#so hopefully it'll be worth the nearly year long wait

[not-a-space-alien]

K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 4

Part four of the fourth crossover with @whumpsday!

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

Warnings for this chapter: Burns, “it” as a dehumanizing pronoun, mentions of/fear of sexual assault, brief talk about eating disorders 

In this chapter: The joy of Jim's homecoming is soured by an incident with vampire hunters that suddenly reverses the roles between Jim and Valen.

***

The movie-watching is oddly serene after years of constant fear and torment. Jim cozies up with Valen while they watch, finishing his apple. He's quiet at first, just like with Kane, but slowly starts to open up as it goes on and he remains safe.

Valen reciprocates the cozying up, wrapping the both of them in a blanket on the couch. Valen has never been happier to have his own little haven, with its soft lights and quiet lack of anyone to bother him. He's delighted to hear Jim start talking more and more, acting like a person and not a neurotic prey animal.

When the time to leave gets nearer, Valen asks if Jim wants to stop at the store again for more food, knowing humans need to eat so frequently.

"Nah, I think I'm good," Jim declines with a nervous laugh. He is pretty famished, having only had one meal in three days, but he can wait. Last time was harrowing enough. Next time he eats, it’ll be in his own kitchen at home. "Maybe I could call my sister to meet us, especially since it's during the day and it'll be safe for her? Then I won't have to trek."

"Of course, that's a splendid idea. Tell her to meet us somewhere, and you'll have a nice smooth journey back. I'd love to meet her, as well."

Jim calls, letting Liz know they're leaving and she can meet them near the signs loudly proclaiming the dangers of crossing the border.

“Tell him I said thank you for saving my brother,” Liz says on the other end. There’s no need– Valen’s hearing is good enough to hear it from where he sits.

"I'm just happy I was able to help do a good deed,” Valen responds. “Hopefully the karma will come back around to me." Valen has always struggled with feeling like a monster, so that feeling being alleviated is enough of a reward on its own, to know he wasn’t universally hated among innocent humans.

They won’t be out for so long, but Valen gives Jim a water bottle anyway, just in case, before wrapping himself up thoroughly for going outside.

The streets and sidewalks are once again empty, cleared in the face of the impending sunrise. Valen hands Jim the car keys in the rising light. "Here, you should drive. In fact, if you wanted to keep this wretched contraption, that would be fine with me. I hardly ever use it, and it's more trouble than it's worth."

Jim grins. "Seriously? Oh man. You are the best. Free car, that rules. Liz probably started using mine when she learned to drive, so that's perfect, now we'll both have one." His smile wavers at the thought that he missed Liz learning how to drive. "Well, buckle up, beaks."

He drives out to the border with little issue, the streets deserted. What had caused him so much grief, years of wanting, nearly dying in his desperate attempt to make it home… it’s like nothing, now. Jim almost feels like he’ll wake up any second, the whole thing a too-pleasant dream.

Liz is there–Liz, in the flesh, so much more grown-up than when he last saw her–with three other people. They all wear vampire hunter’s gear: including Liz, to Jim's surprise. The blue-haired hunter by her side looks the calmest of them all, while the two men look a bit on-edge.

Liz runs forward, and Jim gets out of the car to embrace her.

"Oh my god, Jim!" she cries.

Valen watches Jim hug his sister with a smile on his face. None of the humans can see it, of course, because he's wrapped up head to toe, they can barely see his eyes. He squints against the light to see who all is here. There are four humans, which is more than he expected. It makes him a little nervous, especially since they all appear to be vampire hunters. But Jim's sister seems kind, so he doesn't worry overmuch.

He opens the passenger's side door and gets out of the car, leaning on it to watch Jim and Liz crying with each other. He glances nervously at the sign demarcating human territory from vampire territory, knowing full well if he crosses it, he's put a target on his back.

"Hey, why's it getting out of the car?!" one of the hunters snaps, hand itching toward his weapons.

Jim interrupts his tearful reunion, pulling away from Liz. "Don't fucking call him that! And obviously he has to get out of the car, what's he gonna do, get home from the passenger seat?"

He realizes too late: he's being defiant, again. Kane would beat him to a pulp for this. This is why he’s supposed to be silent, so he doesn’t run his stupid mouth. He immediately shrinks back, eyes cast down, trembling. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

"Cool it, man."  The blue-haired hunter elbows their companion.

Valen gets nervous. "I intend to come no closer, sir. We can talk like civilized individuals, I assure you." He holds his hands up deferentially. 

The words go right over the head of the hunter, who can only focus on Valen’s hands moving and gets spooked. He is clearly a novice hunter, his hands shaky and unpracticed as he draws his pistol and shoots at Valen.

The shot just barely misses Valen, but it does graze his head. It rips his mask from his face, taking most of his hood with it as well, exposing him to a faceful of direct sunlight.

He erupts into an earth-shattering screech at the indescribable pain, sharp and animalistic. The windows of the car wobble with the sound, and the one closest to him shatters and spills glass shards everywhere. He would have never gone outside during the day if he'd known he was risking this. He's instantly blinded by the white-hot light, like two searing branding irons stabbed directly through his eye sockets straight into his brain, and he curls his arms above his head and drops down, fumbling for the shadow of the car to save himself.

"Fuck!" Jim dives for Valen, shielding him with his body. He grabs Valen's mask off the ground and clumsily shoves it back on his face, then strips his own shirt and throws that on top for good measure, ensuring that Valen is fully covered.

"What's wrong with you?!" Liz screams. "He saved Jim! You were just supposed to come ‘cause it's the border!"

"I'm sorry! Shit!"

"Get him out of here," the blue-haired hunter says.

"Got it," the other man agrees. Valen can make out a car driving off.

"Valen? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Jim sounds like he's crying. "I'm sorry, I never meant for you to get hurt."

"Jim," Valen weeps, groping forward. He opens his eyes, but the topmost layer of skin on them has been burned, and they're crusty and sightless. "Jim, am–is he–what's going on?"

Jim holds him. "He's gone. He knocked your mask off, he's an idiot. You're safe now. No one here's gonna hurt you. I'm sorry. You're–you're gonna heal, right?"

"I–Yes, I should–I've never felt..." It still fucking hurts, so so bad, even though the sun is gone. He will heal, right? He's never gotten a sunburn before, and he knows they theoretically heal, but damn is the lingering pain overwhelming, far more than any other injury he's sustained. "Jim, please don't leave me here, I can't see, please don't leave me alone out here."

"I'd never. Don't worry, I've got you. I've got you. You wanna come back to my place to heal up? Let's get you back in the car, huh? We'll get some burn cream on you, and you can rest up back home." Jim helps him back into the passenger seat. "Liz, we've got burn cream, right?"

"Yeah, I, I think so. Yeah." Liz is shaken. "You can follow us? That wasn't supposed to happen. I told them Valen was on our side."

"I'll follow you," Jim agrees. He pats Valen on the shoulder. "We're gonna take care of you. Like you took care of me."

"Thank you," Valen sobs. He's utterly shaken by how thoroughly and quickly the sun was able to completely destroy his confidence. He feels like a kid again, lost and scared and helpless. He'd do anything to avoid feeling the sun again. "I wasn't trying to attack, I swear." He's still shaking a little as he settles into the passenger's seat, and he folds himself down, below the window.

Jim will help me. I helped him, he'll help me back. His sister is a hunter, but she's nice, the other hunter is nice, they know I'm not trying to attack. And I can use persuasion on them if I need to. Oh god, he definitely couldn't use persuasion over a group of three humans at once, though, and his superior speed and strength would be useless if he couldn't see to know how to direct them. This must have been how Jim felt, at the mercy of someone he just had to trust would help him, unsure of if he should make a run for it and take his chances. The idea of going deeper into human territory, further into the domain of the vampire hunters, like this was terrifying.

"We know, buddy." Jim says, starting the car up again and following Liz's- well, his car. "Fuck, this is a mess. You're gonna be okay. Kane and that asshole we ran into last night got into it once a few years back, and Kane was all better by the next night. Um, I dunno if you might take a little longer, 'cause you looked pretty bad there. But I'm sure it'll still be fast."

Valen starts to calm down a little at Jim's reassuring words, just like Jim did at Valen's. He cautiously unscrunches himself, sitting upright in the seat. "Yes. Yes, thank you. Um, are–we're going into–into human territory, are you quite sure your neighbors won't–won't take notice and, and call more hunters?" He is far more afraid of vampire hunters than he'd thought he'd be–they'd always been a distant bogeyman for him, and one of them had just ruined his week with a single pull of a trigger.

"No one can tell you're a vampire when you're all covered up like that. And if anyone tries to fuck with you, they'll have to go through me. And Liz, and probably her friend. Plus, it... it seems like Liz is a hunter." Jim is not a fan of this information, but he's glad it at least makes things a little safer for Valen. "So she'd be the one who's called anyway. I won't let anyone get at you. Promise."

Valen sobs when Jim says Liz is a hunter, not finding it as comforting as Jim does. "Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Jim. Are we going to your house?"

"Yep, that's where we're going. Home. Holy shit, I'm going home." It still doesn't feel real. "It's gonna be okay. And, look, you can feed on me when you get hungry, 'cause I know it'll take a bit for your face to heal right. I'm used to it. Happy to do it when it's for you. I'm sorry it sucks right now. But I won't let anything else happen to you, swear to god. I've got your back."

Oh no. Jim expects Valen to feed on him. Valen has never fed from a human before, he doesn't want to, he's terrified of opening that door. Feeding straight from a human is supposed to be one of the highest luxuries a vampire can have. What if he doesn't want to stop feeding that way? What if he gets addicted and can't go back to blood packs? He doesn't trust himself. He can't. He goes spiraling back into the times where he went days without feeding, crushed under the weight of his depression and guilt and self-loathing. He can't go back to that.

Valen swallows. Maybe they can just avoid that for now. Maybe Valen will get better before he needs to feed, and he can just go back home and sidestep the whole thing.

"Thank you, Jim." He feels safe around Jim in a way he hadn't before with other men. Is it because he's a human, and Valen could overpower him? Then why does he still have this warm feeling when he's helpless and dependent on him? "And I'm glad you get to go home. I'm very happy for you. It's still a wonderful day overall.”

"Thank you. You gave me my life back. I'm sorry it turned out shit for you. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess." Seeing Valen so hurt and scared, because he was trying to help him, no less, breaks Jim's heart.

They arrive at Liz's place after a little while, Jim chattering soothingly to Valen the entire time.

"Alright, we're here. I'll lead you inside." He holds Valen's hand, leading him into the house, where Liz and her hunting partner wait.

Liz tosses Jim a container of burn cream while Laken, quickly introducing themself, goes around closing all the blinds. Liz smiles, despite the situation. "We did have some. And hey... welcome home."

"Thanks. Here, come, sit." Jim leads Valen over to sit on the couch. "You can take that stuff off. You're in the clear."

Valen sits on the couch and gropes at his head to remove the coverings Jim had tossed over him. He also removes his outermost cloak and his gloves. Despite the relatively short contact time, Valen's whole face is red and blistering, and the thin, delicate skin on top of his ears has peeled away to reveal bleeding rawness. His eyes have a gray, opaque layer over them.

"I'm glad to meet the two of you and be in your home, despite the rough start," Valen says. "Thank you for having me. I'm glad to see Jim finally reach safety after his ordeal."

"Thank you for bringing him home. Thank you,” Liz says emphatically. "Sorry the new guy’s a fucking dumbass. I'm gonna kick his ass."

"You're very welcome. I couldn't just leave him there, knowing what fate was in store for him. And I suppose your colleague had good reason to be wary, knowing what my kind is capable of. Although, I obviously do wish he'd had more restraint." 

"Oh please, he didn't have shit." Liz says. "It's daytime, you were bringing Jim home, he was being an asshole."

"I'm gonna put burn cream on you, okay?" Jim says gently. "It okay if I touch? Kinda gonna have to."

Valen reaches out and finds Jim's hands. "Yes, you are welcome to touch me, Jim, I don't mind it at all. Thank you."

"Alright, just hold still." Jim starts slathering burn cream over Valen's face and dabbing it on his ears. He tries his best to be gentle, but touching the burns is bound to hurt at least a little, even if the cream is soothing.

Valen clenches his teeth and lets out an occasional hiss of pain, but when Jim is rubbing the cream on the less painful parts of his body, he leans into the touch, closing his eyes and savoring the feeling. He hadn't realized how touch-starved he'd become, despite it being only a few months since his separation from Priscus, although Priscus had also been his main source of touch before that. He was very much enjoying the touches that didn't have the subtle warning written under them, the hint that later the touching would lead to more things whether he wanted them or not, a reminder that things were expected of him. It felt nice.

When it seems like Jim is done, he pulls away. "Thank you very much. It's already starting to feel a bit better."

"There you go. You're doing awesome." Jim gives him a little side hug and yawns, still on a nocturnal schedule. "I'm gonna grab something to eat from the kitchen and then probably hit the sack. Are you getting tired, too? If you can get to sleep, you'll probably heal a lot while you're out."

Valen jumps at the opportunity. "Yes, please, that sounds wonderful." He secretly hopes that Jim will sleep in the same bed as him. He feels like it would be the first time he'd sleep in a bed with a man and not have to be on guard to fend off unwanted advances. Jim is so very sweet and considerate, and seems like he would take no for an answer if it came down to it, which makes Valen not want to say no. Maybe there will (in)conveniently only be one space where they can sleep, and Jim will apologetically offer to sleep elsewhere to let Valen have it, and Valen will be able to coyly offer to share it. That will give him what he wants: Being able to sleep in the same bed as Jim without looking too eager and inviting, to have plausible deniability about wanting it later if he changes his mind and wants away from Jim, and to make Jim feel just a little bit like he is imposing and therefore needs to be extra polite and considerate to make up for it.

He takes a minute to step back from the insane mental gymnastics he'd just done. Living with Priscus had really done a number on him. Maybe he should just sleep on the couch.

"Er, I've been using Mom and Dad's room for storage,” Liz says. “Your room's all set, though. I kinda didn't touch it. Kept hoping you'd come home. And I was right, you did, so there!" Liz proclaims defensively, like someone's going to argue with her about it. "Even cleaned it yesterday 'cause I knew you were coming home. But yeah, the other bed is covered in boxes. I can go clear it, but it'll take a bit."

"You can use my bed, Valen." Jim says. "Lemme lead you up there. Your eyes are still all funky." He takes Valen's hand.

Valen blushes. "Thank you."

He lets himself be led upstairs, into the bedroom, he presumes. "How large is your bed? Where will you sleep?"

"It's a full. I guess I'll help Liz clear off the other bed, or take the couch if that turns out to be too much of a hassle? Unless… you wanna double up." Jim can’t deny Valen’s subtle hint, asking about the bed’s size, and being with Valen makes him feel safe. Like if Kane showed up to take him away, he would be protected.

"Only if you want to," Valen says shyly. "I wouldn't mind. I don't snore." He sits down on the edge of the bed and starts fumbling to take his shoes off.

"Cool,” Jim says, with a huge smile Valen can’t see. He helps Valen take his shoes off. "Here, you can borrow some pajamas,” he adds, pressing the first ones he sees in the closet into Valen’s hands. “I'll come back up and join you after I've eaten something."

He quickly changes into some himself, since he's currently shirtless and the clothes Valen loaned him are too small anyway. "I'll be back up soon. Yell if you need anything."

"Thank you. Enjoy your meal." Valen takes the time to undress himself, stripping off his many, many layers, suddenly realizing how sweaty he is under it all. He figures a bathroom might be nearby, trailing his hand along the hallway wall and getting lucky when it’s the first doorway he blindly stumbles across. He takes the time to find the faucet and splash some water on himself, drying his skin on whatever towel is nearby. He doesn't dare to clean up more than that for fear of accidentally getting himself into an embarrassing situation he can't get himself out of without calling for help.

He strips off his binder next, slipping into the pajamas. He doesn't know what pattern is on them, but they feel soft and warm. He sighs contentedly, slipping into the bed and fumbling to pull the blanket up over himself. When he finally settles in, he feels very cozy and safe despite the burns, and closes his eyes, already starting to fall asleep.

Jim comes back up about twenty minutes later, trying not to disturb Valen as he slides into bed next to him. "Thank you," he murmurs, finally feeling safe for the first time in five long years.

Valen sleepily rolls over. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could make a difference for someone in this wretched world. Sleep well. Tomorrow you will wake up for the first time safe in your own home among people who care about you."

The words touch Jim to his core. That's one of the kindest things anyone's ever said to him. "I care about you, too," he says softly, snuggling up to Valen in the small bed.

Valen curls up against Jim. It's very comfortable, and he wants this kind of touch so badly, but something is bothering him, and he won't be at ease until he broaches the subject. Despite his earlier thoughts, he's starting to get concerned about waking up to Jim trying to have sex with him. Unlike when Priscus did it, Valen is strong enough to just throw Jim off, but the thought is the only thing ruining the otherwise perfect atmosphere. If he could just clear that, he'd have the nicest night he's had in decades, he's sure.

"Um," he says, voice cracking with nervousness despite his attempts to control it. "To, to be clear, I-I'm very comfortable right now, b-but I'm, I'm not interested in having sex tonight."

The nervousness in Valen's voice gives Jim pause. He recalls the way Valen cried when his husband called, the way he called him sir so miserably. "Hey. You're safe, okay? I'd never do anything like that. You're alright, Valen."

Valen perks up, immediately more at ease. "Thank you, Jim. I know it will be a wonderful night. Sleep soundly. You've no need to worry anymore, either. You're safe, too."

Jim smiles, feeling warm. "Wonderful day, you mean, but I know you're on mushroom time and you can't see shit. You sleep good, too."

Oh this is wonderful. Jim is a human, and Jim feels safe around him, and that must mean he’s not a bad person. Valen feels safe, at ease, and validated in a way he never has before. Jim feels safe and protected in a way he never has before.

They both fall asleep and have the best rest in years, for either of them.

***

@barebarb

@cc1010foxy

@emcscared-whumps

@gt-daboss

@hurtpluscomfort

@jakersdaboss

@lolrpop

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@pigeonwhumps

@secretwhumplair

@some-thrilling-heroics

@t0rture-me

@thecyrulik

@thejinglingcourtjester

@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff

@whuarri

@whump-cravings

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@whumpycries

@wolfeyedwitch

@whump-addict

@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

[raayllum]

What are your biggest predictions for season 5 and onwards? Plus, I love your page and have been a follower from the start!

Aww thank you so much!! It has been a very long, enjoyable journey together then! (5 years and counting <3) I always love seeing you in my notes and ask box, so thank you so much for sending this in!

See what makes TDP tricky is that they love to store things in earlier seasons that may come back like, the next season, or may only come back literally seasons later, and it's hard to tell when that'll happen. Right now I'm hoping that we can some development on the possession plot line and Aaravos' release in S5, and while I do think it's more likely Aaravos will get out in S5 still, I could see the merit in pushing that and the possession stuff into S6 for thematic stuff (destiny and stars and all that).

So I'll break it down into S5 specific plot lines / stuff maybe, versus just general S5-S6 predictions in general? AKA things that have leeway for mileage or impact to carry over for later

S5:

S5 specific episode outline estimates

Janai losing her kingdom either to her brother or to dark forces (monsters, Aaravos, etc). Mostly because of Karim's short story, Kim'Dael entering in S5 and presumably being interwoven

Terry having some doubts and Claudia becoming more desperate

More answers on where and what was happening to Rayla while she was gone, although not everything (like reserving her backstory with Stella for book 6 stars, maybe)

Viren and Claudia splintering off, with Viren and Soren beginning to not like, reconcile, but they'll be working together to try and bring Claudia home

Rayla and Callum patching things up further, with Rayla hopefully making some head way on her self worth / leaving vs staying arc (but I could see that being in S6 too, especially if her parents are getting out this season)

Soren continuing to step into a primary protector position for Ezran

Rayllum getting to have some more big talks

Zym and/or Callum destroying the pirate ship with lightning, as depicted in the 2nd promo picture

Rayla looking into how to free her fam from the coins (and possibly doing so), even if I think it'll take a big sacrifice of some kind (either needing Viren's staff and a dark magic spell, or something else we haven't quite seen before)

Aaravos gets out for his hot girl summer

Theme wise: more light-dark, drowning-water-shame motif(s), Rayla becoming more like Runaan (derogatory) and Claudia and Callum becoming more like Viren (happily & derogatory), Viren continues to parallel Callum and Soren (affectionate)

S5 / S6

Callum's being re-possessed for a second / final time and Rayla breaking him free of it

Callum connecting to the moon arcanum and/or essence of magic

Ezran tying to rally the other human kingdoms to help fight against Aaravos, either as a preventative measure before he's out, or once he is released, bringing in the new rulers of the Pentarchy as well as old ones like Ahling and Aanya

We Finally learn what the freaking cube is used for (and CHET accordingly in some manner, whether it's to free Aaravos or some kind of power-up tradeoff or whatever) so my suffering can end

Proper Leola lore drop / Aaravos (+ Orphan Queen?) backstory

Callum playing into Aaravos' hands regardless of what he does to try and stop it (bc we love a Greek Tragedy king)

Most of the other specific S5 predictions I have (Rayllum going on a solo trip to the Sunfire elves + Callum doing startouch research; Claudia's hair going nearly full white; crimson orchids relating to Janai and Amaya) are either things that have already confirmed or we'll simply just have to flat out wait and see.

Like S5 could do a lot of interesting things if certain stuff is shuffled, i.e. moon fam getting out but not quite Aaravos could work (esp given Runaan's lotus is underwater, etc) leaving more stuff for S6 - or they could all get out, and it'd still work; if the possession plot line doesn't come back in S5 (or at least not to the point of being resolved, it could easily be a cliffhanger type of thing) and we learn Rayla did kill someone during the timeskip (hence her change in attitude) or she kills someone now, thus setting up that she could very well take Callum up on his request in S6? I think it'd all really, really work. Just depends on how much setup and pay off and dread / dramatic irony they wanna do with things before we get resolutions or to next stages, the ordering of stuff, etc.

Either way it's going to be an absolutely wild ride and I cannot wait to cry

[riosnecktattoo]

Any news on when we might get the final chapter of Cherry Trees (or a snippet?🤗) The ending had me heartbroken!

Aww sorry for the heartbreak! ❤️

I don't know when I'll be posting the final chapter I'm afraid cause it's still in rough early stages, and I don't have a snippet for Part 5 I'm happy sharing yet 😩

As it's the final chapter of something I've been working on for nearly a year now (omg) I really want to take my time with it, make sure I'm happy and did everything I wanted and that I don't rush myself to update which I found myself doing for the previous parts.

Part 4 was obviously The Biggen™ and it really took it out of me so I took a nice long break from writing. Then life just got in the way of all my hobbies tbh. I had a bereavement that I'm still struggling with and then every single weekend of February I have had birthdays or Hen-Do's or friends wedding things and it's been crazy hectic.

I just haven't had the time or the energy to write. (I've also had a bad chest infection for nearly three weeks on top of it all and I still don't feel 100%)

Basically I'm a big mess✌️

BUT

This weekend will be my first free weekend since mid January and I'm hoping I can just sit down and write. My main block with part 5 is the sequence of events. I have all the general moments and scenes but I'm still untangling how they all fit together and build to the ending.

I promise I daydream about it all the time and I'm always scribbling away but it's just messy chunks of writing right now that I need to make sense of and it's going to take some time

Hopefully it'll be worth the wait 💜

I appreciate the enthusiasm so much and I promise that happy ending is coming! 🥰

[kindahoping4forever]

Stage!Ash: The Lost Fics, A Special Event Coming This Weekend

Encore, one of my fav fics I've written, was published one year ago today! What was supposed to be a quick little PWP to celebrate Ashton's return to the stage somehow became a multi-part series and one of the sweetest romances I've written to date. One of my favorite things about the series was that it was interwoven with the IRL timeline, so we got to see that couple inserted into real life situations we'd just witnessed. I had lots more planned for them but unfortunately my health woes got the best of me and I took an unofficial sabbatical from writing, leaving 2 new installments of the series unfinished.

Until now! To be completely honest, I'm still struggling healthwise and writing is very much a challenge but I've been chipping away at these fics little by little all year, determined to see them through. So! This weekend, I hope you'll join me in throwing back to late 2021 for some Stage!Ash offstage holiday adventures. 😌

Wild Horses Couldn't Drag Me Away - NEW Friday, 2 September

Ashton's cowboy Halloween costume lassos the two of you into exploring a new side to your relationship.

You Feel Like A Holiday - NEW Saturday, 3 September

Every day with Ashton feels like a gift but even more so when you spend Christmas together at his cabin in the mountains.

In case you need a refresher course, the Encore Series Masterlist can be found here

@hoodharlow @mashtonasfuck @pxrxmoore @bxcketbarnes @talkfastromance4 @camelliastreet @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @himbohood @maggiesupertramp @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @calumrose @irwindoll @in-superbloom @2fangirl4u @highstwildflower @bport76 @chamaleonsoul

[bookwyrminspiration]

I have forgotten every ask that I have ever submitted so it’s fine!! I was get a pleasant surprise when I see that you’ve answered one of my asks and im just sitting there like “Oh yes!! That was me!!”, also just getting mentioned in posts by you that don’t related to asks by me is also a present surprise! Like yes!! I exist!!

Also do go on about dreams, that’s always a fun topic. They’re just your brain’s way of processing information in a timely manner, and (I’m assuming) because of the sheer amount of stuff that goes on in a day, it takes several nights of dreams to process. Like, whenever I remember a dream, the stuff in it is already days (or even weeks) old!!

Either way, it is fun to connect each part of the dream to a thing that’s happened/that you saw.

-Heathen

okay cool because I frequently find that I forget to answer a few of your asks for a while so glad it's not a problem! I try to avoid answering asks from just one person multiple times in a row so that I can divide my attention amongst other people who've sent them, but then that sometimes means a few asks from one person get pushed back for a while. Hopefully that's something that will also be improved once I get through more of my asks!! I actually don't know where I'm at in terms of that hang on I wanna check--okay, so once I answer this ask my oldest (not counting art requests) will be from December 13th! That's not bad. Still a lot further back then i'd like it to be but that's better than it has been in the past. Though there is one older than that that I keep forgetting because it's in my drafts, but I have no clue how long it's been there

also i don't remember when I've mentioned you in other posts that you haven't sent but! it does sound like something I would do from time to time! I mean, I've mentioned you irl to like...2 (?) people. At least one. So you exist!! You exist in my life even when I'm not answering your asks!

as for dreams I have...absolutely no memory of like 97% of them. And I only dream every few months (every time I say that people tell me "oh but you are dreaming you just don't remember it" so I am accounting for that! sure whatever I don't remember is happening but I mean that for me sleep is just a skip in time! no mental things!) and sometimes they? repeat? it's so strange. Like it'll be the same dream i had 2 years ago except there are slight differences based on things I experienced more recently only I can't tell if they're actually differences and the dream changed or if it was always like that and I'm just relating it to current things. I do have a few of them written down but those are the older ones (2019-2020) because I fell out of the habit. Your ask reminded me of them so I went to read a few but stopped when I got to "but he says I can't come on the ship because I lost my space shoe." and I just. I don't know what to do with that. Wait I found another one. "The guy I was fighting[...]got hit by a bus and immediately decapitated. We tried to bring him to a hospital but he was decapitated so.

I don't know what it's like to dream consistently but if it's anything like what my dreams are like it's probably very entertaining.

the only dream I have that I actually remember distinctly without having to write it down is this nightmare I had when I was four and it has somehow stuck with me literally my entire life. I can visualize it. I remember nearly everything about it. This was over a decade ago and I only had the dream once and I was literally four but hey. My brain decided it was a core memory and just stuck it in my head permanently.

and it is! or sometimes there's the opposite thing where you have to connect a thing you're doing irl with something in a dream and figure out which one it is. I know I personally will sometimes get like a fragment of a dream and it's like...2 seconds worth of something that could actually happen irl like loosing an item or putting something somewhere or needing to clean something and then my brain saves it as an actual memory and not a dream memory and then it'll throw me off whenever something relevant happens irl.

Like if I had a few seconds of a dream where I lost a pencil and then sometime later in the day I'm like "ah I have to find that pencil I lost" only to get confused when the pencil...isn't lost. That very mundane few seconds were just a dream and not a memory. Sometimes its bigger than that and really throws me for a loop for a few seconds but it's still an interesting glimpse into the inner workings of the brain.

Dreams are fascinating and I wish I could analyze them more to figure out ways it connects to processing things in the brain! but for now I shall just enjoy them the rare times I have them.