#so i dunno take it with a grain of salt again i feel shitty saying that esp if they are legit

[sensenotsense]

i feel shitty trying to see if i can debunk, but id feel work helping scams so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe my internet sleuthing missed something, but other than being unvetted and the name being different in 1 place i cant find any major reasons it a scam. like some of the photos did pop up on reverse image search, but also some didn't and others in reblogs said it seemed legit

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

isn't the situation with mitsuru more complicated though since grandpa kirijo was around, likely had more power over the family, and the kirijo group could do things either behind father kirijo's back or prevent him from being able to do anything about it? (which ye isn't great and could be seen as neglect but gives him more sympathy compared to Okumura)

So.....I feel like the child experiments started after the DH incident, or at least Mitsuru’s did (she says it was all to protect her father, and it only makes sense for that to happen once he’s in danger thanks to the DH)

(rest under the cut cause word vomit~! will I ever break this habit? possibly not ;3;)

Then there’s the fact I think the dad had taken control sometime after the DH started, (take this with a grain of salt but I’m going off of Wiki knowledge and it says that)  Grandaddyrijo and Daddyrijo (yes I know they have names, no I’m not gonna use them cause I’m having fun 8U) ended and started reign in 1999 respectively. Need to go through again and double check tho. Tbh figured he died in the explosion but it’s whatevs. But if true that would mean the Dad was in charge when Mitsuru was experimented on. 

He def seems in charge during the Answer, which would mean 1) if experiments continued with Mitsuru after she awakened (I mean she’s a prime specimen I’d be more surprised if they didn’t), 2) He is obvie totally ok with keeping around the crazy people in the Ergo department (crazy is what the game uses, and yeah the guy is off his rocker, and we know fully well all the sins the Ergo division has committed). 

Now between Okumura (Daddymura?) and Daddyrijo? Daddyrijo all the way, he’s def the lesser of two evils and def has a better goal in mind.

But.....here’s the thing. Ignoring......the way the game frames him (partially cause of Mitsuru’s biased), and we take a step back, and look at what he does. He’s def a grey character. He seems to be the “for the greater good” kinda guy. He talks about how “it’s such a shame that children have to fix what us adults have broken” (hey isn’t this how P2IS’ timeline got screwed? 8U Wasn’t the message that adults need to get their shit together and not force this onto children? eh? eh? ok, well at least the game is going for the “yeah that’s whack” but it’s just funny). 

Anyway he spouts that all the damn time and it’s like.......I dunno......his words feels a bit empty. By which I mean, we’re supposed to feel somber and how he’s regretful for it......yet he allowed his daughter to get experimented on. He allowed his daughter to be put into danger in the first place (maybe he knew it could help spark the Persona?). I do think he loves his daughter (not enough to get her a better fiance but I digress 030 jk jk), and I think he also hates the DH and wants to fix the world. But I also think he’s a cold SOB who will allow his daughter to suffer like that under the pretense of “you have to fix our family name” bs and will gather every nearby 5th grader and dog so that this world can end. 

I mean seeing this shows Mitsuru does take after him (albeit she is a lot more compassionate and less extreme thank god). That being said, while this guy let’s his own daughter be experimented on to save the world (possibly among other things). Mitsuru asked a bunch of teens that, CAN ALREADY DEFEND THEMSELVES MIND YOU, if they wanna join a club to get rid of a shitty situation they’ve kinda been dragged into whether they take her offer or not (aka they can either just sit around and be afraid or they can help other people like them get rid of the DH). 

But back to the dad, I feel like his “for the greater good” tendencies might be overlooked/pushed aside cause of Mitsuru’s idealization of him. Which is a shame cause we could’ve had a more grey/complex dynamic.....but that would require having to push Mitsuru to the forefront more (and I feel like Atlus loves to water her and Aki down and as much as possible).

And that’s kinda why I wanna look into it more (see how much hidden dialogue I can find as well as supplementary material). There’s a lotta sus implications Atlus gave us in regards to him, regardless if Atlus intended us to view him that way. (ex: kinda like how Makoto only seems to get violent outside of battle with her friends, but can’t lift a finger to save herself, that’s some pretty bad implications even tho Atlus most likely doesn’t mean for it to mean THAT....BUT HERE WE ARE! how dare you atlus, right in front of my salad. ;w; btw only chose Makoto cause it’s the quickest to explain and easiest to remember “bad implication” example I can bust out, it’s less it being against Makoto and more “really Atlus?”)

Sorry this is more of a speculation post, tbh they’ve mostly been speculation posts. I def stand by Daddyrijo>Okupapa(? I dunno vote on it, submit your suggestions, this is less of a daddy kink and more of a “fun word play way to fit their roles of father into their name thing”), but lately some stuff has been bothering me about Daddyrijo and while I think he’s on the side of “good” I do want to healthily question his actions and analyze them....... all while sobbing about why Atlus won’t dive headfirst into Misturu’s trauma *sobs* :’D

[cominatchacleopatra]

VLD Pairings For Dummies™

Okay so we all know shipping plays a really big part in this garbage fire of a fandom. It has divided the fanbase and people will judge you and immediately think you’re an awful person for shipping something they don’t personally like. Why is it like this? I dunno, I’m just here to bitch and pretend that I’m funny (keep in mind these are my personal opinions so take them as grains of salt and throw them over your shoulder if you don’t like them). Let’s get into this

Two of the biggest pairings:

Klance: Follows the typical tropes of frienemies to lovers, red and blue aesthetic, opposites attract type of thing. Is currently the most popular pairing in vld.

Sheith: the second most popular pairing in vld. A fair amount of people love the chemistry between Shiro and Keith. They want to know more about their back stories and such.

These two pairings have an... intense rivalry... and that’s putting it mildly. It has escalated to the point where it’s an outrageously over blown shipwar taking the guise of social justice. It really has become a case where if you tell a lie long enough it will become accepted as the truth. some Klance shippers (a loud minority really) will accuse people shipping anything other than said ship of supporting pedophilia. And let me assure you, that word isn’t meant to be taken lightly so how dare you haphazardly throw it around to where it loses it’s original meaning? I digress, fans of klance largely out number the fans that like other pairings so antis can get away with all the harassment and bullying that they do, mostly to the sheith shippers and now currently the staff and voice actors. But lately, it’s evolved into a pure hatred for a certain character and ships with that character: Shiro.

“Shaladin” ships

Shance: Lance/Shiro well known in it’s own right, Lance and Shiro have some nice moments together in the show. Has a nice balance between the two, The jokester and the slightly more serious one that keeps him in line. Slightly less hated than sheith but those that ship these pairing are very civil towards each other

Shidge: Shiro/Pidge. One of the more controversial ships. I personally see them like a mentor or replacement sibling type of thing but I can see why people like it. They have cute moments too. Shiro is so nice and encouraging towards Pidge.

Shunk: Shiro/Hunk. Very rare but visible. Buff and Soft combo. Nice. Hunk could totally manhandle Shiro like Allura can.

Shallura: Allura/Shiro. Used to be the second most popular ship next to klance but wondercon happened and now people scorn it because they think Allura is too young. Gonna be biased here, some people (antis) only shipped this to compete with sheith so that Shiro could be out of the way. Regardless I still think this is a great ship and they could have even more good moments together in the future.

You see antis severely dislike Shiro for no reason. I’m pretty sure they don’t even know why themselves. I can say with full confidence that most antis ship klance and will attack any other ships that “threaten” their ship. To that I say fuck off and stop being so insecure, you already have the most popular ship, so enjoy it and stop bothering people.

Threatening Outliers

Kallura: Keith/Allura. In previous incarnations of voltron these two always end up being together romantically. Due to season 2 this ship has shot up in popularity a little bit that more antis come and clutter the tag. But ironically more antis ship kallura ever since the wondercon fiasco (which I find hilarious and infuriating because most kallura shippers and “shaladin” shippers are on very civil terms with each other)

Plance: Pidge/Lance. They have some cute moments, some have even made the parallel with another ship from OHSHC. I don’t really go into the tags for this ship but I’m guessing it’s light spam from antis, nothing too bad.

Hance: Hunk/Lance. This ship is pretty cool and holds it’s own well enough. It’s great if you don’t want to see Hunk constantly on the sidelines in fanart/fiction.

Allurance: Allura/Lance. I see great potential and even greater headcanons from this ship. They have their moments. Great art works all around.

Laxum: Plaxum/Lance. It’s cute. Their tag has more or less of the same problems that the kallura tag has.

I think these four pairing should get more love because they all can be written really well and have interesting chemistry with each other, especially ships with Pidge because I think they are worth exploring. Another thing I keep seeing is people leaving out Pidge because they think she’s 14, but they never do the same to her brother Matt.

Kidge: Keith/Pidge. They work well together in the show. I could see a really nice friends developing into something more out of this. The art is nice. I don't really go into their tag though.

Hidge: Hunk/Pidge. All I can say is this ship is cute as fuck. And dishes out really good content every now and again.

Shatt: Shiro/Matt. (I know not a Pidge ship but there’s a reason why I’m bringing this up) This ship is popular enough amongst antis and their shipping circles.

Pallura: Pidge/Allura: It’s very cute. I don’t go into this tag either because not my thing but I’m sure the fans are nice.

And I question why since Matt has barely gotten any screen time within two seasons; Shiro and Matt are friends so of course I can see why people would ship them but to me, he looks around the age of 17... 19 tops, wouldn’t Shiro be around the same age as Matt? In photographs he and Pidge only look one or two years apart. What I’m trying to say is Matt is around the same general age as the other paladins yet some antis will ship him with Shiro and not even bat an eye? I mean according to antis “logic” Shiro is 25, so wouldn’t it be wrong to ship Matt with him? Or shatt is totally fine because it doesn’t get in the way of klance? Hmm....

There is also that whole issue of making Pidge asexual because of her age and other things but that’s a topic for another day.

EDIT: 8-15-2017. I was fucking wrong about how old Matt actually is. My bad. Damn... I also have a slightly different stance on Shatt now.

Wild Cards

Allurvian: Allura/Kolivan. This came out of nowhere and I never expected the fans to be so interactive and nice. It also has this pseudo enemies to lovers type of thing so if you like that this ship is for you.

Alforan: King Alfor/Coran. I’m not gonna lie this is a rare pair. There is some art but very few. You can reach the end of the ship tag easily. But it has that servant/royal trope so if that’s for you go nuts.

Shendak: Sendak/Shiro. Oh very problematic pair. I mean if you can stomach the noncon, go for it but other than that, would not recommend.

Shlav: Shiro/Slav. First of all what the fuck. Second of all this is a shitty crack pairing. Third of all WHAT.. the fUCK?! Pairing a character with somebody they don’t like, sounds familiar. No wonder antis like this, they hate Shiro so much.

Haggar/Zarkon: I feel like I don’t need to explain this one. But I think they both had a hand in making Lotor.

Speaking of which, Lotor ships

Lancelot: Lotor/Lance. I can admit when I take off the shipping goggles, this is a crack pairing. They haven't even met yet so why? And to this I say why the hell not? Most of Lotor ships are gonna be assumed hero/villain ships unless stated otherwise later on in the show.

Lotor/Allura: Classic considering the context in the original show.

Keitor: Keith/Lotor. If you like memes this is the crack ship for you.

Pidge/Lotor: It’s another crack pairing. 

Edits:

Thulaz: Thace/Ulaz. I don’t really go into this tag. But from a quick look over they generate a lot of headcanon. Very sweet and sappy adorable. Both are dead though so have fun with that.

Heith: Keith/Hunk. They have such a cute ship name. Honestly, it reminds me of the candy. It’s nice and sweet like the candy. The art is really good. And the shipper have a nice little community.

I know I missed a lot of ships but tell me and I’ll add them in post. Also another tip for newbies in this fandom, if you see a url with starry- as a prefix, avoid at all cost. They are most likely antis and will try to brainwash you. Just avoid antis in general. They don’t know what they’re talking about.

[cabinofimagines]

Just wondering what you guys think the seven plus Nico, will, and Reyna would write on a cast of a reader got one? Like the reader is a child of Hermes and just a friend to all... but... I dunno lol

okay, take this with a grain of fuckin salt y'allPercy : 'Get better soon Y/N !!' *in blue sharpie with a lame smiley face and maybe a shitty triangle fish then he writes like 'ya boi percy' or some shit*Annabeth : 'get better Y/N !!' in silver sharpie with like a little heart and it says 'A.C.' bc she's adorable but also a badassJason : it's the Superman symbol. The superman symbol. You know why? Because one, you probably always called him that, and two, Jason is a cheeky asshole. *also prob says 'at least it wasn't me this time' with a smile and it says Jace*Piper : 'hurry up and heal bih' with like a cloud around it and it says 'Pipes' with a little heart because honestly, she wouldn't even be like 'get better soon Y/N !!' no she'd see you with a cast and fucking die laughing. Leo : um. listen. don't let this kid get a sharpie and get near ur cast bc, boo, ur gonna be standing there for three years. He's gonna create a 'masterpiece' and damn did your arm feel like 1000 pounds afterwords. then he signs it with 'YA BOY LEO MCSHIZZLE BAD BOI VALDEZ' and then smiles at you like a dork and he's cute and his 'masterpiece' took up 3/4ths of ur cast and u kinda just realized how cute he was and-- what the fuck was I talking about Hazel : she asks you what you want, then draws on ur cast for about an hour, and it's gorgeous and actually looks like a masterpiece and takes up the other 1/4th of your cast and there's literally no more space because honestly Leo and Hazel just make u smile and -- what the fuck was I talking about again ??Frank : FRANK IS A DORK AND ADORABLE SO HE'D BE LIKE 'hope u get better y/n !!' WITH A LOPSIDED SMILEY FACE AND A DASH AND ITS LIKE 'Frankie' BC U PROB CALLED HIM THAT BUT HE SPELLS IT DIFFERENTLY SO ITS 'Franky' AND I JUST CRYNico : honestly? a skull. a fucking skull. or the most beautiful handwriting that says 'Nico di Angelo', or if y'all are close friends it's probably like 'good one, dumbass' with a skull and shit.Reyna : 'casts are for the weak -- Reyna :)' - nez

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: -tonight is the night ryan would fall off the wagon after spending way too long in a bar singing, fending off offers to buy her drinks as well as her own impulses. but this is what happens when you put yourself in these kinds of locations. it was only a matter of time.- 

RYAN: -pain pills are easy enough to come by, and even easier to choke down when you're drunk. a wild evening results in ryan making her usual commute back home, late at night, on her own... making her an easy target for a mugging.- 

RYAN: -things get a little hazy after that point. but she remembers seeing jack arrive on the scene before blacking out.- 

RYAN: -... and then she woke up, back at the bar where it all began. she snorts awake from a puddle of drool with the bar tender tapping her head and telling her they're closing. she had a half finished drink which apparently made her both sleepy and guilty enough to pass out and have some kind of shitty nightmare. or... something. regardless, it's time to make the trek home, but her mind is still buzzing.- 

RYAN: -she's been having an awful lot of realistic dreams lately. way more than she has her entire life. jack seems to play a role in a considerable number of them, but she finds it unsettling in this case. this isn't her idealizing him rescuing her. it's more like... a very plausible thing if he ever saw her getting into trouble in one of his visions. and the idea of that makes her feel incredibly guilty.- 

RYAN: -she snaps out of her thoughts long enough to notice she's coming upon the alley from her dream. it would be wise to avoid it, but she wants to prove to herself it was just a dream... it would all be alright, like every other evening. and besides, she'd be on her toes anyway. she can fend for herself. still, her heart races as she turns down that street.-

JACK: -It's a feeling that creeps up his spine and settles with a heavy weight in his mind. Nagging and insistent, Jack knows no rest until he's forced to emerge from his apartment and pace the Skaian streets. He knows this feeling by now, like tuning into a radio station full of scenarios that chill his blood in a terribly familiar way.- 

JACK: -He can practically taste the dread in his mouth. His hands feel for a pack tucked into the pocket of his windbreaker until he's fishing out the cig he's searching for. Before too long, Jack has it tucked between his teeth. The tobacco burning in a (failed) hope of stowing off the metallic tang on his tongue.- 

JACK: -While his feet carry him down the turns of concrete and crosswalks, images begin to press to the blanket of sightlessness that were his eyes. Taking him an hour, half an hour, moments into the future. Stringlets of fate belonging to complete strangers, they paint Jack's surroundings to perfect clarity. He can See the darkened street where Ryan turns. Her steps hobbled and uncertain, the very opposite of sober.- 

JACK: -He also Sees when the three figures depart from the bar, having watched Ryan the whole time she'd spent drinking and then finally leaving on her own. A few seconds of context and clairvoyant observation left Jack knowing their intention. They were faceless, strangers in his visions, except for Ryan. Her face he would recognize anywhere and he realizes... He doesn't have much time to revel in the picturesque details he'd been missing out on.- 

JACK: -And so Jack takes a short cut, cutting straight through an alley where he might intercept Ryan on the other side. No need for conflict if he can avoid it. His hand shoots out to catch her at the elbow.- (Ryan.)

RYAN: -as alert as she tries to be, naturally she's glancing around nervously in all directions except the one jack suddenly emerges from. she feels his hand on her, stirring up a yelp and a startled jump.- JESUS FUCK. 

RYAN: -her heart beats right out of her chest and it only starts to settle when she recognizes the dimly lit figure beside her.- (jack???) 

RYAN: (what are you doing here?) -she doesn't sound entirely clueless, but she asks it all the same.-

JACK: -He can sense the group's balk in the distance as they see his interception of Ryan. But it'll only be a moment, just long enough for Jack to take her by the hand and zip further into the alley.- (No time.)

JACK: -Navigates with surprising finesse for a blind guy. Managing to avoid crates, broken bottles, garbage cans, anything that will cut it close to an encounter with their would-be pursuers. Within a few minutes, Jack is pulling Ryan in... only to duck with her into the archway of a backway door. The locked from the outside kind, probably belonging to the grounded restaurant kitchen beyond. His visions told him as much.- 

JACK: -He keeps a hand to her, hushing her while he listened and searched the immediate future. They were certainly out of sight now...-

RYAN: -alright, so much for her calming down. she sputters one last incoherent protest before the pair of them bob and weave through the alley's obstacles. this is all too fucking Real, she thinks, and it certainly doesn't quell her paranoid fears that what she saw was, in some way, her fate.- 

RYAN: -they linger in the archway, but the pause does nothing to quiet her racing thoughts or the unpleasant churn of anxiety in her stomach. she looks to jack, leaning into him a little to try to relax and trust that whatever is going on, he's got it under control better than she does. because what the fuck???- 

RYAN: -exhales after a moment and turns towards him to hiss a whisper.- (we got time now?)

JACK: -As the prospect of danger fades, so does his pseudo-ability to see. Everything takes to the comfort of pitch black and once again, Jack is left alone with the hush of Ryan's voice in his ear. The smell of booze is on her breath, the same way the cigarette smell must be clinging to his own clothes.- 

JACK: -his hand releases her and finds its way to her shoulder, squeezing at her in a way he hopes is reassuring.- Yes. 

JACK: We'll give it another minute or two. -talks as if they're avoiding something like a sudden bout of rain instead of... what just could have been.-

RYAN: alright. -she fidgets, but manages to collect herself as quiet returns between them. there are things she'd like to say that she isn't sure how.- 

RYAN: ... jack? i uh... 

RYAN: -sighs- there were guys following me. right?

JACK: -There's no point in lying... but he doesn't like the tension in her voice either. Despite everything, he would still prefer not to take it as what it could have been but rather what it is now. Ryan, safe because of his own intervention. He would count his lucky stars if he could.- 

JACK: There were.

JACK: But safe to say, they're gone now. -blinks and kind of registers their proximity of one another. Crossing his arms, Jack turns to lean back against the door instead, lining her shoulder up by his own.- Lucky break.

RYAN: ... i knew about them. 

RYAN: but i didnt think it would actually happen. 

RYAN: i mean... fuck. -runs a hand through her hair.- how do i put this? 

RYAN: -she turns her head to look at him again, confused and scared, but if anyone would understand, it had to be him... right?- i keep having these dreams. theyre always about me... things that happen to me. and they feel so real. but they never... theyve never happened. 

RYAN: i saw those guys coming after me. but even in that dream it was different. 

RYAN: ... i dunno. maybe its just a coincidence. im basically a sitting duck walking out here on my own.

JACK: Not always, you know. Just this one time. -gently nudges her with an elbow. He can't see how confused and fearful her expression is, but he can certainly hear it in her words. Jack opts to keep a cool head.- When did you have this dream.

RYAN: -scoffs and nudges him back.- just earlier today. 

RYAN: at the bar. 

RYAN: ... after i drank a little. 

RYAN: i guess i fell asleep.

JACK: -falls quiet and thoughtful at that, focusing on the circumstance. It was unique to say the least and one he couldn't help but identify with.- Is this a recent thing? You say dreams in the plural sense of the word.

RYAN: -nods slowly- yeah. for the past... month or so? 

RYAN: theyre usually about... shit like this. 

RYAN: me making poor decisions or getting into trouble or... 

RYAN: uhh... -glances off, flustered when she remembers the bulk of the things she dreams about. whoops.- mostly just that.

JACK: -strokes a thumb at his chin, nodding. Ohhh if he knew what she was thinking.- It's interesting. 

JACK: But something you can't expect to know the ins and outs of right away. 

JACK: I would suggest you take it with a grain of salt. Maybe... -drops the cane from his sylladex, weighing it in one hand for a moment.- Try not to tempt fate so often. 

JACK: The dreams are there for a reason.

RYAN: mrgg. well that much is obvious to me. -rubs at her head, feeling annoyed with herself when she reflects back on all these potential disasters she's gotten herself into. but of course, not everything she dreams about is regrettable.- 

RYAN: sometimes thats easier said than done. 

RYAN: but hey. im trying to be wiser. 

RYAN: -glances down at the ground, then loops her arm with his.- youre walking home with me of course.

JACK: I can't see an instance where I don't. -ba dum tshh. He's glad to take her arm in his and takes the lead out of the alley way. Truly homefree.- I don't suppose you mean my home. Or yours.

RYAN: -HOME IS WHEREVER I'M WITH YOOOOUUU.- 

RYAN: well... technically were closer to my place from here but. 

RYAN: i think id rather crash with you. if thats alright.

JACK: I won't oppose you... -when it comes time for them to take that street turn, Jack leads them on.- But on a more serious note. 

JACK: I'm also going to suggest you stay away from the kareoke bars a while. 

JACK: It's... not an easy thing. Relapsing. -squeezes at her wrist a little. As if reminding.-

RYAN: yeah... -as he squeezes her wrist, she finds herself drifting closer to him, brushing elbows.- 

RYAN: guess thatd count as making wiser decisions. 

RYAN: -she quiets, her train of thought bringing her away from him again, though she keeps her hand on his arm.- im... sorry jack.

JACK: -a smile quirks on his face as their elbows brush.- No need to be. 

JACK: I was here this time. I'd say if anything, this night turned out well. It's what's real and it's what matters.

RYAN: -that answer surprises her a little, but it's a relief.- i guess so... 

RYAN: i just dont wanna worry you. that you gotta hunt me down like that. 

RYAN: im... trying.

JACK: If anyone knows how hard you're trying, it's me. -says, squeezing at her knuckles now.- And I won't worry either. 

JACK: I can put off pre-mature grays for only so long.

RYAN: -that makes her smile and she returns to leaning against him, taking his hand up in hers just to squeeze back.- fair. 

RYAN: i can rest assured knowing youre gonna look good gray too. -snickers-

JACK: You know for a fact? -sounds bemused- 

JACK: I don't suppose your dreams tell you as much.

RYAN: i mean its hard to go wrong. 

RYAN: youre somehow pulling off this disheveled gives no fucks look after all. -ruffles his hair with her free hand.-

JACK: Thank you. -smiles, glad for the hair mussings.- 

JACK: The secret is forgetting that combs exist from time to time. At least twice a week.

RYAN: oh yeah. at the very least. id be surprised if you even own one anymore. -the closer they get to jack's place, the more her heart rate quickens. she worries if this is real, and if she's going to do something she shouldn't again. it's only a matter of time before that becomes a reality too, isn't it? she tries to tell herself it's probably in her head, but it doesn't stop the anxiety.- 

RYAN: ... by the way thanks for letting me stay with you so often. i know neither of you would wanna turn me away but you know. i appreciate being welcome all the time. -shrugs a little.-

JACK: -It's just like Ryan to shrug off an honest sentiment. So the blind guy leads the buzzed girl up the stairs and it goes about as well as one expects. He nods, holding her hand and feeling up the stair rails with the free hand.- 

JACK: If it was your house, you would be doing the same for me. -touches the first door but it's obviously not their house. He guides Ryan all the way to the third. He begins fiddling with his keys to get the door unlocked.- I personally enjoy having space to my own. 

JACK: No moms or dads staying up late to make sure I'm home in one piece. I appreciate their concern but nine times out of ten, I'm perfectly fine. -rambles the whole way into the house. Predictably, Audrey the pitbull greets them with a sniff and a boop of her nose at their hands. Oh yeah. Jack should probably release that now.-

RYAN: -NEVER. but it's alright, her hands are now occupied giving this pup pets.- tell me about it... 

RYAN: one of these days ill have my own place again. or i can room with someone i guess. since russet suggested it i kinda feel compelled to resist it with all my being. 

RYAN: plus i just... ya know. dont wanna burden anybody until im in a better place. 

RYAN: ... but then again i guess im kinda doing that already without necessarily burdening anybody so hey. 

RYAN: not that im suggesting i room with yall but uh yeah thats just where my train of thought took me. 

RYAN: ... -wanders inside, but she's lingering a little awkwardly like she isn't sure if she wants to sit or not.-

JACK: All the couch needs is a plaque with your name on it. -He doesn't seem to mind that she lingers, shuffling off for his kitchen like he is. After a few minutes and from the smell of it, Jack is making himself a mug of hot chocolate.- I know Sage would like the prospect of extended sleepovers.

RYAN: -belatedly decides to hover, joining him in the kitchen.- heh. without a doubt. 

RYAN: hey... make me one. -prods at him.-

JACK: -lets her have this drink he's already done preparing.- Fine. -gets to making himself another. Feeling around a cabinet for another mug.- 

JACK: I think you should consider a roommate though. It's a system that works wonders on Sage and I. Hell. 

JACK: It's best if you can find someone you can fuss at the same way they fuss at you. That way you don't feel like it's a burdening dynamic. It's how it works for us.

RYAN: -scoffs...- oh wait youre serious. 

RYAN: i dunno if i know anyone that i can fuss at. pretty much everyone i know has their shit together waaay more than i do. -sips the chocolate as she leans against a counter and thinks about this.-

JACK: It helps not to make those assumptions. -stirs the powder into the hot water with a spoon.- But again. 

JACK: Just an idea.

RYAN: :P 

RYAN: its something to consider i guess. maybe ill get lucky. or however that works.

JACK: You could ask your dreams about it. -licks the spoon, tapping it at his mouth in contemplation.- Another hypothetical thought.

RYAN: yeah right. maybe if i want some insight on the worst candidates for the position since so far theyve only been good for warning me not to be a complete dunderfuck. 

RYAN: or to be like prepared. 

RYAN: for things. 

RYAN: that some people apparently arent prepared for. 

RYAN: since theyre not all bad dreams so. i dunno maybe youre onto something. -STOP WHILE YOU STILL CAN RYAN. she squints at her mug and takes a generous gulp.-

JACK: So if they're not bad, they must be good. -sips his own mug, elbow leaned back against the counter.- I say you give it a try.

RYAN: guess it cant hurt! 

RYAN: -she's feeling flustered all over again now that they're back to this subject. she wonders if it's something she should address, or if that would be an even worse decision. maybe she can be subtle about it.- 

RYAN: heeeeeeey. actually while were still talking about my whacky dream shenanigans... 

RYAN: so some of them arent exactly bad... sure... maybe they are actually really good! 

RYAN: but what if they arent? i mean if the running theme of every other dream is something i shouldnt do then maybe these good dreams could be categorized as the same thing. 

RYAN: and even if they ARENT then what DO they mean? since as you said they mean SOMETHING...

JACK: -fishes out a marshmallow before answering.- Tough question but it's a good one to ask. 

JACK: From my perspective, the visions manifest as... often worst-case scenarios. What would happen if I don't do "x". But your dreams? You can't say they're the same thing. 

JACK: Maybe it's not inherently about good or bad but rather your decisions. And what comes out of them. That make sense?

RYAN: -turns the mug in her hand.- when you put it like that... yeah. it does. -baccia said more or less the same thing, but it still raises some questions.- 

RYAN: but i guess in this case im not sure... what would come out of it... if i did wind up doing those things. and thats why im wary of it. 

RYAN: cuz it could be great. or it could totally set u-- uhh. me... up for disaster and its... 

RYAN: -glances down at the hot chocolate.- its something i really wouldnt wanna fuck up.

JACK: Hmmm. Well. 

JACK: Great or not, I guess... just like with most major, uncertain decisions. 

JACK: You would have to make a gamble on whether it's worth going through with or not. Not that I'm the best candidate to offer such advice. -snorts a little into his drink.- But the possibilities still stand.

RYAN: -quiets, shuffling her feet and letting all this rattle around in her head. then she shuffles her feet over to him, standing shoulder to shoulder again.- 

RYAN: ... 

RYAN: ... 

RYAN: theyre sex dreams.

RYAN: a metric fuck ton of sex dreams. 

RYAN: aboutttttt... yooouuu?

JACK: -He can physically hear the record scratch in his head as he takes a long hard gulp of hot chocolate. Scalding his mouth and leaving him to stifle the wheeze. He deserved this.- Mgh. Ghhhhf. 

JACK: -SWALLOWS.- Metric fuck ton. 

JACK: Of... chronologically probable sex dreams. -Has to repeat it to make sure he's hearing this right.-

RYAN: yeeeeeup. 

RYAN: im only kind of exaggerating. hahaha. 

RYAN: oh god.

RYAN: -hello darkness my old friend...-

JACK: -stands there with his mug like mmmmmmmygod.- "Kind of". -clears his throat and shakes his head.- 

JACK: How often do they occur before you have to qualify something as "a metric fuck ton"? -He's almost afraid to ask but well. Here he is. Staring into the void.-

RYAN: like... i dunno... about as often as i stay over??? 

RYAN: i say... after deciding to stay over.

RYAN: fuck.

JACK: Well. That... 

JACK: ... -ends up holding his chin just to grasp the gravity of all that she's implying.- 

JACK: Certainly... puts things into perspective.

RYAN: lmaoooo. 

RYAN: yeah i... okay im not just bringing this up so we can be collectively ashamed of ourselves. 

RYAN: i figure... if all these dreams are about my decisions and shit then im DECIDING to talk about it instead of jumping your bones. or waiting for you to jump my bones. or for both of us to jump at each other at the same time. 

RYAN: ... -puts her head in her hand and SIGHS- not that those details matter... or i guess maybe they do if these are things that actually couldve happened. 

RYAN: cuz that means... it isnt just me...?

JACK: -he gnaws absently on his thumb as she rambles. Picturing all the times he shuffled around, debating. Knowing he wasn't going to go through with it but wanting to. Fantasizing?? Even just remembering was bringing some sweat to his forehead.- ...Christ. 

JACK: It's... a pickle. To say the least. -chews his thumb.- Sorry. 

JACK: I'm probably not much help with this. -wheezes gently.-

RYAN: -frowns- you could be though? 

RYAN: like clearly theres an elephant in the room we should be addressing. 

RYAN: or!! its something i want to address. 

RYAN: because it sucks just sitting on how im feeling. and i know i suck at talking about it. but i wanna try to be better at that too. 

RYAN: especially... especially with you.

JACK: -takes a deep breath... ultimately nodding. He runs his hand through his hair.- Yeah. 

JACK: You're right. It's just... 

JACK: God. -brings a hand and runs it down his face.- It's fucking insane. -says muffled.- 

JACK: Sometimes... fantasies oughta stay fantasies, huh? -drops his hands back down to his sides.- Sheesh.

RYAN: ... maybe. 

RYAN: but why is it... on our minds in the first place? and so frequently??? 

RYAN: its not... mmrg. 

RYAN: its not just a fantasy for me. its not just about fucking around. okay?

JACK: -he sobers up a little, unsure of himself but dammit. Wanting to give talking it through a try.- I know. That's not what I meant. 

JACK: I just... 

JACK: Thought it was a safe thing. 

JACK: Letting myself be indecisive.

JACK: You know it never works out if we think too much so... often times it's just about the feelings. -He doesn't know what he's saying but whatever it is, Jack is sure it was making him sound like a thoughtless dick. The shame is starting to catch up now that he thinks about it.-

RYAN: -winces and turns away from him, setting the mug down on the counter to use the mindless action as an excuse to process this. it's definitely a little frustrating, but even moreso when she doesn't really understand.- what do you mean... a safe thing?

JACK: -rubs his head in frustration and sighs.- Do you ever see me turning away? In these visions?

JACK: Dreams. Sorry.

RYAN: ... no. i dont.

JACK: -drums his fingers a little bit.- Well, logically speaking. 

JACK: It's not just your own desires that are inducing the decisions behind the dreams. And you're not selfish or crazy for having them.

RYAN: -folds her arms, hugging herself while her stomach does all sorts of acrobatic stunts.- okay so... then what??? 

RYAN: thats what i wanna know. 

RYAN: if youre feeling the same way i am... i just want to figure out what i should do about it. 

RYAN: what... we should do about it.

JACK: I don't... have that answer. I don't See what happens if we go through with.... these hypothetical scenarios. 

JACK: It's not disastrous? You've never been disastrous. -makes a vague gesture. It seems kind of wistful.- You've always been... 

JACK: Just you. A person. 

JACK: Reaching for the good as much as anyone else.

RYAN: -looks at him again, expression softening.- ... well. since neither of us knows where things would go... 

RYAN: maybe a better question is... what do we want to do about it?

JACK: -He has to consider everything in front of him now. It was like living through a dose of ice cold deja vu. Ryan, their relationship, the past, the future... In these few moments, Jack is quiet. The conflict warring on his face, despite being unable to see her. If only he had the reassurance of her expression, then he'd be able to make sense of all the blank spaces.- 

JACK: You're always so close. -begins carefully, his blind eyes worried.- It seems... inevitable. No matter what we do. How hard we try.

RYAN: -swallows dryly as she turns to face him and reaches to touch his arm, gentle and reassuring in the absence of the look on her face.- are you scared?

JACK: -as she touches him, he releases the breath he didnt know he was holding.- Always. 

JACK: You know me.

RYAN: -her hand travels up along his shoulder till she's coiling her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.- yeah. 

RYAN: me too. 

RYAN: maybe we can be... scared together? 

RYAN: im not trying to say that we need to have it all figured out right now... 

RYAN: i just dont wanna... run away from this. i dont wanna do that kinda thing anymore jackie.

JACK: -hardly resists her embrace. In fact, he coils into it. Burying himself against her shoulder and holding her tight.- I know... 

JACK: But habits are hard to put to rest. And it's hard trying to... 

JACK: Tell myself that I'm ready. And that I won't catch myself in the same cycle as before. I've spent so long trying to break from it. But is it enough? 

JACK: -He nuzzles her.- I have no fucking clue.

RYAN: -laughs a little, returning the nuzzles.- well fuck. im right there with you. 

RYAN: im not gonna be reckless about it though and say i dont give a fuck?? cuz i do. like... 

RYAN: i wanna be more aware of my own bullshit. 

RYAN: but i feel like its been easier... cuz ive had help. and ive let people help. i never did before. 

RYAN: -squeezes him a little tighter.- i think we can help each other too. youre already doing that for me...

JACK: -Hugs her so tight, he lifts her a little bit. The stronk hobo that he is.- Yeah... 

JACK: -And with that, he turns and presses a kiss to her cheek.- I just. 

JACK: Love you. Somewhere in all this fuckery of a mess. I do.

RYAN: -her cheeks warm at the contact, butterflies fluttering all around her stomach and chest, inspiring more laughter and the threat of tears.- i love you too. i never fucking stopped. 

RYAN: -returns the kiss, and then once more. leaving behind lipstick stains he unfortunately won't be able to discover later, but they're there all the same.-

JACK: -It's hard being on the receiving end of Ryan kisses. It's hard and nobody understands that when you receive one, you had to receive more. And so Jack leans, bringing a hand to her hair, the back of her head. Angling her chin up so he can press a soft sweet kiss to her lips.-

RYAN: -chills run up and down her spine, an elating warmth settling over her skin when it passes. her hands clasp at his hair, interlocking with messy strands to give her a grip while she returns this kiss too, deepening it with the tilt of her head.-

JACK: -The velvety soft of her kiss was like everything Jack remembered... but in real time. No longer clouded by memory or the passing of time. It was a crystal clear, high definition of Ryan Strider brand kisses. Tinted by the taste of hot chocolate, he knew each time his lips energetically plucked the kisses from hers.- 

JACK: Fuck it all... -says while humming with satisfaction, the more she carded fingers through his hair.-

RYAN: thats what i like to hear. -the shape of her lips form a wide smile against his, but that alone couldn't even express her joy. her hands move to frame his face instead for her to look him over. scruffy as he is, he's still the most handsome man she's ever laid eyes on, and it feels good to admire this without guilt.- 

RYAN: hey jack... its really getting late. shouldnt we think about lying down?

JACK: Late for you maybe. The wicked know no sleep. -he smiles, exhaling with relief and the buzz of warmth in his cheeks. He fiddles with more of her downy soft hair between his fingers.- But I guess I could lie in wait for a while.

RYAN: -snickers at his jokes, nudging into his touch.- alright edward. come on. -captures his hand in hers so she can escort him to his own bedroom. she's visited it enough in her dreams to know every step like the back of her hand. when she passes through the door, she's pulling him in for more kisses, as if she had been waiting another lifetime for them, rather than only a few moments.-

JACK: -follows her kisses into well... His bedroom. He knew the direction and he was conscious of how bold she was for leading the way. The truth was really shedding some light on the situation. Holy moly.- Make yourself at home. -mutters, squeezing at her hands and stealing more precious pecks. The door is closing behind them.-

RYAN: i always do. -guides him to the bed, slowly seating herself and tugging him along with her continued insistence. side by side, she pauses to run her hands over his shoulders, studying his frame as if testing the solidity of him. the reality of him.- 

RYAN: im not dreaming again am i?

JACK: I guess we'll find out tomorrow when you wake up. -for all his griping, he stifles a yawn. Relaxing under the hands that run by his shoulders. One of his own thumb comes to lightly stroke her chin. Coaxing her to relax.-

RYAN: ... yeah. alright. -she's torn between the anxiety to stay awake with him, to savor every moment of this, and getting rest to test out the theory that in the morning they'll actually wake up together. but ultimately, his touch has her lying back against the pillows and sheets, beckoning him to follow.-

JACK: -Here he comes. Rolling into bed and feeling around for a way to get comfortable. Preferably with Ryan gathered up in his arms.-

RYAN: -she helps him out, fitting herself against the shape of him, juxtaposed with her back to his front. and with his arms around her, she can finally start to relax.-