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zeroeightzeroone · 5 months ago

Text

mon cœur - han jisung

love collection masterlist

genre: fluff, soft

synopsis: how did one 'i' meet the other 'i'?

pairings: idol!han jisung (istp) x fem!reader (infp)

wc ~7.6k| moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:

'closed for construction, sorry for the inconvenience.'

jisung blinks at the paper with bold text, allowing the words to register before he lets out a frustrated sigh. he continues to read the sign repeatedly, like if he read it enough, time would speed up, and the cafe would magically finish construction and reopen. unsure of how long he's been standing at the cafe's entrance inside the company building, he takes a couple of reluctant steps back, pulling out his phone and swiping into the group chat. a pout on his lips as he taps away and sends a message to the boys.

hanji: did you guys know the cafe on the first floor is closed for construction

leader bang: yes they sent an email last week

leebit: ^^

seungmoo: lol did u not check your email last week

jeonginnie: when was the last time you checked your emails

hanji: so you all knew

hyune: yeah cos we checked our emails

dwaekki: are you on the first floor right now

hanji: … yes

yongbokkie: haha

dwaekki: so you found out right when you texted us

seungmoo: changbin hyung pls you found out yesterday since you also didn't check your email

hyune: oh right haha

leebit: 2racha sharing one brain cell

dwaekki: ok well han didn't need to know

hanji: ok well you all suck i'm going to get coffee somewhere else

leader bang: take someone with you

hanji: i'll be fine if i take any of you, i won't hear the end of how i don't check my emails so i will go alone

leebit: hehe

hyune: you won't hear the end of it regardless

leader bang: well come back safe

he sends a cute little emoji, acknowledging chan's message, before he shuts his phone off, slips it into his pocket, and pulls a black face mask out from the opposite pocket. hopefully, the mask would help hide his identity, just enough not to draw any attention to him during his quick coffee run. jisung loops the elastics around his ears and adjusts the nose wire as he walks to the front doors of the building, bidding a polite bow to the front desk staff. he then makes his way out of the jyp building.

he takes his phone out again, strolling as he researches what cafes there are in the area; a handful of cafes near the jyp entertainment building, a lot of them within walking distance, too. however, just to be safe, jisung looks for a cafe that isn't frequented often, one that would be emptier than the competitors nearby so he can go in and out promptly.

mon cœur.

that's the name of the cafe jisung chose; the walk to the cafe is a minute or so longer than the others, but seeing as it's almost empty according to the foot traffic tracker in the review app, jisung doesn't mind the walking.

upon entering the cafe, he's greeted by the barista. jisung's first breath is laced with coffee beans and the scent of freshly baked pastries; he scans over the cafe's interior and walks towards the cash register. eyes gazing at the white walls, oak wood accents and various green plants scattered around the cafe, the interior giving off a clean but soothing and comfortable atmosphere. even though jisung knows he will order the same thing he gets at every other cafe, he lets himself look over the menu.

"good morning, welcome to mon cœur; what can i get for you today?" jisung's eyes meet the barista's, who smiles warmly towards him.

"can i get an iced americano?" he asks, his eyes drifting over to the empty cups displayed in various sizes at the cafe. " a medium size, please."

the barista nods as she punches in his order, confirming his item. jisung grabs his wallet as the barista is transferring the respective cost onto the card machine for payment.

"it'll be ready as soon as possible."

jisung politely smiles behind his mask, his eyes becoming crescents as he waves his hand, "don't worry, take your time. i'm in no rush."

making his way over to one of the tables, jisung takes a seat and pulls out his phone, deciding to pass the time by scrolling through the messages from fans on the bubble messaging app. meanwhile, he can hear the barista working in the background, the coffee machines running, ice being poured into cups, sinks turning on and off and fridge doors opening and closing.

ding!

jisung's attention is captured by the sudden chime of the bell dangling over the door, his gaze snapping towards the entrance where he feels like his mouth has suddenly gone dry. the barista turns to greet the new customer inside the cafe.

"good morning, welcome to–oh, y/n!" the barista's tone quickly shifts from customer service to casual. "you're not on shift today?"

jisung finds himself curious and entranced by the new presence inside the cafe, his eyes following the girl who has just entered, and he walks up to the counter.

you chuckle, "of course, i'm not on shift today. i'm only scheduled once or twice a week–i do have work later. the higher-ups have a meeting, so we start later than usual on those days."

when he realizes he's been staring for a second too long, jisung snaps out of his daze and looks back at his phone screen, scrolling. he tries not to eavesdrop and listen in, but he's getting snippets here and there in between the loud sounds of machines drowning out some of the words exchanged between you and the barista. it's like he can't help it but he also he isn't sure what's gotten over him; he had seen the tiniest glimpse of your face–a quick side profile as you walked by the table he's sat at–and now he finds himself quite intrigued by you.

"well, you work at your other job more, so it makes sense. you're here tomorrow for work, aren't you?"

"that's right, are you? are you my partner tomorrow?"

maybe he's so intrigued because you're the only two customers in the cafe; with the addition of the barista, only three people are standing in the small unit. maybe it was the lack of other customers and conversations to eavesdrop on had jisung drawn to the one you were having with the barista; either that, or it's the fact that all he's seen is the quickest glimpse of your side profile, and the only thought that registered in his brain that moment was 'pretty'.

"anyway, the usual for you?"

you nod with a smile, "you know me so well, thanks mia."

the barista, whose name jisung now knows is mia, beams at you as she lets you know she'll finish his drink before getting to yours.

it's been less than a minute since she's begun his drink, and in the back of jisung's mind, he wants mia to take her sweet time preparing his shot of espresso, water and ice just so he can listen to your voice a little more. unfortunately, even if she did choose to take her time, you decided to take a seat at the table across from jisung, leaving mia to get back to her job and not wanting to leave, him, the customer waiting too long–saving the conversation for later.

you're clad in jeans and a hoodie. you place your bag down on the chair across from you and pull out your laptop, setting it on the table. your eyes glance towards the man sitting on the opposite side of the cafe. the bottom half of his face is covered by a black mask, and dark strands of hair cover his forehead. you purse your lips together to shoot the stranger a small smile with a nod of your head.

this causes jisung to snap out of his trance, his whole body heating up at the belated realization that he's staring again. only this time, he was caught staring at a stranger by the stranger herself. his focus moves back to his phone where he tries to occupy himself once again with the bubble messages, but can't help but wallow in embarrassment at the fact he was caught. you probably thought he was a creep, some stranger in a cafe you frequented (clearly, seeing as you and the barista are on a first-name basis and the fact you apparently work here) staring at you from across the room and saying nothing.

"hi sir, your iced americano is ready," the barista, mia, announces, capturing jisung's attention as he scrambles to his feet, out of the table he's seated at and up to the counter to claim his order. mia slides jisung's drink towards him, accompanied by a straw and cup sleeve.

"thank you," jisung smiles under his mask once again. the smile doesn't reach his eyes as he thinks and rethinks that you, a beautiful stranger at this cafe, probably thinks he's a creep now.

mia bids her usual parting greetings to customers to jisung, who then turns on his heel, making a beeline for the cafe doors. the door opens with a ding and shuts behind him, at that moment mia's eyes fall on your relaxed frame behind your laptop. all the while, jisung speed walks back to the company building with burning cheeks.

"he was totally into you," mia sings with a mischievous smile.

you scoff in disbelief, looking at mia, whose grin resembles that of the cheshire cat. "he was not. i don't even know him."

"well, he may be a stranger, but that sparkle in his eyes when you walked in is something i could recognize anywhere."

…

due to scheduling, jisung didn't have to go out and get his own coffee to start his day off–the boys had gotten so busy that their managers would take it upon themselves to do a coffee run for the boys and other staff members working with them that day the moment practice began.

the day after jisung went to mon cœur to grab his coffee, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he couldn't stop thinking about the brief glimpse he had of your side profile, how beautiful he found you, how you intrigued him so much that he found himself eavesdropping on your conversation with the barista that day. how could a stranger he didn't even get a clear view of be spending so much time running through his mind?

a month and a half of schedules filled to the brim had passed before their schedules allowed enough time during their breaks for the boys to finally fetch their food and drinks on their own. it was also in that month and a half, the jyp cafe had completed the construction they had undergone and started business up again–but they were no longer jisung's go-to.

he made the short walk over to mon cœur when his break allowed him to, walking in and ordering an iced americano, sometimes a slice of cheesecake to-go if he felt his work efforts were plentiful and flourishing through the week.

to his disappointment, you weren't the one behind the bar.

instead, it was usually mia, the girl who served him the first time and the one you were speaking to that day, joon or aera. even though he wasn't greeted by you behind the counter, the walk to mon cœur has become somewhat of a routine for jisung that he enjoys, allowing him to clear his mind for those couple of minutes.

chan claps his hands together to grasp everyone's attention. "let's take a break. we've practiced without a break since we got in, so let's take a thirty-minute break to relax." he glances at the computer, " everybody better be back on time."

the room is full of agreements as everyone inside of the practice room begin to file out.

some of the boys opt to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat in the meantime, and some of the staff share the same idea as they make their way to the elevator. most of the herd is waiting for the elevator to go up while jisung waits for the elevator to go down.

when the elevator arrives to go up, jisung steps aside to avoid being pushed in with the crowd as they all squish into the small space. it isn't until the elevator doors close and the sound of it whirring as it travels up that jisung realizes he isn't alone in the hallway.

"where are you off to?" seungmin nudges jisung.

"gonna get some coffee, maybe something small to eat too."

"hmm, what are you thinking of?" the slightly younger of the two asks as the elevator going down arrives on their floor; those exiting file out on the floor while jisung and seungmin make their way inside the elevator.

"i was thinking a cheesecake slice, maybe a small bun too," jisung tries to visualize the display fridge at mon cœur that showcases the many desserts and delicacies they offer.

"i don't remember the cafe downstairs having cheesecake slices? was it a new addition after the construction?"

"oh, i'm not going to the cafe downstairs."

seungmin pauses, blinking slowly, "you're going to a cafe that's farther than the one we have on the main floor?" jisung nods, "why?"

"it's not too long of a walk, just a couple of minutes," he begins to explain. they have great cheesecake slices, and their drinks are great too, so it's worth the couple of minutes."

"i'll come along, i wanna see how good this cheesecake is that you're taking the extra couple of minutes to walk."

jisung shrugs and goes along with it.

they pass the front desk on their way out, bidding the receptionist a polite bow before walking out of the building, obscuring the lower half of their faces with face masks they'd pulled out. much like jisung had said, the walk is indeed short, maybe feeling even shorter since they filled the time discussing work–how comeback preparations have been going.

the bell dangling above the cafe entrance chimes when jisung gently swings the door open, seungmin walking in first and him following behind. the cafe is quiet as usual, with a handful of customers scattered inside–there may be around five customers besides jisung and seungmin. the large windows facing the street are where most customers choose to sit, relax, and take sips of their drinks while enjoying the street view.

jisung and seungmin make their way to the counter, and to jisung's dismay, it looks like the barista behind the bar isn't the beautiful stranger that's been on his mind.

jisung nudges seungmin, who moves his head slightly in his direction, jisung points toward the overhead menu, "have you decided?"

seungmin shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest and making slow strides up to the counter to get a closer look at the menu. "we just got here, of course, i haven't."

the closer they are to the counter, the closer view seungmin gets of the many pastries and dessert slices presented behind the glass. the pastries sit on long ceramic plates, lined up neatly by their different type, while the desserts are lined up inside the fridge, sitting on individual ceramic plates and angled to show off the various layers. jisung already has his eyes on the new york cheesecake slice and an iced americano, but he also finds himself eying a double chocolate muffin as seungmin hums to himself and moves around as he looks.

the barista, joon, greets the two of them with a bright and toothy smile: "good afternoon and welcome to mon cœur. i'm here to help whenever you're ready!"

jisung and seungmin smile behind their masks, crescent, sparkly eyes beaming back at the barista who recognizes jisung as a regular who's recently been frequenting their cafe.

seungmin nudges jisung, who shifts his attention to the boy, "the chocolate muffin looks good, but–"

"but what?"

seungmin whispers, "we're gearing up for a comeback, should i really—"

jisung cuts him off, "yes, we've worked hard, so we deserve a little treat. plus, you'll burn it all off in dance practice later."

seungmin hums as he ponders jisung's point before shrugging and deciding on the cake. the two boys place their orders separately, jisung going first, and in the middle of seungmin's order, someone comes out from the back of the cafe through the curtains.

"joon, do we have any–"

you had walked out, eyes looking at the many shelves, and didn't notice the customers standing opposite of joon at the cash register.

immediately you're pursing your lips together in a sheepish smile as your cheeks heat up, bowing in apology before continuing your search all on your own. this time, you stay behind the bar instead of going back through the curtains into the back of the cafe, your eyes rifling over the shelves to check and recheck the stock.

joon apologizes with a soft smile, but seungmin shrugs it off with a chuckle before finalizing his order. once he's given the receipt and directed to move to the pickup counter, seungmin finds his friend frozen in his tracks and doing a terrible job hiding how he's blatantly staring at the female barista who emerged from the back. jisung practically has heart eyes.

seungmin nudges him; with a whisper, he says, "you're staring, you know."

jisung snaps out of his momentary trance to scoff and deny the other's claims, crossing his arms over his chest–subconsciously stealing a couple more glances at you.

"talk to her," seungmin murmers, and jisung shakes his head immediately, "why not?"

"job doesn't allow that."

"who said anything about the big 'd' word?" seungmin teases, "i just said talk to her, but if that's what you're thinking of–get her number and ask her out."

jisung shakes his head profusely. even though he wants to do exactly that, he's too nervous to speak to you. he wasn't even expecting to see you behind the bar today since every other time he had come to the cafe, he was greeted by someone else.

the one time jisung doesn't come alone is when you're on shift–he likes it, of course; who wouldn't enjoy an unexpected sighting of something, someone, so beautiful. what he doesn't like is how seungmin caught him red-handed, already anticipating the teasing and jokes when they walk back to the company building.

you hand their orders off to them, thanking them and bidding the two a nice day before they're out of the cafe and walking back to the company building to eat in the practice room. when they're outside, halfway to the company building, seungmin speaks up.

"it wasn't just the cheesecake and coffee that made the walk there worth it, was it?" there was a tinge of playfulness in his tone.

"shut up, i don't know what you're talking about," jisung denies, taking a long sip of his iced americano.

"mhmm…" seungmin hums, "as if you weren't all heart eyes for the barista that came out from the back."

jisung's cheeks flush; he tries hard to sound stern, only to stutter and stumble over his words, "s-shut up, i'm not taking you with me next time."

…

that was a lie.

seungmin continued to tag along with jisung whenever they had the time to go to mon cœur during their break, jisung avoiding the slightly younger one's knowing gaze as he smiled teasingly. it was odd how you were always behind the bar suddenly when jisung was accompanied by seungmin; whenever he came solo, it was never you.

a blessing and a curse.

a blessing that jisung has the opportunity to see your pretty face and your radiant smile when tending to customers, and a curse when seungmin gives him teasing looks and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

"i hate you," jisung murmurs as seungmin dawns a mischievous smile, the two of them now standing in line, waiting for you to complete another order before tending to them.

they watch as you transfer the orders of the customers in front of them over to joon, who makes the orders behind you. before they know it, you're standing behind the point-of-sale system and smiling at the two boys.

"hi, welcome to mon cœur," your voice is like honey to jisung's ears, "what can i get for you two today?"

seungmin nudges jisung to go first, but jisung finds himself struggling to speak, unable to order even though he gets the same drink every single time he's here. jisung stutters under your waiting gaze, your sparkling eyes, and seungmin intervenes to ease the awkwardness.

"two medium sized iced americanos, please."

you relay his words back in confirmation, catching a nod from the one in a windbreaker as you punch their order into the system. meanwhile, jisung's gaze travels to the name tag pinned on the upper left side of your apron.

'y/n.'

"anything else for today?" your eyes drift from the pos screen to the two boys standing in front of you. the one wearing the beanie you recognize as a new regular, and his friend with the windbreaker a new new regular.

you watch as the man wearing the windbreaker nudges the man in the beanie, who shakes his head in response. his deep brown eyes crinkling into crescents as he bids you a smile under his mask. you exchange a soft, toothless smile and connect the pos to the card system so they can pay. you hear the sound of the button buzz as you move to get the respective cups and set them up.

seungmin turns the machine back in your direction, opting against taking the receipt before walking to the pickup area. the two men lean against the wall-mounted tables nearby.

"y'know, it's now or never."

jisung scoffs, rolling his eyes, "i don't know what you're talking about."

even though half his face is covered by a mask, jisung can tell seungmin is deadpanning at him because of the way his eyes droop.

"i'm just saying," he shrugs, "take the chance; what do you have to lose by doing that?"

jisung blinks, realizing seungmin has a point. if you reject his advances, he can always go back to being a regular at the cafe on the first floor of the company building. if you accept, well, he hasn't really thought that far.

regardless, he doesn't think he's ready for that, despite the fact it's been almost two months since he began frequenting mon cœur instead of the company cafe. with a soft sigh, jisung chooses to nod his head in acknowledgement and turn away from seungmin, facing toward the front as they wait.

"hi!" you grab the attention of the two boys, "your order is ready!"

pushing themselves off the table they're leaning up against, they walk up to the counter as you slide the tray with their order closer to the centre of the counter. seungmin makes the move to slide the tray toward himself, nearly sitting on the edge of the counter. you bid them a friendly smile before going over to clean up whatever you see fit.

jisung nudges seungmin when he notices the two wax-lined paper bags with the cafe logo on the front. jisung picks up one bag, peeking inside to find a chocolate chip cookie, "did you order cookies? did i just not hear it?"

seungmin shakes his head, confused as he thinks back to confirm that he only ordered the two of them iced americanos. he shakes his head again, "just the drinks... here, let me ask."

seungmin looks over to you and joon, wanting to make sure he isn't interrupting either of you.

"hi, sorry!" seungmin calls out; both you and joon turn towards the pickup counter. your feet follow the direction of your gaze as you move to attend to customers. seungmin holds up one bag, "we didn't order any cookies?"

you and joon look at each other, exchanging a smile before turning back to the two men.

"they're on the house," joon beams.

"oh?"

"you guys have been coming here quite regularly for the past couple of weeks," joon explains, "it's a little thank-you treat for the support."

"we really do appreciate it," you add.

"well, in that case," seungmin cleared his throat, "thank you so much."

"we also appreciate it–how hard you work and all," jisung pipes up rather awkwardly in his opinion.

as seungmin and jisung walk towards the front doors of the cafe, they both turn back to wave toward you and joon who stand at different stations behind the counter, bidding you two goodbye.

"thank you, have a good day!" joon waves.

"we hope to see you again soon!"

…

as the weeks went by, the cafe visits went by as well.

sometimes jisung would go alone, sitting in the cafe for a bit to clear his mind in between work while sipping on a beverage and taking small bites of dessert. other times seungmin or another member would offer to tag along, also wondering why jisung would choose to go to a cafe a couple minutes away instead of the one on the first floor of their workplace. however, the members chalked it up to the quality of the drinks and desserts, finding them to surpass those of the cafe at the office.

unlike before, jisung didn't need to be accompanied by seungmin to increase the universe's chances of finding you behind the counter. it was rare but on the rare occasion that you'd be working the same day jisung would come in for his regular order, you would engage in small talk when you were done cleaning up behind the counter and not attending to other customers.

"good morning jisung, the usual today as well?"

"am i that predictable?"

"maybe our americano and cheesecake is just that good."

"hmm… you're right about that, but no cheesecake today, i'll go for a chocolate muffin."

"look at you, changing it up, making things interesting."

"i'm full of surprises, y/n."

"one day it's cheesecake, another day a muffin. maybe another day you'll be getting something else?"

sometimes small talk in passing became conversations where he'd learn more about you and small details of your life you were willing to tell him.

through these conversations, he learned that you work two jobs to make enough money to move out of your parents' house and somewhere closer to your university campus–cutting down the commute time and translating it into study time. you'd noticed how beneficial that extra couple of hours was over your first year when your friends in the city let you stay over for a couple nights. since it's the summertime, you can pick up more shifts at your other job, which pays a bit more than the cafe job, and any free days are taken over by a cafe shift.

it's also through these conversations that jisung's intrigue and interest in you has grown.

when he first saw you, he was already curious and wanted to get to know you because of how you caught his eye. now, you've caught his attention and his ear as he wants to learn more about you, your life, your personality–just you as a whole.

it's safe to say he's moved on from a surface-level attraction to a pretty stranger and into crushing hard on that cute stranger, wanting to dig below that surface and uncover what you're willing to show him. the more he learns about you, the more he has yet to discover as the questions keep coming. the more he learns, the more interested jisung becomes in you.

of course, you've also taken the time in those conversations to ask jisung about himself and his life but he keeps the information sparse and omits some details. it's left you even more curious and wondering, wanting to know more about the boy who comes into the cafe whose order you have memorized.

what you've been told is that jisung interns for a company as a media producer and that he's one of many producer interns on a team under a big company.

he could say it's a strategy to leave you wanting more, to leave you guessing, but it's really because of his job. he wants to open up to you and let you in so you can get to know him, but he holds himself back. with the career jisung is in, the risks of being open are much greater than they would be for someone in a less publicized job.

jisung doesn't want his job to shift the way you see him and treat him. he wants you to treat him as jisung, the boy from the cafe who loves iced americanos and cheesecake. he doesn't want you to treat him as a person of importance in the music industry; he doesn't want to be treated like a celebrity.

maybe it's the fact that jisung has a crush on you that sways his judgement when he wants to think that you aren't the type of person to go blabbing to the tabloids about how an idol asked for your phone number–exposing each and every detail of who, what, where and when. nevertheless, jisung wants to trust you.

its a friday morning when jisung walks into the cafe; he knows you don't work on fridays so he's shocked to see you in the cafe when he steps inside–the shock evident in his wide brown eyes. you aren't standing behind the counter but sat at one of the tables near the window with your laptop in front of you, but jisung still wasn't expecting to see you here today. you exchange a warm, lopsided smile as he walks over to the table you're seated at, slowly dragging the chair out and taking a seat.

"what brings you here?" you wonder, leaning your weight on your palm, your elbow propped up on the table as you look at the man sitting across from you.

"the usual," he shrugs, "need my coffee fix. how about you? you don't work here on friday‘s?“

you nod with a tired sigh, "that's right. can't believe you remembered that." a lazy chuckle slips through your lips, "another late start at the other job, figured i'd come here and get some stuff done before i'm holed up there 'till five in the evening."

jisung watches as your fingers curl around the handle of the mug, lifting it off the table and to your lips to take a brief sip of–what smells to be hot chocolate–before gently placing the mug on the table next to your laptop.

"how long have you been here?" he asks, you shift your eyes to the analog clock at the top right corner of your laptop.

"hmm… since around seven?"

his eyes practically bulge out of his head, "the cafe isn't open until eight."

"yeah, i got here when aera did," jisung turns to see the short brunette behind the counter before turning back to you, "helped her a bit with pre-opening and then took a seat down here."

"your bosses here must love you, free labour," he teases.

"that's what aera said before she made me sit my ass down here."

the girl behind the counter's ears perk up at the sound of her name, a loud "hmm?" catching both your's and jisung's attention, your heads snapping in her direction. the girl blinks, a wet mug in one hand and a drying rag in the other as she stares at you both. the cafe falls quiet with the three of you exchanging looks before jisung waves at her, the girl waving back with the hand holding the rag before going back to drying the ceramic dish in the other.

you and jisung exchange eye contact before a short fit of giggles erupts from the both of you, now sitting up straight and facing the other.

"you didn't wanna take the late start as an opportunity to sleep in?" jisung wonders, leaning his weight on the table.

you shake your head, "i did that the last time and almost ended up late for work."

he sucks in a sharp breath to which you kiss your teeth with a nod.

"yeah, at least i'm up and ready to get to work while i'm here," you say, taking another sip of your hot chocolate before making a belated realization: " i should let you get your usual order. i don't wanna keep you too long since you probably have to get back to work too."

jisung nods his head with a sigh, pushing himself up off the chair and bidding you a smile under his mask. when he's turned around, you've put your headphones back in too.

he knows he needs to get back to the company building so they can continue with recording and dance practices before they're off to do some interviews and radio shows gearing up for their next comeback–the company doing what it can to promote its rookie boy group. it's a bittersweet feeling, as he does enjoy his job, but he doesn't want to stop talking to you.

jisung and aera engage in small talk as he orders, the barista tapping away on the pos screen in between to make sure she's got everything right even though he orders the same thing every time. her ears perk up this time when jisung adds something additional to his order–this time, it isn't a cheesecake or a muffin. the completion of the transaction triggers a shrill noise from the card machine, and jisung slips his card back into his wallet while moving to the pickup counter.

meanwhile, you've got both hands wrapped around the warm mug of hot chocolate, your lips resting on the edge of the rim as your eyes graze over your laptop screen. your focus on reading the latest email from the university president regarding changes to academic policies and such results in you just holding the mug up to your lips and not taking a sip.

even after reading the email over twice, you can't grasp what they were getting at. you choose to take a sip of your drink, swipe around on the trackpad to close the email, and switch tabs. at the same time you place the mug back down on the table, jisung is standing across from you with an iced americano in one hand and a wax-lined paper bag in the other. his mask is pulled down, resting under his chin.

this may be the first time you're getting a good look at the man without a mask covering half of his face. of course he's slipped it down before to take sips of his drink as he leaves the cafe, getting glimpses of his unmasked face for a couple of moments before he's out the cafe doors. however, he's now standing in front of you, allowing you to get a clear look at his face.

you slip one side of your headphones off, holding it between your thumb and pointer finger while you address the man across from you, "the usual, as usual." you tip your chin in the direction of his coffee.

your eyes move to the off-white paper bag in his other hand.

"not a cheesecake this time?" you ask playfully, head cocked at an angle.

he smiles and shakes his head, "i got a cookie this time."

you hum in acknowledgement, "chocolate chip?" he nods, "a good choice."

"actually," jisung begins, "it's for you."

your eyes widen, "what–"

you quickly drop the headphone in your hand as jisung extends his arm, the off-white bag in your own hands before you know it. you glance down at the bag and then up to him.

"wait–"

jisung is quick to cut you off, shaking his head as he starts to make his way to the door, walking backwards. there's a cheeky smile on his lips.

"you got here early, and are working so hard," he explains, "a free cookie, you deserve it."

"thank you, but ji–"

he waves you off the moment he hears the word 'but.' you open your mouth to speak again but he's already rushing out of the cafe. the loud tingling of the bell hanging above the door catches aera's attention from behind the counter where she was cleaning, both of the girls now looking at the entrance, where the door closes slowly. aera looks over to you, moving closer in your direction from behind the bar where you sit perplexed with a slack jaw.

"–i already get the cookies here for free…"

aera sets the cleaning rag down as she leans on the counter, "whats that?" she gestures to the wax-lined paper bag in your hand, a knowing smirk on her face.

"a cookie."

"he gave you his cookie?" you nod and aera coos, "how sweet."

"i mean…" you blink slowly, staring at the bag in your hands. you purse your lips, trying to hold back a shy smile, "yeah, sweet."

…

another couple of weeks fly by without any run-ins between you and jisung, whenever you're on shift he doesn't come by and vice versa. regardless of whether you had the opportunity to see him, every time you saw a cookie–it didn't even have to be the cookies that the cafe sells–you were reminded of jisung and his gesture.

the sight of the sweet snack popped an image of the boy and his bright, mischievous smile as he ran out of the cafe before you could even explain that you get the cookies for free since you work here. however, aera and mia argue that even if he knew that for a fact, he still would have bought the cookie for you as a sweet gesture.

pushing the front door open with your hip, hands stretched up to your head as you collect your hair into a ponytail, you walk into the cafe greeting mia who waves at you from behind the counter with a lopsided smile–the hair tie held between your teeth. there are one or two customers in the cafe whose attention shifted to you for a moment when the bells chimed before going back to their own business, paying no mind when you walk by where they're seated on the way to the bar.

"good afternoon, miss y/n," mia greets with a bright smile, arms crossed as she leans on the counter.

the girl chuckles when you mumble back an afternoon greeting, and the hair tie between your teeth makes it hard to speak clearly.

you split your ponytail in two, pulling the sections to adjust the style before redoing your afternoon greeting, speaking clearly, "afternoon madam mia, to what do i owe this pleasure to?"

mia rolls her eyes playfully as she nods her head in the direction of the back area of the cafe, blocked off to the customers as they keep storage and stock there. you walk toward the bathrooms, going into the back through the staff door and retrieving your apron off the hooks. you notice new boxes stacked on each other, calling out your name to be counted and organized for inventory later on while you're on the move, adjusting your apron.

"when was inventory delivered?" you ask mia as you walk through the curtains, joining her behind the bar.

she hums, thinking, "last night before closing? since it was so late–joon and kino were literally about to lock up when the delivery arrived–they had to stack them up in the back and leave it for us today."

you click your tongue, shaking your head at the explanation, and mia makes a sound in agreement, sharing your sentiment without words.

"i did most of it earlier–the ones i could carry on my own," she states, walking over to the sink to rinse the towel under hot water before ringing it out, "i'll need your help with the rest."

you nod, tying the straps of your apron together behind your back, and survey the area behind the bar, looking for something to do.

"you can bring out some more cookies," mia says.

you turn to find a mischievous look in her eyes.

she puts her hands up, feigning innocence, "what? i'm just giving you a task."

at that moment, the bell hanging above the entrance jingles as a customer or two enter the cafe. mia, already standing facing the door sees the customers who come in before you do.

"speaking of cookies," she smirks, occupying herself by rinsing the towel again.

you turn to face the entrance, walking toward the cash register and are met with the familiar eyes of jisung's. behind him, seungmin trails into the cafe, also clad in a mask as usual. the two men walk up to the cash register, but only jisung ends up standing before you as seungmin excuses himself to the bathroom, bidding you a wave before walking off.

"long time no see," you greet jisung, whose eyes light up at the realization that you have noticed his absence, "the usual today as well?"

jisung hums as he thinks, "if i ask you to surprise me, how would that go?"

you shrug, "who knows? never know until you try."

he claps his hands together, nodding his head, "i like that mindset–surprise me."

you shake your head with a smile, punching in his order and sending the transaction to the card machine to complete the payment. he walks to the pickup counter, leaning on the wall-mounted tables across from it as he waits for seungmin to come out from the bathroom. meanwhile, you pause momentarily as you think of what to "surprise" him with, standing in front of the coffee machine with your brows knit together while mia takes seungmin's order.

the two men engage in conversation as they wait for their order to be completed and handed off to them at the pickup counter, discussing the details of a movie they watched a couple nights ago and parts that stood out to them.

standing beside the pastries, one of the off-white wax-lined paper bags sits on the counter in front of you, empty as you call over to mia, "do we have a permanent marker or something?"

"let me check in the drawer."

you mumble out a quick thanks before scribbling something on the back of the paper bag before sliding on a pair of food-safe gloves to retrieve the dessert that will be going into the bag.

the beverages ordered by the two men are sitting at the pickup counter, waiting to be handed off. the rest of their order sitting in two paper bags in your hands. you double-check to make sure you're pairing the correct food and drink together before calling the respective customer.

you call over to seungmin first, sliding his order closer to the opposite end of the counter for him to pick up along with napkins and a straw. when jisung walks up to the counter, seungmin is ripping the paper open to retrieve the straw from the inside, sliding it into the lid and tossing the waste into a nearby bin. you feel your body warm up as you slide jisung's order closer to him, fighting the clamminess of your hand and sliding the paper bag over to him.

you bid him a smile, jisung takes a look at his "surprise" order, eyes scanning over the items. it's his regular iced americano, minus the cheesecake, replaced by whatever is inside the wax-lined bag.

"how'd you know i liked iced americanos?" he teases, and you play along, shrugging with a shy smile.

"good guess?"

he peeks inside the wax-lined bag to find a chocolate chip cookie sitting inside, reminding him of the last time he saw you, a smile playing on the corner of his lips. he looks at you and then at mia, bidding you both a goodbye and good day before him, and seungmin are out the doors, on the way back to work.

seungmin takes a sip of his drink through the straw, looking over a jisung, "what'd you get?"

the slightly older boy holds up the bag, "cookie."

"is that your thing now? you exchange cookies?" seungmin teases, a playful smile on his lips.

jisung rolls his eyes, "i mean—shit!"

seungmin stops in his tracks when jisung hurls forward, tripping over something. thankfully, he caught himself fast enough that he didn't end up falling on the sidewalk, what did end up falling was the paper bag with the cookie inside and a bit of his iced americano when he tightened his grip around it, squeezing some of the beverage out.

seungmin looks around the pavement, trying to identify what caused jisung to trip, only to be met with the flat cement, "how did you manage to trip over nothing?" seungmin scoffs with a chuckle, eyes then moving to jisung's feet that are clad in chunky shoes. he clicks his tongue, "never mind, i see it now."

jisung doesn't reply, staring at the pavement.

"are you okay?" seungmin finally asks, wondering why the boy wasn't coming up with a snarky reply or spitting out a flustered excuse with embarrassment. he blinks at the boy who stares at the pavement, jisung points to the bag.

seungmin tears his eyes off his band member, eyes following the direction jisung points at. the wax-lined paper bag sits empty on the pavement floor, the cookie–now broken into pieces–sitting nearby, and ants are beginning to make their way over to the dessert.

"are you that up–" he stops himself with a quiet gasp of realization.

jisung isn't fixated on the fact his cookie is broken and being stolen bit by bit by ants; he's fixated on the off-white, wax-lined paper bag that had fallen out of his hands face down. the backside of the plain bag faced up to the sky, a message scribbled in the corner with a permanent marker.

'+82 02 xxxx yyyy, thanks for the cookie :) - y/n'

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hyuuukais · 1 year ago

Text

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚your song (1.6k)

->♡idol!han jisung x fem reader

->♡pov: u fall in love with han jisung

->♡warnings: 1 kind of suggestive comment

it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

never in your life had you fallen in love. of course, you knew love, you knew her well. love surrounded you in almost every way possible; you knew her like the back of your hand. but romance? fireworks? falling so deep you're drowning in it?

you can't say you're familiar with the feeling.

so when you get this tingling in your fingers as they brush against his arm accidentally, causing you both to look up and blush, you indulge in the foreign feeling. lightheaded, nervous, giddy.

"hi, i'm jisung-" his smile slightly falters as you pull your hand away. "you're felix's friend, right?"

i know it's not much, but it's the best i can do. my gift is my song and this one's for you

overworked, overtired, a cup of hot chocolate turned cold long ago the only thing in your system.

as if he sensed your stress from across the globe, your phone lit up with an incoming call. you debate getting up to grab your phone which is across the room charging on a small table. seeing the contact name decided for you; hanji.

"hello?"

"hey baby," the nickname he'd adopted for you makes your heart swell when he speaks. "you okay?"

"um, yeah, i guess so."

"you don't sound very convincing."

you sigh, giving in and confessing that your workload had been crazy lately. something about him made you want to tell all your deepest secrets, stripping yourself down to the bone for him to see.

"i know i can't do much from here, i wish i could." there's a pause. "what time is it for you?"

"...three am."

"three? y/n i- you!" his reaction makes you laugh. "okay. okay, listen. you, me on the phone, your bed, right now."

"i'm sorry, what?"

"not like that!" he says, a bit too loudly. "i meant like, you go to bed and i stay on the line. i could sing you to sleep."

a blush creeps up your neck, your cheeks, your ears. you agree, of course, and hurry off to bed, you can finish your work last minute in the morning. hearing the one and only han jisung sing to you personally? well, that was an offer you couldn't pass up. little did you know he would do it any time you asked.

his voice comes over the phone softly, and you can even hear him pick at guitar strings. you don't recognize the tune; something new, he said, something i've been working on for y- um, just something, haha. it doesn't take long for sleep to take you, and when you wake, he's hung up. of course he has, he has things to do too. a part of you wishes he'd stayed overnight. there's a text, a simple good morning i hope you slept well!! did you dream of me? :P, and your heart flutters.

and you can tell everybody that this is your song

"y/n hurry up or i'm gonna eat all your birthday cake myself!"

you had just finished getting ready to leave, picking out a green skirt to compliment the shirt jisung wore. you didn't know where you were going, only that one, you were meeting the boys there and two, he wanted to match. green looked so good on him, you couldn't help but stare when he first came into your little apartment.

over the past year, you'd grown closer to him, and one thing he couldn't wait to do was to celebrate your birthday. jisung brought it up multiple times, especially during the last few months, all of the things he wanted to do with you, experience with you. at this point he was almost challenging felix's best friend position.

"oh my god, you look gorgeous." his eyes widen as you step out. "you're joking right? like, you're actually joking? i get to spend my life with someone as beautiful as you-"

now your eyes widen, but it was like jisung hadn't even noticed what he said. he takes your hand in his, making you do a spin; you laugh freely and feel yourself become you in his presence. no one made you feel the way han jisung did.

you were slowly coming to terms with that.

"have i ever told you how much i love you?" jisung wraps his arms around your waist, playfully nuzzling into your neck. anyone looking in would think you were together. "because i love you a lot. shoutout to lix for losing you at that party, 'cause i don't know if he'd have introduced us. keeping you to himself."

he hums a now familiar tune, the song he refuses to tell you about. anytime you bring it up, he shies away, it's nothing, just work. the notes vibrate into your neck. this moment, it's engraving itself into your mind. the intimacy, safety, love.

a moment passes, he moves away from your neck. your faces are dangerously close. his eyes bore into yours, heat radiating off his body. the movement is slight, jisung moving in closer, lips parted.

a knock reminds you of where you are, who you're with, where you're supposed to be going. you break apart.

"i forgot felix was coming here," jisung pouts, leaving to get the door, heart beating just as fast a your own.

i hope you don't mind, i hope you don't mind that i put down in words...

the day finally comes where jisung shows you the lyrics to the song he's been writing. there's not a lot so far, being busy with the tour and all, but enough to feel a deep sadness lie in the pit of your stomach; it's a love song.

"it's... it's beautiful ji," you blink back tears, not wanting him to see. "whoever you wrote this for... they're very lucky."

"if anyone's lucky it's me," he says with a sigh. your back is turned to him, so you don't see the hearts in his eyes, don't feel the way his heart skips a beat when you lean back into him, back against his chest. "she makes me feel... like i could do anything."

he presses a kiss to your temple, and the tears well again.

"she doesn't even realize what she does to me," he says, tone serious. "or how amazing she is, how smart she is. she's a super hard worker, almost too hard, and that's coming from me," he chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "and her laugh? god, her laugh. you know, i thought i was annoying y- um, her, until she laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of her nose because of some stupid joke i made."

no way, you think, he doesn't mean-

...how wonderful life is while you're in the world

but he did.

that night, you didn't confess, just simply looked at him, eyes understanding. nothing happened, not physically at least, both still too scared to make a move even with the unsaid confession hanging heavy in the air, but something changed.

you were closer than ever, limbs entangled during movie nights, countless "friend dates", endless teasing from the others more persistent. the universe was pushing you together; why was it all so scary? although you were sure he felt the same, you couldn't act upon it. what about the media? and if not that, what about your conflicting schedules? a text pulled you away from those thoughts.

hannie bby - new song up soon !!!!!! ur gonna listen right??

y/n - nah. don't feel like it

hannie bby - WHAT

hannie bby - i mean i guess if you don't want to that's fine you don't have to. it meant a lot to me though but i understand

y/n - i was joking !!!!!

hannie bby - don't scare me like that

y/n - i have yt open rn. just waiting for the countdown

hannie bby - :)

hannie bby - i wasn't going to say until after

hannie bby - but this song is inspired by you

even more curious now, you wait anxiously for the video to start. 3.. 2.. 1.. it plays. it's slow at first, an extremely familiar tune playing in your ears. the lyrics are about love and fear; the fear of love. by the end your eyes have grown watery, almost missing jisungs incoming call.

"what did you think?"

the tears fall. "come over."

within twenty minutes, there's a knock on your door. he stares at your wet cheeks when you open the door, his hands on your face in an instant. warmth, connection. jisung kicks the door shut as you back up into your humble apartment, your arms around his neck. no words are said as he turns you around, hands slowly finding their way down to your waist, your back against the now closed door. your faces are close, breath intermingling.

"kiss me."

and he does.

he does and kissing him is an explosion.

his lips are soft, careful, gentle, grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly. your fingers find their way into his hair, lost in the feeling of him against you, chest to chest. when he pulls away, it's brief, you pulling him back more fiercely than intended. a surge of confidence, his tongue brushes against your bottom lip. you let him in, teeth knocking into each other. another heated moment passes before you pull away again, catching your breath. your lips are swollen, pink, his matching and eyes blown out.

"i take it you liked the song?"

"loved it."

he breathes out a laugh, hand caressing your cheek lightly, corner of his mouth twitching upward in a smirk. it doesn't last long. jisung clears his throat, looking down. his hands take yours.

"if i said i loved you-"

"say it," you take a hand away to lift his chin up.

his eyes meet yours. "i love you. ever since we met, i've loved you."

"i love you too," you smile. "more than words can describe."

he leans in again.

-> notes ♡ birthday gift for my love @tfshouldidohere bc i can't see u physically. i love u so much. like so much. like an insane amount you have no idea. i really hope you enjoyed this :3 have THE best birthday ever, i love you i love you i love you <333 💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎💙💗🤎

-> taglist ♡ @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143

#tachi💗#˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚your song #skz #stray kids #han jisung #han jisung x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader

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lalal-99 · 9 months ago

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strawberries & pineapples {h.j.} | tracklist

Han Jisung x afab!reader | trope: slice of life, coming of age | expected word count: 115k

Synopsis: If there's one thing you can always count on, it's your annoyingly adorable boyfriend. Jisung and you already experienced enough trauma lasting a lifetime and you just want to be normal for a while. Perhaps, University can give you the normalcy you so deeply crave. Or maybe, it makes things much, much worse.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and drugs as well as addiction | themes of anxiety and depression | explicit content | dni if your under 18

Cameos include: All of Stray Kids | Lots of cameos including but not limited to Hwasa, Yuqi, Jackson, Taehyung, Wooyoung and Co.

Note: This is the longest plot I have ever created/worked on. As of February 2024, I'm reuploading the currently uploaded chapters and might overwork some of the writing. Updates might be slow, but this is completely planned out, so I will finish this.

Taglist: @skzho @bubblelixie @flakywig @itsallaboutkey @avyskai @mekuiikore @changbiddies0325 @knowleeknow @sensitiveandhungry @fairywriter-oracle @hgema @carstairs-rune @svintsandghosts @hanjis-blog @therhythmafterthesummer @poutypoutybin @skyyveon @jisungiexx @hyunjinswifeee @sunlitwilderness @bincxtesworld @vixensss @rylea08

Let me know if you want to be tagged (need to have an age indicator in your profile!).

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yxngbxkkie · 1 year ago

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#1 3RACHA supporter

okay, so i think this is the cutest thing on earth. my last installment of 3racha in NY for global citizens, and i'm so proud of myself for getting three fics out in two days 😌 i hope you guys enjoy it! let's hope my creative juices will stay with me 🫢💓

feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰

This is all for Jisung. This is all for Jisung. You keep repeating to yourself. You and your best friend flew to New York to surprise your boyfriend's, Jisung and Chan, at the festival they're performing at. What you didn't expect was a monsoon.

The two of you managed to make it to the front of the crowd, having the perfect view of the stage. Excitement flows through your veins as you wait for 3RACHA to take the stage.

You glance down at the Han Quokka skzoo in your hands, adjusting the shirt it's wearing. Someone beside you nudges your arm, causing you to glance over to see your best friend.

"Are you okay?" She asks you, a look of concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry! I'm just getting a little impatient," you chuckle, moving your wet hair out of your eyes. "We haven't been able to see them for weeks on end. I just want to see my baby."

The shorter woman rests a hand on your arm, comforting you. "I know. They'll be on stage soon!" She reassures you with a smile.

You shiver underneath the orange poncho you're wearing as your eyes drift back up to the stage. You squeeze the quokka in your hands, feeling the excess water dripping down your hands.

The announcer calls out 3RACHA's name, causing you to jump slightly. People around you start screaming as a video plays on the blocked television screen.

A smile comes to your lips when you see Jisung on the screen. Your heart pounds against your chest as the Stray Kids anthem begins to play.

You glance down at your friend, seeing her Wolf Chan sitting in front of the lower part of her face. You shake her shoulder in excitement, bringing your gaze back to the stage.

A gasp escapes your list as you can see your friends and boyfriend standing on the side, their gazes settled on the crowd. You quickly turn to your friend, almost yelling into her ear where they're standing so she can see Chan.

"Oh my god," she says loud enough for you to hear.

"I know, I know. There's our boys," you almost cry, feeling the tears begin to well up.

The first song they perform is 3RACHA, a classic for this trio. You keep your eyes trained on Jisung the entire time, waiting for his eyes to meet yours.

You capture multiple pictures and videos of the members, feeling proud that they're here. When they finish their song, they start talking about all the problems in the world and that they need our help to make a difference.

Heyday is the next song, and you bounce in your spot, dancing and singing along to them. Jisung walks over towards where you're standing, and you stand on your toes, trying your best to capture his attention.

"Han Jisung, I love you!" You scream out, waving your skzoo around.

You grin widely as your gaze meets his. He continues to rap his verse, and you watch his boba eyes widen. You swiftly point to your best friend as well, conveying the message to let Chan know.

Jisung finishes his verse, giving you a subtle nod before throwing out a heart. Stays around you scream at his action, causing your heart to flutter.

After 3RACHA's set is over, you and your friend make your way out of the crowd. You can feel your phone vibrating in your pocket, and you fish it out before answering it.

"Hanji, you guys did amazing," you greet him instantly, smiling ear to ear.

"You guys are here?! For real?!" He asks excitingly. A chuckle leaves your lips, and you assure him that you're really here. "Where are you guys? I'll send Skijigi out to get you two."

You stop in your tracks as you stand by the tent that's selling food and water. "Uhm, we're right by the flag that says ultimate VIP and the tent that's selling food and drinks," you inform him, hearing him pass the message on to their manager.

"He's going out there now. It shouldn't be too long until he finds you," Jisung mentions, a quick sigh leaving his lips after. "I can't believe you're here. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, baby. I was getting so impatient waiting for you to perform," you laugh into the phone, tucking some wet hair behind your ears. "Hey, do you by chance have extra clothes?"

You can hear Jisung rummage through his bag as he mumbles incoherently to himself. He lets you know that he indeed does have extra clothes you can change into.

"I see Skijigi! I'll see you in a minute, baby," you mention, tapping your friend's shoulder before heading in his direction.

"Okay, I love you."

You smile fondly. "I love you too."

You bid each other goodbye before you hang up, slipping your phone back into your pocket. Skijigi greets the two of you with a quick hug before leading you to where 3RACHA is.

As soon as you see Jisung, you're sprinting. You weave around people walking, throwing out an apology before colliding into your boyfriend's arms.

"My baby," Jisung whispers into your ear, twirling you around. "You're so beautiful."

You laugh at his compliment, knowing for a fact you look like a hot mess. "Such a charmer, Hanji," you grin, placing your hands on his cheeks.

He leans forward to capture your lips in a quick kiss. "I gotta keep you around somehow," Jisung jokes after pulling away.

You roll your eyes, shaking your head. "You don't even have to try, baby," you confess to him, resting your forehead on his.

"Thank you for coming. I'm so grateful for you," Jisung whispers while setting you back on your feet.

"Of course, baby. I'm your number one 3RACHA supporter," you wink, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

Changbin laughs as he walks by the two of you, shaking his head at how dramatic you both can be. Jisung grins, scrunching his nose slightly. "Yes, you are, my baby."

tagging: @thewxntersoldier @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky @prettymiye0n

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bbyquokka · 1 year ago

Note

In nature of our reader doing hanjis nails and makeup - What if they're is a hairstylist trying out a new look. Which ends up with them tugging on his hair slightly. But our hannie loves having his hair touched a bit too much...👀 Our mans knows what he wants and how to get it

Please feed my delulu nemu BECAUSE BLUESUNG IS BACK 😫

do it again

SUGGESTIVE THEME BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

warning: gn reader, established relationship, idol au, hair pulling, grinding, suggestive content, pet names. words: 0.5k ~ (534)

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

it's comeback season and with comeback season, comes a new hair style and colour. luckily for jisung, you have some experience in dying and styling hair.

sat on a wooden seat thats for the dining table, you mix up the hair dye in a plastic black bowl with a brush. jisung dressing in black Nike sweats and a white vest with a hand towel around his shoulders.

he watches you mix the concoction wondering what colour you have picked out for him.

“ready baby? i think this colour is going to be perfect for you!” you say excitedly.

“wish you would just tell me yn.” jisung whines.

“ah ah ah, it's a surprise! trust me, you will love it darling.” you grab a comb and start combing out any knots in his hair. jisung pouts and huffs softly to which you giggle at.

“be patient, my love.” you laugh as you section out his hair. luckily for you, doing jisung's hair isn't that much of a hassle. he already got a decent amount of length chopped off (much to your displeasure), so dying it won't take long.

you grab the bowl, applying the dye to his hair. silence fills the kitchen, but it's a comfortable silence. jisung browses his phone, texts the members allowing you to do your thing whilst you concentrate on getting an even coverage on his head.

you finish applying the dye and wait for half an hour. once the time is up, you wash it out, blow drying and styling it for him.

“now can i see?!” jisung whines. you laugh softly and nod, handing him a mirror.

“tada!” you cheer. jisung's eyes widen a little as he checks out the new blue hair colour. he runs his fingers through his soft and fluffy hair. “what do you think?”

“fuck babe, i love it! how did you get it to be so soft as well?” jisung asks as he puts the mirror down.

“well–” you run your fingers through his hair slowly, “i used that expensive hair mask that hyunjin bought you.”

jisung hums as you continue running your fingers though his hair. your fingers suddenly get caught in a knot, tugging at his scalp.

“oh! sor–” you stop yourself from talking due to the sudden moan jisung let's out. you look down at him, smirking as he looks up at you and blushes.

you straddle his lap suddenly, jisung swallowing and whimpering. he places his hands on your waist as you run your fingers to the back of his head.

grabbing a fistful of his hair, you pull harshly causing jisung to moan loudly and buck his hips upwards into you. you lick your lips as he starts to slowly pant, clearly getting lost in the high as pleasure courses through his veins.

“oh pretty boy, do you like it when i pull your hair?”

“fuck.. yes.. more please.” he begs. you comply, tugging his hair again and listen to his sweet sweet moans and groans. he buries his head in the crook of your neck, hands gripping your hips and moving them back and forth to encourage you to grind on his hard length.

“do it again. please.”

note: nemu.exe has officially stopped working. i be feeding both of our delulu thots bestie because sAME. this man istg will officially be the death of me 😃😃😃

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @myprwttyhan ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

#alyszaen #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz hard thoughts #stray kids hard thoughts #skz hard hours #stray kids hard hours #han jisung #jisung #jisung smut #han jisung smut #jisung x you #jisung x reader #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

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glassesntea · 6 months ago

Text

Levi and female!reader developing a relationship (Canon Universe)

Part 2/2

How your foolish idealism land you into the Survey Corps

After your guard duty he invited you to a tavern where he has gathered some of your comrades. Sat on a bench with other soldiers you listened to Floch musing about the situation of the island.

"Commander Hanji shows too much trust in these outsiders. She is far too lenient and for what? A technological advancement? As if it can erase a century of being nothing else but meat for Titans."

The others grumbled an agreement. Many in the army were not happy about the government's plan: working with the Marleyans was challenging at best and you were wary about Hizuru's involvement.

Mikasa hadn't said a thing to you regarding her official meeting with Kyomi's delegation, but the somber shadows in her eyes suggested that they weren't the allies you all hoped for. In the end, the island was alone against the world. Pretending otherwise would have been stupid.

Was it really possible at this point to really trust anyone who didn't suffer as the people on the island?

Floch invited you out with his group several other times.

You hung around with them, exchanging the same worries, and it was during one of your convos that you first met Levi Ackerman.

You all were in the mess hall, finishing the supper before the afternoon drill. It seemed that the new recruits would've been training with the infamous Captain of the Survey Corps.

Up to this point you and the others have never met him. Floch and some other soldiers that followed him religiously knew him pretty well.

"He really is that strong?" You asked, and you saw Floch's face produce a tiny grimance "What?" You tilted your head but his expression turned neutral once again.

"He is." He said, drinking from his mug "But not enough, if you want my opinion."

You frowned "What do you mean?"

"I mean that letting your personal feelings play a role in life or death's situations could potentially waste other's sacrifices," he looked at you "and doom everyone else as a result. That's his weakness: he cares far too much. "

"But he effectively guided the soldiers through difficult times. And since he joined the military the percentage of death outside the Walls has decreased a lot. It seems to me that he knows what he's doing and he takes objective decisions."

Floch pressed his lips together, abruptly turning his head to the side "And yet a single foolish decision may have changed everything. And what are we gonna do at this point?"

It seemed something personal, this veiled distate tinged with anger, but you didn't have the time to pry further that a scuffle broke out at your table.

Two boys of your cadet's regiment that participate to Floch's little assemble have started to push one another after shotting up of their seats. You have heard their mumbled conversation getting progressivly more heated while speaking with Floch. One was your friend but the other you couldn't stand him since the training day.

"Oi!" snapped Floch "Quit it, already!"

You stand up, gripping your friend's arm and putting a hand on the other's chest "Stop it, you two, you want a squad leader to put you on stable duty?"

"This moron has the gall to feel pity for fucking Marleyans POW when you Wall Rose people looked down on us when these fuckers brought down Shiganshina. You left us starving in the street!" He pointed at your friend "And now you talk about pity?!"

You lightly pushed him when he tried to come closer "Cut it, Otto. He isn't guilty of what happened then. We shouldn't..."

"Mind your buisness, Y/N! Always getting in the way, alway flaunting your good nature bullshit act as if we don't see how much of a poser you actually are."

You rolled your eyes "Wow, straight for the throat? Tell me something you haven't already said to me in training."

"Gladly." He hissed, ignoring Floch's call for order "You and Franz pretend to be, oh so good, but you know nothing of real suffer. You are nothing more than a Sheena bitch" he shoved you "that grew tired of fucking rich boys and wanted to see misery like it's the next exciting thing before sweeping in and proclaim to have the solution for everything. We are not your fucking playground for you to feel pleased with yourself!" He shoved you harder and Franz shouted and bolted forward just for him to be hitted by a punch.

However you were able to intercept Otto's arm when he retracted it and you twisted your body to slam him on the table, back first.

Otto spranged to his feet, ready to retaliate. Your fist closing, your arm pushed back ready to collide with his smaug face, but someone clasped your wrist thightly and before you knew, Otto was sent tumbling on the floor by a swift kick in the stomach.

You turned around, startled. A short man with a dark undercut, dressed with the old Survey Corp uniform, was looking at Otto weezing in pain. The mess hall was eerily quite.

He lifted his eyes, letting go of your wrist "Care to explain why you three were bawling like lunatics?"

Levi Ackerman. You have seen his portrait on newspapers. He was a legend in the military. And you realized that he must have seen your three make a fool out of yourselves and throwing fists like foolish children.

"I asked you a question."

You composed yourself "My apologize, sir. I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus.”

You looked down at Otto, rolling on the floor and groaning, holding his stomach as if it threatened to spill out. You winced, bringing your eyes again on the Captain’s.

“He… uh… he started to insult me and my comrade. I…”

Levi crossed his arms “And you body slam him onto the table because of it?” He turned to Floch “What did he said?”

Floch was less than thrilled to be dragged into the mess and he shot you a dirty look before answering “He said Wall Sheena’s brats shouldn’t talk about how hard life is since the Fall of Maria.”

It was a pretty sanitized version of the truth, but the core was legitimate. You winced again, fuck I’m such an idiot.

“So you hit him because he badmouthed you,” his voice was dry as a leaf “that’s a pitiful excuse, if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Captain, I…”

“You three are soldiers now, not tugs ready to rip each other apart just because your pride got hurt.” He lowered his stare to the groaning figure “Get up. I fully expect you all to be this lively in today’s training as well.”

He called for everyone in the room “Everyone out. Start with ten laps around the perimeter.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Regarding you three, I hope you don’t mind the smell of horse shit, bacause you will shovel it around for two weeks.” He turned his back to you after your response and you ran outside the mess hall with your cheeks burning in hot shame.

That was humiliating, but served you right for not thinking things through.

Your first meet with Levi went on like this: as a mumbling brutish idiot who kept on smelling manure on the clothes for the following weeks.

To be continued...

#levi ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #aot headcanons #aot imagines #aot spoilers #snk spoilers #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x female reader

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melishade · 2 months ago

Text

Attack on Prime New Age Anthology: Returning Home

Main Story

Released from Quarantine

Reunions

Game Plan

The humans go back to the AOT world.

"Bag?" Jack asked.

"Check!" Miko showed the bag.

"Phone and portable charger?"

"Check!" Miko showed her phone and charger.

"Comm. link?"

"Check!" She pulled back her hair to reveal the ear-piece.

"Water?"

"Check!" she showed the water bottle, "And snacks!"

"Obviously we're strapped." Jack gestured to their bullet proof suits and the guns around their waist.

"Invincible baby!" Miko placed two peace signs in front of her eyes and winked.

"Um, why do we have to where these under our shirts?" Willy asked as he pulled up his shirt to reveal black armor similar to that of Jack and Miko's.

"Even though all of you helped out during the Rumbling, there's probably not going to be a lot of people who see it that way and might want to kill you," Rafael explained as he put on his lab coat, "Those are bullet proof vests designed from very advanced materials, so it should protect against something as simple as a pistol or rifle from your world."

"It feels a little uncomfortable," Kenshin confessed.

"You'll get used to it," Rafael reassured, "A lot of bullet proof vests open to the public are very thick and heavy. These are supposed to be thinner and flexible so it won't be noticed by the average person."

"I like it!" Sasha declared.

"Thanks, Sasha," Rafael said to her.

"Bummed that I don't get one," Jean commented as he wheeled up to everyone else.

"Are you sure he can't come with us?" Armin asked Jack.

"It's better if he stays behind and focuses on his recovery," Jack answered, "Raf will be making you a new leg, and you'll have to learn how to walk again, but once you're able to make a full recovery, you can come and help out. Just reach out to Agent Fowler or my mom."

"Thanks," Jean said.

"Dude, Fowler's your stepdad." Miko placed an arm over his shoulder, "You don't have to be formal like-!"

"Let's go to the Nemesis!" Jack shouted before walking away, his face red with embarrassment.

"Fowler's his stepdad?" Onyankopon asked in surprise while Miko was snickering.

"Yeah, Jack's got some hiccups about it still. I don't know why," Rafael sighed.

"Bye Jean." Sasha kneeled down and hugged him, "We'll make sure to find Mikasa."

"I hope so," Jean whispered as he let Sasha go. Jean and Rafael continued to wave goodbye to the others as they walked out of Unit E to the sight of a military base in the desert.

"I do hope that my family will be taken care of here," Willy commented.

"They'll be fine." Miko shrugged.

"Hanji's probably upset that they won't be able to join us," Onyankopon added.

"They broke out of quarantine, so they gotta pay the price for it," Jack declared as he finished typing away on his phone. He locked the screen and put the device away in his bag before the spacebridge opened up in front of all of them.

"...Just looking at it is making me nauseous," Kenshin declared.

"Yeah, it would have been better to start you guys off with a groundbridge, but groundbridges only go so far," Jack explained before beckoning them forward, "Let's go!"

Everyone followed Jack through the spacebridge. They ignored the headaches and nausea that they were feeling as they made it safely to the other side, right on top of the Nemesis. The humans were taken aback by the soldiers and medical professionals still running around trying to provide food, water, and medical aid to these people. However Jack and Miko remained unfazed.

"How mad do you think Buckethead is having all the humans on his old ship?" Miko grinned at Jack.

"I genuinely don't know anymore," Jack confessed as he and the others walked forward into the hallway.

"I'm sorry, this belonged to Megatron?" Willy ran up to Jack to ask the question.

"Yep, the Decepticon Warship," Jack explained, "The Autobots had a base in Jasper, Nevada while Megatron had this thing flying around the planet and into space."

"It's so...dreary," Willy commented.

"Yeah, well the Decepticons were all about 'Death, Destruction, Mayhem!'" Miko shouted, scaring a few of the people, "Might as well match the aesthetic."

"It's a poor design choice," Kenshin proclaimed, causing Miko to laugh.

"How many Decepticons lived on this ship?" Armin couldn't help but ask.

"We never really got a head count, but we are friends with a lot of them now," Jack explained.

"I'm sorry, friends?" Onyankopon asked in surprise.

"STEVE! SKARMORY!" Miko waved in delight at the two titans slowly walking down the hall to avoid the humans. The other humans couldn't help but notice the similarities between the two, like their build and faces and claws. However, one of them had wheels in their shoulders and was purple, while the other was silver and had the wings of a plane.

"Miko, help!" The purple one begged.

"Alright everyone move it! Let the titans pass!" She shouted as she ran towards them.

"You're friends with former Decepticons?" Sasha asked in surprise, "I thought you guys hated them."

"There were a lot of Decepticons that were victims of war and Megatron, and really doing what they could to survive," Jack explained as they walked towards the two titans, "Some vehicons like them were in terrible positions before they joined up with Megatron. Didn't really have much of a choice in what they wanted before the war and during it. It's an Autobot driven Cybertron, but the council has been doing their best to provide fair and balanced views for both Autobots and Decepticons. They were trying to honor Optimus' wishes for peace."

"Alright, pathway's clear!" Miko gestured to the hallway.

"Thanks," The purple one said, "All of these humans are...new."

"They're gross," The silver one declared.

"Hey, be nice, Skarmory!" Miko scolded him.

"Look, I can handle two, maybe three humans, not this!" Skarmory declared, "It's like watching what you humans called ants crawling everywhere."

"I am a feisty ant and I do bite!" Sasha raised her hand.

"This is Steve." Jack pointed to the purple one who happily waved 'hello', "And Skarmory." The silver one reluctantly waved 'hello'. All the other humans nervously waved at them.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought you guys cleared your tasks months ago and were off the hook for war crimes," Miko asked as them.

"There are a few other vehicons that need their crimes cleared and the council thought it was a good idea to have two 'outstanding vehicons'." Skarmory put the word into air quotes, "Help serve as an example and keep the vehicons motivated."

"I mean...it's nice to do some honest work and not get blasted at," Steve shrugged.

"I would prefer the mines over this!" Skarmory yelled.

"Do you guys happen to know where Ratchet and Ultra Magnus are?" Jack asked.

"Ratchet's back on Cybertron," Steve explained, "Ultra Magnus is in the deck of the ship with Wheeljack and Bulkhead-!"

"OOOO! Let's see them first! I haven't seen Wheeljack in three years!" Miko exclaimed.

"To the deck!" Steve pointed forward.

Willy couldn't help but feel out of place as the titans and the two humans continued their conversation. The 104th and Onyankopon didn't seem bothered by their environment, or the two titans talking like regular people. Even Kenshin was accepting of the scene before him. This new world was so chaotic, something he never even dreamed of. Willy snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the door open and was met with the sight of the control room of the ship that he was one just a month ago. He saw those familiar titans: Ultra Magnus, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack typing away and driving the ship, along with a few more of these 'vehicons'.

"WHEELJACK!" Miko screamed causing Wheeljack to snap his helm towards her.

"MIKO!" the Wrecker grinned as Miko bolted towards him. He kneeled down and the agent hugged his arm.

"Dude! You're okay!" Miko smiled as she let him go.

"Yeah, my injuries weren't too bad compared to 'Cee's," Wheeljack explained, "And look at you. You traded your Wrecker outfit for a boring uniform."

"Oh c'mon! Don't give me that! The U.S. military is strict! And I was forced to remove the pink in my hair! This!" Miko gestured to her half-shaven head, "Is the best defiance I can get right now!"

Wheeljack snickered in response before turning his attention to the 104th. He was surprised to see them as he walked over to them and kneeled down.

"You guys are okay." Wheeljack sighed with relief.

"...most of us are," Sasha mumbled.

"Yeah, I heard...I'm sorry," Wheeljack apologized.

Sasha took a deep breath to hide her tears before nodding.

"Where are the others?" Wheeljack asked.

"Still on Earth," Armin explained, "Levi and Jean are still in the hospital, Erwin is watching over the both of them and Hanji has to stay on Earth for longer because they broke out of quarantine."

"Heh. Nice." Wheeljack smirked.

"That behavior should not be encouraged," Ultra Magnus warned as he walked up to the humans. He then turned his attention to the two vehicons, "Can the two of you man the ship?"

"Yes, sir." Steve went to take over Ultra Magnus' post while Skarmory reluctantly took over Wheeljack's post.

"I apologize for the chaos before you," Ultra Magnus said, "Your world's apocalyptic events has left many locations in shambles. We are doing our best to rectify the problem."

"Are there any world leaders that you have found that as still alive, sir? People I can get into contact with?" Willy asked.

"I assume that you are Willy Tybur," Ultra Magnus addressed.

"Yes, and this is Kenshin Tenno: the new emperor-!"

"I have no idea if I'm the ruler of anything," Kenshin cut him off.

"Your name is Tenno?" Ultra Magnus asked him.

"Yes, why?" Kenshin pressed.

"We do have some world leaders that we've come into contact with, only one of them has been willing to really speak to us. A woman under the name of Kiyomi Azumabito," Ultra Magnus explained.

Kenshin gasped and covered his mouth while the 104th snapped their heads to Ultra Magnus in shock.

"Kiyomi? She's still alive?!" Historia exclaimed.

"You are familiar with her?" Ultra Magnus asked them.

"We were becoming allies with Hizuru through her," Armin explained, "But the fact that she's alive...she must've stayed on the island during the Rumbling and left once it was over."

"We can ask her about Paradis!" Sasha exclaimed.

"Where is my aunt?!" Kenshin demanded.

"I understand your urgency, but we still need to speak with Arcee and bring-!"

The door opened once again, and everyone turned to see Arcee standing there, looking alive and healthy. Next to her pedes were Annie and-!

"Ymir!" Historia ran towards her.

"Histori-Hmp!" Historia kissed Ymir dead on the lips before Ymir picked her up and spun her around.

"Uh...."

"Say a word and I hit you," Miko warned Willy.

"...Hey," Armin addressed Annie. Annie turned her attention to Armin and was genuinely relieved to see him alive.

"Hey." Annie couldn't help but smile.

"...you two good?" Jack asked them with a raise eyebrow.

"Yeah, we're fine." Armin regained his composure with Annie coughed into her hand. Armin; however, noticed that there was a cut on Annie's thumb that didn't heal, "Your finger!"

Annie looked down at the cut on her thumb and smiled a little. "Yeah...the power of the titans is officially gone. We're just ordinary people."

"Really?" Historia looked at Ymir with a smile on her face.

"Yeah," Ymir nodded.

"It's gone? The Eldians...are free?" Willy asked in surprise.

"Okay! Happy! Fine! My aunt! Let's go!" Kenshin interjected.

"Hey, Kenshin, calm down," Jack told him.

"My aunt is alive! I need to get to her!" Kenshin yelled at him.

"Bulkhead, come with us to help with construction!" Ultra Magnus ordered the Wrecker.

"You sure?" Bulkhead turned to look at his Commander.

"The vehicons can keep the ship in the sky. The humans on the ground need some assistance," Ultra Magnus declared.

"Alright, you guys got this." Bulkhead stepped away from the console and waved to the vehicons.

"Bye Bulkhead!" Steve waved goodbye as the Autobots and the humans left the main deck and continued down the hall. Wheeljack picked up Miko and placed her on her shoulder, letting the girl excitedly ramble on about what had been happening since he was gone. Jack couldn't help but smile at that before turning his attention to Arcee. He was going to speak to her to say hi after all this time, but the Autobot had turned her attention to Sasha.

"I heard about what happened. How are you feeling?" She asked her.

"...I still feel like I want to drown," Sasha admitted in a hushed tone, "And I'm just trying to hide it."

"It'll feel like that for a while, but it'll pass and you'll be able to accept it," Arcee reassured, "I promise."

Jack noticed the way that Sasha smiled at her sadly and decided to withhold his conversation for another time. Meanwhile, Armin couldn't help but notice the way that Jack stared at Arcee and Sasha, but decided to refrain from saying anything. He then noticed a shiny, red, titan walking down the hall, typing away on a datapad in his servo. Armin saw him open a door as they passed the room, and he gasped at the sight of Megatron lying down on the berth. He had lost his left arm and there was a tube connected to his chest. His right arm and legs were cuffed to the berth, and his optics were shut, clearly not awake for any of this.

Armin was about to step inside the room, but someone grabbed his wrist before the door shut. Armin snapped his head back, but froze when he saw Jack staring at him in warning. He shook his head silently, but didn't let go of him. Armin stared at the hand holding him and took a deep breath before calming down, allowing Jack to let go of him before they continued following Ultra Magnus.

Ultra Magnus opened the door to a room filled with metal cubes. He sent a silent message to the vehicons, and the humans gasped at the sight of the floor opening up to reveal the ground so far below. A yellow tube then appeared and shot down towards the ground below before a yellow platform appeared directly in front of them.

"Step on. This will take us to the ground." Ultra Magnus stepped onto the platform.

The Autobots stepped onto the platform with ease while the rest of the humans were hesitant at the idea. Jack was the first to step on before offering his hand to them. Armin took a deep breath before stepping forward and taking Jack's hand. Jack pulled him onto the platform, and Armin couldn't help but sigh with relief at the feeling of stability. The other humans slowly followed and stood on the platform. They jolted when the platform moved and went down the yellow tube. The closer they got to the ground, the more that Armin could see. He saw a refugee camp, damaged buildings, people on the ground providing food and clothes, the large footprints caused by the Colossal Titans.

They...they were home.

Kenshin peered down the elevator to try and spot Kiyomi on the ground. But he couldn't tell with this many people in one location. It was like looking at Kyoto through the top of the palace. The lower they descended the clearer their faces got, and Kenshin gasped at the sight of a familiar woman with two tall guards standing in front of the yellow tube. The platform hit the ground and the yellow energy disappeared, allowing Ultra Magnus and the Autobots to step off.

"Ultra Magnus," Kiyomi greeted the titan.

"Azumabito," he replied in kind.

"You've returned earlier than I anticipated. I hope it's some good-!" Kiyomi's words died in her throat when she saw Kenshin push his way past the other humans, "K-!...Kenshin?"

"Auntie!" Kenshin cried as he nearly tripped over the metal running forward. Kiyomi broke face as she embraced her nephew, sobbing into his shoulder.

"Huh, that's probably why you didn't give him scrap," Wheeljack whispered to Ultra Magnus.

"Many have been traumatized by these events," Ultra Magnus reasoned, "Pulling ranks is insulting for something like this. They are not even soldiers. They're civilians."

"What are you doing here?! How did you even get here?!" Kenshin released his aunt, "I thought you were somewhere else! I-!"

"I made a call to stay on Paradis when I heard the political turmoil on the island, I didn't realize that Eren had enacted the Rumbling! And I was afraid to sail into the waters while the Colossal Titans were in there!" Kiyomi explained, "I'm sorry, but I had to wait until the Rumbling was far enough to sail across the water! There was so much damage I didn't know where to stop!"

"Mom and dad!" Kenshin was wrecked by sobs, "Abba and Amma are gone!"

"I know." Kiyomi nodded solemnly before grabbing his face, "I know Kenshin, but you are alive! You are alive and that what's they wanted more than anything!"

Kiyomi embraced Kenshin as the two continued to cry in sorrow and happiness. As they continued to grieve, Armin realized something. It sounded like Kiyomi didn't reach Hizuru. Or maybe she avoided it. She struggled to find a place to land...but...she somehow knew that Taisho and Katsuko were dead? That didn't make sense. How did she hear that information?

"Ambassador," Armin spoke up as he approached them. Kiyomi looked up at him a little annoyed and wanting to focus on her nephew.

"How did you know about the Emperor and Empress' death?" Armin asked. "Did someone from Hizuru tell you?"

Kiyomi thought it over before reluctantly shaking her head. "No...Mikasa told me."

Armin's mouth dropped at that.

"Right before she asked me to take her back to Paradis," Kiyomi explained.

"Mikasa's on Paradis?!" Sasha exclaimed, "How did you even find her?!"

"I ran into her by chance...and she told me everything," Kiyomi explained, "I offered her a boat ride back to Paradis before coming back here and meeting Ultra Magnus for the first time."

"That's good," Jack chimed in, "We don't have to search the whole world for her. She's alive and she's on Paradis."

"Can we please see her?!" Armin asked Jack, "Please!"

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Kiyomi wiped her tears, "When I found her...the poor girl looked so miserable. She...she felt so guilty about..." She turned her attention to the nephew crying in her arms and hugged him tighter.

Jack sighed. "Look, Armin, she's on Paradis. Meaning we can try to find her while checking on the political state of the island."

"I also need to check on my father and make sure he's alright," Annie informed.

"If you know where he is, then we can check on him first," Jack reasoned.

"As of right now, we have brought him and the Tybur." Ultra Magnus gestured to Willy as he stepped forward.

"Willy," Kiyomi greeted with a neutral expression, "...I heard about your sister...I'm sorry."

"No need for apologies," Willy insisted.

"The Tybur will serve as an ambassador to help mitigate tensions between titan and human," Ultra Magnus declared.

"I understand." Kiyomi let Kenshin go as he continued to wipe his tears, "I will help you get into contact with them."

Armin wanted to protest but everyone was already moving along and following Kiyomi. He looked back up to the ship, wondering how Megatron even was before sighing in defeat. Addressing the effects of the Rumbling mattered more. He had to help. Armin followed the others behind without another word; however, his thoughts were screaming at him.

Where on the island was Mikasa? And was she alright?

(So a lot going on. The humans are back on the AOT world. A few cameos from my AUs. We finally know where Mikasa is! Now, there's still two more parts to the anthology and after that, and then I will be working on the next chapter! Next part of the anthology will be going back to Cybertron for a moment!)

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daddysfangirls-anime · 2 years ago

Text

Oh Captain

Pairing: Levi x fem! reader

Warning: Smut, spanking, Captain Kink,

Summary: Captain gets busy with (y/n) in his office, so busy in fact, they didn’t even notice Eren walk in.

“ Hi, Captain,” (y/n) said as she stood in front of Levi’s desk “Hello (l/n), take a seat “This was the norm she came to his office every night a little after dinner. They were together every night times they’d talk, sometime they’d cuddle, and sometimes they‘d do other things. Tonight they were doing other things.

It happen when she was still in training Levi had come with Erwin to look at some of the recruits she happened to be amongst the few he saw. He and Erwin both took a liking to her later on, she joined Levi’s squad, and she was 15 at the time. Joining his squad Levi and (y/n) got close really close by the age of 17 on her birthday, and she started a secret relationship with him.

The first one to notice any change between the two was Erwin. He noticed that (y/n) missed training a lot. And one day, he asked about it, “Where’s (y/n) haven’t seen her in a while?” and Levi casually answered, “Tied her to my bed” Thinking it was a joke, Erwin laughed, Levi looked up and raised an eyebrow “Oh your, you're not joking” “she in my room if you want to check.” And that’s how Erwin found out luckily for the two, he didn’t tell anyone about them, nor did he interfere as it did not interfere with their work.

No one else knew, and they were okay with that.

Finishing his paperwork, Levi put it away, clearing his desk, then, with his index finger, motioned her over. Walking over, she straddled his hips “And how was your day?” Levi asked as he traced patterns over her skin, slowly removing her straps

“Well, today I was on kitchen duty, so I helped with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I help Hanji with experimenting with Eren today, basically keeping him alive. And did some combat training with him as well.”(y/n) continued to go on and on about her day as Levi pulled off her straps and jacket.

“That doesn’t sound fun,” he said as he slowly unbuttoned her shirt and opened it up.

He kissed her breast as (y/n) began to stutter, “A-and then … w-we… oh Captain more please” She began to moan. Levi leaned back in his seat as (y/n) straddled him panting and waiting for him to do more.

“tell me more about your day,” Levi says with a smirk (y/n) whimpers and leans forwards

“it was really boring. Why’d you stop? Please keep going,” (y/n) said as she took his hands and placed them on her breast. She began to desperately grind against him and squeeze and move his hands on her beast. “desperate aren’t we,” Levi said, giving her breast a rough squeeze. He rounds his hands to her back and unclips her bra in one swift move, he removes her shirt and bra. ”you really want this, don’t you”

“yes, Captain, I really do” Levi listened to her moans as he tugged at her nipples and massaged her breast. (y/n) whimpered as she felt him take one of her nipples in his mouth. He sucked her nipples like she was a mother giving milk he sucked her until it hurt, and she was pushing him away. “Captain, please” he released her nipple and took it in between his finger and thumb, tugging as she whimpered and gripped her wrist.

“ I thought you wanted this. You were begging for it” Levi unbuttoned and slipped his other hand into her pants “See, you’re wet, you’re so fucking wet”.

Levi began to rub her through her panties, and she moaned as she kissed him. “Fuck me, “ she whispered against his lips. Immediately Levi removed his hands from her breast and pants, standing up, then turned her around and slammed her onto the desk chest first, pulling her pants and panties down to her knees, he growled, “Language.”

(y/n) cried out as she felt her ass sting she arched her back, wanting more. “look at you just begging for it. You want to be punished, you want to be naughty. You. Are. A. Bad. Girl,” Levi spanked her with every word

“Oh, Captain,” she moaned. Levi took a step back and fell into his seat he sat back and admired her swollen pussy and her wetness that dripped down her legs. Leaning forward, Levi slapped her pussy she flinched and whimpered. He did it again and again and again if she was wet before she was drenched down.

Levi leaned forward, spreading her pussy lips “So beautiful,” he whispered, leaning licking her pussy. (y/n) moaned as she pushed back on his mouth. He Stands up, removing her pants the rest of the way (y/n) whimpers as she hears his belt buckle. Levi takes both of her hands and pins them behind her back

(y/n) feels his cock slap against her pussy “Are you going to be a good girl?”

“yes “

“Are you going to listen to me?”

“yes, sir”

“NO,” he slaps her roughly, “what do you call me?”

“Captain,” she moans

“good girl, You’re going to be good for Captain, aren’t you?”

“yes, Captain, yes,” she pushed back on his cock Levi pulled away

“Greedy girl, aren’t you. Fine, have it”

And with that, Levi slammed into her. He was so fucking big. (y/n) never got used to the feeling of Levi inside of her she always had to take a few minutes to adjust to his overly large cock. She screamed and hoped nobody heard her. God, that would be embarrassing.

Levi lifts her left leg up on the desk and slams into her. (y/n) eyes rolled to the back of her head, and just like that, she came on his cock. “Damn, you came just like that, am I that good?” Levi smirks, his ego rising as he feels her clenching around him like crazy.

“so good, Captain, so good“

Levi pulls out, then slams back into her rough she screams he continues to thrust into her like crazy desk and begins to shake. The sound of skin slapping skin and heavy breathing and moans filled the room. (y/n) knew in the morning, she would be severely bruised.

The two were so busy with each other that they didn’t hear the door open they didn’t they did see what was at the door. But then again, if they did, would they stop?

At the door stood a very shocked Eren Jaeger he stood had the door, and he couldn’t move it was like his legs forgot how to work. He just stood there and watched as Levi Captain pounded into his friend like no tomorrow.

(Y/N) finally, notice Eren, As she came again, her eyes snapped open, and she made direct eye contact with him before closing her eyes again and falling into the bliss pleasure of her release.

Eren was pulled back to the reality of the situation as he was pulled out of the office looking up and coming out of his daze, he saw Commander Erwin softly shutting the door. “those two need to learn how to lock the door and be quieter” he said as he turned to Eren “I‘m sorry you had to see that. They were probably so busy with each other that they didn’t see you. So no reason to be embarrassed.” Erwin places a hand on his shoulder “You aren’t the first to walk in on them. They’re wild. You should get some rest Good night Jaeger”

And with that, Commander Erwin was gone, and Eren slowly trailed to his room, trying to forget what he saw.

(y/n) could have sworn she saw someone stand at the door, but as she laid back against Levi’s chest in his chair with his cock still inside her, she didn’t care.

“you saw him too, didn’t you, Jaeger at the door,” Levi asked

“yeah, you think he‘s going to talk“

“Nah, saw Erwin pull him out we’re good“ Levi nuzzled into her neck and wrapped his arms around her naked waist. “we sure did give him a show, didn’t we“ (y/n) giggled at Levi.

“Captain?”

“ yeah?”

“I love you,” (y/n) kissed his cheek and ran a hand through his he looked at her for a few moments“It's good to know the feeling is mutual,” and she smiled because this was the best she was going to get from him.

As she giggled, she clenched and moved in his lap Levi groaned and held her hips down. (y/n) felt him get hard inside her again.

“look what you did now we’ve got to go for round two,” (y/n) giggled

“of course, Captain”

#AoT #aot fanfiction #snk anime #snk fanfiction #snk #fanfiction #Levi fanfiction #levi smut #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #levi x reader smut #Smut #anime

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xhllvx · 5 months ago

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Alright .. How about a Rivetra World War II AU where Levi is a Cpt. in the Air Force & Petra is a nurse assigned to one of the Clearing Stations alongside Dr. Hange Zoe 😀 ..

Levi is severely injured when his plane is shot down during an ambush attack .. Leading him to lose two fingers & sustaining a leg injury .. He is taken to the Clearing Station where he encounters Dr. Zoe & Nurse Ral .. And in typical Levi fashion is rude towards both of them due to the agitation that stems from simply being in a medical facility ( Especially since it ain't one of the most sanitary environments ) ..

This leads to a rocky start between him & Petra .. Especially since Levi is prone to complaining about EVERYTHING .. This often gets on Petra's nerves & riles her up .. Tho she reigns in her anger most of the time for the sake of being polite .. She still throws sassy jabs of her own when he's particularly hard to deal with ( And he'll die before he admits it .. But Levi finds it to be low-key HOT 😏 ) ..

Hanji just lets most of his snarky remarks slide & is prone to throw in some teasing of their own .. Especially with the way they've seen him regard Petra & Often jokes that he probably doesn't get around much .. Levi just shoots her lethal glare ..

Yup .. Things between them stay strained until one night when Levi's out trying to practice walking with his newly recovered leg .. He comes across Petra nearly getting SA'd by one of the injured soldiers she was treating .. Levi feels his blood boiling as he charges forward & punches the guy hard enough to knock him out ..

Tho .. This leads to Petra getting mad at him for moving around with an injured leg & cuz his help was unnecessary in the first place as she had a bunch of sedatives stocked up in her pocket for emergencies like these ( Levi is low-key horrified when he learns this ) ..

Petra aids him in walking back inside the infirmary & when they reach his bed she angrily lectures him again about moving around with an injured leg like that ..

Tho when she's about to leave .. she quietly mumbles that while she could have handled it herself .. " Thank U " .. & if he is that desperate to move around then to just call her so she can help him with it instead of going for it alone ..

When she left .. Levi felt his face shift in an unfamiliar way & found that he couldn't stop smiling .. That night marked the initial shift in their bond ..

After the incident .. Petra was relatively softer around Levi .. Occasionally engaging in friendly conversations with him & even aiding him in walking when he felt the need to do it .. Levi is slightly thrown off by this change as he was only used to a partially aggressive side of her before .. But still welcomes it nonetheless ..

AAANNDD CUE THE SEXUAL TENSION !! 😆 💞

All of which goes unresolved as Levi is called back to the war zone as soon as he finishes recovery .. And while they both acknowledge their growing mutual attraction for the other .. Neither of them had the guts to make a move on the other & it was complicated enough with their responsibilities & the ongoing war 😔 ..

On Levi's departure day .. Their last goodbye was along the lines of ..

P : " You better see this through till the end .. You hear me !! "

L : " Back at ya Red .. See ya around .. "

I saw a post where @infinitify & a few others were talking about Petra as a nurse .. And I couldn't get a World War II AU out of my mind 😫 .. Anyone feel like adding anything to this AU .. GO AHEAD !! ❣️Brainstorming AU ideas ain't exactly my forte .. Might consider drawing this AU one day ..

#aot #levi ackerman #petra ral #hanji zoe #rivetra #levi x petra #ww2 au

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mikasa-imadebiscults · 2 years ago

Text

“As Many Times I Want..”

100 Followers Event: Day 3/31

DOM! Hanji Zöe x Fem! Reader

(Warning: Modern AU!, Smut, grinding, a big ass strap-on, fingering, and Hanji being Hanji)

(Scenario-“How many times are you gonna make me cum?” “As many times I want, sweetheart.”)

You and Hanji met in a University the both of you took similar classes. You got to know more about them and after being friends for a few months you got together. A few years passed, you two had graduated and Hanji now works as a Professor at the same University you guys went to. Today was a long day for Hanji, nothing bad happened it’s just the day was exhausting. After the school day was finished, Hanji texted you saying that they will be staying in their classroom for a couple hours to do some paperwork. You knew well that they were going to overwork themselves again so you decided to go to their classroom. You got your purse and left your shared home, you drove to the university and went to their classroom, you already knew where their classroom was because you’ve been there before to help them with their work. You didn’t even bother knocking and just slightly opened the door only to see Hanji at their desk rubbing their head, clearly frustrated. You walked into the room and Hanji turns to look at you, “O-Oh, I didn’t know you were coming.” Hanji said, “I came because I knew that you were gonna overwork yourself.” You said, placing your purse on their desk and then climbing on their lap and positioning yourself so that you had your legs around their waist. Hanji softly groaned as you were grinding on their pussy but Hanji is not having it today. They move the scattered paperwork to the side and placed you on her desk, with your legs spread. They looked you in the eyes, “Do I have your permission?” Hanji says, asking for consent. You nod your head and Hanji starts kissing your lips, their hands making their way up your shirt to rub your breast. You let out a muffled moaned into their mouth, one of their hands left your breast to go to your pussy. Without warning they shoved two fingers in, you moaned, Hanji pulled their face away to get some air, “You’re gonna have to be quiet, as much as I love the sounds you make, I want to be the only one to hear them.” Hanji says, pumping their fingers in and out at a faster rate. They continued to kiss you as you got close, finally you came all over their fingers. Hanji pulls away and gives you a soft smile, they then notice something poking out of your purse, they pick up it up to look inside it and to their surprise they saw a big pink strap-on. “Oh my, were you planning to use this on me?” They pulled the strap out so that you could see it, “I-I uhh- well I thought you would like it becau-” Hanji stops you with a kiss on the lips, “Shush now I’ve heard enough.” They take off your pants and underwear and tosses it to the side, “Lay down and relax Princess, I’ll take care of you.” Hanji says as you laid down and spread your legs even more apart. They slowly put on the strap to make you wait a bit, and then they grabbed your hips and slowly puts the strap inside you to make sure you don’t get hurt. They begin to move slowly for a bit until you got used to it, then they moved to a faster pace. In no time you came, but Hanji wasn’t stopping there, they just continued to move in and out in a even faster and rougher way making you cum and cum. You were certainly not used to this, they usually took things slow in order to take notes about what you like and dislike, your different reactions to different sex toys, etc. By now it’s been a while since you’ve got to the classroom it’s probably been about thirty minutes or so and Hanji showed no sign of stopping. “Ahh~ w-wait Han- ahh~, h-how many times you g-gonna make me c-cum?” You said barely forming a sentence, “As many times as I want, sweetheart.” As soon as Hanji said that you came in a instant and you thought to yourself that it’s going to be a long, long evening.

Hanji can certainly take some notes on me 😏

Masterlist

In the Masterlist there’s a link to make requests :)

#AHH- HANJI-#attack on titan #aot x female reader #aot x reader #aot x y/n #attack on titan x reader #aot smut #aot scenarios #aot hanji #aot hange #snk hange #snk hanji #hange zoë #hanji zoe #hange x reader #hanji x reader

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run2yew · 2 years ago

Text

Frustrated.

Pairing: Han Jisung /Female reader

Genre: romance, suggestive, smut (minors dni), best friends to lovers au

Word count: 5.9k

Warnings: swearing, oral (male rec), making out, semi public (??)

Summary: "You want me to help?."

"I told you, you don't have to. I'll figure something out."

"No, like, right now. Do you want me to help?"

He stops, batting his eyelashes in shock.

"What the fuck are you talking about?."

You shouldn't do this, but right now, you're not sure if you're thinking with your brain at all. And that's probably why you get on your knees, spinning his chair to face you. Your face leveling with his core.

✵

hanji <3: come pick me up im scared

you: did I ask?

hanji <3: do you HAVE to be mean w me even when im struggling :((?

you: yes, and you like it

you: what happened to my favorite brat?

hanji <3: you know what time I got here? 6AM

hanji <3: my last meal was LUNCH

hanji <3: it's MIDNIGHT AND NO DINNER YET

hanji <3: im so fucking hungry and tired I might go insane

you: are you trying to die??

you: seriously, just tell me and I'll do it for you, no need to starve!!!

hanji <3: very funny

hanji <3: we can't go out to eat rn and I don't wanna eat the company food 😭

hanji <3: stupid changbin with his stupid pork craving now I want pork :/

you: im sorry, wish I could do something to help :((

hanji <3: you're bearing me, that's nice

hanji <3: plus, it's not like you could bring me food or anything lol

you: yeah

you: you'll be fine though, we'll have pork on the weekend, I'll pay!

✵

"What are you doing here?." Jisung asks, suddenly getting up from where he was sitting. His brows arching as he blinked slowly in your direction, although you didn't miss the way his lips curled up slightly.

"I bought food." You simply put, leveling the food bags with your face and beaming before closing the door behind you.

You turn back to meet his eyes again, bowing to his friends in the process.

It was late, and you couldn't help but feel bad when Jisung texted you. Admitting he was exhausted, rambling about how he couldn't stop to get some food and how the song was turning out great but they couldn't risk cutting the flow.

Jisung and the guys are hardworking, and even though you appreciate their art, it's not fair to their own bodies to ignore what they're feeling.

So you had a brilliant idea: randomly showing up with food.

It was a bold move, of course, but if you wanted to do something nice for him you'd have to go for it. He'd do the same for you.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, I just..." Your eyes shift to the smiling ChangBin lazily placed on the studio couch, legs thrown over a chair relaxedly, leaning in like he wants you to keep talking.

"Jisung told me you guys were hungry and tired, so you know...couldn't fix the tired. The hungry was the next thing on my list." You chuckle nervously, finishing with a shrug.

"Please, you're not interrupting us, you're doing us a favor" Changbin points as he straightens his back on the couch, restraining his legs from where they were placed.

"An amazing favor, actually. Thank you." Chan adds, eyes softening, and you can't help but give him a smile back, which he gladly returns with a small wink that makes you chuckle.

"Don't worry though, I'm just going to drop this off and go back. I don't mean to bother, just wanted to help."

Chan immediately stands up, vigorously shaking his head in denial, reaching for your hands as he takes the bags from you and puts them on the small coffee table in front of him. "No, no, no, no, no. Come on, you're staying and eating with us!."

"Chan, it's fine, really. I don't want to come in between your creative process. I'm already doing too much by having this conversation." You insist.

"Stay." Jisung's voice is assertive, a bit demanding even, and it echoes as the room grows silent, that's when you realize the effect that the acoustics of the place have on your conversation, and it's also when you realize he hasn't said a word this whole time.

"I can't just let you leave like that," He continues, crossing his arms in front of his chest and taking another step forward to meet you. "Eat with us and chill for a bit."

"The whole point of me coming here was to not interrupt-"

"You're staying. End of story" He states, waving his index finger warningly, "And you're eating."

You try to protest, whining in response, but you have no luck convincing him. He grabs you by the shoulders and guides you to the empty seat next to Changbin on the couch, plopping you there and mumbling a small "sit" when you try to get back up.

What are you? A dog?.

"So, what did you get?." The guy next to you asks, leaning forward, trying make out what was inside the bag, but by the way he was smiling, you assumed he already knew.

"Samgyeopsal."

Changbin lets out a yelp, quickly shifting in his seat to face you, you can sense his mood lifting as he smiles so brightly it reaches his eyes, almost jumping from the words you said. Jisung was right, the man really loved food.

"You're joking..." He shakily trails off.

"Nope," you chuckle. "You were craving it. It'd be mean not to get it."

"Oh my God Sungie! I Iove you, I love you, I love you." Changbin sing-songs, standing up to chase the younger boy that fails to escape from his embrace, rolling his eyes at the display of affection.

"And you," he reaches out his hand for a high five that you happily return, "Thank you. I'm sure we'll be great friends."

I'm sure we will." You try your best to sound nonchalant, nodding before deciding to open up for a hug. Sensing that's what he wanted to do in the first place, Changbin gladly takes the request and wraps you in his - insanely strong?- embrace.

When you try to pull away, he spins you, lifts you up and adds another "Thank you.", Your attempt to break free with is unless, laughing until Chan pulls you away from him.

Gosh, it was hard to keep a neutral expression around these guys, pretty soon your cheeks were going to hurt from smiling so much, but you couldn't help it, how are you supposed to keep it together?.

You turn to face Jisung to tell him to eat, only to be met with his eyes already on you, his expression completely neutral, his arms still crossed. You wonder if something's wrong.

You give him an upside down smile, squinting your nose playfully, which he returns with a roll of the eyes, followed by a small chuckle.

He's probably just tired.

"You guys should eat before it gets cold." You say.

Chan nods, opening the bags and placing the food on the table, organizing everything however he felt like it. Jisung offered to help, and while he organized the cups on the table, you started taking in his presence.

Jisung looked different today, but you couldn't quite place exactly what had changed in the last two weeks since you last saw him. You wonder if it's the hair, parted in the middle, falling on his eyes every now and then. But when he rolls up the sleeves of his black hoodie, exposing his strong arms and veiny hands, causing you to gulp, you realize that's probably not it.

Doesn't matter.

Lost in your thoughts, you don't feel a small plate being placed on your legs by your best friend, you also don't realize you've been spacing out until a gentle squeeze is delivered to your knee.

Jisung stands by your side, completely oblivious to where your mind was wandering, as he hands you chopsticks.

He takes a second to push his hair out of his face, a failed attempt since little strands fall back onto his eyes.

His hair's really long.

And it looks really soft.

Regardless, you force yourself to look at him in the eyes, too afraid he'd catch what you were thinking if you didn't.

"Thanks Ji."

He chuckles, nudging your shoulder lightly, "Always."

You breathe out, hyperfocusing on the way his eyes stay on yours for just a bit longer than usual.

Shit.

What the fuck is going on?

"My God, this food is hitting, I feel like I'm going to ascend to heaven." Changbin whines contentedly, pushing your attention away from your inner conflict.

Chan, who's now sitting by his side, rolls his eyes, "You say that about everything we eat."

"It's true, though!." He takes another big bite, nearly whimpering at the taste of the food.

"Can you not moan while we're trying to eat?." Jisung groans in annoyance and you laugh at their antics. It's nice to see people so comfortable with each other, it's nice to see your friend in a different element. You're happy they're enjoying the food you bought.

Jisung scoots closer to you, your shoulders barely touching, but it's enough to make your breath catch, and you hate it. He's done this to you a million times.

"Yo, try this." He holds a spoon to your face, pouting when you take a second or two to analyze the food combination before taking his wrist and moving the spoon to your mouth.

He beams, watching you gleefully munch on the delicious food, licking your lips afterwards, leaving out a soft hum. "Oh my God this is life changing." You speak, eyes widening.

"I know, right?." He snorts, taking another piece from your favorite part of the meat and moving it to your plate, a simple but attentive act.

Suddenly, he stops mid-eating and moves back to stare at your face, like he's searching for something. You tilt your head in confusion, letting your gaze follow his.

"Wait," He moves his free hand to hold your face, pulling you closer to him by your cheeks.

You're not sure what makes you so warm, he's not even holding you tightly, but just the slightest bit of pressure on both of your cheeks makes you grow warm.

"What are you doing?" You whine, trying to get away from him, struggling to hide the way your heart pounds.

"Stay still!." He demands, brushing his thumb over the corner of your mouth and wiping what seemed to be sauce from the food he previously fed you with it.

You blink, gaze shifting everywhere but his face, a new feeling begins at the pit of your stomach and ends right in between your legs. You have to gather all that's within you to try and form a steady answer. "I- uh, thank you, Ji."

Jisung though, is completely unbothered, batting his eyes as he takes his thumb coated with the small bit of sauce and props it onto his mouth, leaving a low hum at the taste, eyes still on you when he releases it with a pop. "No problem."

You clear your throat, left to face the table in front of you.

Except you can't concentrate because, holy shit.

That was hot.

Like, really hot.

Jisung's hot.

Wait, you think Jisung's hot?.

Oh fuck.

✵

"You have to chill." You mutter to yourself, pacing left to right inside the bathroom, trying to get a hold on when your mind started going where it did.

You take another look at yourself in the mirror, contemplating whether you should splash some water on your face to wake the fuck up or not.

You tried, you tried to forget what happened, but it feels like the thought is always there, on the back of your head, chasing you, haunting you.

It's been 30 minutes since the little "incident" with Jisung, and since then, you can't fucking concentrate on anything. Chan told you to stay with them for a while, to vibe with them, to keep them company, and Jisung and Changbin didn't oppose the idea, so you agreed. Now, you regret it completely.

You're having the most difficult time of your life, you can only think about Jisung. With his plump, red lips that seemed—oh, so soft - wrapped around his thumb, tongue swirling around to lick the remains of sauce from his callused finger, his eyes locked on yours throughout the whole process.

You squeeze your eyes shut again, taking a deep breath.

It's too much.

How can such a small action rent a fucking triplex on your brain like that? Just the imaginative sight of him, grabbing on your face like that, so delicately yet so possessively...

No.

You have to stop.

You're imagining things.

What the fuck are you doing?. This is Jisung you're talking about, your best friend Jisung.

Pull yourself together.

It's your hormones, maybe you're ovulating. You have to be.

You can't let it get the best of you, not now.

Not when you're about to leave this bathroom and see him.

Inhaling deeply, you force yourself out of the room, attempting to get this over with quickly.

"Just an hour, an hour and I can leave." You tell yourself.

✵

"I need a break or I'm going to LOSE MY MIND." Changbin exclaims, stretching his body as he gets up from the chair.

"You're so dramatic, it's been like an hour since our last break." Jisung responds, still focused on the screen in front of him.

"Two hours." The other corrects.

Yeah well, the plan of staying just an hour didn't work that well, time went by quicker than it should and that couch was far too comfortable for you to dismiss it, especially after eating.

"Maybe it's time for some ice cream?." You ask.

"I'd kill for that." Jisung adds.

"I can get some, you guys keep with the work. You want more water?."

"No, no, no, you already got us food it's unfair." Chan refutes, "I'll go."

"But-"

"Don't worry, Changbin gets all whiny if we don't have at least one break, and I don't know if I can deal with him tonight without going the strangling route." He jokes, earning a nice laugh from you and Jisung. "it'd be good for us.

"You sure?."

"Yeah, yeah you can stay with Jisung while he finishes off his part. Tell him off if he gets too distracted." Chan winks.

"You good with that?." You ask Jisung.

"As if I have a choice." He puts, ironically.

"We should be back in a a while. What flavor do you want?." He asks you.

"Strawberry." Jisung answers for you, his hand moving to hug your waist sneakily.

Your heart does the thing again.

Of course he knows your favorite ice cream flavor, he's your best friend.

And it's not like he's never hugged you before.

"I should get my wallet."

"Are you insane? You're not paying!." Jisung squeezes your waist.

"Shut up, I want to."

"Too bad." Jisung gives Chan his card, and the older boy shrugs whispering a "sorry" to you as he takes the card.

✵

Jisung gives you a smile, then turns back to the computer, slowly going over what he was doing.

You're still on the couch, but you decide to move to where Chan was sitting, in the chair by his left side.

Slowly, you watch him do whatever he's doing, huge headphones covering his ears as he skillfully works. You wish you understood at least a little about music production.

However, watching him work was always entertaining to you, and now that you're alone and you can see him properly, it's even better.

"You're really good at this." You whisper, resting your head against his shoulder, careful not to disturb him and making sure he can still move his hand with ease.

Jisung jolts a bit, and you chuckle, watching him take the headphones off.

"What are you doing?."

"I missed you."

You did. This was the first time you saw Jisung in two weeks, and physical touch being one of your love languages definitely didn't help with the absence of him. You didn't want to go overboard when the guys were there, afraid you'd make him (or them) uncomfortable or disturb their work. So you kept it light: a leg thrown over his while you were eating, occasionally getting up and reassuringly rubbing his shoulders to ease the tension.

But now, you're alone, and you can express just how much you missed him.

"I missed you too, pretty." He pats your head and scrunches his nose, "Once I have the time, I'm spending the night at yours for a week straight. Prepare to be sick of me."

"Like is hard." You shrug.

"If it's so easy then why are you all over me right now?." He narrows his eyes, eyeing your other hand that placed on his lower thigh.

"You're so annoying." You yank your hand away, surprised by your own action, convinced you did it subconsciously just to support yourself in the position you were in.

He lets out a sincere laugh and puts his headphones on, shoving your head back to where it was. When you whine, he simply gives you a pat on the head and focuses back on the screen.

Asshole.

You really missed him.

You go back to watching him, moving the hand that was on his tight to his upper arm, rubbing soothing circles on the skin to keep you from thinking.

It didn't work for long though, soon your mind betrayed you once again, and you were caught thinking about how big his arm was. You know he's hitting the gym, but lord, did he get even bigger with just two weeks? That's not possible, is it?.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you move your hand, realizing he's not typing on the keyboard anymore. So you take his hand and place it on yours, interlocking your fingers in an attempt to calm yourself down.

You stay like that for a while, playing with his rings, trying not to hyperfocus on his fingers, cursing yourself internally for being a pervert in such a sweet interaction, a time you have with your friend after weeks.

"I can't focus." He says, almost throwing the headphones over the computer. You jump, not expecting the sudden action.

"Is everything okay?." You move away from him, trying to read his expressions. "Did I do something? I can sit back on the couch if that's the problem..."

"No, no, no, no." He says almost immediately, barely letting you finish speaking, grabbing your hand and squeezing to reassure you. "I'm just..." He sighs, "So fucking frustrated. I'm working a lot. It's difficult for me to work so many hours like Chan and Bin, plus I'm not like them, I-"

He stops, mouth open as if he's pondering what to say before sealing his lips again.

"What?."

"It's stupid." He disregards, shaking his hand while staring at his own feet.

"Ji, if it's bothering you, then it can't be stupid." You affirm.

"It's weird, talking to you about these things. Trust me."

"Come on, we've talked about pretty much everything, nothing you say can be weirder than what I've already heard from you." You joke, and he lets out a single scuff, enough to feel like you're easing him in.

"Fine."

"Say it."

"I'm really worked up-"

"Already know that, and I told you to at least try to get some rest-"

"I'm not done." He adds, tone dropping lower while you try to dismiss the sudden wave of warmth that courses through you.

"Sorry."

"I'm so fucking frustrated, in anyway you can think of. And it's not like I can relieve myself like Changbin and Chan do with their girlfriends, part of me feels like I just need to have a proper release. But lately, I haven't been able to do that." He sighs, moving his hands to his face, covering his eyes. "I love music and I love working, but all I've been doing lately is focusing on music all day, I can't even see you anymore..."

"Oh..."

"Also, you're here, touching me like this, in the most innocent way, and I can't help but... anyway- it's not really helping..." He admits, but then immediately snaps a hand over his mouth in shock.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said it that, God, this is stupid, I'm just so-"

"Horny?." You lift your eyebrow in question.

"And tired." he adds.

"Well, I could... find someone for you?" I have some friends that-"

"No. Just forget it." He sighs, shifting in his seat, and getting ready to put the headphones back.

You stop him.

"Do you want me to help?."

"I told you, you don't have to. I'll figure something out."

"No, like, right now. Do you want me to help?."

"What the fuck are you talking about?."

You shouldn't do this, but right now, you're not sure if you're thinking with your brain at all, and that's probably why you get on your knees, spinning his chair to face you. Your face leveling with his core.

"I can't stand watching you suffer. I want to help." The proposition lingers, and you panic, afraid you're about to get rejected, scared he might not be interested in you in that way. "As a friend."

"You do?."

"Yeah, if you want me to."

"I do - fuck, yeah I do. But are you sure?."

You nod. Running your hands all over his thighs, he must've been really worked up, he's already out of breath from a simple touch, and you haven't even touched to his dick yet.

This could be fun.

At least for a moment, you can have him, without actually having him.

"How much time do we have?."

He glances at the computer, then turns to you disappointed.

"Like twenty minutes." He pouts.

"That's more than enough, Ji." You chuckle, "Should I remind you to be quiet?."

"Maybe, yeah." It comes out more as a breathy exhale than a sentence, and you laugh.

You begin by slowly rubbing him over his pants, Jisung immediately grips the sides of the chair tightly.

"Relax for me, hm?." You say. You don't want him to feel like he has to do this in any way, and you also don't want him to feel pressured or nervous about it. You're just helping him out.

"It's hard to..."

"I got you. You're with me now."

Without a warning, you zip down his black washed jeans, skillfully pulling them down to his knees. He looks huge already, and he's incredibly hard over his underwear too, what a sight.

"Fuck, you're so hot." He whines impatiently, and you take the chance to finally free him from his boxers.

Oh my God, he's big.

Bigger than you expected.

You give him a stroke or two, staring directly into his eyes, and you watch the way his whole body jolts, leaning into your touch. You smile, so horny you can't bother to be shy, wanting to be so good at this that he falls in love with you.

Just like you fell for him.

Cockily, you begin to slowly kitten lick his tip, before swirling your tongue around his member saliva pilling on your mouth, just enough to make everything nice and wet, enough to make him let the sweetest groan fall from his lips.

You take a deep breath and bring him into your mouth, making sure to relax and feel him around your lips, savoring the chance of being with him.

It feels so good to have Jisung like this.

A moan leaves your mouth the second he hits the back of your throat, that's when you pull back a little and get into sucking him, rubbing your thighs together, dying for some friction.

"H-Holy fuck, it feels so fucking good."

The way you're bobbing your head is driving him crazy, and the confirmation comes with how he's moaning so loudly , it has you reaching out for your clothed core and rubbing soft circles against your clit in a second - Not the way you want to relieve yourself, but I'd have to do it for now.

You've heard about how loud Jisung can get in every drunk late night talks you have with the guys — 'he's so loud we can hear him even when he's alone'

But this, being the one and only reason for these sweet sounds, felt much different.

You bring his balls into your hands, cupping and massaging his base, giving your mouth a second to rest.

When you put him on your mouth again, his eyes are already rolling to the back of his head, chest rising and falling rapidly, and mouth agape. You dig your fingers into his inner thighs, scratching the flesh, leaving pretty marks all over him, then move to do the same with his torso.

It seems to rile him up even further, considering he begins to quite literally fuck your mouth, fingers gathering your hair to move your head along with his hips.

You can't let him forget who's in charge, though.

So you push his hips down with all the strength you have and remove your mouth from him completely.

Jisung whines—almost screams, actually—from the loss of contact, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Don't be impolite, Jisung, I'm helping you." You joke, licking your lips.

"I know baby but I'm so close." He argues, breathless.

It's just a pet name

He's just desperate

He does not mean that.

"Either you let me do whatever I want, or I'll leave you here." You say.

"Jesus Christ, have you always been like this?."

You nod, "Can I get back to it?."

"Please."

Just to tease him, you don't put him in your mouth right away. You lick all over his balls, tracing your tongue against the base of his cock, never quite reaching the tip, feeling his body tense all over again, listening to his whimpers get louder and louder, before wrapping your lips around him once more. You're getting right back on track.

That's when your phone rings.

You roll your eyes, and Jisung groans in annoyance. Luckily, your phone isn't out of reach, right on your back pocket, so you can grab without stopping what you're doing.

Until you see who's calling.

"It's Chan." You mumble, detaching your mouth from him. You clear your throat in an attempt to sound normal, looking over to Jisung to gesture a small "shh."

"Hey Chan, what's up?" You say, while evilly pecking Jisung's sensitive head, he squirms, hand flying over his mouth to muffle the sounds while you silently chuckle.

"Hey, we just got to the store because Changbin kept refusing to walk faster. I called to say there's no strawberry ice cream left. Any other flavor you'd want?.

Pouting, you answer, "Aww, that's too bad. Just bring me vanilla instead then."

You're pretty convincing. You're sure no one could tell you're licking a long stripe over your best friend's dick right now.

Chan talks about something else you can't quite focus on, and you take the moment he's blabbing to take Jisung deep into your throat, careful not to make any suspicious sounds.

Not a good idea in the slightest, Jisung moans loudly, the hand over his mouth doing absolutely nothing to shut him up.

"Everything okay?." Chan asks.

You quickly take Jisung out of your mouth, saliva dripping down your chin in the most pornographic way possible. The man in front of you looks like he's going insane, tightly gripping the handles of the chair and staring at the trail of saliva. He's probably like this because he's been pent up, you argue, but it's undeniably satisfying to see him enjoy this so much. Going crazy over you.

"You there?." Chan asks.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. Everything's fine, Jisung almost fell of his chair here." You force out a chuckle.

Chan lets out a laugh, but you can tell he's suspicious, and you silently curse Jisung for that.

"Okay cool, we'll be back in twenty, maybe thirty if Changbin keeps trying to buy every snack he encounters. Wait- Bin we have chips at home!. I should go." With that Chan hangs up.

You laugh, watching Jisung's eyes prick with tears as you painfully tease him.

"What? We have time." You say.

"Y-you're so mean."

"Oh, am I?"

He nods and says, "I would've never pegged you as that type."

"Eh, it depends on the mood."

"And what's today's mood?"

"Making you cum so hard you forget your own name."

"If you keep saying shit like that, I might cum untouched."

"Let's leave that for some other time."

At this point Jisung is a complete goner, he was already so close, so when you suddenly decide to go full out on him; messy, intense, delicious, it drives him insane. You look up to find him looking at you with so much desire while still struggling to keep his eyes open, you can see him fight the internally against the need to close his eyes, just to watch you. Probably the hottest thing you've ever seen.

"Fuck yeah, shit just like t-that..." His head is entirely thrown back now, his back arches and he reaches for your hair to pull on the strands again, you moan, a bit louder than you intended too as it gets harder to keep it together.

He groans, again and again, and you're pretty sure you've learned everything he likes by now because he's so fucking responsive, hips stuttering to your every touch, whimpers coming out whenever you tease him...you want more.

But this is all you can have.

Every sound that comes out of him just builds and builds and it doesn't take too long for him to turn into a whimpering, moaning mess, calling your name and all sinful things you've wanted to hear for so long.

"I-fuck I'm so close."

"Yeah? You're gonna cum for me Ji?." You ask, jerking him off a few times to rest your mouth before taking him in again. "I want you to do it on my mouth, I want to taste you Ji, please."

Jisung comes with one loud, dragged out moan that's music to your ears. He moves from your hair to your shoulder, gripping tightly at the skin.

"Holy fucking shit..."

He shoots so much into your mouth is hard to gather, but you make it a mission to swallow every single bit of him, making sure to lick him clean afterwards, only stopping when he cutely pushes your head away, overstimulated.

"E-enough, please..." He pleads.

You laugh, giving his tip an extra peck, before pulling his pants back up.

Silence fills the room, his eyes are still shut while you're resting infront of him, knees hurting and mouth already starting to feel sore. Jisung opens his eyes and you shyly smile, a wave of embarrassment hits you when you realized you've showed him a side of you he hasn't seen yet.

"So, you're freaky like that huh?." He asks, leaning in to meet your, face. "All this in the studio?"

"Shut up." You laugh.

"Come here." He taps his thigh with his palm, signing for you to sit on his lap. You think, once, twice, then comply to his wish, making yourself comfortable, yet awkwardness doesn't fail to rest inside of you.

You wait for him to speak, but no response. Instead, Jisung begins to deliver slow open mouth kisses on your neck, you sigh when he brushes his tongue right on the sweet spot you love so much, and hiss when he begins sucking and biting there.

He lets go of your neck to bring your face closer to his, staring directly into what felt to be your soul.

Jisung wastes no time in kissing you, testing every part of your mouth in such a particular way, exploring you like you're full of possibilities. His tongue works so perfectly with yours it has you squirming

When he pulls away, he's met with your love drunk face, staring right back with a smile.

"Oh my fucking God." You grin and he follows, shaking his head.

"We just kissed."

"After I sucked you off."

"Nice reminder." He slaps your thigh jokingly.

"So..."

"Yes?."

"I know the order is mess up especially after all this time of being friends, I'm definitely supposed to take you out and then you suck me off, but... would you still be up for a date?"

Your heart skips a beat the moment he finishes his sentence, still incredulous that this is actually happening.

"Sure." Is all you can manage to answer back.

"But promise me, it won't fuck up or friendship-"

"Jisung." You stop him, "Don't worry about it." You add, kissing his temple. "We'll make it work."

"We will." He afirms.

"Now that we got that out of the way..." Jisung's hand that's been resting on your thigh goes higher, it sends shivers down your spine. You're already so wet from the whole situation alone, it's unreal that you're gonna get to feel him touch you, after all this time.

When he reaches where you want him the most, and begins to apply pressure right on your clit, all you can think about is one thing:

You're a fucking genius for wearing a skirt today.

But you're interrupted by the loud sound of the studio door opening. Jisung's hand flies away from you and you quickly jump from his lap in an inhuman speed.

"We're back!." Changbin says before entering the room, Chan following him right after.

"Yeah, we can see you." Jisung rolls his eyes, turning his chair back to the laptop, like absolutely nothing happened. He easily wears the most cynical and hypocrite look to ever exist.

It's kinda hot

"I should eat your ice cream for the attitude." Changbin says, throwing the bag on the table.

"You okay?." Chan asks, looking at your currently state, your hair is not as messy as it was a few minutes ago, but the way your skirt has ridden up is definitely suspicious.

"I- yeah, I'm good. I think I'm going to head home though..."

"What about the ice cream?."

"I'll just have it on the way." You say, putting on your best smile and gathering your stuff.

"You fucked didn't you?." It leaves Changbin's mouth like it's nothing, a simple question he delivers while eating his ice cream.

"Huh? No!. What makes you think that?." Jisung asks.

But his smile gives everything away.

✹

hanji <3: hey lol

you: what do you want?

hanji <3: what do you mean 'what do you want'?? cant i just say hey to my girlfriend?

you: its 11pm and you texted 'hey lol', something has to be up

hanji <3: fine.

hanji <3 : im working on this song, nothing much, just a sample for myself, was wondering if you'd want to be on the backing vocals

you: you have to be kidding me

you: you cant possibly know me for so long and not know I cant sing for the life of me

hanji <3: well that isn't exactly what I want to record

hanji <3: there wouldn't be much singing...

you: what?

hanji <3: ;)

you: oh?

you: OH

you: HAN JISUNG

hanji <3: are you down or nah?

you: be there in 10.

•

If you enjoyed this don't forget to reblog it with your feedback, it means the world to me and I'd really appreciate it! Feel free to send me an anon or ask me anything, I'm always open. Don't forget to be kind <33

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warm-starlight · 1 year ago

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I just saw that post you shared from TW and I wanted to get some things off my chest.

There’s no need to write a pathetic piece desperately trying to downplay Hanji’s impact to Levi. Erwin and Hanji are both important to him. THATS FUCKING CANON! I’m so tired reading the same “Levi encouraged Erwin to use Hanjis squad as a bait to save his life. Therefore Levi doesn’t give a shit about Hanji and is in love with Erwin.” ERWIN IS THEIR COMMANDER AND HIS SAFETY IS A PRIORITY! That's literally how the military chain of command is preserved! Hanji would’ve done the same thing in Levi’s place without a doubt. ”Levi still mentions Erwin even though he is dead for four years.” DUUUUHHH?!Of course he still thinks about him and his promise to him! All the scouts along with Erwin died to give him the opportunity to kill zeke and he fucking failed! Of course he is eager to finish the job! And for the love of god stop using the “I’m championing for LGBT ships and you are dismissing roori becase they are gay.” Girl,roori is the least dismissed ship out there. They are literally one of the biggest army of shippers out there and theres no shortage of people defending them all the time. Also, levihan isn’t a even a straight ship?! Did they miss the whole thing where Isayama changed Hanjis pronouns in the manga?I also hate how whoever wrote this feels like their personal interpretation is the only thing that matters and ours is wrong and invalid. All that shit they are presenting about Levi and Erwin should be interpreted as romantic but those between Levi and Hange no matter how emotional and intimate should not?Grow up!If levihan bothers you so much block and mute people.Do what you gotta do to keep away from the content you dont want to see!Let people enjoy hamless shit.

I have a lot to say about every paragraph of that post, but i honestly don't care for wasting my time on someone who chooses to read the manga with their eyes closed.

Remember when that central MP told Levi that Erwin is captured and will be hanged and offered to let him go if he just gives himself in? Levi said "no", even though he should want to protect Erwin's life no matter what according to them, right? Instead Levi said "Some lives are more valuable than the others.". At that moment he prioritized the lives of Eren and Historia over Erwin.

Also "he never thought about Hange" after they died is hilariously incorrect. He told Hange to "keep watching". He followed their theory that killing Zeke might sever Eren's connection to the paths and stop the rumbling. He also used the knowledge he got from them to quickly asses that the Ackermans and shifters are immune to the titan gas and lead everyone to kill Eren.

He literally thought about them as he was having his internal monologue. They were at the front of his mind so to speak and the only active character in the panels, while everyone else was a passive listener.

He saw them among every other survey corps member when he gave them his final salute.

Years later he saw a plane fly by that reminded him of the day he lost them and erooris clowning about that panel saying "HaNgE iS A PLaNe" are just completely braindead and don't understand literary symbolism.

There are too many scenes that showed Levi cares deeply about Hange and the fact he prioritized **the freaking commander of the survey corps** at some point does not negate that he has almost been hit by Zeke's rocks worrying about their safety and that he stopped in the middle of an intense battle to make Armin protect them when they got injured.

In the forest afrer finding out what happened to Zeke (because Zeke was the last thing he remembers before the explosion??) he immediately brought the conversation to Hange's expressed feelings and gave them much needed encouragement.

Anyway. Erooris clearly are seething because all they have is the promise which, although was made to Erwin,was really about All the dead survey corps members. The moment between them was nowhere near on the level of intimacy and vulnerability that 126 and 132 had. They are clearly green with envy.

When the shippes choose to talk shit about "a rival ship" rather than talking about their own content this is how you know they have no leg to stand on.

Yes, Levi cared about Erwin deeply, yes, his loyalty to him was amazing, but he has done things to Hange he has done to nobody else and Hange was the only person who witnessed him at his most vulnerable and soft and all of it was meant for them alone.

#snk #aot #levihan #ship wars #anonymous

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subskz · 1 year ago

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i need you to know that i was scrolling through your blog and the ad that popped up was a picture of a foot and it made me giggle.

anyways, now i’m thinking about teasing hanji by pressing on his crotch with my foot. seeing him squirm and hold back from whining, constantly bringing him to the edge and stopping before he can finish. making him a teary eyed mess before even entertaining the thought of letting him get off 🥰 -🐾

a FOOT? 😭 tumblr has made a fool out of me for the last time…but at least we can say it sparked this delicious thought in you hehe

i love this kind of idea for hannie bc it works so well w how shamelessly he vies for attention sometimes…if you get him worked up enough he’d be so willing to do anything, even things he knows will embarrass him out of his mind, just for a chance to be rewarded. just denying him once or twice already has him so desperate for you and not at all above begging…the fact that he looks so irresistible gazing up w big watery doe eyes probably helps his case too <3 but it’s still much more fun to keep testing his limits and watching the way his patience crumbles to the point where he’s grinding up against your foot like a needy puppy or clinging on to you with a whine when you pull away 😽

#ask #🐾 anon #💌 hannie #funnily enough the only foot related thing ive ever written was for hanji too…#we all just take one look at him n think yeah kneeling on the floor being toyed with like that is exactly where he belongs 🥰

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sweetsungie · 2 years ago

Text

the silence between two special songs | h.j | part 4

pairing: souncloud! jisung x reader (ft. dancer! hyunjin)

genre: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mature content, fwb, mutual pining, unrequited love, rapper jisung, english major reader

series: the silence between two special songs

word count: 22k

warnings: cursing, fluff, total angst fest, marijuana use, smoking, a lot of making out, jealousy, mentions of sex, oral (f. receiving), teasing, dirty talk (???), slight dry humping, heartbreak, toxic situationships :(

synopsis:

falling in love with someone was one of the best and worst things a person could do. you'd remember the first time your heart skipped a beat at the sound of their voice and how perfectly their lips fit into yours. you'd remember how they encapsulated every single fiber being within you that you could no longer breathe when you were around them; likewise, you didn't want to.

you'd remember all the good things about them.

but then you'd remember the first time it ached knowing that they cared about you, but not enough. how they loved you, but not the way you wanted them to.

not the way you wanted hyunjin to.

and not the way jisung wanted you to.

•°. *࿐

a/n: this was such a hectic couple of weeks ughhh!!! i hope you guys enjoy this chapter though, a lot of heartbreak and angst and feels and ahhhhh :’(

as always though, the series spotify playlist is linked below so listen as you read, if you can (i’ve updated with skz replay 2022 hehe)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

comment to be a part of the taglist <3

masterlist

series playlist

You believed that loving him was like chasing after the clouds.

“We never made it, did we?”

You knew it was impossible, but you still craved it, just for the excitement, the thrill it gave you; for the feeling of adrenaline coursing through your veins.

But after a while, you realized it was pointless.

Absolutely pointless going after something that was completely out of your reach.

It was scary to find someone that made you happy.

You would start giving them all your attention because they were what made you forget everything and consume anything. And for a split second—that felt like forever—you would find yourself realizing that everything bad in your life had disappeared.

They would be the first person you would want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you slept, just so you could start and end your day with a smile. It all sounded great to have that someone, but it was scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away with them.

But still, it was the best thing in the world and you wouldn't trade it in for anything else.

“Fuck Hanji—” You sobbed, back arched, nails digging, and fingers gripping into the sheets below you. This had to be your fourth orgasm of the night—no, maybe fifth. Who knew? You honestly weren't keeping track anymore.

All you knew was that this shouldn't be happening… again.

Jisung’s voice was muffled. “Mhm I know baby, let it out.” He peered up from in between your legs, watching you unfold before his very eyes into a blissful contracting high, over and over, all because of his mouth. “Let me know how good I’m making you feel.”

He, out of all people, knew that he really should not be doing this.

He shouldn’t keep coming back to you—not like this. Not when he had his heart delicately worn on his sleeve and you were the one to play with it.

Words suddenly didn't seem to exist anymore as you struggled to keep your trembling legs apart. Ultimately you failed, nearly trapping the boy’s head in between your thighs as you rolled over to your side.

And although Jisung should’ve been regretting it, scolding himself to stop after the first time he made you finish tonight, he couldn't keep a smug smirk from forming on his lips. He lifted himself up to watch you fucked out, eyes shut.

Sure, he was used to it by now. But he could never get tired of the view.

He rolled you so you were wholly on your back again, your body limp as you were still in the process of regaining any sense of strength you had. Lowering himself onto his forearms, he leaned himself slightly onto the top of your chest, upper bodies pressed together. Like always, he wanted to feel you closer.

Kissing you gently at first, soft skin gliding over softer skin, he pulled your lower lip between his, drawing on it slightly. “Another?” His warm breath blew across your cheek, a hungry look in his eyes.

It should’ve felt like you've both done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, maybe even stole some candy from a kid—but as his embrace became more heated, his hand clasping around your neck and stroking up and down until he felt you relax—it felt like complete bliss.

You shuttered so easily against his touch. The barest tip of his tongue moved forward to tease your upper lip. You welcomed him, and he began to explore your mouth with purpose, catching you almost unaware.

The lack of words from you was what caused his hand to wander. It trailed down the side of your waist, down your hips, and right in between your legs again before grazing a finger against your wet, throbbing bud.

You moaned against him, your hips lifting from the contact. It was ridiculous how needy you had gotten within the past few weeks. Ever since you had gotten a taste of what a real orgasm felt like, you just couldn't stop.

Partly because it felt so good in it by itself, and partly because, well, it felt so good that you seemingly forgot about all your worries.

Ever since break had begun, there had been a constant routine in place.

You’d wake up, think about Hyunjin, go on your morning walk, read, take a nap with a random movie playing in the back, think about Hyunjin some more, read again, and get into bed.

Then, you’d end up not being able to fall asleep. So, you’d spend some time on your phone—an hour, maybe even two. Just long enough until you’d run out of applications to fornicate with, ultimately leading you to think about Hyunjin again.

What was he doing? What did he wear today? Did he have a good day? A bad one?

It was embarrassing, pitiful, and pathetic and all you wanted to do was shame yourself in the mirror because of how utterly miserable you were acting over a boy.

So later you’d result in texting Jisung, and bother him until he’d understand what was going on with you. He had mastered the language of ‘girl’ after spending his whole life dealing with you.

And because of that, he’d end up calling you even though he was flooded with work right next door at his desk and was too lazy to get up and talk to you in person.

You’d always let it ring twice—sometimes two and a half just because you didn't want to seem too desperate for what you had in mind.

"I'm bored," you’d sigh dramatically.

He would simply laugh as his heart quickened, mind running back and forth between yes, no, yes, no, until he was stuck on yes as if some malware had corrupted his system. A beautiful, yet dangerous virus.

After what happened the first night, you had told Jisung multiple times that he didn't need to do this anymore. You felt bad because it seemed like he was just doing this for you.

When you made the first move, he was hesitant and overly nervous.

"Are you sure?"

He paused for a second before nodding his head. "Yes,” and he told you honestly. He had made a contract with himself before even entering your room that he’d forget the consequences—just this once. He could have everything.

He’d insist and tell you that he didn't mind—that if you needed to release your stress, he could help you. And because of this, it didn't help that he seemed to be feeding into your addiction. You had no choice but to believe it.

So now, if it wasn't for the sudden discomfort you felt against his fingers, you would've kept going to have your next climax—because you needed it, and because you wanted it.

But it would all happen again tomorrow, right?

Wincing from the overstimulation, you pulled away from his swollen lips slightly. “Mm—I don’t think I can go again.” Your pelvis was growing sore and the space between your legs began to ache.

He nodded, his mouth moving against the surface of your skin for a few moments more before halting his movements. He lifted himself, falling over beside you with a sigh.

Turning to look at him, you took in his flushed-out face. “You want next?” You asked, beginning to reach for the waistband of his sweatpants before he stopped you.

He shook his head, eyes closed with sleep. “No, that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad.”

“Easy for you to say. You never let me go down on you,” you huffed out. “I feel like it’s not fair.”

It was true. Based on the laws of orgasms between more than one person, it wasn't fair. Everyone involved should be able to feel the sweet sensation of release. But Jisung felt like he didn't deserve that—especially not from you.

And it wasn't as if he hadn't lost all his self-respect already, he somehow managed to save the last shred of it by not letting your lips anywhere near his dick.

Surely, you both have had sex multiple times by now, with the two of you chasing your highs. And if he was lucky, sometimes he’d even finish twice. But something about the thought of you solely out to please him, and only him—He’d lose his mind once and for all.

Jisung was nothing but a humble servant. It was better this way for him. Opening an eye to glance over at you, he plastered a ridiculous smile onto his lips. “Don’t feel bad for abusing my skills.”

Your mouth fell agape and you slapped his chest. “Bitch, I literally just offered!”

His hands came up to shield himself, now fully awake. He laughed until you huffed out in playful frustration. “I just want to sleep with you, that’s all.”

“You can silly.” You engulf him in a kiss and he hummed, pulling away ever so slightly.

“But like in the innocent way.” He wasn't sure if you understood where he was going with this.

You groaned dramatically, a humorous smile forming on your lips. “You're so boring…”

“Oh, am I?” He raised an eyebrow, quizzically, and you nodded. “If I’m being honest, I was expecting you to get down on one knee while asking to give me head… so if anyone's boring, that’s all you.”

You paused for a moment. "Now, you're the stupidest person I've ever met. Did you know that?"

He let out a complacent laugh. "I get that a lot. Good thing you help me with my homework! But you love it, don't you?" He teased, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it around his finger.

Whatever. You rolled your eyes, "I don't know, do I?"

His phone sounded with his ringtone. "I sure hope so.”

As he turned over to your nightstand to grab his phone to answer it, you sat up, cringing at the big mess you made between your legs. You needed to shower quickly before Minho came home and hogged all the hot water.

He was finally coming back after a full week away for break. He had gone on vacation with his parents and cats and you couldn't wait to hear about it tomorrow.

“In the morning?” Jisung groaned slightly from beside you. He sat up, leaning to grab one of your plushies that found its way onto the ground, and lazily hugged it to his chest. “That’s so early… Yeah, yeah I know… Fine… I’ll see you then.”

And with that he hung up, tossing his phone down on the space in front of him. His expression screamed with slight annoyance and despair and you couldn’t help but teasingly question him over it.

“What's with the face?” You chuckled, tossing on a shirt.

“I have to go to the studio tomorrow at like seven in the morning,” he exhaustingly hurled his head back onto a pillow.

Immediately your eyes brightened and you hopped back onto the bed beside him. “I wanna go!”

For the past couple of days since break had begun, Jisung, Chan, and Changbin had been trying to rent out a spot at a studio to record and plan for their third mini album.

This was a big deal for them because they were never able to do it in any other place besides their small studio setup at their houses. So they did a lot of research and were slowly trying to expand their resources.

Jisung looked at you with the utmost confusion ever, “Did you miss the part where I said it was at seven in the morning?”

“So what? That means we get an early start to our days!”

Now he was really fucking confused. “Let me get this straight. You—Y/N—wants to get an early start to your day? It must be opposite day.”

Your jaw dropped, “What do you take me for? I can get up early.” He gave you a look that screamed with ‘in your dreams.’ It made you scoff at his audacity. “You really underestimate me.”

He lightheartedly rolled his eyes, trying his best to fight an amused smile at your annoyance, “Hmm, I guess I do.” He could feel his face beginning to heat up and he mentally cursed himself out for it. “Either way, the answer is no.”

"Why?"

He paused for a moment, thinking. "Because you talk too much it’s distracting."

You raised your eyebrows and pointed at yourself. "Me? I’m the one who talks too much?"

He nodded in response, just to get you worked up for his own personal enjoyment. And it worked considering you glared at him for a couple of seconds.

“Jisung, you and I both know that you’re the one who never shuts up.”

“Woah, now I’m just offended.”

“How?”

“Because you make it seem like it's a bad thing Y/N.”

“Well, that's because you made it seem like it too—You know what? Never mind, I don't wanna go anymore.”

If anybody heard you both, they would've assumed you were an old bickering couple.

He bursted out laughing and kept trying to reach for you—trying to touch you to apologize. You had to tell him to stop many times until you relentlessly gave up. "I’m sorry," he cheekily grinned, poking the fat of your cheek, "Forgive me."

“Shut up, Han.” You swatted his hand away.

Placing a hand on his chest, he gasped. “Ouch, not the government.” After a moment, he exhaled loudly like he had been keeping in a breath for too long. "You know what?" He said to you. He slid his fingers through yours and squeezed your hand.

"What loser?" You were still kind of mad at him.

"You're my favorite person.”

He felt you laugh a little and it made him smile.

"Oh yeah? Out of how many people?" You asked.

"All of them babe,” he winked. “So, fine, you can come.” You squinted at him for a few seconds, suspicious of his sudden switch-up. “What?” He laughed, giving your hand another squeeze. “C’mon, I’ll buy you coffee and food too.”

“I feel like this is a joke and you're just trying to get my hopes up.”

“Definitely the case.”

You pushed him away from you, jokingly. “Fuck you.”

But when he brought himself back to you, touched your bare arm, and then cupped your chin, he turned your head to face him. “Kidding.” It felt as if the stars were dancing across his skin. "You can actually come. And if it helps I’ll give you kisses all over your face,” he proudly stated, lifting a finger, “but don't even dare try to nap on Changbin’s shoulder either, even though he has more muscles than me! You can only nap on mine… or the arm of the sofa.”

You laughed, shaking your chin from out of his grip. "Are you always so greedy?"

His eyes glinted, "With you, yes.” Easily, yes.

“Gross, Sungie. You made it sound real for a second,” you faked a gag. "But okay. I’ll go if you want me to so badly.”

The two of you didn't know what to call it, what was happening between you, but you both liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good.

Usually, he would’ve argued back but he’d let you have it just this once. “As aggravating as it is, I do.”

You laughed, “See, this is why you're my favorite person, too, Ji.” You snuggled your head against him. “By a long shot.”

Silly, fragile. good, and everything else in between.

By the time you both needed to leave the next morning, it managed to take a lot of willpower in getting the both of you out of bed than expected.

It didn't help that you and Jisung were running off of only a couple of hours of sleep either, so the thought of ever getting out of the warmth of your sheets was pushed far back in both of your minds.

But soon enough, you realized that someone had to take one for the team and get up first, or else neither of you would ever make it. Yet every time you mustered enough energy to attempt to get up, Jisung would always pull you right back in into the warmth of his embrace.

And of course, you had no other choice but to let your body fall into his control.

This was why the both of you were an hour late.

As expected, Chan lectured the both of you when arriving—more so Jisung, since the older boy didn't have the heart to blame you entirely for his friend’s laziness. Although, he knew in reality you were all the more reason for it.

“I told you that we should’ve said six instead of seven,” Changbin butted in from where he was seated. “If we did, he would’ve come right on time.”

Jisung flicked him off, “Shut up. This isn't even fair because you live with Chan. If you were me you would’ve overslept too.”

Changbin mocked him in a childlike manner and Jisung nearly launched himself on top of him. This was normal behavior between the both of them so you and Chan simply laughed as a result.

Soon after the bickering ended (with Chan having to interfere of course), the boys finally began to work and you found a spot in the back where there were couches to catch up on some reading.

Despite the fact that you had read a lot during the break already, you had only been reading the book Hyunjin had given you. And you were nearly finished with it, but for some reason, you couldn't bring yourself to actually complete it.

This was why you were stuck reading some random book that you ordered online a couple of days ago now.

You weren't too sure as to how long they had rented out the studio for, but you had assumed it was for a good part day by the looks of it. A couple of hours had passed by now, with the three of them in and out of the recording booth. It was interesting at first watching the music process behind the scenes, but now you were starting to grow bored.

What did you expect though? They paid for this room so surely, they would be doing what they planned on doing which was working.

You sighed to yourself, flipping to the next page. Where was your free coffee and food? Maybe you should bother Jisung about it soon because he made a bold claim about it yesterday.

You looked up to watch him from where he was at. You could hear his light mumbles as he repeated the lyrics. He was sat across, his back facing you, and tapped his pen against the table whilst he made up a random tune to go along with it. You resisted the urge to let your eyes linger on him for too long.

Although you couldn't see it from where you were sat, his eyes traced his notebook as he lazily swayed himself in his chair. But you didn't need to see his face to know that he had a faint crease between his eyebrows as he focused.

And suddenly you felt something pool in between your legs at the thought. You imagined your mouth moving down to his neck and breathing in the scent of his skin so he would gasp. You imagined taking in the taste of him, running your hands down his chest, kissing your way across and down the line of his torso.

You tried to not make it obvious that you were openly studying him.

But ultimately, you failed as you suddenly felt a pair of eyes on you—and it was Chan’s. He had caught you staring and immediately after, your cheeks flushed red. Undeniably enough, he most definitely did not know the reason behind your stare, but still, you felt icky.

Why were you so aroused all the time? It was embarrassing.

You would have shaken your head if you could have found it.

"Alright, tell me what you think," Jisung said to the boys beside him, passing his notebook. It woke you up from your daze. He leaned back in his chair, spinning around in it briefly to face you and give you a quick smile.

But, looking at your flushed-out appearance, curiosity quickly washed over him as he wondered what had been on your mind.

The boys soon gave their input, agreeing with some of his additions. “But maybe you should ask Y/N. She has a fresh eye,” Chan suggested suddenly.

Jisung’s eyes widened slightly, at your name. He needed to stop getting flustered so easily. He was just unsure of where his friend was taking this so abruptly.

He took his notebook back, silently hoping that Changbin wouldn't agree with Chan.

“That’s true. Sometimes a new person could help,” Changbin added before turning back to look at you. “Y/N, come here real quick. We need your input.”

With a sigh, you stood up from where you sat and walked over to them. Jisung hesitantly passed you his notebook and a minute passed before you finished reading what he had wrote.

You were silent for a moment, reflecting.

"Hmm… I think," you said slowly as you leaned over to place his notebook in the space in front of him. His eyes followed your actions. "I think that you really can drive a person crazy by simply refusing to look at them. I like it.”

You were referring to a specific line you had read.

Jisung chuckled to himself softly, tracing his tongue lightly against the bottom of his lip. He turned around in his chair properly so his back was facing you again and he couldn't see you anymore.

His elbows now rested on the table as he sucked in against his teeth. "I suppose there isn't anything quite like being ignored by someone you have feelings for, huh?"

It was nearly two in the afternoon before you decided you were pretty close to disliking books. You had spent so much time today reading and pausing and reading and pausing—you were so tired of looking at pages.

You also didn't have any room to voice your complaints. You were the one who basically begged to go last night but now you were slowly starting to regret it. And sure, it would've been easier to just leave right then, by yourself, but a part of you wanted to prove to Jisung that you wanted to be there.

It was your stupid and really lame way of trying to show your appreciation to the boys because this was their first time in an official studio. But the clock was moving too damn slow, probably even slower than usual.

You sighed to yourself, throwing the paperback book onto the opposite side of the couch. That was enough of that. How much longer was this going to take…

“Alright, let’s take it from the top.”

It took everything in you to not groan loudly for everyone to hear you. Today wasn't about you and you had to keep reminding yourself of that. And it worked… for maybe another half an hour until you just couldn't take it anymore.

You picked up your phone and began to type away.

you: i’m bored

No response. You waited a few minutes before texting again.

you: like realllyyyyyyy fucking bored

Nothing.

you: han jisung

Okay, clearly, he was busy working right in front of you… but still. His phone at the very least should’ve lit up. Maybe he was on do not disturb. You were growing irritable.

You stood up, ever so abruptly, and walked over to him. You grabbed his phone that was facing down. He was too busy looking at whatever was on his laptop screen before shooting you a glance from the side.

“Yes?” He asked and stopped typing.

You unlocked his phone and placed it on his keyboard before walking back to the couch. Luckily the other two boys beside him were too busy on their own devices to pay attention to what happened.

It took a few seconds before your phone lit up with a text.

jisung: oh

jisung: me too

jisung: wanna cuddle?

You rolled your eyes still a bit moody but quickly typed nonetheless.

you: yes

jisung: wait

jisung: i was joking

you: oh

You paused briefly, unsure of what to say next. Now what.

jisung: fuck it lol

jisung: bathroom? 🫠

Your eyes glanced up from your phone, and Jisung casually stole a look at you before setting his phone back down. It was like you both knew what the answer was going to be. Almost immediately after, you stood up and told the boys that you were going to the bathroom.

You were very, very restless.

But the second you stepped out of the room, you realized that you didn't know where anything was. Maybe this would be the perfect time to reflect on your poor, polluted thoughts from earlier.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice suddenly called out.

You turned to the voice at the end of the hallway behind you, and soon after, you took a stumble backward. It was Seungmin and Hyunjin.

The same voice, which was Seungmin’s, spoke once more. “Thank God we found you! We’ve been lost for the past ten minutes walking around this building.” His hands carried two brown bags and he made his way to you. “Where are the boys?”

You were still quite startled by the sudden sight. Then everything processed once Hyunjin took his first step towards you. You looked absolutely disgusting right now. Your hair was a mess, your body was engulfed with a hoodie that was quadruple your size, and you probably still had morning face—you just didn't feel too good about yourself.

The two of them finally met you where you stood, frozen. “Oh—um… hey guys,” you coughed out. Gosh, you were making it so awkward.

“Hi,” Hyunjin waved at you with his usual dimpled smile. His hands were full as he held a cup tray of sodas.

“So, do you know where the room is?” Seungmin prodded, impatiently.

You swallowed, your eyes struggling to break away from admiring the long-haired boy. “Y-Yeah sorry. It’s just down there.” You pointed over at a door on the right side of the hallway.

Seungmin thanked you shortly after and headed towards the door. It took him a couple of seconds before he realized Hyunjin wasn't by his side but rather, still in front of you.

“You coming?”

Hyunjin looked over his shoulder, “Hm? Uh, in a sec. You can head in without me.” You could hear the ice in the sodas clink together as he turned back to face you.

The beanie Hyunjin wore prevented his hair from getting into his eyes. The color was periwinkle and it complimented his skin nicely.

Yeah, you definitely felt and looked like shit.

Silence followed subsequentially after Seungmin disappeared behind the studio door. You cleared your throat, “I didn't know you were back.”

His eyes brightened a bit when you spoke. Usually, he had to be the one to start the conversations when it came to you. “I came back last night.”

You nodded slowly, wanting to hear more about it. “How was home?”

“I mean, it was nice seeing my family and KKami,” he shrugged, “the weather wasn't too cold either, so that was nice.”

He paused, trying to think about what more he could say.

“... Ah—and I worked on my art a lot! I would love for you to see it.”

“Oh…” Your eyes grew slightly bigger at the second half of his response. “Me?” You were feeling like you didn't hear him properly.

“Yes! When you have time, of course,” he nodded giving you a warm smile. “But um… art aside, overall, I missed everyone a lot,” he proceeded to say regarding the conversation. He felt himself getting off track.

You wondered who fell under the category of everyone.

It had been so confusing these past few weeks with Hyunjin and you weren't too sure about what he was thinking. Maybe before you would have had an inkling, but now? You had no clue.

All you knew what that every time you looked at him you were sure of how you felt. You’d passed by each other and your heart raced and you were sure of how you felt. One day he was acting cute with you and the next it was awkward and you’d never speak.

“I’m sure everyone missed you too, Jinnie.”

It just made you unsure about everything on his end. He was never yours to begin with, but you couldn't live without him.

He laughed softly, “So does that mean you missed me then?”

You sucked in a breath, quietly, unsure of how to respond. Was he flirting? You weren't too sure if this was considered that. He was probably being nice… just like he was nice for inviting you to see his art.

Just as you were about to answer, the studio door opened, revealing Jisung.

His eyes instantly widened as he took in the view of the both of you, “Oh—um, sorry.” He suddenly felt bad for interrupting your time with Hyunjin. He quickly walked back into the room not bothering to wait for the both of you to respond.

You and Hyunjin both looked at each other for a moment before deciding to follow Jisung into the studio. Whatever was left of your slightly awkward conversation soon died out and suddenly you didn't need to go to the bathroom anymore now that Hyunjin was here.

Once entering, Seungmin was in the process of unpacking the food he had bought for everyone out of the bags. The smell alone made you want to smother him in a big hug because you were starving. You hadn't gotten a proper meal today yet because of how late you and Jisung were and there just wasn't any time for that beforehand.

By the time everyone sat and ate, the room was full of conversation. It seemed to be a mutual understanding between both you and Jisung that you both just weren't going to be needing the bathroom anymore anytime soon.

It was pretty obvious by how you sat beside Hyunjin and nearly laughed at everything he said.

Jisung was pretty sure that whatever it was that had you laughing so loudly every other minute couldn't have been that funny. He was a much better comedian than Hyunjin. Well, that's what he liked to believe anyway.

Soon enough everyone took the lunch break a bit too much to their leisure because Changbin was currently standing at the front of the room—with Chan by his side as his special assistant—in the middle of a game of charades.

This was obviously not the time for it, especially when the boys had paid money for this room to get work done. But a few games didn't hurt.

Changbin grabbed spun Chan around so everyone could see his back, and smacked his butt.

“Bin, you’re clearly mimicking Minho.” Seungmin blandly said immediately, which made everyone laugh. “Who else smacks ass?”

The boy sighed dramatically in defeat before plopping down on the couch. “You guys could’ve at least tried to act like it was good.” He took a long sip of his drink before speaking up, “Hyune, you’re next,” he called out. “Make it hard or else Seungmin’s going to win.”

Seungmin gave Changbin a quick sarcastic smile before directing his attention to his phone.

“I’m not good at this,” Hyunjin complained, laughing. He stood near the producing tables in an effort to somehow mimic one of the members of 3Racha someway. He was honestly just going to make it up on the spot.

Which he did… sort of. It was just really, really bad.

Changbin looked at the boy confused, “You need to be a little clearer than that my guy.”

“Take it easy on him,” Chan chuckled. “Just try it again Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin grabbed a pair of headphones from the table, not realizing that the wire had tipped over Jisung’s drink. It wasn't until his eyes caught a glimpse of the white cup on its side and sheets of paper starting to darken from the liquid seeping through it that he gasped.

"Oh shit!” He set the headphones back down and quickly picked up the cup hoping to prevent any more damage. But honestly, it was already too late.

Chan immediately stood up, speeding over to the scene. It took him a moment before he slowly lifted a notebook and looked over at Jisung who was busy listening to whatever nonsense Changbin had to say.

And as Jisung caught a glance at Chan’s expression, his lingering smile faded when he realized the notebook Chan had in his hands was his, except completely soaked with soda.

He shot up from his seat to see what happened and his heart almost broke at the sight. He saw his notebook—the one which housed literally every song from the past few years, ruined. There was no way this actually happened. He had to be dreaming.

“Hanji—Shit—I’m so sorry!” Hyunjin felt terrible.

Your eyes widened and you walked over to them to see what the commotion was about.

Jisung was completely silent. He honestly had no words. He was just overwhelmed with so many emotions and was afraid that if he did speak, he’d regret what would come out.

You gasped, as you watched him carefully go through the pages to see how much was destroyed. “Ji…” You knew how much this meant to him.

He sighed and closed his notebook, setting it right back down on the wet table.

And he walked out of the room.

Hyunjin’s face was pale, all the color basically sucked out of his face. This was all his fault, he thought. Why did he always have to go and ruin everything?

Chan swallowed, not knowing how to break the silence that overtook the entire room. He honestly never saw Jisung that angry before—neither have you. He was silent, not showing an ounce of emotion, and simply just left.

The tall boy began to panic. “What do I do? I fucked up—”

"It was an accident,” Chan sucked in a breath of air, picking up the notebook from the mess again and setting it off to a drier side of the table. He also knew how important this was for Jisung but he saw no point in shaming Hyunjin for it. It was already done. "Ahh... Binnie, can you grab some napkins? Let me go and check up on him.”

And you were about to offer to take his place and talk to Jisung yourself, but Chan already walked out of the room.

There was music that sounded loudly throughout the entire apartment.

It was nearly eleven at the night and soon enough your neighbors would start knocking at the front door because of it.

“What the fuck is he still on about?” Minho grunted as he stood up from the sofa. He was in the middle of trying to finish his show.

Your bedroom door was open so you glanced over at Minho from where you were seated at your desk, and watched him as he went and knocked on Jisung’s door.

Ever since the incident at the studio, Jisung had been so quiet—completely silent in fact. You felt like you were walking on eggshells around him for the first time in your life and it scared you because you never saw him like that before.

Usually, when he was upset, he’d get over it after a day or two. But now it had been almost a week since and you didn't know how to tackle it.

Sure, you’ve definitely been mad before—definitely too many times to count—but you always had him to help you out of it. He’d always suffocate you with hugs, bring you food, and refuse to leave your side until you cracked a smile.

But now that the situation was flipped, you weren't sure if acting all bubbly and joking around would help him feel better the way it had always worked on you.

Minho knocked again much more adamantly, “Jisung.” Still nothing. “We will get a noise complaint if you don’t turn your stupid music down.”

A few moments later, the music stopped and Jisung swung his door open. He brushed past Minho, who furrowed his eyebrows at the boy's borderline rude demeanor, and then proceeded to zip up his coat and put his shoes on by the door.

Where was he going?

Once he walked out, the apartment fell silent. You felt like a bystander, especially by the way you watched this all happen from your room.

If this was what he was like when he was mad, order would never be restored on Earth. There was no way.

The remaining boy, let out a loud breath, sitting back down on the couch and pressing resume. “I’m trying my best to give him the benefit of the doubt but…”

“I know,” you sighed. You understood where both of them were coming from. Jisung had been acting out irrationally ever since and it was so irresponsible. He hadn't even been replying to Chan or Changbin—so much so, they were worried and came over to check up on him.

But still, you felt sorry for him.

That was years of his hard work down the drain.

You grew worried about him now, wondering where he actually went. He probably shouldn't be alone out in public and you were afraid he’d get into trouble somehow. Maybe he went to the roof? You were name-dropping a few places in your mind, but the roof seemed like the most plausible option.

Standing up from your chair, you grabbed a hoodie and threw it on. Before leaving your room though, you made sure to grab the new notebook you had bought for him a couple of days ago. You weren't sure if he already had a new one by now, but you still wanted to give him it just in case.

You walked over to the front door to put on your shoes and Minho said, “Let me know when you find him.”

Of course, Minho was still upset with Jisung’s behavior, quite frankly he wanted to explode, but he was still his best friend. He knew that this was just his own way of coping with what happened.

You nodded, giving him a light smile before heading off to the rooftop of your building. You really hoped Jisung was there, frankly, you honestly had no other locations in mind that made sense.

He rarely went out and when he did, it was to his friend's houses. But since you already knew that he wasn't actively talking to any of them, that wouldn't be the case.

Once walking out of the elevator, you heard soft faded sounds of music playing from the farthest end of the roof. You smiled to yourself softly, quickly realizing that it had to be him.

You quietly walked over to him, sitting down beside him without a word. He was in the middle of taking a hit from his pipe, later blowing out the smoke. And now that you were there beside him, you honestly didn't know what to say. You didn't think that far ahead.

He glanced over at you, offering his pipe which you gladly accepted. You placed the colorful glass in between your lips as he lit the weed that was inside of it.

None of you said anything yet and for the first time, you felt an awkward tension arise between the both of you. You weren't good at consoling other people. It was just something that you struggled with your whole life.

So after taking a hit, you breathed out a simple, “I’m sorry.”

After a few more moments of silence, Jisung lightly scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“No, I’m sorry. You didn't deserve that,” you frowned. “How can I help?” He shook his head, releasing smoke into the cold air again. “Seriously, Ji I—”

His voice snapped and was much sterner this time around, “Stop it, Y/N. It doesn't matter anymore. It’s done and there's no going back now.”

You flinched at his tone and immediately his features softened once he realized.

“I…” He sighed. This was why he had been avoiding everybody. He didn't want to blow up or say anything that would make anyone feel bad. It would've made him feel even worse—seeing you now, made him feel worse. “I’m sorry. I really don't know why I’m like this.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. I know I’ve been annoying and I feel like shit knowing I’m stressing everybody out,” he quickly refuted. “I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I’m upset. I can’t not be upset.”

Within these past few days, he had been going through trials and tribulations. He knew Hyunjin didn't do it on purpose so he couldn't be too mad at him about that. He was just upset. And it was stupid because he was upset at Hyunjin more for stealing your heart away than ruining all the work he had down for the past few years.

It annoyed him so much because of this.

Hyunjin stole you and now the only other thing Jisung had for himself—his music.

He took a deep breath to himself, feeling a bit lightheaded now from all the weed he had smoked.

And he guessed that was how a person knew they loved someone: when their heart ached; when their stomach dropped; when their lungs felt like they were caving in, just because of the thought of them with someone else.

You placed something on the faux grass that suddenly captured his attention: a new notebook. “I know that it may not have everything your old one had, likewise, it never will—but I hope that you could at least make new memories with it?” You suggested.

His quiet music still played from the speakers of his phone and he could've sworn to himself that the world was moving in slow motion. Any normal best friend would've gotten their grieving friend another notebook if that was the reason for the sadness. It’s obvious.

But, the gesture was too much for his heart to handle. Especially when he was this high. Especially when he was this upset about himself—and you—and Hyunjin—and life.

Immediately his heart rate increased. “I love you,” he blurted out.

You laughed sweetly, not paying attention to the weight of his words. “I’m glad you like it, Sungie.”

“Too much—I love you too much,” he continued, quietly this time.

You shoved his shoulder gently. “Quit it. You're making me blush.” You tried to make the conversation turn into something light-hearted. Something you hoped to help his mood.

But he was slightly feeling even worse. You weren't taking him seriously.

After talking with Chan that one night a few weeks back, Jisung had tried his best to get you out of his mind. But even still, he found himself thinking of you late into every night, hoping that there was a chance that you might’ve fallen asleep thinking about him, even for a second.

He found himself making lists in his head of what new things made you laugh every day, just so he could hear it more and more. He found himself unable to look away even when you were just carelessly reading a book; sometimes, especially then.

He could not erase your beauty from his mind, because the moment he'd look at you from that different perspective, he could not go back. After seeing you as beautiful, he could never again just look at you with indifference.

So he kissed you—without warning, without permission, without even deciding to do it but simply because he couldn't have done anything else—he kissed you.

He was in pain, hurting, and all he wanted to do was feel you—you were the source of quite literally everything good and bad in his life. And he needed that breath you were holding because it belonged to him, and he wanted it back. So much so that he kissed you deeply enough that as he fought for what was his, you forgot whose air you were breathing.

The smell of your hair, the taste of your mouth, and the feeling of your skin seemed to have gotten inside him, moreover, into the air all around him. You had become a physical necessity.

"Ji…" You mumbled against his lips.

You were on the roof with a beautiful boy, and he was trying to tell you that he loves you, but you didn't care to listen. He loves you, you know?

The formerly quiet music was now concealed by both of your loud breaths. Once he moved his mouth to suck onto your delicate neck, lightly biting, that's when you whimpered, unable to keep your composure.

Seemingly so, it affected him the same because he pulled you on top of him so you straddled his waist. He didn't like the space between you and him. He moved his lips against your jaw, and your chin, and painstakingly slow down the left side of your neck until he was kissing the hollow at the base of your throat.

"Jisung." You breathed out again, your eyes beginning to feel heavy from the sensual feeling between your thighs. You weren't expecting this to happen. He tugged at your hoodie, beginning to pull it off, but you jumped at the sudden contact of coolness hitting your exposed skin. "Shit– Ji, we can’t," you whispered, pulling your hoodie back down.

"Why not?" He asked.

“Because.”

He tilted his head up slightly to look at you, his hands continuing to explore underneath your hoodie. “Because?”

Seconds later, his lips hovered themselves against yours again, lightly brushing over them. He gave you the one thing that you wanted most. He made you feel desired. You knew it was wrong but the very thought of his hands gliding up against your bare torso and touching you made you blush in all the right places.

“Honestly I thought you’d participate more,” he hummed. You moved your hips against his very much clear hard-on and he bucked his hips. "Fuck." He caressed as much of you as he could reach and kissed you hard. Tightening every muscle in his body. He had to force himself to not go back downstairs and throw you on his bed.

So what if Minho saw?

He wanted to go slow with you, for his sake. But it was just so hard. He wondered if there would ever be a time when he’d actually need foreplay to get hard with you.

You let out a half-chuckle, amused by how affected he was. “I'd participate.” You stopped grinding your hips and pushed away his hair from his forehead, endearingly. "But not today.”

It didn't quite hit him that he had basically confessed that he loved you until he felt you try to move from off his lap. His grip around your waist tightened.

He wondered if it could be so hard for you to love him.

Maybe tonight wasn't the night for you to know that. Maybe someday he’d tell you again, but instead, he’d write it and put the message in a bottle and throw it into the ocean hoping it would somehow reach you when the timing was right.

“Can we just stay like this?” He asked, suddenly afraid to look into your eyes. “Please.”

You gave him a warm smile, nodding.

He bit the inner corner of his cheek and squeezed his eyes shut in hopes of it maybe stopping him from saying anything he’d regret tomorrow. He leaned forward, his head fitting perfectly in the crook of your neck.

“Could it really be so hard to love someone like me?” he repeated to himself.

Letting out a wisp of smoke into the air, he reopened his eyes.

“Perhaps, it is.”

You checked your phone briefly to see if Minho had texted you but all your eyes captured was the time displayed. You began to get lost in the ticking of the clock you had imagined in your head.

“It’s 11:11 make a wish,” you whispered, setting your phone back down. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hug him closer and squeezed him a little tighter.

“I’ve got mine,” Jisung replied instantly and you were too curious to keep yourself from asking what wish provoked such a quick response. “Can I tell you?” He questioned, wondering if sharing a wish truly kept it from coming true.

“I don't know, write it down in your new notebook and tell me in a month,” you offered.

“How about in 20 years?” He asked with a contagious smile that you knew was there although you couldn’t see it.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Sure, that works too.”

He lifted his head from your neck and pulled away slightly. He stared at you while you were in the middle of asking him if he had felt better now, but the look in his eyes made you pause, "What?" You asked self-consciously.

He shook his head lightly. "Nothing," he said, maddeningly. You scrunched your nose in distaste. "I just," he said slowly, carefully. "I just want to hang out with you my whole life. You know?”

You made your way to the art studio with your hands both carrying a coffee each and with a pastry bag hugged against your chest. It was raining and you probably looked ridiculous without an umbrella, but you didn't mind as you were on your way to see your man that wasn't your man but was at the same time.

It was complicated.

Surely, the both of you hadn't been spending nearly as much time as before. But, you had hoped that now that he had invited you back to the art studio, things could go back to how they were.

Finally arriving, you used your shoulder to push open the parted door of the art studio since your hands were clearly already occupied. As you opened the door, Hyunjin turned his head to meet you, and his pink lips automatically curved into a smile.

Then, it took him half a second before gasping at the sight of you basically drenched from the rain.

He quickly stood up from his stool to assist you, "Oh no!" He helped you by taking the coffee and pastry bag from your hands and setting them down on a nearby table. “Let me get you an extra sweater.”

“Hyunjin, it's okay,” you waved off. “I’m not cold.”

He shook his head not wanting to hear it. “No, no—you can get sick. Wait here, let me get it from my bag.”

It took him a minute before locating his extra sweater from his dance bag. He quickly draped it over your shoulders and your heart did that thing again. The thing where it sped up ever so instantly. You were entering dangerous territory by having his clothing encompass you like this.

It smelled too much like him.

He gave you a dimpled grin, "Thank you for bringing these. You really didn't need to… especially since you got soaked in the process."

You chuckled, “Don't worry about it. I hope the pastries survived.”

He passed you one of the coffees you had brought. "They should be okay.”

It didn't really hit you until now that you were back at the place where you kissed Hyunjin for the first time. It had been a while since it happened and you couldn't help but feel your mouth grow dry from the thought of reliving it.

You took a sip of the lukewarm drink and looked at him.

It didn't take long for you to see the boy of your dreams staring right back at you, with his smile so wide and bright. He held a big canvas in his hands, ready to show you, and you felt content. You felt secure and safe around him. And when he looked at you, he made you feel so whole.

And it was simple, really. You wanted the feeling.

The feeling where the world stopped and started all at the same time. You wanted to feel the rest of the world fade away when that one person was holding your hand. You wanted to know a pair of eyes in a crowd that saw only you. You wanted that warmth—the kind of love that filled every space within you and spilled out into the rest of your world.

Coloring it with hope. And love. And that feeling that only true love can awaken in a heart.

The feeling of being whole.

Although his look alone could make you feel an adrenaline rush like you were high off him, there was something about the way he watched you as you were busy observing his work. It was like you had years of artistic experience and it was your opinion that only mattered to him.

It was almost six in the evening and there you were, still sitting beside him on a stool while he explained what everything meant in his piece. It was exciting and meaningful and pure—it was him.

He stopped speaking for a second, noticing your sudden gaze on him. You were too busy in thought. You really couldn't pinpoint a single flaw on his face.

He let out a breathy chuckle, "If you’re looking for a way out, I can stop." He didn't take much offense in it as art could sometimes be boring after a while, but you shook your head rather swiftly in response.

"No! I’m awake,” you cleared your throat. “I was just looking at you," you confessed bluntly.

He laughed loudly, his head dipping back slightly. "You're cute."

“You’re cute too.”

"I guess we make a pretty good team, then," he responded. You hadn't noticed how quiet the room had gotten afterward.

It was funny how much tension could construct itself out of thin air.

He stood up, grabbing a much smaller piece of work to replace the one you had just looked at. “Does this kind of remind you of anything?” He asked. You looked at the canvas, unable to understand what he meant. He saw how confusion narrowed in between your eyebrows and he giggled. “It's based on the book I gave you a while ago.”

You looked away and took a few moments to think to yourself before meeting his eyes. They were the ones that didn't seem to stray away from you during your short departure. “I haven't finished reading it yet.”

Of course, it was the truth but, you were nearly close to doing so. You could easily depict what he was trying to express in his work but you didn't want to ruin it.

You recalled how the girl in the book didn't fall in love with the boy when she first saw him. She didn't feel any change in heartbeat. Having those feelings for a random boy that she just happened to see often never crossed her mind.

But then the girl began to notice him, in the ways he spoke, how he chose his words carefully and politely. She began to notice how he always held the door for people and how he respected them. She noticed how he smiled at others and how he got others to smile and her.

She noticed all of those little details and moments and combined they showed her how beautiful of a person he truly was—-maybe that’s what made the girl fall in love with him completely.

He quickly removed the canvas and flipped it over, “Oh! I shouldn't spoil it then, huh?”

A small breath left your nose and you nodded. “Yeah. You can show me after I finish, okay?”

His eye contact was goosebump-inducing as his lips began curling into a smile while he muttered a sweet, "Okay."

You wished you could explain his eyes instead, and how the sound of his voice gave you butterflies. How his smile made your heart skip a beat and how every time you were literally just around him, you felt so nervous but so complete.

You just wished that you could show him how much he meant to you. Exceptionally so, that you wished you could let him take a look into your mind so that he would see for himself just how much you were in love with him. He was your world and you honestly would’ve spent every day for the rest of your life proving this to him if you could.

That you were wholeheartedly his. You’d always be for him.

“Let me show you this one instead!” He offered, setting another similar-sized canvas on the easel.

As he spoke, you looked over at him, wondering how you could begin to describe your feelings. His smile was so consuming that all you could see were the tops of his cheeks, and the fact that he could literally blind you with happiness was a perfect representation of the kind of effect he had on people.

He made you happy.

He didn't know the spell he casted over you. He didn't know how every time you were around him it felt like you were living your own self-made fairy tale. You were detached from the world, fallen completely into his—and you never wanted to leave.

You wanted the fairytale to go on and on, never wanting the story to end. You wanted to stay in this time and place forever, because, with him, there was nowhere else you’d rather be.

You looked at him like he was art and you held onto his words like they were falling stars.

"You give good advice," you said shortly after he finished explaining his thought process behind this piece of work.

He sheepishly smiled, "I know."

"... Maybe you should start taking it," you looked into his brown eyes in deep thought.

"Hm?"

You shrugged, tilting your head as you thought to yourself for a couple of seconds. You knew that ever since he had come back, he was having trouble readjusting to everything here. You acted like you didn't notice but he was so close to falling apart and you didn't want him to deal with it alone.

"I mean, you always call art beautiful and courageously mean it, but how is it that the most beautiful person doesn't realize that he too is all of those things and more?"

Maybe you were digging up a hole that he wanted to keep buried and maybe you did regret those words as soon as they left your mouth—but it was said and no matter how much you tried to somehow take it back, it was done.

He looked down at his lap, clearing his throat as he bit down on the bottom of his lip lightly.

Maybe you did cross a line this time. "You know what, forget I said any—" you started.

"Sometimes, I don't know…I just feel like," he groaned, not appreciating his inability to form his thoughts into coherent sentences. "I just feel like I don't really matter anymore—well, not Hwang Hyunjin me, but like me, me.”

He was the boy who fed into his insecurities and starved himself of potential.

“And it’s not like it's anybody’s fault! It’s really not—it’s just…” He was struggling immensely. “I want people to be happy, I always do. But now I feel like I’ve found myself trying more.”

He never usually said much, but his mind was a storm, his creativity insatiable; he was an enigma. Truly a mystery to you, but the depths of his eyes spoke volumes. His head housed the most intelligent conversations and although he never spoke them out loud all the time, you knew it.

He never said much, but in the end, that didn't matter. You read him so clearly and he had no idea.

You sighed, “Are you still hung up on what happened with Jisung?”

After that day, Hyunjin felt the worst he’d ever felt in a while. His thoughts were brutal. They were vicious, and mean, and picked out every flaw that he had.

His mind always won against his heart and they became too much for him. His heart became heavy and he needed to remind himself to breathe and that he was okay—that everything was okay—clearly knowing that it wasn't at all.

“Kinda,” he exhaled before he ran his hands down his face trying to sober up his dilemma. Suddenly his phone rang and it startled the both of you.

He glanced at the contact and sighed to himself again before turning to look at you with a frown. He felt guilt wash over him as he saw the contact although you couldn’t see it for yourself.

You were too busy trying to find the words to tell him that you liked that he trusted you enough that he was willing to confide in you.

He paused for a moment, and as you were about to say something, he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, I need to go.”

“Can you like… stop using your phone?” You snatched Jisung’s device from his hands and hid it underneath your leg. “We’re watching a movie.”

He groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. “Well, the movie you chose is lame. Right Lix?”

Felix looked up from his phone, “Huh?”

You rolled your eyes, “You guys suck.”

It was the weekend before finals began and you had sacrificed your studying time to hang out with your friends. Felix was finally free from his theatre escapades for the semester and suggested a night of baking and watching movies.

You weren't even too sure how Jisung managed to sneak his way into these plans. He had been spending an awful amount of time locked in his room lately, granted, he was trying to catch up on everything he lost. But today he had left for a couple of hours, probably to meet up with his friends, and somehow made it just in time for the movie to begin.

Yet, of course, they took you for granted and clearly wasted your time though.

Felix set his phone down, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “Okay, I’m sorry! I’m done.”

You squinted at him, testingly. “Really?” He nodded and gave you a pinky promise.

“Okay, wait—why won't you take Felix’s phone too?” Jisung pointed out from the side. You shushed him before redirecting your attention back to the movie.

In their defense, the movie was actually pretty bad. You didn't want to agree with them though because technically, it’d be your fault for choosing a horrible film then.

As a matter of fact, before watching the movie, you wished Minho hadn't been busy preparing for his dance final so he could stay and spend time with you all. But now, you were thankful he had other plans. He would’ve eaten you alive for wasting his time like this.

Once the movie came to an end, Felix ran to the kitchen to check on the brownies.

Jisung held his palm out to you, “Phone please.”

“You’re so annoying.” You chuckled, placing it into his hand nonetheless. “This is why you don't have an ‘M’ on your palm, loser.”

You were referring to the old childhood myth behind the meaning of palm lines.

Apparently, if the lines managed to create an ‘M’ letter, then it meant that you would get married in the future. It was stupid, you both knew it. But it was a debate you two had sometimes when you were younger.

“I might not have an ‘M’ but,” Jisung opened your hands and began to trace tiny little circles on the lines of your palm, "didn't you know? I can read palms too." He concluded it with a sarcastic gasp.

Your eyebrows rose as you looked at the boy with an amused expression, "Oh really?" He nodded and you studied the boy for a few moments not believing him in the slightest, but went along with it anyway. "Fine, what's my future then?"

"Us."

You sat up, now laughing as you threw a pillow at him. "I can't believe you just said that.”

He brought a hand up in defense, "Listen, I just made that up on the spot. You should be proud of me that I am still able to do that even though my brain is fried."

Not bothering to entertain him any longer, you joined Felix in the kitchen and the both of you snacked on brownies. As much as you wanted to say you did most of the work when it came to baking it, Felix was the pro. He had many years of brownie baking on his belt.

The both of you managed to spend the rest of the evening talking about life and honestly anything else that was interesting or new. You could tell that both of you needed it. He’d been overworking himself the entire semester so to finally be done, was so rewarding. Plus, talking to Felix was always like a breath of fresh air.

By the time he left, it was nearly ten o’clock. You weren't too sure if Jisung was still home since his bedroom door was closed and he wasn't anywhere in the living room. So, you went back onto the couch and kept yourself busy with your phone.

You should've really been studying though because shortly after, Jisung peeked his head through his door. It seemed like it was all the more reason for him to bother you.

“Is he gone?” He whispered even though it was sort of loud.

You raised an eyebrow, “Who? Felix?” He nodded. “Yeah, he just left.”

Without a word, he walked over to where you were on the couch and basically snuggled up against you—more so his entire body nearly on top of you.

"Ji, what are you doing?" You questioned him.

He nestled himself in a little more, "Making sure you're comfortable."

"And how will you accomplish that by lying on top of me?"

"I won't." A shadowy grin appeared on his face although you couldn't see it. "I'm just doing that because I like lying on top of you.”

"Well, I don't," you rolled your eyes. His chest brushed against yours, sending a velvet shiver through you.

"That's a lie."

You huffed, letting his clinginess be. This was normal Jisung behavior anyway. So, you stuck to using your phone some more.

After a few silent minutes, the faded noise of the television still present, Jisung lifted his head up to look at you. "Just so you know, if you want my lips on any piece of you, I'm more than willing to appease you,” he said suddenly.

Your mouth dropped.

"And my willingness to comply extends to my hands, my fingers, and my dic-”

"Oh, my gosh," you cut him off. “You could’ve just said you were horny instead of listing all your… services.”

"Services?" He tipped his head toward you. "That sounds so dirty."

“Jisung.”

“Yes?”

"You're so annoying." You sighed, obviously frustrated by him.

He lightly smirked, "What? How?" You gave him a look. “So annoying, that you wouldn't walk straight the next day? Or, so annoying that you want me to get off of you?”

You couldn't help but feel the familiar chills run down your back and hit you ten times harder. Suddenly you were too desperate for his touch and taste in a matter of seconds. Desperate enough that your inner thighs begged for a kiss and you wanted his lips to make it rain.

"What's with the weird eyes? Relax, I was joking," he laughed and began to lift himself from your body.

You pulled him back on you almost immediately, "I was just thinking about how big you are."

You briefly glanced down at your joined hands. He carefully stroked the length of your palm with his thumb. And when you looked at each other again, his eyes were a little darker.

"Yeah? I'll fit you just right."

Now guiding your hand to rest over his hard-on, you felt the entire length of him. He let you, of course, but still kept a distance probably in an attempt to tease you. It was bothersome.

So you took it upon yourself and kissed your way up to the corner of his lips, and he finally turned his head and swallowed your sigh in his mouth.

The kiss was wet and rough, maybe a little annoyed. Your tongue slid against his, and a flame pulsed to life in your lower belly. Goosebumps scattered your skin and you pressed your thighs together.

You looked over your shoulder at his bedroom. It was so close it would take maybe a few big strides to be pushed back down onto his mattress. His tongue could be on your skin in under thirty seconds.

"If you're going to fit me so well, show me then.”

He nipped your bottom lip, "I will."

In a matter of seconds, the both of you stumbled into his room, making sure to close and lock the door behind you. Minho would probably be home soon so the two of you needed to be careful.

"Kiss me," he whispered and that was all it took for you to kiss him like every fiber of your being was dying, and he was your medicine. And oh did it feel like it, because suddenly, you were more alive. You felt stronger. You consumed him like a drug, inhaling and exhaling.

People made mistakes. They kissed the wrong people and pretended to be okay. They would do anything to distract their hearts, and they would do anything to deviate it from missing someone.

Was that what you both were doing? Surely, that was the case...

There was no doubt that Jisung had this extraordinary energy about him that consumed and calmed you all at once. The way he dismantled your defenses and challenged you at every turn helped you to become a stronger and more passionate person. And despite your resistance to admitting it, you felt capable of anything around him and couldn't help but believe that he brought out your best self.

He brought out the best in you, and you didn't mean better manners, or a sense of maturity, or whatever else this tired world expected of you. You meant that he just made you want to climb roofs, run wild, and act inappropriately, take risks, and pursue your dreams with passion and integrity.

Around him, you were living.

And to him, you were not just the two a.m. thoughts when he was alone in his bed. You were the three p.m. laughs when he was busy with his friends, the six p.m. dinner when he was in the kitchen, and the ten p.m. songs when he was writing new lyrics. You were always on his mind.

You were the most beautiful thing he’d ever felt, and he was convinced you’d remain the most beautiful thing he’d ever feel. Did you know how limiting that was?

To think at such a ripe young age he’d experience the most exhilarating person he’d ever meet, and he’d spend the rest of his life just… settling. To think he tasted the most natural rawest form of sugar and everything else would be refined and synthetic.

That nothing beyond this moment would add up. That all the years beyond him could not combine themselves to be sweeter than you.

He grabbed the back of your neck and then kissed you deeper and slower. He kissed you until your heartbeat continued to throb between your legs. A frenzy burned through your blood.

You pressed your body to him, tracing your nails down his clothed stomach, and tugged at the belt loop of his pants. He made a rough sound in his throat, but his lips began to slow down against yours.

When you realized he was pulling away, you moaned in frustration.

His thumb brushed over your mouth. "Are you sure you're in love with Hwang Hyunjin?" His tone was ridiculing and teasing.

"I am," you protested trying to close the distance between your lips again.

You were surely acting like it, he wondered. He stifled a light laugh and you could feel the coolness of his breath against your face. “Then tell him.”

And it wasn't until later that night he regretted even bringing Hyunjin up. He was prepared for what was to come, but it still hurt.

The both of you lay in Jisung’s disheveled sheets, finally clothed again.

"Jisung?" You voiced out, your fingers traced his arm lazily and you were trying to fight off the heavy slumber you felt dawn over you.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever regretted it?" You asked.

He paused for a moment. “Regretted what?”

“You know… kissing me… sleeping with me. All of it.”

"Of course not," he stated. Even though he wasn't too sure what the truth wholly was. No matter how happy you made him, he believed that there would always be a part of him that kind of regretted everything. "Why would you even think that?"

You shrugged and settled your head on his shoulder. "I—I’m not sure. I guess it’s just—"

That night you let him see what made your world spin. And for you, those were your dreams.

But not just any dreams—dreams about love and passion. You shared with him your words and your feelings. There were quotes, stories, and hopes. All the inner workings of your mind were captured in these dreams. Dreaming about the boy you loved was the only thing that kept you sane.

You turned Hyunjin into a metaphor and thought of him as everything from a drug to a hurricane.

And there you laid, legs entangled, speaking about a boy that you loved again to another who struggled to cope with his own feelings. Your eyes glistened as you spoke of Hyunjin. You spoke about him like he would move mountains for you.

But Jisung, he would've moved mountains for you too. You didn't know that though. You would never know that. Because as he gazed at the galaxies in your eyes like star watching was one of his favorite things to do, you were too lost in your thoughts of another to notice anything.

You loved Hyunjin’s everything just like Jisung did—but with you. He guessed, the only difference was that he knew you wouldn't have chosen him.

So that night, you smiled and leaned on Jisung’s shoulder, half-clothed, as you told him your masterpiece. It was breathtaking. It was you—undeniably you.

You giggled and turned to him and placed your finger against his lips—and all he could think about was what it would've felt like to have you say all these things about him.

But then you said, "I want to tell him." Your voice was so quiet and he realized just how still the whole world felt as your breaths became the same.

His heart stopped. “Oh.” He didn't expect you to take to his advice from earlier. It happened in the heat of the moment and he wasn't thinking straight. It was a joke. And part of him began to hope that you were joking with him too, calling the whole thing off—to take it back right now.

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head, “He better not be an idiot. I hope he knows he’s got something special.”

Jisung wouldn’t show it, and he really hoped you couldn’t tell either, but it felt like a ton of bricks were laid perfectly on top of his heart.

You laughed weakly as you still felt tired. "It’s just—” You were stuck over how to ask him. “How do you know when it's over though? That it wouldn’t work out?"

Sleep crept up to your eyes and you closed them, letting them rest. “Just for a moment,” you told yourself.

The boy beside you heard your breaths get heavier and gazed down to see that you had fallen asleep before he could even answer.

A sad smile crept onto his lips and he softly pressed a kiss to your temple.

"It's in the silence.”

The last dance practice for the semester had just come to an end and you were in between the idea of either throwing up your lunch or just running away forever. Neither seemed really plausible though considering you actually enjoyed your lunch and you had your last final tomorrow, so you needed to be present.

Either way, you were nearly about to defy all things appropriate and dissipate with good reason, of course.

Confessing. You nearly struggled to breathe for a moment. It shouldn't be too hard. Hyunjin had to feel something for you, right? After all, you both had been through together—all the memories—he had to.

Before, it sounded insane to even contemplate, but your mind otherwise convinced itself that something was definitely there. All the talks, laughs, glances across the rooms—something had to be there.

And as much as you wanted to call it bluff just so it wouldn't get your hopes up too much for when the truth came out, you couldn't bring yourself to do so. No matter how many times you fell into your thoughts, they all somehow reminded you about everything beautiful that came along with him—Hyunjin.

His soft skin, his scent, the crescents in his eyes that shined a bit too much it was almost blinding. He was endearing and captivating, and everything you had ever wanted. Surely, the most exquisite in human form.

He had to feel the same.

You found yourself outside of the dance studio knowing who was waiting behind the door, and you shuttered at the thought of leaving the room either the happiest girl in the world or the saddest.

You didn't want to sound too selfish, but you wanted him all to yourself. And it was with that desire, you felt the need to confess.

Sure, your late-night conversation with Jisung somehow, someway, made you actually want to pursue it. A part of you was bluffing when you told him that you would do it—you were half asleep in fact. You were hoping for your friend to talk you out of it—out of the so-called crazy idea—but he didn't.

And now that you were separated from Hyunjin by only a door, you couldn't help but want to take the easy way out of it, which was simply just leaving.

But you were bound to tell him at some point, regardless of Jisung’s input—regardless of your nerves and lack of confidence.

Well, that’s what you liked to believe anyway. You just didn't expect it to be so soon.

You hesitantly opened the door, walking in to be greeted by the boy that you couldn't ever stop thinking about. Although practice had already concluded a while ago, he was still in the middle of the empty studio in the midst of practicing. You wanted to simply melt onto the ground as you locked eyes through the mirror.

He was a symbol of your weakness.

He didn't have to do anything to make you fall for him, and you didn't fall for him because of what he could or couldn't do for you. You fell for him simply because he was unapologetically himself—you fell for him for everything he was and everything he was not.

He was so perfectly flawed, but also perfectly himself.

He turned around to face you, "Y/N?"

You were still by the door, scared to fully make your way into the room. "Hey..." Your eyes trailed him as he headed towards his bag.

"What are you doing here?" He grabbed a water bottle from inside. It gave you enough time to make your way to him, slowly, at your own pace. He took a long sip, parting from the bottle with a soft smile. “I thought you were studying for your exam.”

You exhaled lightly, letting out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, I was going to."

He placed the clear bottle back into his bag and peered over at you. Slightly knitting his eyebrows together, he refocused his attention back toward you. “Do you want me to help you?”

“Huh? No, no… that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I’m just messing around in here before the studio closed for the semester but I can make some time—”

You shook your head, “Jinnie. I…” Your train of thought was faulted by the look in his eyes. He waited for you to finish but he distracted you. Was he aware of how you just couldn't speak anymore?

You just didn't understand how anybody could look the way that he did. He had the prettiest eyes and the warmest yet most killer stare. You wanted answers. You wanted him to take accountability for it—for everything.

But quite frankly, you didn’t even think he would ever because he probably didn't know it.

"I... I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you finished quietly.

Hyunjin grew quite curious and it was evident in the way his eyebrows softened at your tone. He nodded before sitting on the ground and patting the spot beside him for you to join him. You sat down, both of your bodies parallel to each other.

You sighed.

He wasn't sure what direction you were headed in. Something was clearly bothering you. Many thoughts flooded into his mind as he listed different possible explanations that could've left you this way.

“Is everything okay?”

"Do you know what you do to me?" You abruptly stated as the butterflies in your stomach began to erupt—so much that they could've lifted you up.

He stopped his mind from wandering further and froze. This was what was happening?

You shouldn't be doing this.

"I get lost in your eyes, all the time actually—and whenever I hear your name I get tripped out so easily..."

Were you making a fool out of yourself? You really didn't know. Your mouth was just moving on its own and you lacked control.

"—And you'd always look into my eyes and show this wide grin. I always asked why you did it, but you’d shake your head and ignore the question." You tried your best to avoid his piercing eye contact. "Maybe that's why I fell for you."

You finally met his gaze but he broke it away almost immediately. That was when you felt your heart shatter into a million little pieces like a sheet of glass.

You thought that somehow, someway, you were getting closer to the truth and knew it. You see, deep down, a part of you always knew that nothing would really happen between the both of you. You believed that maybe those types of things were only possible in a world you could only possibly dream of.

Surely, Hyunjin seemed to just be the person of your dreams... so much so, you felt sorry that you fell. You were so sorry. Sorry that despite his refusal to look at you now, you still found his soul absolutely enchanting, fascinating, and breathtakingly beautiful.

It took him a minute before taking a deep sigh, "Y/N."

You always dreamt of all the moments you were never going to have. You guessed that this was just your way of dealing with the fact that he didn't want you—and he probably never will. And despite how badly you wanted him to reciprocate your feelings, what you both had was ruined.

And so you came up with a separate reality in which everything was okay, where he was by your side and where he finally would fall.

Hyunjin wanted to tell you that he knew your favorite color and your favorite book and the way you’d always talk to yourself whenever you got annoyed. He wanted to tell you that he prided himself in the fact that he memorized the way your mouth would curve into a smile.

He wanted to tell you that he would be there for you on the bad days too. He wanted to continue to hear you laugh and see your eyes glow in gold, just to know that you were happy.

And he really wanted to tell you too that you had completely captivated him—but instead, he sympathetically looked at you, his eyes finally meeting yours once again.

He knew that you both couldn't be together because he was supposed to be in love with someone else, and well because, someone else had fallen for you too.

Hyunjin noticed it for the first time a couple of months back that Jisung was in love with you.

He nearly called himself stupid when he realized it. How could he have been so blind? So oblivious to everything. How could no one else realize that when you walked into the room, Jisung would suck in his breath at the very sight of you?

There was that silence. The kind of silence Jisung spoke about. You weren’t too sure if you imagined him saying it but it didn't hurt any less.

"I-I’m sorry—I don't know why I just said that.” You were beginning to panic.

He looked over at you, tracing every feature of your face like he had a million times before, and his heart began to beat to the rhythm of your short breaths. He turned away. “We can’t do this. I…”

This all could've been easily solved if he had brought himself to confess that he felt something for you. But he couldn't.

It made sense to him—it all did. How you’d always admire him silently when he wasn't looking. He always saw something in your eyes when he did catch you staring though; a shine of wonder.

If only you knew how much those little moments mattered to him too.

But now you were left confused and heartbroken by the boy who always told you that you were amazing, but seemingly enough, wasn't good enough to commit to.

"We started this at a strange time in my life,” Hyunjin said softly. “I was broken and sad and in serious need of someone to listen. I was that guy that needed someone by his side to feel validated. And you were beautiful and charming and most importantly broken too.”

You hated how you felt like shit and you hated how he looked at you—as if he felt bad for you.

He sighed, “I didn't realize you were just as damaged as me when I met you. But that's why we clicked, wasn't it? I was messed up over a girl—over life—and you were the one constant that made me feel sane.”

Your breathing stilled. Messed up over a girl? Until it clicked. “Bora?”

He looked at you with concern, as if he never meant to hurt you the way that he did.

“I still love her Y/N.”

It was silent for a moment before your voice broke, "Still?”

Jisung hadn't told you? Hyunjin wondered to himself. He had expected Jisung to tell you about her the second she showed up that night at the club and also at the party.

You on the other hand wished you could rid yourself of the parts of you that beg for understanding. The parts of you that desire an answer to the question, “Why did you choose her over me?” Because there was no real answer. It was never about you. He simply chose to be with her. You were an innocent casualty.

But still, you were always going to love him more, weren't you?

Words didn't seem easy anymore to Hyunjin. Everything he’d said and will continue to say would only worsen everything. “I—uh, I met her when I was away and I just… We just fell in love and—I’m sorry.” He felt ashamed.

“Why are you sorry?” You quickly refuted. “You can’t help how you feel.” You cleared your throat, shifting in your seated position. The boy beside you could tell how much the color drained from your cheeks. "It was my fault for getting attached to you," you said and your voice cracked, "both of us knew it wouldn't have worked out anyway.”

His heart stung.

He wanted to tell you everything that you wanted to hear—to make you happy. To tell you that he felt the same way, unapologetically. But he couldn’t—not when he knew couldn't be the guy you needed him to be.

If he told you that, you would've told him that anything he did would've been enough and begged him to stay. To have him would make you throw away quite literally any sense of morality just because he was who he was, and you loved him because of that.

Every day you woke up and thought about him, and you hated it. Why did you have to be the one to get so attached? It didn't seem fair.

And it wasn't right—Hyunjin knew that. So he wished that you’d become full of so much happiness that it healed every part of you. There was a whole world out there waiting for you. Great cities and art and music. Genuine beauty, and you could have it all, but without him.

You guessed, deep down, you both were bound to end, and he would be the one to end it. You just kind of hoped that maybe he would have loved you too—enough to fight against it, you know?

He pulled you into his chest and you didn't fight it. You were in the process of growing numb. "I care about you Y/N, I will always be here for you,” he assured you while gently running his fingers through your hair.

Hyunjin was everything you needed, but you weren't that for him. You knew he cared about you, but you also knew that he didn't care enough to try. And yet, you didn't know which was worse.

You should have never texted him that one day that led into another and another and soon became a daily thing, morning and night, to text him and pray he would respond as fast as he did.

You shouldn't have ever gotten your hopes up as high as you did when Jisung told you there was the slightest chance that Hyunjin was interested in you. You should have never kissed him back that night in the art room; it wouldn’t have led to even more hope.

Then maybe it wouldn’t hurt this bad.

Hyunjin only wanted you when it was okay for him. You were the second option. You were his backup when he had nothing else to do. You were the one he’d give up for someone else. Easily replaceable.

His second option.

But knowing this didn't change the fact that now when you pictured him and Bora together, you wondered why it was her instead of you; and when you thought of him holding her hand, you wondered why it was her instead of you; and when you imagined him kissing her lips, and touching her face, and lying in bed beside her at night, you wondered why it was her instead of you.

When you thought of the moment when he chose to share his life with her instead of you, you couldn't help but analyze your components, piece by piece, in an attempt to figure out which fault of yours led him to that choice.

You really wanted to be her. You so badly wanted to be her.

Yet, tables tended to turn quite quickly on this Earth now that his presence was no longer on your plate, how bitter. And now you were left a mess wondering if you had ever meant anything to him at all.

Letting him hold you, you whispered something that confused him, "No, you don't care. But that's okay."

It didn't take too long for Jisung to get back home that night.

You had locked yourself in your room for the rest of the evening, hearing Minho come and leave the apartment every so often. You were hurting so badly that you were even desperate enough to sacrifice Minho knowing everything, just so you could cry your heart out and be heard by someone.

But that was easier said than done. If you had to tell Minho the entire story, it would have opened your wound even more. Plus, if you were being honest, he probably didn't even think that you were home to begin with. Usually, he’d call out for you or knock on your door, but he didn't.

So instead of bringing yourself to his attention, you rather continued to fester in the darkness of your room, trying your best to deal with everything alone. And you were attempting—like really, really trying to do it so you could push the thought of Hyunjin out of your mind.

But with a knock at your bedroom door, everything was ruined.

You stayed silent for a few moments, looking at the dimly lit white-framed door.

“Y/N.” Jisung muttered, lightly knocking once more. “What’s going on with you? I’ve been texting you all night.”

You weren't too sure of what to respond with. You hadn't been on your phone since everything happened and you were pretty sure it was still somewhere at the bottom of your school bag.

“I know you're in there, your sneakers are by the front door.”

Wiping your wet nose, you rolled your eyes. He was so stupidly annoying even at a time like this. He’d never let you rest over your damaged sneakers.

You stood from where you sat and walked over to unlock the door for him. As much as you wanted to be alone, there wasn't any reason to hide yourself from Jisung. Not like this—not anymore. He knew everything about you and he’d continue to do so, always.

When you opened the door, he immediately noticed your tear-stained cheeks and his heart dropped. Had you done it?

You tried your best to smile at him. "Hi, Sungie."

It was so much easier to act like none of it mattered, and to pretend to wear a smile than to confess that your heart was broken from losing someone who was never even yours to begin with.

But there didn't seem to be a reason to fake it in front of him. He deciphered everything about you within a matter of seconds. He didn't fall for your act and without a word, he engulfed you in a hug.

You didn't resist, instead, letting your body go limp as the boy hugged you. You didn't want to cry anymore, but the feeling of his arms around you made it so fucking hard. You were just so tired and drained.

The both of you stayed like that for what felt like minutes, his hands stroking up and down your back. As much as you were hurting during every moment of it, Jisung felt like his world was crashing down too. Seeing you like this, so quiet, so hidden—you didn’t deserve it.

"It's his loss," he hummed against you.

Your heart fell for a moment. You lifted your head from against his chest and voiced your concerns quietly. “W-What?”

He sighed, gently brushing the hair that stuck onto your forehead away. “Hyunjin. It’s his loss.”

He wanted to tell you—to express to you that you deserved to be chosen undoubtedly over and over and over again—not merely considered.

Seeing you like this did so much more to him than you could have ever imagined.

But you wanted to tell Jisung that—to Hyunjin, he didn't lose anything. He just wasn't interested. It was as simple as that. He was good at making people believe that they were more important than they actually were.

Jisung was hesitant when asking, “What happened?”

You tipped your chin back to look at him fully. “Nothing happened,” you admitted, eventually. You shoved aside your pride and felt the words scorching your tongue. “He just… didn't want me the way that I wanted him.”

You kept telling yourself that if Hyunjin wanted to talk to you—wanted to be with you, he would’ve. It’d only take a second of his time to text you, maybe even to tell you that he had made a mistake and loved you all this time.

In all honestly, you were disappointed that he occupied your mind and that your heart still jumped whenever you thought about receiving a text or a call hoping that it was him. Simply hoping that he would tell you that he wanted you instead of her.

"And I think he knew," you continued after a while, "It just didn't matter enough for him to care."

Jisung was struggling to keep his composure against you when in reality, he really wanted to give Hyunjin the worst punch in the world for doing this to you. But what did he expect though? His friend had been seeing another girl this entire time, quite frankly, he should’ve told you about Bora to begin with.

Was this all his own fault then?

He gently grabbed your hands, interlocking his fingers with your own. Your palms were warm—fingers so soft. It was something he always loved.

He guided the both of you over to your bed to sit. “You know what I see?” For a few moments, he studied you, taking in your frayed tank top and bare legs.

You tilted your head, waiting for him to go on. The moonlight that peered into your room from the window dimly lit the carpet beside your bed. It gave you both just enough light to take in each other.

“I see a beautiful girl with an amazing heart and a corrupted mind,” he said.

Confusion marred your otherwise flawless features.

He continued, “Thoughts and ideas damaged by broken promises and lies. I see a girl whose mind is constantly battling with her heart because her heart chooses to feel what her mind chooses to ignore.”

To Jisung, you deserved someone who loved you with every single beat of their heart, someone who thought about you constantly, someone who’d spend every minute of every day just wondering what you were doing, where you were, who you were with, and if you were okay.

You needed someone who could help you reach your dreams and who could protect you from your fears. You needed someone who would treat you with respect, and love every part of you, especially your flaws.

You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.

You paused for a short while, unable to figure out what to respond with. He was more than right—you weren't dumb. Your mind could tell wrong from right, but your heart struggled immensely to comprehend that. You really wished it did though. It would have made everything a hundred times easier.

Suddenly, the rain, which had been lightly falling all night, began to pick up in speed. You closed your eyes getting lost in the sound of it, the thought of the cold water against your skin spread peace throughout your body for a moment.

One of Jisung’s hands remained interlocked with your fingers, and the other was caressed your bare thigh. He held you like you were his lifeline and he was scared to release you.

"You have to let it all go.” He traced his thumb over yours, still moving every so softly to keep your emotions at bay. “The way he kissed you, the way he smelled, the way he touched your waist and pulled you in. You have to try to let it go and you have to try to let him go."

“It’s not that easy, Jisung. I can’t just forget.”

You understood that love wasn't always flowers and chocolates. It wasn't always afternoon cuddles or laughing together at two in the morning. Sometimes it was crying and begging them to stay.

Sometimes it was screaming at the wall because you heard something you didn't want to hear and a part of you just broke inside. Sometimes it was staying up all night, wondering why you weren't enough. Or it was sometimes self-doubting yourself because you wanted to know what she had that you didn't.

“I know that,” he mumbled. “I know that it’s hard.”

You see as much as you thought you knew everything about the boy beside you, you didn't.

Jisung was aware that love was sometimes scrubbing your skin at four in the morning in the shower, trying to wash away their smell. Of course, it wasn't fucking easy. Love wasn't always romantic. It was painful and it would sometimes tear you apart.

To him, words were beautiful. To produce them, he allowed his fingers to move about in a rhythmic and rather therapeutic manner. Those movements then delivered his thoughts and emotions into the minds of human beings who couldn't be reached by the sound of his voice.

He thought it was time for him to start understanding that you were now just one of those people that was out of his reach. He wanted to ask you what it felt like to be told you were perfect in every way and will always be taken care of.

He wanted to convey the emotions that ripped through someone like himself. He wanted to express the hope and loyalty that was instilled inside him—the kind that was built up wall after wall, only to feel as though they were peacefully torn down by someone like you, who pulled him deeper into your love.

“I know that it’s hard, Y/N,” he repeated, “and you’re right, it’s hard to forget.”

You nodded, “If I could I woul—”

He cut you off. “But I just can't do it.” He bursted out, his eyes suddenly began to fill to the brim with tears.

Your eyes widened at the sight, taken off guard by his abrupt tone and reaction. “What?”

He shook his head and looked up to keep himself from looking at you. “I just can't watch you love him like that.”

“Like what?” You asked, cupping his face so he could meet your eyes. You traced in his dark orbs, hoping to quickly find an answer to his unexpected outburst. “What are you talking about?”

Jisung knew you would never look at him the way you did Hyunjin. He felt like he was being selfish with his emotions now.

“Like he’s everything you ever wanted.”

And suddenly now, while you both stared at each other at that very second, he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted more, he wanted more than just looks and brushes of arms and legs and the stupid endless teasing and meaningless fucking on your end.

He wanted to taste your lips and your neck and everything, again, like always. But this time, he wanted to pull you in and never let you go.

"I'm in love with you," he blurted out. "I’ve been for all my life, actually, but you've never noticed because you never paid attention."

Your heart dropped nearly twenty stories and you felt lightheaded. He could feel your body tense up as you sat still, slowly struggling to breathe properly.

"I have never loved anyone as I love you." He continued, confessing. Was there a chance you could believe him this time? "I can't put it into words—there are none that come close to expressing how I feel."

You shook your head, loosening your grip against his palm and removing his hand from your leg. “Jisung, stop it. You don’t love me—”

This had to be a joke. Just like when he said it before on the rooftop—yeah, that's what it was. He saw you in your emotional state and thought this would be a funny prank to get you to laugh, right? You were still very upset from earlier so he should've expected you to not—hmm, maybe if he pulled this stunt again next week, you would’ve cracked a laugh from it.

Your mind was very convincing to you.

“I love you!” He shouted, the impact of his words lost on you.

“Be fucking for real.” You still weren't taking him seriously. “This isn't funny.”

“Funny? I have loved you since the day I met you, and since then, you’ve been driving me crazy Y/N. My thoughts can't fucking move without constantly being drawn back to you.” Hand-dropping, his voice cracked as he continued. “You’re it.”

You were his world. But he wasn't yours, and he would never be.

He proceeded to pour his heart out, unable to realize what damage he was creating while doing so. "It’s you. It’s always been you.”

He was so vulnerable, and you tried your best to understand how suddenly, in a matter of seconds, his heart was in your hands.

“I can’t describe it anymore, it is you. You are the only one that I will ever want. I belong with you. You are my home. I look at you, and somehow I can see us fifty years from now on the front porch of some old house in the middle of nowhere and we're together.”

You stayed silent as everything ever good in your life came crashing down on you. This didn't sound like a joke anymore. And suddenly, just by searching his dark eyes from where you sat, the countless times he tried to express to you of his endless love began to show. Each time he poured his heart out to you, you never noticed.

He paused to take a breath. “And as pathetic as it sounds, I need you. You are the only thing that matters to me. You are my only constant. You are my good."

“No, no, no. You must be confused.” You shook your head for what seemed like forever. “Please just talk to me tomorrow—”

You attempted to stand up in an attempt to open your door so he could leave but he grabbed your arm. “What?” His voice broke. You were starting to make him feel like a crazy person.

You sat back on your bed with broken stars in your eyes and burnt promises on your tongue, and you told him after a brief pause, “Jisung, you and I both know that your life would be so much easier without me.”

He continued to sit by your side, taking your hand into his like before. He was close enough that your arms and hips and legs still touched and he said, “But not better.”

By now, your eyes were looking around at everything except his. In some measure, you wanted to cut open his mind and let yourself into the secret world he had created just for you, but, you were scared of what you would find.

This wasn't what you had expected. It wasn't anything you could have ever imagined. Because he tried to be poetic in the way that he loved you, but it was so passionate he couldn't string words together in any way that made sense to you.

So there it was; the silence.

You wanted to speak—to answer—but words couldn't formulate your emotions the same way he couldn't describe the way it felt to have his heart ripped to pieces.

During the haunting stillness, Jisung finally figured out why it hurt so much. He was stuck in limbo, the liminal space between what you both were and whatever came next. It wasn't good for either of you.

Sure, he attempted to move on after listening to Chan’s advice but he couldn’t. It took him days of staring at the ceiling at four in the morning and numerous discussions with himself before he woke up one morning and decided that he wanted you still.

However, he knew, logically, that what you both had was done now; your silence is more than enough proof.

But he couldn't help but wonder if this time, the silence—your silence—fostered hope, that small "what-if" in the back of his mind. And even the smallest glimpse of hope was enough to keep him here in front of you, trapped in this uncertainty.

Despite how bewildered you still were, you gingerly pushed the fallen strands of hair from his eyes. He was still your best friend. Of course, you loved him. You’d always love him.

And he was aware that he had always been just your boy friend you’d come to whenever you needed sympathy or company. Not your boyfriend, but your friend that was a boy.

“I just—I just don't deserve you,” you finally whispered.

Of course, in a sense, he did deserve so, so much better, but all he wanted was you. He knew that he should have refrained from doing anything with you. He was doing just fine before… everything—before you came back into his life as the person he loved.

Because loving you now was just so fucking destroying.

He opened his mouth to tell you what you didn't want to hear, but you shook your head, not letting him speak.

Tears burned your eyes, “No, Jisung. I don't. You're so amazing and caring and someone like me doesn't deserve someone like you,” you assured him, his grip tightened around your hand.

Please, don’t do this.

He was too pure and too sweet to love you.

Nevertheless, he wanted you to know everything. That he’d still love you through every emotional part of the roller coaster you had brought into his life. He loved you on the days that you were pleasant and kind and also on the days you were unrecognizable to him.

He loved you through changing circumstances and the rapid movement of time. He was loving you now, even when you decided that you didn't love him.

"I don't care," he said and he didn’t. He brought himself closer to your lips. "Do you even know?" He drew back for an instant, his eyebrows knit together. "Do you know what it's like around you? I can't..." He ran one hand through his hair and stared at you. "I can't breathe whenever you're around."

He was just so deeply in love with you, but you never cared to notice. You always cared about another boy, and not the one that mattered. He loved you so much and you took it for granted. You always went crying to him about your problems, and the boy beside you always lit himself on fire to keep you warm.

And judging by the way you treated him, it was only a matter of time before his flame went out.

“Why didn't you tell me before?” You asked him, your eyes darted wildly across his although your vision was more than blurry by now. “You were my best friend.”

His lips and hands shook at the sound of the cold rain pounding against your window, and his stomach turned because, at once, he struggled to find air to breathe.

What was he supposed to tell you? That you weren't just a best friend to him? That his soul ached for you every time he wasn't busy talking? That he couldn't bear to hear you talk about him in a way that got his hopes up?

Or was it that he couldn't watch you love Hyunjin the way you were supposed to love him?

“I couldn't bring myself to tell you,” he resulted in saying.

“Why? Because of who—Hyunjin?” You searched for an understanding. It took him a while before he nodded hesitantly at your question, afraid of how you’d take it. “But this goes way farther back than Hyunjin. You had so many years to tell me—to be honest with me.”

It was easier then.

Before, Jisung hadn't touched you, he hadn't kissed you, he hadn't done nearly enough stuff with you. It was completely different now and he didn't think you understood that.

“I know but—”

“Do you even know what Hyunjin said?” You continued to ask, cutting him off.

Suddenly it felt like a crime to look into your gaze. Jisung was avoiding it like a plague.

“This entire time, he had been in love with another girl,” you confessed, wincing as you relived yourself swallowing the biggest pill ever imaginable. It cut your throat and nearly made you bleed out. You couldn't believe what you were saying.

“Bora?” His eyes finally snapped over to yours, widening. “H-He told you about her?”

You nodded, feeling the tears you’d been failing to desperately keep in, continue to roll down. “Yes, and I was so stupid and blind and I just wanted to cry and cry and cry—so I just need you to tell me the truth,” you sobbed. “I can’t do this anymore.”

You didn't want secrets anymore. You couldn't even begin to understand how your best friend had been in love with you for so many years. It didn't seem real. You didn't want to accept it.

But somehow, someway, you both were in love, he was so sure of it.

It hadn't been processed to you yet that Jisung had said the girl's name—Bora—ever so immediately as he did. You didn't think much about it until you could see the look of shame wash down on his face.

He had been keeping the information between Hyunjin and Bora from you for how long? It was pitiful and downright unacceptable considering you were his best friend. How could he tell you now?

But you wanted honesty, right? You wanted to know everything.

“If you want to know the truth,” he still couldn't even look at you anymore, “I’ve known about their… situation.”

He could hear the breath you sucked in quietly. You shook your head, unable to wrap your mind around his confession. “No, you didn't.”

Please, please, please. This couldn't be true. Please.

“Yes—”

“No. You didn't know Jisung. You couldn't have known.” You were still so adamant about not believing him. None of this was supposed to happen. He didn't know—there was no way he had known about Hyunjin and Bora this entire time. “You also can't love me, it’s not possible.”

He grabbed your chin, holding you firmly, and stared into your vacant eyes. “Please, why are you doing this? Why don’t you believe me?” He whispered to you like two children shading a secret.

You pushed his hand away, standing up from where you were sitting. “You didn't fucking make me look stupid for all these months—you didn't make me look stupid for all these years. Jisung, tell me that you didn't.” You began to break down.

You both were in love, he was so sure of it.

“I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it, I'm sorry.” He couldn't even begin to express the guilt and the pain he was experiencing. He didn't even dare to value them either. You were all he could see.

This was when he realized that this was a mistake.

He stood and attempted to hold your hand again, to which you took a step back. He wanted it to go back to how it was. “Please understand that I was in pain,” the words were now being pulled up from his throat like a clown’s handkerchief trick, but he was choking, “I never meant to ruin things. I never meant to ruin us.”

Part of you wanted to forgive him. You were so heartbroken because you not only lost the boy you loved earlier, but also your best friend tonight.

You knew that Jisung wasn't a selfish person, and he probably had his reasons. You wanted to see the brighter side of everything but you couldn't. Not now anyway. Not when he had told you his true feelings that he had kept a secret for so long.

It felt as if your whole life with him had been a lie.

But he was your best friend and even if you tried with all your heart, you could never fully hate him. So the other part of you wanted to tell him that you loved him back so badly, even if it wasn't the truth. You wanted to tell this boy who you knew would give you the world if you asked, that his feelings were reciprocated, but they weren't.

You believed that maybe could’ve been, though. They could’ve been if you weren't so hung up on someone that didn't love you.

And you wanted to tell him that, but you thought it would’ve hurt even more.

You finally took the first step closer to him to hold his hand, just as he tried before. It was what he wanted right? He let you.

It was funny how something that should’ve felt so good could feel so bad when the circumstances weren't right. And your circumstances were definitely not right. But you squeezed his hand anyway, letting him know that you were feeling exactly what he was feeling, and you were just as torn as he was.

Jisung dropped his forehead against yours, your eyes closing while you both just silently breathed through whatever this moment was. You could feel everything he was not saying.

You could even somehow feel the kiss he wasn't giving you. But if you both slipped back into the moment you shared last night or even the night before, it would’ve ripped his wound open even wider, until that was all he was.

And as much as he wanted to deny it, he knew just as much as you did that this wasn't a good idea.

So Jisung stood there, defeated, trying to break the silence, but secretly afraid that if he stayed he’d only break everything more.

With your features blurring past his closed eyes, just like how he had memorized you his entire life, he breathed out. “I’m sorry—I don't think I was supposed to tell you any of that.”

let me know your thoughts about this chapter! i’m interested to hear your opinions :) stay healthy <3

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taglist: (pls lmk if i missed you or if ur interested!)

@hyynee @keilykat @sikebishes @soobin-chois @chxrry-chris @0x1lovesong1 @drhsthl @rindomo @ooshanaya

#stray kids #skz #skz han jisung #skz fanfic #skz imagines #han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung smut #han jisung imagines #han jisung x reader #hyunjin fanfic #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #series #chapter four

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