#so i dont think it would be an incredibly impeding force in his life

[samarecharm]

TW for talk of drugs, alcohol, and general phobias and ptsd (HCs about Akira and the effects of the interrogation scene)

Thinkin about Akira having ptsd about the interrogation manifesting as something fairly Mundane, as in, something that doesnt come across as a ‘traditional’ symptom that strangers can clock. Takemi assumes hed be averse to needles or doctors, or perhaps hed become claustrophobic or uneasy in specific areas like courthouses or police departments; shes not a psychiatrist but she IS a confidant, and shed like to believe she knows him Enough to try and be of some help wrt Akira and his mental health (along w his physical health).

I think hed just have an issue w anything that impairs his cognitive function in ANY way. This includes alcohol, recreational drugs (weed), medications that induce drowsiness (allergy meds and pain meds), flu or fever induced hallucinations, and general anesthesia. Lack of awareness of his surroundings, and an inability to recall even basic short term memories will send him into a slight spiral that he tries his best to avoid by any means.

He comes off as just some dude whos just abstinent about alcohol and drugs, and generally people are super chill about it. He goes out to parties and mingles with everyone, he makes sure his friends get home safe, and hes chill about them doing whatever around him as long as they dont hurt themselves. But its absolutely hell for him and others when hes horribly sick. He WONT go to anyone but Takemi, no matter how much she insists shes just a general pcp. He shies away when its suggested he goes to emergency rooms, and he fights when they try to make him go by force. Hes bearable when hes got a minor cold or virus, but he panics when he gets sick enough to forget where he is. It gets better with age, but whoever hes with has to deal w his meltdowns for a very very Very long time.

One of his biggest fears is falling unconscious, and waking up with a gap in his memory so wide, he forgets who his friends and family are Again. The hands on his person and needles sticking him this way and that are nothing to him when he thinks of the extreme physical duress the metaverse put on him and his team. But it didnt take his memories away, the one thing that made his year in Tokyo worth it, and the threat of having it taken Again always overrides the logical part of his brain that tells him that the circumstances that led to it happening in the first place will never happen again.

[anticipatingevaporation]

BlackKklansman

So, for the third year running I’ve decided to watch and review the Oscar movies in preparation for Hollywood’s biggest night. I was worried I wouldn’t have time to finish this because I was just overseas for a month, but I think I’ll be able to finish them in time. However to make sure I do so, I’ve decided to only watch the Best Picture nominees this year, as opposed to the acting and animation categories.

So without further ado, let’s start off with BlackKkKlansman.

I went into this film with few expectations. I’d heard semi-positive rumblings and the premise seemed pretty interesting. I’ve never seen a Spike Lee Joint before (which just speaks to how few films I’ve actually seen…) so I was interested to see what people liked so much about this acclaimed director.

BlackKkKlansman does many things well. First and foremost, the main character Ron Stallworth is well written and extremely likeable and sympathetic. I really appreciated that he kept a level head and stood between two extreme groups and ideologies; Black power and White supremacy and navigated them well. This great character is brought to life by a fantastic performance from John David Washington. He brought a lot of charisma and class to the role, while also being very likeable.

The side characters are equally interesting, Adam Driver did a great job portraying Stallworth’s partner in the operation. He effectively portrayed how difficult it was for his character to pretend to agree with the Klan’s ideals and his scenes where he was undercover were simultaneously entertaining and confronting. I also quite enjoyed the character of Patrice, a member of the Black Power movement who gets involved with Stallworth.

An aspect of this film, which has been widely discussed - and criticised by some - is how this film keeps a rather light tone, despite its subject matter.  I personally didn’t have a problem with this, or find that it impeded on the film as a whole. I am a big believer in films that present reality as it is: a crude mixture of humour and drama. Films that take themselves too seriously and get too down in the dumps for no reason tend to bore and irritate me, so I’m glad BlackKklansman didn’t go that route. I actually found that Lee did a very good job of balancing the tonality in this film. Because he manages to keep the humorous scenes enjoyable and light, while driving his point home very effectively. I fluctuated between grinning and frowning during this film numerous times, but the transitions felt smooth and natural.

I have a couple of topics I find are rather overdone when it comes to “artistic films”, especially period films, The Second World War and race relations in America to name a few. I think these topics have been done too many times for my liking and the more recent productions tend to bring little newness to the topics. What I’m trying to say here is that I am tiring of films that touch on racism but do little novel with it. I’m happy to say that I don’t think BlackKklansman suffers that problem. Because the way in which Lee decides to tell this story that hasn’t been told before sets this film apart, in my opinion.

I will say that I found the characters in the Klan to be rather bland and stereotypical one-dimensional racists. I think they would have benefited from having some added complexity. I also found that the references to today to be a little forced and heavy handed at times. While I think the cut in the final few minutes to the Charlottesville rally that recently took place to be very effective, there were other moments where it almost felt as if the characters were going to turn and look into the camera. What they were saying was just so heavy handed and obvious. In those few instances the film would have benefitted from a bit more subtlety. There were also a couple of stylistic choices and camera angles that bothered me and didn’t make much sense.

But overall, I found this to be an effective, interesting film. I don’t think its absolutely incredible or particularly groundbreaking, but it kept me entertained and did something new with a subject matter that has been discussed numerous times over the years.

[flowisk]

@necromin Thanks for the asks still Flowey

Why I like them

Oh... Asriel is a character who was practically written for me. I remember I fell in love with him from the very first demo of the game. He’s just this... person who looks like ‘there is no way to save him’ in a game that operates off the premise off ‘not having to kill anyone’. He is a codependent traumatized kid stuck in a loop, and I think his... desperation, especially in No Mercy, and how much... love he is brimming full of is... It’s funny because even when he ‘lacks’ love, you can see how much he cared/cares about Chara and his desperate loyalty and his willingness to go along with anyone and dependency. I felt the reveal of who he was, was just... so satisfying because with every layer unraveled around him I just grew to love him more and more. He’s kind of my dream come true... this dissociative little kid who’s presented so ‘maliciously’ and who is a ‘fake smiler’ and feels empty inside but who is truly this person worth being saved, who is... brutally sad in nature. Just... this incredible painful narrative of loss from someone who... desperately had one person to rely on. Also like... I just love this Bad Kid. Like... these two kids? Two little kids saying to each other ‘Creatures like us are so rotten, we wouldn’t hesitate to kill or betray each other’ and yet despite him saying this, you can tell Flowey has the utmost loyalty to Chara. Even though he SAYS this, the one loyalty he still has... is to Chara. Even the mere belief they could be around, regardless of any killing they do, overturns his grown apathy. His goal is never quite the same as theirs, but he would go along with any goal that makes them happy as long as he is by their side and they still think well of him. It’s this amazing... contrast that... says so much about Flowey as a character, and how he must have gotten to this point. As soon as Chara is there, you can see chips of the facade break away. This was built up to impress Chara, because he felt he was wrong and they were right and ironically when he is with them he can’t help but be a bit softer in contrast.

Why I don’t

Ugh, sometimes I’m frustrated by the soulless explanation. He just seems ND to me. Lately I’ve seen something that treated ‘soullessness’ as a sort of neurodivergence in itself, and that was compelling to me. But really I’m not fan of the ‘doesn’t have a soul’ bit because so many fans use it to be lazy and separate Flowey and Asriel as characters completely.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Oh... The end of the fight with Omega Flowey. And... his hallway talk with Chara in the No Mercy run, right before the protag gets to Asgore.

Favorite season/movie

Not applicable.

Favorite line

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m so tired of this, Chara. I’m tired of all these places. I’m tired of all these people. I’m tired of being a flower. Chara. There’s just one thing left I want to do. Let’s finish what we started. Let’s free everyone. Then let them see what the world is REALLY LIKE. That despite it all, this world is still ‘kill or be killed’. Then....? Well. I had been... entertaining a few ways to use that power. Hee hee hee... .... But seeing you here changed my mind. Chara... I think if you’re around... Just living in the surface world doesn’t seem so bad.” ^ This whole speech is what destroys me and no one does anything with this speech no one ever draws any lines from it except maybe ‘kill or be killed’ in variations I’m just. This speech DECIMATES me. “Why am I telling you all this? ...Chara I’ve said it before. Even after all this time, you’re the only one who understands me.” “I didn’t want to live in a world without love. In a world without you.” “I'm not ready for this to end. I'm not ready for you to leave. I'm not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again... So, please... Stop doing this... AND JUST LET ME WIN!!! STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!!! Chara... I'm so alone, Chara... I'm so afraid, Chara... Chara... I... I...” “Why are you being... so nice to me?”

Favorite outfit

I like that time he dressed up as a goat boy with a yellow and green sweater.

OTP

Chariskriel, Chariel, Friskriel

Brotp

Flowey+Papyrus

Head Canon

Oh hey it’s BPD boy. I could actually write a meta about this. I could write an essay about all the ways he demonstrates characteristics of BPD, down to Chara being his FP, his abandonment issues, his chronic emptiness, etc etc, and his rapidly circulating impulsive emotions Mains Reaper in Overwatch. I like to headcanon him as honestly... suffering through PTSD/dissociation or the monster equivalent thereof once he gets into his little flower body. Just his chronic feelings of emptiness, loaded with the fact he... literally can’t die. I mean, he CAN but suicide is a hard enough option when even flinching or having a last second doubt will cause you to still live. Chose his gender identity, in a way that actually physically effects his magic dusty body, because monsters are magic. Mama’s boy. Think this because he has that line, after visiting Asgore about how ‘not even SHE (toriel) could fix what was wrong with me’.  A lot of people suggest that the first person he killed was someone close to him. But I’m willing to bet it was someone he didn’t know that well, and that he reset right after. I think it took a long time for Asriel to feel ‘liberated’ or ‘capable’ or ‘like there were no permanent consequences’ to killing, and then it just wore away until there were 0. I am sure he wishes he could reset to before him and Chara’s plan like, every day, and that though pops up in his mind every day too. (We already know he spends a lot of time calling for Chara.... “Did you hear me calling you?”)

Unpopular opinion

He’s just Asriel in a flower body. ...And I will admit, I do think he shows symptoms of abuse. I don’t think Chara intended to hurt their best friend or was intentionally manipulative but I do think they coerced him into a few things and forced his hand. Also a lot of the things Asriel says like... definitely imply those two were bad kids or occasionally did very bad things. I don’t think Asriel himself was 100% sweetness and goodness even before all the trauma. I just think you’re seeing him at a really vulnerable point where he wants to be sweet and good and leave a nice final impression. A sad breakdown where someone makes a few realizations is not the same as day to day life, and I think Asriel’s characteristics as Flowey are better for determining his character than his final speech at the end. A loquacious, mischievous brat who I love. Also like, ‘hellflower Flower’ and ‘sweet good innocent goat child’ are the two most bland and most common ways to write his character. Also honestly? I feel a lot of people pin Flowey as the ultimate evil of the game (and often drop that he’s Asriel when thinking of him in this way but...) what Flowey does is ‘what a gamer’ does. His actions are not that bad because he knows there are no consequences to them, much the same way someone playing a game knows. And I don’t just mean in a ‘no repercussions for him’ way. He also knows, that if he goes back, the dead won’t stay dead. Also people need to let Asriel have his ‘Chara wasn’t the greatest person speech’. Everyone’s always trying to act like Asriel is a dick for it, but that speech in itself does imply Asriel had a hard time looking at Chara’s flaws. Unfortunately the audience is even worse than Asriel about this, so Asriel can’t even have his two minute speech where he is able to admit to himself Chara wasn’t always right and he wasn’t always treated well.

A wish

I used to wish all the time that there would be a DLC where you could actually save Flowey but that dream is dead. Sometimes I still hope the next game Toby is working on will touch on him in some way but I kinda doubt it

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

The worst possible has happened to him. Guess it could be worse but it’s still pretty sad. No Mercy route is my ‘oh god please dont ever happen’

5 words to best describe them

Mischievous, codependent, troubled, empty, tragic

My nickname for them

Asriel. Az, Azzy

x

Toriel

Why I like them

Interesting? I feel like she’s this caregiver who loves children and is given some complexity beyond that. Like Lisa’s Terry, they take a ‘tutorial’ character and make them an emotional centre of the game. It’s like... this character who is normally set up to impede you in some way in both games. And while embodying the handholding of a tutorial, Toriel is someone who you don’t want to speed by or treat callously even though she is set up to be what is ‘frustrating’ in a game. Many people who first play have a hard time leaving her behind, it’s this interesting? Not sure if subversion is the word, but it’s definitely an interesting way to play with the concept of the tutorial and have it be an active and emotional part of the story.

Why I don’t

I wish we’d been able to have a bit more of an ongoing dialogue with her or check up on her at some points. I really wish that we’d been able to dig into her a bit more deeply or see her thoughts on a few things... 

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

Her final confrontation with Frisk is my favourite part, right before they leave the ruins. After that it’s her running into Sans and being able to have a nice meeting with someone she’s known for a long time but never met proper. It’s nice to see them both get a chance to be a little goofy and happy.

Favorite season/movie

Not applicable.

Favorite line

“It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectations... My loneliness... My fear... For you, my child... I will put them aside.” “Pathetic, is it not? I can’t even save the life of a single child.”

Favorite outfit

The purple one.

OTP

I like Soriel. I honestly just felt they had something? (also the game... literally implies such) They’re both these lonely people, and idk... part of the reason I do like romantic soriel is because I dislike a lot of the vibe of.... ‘Toriel’s divorced and had a family break apart, so she must always stay a divorced sad mother who is untouched from all other relationships’ I’m good with their relationship in all capacities, but the way people act about the kind of flirty dialogue at the end being this big TABOO just strikes me as off.

Brotp

On that thread, soriel. I totally dig interpretations where they are throwing wine parties with each other. In a few neutral ends the two end up living together which is interesting to me, I feel like that’s a mostly unexplored topic. Though I guess that topic is a bit bittersweet. I feel exploring them as platonic or close in different ways is interesting too

Head Canon

- It was a long time before she was able to make snail pies, butterscotch pies, after her children died and she left Asgore. For awhile she lived on the Underground’s fast food equivalent because she couldn’t find the energy to cook anymore. It had been zapped out of her. - When the first child fell down it ignited this chamber inside of her and it was the first time she’d been able to cook in awhile.  - She’s better at being active when there’s people to do things FOR, and struggles with doing things for herself - Since she’s a little monster made of dust, there was probably a lot of her childhood where she maybe wasn’t quite sure what to settle as gender wise and she really got into the concept of femininity in her teens and became very confident using she/her then

Unpopular opinion

The framing of a lot of arguments against Toriel dating bother me. If she wants to date, let her. Also I feel like Toriel can’t EVER win! People are either like... she didn’t do enough to prevent children from leaving the ruins or ‘she’s kidnapping children and restricting their freedom!’ (despite the fact we know she was never able to keep ANY of them for very long) I even literally saw a post recently that suggested part of the reason Chara was upset in the underground was because Toriel prevented them from leaving the ruins which is like? No? It’s made super obvious that’s a reaction Toriel has to kids dying in the underground. Also. It’s great to have nuanced views on Asgore, but any argument that goes ‘Toriel hiding away from the responsibility of keeping Asgore from killing kids is just as bad as , idk, killing kids’ has a rotten argument. Both of them made mistakes. Maybe part of it is a bias on my end that if Tori, with her sharp personality, had been a child murderer and Asgore had retained his soft nature and had been too sad and lonely to stop her, I just don’t feel the same criticisms would be being made. But who knows!

A wish

That she’s happy forever after and is a great teacher and adopts other kids and has good things happen to her and restores her relationship with her son (Flowey)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Idk, bad things have already happened to her. I’m not fond of her and Asgore getting back together (I think it’s for the best they split ways and heal on their own for a bit) but I’m not like Oh God No or anything.

5 words to best describe them

Dutiful, caregiver, grieving, punny, lonely

My nickname for them

Tori