#so i guess thats why im just venting here aaa

[terraliensvent]

About this: https://www.tumblr.com/terraliensvent/762628974139637760/httpsdocsgooglecomdocumentd1hedsgxllpfwh2z

At first, I gotta say that I never wrote something like this before, but the way my asshole burned out from this PSA is indescribable. Second, English is not my native language so I may make some writing mistakes, I apologise in advance.

This is more like an appeal to Veal. So basically the whole thing is like:

You: heyy Civ hru?

Civ: Aww im bad :(

You: ohhh nooo what happened?? Wanna talk about it? I'm concerned :0

Civet: *actually does what you asked them to do and tells how they feel*

You: AHHGG NOOO!1! IM A MINOR AAA!!1! NOO DON'T SPEAK TO ME ABOUT SUCH THINGS NO!!!!11!1 IM A MINOR WTFFFF

Like what the actual fuck, this even feels funny to realise. People are being honest here, but let's be honestER:

You're fucking 16, not 6. You CAN talk about such things. I know damn well you wrote this PSA just to make even more drama and let people know "Oh look! I also have beef with Civ! I'm on your side guys!". But if you really get so fucked up after talking about Alcohol/Drugs/Other I'm not even sure how you exist in the society. Like damn you only got 2 years left to stop being so fucking soft. And btw, you don't automatically mature once you turn 18 at the snap of a finger. It's a process that lasts for YEARS, and if at this age you have issues with tallking about such topics (especially on the internet) then I have bad news for you. You're not a little kid to shout "IM A MINOR! DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT ALCOHOL!!".

Even when I was 16 I was talking with my minor and adult friends about many different topics, it's internet, all kinds of shit here. And none of them stopped me with words "I'm a minor!! Don't talk to me about this!!" You know why? Bcuz starting drama was not in their interest.

I'm not on Civ's side in the Terra conflict (I'm actually on nobody's side) but this PSA is pure bullshit and has absolutely NOTHING to do with Terraliens. Not only your words make no sense, but you also showed that you're not trustworthy and childish. You leaked a PRIVATE conversation that supposed to be PRIVATE and BETRAYED a person that considered you their friend. All that just for hype.

Like I personally would never trust you with anything, knowing that for you leaking private chats it's easier than actually THINKING. It's like, people like you are the reason why others may have trust issues.

This whole vent post may sound rude as fuck but at least it's the hard truth that you need to realise to avoid bad situations in the future. As a person who was betrayed by many people I have nothing but pure disguist towards this PSA and your behavior.

The moral of the story: GROW UP.

post related

i dont even have a rebuttal to this actually, a lot of what you said is your opinion and if you dont see anything wrong with having a 16 year old emotionally manage you, a legal adult, and make sure that you go to class and brush your teeth, then thats your prerogative i guess

[ta-wa-go-to]

.

[neepynoodles]

:( feels bad, man

im!! anxious. really anxious abt seeing the counsellor tmr. just aaa??? like i know yeah she’ll be asking ME questions and stuff but also just!! what?? do i say!!! what if i cant answer the questions!!! like. “why do you feel _” and i?? i dont know?? bc then!!! i just feel like my problems arent valid!!! bc i cant think of WHy i feel this way!!! at least i figured out the reasoning behind my jealousy issues ahhahahahahhahahaha yeah it stems from previous losing touch with my best friend so now im just afraid for that to happen again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but then its gonna get to “so why do you hate yourself?” and its like ??id ont know i just D o???????????? i just dO!!!!!!!!!!! because?? id ont see my own worth??? idk man??? i just. dont!! see how i have any worth or use or any likeable traits!!! so god knows what my friends see in me!!!!! at least im over the whole “my friends are lying to me about liking me and theyre just being nice by sticking around” bc lmao nah, if they didnt like me they wouldnt bother with me. but then also!! subtle attempts at gaining validation that dont!! result in validation lead me to the thoughts of ‘see? if they REALLy wanted u to be involved they wouldve asked!! but they didnt!! they DONT CARE!!!!!’ and its just a wholE MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

and also i have 0 trust in adults now!!!!!! and in telling my problems to an adult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate adults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but thats beside the point. well it isnt but yA knOW!! 

but then its gonna get to “why are you here” and its like (^: bc?? my friends say i should get help lmao?? “why?” 

denial - others have it worse, im just whining and complaining and being a burden, i keep just venting to my friends and its stressful to them and puts a lot of pressure on their already stressful lives but then my other option is holding it all in and that. yeah that hasnt worked out well in the past. 

bc im suicidal nearly all the time?? it used to be only some nights and id feel better in the morning but not!! anymore!!!! now i get a Suicidal Thought at least Once A Day and it doesnt go away in the mornings!!!!!!!!!!! why am i suicidal??? itD just be SO MUCH EASiER to be DEAD!!!!!!!! i wouldnt have to worry about anything! i wouldnt have to deal with the shitty people in the world! i would stop being a burden! no one cares! i’m a waste of space! no one will miss me! everyone will move on and forget about me! i just. have no will to live? theres tons of things to live FOR but i dont. really have a reason to live??

i occasionally self-harm!! not to the point of bleeding but just. scratching, a lot of scratching. 

i mean this technically counts? as self-harm but i skip meals!!!! on purpose, that is. i mean it started as being because of a mentality that no food = less weight gain/losing weight but like! losing weight involves both HEALTHY EATING and EXERCISE not SKIPPING MEALS and i know that but its still?? ingrained in my mind that skipping meals will help me be skinnier!! also adding to the death thing - it’d be easier to just die! but yeah then it’s just become a Thing. like i don’t even question it when i miss a meal it’s just not a big deal, it’s normal to me now. if my friends missed a meal i’d be very upset and do what myf riends do to me when I miss a meal but i just. dont question it!! i just skIp!! and body image h a h a. i KNOw theres nothing wrong with being fat and im not even That Fat but i still just!!!!

hobbies are stressful. nothing Feels fun anymore. everything is stressful because it’s not PERFeCt so its WORHTLESS just like ME

emotional numbness somtimes? when everything is just kinda. nothing?? like i feel nothing sometimes??? 

jealousy issues due to fear of and past experiences of losing friends due to just. moving on and not staying in touch. but my previous friend would only go on about her NEW friends and how GREAT they were which = i wasnt good enough. like i know it doesnt but it Does????? same with my new friends!! jordy in particularly bc theyre the person im the closest to Ever and i dont want to lose that but i know that like, death is inevitable and it wont be long before they realise how worthless i am and leave!!! i wouldnt be friends with me. 

what do i want?

to feel Better i guess

not want to die anymore?

stop bothering my friends with my problems on top of their problems by not having problems??

just. feel better about myself? and. life?