#so i have to wait until i get HMC to have another character

[applealchemist]

imaginary only is hell because i started on a banner without imaginary characters and all i have is welt (its really just a welt only challenge until i finish belobog and get HMC) so half the time i'm begging mr yang to stop dying and just kill the bitch with the black hole already

[queensparklekitten]

tag yourself as names i’ve stolen on discord 

Bee

according to all known laws of aviation

i think it was this one that got me called an impostor on another server

*distorted zalgo text voice* 

April

the mods made me give this one back

also the person i stole it from left and then rejoined the server and i asked for their name and they said no

the rest of the server got a good laugh out of that

elleni

🐬

Charon

cool matrix looking lines of stock hacker text

👁

rolled a 4 for intimidation

at least i got a cool name out of it all 

no you do not get any context for any of that

Chaui

hey did you hear some fusion of 2 genshin characters became the lawyer of a random discord user

i got the best response ever from this one tbh

also. colour coordination. if i had changed my avatar to theirs i probably could have passed off for them. 

Miracle

gets snitched on a lot

now if only two people called Magical and Felice could join the server at different times

Aarna

first successful name theft on the sge site server

realization too late 

how is it possible to do verbal backspace in text

Emmy

if someone gives you their name in all caps do you now have it in all caps? i didn’t do all caps

���🦇

it was around this time that i started adding cute emojis around the names i take. like a decoration

Jim

i kept this one for like one day and then released it into the wild

ever been asked to kill someone because i have

nothing like bloodlust and sadism amirite ladies

rose

i currently am using this one on the precure server

i like it i think i’ll keep it for a while 

flower and honey emojis giving me the right vibes

Gummy

she legit retaliated. we traded except trade isn’t quite the right word because it implies that one of us consented

og gummy doesn’t exactly have bad taste in emojis surrounding a name but they’re nowhere near as good as mine especially when they’re alongside my main discord name

YOUR ME IS TORN FREE AND YOU’RE NOT WHO YOU WERE

BUT WHAT IS WHO WERE THEY YOU WERE YOU THEM TOOOOOOOOOO

imagine someone steals your name and then later tells you she’s getting bored with it but doesn’t give it back until you offer to re-exchange. wouldn’t that be wild

ghostie

can’t see a thing

spop gang

Sage

shares with everyone except the now-nameless person that said name was stolen from

tma references

where have you gone what are you doing

Snake

So you know when the apocalypse has happened and you run across another survivor who you knew in the before times who runs across a few more survivors and you make a shelter together and then apocalypse survivors who you didn’t know during the before times find out they’re welcome in your shelter

Ace

perfect timing

turns out i had interacted with them on tumblr before which was cool 

Zero

uses the word “hath” 

Same Shit As Always

makes compilations

Hana

got forgotten about

hit the tally

i am losing count of the names i have stolen by now

Lane

names are a social construct

waving robots

unaligned

Ito

cure cosmo fan

:baka: 

amigo

does not play genshin impact

i went on a power trip that day

Michael

oh my god it’s becoming tma

*disco dance* 

sam

first name stolen on the calico discord woohoo

is in your basement as we speak

one of the calico devs reacted with a gif from the office

spunky

spongebob reaction gifs and capslock

i only used this one for one day before someone else showed up and i stole their name 

Tadley 

yeet

fuck cold weather 

shara

don’t mind me just waiting around for an excuse to use this one again

knows facts about venus which is swag

initiate laser vision (eventually) 

zhongli

vibes of that one purple haired guy from precure 

what do you mean you’re talking about someone else 

*trades this one after like 2 days* 

Ada

hmc fan

you ever just sit on a stack of giant books with a spyglass 

fight the system 

Nola

blue and purple

purple unicorns

i added a strawberry emoji to this one

Void

i love this one

wither skeletons

:} (-: 

hezekiah

sunglasses

questionable pfp

opal

foggy 

*remembers the fanfics i wrote in my notebook on the bus to summer camp years ago* 

my favourite gemstone! :D 

alitair

*keysmash*

the princess bride 

Connor

hell yeah committing identity theft together *high five* 

adorable pfp 

that SHOULD make you the second connor i know who listens to tma but somebody hasn’t picked it back up 

windy

won’t stop being snitched on

one-handed action figure, bought in an attempt to get an action figure of someone else, left sitting in its box with a crumpled cutout paper phone 

Tart

NOT LIKE THAT but yes 

sonic the hedgehog has nothing on me

got called a menace. best compliment i’ve received in months 

angel

deja vu 

i am on a SPREE since that server became public again

good game

milo

like from atlant- *gets shot* 

*jumps extremely high*

first one taken on the latest discord server i joined! 

cute little sparkly plant emoji! <3 

[lukatheselkie]

HMC - Music is the language of feelings

@hetaliamondaychallenge

I don’t blame you if you don’t want to repost this one. I won’t be upset if you don’t. It’s decently dark. It’s mostly for myself anyway. I will be posting another for this, so I won’t go without a reblog either way.

This past week hasn’t been fun mentally. I’ve been depressed over... something that will soon become clear. This week’s topic lined up too perfectly not to use it as a vent for what I’ve been feeling. Sweden and I are so much alike, I love using him as my main vent character. Even when it’s something as serious as this.

Pairings: I guess there’s a lead up to SuFra in the future? This isn’t really focused on a relationship though.

Trigger Warning: Sexual assault. Yeah. I said it was dark. There’s not any detail behind it, but it’s definitely mentioned. There’s reassuring words not too long after though. This was written to help comfort myself, and anyone else that might need to hear those words.

   Berwald stares blankly at the water in the pool. He's sitting at the edge, his legs below his knees submerged in the lukewarm liquid. There's music blaring nearby, but nothing besides noise registers in his mind. Someone swims up to him, and he lifts his head up to look at whoever it is. Of course it's Mathias. "Join us, Berry! We're about to play Marco Polo!" He shakes his head meekly. Mathias frowns deeply, and pulls himself up onto the concrete next to him, splashing him a bit by accident. "What's wrong?" Berwald scowls at him.

   "Du g't me w't," he comments quietly. Mathias furrows his brows in confusion.    "You love my pool parties. What happened?"    "N'thing," he answers, too quickly. The Dane opens his mouth to speak, but someone calls to him from the water.

   "Mathias, we're starting with or without you! Leave Berwald alone, he's not feeling well today." He gives Tino a grateful look. The Finnish man nods slightly toward him, before turning his attention back to Mathias. "C'mon! We aren't waiting! Send Berwald in for some medicine if you're that concerned." Gratitude washes over him. He knew telling Tino first was the right thing to do, even if it had drained him.

   "Go get you some medicine. I hope you feel better soon!" He slips back into the pool, curiosity satisfied. For the moment. Berwald stands sluggishly, and stumbles into the house. He gets a few concerned looks from the ones inside, but thankfully no one stops him to ask anymore questions. He sighs in relief when he's in the room he'll be staying in for the night, and can no longer hear the music from outside. It had been giving him a headache. Too upbeat. He tosses his glasses haphazardly on the night stand, hoping that helps his head a bit.

   The thought of music reminds him of a song Tino sent to him to maybe help him express how he's feeling. He curls up in his blanket, and sighs heavily. He turns the song on, tears already threatening to fall. He puts it on half volume, not wanting anyone to walk by the door to the room and hear it. He isn't ready for anyone else to know yet. It's still registering in his mind, honestly. He places the phone by his head, and closes his eyes tightly. This causes his tears to fall, but he doesn't care anymore. He is alone. He can be weak when he's alone. It's the only time it's safe to, especially about... this. He hates admitting it to even himself, how is he supposed to tell everyone he's close to? With time, Tino's voice repeats in his head. That time can't come fast enough. He knows he'll have a support group once he shares. It's not about the fear of being blamed. But saying he's been... it's too much for him. He takes a deep breath, and forces himself to think it, no matter how much it hurts. Sexually assaulted. How had he let himself be sexually assaulted? By a human, no less! He shudders, skin crawling uncomfortably. That's enough, for the moment.

   The song restarts, and he focuses on it this time. (link here) His walls break completely, and he lets himself cry freely as he listens. It's not perfect, but the song expresses what he's feeling so much better than he can. And more accurately, too. It's easier to listen to someone else's experience and relate to it than come up with his own. At this stage, anyway. He hopes to come up with his own, one day. But for now, this is all he can handle. He pauses it when it ends, and takes a deep, shaky breath. He lets it out through his nose slowly, willing his tears away. "I'm m're th'n m' b'dy," he mumbles to himself. His head hurts even more now, so he decides to actually get some medicine. He shoves the blanket off of himself, and stands. He freezes when he turns toward the door. He's not alone. He hurries to wipe at the tears streaming down his cheeks, but he's certain Francis heard everything.

   "Berwald," he whispers. "I- Berwald, I-" He bows his head quickly. "Here," he holds out a cup of water and some medicine. Berwald assumes Mathias sent him to make sure he actually takes some medicine. He almost always fights taking anything, so it makes sense. He takes the items, and swallows down one more than the instructions say. He places the two containers on his nightstand, and sits on his bed. He motions for Francis to sit next to him. He really wants to tell him to leave, but that's not fair to him. It's not his fault he walked in on that. He steps toward him hesitantly. He nods reassuringly, until he finally sits next to him. There's a heavy silence between them for at least five minutes, Francis fidgeting the entire time. Unable to take it anymore, he says something. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm here to listen, if you want to talk about it. Or cry on, if you don't want to talk but want to let it out. And I want you to know it wasn't your fault. It wasn't. No matter what you tell yourself. It will never be your fault. Understood?" A lump forms in Berwald's throat, and he nods.

   "T-tack." He closes his eyes, and lays his head on Francis' shoulder. He scoots closer, and wraps his arms around him. His body starts to shake, and in a matter of seconds he's crying into Francis' hair.

   "Let it out. I'm right here. And I won't leave. I promise." He brings his hand up, and runs it through Berwald's hair cautiously. He wants to comfort him, but he doesn't want to touch a spot that will remind him of what happened. He seems to receive it well though, so he considers it a safe thing to do. "Of course you're more than your body, Berwald. That shouldn't even be a question. Your body is what matters the least to the people that care about you. They care about who you are, not what you are. Every bit of who you are." Berwald pulls him closer. "Even your flaws. The people that care about you love everything about you. Especially your flaws. No matter how little or how large. Caring about those is more important than caring about the good things about you. It shows we love you with them, not despite them. After all, you wouldn't be Berwald if you didn't have everything you currently do. And if this changes you, we'll deal with it. We will accommodate for it. Anyone that doesn't... Well, you're worth more than their time, anyway. It won't be because of anything you did. If someone does that, it's on them. Not you. Absolutely none of this is because of you. Do I have permission to hug you?" Berwald sobs loudly, then nods. Francis hugs him tightly with one arm, running his hand through his hair even more.

~

    When he's thoroughly lost track of time and Berwald has been silent for a long time, Francis carefully releases his hold on the man. He doesn't react, which makes him think he might be asleep. He pulls away just enough to look at his face. His eyes are indeed closed, and his breathing is rather even. He smiles to himself, and kisses him on the forehead. "I'll protect you," he whispers to him. "I promise." He lays them down in the bed, being careful of Berwald's phone. "Sleep well. I love you," he kisses the top of his head. "Maybe I'll get to tell you that soon." But, for now, both of them have a different thing to worry about. He may have volunteered to bring Berwald some medicine so he could finally tell him his feelings for him, but the moment he heard the song he knew he wouldn't be doing that. "Your comfort is more important," he mumbles out. "I will tell you eventually, but I won't let myself until I feel you've recovered enough to stop blaming yourself for this. I'll help you get there." He nuzzles him, then sighs quietly. In the silence, he can hear the music from the party. "'Might Tell You Tonight' by Scissor Sisters. How ironic." Music truly is the language of feelings.