#so i said yeah and i forgot to ask the boss abt my break before he LEFT

[voidrots]

they did NOT give me a break as i hoped bc we were hellaciously short handed so erm. eight hours straight no breaks babey wheeee

[virtuangel]

vity and tbz?!

hi bibi <3 (it got long so. it goes under the cut)

crabs

first bias: serim (& jungmo)

current bias: woobin / wonjin / jungmo / serim

album ranking: season 2 (hideout: the new day we step into) > liberty: in our cosmos = new wave > season 3 (hideout: be our voice) = season 1 (hideout: remember who we are) > the awakening: written in the stars (> vivid > boogie woogie)

how i got into them: i was interested when i heard they were going to debut bc. it's always exciting to see new groups debuting i think (nd partially because of the pdx/x1 guys but like not Really bc . i didnt rlly remember that i liked them during pdx AND i didnt like mini/hyeongjun when x1 was. a thing) + brina was posting abt them when the teaser pics were coming out nd all that so they were on the dash for me to see y'know. then batr came out and i hated it so i thought that's where my adventure w the cavities was done but after a while i finally listened to the rest of the album AND STAY WAS THE BEST SONG IVE EVER HEARD............i listened to Only her on loop for like DAYS . n here we are now

which member would be my best friend: id pester mini until he agrees to be friends w me . also wanji !! best friend energy off the charts

something i associate with them: crabs. cavities. brina & eri. the phrase brand deals bc of how many times ive said that mini deserves all the brand deals in the world. bubblegum w hyeongjun. orangeade & sewoon songs with wanji. pitbull (dont ask). randall the lizard thing w jungmo (this is brina's fault blame her). meteors, honestly.

bring the boyz back

first bias: haknyeon (& hyunjun)

current bias: ?????? (chanhee/sunwoo/hyunjae)

album ranking: reveal = breaking dawn > the start = chase > maverick => the sphere = dreamlike > the first = thrill-ing > the only > tattoo = be aware > bloom bloom (= last man standing = all about you > christmassy! => drink it > white) + still haven't heard the she's the boss album oops..... as u can see. very different from my title track ranking

how i got into them: see it's a long, long, long story........ was really excited when they were rumoured to have their little snack shop show/be debuting because i liked hak from broduce. i made another twt account just specifically for the to-be-tbz stanning purposes. saw hwall fantakens n i was like Oh Whos that. nd then suddenly i stopped going on that account n kinda forgot? abt them? i would listen to every release they'd put out but without much more bc as much as i LOVED boy. song of the century. i absolutely hated giddy up so i was like well too bad :/ rip my interest in them :/ and i think i disliked right here at first as well (i love her now. shes my beloved.) but i was absolutely INSANE about no air shes the best song ever i've been in love with her from the first second i heard her. so i ended up watching the showcase stage n someone caught my eye (i ended up finding out it was hak which was rlly funny it was a . destiny kinda moment). i think it was around that time that i saw their right here era weekly idol appearance. got a small crush on sunwoo. but then nothing much more happened rlly? i still kept watching their mvs whenever they'd release one and i Was a p big fan of their music!! and . i must have seen some more content at Some point before rtk because i remember already having a better idea of who each of them were before rtk started but. it was rlly during rtk that i rlly got Into them . but like . Rlly into them like . the amount of vlives i watched in the span of a few months (while rtk was airing, even though i wasn't watching the actual show, only the performances, and for a while after it ended im p sure)......yeah

which member would be my best friend: chanhee bestie shaped.... also possibly moonbae . or hyunjae/eric

something i associate with them: betrayal plotlines. flower emojis (esp in spam format). horses & pigs w hak. pink hair, chanhee's natural haircolour. big pools during summertime. winter releases (they probably have the best ones overall all things considered). sorry to taemin but danger is their song. also u w kyu & léks w cob & sarah w eric

[hilariouslyedgy]

tgfmtif headcanons

hi, if you read my fanfic this godforsaken mess, this idiotic fool then this post may be for you. (if u haven’t read the fic maybe check it out before reading this list.) on ao3, I asked if anyone wanted a list of hc’s I have for this fic and a few of y’all said YES so. here it is. enjoy. I may go back and add things I think of later on.

-yakko is a leo (aug 10), wakko is a sagittarius (nov 30), and dot is a pisces-aries cusp (march 20)(if you ask her she’ll say she’s an aries)

-(this ones more for me) but if I were to describe the warners in this fic as tarot cards it would be this

-yakko: the hanged man

-wakko: six of swords

-dot: queen of swords

-(look em up)anyways

-yakko started working at that starbucks in that target at the age of 16

-he really enjoyed it there. the chaos reminded him vaguely of the movie lot and keeping his mind busy was nice

-the transition from “I do what I fucking want” to “yes ma’am right away” was difficult, it got him written up a couple times

-he was so good at his job that his boss couldn’t fire him

-now that he transferred into the store it’s less chaotic but he can have more time with a customer

-he actually likes helping elderly customers, they have so many questions and he has a lot of answers (and patience)

-he gets along pretty well with Shawn and playfully flirts with him. shawn is straight but he still jokes about running away with yakko

-shawn and annalise are very happy together, despite their vast differences. it’s actually annalise’s first healthy relationship

-yakko called annalise “Lisa” the first time he met her but then switched to “Annie bannanie” after seeing the face she made at the nickname

-“I got ᵘᵘᵘᵘʰʰʰʰʰ a venti mango dragonfruit with lemonade for ANNIE BANNANIE”

-annalise doesn’t really like teenagers but her education in psychology is changing that. yakko changed that too. she took it upon herself to keep tabs on him when he first started working at target. now they’re good friends.

-its still 2 years away but she’s planning things for yakkos 21st birthday

-when the 2 younger sibs started school they texted each other during class to make sure they were okay

-wakko immediately wanted to join orchestra, playing violin, naturally

-he met charlie in this class, she plays the flute. wakko noticed her after she let out a well timed belch after a piece

-wakko met astro in algebra 2. they both have an interest in a particular band and bonded over that

-charlie and astro share classes together and that’s how they know each other

-despite his grades, wakko adapted really well to going to school. as stated in the main fic, school becomes his escape from home when things are hard

-dot, on the other hand, is not such a big fan. classes are boring and her teachers are mean.

-however dance class is fun, and she got to participate in the homecoming parade, and that’s where she met chessie, who also took dance

-dot also adores her dance teacher, miss mercer (it’s my other oc, aria uwu)(idk if y’all will ever meet her tho)

-miss mercer can pass off as a student she looks so young and shes short af, but shes really cool and youthful and you can tell she loves her job, and that’s why dot loves her

-dot makes sure to stand in the very front of the class when they’re doing warm ups and learning new routines for the winter recital

-the winter recital was really exciting, dot got to stand in the front for her class’s dance and she heard her brothers cheering for her from the audience

-miss Mercer told dot that she has potential to join the dance team, and you bet your patootie she’s gonna audition at the end of the year

✨and now some hc’s for my oc’s, annalise and bella✨

-they each have their own respective fics,,,,,i created them for other fandoms 😅 bellas origin story is here, and annalises is here 🙂

-you don’t have to read them but both fics exist in the same universe, and it’s different from the one in this fic!

-anyways (pt2)

-annalise doesn’t really talk to her parents. she’ll see them on their birthdays and holidays but overall,,,,meh

-Bella hadn’t spoken to any of her relatives in years,,,,it’s a sensitive topic

-while bella isn’t an alt girl, she does follow the colorful hair/bold makeup/gamer boyfriend trope ☺️ (and if you peeped at her origin story [third installment] you know Who that bf is)

-annalise is a goth but her bf is “normal” bc that’s the relationship dynamic she saw growing up. so it stuck with her.

-she is the one who introduced dot to little mix, but Bella introduced annalise to them 🤣 you think a goth is gonna find a pop group on her own??

-oh and ann n bella are bisexual 🥰 and yakko is too 💖💜💙

-anyways ann and yakko try to get their lunch breaks at the same time to hang out

-Annalise has picked up the little ones from school a couple times

✨and now thing that were originally supposed to happen but didn’t✨

-in chapter 6 when it’s mentioned that dot spent the night with annalise while wakko was in the hospital?? yeah there was supposed to be a deep, profound, but nice conversation between them but a bitch fuckin forgot the dialogue 🙃

-I was originally going to have Ann’s n Bella’s roles swapped in this fic. Bella was going to be the Human Best Friend to yakko. she’s quiet and he’s loud and it would have been quite the dynamic

-I don’t know what happened tbh. I think Annie bannanie popped into my head first.

-this fic was supposed to take place around october or november but I knew I wanted dot’s birthday in there somewhere AND i wanted her star sign to be aries so it just ended up being late march

-and bc of that she’s accidentally a year older than I planned. so she is one year apart from wakko and 4 years from yakko. oopsie whoopsie

-and finally, the one I’m most 😤 abt bc I’m a dumbass who FORGOT TO WRITE IT IN

-in chapter 12 when yakko comes home he was meant to dig thru the cabinet n eat goldfish crackers (iykyk)

[dinosaurtsukki]

all aboard the mystery machine | (feat. the gym 3 squad and y/n)

this was inspired by a post by @kenchiko which was the ‘being in a friend group with gym three squad’ which i like to read when i’m sad. anyway, they all dressed up as the mystery gang and i thought it was so cute i decided to headcanon it. (thank u kenchiko i love ur tsukki stuff but i’m too shy to interact with u *waves*)

it was the day of electric spookaloos aka halloween and you and kuroo were hyped af 

mostly because you could play ‘this is halloween’ on loudspeaker with less weird stares than usual

and kuroo’s all about gROuP CosTUmeS 

previously the five of you had dressed up as the power rangers (which you switched for m&m’s because the helmets were too hard to make), the breakfast club, and the teen titans and now the five of you were going to top it off with…

‘the mystery gang from scooby doo!’ kuroo mentioned in your groupchat

no one noticed it except for bokuto who haha-reacted and then it resurfaced three days before halloween

kuroo and akaashi are the only ones who went all out with their costumes

kuroo has a blonde wig for his fred costume and akaashi also got a wig and made a dress for his daphne costume

bokuto ordered a cloth scooby doo mask online and forgot to order the rest of the body so he looks like inosuke from kny except his head is scooby doo

you and tsukki went to the dollar store on the day itself and just bought shirts for your velma and shaggy costumes

kuroo: you couldn’t even bother to get an orange sweater?

tsukki: it was fifty cents more expensive also i’m the blonde one so i should be fred

kuroo: well you didn’t binge-watch scooby doo all night and got only one hour of sleep so you had to sip akaashi’s pumpkin spiced latte before getting kicked by the owner of said latte

bokuto worked on spray painting kuroo’s pick-up truck to look like the mystery machine 

but the painting didn’t work out and only half of the letters are legible so you’re all piled into a pick-up truck that says ‘THE  Y T RY    AC  NE’ on the side

but you’re off to the only halloween party you were invited to !!

and you blast ‘this is halloween’ on loudspeaker while dancing in the backseat

except on the way tsukki gets a call from his boss (he works at a museum) abt some missing artifacts

you: why did he call you, don’t you just deliver coffee?

tsukki: *kicks you*

you: *kicks back and accidentally kicks bokuto*

bokuto, behind his mask: :’( 

kuroo: missing artifacts??? museum???? 

tsukki: nO–

kuroo: SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR THE MYSTERY GANG *drives to museum before anyone can say anything*

akaashi: this is the only party we’ve been cool enough to be invited to this year and we’re going to spend it in mcdonalds again after this is over

bokuto: wE’RE GOING TO MCDONALDS IF WE’RE COOL ENOUGH?

akaashi: nO

anyway you, kuroo, and bokuto are excited for this ~~mystery~~

the five of you are miraculously able to sneak past the guards and enter through the back because the mystery gang gave you their blessing to break and enter almost any building on halloween night

kuroo, immediately getting into fred jones mode: alright let’s split up gang! daphne and i will check the upper floors while velma, shaggy, and scooby, you take the basement

bokuto: ruh-roh!·         

you: splitting up is a surefire way for someone to get killed but go off, i guess?

kuroo: also, if anyone curses, they owe a quarter in the swear jar

akaashi: you can only use things like jinkies, jeepers, jiminy, or zoinks

tsukishima: i’m not fucking doing that

kuroo: that’s a quarter

anyway, you’re with bokuto and tsukishima so what could go wrong?

everything

and it all starts when you guys go downstairs into a basement full of creepy artifacts and find a mysterious, glowing amulet

you: i don’t think we should touch that

bokuto, who can barely hear anything in his decapitated scooby mask: TOUCH IT!

tsukki doesn’t care enough to hold him back and bokuto touches the amulet

the basement shakes, the ground beneath you trembles, the amulet grows brighter and pale green apparition appears in front of you. its danny phantom a hooded figure with glowing eyes

ghost: YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE GHOST OF THE AMULET OF ETERNAL SUFFERING

tsukki: …a song by Fall Out Boy

you: *trying hard not to laugh but also scared shitless* …jinkies

bokuto: ruh-roh?

tsukki: huh, i guess someone rigged a hologram here as a prank. nice one

ghost: I KNOW NOT OF THIS PRANK YOU SPEAK OF. YOU HAVE BROUGHT ETERNAL SUFFERING ONTO YOURSELVES, MORTALS

you: i mean, i work at customer service so…

tsukki: nice one *high fives you*

ghost: YOU HAVE– *stops when he actually sees bokuto* WHAT ABOMINATION IS THIS?

tsukki: mean, that’s just y/n

you: *kicks him*

meanwhile kuroo and akaashi are sleuthing it up upstairs

kuroo: *having a staring contest with one of the paintings displayed*

akaashi: what are you doing?

kuroo: you know how painting’s eyes tend to follow the main character in cartoons?

akaashi:,,,kuroo that’s a painting of an apple

kuroo: i could have sworn i saw some red eyes 

akaashi: i don’t think anyone would be blazing it in a museum. come on, let’s check the next room

while walking past a row of suits of armor, one of the displays turns its head (but no one notices it yet shhhhh)

back at the basement

the ghost is wreaking havoc: chairs are thrown against the wall, vases are cracked, the faint smell of sulphur is in the air. you and bokuto are fucking terrified and look more like shaggy and scooby despite your shitty cosplays. tsukishima doesn’t believe in anything that’s going on

tsukki: man, these guys here are really putting effort into this prank

you: TSUKKI I DON’T THINK THIS IS A PRANK 

ghost: *starts chanting in some unknown, ancient language*

tsukki: ah, nice touch. you watch lord of the rings?

you: tSUKKI NO-

bokuto: don’t worry! i’ll exorcise this spirit with my bible knowledge!

you and tsukki: MANGA MESSIAH IS NOT THE BIBLE

akaashi: *shivers* i just had the strangest feeling that bokuto called manga messiah the bible again

kuroo: zoinks! sounds like him

akaashi: *trying not to cringe* anyway, they’re probably not doing anything right now

the basement, atm: just a complete fucking mess

the walls have started bleeding but somehow y’all are still a-okay

that’s because tsukki’s so salty he’s basically a salt circle with 10m radius but you didn’t hear that from me

and he STILL DOESN’T BELIEVE THAT A REAL ASS GHOST IS HAUNTING THEM 

the ghost is also tired at this point 

also bokuto is really fucking scared but decides to end things ONCE and FOR ALL

he stands up from under the desk and just tackles the ghost like a football player

he didn’t think that he’d pass through the ghost

but seeing a buff dude with a scooby doo head is enough to scare mr. blood-dripping-from-the-walls shitless, especially when he fucking passes through him

ghost: *disappears back into the amulet*

you: and you still don’t believe that’s real??? 

tsukki: ghosts aren’t real

you: *ready to throw hands*

bokuto: I DID IT! I FOUGHT A GHOST!

you pocket the amulet because you can send it to your enemies 

meanwhile: upstairs

kuroo: man, i’d give anything to be chased by a scooby-doo villain dressed in a suit of armor 

a suit of armor: *starts chasing them*

akaashi, in his best daphne voice: jeepers! we better get out of here! 

kuroo, crying out how perfectly akaashi emulated daphne: let’s split up gang!

they don’t split up tho that would be dumb

*cue classic scooby doo chase scene with the music*

and then as they round a corner they run into you, tsukki, and bokuto fresh from the basement and you all fall into a heap

tsukki: *sees the suit of armor running towards then* ah fuck, what now?

kuroo: laNGUAGE *hands him the swear jar*

akaashi: NOT THE TIME

you: GET HIM BOKUTO!” 

bokuto stands up and once again tackles the knight and this time he doesn’t pass through

it takes five (5) of you to tie up this one (1) guy 

kuroo: oh my god, i’m ready

you: ready for what?

bokuto: the final unveiling

kuroo: now let’s see who’s behind all this! *rips off the helmet which tears off like a mask don’t ask me why but apparently that happens*

and it’s…Bokuto!!

everyone: *gasps and turns to Bokuto who FINALLY removes the scooby doo mask*

tsukki: *gasp* you’re the creepy british dude who keeps trying to buying our local artifacts to display at The British Museum!

akaashi: neo-imperialism is real

bokuto in the suit of armor: guys help!! he kidnapped me!!

all of you (except tsukki because he’s so done at this point) tackle mr. british villain who you thought was bokuto

finally the right person has been tied up

kuroo: your days of stealing artifacts are over!

british villain (let’s say he looks like jude law or something): and i would have gotten away with it…

kuroo: *grabbing your arm* oh my god! he’s gonna say it! he’s gonna say it!

british villain/jude law: …if it weren’t for you fUCKERS!

*dead silence*

kuroo tries to hand him the swear jar but akaashi puts his hand down

you: can we call the police? 

akaashi: *gags* fuck the police 

you: he’s white, british, and a man. they won’t do anything to him

akaashi: exactly

tsukki: hey, you still have that amulet from earlier, right?

you: the CURSED amulet with the GHOST inside?

akaashi: the what now? 

tsukki: yeah, maybe leave it with this guy? and then he’ll get pranked

at this point you’re too tired to argue with mister ghosts-aren’t-real so you leave the amulet with jude law and the five of you get out of the museum and pile into the mystery machine

akaashi: do you think the party’s still going?

you: we could hang out in mcdonalds again like last year

but otw to mcdonalds kuroo’s phone rings and he picks up

kuroo: hello? b-bokuto?

bokuto, over the phone: guys where are you??? the party started hours ago and my headless scooby-doo onesie is hard to get out of and i need to pee !!

akaashi: but…

you all turn to look at ‘bokuto’ sitting between you and tsukki in the backseat. he removes his mask.

it’s…jude law !! 

*cue ending music*

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

[earthdeep]

ok this is really starting to get on ludicrous levels but... can we quit with the aa5 hate a bit? like srsly? y’all are gettin waaaaay too aggressive abt ppl liking this game. half the time it’s shit over nothing! it’s not like ppl are out here praising this as a masterpiece of writing. srsly the only times I’ve seen what y’all are insisting stans are doing is for aa4 (usually guessing at what was intended for future sequels that actually continued on from it) and shipping (especially narumitsu shippers? some of u are REALLY invested in subtext like wow). 99% of the praise I’ve seen for aa5 is for the characters. which is more than fair! in case u forgot, aa5 introduced us to the entire blackquill/cykes group, in all their lovable glory! and fleshed out the universe with the wonder that is lawyer highschool (which, listen, if ur accepting 13 year olds are allowed to prosecute, this isn’t actually incompatible with the depths this fictional justice system will sink) that also managed to connect parts of aai2 into the timeline as well! ffs apollo’s single friend only exists in canon bc of aa5!

and u can say everything’s clumsily implemented all u like. but, uh, in case u hadn’t noticed, aa5 isn’t the first time it’s gone weird. have u seen t&t lately? dahlia and godot were soooo clumsily integrated. I’ve ranted on godot’s mary sue qualities before, but ugh. both have the same problem of “oh by the way did I ever mention that INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT ex of mine who is totally irrelevant btw haha oh wow they’re suddenly relevant how about that”. fucking jfa has the same issue with franziska aka “woah now there’s ANOTHER von karma? and she’s even MORE challenging than the last one?!” srsly let’s not pretend her sudden arrival made sense for a prodigy who is also next of kin to the most infamous prosecutor around. nick not knowing who manfred was was clumsy too. what I’m getting at is that the aa series does not in fact have the smoothest writing, to the point where nick and later apollo appear to live under rocks in order to lose out on what should be common knowledge in their situation. srsly apollo how did u never notice that there’s some frontman in a rock group pushed by the literal police who looks scarily like ur boss, has the same last name as ur boss, said band is literally called the GAVINners. like christ I’m not into music but I at least recognise the names of 1d members. in all honesty I am so glad athena did not end up like those two pebble-dwellers and had actually p good reasons for either not knowing shit (hello l’belle and his private company) or keeping quiet (hello the entire space station situation). athena is good at this. 

and u know the biggest plus that kinda ties into the character situation? NO STOCK FUCKING PERVERT CHARACTERS. WE ALL HATE THEM. BUT CAN WE NOT OVERLOOK THE FACT AA4 HAD TWO. BOTH STICKLER AND HOTTI/HICKFIELD BOTH APPEARED IN THE SAME CASE. BOTH INVOLVING A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL. I HAVE THE SCRIPT. DO NOT FUCKING TEST ME.

there’s other stuff I’ve seen too specifically abt the satire that started the series. yes, gyakuten saiban was created to satirise the unbalanced nature and unbelievably high prosecution rates of the japanese courts. gyakuten saiban 4 was written in reaction to the real life introduction of the jury. (srsly if u have time, go on a research trip. there’s a lot of interesting stuff surrounding the background of the series.) but, forgive me if I’m missing something, what the FUCK were 2 and 3 satirising? as far as I’m aware, takumi was asked to continue the series bc ppl liked it. and it made capcom money. takumi eventually got totally sick of it and left the main series but please don’t act like this is something new from capcom. not everything in the series is pure political commentary. some of it is just regular stories. this is true for almost any satirical series ever. it doesn’t make them unenjoyable. besides y’all are content to shit on soj anyway for being a cheesy take on of a corrupt government system so maybe u just don’t care and just have a hate on for anything tangentially related to aa5.

and on whether it’s unenjoyable? nah man aa5 is fun. monstrous turnabout was a bit slow I reckon, but everything else moved at a nice pace, had fun characters, had those good good friendship moments. it was a bit wobbly in places, but we sat through turnabout serenade and turnabout succession! would u like my list of plot holes in serenade alone? bc I have one. I had to make one to break down the damn thing enough to write an au version of it. and with aa5 and the phantom? apparently that’s largely on the localisation team deciding western audiences wouldn’t accept ‘yokai’ as the answer and then just... not... putting anything else in? literally could’ve been solved with one word being swapped out or jinxie mentioning said yokai in one of her lists which... yeah that one’s on the game. idk maybe in the distant future when the games are all remastered for the new new new nintendo 3dsi that’ll be fixed too. or maybe the miracle never happen. who knows.

like probably the only other thing I can’t argue with on criticism is the art style. yeah, I’m not keen on fuse’s faces. nuri suffers with a certain level of same face too, but (as shown in dgs) the other parts of his design are pretty and managed to shine through in 3d. but the colours are way better come soj now the main team is getting into the swing of it, and anyone who doesn’t think khura’in is pretty as hell can fight me.

but srsly there are actually a lot of good points to aa5. it is not the antichrist. personally it is far from my favourite game (with my own fave as aa4 bc dem characters tho... barring the perverts) but many of its flaws are not new to the series. and while it has lost potential in various parts such as several important characters being dead on arrival, let’s not forget it left behind some especially nasty parts of the series and appears to be CONTINUING to leave those behind. mmm just look at that lack of literal canon pedophiles we’re supposed to feel sorry for... sorry every time I remember aa3 I like it less and less. which is a shame, bc young!mia is still the most relatable protag ever.

anyway, let’s not become the dicks who shat on anyone who liked aa4 back in the day, yeah?