#so i thought itd be fun to have him as cute highschool girl

[jackalopedaily]

Jackalope Daily Day 303

I ACCIDENTALLY MISSED 2 DAYS?...well I don't count them anymore YIPPEEE

[gothic-gnosis]

hi

so a lot has happened. ill go in chronological order.

so i got up this morning, and i wore a REALLY good fit, i felt really good about myself but school was so fucking boring today. i got hot boxed at 10 then again for an hour at lunch. i dont smoke and ion wanna die hitting a bong so everybody just blows the second hand smoke in my face LMFAO. good friends.

anyways. judas woke up and we started arguing immediately. til i got home from school. he showed me more of the screenshots between him and that girl. and she called him and everything bruh. she messaged him Multiple times. like literally 7 hours worth of messages, its really clearly obvious hes just. deleted parts of things he said. i dont understand why a girl who he claims he didnt flirt with would keep messaging him for 7 hours, call him and talk to him. she knows we're dating now, she hasnt came to stream yet but i have a feeling she will. last night i had no idea, she was donating hella bits and shit too . and judas didnt say anything about that to me. and he didnt ignore her in chat either even though she did all of that .

anyways. heres the reason i started typing in the first place.

so, my friends posted in our school chat that theyre all gonna hang out in a cafe in oceanside to study. i suck at studying on my own, i need people to hold me accountable or i just wont do it, so i literally havent done anything since i became a senior. oceanside is an hour away for me, so i knew it was kinda a long shot asking my parents, but my mom said yes. three of my friends are going and i want to be invited to more things. but my dad said no and kept lecturing me on why i cant and "i wanna do fun things too but you dont see ME doing them" and i'd already said "okay". i've never had real friends before and when i finally found some that are good for me, they tell me i cant hang out with them. my dad used to get so infuriated that i sat in my room for my entire 16th year but then im almost 20 and he keeps me home. its so unfair.

i'm genuinely not the type to go out and do shit, most of highschool i just cried and slept and stayed inside, i was homeschooled so it was easy to do. now i wanna actually see everything i missed out on. they're really lucky my friends are actually really chill and dont like pressuring me into doing drugs if im not comfortable, they don't like the way judas treats me and they listen if im upset. idk. i like having friends outside of judas. i like feeling like people want me around. i like feeling like if i disappeared, itd matter. idk. schools made me so much less depressed.

anyways. another thing. last night i asked judas to watch the pink moon tonight with me but i doubt he will without arguing. earlier today we were arguing about it because i just wanted to do something different, watching the moon together is cute idk?? who wouldn't want to watch the moon with their cute ass goth gf?? him apparently? he said im like an instagram art hoe, neither of us have ig btw so he's going off 2018 instagram, and that really hurt because i thought it was cute and different for us because we argue pretty much every night. idk. i hope he sits with me the whole time. i love moonlight .

monday april 26th 2021, 9:37 pm