#so i mean i named the thread this before i knew what was gonna happen

[luveline]

hiii, could we please get bombshell!reader x spencer finding out they’re pregnant with baby no. 2 xxx

Hi thank you for requesting! fem, 1k

The second time, it catches you completely off guard. You still remember the afternoon you’d spent at Spencer’s apartment before you realised you were pregnant with Amy, your first, that nagging feeling of otherness that plagued you for days, and finally got too much to ignore. How Spencer had offered his hand, had sat you in the chair next to him despite it being a tight squeeze. You’d been more scared than you let on, quite hopeful, but you knew in a way before you took the test that it was already happening. 

You figure you have a pretty good idea of what being pregnant feels like, and when your period doesn’t come, you don’t pay it any mind. They’ve been spotty since Amy, on and off and on again. Spencer stopped trying to log it for you a long ago. 

“Mama?” 

You smile. It’s a rare day when Amy calls you ‘mama’: she didn’t spend long in the mama-dada region of time, moving on quickly to ‘mommy’. 

“What’s up, love bug?” you whisper. 

Amy —Amanda, Spencer’s idea, meaning ‘worth of love’— tilts her head back. Spencer swears she’s all you, but you can see both of you in her face, threads of your families. “Daddy’s sleeping?” she asks, her lips screwed into his pout, her eyebrows pulled into your worried pinching. 

“He got home late last night, remember? He’s just tired.” 

She frowns at his face turned into your thigh. “Wake up?” 

“Let’s let him sleep, okay? Sleep is important, it keeps us healthy.”

“You’ll play?” 

“I can’t, he’s sleeping in my lap.” 

“Push.” 

“We don’t push.” 

Amy, perplexed by this, clambers onto the couch despite her father’s entire body being in the way, and Spencer, so used to this mistreatment, doesn’t so much as stir. Amy slides into the space between his chest and the back of the couch and leans down to grin at his lax face. 

“Gonna give daddy a kiss?” you suggest in a murmur. 

Amy gathers the curls from his face and kisses his forehead, smack dab in the middle. 

Spencer’s breath starts to quicken. Amy senses a change and begins patting the back of his neck. “Shhh,” she says, uncoordinated fingers trying hard to be gentle as she pets her father. “Shush, daddy. Sleep.”

Spencer spends hours sleeping in your lap, until eventually Amy tramples him one too many times and his stomach growls its protest. He wakes, turning back, his hair crushed to your thigh, and when he sees you he gives you the same lovely smile as always. 

His teeth peek from behind his lips. “That’s a pretty sight to wake up to,” he says. 

It’s this sleepy afternoon together that means later, when you’re sitting on the closed toilet with a pregnancy test taken from four parts curiosity and one part responsibility, you’re unafraid of the result. You think of Amy’s small hands stroking Spencer’s hair from his face, her head under your nose as you’d cuddled, and you think of Spencer’s dozy smile and his months spent pouring over baby name books, and you know it’s all gonna be fine. 

“You alright?” Spencer asks when you make it to bed some short minutes later. His nap has left him wide awake. 

You climb into bed and turn out your lamp, laying down, curling in, a secret smile playing on your lips as he drags the blankets to your neck. “I’m good.” 

“What’s making you smile?” he asks. 

You gesture for him to lay down with you in the middle dark. Yellow from Amy’s hallway night light bleeds under the door, illuminating the hints of his features. You don’t need it to know what he looks like, where his cheek is in the dark as you lift your hand. “Love you,” you say. 

He pulls you in for a gentle kiss. “Love you,” he says into your lips, hand slipping to the nape of your neck. He squeezes it, groaning at the very back of his throat as he adds, “Missed you.” 

“I missed you too. Sleep well, sweetheart.” 

He wraps an arm around you and cradles you against him. “Yeah, okay. Goodnight, angel.” His nose presses to your temple. His lips brush your eyebrow. 

You linger in the quiet for a while. Spencer nearly falls asleep. 

“Spencer?” you ask.

“Mm?” He doesn’t sound tired at all, but he’d been content to lie with you in the quiet.

“Just, by the way. Just so you know,” —you rub your face into his chest, breathing in his smell— “I’m pregnant again.” 

Another lapse of silence. Then Spencer springs up and turns on his bedside lamp to your squinting ire, eyes alight with shock. “You’re what?” 

“Pregnant.” You turn your face into the pillow to hide from the unwelcome light. “With a baby,” you say, your voice mildly muffled, “maybe two or so months.” 

Spencer slips a hand under your cheek and turns you back around. He holds your face in both palms, a rueful sort of acceptance about him as he leans down for a good look at you, though underneath it you can see the same thrumming contentedness you’d felt seeing the double pink lines. “And you’re telling me now?” 

“Didn’t you always say you expected to be the last to know?” you tease. “I did a test a few minutes ago. Clear Blue. Very accurate, or so you’ve said.” 

Spencer laughs and presses his face sharply into your own. Your nose throbs after a while, but you say nothing. You smile when he sniffles, raking your hand through his mousy brown hair. 

“I didn’t have an inkling of a suspicion,” you confess in a whisper. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you say, laughing under your breath as his hand creeps down to your stomach. “It’s the same as it was yesterday, I promise.”

“Well, it’s not.” Spencer’s face falls into the nook of your shoulder, hand slipping from your stomach to behind you, where he holds you like you’re at risk of escaping him. You have no such inclination.

[honestlyijustfindhersocharming]

DBDA Promptober ... Day 5 - Magic @dbdpromptober

. . . . .

"No!"

Edwin barely processed the way that the shout rang through the air, eyes locked with the spell soaring through the air towards his chest. He was going to die.

Edwin hadn't thought much about his death since he started to regain his memories, but he doubted it'd be that bad. I mean, Niko and Crystal were still okay, right? They had each other, and their cases, and… God, from the little bit that David had eased him into regarding his life so far, Edwin wasn't sure that he'd miss much about living.

Well, there was one thing. One guy with a punky style, bright white curls, and the most beautifully radiant smile that Edwin had ever seen. Ghosts didn't age, right? What would that mean for him and Charles? Would the two of them drift apart as Charles grew into adulthood? Would they stay together even though Edwin would stay the same 16 forever? Would Edwin move on alone and leave Charles to grieve?

… He didn't want Charles to cry for him, face twisted in grief as he tried to fend off Mick and save Crystal. He didn't want-

Edwin was jostled from his thoughts as a form covered his view of the spell hurtling towards him, rooting itself right in front of Edwin as it-. "No!" The scream that Crystal let out forced the scene before him to click, everything in slow motion as Charles - sweet, wonderful, selfless Charles - slumped against Edwin. Edwin took hold of him, cradling him as the two crumpled to the floor under the taller's dead weight.

"Charles!" The scream ripped from his throat before he could stop it, before he could even think, and the entire world faded to Charles. His Charles, lips parted and brows furrowed as he whimpered in pain. "Charles." He repeated, name a prayer on his lips as he repositioned himself, cradling his friend's head with one hand as the other clung to his jacket. His eyes were frantic as he examined the younger's body because there had to be something that he could do. Something to stop the way that the crimson blood kept soaking through Charles' bright white shirt.

"Charles, you're gonna be okay. You have to be okay. Please." Edwin begged. He pleaded. Shame was lost to him as he shook Charles ever so slightly, refusing to accept the way that his breathing shallowed as the seconds ticked on and on and…

"Told you…" Charles croaked out, voice hoarse and face pained despite the way he tried so hard to smile for Edwin. "Was always gonna protect you, yeah?" Edwin heard himself sob at the reminder, because it was never supposed to be like this but then Charles' breathing shallowed even more and-

"No! No! Charles!" He cried, leaning over his friend - his love - to hold him because he couldn't be gone. He can't- "Charles…" Edwin sobbed, grief overtaking him because it should've been him that took that hit. Him that had to deal with that pain after everything that Charles had been through.

"Oh… how tragic." Edwin finally registered the world around him as Mick started speaking. "You know, it is your fault though." His hands shook as he held Charles closer, teeth gritting as his grief melted away into nothing but pure rage. "Bringing him here and all. You really should've seen this-"

"Shut up!" Edwin screamed, the familiar pull in his gut as he thrust his hand outward, shoving the man against the wall, before he reached back into his mind, pulling on the thread that connected him to the demon that he'd brought alongside him. "Dæmonium! Da mihi auxilium tuum!" He chanted, letting his magic meld with David's innate energy.

Thought you'd never ask. Edwin felt the demon respond. Edwin's gaze, now black as night, fell upon Mick, and immediately he knew which words to say. "Sedna! Hear me!" He called, magic sending his voice to the sea. "Your child has forsaken, thee. Will you stand for this injustice, for those outcasted to be defiled by his greed?"

Mick laughed, a horrible bitter sound, and Edwin steeled himself. No matter what happened after this point, he knew one thing for certain. He would not let this man hurt another one of his friends.

[chimivx]

That one fucked you over last year, this one is fucking you over this year, you had no idea she was involved with him, someone over here has been lying to you, you didn't mean to end up in that ones bed, he told you he loved you... Does anyone even trust anyone anymore?

👫 -> college!teez x fem!reader/oc {frat/sorority} #️⃣ -> 16k exact. (part SEVEN of ten) good luck. ‼️ -> 18+, sexual content, drugs/alcohol, college life, all the drama, heavy angst, infidelity adjacent moments, mean boys, mean girls, mentions of anxiety/depression… IF I MISSED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

{ there are names & faces in here that come from NMWID <3 }

september 23rd ~ monday ~ 11:20 a.m.

“I’ll take a shot of vodka, or something else, whatever you’ve got.”

Theo smiled, then shook his head, leaning over the counter toward you.

“You can get that later down the street,” he said. “Want me to surprise you if you aren’t gonna make a decision?”

Clasping your hand over your hoodie you shrugged. “Please.”

Getting to work, he sent the occasional glance over his shoulder. “You’re in a weird mood, what happened?” He wrapped his hand around a large sized cup and took it to the espresso machine. “What’s happened since Friday, I should say.”

A lot, you wanted to say. You’ve realized you’ve fallen in love with a boy who was your best friend, said boy has snuck onto your roof and confessed his love for you, you’re both set to ‘break up’ with people you aren’t even together with, and all the meanwhile the boys girl has started a lie that has now spread throughout the ITZ house.

Nothing has been said to Yunho or Tori as of yet, you were meeting Tori for lunch after your noon classes so you would tell her there. The video had to still be up on Chan's profile, those things lasted for twenty four hours. She was a liar, Mina was. Though you can’t piece together at the moment why she would lie about something like this. Chan is her brother, and he’s apparently been through many struggles in his lifetime.

Your father has been through many struggles in his lifetime, never once do you ever use his shit as an excuse for your behavior, nor would you ever use his shit as a way to warp people’s minds, their feelings. The beings in both houses knew little of your dad, aside from Yunho, Tori and unfortunately Wooyoung. You’re sure Mingi knew a little something, he’s dating Tori, but you don’t care what he knew. If he’s trustworthy enough to date Tori, he’s trustworthy to know who and what your father is.

Mina’s pretty, she’s smart, she comes from a good family. Why would she lie?

Pulling out your phone you open a thread of messages and type away.

[you]: we have to talk about something questionable

It took him three seconds to respond.

[youknow everythin]: This is how you answer my good morning text? What did you just wake up?

[you]: i’m at blend i have a class in thirty

[you]: i’m sorry i didn’t answer, i read it before i got in the shower

[youknow everythin]: Take me in the shower with you, duh

[you]: you are such a boy

[you]: any mina updates

[youknow everythin]: She’s hurting. I told you last night what she was saying, her brother and all that. I got the full run down. She was keeping a lot from me this summer.

You tried real hard to not let those words tug at your heart.

[youknow everythin]: You know what it made me think of? That psych thing or whatever it is, the invisible child thing? Where one childs needs are so great that the other kid kind of goes unnoticed? But… Not totally unnoticed, they’re just more self sufficient? I feel like that’s Mina. She just needs someone to see her.

That made your stomach feel weird.

And not because of his last sentence.

Because you understood.

You didn’t have any siblings, but you had to grow up pretty self-sufficient.

[you]: damn i didn’t think of it like that

[you]: makes me feel like a bitch for what i’m about to say

[youknow everythin]: Tell me

“You are so out of it,” Theo said, handing the beautifully decorated coffee over to you. With whipped cream on the top he swirled caramel around it. Looking up at him, he gave you a smile and stepped away from the counter to take care of another customer who had appeared beside you while you were focused on your screen. 

“I’m sorry,” you sighed.

[you]: i think she’s lying about her brother

“The drama never ends,” you whispered, picking up the coffee to take a sip of it. It was equally sweet as it was caffeinated. “Oh my god,” you groaned after a swallow. Theo smirked over his shoulder. “I’ll text you the money,” you said, tapping away to open his messages, but he stopped you.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, flipping the other person's coffee over to shake it. “Someone left you an allowance. I think you’re good for the rest of the semester to be honest.” He chuckled as your brows rose. “You have another friend down at ATZ, and I assume he’s told you all about me.”

“Soul,” you mumbled, and Theo shot you a look that did little to warm your heart. “Yeah, he, uh, he told me.”

Popping a lid on the small sized cup in his hand, he slid it over the counter to the person next to you and muttered, “Three eighty seven,” and took the cash as they handed it over. “I don’t want to tell you to stay away from him,” Theo said to you, giving the person their change, “He’s really not that bad of a guy.” Shifting back over to your side of the counter, he leaned over on his elbows and looked up at you. “He’s just been through some shit.”

Rolling your eyes, you sipped your drink and tried not to laugh. “Seems to be the theme of the day.” Theo flattened his lips into some sort of smile. “What was her name?”

He closed his eyes and released a breath. “Soojin.” When his eyes met yours he laughed at your pout. “Don’t, it’s okay. She was a year below me in school, they had another year of high school together, I was here, it wasn’t a big deal.”

With another sip, you tried to hide behind your straw when you asked, “When did it happen?”

Theo smirked, assessed his surroundings and the little people that were inside his cafe. “She was a senior, he was a sophomore, I was a freshman trying to get into the prestigious ATZ. I was upset when it happened of course, she and I were still dating, but, when you really look at it, what kind of senior in high school takes an interest in a sophomore…”

“Oh my god,” you sighed, your eyes going wide. Theo grinned.

“Yeah, so I ended that quick,” he nodded once, standing up to clean up behind his counter. “And, I made sure Shota was okay, even though he was all smug about it. He was sixteen, he had every right to think he was hot shit for sleeping with a senior, but brotha’ was a victim.”

Soul’s dark eyes that never seemed to have a thought behind them came to mind, and you were gutted. “Tae, oh my god,” you said and he shrugged, wiping down his machines. “He told me that you hate him for it.”

Theo huffed a laugh, then hung his head for a few seconds. “If that’s what he wants to believe, I’ll take it. I don’t hate him,” he turned to give you a look. “He’s impressionable. Don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s not… all there,” he came closer to you. “His parents are… were… kinda messed up. You can’t tell him I said any of this,” Theo pointed at you, his eyes going stern.

“Promise,” you whispered, holding up a hand.

Theo tapped his fingers on the counter, watching them for a moment. “He was in therapy for a while.”

“Weren’t we all?” you attempted to lighten the air, smiling, and he laughed.

“I guess at some point,” he breathed. “I mean, I was after my parents got divorced, so… No, but, Shota, he’s been into a lot of things kids shouldn’t get into. This ability for him to… attract… that kind of attention, like with Soojin, I don’t know, it’s…” 

“His eyes,” you whispered, and Theo never looked at you faster. Sheepishly smiling, you said, “He’s been following me around for a little bit now, Tae. He showed up to ITZ one night.” Theo’s eyes shot open wide. You nodded. “Yeah, he’s persistent. I can kinda see why he’d so easily coerce someone… Not saying that’s what he did, or has done, but… Yanno?”

Theo thought about it, then asked, “So, you were catchin’ a crush?”

“No,” you said, hushed and rushed. “I have way too much happening to have a crush on a freshman. That makes me Soojin, just many years later.” He smiled, popping his brows. “And, now that I know he’s your little brother? That’d be weird. You and I were dates at Date Night last winter, my allegiance is to you, Taeyang.”

“I’ll never forget Wooyoung's face when we got picked,” he said, and you both shared a smile. “He was pissed.”

Names were chosen at random between the sorority and the fraternity, pairs made for the night. Date Night, one of the more exciting events thrown between the houses, kicked off with a bang though neither house raised enough to put toward this current year. Still, it was fun, and you were paired with Theo who drank your required liquor when you couldn’t stomach anymore. The two of you danced, you laughed, you hung out with Tori and Yeosang, her randomly chosen date, and you partied until the next morning. 

The kicker… You were strapped together at the wrist. You physically could not leave your date alone, and if someone else wanted to talk to you, you had to talk to their date, too.

Vernon was paired with Isla.

Yuna and Jongho were matched up.

Ryujin and San.

Chaeryeong was paired with a senior, as well as Mingi, like you and Theo.

Hongjoong had a senior from ITZ on his wrist.

Seonghwa and Lia both had freshman recruits.

Yunho got lucky enough to have Mina follow him around.

And, Wooyoung had Yeji.

You could say that was the start of the downfall, that Yeji and Wooyung were paired up together, so who knows if that night they hooked up as well, but you’ve stopped letting the thought bother you.

“It was fun,” you gave him a small smile.

“It was.” He returned it. “Are you guys gonna do that again? I know that one’s like tradition, right?”

“Tori has it on the schedule,” you said. “She’s stuck it sometime in October now, I think around Halloween? It might land on her birthday, I’m not so sure.”

“Well,” he stood up straight, having leaned over the counter again, and slapped his hands on the vinyl. “If you get paired with Shota, keep an eye on him.”

“Think I might do that regardless now, Tae,” you said, lifting your drink a bit to signal your exit. “Thanks again.”

Theo smirked and watched you leave the cafe. “Thank my brother.”

september 23rd ~ monday ~ 1:47 p.m.

[youknow everythin]: Rory there’s nothing there though, we can’t just assume, can we?

“It was here yesterday!”

Sitting forward, you laid your phone on the table beside your plate and groaned in frustration. Tori, cross legged with her waves over her shoulders, watched you with a raised brow.

“He deleted it, he had to have deleted it,” you whispered, refreshing Chan's profile three times before giving Tori a look of dismay. “When we were at the library, he posted it.”

“It’s been a day, it’s not going to be there anymore,” she said, picking up her fork. “I want to believe you, though.”

Eyes bugging out of your head, you attempted to refresh the page again. “You don’t believe me? How?” When you met her eyes again the taste in your mouth went sour. “Tori, I’m not lying to you, I swear to God, she is lying to us.”

“What person would lie about their brother like that?”

“That’s what I’m saying!” you shouted, and many heads turned your way. The two of you were at a small table toward the front of the sushi restaurant you stormed out of over a week ago. “Yunho thinks she’s got that invisible child thing. You know, where they pry for attention, or something.”

Tori, sipping her water, rolled her eyes. “Listen, I want to believe you, Ror, but now that you’ve got this thing with Yunho, it looks like you’re trying to make her the bad guy.”

Right, she was still miffed about the whole situation.

“I know what it looks like, okay?” You squeezed your eyes shut. “I’m not trying to… Win the boy, or whatever it is you think I’m doing. I have the boy. It’s not about that.”

Tori sat back in her chair and folded her arms. “You do, do you?” You nodded and she pursed her lips. “Then, what is it about? If she is lying like you say she is, what’s the point of calling her out for it? Just let it go, all shit comes out eventually.”

She was right.

Letting her go back to her sushi, you swiped back to your messages.

[youknow everythin]: She has been giving me specific updates, Rory

[youknow everythin]: I don’t think she’s lying

september 24th ~ tuesday ~ 2:44 p.m.

In four days you and your sisters would be walking through the doors of ATZ with your recruits. The two houses would come together for dinner, an introduction of sorts, a welcome to the life type of night. There have been freshmen in and out of the house since yesterday morning, touring the property, meeting the board, sucking up to Yeji who spoke to them all with the fakest smile you’ve ever seen.

Standing in the foyer now, your new dark blue ITZ t-shirt on and tucked into the waist of your jeans, two girls walking through the door in sundresses caught your eye. Wide eyed and excited, they gasped to themselves as they gaped up at the ceiling, the two of them arm in arm, linked together. It reminded you of you and Tori. They joined the few girls already walking the first floor, taking in the photos on the wall, reading every description, every story that lived on the white paint.

Ryujin, in the same t-shirt, stood beside you. Nudging her side, you gestured toward the girls.

“Those are the two I met at ATZ,” you whispered. Ryujin scanned the group, then found them and squinted. “They’re freshmen, and I think they come as a pair. Can’t buy them separately.”

“Like you and Tor,” Ryujin mumbled, and you smiled. “My gaydar is going off looking at the shorter one, I can probably make some magic happen.” Fluffing her shaggy hair, she adjusted her shirt to be a bit more frumpy, letting it hang over the waist of her wide legged jeans. She was gone in seconds, flashing a sideways smile to both girls who shook Ryujin’s hand with caution. Sure enough, the shorter one let her eyes slip up and down the seniors frame, but that could mean anything. Ryujin was walking sex appeal, if you swung that way you’d be sneaking out of her room every morning instead of an ATZ bedroom.

Taking a quiet moment for yourself, not being bothered by freshman looking to kiss ass, you pulled out your phone and checked your messages.

[youknow everythin]: How's it going over there? These freshman are ridiculous

Smiling, you worked your fingers on the keys.

[you]: at least you don’t have to listen to a trillion female empowerment stories

[you]: think every girl in this house right now has told the same story

[you]: i think i love it though, they all have something to prove, it’s admirable

[youknow everythin]: Does it remind you of your recruitment? 

[you]: totally, i was coming from a single father who lived paycheck to paycheck, i had to be obnoxious and prove myself. i’m seeing a lot of yeji’s and chaeryeong’s in this crowd. money money money

[youknow everythin]: Same over here, lots of guys flashing their bank accounts. And why is everyone a business major?

[you]: hey, don’t diss

[youknow everythin]: Not what I meant <3 <3 <3

[youknow everythin]: Have you talked to Seonghwa about anything yet? I assume not because he’s been nice to me all day

[you]: no, we should just wait a little bit. shit isn’t hitting the fan right now, we’ll be better off later. you haven’t said anything to mina yet?

[youknow everythin]: Not with this brother thing happening. Plus, she's VP so she’s got a lot on her plate at the moment.

Glancing up at her now, the Vice President, it was written on her t-shirt that she tucked into her denim skirt. Jeans were the dress code for this day, but apparently any denim was acceptable. She was smiling ear to ear while she spoke to a group of girls that gazed up at her with starry eyes. Admitting to yourself that it was impressive she was Vice President already, a sophomore, it didn’t make the feeling in your gut lessen.

Something was off.

It made you wonder if she heard your conversation with Tori the other day.

[you]: understood. keeping shit undercover

[youknow everythin]: It’s been hard to keep Mingi quiet. He’s so nosey. He wants to talk about us all the time.

[you]: us

[youknow everythin]: Us

[youknow everythin]: <3

“Great turn out today, don’t you think?”

Chills ran down your spine. Shoving your phone into your pocket, you turned over your shoulder and plastered a smile onto your face.

“So great,” you said. “I was just thinking about how there are so many like minded girls in here that have something to prove.”

Yeji pierced you with her fox-like gaze, attempting to look through you, into you. In all of the past weeks you’ve never had to be one on one with her, you’ve only had to deal with her in meetings. Her ombre hair curled perfectly laid over her shoulders, tucked behind one ear, showed off the diamonds she was wearing in her lobes. In her t-shirt and skinny jeans, she topped off the fit with strappy black heels and thin silver and gold bracelets on her wrists.

“Like minded?” Yeji asked, letting her eyes leave you for only a second to take in the group. “Explain.”

Swallowing, your mouth had gone dry, you nodded. “Their grades are fantastic, first of all, which you know to me is the most important of all.” Yeji narrowed her eyes. “But, the stories they’re telling us, what they’ve gone through to get here, some being told they’ll never make it to this school, that they’ll never get far… And, they’re here.” She bobbed her head, and smiled once you said, “It makes me think of Mina.”

“Does it?” she questioned, taking a peek at her second speaking with the girls.

“It does,” you whispered. “Everything with her family, yanno? She’s here, at Nasara, and she did that for herself. It’s incredible. I mean, even Isla, she wanted to do something for herself and she’s-”

“Leaving us in a day or two,” Yeji muttered, and your heart stopped. Taking in the shock on your face, she nodded, her stone cold expression never changing. “Don’t worry, she’s not being kicked out. Her brother has been in contact with us. He’s going to come get her, she needs his help. I’ll be sharing the news with Ryujin tonight, so if you could do me a solid and not tell anybody?”

Looking for the senior, the unsuspecting girl laughing it up with the two girls you met at the party, the walls seemed to tighten around you a smidge. She had no idea she was losing her roommate of the last three years. The two met on this day, Ryujin a sophomore, Isla a freshman. They clicked, they understood one another, they became best friends. Ryujin has done so much for Isla within the last year, and now she’d have to go through her most important year alone.

“She’s withdrawing?” you asked Yeji.

“She’s done,” the president nodded. “Withdrawn from classes, from the sorority, from Nasara entirely.”

“Where will she go?”

“With DK,” Yeji shrugged. “We don’t have the ability to help her here. She needs her family. That’s important, you know that, right? Family?” The look she gave you before she scampered away to greet some more freshmen wandering into the house was unreadable. 

february 14th ~ thursday ~ last semester ~ 11:21 p.m.

The ball hit the edge of the cup and bounced onto the floor, a choir of groans echoing throughout the crowded living room. Bumping into Tori, your pong partner, you grabbed onto her arm and voiced your own disappointment. Across the table, the two boys you were playing simply laughed.

“Leave us alone!” Tori shouted playfully. “She’s not good at this, okay, we know this!”

Blushing, you laughed aloud, too drunk to care that she had half roasted you while trying to defend you. “I suck!”

“You do, is that the best you’ve got?” Yunho grilled, wearing a devious smirk on his lips. Poking his tongue out the corner when you looked at him, he raised his brows and motioned toward himself with his fingers. 

Mingi elbowed him, smiling at his girl from across the table doused in beer and liquor. The room was dark, people in the crowd around you were using their flashlights on their phones to light up the table for you four. You were both down to the last three ups on either side.

“She doesn’t seem so bad, you guys are tied.” A voice that wrapped around your heart made you smile. Turning around you bump into Wooyoung who wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his chest. Bringing his lips to your ear he said, “Stand up straight, keep your elbows to yourself and throw without thinking too hard.”

Pulling away from him, he kept a hand on your back, he smiled at you and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek. Following his instructions, standing up straight, you made eye contact with Yunho who now wore a scowl. Music flooded your ears, peoples shouts from everywhere in the house threatened to pull your liquor fueled brain elsewhere. Wooyoung took his hand around your waist and gave you a squeeze.

“Breathe,” he said, and you listened. “Look at the cup… Good.” You turned your chin to look at him and he laughed, using his other hand to maneuver your focus back to the table. “Look at the cup, baby, you can do this, prove them wrong, I know you can.”

“Don’t think someone’s allowed to touch the player while they throw,” Yunho called out, and Mingi laughed. Tori shut him up with a glare. 

Wooyoung curled his lip. “Shut up.” Moving behind you, putting both hands on your waist, he cradled his chin into your neck. “Throw it. Show them.” His lips ghosted your skin and you longed to drop the ball and spin around in his arms, but the way Yunho was glaring at you made you want to throw the ball at his head instead of the red cups waiting for you.

“Any day now,” Yunho complained, tipping his chin backward.

“Ro, shut this guy up,” Wooyoung said loud enough for him to hear. Smiling, feeling his hands press into your waist, you pulled your hand back and released the ball. It went into a cup and swirled around in circles, and the three of you on your end of the table cheered for half a second.

Yunho dipped his fingers inside and flicked it out, both him and Mingi laughing together. The crowd was impartial, no one knew who to be happy for.

“Are you kidding me?” Wooyoung spat, pulling you away from the table, planting his hands on the edge. Yunho raised a brow, a shiteating smirk on his lips.

“That’s the game,” he said.

“You’re a piece of shit, just let her have it,” Wooyoung said, throwing a hand toward the cups left in front of the boy many inches taller than him. “It’s one cup.”

Yunho glanced down, then scoffed. “Yeah, it’s one cup,” he parroted, and Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “She’ll get it again, though she’s missed the last ten shots.”

Tori circled the table and ended up somewhere around Mingi, her boyfriend craning his neck down to press kisses to her cheek. Waiting behind Wooyoung, not knowing what the hell was going to happen, you turned around and found San making his way through the crowd. Raising your hands in the air, you shouted for him.

“Sannie!”

His face lit up. “Ror!” Elbowing past bodies, he found your side and groaned. “Oh no,” he slung himself over your back when you turned around to face the table. “What happened? Why’s he mad?”

Pointing at Yunho, your best friend giving you two ounces of attention, scrunching his nose at San, you said, “He was talkin’ shit, I threw the ball like Wooyoung said, I made it in, but Yo knocked it out.”

San shook his head. “No, you’re kidding, shit move, Yunho!” He looked back at you and San at the sound of his name. “You always play girls like that?” 

Wooyoung smiled at San and held up a hand. “Hang on.” Pointing at Yunho, he said, “Own up to it. Or, you give me the balls, and if I make it in the other two cups, the girls win and you both forfeit for the night. I’m tired of seeing you both standing over here.”

Yunho and Mingi shared a look. From beneath his arm Tori said, “You don’t have to be a jerk, Wooyoung.”

Giving your roommate a look, he quirked a brow. “You wanna take their side over your own sisters? Damn, Tori, that says a lot about you doesn’t it?” San snickered behind you, his hands tangling over your chest. Wooyoung turned back to Yunho. “Balls,” he wiggled his fingers, and the boy obeyed, rolling them across the table. Clutching them both, Wooyoung rolled them in his hands and smirked. “I make it in those two, the ones she didn’t touch, they win. You’re done.”

Yunho crossed his arms and tilted his head back, the smug look in his face doing something to you. “Do it,” he scoffed. “If you don’t make it you have to leave for the rest of the night, how about that?”

Wooyoung threw both balls, one right after the other. They landed in both cups, the ones you didn’t touch, with a splash. The room lost their minds. Yunho and Mingi dropped their arms in shock.

Wrapping an arm around you, acquiring you from San, Wooyoung flashed them a sweet smile. “I was planning on leaving anyway.” And he whisked you out of the living room, leaving the boys dumbfounded behind you.

Barreling through people, both of you laughing, you babbling on about how crazy of a shot that was, you were seconds away from telling him he got lucky when he pressed you against the wall in the hallway, just short of the stairs. 

Almost nose to nose, he placed a hand on the wallpaper and the other to your cheek, dragging his thumb over your skin. He wore a smile, his lips closed hiding his perfect teeth. His hair hung over his forehead, the waves having been pushed side to side all night.

“Did you like the way he was talking to you?” he asked, letting his fingers dance into your hair, pushing it gently off your shoulders that were bare in Tori’s strapless top you borrowed.

Blinking, getting lost in the depths of almond eyes, you took a breath. “Who, Yunho?” Wooyoung nodded, the smallest gesture. “Not really, but it’s Yunho, he never really means what he says. He could talk all the shit in the world and then seconds later his mood changed.”

“It wasn’t cool, Ro,” he said, his hand taking to your shoulder, not dropping any further. “I didn’t like it.” His lips formed a pout. “He was talking about my girl.” Your cheeks warmed, and he smiled, flashing you his perfect teeth. His beauty was indescribable, you couldn’t put words to it. So unique, so undeniably gorgeous. He was a wanted man, and he was here in your arms.

“Your girl,” you whispered, eyes flickering down to his lips. “Since when am I your girl?”

Laughing to himself, he brought both of his hands over your neck, his hands taking to your chin, tilting you upward. His grip was gentle, everything about how he dealt with you was gentle. “I want you to be my girl,” he whispered. “But you get hung up on jackasses, just pay attention to me, Ro, these other guys don’t matter.”

Blinking a few times, you muttered, “Wooyo, I’m drunk.” Exhaling heavily, you wiggled in his grip and he let you go. “I pay attention to you, what’re you talking about?”

Having taken a step backward, his hands were to himself. “You do,” he said. “I just mean… Nevermind.”

This time you came closer to him, sliding your arms around his neck, pulling him in. He walked backward so he could lean against the wall. Taking his arms around your back, he gazed down at you, studying you, taking in every little piece of you.

“We can talk when you’re not drunk,” he whispered, dipping his chin down to brush his nose against your own. Whispering your agreement, he smiled, then tilted his chin and pressed his lips to yours. In mere seconds your hands were in his hair, holding onto him like he’d soon run away. You yearned to melt into him, to stay here forever with his lips on yours, taking your time as if it was the first time you’ve found yourself here.

He treated each kiss like it was fragile, like if he moved too fast the moment would end. Soft lips pulling you under, his tongue meeting yours to deepen it further. There was no rush, no hurriedness about it. By now one would figure you’d be pulled upstairs and stripped to nothing, but, not with Wooyoung. Not now.

Neither of you crossed that line. Neither of you wanted to, not yet. Though many, many make outs, like this one, have ended with sweaty skin and the need to change your pants, both of you, the drive to go further always pulled you both back. Wooyoung had always been quicker to stop it, to stop you if your hand fell to the button of his pants, or if you seemed to fall into some sort of conditioned way of moving about him. 

At first it was strange, him wanting to take his time, but for a couple months now you’ve both been reeling in the build up, in the excitement of what’s to come, the two of you unspokenly going about this thing like it were your first time ever.

“Aurora,” Wooyoung whispered, touching his forehead to yours. Looking up at him through your lashes you smiled. “So beautiful,” he kept his voice low, just for you. “Promise me,” he said, and you lowered your brows. “Promise me you’ll stay away from them.”

“Away from who?”

“Don’t let them pull you into their games,” he said, shaking his head. “That’s how this shit works, this life. They won’t stop until they win.” His hands slipped into your hair, pushing it away. Pausing, he studied you once more and kissed you. “They’ll snuff out anything standing in their way.”

september 25th ~ wednesday ~ 7:15 p.m.

[you]: hey, hope its okay tae gave me your number… you didnt have to do this, but thank you. i’ll blame you for the caffeine addiction next semester

[soul]: come to atz to thank me in person

[you]: too much to do, sorry friend. i’ll see you on saturday, right?? you used your brain instead of your wallet, yeah?

[soul]: yeah…… something like that.

[you]: good. keep it up.

[you]: do me a solid?

[soul]: anything for you

[you]: tell yunho to answer his phone if you can find him, he’s supposed to meet me somewhere and i think he’s drowning in books right now

[you]: hope those boys arent giving you too much of a hard time

[soul]: not at all :)

He was fifteen minutes late. That’s extremely unlike him. Yunho was a cluster fuck, but he was a punctual cluster fuck. 

The two of you were finally meeting at Blend. You had secured a booth in the farthest corner, not that the place was buzzing with life anyway. Away from the windows, away from the door. You weren’t looking to create any problems. All of your board members were busy situating girls to rooms anyways, all of the details needing to be mapped out by Friday morning when all of the new recruits would arrive.

Tori let you in on the secret, there were maybe ten at max that made it through all the way. There were only a couple set aside for now, needing a couple more details set in stone before they could move forward. 

Not needed around the house, actually trying to stay out of everybody's way, you were able to corral Yunho to agree to come out this evening. Unfortunately it looks like homework may win again, however. You wanted to unpack this month with him, unpack what had happened on the roof, discuss Mina when you both weren’t delirious and half asleep.

Sending him the second ‘where are you’ text, you locked your phone and tossed it to the table as the door to Blend swung open. Heart hoping it was Yunho waltzing inside with a hilarious apology, you’re surprised to see Seonghwa, in all black of course. He had his hair pulled back in a tie, hanging low on his neck. It took him three seconds to find you, his eyes scanning the room as if he smelled you the second he walked in. 

“Ror,” he said, his voice and his smile giving you some sort of comfort.

“Hey,” you said quietly, toying with the straw in your cup. Seonghwa gave the smallest wave, if you could call it that, to Theo, then he changed his course and came over to you, leaving the barista dumbfounded as his eyes followed him over to you. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa half laughed, sliding into the booth across from you, leaving his legs dangling out the side, his feet touching the floor. He slid his hand across the table and brushed his fingers over yours. “I’ve been feeling a little off, think I wanted something warm to drink.”

Raising a finger, letting him slip one beneath yours, you tilted your head. “Feeling sick?”

He shifted in his seat, swinging his legs underneath the table, his knees bumping into yours. His height was unreal. “No, not sick,” he muttered. “Just… off.”

Hooking your finger onto his, you pouted. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Nodding toward the counter where Theo worked behind it without a sound, Seonghwa glanced over there. “Get a drink,” you smiled. “It’s on me.”

Blinking once, he moved his eyes to you, then he released a laugh. “Now that I can’t do.”

“Why not?” you asked, watching him lace his fingers within yours.

“Because,” he whispered, his lashes fluttering as he spoke.

Leaning over the table, you lowered your voice and flipped your brows. “You helped me, now let me help you.”

Seonghwa mainted face. “Did I?” His voice was a whisper. Eyes sharp, the sudden vulnerability swallowed you. A lot has happened since you slept with him. 

At least it felt like a lot.

“I mean, yeah,” you said with a small shrug. Clenching his jaw he glanced at your hands.

“Then you won’t be upset if I tell you he went to see Mina tonight?”

You yanked your hand back, tucking it into your lap with the other. Nausea filled your gut, you could get sick in front of him right here.

“She’s been having a hard time, I've heard, they talk everyday.”

Gulping away the lump in your throat you dropped your eyes to the table and sucked in a shaky breath.

He told you he’d be here.

He promised you that you would talk, about everything.

He hasn’t said that word since he snuck onto your roof.

“Ror?” Seonghwa tapped one of his fingers on the table, pulling you from your thoughts that didn’t circle as much as you thought they would. It was simple. “You okay?”

Rolling your shoulders back, sitting up straight, you sighed and smiled at him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Seonghwa tried to smile, but his lips could only crinkle as the corners lifted.

“You sure?” he whispered.

The space between your lungs tightened. “No,” you breathed, lifting your hand back onto the table, touching your finger tip to his. Seonghwa looked down at them for half a second. “I thought…”

He bit the bullet and folded his hand within yours again. “Tell me.”

The rub of his thumb over the back of your hand soothed the hurt. “Just thought I really had him this time.”

His brows lowered ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

Tightening your grip on his hand, his thumb stopped moving. “Hwa, you can’t get mad,” you whispered, poking out your bottom lip a bit, praying your shining eyes would persuade him enough.

“Why would I be mad?” he questioned, his voice going deep.

“Because,” you said, and he narrowed his eyes. “Tori told me you do this… thing. Well, really, Mingi told her.” Seonghwa blew air out his lips and let his eyes close for a second. “I’m serious. You gave me a crazy ass hickey, Hwa. Apparently that means I belong to you.” Ignoring how his eyes darkened, you smiled when he did.

“A man can’t just do it ‘cause he likes it?” he snickered, shaking his head. Shrugging your shoulders, his thumb resumed its dance over your skin. “Ror, you don’t belong to me. Did I love our night together, fuck yes, you know how to ride a dick.”

“Hwa!” you giggled, glancing around the cafe, taking a peek at Theo making a drink behind the counter for a customer not present. He didn’t hear him.

“You're cute when your cheeks go all pink,” he mumbled, bringing your attention back to him. “When did you guys happen? At the next one?”

“Jesus, Seonghwa, I’m not an animal.”

“I am,” he smirked, getting the exact reaction out of you he was hoping.

Calming your smile, you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head vigorously. “Stop,” you laughed, “I think it was like a week after, or something. You picked me up and brought me to the party where it all… went to shit, I guess.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“No, it’s not your fault, come on.” Wiggling your hand in his you forced his eyes to yours and you smiled what you could. “I should’ve listened to you.”

Seonghwa took a breath and adjusted himself in his seat. “I mean,” he smirked, “Technicaly you did, I said fuck him.”

Laughing with him, you groaned. “Bad idea. Bad idea.”

“It was?” he asked, leaning forward. “I thought you really liked him.”

“Unfortunately I think I do,” you said. “But, at the same time, and I said this to Tori… I don’t know what that feels like.” Seonghwa zoned in his focus and slowly nodded. “I’m… attracted and all that, but I don’t know what it feels like to… be in love with somebody.”

“Love, sheesh,” he muttered. “Who uses that word anymore?”

“Yunho,” you whispered, giving him a sheepish look, one he raised his brows at. “Yeah,” you sighed. “Don’t spill that to anybody. I trust you.”

Seonghwa smiled. “I know you do, that’s why you let me-“

“Stop,” you cut him off with a wide smile, your tone singing a song. Laying your other hand on top of his, you took a deep breath. “We’re not gonna talk about that, okay?”

“Okay,” he said with a bow of his head.

The door to Blend opened, not nearly as confident as when Seonghwa came in. Turning a bit to peek at who it was, your nerves shook themselves awake.

He didn’t see you until he was at the counter, grabbing onto the small white cup that Theo slid over to him.

“Wooyoung,” Seonghwa said loud enough to get the boy to turn. He wore a leather jacket, one hand shoved inside a pocket, and dark blue denim jeans. The shirt on the inside was black.

Kicking your foot into his shin, you shot Seonghwa a glare. Wooyoung turned, confused as hell, but once he processed it was the two of you, you swore he rolled his eyes.

“Since when did you come here?” Seonghwa asked, sharing an equally confused look with his brother.

Wooyoung sipped his drink and lifted the cup in answer. “I’m here every Wednesday night. Last semester I was here every Tuesday night.”

“And the semester before that?” you questioned, slightly teasing him. He moved his eyes over to you and you felt the earth shake beneath you. Both of you were sober, facing one another for the first time since the end of last year.

“I was here every Monday night.” His gaze hardened.

“Why?” Seonghwa twisted his brows, looking the boy up and down. Wooyoung took two steps closer to the table.

“‘Cause,” he started, lowering his chin, balancing his cup in his hand against his bottom lip.

“Chai tea,” you mumbled, and both Seonghwa and Wooyoung looked at you. The boy across from you raised an eyebrow. “And Blend has the honey your mom uses at home.” Glancing at Wooyoung, he watched you. Subtle shock lived in his face, but he wouldn’t show it.

“You remember that?” he asked quietly.

Nodding with a shrug, you said, “Yeah, you told me about it when she called you to yell at you about your psych grade last year.” Seonghwa, in awe, released your hand. Wooyoung took notice.

“Why these specific days though?” Seonghwa shook his head.

You spoke before either of them could. “It means his hardest classes are today…”

It took you a couple seconds to work up the courage to look at Wooyoung again, but you did, and you found him thinking, his brows pointed and his eyes somewhat soft. Parting his lips as if to speak, he bit down on his bottom one instead and turned to walk out the door, telling Theo, “Thanks, Tae, I sent the money.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes were on you, hot. The moment the door was closed and Wooyoung was gone, he started to laugh.

“Don’t start,” you whispered, looking up at him.

“How can I not?” He shook his hair and sat backward. “That was entirely too adorable, Ror. Remembering his order? Remembering why he came here? You’re a real lover girl, aren’t you?”

Averting your eyes to the table, you pushed your drink aside, feeling too sick to drink anymore. “I just remember,” you shrugged. “It’s important to me. Remembering. Especially things like that.” You looked at him. “If you care about somebody, you tend to remember those things.”

At the word care he scrunched his nose.

Your phone buzzed on the table, both of you glancing at the screen that lit up with Tori’s name. Beneath her message was one from Yunho. Picking it up, you opened his first.

[youknow everythin]: Oh my god, I forgot. Rory. I’m so sorry, holy shit.

You flickered your eyes up at Seonghwa momentarily.

“What happened?” he asked.

He went to see Mina tonight.

“Nothing,” you whispered, focusing back on your screen.

[honey sweetie light of my life (no she didn’t make this her own name in your phone)]: get to the house NOW

[honey sweetie light of my life (no she didn’t make this her own name in your phone)]: ryujin losing her shit hurry hurry i cant get her to stop yelling at yeji

[honey sweetie light of my life (no she didn’t make this her own name in your phone)]: isla is gone, no one knows when she left, her stuff is gone

“Seonghwa, I gotta go,” you mumbled, barely giving him another look, leaving him at the table. Not a word was spoken elsewise. He let you go.

It took ten minutes to walk back to ITZ. Placing a hand over your racing heart, you barreled up the stairs and paused. Through the door, through the walls, Ryujins voice echoed into the outside. It sounded like things were being thrown, there were voices on voices and bangs on bangs.

Pushing the door open you’re greeted by a shoe falling to the floor in front of you from the second floor. Shutting the door with your back, you snapped your neck up and found the back of Yeji, standing against the railing with her arms folded over her chest. The shouting was coming from up there, Ryujin.

“YOU NEVER SAID SHIT YEJI! She’s GONE, where the FUCK did she GO!?”

Bending to pick her shoe up, finding many more littered about the floor, a hand grabbed your wrist and stood you up. Tori, eyes wide and brows high, shook her head and gestured toward the upstairs. “Don’t bother, she launches them back down. Yeji’s dodged almost every sneaker she owns, if we bring them back we’re only supplying her ammo.” She pulled you toward the stairs, out of the way of unidentified flying objects.

“What the hell is happening?” you asked, keeping your voice low. Ryujin still screamed, every profanity possible. Turning to Tori, she cringed. She had been crying, her eyes were glassy. Glancing upstairs, the other girls were either in their doorways or on the other side of the staircase, out of the way of Ryujin’s rage.

“Isla’s gone,” Tori whispered, the tears welling up in her eyes. “All of her things are gone, all of her belongings, her furniture, it’s gone. There isn’t a trace of her in that room. Ryujin came home from class and lost her shit.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” you muttered. “No one’s tried to stop her?”

Tori gave you a look. “That’s her best friend, Ror. If this happened to you, and I suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t you freak the fuck out?”

Your heart sank. “Suddenly? What do you mean suddenly?”

She shrugged, a few tears falling down her cheeks. “No one knew, she didn’t tell anybody.”

“Who?” you whispered. Tori gave you another look, her brows meeting in the middle of her forehead. 

“Isla,” she sighed. “She didn’t say anything, she just… left. Quietly, too, no one knows how she did it.”

Gritting your teeth you took a breath and turned your attention to the senior on the second floor telling Yeji exactly what she thinks about her, and the president was unmoving. Still, not frozen, but still, Yeji watched her. Watched her scream, watched her sob, watched her throw whatever she could at her, and she didn’t say a word.

Now you could be sick. Now you could fall to the floor, your knees weak. Grabbing onto Tori, your best friend wrapped a hand around your back, laying her chin on top of your head, sniffling. 

Yeji knew how she did it. Yeji knew how she left. She knew when she left.

And so did you.

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 6:00 p.m.

Twenty five boys stood on the front steps of the ATZ house. Most of them wore smiles, and neatly buttoned shirts and pants, their hair styled to perfection, standing tall as you and your sisters approached the porch. Whispers moved through their group, the boys excited, and hungry. They had outdone you. ITZ was only bringing ten more girls.

Nineteen of you. There would’ve been more, but those girls you met at the party, and some others, didn’t make it past the cut. Turned down, Yeji signed five letters telling them they weren’t eligible for advancement into the sorority. You weren’t even able to protest without exposing to Yeji what you’d done, having attended the party, and met them in the kitchen when you were plastered. As much as you’d love to have those girls here with you, have them add a little more muscle to your sisterhood, this past month has been too much. You couldn’t risk anything at this point.

Tori, beside you in a little white dress, she slid her arm beneath one of yours and smiled. Her boyfriend was on the porch, standing in front with the original nine of ATZ. He’d already spotted her, the way he teetered back and forth on his feet shifting his weight while he waited patiently for her to find him entirely too adorable. They hadn’t seen one another in a few days, none of you have been here for a few days, both houses have been too busy preparing for this moment, and thankfully so.

Yunho stood next to Mingi, his shirt buttoned in totality, unlike his best friend who left the to one undone. The corners of his lips were turned up. A smile of sorts, but he seemed nervous. His eyes gave him away. The text he sent you Wednesday night, before rushing home to calm Ryujin- which you did- you never answered. He’s sent you a message everyday since, only two, you didn’t get one today, but it didn’t matter.

He forgot to meet you, or he was lying like his stupid girlfriend and he went out with her instead, comforting her and her allegedly real situation. For days she’s moped around the house, taking longer to talk on the phone, hanging around Yeji more than she’s ever had. She’s even taken Tori from you on a few occasions, and your roommate would come back in twenty minutes with some sort of update, telling you that Mina wasn’t feeling any better about the situation.

If she was telling the truth, she had every right to be upset. You understood that more than anybody. You’d go days without hearing from your dad sometimes, it was scary, even if you knew they were coming back. Some days it felt like they never were. Since he’s been back from his work trip in Contramano you’ve heard from him twice. A text when he returned, and then the shortest video call so he could see your smiling face.

Some days you wished you could tell him everything, that he’d be the kind of dad who would listen, and understand. Maybe he’d even give you some advice, tell you how to handle the shitshow you were swept inside of, but no. He’s taught you how to wear false emotion on your face and gave you the skill of juggling multiple situationships at once. Like you, your father didn’t know what love was. You like to think he gave you the best he could, that whenever he told you he loved you, that you were his everything, that he was telling the truth.

Maybe that was enough. The two of you trying your best to be the best people you could be for one another, knowing that at the end of the day it was just you and him. He didn’t want anything to happen to you, and though you longed for him to be detained maybe just one more time so he’d change his life, you didn’t want anything to happen to him either. He did try his hardest to be the best dad, and you could admit you gave him too much shit, but he couldn’t blame you for that. Your father has been through hell and back, a hell that he’s somewhat protected you from, a hell that he’s been learning from. Almost.

Old habits die hard.

Hongjoong stepped down from the porch with his head held high, extending a hand toward Yeji who stood at the front of your group. Smiling, his confidence exuding him, he took her hand and shook it, bowing his head as he did. Yeji returned his smile, matching his energy, and smiled. They exchanged a few words between themselves, the presidents moving with poise and juxtaposition. Hongjoong in a dark suit, his jacket buttoned with no shirt beneath it, and Yeji in a baby blue dress, her hair curled and her skin covered properly. Two halves of a whole, their knowing eyes reading one another with a careful tenacity. No one could deny their power, their own energy almost too much for themselves.

Up on the porch on the other side of the stairs stood Seonghwa, a being most of the girls behind you whispered about. A being that could have any girl in this group. All he’d have to do is point to one, and he’d have them crawling up the stairs. But, his eyes were on you, gentle and soft. When you met them he smiled. Trying to return it, your eyes fell to Vernon standing in front of him.

Brows low, his eyes were sharp, on alert, scanning your group from left to right, and back again. He tilted slightly side to side to get a glimpse of some of the girls hiding behind others. He was looking for something. Someone. When he met your eyes he questioned you with a raise of his brows, the action so small it’d go unnoticed by someone out of the know. Shaking your head, pulling your lips into a frown, you could feel the hurt that cracked his usual stoic expression in half.

Quickly composing himself, he glanced away, focusing on Hongjoong who turned back to his house, but then he narrowed his glare and shot it toward Yeji. Beside him, Wooyoung put a hand on his arm and whispered something to him. The boys spoke back and forth for a second while Hongjoong introduced himself to your sisters and new recruits, Wooyoung taking a peek at you every now and again while Vernon whispered to him.

Yeji introduced herself to the boys on the porch, the majority of the newbies visibly drooling over her. Some took their time with each face, marking their prey before it even stepped through their door. Soul was up there, leaning over the railing to the left of Seonghwa, his two freshman friends with him. The cocky one, Jongseob with his eyes set on Tori, and the shy one, Intak, who wore a smirk, eyes set on a girl somewhere behind you. 

Soul had his eyes on you. Smiling at him, his smirk deepend and he stood up straight, ripping his eyes from you to look at your president.

Both houses recited their mission statements for one another, whipping you into shape quickly, pulling your attention off the boys, and then, you were in the house. 

Dinner for the most part went smooth, to plan, as it should have. The boys let you and your sisters into the house first, their greetings respectful and kind, likely the doing of Hongjoong and Seonghwa. It was how they all moved through dinner as well, respectful and kind, treating the nineteen of you like important guests in their home, serving you, proving themselves. Soul had been the one to bring you a drink, something without alcohol in it.

That was for later.

This was all an act.

The recruits with you expressed their shock, their surprise that the frat house wasn’t a mess, not dirty in the slightest, and you wanted to let them in on a secret, but figured they’d see it soon enough. As soon as the clock struck ten the house flipped over.

For the majority of dinner Yunho kept to himself, hanging around Yeosang who gave you nothing more than a smile, though he hugged Tori. The first of many questionable things to happen within the hours before the party started.

Yunho didn’t say hello, he was actively trying to keep his eyes off of you. Finding something else to occupy him if the two of you got too close, usually another boy or a plate to clean up or a drink to fill.

Seonghwa checked in with you, noticing how Yunho avoided any interaction with you. In front of a group of his freshmen following him around, Soul included, he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled. Soul made sure to touch your shoulder, giving you a shake before they walked away.

Vernon hovered in a corner focused on his phone for most of the dinner, his nails finding themselves between his teeth as he tried to listen to people speak, the higher ups giving tours and sharing makeshift speeches with anyone who’d listen. He couldn’t even entertain the ATZ freshmen when they’d ask him about baseball, he was totally disconnected, and he hadn’t been able to get you alone to ask you what had happened, at least not yet.

Tori and Mingi hung onto one another with class, answering the freshmen’s questions of ‘Are you together?’ with smiles and happy nods. Mina found herself beside them often, Mingi now involved in the comfort Mina project.

Wooyoung hung around the outskirts of the dinner, like he would at any of his parties this semester it seemed. A complete change from how he’d act in the past, outgoing, loud, the center of attention. It didn’t click with you until you heard your friends speak about not being able to find him when they’d come here, that he’d hide. Hide, or just know how to not be seen. Even on social media he’s gone quiet, only the occasional post going up to his story, nothing big, not since that first party when he got you in trouble.

Hongjoong walked around with Jongho, the two of them seemingly becoming partners in crime this semester more so than Hongjoong and Seonghwa. The pair were almost comical, the muscle behind the beauty, like a bodyguard, stopping anybody if they got too close to his president. The sophomore did find himself with Yuna at some point, her chocolate brown curls melting his hardened exterior in seconds. Sharing a job, Yuna would often argue, since last year, that they spoke mainly about work, but the eyes never lie. There was something there.

San, well, he was San. A polite dinner party would not stop him from waltzing around the house without a care, taking after his president, wearing no shirt beneath his suit jacket that he unbuttoned as the night drew on and on. Shamelessly flirting with anybody who’d entertain him, not even knowing he was flirting, he accidentally collected a following, boys and girls alike who some would fall victim to later on.

Somehow you collected your own following. A few of the ITZ recruits found it comfortable at your side, asking you questions about the house, about the boys whenever one would pass by you and shoot you a wink. Ryujin accompanied you, lingering close by with a scowl on her face, and rightfully so. She didn’t want to come tonight, but contractually she had too. Avoiding Vernon for now, she unspokenly clung to you.

When the clock did strike ten, however, everybody changed. The entire house flipped over, and it happened fast.

Red cups littered the place within the hour of the party starting. The lights were shut off, the music had been turned up to a volume one had to shout over, and boys jackets and girls sweaters were draped over any furniture in the vicinity. Pong tables were going in the back of the living room, shouts coming from there, Mingi and Tori’s included. Both you and Ryujin didn’t know what to do, sipping your first drinks of the night, gathering some of the girl's belongings that had been strewn about, you weren’t sure whether to chaperone or drink away your sorrows.

As the first hour progressed, Ryujin decided on the latter. Flopping onto a couch amongst the brothers and sisters chattering away, dancing around the living room, she requested a full cup from an ATZ recruit and he obliged. At least you’d know where to find her, but now this meant you were on your own.

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 11:23 p.m.

“How is Yeji okay with any of this?” Vernon said, walking with you toward the living room, dodging drunk recruits wandering to the kitchen latched to one another's arms. Glancing over your shoulder at the boy and the girl laughing, you sighed.

“It’s tradition,” you suggested, giving him a shrug. “But, it’s funny though, right? She can ban us, but then allow everybody to run free tonight. It’s a tease to these new girls, they’re gonna be so disappointed.”

Taking up a spot on the vacant stairs the two of you sat side by side, Vernon sipping from his cup, his first and only of the night. You were on your second, taking your time, not wanting to be delirious for the whirlwind that already was this night.

“You know,” Vernon started, looking over into the archway of the living room. 

San was on the back of the couch, shirtless, with his tongue down an ITZ recruits throat. You believed she was a sophomore so you didn’t feel the need to run in there and put an end to the way her hands ran over his muscled chest without a care. Even if she was, you weren’t Yeji. The fun would commence, but you’d still keep a watchful eye over your sisters, old and new.

Vernon shook his head. “I don’t even remember what I was gonna say,” he turned to you, “I thought this night was gonna go one way, but it’s gone the exact opposite since you guys got here.” 

Twisting your cup around in your hands, you took a breath. “I know,” you said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” he mumbled, knocking back what was left in his cup. “I just don’t know why she wouldn’t tell me she was leaving.”

Thinking about that night and Ryujins freak out, you circle back to the day before, when Yeji told you that Isla was withdrawing from Nasara and leaving with her brother. It was supposed to make sense, it should make sense, but for some reason, like the rest of the vague bullshit that occurred around here, it didn’t.

“She didn’t tell you anything at all?” you asked, and he shook his head, his brown curls dancing on his forehead.

“Nothing,” he nearly whispered. “I mean, I get it, she doesn’t owe me anything, we only hooked up once and she leaned on me for help, even though I genuinely wanted to help her…”

Letting him vent, you smiled once it was over. “She was still your friend, Vernon. That stuff hurts, and her not telling you that she was leaving should hurt.” He bobbed his head, letting it hang. “When did you guys… If you don’t mind me asking? I didn’t know you guys were like that.”

“Me either,” he admitted with a huff. “She, uh, showed up at my practice Monday night, and you know my coach keeps me late because of the scouting and wants to make sure I’m ready before I go up to triple A. She stayed and watched me hit, watched me work first base, bullying me the entire time- though she has no right ‘cause her brother is a pitcher and I am not, but whatever,” you both laughed, “It was really late, she helped me get my stuff together, followed me into the locker room which she’s done before, but… Something about this time she just… She got me.”

“I’m going to ask you something, please don’t take it the wrong way, okay?” you said, and he nodded. “Was she sober?”

“Completely,” he spoke fast. “Trust me, Ror. Wouldn’t have let her undress me if she wasn’t.”

“You two were really out there living every high schoolers fantasy,” you said with a giggle. “Sex in the locker rooms after baseball practice.”

He shared in your laugh for only a second. “Yeah, and now she’s gone.”

“You can always track her down,” you offered, bumping him with your elbow. “Instagram? Text? She’s with her brother, work your baseball magic and get her.”

He looked at you, his eyebrows lowering over his big brown eyes. “She’s with her brother?” A tiny spark of nerves ignited in your chest. “How do you know that, you’ve heard from her?”

“No, she hasn’t talked to any of us.”

His tone was slowly turning sharp. “Then how do you know she’s with her brother?”

“Yeji,” you whispered, unable to lie to his pretty face. “No, Vernon, wait!”

Leaping from the stairs, Vernon dropped his cup to the ground and barreled into the living room, ignoring your shouts for him to come back. Following him, jumping onto your feet, a hand landed on your shoulder before you could cross under the archway.

“Let me go,” you spat, turning around in haste. “Oh,” you sighed, and the spark of nerves turned into a flame. “What do you want?”

Yunho parted his lips as you tugged your shoulder from his grip. “Can I talk to you?”

“I don’t think so,” you said, and he scrunched up his face. “Go talk to Mina.” Spinning around to follow after Vernon, Yunho yanked you back again. “Let me go, Yo!” Facing him, he tried to put both hands on your shoulders but you swatted him away.

“Rory, can I just-”

“She said to let her go.”

Shooting a glare over your shoulder, Yunho dropped his hands to his sides and said, “You think you really have room to speak here?” Backing up from between them, you glanced at Wooyoung who glanced at you at the same time before piercing Yunho with his glare.

“A girl just told you to take your hands off of her twice, Yunho,” he said. “You think Hongjoong would be pleased to hear that?”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you Wooyoung, you really think he’ll listen to you?”

Wooyoung smiled. “Regardless of what my supposed reputation says about me, what all these people will say about me, never once have I ever been involved in a situation like the one you’re presuming I’ve been.” Yunho clenched his jaw. He caught a glimpse of you, but you were locked in on the boy speaking. “Maybe I’ve done some shitty things, but I know basic respect and consent.”

“Wooyoung, it was only this once,” you muttered, and he looked at you, his eyes swallowing you whole.

“It doesn’t matter, Ro,” he said, his tone calm as he spoke to you. “This is how it starts.” Gesturing behind him with his head, telling you to move along, you listened, and heard Yunho protest as you wandered off into the living room.

“Aurora! Aurora!” San shouted at you from the couch he was on, the sophomore in his lap now, waving for you to join them. There were bodies around them, everyone talking over everyone, taking shots they’d pour with any of the multiple bottles of liquor on the table in the center of the furniture, offering you one as you stepped over their bare legs and sweaty bodies.

“How the fuck did this turn into this so fast?” you breathed, taking the cup from an ATZ recruit, flopping onto the sofa beside San who slung an arm around you. Pressing the cup to your lips you gulped down the, you think, vodka, with a cringe.

“You’re not drunk enough,” San said, grabbing the sophomore by the waist, lifting her with him as he reached for the bottle on the table. She yelped and giggled, grabbing onto him in some way to stay on his front. In the extremely dim light you could make out her pretty face and the several purple marks on her neck from San already. “Why are you not drunk enough? There’s no rules tonight, Ror. Look at what’s happening.”

“I’ve seen what’s happening, Sannie, half of our recruits are being corrupted by yours,” you smirked and he laughed, pouring straight vodka into the cup you held out for him. “You’ve taught them well.”

“I haven’t taught them a thing,” he said, giving you a look. “They came that way. It’s not our fault every single one of you is fuckable.” Twisting the cap on the bottle he tossed it to the other side of the couch and settled his hands on his girl's hips, digging his fingers into her curves. “You know, your girls aren’t totally innocent, they know what they’re doing. They want it too.”

Sipping the liquor, you licked your lips and leaned into him, your noses centimeters apart. His breath hitched in his throat, his eyes darting down to watch your tongue. “It’s not our fault every single one of you is fuckable.” With parted lips, he sighed.

“Wanna join us?” he whispered, poking his tongue out to wet his lips. Honestly weighing the possibilities, the liquor doing nothing to keep you logical, it was possible. “Holy fuck, Aurora,” he muttered. San had an unnatural ability to figure you out, to figure anyone out. It’s how he always got what he wanted, most of the time. That and his physical appearance alone.

“Find me after I finish another drink,” you whispered, and he started to smile. Reading your mind, he met you in the middle and kissed you, your tongues moving in between it all. You’ve kissed him before, once on a dare, and then again on your own. It was all purely platonic, a fact he knew as well.

Ryujin, still planted on the couch across from the other with a girl on her lap now, she watched the three of you.

“Wait, are you serious?” he asked, calling after you as you parted from him and rose from the couch.

Sipping from the cup, you shrugged and said, “Don’t know yet, just come find.” Winking at the girl on his lap smiling at you, you spun around and continued your venture through the house, almost tripping over feet and shoes thrown about, giving them their moment back. If tonight went to shit, if you ended up with nobody, which you were somewhat hoping for now that you were on drink number three, you could possibly want to end up with San. For nothing more than just pure fun.

Tonight was a night for that, for fun. Legal, allowed to be having, type of fun.

Approaching the archway into the second half of the living room, you almost froze. Yeji was coming toward you, her eyes on watch, patrolling the property. As you passed one another her smile grew, and it was anything but comforting like your president's smile should be. It was menacing, the liquor twisting it into something to be afraid of.

“There she is, Ror!”

That was Soul’s voice. Escaping from Yeji you turned to follow the freshmans call, finding him holed up in a corner with a few others, his friends included.

“Come here,” he said, waving you forward with his hand not holding a can. Wandering toward him slightly sideways, he laughed and shook his head, holding open an arm for you to tumble into. “Where’ve you been?”

“Around,” you said, sipping your drink. Soul gave a look to Jongseob to his left and smiled.

“What are you drinking, babe?” he asked, taking the cup from you easily, tipping his chin back to take a sip. “Jesus,” he groaned. “Straight?”

“No, gay,” you said, narrowing your eyes and the boys around you laughed. Soul smirked, pressing you into his chest for a few seconds. “Here’s your fuel.” Handing the cup back to you, he watched you take a bigger sip this time around. “Where are you on your way to? Seonghwa?” Two of the boys snickered, Jongseob and Intak. Turning in Souls arms you gave a look to Jongseob, but then took your time with Intak, watching him clam up beneath your interrogation. 

He wore a suit tonight like the rest of the boys, his hair styled neatly on top of his head. His white button up beneath the black jacket was slightly disheveled, a few buttons undone from the top, not like it was hours ago. Holding a drink, he sipped it and blinked feverishly, his cheeks flushing as you pushed yourself out of Souls arms and wobbled over to him.

“Intak, catch her,” Jongseob muttered, and the boy listened, holding open his arms. Latching onto him, you smiled up at his brown eyes. 

“Is this the chick you were telling us about?” An unknown voice said from behind you. One of the boys they were standing here with. Twisting in Intaks arms, pressing your back to his front, giggling at how he tensed, you found the stranger's face and audibly sighed, expressing your contentment with his appearance. Curly ginger hair shamelessly let his eyes roam about your body.

“Who are you?” you asked. “I’ve never seen you before.”

The boy looked into your eyes and smiled, his even more charming than Jongseobs. “Jiung,” he said, and the name flowed off his tongue with grace. His suit was tailored perfectly to his form, showing off exactly what you’d get beneath it.

“Damn,” you breathed, laying your head onto Intak’s chest. “Why are you all hot?”

The boys broke out in laughter, making you smile. Intak slid an arm around your waist, keeping you close to him.

“Yeah, this is the chick you were telling me about,” Jiung said to Soul.

Looking at him, you asked, “What’s that mean?”

Soul faced you, put a hand on your cheek and pinched your skin. “Don’t worry about it.” Sharing a look with his friend that you pushed your ass against, he raised a brow. “Remember what you said about Intak?”

“I do,” you said. “How could I forget, Soul, he’s so cute.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, with a smirk, “So are you.” Soul’s smile was satisfied. Looking at Jongseob you said, “And so are you, and you.” You added a glance to Jiung as well.

“Aurora, where’s your friend?” Jongseob asked, ignoring your compliment. “The tall one, brown hair, big eyes… Boyfriend.”

Your brows shot up. “Tori?” you snickered, putting your hand over Intaks, sliding it higher on your torso. Soul and Jiung watched it move, both shocked and disappointed you stopped before it reached your chest.

“Yeah, Tori,” Seob’s eyes flashed with something dark.

“Me?” Her voice was heard before she was seen, and in a flash she was glaring around at the boys and snatching onto your wrist, pulling you off of Intak. “What’s going on here?”

“We’re just talking,” Soul said, tucking his hands behind his back. Intak shoved a hand into his pocket quickly. Tori looked him up and down and scoffed.

“You guys are disgusting,” she sneered. “Welcome to ATZ, you fit right in.” Her eyes found Jongseob last, and when he winked at her her entire body reacted, shivering as she held onto you. “I can have Mingi over here in seconds.”

“Do it,” Jongseob challenged, and Tori’s eyes shot open wide.

“Leave me alone, Seob,” she said, her tone packing a punch. “Come on,” she said to you. “How are you messed up already, who’s making you drinks?”

Watching her while the two of you walked toward the back of the living room, rather, while Tori supported your body weight as she walked toward the other room, she didn’t seem all that drunk. She could hold her drinks better than you could, that was a fact, but at this point in the night she’d be a giggling mess under Mingi’s arm.

“Are you drinking?” you asked.

“Of course I am,” she said. “I’m just not drinking fast,” she glanced down at you. “I didn’t think you wanted to get drunk tonight.” Moving around the crowd around the tables focused on the dual games going on, Mingi towering over the crowd around one end, Tori maneuvered you onto one of the leather couches pushed against a wall. A couple of other girls sat close by.

“Not drunk,” you mumbled, and Tori sat next to you with a laugh.

“Okay, then what are you?” Her tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Horny now,” you said, laughing and she slapped a hand to her mouth, holding back her own laugh. “Have you seen all of these boys?”

“I have,” she said. “Jongseob has been flirting with me all night, and unfortunately he’s really good at it. I’m seconds away from telling Mingi to stand in front of me for the rest of the night.”

“Where have you been? In here?” you asked, taking a bigger gulp from your cup, almost finishing the liquor in it. Tori nodded, her eyes scanning the room.

“Me and Mina were playing over here not too long ago,” she said and your stomach sunk. “She’s still upset, I’m trying to keep it fun for her tonight.”

The light feeling your drunkenness was giving you fell flat, like you just crashed through several floors of a building. “She’s a liar.”

Groaning, Tori tipped her chin back. “Don’t start with this, Ror.”

“No,” you said, a little louder. “I think I will start with this, ‘cause it’s all… screwy, Tor.”

“How?” Your best friend pressed her lips together and put her hands in her lap.

Holding up a finger, you said, “First of all, I saw that video, her brother is at home.”

“Okay?” Tori shrugged. “Maybe he was missing that morning, and then he came back home. She can still be upset.”

“For this long, though?” you questioned, twisting on the couch to face her entirely. “Get over it already, man, it’s been a week. I once didn’t hear from my dad for a month, you think I let that hang over me once he came back? No!”

Tori tilted her head, sliding a hand over your leg. Not picking up on her attempt to comfort you, you continued.

“And, not for nothing, but it really seems like she’s milking the whole thing. Her brother had problems, we know this, don’t we all have problems?”

Tori glanced up behind you, behind the end of the couch and sat up straight. “Ror, hang on, Ror.” Grabbing onto a hand she held out to you, you shook your head. “No! She’s, like, using it for attention. Who in their right, conscience mind would use their own brother for their own personal gain? He has problems, Tor, and she’s using them to her advantage. My god, she’s already Vice President, what, does she want to take Yeji’s job? No one wants Yeji’s job. Either way, she’s lying!”

“Aurora,” Tori whispered, her eyes wide. “Stop talking.”

“Everyone wants to shut me up,” you grumbled, messily slipping out of her grip. “Can’t do anything, or anyone in this place without being burned at the stake for it.” Standing to your feet you turned to walk out of the room, but froze in place. 

Her eyes were as wide as Tori’s, but not as full of shock. Instead they were pointed, and angry.

“You think I’m lying?” Mina spoke through her teeth.

Downing the rest of the contents in your cup, you dropped it to the floor and started to smile. “I don’t think you’re lying, I know you’re lying.”

“Aurora,” she said. “You think I would do that?” Nodding without a care, you crossed your arms. “Why?” Breathless, she spared Tori a glance who stood up behind you.

“Because,” you started, then laughed when Yunho conveniently appeared behind her. “Of course,” you threw a hand toward him, “Thanks for showing up.” Looking at Mina you pointed at Yunho. “That’s why.” 

Mina looked at him, her brows screwing up on her forehead. “What!?” She whipped her head back to you, her bob swinging beneath her chin. “You think I would lie for Yunho? He has nothing to do with this.” The boy's eyes shot open, catching on.

“Not for him, Mina, to have him,” you said, speaking slowly, chopping up your words like she was a child. “You need his attention so bad that you’ll lie to keep it, ‘cause you have some sixth sense that tells you that he’s been-” “Aurora!” Tori shouted, taking your wrist, tugging you backward.

Mina grit her teeth. “You’ve been jealous since last year, Aurora.” She threw a hand behind her to touch Yunho’s chest. “He would tell me all about it.” 

You met his eyes, his worried, anxious gaze.

“The complaints, ugh,” Mina rolled her eyes, looking up at him. “Don’t deny it, Yo. Remember in the summer?” She looked at you, her glare hot. “You wouldn’t leave him alone, Ror, it was pretty desperate.” 

You felt like you’d been kicked in the gut. Yunho couldn’t say a word, he could only watch his world burn in front of him.

“I’d have left him alone if he told me he was with you,” you spat, testing your limits in Tori’s grasp, attempting to lunge forward. “Your boyfriend didn’t tell me a thing.” Mina shared a look with him.

“Aurora, don’t you dare say anything you’re gonna regret,” Tori whispered to you. Some people had their heads turned toward you and Mina’s shouting, watching the scene take place. “Don’t be stupid.”

“You know he complained about you too, Mina,” you said, cocking your head to the side. Grinning, you laughed aloud. “Is she why you always needed two rounds, Yo?” Something flashed across her face, but you couldn’t read what. Yunho, though, looked like he’d been shot. “He’s been fucking me since May, Mina,” you curled your lip. Her face went unchanged. Gasps were heard around you. Lunging in Tori’s hold again, you laughed. “He kisses you but he’s inside of me.”

Tori attempted to walk away with you, but your feet dug into the floor. This was entirely too much fun, better than joining San and his latest conquest into his bedroom. She spoke to someone behind you, but your ears were ringing, you could hear your blood pumping.

“Just wait till you get him like that,” you said. “If you ever get over yourself and let a boy touch you.” Stumbling over your feet you headed toward the archway with Tori. “Ask him to get on top, you’ll love the face he makes!”

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 1:10 a.m.

[hbic]: She confessed. Straight up. Word for word.

[seonghwa]: What the fuck, now what? If she outed herself, no sense in us doing it all over again.

[hbic]: Yeji is expecting it from us. I’ll tell her what happened. Will let you know what we’re doing.

september 28th ~ saturday ~ 1:13 a.m.

“Stay here.” Tori’s tone was stern, her hands firm on your shoulders as she propped you in the corner of the empty kitchen. Everybody danced about the living room, or the hallway, even the upstairs. There wasn’t much for them here except for a quiet space. “You’re insane, Ror, insane.” She hurried from the corner, your voice stopping her for a few seconds.

“Where are you going?” you asked, peeking at her from around the fridge. Her hair flipped over her shoulder, her eyes ablaze.

“To clean up your mess.”

Laughing as she walked away toward Mingi waiting in the doorway glaring at you, you attempted to run through what had just happened, what you threw in Mina’s face, what you had done to you and Yunho’s relationship, and you couldn’t comprehend it. You couldn’t figure out why you did it, why you said what you said, but it felt really good to say it to her face. To finally be rid of a secret that was becoming too heavy to carry. Last you heard, he was with her anyway. He could comfort her if she was upset, if she was hurt. Though, she didn’t show much of that.

She didn’t show much of anything.

Sliding down to the tiled floor, your smile dropped, and you took in the quiet. A sound so loud, even with the bumping of the music across the house. Alone with the room spinning, you took a shaky breath and felt the familiar lump in your throat.

“Why am I gonna cry?” you mumbled to yourself, attempting to blink away the tears welling up in your eyes.

Don’t cry, you thought. She deserved it.

You suppose Yunho deserved it, too. This whole time, bouncing back and forth between the two of you, even if he made the whole thing out to be him not so interested in Mina, and very much interested in you. Your closest friend of almost three years now, playing you like a fool. Confused, because it didn’t seem like he wanted to be playing you, you’re reminded of what you thought of when Mina was telling you about how good Yunho was that first week back.

Yes, him.

Yes, Yunho.

You should’ve taken your own advice.

Tears fell steadily now, staining your cheeks, falling onto the sundress you wore. You could’ve stopped it, you had all the power in the world to put an end to you and Yunho, but something kept you going, and you’re not sure if it was him or if it was your own fucked up perception of love. He spoke empty words, and you took it like he was giving you the stars from the sky. Depth didn’t exist. He didn’t remember. He never remembered.

You took his crumbs and were content with starving. For what?

“Ro?”

Lifting your head, going dizzy, you tried to wipe your cheeks but it was no use, the tears were replaced in seconds. Blinking, you found Wooyoung making his way through the kitchen, a certain hurriedness in his walk.

“You’re gonna make this worse,” you cried, squeezing your eyes shut.

He paused in front of you, squatting down. “Ro, I don’t want to make it worse, I want to help.” His voice mimicked the way he was just walking, quick and rushed, all while trying to stay calm.

“Why do you want to help me?” Opening your eyes, he wore that face he’d give you months ago.

“Because you’re really drunk,” he said carefully. Reaching out a hand, two of his fingers touched the hem of your dress and tugged it over your legs where your knees were pulled into your chest. “You don’t have to like me, you can hate me all you want right now, but please, just trust me. Let’s go outside.”

Sliding your legs out straight, your feet touched his ankles. Sighing, you shook your head and let out a cry. “It’s because of you.” Wooyoung raised a brow. “You did this.”

He held back his smile. “I got you trashed and on the floor of the kitchen?”

Holding back your own smile, you sniffled and whined. “It started with you, all of this, you’re why it’s a mess, you’re why this is happening. I was trying to get over you, and I made a mess.”

Glancing away for a second, Wooyoung held out a hand and released a breath. “Okay, let me make it up to you then, please. Come outside with me.”

“Why?” Giving him a look, he returned it.

“Because,” he said, looking toward the entrance of the kitchen. “There’s people who aren’t nice in this house.”

“And you are nice?”

Wooyoung sighed, shaking his outstretched hand he wanted you to take. “I’m trying to be nice.”

Scoffing, you shook your head. “Nice for what?”

He took a breath and looked you dead in the eyes. “Because you may have gotten over me, but I am not over you.”

He may as well have sucker punched you in the chest. You couldn’t feel your body. You were drunk, but you were not expecting those words to come out of him.

“I don’t believe you,” you whispered, and he cringed.

“I don’t expect you too, not after what you’ve been through,” he muttered, shaking his hand for the last time. “Not after what they’ve put you through.”

What?

“I told you, Ro,” he said, his voice tiny. “These people will snuff out anything standing in their way of what they want. They will get what they want, that’s why we need to leave.”

“What are you talking about?” Finally taking his hand, he sighed in relief and helped you to your feet, but it was too late.

“Oh, good,” Yeji said, turning into the kitchen with Mina and the rest of the board, from both houses, behind her. Even Tori. Even Yunho, and Mingi. “You’ve got her, good work, Wooyoung.”

He shook his head and moved in front of you. “No, I didn’t get her, I didn’t find her. We’re leaving.” 

Hongjoong, with his hands folded in front of him, laughed. “I don’t think so.”

“Aurora,” Yeji took the attention back. Peeking at her from over Wooyoung's shoulder, you stepped to his side and tightened your grip on his hand. Tori’s tear filled eyes glanced at them, then let out a quiet cry. “Something has been brought to my attention.”

Taking in the other girls, Yuna was in shock, her hands planted to her chest. Chaeryeong and Mina though, they were smiling. Tori clamped a hand over her mouth and looked at Mingi for help. Her boyfriend could only shake his head. In disappointment? In disapproval? You weren’t sure.

“What has?” you asked, hoping to play dumb, but these girls were smarter than that. Yeji was smarter than that.

Towering in the archway, Seonghwa hung his head low, piercing you with his gaze. Jongho stood behind Hongjoong as usual, wearing some form of shock like Yuna. Then Yunho, jaw tight, eyes glassy, he couldn’t look at you.

“Not only have you broken a brand new rule that’s been set into place, you’ve also broken the trust of several members of both houses,” she took a few steps into the kitchen. “Not only that, but it’s been going on for a while. Since we’ve been back, is that right Mina?” She glanced over her shoulder and the sleek brown bob gave her a nod.

“I didn’t mean to,” you whispered, throat tightening. Grabbing onto Wooyoung's arms with your other hand, you pressed your fingers into his skin. A few recruits wandered up behind the board members, curious. “I promise, I didn’t mean to.”

“That doesn’t matter, unfortunately,” Yeji said, a ghost of a smile haunting her lips. “There are consequences.” She shifted her eyes over to Wooyoung and batted her lashes. “Wooyoung, you’re not needed any longer, you can leave.”

Your heart burst into pieces. Tears thickened, you let go of him, but he didn’t let go of you. Looking at you, Wooyoung gulped, then shook his head.

“No,” he said, and Yeji’s demeanor faltered.

“Wooyoung,” she said, her voice dripping with venom. He shot her a look and fully laced his fingers with yours.

Shaking his head again, he said, “No.” Taking a few steps forward with you, he said, “Let us through. We’re leaving.” Jongho stepped around Hongjoong, coming closer to the two of you. Wooyoung looked up at him and snickered. “Come on, man, let us through. I don’t feel like making a mess of anyone's kitchen tonight.”

“Wooyoung,” Yeji snapped. “Let her go, and leave the room.”

He half listened to her. Taking his hands off of you, he clenched his jaw and walked up to her. Entirely vulnerable before all of them, you wrapped your arms around yourself and dug your nails into your skin.

“Good job,” Yeji smiled at him. She lifted a hand to touch the bottom of his chin. “Your work here is done.”

Smacking her hand away before it could touch him, Chaeryeong gasped and Mina narrowed her eyes as Wooyoung opened his mouth. “It is, Yeji. My work here is done. I’m done playing your game. I’m done being a puppet.”

“Wooyoung,” Yeji whispered, her fists clenching at her sides. “Watch it, you know what’s going to happen.”

Looking back at you, Wooyoung shrugged. “I think it’s pretty worth it.”

“You don’t even know if she’ll want you,” Yeji said, her voice never breaking. “You’ll lose all of this,” she gestured to everyone behind her. “You could make it out of this with nothing, or, you could walk out of here with us on your side. You take your pick.”

He smiled at her. Looking at his brothers, he nodded. Hongjoong stared him down, his eyes flickering to Yeji for a few seconds. When Wooyoung turned to come back to your side, you let him take your hand. He was wearing that face again. That I care about you face.

“Wooyoung,” Hongjoong almost shouted.

“You have several other pawns to play with,” Wooyoung snapped at him. Then he looked at you. He made sure you were looking at him when he nodded. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and you couldn’t feel your knees. “I want you to believe me, but I understand if you don’t, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Last semester,” he started, and the nausea must’ve been apparent on your face because he slid a hand over your cheek as tears fell. “What you thought happened? What you think we did? Me and Yeji?” You took a shaky breath and he brushed away tears beneath your lashes. “It didn’t happen. It never happened.”

The boys in the archway whispered to one another, turning into a circle while Yeji, Chaeryeong and Mina watched them, waiting for something.

“What?” you gasped, eyes shooting open wide.

Wooyoung nodded. “It wasn’t real. It was made up, it was a lie. I never slept with her, she made it seem like we did.” Making sure you kept your eyes on him, he squeezed your hand. “Aurora, I was hurting. You were clearly in love with him, and I was watching it happen. I wanted to give you… everything. I’ve never felt like this about somebody, ever, and I barely even had you.”

There weren’t any words you could piece together to give him any sort of answer. Beside yourself, you could only coach yourself to take deep breaths.

“I fell into their game, and it was easy to do, you know what everybody thinks of me,” he said, and that hurt your heart more than it should. “I don’t understand how I’m sluttier than San, but that’s besides the point.”

“What’s the point?” you whispered.

Wooyoung took a breath. “You were supposed to be the president, Ro.” Your legs almost gave out. Moving his arms to your waist, he held onto you. “She paid them off. They wanted you. The others wanted you. When the houses came together to decide who’d move up, who’d get the spot, your name was on the list.” He gestured his head toward the archway. “They still have the fucking papers, I’ve seen them.”

“Tori,” you whispered, and Wooyoung listened. “Tori knew? Yuna?” You both lifted your heads to look their way. Chaeryeong, Mina and Yeji joined the group of boys. Tori and Yuna were against the wall, holding onto each other. They didn’t know. Your best friend pleaded with you with her eyes to believe her. Mingi moved from the group, his own eyes wide, joining his girlfriend who pushed him away.

“Ro, they wanted to get you out,” Wooyoung whispered. “I’ve been watching all of this happen since last semester. I know that makes me not a great person right now, I could’ve told you, but there was a lot at stake. A lot that I’m not afraid to risk right now, because this is ridiculous.”

“What is it? What’s going to happen?”

“He’s done, Aurora,” Hongjoong said, loud enough to cut into the bubble you and Wooyoung were creating around yourselves. “He’s out. No more ATZ for Wooyoung.”

NU home ✧ nice for what masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

[ddejavvu]

Could you plz write abt Eddie x gf reader? The gist is Jason constantly picking on him + being cruel, but Ed never pays any mind + just responds in his Eddie fashion. But as soon as Jason says something about the reader, he defends her and goes ape shit on him. Sadly Ed loses the fight and comes home w/ a black eye and reader tries to figure out how he got it, but he doesnt have the heart to tell her what Jason said + tries to lie. Reader comforting Eddie would be nice to see for a change :'))

You don't bother turning when you hear the door to Eddie's trailer open, knowing you'll be jammed against the counter in a hug faster than you can. But when you don't feel Eddie's face smashed into your own you frown, spinning on your heel to see what the hold up is.

It's a black eye. And a split lip. And a mysterious trickle of blood down his cheek. There's a smattering of scrapes and rouge at his knuckles, too, and he's standing off-kilter. Your boy is beaten.

"Eddie!" You shriek loudly in alarm. You realize too late that he's got a headache, only realizing when he winces and a battered hand shoots up to cover his left ear.

"I- I'm sorry," You hastily babble, rushing to his side, "What happened? Who- who did this, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," He assures you, though the nod of his head is wobbly, "I'm just gonna clean up in the bathroom, alright sweets?"

"No- no! Eddie," You rush to stop him, only slightly guilty to hinder progress in the name of information, "Please, just tell me what happened. I'll help you clean up, I- I just need to know!"

"It was Jason," Though he answers your question, he evades the underlying question after it with a sad smile, "'Should'a known one of these days he was gonna swing."

"I don't get it," You sniffle, moved to tears by Eddie's black-and-blue eye. You lead him into the trailer's bathroom, fumbling with disinfectant and a cotton ball, "He bothers you every day. He's never punched you before. What- what did he do? What was different?"

"Just felt like starting shit, I guess." Eddie shrugs, but his eyes are deep with concern. You bite the inside of your cheek, hating how defeated he looks as his eyelashes flutter shut for you to dab at the injury.

"I won't be mad at you, you know. If you were the first to swing. I- I'm not calling you a liar," You assure him when he goes stiff, "This just seems.. off."

"Yeah." He nods solemnly, eyes firmly shut even after you're done cleaning his cuts, "It- it was off. He just.. fuck, I know he was just saying it to get a rise out of me, I know he'd never say it to you or anything but I just couldn't let it slide. I didn't know his friends were gonna see us, I- I wouldn't have started anything if I knew I couldn't have finished it."

He rambles with the vigor of an excited child, all slurred words and hand gestures, though he's more like an accused in court. Your brain catches on one sentence and pulls the thread from the scene he'd woven you, and you fray it while you bandage his cut.

"To me? He'd never say it to me?"

His eyes scrunch even tighter shut, and you know he's realized his mistake.

"I didn't mean to say that," He grits his teeth, "Just- Just please pretend I didn't say that? I feel like I got threaded through a meat grinder," He huffs, rubbing at his good eye with a bloodied hand, "Do I get a deathbed wish for that?"

"You always say your deathbed wish is gonna be to buzz Steve's hair," You murmur, cupping his bandaged cheek as light as a feather, "Please tell me the truth, Eddie."

He sighs; you've got him.

"He said shit about you. He said- said you'd regret dating me. 'Said I'd drag you down until you were 'trailer trash' just like me and Wayne. I- God, I'm so scared of that, Y/N, I just.. I freaked out."

"I like your trailer," You hum after a tense moment of silence, prolonged eye contact between your sympathetic ones and his glossy ones.

He cracks a smile, but it doesn't reach his good eye.

"You're not dragging me down," You promise him, "You make me happy. I don't need to live in a penthouse to be successful, that comes from emotional fulfillment."

"Yeah? And you, uh, you think I fill you up?"

It's a joke; you're back in his comfort zone. He shoots you as much of a smirk as he can with one bad eye, and you bite your lip to stop from grinning too hard.

"You stuff me full," You gush, "I'm all filled up with ooey gooey, mushy gushy, sappy sweet love, Eddie, and every time you hug me it oozes out of me like slime."

"My slimy girl," He croons, laughter bubbling up in his chest even though you suspect it aches, "So sticky."

He yanks you in by your waist from where he's sitting on the toilet lid. He buries his face in your stomach and you're worried he'll aggravate his black eye, but he sighs in content.

"I know it was stupid," He sighs, nose prodding at your skin, "I just.. I don't like it when he sees through me like that. I always thought I kept everything pretty hidden, but I guess I'm afraid of what everyone else is. Ruining you."

You think he says it into your stomach so he doesn't have to look you in the eyes. You sigh, running a hand through his curls and cringing when one is caked in blood. His arms tighten around your waist at the contact, and you speak without planning ahead, a heartfelt ramble.

"You couldn't ruin me, Eddie. You make me happy, even if no one else wants to admit it. I don't care that you're still in senior year. I don't care that your uncle is your dad. I don't care that you live in a trailer. I don't care that you play dungeons and dragons. If I disliked any of those things I wouldn't be with you. You- you have to know how much I love you," You breathe shakily, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, "Eddie, I have dreams about you. Just- mundane stuff, like vacuuming. Last night I had one where you were organizing your socks. And I woke up smiling. Our lives aren't boiled down to anything besides us, Eddie. I love you, and you love me, and that's why I'm happy."

Once you stop talking, shut your brain down from where it had been tipped on its side and gushing love, you realize your shirt is wet. He's shaking, shoulders trembling as he sobs into your stomach. When he looks up at you it's with a pathetic puppy-eyed pout, split lip wobbling.

"You dream about me," He wails, "I dream about you too! I dream about- about marrying you, about living together, trailer or no trailer. And- and I dream about falling asleep with you every night for the rest of my life," He chokes on his emotions, "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Eddie." You smile, watery as it curls over your face. He rushes to stand, nose bumping your own as he nuzzles his face against your skin. His shaky exhale washes over your face and smells like the blood caking his lips, but you let him press them to your cupid's bow without protest.

"I want to rearrange my socks now," He admits, a teary chuckle in his throat, "You can sit on the bed and watch. Be pretty, n'all that."

"I think you should rest," Your eyes are smiling just as much as your mouth is, sparkling with adoration, "But tomorrow can be sock day."

"Deal," He nods, one of his tears pressing into your own cheek and wetting your skin, "Tomorrow, and every day for the rest of our lives."

[mermaidsirennikita]

frustrating levels of discourse continue happening on twt ugh https://x.com/lara_e_brown/status/1839303817256645101

Lol yeah, I've honestly just given up on reading takes like that because once you've seen one, you've seen 'em all.

It's an extremely shallow reading, using things like "pale", which you can in fact be while having a darker complexion, with both examples relating less to a physical appearance and more to his aspect in the moment (his face is "white" because he's scared; he's "pale and effeminate" because he's in a wan and weakened state). And I say "both" because you tend to come up with faaaar fewer examples of the text relating Heathcliff as pale than... not.

I also find it funny that this user uses Heathcliff marrying Isabella as an example of why he MUST be white, when Heathcliff and Isabella literally run away together because nobody wants them to be together, PARTICULARLY her brother, and this rips the Linton family asunder. Almost as if.......... it was............... breaking a taboo......................

Like, yeah! 18th century Yorkshire wouldn't have accepted that marriage. And if there's one thing we know about Heathcliff—if it's not accepted, he's not gonna do it.

One of the entire points of his character is that he lives against law and taboo and societal norms (while at the same time being deeply aware of the fact that his existence doesn't gel with them). In that thread, that user references the Byronic hero, with the name drawing from Lord Byron and his own literary fascinations. Byron was obsessed with taboo, lived to break them (most famously the taboo of sleeping with people of the same sex, and probably the taboo of incest as well... COME TO MY TED TALK TO DISCUSS HOW THAT COULD RELATE TO HEATHCLIFF, ALSO). One of the reasons why more recent scholarship (and I don't even mean super recent) surrounding Wuthering Heights has come to terms with the interpretation of Heathcliff as a man of color is that he does embody the taboo even more.

And obviously... some taboos (the incest one) exist for a reason. But the book also seems interested in questioning how much we really gain by treating someone (someone like Heathcliff) as other and wrong simply for existing. Again, we go into the cycle of abuse.

I also find it rather belittling of people to refer to general 18th and 19th century values when discussing how people "would have" seen Heathcliff, or interpreted the text. Because, for one thing—yeah! A lot of contemporary readers did not in fact Get It. Perhaps in part because they did have the biases that people like that user seem to believe would have prevented the author from exploring Heathcliff as a man of color.

... But if Emily Bronte thought exactly as the detractors of her novel (who condemned it as wicked and aberrant) did, she never would have written the book, I think. Who's to say, though? It's difficult for EITHER side to make leaps about what Emily knew or thought, because she is someone who didn't live very long, has been portrayed as an eccentric (and perhaps even maligned by Elizabeth Gaskell's portrayal of her) and definitely had something of an offbeat upbringing. We just don't have much directly from HER. So it's a bit rich to me to make assumptions about the kind of limited worldview she may have had on topics like race, when we really do not have a lot of definitive information about her worldview, but DO know that the book she wrote, which some theorize to be about a man of color, REALLY upset some conventional readers.

Like... why would you contextualize that book within a purely conventional reading when the entire reason why Wuthering Heights matters is that it defies convention?

I do shy away from using the word "canonical" to describe Heathcliff's race, because while I know what people mean when they say it (and I'm sure I've said it at some point) it's just a word choice that people like that user will latch on to. Like I've said before, there is no way to prove with 100% certainty Heathcliff's race either way. Which isn't to say that you have to do so to state that he's a man of color. It's just the kind of pedantic strategy people will use in threads like these.

And I'll notice, too, that she omits Nelly's line wherein she speculates that Heathcliff's mother could be Chinese or Indian. I mean, what's her take on that specificity combined with the lascar speculation? No mention of Liverpool relating to people... not... from America or Spain...?

I do worry sometimes that people see someone's major concentration (say, if someone has a BA in English or something, which for the record I don't) and go "Damn, that's end-all, be-all" A) it's not, there's more to research than getting a degree B) you could also use literal wikipedia footnotes to kickstart your own deeper dive into this, there are tons of people who've made careers discussing books like WH debating the issue C) having a degree of any level never kicks your bias.

To go back to my own degree... I knew old art historians who saw nothing gay at all in Michelangelo's work. You can know a lot about a lot, and it doesn't mean you have an open mind.

I think anyone can read WH, do some research about the era and Emily, and drawn their own conclusions. And you are just going to have to make your conclusions based on your own assessment. There is no smoking gun here, and there never will be because the smoking gun would be a living Emily Bronte willingly telling you what she meant.

And I didn't read Heathcliff as a person of color from the jump, for the record. I was thirteen when I read that book for the first time; I'm white; I picked that book in the context of it being a Great English Classic, and as far as I knew, those were all about white people. Because... that's what you were taught about WH at the time, at least where I was.

But when I was first introduced to that interpretation some time later, it was a literal "OH!" moment. Because like... yeah. There isn't a smoking gun for Dorian Gray's sexuality (and yes, we know a lot more about Oscar Wilde than we do about Emily Bronte; but the absence of knowledge of Emily's interests and attitudes doesn't mean we can assume she DIDN'T have an interest in writing Heathcliff as a person of color) but The Picture of Dorian Gray makes way more sense when you interpret his queerness for what it is. Wuthering Heights makes way more sense when you interpret Heathcliff's race for what it is.

[autisticstarscream]

read the entire spoiler thread for star and lord. i have opinions.

im so genuinely confused on how the erins have genuinely degraded so bad in writing. 90% of riverclan being excused for their awful behavior bc "woah! splashtail was threatening kits!!!" GUYS. THERE IS ONE OF HIM.

Berryheart makes me so genuinely mad. her and curlfeather being reflections of one another but treated so differently is wild. what do you mean berryheart saved sunbeam before she killed so that gives her a "noble death" thus she could possibly go to starclan, meanwhile curlfeather did literally the EXACT SAME THING and was initially banished to dark forest before she gets her little limbo world.

the audacity to have characters respect berryheart after her blantant crimes and say she really was a good person only for the narrative to turn around and condemn curlfeather for the EXACT SAME ACTIONS is annoying. specifically also because genuinely? despite the execution curlfeather was right. mistystar sucked as leader in the end and her son being deputy meant we'd get a boring ass riverclan considering reedwhisker literally has no personality.

like. im fine with frostpaw not being leader and her name. im happy the leader is icewing bc i KNEW it was gonna be her. but god i really wish they would just stop writing these books. the keep bringing in so much good potential with plots and then immediately fuck it up in the first two books thus making the plot stagger through the remaining 4. i know people will just say "just stop reading" but my autism will not let me. i need to know whats happening in canon warriors but i just keep getting disappointed.

i have no hope for the next arc. considering squirrelstar openly wanting no more clan transfers (meaning. no more new bloodlines, considering the one (sunbeam) is immediately pairing up with firestars bloodline, meaning her addition is now useless in the way of adding new genetics to thunderclan), it makes me scared for what other fucked up pairings are gonna happen in thunderclans future.

god im just. so pissed. its so bad. nightheart doesnt even hate being compared to firestar anymore. the only arc in this that felt worthwhile is frostdawns and honestly. i think SHE shouldve been the one to care more for her mother after death rather than sunbeam and berryheart. it wouldve been more interesting to have a medicine cat be critical of starclan and have an active connection to a dark forest cat. but the erins hate making starclan look bad and are so obsessed with making the themes so devout towards starclan that it hurts.

[pastafossa]

I GOT TICKETS TO SEE CHARLIE AT COMIC CON!!!!! ᗡ:

I'm gonna get to get an autographed photo with him and go to panels and I'm so excited asdgdhd :>

Do you have any tips on how not to freak out during the photo op?

OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU YESSSSSS! Like LOOK, I've met celebs before, big names and small, at cons and signings and stuff. Most of them are really cool about it. But Charlie was by far the nicest, most genuine celeb I've had the pleasure of meeting. So you're in good hands here.

Sexy... sexy hands *heavy breathing*

Some tips that helped, some of which I got from other Daredevil fans here who'd met him before me!

The biggest one is try to prepare for the photo op to go FAST and for that sudden moment you're right up there with him, cause you'll easily get flustered otherwise. When they were taking me and @wonderlandmind4 through the op, we had maybe twenty seconds. It went: come in, say hi and introduce yourself (he asks your name quite frequently which is lovely), you set up the photo real quick if it's anything other than arms around shoulders (this is when I was like, 'can you hold the other end of this up to your chest?' with the red thread I'd made, and others quickly explained all the poses for their pics), they take the photo, then he shakes your hand (this is where I said, 'thank you SO much Charlie), he usually thanks you for coming by name (I got lucky and got a, 'and you as well my dear, have a lovely day' after I thanked him, FUCKING. SWOON.) , and you're out. So basically the speed can absolutely throw you, because you basically come around the corner and BOOM, he's right there, shaking your hand, smiling at you, and holy shit does he make genuine eye contact which is absolutely capable of stunning you up close. Like, I'd been warned and I still had to fight a momentary burst of white noise in my brain.

If you're going to say something here about loving his work or what Daredevil means to you (other than just, 'oh my god this is awesome' or something), I'd try to pick something short and impactful, but fast. A sentence, maybe two when you're introducing yourself is all you'll have time for, so make it count. Don't be afraid to write it out and then edit it down until it's just right. "Hi, I'm *insert name*, I'm so happy I finally get to meet you." Or "Hi, I'm *insert name*, your work has meant a lot to me, thank you for doing this." Something like that. Quicky funny lines would also probably go down just fine. The important part to know is while he does the best he can, the con itself is running this and they're usually trying to move you through like cattle, so he's limited in how much time he can spend with each person before he's gotta run off to a panel. So if what you've got is short, that'll help you be ready.

Practice, practice, practice. Practice what you're going to say if you need to. Make sure you can run through it on instinct to minimize chances of forgetting what to say or do. And if you have a certain way you want to look, practice that, too. My picture is fucking hilarious to me and fam because while I got through my practiced line about asking him to hold the red thread, I completely forgot how I was going to pose or how I'd planned to smile, and my entire fam knew what had happened the second they saw my absolutely over the moon goofy smile and the way I clearly forgot what to do with the hand I didn't have over his shoulder. Which I wound up liking cause it's a very genuine photo, but some people want something a bit more controlled LOL.

And lastly, because it's worth a repeat: just know that he really does try to make this go well. He's incredibly genuine and nice, and I honestly think he works to make himself very approachable, likely because he knows a lot of us are nervous as hell. One of my friends at the con (who, hilariously, I didn't know was there and who didn't know I was there until he saw me in Charlie's autograph line - I didn't see his message asking if that was me until later) where I met Charlie, was in a REALLY long line for one of the other actors who wound up staying late to sign. He said Charlie stayed just as late to make sure absolutely everyone who'd bought an autograph ticket got their autograph since the con had been kinda disorganized and there were a lot of people still in line. And nobody I've talked to who's met him has ever had a bad experience with him. So just keep reminding yourself of that. <3

So basically yeah, that's what I've got, and he's now my favorite celeb I've ever met, and it was an incredibly positive experience both in the photo op and at the autograph table. You've got nothing to worry about. Just practice, be ready for the speed, and take a deep breath.

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi tawny!!! loved the magnus chase chapter 🫶🏻 alex and magnus r so cute. I love magnus’s backstory/how you adapted it!!

ok so today is my bday and I was hoping you might be able to share a snippet from the upcoming tgol chapter🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 no pressure tho!!!!

HI OMGSDFKJDSF FIRST OF ALL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I HOPE THAT ITS STILL YOUR BIRTHDAY IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO GET TO THISJSDF!!!

i HAVE written a bit of the next chapter but unfortunately, it is solely tweets, and the tweets are all without users at the moment bc i always add the users at the end. SO. im gonna post a good majority of those tweets here as your excerpt and update it when i eventually add the users and let you know!!! and as a special treat if you'd like to choose one of these to be under your user, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL ADD IT :)))

hope you have had an absolutely wonderful day!!!

guys i dont think u realize how crazy this is for apollo to be working with another artist. like we all accepted nico was an exception bc like he’s will’s bsf and stuff but apollo apparently REACHED OUT to sadie. and they’ve been working together on an album. under apollo’s own label.

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genuinely hope that sadie becomes crazy popular like nico and that delphi records gets bigger than ****’s

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honestly i def think it’d happen. karma at its finest

so as an angel what’s the sadie lore anything we should know?? bc she’s abt to become my third fav artist

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who are the first two?? sadie’s AMAZING

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nico and alex fierro duh

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so your music taste is nico di angelo and his openers

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yes exactly

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Sadie currently has an EP out (Worst of You) that you should definitely check out, it was produced by her and her brother as an indie artist! As for background, she’s from London and her parents are pretty big in the archaeology world. She started putting out covers on YT when she was 13, and eventually started [1/2]

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writing her own songs. She uploaded a lot of unreleased songs to YT (they’ve since been deleted but they’re also on SoundCloud), and put out her debut EP at 18 and recently got signed to Apollo’s Delphi Records (technically second official artist signed, if we’re including Nico) [2/2]

still processing graveyard bc what does he MEAN by directly referencing how apollo “took his money and dignity and got the hell out” and thinks “i understand it now” and “i think you got it right.” nico please don’t disappear on us.

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i blame munich

i ship

[ two images attached: The first is a selfie of Nico di Angelo, Apollo, and Sadie Kane taken by Sadie. The second is the same photo, zoomed in on Sadie and Nico. ]

THE MYSTERY OF NICO’S SKULL RING: A THREAD

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Sep 27, 2015: the skull ring is first seen, albeit blurry, in jason grace’s vlog around his school, in which nico is sitting in their school cafeteria. it’s on his right ring finger, as it always has been (that we know of, logically he may have worn it on his middle or index finger when younger) 

[ two images attached ]

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May 21, 2016: it’s once again seen in nico’s first appearance on apollo’s insta, before we even knew his name. during this time, nico had been working on ‘haunted’ with apollo, and was already known as his insta user “the ghost king,” which ties into the skull/ghost/death theme

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[ one image attached ] 

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June 18, 2016: the skull ring is on the back cover of ‘haunted’s vinyl and its tracklist. it’s pretty much the centerpiece of the image, with his hand mostly covering his face.

[ two images attached ]

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There are several more appearances of the skull ring, he practically never takes it off. It’s seen in his pictures at the AMA’s, VMA’s, Grammys, and pretty much every other public appearance of his from 2016 - 2018. 

[ four images attached ]

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During the haunted acoustic shows (July 2017), he’s seen wearing the rings in all of the shows. 

[ four images attached ]

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Even the design of the doomsday world tour poster is based on the skull design in his ring, as well as several other merch pieces.

[ four images attached ]

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August 26, 2018: nico is wearing the ring in the official pictures from the first night of the doomsday world tour (and from various fans’ pictures)

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But on the second night of the doomsday world tour, nico is seen without a skull ring. 

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Since then, he hasn’t been seen wearing the ring ONCE. Several other rings take the place on the right ring finger, but the skull ring’s pretty identifiable - and the ones he’s worn since are noticeably different. so, that leaves the question: what happened to it? why did nico stop wearing it? 

[ four images attached ]

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more pictures of the other rings he’s worn since

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ummm maybe. hear me out. just a possibility. his ring size grew? being a living growing teenager at the time

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okay but it is interesting how it happened right after the first night of tour. and its not like a normal piece of jewelry, right? the skull ring is one of the first things we even knew about him, its basically like a logo. dating all the way back to apollo’s first post signifying haunted? it must have meant something to him if he wore it for at least three years (1/2)

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even at award shows and red carpets and all that fancy stuff. putting the exact same skull design on tour merch, etc… it’s just strange that it disappeared all of a sudden, despite nico still going on with the death/skull aesthetic in graveyard. if he just lost it or it broke/stopped fitting, wouldn’t he try and get another?

this fandom belongs in an insane asylum 

[yourimaginationrealm]

Part 2

To Part 1:

Finally, I finished part two! I hope you like it liked the first one! I just did not anymore head canons: I wrote scenarios. Or written out head canons.! Still, hope you like it.

___________________________________________

Tagged:

@onebatch--twobatch

@ani-girl (Because you wanted more xD)

___________________________________________

Shinya is defintily the cool uncle who always teases you and Guren. He is absolutely supportive of you two what means having literally million of photos from you like a family. So, whenever Guren acts all cool, he likes to break the ice and embarrass Guren with some real Dad pictures.

"Ahhhh! Look here. You are looking like a real father of Yuu!" " There! You could mean that you two are married and Yu is your real son!" "Remember when you smiled warmly at them..."

Yes, Shinya is a real pain in the ass for Guren. More likely, he loves to make him jealous. Sometimes, you have missions with other soldiers and Shinya takes pictures of you with other persons in very misleading positions.... "Wow, the new partner of Y/N looks really amazing, don't you think...?" " Aren't they a perfect team? They understand each other without words."

Guren never shows jealously, but somehow he is very curious with who you work. And likes to talk them down....

Before Yuu enters your life, you knew Guren as a high ranking soldier who is arrogant. You thought, he is an ass. Both of you, worked already together when you meet Yuu the first time in the cold. You respected Guren as a strong soldier and listen to his commands. Without Yuu, you would never become so close to this man. Like a magnet or a red thread, you always drawn back to him or he is to you. Moreover, Yuu symbolize the red thread. Of course, this means you two start to worry for each other. Of course, you kinda get that Guren has a soft spot.

You were ready to sacrifice yourself for the sake of humanity. At least, you were ready. The mission could fail without finding someone, playing the decoy yet nobody signed up freely. You sighed and walked to the center of the group. You explained your plan and how you distract the nobles for their safety. You gulped down your own knot in your throat. And definitely, not thinking about Yuu.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" The voice sounded raspy and pitched high at some vocals. You head flew towards the said man. "That is never gonna happened and the stupidest plan I ever heard. We get here out together!" Guren yells at you like he wants to make his point clear. "Then, tell us, how are we making it out alive without sacrificing one...?" You were angry that he screamed unnecessarily at you and start provoking him more. In the end, Shinya helped Guren with a plan to get you out alive so you both survived.

It was reckless for Yuu to intervene with a noble vampire yet he saved you and Guren. Somehow, you killed the Noble as a team. In the end, Guren pats Yuus head with side comment. „Reckless but you did well!“

"I am proud of you, Yuu! Amazing Job!" The boy could not feel more proud, energetic and loved.

The fight between Guren and Mika is stopped by you. You recognise the old friend Yuu has always talked about.

“What the hell? Get out of my way, Y/N!”

“No, Guren! Don’t you see it ? It’s Mika !”

“Yes, all I see, is a Vampire!”

Mika was ready to lunge at you when he overheard a particular name….

“Yes, a Vampire yet Yuus old friend Mika!”

Mika: “Yuu?”

Guren: “Come on, he is changed and a blood sucker!”

“Still his friend and family!”

You are the only person who can stop Guren. He sinks his sword and scoffs at your attempt.

"Thank you, Guren!" You said with a slight smile.

Yuu knows that he can trust you and such actions brought more and more bond towards you. After all, you and Guren belong to his family.

Yuu loves you with all his heart. Wherever he sees you, he has to smile and talk to you. He appreciates how nice, strong, independent, pretty, warm, motherly you are and definitely can kick Gurens ass. He knows that he can be a bit arrogant too or too motivated to fight vampires but you regularly get to him when you say: "You have that from him! Don't imitate Guren so much!" Yuu deny this fact with all he can. "I am not like him!" "You are..:" "Never...!" "You totally do..:!" "Do not!" You bicker a bit until you pat his head lovingly which makes him stop and enjoys your touching. You smile warmly at him and just say he should behave now. Of course, he listens to you. In emotional moments, you hug him without a warning. He needs it and just let his body rest on yours. There are more moments than he can count, he would love just to say 'I love you, mom' and often almost had this word on his tongue.

Later, when Yuu joins the Japanese Imperial army, you start to be the stressed out person. You worry too much even though you look like to him the chillest person. After he got injured real bad, you killed the vampire who hurt him and stood at his side on the bed for hours until he wakes up with teary eyes and still your weapon in your hands. Still dizzy, he slipped the ma word without realizing it as he sees you. "Mom...?" You caress his cheek and mumble a soft: "Yes, mom is here, dear." A few tears slipped from your eyes.

The time were you couldn't save Guren and he was dragged away by a Noble. You don't know why you felt like shit. But he sends you a gaze that you should leave. You both know that Yuu would freak out and wants to save you both if you fail. So you should retreat and calm Yuu down.

Before you left him, you delivered Guren your threat that you kill him again if he dies before you save him. He just lies on the floor with a painful smirk. "I guess that is my only fear..."

Of course, Yuu was furious yet you talked some sense to him. Walking with Yuu alone home, if gives you a feeling how single mothers have to feel. However, this showed you how important this idiot became to you.

Yes, Yuu is a big fan of your fighting style. He loves to brag about you in front of his friends. Sometimes, he tries to imitate you but Shinoa lost it as shakes hair for the hairflip.

„You are such a mamasboy!“

„Did you see her ? How she got very vampire?! Cool, right?“

Of course his male friends were impressed, too. They are your own little Fanclub. Congratulations.

Sometimes, you overhear Guren talking about you in front of Yuu… More like :

“Well, she is a good archer but she lacks sharpness in a fight. She is too emotional and diverted…”

“What did you just say about me?”

Every time, both gained a heart attack!

“Who saved your ass last time from the vampire chick before she could sank her teeth in your-!?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! No need to speak out details! That was close I know!”

Yuu loves when you two bicker and laughs heartily. He knows you two show affection by teasing each other.

“Don’t laugh! It happened only this time!”

“Only this time?! I believe Shinya has a whole album of How Y/N saves Guren from silly situations. "

"From what does he not have an album..." The colonel groans.

[withacapitalp]

WIP Wednesday

oooooo yay I got tagged from @hairstevington and @hbyrde36

I get to play this week it’s WIP Wednesday!! and I'm feeling good so we're reopening anons!

Time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

-

My file names:

Valencrimes for Someone pt 4

HTRAJ Elvis Background

Mean Girls Trio

Argyle

Snippet from Valencrimes under the read more!

“Hey! Guess who’s here with me buying weed! Jonathan fucking Byers!” He declared, waiting a second and listening to the birds sing in reply before sighing and dropping his arms to his sides, giving Jonathan a half-hearted glare, “Who the hell do you think is going to hear me? Better yet, who the hell is gonna care?”

“Will would. Jane? My mom?” Jonathan said, listing them all out as he hugged his arms across his middle, his voice lowering to barely a whisper as he curled up on himself, “I mean what do you think would happen if they find out about this?” 

“What do you think would happen?” Eddie asked, confused by the sudden turn from anger to fear. Pretty much every single person in Hawkins knew how overprotective Joyce Byers was, but that was against people outside of the family, not inside. 

Or maybe things weren’t exactly all they seemed to be behind closed doors. 

“...I don’t know,” Jonathan admitted after a beat, three words that felt a lot bigger than just a single little sentence. 

[a-memory-of-younger-days]

I feel very silly asking, I just found your comic and it has been very engaging and good, but I feel kind of lost. Have you made stories with them before? Is there prerequisite things I need to have read? I wanna be able to fully appreciate your stuff.

No need to feel silly! There isn't anything that has to be read before this comic.

@unironicallycringe helped me with a tldr of what I've put under the cut but

Ok so maybe something like

this story's timeline is meant to be shown as disjointed at first because there are chracters that don't know about the events of OoT, and Timie (former Hero of Time named Link) doesn't want to tell them everything that happened because they want to move on from it, but they way they're trying to go about it (completly forgetting eveything and staying away from anyone that was involved) is very damaging to them, because they knew Arn during the events of oot

I got some ocs in this story because it's silly.

Everything under the cut is gonna be a slight word dump of trying to express myself

aLRIGHT I'm gonna put my whole ass out here for anyone else that reads this ask, if you're ever wondering the weird...perspective change between the prolouge and chapter 1 the prolouge is to explain that Link is a little monster creature now, and chapter 1 is okay, now yall are coming onto the bullshit ride but we're going through a guy that has no idea what's going on.

Because God dammit I am not just gonna do a retelling of OoT I've changed some stuff not the biggest stuff but little things.

I don't want to throw all my cards out on the table for the story because by all means it's Timie (who is Link) slowly being forced to confront the memories of OoT and are forced to make peace with them and that things are just different now and that's OKAY.

so everything is a bit fragmentary because Timie isnt the main pov and two refuses to tell anyone what happened anymore because theyve TRIED to do that to varying results like.....say ruining a little potion girl's life because you were doing your job and now she feels like an idiot and hates your guts.

And Timie is one person in a big web of things happening, and it's why I had chapter 1 start with Arn because I wanted eveyone to get to understand that he's a person who is alive in the world and has his own routine and wants and who is about to get tangled up in the destiny thread all because mf had to interact with the former hero of time. And that he doesn't know everything that has happened, just like the reader.

I hope this is a good explanation, basically if it's confusing it's cuz I'm only three chapters deep and the story is fragmentary on purpose.

if anything that big timie getting hugged and it feeling like it's a climax to stuff and an emotional high point for the reader its not....its just for timie, it's for them to start coming out of their shell and for everything to really start kicking off their chracter arc or some shit, they just needed to stop being a little sour baby.

[credince--writes]

Humble Beginnings

AN ACT OF ARSON

JITTERS AU

AO3

A/N: IT IS HERE! I SPLIT IT INTO TWO. WELCOME TO THE CONTINUATION OF JITTERS!

WARNINGS: SA Themes are discussed. Not fuckin around on that note.

At first, it started with the shitty online tutorial classes. Following Reddit threads and watching hours of YouTube videos as if she were learning an entirely new language. She was scraping up as much information as she easily could to harass her high school's IT guy. 

Maybe he allowed it because she was interested.

Maybe he was a pervert.

Either way. She had started to get what she wanted- feeding the beast, soon enough it changed from reading Reddit threads not understanding what was happening to selectively strangling the internet connecting in a class she didn’t want to work in, maybe even remotely triggering the fire alarms in a separate building if there was a test. 

Then, it morphed into more.

When she was sixteen, she had begged her friend who had her driver's license- and such a rickety and old piece of shit car that it was a wonder they got to their destination in the first place- to take her to a college party. For them both to slink around the background of the party to rub elbows with a computer science major she barely knew- one she was fascinated with. 

He spoke with sweet, honey-like words that made her feel like she was special. Like she wasn’t a stupid teenager that he could easily manipulate because the simple concept of his attention made her giggle as no one had ever gotten her to do before.

The way he softly touches her shoulder lures her into a sense of safety. 

The way he would pick her up after school and take her to get food before dropping her off at home- not that her parents were home to notice that she wasn’t walking home anymore. That it wasn’t her friend taking her home and dropping her off.

The time that he was unconscious, in the back seat of one of his friend's cars while she sat next to him. Leaning down and reached into his book bag because he’d come straight from the university- there was no time to stop and drop his things off. Just toss the bag in the back of the dar, drive to the party and then move about his night with it in tow. Sticking her hand into his back and pulling the USB drive that held all of his TA documents, logins, files, and grading information. Quietly tucking it into her pocket and playing dumb and innocent when he couldn’t find it the next day.

And he would fade from her life, when she was no longer fun to play with. When she didn’t put out enough she supposed. When she wasn’t going to reach that goal of another pin in the wall for him to brag to his friends about. As if all of those sickly sweet words never meant anything- which she realized now never did mean anything.

It made her feel a lot less guilty about all of the drives, files, passwords, and more she’d stolen from him.

It marked the change.

Her realization.

The malicious intent blooming in her.

She knew his fucking birthday - what his first dog's name was. 

It was the first time she’d felt so alone- her friends could only do or say so much. Not that there were many for her to console her pain in. Horrified of admitting her faults outward to her parents in fear that yea, maybe she would be reprimanded and punished on top of her emotional suffering.

It was the first time she had wanted to give that pain right back to the person that brought it onto her.

And what a dark, dirty feeling that was. It scared her- it really did. To look into the mirror and to be able to say ‘I want to ruin his fucking life for breaking my heart’. 

But she didn’t.

It was her pain.

Not anyone else.

Maybe that was her way of wallowing in her own sorrow. For her to say ‘This is it, I’ll never do this again because I’m gonna make sure it really hurts this time.’ Like she was little, sticking her hand on the metal coil burner on top of the stove wondering why it had turned red.

Or that she was terrified- terrified of hurting the same man that hurt her. That maybe those sickly sweet words still had some purchase. That she was still worth something in his eyes and that all of it wasn’t a lie- even though she knew it really was.

But life lives on.

She graduated high school and started her work on classes at college at seventeen.

Then her parents got divorced. They just wanted to wait until she was old enough to move out- she was the only reason they were together in the first place .

And she had to move into the dorms.

And they stopped talking to her.

Her grandma died-

Then her grandpa.

Said he couldn’t live with a broken heart.

Couldn’t blame him.

The familiar light blue of her bedroom walls turned into white-painted cinderblocks in the dorms. Where they hid a air fryer under their bunk rather than a bottle of wine so that they could fry up snacks late at night while she crunched on a topic, going above and beyond as she always did because lackluster wasn’t a fucking option in her mind. She was proving herself, proving that she could set the curve without any remorse to those behind her. That she was able to build friendships- build bonds with the people around her.

Searching IRS documents and finding the home address of Zoe’s- her roommates- professor. Some staunch asshole who taught physics. The two of them made a trek out early in the morning- timing it out with maps from the rough time it took for him to arrive in the university parking lot every morning, calculating the rough time of his sitting in a coffee shop line, to leaving his house safe some traffic. That his TA would unlock the door, drop some shit off, and pick up papers before leaving for the printer room. Just so that she could plan the perfect time to go in for office hours- catch that TA and bat her eyelashes in a way that made Jayme want to vomit.

The way Zoe’s eyes followed the TA, trailing down as if she were going to drool onto her dark purple top and stain the basic cotton fabric.

“Hey.” Jayme hissed.

“Sorry, I can’t help it.” Zoe would whine.

The two of them, sat on the floor of their shared dorm room. 

“We need to make a blood pact if I’m going to do this.” Jayme said, casually.

“We aren’t making a blood pact.” Zoe sighed.

“Then I’m not helping you.”

“I’m going to fail the test.” She whined.

“Maybe you should have, I don’t know, studied?” She questions.

“Oh shut up, you hermit.”

“Just saying. Why would you take a physics class?”

“It’s in my major!” She protested.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be majoring in underwater basket weaving.” Jayme snarked.

“Not everyone gets to sit with the stinky computer nerds all day long.”

“Submissive and pliant men, ripe for the picking with mommy issues.” 

“Maybe you can lure one in with a sun dress and a pot roast.” Zoe joked back.

They laughed.

Then it fell quiet.

She hated the quiet- Zoe was just fine with it.

It meant an empty house.

It meant being alone.

It meant she could go down a rabbit hole of thoughts.

“Please? ” Zoe whined, again.

Jayme glanced up at her, from her laptop screen. As if her glance was going to break her determination- she was sure she’d grovel at her feet even in the showers if she had to if it meant she could get her help.

“How do you know I can even help?” Jayme questioned.

“You found his tax return- I’m sure you could find something to help me with a test .”

She wasn’t wrong.

Jayme sighed.

“Yea. I can help. Just go to class and be normal- I’ll figure it out.”

She honestly felt like a burglar. She’d done this before, didn’t know why it would be so nerve-wracking to do now. The cameras on these hallways didn’t work- she had checked. Always double checking, sometimes triple checking if it was going to be something really sketchy. This wasn’t something horrible- she wasn’t burning down a server room or anything. She was simply triggering a fire alarm- cutesy little gadget tucked into her pocket she’d already mimicked the frequency the trigger would emit when the original handle was pulled. 

It was a good purchase, she’d scrounged around for the cash to buy it- doing others' homework and projects for them until she was able to obtain enough funding to buy the gadget all the way back in high school. Which was the first place she had managed to do it. Even though it wasn’t entirely on purpose, sitting in the back of the class fidgeting with the little gadget- accidentally locking it onto a frequency and suddenly all of the fire alarms start going off.

She was wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over her face, a black fabric gater pulled up from her neck covering her nose and lips. Striding out, keeping her steps even as she walked down the hallways meeting the most important factor of the whole thing- look like she was supposed to be there. It was a little scary how complacent people could be, even if the person was a little suspicious- how could they be suspicious if their steps were entitled? If they weren’t nervously walking around, as if they were about to commit a crime?

Was it a crime?

She’s pretty sure it’s a crime.

She glances down at her watch.

Thirty seconds-

Twenty.

Then seven.

Three,

Two,

One.

Her hand slides into her pocket, feeling the slightly warm plastic- smooth with some small notching on its corner. Pushing down on one of the buttons as she keeps walking, keeping her steps even and her eyes on the prize- the doorway she would be walking out of in no time.

The lights on the fire alarms flash first, following the piercing, chirping noise that lets anyone within earshot know that the building is being evacuated for a fire. Drill or not- the teachers never mentioned anything about a drill. Maybe a stoner set the trash can in the bathroom on fire again.

She keeps walking forward, and the doors in front of her push open, lines of students filing out into one giant sea of people heading towards the same door as her. They mesh around her, and she blends into the crowd as she keeps walking.

Went smoothly, and if she keeps up her pace, she won’t be late for class across campus.

“ It is a crime called "identity theft" when a fraudster acquires vital pieces of "personal identifying information" (PII), such Social Security numbers and license numbers, and utilizes them for their own financial advantage. ” He speaks.

He’s older- at least to the point where his hair has begun to grey.

“Our data can be formatted and transformed using cryptography to make it more secure when traveling between computers. Modern mathematics is added to the technology, which is founded on the fundamentals of secret codes and safeguards our data in powerful ways. The manager in charge of security needs a methodical approach to identifying security requirements and characterizing options to satisfy those criteria in order to analyze the security demands of a company effectively.”  

Professor Wills.

Cold hard bastard- with a seeming soft spot for gingers. That’s at least what she noticed when she stalked his social media accounts. Well, maybe not his social media accounts. Found photos of women he was seen with taking them out to dinner- no doubt paid by him with his tenured salary.

He had started out the first day of class introducing himself, as well as his ‘resume’. He’d apparently worked for the CIA- counterterrorism projects since the seventies. When he retired- he decided to un-retire himself and crawl his ass back to work. So now he sat here, droning on about the lecture she wasn’t sure why he was giving it- this was all surface-level information.

Maybe this was another one of his tests.

“The Playfair Cipher, which treats diagrams in plaintext as single units and converts these units into cipher text diagrams, is the most well-known multiple letter encryption cipher. The Playfair algorithm relies on a 5x5 letter matrix that is built using a keyword. Let "monarchy" become the crucial keyword. The matrix is created by first filling in the letters of the keyword (after removing any duplicates) from left to right and from top to bottom, and then completing the matrix with the remaining letters throughout alphabetically.”

He projected himself across the room, strides forward, sideways. Maybe if he was feeling especially spicy he would throw something across the room at someone seemingly drifting off.

“One Time Pad Cipher.” He drawls out, meaning he will be starting an important topic- or spiraling into a tangent about Panama. “A secure cryptography system. The message is represented by a series of 0s and 1s. This can be achieved, for instance, by writing all integers in binary or by utilizing ASCII. The key is a coincidentally long random sequence of 0s and 1s. A key is never utilized again after it has been used once. And….” He pauses, reaching over for a whiteboard marker, and stalking up to the board. “Is represented as such.”

‘C/i = P/i K/i C/i - i^th binary digit cipher text P/i -^th the binary digit plaintext K/i - i^th binary digit key ’ Is scribbled onto the board- in his nearly illegible handwriting. 

“An extremely lengthy key is needed, which is expensive to make and send. Reusing a key for a second communication after it has already been used is risky since any knowledge about the first message would also reveal information about the second…..” He starts again, her eyes slowly closing as she starts to drift off in the lecture. “Developed by IBM, the digital immune system is a thorough method of viral defense. The growing threat of Internet-based viral spread has been the driving force behind this advancement. Recent years have seen an increase in the effects of two significant Internet technology advances on the viral spread: Integrated mail systems: Programs like Microsoft Outlook and Lotus Notes make it very easy to send anything to anyone and deal with received objects. Systems for mobile programs: Programs can transfer themselves automatically from one system to other thanks to features like Java and ActiveX.”

She swore to herself she’d never fall asleep in class.

She almost broke.

She didn’t quite a few other people did though.

“Remember class. Detection, Identification, Removal .”

…

The SQL Slammer worm first appeared in early 2003. A buffer overflow flaw in the Microsoft SQL server was used by this worm.

She sat- more correctly lay in her bed. Her eyes were tired. Past that point where she had been staring at a screen to long. Feeling cry- maybe borderline itchy. Zoe had offered her eye drops the first time she had complained of it. 

She’d never take them.

God, she hated eye drops.

Just the concept of it freaked her out.

Well, it made sense. She couldn’t even open her eyes in the pool.

The sound of the door knob jostling, the jingle of keys, and then the door being thrown open broke her from her trance. She should really be studying. She should really be doing something other than feeling sorry for her dry eyes and actually being productive.

“Jayme!” Zoe charges forward, arms reaching up as she scuttles over the small ladder leading up to her bed, climbing on top of her.

“Fuckin- What?” She half hisses out, moving Zoe over to her side and rolling over to look at her.

“He asked.” Her mouth was split open into a huge grin.

“What?” She asked.

“He asked me out! To coffee!” She squeals, throwing her head back.

“Ohhhhhh.” Jayme grins, raising her hand up and pinching Zoe’s cheek. “See? I told you it would work.”

Zoe lifts herself, pushing off of the bed and jumping down onto the ground, starting to rummage through her things. “No, no you didn’t. You spent the entire time telling me how bad of an idea this was. Because A, you’re bitter and lonely, and B-” “Wanting to fuck your TA is on par with sucking your professor's dick?” Jayme asks aloud.

“No, oh my gosh.” She groans, throwing her head back. “I’m filling in for a coworker at the store until closing, so you’ll be all alone.” She grins again.

Zoe worked at a run-down, stinky, Office Depot. Her uncle was the manager- and sometimes, he’d offer up free school supplies to them. Cutesy little pens, sometimes Journals and notepads. They usually had some kind of flaw about them that made it so they couldn’t be sold on the floor, but regardless. She’d gotten a few nice binders out of it and she wasn’t one to complain. Even if the man's constant wheezing raised her blood pressure and made her swear to herself to never pick up the habit of smoking.

“I’ll enjoy every moment,” Jayme replies, rolling back over, grabbing her pillow, and covering her head with it in hopes it’ll drown out the buzz of people walking down the hallway outside.

It never does.

The buffer overflow vulnerability that the worm took use of was first identified by David Litchfield, whose proof-of-concept code was used to present the worm at the Black Hat Briefings. The only thing this short bit of code does is generate random IP addresses and transmit itself to those addresses. A computer that is running an unpatched instance of Microsoft SQL Server Resolution Service listening on UDP port 1434 and receives a specified address becomes infected and starts spreading the worm program throughout the Internet.

She should really be studying, not working on other people's projects.

But, she was hungry. What could she say?

In all honesty, it wasn’t that hard. As dirty as it was, she was feeding it all through an AI system to generate the text, she would read through it and dumb it down because there was no was this asshole knew how to use the word ‘eloquently’. Then feed it back through, generate some filler to get some dings on his grade, all to make it more believable and then give it back to him. Grab the cash, and go buy something for her and Zoe to eat for dinner. 

She owes it to her, really.

Without Zoe she wouldn’t really make it. Yea, she was being supported by her parents and whatever pocket change she made off of working at that stinky ass office supply store went to her crippling shopping habits-

But Zoe took care of her. And Jayme would try to help in any way she could back.

Even if it meant stalking a professor to get the perfect window to insert Zoe into a TA’s life so that he would fall in love with her.

As if love were a real thing, she’d muse with herself. Her parents were in love- or at least they said they were. It left a horribly bitter taste in her mouth to be thinking about it. To be thinking about how it was a long haul to wait until she was old enough to move out- out of high school so that they could move on with their lives as if she were a burden.

Not that they ever called her a burden, it was just how she took it.

She was probably right to take it that way.

It would happen the way it normally does.

Zoe gripped the doorknob and jiggled it a bunch of times as if Jayme ever forgot to lock the door. Not ever- never once in their continued stay in these dorms had she ever found Jayme in the room- unlocked. It was like a paradox.

Pushing the door open after she clatters around with her keys for a good while, throwing the door open giggling and squealing about how amazing the coffee date was, and how he was ‘soooo hot’, he had even opened the door to the coffee shop for her, and pulled out the chair.

Jayme would nod, trying not to rain on her parade with her bitter outlook on the concept, and allow her to ramble, at no one in particular if not her about how great it was. Oh, and how she has to try out this new mocha-chai-something-bullshit concoction that he had recommended she taste. Leaning forward and letting her take a sip out of his cup as if it was the same thing as them aggressively frenching out in the bathroom.

She’s back in the classroom, staring at the whiteboard spacing out as Professor Wills rambles about the importance of the autonomy of American citizens- as well as their online privacy.

“I've made light of the fact that I don't really care if the NSA can read my emails during class. They will not be bothered about whatever I have. There are, however, bigger issues involved. ” He starts, standing up and starting to pace, back and forth and back and forth in a way that makes her motion sick.

“ Our best look at how a government can employ computer surveillance to monitor and control its populace comes from the Chinese government, most likely. ” He snickers at the end of it, as if it were some kind of joke the class would get. No one else laughed, because they didn’t get it. Only he would understand it- probably doing his fair share of rooting through, crossing that fine line in the name of evidence. “ The goal is to compile all online data about Chinese businesses and individuals in one location, score each of them based on their political, commercial, social, and legal "credit," and then compile the results.”

“I bet a lot of you in this room would fail on the social aspect, with those Instagrams of yours.” He teases. 

There's a light- may be forced in the name of politeness laugh that fills the room. 

“ The three V’s !” He yells, throwing another object somewhere in the room.

“Volume – The amount of data. The size- quantity. How many gallons of dirt do they have on you? 

Velocity- The speed at which data is produced is known as velocity. Different processing approaches may be employed depending on the velocity.

Variety- Data might be structured or unstructured. The processing of structured data is ideally suited for computers. Not so with unstructured data. A passenger manifest is an illustration of structured data. Unstructured video from a CCTV camera shows passengers leaving and entering a passenger terminal.

And last of all?

Veracity – Your accuracy.”

There was a stiff silence.

“Um, Professor.” One of the guys in the front pipes up. “That was four.”

“At least someone was paying attention! Class is dismissed!”

The recognition of the worm spreading was recognized too little, too late.

Jayme sits on the cold linoleum-tiled floor, scratching at some kind of chart when the telltale sign of footsteps up to her door breaks her from her train of thought. 

The sound of keys jingling first- not the jiggling of the knob. And the distinct sound of her choking on a sob at the door.

She stands, ready to hear about how horrible the date went- that he was talking to another girl. It had happened what- six times already in the few years she had known Zoe? It wasn’t anything new. They’d go somewhere- Trader Joe’s probably. Buy a bunch of snacks and shit talk and pig out until Zoe felt better.

Walking over to the door and opening it up, she’s met with the dark mascara splattered down her face from Zoe’s tears. She opens the door more, stepping out of the way as Zoe drops to her knees- at Jayme’s feet and lets out a sob. One she’d never heard before- ever. She sheer amount of fear- rage- hurt. She blinks, kneeling down with her to realize her horror.

She’s back in her childhood room, sobbing, staring up out of the window, and watching the stars. Her heart aches and the feeling of her puffy eyes and stuffed-up nose do nothing to fight against the horrible headache that blossomed in her head either from the stress, or the dehydration of crying like a baby for this long.

She's standing up, walking into the little bathroom connected to her room, and looking in the mirror, smearing the snot and tears off of her cheeks and seething.

She didn’t want to inflict the pain for her own sake. To make her feel better.

But she would, she will, she would inflict pain for her sake. 

The hospital is cold.

Quiet.

The buzz of people moving about doing their jobs. Sipping on stale coffee and listing to the chatter in the radio or clicking on a poorly hidden tab of solitaire.

It makes her itch. The kind of itch you feel when there's a spider crawling up your arm in the dark- you can’t see the spider but it’ll wake you from a dead sleep to freak out. She picks at the skin on her thumb, bites her lip, and taps her foot. Anything while she waits. 

One of the nurses brings her a soda from the vending machine.

It was a nice gesture, but she ends up with the tab cracked, listening to the sound of the carbonation fizzling off while she stared off into space feeling nothing but anger- and guilt.

How it was all her fault-

She had started the spiral,

The snowball.

Had she not of given in- had she not of let Zoe blindly chase tail as if she were a neurotic dog. She’d be ok- she wouldn’t have been kneeling at her feet sobbing .

The police arrived. One young male officer, and one female. 

The female stepped behind the curtain.

The male officer sat down next to her.

He tried- awkwardly. To try to coax information out of her, what happened? What really happened.

The condescending words as if she had been lying.

As if it was just a jest .

So she calmly, even if she had to stop a few times breaking down crying. Explaining the situation.

He took his notepad and fucked off a while later.

It was three weeks later.

The Disciplinary board ruled in favor of the TA- put him on suspension with no pay due to the circumstances.

She never saw Zoe again.

She Just kind of… Left. One night. She woke up the next morning. She had packed up some clothes, and left in the dead of night.

Leaving her alone.

In Silence.

Again.

Soon enough, one in four computers connected to the internet was affected.

[mmingooo]

but if it means that we get through || lee minho

warnings: none.

genre: fluff.

pairing: lee minho gn!reader

word count: 1,0k words.

notes: hello everyone! i hope you’ll enjoy this, i was inspired by the song anything by catfish and the bottlemen, so i highly suggest you read this while listening to that song, it’s really good, but anyways, enjoy <3

masterlist.

please make sure to reblog and if you want to, drop a comment!

It gets difficult to talk when you nearly deafen me 'cause you start laughing

hearing your laugh made minho’s heart skip a beat, he loved every time you tried to hold back your laugh when he told you an inappropriate joke when you’re in public, he loved hearing you laugh from the other room while you’re probably watching videos on your phone, he loved hearing your laugh when you were talking to one your or his friends.

he loved your genuine, but when you fake laughed at something someone you don’t like, he loved the condesending tone it had, like you were mocking the way that person was trying to be funny and clearly failing.

your laugh was loud, if you were on the other side of town and laughed, he was sure he would hear it loud and clear, so when your faces were just a few inches away and you laughed and almost deafened him, he covered his ears and with a fond smile he thought that if it means that we get through he’ll attatch his fingers to his ears if he has to, just to be near you whenever you loudly laughed.

and though you’ll mix up every detail, of every story that your ever gonna tell me

“and when i arrived there, there was this huge almost like pool of water because of how much water she spilled- oh wait, no i forgot to tell you that before i arrived, i bumped into this one guy i knew from college...”

what were you even talking about?, minho had no idea, he payed full attention to your crazy story of how the event you attended went, but honestly, from how much you mixed up the details, he had no idea what happened and when.

it was always like this, you begin telling him about your day and you always forget to tell him this little detail that you could forget to tell him and it would not matter because it didnt affect the common thread of the story, but to you it was essential that he knew everything, even when you almost stepped on gum or saw an airplane on the sky above you.

he never knew what was going on, he was always confused and he knew you always forgot why you were telling him this in the first place, you always began telling him something about work or your coworkers, and always ended up having a heart to heart conversation about your childhoods.

but as minho heard you tell your story and updating him on the latest gossip while mixing everything up, he thought if it means that we get through, he’s willing to use all his brain power to try to understand what you were telling him.

You know I never wanna trouble you when you're working so I always try to wait

deadlines, new projects, trying to figure out why excel wasn't doing what you were trying to make it do, answering calls... you were busy, very busy, and minho was eager to tell you all about what jisung had told him on the phone a few minutes ago, but as he saw you moving from typing on your computer, to going on your phone and back to your computer, he thought it wouldn’t hurt him to wait just another hour until you were free.

he knew you always wanted to give your devoted attention whenever he had something to say, always looking up from your phone when he began talking, your eyes never leaving his, always putting down the kitchen knife and leaving your task of making lunch when he came into the kitchen calling your name, and always getting up from your bed and going to whatever room he was at when he told you through text he wanted to tell you something.

so minho thought that if it means that we get through, he will sit in the same room as you while you work away and enjoy your presence, loving how much effort you put into your work and knowing that when you're ready, you will get up, go sit next to him and ask him to tell you everything.

And when we drink it just gets funnier and to be honest I don't mind us drunk

getting drunk together was one of minho’s favorite activities, he loved the way your reactions would change every time you drank, one time you could be bawling your eyes out and the next, you could be laughing 30 minutes straight about something you don’t even remember.

but when you two drank together, you always boosted each other and bounced off of each other, he didn’t mind being drunk alone or with his friends and he actually enjoyed it, but with you, it was different, because not only you would be laughing nonstop, you would have the most intimate moments you that you didn’t remember next morning, but would still carry the feelings of last night, and minho honestly thought that if it means that we get through, he didn’t mind not remembering why you were laughing and what was that one deep conversation you were having because it was better to just live in the moment and not care about memories when he was with you.

You know I always try to settle you when I'm away 'cause we struggle sometimes

and when he’s away, and you’re laying alone in your bed, and you begin having doubts and struggle to stay fine, and call him in the middle of the night and he’s not asleep yet because he’s worrying about the same things you are, he tries to settle you and convinces you he loves you more than anything in the world and tells you he would never leave your side even if he’s a thousand miles away.

he reminds you that you are his and he is yours, and tells you how much he loves every little detail and flaw, and that to him, you are perfect, and he doesn’t need anything or anyone else. you are the one that makes him happy, you are the one who makes him laugh and you are the one who always says the thing he needs to hear when he’s down and needs help getting back up.

and when you hang up, feeling relieved, minho thinks that if it means that we get through he doesn’t mind having to reassure you every time you need that you’re the one that he loves.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Mr. Rolin Jones, creator and showrunner of Interview with the Vampire appeared on the post-finale episode of the companion podcast to talk about this first season but also season 2, and the future of this series. It's super insightful, I highly recommend giving it a listen, we learn so much about the process behind creating this show and this season but also about what's coming next like he's thinking about this show in long-game terms like going on for 8yrs minimum, and by the sounds of it so is AMC. The first book is going to be explored in 15 episodes total, we've got the first 7 which means s2 would be 8 episodes. And start getting excited for s3 because the current plan is that the third season will give our brat prince the opportunity to tell his side of the story and explore the second book, The Vampire Lestat.

In this post, I have compiled some highlights of his interview but I reiterate that if you can do so to give the full thing a listen cause it's really interesting.

On getting picked to be the showrunner:

"I came back to the loving arms of AMC. I had done some work with them before and there were a lot of really savy executives, I had a big overall meeting- here are 19 things I wanna do for you guys, talk, talk talk, talk, talk, as I'm leaving the door one of them goes 'you know we forgot to mention our bosses bought the Anne Rice books' and I stopped, and I put everything down, sat back down and said 'we're gonna take another 45 minutes for this meeting' and by the time I walked out I kinda knew that's that I was gonna do. And then they put me through a gauntlet of things to prove that I was the guy and it wasn't just about what's a good pilot story, what's a good first season it was what does this thing look like 8 years from now?"

Up until today, I didn't know showrunners basically had to audition.

About the decision to change Louis race:

"I kinda came around to his ethnicity through a very weird way which is through Lestat. So, there's a very famous sort of rewrite of Lestat starting with book 2 he's an aggressively different character than he was in book 1 but that's the Lestat that she carried on for the rest of time. And I was like okay that should be Lestat and so we tried to take the given circumstances that are set with Lestat and put him back into this time period, and so he had this sort of super emo relationship with this guy named Nicki, and then he had a very...uh, excitable relationship with his mother as his second companion choice- get into that season 3 y'all. And then I was like let's give Lestat a legitimate third attempt at trying to figure out how to be with somebody for the rest of his life and how do you not repeat your mistakes. So, I started from there and I wanted somebody who had some money cause I think he wanted to be you know with his own folks there, and I think he wanted someone I thought who could fight back and who could be a challenge and who would force him to restrain himself. And nobody at AMC was really interested in seven seasons of the regretful plantation owner so you know- even with that though you want it to have some connective threads to the novel so we made Louis come from a lineage that once did own a plantation, did own slaves. The other thing was sort of aesthetic if you were gonna take away the ruffled shirts and all the swampy goodness and you wanted to make this something new, what's the next hot time that had a sense of smell and taste and sound? The birth of jazz seemed pretty right on, and it just so happened there was a spot at that historical time where a black man could get in on some business and still have the sort of morally grey thing that owning a plantation would and- I don't know it all actually clicked into place pretty quickly."

How do they decide when they deviate from the books?

"There were a couple caveats. Make it here and now, make it grand and big but we said you know look she wrote a very transgressive groundbreaking novel in 1973 and try to put her in the room where she was tasked in 2021 with making a tv show out of this and you want it - there's no reason to do something if you're going to just run rough shot over it. So you're constantly, constantly revisiting the book and that's not only in the room where you're building story but that's when you're in draft, that's when you're in after production draft, that's when you're last minute like little things and you find some things that you had passed over didn't think were relevant like 'I'm screaming back at you' and dropping in as much Anne as we could, and that we were gonna write this sort of heightened language that is in the novel we're gonna make our actors talk like that; she is our safety net all the time."

This is insane, when they were in pre-production they were writing scripts for the entire book but due to covid and the cost of lumber AMC called and asked if they had enough in the first half to stay in New Orleans for the entire season. At first, Rolin's put up a fight but what they did was they turned what was originally the first four episodes into this first season. And they did so 50 days before they shot the first day! His original pitch was 10 episodes, they were aiming for 8 but it's now a 15-episode book. He does think the change was to the benefit of the show. I agree, it's mind-blowing to think that the amazing 7 episodes we got were originally compacted into just 4 and that they managed to change course and deliver a product of such high quality within just 50 days.

"Memory is a very, very huge part of this show. The tagline for this show should be: memory is a monster. We're only on episode 7 of 15, you only know half of it. Maybe." 👀

Why is Louis truly doing this interview?

"It is absolutely the question. If you wanna know what we're still digging out of it, it is the why of it. There's a real reason why this is a second interview and the first interview is super important. Tune in season 2. And I will just say this, these two (Daniel and Louis) have been brought together because something very significant happened, life-altering happened to them in 1973. And they didn't get it right and they weren't the right people at the time to do it, and know they think they are, and yet like all of us you still don't know who you are and you still gotta go deeper but that just means there is a lot of meat not only on Louis side but on Molloy's side and most importantly Armand's side who has become for us the single most fascinating character of season 2. Yeah, there's a lot in Dubai that's yet to be revealed."

I need s2 to hurry tf up because what does that mean sir 👀👀👀👀

The real reason he wanted to do this show is s3, The Vampire Lestat. He really knows how he wants to do it, and he couldn't be more excited about it. As goofy as body switching is, and they'll come up with some elegant way, he thinks there's something in the Tale of the Body Thief, Queen of the Dammed he has to think about because it's so massive, and he doesn't know if that's gonna be covered over one season or two.

[edraculation]

keyz venting moments. tw for uhhhh parental issues and stuff and mention of murder and addiction (brief and nonspecific)

i have such a weird combination of missing my father and at the same time resenting him and never wanting to see him again . i loved him so much when i was little and even though i always knew he was a bad person i wanted it to work out so badly. i know he love(s/d) me too but apparently not enough to care about being able to stay in my life . my mom tried so hard to make it work too despite all the terrible things he did to us because she knew how important he was to me but it was all for nothing because he just had to ruin it like he ruined everything else . god and he picked the worst possible time too . just a couple weeks before an important birthday of mine that he promised (although he probably didn't mean it) to call me on, in the middle of the fucking pandemic no less . i was already having such a hard time with being locked in that disgusting apartment in the depths of autistic burnout + major depression at such a sensitive age, barely holding onto my sanity, and then on top of ALL OF THAT i became the child of a murderer . god . i knew the second i found out that i was never gonna see him again because after his already lengthy criminal record a murder charge was gonna land him in prison forever . in a way I'm happy about it because he did deserve it but also like . i really did love him even though he never gave me any reason to . and now there are so many things he'll never get to know about me and that I'll never get to share with him . he'll never get to know my new name and he'll never get to meet my friends and he'll never get to walk me down the aisle when i get married and he'll never ge to see my kids or my house or know what i do for a living or see any of my art or know what i like or hear how my comedy evolved or know that i still like the music he played for me when i was little or know that i slept with the handkerchief he gave me as a baby until it became a knot of threads . i wanted to know him so bad and i tried so hard to figure out how to do that and he didn't even care about me enough to stay out of prison and talking to me even if it wasn't in person . god i miss him so bad . I hadn't seen him in person or even been on call with him in so long when it happened . I don't even remember the last time i got to talk to him . and i remember so little of my childhood and only a tiny fraction of what i do remember has him in it and I'll never get to make new memories with him . i like to believe he cared but just couldn't control himself cause of his mental illness or his addictions or whatever but I don't even know if that's true . maybe he never cared . i hope he did at least a little bit . i cared so much . anyway

[empressofthesunwriter]

Maiden of the Moon

What if Kokushibo had a pupil, whom he taught the original Moon Breathing before he deserted the Demon Slayer Corps?

Mochizuki Yua was born only for these reasons: To become a Hashira and make her family a respected one in the Demon Slayer Corps.

But if you only live for the expectations of others, who are YOU truly?

What will it take to find yourself?

A long, hard journey awaits.

!!!!PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!

I want to thank you all that you didn’t give/gave a chance to my little FF!

Now I gave the Spider Family a big sister so Yua had someone to fight. I made her even with a base, so check my Deviantart!

Can some of you guys from whom I got the inspiration for Onee-Sama and the fight they both have?

Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 7: Onee-Sama

Her lungs felt like collapsing.

The Katana in her hand weighed so much.

She shivered all over her body.

But Yua couldn’t give up.

She swiped with her Aura-Sensing again the clearing she was in.

There!

On her left!

Total Concentration! Moon-Breathing! Second Form: Moongazing Pearl Blossom!

Yua performs three crescent-shaped slashes which deflect the incoming spider thread arrows of her opponent.

“Fu, fu, fu.”, laughed the spider demon, from his hidey-hole. “Little girl, aren’t you tired already? How long can you deflect my attacks?”

The midnight blue-haired beauty gulps but doesn’t back down.

“As long as I can!”, she spats back.

I have to give Tanjiro and Inosuke enough time to reach the demon who controls the other Demon Slayers!

***

A few minutes ago, Yua was racing with Tanjiro and Inosuke through the forest.

Well, she and Tanjiro had to drag Inosuke with them.

After the maks-wearing boy had pinpointed the location of the Spider Demon, who used the other Demon Slayer as puppets, they didn’t know how to reach it.

Thankful Murata and Katsumi had told them to go on and that the two would handle the controlled Demon Slayer. They now knew to cut the threads and be careful of the little spiders.

It happened that Inosuke insulate them telling them that they had pissed their pants before, to which Murata rebuked him was a stupid boar.

Inosuke was ready to kick his ass, thankful she and Tanjiro had gripped him and run forth with him.

Huffing annoyed the boar-headed boy told them: “Dammit! I’m gonna punch that guy if it’s the last thing I do!”

“Stop talking like that!”, told him Tanjiro.

“He called me “a stupid boar”, okay, Monjirou!”

“It’s “Tanjiro”!”

“How can you mess up names so much?!”, adds Yua huffing.

“What’ya mean Yue?”

“THAT right here!? Do I look like I have white hair and blue eyes?”

“Anyway!”, intervented Tanjiro. “We’re heading the right way, right?”

“My senses never lie!”

Like lighting stroke her, Yua Aura-Sensing acted up.

“GET DOWN!”, she screamed and tackled both boys to the ground.

“Yua-Senpai?!”

“What’s your problem, woman!”

However, both boys were speechless when they saw three big white arrows impaled in the ground where they had stood before their Senpai had tackled them.

“W-What?!”, mubled Tanjiro.

He hadn’t even smelled them, so fast were they.

Thankful Yua must have sensed them with her ability.

“Ara, Ara, what do we have here?”, said a feminine voice mockingly. “A handsome boy, a beautiful girl and a ripped half-boar man? You are quite interesting. I wonder if you taste as good as you look.”

The three Demon Slayers stood up and sheathed their Katanas.

“Inosuke is this the Demon?”, wondered Tanjiro aloud.

It was Yua who answered him. “No, this is a different one. The other demon was so far away that my Aura-Sensing didn’t reach it. Also, the arrows have a different Aura hefting on them than the threads that control the Demon Slayers.”

An eerie giggle was heard.

“Fu, fu, fu, beautiful and smart. You will taste good girl. I won’t let you near my mother.”

So the mother of the spider demons controlled the Demon Slayers. At least this was good to know.

Again Yua Aura-Sensing acted up.

“Guys get ready!”, she took a deep breath. “Total Concentration! Moon Breathing! Seventh Form: Mirror of Fortune, Moonshine!”

The barrage of arrows, which was flying towards the three friends, gets stopped by Yua's technique. She performs a frontal crescent-shaped slash that unleashes straight and curved slashes that expand outward, hitting all arrows.

“Tzz!”, grumbles the spider demon.

Tanjiro and Inosuke are in awe.

They never saw Moon-Breathing in action.

It was really as powerful and beautiful as their Senpai told them.

“Kamada, Hashibira!”, turns Yua to them. “You two go along. I will take care of this demon. You need to get to the Spider Mother, it doesn’t make sense if we all stay here.”

“But Yua-Senpai.”, mumbles Tanjiro worried.

Yes, their Senpai and her Breathing Style were on a whole different level than theirs, but could they really leave her behind?

Yua gives them a confident smirk, which makes Tanjiro feel all the flattery in his stomach, even Inosuke feels strangely shyly seeing it.

It was...hot.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m not a Hinoto for nothing. I can take care of myself. Now go!”

Tanjiro thanks her and he and Inosuke start running.

This makes the Spider Child (?) scream in outrage: “You aren’t going to touch my mother!”

She sends arrows after the boys, but Yua is already there.

“Total Concentration! Moon-Breathing! Eighth Form: Moon Dragon’s Tail!” 

Swift Yua performs a massive long-ranged curved slash that leaves dozens of crescent moon blades along its path. The moon blades hit all arrows and Tanjiro and Inosuke are safe to go on.

“You are going on my nerves, girl!”, hisses the Spider Demon.

“And I just got started.”, sasses Yua back.

 ***

This was like a half hour ago and Yua felt how she got weaker with any attack.

It was just her luck that she couldn’t pinpoint where her adversary was hiding because she didn’t give her enough time to do a good sweep of the clearing.

She needed to try while she got attacked to sense the Demon.

This was the only way!

As the spider demon sent new arrows at her Yua performed Moon-Breathing Fifth Form: Ghost of the Moon, Advantageous Swirl! It creates multiple long and curved slashes layered over one another, essentially creating a vortex of crescent moon blades.

Hopefully, this would give her enough time to sense where the demon was hiding.

The midnight blue-haired girl reached with her Aura-Sensing to the borders of her ability and finally, she found the demon.

It was hiding up a tree, not far from her.

Determined Yua ran up to it, deflecting the arrows that were sent towards her, and with a scream she cut the tree down.

This made the Spider Demon jump out of it.

It stood now before her, pissed off.

Like Yua had guessed, it was a young woman, with white skin and red circles markings on her face. Her Kimono was white with some red accents and a green Obi. She wore normal wood sandals and her curly white hair had a green orb-like hair comb to the side.

In her hands, the demon holds a bow and arrows.

“You are a pest!”, hissed the Spider Demon Girl. “I will feast on you!”

“Come at me then, bitch!”, Yua growled back.

With a scream, the Demon ready her bow to shoot her.

Yua quickly dodged the arrow and charged towards the Spider Demon Girl. She swung her sword with precision, but the demon was quick to dodge and counterattack.

The Mochizuki felt herself getting weaker with each hit, yet she refused to give up. She needed to end this quickly before she lost all her strength.

 The two continued to exchange blows, neither one gaining an advantage over the other.

“I have to hit her with my strongest technique or I will be spider lunch!”, thought Yua desperate.

Uncle Noritaka had taught her before he left the family their family ultimate technique. It was of his own creation and had secured him a place at becoming a Hashira, even if in the end he had refused.

However, Yua was scared to use it.

It took an enormous toll on the body.

Muscles and bones could break if you didn’t do it precisely.

She only ever used it on practice wood dolls, never on a Demon.

Could she even do it?

Does she even have a choice?

No.

So she gathered all her strength for one final and hopeful devastating attack.

Yua closed her eyes and focused on the technique. She could feel her body trembling with anticipation and fear.

With a deep breath, she opened her eyes and charged towards the Spider Demon Girl. As she swung her sword, she shouted, "Moon-Breathing, Forbidden Techinic! Executing Moonlight Paradise!"

A loud boom echoed through the clearing as Yua's sword struck the ground in a crescent shape, sending shockwaves through the ground and air.

The Spider Demon Girl was flung screaming to the air, where Yua followed her and started to cut her over and over in crescent forms all over her body. It was so fast that it seemed that the Spider Demon Girl was cute by moonlight, thanks that Yua's sword was white.

She fell to the ground, a mess of ripped-open meat.

You couldn’t even recognize the Spider Demon Girl anymore.

Yua was covered in a white shimmering aura, making her look like moonlight herself.

With a last deep breath, she jumped high up and attacked the neck of the demon.

She cut her head, or what had remained of it, off.

The Spider Demon Girl let out a blood-curdling scream as she disintegrated into ash.

The Demon Slayer stood there for a moment, panting heavily from exhaustion.

She had done it.

She had defeated a demon all on her own using the Moon-Breathing ultimate technique.

As she walked away from the clearing, Yua couldn't help but feel proud of herself for what she had accomplished. She knew that Uncle Noritaka would be proud of her too if he were here to see it.

It was then that all forces left her and she fell face down to the forest ground.

Welcoming darkness embraced her.

***

Yua didn’t know how long she was out, but she awoke abruptly as someone slapped her face.

“Hello dear cousin, long time no see.”, greeted Sayako, her younger cousin, Yua.

She was dressed in her Kakushi uniform.

So that means...

“Huh, we won. Didn’t we?”, she asked Sayako.

Sayako huffed and petted her hair.

“Of course, you care more if the mission was complete than greeting me after so long.”

“Hello Sayako, you are still a pain in my ass.”

“Much better.”, hummed Sayako. Careful she picked Yua up and placed her on her back, giving her a piggyback ride. “Well, you sure made interesting friends, I must say. You and they keep holding off the Demons till the honourable Hashira’s Kocho-Sama and Tomioka-Sama could come.”

“Are the guys okay?”, Yua asked worried.

“Well, as well you can be facing a Lower Moon.”

“A Lower Moon was here?!”

“He made all this Spider Demon. Wanted to make a family if I understood right, but your friends are wounded but okay. You will join them at the Butterfly Mansion for cures.”

A little yawn escaped Yua and she snuggled herself closer to Sayako.

“That sounds good. I used Uncle Noritaka's forbidden technique, I think some of my muscles took damage.”

Impressed Sayako let out a whistel.

“Wow, YuYu, you didn’t break a bone. You are really something!”

“Yeah and now I gonna faint again.”

She only heard Sayako's amused laughter before she fainted again.

Yua was sure she earned herself some rest.

***

Moon-Breathing! Second Form: Moongazing Pearl Blossom! Is Second Form: Pearl Flower Moongazing.

Moon-Breathing Fifth Form: Ghost of the Moon, Advantageous Swirl! Is Fifth Form: Moon Spirit Calamitous Eddy

Moon Breathing! Seventh Form: Mirror of Fortune, Moonshine! Is Seventh Form: Mirror of Misfortune, Moonlit

Moon-Breathing! Eighth Form: Moon Dragon’s Tail! Is Eighth Form: Moon-Dragon Ringtail

Moon-Breathing, Forbidden Techinic! Executing Moonlight Paradise! Is my own invention. ^^

I know it’s a short chapter but I didn’t want to drag it on.

In the next chapter, we will stay at the Butterfly Mansion, and rehabilitation training and bonds will get deeper.

Can’t wait for it.

Until next time!

!!!!PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!