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cringemesstickles · 1 month ago

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A Game Of Chase… But Why?

(TickleTober Day 2: Chase)

Summary: Sam and Dean are wrapped up in a game of chase. Castiel is confused.

Pairing: None (Maybe Destiel if you squint)

Word Count: 1293

A/N: ikik another SPN fic… I can’t help it :v

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The bunker was quiet as there wasn’t much to do. There were no apocalypses, no universes shattering, no Lucifer… just a normal day.

And there, sitting on the couch, was the former angel of the Lord, Castiel, hands clasped in his lap as he stared at the wall with his usual pensive expression. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the sound of boots pounding against the floors, as well as familiar voices shouting through the halls.

“Get back here, Sammy! You know what’s coming!” Dean yelled, his voice carrying a mixture of playfulness and warning.

Sam darted around a sharp corner, his longer legs giving him a slight advantage over his older brother. The angel could overhear the back and forth and the rapid footsteps, but he couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out what was going on.

“Come on, man! I didn’t finish it on purpose! If you wanted it so bad, you should’ve put your name on it!” cried the younger Winchester, his laughter echoing through the labyrinthine halls.

The noise was quite distracting. Castiel considered moving thinking spots before the brothers came bounding into the living area, giving the angel a start.

Sam ran in first, darting behind the couch before Dean followed, taking a wide stance on the opposite side, his hands raised and his fingers formed like claws. Throughout this, neither of them even acknowledged their angelic friend, who could only hope to figure out what on earth was unfolding in front of him.

“Excuses, excuses!” Dean growled, a playful grin on his face as he circled the couch, attempting to subtly close the distance between him and his brother. “You know what happens when you mess with my pie!”

Just as Dean was about to lunge, Castiel’s gravelly voice caught their attention.

“Has Dean been possessed? Why do you appear to be so… urgent?”

The brothers stopped in their tracks, sharing a baffled look before turning back to Castiel.

“Cas, Dean isn’t possessed…” Sam explained, a small, amused smile on his lips. Meanwhile, that cheeky expression found its way back to the older Winchester’s face as he eyed the youngest in the room.

“Oh, I’m possessed, alright… possessed by the tickle monster!” he growled before jumping toward Sam while the younger was distracted, his fingers latching onto the man’s sides and digging in with vigor.

As Sam yelped and burst into a fit of boisterous laughter, grappling onto the back of the couch to try and keep upright, Castiel cocked his head to the side, looking more confused than before as he watched the scene unfold.

“Tickle monster? I do not recall reading about this in lore books… I suppose the name is self-explanatory… How do you defeat it?”

The laughter only got louder at that question, and Sam shook his head, trying his best to answer their friend’s question while his brother was destroying him with tickles.

“N-No, no, no, it’s not a real—haha—monster! Dean’s just being a goof!”

Odd… so this was a playful thing? Castiel had made a lot of progress over the years, but sometimes he thought he’d just never truly understand humans.

“Ah… so you’re not really in danger?”

Dean chuckled, shaking his head as he moved to target the younger’s tummy, causing him to shriek and double over in hysterics. “Nope. The only thing Sammy’s in danger of is dying of laughter… Ain’t that right, Sammy?”

“Shut uhuhuhup!” came Sam’s frantic response.

Castiel’s brow creased with puzzlement, his eyes scanning the scene as if that would help him put the pieces together.

“Why were you chasing him then? He seemed quite alarmed.”

“Because it makes it more fun!”

It seemed that every answer only led to more and more questions. Why on earth would being chased be fun? Castiel had been chased before, and he recalled it as a very unpleasant experience.

“Fun? I fail to see how running for your life could be ‘fun,’” he said bluntly, tuning out the sound of Sam’s squeals as the elder’s fingers scribbled all over his belly.

Dean rolled his eyes and decided to show Sam some mercy so that they could help their angel friend out, giving his younger brother a pat on the shoulder and helping him stand. How on earth were they supposed to explain this to an angel? It was clear that Castiel didn’t have even a shred of understanding on this matter, so they were practically starting from nowhere.

“It just kind of is… the thrill of the chase, y’know?” Dean tried his hand at explaining, admittedly doing a horrible job. As the taller man sat up and plopped onto the couch, he decided to take a crack at it.

“It’s just a playful thing, Cas… When you’re not in any danger and you’re just messing around, chases can be pretty fun.” Sam smiled, trying his best to put it in simple terms. He’d also learned that it was better to explain things in a more blunt manner, since the angel could be quite… literal.

Castiel hummed, nodding slightly. “I see… Perhaps I should try to engage more. I often forget to, as Dean once put it, be less angelic.”

Dean gave a snort of laughter, raising his hands to threateningly wiggle his fingers at the angel. “Oh, buddy, you do NOT wanna get roped into this!”

At that, the angel gave a tilt of his head, his expression a mixture of amusement and bewilderment as he processed his friend’s words. “Dean, I do not believe you could take me… I am an angel of the Lord.”

Sam’s gaze bounced back and forth between the two, interested to see where this would go. Should he intervene? Maybe… but how? And frankly, why? This was pretty damn hilarious. And so, he kept his mouth shut, choosing to observe, but not before popping in with a friendly warning.

“Cas, I really wouldn’t challenge him… He’s ruthless,” he said, his voice the kind that speaks from experience. And if anyone could speak from experience on this matter, it was definitely Sam.

But the angel did not heed Sam’s warning. “Perhaps to you, Sam. But a human cannot merely take down an angel of the Lord.”

Dean’s eyes were twinkling with mischief, subtly shuffling closer to his angelic friend, hands raised menacingly. Dean was always up for a challenge. “Don’t tempt me, angel… I’ll make you eat those words.”

Castiel crossed his arms, giving a huff of disbelief. “Words cannot be eaten, Dean,” he stated matter-of-factly. It was at this moment that Sam realized he might have an out for the long, drawn-out tickle attack he would endure had this not become a thing. So, he sat up and casually started to shuffle away.

“Well, you guys have fun… Just try not to kill each other.”

He got all of three steps away before he heard a shrill shriek, and when he turned around, he saw his older brother straddling Castiel’s hips and digging his fingers into the angel’s ribs. While Sam wanted to stick around and watch the endearing scene, he knew it would only be a matter of time before Dean remembered their unfinished business… so he had to skedaddle.

“Oh, don’t think this means you’re off the hook, Sammy! Once I’m finished with this angel, you’re toast!”

And that was Sam’s cue to run… again.

While the angel didn’t fully understand games of chase, he did understand friendship and brotherhood… and that was precisely what he got from the Winchesters. Maybe he’d come around eventually, but for now, he was more than content to play around the Winchester way… with lots of teasing, banter, and of course, the occasional tickle attack.

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atiny-moon · 1 year ago

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Happy Birthday

18+ FANFIC. MINORS DNI

Genre: some soft smut for your consideration

Pairing: yeosang x fem!reader

Tags: nipple play, breast play, fingering (f receiving), unprotected birthday sex (no se hace!), yeosang has a skirt kink && is absolutely crazy about reader

Word Count: 5.4K

18+ FANFIC. MINORS DNI

star1117 Today at 10:16 PM

im so excited!!

h3h3tm0n Today at 10:16 PM

Me too !

Wait , why are we excited ? >.>’

star1117 Today at 10:16 PM

lolol my birthday is in 2 days

h3h3tm0n Today at 10:17 PM

Oh ! That explains why this gift mysteriously appeared in my room

star1117 Today at 10:17 PM

u bought me something?!

h3h3tm0n Today at 10:17 PM

Nope not at all

Wasn't me

A mysterious cosmic force made its way into my room and dropped off a present

star1117 Today at 10:18 PM

the universe loves me

h3h3tm0n Today at 10:18 PM

… Something like that , yes >.>

The universe also asked me if I could give it to you

star1117 Today at 10:19 PM

yes pls my venmo is star1117

h3h3tm0n Today at 10:19 PM

Haha

I would like to give you this present in person

If that’s okay ?

star1117 Today at 10:25 PM

do you wanna play Valorant w me?

Two days later, Yeosang was standing in front of his mirror trying on a series of different outfits. He couldn’t quite find the combination he liked best - the jeans he tried on didn’t go with the top he wanted to wear and none of his shoes seemed to fit him anymore and why was his hair being so weird? After a big bout of indecision, Yeosang settled on a camel colored sweater vest with a white crew neck tee underneath and light wash straight leg jeans. Finally satisfied with how he looked, he grabbed the black gift bag on his desk and headed towards the door.

On his way out, Yeosang passed both Wooyoung and Yunho who were sitting in the living room playing a video game. Without looking away from the television Wooyoung called out, “If you’re going to lunch, bring me back something!”

“I’m not going to lunch,” Yeosang responded with a small smile creeping up his lips, “I’m going on a date.”

“A date?!” Yunho and Wooyoung cried out in unison. This caused Yeosang to laugh and busy himself further with putting on his shoes. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his friends. Not right now, not with the bright blush that was coloring his cheeks as he thought of you and finally getting to see you in person.

“Yes, a date. I’ll be back later,” Yeosang said as he finished putting on his shoes. Wooyoung and Yunho were stunned silent and couldn’t do much except watch on with shocked expressions. As Yeosang stepped out of the apartment he could hear Wooyoung say, “They grow up so fast.”

There was a perpetual bounce in Yeosang’s step as he made his way to the cafe you picked out - the black gift bag swinging gently at his side. He was so incredibly excited at the thought of finally meeting you in person. Finally meeting the person that was so patient with him while he learned the rules of Valorant and kept him alive during his first few matches. Finally meeting the person that he could talk to all night on Discord and never run out of things to say. Finally meeting the person that made him so very happy.

Yeosang was about half a block away from the cafe when his heart jumped into his throat and butterflies swarmed his stomach. He caught a glimpse of you standing near the cafe and had to take a couple of minutes to calm his breathing before he could continue. His eyes were fixed on you as he approached the cafe - soaking up every inch of you in your adorable birthday outfit.

You had on a white collared shirt with a lilac pullover sweater tucked into a matching plaid lilac pleated skirt. Your hair was pulled into a lovely half up, half down hairstyle with a few loose pieces framing your face. Dainty little pastel accessories completed your outfit. Truly too cute.

You were scrolling on your phone and could feel the heaviness of someone’s gaze on you but you could not bring yourself to look up. Being in public was already a nightmare, you didn’t want to have to deal with some creep while you were at it. But when you were finally brave enough to look up, you were greeted with the sight of none other than Kang Yeosang. He was still a little ways away which gave you enough time to catch your heart before it leapt out of your chest.

As he approached, you could feel your palms get sweaty and a little voice in the back of your head was trying to convince you to run away but you were frozen, watching with wide eyes as Yeosang walked right up to you. The both of you stood in front of each other in silence for what felt like an eternity. You wanted to say something to break the ice but your throat forgot how to work and your hands were so sweaty and suddenly your shoes were too tight. You swallowed the panic attack that was building up and managed to squeak out, “Hi.”

“Hey,” Yeosang said softly. The two of you were finally face-to-face and Yeosang could not believe it. He didn’t even want to blink! Afraid that this whole thing was a dream and if he blinked, you would be gone. Yeosang watched you for a beat longer before shaking out of his daze, “Do you want to go inside?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah.. That sounds good..” You mentally kicked yourself for being so awkward as the two of you finally made your way inside.

The cafe was a beautiful double-heighted space that smelled like a combination of freshly ground coffee beans and old books. Save for the coffee/bakery area on the first floor and the reading nooks on the second floor, every open space was occupied by bookshelves and so, so many books. It was as if someone took an old warehouse and converted it into a library that just so happened to also have a cafe.

You placed your orders and waited for them in silence. It was so strange that you two could chat for hours online but once in person, all of those thoughts just vanished. Being in your favorite place with Yeosang on your birthday made you feel all sorts of things you didn’t know you could feel. And you didn’t know how to convey any of these complex emotions. The only thing your brain could do was short circuit.

Once your orders were ready, the both of you headed upstairs to find an empty reading nook. These nooks were semi-private little rooms that lined the second floor; they didn’t have much furniture - only a small table and a couple of cushions. A few of the reading nooks faced the street and had access to windows. You claimed one of these window-having reading nooks for your own.

The two of you sat down in front of the window, settling down the snacks and gift bag on the small table beside you. This was arguably your favorite spot in the entire cafe. With its extra large windows letting in the sun in just the right way and the ability to people watch at your own leisure, it was an introvert’s haven.

You were so taken in by the view you didn’t notice how Yeosang was unable to keep his eyes off you while you made yourself comfortable. Specifically, he couldn’t help but watch as your skirt gently danced across your thighs, never wanting to be a piece of fabric more in his life than right now. Thankfully, you saw none of this and were only met with such a gentle gaze. Locking eyes with him made your heart skip several beats - how could someone be so beautiful?

Yeosang was comfortable with the eye contact and had no intention of breaking that or the soft silence that had enveloped you two. You allowed yourself to really look at his face for the first time - the gentle slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, the sweet swell of cheekbone. He truly was sculpted by the gods. Once you realized how long you were actually staring for, your face reddened immediately. You quickly broke eye contact and focused all of your attention out the window.

As the embarrassment faded away, you could feel the anxiety start to bubble in your stomach. “This is my favorite spot,” You said suddenly. And once you started talking, the words would not stop pouring out of your mouth, “because it’s good for people watching, and you get really good views of the park over there. That’s also my favorite park because the ducks there are nice and they don’t really bother you..” Your voice trailed off as you realized you were knee deep in your rambling.

“Ducks can’t feel cold in their feet because their feet have no nerves or blood vessels,” Yeosang stated matter of factly before taking a sip of his iced americano. Somehow, him acknowledging what you said while simultaneously ignoring what you said made you feel comforted. Like he understood where you were coming from and wanted to make the most logical jump in conversation.

After the duck comment, the two of you fell into another comfortable silence. You shifted on the cushion trying to get comfortable but were unable to find the right spot. Frustrated, you slid off the cushion and onto the floor, grateful for the familiar stability of the cafe’s wooden floors. You carefully adjusted your skirt once more and began to dig into the slice of chocolate cake you were sharing with Yeosang.

Because all of your attention was on getting comfy, you missed the way in which Yeosang watched your skirt and where it fell on your body. The way the pleats complemented your thighs, the way the color suited you so nicely. He couldn’t help but let his mind wonder what you looked and felt like underneath the skirt. If he wanted to, he could easily slip a hand under.. Yeosang had to physically shake his head to keep the thoughts at bay.

You noticed this and raised a brow. “Everything okay?”

It was Yeosang’s turn to forget how to speak. It took him a couple seconds to formulate a coherent thought that wasn’t about you and the way your outfit was driving him crazy. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just drank coffee too fast and got a bit of a brain freeze.” He offered you a half smile before looking away. He didn’t want to lie to you but he also didn’t want to tell you how much he wanted to know what color your undies were.

“If you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, it’ll help out with the brain freeze,” You replied, completely oblivious to Yeosang’s moral dilemma. Yeosang nodded and did what you suggested even though he didn’t really have a brain freeze, grateful for the opportunity to be silent for a little while.

As the both of you shared the slice of cake you fell into a nice conversation where you talked about everything and nothing all at once. It was so similar to your chats online it made you realize that this wasn’t a big bad scary stranger, but Yeosang. Your Yeosang. The one you would heal every match, the one that could make you laugh with his simple observations, the one you chatted with when you couldn't sleep. And somewhere in the comfort of conversation, you found yourself leaning closer to him, nowhere near touching, but close enough to feel the heat of his skin on yours.

Yeosang noticed you leaning into him and wanted to bridge the small distance between you two but he also didn’t want to scare you away by doing something you didn’t want. So, he struck a compromise with himself. He leaned back a little bit and placed a hand somewhere behind you and rested his weight on that hand. This meant he maintained his distance while simultaneously giving you more access to him. And little by little, you found yourself leaning more and more into Yeosang until you were cuddling against him.

The contact made you blush immediately and try your best to hide your face. Little did you know that Yeosang was also blushing like crazy and also trying his best to hide his face. But neither of you moved away from each other, preferring instead to be an awkward mess together. As the blush subsided and your breathing returned to normal you turned to look at Yeosang and were about to say something when Yeosang took your chin in his hand.

“You have a bit of..” Yeosang tilted your chin up a bit so he could look at your lips. Seconds later you felt his thumb brush ever-so-softly against your bottom lip “..chocolate.”

The two of you made eye contact as Yeosang sucked the tiniest bit of chocolate off of his thumb. Reality quickly set in and Yeosang broke eye contact first, unable to suppress the blush that was coloring his cheeks a bright red. You turned away, allowing him the grace of feeling embarrassed without the weight of prying eyes.

While Yeosang gathered himself, you busied yourself with straightening out your skirt. From behind you felt Yeosang clear his throat. You looked up at him with your hands still on your skirt, wondering if there was something wrong and that’s when you finally noticed the grip that your outfit had on Yeosang. His cheeks were redder than before and his eyes were transfixed on the hem of your skirt.

It was another beat before Yeosang actually said something, “Don’t forget your gift.” It took everything in him to tear his eyes away from where your skirt sat on your thighs and to the black gift bag on the table. He leaned forward to reach it for you, even though the bag was technically on your side of the table. He was so close as he reached across you, you could smell his cologne. Mm, cedarwood and lavender.

He handed you the bag and returned to his neutral leaning position with you ever-so-close to his body. The giddy smile that overtook your features made your entire face light up. Having the present in your hands really cemented today was real and it was not a dream.

You opened the gift bag and found no tissue paper but a black half-full cologne bottle. Neatly folded underneath it was a simple white v-neck undershirt. You tried your hardest to control the disappointment and confusion but it was fruitless. Yeosang was already clamoring to explain the reasoning behind the gifts.

“Ah, this isn’t any regular cologne,” He began as he took the bottle from your hand, “This! This is the very same cologne I use on a day-to-day basis. It’s the one I have on right now.” Yeosang exchanged the bottle for the white v-neck. Here, he leaned forward a bit so he could use both hands to hold open the shirt, effectively holding you in a very loose back hug. “And this is the shirt I slept in last night.” He smiled brightly, content with his gift.

But you were still confused, unsure why he would gift you his own personal items. Yeosang could sense your hesitation and lowered the shirt. In a much smaller voice he continued, “I know you sometimes have a hard time falling asleep so I thought having these pieces of me could make it a little easier..”

Your lips were still set in a slight pout when your brain finally understood the meaning behind Yeosang’s gifts. The sentiment filled your heart to the brim with an overwhelming amount of love. You turned to face him and threw your arms around his neck, bringing him in for a very tight hug. Yeosang was slow to return the affection but when he did, he held you as if you were the most precious thing on the planet.

The tenderness in his hold made you relax further into the hug. Yeosang responded by simply bringing you in closer to his body and rubbing small circles on your back, letting you break the hug whenever you wished. And it was a long time before you did, enjoying the feeling of his well-defined body against yours and the soothing motions of his hands on your back.

By the time you pulled away from him, there were the beginnings of tears forming in your eyes. Maybe it was the intimacy of the moment, or maybe it was the generosity of the gift, but you were overwhelmed with emotion. Yeosang was absolutely confused and had no idea what to do. He immediately started apologizing and saying that if you wanted to give the gifts back you could and don’t feel pressured to keep anything and he could take you shopping if you preferred.

You were half-laughing, half-crying as you dabbed at the corners of your eyes. “I don’t wanna give them back. I really like the gifts.. You’re very sweet, Yeosang.”

Hearing you say his name did things to Yeosang, things he didn’t feel comfortable experiencing in a public place. He wanted to hear you say his name over and over and over in a considerably less dignified manner. Yeosang blinked back the thoughts and focused on you. “I’m glad you liked them. But, are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“Yeah.. I think I’m just ready to go. I’m starting to feel a little overstimulated.” You laughed dryly and watched as an expression you didn’t quite understand cross Yeosang’s features. “We can still hang out, though!” You added and immediately saw Yeosang relax.

Yeosang thought for a little bit before asking “Do you want to watch a movie with me?” He saw the panic start in your eyes and he quickly continued, “At my place. We don’t have to go anywhere.”

You breathed a deep sigh of relief and nodded your head. The both of you silently cleaned up after yourselves before making your way to Yeosang’s apartment, holding hands along the way.

As soon as you walked into Yeosang’s apartment you were greeted with Wooyoung and Yunho sitting in the living room, still playing their game. Wooyoung without looking up from the television yelled out, “How was your date, McSteamy?!”

Yeosang didn’t respond and it didn’t look like he had any intention of responding - he was simply taking off his shoes and putting on his house slippers. He also had no idea how to respond to his best friend calling him McSteamy. A blushing Yeosang ran off to his room to get you a pair of guest slippers, leaving you momentarily alone in the doorway.

“Uhm, it went well?” You offered.

At the sound of your voice, both Wooyoung and Yunho paused their game and turned to face you. Their attention on you was a little too much to handle and you could feel your cheeks burning up. Just as you were hoping the earth would open and swallow you up, Yeosang emerged from somewhere down the hall with a pair of slippers for you to use.

“Don’t mind them,” Yeosang said as he helped you change your shoes. “They’re just a couple of meerkats.” He offered you his hand as he led you away from the door and toward his bedroom. Wooyoung and Yunho were again, too stunned to speak.

A few seconds later, you found yourself in Yeosang’s room. It was smaller than you’d imagine but large enough that he could fit a full bed, a desk with a decent computer setup, and a small set of free weights. Looking around the room you noticed the wall-hung mirror by the door and small piles of clothes sprinkled throughout his room. There was one shelf off to the side that had several drones and their various accoutrement on display. But all in all, it was just so normal.. Not at all what you would expect from an idol.

You turned to Yeosang and found him trying to clean up the piles of clothes as quickly as possible without you noticing. It was incredibly cute. You opened your mouth to say something but just as you were about to, you heard loud noises coming from the living room.

“Oh! Gee, Wooyoung! I sure am hungry! Maybe we should get some food!” Yunho yelled as he loudly stomped toward the door.

“Yes, my dearest friend Yunho! We! Should! Eat!” Wooyoung called out. He was so loud you could hear his throat scratch at the end of every word. You then heard the both of them loudly put on their shoes and just as loudly open and slam the door close.

Yeosang held up a finger and did the universal ‘hold on a sec’ motion before disappearing out of his bedroom door. Moments later you heard Yeosang, Wooyoung, and Yunho bickering as Yeosang actually kicked them out of the apartment. You also could have sworn you heard the click of a door lock.

Seconds later, Yeosang was back in his room and apologizing profusely. “I’m so sorry about them. Raised by wild wolves, I tell ya.”

“Nah, they’re kinda funny.. they remind me of my cousins.”

In the quiet that spread out from the empty apartment, the two of you felt the weight of being alone. Every fiber in your being wanted to bridge the gap between you and Yeosang but your feet were planted firmly in the floor. You couldn’t move or speak or do anything really. Your thoughts were consumed with the realization that you were alone with Yeosang. In his room.

But to Yeosang this was everything that he wanted. You looked absolutely adorable in the dim lighting of his bedroom and he wanted nothing more than to make you feel comfortable. So! He turned on his computer and started looking for a movie the both of you could watch. You walked over to stand behind him and watched as he scrolled through his extensive movie library.

“Oh! I haven’t seen that one!” You pointed to a title on the screen - The Princess Bride.

“As you wish,” Yeosang smiled coyly and quicker than you could imagine, he pulled you into his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist. You giggled and tried to wriggle free but it was no use - Yeosang was incredibly strong and incredibly stubborn. You were going to sit on his lap and that was that.

Considering how muscular he was, sitting in Yeosang’s lap was surprisingly comfortable. He was also very warm. Being in his arms was like wearing a heated weighted blanket - it immediately comforted and relaxed you. You adjusted yourself on his lap so you could rest your head on his shoulder and Yeosang could rest his cheek on the side of your head. He started the movie and the both of you fell into yet another comfortable silence.

The combination of you sitting on his lap and the fact that he’s seen this movie more than he’d like to admit, made it very difficult for Yeosang to focus on the film. All he could think about was how close the curves of your body were to his; the way your shampoo smelled; and how soft your skin was. He adjusted the hold he had on your waist so he only had one arm wrapped around you, the other was resting on the top of your thigh.

This being the first time you’d ever seen The Princess Bride, you found yourself completely immersed within the first five minutes. And so it took a moment or two to realize that Yeosang was playing with the hem of your skirt - dragging the tips of his fingers across the sensitive skin of your thighs, watching the way the pleats of your skirt react as he slowly starts sliding his hand underneath your skirt. Not too far. But enough that it made you shift in Yeosang’s lap ever so slightly.

You took a big gulp of air and tried to focus on the movie but then, you felt Yeosang press his lips to your temple in the softest kiss imaginable. You shifted in his lap once more and found that Yeosang was holding you in place, making it very difficult to move about. He smiled as he pressed another kiss to your face, this time closer to your cheek. You wanted more of his kisses so you tilted your head to the side and allowed Yeosang more access to your face, neck, and shoulder.

He obliged and started leaving a trail of soft sweet kisses from your cheek, to the shell of your ear, all along your neck, and down the line of your shoulder. Each press of his lips against your body was so gentle you didn’t even know if he kissed you. The sweetness of his kisses paired with the delicate caresses of his fingers on your inner thighs was driving you insane. You wanted something firmer, something harder. So you rolled your hips into his, hoping to feel the excitement between his legs.

Yeosang breathed out a shaky moan into the curve of your neck before rocking his hips back into yours. You immediately arched your back and pushed into him, yearning to feel his body against yours. But it was no use - the thickness of your clothes prevented any kind of relief. So you settled for Yeosang’s delightfully soft kisses along your neck and his delightfully soft touches along your inner thigh.

At this point he was so close to the center of your thighs, the only thing separating his fingers from your core was a thin piece of fabric and a very hard thought. Feeling brazen, you reached under your skirt and moved his hand to the center of your thighs. Yeosang paused for just a moment before his fingers started playing with your pussy through your panties.

The pleasure was immediate but brief - his touches were so sweet and gentle, it felt like he was barely touching you. So you pressed his fingers harder against your panties and even began rubbing small circles using his own fingers. You couldn’t help but moan as the first wave of pleasure rippled through your body.

With your guidance, Yeosang started playing with you the way you liked. He continued to kiss up and down your neck and shoulder until you were on the very edge of an orgasm. As the pleasure began mounting and your breathing got shakier, Yeosang dipped his index and middle finger underneath your panties and started pleasing your clit. As soon as Yeosang pressed his fingers to your wet pussy the release was immediate. You gripped the arms of the chair as the orgasm washed over your body.

Yeosang continued to kiss your neck and shoulder as you came down from the high. He loosened his grip on your waist and brushed away the hair from your face. When you finally made eye contact with him, his gaze was just as gentle as ever. That’s when you kissed him. A soft thing that was just as sweet as his previous kisses. You could feel Yeosang smile into the kiss as he brought up a hand and cupped your cheek.

As the kiss deepened, Yeosang’s hand traveled down your cheek to your neck to your shoulder and then finally your tits. His hand massaged and played with your tits over your sweater. You moaned into his mouth and this only made Yeosang want to play with your breasts even more. He squeezed and grabbed at your tits until you could feel the excitement building in between your legs.

Yeosang wrapped you extra tight in his arms, stood up, and made his way towards his bed. Once on his bed, the both of you adjusted so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed and you were sitting on his lap facing him, with your legs on either side. The both of you resumed your sweet slow kisses while Yeosang’s hands traveled underneath your sweater. The warmth of his hands on your body caused you to moan into his mouth.

As the kiss deepend you felt your hips rock into his - oh, how you wanted to feel his body on yours. So you broke the kiss and quickly took off Yeosang’s shirt and sweater vest. Even in this dim lighting there was no denying that it wasn’t just his face that was sculpted by gods, his body as well.

Yeosang just as eagerly removed your top and bra, staring at your body with his own sense of wonder and disbelief - how dare you hide such a pair of perfect tits underneath a frumpy sweater! Yeosang licked his lips and immediately started kissing your exposed chest while his hands fondled your breasts. You sighed another moan and let Yeosang explore your body.

As Yeosang continued to play with your tits, you rolled your hips into his once more. This time Yeosang grunted in response and bucked his hips into yours, hard. He paired it with a perfectly timed bite to your nipple that caused you to scream out in pleasure. Unable to take it anymore, you slid your hands down to the front of Yeosang’s jeans and hurriedly pulled out his hardened dick.

Yeosang pulled away from your tits to watch as you began to pump his dick with your hands. He leaned back onto his elbows and just watched as your hands expertly moved up and down the full length of his prick. Yeosang was getting even harder, if possible, as he watched your tits bounce up and down with every stroke.

His breathing was replaced with low grunts and his hips moved in time with your hands as he eagerly chased after his own orgasm. Just as some of his shallower breaths were replaced with whimpers he pulled your hands off of him, “Come here..” Yeosang managed between heavy breaths. You were about to stand up to pull off your skirt and undies when Yeosang said, “Leave them on.”

You looked up at Yeosang through half-lidded eyes and adjusted yourself so your entrance was lined up with his girthy cock. You breathed out slowly as you lowered yourself onto his dick. He was just so big and you were so tight. You watched as Yeosang bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes watching as your skirt completely obscured his view of his dick sliding into your pussy. Not being able to watch, only being able to feel drove Yeosang fucking crazy, in the best way possible.

Once Yeosang was completely inside of you, you took a deep breath and several moments to adjust to the feeling. Slowly, you raised your hips and then lowered them back down until you were able to develop a rhythm that felt good for the both of you. Yeosang placed his hands on your hips and helped you ride him.

The feeling of riding his thick cock was incredible. You could feel the pleasure mounting in your core as his big dick filled you up. Yeosang’s pleasure was also increasing - he gripped your hips harder and started really bucking his hips into yours, creating a lovely rhythm where every time you pulled away, he was there to slam right back into your pussy.

Bouncing up and down his dick, you throw your head back in pleasure as your second orgasm starts building. You quicken the pace and Yeosang is there to reciprocate it - holding you in place so he could fuck you better. He was starting to build up a sweat and you knew he wouldn’t last much longer. His breathing was getting ragged and his grunts becoming more frequent.

The both of you announce your orgasms at the same time as the waves of pleasure wash over both of you. You pulled off Yeosang’s dick just as he made a mess all over his stomach. As the both of you catch your breath, Yeosang is quick to pull you into a hug and kiss the top of your head, “Happy Birthday.”

#ateez fanfic #ateez smut #yeosang #x reader #x y/n smut #x you #soft smut #soft hours #smut #yeosang x reader

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marshmallowprotection · 5 months ago

Note

Hello! This is my first mysme ask so I'm very nervous haha.

I wanted to jump in on the VAE talk, but it has nothing to do with Saeran! What I don't like about the VAE is...the difference in V himself.

I don't think I have a good grasp on his character. It's difficult for someone like me to want to even try to understand him after some of the things he's done! It feels as if the VAE forces us to be in a position of being forgiving and understanding of Rika and her abuse towards Saeran for him to be happy...and that's very strange to me? Because, V, in VAE works to help Saeran while simultaneously you only get the good ending with him if you're explicitly "okay with" what she did to him?

I think either version of Another Story V is a frustrating character to delve into! Its easy to look at him and think "wow he spouts off about caring about his friends and caring about saeran but when it all comes down to it, he only cares about this one person that hurt everyone else he claims to care for"

Ray AE V and VAE V are very hard to adapt to because of this, I think? :/ Character analysis for these types are not my strong suit clearly. I know there's more to V than this, but it's hard to look past his "be okay with forgiving an abuser for me to be happy with you (VAE) or be okay with me going alongside this abuser while guilt tripping you to understand her (Ray AE)" type thing.

I think I at least understand Rika as a character better than him to be quite honest.

Let me preface this by saying that V's After Ending is a mess. It's a hot mess and it does a major disservice to Jihyun Kim in more ways than one. A lot of people really don't believe this because Saeran is my favorite character, but Jihyun is my third favorite character right behind Saeyoung. His After Ending hurts in more ways than one due to what happens in terms of forgiveness and judgement.

The game forces you into a corner and shames you if you decide to judge Rika Kim for her actions. I cannot tell you how triggering the Judgement Ending is, not only for myself, but for many others who played it. I don't suggest anyone play that ending if they don't think they can stomach being told it's "their fault Rika is suffering for them not forgiving Rika."

Nope.

It's not our job or obligation to forgive Rika Kim.

If you choose to forgive her, great, but why are we, as the players, being told that the only way to achieve the Good Ending, because, let's face it, the forgiveness ending is the real GOOD ENDING, is by being told to forgive Rika no matter how you feel about it. Cannot tell you how angry I was when that happened, and I know plenty of other people were just as upset.

When the VAE first came out, I can remember people emailing Cheritz and telling them why telling people they need to forgive another person isn't okay. I can't believe that's something that's gotta be explained. But, we live in a world where people tell us we need to forgive, forget, and get over our pain, no matter how large or small very often, and people don't think about those who don't want to ever forgive the people who hurt them or the people they love.

That's the one thing I love about Saeran's After Ending. The RAE doesn't mince words with anyone about affirmed choice. You get choices in the RAE to decide what you want in terms of forgiveness, and by God, the other characters do, too. You get to decide what you want, Saeran gets to decide what he wants, and the RFA gets to pick what they want, and you know what's great?

NOBODY'S JUDGED FOR CHOOSING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. IT IS THAT EASY.

You are not being forced to forgive Rika in the RAE. I don't know where people get that thought. If anything, you get to tell her the truth of how you feel her for her multiple times, and the only time that the player is "nice" to her is near the end of the RAE where you speak to her to find out where Saeran is, and honestly, you can read into that as "I'm pretending to be nice because I need to find Saeran before he dies" or, if you decide to embrace Rika and forgive her on your own, you can do that and then find Saeran.

But, you're not being forced one way or another to forgive Rika here. But, in Jihyun's After Ending, you are baited into forgiving her to not get the ending that tells you that you're to blame for Rika suffering in the hospital for not forgiving her. That's being kicked for choosing to do what you want, and that's WRONG.

Jihyun himself confesses that he knows he's in the wrong with Rika in the RAE. He's given up on himself, though. He decides he has to keep his promise no matter what. That's the difficult part for most people to swallow.

His mentality is: "I need to save her because of my promise, but I also made a promise to Saeyoung, so I need to keep both of my promises even if that makes my a villain." This is not okay. This isn't healthy. It's not ever going to be okay and he knows it's not okay. He just... wants to be a savior even if it's self-destructive.

I don't like that Jihyun is hardly in his own After Ending. It focuses on judgement and forgiveness of Rika. I would've preferred to spend all my time focusing on Jihyun instead of playing a losing situation with the RFA. We had to face Rika no matter what because she is more or less the main reason why the game exists, but V's After Ending had no business being as focused on her as much as it was.

Because, in moments we do see with V, I enjoy those, because I see him reflecting and growing in as a person, not perfect, nobody's ever going to be perfect, but he was trying, and for someone who stopped trying a long time ago, it's hopeful to know that he's decided to try his hand at life once again without succumbing to self-destruction as we often see him do.

Jihyun Kim is a character that a lot of people have a hard time understanding, so if you feel like you haven't gotten a grasp on who he is as a person, I think that's understandable. Rika Kim is up there, too. I like to understand what brought them to the point they're at in the game, and sometimes, there are people who think that I do that to find excuses for their actions. I don't.

I don't find reasons to explain their actions because I want to excuse them. I want to understand as best as I can why they got to that point in the first place. Understanding someone doesn't mean you excuse their actions. It means you have better insight as to why they do what they do, and even then, understanding why someone got somewhere in life doesn't mean you'll understand their choices. It just means you see their explanation, their excuses, their reasoning, and knowing the in's and out doesn't mean you condone what they did.

It just means you learned who they are and how they feel. I know why Jihyun and Rika react the way they do at times, but I don't agree with it or excuse it. I get angry because I see them walking down a path of torture, hatred, and pain. I see them stand at the precipice of choice, and chose to ignore reality in favor of another route, and I get angry, and disappointed. Because, especially in the case of Jihyun, he was so close to making the right decision in Ray Route, but he decided to turn away from it.

Jihyun Kim regressed from making any personal progress because he saw Saeran and MC do what he and Rika seemingly did not. That is that, it's important to understand that V/Rika and Saeran/MC are narrative foils. If you want to see toxic, unhealthy codependency as it sinks deeper and deeper into a pit, look no further than V and Rika. If you want to see a couple who're trying to be individuals but also value communicating with their partner before they leap, that's Saeran and MC.

V and Rika make choices that feed into the worst parts of each other and they don't stop even when they know they could. Jihyun admits it himself in the RAE. He thinks that he has no choice but to keep his promise he made to Rika, even though he knew it wasn't healthy for him, or Rika, for that matter. Jihyun believes in his heart that he can't abandon Rika even if he wants to, because he hasn't overcome that grief in his heart over his mother's death.

He hurt his mother when he was a teenager, and he never had the chance to make it up to her or apologize. His mother died protecting him. She gave her life to save his. He thinks that love requires a sense of selfless sacrifice no matter what, that he needs to a Savior or even God to make up for his mother's death. He sees beauty in Rika's pain, she's his muse, and she looks upon him like a God for very long time. He relishes in that, because it helps him feel better about his trauma.

Jihyun was everything she wanted to be because she didn't want to be herself. She idolized Jihyun Kim. She was obsessed with him. It's just that her obsession was different than his. She wanted to become him, in every sense of word, so she would no longer have to Rika Kim. It's written in her diary that you can get from the Special Believer box.

Rika and V's love was built on infatuation, obsession, and the hurt two people had from their childhoods that had not yet healed. They helped each other "cope" but the way they "coped", was only further serving as a means to destroy both of them. I think the visual novel on Day 9 does a good job of having V express his clarity on this fact, and Rika's vehement denial of it, though, it's still messy since V isn't out of the thick of it.

This is just the start of his acceptance journey and he stills chooses to protect Rika after she stabs him at the end of this scene. It's not perfect, but... you can see the lightbulb going off.

Rika herself lives in denial within the confines of the game, and she can only face reality there is when the truth about Mother Choi is revealed. I don't know if people really grasp this at first without sitting down and looking at all the details, but Rika killed Mother Choi in self-defense. The scene is shown to us as Rika would've imagined it, and given that Rika thinks of herself as the devil, it's easy to think she did it without a second thought.

That scene plays out as Rika viewing herself as a devilish murderer who killed in cold blood.

But, that moment when she killed Mother Choi was the moment she gave up on trying to ever see herself as anything but the devil. Do you know what the strange thing is? I never once considered over all the years I've played this game that Jihyun was there with her that night, but he was. He confirmed he was there that night.

That means both he and Rika are bonded with the agonizing fact that Mother Choi is dead because of Rika, self defense or not, and they're the ones who likely had to get rid of her body or even tamper with the crime scene to protect the twins. Murder is a heavy act to carry and I know it's easy for us to joke about wishing harm onto others, but to be a person who has taken another person's life is... I cannot begin to imagine what that feels like.

I know some people feel guilt for the rest of their lives, even if the person they hurt was a bad person. Because, a life is a life, and even if you protect yours and the people you loved, you feel shameful for what you've done. My trying to understanding how that effected Rika is in no way condoning the creation of Mint Eye or the abuse of not only Ray and Saeran, but countless others, it's just another piece of the puzzle to understanding why Rika is the way she is.

Because, hey, cool tragic backstory, still murder!

But, knowing how that fact really bleeds into Jihyun's Savior complex gets you a much broader understanding of why he won't leave Rika in most situations even if that's the correct and right choice for not only him, or her, but quite frankly, literally everyone else.

Jihyun wanted to save his mother from death. He couldn't do that. He wanted to save her because she saved him, and he's wandering life with this idea that love is built on selfless sacrifice no matter the circumstance because he thinks that's what love is. Love is throwing your life away to protect the people you care about. Which, that's not what his mother's sacrifice was about. She died protecting him, but... she never would've wanted him to believe that love is about sacrifice.

She died protecting him of her own accord, that's correct, but that doesn't mean Jihyun has to spend the rest of his life trying to prove to himself that his mother's sacrifice was worth it by sacrificing his mind, heart, body, and soul all the time.

That's what he has to learn to heal.

I sometimes think the game isn't as heavy-handed as it could be to help people understand that this is what's going on inside his head, because a lot of this detail work comes from venturing out into every piece of media you can own from this game and really sitting down to put your head into what you're reading.

It can be hard for people to understand him or to even want to understand because you get frustrated with his choices. After all, they are so self-destructive. Not only are they destructive to him, they end up being harmful to everyone around him, and that's not okay. Watching him is like watching somebody shoot themselves in the foot.

He doesn't always make the best decisions, and as you get to learn more about him, you realize that he knows he can do better but he doesn't do better for himself. I think that's an aspect of his character that makes him very human, but because it makes him so human, it's easy to be upset with him. You know he can do better and you want him to do better. It leads to a sense of disappointment in him.

People like him do exist, to an extreme degree and to a lesser degree, and I can relate to him in many ways which is why I think it's easier for me to empathize and relate to him as a person. But, it's because I do understand him so intimately that I get angry with him. I get so angry because I know he can do better than what he's doing, and it places a mirror in front of me when I make poor decisions.

As frustrating as he can be at times, he's helped me a lot as a person, and in some regard, I want to help people understand what he's like beyond being upset with him if anyone ever wants to learn about him in any way.

Understanding him will never mean I condone his choices. I can't believe I have to say this so many times, but if I don't reiterate this simple fact, people seem to misconstrue what I'm saying. I like to understand and learn why people do the things they do, but I am right there with everyone else here who is judging and holding them accountable for their actions. I want to have some answers, and even if having those answers doesn't explain anything, I feel better being able to have them.

You know how Saeran feels a little better once he's able to talk to his abusers? He needed to be able to hear what brought them to the point they are standing at today. He needed to know why they were the way they were so that he could learn how to forgive himself. He copied Rika, his Mother, and Saejoong specifically to make himself feel powerful in Mint Eye because that's what he was told to do, he invoked their words and actions against innocent people, believers and even the MC.

He feels better confronting them and having an explanation from their lips even if it's not an answer that explains why people would be needlessly cruel to an innocent person. He's not looking for excuses, he's not looking for them to give him some tragic backstory that makes everything okay, he's looking into their eyes and choosing kindness when they themselves never choose kindness towards him.

He is facing them so that he can face himself.

Forgiving them is about learning how to forgive himself. It's not about making them feel better, and it's certainly not about letting them into his life. He has those conversations with them as a parting gesture. He's never going to meet with them ever again, but that was how he decided he would find peace for himself.

Would you do the same if you were in his shoes? I don't think I would, I don't think I can ever forgive the people who hurt me, no, I know I'll never forgive them, but Saeran chose what felt right for him and I will not fault him for that.

I will never shame him for choosing what felt right for his healing journey. He forgave them so he could forgive himself and I'm glad that he had the opportunity to make that choice and not a damn person told him not to do what felt right for him. I don't forgive Rika, and I don't forgive V for what happened in the RAE, but, I'm glad to know Saeran got his peace and that he won't judge me for what I feel.

Sometimes, you want an explanation, even if it only proves that those people don't have remorse for what they did. At least, for some folks, having that proof can he helpful. It helps you feel like walking away is the right choice for you and you did what felt right. If you don't want an explanation, if you don't want to hear it, don't seek one.

Walk away and find peace another way.

It's your life, choose what feels right for you and find peace your way.

Wow, I went off a little here, but... I think it's important to note that these characters are complex and it's easy to take away one thing about them when there is so much going on... especially with Jihyun who hasn't always been favored by company and ends up getting the short end of the stick even in his own route. He and Rika can be very frustrating for most players because nobody wants to deal with their back and forth.

I hope this helped give you a little more insight on him. It's always fun to talk about him, contrary to popular belief. Thank you for your question! I hope you feel comfortable asking more!

#character analysis #flower-asriel #ask #mod kait #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #rika kim #kim rika #ONCE AGAIN I BEG OF MANY OF YOU TO NOT ASSUME MY UNDERSTANDING OF THESE CHARACTERS MEANS I CONDONE THEIR BULLSHIT #I DO NOT #mysticmessenger #mm #mysme #mystic messenger

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hermitknut · 4 months ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

@birdylion tagged me :D

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

56.

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

440,219

3. what fandoms do you write for?

There've been quite a few over the years. Currently Goblin Emperor (slightly on the back burner while I unkink my writer's block) and Hands of the Emperor (just started dabbling, nothing posted yet). Before that Merlin, Green Rider, Realm of the Elderlings, Doctor Who, and Harry Potter predominantly, with little dips into Discworld, Sherlock, Sweep, Supernatural, Percy Jackson, Lady Trent, Life on Mars, Old Kingdom, Life on Mars, and MASH. I have some Narnia stuff kicking about in my drafts somewhere, and while I've never posted it I've been writing Animorphs fanfic for years.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Stairs Beneath the Heart: Goblin Emperor, a series of vignettes that runs parallel to the canon that I posted through the start of the pandemic and really enjoyed. It was the first time in ages I'd had a regular posting schedule, and the first time ever I'd had that much fandom attention on something I was writing - everyone was so lovely <3.

Take These Tower Stones: Goblin Emperor, the sequel to the above, a much more coherent and consistent story which everyone was again really supportive of <3

What Friends Are For: Discworld; Angua gives Vetinari the shovel talk. There's a big disparity in the stats between the previous two fics and the rest, so these last three were a surprise to me! I'm glad people liked them though :)

Fire in the Night: Merlin, somewhat angsty nightmare/comfort oneshot. Again, surprised to see this one so near the top, but pleasantly so.

The Michen Emperor: Goblin Emperor again, currently the bane of my existence because I can't seem to finish it (I will eventually, just need to unstick my brain). Really appreciate all the love people have shown it. Basically, what if canon but with smol!Maia.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably either Take These Towers Stones, or Red Sky (which is a tiny little snippet of fluff).

8. do you get hate on fics?

I've had a few shitty comments, and mostly I've just deleted them. I've never had any extended hate campaigns or anything, just people who mistakenly thought their dislike was worth expressing.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Occasionally; usually though not always queer, normally pretty tame. I read smut usually without worrying about the warnings, but I'm a bit too shy to comment on it, and I think that extends to my writing, haha. Maybe I'll get the hang of it some day :)

10. do you write crossovers?

Nah, for some reason they don't work for me at all - almost a squick, I don't read them either. The closest I got was considering a fic where the characters from Green Rider had diplomatic contact with the characters from the Chronicles of Ixia series, but I never ended up getting there.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so - I should probably put in my Ao3 that people are welcome to if they like, I keep forgetting. I'd be honoured if anyone wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope; I'm very picky and not good at compromise, though it's something I'd like to work on one day. It'd have to be very low stakes and with someone very patient!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Lines of Silver and Gold (Realm of the Elderlings) is probably my oldest fic that is both posted and unfinished, and I have no current plans to work on it. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to come back to it, but that book series was my thesis topic and unfortunately I rather burnt myself out on it, so it might be a long while.

The Queen Rider series was originally going to have two more fics, but those have been scrapped; fortunately it resolves quite nicely as is. Maybe I will put up a little misc fic with what I do have of the rest some day.

And on a more positive note, my Animorphs fic - it was originaly going to be a full written-through story spanning a considerable post-canon period, but unfortunately I lost the original in a harddrive failure and while I rewrote some of it I rather lost my enthusiasm for it. However, I have been reconsidering lately and might post what exists as a series of loosely connected vignettes; we'll see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue is what I find easy and what I've received the most compliments on; I think this is because a lot of my fic is drafted "out loud" before I get anywhere near setting it to page, so the first iteration is often predominantly speech. I'm also often told I'm good at mimicking the tone of the canon, if I'm writing for a book fandom.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Research (I'll do it if it's something that will otherwise potentially hurt people, but other than that I have neither the effort nor the inclination), and making things messy - that is, I tend to tidy things up a lot and I'm not good at letting my characters get things wrong/communicate badly/etc. Good for fix-its, less good for creating challenges in the story.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am depressingly monolingual so I don't do it in my fics; as to what everyone else does I think they should have fun and do whatever they like, I suppose. Not enough knowledge to have more of an opinion than that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter was my gateway fandom.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ohhhh tough one. I'm immensely proud of the Keystone series (The Stairs Beneath the Heart and Take These Tower Stones), so they're solid candidates, but I also really like The Shadow of the Mountains (Lady Trent) and Miracles (Realm of the Elderlings), the latter of which contains possibly my favourite line of prose I've written.

I'm tagging @the-tao-of-fandom, @pipuhattar, @alittlefellowinawideworld, @nonasuch, and anyone else who'd like to answer!

#in which hermitknut is herself #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #ask game

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pockysquirrel · 8 months ago

Note

You have in fact been saved from having to think about our beloved nemesis Inoue because I just remembered something older:

Hongo/Ichimonji, OG and Shin versions, compare and contrast? (And any other versions you happen to have encountered)

(Also totally agree Kaguragi-shipping contains unexplored possibilities, as much as I love his backstabbing games with Racles. Himeno, Rita and Jeramie would all be very strong dynamics)

(I'm glad you're doing this ask thing because it's fun chatting to you, disabled replies etc (which to be clear--very sensible in this hell world) would normally mean bombarding you with more asks would be the only way of directly replying haha)

OH MAN I AM FAILING AT TUMBLR

I read this and couldn't figure out why you couldn't reply...the problem was, evidently, we weren't mutuals. Do I know why? Nope. 🤦 Anyway, fixed that and adjusted my settings, because I do like replies, just not from randos.

ANYWAY!

All forms of Hongo/Ichimonji are valid and good! It makes sense and I am compelled by it! I am QUITE compelled by it. But you asked for more analysis and I can't do that while actively drooling, so let's mop up and proceed.

The KR71 version of the pairing, true originators of love in the 1970s, are one of those ships (and these are among my favorite kinds) that gives you a lot to think about in relatively little content. It's not often you get both Riders in the same place at the same time, but when you do, it instantly feels like a big deal. Obviously because it signals that the stakes are rising in the story, but also because, IMO, of the chemistry they have with each other. I point out the coin flip scene in the Sakurajima arc as an obvious example, but there are more.

Then I found out they have a canonical telepathic bond and basically catapulted into full fandom mode. There really are few things more intimate than the ability to touch minds.

And speaking of the types of weird intimacy you can only find in genre fiction, I must of course mention the manga, and one page thereof that has lived rent-free in my brain since the day I read it. The characterization is different here - for Ichimonji in particular - and it affects how they relate to each other in a way I don't care for as much. But come on. These guys got to share a body! Their minds joined together, all of their senses experienced as one! And that's incredibly sexy! (I wrote fic about that. And it takes A Lot for me to be into something enough to surpass my hangups and write smut.)

Which brings me to Shin, and the literal flailing meltdown I had in the movie theater when I saw my favorite manga page replicated in exact detail. These poor guys. They both wear their emotional wounds much more openly than their 71 counterparts, but they are also much more visibly healed by each other. This version I think offers the best example of how much of a relief it can be to find someone who shares your experiences, your pain, and to realize you aren't alone.

I love Shin KR dearly, wouldn't change a thing, so this is much more me lamenting the constraints of a feature film format than it is an actual complaint. I wish we had more time to see the Double Riders getting to know each other. But hey, that leaves plenty of room for fic, and I am more than good with that.

I've seen First/Next twice now and my brain still tries to pretend those movies don't exist most of the time. We'll leave it at that.

#ship it #ship it good #this is a lot of words #probably one of those topics i could have written an actual term paper on if i were still in my 20s #but im not so you'll have to settle for brainspew #seriously thank you for asking me this #kamen rider #kamen rider 1971 #shin kamen rider #do these guys have a ship tag?#fuck it we ball

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missoblaine · 8 months ago

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Tag Game!

Yay tag game! I was tagged by @evaofkonoha and I am tagging @shameless-fujoshi to do this (if you want to haha).

Are you named after anyone?

Nope! I like my name though 😊

What sports have you played?

If dancing counts as a sport then I danced for about fifteen years quite intensely! Otherwise, no. I dislike sports so much actually 😣 I used to pretend to be sick to get out of PE at school. I don't like the physicality and conflict and outside-ness of many sports. I am a squishy little indoors person!

Do you use sarcasm?

Yes! It is why writing in Sasuke's voice is easier for me than writing in Naruto's.

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmm, I don't meet new people often actually. I think in general, I am not very good at reading people and it takes me a while to properly make friends. I think both online and IRL, I notice someone's way of speaking/writing/communicating. Their tone and voice and word choice etc.

What's your eye colour?

Very dark brown.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I can't do scary movies eeek. Thrillers, I can do, and I enjoy watching people play scary games sometimes, but horror is too much for me. In general movies are kind of overwhelming for me, I don't watch many of them!

So by default, I guess I like happy endings? I do think for me to enjoy them they have to be purposeful and earned (not necessarily by the characters but by the story).

Any talent?

Writing! While it has ebbed and flowed in its presence over the course of my life, it has always been with me in some form and I am proud of how I have grown with it, especially in the last two years. I am a pretty fast reader as well so I guess that's another one?

What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, board games, and occasionally crafting things (sewing, crochet, painting miniatures).

Do you have any pets?

My partner has a dog!

How tall are you?

155cm. I am pretty short lol.

Dream job?

I am honestly quite happy with my current job (board game adjacent, relatively not stressful, lets me play with spreadsheets lol). I think my dream job is just not working tbh or doing something just mentally stimulating enough but not stressful and getting paid well for it! 😅 Isn't that the dream?

I will say, I wouldn't want to do any of the creative hobbies I love dearly, especially writing, as a job as I strongly believe it would ruin my love for them.

My answer to this particular question got very long so the rest is under the cut if you are interested in my thoughts. Otherwise, if this is your off ramp - thank you for reading and thank you to @evaofkonoha again for tagging me 🥰

rambling (a.k.a. why i don't want to write as a job)

Even if I worked for myself and got to create the things I wanted, I don't believe I would enjoy it, perhaps simply because it would be a job and it would become something I had to do instead of chose to do. I also believe that whatever I created wouldn't feel truly mine. I think part of the joy of a hobby is getting to do it whenever, however, whyever you want - I value that freedom highly.

For example, if I were to write a novel, even if I wrote it for myself, I would need to, eventually, pitch it to agents/publishers etc and it would always be in the back of my mind that 'this needs to be something that an agent/publisher believes would sell'. Even if I wrote it exactly as I wanted, perhaps someone further down the publishing line would ask for changes to improve its commercial value because, hey, they have to make money too, no? (And perhaps this view is jaded from working in a retail/sales environment for a couple years but if anything, I am even more sure of it now.)

From my time in uni studying creative writing (in which we got some experience pitching short pieces/essays to journals/student publications), I saw the level of ambition needed to succeed in a career like this and I just…don't want that kind of stress to be tied to my finances and living situation. I don't want my ability to be creative (which can wax and wane with the moon, it feels) to be what my paycheck hinges on. Perhaps this is because my creativity is so personal and sacred to me - it is the channel via which my soul interacts with the world - but perhaps it is to everyone? Maybe I am simply very sensitive about it, as I am with many things.

Studying creative writing made me fall out of love with the craft for a couple years, constantly overthinking my words and weighing them against form, content, industry, moral and message. I distinctly remember writing an memoir/essay I was quite proud of part way through my third year (within which I was quite vulnerable about myself) and being disappointed with my final grade on it, as it was so detached from my own personal pride in it. (To be fair though, looking back, it was not as technically sound as I had believed it at the time.)

To be clear, it is not that I wish to create completely void of external input and influence, and I do understand the importance of assessment and external feedback when it comes to developing technical skill! But for the point where I am in my life now, where I have done some formal learning and am starting to realise the infinity and freedom of informal learning, I just think there is a sweet spot where the amount and type of external input/influence is nuturing and kind and motivating and authentic. Too little influence and it can feel like screaming into the void - no resonance. Too much and . . . well, you get the above experience, where it feels like the thing you created as well as the process of creation becomes no longer wholly yours.

For me and what I have learned thus far in my life, my writing is best as this weird wildspace. That's what works for me! And I share my writing online in the purest sense of that word - share - because I want to show this small community something that means something to me, with no kind of transaction behind it. It's just out there, and you're also out there, and if you stumble upon it (or go looking for it) I hope this thing that means something to me means something to you too. I hope it creates resonance with you in this incomprehensible vastness of life.

Um, yeah. That's cool to have that written out and articulated! Thanks for reading 😊

~13/03/2024

#tag game

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coreancitizen · 2 years ago

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2022 Year in Review: My Korean drama recommendations

2022 went by so quickly, and I think that's partly because almost every week I had new episodes of shows to look forward to. I'm a bit of a contradiction: I don't have the patience to wait for a new show to be completed so I could binge it, but I (maybe not-so) patiently wait for episodes every week, haha. TBH, I find I'm more invested in a show and its characters when I watch a drama weekly. And there were so many characters worth the investment in 2022: Woo Young Woo, Queen Im Hwa Ryeong, the Oh sisters, Kim Yumi, Jin Do Jun and Jang Uk, to name a few.

I just want to make clear that, as in previous years, this is by no means a list of the best Korean dramas of 2022. These are merely my favorites among the ones I watched that premiered in 2022 (or ended in 2022).

You can find my previous roundups here:

2021: Year in Review 2020: Year in Review

YUMI'S CELLS 2

New season means new love for Kim Yumi (Kim Go Eun) as she begins a romance with co-worker Yoo Babi following her breakup with video game designer Goo Woong. TBH, I wasn't quite sure how I'd feel about the new pairing — I have a soft spot for Ahn Bo Hyun — but Jinyoung charmed me even before the series started. He and Go Eun have a sweet and natural chemistry that made me root for Yumi and Babi, even knowing how the relationship ended in the webtoon. Another thing I love about the series is its portrayal of Yumi's pursuit of her dream to be a writer — from the frustrations of earlier rejections to keeping it positive while faced with criticisms and the satisfaction of another job (book) well done. That shot of her jumping on the bed toward the end of the series was cathartic and the perfect cap to Yumi's growth. (Viki)

LITTLE WOMEN

This is NOT Louisa May Alcott's famous novel though it does share some themes and puts sisters at the forefront of the story. The Oh sisters — In Joo, In Kyung and In Hye — just want to live a life not steeped in poverty. So when 2 billion won falls on In Joo's lap, their problems are over, right? Nope. A multitude of troubles arrive as the sisters get entangled with a rich, powerful and corrupt family with a lot of unscrupulous allies. This series got me on the edge of my seat from the very first episode and the thrills and tension never let up until the end. I absolutely love how messy and chaotic the sisters and their relationships with each other are. They love but they also fight, annoy and block each other, LOL! Now please cast Kim Go Eun and Wi Ha Joon in an action comedy series or film and give them the ending on the sunny beaches of Greece that their characters deserve. (Netflix)

BULGASAL: IMMORTAL SOULS

This is the first drama that caught my attention last year, a fantasy with monsters, past lives, immortal love and families. It's the story of how the lives of a man (Lee Jin Wook) who was turned into an immortal monster 600 years ago and a woman (Kwon Na Ra) who has been dying and reincarnating for centuries have been intertwined. The world building is quite interesting and the central mystery keeps you guessing until the very end. Keep an eye out for familiar faces as people from the past emerge in the present. (Netflix)

A BUSINESS PROPOSAL

This romcom is adorable with a capital A. Shin Ha Ri (Kim Se Jeong) shows up to a blind date pretending to be her best friend and does her best to turn off a potential match by behaving outrageously. It's a schtick she and her chaebol best friend had cooked up a long time ago to discourage suitors. Unfortunately, the blind date turns out to be Kang Tae Moo (Ahn Hyo Seop), the young president of the food company where she works. And even more unfortunately, he's interested and now wants to marry her! Hilarious chaos ensues, abetted by the couple's adorable best friends (the second couple), her zany family and his kdrama-loving grandfather. You'll never look at an archaeopteryx (bird-like dinosaur) the same way again. (Netflix)

TOMORROW

This is a lovely, heartbreaking, oftentimes cathartic drama about people desperate enough to consider taking their own lives and the team of resolute grim reapers who work very hard to prevent their deaths. Comatose Choi Jun Woong (Rowoon) is the newbie in the Risk/Crisis Management Team led by Koo Ryeon (Kim Hee Sun). Lim Ryung Gyu rounds up the team. Head of the Soul Collection Team Park Joong Gil, despite being a fellow grim reaper, is a thorn on the team's side — he has a special animosity for Ryeon that may have something to do with the past. Fortunately, the team has a stalwart supporter in the Jade Emperor (Kim Hae Sook). (Netflix)

MILITARY PROSECUTOR DOBERMAN

Legal action drama with a touch of comedy is probably the best way to describe this series and it's the perfect leading man vehicle for Ahn Bo Hyun. Do Bae Man passes the bar with basically just a GED and so finds himself unable to find a spot in a decent law firm until he gets an "offer he can't refuse" from corrupt lawyer Yong Moon Go: Serve in the military for five years as a prosecutor and then join his prestigious firm after. The plan is going swimmingly until he crosses paths with another military prosecutor, Cha Woo In (Jo Bo Ah), who is targeting some members of the military brass for revenge after her beloved father's suspicious death. After long-buried secrets begin to emerge, Do Bae Man finds himself reevaluating what it is he really wants to do with his life. (Viki)

EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO

Woo to the Young to the Woo! The series follows Woo Young Woo, a young lawyer on the autism spectrum. She's got a brilliant legal mind, able to see different angles of a case but struggles with day-to-day interactions. Fortunately, she has the people looking out for her, like her dad, her boss/mentor, her law school friend and, of course, the handsome support team member who might just have more than friendship in mind. Park Eun Bin is brilliant as Woo Young Woo, she truly gets you invested in her challenges and triumphs. The legal maneuverings are fairly interesting, especially when they involve a rival law firm and somebody from WYW's past. (Netflix)

ALCHEMY OF SOULS

In the land of Daeho, an assassin trapped in a blind woman's weak body encounters a young lord from a powerful family who needs help to unlock his powers. Interesting lead and supporting characters, solid world-building, fantastic sword and sorcery action? I was sold from the very beginning. At the end of the second ep, I was absolutely in love with the feisty Mudeok and her rather bratty young master/pupil Jang Uk who just wants his gate of energy opened so he can do what everybody can — cast spells and use a sword. There's a twist at the end of the 20-episode first season, and I guess your enjoyment of the second season would largely depend on how much you accept the change. But in both seasons, the crown prince remains quite the scene stealer and he's possibly my most favorite character of all. (Netflix)

UNDER THE QUEEN'S UMBRELLA

A truly female-driven drama — from the queen and the queen dowager down to the concubines and, yes, even the court ladies. The series begins with Queen Hwa Ryeong's biggest problem being the four grand princes' rather relaxed approach to their education, lagging behind the other sons of the king via his numerous scheming concubines. But tragedy strikes and the queen and her sons suddenly find themselves fighting to make sure they don't lose not just their positions but their very lives. Kim Hye Soo makes it so easy to root for the embattled queen who wields her position and her eyebrows skillfully to thwart ministers, concubines and her mother-in-law, the queen dowager. I also love that her sons, the four grand princes, are unlike other royal brothers in sageuks — they are close, affectionate and loyal, leaving the dirty tricks to their half-brothers. This series probably has the most satisfying ending among the ones I watched last year. (Netflix)

REBORN RICH

Yoon Hyun Woo is a hard-working, loyal, no-questions-asked employee of the powerful Jin Family, which controls the Soonyang Group. One day, on an overseas errand to retrieve some secret money, he is betrayed by someone in the family and murdered — but promptly finds himself "waking up" in the body of the youngest grandson of the Jins, back in 1987. How, you ask? I finished the series but that part is still unclear. What's clear is how charismatic and believable Song Joong Ki is as the twentysomething investment whiz Do Jun. And what an amazing actor Lee Sung Min, as Soonyang chairman and patriarch Jin Yang Cheol is. The push-pull in their relationship is what made the series work for 15 episodes. Not that the supporting cast members are slackers. This is one of the best ensembles I've ever seen, the actors really working to make these characters ones you'd love to hate. Some of the business stuff might put off viewers but I found the whole thing fascinating and easily understood. I cheered when Do Jun/Hyun Woo used his knowledge of the future as well as his relatives' greed to take pieces of Soonyang. I'm recommending this series but with a caveat: I found the ending a bit of a mess and rather unsatisfactory. BUT the previous 15 episodes are fantastic and definitely worth a watch. (Viki)

Bonus recommendations

I recently started dipping my toes into Chinese dramas, even though I'm still intimidated by the episode count. "Love Between Fairy and Devil" is sweet and hilarious and has fantastic special effects. (Netflix and Viki)

But my heart truly belongs to Li Wei and the sixth young prince of Xin State as they figure out family, politics and love as their "New Life Begins." (Viki)

Last but certainly not the least, "Pachinko," which even though it stars some of the biggest names in Korean entertainment is not considered K-Drama by its creators. Based on Min Jin Lee's critically acclaimed novel, the series — Youn Yuh Jung, Lee Min Ho and Kim Min Ha are key parts of the ensemble — follows the trial and tribulations of a Korean family over four generations. The story begins in Korea, moves to Japan and eventually spreads to the United States. The story is rich and emotional, the direction precise and the acting superb. It has been recognized in a lot of year-end lists and recently won the Critics Choice Award for best foreign language series. (Apple TV +)

#kdrama reccs #yumi's cells 2 #tvn little women #bulgasal #military prosecutor doberman #mbc tomorrow #a business proposal #extraordinary attorney woo #alchemy of souls #under the queen's umbrella #reborn rich #love between fairy and devil #new life begins #pachinko

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rekikiri · 8 months ago

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1. Rant to me about a book you absolutely hate!!!!!! (For the ask game)

ahhh I’m so glad you picked this one!! Thanks for the ask!

so I don’t have a lot of books I can think of that I hated but the first to come to mind that I hated (and finished) was She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (warning that this got super long so I’m doing a see more for it)

let me preface this that it is my opinion and if you like it that is totally fine!! also spoiler warning

okay for starters, fake dating is something I enjoy quite a bit! I really love fake dating, but I’m usually not a huge fan if it is to make someone else jealous tho which is a big part of Scottie’s motivation, so already off to a bad start.

Scottie is the main character here. Her and irene are supposedly enemies, but the events that make them hate each other are just not comparable to me. The reason Scottie hated Irene was LITERALLY A MISCOMMUNICATION. It would’ve been so quick and easy to clear it up but instead she hated Irene and was so mean to her (explained later)

There’s an incident at the start of the series where there’s a small car accident between the two and Irene needs her car repaired. Irene’s mom insisted that she had to pay for it, and to do so she would’ve likely need to quit cheer to get a job to cover it. So in the meantime, they’re carpooling. Scottie and her girlfriend had broken up not long before the book starts so Scottie offers to pay Irene $1000 to fake date her to make her ex jealous (which is just insane, you are 17 years old, a relationship is not worth it if you are needing to spend money to fake date a pretty girl to make her jealous). They only even broke up because her girlfriend was moved to another school haha not even out of STATE just a little bit away.

Scottie talks about Irene being mean but she really isn’t?? Like Scottie is so much meaner to Irene and is super judgmental.

Here are some examples of things scottie did to Irene (using a book review to confirm my info for this because I read this like 2+ years ago and it just has stuck with me so might be some slight inaccuracies)

1. Tells irene she is “too stupid” and that’s why she didn’t get into an AP class

2. Purposefully makes Irene spill her coffee on herself while driving her to school (then does the stupid ‘name three songs’ thing about the Green Day shirt Irene was wearing)

3. Said its misogynistic that cheerleaders always cheered for the boys sports and told Irene that cheer wasn’t a real sport anyways (multiple times) and insists that she didn’t deserve the student athlete of the year award even tho she worked her ass off to deserve it (and damn if that ain’t some misogynistic bullshit if you ask me)

Here’s a quote I found in the reviews that is a big reason why I fucking hate scottie

"It's not my fault you're so fucking insecure about being a cheerleader or that no one, including your own mother, takes you seriously about it."

That’s just so fucked up, I’m sorry. I would never fucking date her if she said that shit to me

NOT TO MENTION

Wanna know what Irene did that was supposedly so awful?

Had Scottie’s car towed. And it wasn’t even malicious! She accidentally had Scottie’s car towed when she was trying to have someone else’s towed to prevent them from driving drunk after a party they were at. Like if I were Scottie id be pretty pissed but like ? Just make her pay the fucking fee to get it back. Don’t need to be a huge bitch about it. She would’ve known it was an accident too if she just TALKED TO HER, but no, decided Irene was her worst enemy ever

And we find out about what happened after Scottie kissed her ex at a party after her and irene are sorta getting together for real, and brings the car issue up when irene is upset with her for it. Like I’m sorry you’re only going to bring up the awful “oh you towed my car” thing when you just kissed your ex when you’re with her??? Nope not comparable whatsoever I’m sorry

AND when she asked Irene to fake date her, Irene wasn’t out!! She was out to her family but Scottie really put her in a shitty situation with her offer. She either had to get a job and quit cheer (which if I remember correctly was how she planned to get a college scholarship!!!) OR she could fake date this mean girl for money and out herself in the process. I hated that and that’s only the smallest of things

Small thing too is that apparently the book was set where I live?? Funny that it even mentions where they are from because I have not a single memory of any specific thing that would make me think it is set here haha

Anyways yeah if you made it this far, thank you for hearing my bitchy book thoughts. I cannot think of a single other book that I’ve read start to finish that I dislike enough to say this much about it (I’m very good at knowing if ill hate a book before I start it and I’m very easy to please as is)

#ask game #yes-I-exist-shutup ask

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purplesurveys · 10 months ago

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1792

Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Sure. I've always been petite so when I'm gifted or handed down clothes that are a bit too large on me, I have them altered when I have the time.

Do you watch Degrassi? If so, what do you think about it? I've never watched Degrassi but I'm quite familiar since I used to have an internet friend who was otherwise obsessed.

Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? For the most part, yeah. Enthusiastic greeting is in my Filipino DNA, lol.

What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? Nothing, to be honest. Whipped cream doesn't even taste like anything lol and while I don't have anything bad to say about it, it's also not really value-adding taste-wise.

How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I'm not sure tbh...5 minutes? 10 minutes? I should pay attention to where we have fire hydrants around here haha.

Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘moustache’? Nah, definitely not since the early 2010s.

When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Nope.

Are you able to play the harmonica? Do you ever want to take lessons? I don't know how to play it expertly, though it also doesn't sound like something for which I'd be interested in taking lessons.

If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? Rare steak and in burgers. That's about it. I'm not a big beef fan.

How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? Continued from who know when? If I'm marrying them I would assume I would have also already accepted becoming a mom.

Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? I've heard of it many times before but don't think I ever played it. I played tons of many other knockoff rollercoaster games though.

What foods go good with radishes? I usually have pickled radish on the side when I have jjajangmyeon.

When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I don't cook, but when my parents cook and use onions it does sting a lot, to the point that it would be unbearable to be downstairs for a few moments.

How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? I don't know but generally my track record isn't great. I could do close to a minute to a little over, and I know others could do much better.

When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I wouldn't remember specifics but I'm sure I would've still been in the single-digit ages.

Would you rather have a loaf of bread or meat loaf right now? Bread. Meatloaf looks so nasty.

Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? Nah, I've learned to embrace being smaller than average haha. Filipinos are also short anyway so even though I'm only barely 5'2", I don't stand out.

Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? It's the only way I eat my fries, if not on their own.

What are the oldest pair of pants you still wear? How old are they? I have a pair of high-waist denim jeans that I've had since like college.

Did your last significant other have a huge temper? They did if you called them out because apparently they're incapable of making any mistakes and shouldn't be criticized ever.

What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? An upcoming event we're supposed to be planning for.

What is your opinion on Indonesia? Would you ever travel there? How about Syria? Would you ever travel there? Why or why not? I love lndonesian cuisine, and yes I've already been there – I was around 14 and our family took a week-long trip to Bali. I don't have much of an opinion on Syria but don't really plan on heading there.

What are the three events this year you are looking forward to? My birthday, seeing Seventeen next week, and getting Jin and Hobi back from the military.

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dumpster-fire-deluxe · 2 years ago

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Hi there, I've been quietly reading your fics for a while now. I was so happy to see a new update on Dark Devotion, it's one of my favourites! <3 I was just wondering how you ended up getting into Palpatine as a character? There aren't many authors who seem to like him. But, of all the Palpatine authors, you are my favourite! Good luck with the publication stuff, I hope it works out for you. Sincerely, your anon fan <3

Aaww, thank you!! It makes me so happy when people enjoy the fics :D

I think the Darth Plagueis novel was the first push, and I looked up some fics then, but I was still in denial haha

I forgot about it for a while and then there was this domino sequence

Andor's political intrigue led to rewatching the prequels

I was freshly kicked out of therapy with my self-esteem shattered

I'd started a job that I'm underqualified for and thus constantly failing at

My tired brain registered how good Palpatine is at validating people and making them feel good, as well as just having an answer to everything. You can just go "halp I have problem" and he farts out a ten-phase plan. Also, he's wealthy, which is very appealing when you're already tired of working and would quit if you could. And would he insist on neurotypical forms of communication? Nope, which means not having to mask. Cue the first fantasies.

Looked up those fics again. Admitted to myself I enjoyed them. Reread them. Got frustrated that there were so few. All the possibilities, so many scenarios, but no fics.

Wondered if I'd be able to write it and gave it a try

Realized I enjoy writing it and now here we are

There are so few Palpatine-centered fics even without smut, it's strange considering how interesting he is. I'm hoping that shows like The Acolyte might get more people looking into his character (and give us more Palpatine content in the long run)

If I get really good at the publishing game then the ultimate goal is to target Disney Lucasfilm Press/LucasBooks not showing them the smut I wrote of course lmao

Thank you for your support, it means so much! <3

#ask reply

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pipermca · 2 years ago

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Writing Year in Review - 2022

On the one hand, I really like doing "year in review" posts and musings. It gives you a chance to look back on what you've accomplished, and lets you prepare yourself for what you want to do in the year head. On the other hand, if your accomplishments didn't measure up to whatever yardstick you're using, it can be a disappointing and demoralizing experience.

This year was, in my opinion, a rather lackluster year for writing for me. It's definitely not for a lack of ideas or interest – if anything, my WIP folder and ideas list are filled with all sorts of stories that I really want to finish. What has been lacking is the time, energy and motivation to apply butt to seat and get some writing done.

That's not the only thing I "failed" at – I came nowhere near my reading goal of 24 books. But there was a book I finished in the summer that had bogged me down for years and I was determined to finish it, which I did! And I'm working my way through The Expanse series by checking the books out of the library. (I'm about 75% done with the series!) I think I'll be scaling my reading goal back to 12 books again this year, so that I can feel pleased when I blow past it. 😅

However, I am trying to be kind to myself, as there were a lot of competing priorities and distractions. I struggled with anxiety of a whole variety of things. I buried myself in video games (specifically grabbing some titles recommended by others), and the new WoW expansion came out in November which has sucked up a lot of my time in December. And since the pandemic is over now (huge, massive /sarcasm tag on that) we spent time travelling: first heading west to see Spouse's family, and then driving east to visit my family.

This summer I got to hug my parents for the first time in three years.

Anyway, with all that happening, I am happy with what I did get done. December was a complete bust (see previous bit about WoW: Dragonflight coming out) in that I only wrote 735 words, but I also worked on the photocomic I posted in December.

In 2022 I posted 10 works to AO3, for a total of 47,609 words. A lot of that was either zine pieces that I could finally publish, or comic scripts. I also wrote 84,544 words. A chunk of that was for the IDW2 worldbuilding reviews (which I really have to get back to), and for a WIP that I haven't started posting yet.

Most months I didn't hit that 10,000 word threshold I have for myself, but that's ok. For the most part I was still writing consistently, even if the output wasn't quite as high as I would have liked. Looking at my writing tracker, you can also see the slow trend downwards in word count per week... Not great, but understandable.

When I did get some writing done, my words per hour were still rather consistent. Last year I averaged 500-600wph, while this year it's more like 600-800wph. Not bad! I just need to carve out more time to do that writing in my day. 💗

And speaking of making time to write, here's another graph where you can see the slow erosion of the time I spent writing. There was a big burst in September (as I think that's when my muse really wanted to work on that smutty story with Prowl) but otherwise I've been spending less and less time writing as the year went on.

As for the concrete goals I set for myself in 2022, I didn't do terribly. I originally posted these in order of priority.

Finish Must Like Cats Yes! Done!

Finish Sun and Moon (working title) Haha no, but still working on it

Apply for two zines (if something catches my eye) Mmm, I applied for one*. So, 50%.

Write two comic scripts for practice I wrote one, so again, 50%.

Finish The King and the Bounty Hunter Nope.

Start By Fire and Flame (working title) Hahhaa no.

*No word on if this zine is getting off the ground, and I'm not holding my breath at this point.

In coming up with priorities for this year, I want to make sure they're obtainable, and focused on getting stuff done. (sigh) So here's this year's list:

Finish Sun and Moon (working title)

Finish one Sparkr story (any of my bunnies or WIPs!)

Write two comic scripts for practice

Make more progress in IDW2 reviews

Finish The King and the Bounty Hunter

Also, one of my "maintenance" goals is to repost the stories I pulled down. I have a couple of story compilations, and the fact that they're in compilations have caused me some issues (for example, it's difficult to link to a specific chapter in some cases, and I can't include a single chapter in a series.) So I'm going to be revising and reposting those stories in 2023.

Behind the cut is the first sentence of each of the stories I posted, and the month it was posted in. I hope everyone has a lovely 2023.

January. Armed. We're in a medical bay. (This is a comic script; you can view the comic here.)

March. Must Like Cats. Sideswipe woke slowly, rising out of recharge one system at a time.

April. Private Parts. A heavy arm fell across Blast Off's shoulders.

May. An Interview with the Award-Winning Engraving Artist Sunstreaker of Kaon. At first glance, the studio looks empty, almost abandoned.

June. The Wild Hunt. Hot Rod couldn't remember when he'd first heard about the Wild Hunt.

July. Time Together. Emperor Starscream watched as Skywarp bounced on the tips of his pedes, his wings flicking with every bounce.

August. Quiet Now. Hound felt like the unluckiest bot in the galaxy.

October. How the Praxians Lost Their Wings. "Kup, tell Dinobots a story."

November. VIP. "In conclusion, this operation should result in an estimated 63% reduction in the Decepticons' offensive ability, and provide us with an additional two months in which we can work with our human allies to fortify our defenses."

December. Mission Creep. Jazz is driving in alt mode. (Another comic script; you can view the comic here.

#progress report #year in review #on writing

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cachemypov · 3 months ago

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21/8/24

Day 3 / 5 gym today, kinda get the hang out of the exercise routine that I would do daily. still adding 1 or 2 new ones in for fun. Learnt Skull Crushers with DB today. It wasn't as bad as what I did previously with ez bar, but I guess its because the weight was way too heavy for me if I were to use ez bar instead. I start slow and gets the hang of it, hopefully I can increase the weight next week :D

Work was pretty tiring today though we didn't see a lot of clients. But I guess the duration with each person was longer than expected therefore it's pretty taxing. We tried out the new PPE today, it was bad. It traps body heat and I was sweating inside and my bra were soaking wet. I could feel my sweat drips on my chest and back - it stinks too. Luckily I bought cooling wet wipes along (wish I could bring a spare bra too) today and manage to freshen myself up with it and my deodorant. if not, I would stink max.

I'm still having trouble to bulk up my protein amount without using shakes or powder. But It's so difficult. and its harder when I have to cut down my carbs too. like hell nah, it I can't get carbs during lunch, I might die of unhappiness.

Still figuring out this shit, and its tough.

Was pretty obsessed with the videos on people playing BathHouse. It looks fun yet scary (i'm too ball-less to play it alone). Stopped the video while eating dinner outside because I was going to use the public toilet and there were many scene whereby the ghost appears on the mirror while the role is showering infront of the mirror. I think I will not dare to use a bathhouse after this game lol

Quickly skipped to some random tarot reading videos to distract myself before using the public toilet just now. and they were talking about my 正缘. love this kind of video, because it gives me hope saying that one day i might meet someone out there who are actually for me (haha, who's that clown out there).

Though we all know that this whole "正缘" thing is not real (they only have 3 cards choice), but its quite interesting. they said that I (the card I choose) will found someone who is either same age or younger than me. someone who has like many friends and have a business mind. someone that I have already met when we were younger or this person already heard about me but I have not met him in person yet. Someone who is low key romantic etc, but act of service with meticulous details. hahahahah I cannot stop thinking it was my ex, but then again I do not tend to go for 回头草. so probably, nope. but I am really curious and looking forward if there is such person out there.

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pesterloglog · 1 year ago

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John Egbert, Vriska Serket

Act 5, page 3949-3953

EB: i remember now.

EB: i was tricked by a troll into flying up to the last gate, using this rocket pack.

EB: she said i could take a shortcut and go kill my denizen while he was sleeping.

EB: it...

EB: did not quite work out that way.

AG: This sounds like Terezi's handiwork.

EB: i don't know. she didn't tell me her name.

EB: she was a blind troll. she made me this incredibly shitty map for me to follow!

AG: Yep. That's her.

AG: I guess she got 8oth of us then. Un8elieva8le.

EB: she tricked you too?

AG: Yes.

AG: Well, not tricked, so much as made a pointless coin flip and sta88ed me in the 8ack.

EB: wow. that's pretty cold blooded!

AG: Oh, sure. She was easily the most underhanded and villainous mem8er of our group.

AG: 8ut I did let my guard down. And even when she sta88ed me, I sure didn't think I was going to die.

EB: why not?

AG: It turns out immortality isn't all it's cracked up to 8e. Let's leave it at that.

EB: hmm...

EB: so i guess you never got around to giving me immortality like you said? or killing me, for that matter.

EB: sounds like the blind troll beat you to it.

AG: No, I did! 8ut........

AG: Ugh, this will 8e hard to explain to you.

EB: explain what?

AG: Haha. I guess in her own sick way, she actually set us up on this d8 together.

AG: May8e I should thank her whenever she falls asleep? Or dies, god for8id.

EB: so...

EB: now it is a date?

AG: I don't know.

AG: I said it wouldn't 8e unless you remem8ered. And now you remem8er.

AG: 8ut you still don't remem8er me, do you?

EB: nope.

AG: Yeah, thought so.

AG: This version of you died 8efore I started messing with you. Not that I expect you to understand what that means.

EB: no, i get that.

EB: if i had decided not to take the shortcut, i would have lived. and then you would have talked to me a lot?

AG: Yes, that's right.

AG: I guess I should have learned to give you more credit 8y now.

EB: well, i might not have figured that out, if not for...

EB: some things that just happened.

AG: I still can't 8elieve I'm meeting a version of you that doesn't remem8er a thing a8out me. None of my gr8 exploits, or any of the ways I helped you. Only that one stupid time I taunted you!

AG: It's a vaguely frustr8ing feeling.

EB: sorry... not sure what to tell you!

AG: So you remem8er literally nothing I told you a8out myself? Not even the, uh........

AG: Compromising stuff?

EB: well, you did just show me around your planet. which was really cool!

EB: ... there's compromising stuff?

AG: Your species would think so. 8ut I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

EB: i guess not.

EB: but who says we can't get to know each other again?

AG: You wouldn't find that 8oring?

EB: no way! not if you wouldn't.

EB: you said the name of the blind troll who killed us, but you have not told me yours yet.

AG: I haven't?

EB: no.

AG: ........

AG: It's Vriska.

EB: nice to meet you, vriska.

EB: i am john! even though you know that.

AG: Yes.

EB: so now what do we do? aside from be dead for probably ever.

AG: Man, I don't know.

AG: May8e,

AG: You could tell me a8out how you died?

AG: What were the "things that just happened" you were talking a8out?

EB: well, like i said, i flew up to the last gate. like this.

EB: oh, nice boots!

AG: ::::D

EB: it brought me inside the palace.

EB: it was huge, and it took a long time to explore. it was eerily empty too.

EB: i had that weird feeling of getting to a place in a video game you are not supposed to be yet, because you don't have the right powerups and such.

EB: you know what i mean?

AG: Not really.

AG: I'm used to taking shortcuts whenever I play games.

EB: oh, ok.

EB: so, i started getting crazy nervous the longer i was down here, and i was starting to wonder if my silly iron pogo hammer would even do any damage against the monster.

AG: *Snort.*

EB: what?

AG: Against a denizen? Of course that piece of shit isn't going to do anything.

AG: If I were you, I would have chucked it into the forge.

EB: excuse me, it is called the wrinkle fucker, and it is totally amazing.

AG: It might 8e alright if you com8ined it with something awesome.

AG: Like some cool dice, for instance.

EB: that's so absurd, like anything like that would ever even happen!!!

AG: What's this?

EB: i found it very deep in the palace dungeon. i was wandering for hours, following a horrible sound through the pipes.

EB: i could tell typheus was really close, because it was very loud here. it could only be the sound of him sleeping.

EB: i was so tempted to play it, but i didn't dare risk waking him up!

EB: pretty much by then i was sweating bullets at the thought of confronting him.

AG: You were right to 8e nervous. Denizens are incredi8ly powerful monsters. You had no chance whatsoever at this stage of the game.

AG: You might have stood a chance after I started helping you. 8ut Terezi really screwed you over 8y leading you here so early.

EB: yeah...

EB: i guess if i ever see her, i should thank her too.

AG: Why?

EB: because this was important.

AG: What was? Getting killed 8y a monster?

EB: well, yes. but not just that.

EB: the whole ruse was important!

EB: if i didn't make the decision to go, then dave would not be able to go back in time and fix things.

EB: in fact, if i didn't die here in this palace, we never would have been born in the first place!

AG: How could you know all that?

EB: this way...

AG: This denizen does not look asleep to me.

EB: nooope.

EB: he was wide awake when i found him. i practically crapped my pants!

AG: Well, that explains your quick death. If your denizen was anything like mine, it wouldn't have wasted much time 8efore unleashing a huge shitstorm of devast8ing monster magic.

EB: what was your denizen like?

AG: Her name was Cetus.

AG: She was this awful sea monster. Her lair was deep underground amidst a 8unch of shipwrecks. She was quite vicious and territorial. I knew I had to kill her quickly to release the hoard, 8efore she had the chance to do anything tricky.

EB: what do you mean, tricky?

EB: did she talk to you?

AG: Oh, of course. She was 8a88ling in riddles through most of the fight. I wasn't paying much attention though. I mean, what creature DOESN'T speak in 8oring riddles in this game?

EB: so, is that what you all did?

EB: kill your denizens as fast as possible, without listening to them?

AG: Yeah, pretty much. We were all pretty good players, remem8er?

EB: yes, so i've heard.

AG: Well........

AG: Ok, I can't exactly speak for everyone. There was a lot going on, and I don't know how some people went a8out 8eating their denizens.

AG: For instance, I'm not sure how our hero of 8reath did it. May8e the monster just released the hoard for him out of pity????????

EB: maybe he just talked to his denizen?

AG: If there was a way to avoid a tough 8attle, I'm sure he found it.

AG: It sounds like a good way to cheat yourself out of a lot of sweet xp and loot though.

EB: i dunno. you might be surprised!

AG: John, are you saying you had a nice friendly chat with this hideous, 8loodthirsty creature 8efore he killed you?

EB: yes!

EB: typheus may not be pretty to look at...

EB: but he is not a bad guy at all!

#homestuck #john egbert #vriska serket #homestuck act 5 #page 3949 #page 3950 #page 3951 #page 3952 #page 3953 #homestuck act 5 act 2

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