#so honestly if i was a player i would let them ping pong me across the league without a care in the world

[national-hockey-gay]

nolpat won't get his name on the cup but he most likely will get a stanley cup ring — the entire organization does iirc!

i think if i was a hockey player and i got a stanley cup ring but not my name actually on the cup i would simply cede my existence to the void

[spicykoreantatertots]

Camp Blue Side - Part Three

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Summer Camp AU, Non Idol AU

Rating: 18+ (eventual smut)

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: Swearing, angst, (more in future parts)

Summary: Last summer, sparks flew between you and Hoseok. He had an unforgettable smile, and you were putty in his hands. By the end of the summer, promises were made and you shared your phone number. But he never called. This summer, you're back at camp with a vengeance. Ghosted or not, you're ready for some friendly competition. He may be a Camp Blue Side veteran, but you won't back down.

Notes: This fic has been updated and is now part of the Summer of Love Collab! Please join us as we finish summer strong with seven summer themed fics!

Summer of Love Masterlist

Banner: @sunshinejunghoseokie​

Camp Blue Side - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

~~~~~~~

How did it come to this?

You are walking slowly to the camp office where you will meet with Hoseok and the LCT. The two of you will likely be reprimanded, but could she fire you? Would she fire you halfway through camp? She’s had a stick up her ass all summer, but would she actually go as far to remove you from Team Two?

This isn’t who you are, the yelling and screaming. But the competition, wanting to crush Hoseok, has affected you too much. It’s affecting the kids too, and it honestly makes you sick. As you drag your feet to the meeting, the events of the past three weeks unfold clearly in your mind.

~~~~~~~

Kick Ball

“Who wants to beat Team One?!” You shout to a crowd of campers, and they cheer in response. You’ve got a great group of campers this year. It’s still day one, so everyone is still pumped and not too tired to give it their all.

Jessica, an athletic 13 year old, is up to pitch the kickball to Team One’s first kicker. The anticipation builds as she finds her grip on the rubber ball. Hoseok is muttering something to his kicker, some kind of pep talk as he walks up to the plate.

“Great pitch!” Mack yells as Jessica throws the ball down to home plate. Hoseok’s kicker strikes himself out and you’ve never been so stoked to see a child fail to kick a ball. You wouldn’t let them see it, but you’re beaming inside.

“Yes! Great job Jessica!” You cheer from the sidelines.

“That’s alright Braden, you’ll get it next time buddy!” Hoseok comforts his kicker as he returns to the back of the line. You feel a little tug on your shirt and look behind you to see a short boy looking up at you. What is his name again?

“Y/N, can I pitch in the next inning?” The scrawny boy asks. Jessica has already managed to strike someone out, taking her off the pitching mound would risk the game.

“Well, uh, champ, let’s see how Jessica does and then we’ll decide, okay?” As the words come out of your mouth, you feel dirty. You know this isn’t what camp is about.

But Jessica strikes out two more players from Hoseok’s team before they can score any points. Hoseok has his back turned to you, talking to his players, but Yeonjun looks frustrated already and that feels fucking great.

“Let’s keep it going! Who are my strong kickers?” You ask everyone, not addressing the camper in front of you again. The boy sulks away, and doesn’t ask to pitch again.

~~~~~~~

Egg & Spoon Race

An American classic event, the egg and spoon race. It is simple, but by no means is it easy. Especially not when the spoons are held by uncoordinated children. Luckily, Seokjin protested the waste of real eggs and the kids are using ping pong balls instead. So at least there won’t be a huge mess.

The first week of camp is almost over and you’ve had the chance to get to know your campers a little more. Currently they are taking turns running down the field with the spoon. They have to run down the field and come back to tag the next person in line. So far, they are pretty even with their opponents, Team One and Team Three.

“Hey, Y/N, Jakobi said he doesn’t want to do this activity, what should I do?” Mack asks.

Jakobi, poor Jakobi. He was the kid that you turned down for pitching in kickball earlier this week.

“I’ll go talk to him.” You reply. He is standing out of the line of campers, and you jog over to him. “Hey buddy, what’s going on?”

“I don’t want to play this game.” He sulks. “I’m not fast enough.” His explanation hits you in the chest. This is your fault, isn’t it?

“This game isn’t about being fast! It’s about having a steady hand.” You reply cheerfully.

“What do you mean?” He asks, looking up at you with his big brown eyes.

“Here, hold your hands out like this.” You put your hands out in front of you, and he follows suit. “See, your hands are frozen, not moving at all! You won’t drop the egg, and that’s more important than being fast.”

Jakobi, pleased with this response, gets back in line and waits for his turn to help the team. You hadn’t been paying attention to the race for a few minutes, but it looks like your team has actually managed to pull ahead of Hoseok’s.

“Alright Jakobi! You got this!” You cheer as he gets tagged in. Jakobi begins walking down the field. Slowly. “Maybe a little faster, champ!” You cheer again.

“You said I could go slow!” He stops in the middle of the field to talk to you.

“You can, you can! Just keep going please.” You try to reassure him, but you know the smile isn’t convincing.

“Ja-kob-i. Ja-kob-i.” You begin chanting, and the rest of your team does as well. Jakobi, still walking at a slow pace, makes it to the end of the field without dropping the egg, now he’s just got to make it back.

Unfortunately, Hoseok’s team is now on their last few campers. You look over and see Hoseok grinning like a fool. He’s pleased because he knows he’s going to win. You can feel the urge to scream at Jakobi to run, but before you do you lock eyes with him.

He’s beaming.

“I didn’t drop it!” Jakobi celebrates as he finally returns to his team and tags the next person in line.

“You did a great job Jakobi!” You smile and give him a high-five. Your team may lose this game, but at least they all played.

Team One’s last player crosses the finish line, then Team Three’s, then Team Two’s. The winning team cheers gleefully, celebrating their victory. The campers disperse from today’s Team Game and head to their cabins to get ready for dinner.

Hoseok is collecting the supplies from the game to return to the equipment. Your kids handed you the spoon and ping pong ball, so you have to hand it over to him. He’s already walking toward you to gather the supplies.

He’s wearing a white tank top and his beige bucket hat. Somehow he makes it look like high fashion. Just a few days into camp and he’s already gotten a tan. His golden skin glows in the sunlight.

“Hey Y/N, great game.” He laughs, words dripping with sarcasm. You stop about five feet away from him and drop the spoon and ping pong ball on the grass before walking away. “Come on, don’t be a sore loser.”’

“Don’t be a sore winner, Hobi.”

It stops you dead in your tracks. The nickname that you called him last summer just slipped out in your frustration. A lump forms in your throat, and before you can even think about what to do, your feet are running away from him.

~~~~~~~

The Prank

Early in the week, a few counselor’s decided to sneak into cabin 13. Of course Jimin and Jungkook were involved, along with the two female counselor’s they’ve been wooing. Seokjin told you that they were found out because they ran screaming from the cabin after they saw a ghost.

Cabin 13, the long abandoned cabin at the edge of camp, has been used for smoking weed, secret rendezvous, and pranks. Officially, it’s on standby in case the infirmary fills up or if something contagious breaks out.

Several times last summer, you and Hoseok snuck out about a couple hours after lights out to chill and smoke weed. The weed he brought to camp wasn’t very strong, so it really just took the edge of things. The conversations you had there are what cemented your romance. He loved to talk about the stars and what lies beyond them, and it filled the air with mystery.

“Guys, guys! Guess what!” Ryujin approaches you and Seokjin outside the Mess Hall, just after dinner.

“What is it? I don’t like to guess.” Seokjin responds.

“Yeonjun asked me to meet him at cabin 13.” She’s beaming. Her excitement reminds you of the feeling you had when Hoseok first asked you to go there with him.

“Shh!” Seokjin hushes her. “Don’t let anyone hear you say that. Especially not those two.” He adds, pointing at Namjoon and the LCT.

“What? I thought you guys went there.”

“Yeah, sometimes. It’s an open secret, but you still don’t want to get caught there.” You explain.

“Being out past curfew is technically against the rules too, and Namjoon is a stickler for it.” Seokjin adds.

“Oh, well... Hoseok will be there too, he goes there like twice a week. We’ll be careful!” Ryujin turns and walks away.

“Did you hear that Jin?” You ask, a devious smile spreading across your face.

“Oh god, what are you thinking?” Seokjin replies nervously.

“Well, as Lead Counselor of this fine establishment, I think you should be in charge of ghost hunting.”

“Ghost hunting?” He questions.

It wasn’t quite ghost hunting you had in mind, actually. But manufacturing a ghost. One thing you know about Hoseok is that he firmly believes in spirits. It’s honestly surprising that he’s still willing to visit cabin 13 after Jungkook claimed to have seen a ghost there.

A little after midnight, Seokjin taps lightly on the door of your cabin. You open the door slowly and tiptoe out, white sheet in tow.

“What is that? They’re not gonna fall for that.” Seokjin whispers.

“Yes they will, once we prime them for it.” You respond.

Sneaking across camp is a little nerve-racking, but you manage to make it to the side of camp with the boys cabin and then to the north side of camp when cabin 13 is located. You hold up your hand to stop Seokjin from moving any closer.

Holding a finger up to your lip, you signal him to be quiet so you can listen. You can hear giggling coming from the dark cabin, they’re in there.

“Let’s move.” Your whisper is barely audible.

As you approach the cabin, you can hear the group more clearly. Yeonjun is giggling and Ryujin is coughing. Hoseok, is muttering something you can’t make out. His voice is monotone, mellow. Seokjin and you lean up against the side of the cabin, under the window on the back wall.

“Okay so what’s the plan?” Seokjin whispers.

“We’re going to start by making scratching noises and thumping noises, then you’ll get in position.” You explain.

“What do you mean I’ll be getting into position?!” Seokjin whisper-shouts.

“Shh! Did you hear that?” Hoseok asks from inside the cabin.

“No, what was it?” Yeonjun asks, holding back his giggles.

“Just thought I heard something.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes and takes the sheet and wraps it around his shoulders. You search the ground and pick up a stray stick. You tap it against the wall a few times, but there’s no reaction from it. Instead of tapping it, you decide to scrape it against the wall slowly.

“Okay I heard it that time too.” Ryujin says.

“There must be something outside.” Hoseok replies, voice wavering.

“Yeah, it’s probably just an animal.” Yeonjun says.

You motion for Seokjin to cover himself with the sheet and crouch in front of the window, ready to jump. There is some whispering inside, so you decide to bang your fist against the wall loudly.

“Fuck!” Hoseok shouts.

“Just look out the window, it’s an animal!” Yeonjun replies. You hear some hesitant footsteps inching closer, then Seokjin springs up from the ground.

“GHOST!” Hoseok wails, and then you can hear the three of them scrambling to get out of the door on the other side of the cabin. The footsteps fade away as they sprint back to their respective cabins.

You and Seokjin fall on the ground, shaking with laughter.

“I can’t believe it worked” Seokjin gasps for air between laughs.

You stand from the ground after the laughter settles. Standing on your toes, you peer into the cabin window.

“Oh shit he left his bag of blunts! He must have really been scared.”

The two of you walk around to the front of the cabin and inspect the cabin. There’s a few empty beer cans and chip bags and the bag of blunts.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” You say, and Seokjin smiles.

~~~~~~~

Red Rover

In the heat of the afternoon, your campers are lined up across the field from their competitors, Team One. After a long day of singing, crafting, and other various outdoor activities, your campers are exhausted. It’s a triple digit day, and even you can’t deny that you’re feeling sluggish.

Red rover is a simple enough game, but Team One has more older boys and you’re afraid that your team won’t stand a chance, especially when they would much rather be cooling off in their cabins. Mack is currently attempting to give everyone a pep talk.

“I think we’re ready, Team One!” Mack yells across the field to Hoseok and Yeonjun. Both groups of campers hold hands with each other and prepare to hang on tight.

“Y’all won the last game, so go ahead and start us off!” Yeonjun announces.

“Let’s call for Tony.” You say in a loud whisper to your campers. You don’t trust them to pick an appropriate runner from the other team.

“Let them play.” Mack hisses at you. You look over at him, puzzled. “They are tired and you just need to let them play.” He must be grumpy from the heat.

“Fine, fine.” You raise your arms defensively.

“Red rover, red rover, let Tony come over!” Team Two shouts in unison. Tony, one of the smaller boys on Team One, does his best to sprint the distance between the two lines of campers. He tries his best, but does not manage to break through the bond on Team Two, so he is added to the line.

“Red rover red rover, let Hyuka come over!” Team One’s rebuttal is to take another small boy. Team Two naturally cheers for Hyuka as he runs over to Team One and he is successful in breaking through. He grabs a member of Team One and drags them over to your team.

“Great job guys! Keep it up!” You’re a little surprised that your team is actually winning right now.

After a few more rounds of red rover, the kids are really starting to sweat in the heat. But Team Two is still winning! Even after Jessica got taken into Team One.

“Hey campers, why don’t we go ahead and grab some ice pops in the Mess Hall!” Namjoon enthuses, practically sneaking up behind you.

“What? No! We’re winning!” You protest.

“Y/N,” Namjoon says, tilting his head at you. “It’s over one hundred degrees out here.”

“Ah... yes. Let’s go inside!” It’s embarrassing to let Namjoon catch you not putting the kids first. Even more embarrassing to watch him write something down his clipboard before motioning for the campers to follow him back to the Mess Hall.

“God, can you believe that?” You whisper to Mack, letting a good amount of distance fall between you and the flock of campers.

“You know, I honestly can’t believe you.” Mack stops in his tracks, glaring at you.

“What?” You gulp.

“Listen, you know I want to win games as much as the next guy, but you’re not putting campers first anymore. We’re almost halfway through the summer and you’re letting your stupid competition with Hoseok ruin the summer for our kids. I’m tired of it, Y/N.”

You’re completely speechless. You’ve never heard Mack yell at anyone before and now here he is, and Junior Counselor, berating you for ruining the summer?

“Just do better.” Mack says before jogging to catch up with the campers.

~~~~~~~

Freeze Tag

“If you see one of your teammates get frozen, make sure you help them get unfrozen. Does everyone understand?” All the campers agree to the rules of the game, and to the small bit of strategy you offered up.

This time, your team isn’t just up against Team One, but Team Three as well. It’s every man for himself, last man standing, truly a free for all. Though, you’re not too worried about Team Three. Their leaders are... distracted.

One of them is a young JC and the other is Jungkook’s new love interest. You don’t envy her. Every girl at this camp, campers and counselors, want a shot at Jungkook, but she’s the one who caught his eye. She did have an unfair advantage though, they were childhood friends or something like that.

“Ready, set, go!” The LCT yells and then blows her shiny whistle. The kids are off, scrambling every which way, trying not to get tagged. You are watching your campers closely, but they are getting tagged left and right.

“AVERY!” You shout at the top of your lungs. “Nikki is on your team, you don’t have to freeze! And Nikki, don’t tag your teammates! Ugh!” You should rather loudly. You shake your head and continue watching your team. You notice Hoseok talking to the LCT and she jots down something on her obnoxiously decorated clipboard.

She looks up from her notes and over at you, giving you a little nod. She walks away, clipboard in hand and you have a feeling she’ll be observing your activities a little more closely. Hoseok turns his attention back to the game.

His team is doing well, only a few of them seem to be frozen and the rest are still zooming around the field. Your team, however, is not following your advice. They’re too worried about being tagged to find teammates to unfreeze.

“Jessica, can you please go unfreeze some of your teammates?” You say as Jessica runs by your post. She stops and turns back to you.

“What did you say?” She asks.

“I said go unfreeze your teammates! Wait, look out!” Just as you’re explaining yourself, a Team Three camper comes up behind Jessica and freezes her. You let out a sigh. “That’s alright Jessica.”

“It’s just a game! Hopefully someone will come by and freeze you!” Mack jogs up to where you and Jessica are standing. “It’s just a game.” He says again, directly to you this time. He’s annoyed.

“I know you’re right, I just want to win.” You sigh.

“Well we have already lost. All of our campers are frozen.” Mack replies.

“WHAT!” You screech. Mack puts a firm hand on your shoulder as a reminder of his earlier words. You try to take a deep breath and you search the field to find Hoseok. He’s looking back at you, a smug grin on his face.

~~~~~~~

Flag Football

The rules of traditional American football have always gone over your head. The flag version of the game is a little more simple, but you still opt to let Hoseok explain the game to both teams. You’re listening intently to his explanation, and he’s doing an annoyingly good job of putting it in terms that the kids (and you) can understand.

Once his explanation is completed, all four team leaders help the campers put on their flag belts. They could probably do it themselves, but everyone wants to make sure that the belts are as secure as possible.

“Huddle up!” Mack calls to your team and everyone forms a circle around him as he doles out assignments for offensive players and defensive players. He was very insistent on doing this part himself. Perhaps it’s because he’s a football buff, but it seems more likely that he wants to evenly spread the assignments and doesn’t trust you to do it.

Mack has been taking more of a leadership role on the team because he thinks you are compromising the team due to your own selfish desire to win. It’s hard to admit, but you know he’s right to some degree.

The teams are lined up across the field from each other, Team One starting with the ball. Your team’s defensive line up is good. Yeonjun blows his whistle and the game begins. Bodies are running all around the field, every which way.

The kids are just aiming to grab flags, they aren’t being strategic at all. They are snapping flags left and right and before Team One can get their ball very far, more than half the field has been de-flagged.

“Wow, their lack of strategy is actually working for them this time.” You laugh.

“Yeah, it’s amazing what happens when you let kids be kids.” Mack chides.

You sulk away from him and walk down to the other end of the field to get some distance. From here, you’ve got a great view of Hoseok. Always wearing his bucket hat.

Suddenly, the whistle blows loudly and Hoseok sprints to the middle of the field where you notice that one of his kids is down. He’s clutching his knee and holding back tears. Hoseok runs to the child and takes a look at the injury.

It can’t be more than a scratch, but Hoseok scoops the camper up in his arms and walks him off the field. He comes to the Team Two side, simply because it’s the fastest way to get off the field.

“Do you want me to take you to the nurse to get a band aid or an ice pack?” He asks as he sets down the camper.

“No, I think I’m okay. Can I just sit out for now?” The camper replies.

“Of course you can, I’ll sit over here with you until it’s time to get ready for dinner.” Hoseok pats the camper’s back.  

Mack walks over to see how things are going and chats with Hoseok for a moment. He gives you a look.

“Are you taking notes?” He asks you loudly, in front of Hoseok and everyone. If you could give him the middle finger, you would.

~~~~~~~

The Obstacle Course

The heat between Team One and Team Two has hit an all time high. Earlier this week, your team scored bonus points by staying in the Mess Hall after dinner to scrub the tables after a particularly messy spaghetti night. But after hearing about this, Hoseok decided his team would take some of their free time to tidy up and organize the equipment storage room. This earned Team One even more points.

You’re determined to take him down at today’s obstacle course. It’s already been set up by Seokjin when the teams arrive. The LCT is here to observe the event.

There are different obstacle courses almost every week. This week, it’s your turn to demonstrate the steps for the kids. Crab walk here, hula hoop, hop on one leg, weave, run, skip, and sprint back to the start.

Once the demonstration has been completed, and you are thoroughly sweaty, Hoseok announces that he will flip a coin to see who gets to start off on the practice round.

“Heads, Team One, tails, Team Two!” You yell over at Hoseok and the LCT who are searching for a coin. She has one in her pocket and she flips the coin. Come on tails!

“Going first is... Team Two!” The LCT says, and you cheer. You always like having the edge and going first, even if it is just a practice round for now.

“Alright, Team Two, in a line!” You shout, leading the campers to the starting point. You decide to go through it again, showing them how it’s done one more time. Leading by example, pointing on the tricky parts as you go.

Hoseok is watching you closely. He’s learning too. When it’s his team’s turn to do a practice run of the course, he stands to the side and let’s them run it themselves. He points out the hard parts and cheers them on as they go. It’s frustrating how natural he is at these things.

Hoseok’s team lines back up, going first for the timed speed round. You feel nervous, you know they got through faster than your team, some of them are tired out now, so it will come down to can your campers pull this off and win?

“Alright, Team One, let’s go!” Hoseok cheers and his kids cheer back, letting him know they’re ready. “LCT - you’ve got the stopwatch!” He looks over at the LCT who is either doodling or jotting down notes on her colorful clipboard.

“Oh!” She says, grabbing her phone in her pocket. “Is this Grease? Do I wave a flag?”

“Just count down and say go.” You respond, rolling your eyes at her reference.

“On your mark, get set, go!” She yells.

Hoseok’s team gets off to a good start, but they have a few fumbles. Someone trips and another is painfully bad at hula hooping. It takes everything in you not to do a happy dance when one of Team One’s campers stops in the middle of his turn to slowly tie his shoe back up.

When it’s time again for your team’s turn, they all line up at the front. You and Mack cheer for them to get them hyped up, and now all you can do is hope for the best.

So far, not bad. They are all doing their best and that is surprisingly good. By your own mental clock, they are not far behind Hoseok. After Nikki finishes, Matthew will be up next, and of course you’re a little nervous. He’s notoriously clumsy, but he’s done fairly well this summer. Jessica is behind him and she will likely make up for any time he loses.

Matthew starts off strong with the crab walk, but anything that takes place on two feet slows him down a bit. The backwards running, though, is what takes him down. He trips and lands on his back on the grass.

“Get up!” You shout, trying your very best to sound encouraging. Get up! Keep going, come on! Just a step further! You can do it Matthew, come on!” By the time you finish your encouragement, it’s turned to full blown yelling. But Matthew is refusing to get up and he’s started crying.

You turn away for a moment, rubbing your eyes in frustration. At Matthew and at yourself.

“You can’t yell at a kid!” Hoseok snaps at you as he runs over to Matthew to comfort him. All of your team has huddle around him on the ground by the time you walk over.

“I didn’t! I thought he could have still gotten up!” You reply defensively.

“You yelled at him!” Hoseok reiterates.

“You yelled too!”

“I did not!��� Hoseok replies, defending himself against your claim.

“You did! You’re the reason why we’re -”

“Leaders!” The LCT shouts from her post about ten feet away. You’re in trouble now.

“Yeah?” You ask, already tucking your tail between your legs.

“What’s up?” Hoseok asks.

“During your breaks, I will see you both in my office. Do not go to your cabins, do not hop to the Mess Hall for snack, do not stop and talk to anyone unless they are Seokjin or Namjoon, do you understand?” She is breathing fire. Scolding you in front of your campers. It’s embarrassing, but you can’t say you don’t deserve it.

Hoseok agrees and you can barely get a word out, so you just nod and mutter an agreement. The LCT instructs you to get back to the campers. Mack has already started walking Matthew to the infirmary.

Your campers look concerned, so you offer them a heartfelt apology. Hoseok suggests that everyone lines up together, both teams, and does one last run through the obstacle course for fun. You agree.

~~~~~~~

The Meeting

You know you deserve to be here at this meeting. Standing outside the office, you have a hard time taking any further steps. You don’t know what fate awaits you behind that door and you are not looking forward to finding out. Especially with Hoseok sitting next to you.

“Hey.” You jump. It’s Hoseok. “We should go in.” He says.

You take a deep breath and turn to look at him. Your competitor, your enemy, and previously your lover. His eyes are soft. He doesn’t look angry, just tired. He reaches past you and opens the door to the LCT’s office and let’s you step in first.

“Sit.” She says before you even have a moment to take in your surroundings. You’ve never been in this office before. You and Hoseok both slide into the chairs in front of the desk. She pauses for a moment and you look around the room. It’s just an office with supplies and paperwork. The only thing in the office that has any personality is the clipboards hanging on the wall behind her. A collection of decorated and personalized clipboards. How nerdy.

“Let’s talk about what hap -” The LCT starts.

“I just want to say that - that I didn’t mean to yell at him, and that I’m -” You cut her off, wanting to get ahead of the scolding. You know you’re in the wrong here.

“Do you plan on interrupting me this entire time?” She snaps at you, and you sit back in your chair, a little caught off guard.

“I’m sorry, I just, I made a mistake and I’m sorry.” You try again.

“Sorry for interrupting me or sorry for your behavior on the field?” She interrogates you.

“Both?” You reply, a little dumbfounded by her attitude. “I was just -”

“I don’t care what you were ‘just.’” She stops you again. You know you deserve punishment, but who pissed in her fruit salad? “What I witnessed today on the field was completely unacceptable. There is no situation, no occasion at Camp Blue Side where how you two interacted and treated your campers is acceptable. You are so lucky I was the one who witnessed it, instead of Seokjin or Namjoon.”

Hoseok is fidgeting next to you, but you’re paralyzed. You’ve never been spoken to like this from someone you considered a peer. And she’s wrong, if Seokjin had seen it, he would’ve been on your side.

“You are also so unbelievably lucky that your camper isn’t too scarred from your blatant disregard for his wellbeing. You must’ve been graced by the gods today, that all he suffered was a bump on his head and a scratched arm, because if it had been worse, a concussion, a broken bone, a skull fracture, there could’ve been legal ramifications.” She pauses and sighs before continuing. “I cannot believe that either of you have worked yourselves up to such a high level of competition and competitiveness that this was the result.”

“I didn’t mean to yell.” You whimper.

“We’re sorry it got out of hand.” Hoseok sighs.

“I feel awful.” You add.

“We were too into it.” Hoseok sighs, shaking his head.

“I don’t care what you were. That’s the inherent problem with you two, and I knew, I knew this was a possibility of having you on opposing teams, but I hoped it wouldn’t happen. I hoped you would be mature enough to handle this.”

“Hoped?” Hoseok questions.

“Yes, because clearly not only was I wrong, but Seokjin and Namjoon too. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, if it’s just tension, or some sexual repression, but what happened on that field is not Camp Blue Side.” Her words send a chill down your spine and a blush across your cheeks. How could she say that in front of him?

“You both have been here long enough to know what’s acceptable Camp behavior and what isn’t. I never thought I’d have to have this conversation with you, but this summer is full of nasty surprises. Do better, both of you. Now, get out.”

You and Hoseok waste no time in exiting that office and shutting the door behind you. All you want to do is run back to your cabin and bury your face in the pillow. But you know you owe Hoseok an apology.

“I’m sorry.”

“You better fucking be sorry.” Hoseok replies, bitterness coating his tongue. “And that will never happen again.” He adds before walking away.

It’s a slap in the face on top of a punch to the gut. You are guilty, there is no denying that, but you aren’t the only one. How dare he act like he didn’t start this whole thing. He ghosted you. All he had to do was say “Hey, sorry, I'm actually not interested.” But he didn’t even have the balls to do that.

You have to tone down the competitiveness, but this is certainly not over.

~~~~~~~

[ohtobeoneofbuckysplums]

Some Friendly Competition [BUCKY BARNES X READER]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader // Avengers x Reader 

Summary: The first time you ever interact with Bucky Barnes is over a game of beer pong. 

Word count: ~1.7k

Contains: just some good ole fluff and a bit of PG-13 language

A/N: My first fic/post on this blog! I really hope you guys enjoy this, and let me know your thoughts/give me some feedback! Requests are open, so feel free to send me some ideas or just say hi!  

 –––––

“Friday, chill sesh in the main apartment,” Tony calls out as you guys walk out of the meeting, “I’m gonna dock your pay if you miss it!” 

 –––––

The hangout is already in full swing when you arrive. 

“Lady Y/N!” Thor booms when you walk in, raising his drink to you, and you wave back laughing. Tony’s outside at the bar next to the pool, playing bartender. You walk over. 

“What can I get for you, kid?” He asks, throwing a dishrag over his shoulder. 

“Surprise me, old man,” you shoot back. 

After grabbing your drink (he made you a Margarita), you head to the ping pong table at the other side of the pool where Sam and Steve are talking. 

“What’s up, Y/N,” Sam greets with a hug. 

“Great job on the mission,” Steve says, patting you on the shoulder. 

“Easy peasy,” you say with a nonchalant wave of your hand. Your gaze catches on the red solo cups on the table. 

“Wanna go a round?” You ask Sam, shaking the ball that’s clutched in between your fingers. 

“No way, Y/N. Remember the last time we played?” he asks, and you cackle at the memory of finding him the morning after going sixteen rounds of beer pong (all of which he lost but continued to call for rematch after rematch) in a neon pink speedo and asleep on the unicorn floatie on top of the pool. You used up half of your phone’s data taking pictures of him, all of which you sent to the team group chat.  

“Stevie?” You asks, jutting out your bottom lip. He laughs at you.

“Nice try,” he says while shaking his head. Since he can’t get drunk, you guys usually play with a forfeit. Last time he had to let you pick his outfit for one day. The look on everyone’s faces when Captain America walked into the mission meeting in a hotdog suit brings a smile to your face every time you think of it. 

“You guys are no fun,” you say with a pout. 

“I’ll play a round with you Miss Y/L/N,” Peter pipes up from the couch in front of the fire pit. You raise a brow and Sam laughs, but you throw him a ball anyway. 

“Good luck kid.” 

“Okay, okay cool, I’ve only played like once at a party, but I don’t know if that counts since we didn’t have beer, so we used cranberry juice, but I feel like––” 

Bucky plucks the ping pong ball out of Peter’s hands. “You and me,” he says to you. You raise your brows, surprised that the Winter Soldier decided to even come out to one of these hangouts. You talked to him before, basic pleasantries on missions and around the tower, but haven’t really had a full on interaction with him. You ignore that though. The tequila is beginning to work its way into your bloodstream and he looks especially good in a simple black tee and jeans and you kind of want to see how good of a beer pong player the famous Winter Soldier really is. You look at him for a beat longer, giving him time to change his mind if he wants, but he simply quirks up a brow. 

“Okay, you’re on Barnes.” He flashes you a smile that makes your cheeks warm. 

“You don’t want to play her Barnes, she’ll smoke you,” Sam warns him. 

Steve folds his arms across his chest, his face adorned with an amused smile. Because honestly, he doesn’t know who would win. A super soldier with a bionic arm against an assassin with deadly aim. Each has an equal shot. 

“Eye for eye,” you both say in unison, locking eyes while tossing each of your balls. Yours makes it in while his bounces off the rim of a cup. 

“Next time, sweets,” you say with a wink. He cracks a smile and rolls his eyes. You make two of his cups, and now it’s his turn. 

Flicking his wrist, the ball plops into the cup at the center of the triangle. Your mouth melts into an evil grin. 

“Pants off.” 

His eyes sharpen. “What?” 

“You made the center cup on your first try. Pants off.” His mouth opens, about to argue. 

“Those are the rules man,” Steve says, eyes crinkling at the corners. Bucky gives him a glare that would make any other man piss his pants, but Steve just shrugs and beckons him to undress. He lets out an annoyed huff, but proceeds to unbuckle his belt. When he finishes pushing down his black jeans, he’s left in a pair of tight black briefs. Someone whistles. You can’t help your eyes as they wander down.

“Eyes up here, Doll,” he says with a smirk, and your mouth drops open. The dimple on the side of his face deepening when he sees your flustered state. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, Barnes,” you say, trying to ignore the way your stomach twists when he calls you “Doll.”

 –––––

You’re currently in the lead when Nat walks over, six shots held impressively between her fingers. She hands you two of the them, gives two to Sam, and downs the last two herself.

“I would have gotten you two oldies some, but then I remembered that you guys only drink gross whiskey,” she says to Bucky and Steve. 

“How considerate,” Bucky says dryly, arms now crossed against his chest. 

You hiss when you feel the vodka run down your throat, and you scrunch up your face at the taste. 

Sam laughs. “One of the best Russian trained assassins can’t handle the taste of vodka.”

“Fuck you Big Bird,” you wheeze out, flipping him off. Sam’s mouth pops open comically. Bucky chokes on air, and Nat howls, clapping her hands together. 

“Big Bird? Big Bird?” Sam asks, eyebrows to his hairline. You all continue to laugh even harder at his affronted expression, and he scoffs. 

“The utter disrespect. Big Bird? Come on, I need a drink,” you hear him mumble to himself as he walks away. 

“I love you!” You yell. He waves you off, and you blow him a kiss. Nat’s still giggling when your favorite song comes on. 

“Your turn Barnes––oh my god, I love this song!” you exclaim. Bucky gauges the shot, and he’s just about to release the ball when you raise your arms above your head, swaying your hips to the music, and his eyes laser in on the small strip of skin that’s uncovered when your shirt rides up. His hand falters, and the ball flies to the left and bounces away and onto the ground. You smirk and wink, and his eyes narrow. 

“Distracted there, Bud?” Steve murmurs. Bucky glares at him. And out of spite, he tosses the ball while still glaring at Steve. It splashes straight into a cup. Steve raises his brows and his hands in mock apology. 

You’re both down to your last cups. He’s a formidable opponent. It’s his turn, and he makes it. You’re not worried though. 

Okay just gotta make this shot, or he wins. Easy peasy. You take a breath and release the ball. It soars in a nice arc, hits the rim, and…

rolls off the side of the cup and bounces off the table. 

Your mouth pops opens in surprise while Bucky’s stretches into a triumphant smile. 

“Rematch,” you demand. 

“Uhh, I don’t think so, I kinda like being the king of beer pong right now. Maybe another time,” he says with a smug grin. Your shock turns into a begrudging laughter. 

“Okay fine. Good game, good game,” you say, offering up your hand, which he takes, warm hand and rough callouses rub against your skin deliciously. 

You grab his tumbler of whiskey sitting on the table and down the rest in one gulp. He raises his brows, eyes focused on a drop of liquor at the corner of your mouth. 

“I’m gonna hold you to that rematch,” you say before sauntering off. He watches you leave before seating himself down on the couch. 

A hand offers him a refilled glass of whiskey, which he takes. He can’t get drunk, but it’s familiar, and Tony’s collection tastes nice. Seconds after, Steve plops down next to him. 

“So, what do you think of Y/N?” 

“She’s cool. I like her,” he says simply, not taking his eyes off the way you’re drunkenly dancing dangerously close to the pool’s edge with Natasha. Steve narrows his eyes, a knowing smile playing on his lips. 

“Shut up, punk,” he says

“I didn’t say anything!” Steve exclaims, raising his hands in defense. 

“Didn’t have to,” still gazing at you. You’re now braiding Thor’s hair, and his stomach clenches with something akin to jealousy and something else when he sees you throw back your head and laugh at something the lightening god says, wishing that that person who was making you laugh was him. That the hair you’re combing your fingers through was his. That he could laugh that easily with you. 

“Okay, whatever, I won’t push it,” Steve says, clinking his own glass to Bucky’s. 

A few moments of peaceful silence. 

“Bucky has a crush!” 

“Oh fuck you, what are you twelve?” Bucky says before pushing himself off the couch. 

“Hey––where are you going?” Captain America calls after his best friend. 

“Away from you!” 

Steve shakes his head as he laughs, raising his glass to his lips before hearing Sam’s shriek followed by a loud splash. 

“Fuck you Barnes,” Sam sputters once his head breaks through the water. Bucky just flips him off as he walks back inside. 

“What the hell did you say?” Steve asks, wiping the water droplets off of his face. 

“I just asked him why he was smiling so much!” 

[peterthepark]

crush culture - [one]

adventures in beer pong

pairing: steve harrington x reader (university & modern au)

summary: Beer pong, inappropriate pictures on mugs, insta-stalking, and a phone number that you couldn’t quite bring yourself to text is the summary of your night.

warnings: alcohol, partying, strong language

series masterlist

Go to the party, Kate said. It’ll be fun, she said.

You wince as you step on the back of someone’s shoe, apologizing sincerely when they send you a dirty look. You trail behind Robin, who follows Kate into the living room. The small loft of an apartment was too packed with people, and you could already feel that impending need to get out appear in your chest. You lock eyes with a few people from your classes, waving to them weakly as you expertly dodge past other party goers. The glitter around your eyes stings against your skin as you blink it away, grumbling at the sticky texture against your eyelids.

You see Levi from across the couch, busy talking to a couple players from the tennis team. Him being the boyfriend of Kate, you all were able to go out to a lot more parties - most of them being off campus. He raises his bottle of Smirnoff at you, winking at Kate when she catches his eye.

You’re bobbing your head along to the music before you move to stand on the terrace, leaning against the metal railing with your phone in hand. Your body buzzes with alcohol, having gotten pre-party drinks with the girls as you got ready.

Feeling a tap on your shoulder, you look up, met with an already tipsy Kate. “Y/N! Did you get my text?” She asks, plopping down onto the plastic chair beside you. You shake your head, furrowing your eyebrows at why she would even be texting you when you were in the same, damn room. “Remember that guy who I wanted to hook you up with? Yeah, I got his number from Jonathan!”

“Jonathan? Jonathan’s here?” You scoff, knowing damn well that he did not go to parties, none like these anyways.

“Yeah! He’s his roommate. Cool guy. I think he deli-“ She looks back inside the apartment, hearing her other friends shout at her. “I gotta go, bitch. Okay, but anyways, look at the text! Hit him up!”

You purse your lips, tapping through your phone. Kate’s contact is the first to appear in your messages, and reluctantly, you take a look at what she had sent. Only a phone number and a kissing emoji appears in the grey bubble of text. She could have given you a serial killer’s contact, for God’s sake. Where was his name? His details? Hell, you would’ve preferred Tinder over your friend’s matchmaking shit. Deciding that it would be best to ask when she became sober, you tuck your phone away in your bag, before heading back into the party.

That’s when you clumsily run into someone, nearly falling into your ass. Thankfully, the guy grabs onto your arm before you can react, and you’re glad that you hadn’t flashed the whole party if you had gone down.

“Y/N!”

“Jonathan? Oh, my gosh, hey!” You pull him into a friendly hug, gushing over how long you haven’t seen one another. ��What are you doing here? I thought you hated this type of shit.”

“Well, this is actually my place, so... no choice, but to be here. My roommate is hosting the party, and honestly, I have not seen him one bit.” He trails off, glancing around the living room with narrowed eyes. “Do you want a drink?” He nods to your empty hand. “They’re all in the kitchen. It’s just down the hallway.”

“Thanks. Good luck finding your roommate.” You chuckle before excusing yourself to go get a cup of vodka.

By process of elimination, you were able to successfully find the kitchen, which happened to be down the other hallway, not the one that led to the closet (where you happened to walk into Robin making out with someone). Surprisingly, the kitchen was empty, and you felt more at ease with the peace. But it wasn’t till that you couldn’t find a plastic cup or a glass to fill with alcohol that your anxiety had skyrocketed.

Where the hell are the fucking red cups when you need them?

You didn’t want to snoop around, so awkwardly, you unscrewed the cap of Absolut, choosing to do a risky waterfall instead.

Your back was to the doorway, and when a voice had spoken behind you, vodka had been spilled everywhere.

“What are you doing?”

Familiar. Ah, you knew who it was.

Turning around with a look of embarrassment, you lock eyes with the brunette boy, smiling forcibly when he recognizes your face.

Well, you look different.

His hair is messier than usual, a bit more unkempt, but fitting for this type of party. His shirt is tight around his toned arms and your bandaid peeks out from his ripped jeans - oh, you didn’t know he wore glasses.

This is a total three-sixty from ‘Steve the Newspaper Boy.’ You can’t lie to yourself and say that he didn’t look good.

Because he really did look good.

“Steve!” Cough. “Hello, uh, Steve.” Cough. “Hi.”

“Hi, Y/N. Uh, what exactly are you doing in the kitchen?” He laughs awkwardly.

“Looking for cups?” You shrug with uncertainty, stepping away from the counter as Steve reaches into the cabinet above. He groans when he sticks his entire arm into the top shelf, feeling around for - there it is.

“Here.” He hands you a coffee mug instead, explaining that all the red solo cups had been finished. “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“The cups?”

“Actually, let me rephrase that. What are you doing at my place?”

Oh.

Oh!

He was Jonathan’s roommate. That made sense.

But that also meant that Kate had given you Steve’s number and that he was the guy she was trying to set you up with.

You had Steve Harrington’s number.

But he didn’t know that.

“I came for the party. Levi invited me and a few friends. Sorry if he didn’t tell you or anything.” You answer, taking a drink.

Your eyes bulge out of your head in shock when you finally see the picture that was printed onto the mug, noticing that it seemed to be a censored photo of Steve who was... streaking in the street?

“Okay, now this is a conversation starter.” You turn the mug around to show him. He immediately turns red and erratically takes it from your hands, dumping out all of its contents and replacing it with a new - more appropriate - cup to drink from.

“Crap, that’s fucking embarrassing. I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to grab that mug. Out of all of them, I really had to - wow, I look like an asshole.”

“We really have to stop starting our conversations with apologizing.” You chuckle heartily, feeling your cheeks heat up at how Steve lets out a small laugh in response. “I didn’t know you were Jonathan’s roommate.”

“Yeah, we’ve been good friends for like years. He was able to get into that crazy ‘smart-kid’ university that’s literally an hour away. Thankfully, we aren’t too far from one another, so figured that sharing a place wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

He also gave me your number.

You should probably bring that up now.

Maybe not.

“How nice.” You tap your nails against the marble counter, redirecting your gaze to the questionable magnets on his fridge.

“So, having fun? I’m a terrible host, clearly, but everyone seems to have a good time.” He tries to casually lean against the doorframe, but he isn’t quite great at acting natural. His head rests against his hand, while his elbow stays propped onto the wall.

I have your number. And you’re cute. But more importantly, I have your number.

“No, this is great, Steve. Thanks.”

Little bitch.

“I was wond-“

“Steve!” Levi pokes his head into the doorway, “You’ve finally met Y/N, huh? Anyways, we’re playing a game by the couch. Come, come!” He drags Steve behind him, who looks at you pleadingly to join him. You laugh, pouring yourself another drink before you catch up with them.

The two couches are basically taken up with people; the only seats available are in the tight corner of the loveseat, where you find yourself wedged beside Steve. His thigh is pressed up against yours, and your shoulders touch as you both lean forward in anticipation.

“Beer pong! Beer pong!”

Loud chants ring throughout the room, and suddenly, everyone is crowding around the foldable table surrounded by the couches and loveseat. Levi goes to explain instructions, directing everyone to go find a partner. You immediately get up to find Robin, who was insanely skilled at beer pong. However, it appears that she’s found another partner, slinging an arm around her thin waist. You shake your head, completely lost with who to team up with.

Out of choices, you move to lean against the wall closest to the TV, watching closely as the game began. When one team made a ball into the cup, the opposing team had to drink - it was all pretty self explanatory, and you felt more than envious to join.

“Y/N, come on!” Kate yells at you from the line of players, standing beside Levi. ”You’ve gotta play!” You shrug defeatedly, shuffling into the cramped group of people.

The universe is funny.

But not funny enough to be a comedian.

Because suddenly you’re standing next to Steve, who also happens to be without a partner.

Hands in his pockets, he turns to you, “You good at beer pong, Y/N?”

“I’m a pro.” His lips tug into a smirk at your comment, then he bumps your fist with his as you linger by the edge of the table.

“But are we trying to get drunk tonight?” He passes you the ping-pong ball, locking eyes with you. You nod in reply as if the answer was obvious, and he chuckles. “Then you better fucking miss.”

Drink.

After drink.

After drink.

You and Steve occasionally would try to actually make a shot in, getting it in almost every time. But for most of the game, the both of you would miss intentionally, giving the other team a chance to win.

“Cheers!” You giggle drunkenly, tapping the rim of the cup against Steve’s. He doesn’t break eye contact with you as you down the whole drink, wincing at the bitter aftertaste in your throat.

After a few more matches, you start to feel really sick. Steve thinks it’s best to end the game, and you agree - deciding to step aside to go find Robin and Kate.

Fortunately, you were able to see them by the bathroom, next to the outlets where they could charge their phones. Kate has her head in Levi’s lap, her nose buried in her phone while Robin stares up at the ceiling with a massive headache.

“There you are,” She breathes out, patting the empty spot in between her and Levi on the hardwood floor. You sit, and the back of your shirt rides up as you slide down the to the ground.

As the party furthers into the night, groups of two or four people begin to leave periodically. You and Steve had gone your separate ways after beer pong, but you assumed that he crashed in his room from the amount of drinks he had, seeing he was nowhere to be seen again. Being the only half-sober member of the apartment, Jonathan found himself stuck with the task of locking up, and so you politely volunteered to help him while your friends ordered an Uber.

You made small talk, asking each other about your personal lives as if there was actually something interesting happening other than your studies. He had brought up his girlfriend Nancy, which led you to question the fact that he was living with Steve.

“But isn’t that awkward? Like your girlfriend’s ex being in the same household as you?” You scoff, holding out a trash bag for Jonathan. He takes it, dumping an empty box of pizza inside.

He shrugs, “I don’t know. At first, it was... it was weird? But we all came from the same hometown and - and we both had financial problems, so we just got over any issues. Plus, high school was - jesus - a couple years ago? Steve doesn’t feel anything for Nancy.”

“Yeah?”

“Kate gave you the number, right?” He raises his eyebrows at you, smirking under the dull light of the kitchen.

“Yeah. I-I probably won’t use it or anything. I barely... we don’t really know each other on that - that level yet.”

“Yet? Oh, so you’re planning on getting to know him?” He chuckles teasingly, continuing before you can interrupt. “So tell me, once you get to know him, then you’ll text him?”

“Shut up, Jonathan. It’s just a stupid crush. I’ll get over it.”

You really just admitted that.

Thankfully, Jonathan doesn’t mention it.

“And what if you don’t?”

Motherfu... but he really knew how to twist your words, huh?

You roll your eyes at him, only because you don’t have anything smart to say in reply.

Maybe you would text him. Maybe you won’t. So what? But little did you know, Steve lays in his room, a hot towel on his forehead as he stares blankly at his phone.

He had your number, too.

And he also didn’t know what to do with it. Would texting you be weird? What is he even supposed to start with?

Hey, Y/N. It’s me. Steve Harrington. I’m texting you because, wow, I have your number. Surprise!

No. That’s just plain fucking stupid.

Grumbling under his breath, Steve pulls up his instagram, finding your name at the top of his search bar. Quietly, he scrolls through your feed, clicking through pictures that sparked any interest - well, all of them sparked interest. He’s about to leave your account until he sees a picture of you and some guy. An ex? A boyfriend? He zooms in, trying to get a good look at who you were with.

Slippery hands suck.

Because Steve accidentally double-taps on your photo. A red heart appears, almost as if it were mocking him for liking a two-year old post.

God, he really hated himself right now.

“No, no. No. You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He quickly unlikes it, slamming his phone back onto the nightstand. He gets up from the bed, heading to open his door so that he could help Jonathan.

At that exact moment, the knob to his room turns, and he bumps harshly into you.

“Oh, sorry. Sorry.” He apologizes, “Damn, we have to stop meeting like this.”

Why would you say that? Dingus!

He recovers quickly, keeping his hand rested against the paneled door as you step to the side to talk to him.

“I was just gonna say goodbye. Uh, hopefully I didn’t disturb you or anything.” He smiles. “Okay, well... bye, Steve. Tonight was really, super duper fun.” You touch his arm lightly with a warm grin. There’s a lingering stare between the two of you, until you look away and walk down the hallway towards the living room. He blushes, rubbing the spot that you had touched.

“Bye, Y/N.” Sorry for almost murdering you with the door, by the way. “I-I had fun, too, you know...” His voice lowers to a hushed whisper when he hears you leave. “... with you.”

You let out a sigh of pleasure when your head finally hits the soft cotton of your pillow. Partying was obviously fun, but also tiring in the end. You could already foretell the throbbing headache that you’d have in the morning, so you set aside a pain relief pill and glass of water by your bedside table. You roll onto your side to grab your phone, the cool-toned screen illuminating your face in the darkness of your bedroom.

You squint, seeing a notification which informed you that someone had liked a post of yours. Realizing you haven’t posted in quite a while, you click to see the details.

steveharrington98 liked your post

You refresh the screen with surprised and nervous eyes, only for the notification to disappear right in front of you.

Was he insta-stalking you? You then noticed that he had liked the picture of you and an old friend, Nate. And you couldn’t help but wonder, out of all pictures, why that one? Self conscious, you double-check your feed for embarrassing pictures, deleting any that looked unflattering or plain stupid.

You yelp when the phone falls from your grasp, landing roughly on the bridge of your nose. You swear angrily, before you put the device away from the night.

Maybe the universe truly was a comedian.

A fucking awful one, at least.

•••

TAGLIST: @aphrodites-perfume @itsametaphorbriansblog @delicrieux @ultrunning @l0ve-0f-my-life @novaddictx

[ailuronymy]

Book Club: Tallstar’s Revenge, chpt. 19-27 overview.

Meta analysis of Erin Hunter writing tropes and trends, courtesy of two acclaimed e-sports commentators: 

“[Erin Hunter is] like, we need these characters to seem smart, so they will be the ones to call out all the bullshit. But they [the writers] don't go, wait, why is the bullshit even happening, it doesn’t make sense, and then write something better in the first place. I guess because we read these books on such a meta level so often, it really feels like watching one person play ping-pong against themselves, but one persona needs to look good so the other persona keeps giving themselves wedgies at the table and holding the paddle the wrong way. Which is... less impressive overall than just watching a nice normal game of ping-pong.” - S.

“Erin Hunter, about to self-own: I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move,” - K.   

“Literally! I can’t get past it. I know both players are you, Erin Hunter. I can see you putting on your dunce hat and walking to the other end of the table. You’re not tricking me.” - S. 

This week we’re discussing this chapter through these nine questions. Please feel welcome to do the same and @ailuronymy + use the tag #ailuronymy writing challenge. Happy reading and I’m looking forward to seeing your feelings about this book.

1. First impressions?

K. Oh boy. Lots of emotions, lots of rollercoaster moments. I'm actively hating the things that are happening, all the time, forever.

S. Mood. I would say actively detesting what's happening is the primary emotion now.

2. How did you feel reading this section?

S. Very much bounced between anger and frustration, with moments of genuine delight. Very much extreme ends of the negative and positive spectrum.

K. I don't think I've been more confused and full of pure venom in my life. As a writer I am appalled, and as a reader I am... so uncertain. The good bits were truly lovely to read, though. They made it feel worthwhile, when they shone through.

3. What chapter did you find most interesting/moving/effective, and why?

S. I think it's got to be the conversation with Heatherstar and Barkface. I think that most hooked me. I was also interested with the Flailfoot conversation, although I hated the turn it took. It will be different in my version.

K. Chapter Twenty is the one that actively had me yelling aloud. I was so ready for the Erins to make Tallpaw a tunneller out of sheer fear, and so to see the back-to-back catharsis of Heatherstar disbanding the tunnellers and then Dawnstripe being so A+... god. It got me good.

4. What chapter did you find least interesting/effective/most frustrating, and why?

K. I honestly blue-screened throughout all of Chapter Twenty-Seven, the last chapter. Without anything happening at all,  I saw a swathe of unending, dull descriptive text and my mind just blacked out to save me from comprehending any of it.

S. Was that the moonstone one?

K. Nope, that's like, the very last chapter of our reading. When he leaves the Clan and finds some rogue cat to lead him in the direction of a house.

S. Oh right. I forgot that too. I'm going to go with the Moonstone chapter, though. I fell asleep and dreamed of a better book for that whole time.

5. Is there a passage that stuck in your mind–for good, or not-so-good reasons? What is it, and why did it stand out? Try breaking it down and analysing what this passage does and how.

S. There were several things in this chapter I loved and that really resonated with my concept of Tallpaw and my writing. 

S. “He’d be a warrior soon, then a senior warrior like Hareflight. One day he’d be an elder, limping like Whiteberry and sharing stories from moons ago with his denmates. Above the vast sky stretched toward distant horizon. The Clan looked small and fragile beneath it. Was this it? His life laid out before him like an old story, told again and again through countless moons? Tallpaw’s chest tightened. Suddenly he felt trapped, as though he were in the tunnels once again.”

S. “A thought flashed in his mind. We’re just visitors, like the rogues. We arrive, we eat, we sleep, and then we move on to StarClan. The only difference was that Clan cats stayed in one place their whole life. I’ll only ever see heather and grass and sky. Tallpaw felt WindClan’s borders pressing closer.” I loved this kind of thinking showing up in the story, and I’d have loved way more of this and far far less of literally everything else. You could honestly cut out all of the Sandgorse angst and just lean into this, because it's good and it's real.

S. I also lost my whole mind at this bit: “They’re survivors, like you,” Barkpaw purred. They walked in silence for a while. Talltail gently steered his friend toward Outlook Rock.  “I love this view,” he mewed as he led Barkpaw out across the stone. Barkpaw peered into the night-shadowed valley. “Why? Everything is so dark and far away.”  Talltail sat down, beckoning Barkpaw to sit beside him with a flick of his tail. “Just wait.”  “For what?” The sky was growing pale as the sun pushed up toward the horizon behind them. Glancing over his shoulder, Talltail saw weak rays seeping through the bare branches of ThunderClan’s forest. “You’ll see in a moment,” he told Barkpaw.  As he spoke, the sun lifted above the trees. Sunlight swept the moor and lit up the tips of Highstones.  S. I was basically like fist-pumping. Canonical evidence that dawn is Tallstar's favourite time of day. I didn't know this before I wrote my other story, but damn it feels good. I love when things line up serendipitously like that. 

K.  Absolutely. Those felt so good to read. Not a very long passage, but: “How could his Clan be so unfeeling?” — This isn’t a galaxy brain take or anything, but I do love how evident it is that Tallpaw is just. Solidly projecting his own feelings onto everyone else. They’re not unfeeling, dog! You are!!

6. What themes have you noticed in this section? Are these themes a continuation of the themes you noticed in the first section, or has the story’s focus changed since then?

S. In the first chunk, I picked out "division" as a theme. And that feels very true still, as far as what's happening in the story. It's even more emphatic, with Palebird pushing Talltail out of her family (or so he feels, and with reason, in my opinion) and his self-imposed removal from the clan.

K. "Desire" might also be poignant for this section, actually. Talltail's desire to go off on his own, Barkface's desire for Talltail to be happy, so many other background characters doing something with their lives to have a new start (while Talltail broods).

S. Yes! I agree there. It's actually pretty interesting how the clan's unity in the face of tragedy and their kinship with the visitors is actually a big catalyst for Talltail to feel that division happening. The more together they are, the more apart he feels. I think desire is true of this too. There's--as always--a lot of emphasis on individuality, and choosing your own destiny and doing what you want.  It reminds me of that line from Hawkheart that I really liked, how every cat has to choose their destiny.

7. If you were going to learn a lesson from this section, what lesson would it be? What message stands out to you most clearly? Do you agree with it?

S. I think insofar as I can glean a lesson from this section, I'd go with learning from Heatherstar: sometimes it will be difficult to help people and they might resent you for it, but if you have the power to make a positive change, you should act, even though it's hard. S. That feels very appropriate, given the state of the world right now. So many people are angry that authority figures are telling them to stay home and prevent the spread of COVID, and are resenting the very people who are trying to save their lives. I can see that same issue playing out so clearly in these chapters, after the death of Sandgorse in the tunnels.

K. Absolutely. It's so, so easy to direct anger towards something or someone tangible, rather than accepting that there are things that Just Happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

K. I was going to say something very similar: the things you need to make yourself better aren't always the things you want to hear. So many people try to help guide Talltail away from his anger or towards other, much healthier ways of thinking -- all of them trying to tell him he doesn't HAVE to be a tunneler is one moment -- and he just HATES hearing it, every time. He doesn't want to accept it. It feels better to be in his emotions about it, even if that's most obviously the worst thing he could be doing for himself and for others. Sometimes you just have to let other people give you the honest to god vibe check and learn to put your heart down for a bit, to see what you need to see.

S. Definitely. I feel that getting better necessitates taking responsibility for yourself. It seems like Talltail is resisting that, maybe because it's difficult to be honest with yourself. If you try, you risk failing. And the problem with any kind of self-improvement or recovery is that it's overall made up of little moments of trying to be better every day. That's so much failure to face, it can feel insurmountable. Whereas one grand gesture of revenge? So much easier.  Anger is a motivating emotion, so if you stay in anger, you can often get things done. But anger is also an emotion that makes it harder to react with patience or think clearly. A double-edged sword, if you will.

K. Absolutely. Pinning "if I complete X Task, I will feel better and fix myself" on some big goal is way easier.

S. I think that's what's happening for him at this time. He's not willing to do the mundane, scary work of trying to be better each day, and is going for something he thinks will alleviate guilt instead. But of course it won't.

8. The title of this novel is Tallstar’s Revenge. How do you feel about that title so far? Does it reflect the content of the story well, or would you choose a different title? What alternative title would you suggest?

S. I personally feel the title sets up the story poorly. Because I knew it was hinged around revenge, I was alert and looking for it from the start. I was paying attention to potential betrayals or crimes, so on. And when I realised this extremely unlikeable awful character, Sandgorse, was the catalyst, I got real mad.

K. I don't even know what better title would work, since I'm honestly not very fond of the Super Editions titles. They just... all do the same, on-the-nose shit and it makes it very boring from the start.

S. I think if we were allowed to tweak it a little, The Forgiveness of Tallstar, would be a title I would potentially enjoy more. There's an ambiguity to it, re: who is being forgiven. Is it Tallstar who needs to be forgiven, or is it Tallstar doing the forgiving. And I think you could thematically tie that in so much better to the kinds of beats this story is already showing up.

K. The only like, quote from the book that I think you could mangle into a title is "We guard the edge of the world," which like... I dunno, having something like "On The Edge" included in there feels right. The book's obviously full of big tension and drama within Windclan, while also noting that they literally are on the fringe of Clan territory.

S. I think maybe Beyond the Edge of the World? Since that’s essentially where Tallstar’s journey takes him? 

K. Yeah!

9. Many of us read because we’re curious to find out what’s next. How has curiosity featured in your experience of this book? What’s motivated you to keep reading?

K. Hoo boy. Honestly, half of the reason I'm reading is just with crossed fingers that somehow, SOMEHOW, Talltail becomes better. I know he must. He has to.

S.  For me, curiosity is a big part of why I'm reading--and continuing to read--this book. I want to know what happens next! I'm just usually expecting not to like it.

Final notes:

K. I'm excited for Jake to show up, because I feel that'll help break up whatever the hell Talltail is doing. He needs an excitable twink to break him from the evil fog he's in. S. I don't know if Jake is a twink, honestly. K. Oh, very true. We do love a good himbo. S. He's a bit of a rolypoly boy, according to the wiki. K. OH, even better. K. I forgot that Talltail is the twink. S. He's just a long sad string bean.

K. I AM APALLED AT THIS TURN OF EVENTS, ERIN K. This book is… it’s like being consistently starved to death and then given like, a single apple slice and going ravenous for it. There are so many moments that FEEL great (even if they’re not miraculous, writing or content wise), almost solely because so many things that precede them straight up cause my reader brain to flatline. The despicable one-two punch of Chapter Nineteen into the handful of great moments in Chapter Twenty makes me feel like I’m being waterboarded by Erin Hunter. K. Erin Hunter, holding my head down into the waters of godawful content, before yanking me up for air to see Heatherstar and Dawnstripe saying Good Things just to shove me in again. S. I can't disagree with you. S. I genuinely had moments of going "yeah!!!" followed by "NO!!!" like that one John Mulaney skit.

S. Anyway, I'd like to start us off with a familiar old Erin Hunter classic theme, quoting my notes:  - "Is it even a Warriors novel without multiple birth scenes?" - "Oh excellent another peripheral birth scene, I felt that there wasn’t quite enough in this book so far" S. If I don't have multiple women moaning and/or shrieking and/or groaning from birthing pains in my Warriors novels, I'd be devastated. K. It'd break the immersion.

K. I am very happy to see Deadfoot on the scene though, even though he shows up for like. .5 seconds before he's gone. A very good and lovely baby boy. S. “Tallpaw turned back and tucked his nose under the black tom’s belly. “Hang on!” he warned, flipping the kit onto his shoulders. Tallpaw purred as the young kit dug his tiny claws into his pelt, and carried him over to his littermates.” uhhhh what the fuck K. YUP K. Y U P K. HEY ERIN S. Let me just uhhh toss this child like a sack of potatoes over my cat shoulder real quick. K. Tiny Tim over here S. I lost it. I'm like, you really don't care what cat bodies can do, do you?  K. Erin Hunter: hmmm what if we just pepper in some wack shit. Like, what if it's just. Nonsensical as fuck. Who's gonna tell us we can't? Harper Collins? S. And the answer is: of fucking course not, kitty kung fu time.

K. “You’ve turned mean, Tallpaw,” Reena spat. “ That’s why you’ve got no friends anymore. Whenever a cat comes near you, you bite their head off.” “So?” Tallpaw hissed. “At least I don’t kill them.” “See what I mean?” Reena’s gaze hardened. “Why don’t you talk to me once you’ve finished feeling sorry for yourself?” — God I love Reena, calling it like it is. S. Mood, but also: hate Erin Hunter for doing this to him, over Sandgorse. K. "Flailfoot is trying to reason for a Sandgorse Redemption Arc and I will NOT be having it, you LOSE sir, GOOD DAY," S. Note two from my notes page: "I DON’T CARE ABOUT SANDGORSE" S.  Gets abused by father. Father dies in what is objectively an accident caused by his own defiance and hubris. ??? Goes on a hateful revenge spiral to try and make daddy proud. K.  The worst part is that, unlike Bluestar's which was a fucking awful mess the entire way through, this one gives us just enough to show that the Erins are capable of like. SOMETHING. They can write okay things! They know what they're handing us is bullshit and they do it anyway! It's infuriating. S. From a writing perspective, it's kind of fascinating to see this all happen, because like. What a fucking horrorshow. S. Really feeling in this moment for the people who think Erin Hunter is a good writer. They're getting swindled on Sherlock is Garbage and Here's Why levels. S. Where's the secret good fourth episode, Erin???

K.  “Tallpaw’s wish to learn the skills that led to his father’s death shows true courage.” — HEATHERSTAR WITH THE PREMIUM ROASTS K. Followed by: image: “fuck them [tunnels]” K.  “Shrewpaw!” Dawnstripe glared at the apprentice. “Show some respect to your Clanmate.” Hareflight joined them. “Stop teasing him, Shrewpaw!” “This has gone beyond teasing!” Dawnstripe snapped. “If Shrewpaw were my apprentice, I’d claw his ears.” — HOLY FUCK, GET HIM K. The fact that nobody has noticed Shrewpaw using his claws during training is fucking ridiculous, though. He's done it the whole book, Erin. They would know. They would know. S. Admittedly don't love how everyone's concept of discipline is straight to violence, but we'll overlook that, I guess. K. I understand that like, bullying is something that can go unseen very often, but like. Come on, man. S. Yeah. It's like wearing knuckledusters to a playground fight. Hard to overlook.

S. It's what happens when your characters don't have internal worlds. They're just props standing there until you need them, not people watching and listening to what you're writing right in front of them. S. The problem with Erin Hunter's writing for me is that by this point it's hard to read their female characters generously. S. Most of the time I can go, "okay but if we pretend this woman is real, what rich inner world does she experience?" and try to pick up where lazy writers leave off, but like... Erin Hunter's characters are so vapid. K. It's horrible to read. It's just the worst. S. Not just the female characters, but especially the female characters. And I hate it. K. I'm genuinely surprised that Dawnstripe and Heatherstar haven't been mangled already, but honestly, half of my rage at this book comes from their moments, because it shows that the Erins know exactly what they're doing and how bad this fucking plot is. K. Two major background characters are constantly talking about how things Should Not Be The Way They Are, and it just makes me wanna bang my head on a wall. I know you can see the elephant in the room, Erin. You know this. You know the bad things you're making. S. I genuinely feel that’s why they do it. They make bad plots because it’s easier to make certain characters seem smart or likeable if everyone’s a rude idiot.  S. They’re like, we need these characters to seem smart, so they will be the ones to call out all the bullshit. But they [the writers] don't go, wait, why is the bullshit even happening, it doesn’t make sense, and then write something better in the first place. S. I guess because we read these books on such a meta level so often, it really feels like watching one person play ping-pong against themselves, but one persona needs to look good so the other persona keeps giving themselves wedgies at the table and holding the paddle the wrong way. K. FUCK, THAT'S EXACTLY IT S. Which is... less impressive overall than just watching a nice normal game of ping-pong. K. Erin Hunter, about to self-own: I'm gonna pull what's called a pro-gamer move, S. I just can't get past it. S. I know both players are you, Erin Hunter. I can see you putting on your dunce hat and walking to the other end of the table. S. It makes it really hard to sink into the story. Whenever something stupid happens, I'm brutally yanked out of the narrative, and it's happening constantly at this point, because of the direction they're taking Tallpaw. S. I've tried to like, put that aside and imagine his perspective, but it's so challenging for me to envision an experience where I'm a nice boy on a moor with an idiot backwards dad who bullies me and tries to control my life with emotional manipulation and disregard for authority, and then he dies of the thing everyone was saying was super dangerous and off-limits, and then I lose my mind because I didn't make him proud while he was alive (which he's not anymore, because of tunnelling) so I need to do the thing that killed him (which is tunnelling). S. Tallpaw can't be smart and also have this characterisation for me. It's too incongruent.

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

The Good Life: Chapter 7

Hello, my lovelies! I’m back from mt very brief vacation and am trying to get back into the groove of work, uni, writing, life in general, and posting on a regular-semi-regular basis. I generally try to get new chapters posted on Fridays, so please forgive me for the slightly late posting.

Need to get caught up? The Good Life: Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4 , Ch5, Ch6

If you want to be added (or  removed) from the tags list for this story, just feel free to let me know!

@pink-royaute @believethaticanandiwill @milllott @likeashootingstarfades @i-dream-of-emus @eveerez

The Good Life: Chapter 7

The final beats of the song faded away and there was a brief moment of quiet before yet another rap song that Rae did not recognize began flowing through the speakers that had been strategically arranged around the entire house. Rae glanced down at the bottle of cider she had been nursing as she stood near the couch, catching up with a few of the people that she had not seen in a while, and was disappointed to see that it was nearly empty. “So, Rae...I’m guessing you’re not a fan of this music either, huh?” Archie asked as he walked to stand next to her. “Is it that obvious?” Rae asked with a chuckle as she swirled the liquid in the bottle she was holding and drank the last of it in a single gulp, “I don’t listen to very much rap. It’s just not really my scene, ya know?” “That makes sense. I like some rap music, but this is just shit, honestly. I have no clue who is controlling the music, but I know it’s not Izzy or Chop!” “Yeah, they value my friendship with them far too much to think playing this music is acceptable,” Rae joked, “Speaking of which...where are the two love birds right now? I haven’t seen them around since I first got here.” “Izzy and Chloe left with a group of people about half an hour ago to go get some food. I think Chop and some of the lads might be out back smoking.” “Ah, I see,” “Oh, and uh—Chop and Izzy broke up earlier this week.” “Again?” “Again.” “Do you know what happened this time?” “Not a clue. They’re still talking and still seem on really good terms this time, but after the fourth or fifth break up, I honestly just stopped asking why they broke up.” Archie rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly as he took a sip from his red plastic cup. As much as Rae loved both Izzy and Chop and considered both of them among her closest friends, they were everybody’s favorite on-again-off-again couple and it was nearly impossible to keep up with the changes in their relationship dynamic. “Do you know whose birthday this is a party for? All I know is that Chop invited me to the party, but I have no clue why exactly there’s a party tonight in the first place.”

“I think it’s Julie’s birthday. Or maybe her birthday was the last party Chop host. I’m not sure either. I feel like everyone just uses Chop’s house for the go-to party location because he has a house and roommates that don’t mind the noise and everyone else lives in apartments or doesn’t have enough space to throw a proper party, ya know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rae replied with a laugh.

As a new group of people walked into the room, narrowly avoiding running into the people that were leaving that room at the same time, Rae could hear loud cheers and applause flowing through the door to the backyard.

“Do you think we should go out back to check out what all the noise is about?” Rae asked as she nodded towards the open door on the other side of the room.

“I suppose we could use from fresh air. There’s too many people in here right now anyways,” Archie replied with a shrug.

Archie and Rae made a quick detour to the kitchen to grab a drink before heading outside through the door being propped open by a half-empty case of cheap beer.

When they stepped outside, they saw that a crowd of people were gathered around a long table to watch the two-on-two beer pong game that was in progress.

On one side of the table against one of the walls, Rae noticed Chloe and Izzy watching the beer pong game with rapt attention and when she met eyes with them she and Archie walked over to join them.

“There you two are, we’ve been standing awkwardly by the couch for the last 30 minutes trying to figure out where everyone went!” Rae replied with a laugh.

“Sorry about that,” Izzy replied, “I was inside a bit earlier, but Chloe dragged me out here to watch the beer pong game.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know you were such a big fan of cliché drinking games, Chloe!”

“I’m not, but I am a fan of the ass on that boy right over there,” Chloe replied with a smirk as she nodded her head towards one of the beer pong players that was bending over to pick up the rogue ping pong ball that had bounced off of the table.

“These four lads pretty much always have a beer pong rematch at all of these parties. Neither team is particularly good at beer pong, but they have a lot of fun with it and they’re not too hard on the eyes.”

Rae chuckled and gave each of the players a once over, stopping only when the lad Chloe had pointed out noticed her looking at them with curiosity and shot her a friendly smile.

“Hey Archie!” he called when he noticed Archie standing along the wall beside Rae.

“How’s it going, David?” Archie called back in response.

“Pretty good. Eddie and I aren’t doing so well this round, but I think we can come back and beat Blue and his mate,” David replied before returning his focus back to the beer pong game.

“Ah, so you know ‘David’...hmm, interesting…”

“It’s not like that, I swear. We used to have the same Ancient Civilizations lecture together, so we got to know each other a bit. His mate Blue on the other hand…” Archie trailed off with a smirk.

“Blue? Is that like a nickname or what?”

“Nope! Not a nickname. He’s the one in the black shirt on the other team. He’s a pretty cool guy and I’ve never really spoken to him too much, but I’m fairly certain that I’m going to marry him.” Archie whispered in reply, making Rae laugh loudly.

“Hey, my throw wasn’t that bad! You don’t have to laugh!” Blue called out to Rae with a laugh.

“Sorry! I wasn’t laughing at you, I swear. My mate just told me something funny.”

“You don’t have to lie to spare his feelings, love. How about I show you how a real man sinks a throw,” David replied cockily only to miss the cup he was aiming for entirely.

The game continued in much the same fashion for a while--each team seldom gaining any points despite the amount of shit-talking going on--and before long both teams were tied and struggling to break the tie in order to officially end the game.

“Hey, Chloe! Are you any good?” David’s beer pong partner asked as he nodded his head towards the beer pong table.

“Yeah, Chloe is pretty good at handling balls,” Rae joked under her breath as she leaned towards Archie so only he heard.

“So, it looks like Chloe’s mate has jokes. Come on over here and we’ll see who’s laughing then,” David’s partner quipped.

“What are ya doing, Eddie?”

“I want this game over as soon as possible and we’re not really getting anywhere with just us four, so I thought maybe we could use a celebrity shot as the tie-breaker. Is that alright with you?”

“Ah, good idea. We can let the ladies choose which team they want to represent though.”

“I’ll be on David’s team,” Chloe called out as she walked towards the end of the table where he and his partner stood.

“Perfect, it looks like you’re going to be playing for our team. My name is Blue, by the way,” he replied with a wide smile.

“I’m Rae,” she replied as she picked up the ping pong ball from Blue’s outstretched hand.

“Alright ladies, I’m going to take a leap and assume that you both know the basic rules of beer pong,” David said and waited a moment for both Rae and Chloe to nod in agreement, “so the rules for a celebrity shot is pretty simple: you each go one at a time trying to land a ping pong ball into a cup. The first one to make their shot wins for their team. You’ll both just keep going back and forth until one of you makes their shot. Sound good?”

Both Rae and Chloe agreed and they flipped a coin to determine who would be up first to take their shot.

Chloe was up first, so she stepped up to the table and tossed her ping pong towards the cup she was aiming for. When the ball clipped the edge of the cup and bounced out, the entire crowd groaned in sympathy.

“It was so fucking close!” Chloe complained, “Alright, Rae-Rae...your turn now!”

Rae stepped up to the table with wide eyes and began trying to plan out which cup to aim for. Blue rest a hand on her shoulder and gave her a final shoulder squeeze of encouragement before stepping aside to let her take the shot.

Rae got into position to make her shot and took a slow, steadying breath before closing her eyes and tossing the ball across the table.

It wasn’t until the loud cheers and chanting began that Rae opened her eyes and realized she had sunk the small plastic ball in the opponent’s cup, making her and Blue’s team the winning team.

“You, my dear, are a total badass!” Blue said as he lifted both his hands up to give Rae congratulatory high-fives on their shared victory, “If you ever want a partner to play beer pong with, just let me know!”

Rae laughed and returned the high fives as he walked away to join his friends who were currently walking back into the house through the back door.

“Go Rae! That was great!”

“Oh, it was nothing really! Just beginner’s luck, I’m sure—!”

Rae gasped mid-sentence when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind and someone rest their chin on her shoulder.

“That’s my Rae! Always so humble even when she just kicked ass at beer pong and won the game for those guys!”

“Finn! There ya are! You can’t just go around sneaking up on me like that. When did you get here?”

“I was out back smoking a spliff with Chop and the lads, but I caught the tail-end of the game and saw you make the game-winning shot as if it was the easiest thing you’ve ever done,” Finn replied with a chuckle as he turned his face to give Rae a kiss on the cheek.

“Oi, get a room you two! Wait, this is my house! Don’t you dare go into my home and defile one of my rooms with your perverted behavior!” Chop joked as he approached the gang and scoffed at Rae and Finn who were still wrapped in an embrace.

“Fuck off, Chop!” Rae replied with a laugh as she removed Finn’s arms from where they had been wrapped around her torso and gave Chop a gentle shove in return.

“I’m actually going to get another beer. Can I get ya anything, Rae? Another cider, maybe?”

“Yes, please…actually I’m tired of cider. Can I get a cup of the Jungle Juice? Archer says it’s really good but really strong,” Rae said.

“Of course, love! I’ll be right back,” Finn said as he leaned to give Rae a peck on the cheek before walking back towards the house.

A few moments of silence passed with all of her friends giving her the same looks of judgement and surprise to varying degrees before the tension became too uncomfortable for Rae to put up with any longer.

“What are all of you staring at me for?”

“Don’t play dumb, Rae,” Chloe said, “you and Finn are acting awful close tonight. Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“Uh, no...?”

“So, you two aren’t a couple yet?” Izzy asked and if Rae didn’t know any better, she may have mistaken the slight drunken slur in her voice for being disappointment.

“Whoa, definitely not! He’s just…well, he’s Finn. We’re close, obviously, but not like that! I can’t believe you lot really thought that Finn and I are— “

“Fucking insane how many people show up to these parties, huh, Chop?” Finn said as soon as he walked out the back door of the house carrying his bottle of beer in one hand and a red plastic cup in the other.

“Thanks, Finnley,” Rae replied as she took the plastic cup from his hand and took a drink, cringing slightly at the potent and sugary mixture of alcohol.

“My pleasure, Rae! Do any of you know where James headed off to? I let him borrow my lighter and I want to make sure I get it back before I leave,” Finn replied as he took a swig of his bottle of beer.

“I think Blue and the rest of the guys who were playing beer pong went out to smoke with him, so maybe try there?” Chop replied as he gestured with his head towards the yard where people tended to gather to smoke.

As soon as Finn was out of earshot, all eyes turned back to Rae and she took a long drink from her cup to avoid meeting their eyes.

“Look Rae, we don’t want to pry or overstep our boundaries, but we really care about ya,” Archie began.

“Exactly! We’ve been telling you that we weren’t sure how the arrangement between the two of you was gonna work out, but we tried to keep an open mind,” Chloe continued.

“We just wanna make sure you’re happy and that you don’t get hurt in any way.” Izzy added with a nod.

“I appreciate that, really, but none of you have anything to worry about. Finn and I work surprisingly well together and I don’t regret it at all.”

“Even so, if he ever steps out of line or doesn’t fulfill his half of the deal, I’ll gladly kick Finn’s arse for you. I don’t care if he’s one of my best mates or not,” Chop added with a wide grin.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rae replied with a smile when she looked across the yard and saw Finn walking towards then holding his favorite purple lighter in the air triumphantly.

“I found it!” He said as he rejoined the group, “I’m actually planning on heading out of here now, I think.”

“Leaving already, Finney boy? You definitely aren’t the same wild teenager who could party on a weeknight and go to college the next morning without trouble that I used to know and envy, now are ya?”

“Fuck off, Chopper! I’m only leaving because I’m tired of looking at your ugly mug, actually!” Finn quipped before getting pulled into a playful headlock by Chop.

Rae finished drinking the last of her drink and walked the short distance to place her empty cup into the bin.

When she returned to the group, Finn was pulling his arms into his leather jacket and drinking the last of his beer.

“Are you ready to leave now too, Rae?”

“I think I am, yeah,”

“Alright, sounds good,” Finn turned towards the rest of the gang as they said their goodbyes and good nights before gripping Rae’s hand in his gently, “come on, Rae. Let’s head back home!”

Finn and Rae walked back into the house and through the party hand-in-hand as they made their way to the front of the house where Finn’s car was parked outside so they could go home together.

A/N: So I’m not sure if anyone recalls this or not, but I actually posted a preview of this chapter in December/January, long before I ever actually got started on working on this larger overall story or had a title for the multi-chapter that would eventually become The Good Life. This chapter is the longest that I’ve written for this story thus far, but hopefully y’all enjoy the additional 1000ish words and don’t hate how long the chapter is!

I’m still loving all the love that this story has received over the last weeks, so if you have liked/reblogged/replied to one or more chapters or have sent me messages saying how much you’re enjoying this story, just know that I appreciate you dearly. Until next time: Stay awesome, my friends! :)

[ravenvsfox]

If you're still taking prompts. What if Neil gets a concussion and starts mixing up his languages? I love your writing!

(thank you so much! I had so much fun writing this honestly also HEY apparently language based confusion post head trauma like.. doesn't happen lmao but lets suspend our disbelief y'all)

It’s USC’s new “problem player” who does it.

There’s a scrimmage for the ball in the last quarter, and Neil ends up bodychecked into plexiglass head-first. His helmet goes loose and bounces away before he hits the floor.

Neil’s 5’3” against the backliner’s 6’5” is like pitting an axe against the base of a tree. Neil’s legs quiver like wind through leaves, and then he’s cut down.

Andrew watches the whole thing unravel, the wind-up and the swing and the bounce. Neil topples onto his back with the brutality of a drop from a moving car, and he doesn’t get back up. There’s an awkward minute of shouting and buzzers and repetitive shrugging from the backliner. Andrew leaves goal just as Jeremy crosses the court to jab a finger in his teammate’s chest.

“We do not fight dirty like that! Jesus Christ Trent, If we’d taken that point from them the win would mean what?”

“Nothing,” the backliner replies glumly, eyes down. Andrew takes it as a prime opportunity to punch him across the jaw with his whole weight behind it.

The guy goes reeling, holding his face and looking down at Andrew with slack jawed disbelief — doubtless surprised to find someone half his size had just loosened a few teeth.

Andrew feels Kevin at his back, and Jeremy steadies Trent by the shoulder as he levels eyes at him. “Can’t we be civil for one game?”

Kevin shrugs, sickeningly sheepish. “You’re in fox territory.”

“How could I forget,” Jeremy says, eyes rolling. He says something else but Andrew’s already turning to find Neil, his unchecked injury like an oven left on - the niggling, panicking doubt of it.

Jean’s crouched at Neil’s side, speaking quietly and firmly with his eyebrows yanked together like pursestrings.

“Get away from him,” Andrew says, dizzy with anger. All the times Neil has defended Jean and the things he’d let Riko do surface and clash in Andrew’s head.

Jean looks up, unconcerned with Andrew’s warning. “Something is wrong.”

Andrew puts himself between Jean and Neil, stepping right where Jean’s hands are splayed out on the floor so that he recoils. He leans over Neil and watches his open eyes, the frost of confusion on them.

“Get up.”

Neil finds him, like he’s squinting through smoke. “Je ne peux pas.”

Andrew grabs his shoulders, unamused. “Try again.”

“It was something else a minute ago. Something slavic?” Jean says. Andrew ignores him.

“Andrew,” Neil says urgently, eyes bloodshot and unfixed. “Je suis fatigué.”

“Don’t sleep,” Andrew warns. He pulls Neil to his chest and drags him upright by his armpits.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Trent calls from a few feet away, his team congregating behind him like disappointed parents.

“We’re benching him for the next couple of games,” Jeremy adds seriously. “You deserve better.”

“You touch what’s mine again and you lose a hand,” Andrew says airily.

“Andrew,” Kevin says, mortified.

“I’m okay,” Neil says in choppy German. “I just can’t… gather my thoughts. I’m— what’s the word?” He says something else in french and frowns.

“Fine?” Nicky guesses, coming up behind them. He’s smiling as if at a sick child.

“Fine is “bien”, idiot,” Kevin says.

“It’s— loud,” Neil slurs in english. He looks sidelong at Andrew and says it again in Russian, like he can’t quite tell who speaks what anymore.

“Move,” Andrew says, and Kevin and Nicky clear the door of the court.

“Is he okay?” Matt asks worriedly from behind them. Andrew ignores him, busy with Neil’s weight pressed damply along his side, his quick mouth suddenly slow and scrambled.

“I just need to sit down,” Neil says in Russian, and Matt makes a confused noise that Andrew shuts the court door on.

Wymack and Abby are waiting along the benches and Andrew drags unimpressed eyes over them. It’s like an obstacle course of tested patience, and Neil is a handicap that gets heavier and more worrying the more he’s jostled.

“That’s one hell of a stupid backliner Knox’s got on his hands,” Wymack growls.

Neil swallows and nods and Andrew knows he’s trying to save face by ditching talking altogether.

“Neil sounds like Rosetta Stone threw up,” Andrew says mildly.

Neil looks sharply at him, not understanding the reference and assuming the worst, as usual.

“You don’t say,” Wymack says, mouth tense. “You think you got a concussion?”

Neil shakes his head, wincing.

“A yes or no would be great here,” Wymack says wryly, eyes flickering to Andrew and back again.

“Definitely not,” Neil says in english, voice garbled like his mouth is full of water.

“Well colour me convinced. Abby?” Wymack looks back at her and she nods, moving forward with her kit.

Andrew takes a step away from her, then another, and Neil sways with him.

“Come on,” Abby says, exasperated. “I need to do an exam.”

“I need to sit,” Neil says in German, and then he shakes his head, flinches with his whole face and shoulders, and says it again in english.

“We’ll do it in the team room, then,” Abby allows.

Andrew half-carries him all the way to the chairs inside the team room, letting him down onto the cushion and jamming himself in next to him.

“Are you going to let me touch him?” Abby says, and Andrew blinks at her.

“I’ve gotta get back,” Wymack interjects. “And so do you, Minyard.”

“Put Renee in goal.”

“I don’t know if—“

“I’m not doing your job for you,” Andrew says, tracking the movement of Abby’s hands feeling along Neil’s skull until he gasps. Andrew catches her wrist and Neil nudges him until he drops it.

“I don’t know why I bother,” Wymack says, levering the door back to the court open with unnecessary aggression.

The room goes silent without him, a tense duo who can’t or won’t talk, and Abby too focused to care.

She leans in to shine a slim flashlight in Neil’s eyes, watching his pupils. Andrew’s skin pricks at her proximity, but he’s not leaving Neil’s back unwatched.

“Do you know who you are? Full name?”

“Neil Josten,” Neil says without hesitation. Figures that he would know that in instant, unflinching English, like a beacon in a storm.

“And mine?” Abby asks.

“Abby—” Neil cuts off, and his mouth stays jarringly open as he searches for her last name. “Winfield. Pardon.”

“And we are where?”

“The court,” Neil says.

Abby’s mouth quirks. “A little more specific.”

“Team room. The Foxhole Court. Palmetto State University. South Carolina, the United—”

“Okay, okay,” Abby laughs. “Smart mouth isn’t broken, at least.”

“Is that your professional opinion?” Neil says, Russian again, and Andrew snaps a look at him to find his face shattered with disappointment.

“Now that’s weird,” Abby says. “You sure you’re not messing with us?”

Neil looks flatly at her and she twitches a smile at him.

“Sort of like transient global amnesia,” she muses. “ But much more localized. Like the language centre in your brain got rattled.”

“Fix it,” Andrew says. She frowns, looking between them.

“I can’t exactly reach in there and move things back where they should be. The brain is funny, but resilient. I’d give him a couple of hours before I worry. He seems alert enough. It should sort itself out.”

“‘The brain is funny’,” Andrew repeats. “Is that the best medical diagnosis you can produce?”

“Yes,” Abby says icily. “Keep him focused. I’m going back out there.” She packs up her kit and rises from the floor, squeezing Neil’s knee as she does. “I’m next door if you need me.”

She walks out and Andrew slips from the chair so he’s crouching in front of Neil instead. Their eyes meet, and Neil holds out one hand, offering. Andrew ignores it and reaches up for Neil’s neck instead, hands roving to the swelling back of his head.

“You should learn how to fasten a helmet.”

“Maybe Trent should learn how to play Exy,” Neil says darkly.

Andrew brings Neil’s face down with a lazy push at the base of his skull. “That was English.”

Neil considers this, watching Andrew manhandling his injury. “What if I’m broken for good?” he asks.

“Weren’t you already?” Andrew says, and Neil knocks their foreheads together lightly, reprimanding. He leans in further, and Andrew rocks back on his heels.

“No,” he says firmly. Neil nods, but his eyes have that curtain of confusion draped all over them again. “You’re concussed.”

“I ‘seem alert’,” Neil reminds him. Andrew pushes the centre of his chest until he’s sitting back in the chair.

“That’s not enough.”

They listen to the crowd outside, and Andrew feels Neil get more and more antsy the longer they sit there, the hollow din of cheers and squeaking shoes turning his ear.

The initial adrenaline is diffusing, but Andrew’s fists clench in his lap the more he thinks about Neil’s unsolved maze of a face, the arc of his body as he hit the boards. The threat of a garbled language centre would have meant death for Neil two years ago. It shows on his face.

The game clearly ends when the applause hits the ceiling and Neil tries to stand, only barely contained by Andrew’s hands on his shoulders.

“Can’t we check who won?”

“I’m sure they’ll see fit to tell you,” Andrew says, already bored by the idea.

Sure enough, the foxes roll in on a high of celebration five minutes later, both of Dan’s arms squeezed around Renee’s shoulders, Nicky trying to get Kevin to smile.

“We won the game for you, buddy!” Matt says, and everything on Neil’s face transforms, like he ran himself to exhaustion and happily woke up to find his body dragged over the finish line.

“We heard you were speaking in tongues,” Allison says, and Neil opens his mouth to protest, but loses his confidence at the last second, and his breath leaves him. Allison raises an eyebrow. “That’s a first. Nothing to say?”

“Don’t make fun of his disability,” Nicky says, and he leans down, gaze ping-ponging between Neil’s eyes. “Can you understand me?”

Neil rolls his eyes. “Unfortunately,” he says in German. Nicky opens his mouth to protest, but Dan cuts in.

“Anyway,” she says pointedly. “We fucking killed ‘em. Renee basically locked them out, it was amazing.”

Renee flushes happily. “Andrew did 90% of the work. I just had to hold it down.”

Andrew lets the compliment slip past him like the stream of a current. He’s more focused on Neil’s unusual silence, like the dam trapping that current.

“You missed the dirtiest pass Kevin’s ever done,” Nicky says, sitting cross-legged on the table and leaning in eagerly. “Kevin “Risk Scares the Fuck Out of Me” Day—“

“You guys trying to confuse him with all this noise?” Wymack says from the doorway, arms crossed.

Neil says something in pristine french, and Kevin rolls his eyes. “He’s not confused, apparently.”

“I’m not,” Neil reiterates in English. “And I don’t need a translator.”

“This isn’t any kind of condition I’ve ever read about,” Aaron says. “Are you sure you’re not making things up again?”

Bitterness floods Andrew’s mouth. Accusing people of faking is never going to stop being an act of violence, to him. “He’s not creative enough for that,” he tells Aaron, as detached as he can stomach.

“Christ, way to tag-team him,” Matt says, visibly upset. “You guys can’t even lay off after a traumatic head injury?”

“I dunno,” Allison says. “Tag-teaming. Twins. He could do worse.”

“Allison,” Neil warns.

“What, is wordplay too much for your bruised brain to understand?”

“That’s enough,” Wymack orders. “We’re done here. Wash up, pack up. Harass your strikers again tomorrow.”

The brittle mood in the room shatters, and the foxes march past Neil to the change rooms. A couple of them squeeze his shoulder or touch his face on their way past.

“And Neil,” Wymack says, pausing on his way to his office. “Ice that head. We need you.”

Neil nods, and Coach taps on the doorway, a final awkward gesture before he goes.

Neil catches Andrew’s eye again in the newly empty room, and he smirks. “You need me.”

Andrew doesn’t respond, and Neil’s eyes widen. He scoots forward in his chair so that he’s in Andrew’s space, smelling overwhelmingly of soap and sweat. “Hey. I actually did need you, today,” Neil says in quiet Russian, and Andrew doesn’t look at him. Can’t.

“You lost your English again.”

“No,” Neil says, eyes low, mouth parting. “That was for you.”

[confessiontf2]

what happened with overwatch? What's your damage? I mean that in a good way... like i mean what happened to make you so annoyed im curious nothing harm meant by asking but dont answer if you dont want to

You want the honest to god truth about my opinion on Overwatch? Here we go.

Under cut.

First of all I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so angry with a game to the point of tears except for TF2 BUT ONLY BECAUSE A BUNCH OF FRIENDS WERE GANGING UP ON ME, other than that I just get annoyed sometimes at most but Overwatch has made me so fucking angry to the point I’m literally trying not to cry I’m that angry. I just want to beat the shit out of everything.

Now let me get something straight, I like and will still continue to like the concept of Overwatch. The comics, the characters, the lore, I’ll still be into that cause it’s cool, just like there’s many people in the TF2 fandom who do not play the game but probably know more about the game than I myself do. 

I however am completely done with the game and its the first time I can honestly say I find something cancerous.

Where do I begin?

Well it shows that this is clearly the first time Blizzard made a fucking FPS because it’s so goddamn broken. The game mechanics are broken, the characters game play themselves are broken. Like for example, Blizzard has this favor the shooter bullshit, right? So how this shit works is that if someone is lagging slightly, they see you in front of a wall, okay? Imagine this, you are actually behind the wall, but on their screen because they are lagging, you are not behind the wall. Because of how favor the shooter works they shoot you and the game registers it and suddenly you’re dead because they basically shot through a wall due to this. I have had multiple times where I know very well I am behind the goddamn wall but when I watch the feedback replay, It shows me not behind the wall. This also means it places you in areas you were not standing. I should mention I have a high connection speed which results in very low ping so it is not me lagging, which confirms that favor the shooter is bullshit, because again if someone is lagging they actually have the advantage over someone who has a lower ping. 

Blizzard should of done like everyone else and had the server decided if someone is hit or not not the user’s game clients telling the server they hit. Also I’ve never actually seen favor the shooter work in my favor, presumably because I have high ping and can actually see people lag and rubber band, and actually register correctly if they are behind a wall or something.

Next? Community. I gotta be honest I think the community is actually more Toxic than the TF2, the only place I’ve actually met toxic people is on community servers but for official servers I don’t really run into that many. You find salty, mean and rude people all the time on Overwatch and that is to be expected because these are more than likely the same people who either play COD or any of Blizzard’s other games and Blizzard in general is known for having really bad fanboys and the like. 

It’s not just that though, look at the fucking discourse that happens in terms of fandom over Overwatch. It makes me so mad. We’ve had issue in TF2 sure, but not to this extent. People fucking complaining and jumping the gun because there was a bug in Mei’s new skin that caused her to look a bit skinnier than normal, people getting upset that Mei isn’t larger. People are always trying to be fucking problematic with this game, claiming stuff like I’ve seen one post where someone claimed the whole CNY event was racist basically claiming white people can’t take part in Chinese culture, not to mention people saying blizzard is racist in not having enough representation in general, saying they are sexist etc. Blizzard is not sexist or Racist, I’ll give them that. I mean I’m still kinda questioning shit like the Indian head dresses for Heavy and Soldier, but like Blizzard hasn’t really done anything that is noticible in that regard, but people bitch anyway. I’m sick of their bitching tbh and the stupidity, I just can’t take it.

I also have issues with the characters themselves in terms of their game play. This is just a select few I’m going to go into detail with but there’s issues with all the characters.

Hanzo - His hit boxes are literally the size of a truck. I’ve seen him hit my foot and get a head shot, I’ve done it myself. He’s a sniper you’re suppose to aim for the head. Couple this with favor the shooter and we have a complete fucking mess because they can miss your head by a mile but again hit boxes the size of a truck and the player as Hanzo gets a head shot.

Mei - Probably the worst fucking mechanic I’ve seen in a high speed action filled FPS. This character has an attack that freezes you solid, slowing you down first, and prevents you from moving. On top of this the girl can shoot an ice spike directly into your head up close and you can’t do anything but sit there and watch it happen, oh but it gets better, Mei can also drain your health while she is freezing you. You’re down half health on most heroes by the time you’re frozen, and she gets a FREE head shot which is a crit and will be an instant kill on most heroes. There is an in game tip to fight Mei from long range and that tip pisses me the fuck off every time I see it because yes, her freezing is short range, but, MEI CAN SNIPE. SHE IS NOT A SNIPER, SHE’S A DEFENSE, SHES ALMOST A TANK. I’ve seen people play Mei and headshot me across the map, what was that about fighting long range?

Symmetra - Yes she needed a buff but not in the way Blizzard did it. This girl has a useless secondary attack that goes too fucking slow to do anything but play fucking pong between two Genjis in a custom game, and her primary has such an insane damage output she can out damage a Mercy’s healing. Picture this, I was playing as D.va. D.va has 600 hp, a Mercy was healing me. Without any extra turrets or anything Symmetra locked on to me (did I mention her attack cant just lock onto you and has a fucking 7 meter range?) and out damaged Mercy’s healing and killed the both of us because once she was done with my mech she had a damage ampt up. Yep that’s right the more she attacks the higher her damage. D.va has 150 hp without her mech. Symm just came and tapped me after dealing with my mec and instantly killed me and my Mercy. It was no time frame in between.Literally one single touch and we were both dead. How is that balanced?

I’d also like to point out how bullshit Overwatch is with nerfing characters. The characters I mentioned above need to be tweaked because yes what I described was bullshit,  and y’know what? There’s a character in this game named Mccree, Jessie Mccree. Okay so this cowboy, maybe some of you know him, Blizzard decided “huh, Mccree is doing an awful lot of damage, maybe we should nerf that. He’s also sniping and has too long of a range so let’s give him a damage fall off because he’s not a sniper.” Alright fair enough, BUT WHAT ABOUT MEI AND SYMM? THEY CAN DO ALL THAT YOU JUST NERFED MCCREE FOR. Like seriously.

Also Blizzard has these things called Lootboxes, they are like the cosmetic crates in TF2 but you earn them with levels and they are free to open, no keys or anything like TF2, but there’s a catch.

They are free because there’s shit all in them and it’s impossible to get good shit out of them unless you grind your fucking life away. I have opened 20 fucking Lootboxes in the span of last night and today, and I have yet to get anything good for the current CNY event, aside from sprays and voice lines. No sign of a skin or an emote and I’m not even getting any of the basic shit from the regular lootbox sets. You’d think you’d only get the CNY stuff in the CNY lootboxes but no, you get regular shit and if you’re lucky CNY loot boxes. At least with TF2 if you open the right case, you’re garenteed something cosmetic for your money, in Overwatch you are not and voice lines and sprays are kinda fucking shit.

And on top of this lootbox shit, if you want 3 free lootboxes every 5 days you have to play some sort of game from the Arcade Mode, not the Quick Play. Here’s the thing though... All the Arcade modes suck, its almost impossible to find a good team to win because people fuck around in Overwatch when it comes to actually trying and winning worst than they do in TF2, and in order to get these 3 lootboxes you don’t need to just play 9 arcade games, no, you need to fucking WIN 9 arcade games and every 3 wins you get a fucking box. And let me tell you with the mentality of the players, it’s almost fucking impossible to win. I’ve been 2 goddamn days trying to win 9 fucking Arcade games and I’m 1 win away from my next lootbox and thats when I realized I’m giving the fuck up on this game cause fuck this bullshit.

And again the toxic people come in. “Play quick play.” They say but here’s the thing I FUCKING WOULD PLAY QUICK PLAY IF QUICK PLAY GAVE YOU 3 FUCKING LOOTBOXES EVERY 9 WINS. I’m only playing Arcade to get the lootboxes because I refuse to fucking spend money on these things cause buying them does not increase the chances of getting anything good out of them. It’s a waste of fucking money. Like there’s no reason why Blizzard can’t either put in a 3 lootbox thing in quick play or make it so you just have to play 9 games and not matter if you win or loose the games.

and I’m telling you. Unless you get a group of 6 players, which I do not have most times because I don’t have that many friends, you will not win a single fucking game only by chance if you are playing solo because people fuck around like you wouldn’t believe.

“We need a tank? goes genji.” Like it’s literally worse and more cancerous than tf2 because tf2 you can work indipendant of your team and still win, but since Overwatch is a team game, when people refuse to work as a team, as most people tend to do, it’s fucking horrible. You will not win.

Also people don’t know how to take out fucking sentries like, it’s worse than tf2 cause in tf2 people know how to deal with them. The minute the enemy puts down a sentry or turret the game is lost, I mean I know how to take them out but I try and take them out but then no one goes for the point and its just a waste of my time and we loose because players are idiots. I cannot handle the level of idiots that is in Overwatch and you can’t just keep trying until you win because there’s strict time limits on everything in Overwatch even capture the flag. At least in TF2 if nothing is working you can still defend until everyone gets bored and just rack up kills. 

This game just makes me so fucking angry like you wouldn’t believe, and after today and what bullshit I had to deal with today I can finally say that I am fucking done with the game. I still like the fandom related content like art and stuff, and the characters, I mean I hated on Symm and Meis gameplay the most but I like both of them as characters, but I will probably never play this game again except once in a blue moon because there’s too much bullshit to deal with.

With that said, I have business to attend to in Tuefort.

*Magic*