was why he was at the party. You climbed into the passenger side of his old beater, wishing like hell that you could just drive yourself home. Too much had happened in that car for you to not feel just the slightest bit disgusted with yourself for finding yourself right back there again.

He flicked on the radio, his favorite jazz cd filling the silence between you. All the little things you thought you’d made up in your mind to make him more endearing in your memories were right there in front of you. You fought so hard to hate him, to remember all the pain he’d put you through. Yet, you still ached for him to reach over and hold your hand like he used to.

‘God, Missy is going to kill me.’

Pulling up in front of your dorms, Kyle put the car in park and looked over at you. He spun his ring, looking down. Never before had you seen him look so shy.

“I uh..”

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll give you a call and we can talk later, okay?” you interrupted, sparing you both from his struggle to find words.

“O-okay. Sounds good,” he replied, looking up to meet your eyes. You sat looking back at him for half a second before climbing out of the car and heading into the building, not looking back. To say you felt shaken was an understatement. You hurried to your dorm, trying to slip in quietly in case Missy was still sleeping. Should you be so lucky.

She sat cross-legged on her bed sipping from a mug of coffee and staring judgmentally at you over the brim. “Coffee is still hot if you want some.”

You hung up your coat, not saying anything as you poured yourself a mug and reached for the aspirin, awaiting the incoming ass-chewing.

“Kyle Scheible. Again. Because it went so well the first time.”

“We just fooled around, Missy. It didn’t mean anything. We were both drunk,” you said defensively, though you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince.

She sighed. “Look, I’m not your mom. I’m not going to lecture you. Just think about it.”

“Nothing to think about,” you deflected with a little shrug. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

You gathered up your things, saying a quick goodbye as you left the dorm to go wash last night’s events from your skin and hopefully ease your headache. Fortunately, the showers were almost empty this late in the morning, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Glimpses of the night before came back to you as you slipped out of your clothes. The less you wore, the more bruises and scratches you found. You felt.. wrong. It felt wrong that no matter how much you over thought the events of the night before, you didn’t feel much regret for what had happened. Stepping under the hot stream of water, you let out a contented sigh, feeling your tense muscles relax. ‘What do I have to feel bad about?’ you rationalized. He had initiated. You tried to fathom what his game was. Perhaps there was no game. Maybe it was just sex. You washed away what little remained of your makeup, feeling a bit deflated. You decided to rest that afternoon, and then decide whether or not you would call him.

However, when you got back to your room and checked your phone, there was already a text from him waiting for you:

“Let’s meet at the park instead. Hate talking on the phone. 8 work?”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Yeah, that’s fine.” You should have known you were going to get out of this that easily.

++++++

After spending the afternoon in bed relaxing around the dorm, you got up and got dressed to go out and meet up with Kyle. Needless to say, you’d been thinking about it all day. Would you guys be able to finally talk about things, or would this just be another screaming match? Did he even want to talk? What was his endgame? You had no clue. Even worse, you weren’t sure what you wanted out of meeting up with him. You looked into the mirror, tugging your high collared shirt a bit higher to try and cover the dark marks he’d left. After slipping on your shoes, you wrote a quick note to let Missy know you were going out once she got back from her class. You spared details knowing they would just make her worry. A deep breath and then you were out the door.

When you arrived at the park, you spotted Kyle’s car tucked away behind a grove of trees. You rolled your eyes, parking next to him. You never did understand his paranoia over people knowing where he was. He watched as you hopped out of your car and into his passenger seat, a hand-rolled cigarette hanging from his lips.

“Hey,” you exhaled, your anxiety flaring. He was even harder to be next to when you didn’t have any alcohol in your system.

“Hey,” he replied, exhaling smoke out his cracked window before offering the cigarette to you. You took it, cracking your window and taking a pull. The tobacco he used always tasted so much better than the cheap Malls you bummed at parties. Kyle had been the first to introduce you to it all. You felt your nerves easy slightly, handing it back to him. He tapped it in the ashtray, looking over at you expectantly. “You wanted to talk?”

You voice caught in your throat. Shit. It had been you who had said you would call. “I-I mean I didn’t.. really have anything to say. I just.. thought we should.” You wiped your sweaty palms on your ripped jeans, avoiding his ever-intense gaze.

“About?”

You shot him a look, sensing him toying with you. He just looked right back at you. “Well, I mean the fact that we slept together last night, for starters.”

He cleared his throat, stubbing out the butt. He stayed quiet, reaching out and pulling your collar aside slightly to see the pink, purple imprint of his mouth. You watched his eyes darken. “It was good.”

You swallowed, drawing your knees together slightly. You wanted to ask him if he regretted it, but you knew that was never Kyle’s style. If it brought him pleasure in the moment, then it was always worth it no matter the consequences. “Yeah,” you breathed, distracted by his fingers brushing over the mark. You knew full well that what you had done was not “good,” but, God, it certainly had felt good. Feeling a bit panicky under his touch, you reached for the cigarette and took another pull. Your eyes met as he watched you carefully. You couldn’t miss the way his eyes drifted to your lips as you exhaled, smoke swirling gracefully between you and curling around his face.

Suddenly his hand was at your nape and his lips were on yours. Without the filter of alcohol this time, you were able to feel every ounce of his need for you. No matter why it was there, it made him absolutely magnetizing, and you just couldn’t resist. You kissed him back for no logical reason other than the fact that it felt so damn good. His free hand found your thigh, making you gasp softly and allowing him the chance to invade your mouth with his tongue. Your hands tangled into his curls. You noticed his hair was longer now. His hand tightened on your thigh, eliciting a soft whimper from you.

He pulled away, his eyes blown with lust. “Backseat?”

You didn’t even hesitate.

+++++

When it was all over, you were tucked under his arm and you were both covered by a thin blanket he’d had in his car for emergencies. The windows were fogged over, and you were both still trying to catch your breath. You couldn’t fathom how on earth you possibly had ended up back here again so easily. Sitting up, you began to pull your clothes back on.

“Y/N,” he called softly, halting your movements. You turned to look back at him, and he sat up, his hand sliding along your jaw as he pressed a lingering kiss to your lips. “That was so good.”

You couldn’t help but blush, a ghost of a smile on your lips as he continued peppering kisses along your neck and face. “Kyle.. I need to go,” you giggled ticklishly, lightly pushing him away. When he sat back, you were able to see he was smiling too. A wave of emotion washed over you, and you promptly realized how fucked you were. Your smile faded, and you hurried to finish getting dressed. Once you were fully dressed and he was decently, you popped open the door and slid out. You looked back to him, hesitating only a moment before you closed the door behind you and got back in your own car.

It wasn’t until you were almost home that you felt the tears falling down your cheeks.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Ice Cold ~Part 11

A/N: For once in a story I’m writing, I’m not going to be writing any actual smut. Wild I know. I’m just not feeling like it’s very important for this one. Hope you guys understand and if you want that kind of thing I have many other stories and one shots that you might enjoy. But in the meantime enjoy this also lol

Ps: This one is pretty cute AND COMPLETELY   F I C T I O N    NONE OF THIS IS REAL AND I’M NOT SAYING IT IS.

I ended up deciding to move in with Will and Kasperi. It had been a really wonderful three months in the apartment. I felt safer and working so close to where I lived now was so handy. There had been a few nights where Amy slept over because it would be more convenient for work. I loved that I could do that. They were very clear that what was theirs was mine even though I couldn't pay a lot for rent. The boys were going to be home from a road trip any minute and I was so excited. I still hated the road trips a lot. Never got used to being alone in this place.

I heard William's loud happy laugh from down the hall. I opened the door and ran down the hall to him. He smiled wide as I got to him and jumped into his arms. I kissed his face all over with smiley kisses.

"Happy to see me?"

"Pfft no." I replied kissing his lips once before jumping down.

"Yeah everyone really believes that." Kasperi said rolling his eyes, holding up his phone.

"Hi Kappy." I gave him a big hug around his waist and smiled up at him.

"Hi you little shit."

"I made some cookies for you guys!"

"That is so sweet of you love, let's go inside."

We went in and I followed William to the bedroom. He was unpacking his bags with his back to me. I went up and smacked his ass before hugging him from behind. He laughed loud, and heartily. He grabbed onto my forearm and twisted so he could face me. He held my face and kissed me hard.

"You're so funny. I love you."

"Love you." I kissed him again until we heard a throat clearing.

"Hey, I'm gonna um.. go for a walk." Kasperi said awkwardly.

"Dude if you need to feed just say so. I can tell you know. Your eyes kinda give it away."

"Oh shit true. How bad are they?"

"They're pretty much all red."

"I'm sorry (y/n)."

"Kasperi. Stop. You don't have to act human all the time. I know what and how you guys are. I'm not scared of you."

"We just don't want to make you uncomfortable, love." William said, playing with my hair.

"I'm not though. I want you guys to be comfortable as yourselves with me around. I'm going to be around for a long time and I don't know when I'll be like you. I don't want you guys to hold yourselves back until then."

"Don't talk like that."

"Alright well then I'm going to the woods around Mo's. I should be back by morning, I might spend the night."

"Alright bye Kas."

"Bye!" I called out as the door closed.

I was quiet after he left as I left the room heading for the living room. I was feeling really upset that William shut me down all the time when I said I was going to be like them. I just kept thinking about it. I couldn't help it, it was a little crushing.

"What's the matter?" He asked softly, coming to sit beside me on the couch.

"What?"

"Your eyebrows are creased and your jaw is tight. On top of that your heart is beating harder, like you're mad."

"Do you not want to be with me for a long time?"

"What? That's crazy talking. Are you serious right now my love?"

"Yes. Every time anyone mentions me turning and being around for a long time you get mad. Do you not want me around for a long time?"

"Baby of course I want you around for a long time. I want you around forever. You're going to be with me forever. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that." He held me face and brought me in for a really short but incredibly intense kiss. "I love you and can't wait to spend forever with you."

"Then why do you get so upset when I talk about it?"

"I've seen how awful it is to be changed with Mitch. He couldn't stomach the blood, he just kept puking so because Auston wasn't controlled enough to bite and inject the venom without drinking his blood and Morgan had to do it. It was really painful for Mitch. He was in so much pain for a couple of days. I keep thinking about him and I'm so afraid that you're going to have a bad experience like he did and regret everything."

"William I love you more than you could ever know. If I have to be in pain for a few days to spend my whole extended life with you I will. Gladly."

"You're perfect." He kissed me again but Mitch busted through the door. "Way to knock Mitchell."

"This is important, hide me."

"Mitchy what's wrong?" I asked, trying to calm him down.

"(Y/n) I need to talk to you in private. Will please stop Auston and take him somewhere else."

"Mitch-"

"I don't have time for questions William! Please! Just do this for me right now and I'll explain later. Please!" He was exasperated, running his hands through his hair and pulling on it.

"Willy obviously this is important. Please just take Auston out and we can relax together when they're good, okay?"

"Okay." He said with a frustrated sigh.

"See you later." I gave him a kiss and he ran out of the apartment.

"Mitchy what's happening?"

"I don't want to say anything yet. Can I just get a hug?"

"Of course you can honey, come here." I opened my arms and he fell into them crying. "Oh Mitch."

"It's okay, I'm just really flustered right now. I don't know what to do."

"Is everything okay?"

"No. How was your day?"

"It was boring. I really missed you guys."

"I know it sucked that we got split up on two flights. I don't even know how that happens. Fucking stupid. They're lucky we didn't have a game this afternoon."

"It was probably because of the snow storm. A lot of planes were grounded. What time did you guys get in?"

"Half of us got in last night around 4am."

"Gross that's such a shitty time."

"Like yeah it is but Auston drove so I slept the whole drive home."

"Poor sleepy Auston."

"He's good."

"Are you ready to talk yet?"

"Yeah they should be far enough away to not hear me."

"What happened Mitch?"

"I thought a lot about what you said. About Steph and stuff. I broke up with her this morning."

"Oh man. I'm sorry Mitchy, that's never easy."

"She was devastated. She thought I was cheating, then she thought I was gay, then she thought I was just scared to get serious, then she thought I was trying to ruin her 10 year plan..she was big on those. Before 10 years she wanted to be married with at least one child. I couldn't do that hurting for Auston the way I was. It was all a big mess."

"That sounds awful."

"It lasted for literally 3 hours. It was a three hour breakup where she kept me trapped in the house."

"God that's awful. Do you want something to drink?"

"Alcohol. Strongest you've got, I beg you." I went to the kitchen and came back with a white coconut lime flavoured wine and two glasses. He downed his first glass like it was nothing.

"This stuff is strong, you might want to pace yourself."

"After the day I've had, I don't care."

"So what happened after she stopped freaking out?"

"I had brought her stuff back from my place, she threw it everywhere and broke stuff. I didn't have much at her place but she threw all that stuff too. Only broke one thing though and luckily it wasn't that important."

"That's insane."

"It legit was the worse case scenario."

We kept drinking as he explained what happened with Stephanie. I was shocked. I understood heartbreak but I didn't understand psychotic meltdown. The more he explained it, the less sense she made and the drunker we got. I was only tipsy but Mitch was getting pretty drunk. He was laying on the floor with his feet up on the couch still.

"So wait how did that turn into you running away from Aus?"

"Oh shit right! So basically I came home upset, as you can imagine. Auston wasn't home until a couple hours later. I was in bed sad and he came in. He asked me what was wrong and I told him what happened. He tried to cheer me up but it wasn't working so he volunteered to bring me here to talk to you, see if you could help I guess."

"That makes sense so far."

"So we're walking and suddenly out of fucking nowhere he unblocks his thoughts!"

"Oh for fuck sakes." I said face palming.

"I was so surprised that I could hear him again I didn't even realize what he was thinking. His mind's voice was screaming at me though. Yelling for me to pay attention so I did and God it was intense. It was so much and I was so overwhelmed."

"Oh jeez."

"Oh jeez is right! Like it was every thought he's had about me was right there."

"That is a lot. I can't even imagine that."

"I thought he didn't even like me but he loves me (y/n), he really does. He's not grossed out that I'm a guy, he's not worried about me being young or annoying..he's not ashamed of me. He loves me."

"I know honey, I figured it out when I was talking to him like a month ago. I told him to unblock his thoughts."

"You told him to do this?!"

"I suggested it because it might be easier for him than working up the nerve to talk about it. I meant for him to do once he was out of that cell not after you broke up with your girlfriend."

"I don't care. I want to know. I'm so happy that I know. I love him so much. I can't believe I just took off."

"Do you want me to get them back?"

"Yes I need to see him. I need to talk." 

"Okay I text William and he said they'll be here in a couple minutes."

"I can't wait. I'm gonna kiss him as soon as I see him." He said smiling and kicking his legs a little. I laughed at how cute he was. We were quiet for a little while, I didn't know if he wanted to talk anymore or not. After a minute I spoke up again though. I couldn't keep my mouth shut if I tried.

"You doin okay down there?"

"Yeah I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Auston."

"What about him?"

"I just hope I didn't ruin everything."

"You didn't." Auston and I said at the same time. I whipped around making William snort, I hadn't heard them come in.

"Aus, I'm sorry for running." Mitch said getting up. He stumbled a bit but ran over to him pulling his head down to smash their lips together in a sloppy kiss. "I'm sorry I was just really overwhelmed."

"Don't be sorry. I was a little shit to do that to you after today. I'm sorry, Mouse." He said into Mitch's hair as he held him close.

"It's okay. It's okay. Can we talk more about this tomorrow? I don't want to be drunk for it."

"Of course we can. I'll give you all the time you need."

"Can you take me home? I wanna go back home."

"Absolutely. We can do whatever you want." He kissed Mitch's head and pulled away holding his hand.

"Sorry that we interrupted your guy's night." Mitch said swaying into Auston. "And drank all your wine."

"It's okay Mitchy, no harm done."

Mitch gave me a big hug and to my surprise Auston gave me a hug too. It wasn't like the one Mitch gave, it was only a one arm thing but I was still surprised.

"Thank you for everything." He whispered to me before they left. We waved goodbye as they left the apartment and shut the door behind themselves. William wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him.

"You did that babygirl. That happiness? You help them find it. You're incredible."

"I just wanted them to be happy. Auston was having a really hard time, Mitchy was really upset. I didn't like it."

"You're so lovely."

"Will stop." I said blushing.

"No. You're the sweetest girl I've ever met in my life." He lifted me up and I squealed, wrapping my limbs around him. 

"I am so in love with you."

"And I with you." He smiled the prettiest smile I had ever seen in my life and I couldn't help but smile back. He sat me on the kitchen counter which was a surprise because I didn't know we were moving at all, so wrapped up in the beauty of him.

"You guys can do normal pictures right?"

"Love you literally take pictures of me for a living." He teased kissing my nose.

"Yeah but that's with a professional camera I was just wondering with phones and stu- okay. Stop laughing at me you ass." I hit his shoulder angry.

"Baby how can I not? You should know the answer."

"Maybe I'm drunker than previously thought."

"Yeah those cheeks are awfully rosy. Get into the wine did we?"

"Don't pinch my cheeks! I'm not a child." I smacked his hand.

"Oou a violent drunk." He teased again, grabbing my wrists and pinning them beside my head on the cupboards. I whimpered lightly. "You okay?"

"Um yes."

"Why are you making those little sounds?" He asked breathing against my neck while running his bottom lip against it. I shivered and he chuckled. "Use your words baby."

"I um..I like this. A lot. Too much probably."

"Yeah? You're into giving up control?"

"Y-yeah.. I like it a lot." 

"We can play around with these kinds of things later on if you want? I'd like to explore the things you like."

"I want to do that too with you." I tried to kiss him but he pulled back biting the smirk on his lips. "Kiss me right now."

"Ah, ah, ah baby. Be patient."

"I caaaan't."

"Fine, I'll let it slide this time you big baby."

"Your baby."

"Yes darling, my baby." He let my hands go to grip my hips. 

"Please?"

He didn't answer, just pressed his lips to mine in a fevered kiss. It was really intense and my head was spinning. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth slightly to meet his tongue. I wrapped my hands into his hair and pulled him closer to me. We were making out pretty heavily until the door opened and Kappy walked in.

"Oh shit, sorry! I uh decided to come back. Mo and Tessa were fighting. Forget I was here." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"It's fine Kas." William said stepping away from me.

"Your ugly face kinda ruined the mood anyway."

"Excuse me?! My ugly face? Have you seen my face? I'm gorgeous."

"Sure Kappy if you say so." I shrugged.

"I'm going to bed, I've had enough drunk (y/n) nonsense."

"I'm not that drunk!"

"Whatever." He called closing his door.

"I'm sorry that we got interrupted princess."

"It's okay Will. I wasn't kidding though, he did ruin the mood."

"I'm glad he did."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't have been able to stop and I have plans for us next weekend. Special plans."

"Just us?"

"Yeah. A little vacation just you and me."

"What are these plans?"

"I've rented a cabin for the weekend. I have a game Friday night but the plan is to leave that night after the game to go up north to Bracebridge. We stay all day Saturday and Sunday. We leave Sunday night after dinner to come back for work Monday."

"I love that! You're not gonna try to make me ski or something are you?" I asked suspiciously, eyeing him up.

"You ski? Absolutely not darling. I'm not even going to risk that. No we're probably going to be inside for the most part. Aside from those winter walks through the woods you like so much."

"Can we try to feed birds?!" I asked getting excited.

"You can try. I don't think I'll have much success."

"How come?"

"Animals don't usually like vampires much. There's always exceptions but most don't want anything to do with us."

"Fair enough I suppose. But! You can stay super still so maybe birds will want something to do with you!"

"We shall see baby, we shall see."

"I'm so excited to go spend time just us. It sounds romantic!"

"It will be."

[nightowlgunner]

Her

It was like June 2020 when I started playing with Kristine. That was also the time na she got laid off so we got the chance na magkalaro sa game full time. It was also the time na, I slowly opened up to her. Because I have strong walls eh, I do not let people come in my life easily. Since Kristine looks sincere and a listener to me, I gave her the way to get in. I talk about my rants about how my day goes and my relationship status with Joan. There is something about her that makes me want to know her more. There are many things na napagkakasunduan namin that leads to laughing and feeling na magaan lang kausap. I also liked that she is interested in the Game that I am playing, We shared things from the moment she started playing pc games back then, her ex gf's, her dramas in life, her fam, her girlfriend but not too much of it. She shares her problem too, the same goes with me.

Back then, I got curious about Kristine because of the stories that I have heard from Joan about her and her ex-gf and the toxicity of her relationship with Rose.

I admit she got my sympathy. Reminded me of my past relationship and how she handled it. Later on, whenever Kristine goes back here in Manila for a vacation, she always invites us. So I have no choice but to go with Joan though I am way too shy na makihalubilo sa mga tao.

By the first time that I met Kristine she was with her ex-gf Siena. There was nothing special or any thing that I felt. I was just nervous meeting her. Idk. Because I feel like she is intimidating. It was just a stage of knowing her, but she was nice naman. That time I remember Joan blocked her on my fb friend's list because of some reasons that i am not sure of, like Jealousy. Joan is always jealous which make me feel like hindi ako katiwa tiwalang tao. Lol. Grabe lang. And since then, Kristine unblocked me.

Way back 2018, I casually message her, like saying Hi, Hello, a little update of my day, and a little sharing of how me and Joan is doing.

I remember that it was also the time that she is trying to open up about her problems with Siena and so i made a GC where me, Joan and tine are messaging so she will not think too much back in Dubai.

I think she was on the verge of breaking up with Siena?

I have work back then so our exchange of messages was not that constant.

Joan used to rant at Kristine about me and how our life have been, which I do not like. Kasi nahihiya ako na kailangan pa ilabas ang mga bagay bagay na hindi naman dapat. There are times I feel uncomfortable kapag sinasabihan din ako ni Tine about our probs. But i just shrugged it off na lang.

It was also the time that I am focus to Joan too.

'Til Pandemic came. I am so happy may kalaro na ako sa game and that is her. Most of the time we play during afternoons, we also got the chance to try voice call each other on Messenger.

Then there goes the story, we talk a lot, shared a lot and our game time is way fun because she is a good team mate.

She was a good listener. And she understands me. Not all the time she is in favor of me, there are times she helps me understand things.

But most of the time, She makes me feel valid.

August came and Joan celebrated her birthday.

September and I celebrated mine, and I received a gift from her, it was a cake. She told me in Whatsapp that it was for me only. She just made it look like it was also for Joan since she never gave her any present last month.

October came, and I decided to make a surprise for her birthday, I'm talking about Kristine here. And so I did. We call her through VC in Messenger and I greeted her in my Facebook Gaming page, and made an appreciation post for her in my IG, which she really liked.

November came and I broke my thoughts to her. It was my nephew's birthday, Ethan.

I told her through Whatsapp that I liked her. That I liked her back then because of some reasons like, She went through hell in her relationships yet she stood up, etc. and my curiosity ate me.

I told her I might not feel uncomfortable talking to her because she already knew my secret that I like her. Then Kristine said, Bakit naman?

I asked her am I not likeable? She answered me, it's not that I am not likeable, she also said that she knew that I am a good person, and she reminded me that it was wrong. I told her I have no intentions of ruining her and Kamille. I just wanted her to know that I liked her, period.

Then we played a game, shared some secrets and stuff, because I started to trust her na.

Then as days goes by, we play constant and we talk mostly.

She even shared to me the time she went to sleep over with workmates because Kamille and her had an argument. We had our first Video Call in Messenger the next day before she go to work. Send me photos that I asked her too cause I am not seeing her lately.

We still talk even at her work hours, I listen to her work rants and stuff.

Then came an issue of this gaming headset that she wants to give me without malice as claimed by Kristine. Joan did not like the gesture. So, we talked secretly and talk about it. We agreed not to pursue the headset anymore.

December came and yah, we still play. I found out she resigned at her work.

I had an issue with a basher of my page, so I have to deactivate my gaming page and make an investigation who the hell is she.

So my attention draws closer to the game itself and also Kristine. and stop streaming for a while, She decided to install the Global server instead of using Garena for months because she is running out of VPN's to use for free anymore.

I felt like we have this kind of understanding where she gets me. And she agreed. But sometimes she sends me mixed signals.

I came to a point where I became confused.

I felt the need to share this because I am having these "time bomb" like feelings that if I cannot find a way to consult it to other person i am gonna explode and became clingy at her.

So I brought my classmate back in High School named Annarie, who prefers to call herself Pacsy. We play in Garena sometimes and we chat in Messenger too. I shared her my thoughts about Kristine. And I decide to her to be like the observant of the girl I liked if she feels the same way to me.

There are times that I felt jealous whenever there is a guy flirting with her on the game and sometimes she makes me feel that she is jealous too when I do the same.

And then came February, we had an argument.

My thoughts went confused, concern at Pacsy, and at the same time jealous.

Felt bad because we made a promise to each other to be open and not keep secrets. But things fail.

I broke down and cried.

Then came Joan who confronted Kristine, and Pacsy without me knowing it because I was asleep when Joan hacked my phone. I lost all of my phone datas and apps.

And I did not like it. Joan should have talked the proper way but instead choose to hysterical all the time.

She discovered that, there is something between me and Kristine based on our exchange of chats in Messenger.

Since I'm woman enough to admit my fault, I did.

I admit that I fell to Kristine.

Joan blocked her in my Messenger first.

And next is IG.

CODM became an exception.

It was a week of pain and confusion and discoveries.

I have discovered that She admits that she felt the same way for me.

That she doesn't want to lose me too.

That I am important to her, that she thinks of me by the time we lost our communication for like a week and more.

She was the one who initiated a contact.

I knew in my heart she wants it.

Let me just have a detailed flashback:

FEB 17: That night, we played, me, Pacsy and her. Dhanush invited me. I said sorry to them. And Kristine drop this line that it will be the last time she will talk to US. So I distant myself.

FEB 18: It was like 5pm, I called Pacs and I apologized to her of what happened and I cried because of what I feel in my situation. I told her, it was so hard to tell Joan that I fell in-love with her friend.

I asked Pacs not to update Kristine about me anymore because I wanna distant too.

FEB 18: 10:30 PM Pacsy texted me that Ktine asked her a favor to tell me that Joan is attacking her on messenger. I just said, it was noted.

FEB 19: Vertigo attacked me.

FEB 26: I received an XP rewards from Kristine. Just to be clear, giving away XP rewards is customized, you are the one who will choose who to give it to. And with that gesture, I knew in my heart she wants to talk and play with me. The past days Dhanush has been chatting me whenever he is playing with her. I told Dhanush I cant because she does not want to talk to me anymore and I wanna keep my distance too.

FEB 27-28

I played in CODM that night and I message her in the app, and invited her to play. Just a duo. At first she said, "Hi joan." then I told her, "Hindi nuh, hahaha." Then we play both off mic. And I notice she is messaging me while playing and says she misses me. "imy" I asked her "Kumusta" etc. At first I did not want to answer back I miss her too, because I am doubtful that it might be Kamille who's playing, but again, I knew it was her. So I told her, I miss this duo. Then she replied ":(".

Its like we had 2 games only, I said goodbye yet she tried to invite me again for another round for a squad with Dhanush but I have to leave the app and so I did.

FEB 29

We talked in CODM Global server app. We did not play instead we just talked. She told me she created an account in deviantart.com which is a website for artists, I actually have account there for art purposes. However she cant find my account there so I suggest how about Twitter. She opened up to me that day, as I remember, she apologized to me of the things she have done like how she cracked my secret to Joan etc. She said she does not normally say sorry to anyone yet she is doing it for me that day. I asked her if, "hindi ba kapani paniwala kapag ako ang nagsabi na mahal kita?"

She answered, she feels things the same way. She understands that my IG stories was for her mostly, and I claimed it. She told me she was scared to lose communication with me, that sometimes she feels like she's using another person just to get connected at me. And I get what she is saying. She said that she felt something for me.

I am sorry but the words we shared felt like... there is something.

Days have gone by, We played again. However I am hiding it.

I made a letter for her by using a website app. I told her everything there.

We also both made a Twitter account. Obviously, we missed each other.

[subetagossip]

Context for you

Hello. Regarding the leaked convos I would like to clarify some things and give context.

First of all, I used to care a lot if people overpriced my stuff. Now I don't. I really don't. Do whatever you want. What annoyed me about Nightshadez was her behavior towards Peculiar when she asked to buy the item back. While I know you are free to do whatever you want with an item you bought, I appreciate courtesy. And most of you didn't see the convo exchange between them so there's that too. I don't appreciate this user's behavior. That's all.

Second of all it's funny how people get shocked when they see users venting and ranting about others. Like you guys never did it lol. Surprise. Everyone is human and it's normal to complain to your friends about someone you dislike.

I think it's a bit hilarious that y'all are so mad at us talking privately while it's super acceptable that someone we trusted leaked the convo. Not surprised at that either.

And lastly, I never complained that pizza didn't allow me to slot. I made a reference about this. In fact when I asked to slot on those antlers I had no idea they had changed their UN. Had I known I wouldn't really have asked for a slot. I didn't have an issue either when their friend politely explained it was an important release to them and they didn't feel comfortable by me having a copy. That's 100% understandable.

By the way it's ironic have pizza tell me that I have only been trash to them given that the only time I ever talked to them was years ago when they complained to me about me not wanting to add her to a PRIVATE group mind you. That's old crap that happened but I still have the smails as evidence of how trash they were to me actually lmao. I unblocked them long time after that went down because I thought they had changed. But after they acted extremely entitled on ale's server about slotting on a bow, nah bruh. I never even talked to them properly. I blocked them because I dislike their behavior.

So yeah that's it. Context for y'all. I'm not sorry for having said what I said. I'm human and I dislike some people which is why I block them. And I do rant and vent too because that's what we all do.

Whoever dislikes me for talking to my FRIENDS in private then please do me a favor and block me. Thanks!

[ain-t-bovvered]

JiBcon 2019

Hi everyone, welcome to my early recollection of the “what the fuck is going on” JiB convention.

So as I hope many of you know I’m Italian, but I live in the North ( lol long live the North y’  all, it’s the best I guarantee, I mean I always miss the north so much every time I leave). Anyway, Rome is like not even an hour flight from when I am so I didn’t even felt the flight nerves because it was over even before I could say: “ fuck I wanna land already!”.

[Listen I have a lot to say, this is going to be real long so get ready]

1ST DAY, 17th May

I arrived in Rome Friday at noon and went straight to my hotel, not the Hilton because.... lol, it was a hotel like 5min away ( but still they charged me 8€ like....yeah alright forgot I’m in Italy, not that surprised).

Took a shower and then went running around the city to see as much as possible since the next two days I wouldn’t be able to. My feet were destroyed btw.

Whatever forgot to eat until I came back to the hotel at 8pm or something, fell into bed and lights out. I say lights out as in I switched off the lights, my eyes were wide open because... FUCKING JIB TOMORROW !!.

2ND DAY, 18th May.

Got up at the healthy time of 6am *groans in Italian* and got ready as best as my trembling hands could. I also tried to curl my hair but the second I got out and on the train, they were already fucked, THANKS ROME HUMIDITY.

Went to meet @purpleskiesandcherrypies in her room and, to quote her: “sHe’s sO ShoRT AnD CuTe “  y’ all. I was already in love ok? Nat babe, I love you and you are my queen ok? 

Anyway, we kept pacing in the room not knowing what to do and repeating that this was a really bad idea and fuck this shit and we are not fucking ready and why did we do this thing to ourselves,  for a couple of stressing minutes,  like two normal healthy people right? and then we were like....we should like.....go downstairs and get our passes right? should we? NOPe....yeah ok, we should. So yeah grabbed the passes and stood in line to enter the con premises. 

So my first thing on the schedule was Jensen Photo Op and like...* nervous laughter* why did I do that to myself? Anyway, Nat had an angel pass so she was in a different line but still beside me for a part of the wait, she went in first and came outside to scream at my face and like....thank you Satan I do not need this??? Then my turn came quickly ( had a Demon pass), too quickly for I was not ready when I entered the room and HE STOOD RIGHT THERE SMILING AND LOOKING FLY AS HELL LIKE AN ASSHOLE. 

Jensen OP: How is it?

first of all, YOU may think you are ready, bitch let me tell ya, YOU FUCKING AIN’T, so don’t even kid yourself, just stay in line and wait for your death, that’s what it is. AND YES, it’s really quick so try to stay focused on him ( LOL SURE ). My turn came and I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot and I think he saw that because his smile grew and I SWEAR IT WAS CRINKLE CITY RIGHT UP THERE and I almost choked. I mean...he’s TALL OK, and his eyes were darker than I thought but I guess with all the edits of his pictures we see online one can get a very different idea of reality. His BEARD THO, it was lighter than his hair, almost looked red and so full and nicely trimmed, and I was like blinded by his smile because fuck that was bright.Also....Y’ ALL, JENSEN IS SLENDER, he’s so slender, I’m so used to him being in so many layers that seeing him in person and with just a jean shirt was a shock. I must say, Jensen is Jensen and Dean is Dean ( as in physically) I mean, I could tell and I loved it, it changed my grasps on both of them so much.  I tried to calm down to AT LEAST say a couple of words ( I was not expecting much from me honestly) but it went like this: 

me: Hi!

Jensen: Heeey!

me: is just a hug alright?

Jensen: sure thing.

He opened his arms and I just went in ( being respectful to not like lean on him like a leech, but yeah he pulls you closer if he’s in the mood), and oh god he’s warm and soft and smell like sunshine, well I smelled something sweet and spicy but the sweet part could honestly come from all the girls he hugs, in a way you could say he smell like us, lol. Like Nat, I didn’t even see the photographer at all I just look ahead and smiled, I didn’t think to smile, there was no need I was radiant, and I felt his hand covering most on my shoulder.

It was over before I could even realize what the fuck was happening. Anyway, we pulled away slowly enough that my hand lingered on his arm, and yes it was amazing. I said: “thank you so much” probably with tears in my eyes, idk (but  I know myself I probably was ) and he smiled sweetly and said, “no, thank youuu” and I was like.... lol ok I can’t, and went out the room walking on clouds. 

I’m gonna put something to cover my face in case this photo goes around Pinterest or some hell site similar.

let me tell you, I didn’t notice how tight he held me, but both his arms engulfed me. When I went to get the pic later I almost squealed because, LOOK AT HIS FACE, HE LOOKS SO CUTE AND HAPPY AND I DIED OK, Nat can confirm my freak out.

Anyway, done with that I needed a break, we both did honestly, and we went to sit for the panels. The first one was J2 panel, and awe I was not really ready to see him again, but YAY got my first glimpse of Jared and YEEEES BEARD AND BEANIE, love it.  You’ll all see the Panels everywhere so I’m not gonna be here and tell you everything that they said and did. But Jared talked about his new puppy and Jensen tried to open a bottle of unicorn wine and tried to punch the cork in and drink it ( insert many Italian offended sounds ), then he used heavy Texas accent and said Yeee-haw and I didn’t think I needed to hear that as much as I did, like....YES PLEASE AGAIN.

Anyway panel ended and they exit the stage, and boi Misha came up.

NOW LISTEN, first glimpse at Misha too.....and FUCK HE’S PRETTY OK?, HE’S SO PRETTY HE BLINDED ME DEAD FROM THE STAGE. The crowd just went B-A-L-L-I-S-T-I-C. Lots were leaving because they had Jared op and Jensen auto, and Misha was like: “Where are you, people going? SEND THEM BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE JARED AND JENSEN!”.  Misha had a red jacket and a dark polo under it, boi I was already sweating.

Misha was his normal inappropriate self as always and I love it every time. Just let Misha be Misha y’ all, because if you don’t he gets in a bad mood, like I think happened the next day. 

Also, next game with friends while watching con’s videos: DRINK every time MISHA SAYS “UM”, OR JARED’S TOUCH HIS HAIR.

happy alcoholic coma y’ all.

I and Nat were not sitting near each other, I was far back but we texted and LOL, something like “what Misha smoked, I want it “ and “ he’s so pretty I wanna cry” and “Misha looks delicious” went back and forth, so everything was going GREAT.

Next, I got the autos from Misha and Jensen. And I wasn’t expecting much because yeah ...they are autos and they go fast. I was pleasantly surprised because you could look at them the whole time you are in line, and it’s a nice view alright. Jensen was already sitting and signing and I was in line for Misha’s, who was not there yet, and fucking surprise bitch, he entered the room and passed right beside me, at arm's length, and .....* takes a deep breath* ...I can’t even begin to describe him, like...I can’t. 

He’s tall, like...it’s true he’s the smallest in height but, fuck he’s still that tall and he’s so??? well??? built??? like....he’s massive and sturdy and like I think he has his own gravity because damn I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. And he was so tan and glowing, and FUCK HIS SMILE WAS SO SOOTHING AND I MELTED. He had a bit of a shadow beard that looked so good. Anyway, I get ready to die because my heart was pounding, I got up to him and same thing as always:

Misha

me: Hi Misha.

Misha: Hello! *smile*

me internally: AAAAAAAAH 

He signed with a little heart and gave back the card and he like kept eye contact and I said the weakest “thank you” ever, smiling like an idiot again, probably scrunching my nose because I do that, and he smiled his lopsided smile and winked ( like an asshole because COME ON HOW DARE U DO THAT TO ME). And let me tell you about his eyes. 

Jensen and Jared have real nice eyes, don’t get me wrong, but I found out that they are a bit different from what I had expected, not disappointed because DAMN, but yeah, different. 

Misha’s tho?....pictures don’t make him justice on any level. HE’S STUNNING! STUNNING! His eyes are really that light blue, and in person, they are even more beautiful, breathtaking, I felt like he was staring at my soul.

Next up was Jensen’s auto, stared the whole line, and UUUUUGH he changed his shirt in a brown t-shirt and you could see all his bracelets and necklace and he looked GOOOOOD. 

Jensen

Same as before I said “Hello!” and he smiled and said “Hi” while chewing like usual and god he’s cute ok. His auto was a bit faster and I knew I couldn’t say much but I tried while he was signing. I just said “Thank you for everything Jensen” and he smiled while signing and thanked me and then I was floating out the room already.

Then I and Nat went to have some overpriced salads, which we didn’t even finish because, first of all....we were fangirling too much over ...well, everything, second, not that hungry.

Lunch time’s over, I went to get all the autos available, and I was giddy like a schoolgirl, Rob, Adam and Rich y’ all.

Rob 

He’s striking, and he’s so sweet and looks so delicate and his voice is so warm and welcoming and I wanted to cry how cute he was. I said Hello Rob, and how he was doing, and then I unblocked and told him I hoped he was having a great time and he got so happy and shiny eyes and said he was having a fantastic time and asked me the same. I wanted to keep talking but again, like Nat’s said you don’t wanna keep the line waiting so I just smiled and say thank you so much and bye. Oh and heart on his sign too.

Adam

He was a treasure and I asked him the same question because hey maybe I finally got the hang of this shit, so they all were having a great time.

Rich

and then, of course, he messed with me. He was so excited and hyperactive he almost made a babbling mess out of me, ALMOST. He asked me from where I was and I said, I’m Italian, and what does this asshole do?, lol tries to speak Italian.

Rich: *in bad Italian*  customization? 

me: ???????

Rich to his handler: how do you say that?

me and his handler trying to spell the word: PERSONALIZZAZIONE. Hilarious. Well, he got the hang of it fairly quickly and gave me back the card, unsigned I was like...?????? 

Rich: you give me that back and ask me.

me: OH  *probably blushing like an idiot* 

Rich: Hello!

me: HI! *hands the card* to Giulia, please?

Rich: Sure love!

me: *giggles like a schoolgirl* thank you! 

Rich: no thank you for the practice!

me: you are welcome 

I got in line for Jared’s but he was running late and I had his photo Op next, so I got out to get in line for that because it was the last solo one. I thought yeah alright I already broke the ice with Jensen, how worse can this be?

let me tell ya....that bitch that said that right there? LOL, SHE’S AN IDIOT. DON’T LISTEN TO HER...EVER.

Found some girls from my hometown too, lol the world sure is small, we fangirled shamelessly, but I got the feeling one of them was not a Misha fan at all and ...lol nope ok, but they were nice either way.  

Jared OP: how is it?

Again let me tell ya, not fucking ready. I get into the room and Jesus Fucking Christ he looks MAJESTIC, MAJESTIC I tell you. He had a dark blue jacket and a shirt with some flower or something on it, the beard was distracting. He looked in such a good mood, which I was glad, no beanie, which I was also glad ( love it but I wanted that mane free). Anyway, do I need to tell you he’s tall? yeah well, he’s taller than tall. I walked up to him, smiling. AND FUCK THAT WAS A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. He had some light behind him that shining through his hair made him look like an actual Jesus with a halo, and y’ all I’ve been blessed. His eyes looked so bright, and this strange combination of almost green-hazel created by the lights on his face. and y’ all his beard was so thick and luscious...YES 

me: Hi!

Jared: Hi Sweetie

Me internally  NO NOOOOOO.

Me: Is just a hug alright?

Jared: Absolutely, come here ( or bring it, I’m not sure I was still mentally screaming)

Anyway, the moment he saw me he crunched down, and he crunched down so low that I almost got offended LOL, but I mean I needed to be in the frame right? His hugs are BONE CRUSHING, he hugs you so tight and squeezes too, it almost hurt, felt his bearded chin on my head too, it was amazing.

We both pulled away slowly and as I said “Thank you sooo much “  he slid his hand down my arm and squeezed it, again, almost hurting me, and said “thank you” with the sweetest smile.

Then we saw the last panels, Misha’s and after Jared’s that closed the day.

Nat and I went on a food and alcohol mission to the Spanish steps and then threw our coins in the Trevi fountains so we can get back next year too. Got to chat more, got roasted about my late car and my new one, like.... thanks Nat, love ya too. Took a taxi back because lol Italian transports ...are AmAziNG, and then shower and crashed the bed at like 1 am?

3RD DAY, 19th May

...Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy...

got my pass and I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit the JiBcon.

Before I leave, pack my suitcase and all of my shit

‘cause when I leave for the Hilton I ain’t coming back.

Reaching Nat again and she’s freaking out about the Jensen M&G, which I’m like...LOL CAN’T RELATE.

First Panel is Jared’s and he’s gracious and funny as always, but also he said that for him it was 2am and jet lag was starting to hit hard. Nat went to take her Op and she wrote to me that Misha was wearing a leather jacket and a Kiss t-shirt and LISTEN CAN HE NOT? Anyway, Jared’s panel ended and I made my way to take Misha’op and, oh boi the line started right where he was gonna walk by to get to the room and I was first row. So he passed by and , like the dumb fangirl I am I stick out my hand, and YA WE HELD HANDS FOR A HOT SECOND and it was great, 10/10 would do again. ( Nat roasted my ass again ).

I was in line and I noticed that I would lose Alex and Matt’s autos, but I couldn’t get out Misha’s op because the other one was at the same time as Jared autos, which I couldn’t lose because the next one was during the Cockles’ panel and I’m not losing that shit. 

Misha’s OP: How is it?

Ok, I could write you papers about how damn pretty Misha is. I’m almost sad that photos don’t really make him justice, I guess machines can’t handle all that beauty. And although he looked like a snac, he also seemed tired, so I was already like....aw shit. I get into the photo space and he looks like he’s in a good mood anyway, and I can’t stop staring and smiling like an idiot as he takes all the photos, I mean I was standing where he had to look for the picture but it also looked like he was looking at me ( shut up, let me dream), anyway eye contact again, it was magical. Until it was my turn.

I walked up to him and .....LOL.

I didn’t know where to focus. He’s massive, I didn’t know where his fucking chest stopped and his face is also big and wide and those eyes that pierce through you? well, I was lucky that I managed to babble something. 

Now, this is where it gets a little ... well, you’ll see.

Misha: Hello!

me: Hi Misha! ( probably in a tiny squeaky voice, because ...Misha) Is a hug alright? ( I went with the same formula because I know it’s alright, but asking if it is,  seems like the polite thing to do, like asking for consent)

Misha: Yep

and then he wrapped me and I’m like, this is great, he smells so good, like spicy and very manly but also fresh, so it was not overwhelming. Then, again leaning back to thank him and he nodded, winked and all his face scrunched and again that cute crooked smile. So I was like, ok he looked tired but he seemed still in a good mood. But then I got hand on my photo and ...I mean, not gonna lie I was a bit bummed out because he’s not really smiling. So I was giving myself a headache thinking if I did or said something wrong, and I know I didn’t but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I didn't look at the photo for some time until I let Nat see it. And yeah, while he may not be smiling that much, he still looked soft, we both came to the conclusion, also because we saw more pics of the same session, he wasn’t hardcore smiling the whole time. Then we saw more of the Jensen’s photo of this last day and he too isn’t smiling in all of them, I mean, they all looked so tired. 

To joke about it , just to make me feel a bit better and less bitter ( because I have no reason to be, they tired and they are entitled to be tired, I’m just thankful that they were there), I said that I thought I was getting a Misha OP and instead I got a Castiel’s one, like: why is Castiel here? Did another French Mistake happen? which....yeah fair.

The last thing I needed to get was Jared’s auto. So I went to get in line really early because I had nothing else to do and the room was FREEZING, I suspected because of Jared, which I get it, I prefer to be cold than hot and sweaty since I’m like him a sweat a lot with minimum effort. 

Again they let us in before Jared arrived so we were all standing in line when he walked in. And AGAIN, walked right beside me, and I saw people respecting boundaries and staying put in their spot, but some just raised their hands and Jared gladly high-fived people who wanted, so who am I to deny that to myself?. So I shoved my shyness aside and timidly raised my hand too. But lol I’m short af so he had to bend a bit for me so I would not step forward ( bodyguards were strict as they should )  and we smacked hands with a really nice “CLAP”. It was amazing, and yes he smiled again, Jared was in a really good mood all con and I’m glad he was having a good time ( at least that’s the impression I had). Jared wore a dark green plaid shirt and a black t-shirt, black jeans and black beanie and he looked the softest boi ever.

Jared

Anyway, my turn to get my auto and I went in slow because I wanted to at least say a few words, and I did.

Jared: Hi!

me: Hi Jared! How are you?

Jared: I’m awesome, thank you, and how are you?

me: I’m great. Thank you for everything.

Jared with his sweet puppy eyes, and beanie, and a soft sweet warm smile just stared at me for a quick second and mouthed the sweetest “thank you”, lightly touching his chest. I smiled and nodded and went on my merry way outside the room, AND THEN I DIED.

So at this point, I had finished, I waited for Nat while watching in awe my autos collection 

Before the last panels, I managed to get lots of glimpses of everyone again. Jensen as he got out the m&g room, and then all of the cast as they walked out to get the group picture with the Jib10 people. Then it was time for the panels. Jason played and sang for us as we waited for Jared and Misha panel, and I mean...Boy’s got a real fucking nice voice live, I recorded two songs, Stand by Me and Perfect Spot. 

And then the panel started.

GOD THIS PANEL. I had tears from laughing. Misha run out the room, Jared followed him, and the bodyguards running after them panicking. I CAN’T. And then Misha did some accents and I died again ( drink every time I wrote I died). Jared was on FIRE.

OH, before I forget, I laugh like Jensen, the leaning back laugh. Yeah I do, it’s great, never noticed like that before, I mean I’m Italian so I move a lot when I talk, it makes sense that when I burst into a laugh, I laugh with my whole body, so now y’ all know.

Matt and Alex's panel was also really nice. I finally got to see some Alex! He’s so cute, he’s a treasure, I love him so much and ...he’s so different from Jack like you can’t confuse them AT ALL. I wish him the best. ( Also he said that Lord Tyrion will surpass him in popularity and I agree ).

Then the long wait for the Cockles panel. Nervewracking becasue Nat needed to go take her flight and I was wishing she could at least get a glimpse of them before leaving. Well, we all know how that panel went anyway.

I got out for a couple of minutes to say goodbye with Nat and I wanted to cry becasue she’s the sweetest and I love her and she deserves the best. We didn’t say goodbye but a “see you”, that’s what we hope. 

and ...that’s all folks!

If you have questions, maybe I missed something, ASK AWAY.

for now, this is the post, maybe I’ll edit it when more things came to mind.

[thismightbewynn]

Wahoo, saw some of @deniigi‘s lightening prompts and the little impulse gremlin in my head yanked my chain and here we are, let’s go wahoo!!!  I did go a little hamwild with it though so big oopsies there but also I regret nothing and so I will not apologize!  Very long though, so I’mma slam dunk some of this under a read more.

-

“Foggy,” he nudged lightly.  “Foggy.  Foggy, Foggy.”

The accused raised his brow.

“What?”

“Take it back, Foggy.”

And back down the brow goes.  Up went the corners of his lip.

“Naahhh.”

This guy.  Ugh.

“You’re disgracing me, Foggy,” he said, without even a little bit of pouting.  Not even draping himself over a door frame or anything.  Certainly no theatrics.  “Slandering my name.”

“Denial is just the beginning, Mattias Murdock,” Foggy said into his cup, as if covering his smile would work on a blind man’s perception.

“My name is not Mattias.”  A pause.  “And I’m not old.  Take it back.”

“Okay, Matteo.  I believe you.”

That wasn’t taking it back.  That was active disbelief and dismissal.  These were things he could not have; not on his dignity, and certainly not on what little was left of his life.

He had little life left to live, not because he was old, but because he was going to die young, burning out fast and dancing forever.  Probably in the river somewhere, actually, but his poor life choices weren’t the issue here.  The issue here was Foggy’s refusal to withdraw his poor opinions, despite the stellar counterpoints Matt had beautifully presented just now.

It’s whatever, though.  It’s fine.  If his word wasn’t enough for this argument, then he’ll just find someone else to support him.  It can’t be any harder than finding a witness for court.

-

Spidey was doing a wonderful job.  Great work, really.  He didn’t know what was going on, since he came with zero context and bags of ulterior motive, but it sounded like general crime fighting with a hint of reptile.  It also sounded like he was just wrapping up.

He did something that was probably a salute.  He couldn’t keep track, nowadays.  Spidey was constantly trying out different salutes from a list he’d compiled from all four corners of the world wide web.  He was on a quest to find the ones best suited to make him look cool and respectable, he explained when Daredevil asked what all the hand waving was about.  He tried out a different one every week because he was weighing the public’s reactions to them.

The public was confused but charmed by it.  Matt, being part of the public by day, was not immune to this effect.  Apparently nobody was.

“I love you, officer.”

He pumped his chest twice and did the salute of the week again.

“I… sure, you too.”

The officer awkwardly imitated him.  Spidey’s heart beamed with joy.

“Well, I gotta go now.  Take care, ¡adios!”  He saluted again before he left.  The officer’s responding heartbeat indicated surprise.  Spidey had likely literally disappeared again.

“Why are you here?” he whispered, without really whispering at all.  He was awful at it, despite attempts to teach him otherwise.  He’d get the hang of it sooner or later, regardless.

“Just conducting a private survey,” he said, turning around, cane rhythmically tapping against the sidewalk.

“If this is about your costume, you look like if Shadow was designed to imitate Knuckles instead of Sonic.”

Matt had no idea what any of those words meant in that order.  He made no plans to understand or pretend to understand.  There were more important things at hand.

“Spider-Man,” he started.  “What was your first impression of me?”

“Honestly?  Cool but scary.  I thought you were gonna accuse me of murder and I’d be, like, yessir that sounds about right.”

“And now?”

“Uh, can I say something first?”

“Go ahead.”

He paused in thought, carefully chewing on the offered silence that was to fuel his thought process.  That was good.  Thoughtfulness and honesty was important for testimonies.  They were also important in general, but right now, he was looking for a testimony, so whatever.

Spidey’s heart beat steadily.

“I know it’s easier said than done, but you shouldn’t care too much about what other people think.  I mean, obviously it’s important, but I think being able to back yourself up is just as important.  Like, it’s great if other people believe in you, but you gotta do it too.  Self esteem, you know?”

Aww.

Useless for what he came for, but.

Aww.

“That’s great,” he said.  “But not what I’m looking for.”

Spidey sighed something tired.

“Well?” Matt pushed.

“Honestly, you’re a grumpy old man.”

That was worse than useless.  That was actively detrimental to his case.

“Wish you weren’t grumpy, though, but maybe old people are just like that.”

Said the kid who put way too much research into salutes.  And also, he’s not old.  Goodbye.

-

“The fuck are you asking me for?”

The younger the individual, the more valuable their opinion to how old he wasn’t.  If he asked someone older than him, of course they wouldn’t call him old out of bias.  If he asked someone of the same age, he would sacrifice what little was left of his dignity between them.  It had to be one of the wee ones.

“I’m conducting a private survey.”

Wade squinted.  Matt pretended not to notice.

“I’m not asking you.  I’m asking Eleanor.”

“You know everyone’s old to her, right?”

What--

How did he--

Whatever, it’s not important.  His opinion doesn’t matter right now, he’s not a wee one.

“Knock yourself out, dude.”

Eleanor Camacho had too much brutal honesty in her.  It was borderline rude.  His heart was bruised and she didn’t even give a shit.  She had an elaborate, extravagant torture system thinly disguised as a training regimen for her small brigand of action figures.  Little did they know, they were not saviors, but puppets meant to wreak havoc for their small, merciless god.  Anything or anyone who interrupted her was the scum of the earth, and was treated as such.

Of course her opinion was skewed.  She was upset.  People generally don’t say the nicest of truths when they’re upset.

This wasn’t working.  He needed to find someone in a good mood.

-

MILES: hey, did i say something wrong??

MILES: whatever it is i’m sorry

MILES: nevermind, foggy just told me you’re having an aging crisis

MILES: good to know you’re okay though!!

MATT: I am not having an aging crisis and Foggy is a liar. And yes I am perfectly okay thank you for noticing.

MILES: don’t worry dude, you’ll get over it!

MATT: Miles I just said I’m okay.

MILES: i freak out every birthday because growing means more responsibilities, but that’s a crisis that just runs out after i have some cake

MILES: and like, you’re done growing, so that’s it! these are all the responsibilities you have and you already know how to handle them. so i guess my advice is to get some cake

MILES: or something that is not cake, i don’t know what your tastebuds like. maybe you like to eat raw fish i don’t know

MATT: Miles, I appreciate what you are saying, but that is not the problem and you are not helping.

MILES: what’s the problem then?

MILES: is it because foggy said you’re old? because i’m sorry but he’s right

MILES: actually i’m not apologizing for telling the truth. you’re old, man

MATT: I’m going to block you.

MILES: you always say that but you never do it and honestly i don’t think you know how

MILES: you know why that is? it’s because you’re old and that means you’re technologyphobic

MILES: don’t worry, peter is old too but he’s not technologyphobic because he’s a nerd. you can ask him how to block me, i won’t mind! i just hope you can figure out how to unblock me on your own lol

MILES: i won’t judge if you have to ask peter how to unblock me too, you old people gotta stick together

MILES: no response? gone to ask peter how to use the youth gadgets your old man brain cannot comprehend i see

-

MATT: Miles is becoming too bold for his own good.

PETER: did he call you old? That’s okay he calls me old too, it’s like the opposite of making fun of how young he is.

PETER: also i heard about your aging crisis from him and honestly? Good luck dude

That was a private survey.  It was supposed to be private.  He remembered saying it was a private survey. 

PETER: may says that you can defeat feeling old by acknowledging that time passes and figuring out why being old feels like a personal attack to your emotional security

This was the worst.  This was exactly why that survey was private.  He made a silent pact to himself not to ask Miles anything ever again.

MATT: I see where Miles gets his bad influence from.

PETER: don’t blame me when miles gets all his advice from may

PETER: he says mine is faulty and full of holes which i guess is fair but like ouch you know?

MATT: No, I don’t.

MATT: Also, while I have you here, what was your first impression of me?

PETER: i’m not participating in this bye feel better soon

MATT: Peter answer the question

MATT: Peter hey

MATT: PETER

-

He was mourning the ongoing death of his youth and vitality.

“Are…  Are you okay?”

SAM.  SAMUEL.  DEAREST SAMUEL BLINDSPOT CHUNG.  FINALLY, A YOUTH HE CAN TRUST.

He immediately abandoned his mourning activities.

“Sam,” he said, with much urgency, leaning his weight against his palms on the desk.  Sam’s spine straightened to attention.

“Yeah?”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Uh.  I don’t know, mostly just scared shitless?  But also really, really excited.”  A pause.  “And then mostly respect after that.”

Good, good.  No mention of old age.

“And now?” he continued eagerly.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh.”  Sam creeped backwards.  “Uhhhhhhh.  You know what?  I’m just gonna.  Go.  Think about my answer.  And then come back later when I have it.”

NO.  SAM.  COME BACK.  UGH.

Matt sunk in his chair again, stuffing his face into his desk to hide his misery from the world.

Foggy came in.  Sam did a little dance with his head bouncing around behind Foggy’s back, trying to discreetly figure out what was going on.  He was failing at both.

The root of the problem leaned on the doorframe.  The man who watered that root was covering his smile with a mug, like it actually hid anything.

“You okay, buddy?”

“Fuck,” Matt bemoaned to the wood.  “I’m old.”

"That's what this is about?" Sam muttered to himself in the background.

“If it makes you feel any better, so am I.”

It didn’t, but it would if Foggy knew how to block people.

-

Thanks for reading <333 

Also, clarification: old age is mattphobic on account of the fact that having crunchy bones makes it hard to break other people’s not-crunchy bones.  Dementia?  Ain’t ever heard of her, that a new baddie or something?

Also also, I think Matty here has communication skills but like, he’s not good at using them when he’s being fueled by spite and selfish deeds or whatever lmao.

Anyways, have a good one !!  (This is also on the ao3 btw, if you wanna go check that out for whatever reason)  

lol (lots of love)!!!!

[bluieeeee]

You Stole Her

“That’s because you’re here if you want to know” Jonah snaps out with quite possibly the most emotion Cyrus had ever seen from him. Jonah quickly moves toward the stairs as Cyrus asks, now worried, “what is it?” “Ask him!” He says whipping around to point at TJ before storming up the stairs and out the door. Cyrus turns on TJ who looks as confused as Cyrus feels “what did you do?”

TJ asks Jonah what he did wrong and it leads to secrets coming out. Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16973295

TJ was looking down at his phone smiling to himself as he thought back to the events of his time at the park. Cyrus had left not long before, moments later texting TJ that he unblocked him(Which TJ had to teasingly act offended about) which led to exchanging more insults back and forth.

He didn’t notice the girl walking towards him until it was too late, they bumped shoulders causing his phone to fall from his hands onto the grass. “I’m so sorry” He started as he leaned down to grab his phone, luckily unmarked by the fall. When he straightened up the girl made a fist and circled her chest. For a moment TJ was confused before it clicked.

“Oh!” TJ racked his brain for a moment trying to remember the minimal sign language he learned in grade school. He semi-awkwardly places a hand in a thumbs up position on top of his other flattened hand and brings it toward himself before repeating the motion she had done. “My fault, I’m sorry,” he says as he signs it.

She looks surprised for a moment before pointing to TJ, tapping the side of her forehead with a bent hand, and spinning two fingers around one another, “You know sign?” TJ understood it as.

TJ smiled and held up his hand pinching his fingers close together, “a little.” He pushed a hand out towards her before stacking his middle and pointer fingers of both hands and moving the top ones up and down them.

The girl looked confused and moves her hands forward and to the sides in front of her. TJ repeats the motion of moving his fingers. When the girls confused expression does not change he pulls out his phone and types the question “What’s your name?”

The girl laughs and mouths “Oh” before spelling out L-I-B-B-Y with her hands in front of her. She pulls her own phone out of her pocket then and types before showing TJ the screen that reads “You asked my weight lol”

TJ mouth opens as he realizes and does the sign for ‘I’m sorry’ again. Apparently, TJ just can’t get enough of apologizing today, he thinks to himself. She smiles and shakes her head indicating it’s okay before doing the same as TJ had but bouncing the top set of fingers on the bottom instead of moving them up and down, TJ takes note of this as something to remember in the future.

T-J he signs as he says it and is momentarily thankful for his short and easy name.

A little while away Jonah and Andi sit at a bench “So?” Jonah says to her. “Did she say anything about me?” he asks eagerly.

Andi shrugged and looked off to the side, “We mostly talked about crafting.” which wasn't entirely a lie, they did mostly talk about crafting… and how boring Jonah can be.

Jonah gives her an exasperated look “Worst wingman ever,” he says causing her to laugh. He has no idea, Andi thought guiltily. Jonah looked over to the path looking for Libby, Andi guessed. “Are they friends?” he asked, causing Andi to follow his gaze to where Libby stood laughing with… TJ?

Andi scrunched her eyebrows together, “I hope not,” she said, still holding a grudge against him for the gun.

Cyrus had not been expecting to have Jonah over that day but when he texted the group chat sadly that morning announcing that Libby had broken up with him Cyrus offered to hang out as a distraction, so that is how Cyrus was playing Ping-Pong against Jonah in his basement on a random Sunday afternoon.

It hadn’t been until around three in the afternoon when Cyrus received a message from TJ asking if they were still alright to hang out at The Spoon a half hour later. Cyrus had completely forgotten that at the swings the day prior he had made plans to continue catching up the next day over Baby Taters and milkshakes.

‘I totally forgot! I have Jonah over.’ he sent, feeling guilty before having an idea. ‘Want to just come over here instead?’ he added.

‘Sure, when?’

‘Now is fine. We’re in the basement’ Cyrus types out before putting down his phone and meeting eyes with Jonah, ready to hit the ball to start another round.

Cyrus forgot to let Jonah know that TJ was on his way until he heard the door to his basement close. As the door clicked Jonah hit the ball a bit to low, giving Cyrus another point. “Three, Zero!” Cyrus says, “it’s a massacre!”

TJ is now down the stairs and next to Cyrus, putting his hand out for a high five which they pull to bump shoulders. When Cyrus looks back to Jonah though he looks, disappointed? Upset? Cyrus could never read his expressions but he knew this wasn’t a good one.

“I just remembered,” he says nodding a bit too quick, “I’m supposed to be somewhere.”

“Are you upset that I’m winning?” Cyrus asks gleefully. It’s rare that he wins, gotta bask in the glory of it.

“Ooh, I think he is upset!” TJ teases along with Cyrus. Cyrus looks to him smiling before Jonah makes them both look at him when he speaks.

“That’s because you’re here if you want to know” Jonah snaps out with quite possibly the most emotion Cyrus had ever seen from him.

Jonah quickly moves toward the stairs as Cyrus asks, now worried, “what is it?”

“Ask him!” He says whipping around to point at TJ before storming up the stairs and out the door.

Cyrus turns on TJ who looks as confused as Cyrus feels “what did you do?”

TJ shakes his head slightly, “nothing! I don’t know.”

“Well, clearly you did something.”

“If I did, I don’t remember it!”

“Then go ask him!” Cyrus says gesturing toward the stairs. TJ sighs dramatically before walking up the stairs quickly.

Jonah is just getting out the door when TJ gets to the top of the stairs and calls after him, rushing to catch up. Once outside TJ sees Jonah walking hurriedly down the street, hands stuffed in his pockets and shoulders drawn up. Even from this distance, TJ can tell Jonah is upset and tense.

Jonah hadn’t seemed to realized he was being followed so closely behind and was walking at a slower pace, not normal but not as close to running as before. TJ managed to catch up to him about half a block away from Cyrus’s house.

“Jonah!” TJ said as he grabbed Jonah's shoulder causing the other boy to spin around and move away from the touch.

“What do you want?” Jonah asked with an edge to his voice. TJ had never really imagined that Jonah’s voice could sound so angry. He had only ever really heard Jonah’s voice in a light happy tone, other than the one time he had been gasping, asking for help at Cyrus’s Bar mitzvah months prior.

“I want to know what I did wrong this time,” TJ said. Usually, in the past few months everytime someone had been angry at him he at least knew what he did wrong. But this time there was this nagging anxiety that came along with not knowing what was going on or what he did.

“Like you don’t already know,” Jonah said, not harsh but not his regular tone either. TJ’s eyebrows went up and he shook his head conveying I really don’t know. “Libby.”

TJ was even more confused than before. Of course, he remembered the sweet girl from the day prior at the park, but what did that have to do with Jonah? “What about Libby?” TJ asked, sounding as confused as he felt.

“You stole her from me!” Jonah yelled.

“What?” TJ said.

“I saw the two of you talking and laughing yesterday,” Jonah explained, his words coming out quick. “And then she broke up with me the day after. You made her.”

TJ heard the patter of footsteps behind him, Cyrus he guessed. “Why would I do that?” TJ questioned.

“Because you like her?” Jonah said, sounding more like an obvious question than a statement.

“What? I--” TJ said. He, much louder than intended, burst out with “Dude, I don’t even like girls!”

TJ realized what he had said just as he said it. It felt strange saying it so outwardly and loudly, to Jonah Beck of all people at that. It hadn’t even really been a secret. Reed and Lester knew at least, and some boys from the basketball team, but they had figured it out for themselves when the realized the way he talked about and smiled about a certain muffin loving friend of his. But this felt like a bigger statement than that. Maybe this was what “Coming out” was usually like. TJ didn’t really know.

“TJ..” he heard a shocked and soft voice come from behind him, which was when he remembered the patter of feet he had heard moments before. TJ turned from a confused looking Jonah and looked at Cyrus, he was a few feet behind him. His mouth was slightly agape from the surprise but otherwise looked normal. After collecting his senses he gave TJ a reassuring smile that TJ returned before looking back to Jonah.

“What do you mean you don't like girls?” Jonah asked, clearly oblivious. TJ resisted the urge to press a palm to his own forehead.

“Boys.” He said. After noticing that was not a complete sentence he added: “I like boys.”

“Oh!” Jonah exclaimed as it clicked in place. “Oh. Oh okay… so you… don’t like Libby?” He sounded relieved.

“No,” TJ said through a laugh. “But clearly you really do. So maybe you should go talk to her instead of making assumptions on why she broke it off.” TJ suggested.

“I-- Yeah. I’m gonna--” Jonah stumbled. “I’ll do that.” He started to turn and talk away before turning back to TJ to say: “Thanks for the advice. And uh, Thanks for telling me, man.”

TJ smiled at him and nodded as a goodbye before they both turned away. Jonah to head home or to wherever Libby was, TJ to face Cyrus.

Cyrus had a smile on his face “I can’t believe he ditched us for his girlfriend,” He said still smiling up at TJ.

“Ex-girlfriend.” TJ and Cyrus started walking back toward the house side by side. “And who’s fault is that?” Cyrus teased.

“Not mine!” TJ put his hands up as if in surrender. “I’m innocent for once.”

Cyrus laughed and it was music to TJ’s ears. They continued walking back to the house as though nothing had happened, as if TJ hadn’t just loudly proclaimed his sexuality right in front of him and TJ felt a great gratefulness for the other boy. That Cyrus seemed to somehow know that all TJ wanted right now was that reassuring smile and normality. That he didn’t try to force TJ to talk about his feelings.

It was a relief.

[gamemasterr]

Alpha Type?

These past few months have been a complete revelation for me in many ways... one of them is about what’s considered alphalike... In the past I wrote a post about my thoughts on alphas working their asses of at the gym to get attention from faggots and my consideration of it being an effort made for the faggots and thus twisting the whole hierarchy, on that matter comes this story. 

About 4 months ago I moved to another city and since i couldn’t find a place to swim which is usually my go to activity so I dont go down the rabbit hole of a sedentary lifestyle and all the health issues it carries I got myself into one of the best gyms in the city, thats is so close to my new appartment i barely had a choice lol. After a month of my not so regular training routine one of the trainers at the gym cracked a few random jokes with his group about gettng fucked in the ass for money or whatever while i was taking some water. After that with work and college over my head i took a break for about two weeks maybe more in any case during these days i received a ton of messages from this huge guy on grindr no face pic, just the bare torso that almost looked fake... we talked a few times but since he refused to show his face i stop replying. He never stoped texting... 

I got back on the gym and that same afternoon i receive a message again from this guy asking me where i was since he hadnt seen me at the gym lately and he was surprised i was back... a “face or block” message got me what i wanted... he was the guy from the fuck jokes... that week he came by 3 times to suck me off after my training. Then i went back to another one of my college forced skips at the gym and he started demanding my attention which resulted in me blocking him.

I took of the gym at the end of my semester and recently got back... you wouldnt guess who offered me free training and has been begging me to unblock him the past two weeks wouldnt you?

I can’t help but keep thinking that this massive faggot has every chance to fuck anyone he wants... and even surrounded by all those other massive guys at the gym that would happily smash him, he is begging to kneel to me, and i simply can’t find a reason to it other than fags ares fags, alphas are alphas and theres something bigger than muscle bounding him to me. 

The lesson for me is clear: Enjoy the power in your DNA is the only thing you can’t fake even with whatever body you work out to get... faggots can smell it, sense it, it draws them to you. It keeps them coming back. 

[nothesc]

Lol you probably have soooo many prompts but if you get the time please could you write yousana fanfic of Sana watching the Hei Briskeby videos today and her reaction to yousef in them?

Hi!!!

Here’s the fic

I didn’t intend it to be so long and so angsty so I’m sorry for that!!

Hope you like it :D 

———-x———

She wasin her room, trying to study, trying to focus on anything other than the factthat she really needed to talk to her friends but she would have to wait, whenher phone beeped.

Shepicked it up from the bed and unblocked it thinking it was probably a text fromher friends or something like that. But it wasn’t. It was a notification fromYouTube.

She would never, ever, admit it but since shehad discovered her brother and his friends’ YouTube account thanks to Vilde afew weeks ago she had subscribed to it with a random account and had activatedthe notifications so her phone would beep whenever they would post a new video.

Sana could try to convince herself that sheonly watched the videos because she wanted to make fun of her brother, but thatwasn’t the truth. She had actually subscribed to it because he was on them,Yousef was on them. She shook her head thinking about the irony of thesituation. She was doing everything she could to make everyone believe that shewas over him and yet there she was, her heart beating faster and faster on herchest because she was about to watch a video of him.

She opened the video but paused it before itcould start. She stood up and closed her door. Then she closed the window andtook her headphones, there was no way someone was going to catch her watchingthe video.

She sat on the bed and took a deep breathbefore pressing play.

She smiled when she saw the boys acting likethe dorks they were in the beginning and rolled her eyes at her brother’s “interesting”voice while presenting it. She had her phone so close to her face that sheliterally moved backwards on the bed when she saw Yousef approaching the cameraaround second 9. She paused the video trying to calm down, it was just a video,just a silly video, it’s not like he could see her. She shook her head oncemore and pressed play again.

She chuckled at Adam rolling his eyes and Eliassaying “no singing, no singing”, those boys were so dramatic.

But then something caught her attention, ormore accurately, someone caught her attention. And that someone was of courseYousef. He looked right at the camera and then looked away, at the floor, hishead slightly down. He seemed sad, he seemed hurt, he seemed…guilty? Sanafrowned and went back to the second 20 to watch it again, and again, and again,and again. She probably watched those 5 seconds around 10 times but she neededto be sure. He truly seemed sad, was he sad? Was he just bored? What did thatface mean? Maybe it didn’t mean anything.

The video continued with the camera focusing onAdam and then back to all the boys. Now her eyes wouldn’t leave Yousef duringthe rest of the video.

He smiled, or almost smiled, but then he wentback to being serious, looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Until thegame they were playing that day started and he seemed like Yousef again,smiley, adorable, dorky Yousef. As much as it hurt her seeing him happy whenshe was feeling so down, she prefered it that way, she didn’t want to see himsad, she wanted to see him happy.

She found herself smiling while he hummed andsang and danced. She even repeated the bit where he said it was Mutta’s turn,she missed his voice, it had been a week since she had seen him.

Sana laughed at Mutta trying to hum the songand the boys trying to guess it and she chuckled when they started to dance andsing Panda.

But then something changed. She heard a loudsound, like a door that closed. The boys stopped dancing and Elias stopped thesong. He said that the video had to end ‘cause they weren’t alone anymore, hismother and his sister had arrived home. His sister, Sana, had arrived home.

She remembered that day. Her mom and her hadbeen out doing some shopping and when they came back they heard the boys in theliving room. Sana had excused herself and went to her room. She didn’t leave ituntil she was sure they had gone.

But it wasn’t the fact that she had arrivedduring the video what caught her attention, it was Yousef, always Yousef.

All the boys had stopped dancing as soon asthey had heard the door closing but Yousef’s reaction…it was different. His faceliterally dropped, he kept looking at the door as if he was trying to see whothere was, as if he was trying to see her.

Was the door opened when she arrived? Was thereany chance that he had seen her? She closed her eyes trying to remember thatmoment exactly and then it hit her, it was, the door was indeed opened. She didn’tlook into the living room when she passed on her way to her bedroom but thedoor had been definitely opened. That meant he had seen her, she was sure ofit.

She looked down at her phone and went backwardsagain, to the exact moment when she had arrived, watching Yousef’s reaction carefully.She saw his face dropping, his smile fading. He looked at the door trying tosee who had arrived and then…then he turned to the other side of the room, notonly his face, but his entire body turned to face the window like he didn’twant to see her, like he didn’t want to be seen. He kept fidgeting with hishands, his eyes never once looking at the camera. He stayed in that positionuntil the video ended.

She shook her head in disbelief, what was hedoing? Why was he acting like that? Why did he seem sad? No, he shouldn’t besad, he had no right to be sad. He was dating her best friend, he was supposedto be happy, the whole purpose of Sana being miserable was that he and Noorawere happy and together. If he wasn’t happy then why was she suffering? Whatwas all that for?

She tried to calm down, maybe it wasn’t likethat, maybe he wasn’t sad, maybe it was all in her head.

She played the video from the beginning, hereyes focusing only on Yousef. She played it once, twice, three, four, five, sixtimes. She lost the count. But the more she watched it the angrier she got.

It wasn’t fair, he didn’t get to be sad, hedidn’t get to avoid her, he didn’t get to feel hurt. He had flirted with her,he had led her on, he had kissed her best friend and then started dating her.He wasn’t supposed to care about if Sana entered the house or not. He wasn’tsupposed to care about her. He was supposed to be happy with his perfect Norwegiangirl. All of this was supposed to be over so Sana could finally move on. But therehe was, being sad and hurt and even guilty and making Sana believe that maybe,maybe, things weren’t like she thought, maybe she still had a chance.

No.

No she didn’t.

She couldn’t let herself think like that.

She couldn’t let herself hope.

Having hope was what had led her there, to bealone in her room crying.

She wouldn’t allow herself to go through thatagain.

Feeling her heart beating fast on her chest shetook her phone and searched in her contacts list. Yes, she had saved hisnumber. Right after he had called her that Friday afternoon from a few weeksbefore asking her to help Elias, she had saved his number. She tried toconvince herself that she was only saving it in case she needed to contactElias one day, but that wasn’t the reason. She had saved it because she washoping that one day she would use it, that one day they would text each otheragain like they used to.

Maybe one day was today.

She clicked on his name and started to write atext.

“Why? Why are you acting like you’re sad? Whydo you seem like you’re hurt? Who hurt you? Was it me? No, I didn’t hurt you.You hurt me. You kissed her. Why did you kiss her? You’re dating her. Why areyou dating her? You’re supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to be smiling andhaving fun. Why? Why are you being like this? Why?”

She almost pressed the send button but shookher head, she couldn’t send it. She had no right to ask, it was his problem ifhe was sad or not, it wasn’t her position to ask. He didn’t like her, heprobably was sad because of whatever other reason that had nothing to do withher. Again, she was letting her heart confuse her mind.

She started erasing the text.

…

…

She was almost done when her door opened makingher jump. She locked her phone quickly dropping it on the bed.

“Can you knock?” She spat at Elias

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Elias said raising his hands “Ijust wanted to ask you if you wanted to play basketball for awhile”

“I’m busy”

“Come on sis, it’s been a long time since we’vespent time together.” He said “Please?”

She looked at him and sighed. He was right. Maybeshe needed to blow off some steam.

She nodded and followed him outside the roomnot checking her phone once.

There was nothing to check anyway, right? Shehad deleted the whole message before Elias entered the room…or had she?

She didn’t know that, when she wouldreturn to her room a few hours later, there would be a surprise waiting forher.

—————————x————————

OMG I’m really sorry for the angst and for the opened ending but I just got waaay to carried away and I’ve had this idea of Sana sending a message by mistake for so long now and I thought this was the perfect opportunity

Don’t know if this is what you had in mind but I hope you like it and that I didn’t disappoint you

Thank you all for reading♥♥

Edit: part two here

[hyokas]

The Executive Producer of 全职高手 (Quan Zhi Gao Shou/The King’s Avatar)

The executive producer of Quan Zhi Gao Shou, Chen Kun (aka Aloys Chen), appeared in the comments of episode 8 on bilibili.  Perhaps some of you are more familiar with his career as an actor in many Chinese TV dramas.  He’s quite renowned in China and frankly speaking I was very surprised to find out he was the executive producer.

Text: 大家好，我是《全职高手》的动画监制陈坤

Translation: Hi everyone, I’m Chen Kun, the executive producer of Quan Zhi Gao Shou.

Text: 今天来荣耀十区开荒，大家多多指教

Translation: Today I’m starting out fresh in the 10th sever of Glory, please offer me your humble opinions.

Text: 叶神，求组队做新手任务！Ps：我不是治疗

Translation: Please team up with me for novice tasks, Master Ye Xiu!  PS: I’m not a cleric

Text: 这个动作我也做得出来，哈哈

Translation: I can also move like this haha

Text: 求同框，要合影

Translation: Let me be in the same frame as them, I want a photo

Comment from 陈坤Aloys:

▶Hello, this is Chen Kun. Actually, I heard about how Lord Grim has been attracting all the attention in the 10th serve lately, so I came here to test the waters and say hi, please take care of me.  Of course, I will also stay with everyone when the new episodes come out every week and present to you a better Quan Zhi Gao Shou!

Reply from Felix海若门:

▷Huh? Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Reply from 陈坤Aloys:

▷Do you guys have any questions?  Leave them in the comments, there will be replies~

Translator’s rant time:

Can I just say that when I saw his live comment in the video I actually blocked him because I thought he was just a random guy trying to pass off as him??? No seriously I’ve seen this way too many times online.  And then I saw him in the comments and I was like “oh shit, it’s actually him!!” and went back and unblocked him lol.  If you haven’t noticed he’s taking questions in the comments!!  I mean it’s been 10 days since he’s commented and there are already 5000+ replies, but if you guys want to ask him anything you can reply to this post and I’ll try asking him.  Although at this point the probability of receiving a reply from is pretty slim....

[howtogettheshyguy]

howdy lol. thank you. i should've kept my mouth shut. i replied to his "last" msg (it was a little cold/blunt) a few days late and he replied with 1 or 2 words. i sent something back/sorta suggesting hanging out and asked about quarantine/hobbies. i said the whole "hope i'm not bothering you" schpeel and that i'd leave if that was the case. he read my last msgs then unfriended me/deleted my number so that tells me everything, doesn't it? ..why did i even try.. i guess those are his true colors

howdy 2/2 .. i also probably shouldn't have mentioned that we're probably not even in the same area anymore. lockdown is still a thing of course but i think he went home/to a different country so. it wouldn't work out anyway in his mind. or i'm one stupid bastard lol. anyway, i'll have to move on.. unless he does something.

It’s normal for someone to cold or blunt sometimes. There is only so much you can take before you show the other person he is being rude. With a shy guy unfortunately this scares them away. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he unblocked you discreetly in a few weeks. You could check from time to time,i you still want to build some sort of relationship with this guy. But don’t hold your breath  ;-)

[baedaze]

There were a lot more thing that I wanted to say about Brianna when I posted that text she gave me. I think that when I wrote it I just wanted to get rid of the urge to post it. So I missed what I had originally intended to post. I guess that’s what happens when you procrastinate some things. They don’t end up being top quality. It definitely felt like I procrastinated that. My main purpose was served, though, because I wanted her text here. In many ways, I feel like maybe I should’ve just taken my time with it. Because I’m in NY now and a constant topic in my head is everything I’ve been meaning to write. I guess the time finally came.

I’ll start with Brianna, since it’s been up here the longest. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish talking about her for years though, because she came to mean a whole lot to me this year. I still want my space, but I suppose that’ll come with time and with me talking to her if I have to. Then I’ll talk about everything else. In separate posts.

Brianna asked me what my favorite candy was during our starter questions. I told her maybe three different ones, including the individually wrapped swollen strawberry twizzlers- probably my top favorite. When she came to pick me up for our first date (a great first date) she came with red flowers, the closest she could get to poinsettias (my favorite flower) she said, and a massive bag of assorted twizzlers. They were swollen alright, but none of which were strawberry flavored. Welp. I accepted them and ate them. I later told her about it and she freaked and surprised me later with another assorted bag of candies but this time they actually had my strawberry twizzlers. I must’ve eaten about 16 in front of her. They’re just simply my guilty pleasure. At the end of our relationship, she got them just right. Giving me a full bag of purely strawberry twizzlers and nothing else. I was surprised that time, because never had I seen anywhere strawberry twizzlers, the individually wrapped ones, sold by themselves. You see, my experience with those were only encountered around Halloween time, when everyone buys those assorted bags and then I’d only come across them by pure chance on courtesy trays in waiting offices, if they had any. Or if I’d gone trick-or-treating myself. No way I’d ever buy a bag of assorted candies just for the twizzlers. Why would I? I have no interest in the other candies just what would I do with those? Lol. It was something that touched me. Because here is a person noticing something small about me, and going far to please just that. What a lovely human being. This reminded me of Pigie. Brianna caught onto my strawberry twizzlers fixation, Pigie caught onto my fascination for 505. I don’t think I ever wrote about this one either but I always meant to. Look at that, things I’ve been meaning to write since summer. Lol. I guess it’s all finally coming out. Perfect timing, at the end of the year. Pigie once asked me out to queer prom with a line that went something like this.. “would you meet me at 5:05pm for queer prom?” Probably I didn’t get the wording exactly as she had said it, but I hope the point goes through. She’d also send me snaps of it being 5:05pm. She knew. I always notice the time when it’s 5:05. Change when it’s 5.05. Telephone numbers with 505. Other random numerical happenings with 505. It’s all because of Arctic Monkeys and in a way, myself. I was born at 5:05pm and the Arctic Monkeys, a favorite band happens to have a song titled 505. Ain’t that crazy? It’s like my lucky number. Or I believe it to be.

Back to Brianna and her text, I’m glad to have met her. Sorry for the damage I put her through. I don’t believe I could have been that bad, but I don’t get to decide how much it hurts. From the looks of it, it must’ve really hurt. Her text is a reminder of what I had with her, and how is shouldn’t settle for anyone that doesn’t exceed or at the very least try to reach that bar. I doubt anyone can. With someone like me, who would want to try that hard?

Update on her: she blocked me first I think on Snapchat. But then she made her Snapchat public for her trip to Cambodia. I assume it’ll go back to being blocked when she’s back. I tried texting her and she blocked me on her phone too. It sounds a little familiar, like something I’ve done previously to someone. Sucks, I guess. But it does feel a bit childish. Because I know I’ll just be unblocked. I unblocked. It’s a stupid pattern.