#so heartbreaking i even started to cry in front of my mom for the 2nd time as an adult (she was shocked)

[entropys]

today was a roller coaster lol

[divinefireangel]

They Just Don't Know You

Soft Yandere! Seo Moon-Jo x F! Reader

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: A 2nd longer fic for our lovely cannibalistic psychopath. I hate that I'm attracted to him. Someone please be my therapist. Or psychiatrist. Honestly doesn't matter. My brain is fucked anyway.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 16+ and written for female reader, but all can read. (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). Except that I've mentioned reader is short, cuz LDW is tall 🥰. There is a brief mention of sex, but no actual smut. Reader kinda highkey hates on her parents and younger sister. Read it to know. Age gap between reader and Moon-Jo. Slight obsessive thoughts. Manipulative words. I tried to put plot twist in the end, probably you won't notice it 💀. Please please tell me if I need to add more warnings. Do not read if you start to feel uncomfortable. I apologize in advance 🥺

❗❗PLEASE READ WARNINGS ❗❗

Pre-Requisite / Summary: Just a fic based on the song They Just Don't Know You by Little Mix. After watching Strangers from hell I related this song to him for some reason. Reader and Moon-Jo are in an established relationship. And reader's loved ones don't approve.

2.3k ish words My longest fic till date 🥳

" You know that he's too old for you. You can settle for younger, much younger guys for your age sweetheart. If you can't find anyone eligible enough, we will find one for you. And you don't even know if he has intentions of marrying you. What if all he wants is just a fling or some time pass relationship. Hmm? What are you going to do then? "

Sipping her tea silently, Y/N sat next to her dad on the porch swing, listening to all the criticisms he had about Moon-Jo. All his words did was boil her blood. But what could she do when they don't walk in her shoes? They don't know how safe and content she feels when he kisses her like she's the only girl for him in the entire universe. And no point in explaining that to her father anyway. She's tried. And failed. Multiple times.

"Are you done with your tea?" She asks her dad, in desperate attempt to try and get away from him and his words because she knows, and even he knows that it's going to end up in a fight if they continue to speak on the same topic.

Humming yes, he hands her his tea cup which she takes to the kitchen so she can help her mom with dinner. Placing them in the sink upon entering the kitchen, Y/N drags her palms down her face in frustration.

" I could hear what he said you know. Your dad. He's not wrong. Seo Moon-Jo seems like he'll break your heart in three. And we're only looking out for you Y/N. You don't have to go through heartbreak when you can very well avoid it." Her mom finished slowly.

" Why. Why is it so difficult for you to accept the fact that I'm actually in a happy relationship for once in my life. So what if he's much older than I am? He's a dentist. A doctor. A very good profession and he's known and well respected in his neighbourhood too. " Y/N said loud enough for her dad also to hear.

Huffing in annoyance she left the kitchen to go upstairs to her room. Or rather the room she shares with her sister. Of course the door is wide open. The younger rascal is always here for the drama.

Ever since Y/N came out to her family about her relationship with Moon-Jo, her sister has become the favourite child, for obvious reasons. And now eavesdropping with the door wide open? That's a new low. But what else can Y/N expect from such a low life who is literally thriving off her own sister's pain and suffering.

When entering the room, Y/N realizes how big a mistake it was to visit her family. And she did not need such snark from a younger, less experienced child.

"Are you that blinded by " Love " that you don't even see how weird his hair is? A man who isn't an idol or actor doesn't need such long hair. He's clearly a fuckboy. Or man whore. Whichever is right. " She said with disgust.

'She's just jealous. She's just a jealous bitch. They all are.' Y/N thinks to herself.

" At least one of us gets laid regularly. And just so you know, it's absolutely heavenly when he makes me cum over and over on his fingers and his dick-" Y/N said as her tone slowly got lower and darker and her emotion angrier.

Screaming and covering her ears, the younger girl ran downstairs to her mother, no doubt to tattle on her older sister. Rolling her eyes, Y/N started packing her things, all of them, in a bag she took down from the top shelf of the wardrobe.

It's really difficult to leave one's family, but it is clearly getting more and more tiresome to love them nowadays. If it's so wrong to date him, why does Y/N herself not see it? She's a logical and smart young lady. Does her family hate that man so much that they don't even want her to be happy? No matter who she's with. And is it so bad to date a man who's older? Richer? And cares more about her than all of her family members combined?

Wiping the fallen tear stains from her cheek, she just thinks to herself ' They just don't know him. They just don't know him like I do. '

Sending a text to her lover, saying that she misses him and that she's coming back home sooner than planned, Y/N carries her bag through the front door, her parents and sister ignoring her as she leaves and walks out that door one final time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once reaching their shared apartment, Y/N collapsed into her lover's arms the moment he opens the door, crying her eyes out. Seeing his lover in turmoil, shedding a tear or two of his own, Moon-Jo carries her to the living room couch to cradle her like a child who needs attention.

" They- They said -"

" Shh my darling. I know. " Moon-Jo said, shushing his girlfriend and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Once she's calmed a little, her sobs turning to sniffs, she lifts her head to meet his gaze.

Seeing her sad, tear stained eyes always upset him. More than anything in the world. Running his long slender fingers across her cheeks and jaw, he removes her hair from her ponytail with his free hand and rests it on her thigh.

" Tell me. Please tell me that you won't break my heart like them. That you won't try to tear my world apart like them. " Y/N looked desperately at him, wanting so badly to know that he's not just using her.

Those words, that slipped out her mouth, shocked Moon-Jo, to say the least. What did he do wrong? What did her family fill her head with?

Tilting his head to a little, he looks into her red eyes, trying to read her mind for a moment, all the while she just looked at him with the same desperate expression.

"Please tell me that you will be there when I need you the most. " Y/N whispered so softly, she herself barely heard it. But the end of the sentence, she started crying all over again.

Taking her head to his neck, he stroked her hair and her sides, trying to calm her down.

" Darling. I promise with my everything, that I will never leave you, I will never ever let you go. That I will do anything, anything necessary to prove my love to you. "

"No, oh dear no. That's not, you don't have- have to do anything at all to make me believe you love me. I'm sorry I asked such a stupid question. " She sobbed out.

Shushing her softly again, he rocks their bodies back and forth, till she's calmed and fallen asleep there, in his arms. Knowing that his arms are her only safe place for her from now on, he takes her delicate figure to the bedroom.

Placing her on her side of the bed, he lays down on his. Staring at her stunning face, he feather touches her face with his fingertips, memorizing every curve, every little detail on her, like a sculptor admiring his work and giving it the finishing touches.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" So, I did a little digging on your sugar daddy. "

" Why?! And he's not my sugar daddy. " Y/N said in disbelief. No. Not her dear best friend too.

" I know you said not to and I'm sorry. But I am worried about you. He made you leave your family Y/N. " They stated with worry and sympathy.

" No. He didn't make me leave them. I left them by choice. They don't see him like I do. And clearly, they hate that I'm happy with him. " Y/N finished as they sat down at the lunch table.

" Y/N..... "

" What? Even you don't want me to be happy? " She questioned her friend in disbelief. Laughing sarcastically Y/N shook her head.

" I've heard rumours! Okay? He was in the orphanage that had that severe fire explosion. And most of the culprits from that incident are MIA. What if he's one of the people who caused it?! " They said in a whisper, worried that the neighbouring people can hear their conversation.

" Do you really think that? All of that is just a rumour. And he's told me about it. He's told me everything. Unlike my parents who so desperately tried to tie me down to an arranged marriage. "

" He's not good for you. I know you deserve better. Okay he may make happy and all but what if he leaves? What if he just uses you and drops you like you were nothing? We're just trying to make sure you don't get hurt Y/N. Physically and emotionally. " They finished.

" This, all what you said, is cheap talk. But it'll eventually wear down because when we get married and have kids and all that in the future, you're all going to look like fools. And I will proudly say ' I told you so '. "

" If that's the case then I am the happiest person for you. Hopefully I won't have to be the one to say ' I told you so'. "

" Wow. I, just- hah. Wow. Just wow. " She paused.

" You know, I really hoped you would be more supportive or at least tolerant enough to have patience and support me with my decision for my love. " Y/N said loud enough for eavesdroppers to hear audibly.

Of all the people she would have to drop, never even in her nightmares had she fathomed that her best friend would be one.

Getting up from the table, she picks up her bag and leaves without another word, and goes to the only place that has love for her and that accepts her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reaching home, Y/N notices the place empty. Maybe he's at the clinic?

Shrugging off her bag and jacket she sits on the couch for a moment, before her restlessness takes over and she begins pacing in the living room.

Why are people being like this? Do they hate her so much? They barely know him. Why are they treating and accusing him to be such a criminal! He's not. He takes care of Y/N so much. He loves her so much. He provides for her. He's affectionate with her, more than he's told he thought capable. He's become her ride or die. And she, his.

They don't know him like I do. They will never love me like he does.

They don't know about the love they have. The just see what they want to see. Bloody society dictating whom to love and whom to not. Is it so hard to see the love they have for each other? Can't they just let it be. They don't know the turmoil she's gone through recently; they don't know how well he's taken care of her, kept her happy and same enough to not let her intrusive thoughts get the best of her.

Her thoughts interrupted by the door clicking open. Smiling, Moon-Jo enters with a box, surely containing sweets from her favourite bakery. How can you not love someone so considerate, who does things for you without even having to ask.

Seeing the sad look upon his lover's face, Moon-Jo's smile fades into a frown.

" What's wrong my dear? "

Smiling sadly Y/N just shakes her head, conveying that she doesn't want to talk about it.

Placing the box of sweets on the coffee table, the two hug each other, feeling of comfort taking over them both. She can just stay here, forever, in his arms till the world ends.

" Babe. What's wrong? You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I'll take care of the problem. " Delicately Moon-Jo cradles Y/N's head in his palms, making her face up to him, their height difference evident.

Sighing, she moves to sit on the couch, motioning him to do the same. " It's just people. And what they say. My family was one thing, but my best friend, the person I chose as my family " Pausing Y/N breathers the tears back in, " They were doubtful of you today. How can I live knowing that no one will approve of us? " Y/N questioned looking at him.

" Does their opinion really matter that much? So much so that you are skeptical of my affection to you? " Coldly, he moved back from his seat on the couch.

" No! No. Gosh that is not what I mean. Not at all. I love you and I know that you love me. So much. So much so I would die for you. But there are other people whom I care about. Who's opinions matter to me. And I don't want to let them go. As happy as I am with you, I need them too. They give me joy in a different way, that is important. "

" Do I not make you happy? Are you not content with the love I give you? Is it not enough? " He asks carefully.

" That's not what I meant! You love me more than anyone I've known. "

"Then what's the problem? You don't need those people who don't love you. You have me. You will have me forever and ever. I will never leave you. And you will never leave me either. We'll be with each other till the end of the world darling. "

Nodding with a small smile you looked down at your feet.

Unhappy with your action, Moon-Jo pulls your face up by your chin to look at him with such force, it scared you a little, making your heart skip a beat in fear.

" Do you not love me, babe? " He asked tilting his head to a side, his expression mildly offended.

" I do! I love you. So much. " You finished with a soft tone, cupping his face with your hands.

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat, Moon-Jo leaned down to capture your lips with his. Reacting immediately, you kissed him with as much energy and sincerity you could muster, as you head filled with thoughts of doubt.

Had your parents been right? Had for friend been right? Had they all been right all along and you too blind to see?

No. It can't be. He loves you. He's said that so many times. And you love him.

You love him.

You.

Love.

Him.

...

Do you love him, or have you been illusioned into loving him?

[n0wornever]

Best Friends Who Kiss? - Luke Patterson x Reader

“Can you make one where I’m best friends with Luke and everyone else (But little does Luke know I actually love him, everyone else can see it, but him.) I’ve liked him almost all my life...”

(This is the least amount of dialogue I’ve written in awhile, but with the way that it was requested, this style just felt right. let me know if you hate this style?)

It started out at recess in 2nd grade. She sat on the swings alone when he approached her, sitting in the adjacent seat. She looked up and smiled at him, and he, toothless and all, introduced himself to her.

“I’m Luke.” 

After that, she was there through all of his fights with his mom, all of the ego-driven fights he had with Bobby over creative rights to their band's music, and the heartbreak over girls she barely knew. He was there through for her through all the trauma that came with her dad’s anger issues, her lackluster love life stories, and her frustration stemming from her art and her lack of confidence.

The rest was history. Quite literally after the accident. There was one thing that was for certain, that Y/N’s feelings for Luke stayed the same in life and death. His were a little less clear. After entering the world of 2020, they met Julie and she saw a spark in him that she had missed, even when he was playing with Bobby and the boys.

Luke started playing the guitar and singing back up vocals for Julie with the band, and the fire in his eyes was rekindled. Sometimes she sat in on rehearsals, but most of the time Luke was so preoccupied he didn’t even really speak to her the entire time she was there.

She started leaving a little earlier every day before rehearsal ended, making her way back to the park where they met in hopes that he’d join her. He never did, but she’d sit in the swing for a while and think about him and different moments between them.

Like the time when they were 11 and they were riding bikes when Luke fell and broke his arm in two places. She remembered him pointing to her in the emergency room and demanding that she was in the room with him, otherwise, he wouldn’t go in. He got his way and she sat next to him for hours during the stay.

Or when they were 14 and Luke had his first real date that ended in disaster. He showed up on her front porch that night because he just “wanted to hear her voice” and tell her all about the tragic events. That was the night that he told her that he didn’t think anyone would ever get him the way she did. She remembered her heart fluttering at those words.

Nothing ever happened between them though, and she was convinced now that even when her emotions got the best of her, Luke’s feelings were always platonic. She watched him sway and sing with Julie with this look of admiration she hadn’t ever seen before. Their voices and energies blending so seamlessly. Julie was so kind she couldn’t even find it in her heart to get angry at her. After they visited the nightclub the day of Julie’s performance she was certain that she had to make a decision. Caleb had an offer that wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be better than wallowing in self-pity every single day and masquerading as a part of a group that didn’t even recognize when she left. 

She knew the boys could fight it, but she wasn’t even sure she wanted to at this point. So tonight, she was going to do it. She was going to meet up with Caleb and accept his offer.

She grabbed her coat that was left behind in the garage when she saw one of Luke’s old flannels spread out on the couch. She grabbed it, placing it over her body before putting on her jacket. She looked around the room once more before poofing out the of the room.

The boys reentered the space after a late-night exploring, hyped on adrenaline. He spun around, looking for a nightlight or a slight lull of music that would let him know that Y/N was home. When he saw neither he began to pace around the room.

Alex stopped him in his tracks, looking at him with wide eyes “Woah, Luke chill what is going on?”

He looked up at his friend with tears raising in his eyes “Where is Y/N, you don’t think she went back to talk to Caleb, do you?”

Alex shook his head, squeezing his bandmate’s shoulders “Breath, we have no clue if that’s where she went, let’s not go all doomsday before we think about our options.

Luke nodded, trying to swallow with the knot in his throat. “She loves the beach…but it scares her to be alone there at night, even as a ghost.” He thought about it some more “She loves that record shop on 3rd…but she….wait.”

He stopped and looked at all of his friends in the dim light that sent a spotlight into the center of the room. “You guys stay here, I think I know where she is.” He left the room in a snap, transporting himself to a familiar swingset. There she sat on the swing, twirling the chains above her until she let them go and spun around quickly. A light smile fell onto her face but fell quickly as she landed at a standstill.

He was slow in his movements, inching quietly into the woodchips and sitting down without making a sound. She heard the jingling of the chains next to her and looked over panicked.

“Hey,” he said quietly, watching her face settle as her eyes met his

“Hi,” She gave him a weak smile before diverting her gaze to the stars. 

“Please tell me that you’re here nostalgia's sake and not because you’re thinking about what I think you are…” He started, pumping his legs back and forth to bring himself into the air.

“I…I don’t know.” 

He slowed, slamming his feet to the ground before facing her “You’re really just going to up and leave me, after all these years? You didn’t think I deserved an explanation? At least a goodbye? Y/N, I thought we knew each other better than that”

She sighed, leaning against the cold metal as she let tears softly fall down her cheeks. She finally makes eye contact with him again, shaking her head at him.

“Like you’d even notice I was gone, Luke.”

He was silent.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really like Julie and I think that she has made you a better musician… but you’ve replaced me and don’t even try to deny it. Reggie and Alex even forget that I live in the garage too half of the time. I’m like a ghost among ghosts, who even knew that was possible?!” 

Her eyes fixed on the ground below her, she wanted to hear what he had to say. As he took a breath in, she shrunk a bit waiting for the worst.

“I….had no idea that you felt that way. I am, such an idiot. I haven’t even bothered to check in on you recently. Y/N I am so sorry.” She could hear his voice breaking and didn’t even need to look up to know that he was crying.

“It’s okay.”

He scoffed “Obviously it’s not fine when my best friend decides that disappearing into the night is a better option than being around me.”

She looked back up at him, shaking her head “That’s not what I meant Luke.” He stood up and walked over to her swing, standing in front of her. He leaned forward, inches away from her face. She felt her heart race at the proximity and the look in his eyes.

“Remember that night that I told you that you’re the only one who gets me?” She nodded, holding his gaze. “I meant that.”

She let the left side of her mouth raise a bit into a half-smile. Looking into his glossy eyes she got lost in so many times before, she didn’t know what to say. He didn’t wait for her to respond before continuing “I’m sorry I made you feel less than the most important person in my life because you are.”

She tried to speak but stopped her “Let me finish,” She nodded, letting him go on.

“I care about you so much, Y/N, and the fact that you even had to consider if that was true…it…” His voice shook a little as he took a breath in “It hurts a lot more than I could have ever expected.”

He got down on both knees in front of her to get at eye level. She bit down on her bottom lip as she looked at him, backlit by the moonlight and the street-lamps.

“I love you, Y/N.” 

She wiped her tears onto her sleeve before responding “I love you too, Luke” He grinned at her, grabbing her cheeks into his hands and leaning in to kiss her lips. The kiss was soft and sweet and short, but it was enough to make her feel like it was a summer day on this cold autumn night. When they pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers.

“Please come home with me, please stay.”

She looked into his eyes, feeling his thumbs rub her cheeks ever so slightly. She nodded. He smiled through his tears, standing up and extended his hand toward her. She took it and rose to meet him. They interlocked their hands and walked the long way home. 

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Tag list: @xplrreylo, @lovesanimals, @anythingandeverythingfandom, @crybabyddl, @oswin05, @joshy-obx, @lukeys-giggle, @bumbleberry-pie @kiss-themoongoodbye, @anythingandeverythingfandoms, @marinettepotterandplagg, @lolychu, @bathtimejish, @dasexydevitt13@musicconversedance ,@txrii, @bestdressedandstressed, @daisiesforlacey​ @carleywhittaker @epikskool

[kdacher]

Two Paths That Finally Meet: Chapter 1

Notes: Okay so it’s somewhat long and it doesn't mention the boys a whole lot but it has all background information that will help the story out later. Shoutout to @bunnyhopz2000 who came up with the idea and helped me come up with the plot :) Also, i will be using the hashtag 2PTFM so you can find all chapters there!

Ever since I was a baby, my life was picture perfect. Everything had always happened to go my way, well almost everything. I did happen to grow up without a dad as he passed away when I was only three years old in a work accident, and ever since then, it’s just been my mom and me. Like every other girl at my school, I lived in a massive house in Atherton, California, which, kind of made me fall into the typical rich, popular girl group.

At a young age, I fell in love with gymnastics, more specifically, the balance beam. Going into my senior year of high school, offers have been pouring in from many schools like Oklahoma, Florida and even Louisiana, which are some of the top gymnastic schools in America.

This was my life: perfect. Well, until the day of July 24th, 2018 when my life changed in the blink of an eye.

___   ___   ___

“Hello? Miss. Amber Davis?” I slowly opened my eyes, smelling the disinfectant from the hospital, as I slowly sat up from the cold, leather chairs I had layer across in the waiting room. My eyes were burning and bloodshot from all the crying I had done earlier as I looked up at the figure in front of me. She was tall, with a surgical mask around her neck and was holding a clipboard.

“Hi, you must be Amber, I’m doctor Wagner.” She stuck out her hand for me to shake, then sat down in the seat beside me, pulled her glasses down over his eyes and began to skim over the papers. I peeked over her shoulder trying to get a glimpse but she twisted to face me, hugged the clipboard snug against her chest, and began to speak.

“Your mother sustained many life-threatening injuries in the accident. We did everything we could in surgery, but I’m afraid that she isn’t going to make it through the night and if she does make it, she will never be the same.” I looked up at her and nodded, feeling my heartbreak into a million piece and the tears began to roll down my face. She pulled a couple of tissues out of her coat pocket and handed them to me, then wrapped her arm around my back and rubbed it up and down, attempting to comfort me.

      “Sweetheart! I got here as fast as I could. How is she doing?” Someone’s wrinkly arms were wrapped around me. “Grandma!” I cried as I jumped up and over the seat to hug her. Dr. Wagner then stood up from where she had been seated and approached us.

“Are you the mother of Mrs. Abbie Davis?” Doctor Wagner asked. My grandmother pulled away from the hug and faced her putting her arm around my shoulder pulling me close to her.

“No, actually I'm her Mother in law, her parents aren’t from around here. Katharine.” She stuck her hand out for a handshake and doctor Wagner introduced herself. “So, what happened to my sweet Abbie?” she asked. Dr. Wagner looked down at me “I think we should let Amber see her, and we can go chat.” We began walking down the long, plain hallway leading to the ICU. When we arrived, Doctor Wagner took the key card dangling from her neck off and inserted it in the door to open it. She then hauled a heavy, wooded chair from the hallway into the room, placing it against the wall and gestured for me to sit in it.

“If you need anything you can find us in the cafeteria or a nurse should be checking in every hour or so.” She smiled and handed me a brown wool blanket. “Please Amber, try to get some sleep, it’s pretty late and it will make you feel better.” She then dimmed the lights and shut the door leaving me alone with my mom.

I tried falling asleep multiple times, but I just couldn’t. Every time I tried, my thoughts would keep me awake and the only thing comforting me was the beeping that her heart monitor had which was indicating that she was still alive. Eventually, I gave up and pulled my chair next to her bed. I grabbed her cold, bruised hand and rested my head beside it.

“Mom, I don’t know if you can hear me but I just need to let you know that I love you so much and that I need you to fight for me. Please, mom, you can't leave me.” My voice began to crack. “I can't lose you like we lost dad. Please, mom, I need you, I can’t do it without you.” The tears began to pour down my face again, staining the white bed sheets black from my mascara.

Not realizing I had finally fallen asleep, I was awoken by a loud, beep that didn’t seem to stop. At first, I thought it was just my alarm, but when I couldn’t find the snooze button, my head sprung up and I realized that it wasn’t just a nightmare. As I looked at the heart monitor, there was a straight, thin, green line across the screen. I jumped out of my chair and bolted out of the room and down the hall meeting Dr. Wagner who was sprinting towards her room with a swarm of doctors. One in which stopped and basically drug me back into the waiting room.

About an hour later, Doctor Wagner appeared in the waiting room. She pulled the mask down from her face and she had a discouraged look on her face. “Amber, Katharine. We did everything and couldn’t revive her. I’m so sorry.” When those words left her mouth I collapsed into my grandmother’s arms, squeezing her tight and began to sob. She ran her hand through my long blonde hair and shushed me, trying to calm me down

____    ____     ____

A couple weeks passed and I was finally starting to get out of bed a feel the slightest bit better. That was all up until I was finally somewhere other than my room. There was a loud knocking at the door and I glanced over at my grandmother who was standing up from the couch. She handed me the TV remote, which I tossed on the coffee table where my feet were.

She swung the door open to see a lady wearing a black pantsuit holding a black leather briefcase. “Hello, I am here to speak with Amber Davis.” When I heard my name I reached for the remote to turn the volume down on the TV, and sat up putting my feet on the soft fur rug and began to eavesdrop.

“I’m Nancy from social services, I am here to discuss a home placement for her if that’s okay.” My stomach began to ache and everything around me began to spin. I heard the door squeak open and high heels begin to click against the tile.

“Amber, someone is here to speak with us.” My grandmother announced as she turned the corner from the front entrance.

“And you must be Amber,” Nancy said as she sat in the white chair across from me. She then unzipped her briefcase, and digging through many files until she pulled out a yellow file labeled “ACD.” She opened the file, handed a copy to my grandmother and me, and began to skim through it.

“Okay, so it says here that you were born January 2nd, 2001, since you will not be 18 until then, we will have to find you a home. You will live there until your 18 and you can either choose to stay or leave.” She said pointing to a line highlighted in yellow so we could follow along. “Now if you skip to the top of the last paragraph on the second page it states that you were adopted on the fourth of January 2001 to Mr. and Mrs. Davis. Is this correct?” she glanced up at my grandmother, who looked at me with an ashamed look in her eye and nodded “Yes, that’s correct.”

They began a conversation about the adoption details, which I clearly wasn’t a part of because I had no idea. This had my head spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out. After a good five minutes of trying to work it out in my head, everything was finally falling into place. I always questioned why my parents were both super tall, with brown eyes and dark brown curly hair, which was the complete opposite of me. I had straight golden blonde hair, green eyes, and I was never really that tall. Nancy began to speak to me again, which snapped me out of my daze.

“Okay anyways, on that date, your parents and birth parents signed a form that stated if anything were to happen to your parents, you would be moving in with them rather than a foster family. Since this is the case I have arranged a flight for you on Wednesday.”

“What do you mean, a flight.” I snapped back

“Well, your family is living in Michigan, so you will have to move there.”

“Who are they,” I asked. Nancy then pulled a picture out of the file. It was a family of four. They had two sons, one looked to be about the same age as me.

“So, these are the Caufield's. Kelly, Paul, Brock, and Cole.” She replied by pointing at each as she said their name. “Oh, and it turns out Cole it's your twin brother. Says here he was born fifteen minutes before you.”

My blood was now boiling for so many reasons. One of which, was that I was moving in with a family that picked my brother over me and basically disowned me.

“Alright, that’s all for today. I will see you bright and early Wednesday morning!” She then grabbed the folder, put it back in her briefcase and marched out the front door.

[donkey-hyuck]

Desire

^^Song based off Jeremy Zucker I love him sm

Word Count- 3.5k

Genre- ANGST/ some fluff/ humor (?)

Pairing- Na Jaemin X Reader/ includes dreamies+Mark, sorry Jeno is the ex but he’s mentioned a few times and they see him a couple times .

The lyrics of the song that are mentioned are NOT in order of how the song goes

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Why do you cry with your hair tied up? And my t-shirt on?

You were in your best friends t-shirt, crying your heart out. Your, now, ex-boyfriend, broke up with you and it’s a few days post break up, but you were still hurting. He was your first love, how could you not? In the midst of all this commotion, your, very concerned, mother had called your best friend.

“Jaemin, they need you. Now.”

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Jaemin. Na Jaemin. Your best friend of over eleven (11) years. You’ve always envied him, for being so outgoing, for being the exact opposite of you. He was a total, natural, flirt, and a pro at dating, stealing the hearts of many.

So, here he was, barging through your door, eight (8) at night, with snacks, movies, and his hoodie, finding ways to help console you as you’re going through your first ever break up.

I’ll be outside when the sky falls down

He was your best friend. There for you from the start. He was there for you when you got bullied, he fought them for you, helped you get over those mean people that hurt his best friend. Whenever someone tore you down, Jaemin was always there to bring you back up. And you were thankful enough to have someone as special as Na Jaemin in your life.

You’ve never had the imagination to think of you and Jaemin together. It’d be nice because he was the sweetest person you’ve ever let into your life, but you just didn’t see it. Though, your mother had thought otherwise. Telling you that he is the perfect man to go out with. He was kind, generous, selfless, and so much more. Yes, you love him so much, but only as a friend. He was your best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

Little did you know, all that was going to change.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

It was now a few weeks post break-up with Jeno, and the crew all decided to go roller skating, back where Jisung and Chenle work. Mark being the oldest and wisest, as his stupid ass claims, came to pick you all up.

Once you get to the destination, everyone agreed to play two (2) rounds of laser tag first. It was a blast, and it really did help you get over your seven (7) month relationship with Jeno. After the laser tag, you walked to the counter for the roller skates and greeted Chenle, who was giving your roller skates, and Jisung peering from the back to the front to see his friends.

“Hey Lele! Jisung!”

“Hi besties! The usual, right?”

You all nodded in excitement, ready to go to the rink and just have some fun.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

As the night was coming to an end, well, for the roller skating bit, you and Jaemin were seen playing some of the arcade games. As you were trying to beat him at an intense game of street fighter, someone glanced your way and it was none other than Lee Jeno. Your first love, but also, your first heartbreak. And as soon as Jaemin saw him, he tried to distract you from looking behind you. The only thing he could resort to, or more like the first thing that came to his mind.

He kissed you.

And you were in total shock. Never in your life did you believe that your best friend would mold his lips to yours in a kiss. And you never in your life believed that you would kiss back. The kiss lasted a few seconds before Jaemin realized what he did and pulled away instantly.

“I-I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I just saw Jeno and remembered how much he hurt you. I’m so-”

I’ve won and I’ve lost but I fell and I fucked it up

The words that were going to come out of his mouth quickly dissolved as you push your face into his chest. Reassuring him that it was fine and everything will be okay. When you lifted your head from his chest and met his gaze, his eyes were brimmed with tears and his face was turning pink out of frustration and embarrassment. A single drop of his tear cascaded down his cheek and you were quick to cup his cheek to wipe it, leaning your forehead against his in the process whispering, “it’s alright. We’ll be alright, and we always will.”

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

By the time it was ten (10) o’clock, everyone was crowded on your bed and the space near your bed. You were all currently reminiscing the past by watching old Nickelodeon and Disney tv shows and movies.

Falling asleep to the soft chatter and laughter of you friends, your eyes grow heavy and you soon drift off to sleep dreaming of god-knows what.

The following morning, you are awoken by the sound of laughter and plates being set down on the table. And once you realized your friends weren’t in your room, you lazily got out of your bed to get ready. When you came down everyone shouted a, “good morning Y/N!” And you responded with a, “morning guys~!”

But when you glanced at Jaemin, he looked like he was trying to avoid any contact with you. After that whole incident, he hasn’t paid much attention to you, now that you think back to last night when you guys came home. “Jae? Are you still thinking about, uh, what happened last night?” He lookd straight into your eyes and apologized again, hugging you with his face pressed against your stomach. “I’m so sorry. I was so stupid to do that. You’re my best friend.”

I hate to be the one to make your fears fire up

You chuckled again and ran your fingers through his hair, telling him that it was really okay and it didn’t mean much because it was so abrupt. He looked up at you and pouted. “So, were good?” He asked. “We’re good.”

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Fast forward to school, first (1st) period, which wasn’t really a period, it was more like a chill advisory before school actually started.

You were in the midst of a conversation with Ryujin when she pointed out Jeno, your first love, walking towards the two (2) of you.

“Hey, Ryujin, can I borrow Y/N for a sec?”

You desperately looked at her, pleading her to say no as your pupils dilate. “Sorry, we’re kinda busy right now.” And that made you sigh in relief, “thanks.”

First bell had already rung and you were in your second (2nd) - though you think technically your first (1st) - period. Fortunately for you, Yeri and Hyuck were in the same class. Yet, unfortunately for you, so was Jeno.

You quietly told them what happened not even fifteen (15) minutes ago concerning him. “Ugh, what does he want? He broke it off with you, didn’t he?” Questioned Yeri. “He did. But I don’t know what he wants.”

But you can’t help to think about the kiss that you shared with Jaemin. He did claim to see Jeno constantly looking at the two (2) of you playing your arcade game. “What a weirdo,” chimed Hyuck, you and Yeri laughing and agreeing. “Indeed.”

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

By the time the second bell for lunch rang, you ran to your locker to put away your things whilst your friends try to look for a lunch table to sit. And unluckily for you, so was Jeno.

His locker wasn’t far from yours. Yes is was past halfway the hallway, but the hallways weren’t that long to begin with, so if you were to avoid him, he still could’ve easily saw you. And that he did.

“Y/N wait!”

You stopped in your tracks and groaned, slowly turning around and clenching your jaw as well as balling your fists together.

“Yes, Jeno? Is there something wrong?”

“Listen, I know that I broke up with you, but, I want to get back together. My life has been horrible these past few weeks and I’ve missed you. My parents have too. Please come back?” You didn’t know if you could believe him. You know the real reason he broke up with you. He was cheating on you. You caught him texting some girl who didn’t go to your school, you also passed by them while you were at the mall with your cousins. They were in the hallway of the bathroom. Pressing their lips together. “Bullshit,” you spat in his face and turned on your heels to leave. Until he grabbed your wrist. “What do you mean, bullshit? I meant what I said,” he pleaded. “Yeah right. You could’ve said anything other than that. It’s too clichè for me to fall for that. Besides, I saw you two (2). You were basically eating each other’s faces. Just get over us, because I already have and I don’t plan on coming back,” with the final word, you left, leaving him paralyzed by your words.

Easier to blame with a broken heart. Hate me now that we’ve grown apart

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Later that day, Jaemin swung by to greet your mother from his mother, but also to tell you about the project your supposed to be working on. You were both busy that day and hadn’t had the time to really start on it.

“So, our bio project is about the energy of life. It says that we have to create a manipulative poster of some-sort regarding to the energy of life, based on cellular respiration and photosynthesis. I’m free any day except for Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and Thursday’s, but, you already know that,” you explained. “Mhm. I have basketball practice coming up but we can work on it on the weekends and some free periods,” he, too, explains. “Okay then, it’s settled! I’ve got to go to work soon but I’ll see you tomorrow okay Jae?”

“Of course.”

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

“Y/N! I’m coming home late today so will you be able to get a ride home with someone?” Your mother tells you as you get into the car for her to drop you off.

“Yeah, I’ll have Jaemin drop me off today. But he has basketball practice until four (4). Just in case you come home during that time.”

“Okay. I probably will be home later but thanks for letting me know! I love you, bye!”

“Love you too mom. Bye.”

You enter your, what you consider, advisory class as usual and sit down to talk to Ryujin, Chenle, and Yeji. Yeji was someone you’ve known of, but you didn’t really consider each other as friends. All you knew was that she was friends with Ryujin and she currently has a crush on your best friend, Na Jaemin. “So, Y/N, how’s Jaemin? Basketball season is coming up and was wondering when their first game was.”

“Oh, uh, well, he’s doing fine I guess, and their first (1st) game isn’t until Friday this week.”

“Great! I’ll see you all there?”

“Of course! We never miss his home games. We’re his biggest fans!” said Chenle.

It was now free period and you walked into your bio lab looking for your presentation on the energy of life. You texted Jaemin to meet you in your bio class to find the poster and clarify some things listed in the rubric/instructions. “Hey, I’m here. Sorry I’m late,” he said, walking through the door to find you talking to the teacher. “You’re fine. I got all our questions answered anyways. Let’s head into the library.”

Once about forty-five (45) minutes have passed on you both working on your poster, some messing around included, there were about fifteen-twenty (15-20) minutes left of your free period and you both decided to just talk, like usual.

“My mom asked if you could take me home today. I’ll stay after school to watch you practice.”

“Okay, sounds great. I would be glad to have my best friend there to support me.”

“Oh, shut up, idiot,” you laughed and playfully pushed him. “By the way, Yeji asked about you. She asked when your first game was.”

“Did you tell her?”

“Of course I did. I was with Chenle and Ryujin anyways, I couldn’t lie.”

“Ugh, I hate her. She’s so obsessed with me and I barley even know her. I just be nice to her because she’s Ryujin’s friend.”

“Me too Jae, but we can’t do anything about it.”

“Then wear my basketball sweater for the game on Friday, Y/N.”

“Why would I?”

“Because I want you to. You’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t you?”

Oh shit, he got you there.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

It was the afternoon of the first basketball game of the season. You and your friends walked through the gym doors quite early to see the boys practice and to get good seats right at the front. However, before you could all sit, Yeji screamed to Ryujin to get her attention, or more like everyone’s attention. “Ryujin!” And everyone looked over to see where her voice was coming from. Then, she slowly walked towards your group of friends. “Hey guys! Can I sit with you? I want to see my star player,” she dreamily sighed, her hand covering her heart. She didn’t seem to notice that you had your best friends basketball hoodie, which was a good thing since you didn’t know what was going to happen once she saw you wearing it.

When the game was over, Jaemin ran to his friends and they all congratulated him with high-fives, hugs, kisses - it was only Hyuck but whatever - and when he came towards you he hugged you while lifting you in the air. “Nice sweater.”

“Thanks. I got it from the best,” you playfully winked.

“Jaemin!” Screamed Yeji, while she was running towards him, pushing you all the while. She jumped into his arms causing him to stumble back. They seemed a little busy so you walked back to where your friends were.

“Congrats,” she said to him.

“Uh, thanks. But I got to get to my friends, we have plans later.”

“Oh! Am I able to join? I can ask Ryujin.”

“Uh, sure. Ask her, I guess.” He sighed.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Mark and Jaemin drove, in two (2) separate cars of course, to your favorite diner, Daybreak to celebrate Jaemin’s win. Yeji, of course, wanted to go with Jaemin. So, she went to his car, opening the passenger seat.

“Wait! Uhm, Y/N is coming with us, she can sit in the front,” he quickly said, catching your attention beofre you entered Mark’s car. “I am?”

“Yes. You are,” he pleaded with his eyes.

You sighed and exited Mark’s car to climb into the passenger seat of Jaemin’s car. That’s when she finally saw that you were wearing your best friends basketball hoodie. “Wait, Ryujin, you can come in Jaemin’s car too, there’s enough room,” you shouted, glancing at Yeji’s face when she realized you were wearing his sweater. She obliged and got into Jaemin’s car before she could enter Mark’s.

On the way to the diner, Ryujin and Yeji was laughing, though, Yeji’s laugh was getting more obnoxious the more she did so, at least, she got more obnoxious in your opinion. When you looked up at Jaemin, you could tell he was annoyed too. His nose scrunching every time Yeji laughed.

After, what seemed like an eternity, you reached the diner and Jaemin immediately clinged onto you, not wanting any contact between Yeji. And being the touchy Leo he is, wrapped his arm around your waist while walking into the Daybreak.

You and your friends grabbed a booth and combined a table together to fit the ten (10) of you. By now, the owner, Taeyong, was pretty used to your regular occasions and always greeted you.

“Hey guys! Another win?”

“Yes! You should’ve been there, the people on the team is so cool!” Said Chenle and Renjun.

“I call sitting next to Jaemin!” You rolled your eyes and mentally face-palmed yourself. “Sorry, I’m sitting next to Y/N.”

“Oh, well, I can sit on the other side of you, right?”

You knew how much Jaemin wanted to decline, but being the nice person he was, just sighed a small, ‘okay.’

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

It was killing him inside. Having a one-sided love. Love that will never happen. He’s hurting. Jaemin has loved you since the dawn of time. He remembers when he first met you, instantly falling in love. It was as if God created something so perfect. Someone for him to cherish and love. But that someone didn’t love him the way he did. He just wanted all the pain to go away. He wished he never met you, he’s glad he did, but, you never returned his feelings. And you probably never will. He just wanted to end it all. He wants to numb all the pain so he could live a day without torture. So that’s when he did it. He confessed.

All these shots poured down the drain, I tried but it tastes like novicaine

“Hey. Y/N, can I talk to you.”

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

“Oh my gosh! I’m so happy for you two (2)!” Your mother exclaimed when you broke the news about you and Jaemin. “I knew you two (2) would end up together!” Her reaction made you both laugh.

It was a tough decision to make. Yes, you only saw Jaemin as a friend, but something - some sort of spark - knocked you out of your daze and your reality when Jaemin kissed you that night. You then thought to yourself, yeah, maybe I do desire Jaemin. And, for the time being, it was the best.

Breaking the news to your friends and his family was exhilarating, but it was also nerve wracking. They were all happy for you, and shouted different sayings with the same meaning like

“Yes! I told you they would get together,” or, “You guys finally came to your senses.”

Everyone was happy for the two (2) of you. And you were happy for each other. You were happy to have Jaemin and he was happy to have you.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Wanna get the fuck out this lonely town

It was now your second (2nd) semester of college. Graduating out of high school a year ago. You and Jaemin have been dating a little over a year. But that all was about to change.

“Why? Why don’t you spend any time with me anymore?” He scoffed.

“Jae, we’re in college. We can’t spend all of our time together anymore. Hell, you almost failed three (3) of you classes. You have to put your all in the work you’re given.”

“Yeah, but we never spend any time together. You’re in all of those three (3) classes. I try to ask you but you’re always blowing me off with ‘homework’ or your work.”

“We’re adults now. This is reality Jae. It’s not that great for the time being but it will have to do. Just do your work, it’s not that hard. Plus, you have your job,” you sighed. “You’re so frustrating,” you muttered under your breath.

“I’m frustrating? Do you hear yourself? I just want to spend a little more time with you. Can you not wrap your stupid ass head around that? We never see each other because every time you’re in those damn classes, you sit in the front listening to the stupid professor.”

You sigh letting go of the pencil you were clenching so hard in your hand.

“Look, this argument isn’t going anywhere. I need to finish this report for one of my classes. Please, can we just get over this pointless argument. And please leave, I have to work on this,” you pleaded.

“I’d be glad to,” he huffed, taking his sweater and walking out of your apartment.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

You wanted to cry. You haven’t spoken to Jaemin in a week and a half. You don’t even remeber the argument at this point and you miss actually conversating with him. You had to confront him.

>>Meet me at the park by my apartment in five (5)

<< okay

Sitting at one of the swings, waiting for Jaemin, you go on your phone. You hear footsteps coming towards you. Knowing it’s Jaemin, you look up from your phone as he sits on the swing next to you.

“What did you want to talk about?”

It’s breaks your heart to say these words. “Let’s break up.” And his eyes widen, cupping your face into his large hands, tears already forming in his eyes. “Why?”

“Jae, we’re not happy. We don’t have enough tile for each other. Hell, we argued about our time management weeks ago. We have our own lives. I have to focus on mine and you have to focus on yours. You can’t fail you classes because of me.... we have to break it off.”

Na Jaemin. He was your best friend of eleven (11) years. Your boyfriend for one (1). He knew you like the back of his hand. He knew that you would continue to reject. And with two (2) broken hearts, he leans his forehead against yours. “Okay... but we’ll always stay best friends right?”

“Of course.”

If I’m honest, pretty sure I’m still alone, at loss for words

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

You leave Jaemin’s arms with a heavy heart. You can’t look at him right now. But he’s still your best friend, even if you dated for a year. You can’t give up everything you’ve ever known. No matter how much you desired each other, maybe you and he were only meant to stay best friends. Forever and always.

What do you desire?

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

Okay, listen, Ik the argument was kinda (REALLY) stupid, but I tried to think of an argument that kinda made sense???? But, enjoy this anyways😭

[meatmeinthemiddle-mark]

A Brief Introduction to the Stray Kids’ members

since my boys are debuting this saturday (25 MARCH) i thought i would put a lil intro for the new fans joining our (used to be small) fandom!! let us begin

Stage Name: Bang Chan

Real Name: Bang Chan/Chris

Nickname: Kangaroo Hyung

Position: Leader, Producer, Lead Vocalist, Lead Dancer, Rapper #TRIPLETHREAT

Country of Origin: Sydney, Australia (he can also speak Japanese and little bit of Chinese)

DOB: Oct 3 1997

Chan has been a trainee for 7 years before debuting with Stray Kids in 2018. He used to train with members of GOT7, Day6, TWICE. He is reALLY good friends with Bambam (friendship goals). He was the one to gather all 8 members to make a Boys Project team for the 2017 JYP Trainee Showcase. Chan is also in a pre-debut group (3RACHA, he is CB97) with Jisung and Changbin.

In conclusion, he is the most hardworking leader out there who will do ANYTHING for his 8 boys.

Stage Name: Woojin

Real Name: Kim Woojin

Nickname: Bear (cus he is v v v cuddly)

Position: Main Vocalist

Country of Origin: South Korea

DOB: Apr 8 1997

Woojin is a frKN TALENTED BOI WHO CAN PLAY THE GUITAR AND SING LIKE AN ANGEL. He can flawlessly hit falsettos that will make you cry. He used to be under SM and trained with NCT members before joining JYP. He is the oldest in the Vocal Line (with Seungmin and Jeongin). ALSO A BIG DAY6 FAN! His cover of I Smile will forever go down in my history books.

B O i , if he gonna fight you, you better run, this dude works out everyday to improve his physical condition so that he would be able to sing better.

Stage Name: Lee Know (bc he knows himself and he knows the fans, dont u luv a smart boi)

Real Name: Lee Minho

Nickname: Hyung ah

Position: Main Dancer, Rapper, Vocalist

Country of Origin: South Korea

DOB: Oct 25 1998

WHERE DO I START WITH THIS BOI, ok first, we do not talk about the time he was eliminated by the snake during their show. that was a heartbreaking day and my heart goes out to all the minho stans out there. He used to be a backup dancer for BTS during their JAPAN WINGS tour!! He became a JYP trainee shortly after that. HE IS AN AMAZING DANCER, HE WAS IN A DANCE ACADEMY FOR 5 YEARS!! He absolutely loves his dongsaengs and will help them whenever they lack in dancing.

Seungmin accidentally called him mom and i completely agree.

Stage Name: Changbin

Real Name: Seo Changbin

Nickname: Binnie (Binnie Changbinnie)

Position: Main Rapper (he spits fire faster than any dragon, rapper name is SpearB if you see it on his head)

Country of Origin: South Korea

DOB: Aug 11 1999

He thinks he is dark. IRL, he is not, he is an aegyo producing machine. THE SOFTEST BOI. A hardcore rapper im dead, you should listen to all his raps and QUESTION how tf he breathes (i think he breathes through his skin). Owns a plushie munchlax named Gyu aka another reason why he isnt dark. Is in a pre-debut rap group (3racha, name is SpearB))with Chan and Jisung. The other members look for him to improve in their rapping skills bc Changbin is honestly amazing at it. 

he is also in a relationship with felix but we shall stop here

Stage Name: Hyunjin

Real Name: Hwang Hyunjin

Nickname: Jinnie

Position: Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer, Visual

Country of Origin: South Korea (but he can also speak basic english!!)

DOB: Mar 20 2000

He goes to the School of Performing Arts (SOPA) in Seoul, has been dancing for around 3 years. A FAN OF GOT7′S JINYOUNG and 100% fanboy’d when Jinyoung held his hand. He has an adorable pooch named Kkami that I wanna see again :{{. He does have the prettiest face but you gotta enjoy the rap fire he spits during the songs bc hOOOOOman you’ll be shook. Hyunjin is also the tallest of the group at 179cm or 5′ 8′’.

DO NOT LET HIM COOK OR ELSE HE WILL PROBABLY BURN HIMSELF PLEASE. FIRE HAZARD

Stage Name: HAN (his favourite syllable of his name)

Real Name: Han Jisung

Nickname: Squirrel 

Position: Main Rapper, Vocalist (hits the legendary high notes in Hellavator)

Country of Origin: South Korea (he was sent overseas to Malaysia to study so he does know how to speak english)

DOB: Sept 14 2000

B E HO LD, my first bias of the group but that has LONG flew out the window for me. He has the cutest cheeks and he can stuff food in them to look like a squirrel (extremely cute). He can impersonate Doraemon to the best of his abilities. He writes amazing lyrics for all the group songs along with Changbin. I also love his voice so much whenever he raps or whenever he sings I am just s o o o o o o o ooo attracted. Also in 3racha! (his name is J.ONE)

Even though he is super young, he is super talented in everything he does.

Stage Name: Felix

Real Name: Lee Felix

Nickname: Jikseu, 

Position: Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer

Country of Origin: Sydney, Australia

DOB: Sept 16 2000

This is a precious sunshine boy and I cannot live without him. So when he was eliminated bc a SNAKE said he sucked at Korean. weLL JSNAKE CAN SUC MY-. Hella(vator) deep voice. H E L L A. His squish face does not match his voice AT ALL. A bEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE WE HEARD ONLY ONCE :(. His rap is filled with darkness and angst but his singing voice is filled with the sun and honey. DOES ACROBATICS!! Felix is felixible.

clings onto changbin like his life depends on it, also dabs a lot

Stage Name: Seungmin

Real Name: Kim Seungmin

Nickname: Snail

Position: Lead Vocalist

Country of Origin: South Korean (lived in LA for a while during the 4th grade so he can speak english fluently)

DOB: Sept 22 2000

y o , you wanna know who owns Young Wings?? THIS BOY. His vocals are out of this world and its so wonderfully smooth to listen too. Is an absolute savage when is comes to comebacks (especially to changbin). THE LOUDEST IN THE DORM BECAUSE HE KEEPS SCREAMING. Probs screaming to make the other members get off his bed. The cutest person alive but also can be a rude boi, He came in 2nd for the open auditions!!! 

takes the most breathtaking selfies tbh, boi knows his angles because he was trained to be model for a while.

Stage Name: I.N (because Jeongin is hard to pronounce)

Real Name: Yang Jeongin

Nickname: Desert/Fennec Fox

Position: Vocalist, Maknae

Country of Origin: South Korea

DOB: Feb 8 2001 

A MAKNAE THAT LOOKS LIKE A MAKNAE FINALLY. But watch out because he grows super fast and is becoming more disrespectful day by day. Found his talent because he sang trot in front of his school and absolutely loved performing. A super precious braces-wearing bean who absolutely has to be protected. He goes to SOPA with Hyunjin!! IS ACTUALLY TALLER THAN THE LEADER AND I AM SCARED FOR HIS GLOW UP HONESTLY.

I love him and he is so strong to be able to withstand JYP’s criticism throughout their reality show :’)

aaaaaand that is it for the members!! If you wanna know more or wanna know where to watch their videos just hit up my ask box! 

[creativitymouth]

The World Forgetting by The World Forgotten

This is my first Story on tumblr, no hate but feedback is appreciated. 

Aged Up, SlowBurn RichieTozierxFem!Reader

The Losers Were Born In 1972 but Pennywise still comes back in 1989

This story will start in grade school so you can see the growth of each of the characters.

Summary: You can smile a million times a day but that smile doesn’t quiet your demons. 

Chapter 1:

2nd grade - 1980

You were sitting alone in the recess yard, twiddling your thumbs as you stared blankly at the ground in front of you. It had only been 2 weeks since your Grandmother had died causing your parents to uproot your life and move to the unknown town of Derry, Maine. They had told you that your Grandma had died of heartbreak. No one was around to really take care of her, but your young 7-year-old brain couldn’t wrap your brain around that.

She had me. You thought repeatedly. Nana had me. You took out the silver locket that she’d pushed into your hand as she laid on her deathbed.

“(Y/N),” she had said “I think it’s your time to have this.” Her trembling hand came up and pushed the strands of hair out of your face.

“Where are you going Nana?” You asked, recalling that she said she’d only give you the locket when she’d be leaving for a very long time.

“To see Grandpa.” She said smiling faintly before kissing you on your forehead. “But we’ll see each other again.”

“When?”

“One day, you’ll come to me.”

You sniffled at the memory, you wanted to be with Nana now. She was the only one who noticed that you existed. You parents, while not particularly cruel, were never around. They always had business trips and conventions, so you’d be left in Nana’s care. But since she was gone now, and you were too young to be alone in the great city of New York they’d moved you to Derry. Telling themselves that if they left you alone for a week or 2 in a town like this nothing bad would happen. Plus, the Neighbors could watch you. You shook your head sadly, your (Y/H/T) hair falling messily into your face. You half expected Nana to brush it away.

“You’re such a baby.” A pair of red sparkly flats, that reminded you of Dorothy from the wizard of Oz, came into view. You looked up with tears still in your eyes. “I’ve been watching you cry for like 15 minutes.” The girl said. You didn't respond as you couldn’t comprehend what was going on. “I’m Greta Bowie.”

“I’m -”

“I didn’t ask.” Greta cut you off. Her face scrunched up, ruining what was supposed to be a 7-year olds innocence. She eyed you with pure disgust before her eyes landed on the sparkly locket in your hands. “What’s that?” She ogled her hand stretching out. You shook your head roughly before tightly closing a small fist around the locket. It was yours, Nana gave it to you, and no one else could touch it. “I asked you a question.” She huffed putting her hands on her hips.

“It’s mine.” You responded.

“My mom says that sharing is caring, I’m not sure she means for me to share. But other people need to share with me.”

“No -” You’d begun, when Greta snatched your hand and tried prying it off the locket. You pulled your hand back trying hard to get her off you. Yet, for a 7-year-old she was kind of strong. You looked around for parental supervision but the only adults around either seemed not to care, or were too busy with a cigarette in their hands. She finally pried the locket out of your clenched fist and began to inspect it. “Give that back.” You stood up, your hands curled into little balls at your side.

“Calm down.” Greta said shoving you with the hand not holding the locket. She opened the locket and scowled nastily at the photo of your grandparents. “It’s just a photo of wrinkly old people, gross.” Her eyes, which held no life despite her age, contacted your wide (Y/E/C) ones. She tsked, an action which she always saw her mom do when she was disappointed, before throwing the locket into the small duck pond beside you. You gasped, your eyes filling up with tears as you made a move to go get it, but her hand shot up and blocked your path. “You sure do dress like a little boy.” She commented looking at your large clothing. “Are you,” she paused her brain reeling to those reality programs her parents watched “gay?” The word didn’t register with you, having been your first time hearing it. You didn’t mean to dress the way you did, though you had never seen a problem with it prior. Your parents just didn’t know your size, or anything about you. Maybe they thought you were a boy and that’s why they bought you those brown khakis and grey sweater.  

“Hey! Leave her alone. You big ass bully!” A voice rung out, sounding as though they spoke at the speed of light. The swear word had caught you by surprise, mom would have had your head if you spoke that way. Greta’s eyes narrowed looking to where the voice had come from. “You heard me Bowie, get your nasty ugly face away from her. She wasn't even bothering you.” You followed Greta’s eyes to a boy with large red rimmed glasses that made his eyes the size of the moon. He had curly black hair that seemed plastered to his forehead. “Just because your mom's a bitch to everyone in this town doesn’t mean you have to be.” Greta backed away from you and gaped at the boy who spoke with run on sentences.

“My mom is not a - a, “ she paused, “a bitch” her voice barely a whisper as she looked back at the teachers who now watched with mild interest.

“Yeah, she is, she’s always grouchy about your daddy who doesn’t give her enough Di-”

“Richie Tozier!” A teacher called out causing Richie to stop speaking and start chuckling. You watched him with a dumb-founded expression on your face. You always flinched when teachers yelled at you yet here he was practically laughing in their face. “Do we need to wash out that Trashmouth of yours!” Richie’s big brown eyes twinkled as he watched Greta march away with tears in her eyes. It was then you noticed three other boys behind him. One of the kids walked off towards the duck pond sticking his hand inside as a grimace plagued his face. The other three walked up to you, Richie in the front smiling proudly.

“Thanks.” You mumbled feeling embarrassed that someone had seen you cry. You didn’t like seeming like a damsel in distress. Your mother had always read fables do you. Stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. But you could never understand why they didn’t just save themselves, why they needed a man to do all the work.

“Yeah, no problem, we couldn’t just let Greta pick on the new kid.” A small boy with a brown paper bag filled with medicines spoke up. “I’m Edward Kaspbrak, but people call me Eddie”

“Or Eds.” Richie spoke up.

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said tiredly as if this was a routine conversation.

“Here you go.” The boy you had seen go over to the duck pond reached a closed hand out to you. You placed your hand under his and smiled wildly as he dropped your grandmother's locket into your palm. “I’m Stanley Uris.”

“I’m W-William Denbrough, but everyone ca-calls me Bill.” The kid next to Eddie said, and though he wasn’t in the front your child mind identified him as the leader. You snapped your Grandmother's locket back around your neck firmly nodding. “And this is R-R -”

“Trashmouth.” You interrupted looking at the boy with glasses. Stan, William, and Eddie all laughed as Richie looked taken aback. He smiled shortly after, liking the nickname.

“I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N)” You smiled, sticking your hand out to shake, William was the first one to take it.

“Welcome to the loser’s club (Y/N).” Richie smiled.  

4th Grade - 1982

Ms. Kaspbrak frowned as she watched you walk around her house in shorts and a t-shirt. Young ladies shouldn’t be dressed like that she’d thought to herself with complete disregard for the hot weather and your young age. You weren’t a young lady, at least not yet and in your mind, you were no different from the boys, except for maybe your (Y/H/C) hair, which for the day was shoved under your dad's Yankee baseball cap. You smiled as you sat on the floor messing around with Eddie, Richie, William, and Stan. You were currently having a Lego battle, though every 5 minutes it was interrupted by Eddie's mom telling him to put on hand sanitizer. You insured her that you were clean, but she didn’t reply only looking you up and down. She made your skin crawl with her disgusted look, but you couldn’t remember having done anything to her. So, you refrained from saying anything to the other boys.

As the hours went by the boys all started to go home. You were the last one at Eddie's house, helping him pick up his Legos. He’d asked Richie to stay but the Trashmouth only responded with,

“I’m not your fucking maid Eds.” before leaving. He hadn’t even given Eddie the chance to correct him on this name. You all knew that Richie was having trouble at home, and started to act aggressively on the outside. His father had been hitting his mother, and when he left his mother began hitting him. Well, if she wasn’t drunk. As the cleaning was almost finished you walked up the stairs to Eddie's room to put the last of the Legos away. Once inside you turned to get ready to leave when Eddie stopped you with a light hand on your shoulder.

“(Y/N).” He said timidly, before moving his hand away and putting hand sanitizer on. You rolled your eyes and he smiled apologetically before saying “Sorry, my mom said girls have cooties.” You smirked as the thought to lick Eddie on the cheek crossed your mind, but you shook your head to dismiss it. God, you’d been hanging out with Richie too much.

“What’s up Eddie Spaghetti?” Eddie cringed and glared at you making you smile.

“Anyway, (Y/N),” he paused again ringing his hands together. “I was wondering if you would carry my back-up inhaler.” He said as his hand shot out with a bright blue inhaler inside of it. Your head tilted to the side in confusion, didn’t Richie usually carry the inhaler? “I know what you’re thinking, and yes Richie usually carries my inhaler but recently we were at the arcade and I was practically dying, I mean I felt myself going into shock, and I saw this bright white light -”

“Eddie.” You prodded.

“Right, well anyway, I was having an asthma attack and Richie was so absorbed in his game that he hadn’t noticed until I started gasping loudly. So, I’ve deemed him irresponsible.” You chuckled at that, the infamous Trashmouth irresponsible. Obviously.

“Of course, I’ll hold it Eddie, and trust me I won’t let you die.” You smiled at him causing him to smile in return. His cheeks turned red due to his small crush on you. He couldn’t help himself, you were the only girl he really spent time with besides his mom. Plus, you really seemed to care about him. He had felt this way once before about a boy in his 3rd grade math class.  

“I know you won’t.” He said as you took the inhaler from his hands softly. After the contact, Eddie pulled back out his hand sanitizer. Fed-up with this, girls have cooties, thing, you acted on your earlier thought and leaned over licking Eddies cheek. Unfortunately, you hadn't seen Ms. Kaspbrak watching you two through the crack in Eddie's room door. Eddie screeched pulling out the hand sanitizer and rubbing it on his cheek “Oh my god, I’m going to die. I’ve got the cooties and I never even had a cootie shot.” Eddie spoke as he paced around his room. You were doubled over with laughter when the room door burst open revealing a very large and intimidating Ms. Kaspbrak.

“You Jezebel!” She yelled, and your face scrunched in confusion. “I knew I should have kicked you out the moment you walked in here dressed like a harlot.” Though you didn’t understand his mom's words, you knew they were meant to insult. You looked down at yourself and became more confused then you were moments ago. You dressed like the rest of the guys did, what was the problem? “Trying to force yourself on my little innocent Edward.”

“What?” You asked glancing at Eddie who had stopped scrubbing his cheek to look at his mom with the same confused expression you wore.

“You want to make him impure! You want to corrupt him, but not my boy. No way.” Eddie's mom grabbed you by the upper arm and began dragging you out. “Edward Kaspbrak is not into Sluts.” You didn’t understand what was happening, you just knew she thought you had a crush on Eddie. Which you didn’t, you didn’t even really know what liking a boy meant. “He’s too young for a girlfriend!” She yelled as she tossed you out of her home so roughly that you fell onto your knees scraping them. “Edward go take a hot shower! I'll bring the disinfectant.” You heard her say from inside the house. You sniffled, the pain in your knees bringing tears to your eyes. You stood brushing dirt from your clothes before hobbling over to your bike.

You thought about Richie, and what he would have done or said. Trying to find the right words. What was that word Richie always called Greta Bowie? “Bitch.” You tried it, it felt foreign on your tongue, a metallic taste to it. Your hand flew to your mouth, covering it in shock ready to scold yourself. But then you remembered the pain Eddie's mom had caused you and moved your hands away. “Ms. Kaspbrak is a Bitch.” You said again, nodding to yourself before hopping on your bike and riding away.

-------------------------

You were sitting on the grass with Stan watching as he jotted down notes about each of the birds he spotted. You were usually so attentive when it came to Stan's activities knowing how much it meant to him that you always went to bird watch, but today your mind was elsewhere. You had left Bill's house earlier that day, after helping him babysit Georgie. When the conversation about what happened a few nights ago at Eddie's house came up, he had explained to you as best as he could that Eddie's mom thought you wanted to sleep with Eddie.

“S-S-She thinks you want to sleep with Ed-Ed-Eddie.” Bill said.

“Sleep with?”

“Y-Yeah it’s s-s-something our parents do.”

“For what?”

“To ma-make kids.”

“I don’t get it.” You admitted crossing your legs into a pretzel as you watched William play with Georgie and his train set. William shrugged his shoulders and said

“Me eith-th-ther.”

“Neither.” You corrected.

“Wh-whatever (Y/N).” He rolled his eyes at your insistence to correct his language, he already struggled talking, he didn’t need a grammar lesson. “I just kn-know you do it w-with som-someone you like.”

“How do you know when you like someone?” Georgie ran up to you showing you his plastic train that he adored. You smiled at him before messing up his hair. Georgie sat down next to you, prompting William to follow.

“I think th-that you l-like hold h-hands and stuff.”

Your face scrunched up in agitation. “I hold hands with all of you guys in the loser’s club.”

“I-I-It’s different.” He shook his head. “Y-You guys share j-j-jokes and food and you feel the m-most com-comfortable around them.”

“So, you like Beverly then?”

“Y-yeah.” He blushed recalling their shared kiss in the 3rd grade play. “Wh-who do you like?”

That’s what caught you off guard. Who did you like? You didn’t think you liked anyone. All the boys were special to you, but with the way William described liking someone, well the only person you could think that you liked was Richie. Kissing boys was still gross to you, and you had physically gagged when Bill and Beverly Marsh kissed, but you wouldn’t mind holding Richie's hand extra-long or pulling him in for a hug that lasted more than 2 seconds. The thought confused you.

“(Y/N)!” Stan yelled.

“Huh, what?” Stan pointed towards the bird perched onto a branch far away. “Bluebird.” You said, remembering what Stanley had taught you about how to spot birds.

“Yeah, it reminds me of you.”

“How?”

“It’s bubbly, and it’s the symbol for happiness.” Stan nodded roughly.  “And you’re always happy.” You smiled at Stan for this comment but couldn’t help but wonder why whenever you left the boys you went home miserably. “The raven is still my favorite though.” The thought was wiped from your mind as you burst out laughing at the thought of little old Stanley liking such a hardcore bird.

“Definitely.”

[missjugheadjones]

Unspoken Words 2

 Word Count: 2170

    A/N: lol heres the 2nd part to Unspoken words, enjoy! I suggest the song mentioned in here, its one of my favs.  Also sorry for not posting as much, things are very crazy atm but im getting back to it. Much love!

MasterList

Jugheads POV-

    "Betty?" I said over the phone, hearing my sniffling girlfriend on the other end. "Yeah, I'm here, come outside." She sniffled again and I listened as she told me that she couldn't, her mom locked her inside the house for the night and no one was allowed in nor out.

    "So I can't come inside to see you?" I asked, and I listened as she told me I couldn't. My heart sank a little bit, not because I couldn't go in and see her, but because I had just left Y/N heartbroken and crying alone in her house for this.

    "Yeah, no I get it. I'll just see you tomorrow." I said, and hung up the phone, throwing it on the seat next to me. I leaned my head on the steering wheel and sighed, I was truly and idiot today. I kicked myself, closing my eyes trying to stop myself from crying, but behind my shut eyes images of Y/N played like a movie. Her smiling, the way her eyes light up anytime she tells an awful pun and everyone groans, the sound of her laugh when she shoots sarcastic comments my way.

    I replayed memories of our time at Pops, late nights in the quiet diner, the only sounds that are audible are of the neon lights buzz, Pops whistling from back into the kitchen, and the tapping of keys and scratches of lead on paper. While I wrote she drew, or also wrote, but she preferred the look of her scribbled words on paper, the smears of black on her hands as evidence of a nights work. A tattered notebook with crumbled pages, a worn and old look, inside the ins and outs of her mind were translated into pictures and poems, proof that there was a beautiful mind behind her beautiful eyes. She thought the digital route to her genius felt cheap, she liked the messy, tangible work that she could carry around with her, and I always admired her for it.

     Memories of the Twilight-Drive In came next, sitting next to her out in the cold air. We'd sit in the back of my dads truck, blankets and pillows sprawled across the bed of the truck, popcorn and candy pieces littered throughout from our many mini food fights we'd randomly break out in. If it was especially cold, she'd sit closer to me, leaning her head on my shoulder and I'd pull one of the many blankets over her. This was when she was most peaceful, sometimes I would purposely tune out the movie and try my best to listen in on her slow and quiet breaths, finding comfort in the serenity of it. I'd look down at her, admiring how her soft features would glow in the dim light of the movie projection and the night sky. She really was beautiful, and I'm sure that these were the nights where it really stood out to me.

    Not only was she beautiful physically, but mentally as well. She had been through so much, endured so much bullshit yet she still had a soft and warm personality that would draw people in. She was energetic, magnetic, electric. Every word she spoke you could hear the emotion behind it, even if it was a useless sentence that had no meaning at all. She was a human piece of art really, she was all of the art in the world placed into a breathing, living person. Poetic and colourful, abstract but simple, she is everything that I felt was beautiful in the world.

    Then came the heartbreak, the memory I wanted so badly to forget about, to ignore, but it was now stuck in my brain.  I led her on, didn't I? And not only that, but I left her crying and alone after. The tears started to fall, and I couldn't help but feel the burn of self hatred rise up from my stomach to my chest. She was broken, on the floor with tears falling from her beautiful (y/e/c) eyes, and it was all my fault because I decided to do something stupid. I decided to almost let my true feelings slip, I should have told her, I should have stayed.

    Y/N is a smart girl, she knows how to put pieces together, and she's quite good with words and if she knows a person well enough, like she knows me, she can guess what is about to come out of their mouth. She knew what I was going to say, I could see the gleam in her eye, the one that time and time again tells me that she feels the same. I brought her up and I let her crash... I am the worst person ever. It would take a miracle for her to forgive me, hell it would take a miracle for me to forgive myself.

    I straightened up and wiped the tears off my face, crying about Y/N in front of Bettys house felt wrong in some sort of sense. Thinking these thoughts about Y/N in front of Bettys house felt wrong, I just need to get away from Betty. I started up my car and ran my hand through my beanie-less hair, pulling away from the familiar home, looking back slightly to see another lone illuminated window, Bettys. And just like with Y/N, I drove away. I was gone.

Your POV-

    "You look cute with that hat on." Jughead said, smiling towards me. I looked up from my notebook and blushed, rolling my eyes and smiling.

    "Not as cute as you." I say, tapping my pencil on the paper. Jughead chuckles, shaking his head.

    "And that's where your wrong, princess." My chest warms up at the use of his nickname for me. At one point it was used to tease me, a nickname given to me by my best friend who said I acted like a princess most of the time. Now that we are together though, its turned into something more, I'm not just any princess, I'm his, and he is my prince, and I wear his crown to show that I'm his and he is mine.

    "Last time I checked, I'm never wrong, thank you though." I snap back sarcastically, beaming at him as he closes his laptop half way and looks admiringly my way.

    "I wouldn't be so sure about that, weren't you wrong today?" he asks, and I fake surprise.

    "Was I? I don't recall."

    "Yes, I'm pretty sure you were. We were listening to music in the car ride home from school and I was listening to 'Atlanta' and you tried to guess who it was by." he says, and I sink a little in my seat, trying my best to keep up my poker face.

    "None of this is ringing a bell, Beanie. I think it was just all in your imagination." I reply, shrugging and leaning back in my seat.

    "No, I still don't think so. You know the song Atlanta right, who is it by then?" he asks, smirking my way and I stutter, trying my best to think of the artist he had told me earlier.

    "Well, I-uh... twenty one pilots?" I guessed, and he threw his head back in laughter.

    "No, Stone Temple Pilots. Close though, but not really." he says once his laughter dies down a bit, and I roll my eyes.

    "Whatever, same difference." I shoot back, and he shakes his head.

    "Not even close." he says, and I shrug.

    "I'll get it at some point." I say confidently, and he nods.

    "I'm sure you will." he opens his laptop all the way again and starts to type, and I watch as his eyes dance across the screen and listen to the sound of keys being hit. He looks so happy, you can see it in his eyes that this is when he is most peaceful. Sometimes I stare at him, watching as he types away on his laptop, and I swear I can see the gears turning behind his loving eyes. I admire how the neon lights of the diner illuminates his face, creating an orange-y red glow that accentuates the features of his face. Sometimes I swear this is where I notice how handsome he really is, right here in this booth when he's happy and content and busy.

    I look down at my notebook, the words and doodles scribbled across the page, the smear marks of the lead being dragged across the page from my hand. I love it when a new, untouched white page in my notebook becomes a light grey, decorated with my thoughts. I stare at tonights masterpiece, just some random writing about Jughead that I had thought up of, and a doodle of a beanie that looks like a crown. As I look up from my notebook, I see he is looking at me.

    "Is there something on my face?" I asked, and he shakes his head.

    "No, nothing out of the normal. Just the usual cuteness." he says, and I laugh.

    "The cheese is strong with you, isn't it?" I asked, and he laughs as well.

    "Hey, maybe I like being cliché, did you ever think of that?" he asks, closing his laptop and placing it in his bag.

    "Yes, I have. Its not a hard thing to pick up on, especially since you do it so often." I reply, closing my notebook and placing it in my small backpack I use instead of a purse. I slide out of the booth seat and stand up, stretching slightly as Jughead stands up as well. I start to make my way to the door until a hand grabs my wrist and turns me around, facing Jughead. He smiles down at me and I smile up at him.

    "Have I ever told you how happy I am that I finally fixed my mistake?" he asks, which is an odd question, but those are never few and far between with Juggie.

    "What mistake?" I asked quietly, and he shrugs slightly.

    "I had bad judgement, I made a haste decision that ended up being the wrong one, and fixing it was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me." he tried to explain, yet he was still being so vague.

    "What was your wrong decision?" I asked, and he opened his mouth to say something, but a banging noise drowned whatever he said out.

    "Now do you understand?" he questioned, and I shook my head.

     "No, I didn't catch what you said, the noise was too loud." I explained, and he looked down at me confused.

    "What noise?" he asked.

    "The loud banging noise." I said, shocked he hadn't heard it too.

    "I think you're lo-" there it goes again, the noise. I can't hear the second part of his sentence, and now i'm even more confused than before.

    "Did you hear it just then?" I asked, sure he had to have heard it.

    "No, are you feeling okay?" he asks me, and I take a seat back in the booth, I feel a little dizzy.

    "No, not really, I think I just need to-"

    "Wake up?" he suggests, and I look at him confused.

    "Wake up?" I asked, and he nods his head.

    "You should probably wake up, go see what the noise was." he says, and I shake my head.

    "But I'm not asle-" the noise is louder this time, more urgent sounding, like someone is banging on a door.

    "Are you going to get that?" Jughead asks, and I shake my head.

    "Get what?" I ask, and he opens his mouth to respond, but before he can I cut him off. "You know what, it doesn't matter, just tell me what your wrong decision was." I say, and he shrugs.

    "I think you need to wake up." he says, sitting in the seat of the booth across from me.

    "But-"

    "I can't tell you what you want to know. But I'm sure whatever is making that noise can." he says, and I shake my head.

    "The only one who can tell me left. He ran out, back to the one who he belongs with." I say, and Jughead shrugs.

    "Have a little faith, you still have faith in him right?" he asks, and I slowly nod.

    "I have no choice but to. When you're in love with someone, faith in them kind of comes naturally." I say, feeling quite tired. I yawn, and the diner starts to get blurry, and darker. I blink and things around me are now completely dark, and I'm laying down. I sit up slowly, raising my hand to my head and I feel the beanie on me. It was a dream. Of course it was a dream.

Knock! Knock!

    Who the hell is here right now? I look at my phone and see its 1:27am, its a little early for visitors, who in their right mind wants to talk to me now?

Tag list: @do-not-call-me-sunshine @gelattoes @gelattoes@xbobaaa@katshrev@farmfreshcoldsprouts @sgarrett49 @always-chocolate@nadya0128@vegaslodgeprimary@rainbows-and-glitter-bitch@lost-in-wonderland-x @lost-in-wonderland-x@mrs-jughead-jones@nafa1604@moonlight53 @mydelightfulcollectiontyphoon@bookloveaffair @bookloveaffair@reallyshortartist @adellyhatter-blog @savvythetommo@caffeinatedfangirlstuff@riverdalemami@kenken12201 @jaib2-blog @montse-marquez-almarcha@fandom-quote@jishwadunwityou @sleeplessvoids @i-chose-the-fandom-life @jaib2-blog

Unspoken Words Tags:

@kelly27crickett 

[pleasefindthisblog]

If You Find Me, Read Me||Letter #1

Hey. First of all, I'd like to think that you're reading this, and if you are, I'm pretty sure you'll know I wrote this for you; at least I hope so. I don't even know if you still use tumblr, but I'll take my chances by posting it here, because honesty, I don't have the balls to send this directly to you. Kind of lame, huh? I'm sorry. I haven't written you in a very very very long time, but today I found myself thinking about you. I was trying to remember the reason, but I can't seem to find it. But, you know? Lately I've been thinking lot about you. Let me tell you how it started: I have this new best friend; let's call her "Satan". So, the other day we were talking, and she said "hey, I think I like girls too" and I was so excited because I am the only person that knows that, and I wanted to support her, so I told her I'd wear my gay outfit the day after she told me. I'm hoping you know what the gay outfit is, and if you don't, well, I'll tell you. I wore the "taste the rainbow, bitch" blouse, the "and I know you love shrek cause we've watched it twelve times" converse, and just some jeans. I guess that's how I started to think about you. Why? It's obvious, right? I mean, I had your face in my chest for a whole day, but I don't think that was enough to make me want to write this to you, I mean, I've worn that blouse a gazillion times after the breakup, and it never made me want to write anything. Anyway, you've lost a big part of my life, and I'm assuming that so have I. Let me put you to date: •I got a new cat. Her name is Mila. •I had sex, and honestly, it's weird, because I know I'd promised you my v card, now someone else has taken it away, and I'm sorry. •His dick was small; like 10 cm. and honestly, I wish I was kidding. •I had to go through a heartbreak again, but it was not as bad as the one before it. •I have been considering moving with my dad. •Dad asked me if I was gay and I almost died. I panicked and said no, but I'd really like to come out to him. •I am thinking about studying criminology again. •Lately I've been fighting a lot with my mom. •The suicide thoughts are back. •I really love my dad. •I've been watching "that '70s show". •Mom thinks I'm a slut. •Grandma came over to visit us, but she's leaving tomorrow. •I'm still obsessed with cigarettes after sex. •I had a boyfriend, and I cheated on him and left him for the guy who fucked me and left. •I'm still stupid and refuse to stop believing in love. •I've been sadder than usual. Anyway, I don't think you want to know everything, and if I forgot to say something, you'll find out if you keep on reading. Well, today I was in history class with Satan and somehow we started talking about you. I think we were talking about... let's call him "stupidest guy on earth". Okay, we were talking about stupidest guy on earth and I remembered what we'd promised; if you and I are single on November 2023 we'll get married. She thought it was crazy, she asked why, and I just started telling her everything. I told her about the engagement ring, about the sneakers, I told her that the moment you enter my room, it screams your name, I told her about the crowns (I've been painting them on the benches with liquid paper lately), I told her about the messages I sent you that time I was afraid of losing you. She was kind of surprised because we were just fourteen when that happened, I mean, that's pretty intense for some fourteen year olds, but you know what? Now that we're older, if you analyze the story, it was real love. I mean, sure, every girl dreams about her wedding, but I honestly don't think that they meet the person they want to marry and plan their wedding being so young, you know? I think that's why she reacted that way, and I think I would've done the same if I hadn't known what love is like. I don't think Satan has ever had love like ours. I don't think anyone has ever had love like ours. When I got home, I just talked to Satan like I usually do, and at some point, mom and my grandma left, and I was home alone, so I just opened tumblr to watch stuff, and instead of doing that, I opened out conversation and I read all of it. It took me like a million years to get to May 2nd 2016, but I read all of it. It was like a hurricane of emotions. I didn't remember the time I called you to break up with you, when you hid in the bathroom and we were both crying rivers. I was so eager to get to the part of the things I sent you the time I was scared of losing you. Fuck, it was like sadness and happiness all combined. I was listening to "chillin' & cryin'", remember that playlist? It was so cool. But you know what? I think all the time I spent trying to get to the top was worth it. I remembered the way I felt, and everything I wanted to do with you. I imagined our apartment in New York, our kids smoking weed in the couch, one painting, one on the dog's bed, I imagined us holding hands and just walking in snowy Spain, I imagined out bookshelf, all of our CDs, the books we'd write together, I imagined us making hot cocoa, although neither of us like it, I imagined us sitting in front of a huge window watching snow falling, I imagined us getting wasted together, I imagined me taking care of you, I imagined us taking a bubble bath, I imagined us dancing on our wedding, I imagined you holding our baby twins, I imagined us cuddling in bed, I imagined our life together. Sure I've been in love once after you, but now that I look back, it's nothing compared to what it was with you. I'm sorry for all the times I was rude, you never deserved any of it, I'm sorry for every time I made you cry, I'm sorry for not being there for you, I'm sorry for the last conversation we had, I really am sorry. Hope you can forgive me, I love you. Finally, I'd just like to thank you for showing me what true love is, I really hope you find someone better than me to do all that stuff with. Help this post find Callie. xx, Noah.

[voidfilledwithwriting]

Since I cannot tell this to him directly, and I need to let this out, i’m resorting to writing to the void yet again... but first a bit of back story.

While my sister was still attending High School (she has since graduated... yay! a small yet humongous achievement), she got to do a lot of things I wished I had the opportunity to do, but because my parents did not allow me to be in High School in the USA, the one I attended in México did not provide me the same chances. One of those things was to be part of the musical theater programs in her school, and like anything high school related, some sort of drama had to exist.

In this case, the drama was that one of the other girls in the play who everyone hated and who thought too highly of herself was trying to seduce the Band/Choir teacher who was assisting with the play. Said teacher had actually asked my sister about me, and if I was seeing someone, but never went and acted upon it. So, in order to mess with the girl, my siblings and I devised a plan for me to ask him out on a date in front of the girl on the closing day of the play, just to rub it in. 

After a lot of convincing that I should actually date the guy, and that not do it just for petty reasons, I ended up asking him out, and to my surprise, he did say yes. 

By this point I had broken my #1 self imposed rule regarding dating: DO NOT ASK OUT GUYS FIRST. 

I’ve have had really really bad experiences with this in the past, and after much heartbreak and pain, I decided it wasn’t worth it anymore, and that if anyone was interested, they would have to take the first step. 

This time I went in with the expectation that it was going to be only one date, no feelings in the mix, and that it was just trying new things, since this was the first guy I dated outside my religion, as well as the first time I was the one planning the date and all that stuff.

The date goes well and the guy is really smooth that he manages to score a second date the following day. That second date was a bunch of firsts for me, not THE first, but still, a bunch of other firsts. Needless to say, we ended up dating for a while. 

Around our 2nd month anniversary, I started seeing the signs, the same ones I had seen on all other guys, the signs that pointed that things were rapidly going south. I refused to believe it, since I was still kidding myself over the feelings I was/wasn’t developing for him. In order to salvage things and to show him my appreciation, I bought us tickets to see a show together, since we hadn’t done anything “big” for a while.  He was really quiet the days leading to the show, insisting on paying me back for his ticket, but I didn’t let him, I had invited him, it was my idea, I wanted to be nice, and if he wanted to repay me, he could take me out for dinner or something. 

The day of the show came, he was really really serious, and while we walked to the venue after parking the car, he did not make an attempt to hold my hand or get close to me, but I let it slide, I was excited for the show. I did see him enjoy the show and laugh, something I hadn’t seen him do for days, which made me happy and a little relieved to see him be a bit of his normal self. On our way back to the car, since it was dark, I thought he would hold my hand while we walked, which he didn’t do, and he was way too quiet. 

We get to the car, and I can see that something is bothering him, but I cannot bring myself to ask what was happening. Once we reach a red light, he finally gets the courage to tell me what was happening. Something really serious and horrible was happening with his family and was affecting him, and his immediate family. I could only say that I now understood his change.

Then he tells me that he needs to be alone, that he needs space and time to process the whole thing and to help his mom and siblings go through this situation. Inside I’m breaking into thousands of pieces, but I just hear myself telling him that I understand, that he should take all the space and time he needs and that I would still be here, waiting, no matter what. By the way, I still hate that intersection, and I pretty much drive past it every day on my way to work, so I hate it even more, because I can only think of my word, and my huge need to cry while he was telling me all of this, but not letting myself break down in front of him. 

So, while he is trying to break up with me without actually breaking up, I’m just there thinking “Yep, the curse still stands”... 

I have never had a relationship last more than 2 months.

It’s not by choice (well... once it was, but that’s another story), but it seems that all the guys I date seem to have the sudden urge to drop me like a hot potato at the 2 month mark, as if I was an expired carton of milk that had been sitting in the fridge for far too long, and has gotten disgusting and useless. 

My biggest issue with this whole situation was that our “breakup” was never an actual breakup, since a)We never called each other boyfriend and girlfriend, b) We never clarified if we were actually dating or not, despite seeing each other every other day and texting non-stop every day and c)He is so vague.

I still don’t know if he wants me back or if I’m completely out of the race, because he posts the most cryptic messages on FB via those Word Porn memes/images, so I never know if they are directed at me or not, but he knows I check FB too much (it’s worse than any drug addiction), so I believe they might be meant for me to see, but at the same time, he makes zero effort to communicate directly with me.  Dude, I can barely read the lines, let alone in between. 

So right now I wish I could tell him several things like: 1.- I’ve actually broken up with him in my head like 4 different times, because that was the only way I could manage to fall asleep after thinking about him too much

2.- My feelings for him... They change a lot, some days they are just empathy and understanding and my desire to help him as a friend, other are hate and anger over making me cry in too many occasions, but the worst is the most common feeling, the one where I still hold hope that he wants me back as much as I want him, because I still like the SOB, and he cannot leave my thoughts alone. 

3.- To thank him for the good things he made me enjoy. 

4.- To reassure him that despite anything, I can/want/will help. 

5.- To give him the things he lent to me. I never meant to keep his video games or books, and he should have those back. 

So, while I spend yet another night doubting my worth, and whether or not I will ever be that girl that one guy dreams about and smiles when thinking about her, and beams when talking about her, I continue to make my eyes all puffy and red, and wishing to whatever/whomever allows me to do so that one day things turn in my favor.