#so how about that coochie ban

[yukizme]

meet the residents . . .

. . . of SUNFLOWER SQUARE ! — a two-building complex that serves as a residential as well as a commercial centre located in the very heart of the city. sunflower square pride itself on supporting various businesses such as a flower shop, a law firm, a security company, a tattoo studio and their very own café on the upper ground floor; all while maintaining a tranquil and peaceful environment for its residents and patrons. for more details and information about housing plans and/or lease agreements, contact sunflowersqadmin.jp.

yn yln — apt. 444 ; 11th floor.

( art deco by lana del ray // pressed flowers // knowing it's for the better // glitter on the floor )

runs the super freak tattoo shop and routinely cries over the two headed calf as if it were her own child. has a pinterest board named "poems that made me cry on my kitchen floor" and when she has a bad day, scrolls through it to make it worse.

has a cat called coochie and the name has been subjected to many, many, many debates held by her social circle and her only argument has been that it is synonymous with pussy.

would've happily dated sukuna had he not called her baby ugly and lowkey felt it when yuji said that sukuna and her act like a bitter divorced couple who never even dated.

has an nth number of tattoos and piercings and doesn't remember how she got most of them and at this point, she's scared to ask. (she isn't allowed to drink more without supervision anymore because she almost got a face tattoo the last time they all went clubbing.)

sukuna ryomen — apt. 609 ; 12th floor

( ivy by frank ocean // wilted flowers // pink dye // finding escape in escaping )

runs the flower shop, "i'm so thorny." and has never elaborated why he named it that. he thinks it's hilarious. yuji thinks it's fucking stupid.

hates the girl who owns the tattoo studio below his shop in the commercial block, because a. her demon cat ripped apart his expensive as FUCK dahlias, b. his (half) nephew works at her studio and he cannot stand that betrayal and c. he's tired of explaining that he actually runs the flower shop while that witch with pink bows in her hair is the tattoo artist.

deep, deep down he wants that fucker of a cat to like him so bad but he once pspspspspsps-ed at it and it hissed at him and he's been bitter ever since.

really hates his nephew giving out free flowers every time she stops by their floor; the fact that he keeps those ugly fuckers in stock is completely unrelated.

satoru gojo — apt. 382 ; 9th floor

( christmas kids by roar // getting to know someone again and again // clear blue skies // violet nail polish )

part time model who has way too much free time and makes it everyone's problem. he's temporarily (nanami is working on making it permanent) banned from the building common area without supervision because one very bad day, gojo was bored.

is filthy rich and isn't humble about it. everyone hates having him as their pick in the building's secret santa which is mandatory — thank you, utahime — because he's impossible to shop for solely because of how expensive his daily stuff is.

no one mentions the Thing he has going on with suguru, mainly because they value their peace of mind but it very much is a Thing. everyone is sick of their Thing.

he's also coochie's dad (he sent yn increasing unhinged texts until she agreed to co-parent) but yn refuses to call him anything but a deadbeat because she walked in on him and geto making out and it wasn't even 9 a.m.

suguru geto — apt. 193 ; 9th floor

( smoke signals by phoebe bridgers // broken lighters // if you go, you have to stay gone // purple skies )

is an artist and he's so fucking good at it. has his own art gallery a few blocks away and his paintings are so targeted yet so open to interpretation and he has his own little fan base consisting of girls in their 20s and art students and people seeking god.

has to have a required amount of alone time or lay in bed at least once during the day or he starts to follow through with the various threats he has made. (once gojo tried to annoy him but setting alarms on geto's phone to go off every 5 minutes and the next day, gojo was seen wearing a bucket hat that seemingly stayed glued to his head. everyone bet on it being a bald patch.)

has a few piercings that he got done by choso and lets yn decide which one he's gonna wear whenever he changes them.

watched the haunting of the hill house and the haunting of the bly manor with the girls and nanami and cried.

utahime iori — apt. 396 ; 10th floor

( falling behind by laufey // alone with their loved ones in the past // cherries // pink and white )

owns the café on the upper ground floor, "we have coffee" and runs it like the navy. the sign outside the glass door says "these freaks are banned" along with a photo of gojo and geto and another picture of gojo with bright blue sunglasses and geto with a neon green wig.

met yn and shoko in university and they've all suffered through the horrors i.e the 20s together.

loves jewellery and gets matching stuff for her girls, yn, shoko and yuki, whenever she can. her favourite the set of matching pendants all four of them have; a kiwi (shoko); a cherry (yn); an orange (yuki) and a strawberry (for herself.)

once brought in nine kittens and managed to keep them hidden for two weeks because they all escaped and she has been mourning them ever since. prime number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19 and 23 have their own photo album in her phone.

shoko ieiri — apt. 103 ; 10th floor

( last night's mascara by griff // expired makeup // fluorescent lights // forever being eleven years old on that playground with no friends )

teaches biotechnology at the local university and is easily the most liked professor over there. calls off classes because she saw a cat and got lost trying to pet it or because she took too much ibuprofen and can now hear colours; there's no in between.

once went to a couples counselling session with utahime to see how long it would take for the counsellor to realise that they weren't together. the session was over in an hour and a half and they had been advised to talk about their problems and communicate their feelings explicitly. yn has not let this go.

knows the most about everyone in their circle and she's mad at someone, she just casually drops the most insane piece of information and watches everyone argue. everyone likes her.

tried to confess to utahime but she just replied with "thank you!" and shoko doesn't think she can get drunk enough to dissect that interaction or confront her again.

yuki tsukumo — apt. 288 ; 11th floor

( arabella by arctic monkeys // silver jewellery // never existing until someone asks you how you are // animal print )

joined yn's studio because the ad said "hot people with decent drawing skills required + we have a cat" and was hired on the spot after she drew yn a perfect five-pointer star.

tried to bake cookies for her friends one day and managed to cause a blackout. ino still hasn't forgiven her because his essasy was due at 11:59 and his computer crashed and it did not submit; yuki thinks it's his fault for starting to write an essay at 11:27.

has multiple piercings, mostly in her ears and yn and her facetime every morning to decide her earrings for the day.

tattoos yn all the time along with choso. cherries, hearts, stars, dinosaurs, flowers, anything she can think of. her favourite is one with a small cherry shaped like a heart; just like the one on her own middle finger.

choso kamo — apt. 492 ; 12th floor

( strawberry wine by noah kahan // handwritten letters // missing the sunset by a few minutes // choosing to stargazing but it's cloudy )

works at the super freak tattoo shop and has been solely responsible for all the plants around the studio; his personal favourites are christofern, salad and prick.

his texts to yn include photos of plants followed by "look (o゜▽゜)o☆", "yuji asked u to stop by the shop because he has a new combo of flowers for you :D"; "sukuna just called coochie something from pandora's box btw can we slash his tyres ?? !!!!!!!!" and variants.

has a tiny crush on yuki but thinks that yuki and yn have a thing because they're always calling each other very affectionate names and choso thinks that he connected the dots.

sukuna yelled at him for two hours when he learnt that choso started working at the studio part-time and choso went back the next day with cacti and sheer willpower and made his position permanent. choso's mantle photo was placed on the side table by the couch that very evening.

kento nanami — apt. 307 ; 11th floor

( too sweet by hozier // beige and blue // time passing isn't an apology // blueberries )

works in finance. truth be told, no one from the circle knows exactly what his job is or his designation, they just know that he's very serious about his job and that he truly hates someone named "matthew" because of the phrase he often says, "matthew for the love of god — !"

cried when he spent four weeks tutoring ino for his physics paper and he got 3/100.

gojo hangs out so much at his office that they had to put a sign that said "no gojo allowed inside"; the said sign was promptly ignored and nanami had to visit the hr department because of some very interesting words thrown around in his office when he saw jack frost's cousin swirling in his chair.

has only one tattoo but will never ever disclose where it is and what it is.

hiromi hiruguma — apt. 203 ; 11th floor

( lover's grip by them & i // love letters // forced to be the one who got away // banana bread )

has his very own law firm and his office is on the same floor as yn's studio in the commercial block. it's both his worst nightmare and the best thing because the only other choice was next to sukuna's flower shop and he Cannot have that.

his number is saved as "sexie lawyer," "sex c attorknee" and variants in everyone's phone and he has given up on trying to change that.

has a group chat with nanami, shiu and kusakabe and all of them talk so much shit about their work and the other tenants. one time, they were so in deep figuring out the truth behind the divorce of apartment 105 that hiruguma had to make them sign an nda.

since his office is on the same floor as yn's studio, she sometimes hangs out there when she doesn't have any clients and he doesn't have any cases and they watch buzzfeed unsolved.

takuma ino — apt. 338 ; 6th floor

( cherry wine by grentperez // splintered skateboards // but i miss you like a little kid // temporary tattoos )

works as an intern in nanami's company but he might as well be working at the tattoo studio with how much time he spends there. he has his own small desk and a chair in their backroom and he nearly cried when he first found out.

once pulled the fire alarm because he forgot the papers nanami asked him to get and he'd chew on glass before disappointing his mentor. nanami had to make it very clear that he's allowed to forget things but he's not allowed to pull the fire alarm for the hell of it.

he once intentionally placed bread crumbs outside kusakabe's apartment and then procured a few ducks to give the older man a surprise because he insulted ino's hello kitty tank top.

once fell down 28 stairs because there was a double rainbow and he had already downed three red bulls. he regrets nothing.

atsuya kusakabe — apt. 299 ; 6th floor

( softcore by the neighbourhood // fog in winter mornings // i am not a violent dog, i don't know why i bite // cocktails with tiny umbrellas )

no one knows where he actually works; it could either be with nanami or with hiruguma or it could be somewhere entirely different. (it's actually with shiu and toji, he's the head of their marketing department and he has no intention of telling the others where he works lest they bother him there too like they do at his apartment.)

surprisingly likes coochie and takes her to work with him if shiu doesn't have her already. she's their mascot and he'd never admit it to anyone but she has her own small desk with toys and her own name cards.

got forced to dress up for halloween by ino for the party and showed up as the grinch, only to find out that it was just a normal get together and he was only one in costume — he has hated that kid ever since; his hair was green for two fucking weeks.

his most played song on spotify last year was symphony no. 7 in a major, op. 92: iv. allegro con brio by beethoven and shoko gave him so much shit for it that he never ever asked for aux again.

shiu kong — apt. 692 ; 7th floor

( into it by chase atlantic // chevy corvette // always borrowing grief from the future // sunlight on water surfaces )

owns a security firm that he built from the ground up and is probably the most laidback guy ever. babysits coochie when yn goes out and is secretly coochie's biggest fan.

comes from old money but never tells anyone about it outright. casually mentions stuff like "the old manor" or "the private school i went to" and then proceeds to drop the most insane lore when asked about it.

lives in the apartment complex only because he was bored in his penthouse on the other side of the city and watching yn and sukuna argue has got to be the most fun thing here. he once saw sukuna spray yn with water and then proceeded to watch yn push him into the lobby fountain. no, he did not intervene.

has been babysitting megumi since forever and the teen has his own room in his apartment. toji is jealous because his kid actually enjoys shiu's company while he just gets called "shit clown" by his own blood.

toji fushiguro — apt. 375 ; 6th floor

( party monster by the weeknd // half finished whiskey // something other than time that heals all wounds // headlights on the ground when it's drizzling )

works right under shiu at his security firm and does not treat shiu as his boss at all. shiu threatens to fire him every hour but never does. no one is surprised why.

has a fun ton of money due to his job but he's stingy as FUCK. megumi pretended to not know him once when toji had a breakdown over which cereal to take home with him while standing in the aisle.

lives in the apartment right below shiu and calls him when he's out of creamer for his coffee and has shiu pour it from above. yn, who lives right under toji's unit, is sick of them.

will literally never answer his phone, so if someone needs something, they have to either ask someone on his floor to ring his bell (continuously) or go to yn's apartment and throw stones up at his fire escape. (shiu banned them from his apartment after ino fell out the window and on the fire escape; on a completely unrelated not, ino is now banned from standing/sitting/laying down/dilly-dallying/attempting to catch pigeons near any window without adult-er supervision).

[sapphicmsmarvel]

cassian x reader: dating a high maintenance girlie

Hello, if this seems extra its cause it is but this is quite literally my high maintenance routine. This is just one of my favorite parts of life and I love the idea of these big burly men doing skincare with their girls. 

i’m a high maintenance girly bc i like to be. pls this isn’t a pick me bullshit type thing. Im a girls girl yall. 

-This man doesn’t know shit about self care. 

-He knows the basics but like, nothing that would genuinely make him feel comfy in his own skin even more than he already is. 

-He uses 3-in-1. Technically 4-in-1 because face wash is separate formula than body wash but you digress. 

-Y'all know that stereotype of a guy glowing up after getting a girlfriend? You guys were the blueprint for that. 

-You taught him his hair type (2A), his skin type (dry), his preferred scent profile for himself (spicy, woody, aromatic). What his favorite types of care products are, he loves leave-in conditioner, cream cleansers. He’s not a fan of super heavy moisturizers because he’ll get overstimulated.

-These are just things this man has never thought about. 

-When you two leave the house for a Court Duty, you end up doing Cassian's hair. He wants to look nice, for lots of reasons, but especially because he wants to be let back into Summer. He wants to be able to take you on Summer Court dates! 

-He lives for that sliver of time you’re able to squeeze in before going somewhere. You doing his hair, him staring at you in the mirror if you’re behind him. If you’re in front of him, his large hands on your plush hips as you bite your lip in concentration trying to make his wild hair look nice. The feeling of your fingers through his scalp and how even when there’s a knot, you never tug or pull hard enough that it hurts him. You’re gentle and sweet with him even when he thinks he doesn’t deserve it (spoiler: he always deserves it) 

-He loves how high maintenance you are, it helps him remember to take care of himself. 

-You do a little self care sunday reset type of thing. It helps you get ready for the week. 

-He finds these routines utterly fascinating. 

-He begs to watch you do them, not even in the dirty way but it's just so interesting to watch. You also banned him from getting frisky when you do the routines. This was your time, he was welcome to watch but he would step out if you asked because you needed to be alone. 

-Some days, your routines are a bit more intense, such as the monthly waxing for your legs and armpits. Coochie too. 

-He flinches every single time he watches you wax some part of you, especially the coochie. He kind of has an attachment to that part. 

-You do the whole shabang sometimes. Wax legs, armpits, etc. Exfoliating shampoo, regular shampoo, conditioning mask, conditioner. Then the body stuff, exfoliating, shaving any parts you didn’t want to wax, double cleansing your body with antibacterial then the fun scented stuff. Then when you’re out of the bath, face extractions, face wash, whatever else you want to add. And then body creams. Then you’re done. 

-He’s just amazed every single time. 

-He also loves that you make a little thing out of it. You make it fun for you. There's a whole closet filled with different scents, treatments, formulas, etc. 

-You always smell good. There are deodorants shoved in every single bag you own, every room for that matter. Massive perfume, bodycare, candle, anything that makes a room or you smell good, you have it. 

-Even going to bed, you put perfume on.

-He loves that you say “I only wear it for myself Cass, it’s just a bonus that you love it.” Because he knows it’s true. 

-Sometimes he goes in just to sniff around. The fool just stands there and sniffs stuff. You had no idea why he decided to sit in the closet and sniff things in the dark. However, you did know that when you opened the door to see a nearly 7 foot tall clown smelling your beloved collection, you screamed bloody murder. 

So loud Azriel came running with his knives. Cassian just looked at you like “what’s your deal bro?” 

You were trained by two of the most powerful warriors, yet your first reaction was to scream. 

“Why didn’t you try to fight me?” Cassian asked, “I’ve seen you kick someone down for less.” 

“I am in my bathrobe Cassian! You want me swinging my legs around with my flaps out?” 

Azriel chose to leave the room after that. 

-You also always have perfectly manicured nails. And somehow someway you taught your tricks to the Valkyries so now they are able to have beautiful nails while still disemboweling enemies. 

-Great, now he and Az have four she-devils with perfectly manicured nails and glossy hair that can slay their enemies with one swipe. The four of you were feral together. He wouldn’t be surprised if he walked into the camps one day to see some guys dead because they were sexist. 

-You also got him and Az roped into these skincare nights. 

-He loves sitting there with a face mask on and you using one of your crystal rollers rolling it onto his skin. Bougie bitch eats it up. 

-One of your favorite things to do is wear a sheet mask and hide in a closet.  Scares him every single time. 

-Your stuff is everywhere, you’d be damned if you were uncomfy in your own home. After talking to Cassian and Azriel to make sure you weren’t being a shitty roommate, you kind of went crazy. 

-Lip balms in every room, hand creams, candles. Hair ties and claw clips. Fuzzy blankets stashed in every trunk you could find. 

-Rhys made fun of it, but ate his words pretty quickly when Feyre saw the beauty of having lip balms and hair ties/claw clips stashed everywhere. (and he later found the joys of said products and gave you a gift basket as an apology….you didn’t even remember that he judged you because you simply didn’t care).

-Also, the guys live in fucking luxury. The home always smells good, they never have to worry about chapped lips or dry skin. Or pesky hair in the way. Anywhere they want is a blanket or cute pillow to prop their heads up. 

-they were living like animals until you showed up.

-Cassian having a mate is the best thing to ever happen to Az. 

-Feyre, Nesta, Elain, Emerie, Gwyn, Morrigan and even Amren shop your stash of body care if they wanna smell a certain way for a certain fun time (wink). 

-Even Nuala and Cerridwen will approach and ask you. Obviously you say yes. You own so much you’ll never get through everything in time. 

-Plus you’re a Girls Girl. You’re gonna be there for your girls in your life.

-Speaking of the ladies in your life. 

-When you and Cassian have twin baby girls, you were ecstatic. Either way you were going to be happy but you always wanted a girl and now you have two!

-Teaching them how to take care of their skin and hair has been the best for you and Cassian. He loves watching his girls play with their hair. He loves having his hair braided by them. 

-Family self care nights become a Thing (that sometimes an Uncle or Aunt will join).

-He loves you because you taught him how to actually care for himself and his mental health. You showed him how he needs to stop and appreciate the smaller things. That not everything has to be a chore. 

-He loves you more than anything, maintenance and all.

[obitoanon]

Hey Obi it's Hidan-anon mod. I just need a place to vent bc (i'm on a diff acc) and I haven't had time to properly express my emotions so I hope this is ok.

I'm SO MAD I can't properly or feasibly put my rage into words. TRUMP?! AGAIN?! ISN'T HE A CONVICTED FELON BY NOW? WASN'T THERE RECENT COURT HEARINGS?! HASN'T HE BEEN CHARGED WITH RAPE?! ISN'T HE A KNOWN PEDOPHILE?! DIDN'T HE WEAKEN THE INFRASTRUCTURE OF ABORTION RIGHTS THE LAST TIME HE WAS PREZ!!!!!!!!!!! DIDN'T HE THREATEN TO KILL HIS OWN SUPPORTERS!

I just can't understand how America (read: the goverment) is letting this happen. My heart broke when I read about the recent news of the 18 year old woman who was BEGGING doctors for an abortion and couldn't GET A SINGLE DOCTOR TO PERFORM IT?! I cried reading that! DO NOT HAVE KIDS LADIES, THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW IN THE US OF A!

I feel VIOLATED by this presidency, if you can even call it that! Healthcare for women is so much better in Canada! I'm American but am I GLAD I'm living in up north for now! Forget moving back! I'm staying here!

LADIES AND THEIR COOCHIES ARE IN DANGER FROM THIS ADMINISTRATION, AND I FOR ONE AM I NOT GOING TO SIT BY AND TAKE IT!

Sorry you don't have to post this, you can DM me when you see this if you don't want to post this to your wall I'll understand ♡

HIDAN MOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💓

My blog is open to anyone who needs to vent, curse, cry scream break things. It's COMPLETELY fine and you're welcome to use my inbox as a batting cage all you want babe💓

I am FURIOUS that that sack of orange shit thinks he has totalitarian power and he seems to think can do as he pleases? Absolute power? Does he really think like that?

I feel crushed and dehumanized too😔And I don't even live in the states. It's a scary climate now for women, for LGBTQ+ kids esp, for wages for taxes healthcare. For black men and women. For the disabled. Sure Trump promised to remove the abortion ban but as far as I'm aware it's his administration that put it there in the first place? Am I right? And what about immigrants? Is he going to finally build a wall and deport all the immigrants or refugees who enter? WHAT ABOUT PALESTINE?! From what I know he's said he wants to finish what Israel started. So yeah there's a lot happening and Americans have every right to feel unsafe and uncertain. 😔💓🫂(not too mention the rest of the world since American politics trickle down into every aspect of everything else)

But I'm not hopeless. America is resilient if anything. And Trump doesn't have absolute power, despite whatever project 2025 is... I think it's illegal? Very sus about that >>_>>

It's going to be a long four years.. at least we'll have memes 🤣😂 Can't wait to see Trudeau's face when they next meet LOL

Stay in Canada with me babe 😘we have polar bears or so I hear..

[ticklishbeans4]

Ok well now I gotta give my Finn, Jake, and Prismo headcanons. It's law.

I've been getting sucked back into Adventure Time as of late, so this is law lol

Finn The Human

Ler-

He's became more of a ler as he got older and got more practice with tickling.

He's generally a playful ler and loves to play tickle games with his friends.

His favorite thing to do is wiggle his fingers just over his lees tickle spot and tease them with stuff like "I'm gonna get you!" or "I'm not even touching you!"

He'll challenge the lee to see how long they can last being tickled/keep their arms up/keep still.

He'll definitely laugh along with his lee, no doubt about it.

Lee-

He's a silly lee, very wiggly and tends to kick or punch, so he usually needs to be held down.

His worst spots are his knees, belly, ribs, and feet.

He has a high pitched squeaky tickle laugh, sometimes does his scream when a really bad spot gets targeted.

His biggests lers are Jake (obviously), Bubblegum, and Marceline. Though Bubblegum usually disguises it as "needing help with an experiment"

He was a huge lee as a kid, loved getting tickle senseless by his friends. As he got older he still enjoyed being tickled, but not as much as he used too.

It was especially rare that he let anyone tickle him after Jake died, but it happened occasionally, usually only with Marceline or Bubblegum.

Jake-

You just KNOW Jake is the biggest ler in all of Ooo.

His ability to stretch and shrink and bend his body in all types of ways makes him near unstoppable.

He targets Finn, Prismo, Lady, and his kids the most, but he's definitely not afraid to attack other people.

He usually goes for an all out attack, getting a lees worst spots and utterly wrecking them. But he can be gentler if he needs too.

Definitely will tease a lee for being so ticklish, and uses the old "Tickle tickle tickle" or "Coochie coochie coo!" And if he finds out a lee can't say tickle, he'll keep going till they say it.

He sometimes doesn't realize when someones had enough, but he's usually really good about it.

Has definitely ratted out Finns worst spots and has tickled him in front of people before to embarrass him.

Lee-

Not as big as lee as he is a ler, but still enjoys being tickled.

Not super ticklish, but his spots are his belly, behind his ears, his feet, and the lower part of his ribs.

His powers make him tougher than most when it comes to tickling, so it takes a lot to get him to tap out.

He is hella weak to raspberries though, those take him out, same with feathers or anything buzzy. Once Finn jokingly attacked him with an electric toothbrush and Jake banned them from the tree house.

Mans is almost not tease-able. He can't be flustered by most teases. But if a ler tells him a bunch of bad jokes while tickling him he'll get flustered.

The people that get him the most are Finn and Lady. His kids used to gang up on him, but not so much anymore. Sometimes Marceline pretends to be about to eat him, just to blow a raspberry on him.

Prismo-

Ler-

He's not much of a ler, but he does like messing with his friends now and again.

Jake is his favorite target, but he's also gotten Finn and even Simon once or twice.

It's hard to be playful like that with the other cosmic entities.

He technically can't touch anyone, but he can summon things, or even just snap his fingers and make someone feel like their being tickled.

He laughs along with a lee cause he thinks their reactions are funny, and often teases a lee about how silly their face is or how funny the noises they make are.

Lee-

He really really likes being tickled, but absolutely cannot for the life of his ask for it.

He's summoned Jake more than once just for a tickle fight, though he had to pretend it was for other stuff. Jake always sees through it though.

He actually had no idea he was ticklish till Jake decided to test it out when they were chillin once. Jake just scratched at the spot where Prismo's belly would be and both of them were shocked when Prismo laughed.

Turns out his worst spots are his belly, neck, hips, and thighs.

His usual lers are Finn and Jake, really they're the only ones who tickle him, as no one else has ever tried, and he's way to nervous to ask anyone else.

He does his best to keep still when being tickled, but sometimes can't handle it and disappears somewhere in the cube. He'll come back pretty quickly, but only if the ler promises to not make fun of him for running.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

I don't keep up much with defend your blurbo but I feel like whenever I check in I notice the people that are like, on the offensive (people asking why the hell others are into the character) are kind of like, missing something, at least from my perspective

So to those people, let me explain what I mean. A lot of you seem to be operating under the assumption that when we find certain characters hot, that we want to fuck and/or date them, which like, is clearly true of a large portion of this blog's follower base, but absolutely not all of us.

Like, using Toji as an example for a minute. I mean first of all for me mainly I just like him as a character & think he's cool, the fact that he's one of the few male characters I find hot is kind of secondary but I do find him pretty hot. Never in a million years would I want to sleep with or date him. I love him but I would not want to even get near that man. And like, I'm (a sex-averse) asexual so obviously I don't want to fuck any characters I find hot, but that doesn't mean I wanna be in a long-term committed relationship with them or something either. For some people the attraction is purely aesthetic, for some people they do find their personality and such hot but still aren't into them Like That, or for some people they are attracted to the character romantically or sexually but still don't want to be with or have sex with them. Sexuality is a complicated beast and just like one can have desire without attraction, so too can there be attraction without desire.

Anyways it's 3 am so sorry if this makes no sense but to conclude essentially like, while assuming people want to fuck/date the character in question is kind of a fair assumption from what I've seen from others on this blog. When you base your whole argument around that it's kind of weird for other people who don't want to because it ends up like "this character would be a terrible partner/one-night stand/fwb/whatever! why would you want that??" "well, I don't, so..."

Like I feel like other people on this blog almost have like. A different definition of "hot" or what finding someone hot means exactly than I do and it has lead to a lot of confusion for me

tl;dr Toji hot but I would probably get a restraining order on him

For context, they are responding to this post about Toji

Well, dyb was a spin-off series from Fandoms vs. Illiteracy, which is a series where people wanted me to ban characters or fandoms because they were problematic for various reasons. Plus the first one was asking how people could find a character attractive when there is a possibility that doing the horizontal tango would leave you with and I quote "third-degree coochie burns" So hot takes and friendly discussions/debates are kind of the point of the series. It's called Defend Your Blurbo because you're defending your blorbo from someone's hot take.

Now, dyb has now spawned its own spin-off series. There's no guarantee that it will have fewer hot takes, but maybe it'll be less debating.

And I am fully aware that not everyone wants to bang the characters. I picked the term hotter for a reason. You can go as PG or X-rated as you choose to interpret it.

[auvpbowman]

Story Time!

I was in a Facebook group that is supposed to be for self care tips (your girl has depression). Anyway I got tired of seeing SO MANY POSTS that had nothing to do with self care, especially Christian-centric posts (your girl is a pagan). Like I’m sorry but is Jesus Christ going to wash my coochie for me? No I don’t think so, so why is he in a self care group?

Before I continue I have no problem with christians. What I do have a problem with is their religion being shoved down my throat especially in places where it isn’t even remotely relevant or is completely unprovoked. If religion comes up in the conversation, I will chat about it all day. But I’m not trying to see Bible quotes while trying to find self care tips.

Back to the story. Anyway, after the 7th irrelevant post in this self care group I decided to comment “I’m sorry. I’m confused. What does this have to do with Self care? That post happened to be a Christian based post (I’ll provide a picture of the post). I did not comment about it being religious or anything, just that I wasn’t sure how it was relevant to the group.

The post:

Some lady (not the one who made the post) decided to comment and say “It’s not a religious post! It’s a faith based post. Some people use religion as self care!” And she went on a whole spew about how I needed to get over it and she at least seemed very passive aggressive. Which 1st off, “faith based” is still religious… and she also continued to say that religion is often a part of people’s self care which is admitting that the post was religious. (Correct me if I’m wrong). Secondly, I never said it was religious. Someone else in a completely separate comment said it was, but why do you have to come at me sideways? I just stated that I was confused! Now she is correct, LOTS of people do use religion as part of their self care and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t have a problem with that. But what does that specific post have to do with self care?

I explained to her that I never said it was religious, just that I didn’t understand how the post was relevant. I then responded to the girl who did point out that it was religious in a different comment and said I agree, seeing a bunch of religious posts in the group does get tiring and also that I had a feeling if I made a pagan centric post it would not be received as welcoming as the Christian posts do.

The lady commented back, going on another tirade about how I was wrong and then decided to point out that I responded to someone else. She then also went off about how it wasn’t a Christian post because anyone can change the names of god and Satan to match their beliefs. (I don’t understand her logic.) I then pointed out that Satan and god are Christian deities. She argued with me about that and then I said “you’re right I’m sorry. I believe the Jewish community also has Satan.” (I have no idea if that’s factually correct but she accepted that answer.) The ended up removing from the group though. (Not sure why, but I’m guessing it’s because I pointed out that the post wasn’t relevant.)

Anyway I decided to make my own self care group but it doubles as an adulting 101 group where we can all trade hacks, self care tips, and teach each other how to adult but without having religion of any kind be shoved down our throats. Religion as a whole is not banned from the group but making a religion only post is. For example: posting a Bible verse, no. Talking about how you incorporate your religion into your self care to share with others in your religion, YES! Discussing religion in the comments: yes!

I just hate it when posts in groups have NO relevance to the actual group. Anyway if you want to join my group, you can! I just made it this morning tho so not a lot of people! (I can’t post the URL for some reason so I’ll post a screenshot of the actual page itself)

[im-an-anxious-wreck]

Hold Out Your Hand And I'll Reach For You Too

Chapter Nine • Janus

Word Count: 1,319

HOYHAIRFYT chapter collection

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-

Old Friends And Battered Pasts

-

It was Virgil.

Somehow, after these past several years, he'd found Janus, had he been looking for Janus long? How had he escaped G? How… why—

Janus just blinked at Virgil, trying to take it all in when he belatedly noticed that Remus' brother was with him. "Ah, um. Good afternoon. I— do please come in." It was a bit hard to get his feet to move from where they'd been practically frozen to the carpet, but he managed, moving out of the way and closing the door behind their unexpected guests.

"Who 'wis it, Mr. man the planet stan?" Remus called from upstairs.

"Your brother," Janus replied, still in a bit of shock as he guided The Prince and Virgil to sit down, although he was starting to pull himself together.

Remus predictably came bounding down the stairs. "Stinky cheese man!"

The Prince rolled his eyes in affection. "If anyone would be stinky, it'd be you, but yes, hello, Duke."

Remus giggled as he vaulted over the back of his armchair and sat down. "Ooh, hello? Who are you! Can I have your name?"

"Hello, and no, you may certainly not. But you can call me…"

"Charcuterie board? shark coochie board! Board da ban?" Remus asked, rapidly firing joke nicknames with no time for Virgil to answer. "Bingo bongo? Shits and—" 

Janus cut him off. "Tsk, tsk, is this any way to treat our guest? Let him answer."

The Prince and Janus may understand that Remus was just being silly, and also trying to vent his 'meeting a new person' anxiety, but Virgil, who also dealt with new person anxiety, might not take it so well.

"Sorry, oh most farty guest." At a look from Janus, he quickly amended it to: "Uh, I mean, most… party guest… yeah."

"Well, you can call me… um—"

"Um! What a great nickname!! I can't believe I've never used that one before! I—"

"Duke—" The Prince began to no doubt tell him that it came off as mocking but stopped as Virgil began to laugh.

"Yes, because I totally meant for 'Um' to be my nickname, not that I still can't think of a good one."

"Well, good. Because I'm calling you 'Um' for the rest of time! So, I knew it! Um is a brilliant nickname. I'm a genius."

"To be fair this has happened before," Roman said.

Janus raised an eyebrow. "Oh, don't tell."

"Well, considering he told me to call him Chrysanthemum and then was like 'no, wait—', and then he said 'twig' so I'd say that this is almost a habit, or at least close to a pattern."

Remus laughed. "Oh man, I sure wouldn't want to be an author who had to keep typing Chrysanthemum over and over again! Like Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum, Chrysanthemum. That'd be so difficult. How many times do you think a dyslexic author would have to struggle through that?"

"I... Well, that was a very specific example…" The Prince just stared at his brother for a moment  before continuing, clearly used to Remus' antics, "Anyway, so," —he glanced from Janus to Virgil a few times— "You two know each other?"

"Yeah," Virgil quietly admitted, and Janus couldn't help but wonder what he must think of him.

How cruel he was, how horrible it'd been of him to just leave like that.

Oh, how he must resent Janus.

"We do. This is, um, this is my friend that I was telling you about, Princey."

The Prince's eyes widened in as much concern as shock. "What! This— but you— your friend was my brother's partner this whole entire time?"

"Whoah," Remus said. "Trippy! Welp, you know what they always say, 'the world's a small dick'."

"I guarantee you they don't."

"Yeah, well�� I do sooo…"

"Yes, but you say a lot of things. Ach, wait, we're getting off topic. So, er, weren't there some things you wanted to ask him?"

Virgil took a small sharp breath in and Janus wouldn't have been able to tell if he hadn't already been watching Virgil closely for any reactions.

"Um, yeah, I—, well, yes, I guess so."

"I'm listening," Janus said, quiet, almost too quiet but he knew Virgil had heard him by the way he tried to hide the extra panic Janus' words had brought.

"Right, well, I…"

The Prince seemed to see something there too because he stood and said, "Come on, Duke. Let's go outside, see your garden, and let them… catch up." He looked at Virgil before he left, however. "We'll just be right out the back door right here, okay?" At Virgil's hesitant nod, The Prince continued, "Let me know if you need anything."

After the twins had left, Janus leaned forward in his chair slightly and looked at Virgil, trying to mask his concern with curiosity. "You have questions for me?"

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… it just, kinda seems like you started to resent me… and you never…" Virgil's eyes cast to his lap as his breath stuttered, he continued though, voice soft, "You never visited me."

Janus paused a moment to collect his thoughts. "There was a clause that I didn't think too much of at the time, but it said that I couldn't come within fifty feet of G's property after my work contract was up… and since he didn't… so with you never leaving except to go to these high society events that I certainly wasn't invited to. I'm so sorry, Virgil. I should've, I should've done more somehow. I—"

"But then why did you just leave without telling me? Wh— what did I do wrong?" Virgil sniffed and wiped under an eye. "I just don't understand what I did wrong."

"No! I— you didn't— oh, Virgil." Janus took a steading breath. "You didn't do anything wrong. I was… young and stupid. I was trying to get you to like me less so it wouldn't hurt as bad when I had to leave. I even tried to get you out in exchange for more work with less benefits… not that they were great to begin with. But I wasn't able to— I just eventually gave up, and that was so wrong, and I'll never forgive myself for that. I just. I know this'll never be enough but I'm so sorry."

Virgil hesitated, seeming to be carefully picking his words. "I... need time, but… I think someday I'll be able to forgive you. It's just— a lot."

"Of course! That's more than I could ever hope for." Janus wanted to jump up and sit on the couch next to Virgil, but he also didn't want to startle or scare him, so Janus said, "I'm going to get you a cup of water." 

Virgil was still trying to settle into an even breathing pattern but nodded. "Okay, th— thank you."

While Janus busied himself with getting a glass and filling it at the sink, he considered everything that'd happened. Today had been wild, he'd never expected to get to see Virgil again, let alone talk things out with him —although Janus highly doubted that they were anywhere near done with that—, but nothing about them, how they had met, or their situation they'd found themselves for all those years was normal.

Not being able to help, let alone save Virgil, had weighed guiltily on Janus' mind for far too long, but now that he was free, Janus would make sure that nothing would ever hurt him again. Maybe The Prince had a plan to take down G.

And he knew, even as briefly as he'd seen The Prince and Virgil interact, that by The Prince's loving expressions and the air of soft care that he had around Virgil, that The Prince also wouldn't let G harm Virgil.

He definitely needed to have a chat with The Prince tonight.

It would be dealt with. They would make sure of it.

-

Next

[emrobinson03]

My Book - CANT Ban US!

CANT Ban US! Is the idea I came up with because I did a drag story time at 3 Auckland libraries for children. I got lots of backlash emails spammed from haters both uni and personal emails, Messenger, Facebook, Instagram etc and now they are investigating into all the hate and backlash n might cancel all the events in future years. I also got the idea because drag in many states in the US are passing bills to ban all drag queen performers. They also are passing bills to ban transgender people.

(Finn Gerring, Miss Carprise)

this image was taken as a joke before I performed. My friends were being annoying so I took a photo oh my make up. This make up was done in 30 minutes when my make up takes a long time to do originally. I didnt think I would use this image but Emil liked it and I had a look at it and I started to like it a lot.

I talked about this image in my last post but I just wanted to say That I also think the colours and the background comes together in the photo. I really like my make up.

(fields, cody coochie)

the image of fields after their shower with their hair up in a shirt dancing the first photo to start off all the other drag performers. I took the photo in the moment and it was a slay photo.

I took a photo of fields in the shower in their drag. The image was over exposed but I edited it on photoshop. Its not my favourite photo of them but it was the best one out of all that I got on my camera. If I had time i would have shot it again and done better lighting and thought of positions and areas for photos

Reign Bowman

Reign Bowman is on of my favourites I love their shirt in this photo its really good going with the title of the book. I also would reshoot this photo as its not in a good place as where I would want it. The black background. I also would change the lighting and position of them in my second photo

AURA ENVY

Aura envy is a drag super star used to be known as Feta their drag has changed a lot over the years with make up skills dancing creative ideas etc I wanted to capture them in thwir performance because they are a non binary drag performer which I am too. They are really photogenic normally on stage but I don't think I got the right angles for them on stage because I dont like the photos as much as I do of others I did a big shoot with them on the 3 sd cards I lost but thats okay I still got to put them in my book which I wanted. I would definitely reshoot these photos if I could. I love the reaction and pure happiness on kitas face.

Lady Armilade

Lady Armilade is a really cool person and performer and I got to capture there ultimate crazy energy they bring to the stage at first I didnt think I would be able to get any good photos because they had too much energy on stage and was running arounf basically but I got a few really goood ones. I like how bright their wig is in the photos and the colour pop from the outfits just fit together so well.

Twinkubus

Twinkubus is an amazing performer I met them twice recently and got to photograph them at our most recent show we were apart of at ding dong. Their make up was soo cool and so was their costume I just couldnt not photograph it I saw them on the pole dancing and I just asked them for photos I was going to use the photos of thsm on the pole but It just didnt look right in the book so I decided to do the one where hes posing on the ground and the close up of thwir face and hands holding the pole. I really like the way the background is really dark compared to their make up and clothes

Kita Mean/Anita Wiglit

I photographed Kita mean and Anita wiglit talking to eachother and looking at one another its a really cute photo of how strong their bond really is. Both kita and anita were on Rupauls Drag Race Down under Kita Mean is the true winner of season 1 they both hosted a tv show 2 seasons of house of drag basically Auckland vs Wellington queens and kings it was great. I really like the single photo of kita mean they like it too. They ended up posting it to all social media accounts they have and tagged me in all it was just fabulous I gained so many followers and supporters of my photography n art. I wanted to choose a single of Anita too but there wasnt one in focus which really sucked. This would have to be the best people I shot in this whole photoshoot. They appreciated all the photos and helped me grow as an artist

Flor

Florr is a amazing Latina Drag Queen that I love so much Ive seen her grow her drag over the years and she gives me so much love and confidence. I liked photographing them but the lighting wasnt what I hoped it was too bright and their wasnt much led lights where I photographed at Vesbar. I would like to definitely shoot them again in better lighting. I really like their concept of make up wig costume etc in these series of images but in front of Leds it would have looked so much cooler because the wig was glow in the dark and her green eyelinger was UV reacting.

Kourtney

Kourtney is amazing their drag has improved so much because they are so confident in drag its crazy. I have known them for a few years now because they are my drag mums sister so my drag aunty and they've seen me go through the worst and the best make up of my drag journey. I loved capturing kourtney in the middle of talking to harry it was just so real becausr they werent posing and they didnt notice me taking rhe photos and they ended up loving them. I liked how I took the image of thwir wig and not their face its just something different which I loved. I also didnt have the best lighting there not much leds but it worked and i got some images. I also really liked how their dress sparkled in the image.

Trinity

Trinity is a transwoman and a drag queen. Trinity has been arounf the auckland scene for so many years and has been an inspiration to many other transwomen and drag performers. I dont know trinity that well but she is really kind but she can be very sassy. I wish I could have gotten some more photos of them in much better lighting but it just didnt happen. Trinitys outfit also glowed in the dark same as her wig so it would have been cool to get some photos outside when it was dark but I didnt think of that or had the idea at the time which I wish I did because they could have been really cool ideas.

[hy-cks]

To my twin flame soulmate💕: stop reading -oochie stuff and go to sleep, it's so late >:( Ps. I hope this week is not as stressful as the previous one! Love you lots Bronwyn❤️

You caught me :(

You’re right, these delicacies can wait :( love you more 🥰

[tackypies]

it's so funny how andersen and kiara HAVE already confessed to each other in ccc and it was, by all accounts, a very touching and moving scene where it's clear they reciprocate each other's feelings

and then you get fate/grand order where they are apparently undergoing a divorce arc???

the absolute venom and fear kiara harbors towards andersen. the way andersen tries to distance himself from her as if his ccc iteration was sooooo different bc idk, he LOVINGLY KISSED KIARA'S HAND AS SHE DIED?

the fact that kiara BANNED andersen from the ccc event bc apparently she's "too bashful" to have him see her be ~evil~ when he's seen her shove the entire earth into her coochie and talk at length about how she's the only "human" in existence lol !!!!

your honor they are still undergoing divorce proceedings and are not on speaking terms despite deeply caring about each other. it's hilarious. look at the summer camp dialogue and tell me that isn't "i hate my ex" dialogue

[tojishugetiddies]

Guys, gals, non-binary pals and everyone else, I give you my moth Shigaraki headcanons :)

Moth Shiggy hc's

Sfw

•he is tall! Like he is 9 feet 10 inches

•fluffy boi. Lots of fluff, super soft too, like chinchilla fur soft. He is very proud of his floof.

•Will definitely puff out his chest to attract his mate

•when it's mating season he produces pheromones and it spreads through the air and is mostly from his neck and chest fluff

•has 2 sets of arms and will use them to restrain you if he has to, and he would actually prefer of you to try to fight back. Makes claiming you more fun and he feels more accomplished

•he has separation anxiety. Please don't leave him :(

•when he is happy he chitters, croones, coo's and purrs

•expect to be pampered by him, he only wants the best for his mate (although it's kinda hard cuz he can't go to stores or be in public in general cuz well...he a moth boi)

•cuddles, lots of cuddles

•when you get too cold he will use his wings to shield you from the cold and pull you into his fuzz to warm you up. He wants his mate to be comfortable after all

•you can't leave the nest without him, even if you wanted to. It's like 50 feet above the ground and you are pretty sure you would die trying. So whenever you are good Mothura takes you down to the flow and will watch you. You can't leave the forest tho, he won't allow it

•you can't do Christmas anymore if you celebrate it. You tried to teach him and you both managed to put up the tree, some ornaments and tinsel, then as soon as you plugged in the lights this bitch yeeted himself into the fucking tree. Go figure. So yeah now Christmas is banned for y'all

•if you end up having kids at first he will be jealous of them. His kids are hogging his sweet little mate all to themselves!

•but after awhile he becomes a soft but loving father, making sure there's enough blankets for the babies and group cuddles with him chirping and humming happily

•but you have to get past the pregnancy first. When he sees you all swollen with his kids he is super overprotective and handles you like you had the word 'fragile' written on your forehead. Lots of cuddles and hugs, gets you what you need, and always makes sure you are happy and healthy :)

NSFW

•VERY long tongue. Like he can choke you with it becuase it can go down your throat pretty far kinda long. Needless to say he is a god at eating your pussy

•interestingly enough, it seems that he has a regular human penis...that is about 11 inches. Good luck when mating season comes

•speaking of mating season, when it arrives he will produce pheromones and be more dominant and aggressive. His need to mate and breed you is overwhelming to the point of almost painful, so let him have some coochie yeah? Don't make him suffer :(

•when it's not mating season however he is a soft sweetheart. Will gladly let you top him, he loves when you are on him and he sees your tits swaying due to the force you are riding him, he can't help but suckle and nip them while crooning happily

•is also a soft dom when mating season is over. When it's just beginning tho, hard dom. He will get his way one way or another

•this moth man has A LOT of juice in him. Can you blame him tho? His kind find one mate for life.

•can tell when you are fertile by your scent. Yes, he can sniff the air and be like "ah yes, coochie is ready for breeding good."

•will eat you out for hours on end. He loves how sweet your pussy juices are and can't get enough, so be ready to be overstimulated

•if you do end up pregnart when you first start lactating he clamps on to your tiddies with his mouth so fast it's like he fucking teleported

•He also becomes hornier when he sees you all big and round, knowing he was the one who caused it makes his heart flutter inside

[1kook]

netflix & chill

summary If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality. warnings grinding, 2 seconds of sub kook, oral (f), cum eating, vanilla but [ passionate ], unprotected sex, dirty talk tags use of the oldest trick in the book (“your hands are sooo big”), shy oblivious AND gentleman jk? pick a struggle, brief ment of app developer kook, evil and conniving oc wc 10.2k !! wow!!

will I ever write a serious jk fic? NO. this entire thing was based off this pic of jungkook which i’ve said before that i would print out in sepia filter and crumple and stuff in a drawer n then tell my kids 35 years from now was a long lost lover i met on a cruise to the bahamas and never saw again ty to mia more @daechwlta​ for being there during my brief crisis over this fic 🥺

When Namjoon had first not so subtly mentioned the idea of setting you up on a date, it was with a faux air of disinterest that you had masterfully pried the details out of him. Namjoon has a friend, he said, a friend who was kinda sorta attached to his hip. And while Namjoon loved the kid, he also thought this friend could use some social interaction outside of Namjoon.

Now you and Namjoon weren’t exactly the most conventional of friends for him to be proposing blind dates to you at whim. He was your senior at school, your mentor in your scholarship program, an educated man studying for his masters. So when he’d first uttered the words you were immediately on the fence. Sure, the two of you knew each other well and probably got along better than most mentor-mentee pairings among your year, but you doubt Namjoon knew enough of your tastes to offer you up for a blind date.

According to Namjoon, his friend was a kid in the same year as you, making him not so much as a kid as he was your classmate. You brushed it off at first, spewing some bullshit excuse that you’d rather focus on your studies, and how dating was a distraction to your education, as if you hadn’t spent the weekend prior binge watching some Spanish novella while you dutifully ignored your essay.

The second time Namjoon mentions it you agree on the spot. Life on campus could only be interesting for so long, so you might as well make the best of it and go on as many stupid dates as possible.

Namjoon is over the moon.

He tells you he’ll pass your phone number on over to that friend of his—“Jeon Jungkook”—and promises you you won’t regret this because his friend was amazing, really. And for Namjoon to sing his praises for just any underclassmen was unheard of. In fact, besides you, you don’t think Namjoon knows many other students younger than him, and if he did, you hardly doubt he would regard them so highly.

So he gives his friend your number, and so ends your weekly meeting with your mentor. You only realize on the walk back to your dorm that you forgot to ask him about some club at school, the whole goal of this week’s meeting, but by then you don’t really care, the whole conversation fading into the background.

In fact, you forget about the whole ordeal until Friday night rolls around and you’re once again, binge watching another novella on your laptop, when your phone suddenly vibrates.

You were by no means a loser at school, a friendless nobody, but you were also not the outgoing, school-spirited student on the front page of your school’s website, and thus had nearly every app that could produce a notification on your phone muted, every text thread silenced. The only notifications and messages you allowed were from your email and from your roommate, and considering the fact Doyeon was face down in a puddle of her own mid-semester tears right across from you, it was probably your email.

Much to your surprises, it isn’t that “Monday’s Class is CANCELLED” email you were hoping for, but instead some unknown number in a text notification. You roll your eyes, click it open thinking it’s a reminder from some store or from some guy claiming to be from your bank, only to pause at the words written inside the little grey bubble.

hey its jungkook!!! joon gave me your number to I guess ask you on a date soo are you free tmrw night??

The excessive punctuation reminds you a little bit of your kid sister back home and the dorky emails she’ll send you from time to time. It’s with that memory and a smile on your face, that you’re suddenly reminded of what exactly this message is saying. “Oh shit,” you mumble, moving to sit up and reread the text. Doyeon complaining loudly in the background has you reading it twice more before you understand it, and by then there’s a fluttery feeling in your chest.

You were by no means easily swayed by people, but this guy had received praise from Kim Namjoon of all people, so he definitely had some prestige to his name. He doesn’t seem overbearing from this one text he’d sent, but he also didn’t seem completely disinterested.  

You try to match his nonchalant energy, letting him know you were in fact free and down to meet him, just to let you know more details.

You won’t lie, there’s a giddy feeling bubbling within you at the prospect of getting all dolled up, hitting the town, pawning a free meal off some unsuspecting college soul, and maybe even hitting it off. It’s been a while since you’ve dated, sue you.

Jeon Jungkook’s response crushes those dreams as well as hurdles you straight into a nightmare.

cool!! was thinking i could cook for us at my place, drink a little wine, maybe Netflix and chill a little bit??

You are blown away by the absolute gall of this man, to butter you up by painting a pretty picture only to reduce you to a mere booty call. The fact he had felt confident enough to say all that within the same sentence blows your mind.

Did this Jeon Jungkook, who you had no idea of what he looked like, who had no idea of what you looked like, seriously just invite you over for some quote unquote Netflix and chill?

Who, in the ever living hell, was this guy who so sleazily invited women over to fuck with no qualms about who they were?

You’re offended that Namjoon would set you up like this, pawn you off to such a greasy friend. But then again, you guess not everyone knows their friends thoroughly, because this Jeon Jungkook flirtatiously inviting your over for some sex sounds nothing like the golden boy Kim Namjoon had raved about earlier this week. You click your phone off, tapping the device against your lips as you ponder how to best rip this jerk to shreds via text.

It’s amidst Doyeon cursing out her statistics teacher that an idea hits you.

Tomorrow was Saturday night, and as far as you knew, you really didn’t have anything else going on for you anyway. You’d take Jeon Jungkook’s offer, let him cook you a free meal and drink some of his wine. He mentioned having his own place, and vaguely you remember Namjoon saying he lived alone, hence his introverted tendencies, so you could slip in and out without doing that walk of shame through a boy’s dorm hall.

Not that there would be anything to feel shameful about. In fact, if you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.

Ha! That would certainly teach the asshole not to use his poor, unsuspecting friends to reel in nice girls like you into one night stands.

You could practically feel the devil horns begging to poke out of your skull, the forked tail wiggling behind you, as you click your phone back on and text Jeon Jungkook a great!! what’s your address :)

——

Saturday morning and afternoon are as boring as they usually are. You do a little homework, and spend thirty minutes filling Doyeon in on your master plan, which she eats up and even gives you some pointers—“and then you can be like, ‘you sick freak, as if I’d let you near this 5-star, Michelin reviewed, Gordon Ramsey approved coochie’ and throw the whole plate at his head!”—before getting ready for your little date at Jeon Jungkook’s.

You try hard to look good, harder than you would have if he hadn’t offended you by reducing you to a booty call, and Doyeon helps. She does your eyebrows all nice and natural, dusts the thinnest shin of liquid highlighter across the high points of your face, the whole shebang until you’re looking like a sexy, glowing goddess. You shimmy into a pretty dress, nothing too fancy nor too casual, and even pull on those strappy sandals you’d bought on sale last winter before blowing a kiss to Doyeon and meeting your Uber downstairs.

You don’t quite remember what the reason behind Jeon Jungkook living in such a swanky neighborhood a few minutes from campus was, if it was from a job you vaguely recall Namjoon mentioning, or if it was just purely hereditary, but his place is nice. It’s a connected townhouse, something you’d expect a newly wed couple to live in and not some douchebag third year.

Worse comes to worse, you get banned from this rich neighborhood after humiliating one of its residents in his own home, not that you’d ever make it big enough to live here anyway.

You’d texted Namjoon sometime that morning to let him know you were meeting his friend, an ominous text with an even more ominous smiley face attached to it. But it seems Namjoon is easily blinded by underclassmen he trusts, if Jeon Jungkook’s assholish feats and your own suspicious behavior is anything to go by, because he texts you back a polite have fun! he’s a little shy, so it might take a while for the ball to start rolling hahahaha.

Shy my ass, you think closing the door of your Uber behind you. You double check the address that had been texted to you, walking up to the neat townhouse and knocking against the polished door.

It’s a little chilly, and you hope finding an Uber is easier later tonight when you make your grand escape. It’s between these thoughts that the door swings open, revealing the most handsome man you’ve ever met.

He’s attractive, disgustingly so, with dark hair and light brown tips to contrast, tickling his cheekbones. His dark eyes are round and imploring as they meet yours, gaze almost innocent and doe like as he takes you in. He’s got this soft, blue turtleneck on, and it looks like it should be a seasonal sweater reserved for the holidays but he pulls it off nicely on this premature spring night. His pretty pink lips move, and it takes you a second to realize he’s talking.

“___?” He says, and his voice is deep, yet soft in its own unique way. You nod, like a stupid bobble head, because your throat constricted the moment this beautiful angel opened the door. “It’s cold outside, come in!” He urges you, out stretching his palm to make sure you don’t trip over the slight step up the door as he brings you into his home.

“Hi,” he exhales when you’re finally inside, standing a little too close to you in his small entryway.

“Hi,” you finally choke out, a little dazed by how handsome he is, and the sudden realization that you’re supposed to throw your glass of wine at him tonight because he’s a douchebag dawns on you. You blink yourself out of your stupor, taking a step back and gesturing towards your sandal clad feet.

“Oh!” Jeon Jungkook exclaims at the sudden realization. “I forgot to set out a pair of slippers for you,” he sheepishly admits, before he excuses himself to go get some. There’s a tiny ottoman pushed against the wall, beneath a long mirror, that you take a seat on it, carefully unstrapping your sandals.

All the while, you’re deep in thought.

It makes sense that someone like Jeon Jungkook was so forward in inviting you over for sex during your first interaction. Realistically speaking, the guy had it all. He lived alone in a swanky townhouse in a wealthy neighborhood (you finally remember Namjoon saying he did some app developing for major companies—yeah, still in college but already making it big because he was that good), and looked like the blueprint for the perfect man, someone who’d impress your parents. On top of that, the man was was a 21st century Adonis. You hadn’t missed the flash of ink on his knuckles, or the way his jeans had hugged his legs.

He’s making his way back now, inspecting the slippers in his hands, and you don’t miss the way the jeans are pulled taut around his thighs in particular.

Yeah, he definitely knew his way around a woman’s body, there was no way he couldn’t have.

You slip your feet into the slippers he places before you, wiggling your toes around, before glancing back at Jungkook. He smiles warmly, a little beauty mark beneath his lip making itself known. He takes your hand, pulls you up onto your feet, and begins guiding you down the hall and to what you assume is the kitchen.

“I didn’t know what you liked, and I figured asking you three hours before you came over would be too awkward,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. He glances at you again, and upon seeing your inquisitive stare, quickly turns away with flushed cheeks.

Oh this man knew the game, and he knew it well.

Jeon Jungkook still thinks he can play that cute campus boy being set up by his senior card now, after he’d shown you his true colors last night via text. But he has a big storm coming. As much as you could admit he was good to look at, you would not be fooled by some pretty face and tasty food. No, you came here with one goal and one goal only, and that was to give Jeon Jungkook a piece of his own two-faced medicine before running off to tattle to Namjoon.

You reach the kitchen and the heavenly smell of Alfredo sauce swarms your nostrils. “I… I’m still new to cooking, so I hope you don’t mind some Alfredo pasta,” he admits, shy smile adorning his features as he avoids your gaze once again to toy with the dish towel by the sink.

You creep closer to the counter, where two meticulously presented ceramic plates sit beside a wine bottle, and the glands in your mouth suddenly go into overdrive in their rush to make you salivate, and you choke out an overly eager, “it looks amazing!” before you know it.

Okay, you came here with two goals.

——

Jungkook carries the two bowls in his big hands to the dining room beside the kitchen, and you follow behind with the bottle of wine and two glasses as you set the table together. The utensils are already there, but Jungkook runs back into the kitchen anyway to return with some fancy cloth napkins for the two of you.

Just as you're tugging a chair out to sit, Jungkook beats you to it. “Ah, let me,” he smiles, and your heart thunders nervously in your chest as you return the expression, brushing your hands beneath you before sitting down and letting him push you in. Jungkook takes his own seat in front of you, and before you can dig in he calls out to seemingly nobody, “Alexa, dim the dining room lights.”

The overhead lights dim, and with their overbearing glow gone, you can finally appreciate the battery powered candles snuggled neatly into a little bowl on the table between you two. You ooh appreciatively, and Jungkook looks proud of himself.

Then, he says, “Alexa, play…Date Night Playlist.”

You blink, and a soft piano tune begins filtering through a speaker he’s hidden somewhere in the room. Even with the fake candles being your main source of light, the flush on Jungkook’s cheeks is evident as he gestures towards you to eat.

You won’t lie. Jeon Jungkook was extremely endearing.

This much becomes evident the further you get into the meal. As small talk devolves into full fledged conversations and story telling, his shy demeanor slipping away but still sticking to the edges of his personality, you begin to have a more difficult time connecting this Jungkook to the one who had less than 24 hours ago asked you to come over and “Netflix and chill” with him.

But the more you speak, the more distant that image begins to feel. For one, Jungkook does put on a fairly reserved aura for you, telling you about his job but refusing to brag about it even when you egg him on. He has no qualms gassing up his friends, Namjoon in particular, who Jungkook claims is his role model for some unknown reason, given the fact they are neither in the same major nor in any of the same clubs. They’re friends, point blank period, but Namjoon is very obviously a star in Jungkook’s eyes.

Additionally, he’s quite embarrassed to admit why Namjoon had been so set on getting Jungkook to date, but eventually tells you it’s because Jungkook’s last girlfriend had been during your freshman year—two whole years ago! It makes you wonder what he’d been doing since then, if he’d used the time to fully invest in his work or if he’d been mingling around, unbeknownst to his friends, which would explain the flirtatious offer that landed you here.

Still, a part of you refuses to believe last night’s Jungkook and tonight’s Jungkook were one in the same, and if they were, what had made this shy man so unabashedly invite you over for some sex. Was this act all a ploy? Or maybe, was he purposefully trying to ward you away by coming off as a gentleman now that he’d seen your face and wasn’t interested in you anymore?

Apparently it’s neither of the two, and you don’t realize this until you finish your meal and make your way into his living room to finally get down to the long awaited Netflix and chilling. It’s only when you sit down on the couch, smack dab in the middle, because at this point, you’re not gonna throw your wine at Jeon Jungkook like you planned, he was too nice. And if this niceness was an act to get in your panties, you didn’t care at this point. He was hot, achingly so, and at least you’d get a good fuck out of it.

But as you said, apparently not. Because Jeon Jungkook sees you purposefully take up the entire middle of the couch, sultry eyes staring him down, and decides to sit flush against the armrest, somehow leaving a good foot between the two of you, despite the fact you’re sitting next to each other.

Your brain can’t work fast enough to comprehend the situation, before he’s asking you what you want to watch. “Um,” you say, pointedly staring at him and not the screen. “Tr-Transformers?”

The way Jungkook’s eyes light up is insane, already round eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as he eagerly rushes to select it from whatever streaming service he has, probably not even Netflix, all the while chattering on about how much he loves that series, and is so glad you do too.

The whole time, you’re struck by the oddness of his casual tone, the way he’s overly invested in the 20th Century Fox opening, and how he’s very carefully avoiding intruding in on your personal space.

The last point in particular has you wanting to pull your hair out, because you want Jeon Jungkook intruding in on your personal space. You want him pressed so tightly against you you can’t breathe, you can’t move, until you’re drowning in him as he finally lives up to his promise of some Netflix and chill, because you want him, and you want him so. very. bad.

“Oh, I forgot the popcorn!” Jungkook exclaims, and you jump at the sudden volume of his voice, because he’d been pretty silent as he avidly watched the first few minutes of the movie. “Sorry,” he chuckles, and his leg brushes against yours as he shuffles between you and the coffee table on his way out. You vaguely hear the popping of the popcorn in the kitchen, but you’re too distracted by your suddenly overwhelming thoughts.

Okay, one thing was for sure, and that was that Jeon Jungkook definitely had no fucking idea what the phrase Netflix and chill meant, because the way he’d zeroed in on the movie and the popcorn, and not you, was unheard of on such invitations. You deduce he probably heard it somewhere, and, now understanding the true nature of Jungkook’s sweet and shy personality, made no such perverted connection to the phrase.

Which meant he most definitely did not demean you to a mere booty call, like you’d deluded yourself into believing, someone he could hump and dump with no regrets, before calling Namjoon up to thank him. Which meant he’d had no ulterior motives in meeting you tonight, just planning to get to know you at the suggestion of his friend, and had—unbeknownst to him—successfully wooed you thus far.

Which was great! If you turned a blind eye to the evil, conniving plans you’d made without even meeting the guy, and the subsequent flood of self-inflicted disapproval when you realized Jeon Jungkook was a sweetheart who definitely did not deserve having a glass of wine thrown at his face after making you a home cooked meal and giving you the full Olive Garden experience, with his dimmed lights and candlelit dinner and piano music on the background.

Yeah. Perfectly fine.

The only problem now was that you had become so dangerously smitten with the man that you wanted to sleep with him. You wanted that Netflix and chill, needed it like it was the last slot in a daycare class and you were a soccer mom of five wanting to get at least one kid out of the house for the summer for the sake of her own sanity. You were desperate.

No, you scold yourself. This was fine, this was good, this was perfectly okay. If anything, this just further made you enamored with Jungkook, because it proved how gentlemanly he was by not trying to sleep with you on the first date.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t want to, the devil on your shoulder crooned.

The microwave in the kitchen stops, and you hear the sound of cabinets opening as Jungkook pours the popcorn into a bowl. On screen, the main character is meeting a bunch of giant cars-turned-robots, you don’t fucking know.

But the devil was right.

Jungkook hadn’t offered to sleep with you, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to. Furthermore, that didn’t mean he couldn’t be seduced into wanting to, your evil brain suggested, and the hope that had slithered it’s way into your chest from the very moment Jungkook had opened the door, took that fact and ran with it.

“What’d I miss?” Jungkook says when he returns, popcorn bowl in hand.

“Oh, um, he was with the car,” you offer, trying to stop the nefarious smirk from slipping onto your features. Jungkook laughs, cute and airy as he shuffles past you.

He’s too absorbed in the screen, not looking as he sits down, closer than last time until his thigh brushes yours and he jerks back in embarrassment. “Oh, sorry,” he flounders, goes to move away but you act fast.

You grab onto his upper arm with both of yours like an octopus, keeping him flush to you as you gaze up at him with wide eyes. “No, it’s okay,” you rush to assure him, loosening your hold as he tentatively relaxes beside you. You glance down at the popcorn bowl in his hand, swiping a piece to pop between your lips. “It’s easier for us this way,” you say, and you’re pulling that straight out of your ass, because you hate popcorn and have literally zero desire for it and wouldn’t have reached for it anyway if you weren’t trying to convince him this was all for popcorn sharing purposes.

Jungkook’s eyes briefly flicker down to where you’re munching on that popcorn, your lips, before he’s quickly averting his gaze. “Ah, y-yeah,” he agrees, and though he tries to relax back into the couch, you can still feel the tension of his muscles as he settles beside you.

With his eyes no longer trained on you, you snuggle closer into his side resting your cheek against the soft material covering his shoulder, finally letting that devious smirk slip onto your face. You keep yourself close to Jungkook, loving the way his warmth permeates the thick sweater he’s wearing, even if he’s still overly into the movie. You know he’s seen it before, because he keeps telling you random tidbits like, “they use this in the next movie!” Or “he ends up becoming really important in the sixth movie,” and you want to listen to this endearing nerd’s commentary, you really do, but once your brain is stuck on horny, it is stuck on horny.

He doesn’t even eat a lot of popcorn, setting it down not ten minutes later onto the coffee table. You release him as he moves forward, but quickly latch onto him again when he sits back down.

Much to your surprise, Jungkook is way more relaxed then, shrugging you off to rest his hand on the couch behind you, and you inwardly squeal at the prospect of getting to cuddle up to his body, and not just his arm. You cuddle in close to him, leaving your slippers on the ground as you tuck your legs up onto the couch cushions.

Jungkook is so warm and firm, and you know it’s your horny brain speaking, but you swear you feel a tight set of abs underneath the palm you rest on his stomach, and you give an experimental brush over the area. His heart picks up, you hear it by where your head is leaning against his chest, and you tilt your head up to give him a curious glance. His cheeks are red, and he doesn’t look at you even though you know he sees you, so you decide to kick things up a notch.

You sigh loudly, peeling yourself away from him to properly level him with a pout. “Jungkook, aren’t you hot in this?” You ask, pinching the wooly material between two fingers and pulling it from his skin. Jungkook finally looks away from the screen, nibbling his lower lip as he takes in your quizzical expression.

“Um, only a little… but it’s fine!” He rushes to say, and you recall from your conversations over dinner that Jungkook doesn’t much like people fussing over him, so you quickly change gears.

You press a hand against your cheek, the same one that had been resting against his shoulder earlier. “Oh, well… it’s really itchy,” you announce, and his eyes widen, one hand absentmindedly reaching to clutch the material at his chest. “It’s making me really itchy,” you emphasize, and part of you feels bad for taking advantage of his caring nature, but this is all for the greater good, you convince yourself. “Do you mind taking it off?”

“I, uh, yeah,” he agrees, reaching for the hem of his sweater before carefully peeling it off. When he pulls it over his head, you can’t help the triumphant grin that overtakes your face, though you quickly mask it when he finally frees himself from the material. “Better?” He says once he’s clad in only a plain black shirt.

“Mm, much,” you sigh, and nearly soak your panties then and there when a tattooed sleeve comes into view. “Woah!” You exclaim, snatching his wrists up to examine his skin. “What’s this?” You marvel, tracing every inch of delicious skin with your predatory gaze. Jungkook huffs out a laugh, and you glance up to watch as he rubs the back of his neck in that same embarrassed way he’d done multiple times throughout your night together.

“My tattoos,” he says, and then seems to realize the simplicity of his statement and rushes to add to it, “I hope you don’t mind?”

You hum, shifting onto your knees to face him as you continue tracing over a huge tiger lily by his forearm. “Why would I? It’s your body,” you say, and watch the nervous glance melt off his face as he regards you with something new. Something akin to wonder as he lets you trace over more of his ink, nodding along to your words.

“Yeah… yeah!” He agrees, and you grin at his sudden zeal. He chuckles, physically relaxing beneath your touch, and it’s probably the most relaxed he’s been all night as you continue rubbing your hands over every tattoo on his skin, and then purposefully focusing on the ones near his bicep. “Sorry, ‘m just used to people pushing off their own opinions about them onto me,” he explains, and for a moment, the horniness that had been fueling you all night fades away, and you let your hands trail down, past his wrist, until you’re sandwiching his hand between yours.

“Fuck what anyone else thinks,” you tell him, eyes hard as you imagine anyone imposing their stupid thoughts on Jungkook, who was too good for this world. “If you think they’re cool, then they're the coolest thing in the world.”

He smiles at you, and you’ve seen this smile about a million times tonight—when you first came in, when you talked about yourself at dinner, when you mentioned this stupid movie—but it has something swelling in your chest. Something too intimate for a first date, so you quickly move to repress it.

Glancing down at his hand in yours, littered with smaller tattoos across his knuckles, your brain whirls into action. Bringing it up between the two of you, you turn his hand over to line your palms up. “Wow, your hands are so big,” you sigh, slowly reverting back to dirty thoughts as you twist yours and Jungkook’s hands this way and that. He snorts, bends the tips of his fingers over yours just to hear you ooooh again.

“Yeah, they’re pretty big,” he agrees, completely ignoring the film playing on the screen, which is a huge win in your eyes considering how deeply he’d been watching it earlier.

Finally, you see an opening and pounce.

“Well, that means something else is pretty big too,” you murmur, chancing a glance up at his face. His face is the perfect definition of composed, and you can tell when exactly he processes your words because those little pink lips part in surprise, red slowly filling the apples of his cheeks. You let go of his palm, letting it slide between your fingers until it falls limp beside him.

Jungkook watches you with wide eyes, as you raise yourself up onto your knees. “Jungkook?” You mumble, giving him no warning before you’re throwing a leg across his lap, knees pressed into the couch on either side of his thighs.

“Y-Yes?” He stutters, brown hair falling away from his face as he stares up at you. You flash him a sweet smile, and you can tell it relaxes him because his fists unclench beside him.

“You’re a really nice boy,” you sigh, and when you’ve scooted your knees a little closer to his ridiculously thin waist, you finally let yourself sit. You find yourself right before his crotch, which he desperately tries to hide as he shifts around, but can’t with you on top of him. You let your hands flutter to rest at his shoulders, and he gulps. “You’re so sweet and cute,” you add, relish in the flush that climbs up to his ears. “But I’m a little sad you invited me over to Netflix and chill, but won’t do just that,” you pout, a finger tangling itself in a soft strand at the back of his head.

“Huh?” He stutters, eyes nearly bulging out when you wiggle around again. “I-I’m sorry?” He huffs, and when you move too close to his crotch, where his jeans are slowly growing more and more strained, he panics and reaches a hand out to steady your waist.

You feign confusion, flashing him another pout as you duck closer until your noses bump against each other. “You know what it means, don’t you, Jungkook?” You inquire, eyes falling dangerously lidded as you swallow up every inch of his appearances.

He stutters, hands moving up and down as if he doesn’t know where to put them anymore. But you know exactly where Jungkook can put those hands, and you waste no time catching his wrists in your hands to guide him towards your hips. “No?” He breathes, fingers flexing against you, and you smile sweetly at him.

“It means,” you purr, shifting forward until you’re flush against where you need him most. You can barely contain the whimper that climbs out of your throat when you finally feel the rough material of his jeans against your panties. “It means you wanna fuck, Jungkook,” you exhale, tossing your head back as your body basks in the slight reprieve, the way Jungkook squirms beneath you aiding greatly in providing that sensation you craved.

“It’s nothing more than an excuse,” you huff, placing a hand on the back of his neck to steady yourself. At your touch, Jungkook jolts, thighs jumping beneath you and you stifle another groan when the zipper of his jeans prods against your core. “For you to fuck my brains out while some s-stupid movie plays in the background.”

You’re not sure when, but sometime during that last explanation your hands had fully delved into the thick tresses of Jungkook’s hair. You give an experimental tug, and poor Jungkook, so lost in all that you’re telling him, lolls his head back for you easily until the long expanse of his neck is available, soft creamy skin yours for the taking.

You pounce, kissing the skin gently at first, before sprinkling in a handful of nibbles. He’s sensitive, devastatingly so, as he gasps at a particular suck. You suction your lips on the spot below his ear, carefully biting down on the skin as he unravels beneath you. “Will you do it, Jungkookie?” You murmur against the shell of his ear,

He nods eagerly, and his fingers hurt where he’s pressed them deep into your waist, like he’s trying to brand you as his with his mere strength alone. “Y-Yes,” he exhales, hips jerking when you swipe your tongue over the pretty mark you’d left on his perfect skin.

You smother your smirk against his neck, grinding down on him once again. “Yes what?” You tease, and let his strong hands roll you against him afterwards.

“Yes, I-I’ll…” he stumbles, eyes dazed as he watches you through hooded lids. You raise a brow at him, shifting in his lap. It’s enough to kickstart him back up, and he’s biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood. “I’ll fuck you, I’ll fuck you just like you want,” he rambles. He surprises you when he begins rutting up against you, so animalistic and uncontrolled, nothing like the sweet Jungkook that had indulged you over dinner. “I’ll make you come, p-promise,” he rasps.

You smirk down at him, hoping he doesn’t see the metaphorical horns sticking out of your head the further he falls into your trap. Before he can say anything else, you surge forward, slotting your mouths together for the first time that night.

It’s no surprise that Jungkook kisses just like he speaks, carefully like he’s afraid one hard press of his lips will ward you off. His lips are smooth, a fact you’d hyper-fixated on all night as he spoke, but before you can ponder on that any further, something hot and wet is prodding at your lower lip.

The gasp you barely manage to contain ends up escaping anyway when Jungkook’s hand comes up to cup the side of your face, tilting your head to the side as his tongue slithers into your mouth. You become obsessed with the way he touches you, every bit the gentlemen he’d been all night, fingers just barely pressing into your cheek like he doesn’t want to mess up your makeup. His other hand, snuggly wrapped around your waist, pulls you tighter against him until your chests are pressed together.

And that tongue. That tongue of his that leaves no room for argument, quickly shutting down any attempts of yours to overtake him. He’s graceful about it too, one nudge enough to convince you he’s got this, he’ll take care of you. You whimper, a sound Jungkook swallows before he’s biting down on your lower lip.

When he pulls away, his lips are red and glossy, and you wonder if yours are too. “Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he sighs, gazing at you like he can’t believe you’re there in front of him.

Before you can say anything else, he’s burying his face in the crook of your neck to brush kisses over your skin. “Let me eat you out,” he begs, but his voice is so silky and smooth that it doesn’t sound so much as a plea as much as it does a suggestion. He licks a stripe up your neck, and you jump in his hold.

It’s at this moment where the sudden realization hits you, the feeling of having the reins yanked out of your hands. You so vividly controlled every aspect of Jungkook just a few moments ago, when you’d had your own mouth on his neck, and carefully coaxed him into some sex.

But it seems Jeon Jungkook isn’t as soft or as pliable as you had dubbed him to be, and if the way he’s begun subtly rolling your hips into his crotch is any sign, he certainly wasn’t the submissive type either. Which leaves you wondering, exactly what type of person was Jungkook in bed?

Well, you had all night to figure that out.

“Hey,” he whines suddenly, ripping you out of your thoughts. You glance down at him, registering the bored set of his eyes and the unimpressed quirk of his lips. “Pay attention to me.”

You blink, lips twitching. You can barely muffle the giggle that tears itself from your throat, leaning your forehead on his shoulder as your body shakes at his suddenly childish words. Jungkook chuckles too, as if suddenly realizing how out of place his own statement was. “Sorry,” he smiles, cheeks pleasantly rosy and you can’t even stop yourself from kissing him silly.

Jungkook, bless his heart, let’s you rain down a good three kisses on him before he’s pushing you down on the couch beside him. There’s still a slight gleam in his eyes, but the rest of his face schools itself into a hungry expression as he drinks in your body laid out before him. “Let me eat you out?” He asks again, voice but a soft whisper.

You nod, heart beating loudly in your chest as he shuffles down until he can press a kiss to the tops of your thighs. He hasn’t even done anything that intense yet, but you already feel the muscles in your leg ready to spasm just from his proximity.

He’s mouthing at your skin, nudging your legs apart, and you, usually so confident in your sexuality, can’t find the courage to look at him as he so lovingly carries out his ministrations.

As if sensing your sudden bout of shyness (you! shy! Doyeon was gonna tease you about this for the rest of your life once you recapped this for her), he places a soft kiss just below where the hem of your dress begins, before pulling back and uttering, “this okay?”

You hum in response, face warm from just imagining how good he must look down there, peppering your skin with kisses. Your heart nearly rips itself out of your chest when a strong set of fingers wraps around your wrist suddenly, sliding over and around your hand until he’s tangled them with yours.

At this, you nearly break your neck trying to look at him, only to be met with an amused smile. Jungkook gives your hand a squeeze, and you barely get to appreciate the schoolgirl flood of emotions in your chest, when suddenly his free hand comes out of left field, cupping the back of your knee to push your legs further apart, before gliding across the expanse of your thigh to push your dress up.

If Jungkook holding your hand was enough to make your heart skip a beat, Jungkook pressing a chaste kiss to your panty-clad mound was enough to send you into cardiac arrest. Your leg twitches at the sudden touch, a gasp catching in your throat at the delicate path he kisses over your panties, until he’s flicking his tongue over your clit. “Oh,” you moan, and against your better judgment, your free hand is tangling itself in his silky strands.

Jungkook smirks, what sounds like a tiny chuckle muffled as he continues mouthing along your sex, until your panties are soaked both from your arousal and his saliva. Your little thong stares him in the face, and he groans at the sight, glancing up at you with those wide eyes of his like you’re his entire world. “Can I?”

Jungkook gives your clit one final kiss, before he lets go of your hand, and you can’t help the whine that leaves you upon the lost contact. Jungkook eats it up, pressing a kiss turned smile against your knee as he tugs your underwear down. It coils up as it goes, until he’s pulling a tightly twisted maroon thong off your ankles, and tossing it off somewhere behind him.

If his mouth felt good through your panties, it feels even better without. You mewl when he brushes his lips over your clit, plush lips working your sensitive bundle of nerves, sly tongue occasionally creeping out to toy with you further. “Jungkook,” you cry out, back arching. He licks and slurps likes he’s a starved man, and you're the first meal he’s ever had. You want to sob from how good it feels, his tongue flicking over your bud like he just can’t get enough.

He pulls away to catch your gaze, doesn’t let it go as he runs a lone finger over your slit, coating the digit in your own arousal, before carefully plunging it into your warm, wet heat. “Is this good?” He rasps out, watching your facial expressions carefully as he wiggles his finger deeper into your core, his other hand wrapped around your thigh to keep you still. You moan, feeling like a boneless heap of organs beneath this insanely handsome man who can’t keep his hands off your quivering pussy.

His fingers don’t let up, slowly pulling out before plunging back in. The room fills with disgustingly wet sounds, but that fact drifts to the back of your head the faster his fingers go. Your eyes roll into your head, your body twitching with each press of his fingers.

“Is it good, pretty?” He repeats, and since you’re not looking at him anymore, the sudden lick against your clit has your back arching and your thighs quivering with surprise. “Tell me it’s good, ___,” Jungkook croons, and you nod in a hurry.

“It’s good!” You cry, moaning loudly when he slips another finger into you, scissoring the two inside of you. “It’s so good, Jungkook—y-you’re so good,” you moan, and nearly cry actual tears when he curls his fingers inside of you, pressing down against the most sensitive spot within you.

Jungkook doesn’t let up, continues licking and slurping against your sensitive bud, even when your orgasm hits and you’re begging him to stop. He doesn’t let you go until he feels the warmth coat his fingers, feels the wetness begging to seep out of your plugged pussy. He lets you go then, only to move closer to your hole and replace his fingers with his mouth. There, he carefully catches and collects the cum that trickles out, mouth warm against your trembling body.

Your body quivers with each long drag of his tongue over your sensitive cunt, and you’re about to ask him to stop, when he finally pulls away and pushes himself over you, arms caging you in as he stares down at your withered form. “Kiss,” you manage to gasp out, and Jungkook raises an eyebrow in question. “Kiss me,” you repeat, and then, thoughtfully, “please.”

Jungkook complies, leans down to connect your mouths in a sweet kiss. You’re blinded by the delicacy of it all, that you in no way see coming the sudden substance that slides down your throat from his own. You choke at the sudden intrusion, belatedly realizing it’s your cum he’s pushing down your throat, the cum he didn’t swallow.

“That’s it, pretty,” Jungkook croons, licking up the residual come that hadn’t made it into your mouth. “See how you taste for me. Isn’t it sweet?” He murmurs, pushing his tongue into your mouth as if he regretted not saving any for himself. It’s the first time you’ve had your own pleasure in your mouth, so you’re not exactly sure how to feel. What you do feel is the overwhelming surge of arousal at seeing Jungkook rave about it and lap it up inside your own mouth.

He kisses you for a few moments, mouth moving languidly along yours. One hand reaches down to rub soothingly at your inner thigh, like he’s coaxing the feeling back into your body after lulling you into one of the most heavenly orgasms of your entire life. You whimper when he bites down on your lower lip, like you’re still too sensitive to reciprocate, but Jungkook doesn’t mind. He lets you go, licks over where he’d bitten like an apology.

After a few minutes of just this, of feeling like the most cherished girl in the entire world, Jungkook finally pulls away and levels you with a dashing smile. “All good?” He asks, hands still trailing up your waist until they’re framing the swell of your breasts, where he gently circles your nipple.

You nod, dazedly staring up at him and it’s at this exact moment that you realize there’s something stiff poking at your hip. You glance down, and Jungkook glances down with you, until you’re both staring at the hard on he’s hiding beneath his jeans. Jungkook chuckles, low and dark by your ear as he experimentally presses it against you.

Before you can stop yourself, your hand is untangling itself from around his shoulders and slithering down his front. You cup his erection, his shaky exhale giving you the courage to toy with his belt buckle until it’s undone and you're battling with the button on his jeans instead. You put up a good fight, but in the end the angle is too tight for you to properly undo it, and Jungkook brushes your hands away with a soft kiss to your lips.

He pushes himself off you, and you’re immediately craving the warm press of his body against yours the second he’s gone. “Get that dress off for me, pretty girl,” he says, pulling his shirt over his head, rendering you completely speechless as you gawk at his body. Jungkook glances down at you as he goes to undo his pants, a shapely brow raising in your direction and a soft quirk of his lips gesturing for you to do as you’re told.

You spur into action, wiggling the dress up and over your breasts until you’re pulling it over your head and letting it drop beside you on the floor. You’re just in time to see Jungkook push his jeans down his hips, a classic black Calvin Klein underwear band glaring back at you.

The chance to marvel at Jungkook’s thin waist framed by that tight underwear is gone as quickly as it came, and you’re greeted with an even more mouthwatering sight when he pushes the elastic band down, and that big cock you had alluded to springs out of its confines. You groan, subconsciously rolling your hips into the air as you take in the sight of his cock, mushroom tip swollen and flushed. There’s a thick vein that runs along the underside of it, one you only see when Jungkook grasps his dick in his hand and tugs upward like this isn’t his true form, and he can get bigger.

“Ready?” He asks, biting down on his lip as he continues to stroke himself. You nod, wiggling closer to him until the backs of your thighs rest on top of his, knees knocking against his waist. He grants you one more of those kind smiles, before he’s leaning down to press a hand beside your head, the other lining himself up with your soaked entrance.

Running his cock over your folds one last time, collecting as much of your cum as he can, he brushes a kiss against your cheekbone before he’s pushing in. You moan, throwing your hands around his neck as he pierces through the initial ring of muscle surrounding your warm heat. “Holy shit,” you choke, mouth dropped open as you pant like a dog against his shoulder. “J-Jungkook,” you cry, legs tightening around his waist the closer his body presses against yours.

Once he’s at the hilt, pelvis flush against you, you can’t help the series of whines and mewls that escape your lips from being so comfortably filled to the brim.

To your surprise, Jungkook is the first to speak. “Fuck,” he groans, breath hot against your ear. He sounds fucked out, once silky voice raspy with need as he grinds his hips against you tentatively. “This is what you wanted, isn't it?” He huffs, both hands coming down to wrap around your waist, your back arching under the wonderful hands that find themselves squeezing every inch of your back in an effort to pull you closer.

His mouth brushes against yours from this new position, and Jungkook puckers his lips, tongue coming out to lick at your bottom lip. You nearly cry when he finally pulls his hips away, relieves his cock from your tight heat before surging back in. “Wanted this from the moment you walked in, didn’t you, sweetheart?” Jungkook grunts, repeats the same motion until he’s picked up a steady pace of pushing and pulling, each roll of his hips sending a shock of ecstasy crawling up your spine.

You nod, eyes screwed shut as pleasure warms every inch of your body. It’s even worse to not see, because every sound and every touch is magnified tenfold, until you’re drowning in sensations. Jungkook’s choked groans, the slide of his hips, they all become too much too quickly and you’re choking back a sob.

“Fuck,” he groans, glancing down at your withered form like an animal as he picks up his pace. His hold on you tightens, never letting your body move away from him and he begins jack hammering in his thrusts, swallowing your cries with his lips. “Had me thinking you were a nice girl,” he huffs, and you wonder if he knows how tightly he’s holding you, how this grip will most likely leave you with fingerprint bruises tomorrow morning. But then again, you don’t care. All you care about is Jungkook’s voice and his body, guiding you toward completion. “But all you wanted was a quick fuck.”

You steel yourself to look at him again, and when your eyes finally open and focus, you’re wishing you hadn’t because Jungkook looks so hot over you. His pretty eyes, the ones that had led you into a false sense of comfort throughout the night and tricked you into believing he would be easy to bend to your every whim, are hard now. “Isn’t that right, doll?” He spits, and you whine when he punctuates this question with a particularly brutal thrust of his hips. His balls slap against your ass, and you squirm beneath him as you begin to feel the beginnings of an orgasm build in your core.

“I-I thought—“ you stammer, tone pitched from the way he jostles you with every thrust he gives. “Y-You wanted that,” you weekly defend, canting your hips down in a feeble attempt to progress this along.

He snorts, captures your lips in a rushed kiss where he wastes no time snaking his tongue inside your mouth. His saliva trickles into your mouth, and you whine as he purposefully lets it happen, pulls away just the slightest to pucker his lips and let a thick trail of spit fall straight into your open mouth. Satisfied with his little stunt, he rams his cock against you once more.

“If you wanted a quick fuck,” he says, nearly loses himself in your pussy, “you came to the wrong guy, sweetheart.”

You’re too caught up in the nice drag of his cock against your pussy, the tip of his cock stopping him from ever pulling out completely, that it takes you a second to process his words. “H-Huh?” You choke, teary eyes flickering across his face wildly as if the answer will be right in plain sight.

But all you’re met with is the soft pull of his lips as he flashes you a smirk, pearly white teeth tugging at the pink flesh, as he levels you with a glare of his own. Before you can question him further, he’s letting go of your waist to hike your knees into the crook of his elbows, his pouty lips growing further away as he leans back.

This shift has his cock nudging up, rubbing against the hood of your clit where a bundle of nerves he’d only briefly brushed before sits. You shriek in pleasure, writhing beneath him as the sudden sensation hits you full force. “Jungkook!” You sob, his hips slowing to a grind as he watches your face crumble beneath him.

“You like that?” He murmurs, rutting his hips against you shallowly. The change of pace, the rabid piston of his hips slowing to this, has your body melting into his touch. You barely manage a nod, eyes fluttering open and shut as his hips move sensually against you.

His cock brushes against that sensitive spot with each roll of his hips, and you’re a mewling, puddle of emotion by the third thrust. “Pretty girl,” he hums, letting go of one leg to place a hand above your mound, thumb circling your clit until you’re trembling beneath him. “Did you think I would fuck you and kick you out?” He husks, watching your body like he’s a lion and you’re his prey.

Your brain is far from comprehending anything at this point, reduced to a mere mass of nothingness as he continues moving against you, fingers rubbing your clit in all the right ways.

“Well, you were wrong about that, doll,” he huffs, and you’re blessed with the sight of his head lolling back as he loses himself in the tight grip of your pussy, skin glistening with sweat, trailing from behind his ear and over his neck, until you’re watching a pearl roll over his collarbones. “I don’t do that,” he informs you, and he pinches your clit between two fingers, hard enough that you almost miss his next words as you moan. “No, baby, I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he spits, and you whimper at his words. Finally, he lets go of your knees, right as you’re teetering on the edge of an orgasm and you moan out in protest as he ducks down to cage you between his arms again.

“Please,” you beg, voice hoarse as his hips slowly return to their pace from before. He’s still not pulling out as much, keeping his thrusts shallow as he kisses a trail up your neck and over your jaw.

“Gonna fuck you so good, you don’t ever want to leave, pretty,” he says, kisses the corner of your mouth as his hips pick up pace. You wanna cry, feeling so warm and cherished in his arms, his voice telling you how good you’re doing as the coil in your stomach tightens and tightens until you’re begging him for more. “Do you want that?”

“Yes! Yes!” You sob, rolling your hips against his like a madman as you chase your high.

Jungkook hums, smile smushed against your lips as he watches you desperately writhing beneath him. “Yeah? You want that?” You nod, mewls swallowed by his kisses. “Then cum for me, pretty girl.”

You whimper, just as he bucks into you once more, and suddenly you’re falling apart. It starts in your lower back, the ecstasy climbing it’s way through your body until you’re quivering and sobbing in his embrace, muffling your sounds against his shoulder. The muscles in your entire body tighten painfully, until suddenly a wave of contentment washes over you, and you’re too weak to even hold onto him anymore, arms flopping back onto the couch cushions beneath you.

The whole time, Jungkook mutters encouragement against your jaw, keeps his thrusts short but quick, guiding you through your orgasm. When you’re done, he presses an open mouthed kiss beneath your ear, pulling away to look at your boneless frame beneath him.

A few pistons of his hips later, and Jungkook is coming inside of you, cum coating your walls as he hammers his way through his orgasm. He pulls out when he’s done, and you instantly feel your mixed arousal drip out between your thighs.

Woozy from the wine and the two orgasms, you fall asleep soon after.

——

“Good morning,” you murmur, standing at the doorway leading into the kitchen, an area you’d only been able to find after stumbling around the upstairs of the house in confusion.

Jungkook whirls around, wide eyes taking in your appearance. You clutch at the hem of the big t-shirt you’d pulled on, the only article of clothing you saw that was thrown over a chair in a bedroom you didn’t dare snoop around. “Morning,” he exhales, calculating gaze never leaving you as you tiptoe over to him by the counter.

He doesn’t say more, spluttering into action when you peek over his shoulder to see what he’s up to. “What’re you making?” You inquire, and his hands begin fidgeting with the knife.

“Oh, um,” he stutters, and perhaps he’s overly aware of your presence so close beside him, because he suddenly doesn’t remember how he’s supposed to cut an avocado. Cute, you think. “Just, um, toast with avocado spread…”

You hum. After a moment, it seems Jungkook is able to quell his nerves, and he carefully slices the avocado open, spreading its innards across the toast. He hands you the first piece, which you take after masking your own surprise, and soon after he’s turning away from the counter as the two of you eat in silence.

After a few thoughtful munches of bread, you speak. “Thanks for carrying me to bed,” you say, refusing to look at him.

“You’re welcome,” he replies, almost a little too fast and you barely bite down a grin as he rambles on. “Wasn’t gonna leave you on the couch, especially not when you were so tired after… ah, yeah.”

It’s the reserved way he carries himself that gives you the balls to look at him. His ears are flushed adorably red, like when you were at dinner last night talking about his job, and all you wanna do is pinch his cheeks. “Yeah,” you agree, and then add with an air of faux shyness, “you were really cool last night.”

It’s the little devil in you begging to jump out, curious to see how far you can push Jungkook before he shifts into that suave version of himself from last night, and you would feel bad had the corner of his lips not tilted up in amusement.

He chokes out a laugh, mutters a “yeah?” and you don’t stop yourself when you jump into his arms and kiss that avocado spread right off his lips.

——

On Tuesday afternoon, Kim Namjoon is in the midst of delivering another sermon-like speech on the importance of utilizing your student ID when visiting any of the Starbucks within a two mile radius of your school, when you spot a chestnut head of hair from the corner of your eye.

“Sorry, Joon! My ride's here!” You yelp, shoving your notebook into your bag as you stumble over yourself in your haste to leave.

Namjoon blinks. “Huh? I thought you lived on campus?”

You nod, that giddy feeling starting up in your chest as he comes closer to where you and Namjoon have taken up residence on a table in the commons for your weekly meeting, and by the time he reaches the table Namjoon is still in the midst of questioning you.

“Jungkook,” You say, all dreamily and dazed, and you know this because Doyeon caught you with this same exact look on your face after he dropped you off at the dorms Sunday afternoon.

Namjoon startles. “What the f—“

“Hi,” Jungkook beams, leans down to brush a kiss against your cheek, which only serves to make you even more ditzy and dumb in the face of this handsome man. “Oh, hey, hyung.”

“What’re you doi—“

“All set?” Jungkook asks you, completely ignoring whatever his beloved senior was saying in favor of taking your bag off your shoulders. You nod, have to swallow a giggle down when he takes your hand in his. “Bye, hyung.”

“Bye, Joon!” You barely remember to throw over your shoulder, too busy wrapping yourself around Jungkook’s arm to hear Namjoon blabber in shock. 

“Kids these days,” he huffs.

[ part 2 ; hulu & woohoo ]

[power106hq]

𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚃 𝙴𝙿𝙸𝚂𝙾𝙳𝙴 𝚃𝚆𝙾: 𝙲𝙷𝙸𝚃𝙻𝙸𝙽𝚂, 𝙿𝙾𝚆𝙳𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙳𝙾𝙽𝚄𝚃𝚂, 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚀𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚃.

QUEENS COURT is now LIVE! Powered by Power 106 FM in partnership with TSMADISON and KHIA. At 9:30, court will be accepting callers (anons) to send in their own thoughts about the past two weeks. To close the show, KHIA and TS will issue out presents to the celebrities discussed in the recap. Click below to stream the full episode!

TS MADISON: We are live baby! Welcome viewers and callers to Queens Court starring myself and the legendary Ms.Khia Thug Misses! We are going to get right into the gig tonight and waste no time. Now remember that everything said is alleged unless we say otherwise. We don’t need any of these rich folk trynna get us shut down or give us gag orders. Starting off this episode we’re gonna get THE COURT OF TRENDS out of the way. Miss.Khia the people would like to know your thoughts on this whole Chi and Poppy situation. To clarify, we’re talking about both the arrest in Paris as well as the leaked messages this past Friday.

KHIA: Chile this first case is coming in straight from desks over at TMZ. Reportedly Chi and Poopy were arrested and banned from France. These two were at a gay club in Paris, got drunker than the Cooter Brown, and ended up bumping shoulders and coochies with foreign carpetmunchers in jail. Now if I’m being completely honest, I expect this kinda behavior from Poopy muffler pussy having ass but Chi?! No ma’am! Now at first, I didn’t know what to make of this shit other than Poopy finally sinking her shit crumb infected claws into poor ole Chi. But, chile more news done broke that Chi done got outed for being a bulldagger? Chi, I really don’t know what to tell you other than go monkey stomp Poopy ass blind! She did that shit on purpose girl, and we all know why. Don’t trust no skillet bitch!

TS: Wait, what you mean by skillet bitch?

KHIA: Pans, skillets, griddles: that’s what we call the girls who like anything! I’m sending Poopy long titty ass to the electric chair for setting that girl up like that. NEXT CASE!

TS: Moving onto the next trending topic we have Lolita who was admitted into rehab about a week after being photographed snorting what the people are saying is cocaine. Now, Miss.Khia how do we feel about everything going on with Miss.Lolita?

KHIA: I would like to be the first to say this, all y’all favorite artists done played in the sugar before. However, some play harder than others. I guess Lullaby was the MVP this week.

TS: Lullaby?

KHIA: Yes, we call her Lullaby because the only thing the bitch can do for me is put me to sleep with them tired ass songs! Now, I’m not sure why everybody acting shocked and surprised. I personally don’t feel no ways about this dumbass bitch and this loser ass situation. Bitch, keep yo’ nose out them powdered donuts. Y’all should’ve gotten her tired ass some help years ago. This the same bitch that was gettin’ fisted by shady oaks biker gangs in her videos as soon as she turned eighteen. The bitch done always seemed slow and delayed to me so this is really no surprise. Now, the people are saying that this was all a stunt to promote this tired ass album she's releasing soon after they take the ball and chain off them decrepit ass ankles. I personally don’t think that’s the case. However! If that is the case, bitch imma be the first to tell you, we don’t care. We didn’t care when they dragged yo’ ass in the cage, and we not gon��� give a damn when you get out. So what makes you think we got give a damn when you drop that foot dragging ass album? I’m sentencing this cokewhore to an extension on that rehab sentence. We the people don’t want you out of that building until you can put out a hit record! NEXT CASE!

TS: Lord have mercy. Alright y’all moving on from the court of trends, we are going to be handling a case in CIVIL COURT. Now, there’s a new collaboration with Sashabelle and Audriella out. Some of the people lived and some of the people think Audriella should sue Miss.Sasha for ruining the song. Now I’mma give MY opinion: I personally lived for the song. I lived for Miss.Belles and the vocals. Miss. Khia how do you feel about the R.E.M. remix?

KHIA: Yes, well I was truly enjoying the song at first. I thought the two sounded really good together harmonizing n’ shit in the beginning. But... then we get to the end of Audriella’s verse, and we’re all waiting to get what we need from Sashabelle right? Instead we got chitlins! I told y’all to stop putting Mama Odie old ass on y’all songs back when I was on my red couch! I can’t remember one time Stinkabelle actually made the song better. You got Audriella talking ‘bout La Perla and Vicky Secret, and then we got Mama Odie starting her verse off with a hot ass “...Aye ‘dere bwoy.” No no no bitch! That shit was trash bitch I don’t care what y’all say. Keep that old hoe off y’all songs! This bitch can’t find herself on the charts if it ain’t a chopped and slopped verse added to someone else’s shit. TS tell me I’m lyin’.

TS: 

The people are tired of the we shall overcome plantation rituals and now you breathin’ yo’ delayed ass over everyone else songs trynna be that bitch you once were. If y’all really want a hit call the queen and I’ll be happy to help for the right price. I’m gonna sentence Sashabelle’s country ass to another mandatory session of remedial English classes. Next time I hear yo’ ass get on a song with that country bumpkin’ ass shit, I’ma personally send yo’ ass to the electric chair. NEXT CASE!!!

TS: We’ll be finishing off the show today with another segment of JUVENILE COURT aka YOUNG DUMB & FULL OF CUM. On the docket we have reported complaints about a group of artists who attended this passing Saturday’s charity football game and started twerkin’ and gyratin’ in front of the tv. Miss. Khia do we find the defendants guilty?

KHIA: Not even sure why you put this shit on the highlighted docket tonight sista. This type of shit really puzzles me more than anything else. So, basically the Alvin Ailey Foundation was having a charity event a few days ago. Everything went as planned and most importantly they raised a good amount of money for the charity. None of these great things can stop a hoe from doing what she does best: hoe. We the people summon in Audriella, Amilli, Mulatto, and Viva La Vita. Here we have a forty year old bedazzler, a white man’s whore, and two knock kneed mothers. Veronica, bitch you’re forty. I would leave it at that but obviously it hasn’t clicked yet. Stop tryna live in the glory days bitch you is washed up, fucked out, and dried. That music ain’t selling and that ass ain’t movin’, pack it up. Audriella, now I will admit your confidence is somewhat inspiring. Any slave that is willing to go out and publicly be a melon muncher is brave in my book. But for you to let the tribe down twice? It’s flat out disrespectful. I hope that mayo monster knocked you upside yo’ head when you got home. Amilli and Mulatto, please go be mothers. That’s all we ask you nothin’ ass hoes to do. It’s almost like that’s the only time we hear anything from you hoes, its never about y’all doing motherly shit. I’m sure there were kids at the charity event too. Just a shame. I sentence all four of you to house arrest effective immediately. That way y’all can focus on what’s really important. NEXT CASE!!!

TS: Okay that is all the time we have for cases today. The lines are open for callers if the people want to chime in and tell us how they feel about the past two weeks.

[blackmissfrizzle]

Playing Games

Summary: The reader uses her best seduction techniques on her man.

Pairing: black!reader x Florian Munteanu

Warnings: Smut and creepy dudes 

A/N: Based on this video of Florian admiring some food. 

It was all fun and games until you had to pay up. For his next big fight, Flo had sworn off sex and sweets. At first you thought you could manage and be the supportive girlfriend, but your libido and taste buds were saying, “Hell no!”

Florian said you didn’t have to give up sweets with him, but he wouldn’t budge on the no sex. He wanted to pent up all his energy for his opponent who kept talking shit.

Unfortunately, you only lasted a couple of weeks before the sex ban was getting to you and making you petty. First, Flo thought it was cute how you would flaunt and brag about the delicious goodies you were eating. It wasn’t the first time he gave them up and it wouldn’t be the last time either, but now you were starting to get disrespectful.

It all started when you saw his instastory of him at his favorite bakery, admiring all of the baked goods he couldn’t have, when an evil idea popped into your head.

Florian was frustrated. He hasn’t had any sweets, alcohol, hookah, and most importantly sex in weeks. Also, his opponent up’d his trash talking by talking about how Florian couldn’t handle all the ass you had, and he probably wasn’t dicking you down properly. Never had he ever wanted to beat the living shit out of someone before.

Right now, he needed a reprieve. All he wanted to do was shower, eat dinner, cuddle up with his girl and watch a movie. But once he stepped into the kitchen, he knew he wasn’t laying one finger on you.

When he entered the kitchen, he was greeted to the lovely but torturing sight of you eating a cake from his favorite bakery, dancing in your lacy black and red lingerie set.

Tucking his hands inside the pockets of his gym shorts to keep from reaching out to you, he tried his best to keep his face expressionless as you started to moan at the decadence of the dessert, knowing he was watching you intently.

“Like what you see Mr. Munteanu?” You teased before licking excess icing from your lip.

“Not particularly.” Flo smirked, pushing off the doorway, leaving you in the kitchen pouting.

You followed him up the stairs, admiring his broad back and reminiscing the good times when you used to claw at it.

He turned back at you, raised an eyebrow at you following him and then proceeded to your room. Flo dropped his gym bag with a loud thump and immediately began stripping.

Sitting in the middle of the bed, cris crossed applesauce, you enjoyed the show.

“I know what you’re doing Y/N and it’s not gonna work.”

“Whatever do you mean?” You played coy, your voice going a tinge higher, eyelashes fluttering.

Florian leaned on the bed towards you, he captured your lips in a heated kiss, no longer able to resist you. “I’m frustrated too, baby. But you can’t try to seduce me into sex. Now put on some clothes.”

Jumping from the bed, you stood in front of the giant, trying your best to intimidate him. Florian was the first man to make you feel small, which was hard to do. “What’s gonna happen if I don’t?”

Clenching his fists, Florian did his best not to wrap his hand around your throat because he knew that’s what you wanted. So instead, he glared at you like one of his opponents in the ring and brought his face dangerously close to your face. “Keep on, princess and you won’t walk for a week once this match is over.”

Your dumbass should’ve listened, but you didn’t. Knowing you had to no immediate consequences made you act a fool. Your loungewear got skimper and skimper with each day closer to the fight.

Flo almost got your ass after a night out with your girls, that time wasn’t your fault, but you knew he wanted to out that sexual frustration to use.

Arielle wanted to go out because she just broke up with her trifling ass ex, everyone else was stressed from work, and you were just sexually frustrated. So, naturally alcohol and some ass shaking were in need.

You and the girls were twerking and shouting a bunch of ‘ayyy’, ‘yasss’ and ‘get it, bitch’ when you heard, “Damn I bet Florian don’t know what to with that fatty.”

Whipping your head around you saw that it was Bryan ‘Steelo’ Henderson, the other boxer Flo was fighting, creepily leering at your ass. “Boy, go on somewhere and don’t worry about me and my man. Worry about your upcoming loss,” you eyed him up and down before flipping your hair and dismissing him.

“Nah, your man thinks he’s hot shit cuz he was in one movie, but he ain’t laying a hand on me. I’m knocking him out and then I’ll give you some of this daddy dick and show you how a real man fucks.” Steelo gripped your arm to turn you to him and on instinct you threw your drink in his face.

“Nigga, who the fuck you think you talking to like that?” You were heated and was ready to fuck this Godzilla looking motherfucker, but you weren’t trying to catch a case, so you stuck to cussing his ass out.

The constant buzzing of his phone pulled Florian out of his conversation with Masias. He thought it was Y/N’s friends alerting him that she was drunk, acting a fool and that he needed to come get her.

Instead people were ating him in a live Instagram video of you pointing your fingers in Steelo’s face, arguing with him.

Him his crew hurriedly paid for their unfinished dinner and rushed off to the nearby club. During the whole ride couldn’t stop watching the live and its comments.

Damn, it looks like she about to swing on this nigga.

Florian now you really got to beat his ass now.

Shittttt, I don’t blame my man Steelo shooting his shot. Do you see that wagon????

Oh, I’m buying the fight now. Shit’s about to be WWIII!

“You good, bro” Masias asked from the front, noticing Florian’s leg bounce up and down.

“Yeah. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back once I see him. I’m kinda hoping Y/N gets to him first.” Flo admitted, without looking up from his phone.

A small smile formed on his lips as he watched you argue with Steelo. He knew you weren’t too far away from hitting him. You were a recreational boxer with a short temper and quick hands. If Steelo wasn’t careful he would be catching a quick fade.

When the car pulled up to the curb, Flo jumped out of the car before it could completely stop. Entering the club, he saw everyone circle around Y/N and Steelo filming the entire encounter.

The club got quiet after a girl yelled, “Hey, Big Nasty is here! Shit is about to pop off!”

After hearing the girl, you smiled at your man pushing his way through the crowd. Him in his SAMCRO hoodie and gold chain made you forget about Steelo and ready to jump his bones.

Once you were within arm’s reach, he gently shoved you behind and stood toe to toe with Steelo. “That’s the last time you put hands on my girlfriend, do you understand?”

Steelo rolled his shoulders as if he was preparing for a fight and pointed a finger at you. “You need to teach your bitch some manners and if you can’t I’ll volunteer to do so.”

Simultaneously, both of you crooked your heads to the side, trying to figure out if this fucker really said what you thought he said. Florian was quicker on the uptake, but you were right behind him and were able to grab his wrist before his fist went flying towards Steelo’s face.

With the strength of an Amazonian goddess, you pulled Flo away and out of the club. Meanwhile, Steelo kept running his mouth, “Yeah run off like a little bitch! I’ll have your ass knocked out in the first round.”

On the ride back home, Florian said nothing, but he held your hand in his, silently letting you know he wasn’t mad at you.

As soon as you were through the threshold of your home, Flo was on you. He ripped your dress down the middle and didn’t look the least bit sorry.

All he kept murmuring was he needed a little taste as he stripped you down, but his trainer had called to check on him fucking ruining your chance at some type of sex with Flo.

From that night on Flo slept in the guest room to resist temptation and your seduction. He wouldn’t even budge when he heard you loudly moan while touching yourself. All Florian knew was that as soon as the fight was over, he was gonna have his way with you.

Florian’s ban worked it’s magic because Steelo was ko’d within the first minute. That’s what that motherfucker gets for talking all that shit.

Karma was a bitch and just like Steelo, you knew you had to pay up. With the adrenaline from the fight pumping and all his pent-up sexual frustration, Flo was keeping his answer short in the post fight interview. Usually, he was friendly during those, but you could tell he was itching to get to you.

Looking down at your pussy, you patted her and gave her a pep talk. “Okay, girl we’re in it for the long haul. This is what we trained for. Get ready because Daddy isn’t gonna take it easy on us for the next couple of days. Thank God I took a vacation from work!”

“Bitch, I know you not talking to your coochie,” Arielle interrupted you.

“Hell yeah, I am! I’m debating should I be praying that I’ll still have my walls after tonight. Florian is about to wreck my shit! Oh, imma die,” you panicked. Teasing Florian was fun until you remembered it would catch up to you eventually.

Arielle laughed at you and gently pushed your shoulder. “I told you stop playing with that man like that. Now I gotta speak at your funeral and say, ‘Here lies my best friend because the dick was too bomb.’”

You glared at Arielle about to cuss her out when you saw him. Everyone was moving out of his way and exiting the room, because they could sense some shit was about to go down.

Noticing your eyes change from annoyance to fear and anticipation, Arielle turned around to see Florian making his way to you. She turned back at you and smiled before she followed everyone else out. “Good fight, Flo. See ya’ll later or never,” she mumbled the last part.

“Thanks,” he grunted, watching Arielle walk out.

Running to meet your man halfway you jumped into his arms. Even though you knew he was about to ruin you, you still had to congratulate your man. “Baby, I’m so proud of you! All your hard work paid off.” You nuzzled yourself into the crook of his neck and kissed alongside it.

Flo said nothing, he just backed you into the wall and bunched up your dress around your waist. Steadying one hand around your waist, the other went to your dripping core. “No panties, tonight?” Flo ticked his head to the side. “Huh, I guess you knew Daddy needed easy access tonight.”

Pulling his shorts down, his dick sprang free, bobbing up and down against his stomach. Your mouth watered at the sight, its been so long since you saw it and you wanted it in your mouth. Clutching to your boyfriend, you begged him, “Please let me suck it, Daddy.”

Florian moaned at the sound of you begging and he wanted nothing more than to fulfill your needs, but he was under a time constraint. “Not now, baby. When we have more time you can, but right now I’m about to pound my pussy and it has to be quick. That okay with you?”

Shaking your head yes, Florian kissed you and you moaned into his mouth as he savagely thrusted into you. Both of you broke the kiss once he started getting into his rhythm. “Fuck, I miss this pussy. Daddy’s so sorry for neglecting you.”

“Daddy, please,” you pleaded, already wanting to cum, not even ten strokes in.

“Not yet,” Flo gripped your chin to get you to look at him. “I hope you got all your rest earlier, because I’m fucking this pussy all night long and getting you pregnant tonight.”

Florian was digging in your pussy so well; you didn’t care about the wall scratching up your back. And to get back at him for making you feel so good, you tighten your walls around his dick.

“You naughty little girl,” Flo grunted, wrapping his hand around your throat. He started thrusting into wildly until he stilled, shooting his load into you. Before you could cum, he pulled himself out, fixed your dress, and tucked himself into his shorts.

Standing there shell-shocked, you were surprised Flo didn’t take care of you. He chuckled at your expression and pressed his lips to yours for a quick kiss. “What? You thought I let you get off easy? Baby, you should’ve known not to play such dangerous games. Now make sure, you don’t let go a drop of my cum while I take my shower. Then, I’ll fulfill my obligation for my appearance at the club and then I’ll fill my baby for the rest of the night.”

Your boyfriend kissed your forehead before heading to the shower, leaving you there contemplating if all your little games worth it. You smiled to yourself and thought, Hell yeah, I’m about to get the best dick of my life. Game on, Mr. Munteanu.

  Tagging: @honeychicana @crushed-pink-petals @titty-teetee @thickemadame @munteanhore @twistedcharismaaa @thottyantics @songficsbyrissi @writtenbymar @autumnsoidier​ @blackgirlreadsfanfic​ @lovelymari4​ @lotusss-flowerbomb​ @dumbchick​ @chaneajoyyy​

[seijch]

send me selfship questions!!

for @raevaioli because i wrote too much the first time and didnt have space to answer everything else 🧍🏻‍♂️

(there’s a lot of shit under the cut NDJKDKS be Warned)

1. where was your first date?

well, youve already heard about the first date that we realized was indeed A Date with futakuchi, but my first Proper Date with him would have to be somewhere like an arcade where we can have fun but still talk?? personally movie (theater) dates aren’t good first dates bc you Have to stay silent until the movie is over?? what’s the APPEAL...

there’s a shared exhale of relief as the large stuffed pokemon gets dropped by the crane into the pickup zone. “i can’t believe you pulled that off,” i tell him.

“you know, just for that, i’m keeping it.”

“you don’t even like pokemon! what happened to ‘this one’s for you, baby?’” i ask, voice dropping an octave to imitate him.

“i never said that, first of all. second of all,” he continues, grip tightening on the rowlet, “i won it. so it’s mine.”

“you fucking suck.”

(he says all this, yet when he drops me off, he insists i take the rowlet with me and name it after him. i graciously oblige, dubbing it coochie jr.)

when it comes to kuroo, he probably Says it’s some kind of unplanned affair but it ends with him unloading a picnic basket as we watch the sun set bc he’s a SAP... hate that fool 😔

“you’ve got good taste in music,” i tell him as the next song on his playlist begins. he’s definitely planning something, but i don’t say anything as his driving becomes less aimless.

“oh, i know,” he grins. “good enough for you to ask me for recommendations, i’d say.”

i’m crossing my arms before his sentence gets to finish. “listen,” i start, “you can’t tell me it didn’t work. we’re together now, aren’t we?” he doesn’t choose to grace that with a response.

before we know it, kuroo’s parked the car. “we’re here.”

“here? at the park? what are you gonna do, hold my hand while we watch the sunset?” i tease, getting out of the car. he doesn’t respond. “tetsu?”

“you really think you know me, don’t you?” he appears from the other side, picnic basket in hand and a resigned smile on his face. “what do you suggest we do now that my surprise has been torn to shreds, hm?”

“i mean...can we still eat? i’m kinda hungry.” i point to the basket. (i’m clearly deflecting ,, i was Not expecting kuroo the simp to jump out so early and my heart Cannot Take It)

2. who normally plans the dates?

between me and futakuchi i’m going to say none of us! we don’t really go on Dates dates, it’s just Us Hanging Out !! with kuroo, at first it’s him tbh but after we get comfortable everything becomes a date... idk tbh i’m not the type to sweat that kind of thing 🕺🏻 i do like to Go Out and do things w my s/o no matter who they are but a date doesn’t always have to be going out nor does it have to be a Special going out yk??

3. what kind of dates would you two mostly go on? do you have a “date spot?”

i mentioned this in my answer for 24, but w kuchi we have this ritual of going out to eat every friday and after we get together that doesn’t change!!! if we’re feeling extra lazy we might order takeout but we always always spend our friday nights together... it’s def smth we look forward to even Before we start dating (and it’s smth we both wonder Why we anticipate before we get tgt)

in terms of a date spot? we have our favorite places (like the ramen joint i mentioned in 24) but other than that maybe a few other restaurants and that’s kinda it! our other dates are the occasional study date but i cannot study when he’s around,, just looking at his face pisses me off 😃 nah but we can’t focus on school together + we’d get heated over a meaningless argument and get kicked out NDNSJSJ

when we get domestic w each other (like in uni or beyond) kuroo and i have all our dates at the grocery store... idk abt you but the INTIMACY of buying groceries w someone you love is so [clenches fist] yk?? but before and sometimes after that point rlly it’s like Things To See and Things To Do whenever kuroo puts himself in charge of planning it bc he knows we both like to be engaged and have fun!! (i alr said it but our date spot is the grocery store <3)

4. what kind of date do you think the both of you would enjoy the most? why?

that’s a very good question... i mentioned it alr but kuroo and i vibe heavy w things that are engaging and give us things to talk about while we keep busy,, like maybe an amusement park or smth w all the rides (we’re definitely spinning the shit out of the teacups) mostly bc i think he likes being kept on his toes and i do too! i think we’d challenge each other to do better by setting an example for the other to follow just in general,, also ngl places w a lot of ppl are good too so we can peoplewatch,, the two of us are the type to read people with a glance and when we need downtime we’d sit down somewhere and just kinda . 👁👁 yk

“i might barf,” i announce, gait crooked from the dizzying ride.

“no, you won’t,” kuroo replies, allowing me to drape myself over him though he’s not walking straight either. “didn’t you hear? vomitting is banned in this country and thirteen others.”

“a shame. anyway, let’s go on the pirate ship ride next.”

(we sit at the outer edge. it’s not a good time for the folks in the two seats in front of us. we wipe our vomit—mostly my vomit—from the corners of our mouths and apologize profusely.)

when it comes to kuchi, i think he’d like smth where we would end up competing against each other! i mentioned this when i answered question 50, but kenji and i are almost TOO competitive over stupid shit so smth like laser tag (where everyone is like ... why don’t you want to work together aren’t you DATING) would be SO fucking fun

“it’s not too late to surrender,” he simpers, my body sandwiched between his and the wall. my gun’s been knocked out of my hand—that’s gotta be against the fucking rules—and part of me feels like i’m on a real battlefield, as fleeting the thought is. “some battles, you just can’t win.” he punctuates this statement with a sage nod, leaning so close his breath fans against my face. “so, what’ll it be?”

i close the gap, pressing my lips against his and relishing in the strangled groan that comes from the back of his throat as he reciprocates, free hand moving to the nape of my neck. the hand holding the gun drops. that’s all the opening i need.

i let him deepen the kiss, take his bottom lip between my teeth and gently tug as my hands reach for his gun while his brain is still between his legs.

aim. fire.

i’m the last one standing, and the lights turn on around us. “it’s always good to have goals,” i tell him, granting him a consolation peck to the lips. “but i suggest making them more realistic next time.”

9. what do you think your first impression of them would be?

now THIS is a question i knew the answer to going in bc my best friend (honestly she doesn’t get paid enough ,, or at all ,, for all the shit she has to put up w from me NDNSKSK) had to hear all abt my elaborate fantasies regarding these two but!!

my first impression of kuroo is 1) 😳😳 and more importantly, 2) I Want To Know What He’s About... bc he’s not the kind of person i’d get the full picture of w just one look and maybe a few words spoken? he’d pique my interest a LOT (and this is smth he shares w tsukishima, tho i don’t see myself in a long lasting relationship w him like i do w kuroo and kuchi!) and i’d end up worming my way into his life whether he likes it or not until i find out :-)

unlike kuroo i see kenji and go Wow. What An Asshole. ok no i don’t NDNSJSN i probably think he’s cute first THEN go what an asshole and there’s definitely a long period of time where we’re genuinely getting on each other’s nerves before it goes into the romantic relationship-adjacent dynamic you see in my answer to 24!

10. what do you think their first impression of you would be?

kuroo’s definitely curious. i don’t imagine him being unable to see thru me from the start but i prove myself to be Good Conversation so he’s fine (and ends up being more than fine) with me bothering him as much as i do. kenji probably sees me the way i think most people see me at first? very soft and sweet ,, and then he tries to rile me up, tries to test the waters and pretty quickly finds out that right under the nice girl is someone that won’t hesitate to mirror the shit he tries to dish out.

(again) 24. would you confess first or would they? how would it have gone?

i saw you said in the tags you wanted to see the kuroo one so here it is 🤝 i had all my fun writing kenji’s so this one is shorter than that but!!!

NDNSNSN anyway !!! with kuroo it’s kinda 50/50 bc i’m not shy when it comes to my feelings but at the same time i like to have the lowest chances possible for failure when it comes to things like this... but i simp SO heavy for him so lbr it’ll prob be me just bc i literally Cannot pretend that my intentions are platonic anymore and he’s not gonna do it first (later i find out he was trying to see how long he could go before one of us mentioned the elephant in the room)

(5:38 PM) me: anyway for the weekly song rec

(5:38 PM) me: khalid ft. john mayer - outta my head

(5:39 PM) me: specifically 1:16-1:25 :-)

the messages have sent before i can think twice or even consult anyone about it. there’s a beat of silence. then two. then three. i throw my phone down onto the bed as it bounces off the mattress and onto the carpet.

what the fuck!!!!!! bitch why did you do that!!!!!!!

there’s no taking it back now. he reads it ten minutes after it sends (not like anyone’s checking, that would be preposterous). the picture i took of him mid-sneeze two months ago lights up the screen, a facetime call from shithead 👺 bringing me to yet another crossroads. do i answer it and face the music (literally), or do i pretend to have been busy and act as though i didn’t just confess to one of my best friends through text and with music, of all things?

i pick up the call.

“i liked the song,” he says as soon as the call opens, “though i can’t help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning to it.”

“and if i told you there was?”

“well,” he replies, sounding a little out of breath (where is he?), “i’d tell you to open your door because i’m outside.”

true enough, when i race downstairs and open the door, he’s waiting for me. “and if i told you that was my way of asking you to be my boyfriend?”

“well, i think i’d want to ask if i could kiss you. assuming, of course, it was alright to do something like that so soon-��

he doesn’t finish his sentence. his lips are a little bit chapped, but pleasant nonetheless, and i tuck the newfound fact away in my file of things i know about kuroo tetsurou.

(for reference, the song lyrics for the part i mention are can you feel the tension / you’ve got my attention / i know we’re just friends but / i’d rather be together instead)

[remnants]

reasons i would like to quit my job even though i can't because i am a college student and supporting 2 cats:

-a lady reached down her pants to scratch her coochie (i mean bare hand to bare coochie no layers in between) before handing me her money

-another lady told me i don't understand how to interact with humans because i wouldn't leave the register to unlock something for her. i am a cashier, i literally am not allowed to leave the register unattended. also we were in the middle of being robbed.

-old lady yelled at me because the pharmacy was closed and i wouldn't break the law by hopping the counter to go get her prescription.

-lady said i didn't have personality because i didn't laugh at her joke (it wasn't funny. they never are.) she then got hired at my store, became a shift lead, and proceeded to become one of the most passive aggressive people ive ever worked with

-another lady (as you may have gathered women hate me </3) got mad at me because we only had paper bags. im sorry for not being in the room that day the city decided to ban plastic bags. i should've fought harder for your rights.

-this dude got snippy with me because i didn't know what or where lice treatment was. sorry for never having had lice you itchy bitch i hope you get them again.

-this other dude called me a dumb rat because i didn't know what a oreo cakester was. he wanted to steal them. he asked where they were and when i said i didn't know he proceeded to go to exactly where they were, pick up a couple boxes and walk out of the store. (IF YOU KNEW WHERE THEY WERE WHY DID YOU ASK.)

-this one dude came in the store and and came behind the counter to steal cigarettes and the lady i was ringing up just looked at me. im not saying be a hero but she could've went to go get someone instead of waiting for me to scan her milk.

-some guy left his lit cigarette on the counter. just fuck fire safety ig.

-people do not put their money in my hand they toss it on the counter and wait for me to pick it up. one of these days someone is gonna get pelted with change. HAND YOUR CASHIERS YOUR MONEY.

-someone called the cops on a shoplifter and didn't tell me so the cop came in and then got mad at me because i didn't know what was going on. what the fuck do i look like to you? detective dickhead? you're the one on the case not me.

-this lady came in today and tried to talked to me about tyre nichols and what happened and it was all very weird and ended with her telling me that she felt sorry for me because i was black. like ok sister sandy please get the fuck away from me 💖