#so he helped put one in and then he also helped renovate the backyard area into a MUCH nicer space

[muppetjackrackham]

u know how down bad u have to be for josh groban to watch hgtv original content because u saw he was on an episode of a property brothers tv show

[ittybittywaterlily]

hi lol i’m not dead, just. very very unmotivated to make any sort of content LMAO

i’m looking through my drafts (which have been sitting here for 3+ years at LEAST) and past me had some pretty interesting ideas for stories mostly borrower stuff and a few outliers, but lemme see if i can get the gist out of the biggest storyline i have in my drafts here under the read more

this one originally started out around the peak of my activity, so it’s probably the one i’ve put the most thought into

so i have three borrower families, but the last two are the ones i’ve put the most attention into:

- Seam, Patch and Acacia Alcove: the first characters to be conceived. Seam and Patch were siblings who lived under the guidance of their grandpa Acacia, and the family lived behind a shelf in a craft room. With Grandpa Acacia getting in on years and not being able to go out as often, he now teaches his grandchildren the ins and outs of borrowing.

The family is incredibly resourceful, with plates and bowls fashioned out of polymer clay, quilts made out of fabric scraps, and even some furniture carved out of wood by Acacia himself in his younger years.

- Potter, Dawn, and Tisp Tile: To be honest, Tisp was the most thought out in this family. Yes, I named her after the Sleeping Beauty scene where the fairies try making a cake for Aurora and call teaspoons “tisps”. I can only assume Dawn comes from the dish soap and Potter comes from, well, pots.

The family lived underneath the kitchen of an old house, the main entrance being under a loose tile. Tisp is around 6 years old and has a doll made out of a small chess pawn and some yarn. She’s a bit shy, but is a very inquisitive child. She loves helping her mom arrange her findings after borrowing trips, and would love to be as experienced as her someday. The family is very familiar with human customs.

- Aphrodite Tine: Nicknamed and always referred to as “Dite”, she’s a young adult who lives by herself in the house’s (rarely used) upright piano. She’s been living on her own ever since she was separated from her parents mid-move. Having never really come into contact with any other borrowers, she comes off as standoffish and blunt.

Everything she knows about borrowing comes from the bits and pieces of information she learned from her parents and pure trial and error as she tried to survive before eventually settling down in the piano. Tisp and Dite’s stories were meant to be connected.

So the gist of the Dite and Tisp’s story is this: for some reason or another, the Tiles have to move away. Maybe the kitchen is getting a renovation that involves replacing the flooring? Maybe Dawn was seen while borrowing? I never specified the reason when I came up with this story for some reason. But the family has to go, but they can’t bring Tisp with her. She’s a child, for pete’s sake, the stress and potential risks are too great for them to bring their only daughter along on such a trip.

Luckily, they aren’t planning to move far; their destination is the nearby forest just past the house’s backyard. Potter and Dawn decide to leave Tisp with Dite, who they’re acquainted with (and by acquainted, Dawn spotted Dite coming back from a borrowing trip once and pretty much insisted she stay until the next night when Dite mentioned how far her home was from the kitchen). They won’t be long, Potter and Dawn reassure Dite. They’ll be away just until they clear out an area and make a home for themselves, and then Potter will come back for Tisp when everything’s ready.

So begins a series of Dite trying to raise this ball of sunshine with no prior experience, while at the same time, trying to get enough supplies for them both while also trying not to be seen and put both her and the Tile family’s futures in danger.

There were also unfinished oneshots: One of Dite heading back to the (now abandoned) Tile household to search for Tisp’s doll, and another holiday-centric one where Tisp finds out Dite has never celebrated the holiday season and decides to remedy that.

extra notes: originally i was going to have Tisp in the care of the Alcoves, but with the idea of Dite beginning to take form, i guess i decided it’d be more interesting to have Dite and Tisp form some kind of found family thing.  after that, i saw the Alcoves living in a house separate from the one the Tiles and Dite live in, but looking at it now, there really isn’t any reason for all three families to coexist in the same house. i did imagine it to be fairly large, after all. the og borrowers book had several families living in the same house too iirc

speaking of humans... that was actually the part i was most stuck on lmao but i imagined the human family to be composed of a single mom and her two sons. the older one was somewhere in middle school while the younger was around elementary. the most coherent plot point i remember was that Tisp snuck out after an argument with Dite, which would cause her and the younger boy to meet. the younger boy promises to keep the secret of Tisp’s existence a secret, but like most children, he’s not exactly too good at hiding something he’s excited about. his older brother catches on, but he and his mother both brush it off as a case of imaginary friends.

thinking about it now, i could maybe have the older brother tease the younger one to the point where he does reveal Tisp and Dite? hmmm

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (July 6/2021) - Prime Path Renovations

Ponk experiences a setback. He and Foolish discuss Plan 69 together. It’s only a matter of time.

Tommy decides to clear some of the crowded area along the Prime Path by working with Foolish, Antfrost, Ponk, Sam and Bad to tear some unused buildings (and Pride decorations) down. 

After Puffy discovers that her L’Targay was one of the builds destroyed, she decides to retaliate.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tommyinnit

Captain Puffy

Michaelmcchill

---

- Ponk tests out his TNT launcher and attempts to fly

- After one of the test runs goes wrong, Ponk dies in an explosion and loses all his items, including the trident. Sammy Wammy is lost forever

- It may be time to activate Plan 69. As Ponk says, it’s all about leverage...

- Ponk retrieves some items, puts on the creeper head and grabs Warden’s Will, Sam’s sword, from his underground base 

- Later, Foolish comes online and Ponk meets him at the bank, doing his best Sam impression in the creeper head. She informs him that the plan is coming together, but there is a setback (Ponk claims she was testing the security system on the bank with Sam’s voice)

- The time is soon for Ponk’s arm plan. They show Foolish a chest. Foolish opens it and looks at the contents -- the leverage -- with his screen hidden. He’s shocked

Ponk: “Foolish! It was never in vain! I am twenty steps ahead, Foolish! I am a master of chess! I am the master!”

Foolish: “Do you realize that thing -- that is nuts! Does anyone else know about that?”

Ponk: “No! No one knows, Foolish! No one knows!” (laughs)

Foolish: “And that was like -- I guess I may have to ask you later to explain where you got it, but...”

- Foolish gives Ponk some resources

Ponk: “Our time will come. We will meet again. Very soon, hopefully.”

Foolish: “But you realize -- like, what you have, though -- there’s more than just the thing that we could do, like there’s a lot more--”

Ponk: “Foolish! I am a self-centered person, Foolish. It is only for my gain! And maybe yours!”

Foolish: “Yes, but we could also do it for other gains!”

Ponk: “No! No, Foolish. No, Foolish...Some people are meant to be, in the places they are meant to be. Okay? Alright. I will see you -- I’ll see you later, Foolish.”

- They part ways

- Tommy establishes Spud Lore

- He meets Foolish on the Prime Path and asks about BadBoyHalo’s promo codes. Tommy takes down the charity sign

- He gets Foolish to take off his armor as they continue. He has figured out that no one likes rich people

- They make it back to Tommy’s house. Tommy takes his riches out of his Ender Chest and puts them in a chest

- To clear out some room, they start taking down the gingerbread house and Antfrost logs on, telling them to get away. Ant meets them at the house and they talk

- Tommy informs Antfrost that it is no longer Christmas. Ant is willing to help them take down other things, and Tommy claims partial ownership of the gingerbread house

- Next, Tommy sneaks into the Targay. They decide it’s suitable to bulldoze

- Mario interrupts. Tommy informs him that Targay has been “opening soon” for half a year. Yoshi arrives as well, but they quickly start taking it down

- Technoblade logs on just to suggest they tear down the prison

- Tommy asks Ant about his love life and how it’s going

- Tubbo joins the call and informs him of the copious amounts of TNT in his possession

- Tommy cleans up the Definitely Not Blood while Tubbo pokes Ranboo

- He also wants to make a trapped Freebies Chest

- Sam logs on while Tommy burns down the rainbow wall. Since Antfrost is there, it’s allowed

- The biggest challenge is the flag above the Community House, which is immensely prideful and an unfortunate image to destroy. Tommy takes down the Pride Flag. Antfrost simply watches

- They put the blocks in the Freebies Chest

- Next, they go to inspect the prison. Tommy hates the prison. Antfrost states that it would be a conflict of interest for him, since he works there

- Sam appears at the prison entrance and tells them to stop. Foolish tries to bargain with scaffolding

- Foolish puts on Sam’s head and they face off with Warden Sam. Tommy puts on his own creeper head and proclaims that they should get rid of this prison, as the prison system is flawed! 

- Foolish brought pot. Antfrost brought weednip

- Tommy and Foolish go through the prison entrance portal and it gets deactivated by an explosion

- Tommy has a flint and steel and Sam begs them to try and re-light it. Tommy has leverage. Sam says he has something on him that Tommy would like. Tommy takes the deal and they go back through the portal

- Sam gives Tommy stacks of TNT and the group heads off again to the obsidian Nether Portal cube

- They start deactivating it and Ponk logs on

- Tommy takes down Dream’s honeymoon resort (the iron door structure)

- Sam suggests they take down Ninja’s house, but Tommy protests. This is iconic. He tries to call Ninja

- Foolish starts taking it down to test how it feels. They explode the rest and Tommy keeps the bed for good luck

Tommy: “i’m not gonna Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Ninja Fortnite Blevins, Sam! It just wouldn’t work! I’m no girlboss. I’m merely a manloser.”

- Tommy goes to mine dirt in sorrow. Ponk speaks to them, arriving in his Robin outfit. They explore the invisible staircase

- Next, they go to take down Ponk’s pumpkin trap

- Foolish wonders what would happen if they tried to kill the dragon. He says if you kill the dragon, you get “XD” in your name and get Creative mode. Tommy doesn’t want to risk it

- Foolish kisses himself on his elbow. Self-love

- Antfrost’s eyes turn red from the weednip and he hands some to everyone. Foolish gets high and turns into Batman

- Tommy towers up and gets rid of the last of the Y:7 sign. They start talking about Tinder

- Tommy gets Phil to join VC, asking him to tell them about Big Russ

- He calls Bad to ask about the YouTooz codes. Bad says to ask Sam. Sam does not know

- They go to the Hall of Fame and debate killing Drista’s dog. Drista’s dog dies

- Everyone goes to the graveyard by Punz’s backyard and stand on the grave. Foolish says it would be very spiritual for Tommy to blow up his own grave

- Tommy suggests they bring back the Socializing Club. Ponk says it’s the essential oils shop

- Sam runs over to blow up Wilbur’s ball (owned by Tommy) but Tommy refuses, saying he would kill Sam if he did

- Tommy leaves the group to go get some more dirt

- Ponk tells Sam that he lost the trident today as well as all his things

- They chat some more and Sam tells Foolish that Bad is "on grinder.” Foolish asks him if he’s verified on it. Sam asks if he’s spoken with Skeppy about it

- Tommy joins the VC again with a “’sup, bitches.” Sam tells Tommy that Bad is “on grinder for the experience”

- Tommy says he wants more people to be on the server more often and Foolish and Sam start comparing their server statistics. Tommy has 13 days on the server. Sam has 95 days

- Tommy concludes that he must be Foolish’s father figure and calls Foolish “son”

- Once Tommy leaves, the three go to destroy the ball but Phil joins VC to tell them that if they did that, Wilbur would cry, so they don’t 

- Bad tells Ant they should go to Foolish’s summer home to destroy the things that aren’t being used there. They discuss what to destroy and destroy a red tulip

- Then they destroy Ponk’s essential oils shop 

- Bad and Ant argue over who gets claim to Alyssa’s house. They go around various areas debating what to destroy

- They go to L’manburg and take down Fundy’s election whitehouse

- Afterwards, they go down into L’manhole and clear the Blood Vines off of the flag

- Foolish and Antfrost go back to Las Nevadas

- Puffy has heard that some damage has been done. She’s been told that there were several people there, including a certain muffinhead, a furry, and most importantly, a child (and also Foolish and Sam)

- Puffy turns on the slow Able Sisters Theme and logs on, immediately seeing the cleared-out L’Targay plot

Puffy: “What in the corporation is this shit?!”

- She walks down the Prime Path, surveying the damage, until she sees that they got rid of the flag as well

- There is now room for retribution. This seems to have been targeted at her

- Puffy goes to Tommy’s house. She could either destroy Tommy’s base, or cover it in rainbows...or...

- She spies the Big Innit Hotel in the background. They could take it a step further...

- She pulls up the stream footage for receipts. She sees Tommy start to destroy the gingerbread house and learns that Antfrost stopped it. Puffy is enraged

- She wonders what Tommy’s favorite tower is and makes her way to the Disruption Tower

- Puffy gets disrupted by the Disruption Tower and then takes part of it down. She gets Disrupted for a few minutes mining before finding out that it was the wrong tower, and it was the Power Tower that was Tommy’s favorite

Puffy: “Blackstone? I thought Tommy hated blackstone.”

- After walking past it several times, Puffy finally identifies the right tower as the Power Tower

- She gets some TNT and explodes Tommy’s house. While storing the dropped items in chests, she notices that Tommy has Schlatt’s bones

- She still remembers when she was living out of a turkey and the turkey was destroyed. While others helped, Tommy was the one who incited it. The others will get repercussions as well though

- Puffy builds Tommy’s house into a mini L’Targay so that when Tommy uses his house, he will finally be using L’Targay as well

- Next, Puffy takes down Antfrost’s gingerbread house and comes across the bathwater chamber 

- She goes to Foolish’s summer home to put mustaches on all the statues, but is disappointed to find that they already have mustaches. She starts putting a brown hat on the sphinx when Quackity joins VC

- Quackity asks why Puffy is putting hats on all of Foolish’s builds, and Quackity tells her to leave him alone. Puffy informs him that Foolish is her son. They go back and forth about Puffy’s full name (Puff Big Daddy)

- Quackity is not BadBoyHalo’s mistress

- Puffy tells him about Tommy blowing up all the rainbows, so she blew up Tommy’s house. They chat a bit

- Foolish logs on, Puffy asks him why he helped in the destruction of Targay and Foolish says it was character development

- Then Quackity tells Puffy about how Tommy got exiled. Namely, that Tubbo betrayed him (he does an impression of Tubbo). Foolish sneaks around behind them

Puffy: “Do you think it would be wrong to kill my son on the server?”

Puffy: “Like do I pull a Philza?”

- Quackity says not to even think about touching Foolish. Puffy invites Foolish to the call and Quackity tells Foolish that he is Quackity’s beloved and then starts talking about metabolism articles

- They continue chatting. Puffy shows Foolish the top hats and Foolish says they actually used to have hats not too long ago

- Foolish shows off his Batman skin and Quackity becomes the Joker. They roleplay until the Joker suggests they have a threesome and abruptly cease the bit

- Foolish and Puffy head over to Las Nevadas. Foolish shows Quackity the progress he’s made on the sand and the hotel. They keep doing the Batman impressions, now with an added Bane impression

Quackity: Imagine Bane and the Joker kissing

Foolish: Can we do that?

- They talk quite a bit about Wattpad

- Foolish changes into his Superman skin

- Quackity leaves and Foolish and Puffy continue to talk in Las Nevadas

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[kassies-take]

Being Sam Uley’s little sister and liking Leah Clearwater includes:

Sam and Emily liked each other for a while but didn’t start dating until their sophmore year

SAM AND LEAH NEVER DATED

You are really close to Leah as you both would be in the same classes

You didn’t realize you had feelings for her until your junior year.

You talked to Sam about your feelings at Emily’s place when you were visiting

Sam is happy for you and Emily tries to convince you to confess to Leah.

You shyly come out to the Clearwaters when you were over for dinner, but didn’t confess that you liked Leah

Seth was bubbly and cheery about it

Harry and Sue gave you proud smiles

Leah popped a bottle of champagne with her parents approval

Sam shifts a month later and disappears. This worried Emily and your mother.

You didn’t know he was missing until your mom went to the Clearwater’s to get you home.

You were at Leah’s. After coming out you flirted a lot and it sparked something in Leah. Harry and Sue were at a council meeting and Seth was at Jacob’s place. You and Leah had the house to yourself, that ended with a make out session with Leah pressing you against the wall with her hands on your waist.

The make out session was stopped when Harry and Sue came back with your mother beside them. Sue and Harry weren’t surprised but your mother was not happy.

She yelled at you for kissing Leah when Sam was gone, but the subtext wasn’t that she was mad that you didn’t know where Sam was but that you were kissing Leah, a girl.

This angered you and you ran out into your backyard shaking. You shifted, your fur a bit lighter than Sam’s but dark enough to be considered black.

You ran off to the forest whimpering in your wolf form. It took awhile to stop crying by then the whole wolf thing was confusing you. You laid down in a clearing.

You turned your head once you heard Sam’s voice. When you turned you were met with a much larger and darker wolf.

It takes about a week for both you and Sam to turn back into human. You both sneak back into the house and you’re more likely to stay isolated especially from your mom.

Old Quil stops by to check on your mom when he shakes yours and Sam’s hands

Harry, Billy and Old Quil stop by later that night and invites you both to a council meeting. There you both learn that the legends and stories of your tribe is true. Unfortunately there isn’t any information about female shifters.

It was agreed upon that it will all be kept a secret as well as to look out for Paul and Jared as they showed signs of phasing as well

Sam went to apologize to Emily for his disappearanceband came back to the house missing Emily a lot more than before. He asked the council in which you both learned about imprinting.

You asked Harry about Leah a lot. And eventually asked you brother and Alpha if you could talk to Leah.

Sam disagrees at first but you don’t give up telling him that you kissing Leah then running away is not something good.

You reassure him that you won’t tell Leah about shifting and that he can be there too incase you’re not able to control yourself

Sam allows it if he goes and if you both worked on shifting

Sam tells Emily everything before you can talk to Leah. Sam moves out and you go with him explaining the anger you had for your mom when you shifted for the first time. You and him renovate the basement together to make your room.

You still aren’t able to talk to Leah as Jared and Paul shift leaving Sam, Alpha, and you, Beta, to teach them.

Emily and Sam have an argument one day while you were in the basement. Emily brings up Joshua and how he disregarded you mother’s feeling just how Sam is disregarding your feelings for Leah. Sam shifts scaring her face.

Jared comes to calm Sam down as you bring Emily to the hospital saying she was mauled by a bear.

While she is at the hospital you are there with her, you leave to get food from the vending machine. When you come back you run into Leah

She’s mad that you ghosted her and doesn’t give you the time of day and is only there for Emily.

You tell Leah that you know you did wrong by not contacting her. You tell her about how angry your mom was and you didn’t want to risk coming out to the whole reservation.

Leah tried really hard to ignore you but you’re the only one on her mind lately. You’re able to ask Harry about Leah every time you see him but a Harry wouldn’t say a thing about you if Leah asked. So you felt really guilty.

You get up from your chair on Emily’s left side and make your way to Leah. You grab her hand and beg for her to forgive you. Thus making eye contact with her and imprinting

Emily wakes up and asks for Sam. You hesitate to leave because of Leah but having a telepathic link to your brother you know where he is.

You told Sam and the council about imprinting on Leah. Old Quil is uncomfortable with it but what can he do we can’t control who we imprint on.

You slowly hang out with Leah more telling her about vampires and the legends. She hasn’t seen your wolf form yet. You were building up to show her, when Victoria came around causing Embry and Jacob to phase.

Bella really angers you as she constantly come on the res and is leading Jacob on

She comes and confronts you and the pack when she’s at Jacob’s. She brings up the rumors about Sam starting a cult and that you were in the said cult so you could have sex with the boys.

You’re shaking and taking deep breaths but in the end you ended up shifting. You run towards Bella getting really close when Jake pounces on you.

As you both fight it off, Sam orders Embry, Jared and Paul to take Bella back to Emily’s place. Jared and Paul bet on you while Embry bets on Jacob.

Sam has to shift as he’s the only one who could stop you because you’d tear the other boys apart.

Jared and Paul win as one of Jacob’s comes back with a huge bruise on his arm and you were fine

You ignored Bella when you got back to Emily’s. You angerly took two muffins and stomped towards the basement.

It’s a bit tiring hearing about Jacob’s thoughts on Bella and even worse having to listen to Paul’s sex life. Then again they all tease you about Leah.

Harry has a heart attack from Victoria and it causes Leah and Seth to phase.

You’re left to run after Leah to help her learn. She’s disheveled that her dad is gone and it takes awhile to calm her down.

You go to grab tank tops and shorts you hid in the area, shift back and change before instructing Leah how to shift back

When Leah shifts back, all you can do is stare at her naked body. Leah is embarrassed and tells you to turn away

After she puts on her clothes you turn back smiling at her. You give her a quick kiss before holding her hand and bringing her back home.

You and Leah are as think as thieves. Even going as far as trading patrol times with your pack brothers so you could be with Leah.

Leah is very fast. So when Victoria is chased onto Quileute borders the whole pack is behind Leah.

Leah goes in for the kill when everyone’s mind loses concentration as Paul pushes Emmet off the border.

Leah gets a hold Victoria’s arm even managing to tear it off. But due to the distraction Leah is pushed into a tree with Victoria taking her arm back.

You reach Leah to see if she is okay. She really angry that Victoria got away. She blames the Cullens.

Bella comes over again in which you shift and run into the forest in your backyard. Leah goes after you not before telling Bella off.

The pack explain to Bella that you hold a grudge and Leah sticks to you so she’s not a fan of Bella either. The grudge is about being closeted as most people on the res wouldn’t accept hers and Leah’s relationship so you have to listen about all the sex rumors that come with you and Leah being in the pack.

Jacob invites Bella to the bonfire, you’re just angerily eating your grub and glaring at her. Leah is with you 24/7, as Billy tells the Legends once again.

Paul and Jared love when Bella comes over because you end up fighting Jacob, always in human form though. Punches, shoves and kicks.

When the newborn army arrives you have to train with the Cullen’s you take in everything to help Sam with a plan. You’re more tactical than Sam as he tends to take awhile to make decisions without you.

When the newborn army arrived you and Leah have each other’s backs. Sam would occasionally ask through telepathy if you were okay. It got annoying but he is your older brother first before he is pack alpha.

No one gets injured cause you were there when the hiding newborn appears and you take him down with Leah.

You didn’t care for Bella’s wedding invitation and you aren’t going to go.

The pack has some down time while Bella is away. You and Leah would be at Emily’s making out in your room or at the Clearwater’s making out in her room.

It was a little hard to cuddle as you both would overheat. But you both manage.

You still have to run patrol and the pack especially Paul loves the free subscription to yours and Leah’s mind because he states “free lesbian porn”

You’re uncomfortable, Sam is uncomfortable. Leah is uncomfortable. Seth is uncomfortable. Everyone is uncomfortable

Paul gets a broken jaw from Leah before Seth pulls her back because Sam was holding you back.

When Jacob splits off to make his own pack, Seth goes with him, with Seth going Leah went, you were devastated .

You wanted to be with Leah but you also hated the Cullens just as much as you hated Bella.

You told Sam you were sitting out the fight and would only go to keep Leah safe.

For two weeks you were missing Leah.

When Sam’s pack went to attack the Cullens you really only protected Leah like you said you would. You could care less about Bella and the Cullens.

You and Leah plan to break off into your own pack, and move to California for a bit to go to college.

Then Bella’s daughter brings an army of old leeches. The packs join together. You and Sam have a brother-sister moment not knowing if you’d survive the Volturi.

You have a moment with Leah talking about how much you meant to one another

You stand next to Sam and Leah when the Volturi arrive

When the Volturi leave, you and Leah are ready to leave as well taking the time to say goodbye to the pack, and family.

Your mom comes to tell you that she didn’t accept that you were with Leah because she was scared you’d come out and in the future regret the decision.

You tell her even if that did happen you and Leah were still valid if that decision was made.

When you and Leah aren’t in school you both travel. You were both comfortable with the thought that you both wouldn’t have kids.

[yourclownpal]

A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp

[gretchensinister]

I’m Your Boogeyman

A tense summer. A hot night. The need for touch, and the need to stop worrying about what’s normal.

A man in his late twenties is living in an apartment with a boogeyman, but naturally he doesn’t know that. The boogeyman is wildly obsessed with him, though, and one night when Zander lets his leg hang over the side of the bed, they finally meet. And a lot more besides. Classic meet-cute, right? 13,314 words. A whole lemon.

*** 

Zander had always run hot. That was the problem, and there was really nothing to be done about it. Oh, sure, there were mundane ways of addressing the issue—sleeping in just his shorts, getting a fan, making a dry cold-pack with rice and a couple of old t-shirts. He told himself if he ever got rich he’d set the air conditioning to whatever he honestly needed it to be at night and to hell with everyone else.

But right now he wasn’t rich. He lived in an apartment that was the west side of the second floor of a massive, venerable Victorian, and while there were many lovely details about it that had survived the renovations that made it into four homes instead of one, the large windows in his bedroom did not seem quite so lovely when they gathered every bit of the sun’s heat on long summer evenings. Even insulated blackout curtains didn’t do much to help his bedroom stay cool, which both baffled and frustrated him. The reason he’d had such curtains in the first place was because he’d lived in Texas for a few years before moving much farther north. They’d been effective there! But then again, a lot of buildings in Texas, even old, shitty ones, were built so that the people in them could easily shave a few degrees off the interior temperatures. If you didn’t do that, you just died.

Zander would concede that the place he lived now regularly experienced long periods where if your house didn’t retain as much heat as possible, that would be the situation where you just died.

Still, when he tried to sleep during the summer in his current apartment, he very much resented that the original architect had been so good at their job. If he had just needed to be a little cooler to sleep well, maybe running hot wouldn’t have been so much of a problem. Fans did work wonders when much of his body was bare, and the rice bag in the freezer was extraordinarily soothing when laid across his wrist where his all-too-warm blood rushed by so near to his skin. But his needs were not just about temperature. Zander needed to be cool to be comfortable as he slept, but to feel safe enough to sleep in the first place, he needed to be covered.

He wished he could let go of this feeling, he really did. He’d even tried to slowly ease himself out of the habit: falling asleep with one arm outside the sheet, then both arms, then his chest, but habits and instincts were harder to break than that. Whenever he woke up, usually from being too hot, he would be completely wrapped, even tangled, in the sheet.

The thing was, he suspected he might have been able to succeed in learning how to sleep without covers if it hadn’t been for…something…about his bedroom. Nothing had happened in it to make him feel unsafe. (Nothing much had happened in it at all, to his great disappointment, if he was being honest.) But there was something undefinable about it. After the sun went down, it always seemed a little darker than it should have been, no matter what kind of lightbulbs Zander put in the lamps. Sometimes, as he was getting into bed, the quiet of the room seemed expectant. Which was a bananas thing to think or say to anyone, so he didn’t.

He had asked his landlady about the history of the house. She’d only shrugged. “A few people have died here, I guess. Nothing crazy like a murder. But people mostly died at home back in the day.” When he’d asked her, she’d been out in the backyard, chain-smoking. “If you can get or fake some halfway decent ghost evidence, I’ll knock fifty bucks off your rent. Love to know there’s an afterlife with a habit like mine. But if you find a way to quit that sticks, I’ll knock a hundred bucks off everybody’s rent.”

It had been an unhelpful conversation, to say the least. He couldn’t stop thinking about paying for her cigarettes for weeks.

Anyway, he didn’t really believe that his room was haunted, nor that a standard bedsheet would prove a barrier to any sort of ghost. Whatever was off about the space probably had to do with old walls falling slightly out of true, and wiring that was somehow incompatible with modern technology (it was not his area of expertise). Or maybe he subconsciously hated being alone so much that he couldn’t get totally comfortable in the room he was alone in.

I wouldn’t have been such a big deal, except for the heat that made his compulsion almost unbearable.

And what good could it possibly do? What protection did a bedsheet possibly offer if there really was something malevolent about? (Which there wasn’t. Couldn’t be.)

***

It was a creature of instinct more than intellect. This was mainly due to the fact that it didn’t exist continuously. While it was intelligent, it was difficult to understand the world and form opinions about anything in it when it didn’t have a solid form most of the time.

It vastly preferred existence to non-existence, though, and the hours it was most coherent all took place in the presence of its otherbeing. It was aware that there were many otherbeings, even sensed that it existed because of otherbeings, but distinct memories were a luxury of form. It hadn’t had a form for a long time before this otherbeing moved into its territory, so it didn’t have many clear memories. When coherence was brief, only the broadest strokes of physicality returned—limbs, teeth, eyes. Only the memories, only the thoughts, necessary for survival. But when coherence lasted longer, as a more stable state—as it did when its otherbeing was close by—that was when it gained details: skin texture, claws, memory, continuity.

Its otherbeing was often close by, and the creature had become, to put it simply, obsessed. It knew every different way the otherbeing’s breath sounded, it knew every subtle variation of the otherbeing’s heartbeat, it knew the way the otherbeing smelled just before washing and just after, it knew every scent that was just the otherbeing, separate from anything the otherbeing brought in from the world outside. It knew the sound of the otherbeing’s voice, and could pick it out from any of the cacophony of sounds the otherbeing was often surrounded by, even though, for a very long time, the otherbeing rarely spoke at all. It knew the way the otherbeing moved, all the fantastic shapes the otherbeing was made of, the colors of the otherbeing’s skin and hair in moonlight and starlight and streetlamp light and indoor lamp light (even if it was uncomfortable to observe anything in such brightness).

All this knowing felt mostly normal to the creature, though the way it brought it so much joy did not seem typical—but then, there were no others like itself present to confirm its strangeness.

But maybe that was better! If it was a creature that was not supposed to feel this way about its otherbeing, it would rather not know. It did guess that some kind of line had been crossed, because it had spent enough attention to know that this otherbeing was a he-otherbeing named Zander. Sometimes the creature would whisper the name to itself, when it and Zander were in the places that felt most right: Zander sleeping in his bed, the creature curled on the floor beneath it.

Sometimes, the nights like that were so lovely and peaceful that all the creature’s instincts faded away, and it even fell asleep during the precious hours of darkness.

But the real line that it had crossed had been more recent, only several months ago (how sophisticated it felt for thinking of months rather than moon-cycles! So proud in its knowledge of Zander’s world!). It had still been winter, then—a wonderful season for the creature, when the nights were longer and Zander was more often indoors. But inevitably, the nights grew shorter, and the creature felt terribly, terribly cheated. Not of coherence. In a strict sense, it could survive with very little of that. But of its time with Zander. And in defiance of all its scant knowledge of itself, of the rules of its existence, it held itself together through the slow flare of sunrise, huddling in the greying dark under Zander’s bed, saying his name over and over again. It hurt to do this, and that was a warning, wasn’t it, that the creature was endangering itself? But Zander was still sleeping so peacefully, with such good deep breaths, such a steady heartbeat. How could it be expected to fade in the middle of that?

And in a thoughtless and sublime expression of desire, it had clawed its way up the side of the bed in the searing sunrise. Indirect, weak winter sunlight fell from the large windows upon Zander’s face, and the creature had thought it looked like the ultimate contradiction: the sun, but safe and beautiful.

What an irrevocable instant! Its being flooding with unfamiliar emotions, its physical body burning with pain it could never have imagined—it would have howled if the sun had not forced its dissolution in the very next moment.

That night, when it formed again, the memory of Zander’s sunlit face had returned immediately, sharper than any teeth it could form after such a harrowing morning. And it curled its vague form into a tight ball and held its head and shook.

Before, it had known that it lived and cohered because of Zander—the fine aether of his unease, the miasma of his nightmares: these were ultimately its daily bread. But now it also knew that it lived for Zander.

It had no idea how to face a craving that could draw it into the sun.

For a time, all it could do was continue as before, though its scrutiny became bolder and more reckless—enough to glut it on its actual sustenance, but doing nothing to appease its other pangs.

It took to exploring Zander’s bedroom as soon as it got dark, storing up memories, storing up knowledge.

It would stand in the shower behind the curtain, smelling the shampoo, the soap. What would it be like to use the shower, as if it was a being like Zander?

It would watch Zander watching movies on his computer in the living room, standing just inside the doorway of the bedroom. It would have the courage to approach and watch him from behind the couch soon enough—and that was but another sign of its derangement. The risk of being seen would be so great, and being seen was dangerous. It would…it would produce too much fear to process, and risked driving Zander away.

The problem with that was that it couldn’t know when another otherbeing would move in, and it could be consigning itself to nonexistence for a very long time. But the bigger problem was that it didn’t want to lose Zander, and if it did…it found it didn’t really care if any otherbeings ever moved into its territory or not.

The sun continued to gnaw away at the night, but not many days before it consumed over half the day, something wonderful happened. Zander started staying home much, much more. He started using his computer to talk to other otherbeings much more, giving the creature more of his voice to listen to and remember. His dreams and nightmares grew more powerful than ever, and the creature thought that if it had been normal for its kind, it would have been the most content of them all: strong, well-nourished, with peculiar otherbeing things to observe all the time.

Unfortunately, despite gaining much happiness from this new routine, it started to dwell on what it could not have of Zander.

It could not touch. It could not taste. There were rules to its existence that were truly impossible for it to break. Bearing the touch of the sun was excruciating, but there might be reasons for a creature like it to do so—moving from hiding place to hiding place, perhaps. But other choices didn’t result in an action and some accompanying pain. They resulted in nothing at all, as if the creature had not even thought of moving.

For example: the otherbeing was never to be touched with the creature’s mouth. The creature understood this. It didn’t feed with its mouth, and didn’t have a digestive system like that of a continuously corporeal creature. Bites and mouth-touches might produce sustaining terror, but as in the case of being seen, this terror might be enough to overwhelm a creature, or it might be enough to drive a creature’s otherbeing away. Mouth details, like fangs, were for…well, this particular creature had no idea what they could be for, when it tried to think about it logically. Just another instinct. (Though this one could be overcome, at least partially. For a while now, when the creature re-formed at dark, it had been experimenting with how small it could make its fangs. It had managed to make them small enough to easily speak like Zander did, which was interesting, and exciting, even, until the creature remembered that it would never have the need to speak this way.)

But the strongest instinct of all, and the strongest prohibition, was this: no matter how perfect the opportunity, no matter how dark the night, no matter how deeply the otherbeing was asleep, the creature could not touch any part of the otherbeing unless two conditions were met. The first condition: only parts of the otherbeing that weren’t covered by bed-fabric could be touched. The second condition: only parts of the otherbeing that extended over the edge of the bed could be touched.

The creature had lost count of the times it had stood at the side of Zander’s bed and tried to make itself reach out—to touch his face, to finally learn the texture of his skin and hair! But it could never move. It didn’t matter if its muscles were newly formed or if they were hours old, if it tried to concentrate on the action or move without thinking about it. Nothing. More than anything else, this prohibition seemed inherent to its very being. It was the kind of creature it was because of this.

Did any others of its kind feel that this was cruelty? That their existence as substantial beings depended on bonding with one particular otherbeing, and yet it was all too simple for this otherbeing to remain forever untouchable?

Then again, perhaps it was not such a problem for others. Perhaps Zander was an exceptionally careful otherbeing.

***

It was August, and Zander was pretty sure he was losing it. He understood that this was not a particularly unique feeling, but it still wasn’t good. His vague weird feeling about his bedroom had progressed into a full feeling of being watched, which occasionally hit him in the bathroom and the living room, as well. He would swear that sometimes his things had been moved, just slightly, as if someone had been picking them up and putting them down for some reason. None of the lights seemed to be as bright as they should be.

He toyed with several explanations, and tested each of them. Could there be another person secretly living in his apartment? A thorough search produced nothing. Could he be experiencing carbon monoxide poisoning? The two detectors he ordered online showed the same very low reading. Could he be developing a diagnosable mental illness, not just “losing it”? He was a few years past the average onset age of schizophrenia for men, but times were weird. This one wasn’t as easy to rule out, but he didn’t have any family with the illness, and as far as he could tell, he didn’t have any symptoms during the daytime. At least, no symptoms that were notable, considering the isolation. He decided he couldn’t dwell on this and if he saw or heard anything really off, he’d follow some advice he’d found and try recording it on his phone.

His phone had acquired a few new apps during the whole investigation. An infrasound detector told him that he was not being affected by infrasound. A sleep monitoring app remained unused.

It remained unused because even if he knew he wasn’t being haunted, because ghosts didn’t exist, it still seemed…foolish, somehow, to pay extra attention to whatever might be happening while he was asleep. He was waking up every morning, after all. But then again, how was he supposed to find answers if there were means of investigation that he was deliberately ignoring?

Return to the first premise: he was simply losing it.

He entertained the possibility that he was losing it and there was something strange in the neighborhood, so to speak, but this only led to more questions about how he was supposed to respond. He certainly wasn’t going to pay for a psychic cleansing over Zoom. Not with what only amounted to weird feelings, anyway.

But probably there was nothing weird going on, not in a supernatural sense, anyway! He was just losing it because the only people he could justify seeing face to face were his coworkers, and screw them, if he couldn’t be around his friends he certainly wasn’t going to voluntarily be around not-friends for eight hours a day; he was losing it because even if he could be around his friends what he wanted was to be held and sure everyone was queer and cool but he’d never been able to ask before all this so why did he think he was going to be able to ask afterwards, when he would doubtless be even weirder than five months (and counting) had made him?

And he was losing it because in order to keep whatever it was, he needed to sleep, and that was so often the most difficult thing about his day, because of the heat!

So he lay awake in his astounding solar oven of a bedroom, staring up at the ceiling with the sheet pulled up to his neck, while his fan failed to act on his sweat and his little animal thoughts chased their tails in his mind.

I need to be cool. I need to be covered. I need to be held. I need to be cool. I need to be covered. I need to be held.

Somehow, he always drifted off eventually.

And one night, he drifted off with the sheets less firmly anchored under the mattress than they usually were. As he floated off into sleep, the higher order of his thoughts that insisted on the necessity of covering quieted well before his body’s insistence on reaching a comfortable temperature. He shifted and turned, gradually freeing himself from the sheet, slipping ever deeper into dreams. With the sheet discarded, his body discovered one more helpful adjustment: with his leg hanging off the mattress, the airflow around it helped his body release heat very well.

***

A pounding heart, a dry mouth, even overwhelmed tears—these are all things that belong to continuous bodies. But the creature could tremble, and it did, even as it reached out, hardly able to believe its good luck, hardly able to believe this incredible blessing that had finally been bestowed on it.

***

It was from an instantly forgotten dream and to the unfamiliar, unexpected, and uncanny sensation of a light, cool grip on his ankle that Zander awoke. Fuck, I knew it! was his first thought, followed by a nervous, panicky negation. This couldn’t be happening. This was the remnant of a dream. In a few seconds he’d realize he’d misinterpreted the sensation.

Moments passed, huge moments where the grip on his ankle didn’t change at all, and Zander soon felt like he’d never been so awake in his life. And then the…hand? It did feel like a hand, with fingers on one side and a thumb on the other—had he missed someone living in his house somehow? The hand began to slowly move up his calf. Carefully. Gently. It was…it was honestly a caress, and Zander had no idea if that made it better or worse, more or less likely to be a hallucination. But the fingers and thumb were long enough that even at the midpoint of his calf, they almost wrapped around his leg entirely, and that meant that this hand was definitely not human.

This was bad, probably, but it was also something that he was sure no one expected him to just put up with and carry on through, and that felt like a relief. His mind cleared. First thing: determine if this was a hallucination. He lifted his phone from the windowsill, thumbed open the camera, and aimed it at his knee, where one…claw? Oh God. One claw was carefully poking at the scar from a childhood bike accident. The screen showed nothing he could see at this angle, as the only light in the room came from the phone itself or the line between the curtains where the streetlights shone faintly in. He tapped the screen.

The auto-flash worked just as it was supposed to. It also completely disoriented Zander, but not before he caught a glimpse of a gaunt humanoid figure with a mouth far too large and full of fangs crouched by the side of his bed. One or both of them gave a horrible yelp, and Zander was mentally confronting the possibility of being eviscerated when he realized the creature’s hand was still wrapped around his knee, unmoving.

***

Awful, awful, the sudden light! Zander must have seen it, but it was an accident, it was not breaking its rules. There was no light-pain anymore, in fact the light-pain had probably been a good thing, as healing used up much of the energy it was getting from Zander’s fear right now. And so it did not let go. This might be its only chance to touch Zander, and it was not yet satisfied, only ever more curious from its touches so far. His leg was so much softer than the bottom of his foot, and covered with hair, too. It was fascinating, and it suspected that this was far from the only fascinating thing about Zander’s body.

But it was so unlikely now that Zander would indulge it by leaving the bed. Or! If he did leave the bed he would leave forever, and there’d be no point in having a form ever again because there wouldn’t be Zander to watch and listen to and touch.

Unconsciously, the creature gripped Zander’s knee more tightly. Was there anything it could do? Was tonight to be the culmination of all its hopes, and the threshold of an existence of nothing but void? Had it been worth it to face the sun, when it would all end like this?

But! Oh! This was the power of memory. It had faced the sun. The things it felt were different. It was different. It could do things that were unaccounted for in the rules of its existence.

***

The image on the phone screen showed a dark gray entity with a huge mouth full of fangs, a collection of slits for a nose, two very large round eyes, and pointed, animal-like ears on the sides of its head that were probably bigger than Zander’s hand. It had a long skinny neck and long skinny arms connected to a torso that was, probably, also long and skinny. It didn’t have any hair. It looked very solid, blocking the view of his desk in the picture like any real thing in that location would. It also kind of looked…surprised?

You and me both! Zander thought. He found he had no idea what to do now that he had evidence that there was really something in his room. Something that was still holding onto his leg. Something that was, in fact, an actual fucking monster!

No, no, no, part of his brain chanted, a desperate negation, a call for the world to be as it had been. It’s not a monster, there’s no such thing as monsters, people see things and misidentify them all the time, it’s usually something like a starving bear with mange, that’s what this must be, a starving bear with mange, something that at least EXISTS—

Zander stifled a wild laugh. This wasn’t a bear of any kind, for one thing, and for another, how would it possibly be better if a starving bear with mange was in his apartment and holding onto his leg? That would be an almost certainly fatal situation. A monster, though? Well, who the hell knew?

“Zander. Please don’t leave.”

He dropped his phone. That had to be—that had to be the monster talking to him. And it knew his name, knew how to speak English, and knew how to be polite. And it was asking him to stay? Okay. Okay. Sure. This gave him something to work with.

“Why do you want me to stay?” he croaked out. “Are you going to kill me?”

“NO! No, no, no! I only want to touch you! I’ve waited for so long, and this was my first chance!”

“Wh—what do you mean, so long? How long?”

A short pause. “Since you became my otherbeing. My…human. Since you first dreamed in my territory.”

Zander’s mind raced. Did it mean since he’d moved into the apartment? That was almost four years ago! “Why…was this your first chance?”

“Because of the rules,” the monster said. “You have to be asleep. You have to be uncovered. You have to be off the mattress.”

Just as he’d always suspected. The part of his mind that had suggested the mangy starving bear tried to tell him this situation was weird and incomprehensible and was sending him slipping and spinning into totally unknown territory. But the thing was, if he accepted the scenario totally and completely as something that was happening, it was easy to understand. “Do you live under my bed?”

“Yes, or at least I did. As I got more and more curious about you I moved around more. I learned many things. And now that you’re around more, I have more energy to keep my form. I can remember more things.”

“You don’t always have a body? Where does your energy come from?”

“My energy comes from your nightmares and your waking fears, though there is a danger of waking fear being overwhelming. I am not sure how I withstood your reaction to seeing me. There is a correct level of energy for taking a form at night. It takes much more energy to maintain a form against light. It is…by instinct it is impossible to keep a form in sunlight. It is very painful. But I did it once.”

Zander stared up at the ceiling, which he could now make out the edges of thanks to the faint light from the streetlamps. He might be feeling like he was starting to understand this situation, but looking at the monster again—yeah, that would really loosen his grip on things. “So you…feed off my fear, but only a little at a time. You can only exist in the dark. You live under my bed. You can’t touch any part of my body that’s on the mattress and covered. You honestly sound like a childhood boogeyman, except that I’m not a child.”

“It is hard to remember, but I believe I came to exist because of a child. When a child dreamed in this room. I think there may have been other children, also. Others of my kind. But formlessness erases memory, and I was formless for what I think was many years. But then you came. And now I’m no child’s boogeyman. I’m your boogeyman. Only, only yours.”

Zander took a slow breath. Two things were occurring to him.

One: this boogeyman had kind of a nice voice, low and a little scratchy. It sounded like it had a bit of an accent, too, but that was no doubt because of the fangs and maybe—maybe never speaking to anyone else before? That seemed unbearably sad, but maybe it was normal for its…species? Kind?

Two: Maybe he didn’t have as good a grip on this situation as he had hoped.

“Do you have a name?” Zander asked. “And, um, I’m a he, other humans are she, or they, or…well, there are a lot of options. What about you?”

“No name,” the boogeyman answered immediately. “And I…I am an it.” It sounded puzzled with this last statement. And why not? thought Zander. Surely if I admitted to secretly living in someone’s house for four years, I wouldn’t expect them to ask my pronouns! There’d be other, more relevant, questions!

“Do you want a name?” This wasn’t one of those more relevant questions. But it was the only one that came to mind at the moment.

“Zander…you would give me a name?” The pure wonder in its voice. Had anyone ever said Zander’s name like that?

“Only if you want a name.” What was he doing? Why was he doing it?

“Yes!” It sounded a little different, now. As if it was shaking? “Zander, name me!”

“I—” He finally let out a little laughter. ���I want to give you a good name, but I can’t hardly think now. Could I just—could I just nickname you ‘Boo’ right now, and come up with something better, later?”

“Boo,” the boogeyman said. “I am Boo!” It really sounded delighted, and Zander wondered if anything would have bothered it. Maybe not, as long as he had good intentions.

When the boogeyman—Boo—spoke again, it was quieter, more subdued. “I do not think that having a name is a usual part of being what I am. What you call a boogeyman.”

“Is that…a problem?”

“I don’t know. I like it, though. Anyway, it is not the first strange thing I have done since becoming your boogeyman.”

The mangy bear part of Zander’s mind posited that everything the monster had ever done was strange, because it was too strange to exist in the first place. Zander told that part of himself to pipe down. It was past time to accept that Boo was real, and as a being of a certain type, some things would be strange for it and others would be normal. Boo had even mentioned one, earlier. “Yeah. You said you braved the sun, once. Why did you do that?”

The hand around Zander’s knee twitched nervously. Oh. Yeah. Best not to forget about that. The claws, very close. (And also, Boo’s one stated desire so far: to touch him.)

“I was…curious,” Boo said. “No. That is not the right word. I wanted to know more of you than I already did. It shouldn’t matter to a boogeyman, but I liked watching you, whether you were uneasy or not. I liked knowing how you looked in different amounts of moonlight, in different colors of lamplight. You’re my favorite thing to look at. But I can only do that at night, when we both have forms. Last winter when I noticed that the nights were getting shorter I felt like you were being taken away. I wanted every sight of you I could hang onto. I hadn’t ever seen you in sunlight. An ordinary boogeyman wouldn’t have thought of it. But I did. I wanted to see your face in another kind of light, and sunlight was the only kind of light left. And I managed to endure it, and now I know what your face looks like in the sunlight.”

“Was it…was it worth it?”

“Yes.”

Zander’s first impulse was to push the story away, to tell Boo that maybe it needed to see more faces if it thought Zander’s was worth pain, but he held his tongue. Because there was something about what Boo had done that seemed understandable, familiar. To see someone and then begin to desire and to act in previously unthinkable ways—to irrevocably abandon normal—to risk pain for the sake of joy that it seemed so few others would understand—oh, he’d done it. If Boo’s experience was at all related…he didn’t want to make it seem small.

“You’re being strange for a boogeyman right now, too, aren’t you?”

“I was never supposed to talk to you,” Boo said. “I didn’t understand human language so much before I started paying attention to you. I couldn’t speak it. In the form I have by instinct, my fangs are too big to make all the sounds correctly.”

Are you FUCKING kidding me those are your SMALL fangs? Zander’s fear returned in a rush, and he heard Boo shift by the side of his bed. He forced himself to take deep breaths and did his best to push his fear to curiosity. What did it feel like to Boo, to be feared all of a sudden like that? Would it be like sipping water through a straw and then having someone pry your jaw open to dump a gallon down your throat? But maybe there was no metaphor, because the physical was always a limit for a human, and that didn’t seem to be the case for Boo. Unless Zander was totally wrong and it did need large fangs to chew up nightmares.

“You okay, Boo? Guess I wasn’t as calm as I thought.”

“I am okay. I will have to expend this energy soon, but that will not be dangerous to you. If I don’t find a way to use it myself, the excess will manifest as darkness. The lights in your apartment might not work for a few hours. It is enough energy to seek a new territory if a human leaves the original territory after seeing one of my kind. I did not understand this before, because leaving my territory had never occurred to me before you saw me. Another instinct. But you should also know that my fangs are only for the frightening appearance. No bites or mouth-touches are allowed. I have no digestive system. Any bites would be pointless.”

“Mouth-touches,” Zander repeated. It was an odd phrase for someone who otherwise used English so well. It sounded like a little word-veil, drawn between them so that they could both ignore what mouth-touches not part of eating would be. Or maybe that was a completely bonkers interpretation. Boo wasn’t human. Who could say how it would use language?

The obvious thing to do was ask for clarification. Zander closed his eyes for a few moments. He was going to have to come at this from an angle, and he wasn’t sure he was up to it. If he was wrong, he would create an awkward roommate situation that couldn’t be equaled, and if he was right…well, what did he plan to do?

“Anyway…you’re not supposed to be talking to me, but you can. I get that, it’s a new thing. Your instincts don’t have anything to tell you about it. But what about the way you’re still touching me? Is that also strange or…what am I not getting?” He felt a faint twitch from Boo’s hand once he fell silent.

“I can touch you because touch could make you more afraid,” Boo said. It sounded like it was trying to pick its words very carefully. “But…yes. This is also strange. And I am surprised that no instincts have made me let go. I think…it is better for a boogeyman if its human is not sure if it is really there. So touch should be fleeting. It is not…a need. But maybe that doesn’t matter. You must be very certain I’m here.”

“Yes,” Zander said. Oh, he had to be careful, now, very careful. Just because Boo would undergo the worst of boogeyman agonies just to see his face in the sunlight didn’t make his half-formed idea good. But then again, even if what he was thinking was a bad idea, at least it was fully his own bad idea. And he’d been buffeted around enough by other people’s bad ideas lately. So…let it all come together. Survival and need and want and…touch. “But maybe…maybe your instincts don’t have anything to say to you now because you don’t have any needs right now—is that true? I mean…from what you’ve told me. You have my fear, and that gives you energy to hold your form and do whatever else, and you’ve got the dark.”

“That is all a boogeyman needs.” Boo sounded troubled. “Zander…it does not feel like these are my only needs. Not when you are here.”

Zander swallowed. “Well, it sounds like you have some really strong wants, then. I think that’s…that’s part of being alive. Wanting more than the bare minimum of what’s needed to survive. I mean, that’s one of the first things you said to me.”

“That I wanted to touch you. Yes.”

Boo drew out this last word into a hiss, and shiver ran down Zander’s spine. Sure it was fear, Boo was a creature formed to scare—but that wasn’t all of it.

“I still want to touch you,” Boo said. “Much more than I already have. Now that I know that I can while you are awake, while I am talking to you—I do not know if any other boogeyman has wanted a want like this. And I don’t care, because you are my otherbeing, my human, my Zander. Everything I have of you only makes me want more, and it doesn’t make any sense, and I don’t care, because even getting a little bit of what I want is wonderful. If you were all the way out of your bed, all the way uncovered, I—I don’t know if that would satisfy me. I don’t think it matters, I want that anyway.”

Zander’s heart beat faster—how could it not, when being talked to like this, even when he’d seen the terrifying form the pleasant voice belonged to? It was clear that Boo had no concerns about approaching this subject delicately. He took a deep breath, trying to clear the feeling of lightheadedness that had come upon him. It didn’t really help. This was weird! Very weird! But it really boiled down to this: Boo wanted to touch him. He wanted to be touched.

And he was starting to get curious, now, to see if Boo would like to be touched, and how.

“Boo, I think I want to have you touch me, too.”

“Zander! I…” In contrast to the declaration of its desire, Boo now sounded shy, even a little confused. “I want to make sure I touch you in a way that won’t make you leave. I don’t want to have to be anyone else’s boogeyman.”

“Yeah, we can talk about that, we can figure it out,” Zander said. “We’ve got all night, don’t we?”

“Yes!” Boo said, and again the word turned into a hiss.

This time Zander was able to find it more fascinating than frightening, though now he guessed that being frightening was the whole point. Whenever Boo didn’t think about what it was doing, it would probably end up doing something scary. It was probably the best way for a boogeyman to survive as a boogeyman, even if it was doing something unusual like talking—err on the side of scary. Zander smiled a little, just at the idea that something as strange and incredible as Boo should exist in the first place.

“What are you feeling?” Boo asked. “It’s because of me, but it’s not fear.”

“W—wonder, I think,” Zander stammered. So Boo could feel any emotion it caused, not just fear? That was bound to get interesting.

“Wonder. It feels good.”

Very interesting.

“Boo, before you get to touch—two things: Would it be safe for you if I opened the curtains a little more? To let in the streetlights? It’ll help me be less afraid if I can see what you’re doing, at least a little.”

“The streetlights won’t trouble me—but I don’t understand. It has become less frightening to see me?”

“Well, surprise adds a lot to fear,” Zander said. “If I can see your movements, I won’t be surprised when I feel your hands.”

“I see,” Boo said.

“And the other thing is—you did give me a good scare earlier. I have to go to the bathroom before we do anything else.”

“All right.” Boo made no move to let go of his leg.

“That means you have to let go of me for a couple minutes.”

“Oh. But I could come with. I’ve been in your bathroom lots of times. I like being behind the shower curtain.”

The thought so sometimes there actually WAS something there clashed with has Boo watched me pee?! and Zander pushed them both aside. It was time to focus on the now, and he didn’t want to fall down a rabbit hole of wondering what Boo might have seen him doing. Though, to be very, very honest, there was a sort of dirty little frisson to think that Boo could have seen him taking himself in hand—he really had lost it, hadn’t he?

“But you’re not coming with me now,” Zander said. “Hey. You know that bathroom doesn’t have any windows. I’m not going to run away.”

There was a pause, and then Boo gave a sigh. The hand at his knee slid back down his calf, over his ankle and foot, and then was gone.

“Please don’t grab my ankles when I step on the floor,” Zander said. “I’m guessing that might be—it might be another instinct.”

When Zander had taken a few steps away from his bed, Boo spoke again. “You were right. It was.”

Zander grinned, even as his ankles tingled with the apprehension of touch, and continued into the bathroom.

When he returned to his bedroom, he found that Boo had already opened the curtains. Zander had left the light off in the bathroom (after all, he knew the boogeyman wasn’t in there at the moment) to keep his night vision. Now, the orange glow from the streetlights outside was more than enough to reveal everything in his room. Including Boo.

At first, he couldn’t take another step forward. The sight of Boo pressed buttons older than wonder or sympathy or even curiosity, and he had to close his eyes before he could even pull himself together enough to speak. “Boo, can you say something? I’d gotten used to your voice, but, uh, seeing you was still a surprise.”

“I did use my time alone to use some of my extra energy to change my form,” Boo said. “I wanted…I wanted to try out hair.”

Zander sensed that this was not the whole truth, but he wasn’t going to get into that now. He took a deep breath. That was Boo’s voice. He’d talked to Boo. He’d—well, he’d really liked hearing that confession of desire from Boo. And yes. Boo was a monster. And when he opened his eyes, he was going to see Boo, and step closer to Boo, and check out Boo’s brand new form with hair. The seconds of preparation helped, and when Zander opened his eyes, fear gave one last jolt before swiftly receding in favor of wonder.

He walked forward slowly—his legs still felt a little weak from the first shock—never taking his eyes off Boo. To look at Boo properly barely seemed possible—to look away and back again? Absolutely not.

When he got within Boo’s reach, he paused and tried to take in as much detail as the streetlights allowed. Boo was the same color as before, that dark gray. Its skin was more matte than a human’s. The body that skin covered was very, very tall. At least seven feet, maybe a little more, it was hard to tell how close Boo’s head was to the ceiling in the low light. And still—Zander’s stomach lurched like it did when he looked out from the top of a roller coaster—from his earlier brief look, Boo had probably been even taller before. Whatever shapeshifting it had done had included changing its proportions so that it looked a little bit more compact, a little bit more human, now. But really, only a little.

Zander wondered if there was some mass Boo had to take on when it solidified, because in addition to being shorter than the first picture indicated, Boo now had a little more muscle and flesh on its body and limbs. Though it still made you wonder if it was hungry enough to make you its next meal. Too, the slight musculature it now had was…off…in some indefinable way. Zander had never made a study of human anatomy, but what Boo’s said to him was that it wasn’t an elongated human, but something else entirely. And there were other, far more obvious differences. Boo had only four toes on each foot, each of which ended in a sharp black claw. It had no navel, and the area between its legs appeared as smooth as a mannequin. And its hands, the hands Zander had invited it to touch him with…well, they had five fingers each, but he was almost sure each finger had an extra joint compared to a human finger. They definitely all had significant claws. But, perhaps…he wouldn’t know until Boo touched him again, but he thought maybe Boo had done its best to tone down the claws.

After all, Boo had done quite a bit on its fangs.

Boo’s face was what he had seen on his phone, and Boo’s face was where the changes it had made were clearest to Zander. Though its jaw remained somewhat prognathous, its fangs were now small enough that its lips closed over them easily. Its ears, too, were much smaller, even if they were still much larger than a human’s and still pointed. But they didn’t remind Zander so much of a bat anymore. But even with these changes, some things about Boo had stayed the same. Its nose remained as it had been, just a slight protrusion with two large nostril slits framed by two smaller, additional slits. Boo’s eyes were still enormous, and very round. They had no whites, but in the lamplight Zander thought he could see the distinction between iris and pupil. Incredible, that this faint light would cause such a contraction.

And, yes, finally, Boo had hair on the top of its head, now. It was black, several inches long, and quite messy. Of course, it has been formed rather hastily. It made Boo look—well, it was hard to say. Less alien. More uncanny.

Zander knew that most anything with hair or fur liked having it groomed. Would that be a built-in side effect of his boogeyman’s changed form? Who knew? No one, absolutely no one, and that was the most wondrous thing about this moment. They were both so far outside, and so hidden from any norms that either of them knew, that they were both looking at each other completely as themselves.

And this was where, and how, they were going to touch each other. It might be glorious. It might be terrible. It might simply be monstrous. But most of all, it would be theirs, and only theirs.

“Zander,” Boo said, and Zander saw its long, clawed hands flex, “now can I touch you?”

Zander realized that Boo must have been studying him with the same intensity as he had been studying Boo—perhaps even more, considering that Boo could see much better in the very dim light. And still this was its reaction: this desperation, this desire.

Seeing Boo’s whole form had not made Zander any less vulnerable to being desired. And, hey, some part of his mind that couldn’t let a numinous moment stand pointed out, you’ve always liked lanky guys.

He smiled, and Boo’s already-wide eyes went wider. “Boo, I was thinking. Your rules say you only get to touch me when I’m uncovered and hanging off the edge of the bed, but now that I know you’re here—now that we’ve got an understanding—well, is that still the case? What I’m saying, is…can I invite you onto my bed?”

Boo visibly shivered, but not, Zander thought, with revulsion. Anticipation, maybe.

“I have no idea,” Boo said. “I want to find out.”

Zander took a deep breath and another step forward. “Take my hand,” he said. “It might make it easier.”

Boo reached out, and Zander, focusing only on the wonder of it, found it easy to reach back and put his compact, soft hand into Boo’s spindly fingers. Its skin was smooth and dry—no natural oils like human skin, Zander guessed, since it didn’t really have that biology to maintain from day to day—and barely seemed warmer than the ambient temperature of the room. He must feel much different to Boo; would that be good, bad—?

“Your warmth,” Boo breathed. “It’s the first wonderful thing about touching you.”

Ah. Good, then.

“Well. Warmth I can guarantee,” Zander said. “It’s why I had my leg sticking out in the first place.” Keeping hold of Boo’s hand, he eased himself back into bed. “So far so good, huh? Nothing made you let go, even though I’m completely on the mattress.” He smiled up at Boo, and Boo blinked down at him, its lips twitching in a tentative answering smile. Sure, there was something unsettling about it, but also Zander guessed that most expressions might not come naturally to Boo. It probably learned them…from him. Astonishing. “Come on up, however you like, though you might end up getting another shot of fear if you—” He broke off, as Boo immediately took his invitation and climbed onto the bed.

And on top of Zander, which was what he’d expected, because it was the most frightening way to get close. Boo moved in a rather spidery way (of course) and when it stopped moving it had its hands planted on either side of Zander’s head, its knees to either side of Zander’s legs. The light from the streetlights no longer helped so much to see Boo’s face, though he could see a glint of eyes and oh, again, the fangs. Boo was grinning as it was poised above him.

“Comfortable?” Boo asked, and Zander immediately wanted to giggle. He held back, though, because despite all the absurdities in this situation, he didn’t want to risk Boo feeling laughed at in this moment—the first time it’d gotten into bed with someone it really, really wanted to touch.

“Yeah,” Zander answered softly. “You all right with that jolt I gave you just now? I couldn’t help it.”

“Yes.” Boo sounded thoughtful. “I am less worried about having too much energy now that I’m not trying to escape your notice. And you are still wondering at me more than anything else.”

“I suppose I am,” Zander said. He stretched out his arms and legs under Boo. Had he ever even been this vulnerable to another human being? Sure, he still had his boxer shorts on, but that was pretty insignificant compared to the fact that Boo knew him better than literally any other human being. Also, if Boo had been lying about itself and what it wanted—if those fangs and claws were about to be put to their more typical uses—he’d basically served himself up on a silver platter. Though that image did cause some sparks in some crossed wires in his brain.

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “All right, Boo,” he said. “You can touch me.”

Boo immediately lifted one spindly hand and cupped Zander’s cheek. It was a bizarrely human gesture, but it lasted only for a moment. Boo didn’t have any script to follow; all it knew was that it had been given permission to satisfy its desires, its curiosity. And still, Zander felt as though some kind of tightly wound spring inside him was easing with such a simple touch.

Boo’s fingertips poked gently at the softness of Zander’s cheek, and its claws were noticeable, but not in an uncomfortable way. Boo seemed to have the intent to treat Zander as carefully as it could, as it found his cheekbones and jaw and traced them, as it circled his ear and brushed across his forehead, as it investigated the shape of his nose and eyebrows.

And then Boo held the side of his face again, and slowly dragged its thumb over Zander’s lips.

“Boo?” Zander whispered, when it left its thumb at the corner of his mouth and hung over him, perfectly still, just looking.

“I think I’m changing, somehow,” Boo said. “Like when I become substantial. But I already am. I don’t understand.”

“Does that feel good or bad for you?”

“I think…good. But I’ve never felt anything like it before.” Boo shivered, a familiar motion made unfamiliar by the undercranked-film quality of it. Still a boogeyman. “Zander. I am going to touch you more, now.”

With only that much of a warning, Boo bent down and pressed its face against the side of Zander’s neck. Zander’s heart raced, some part of him still convinced that Boo wanted to rip his throat out, the rest of him clamoring that Boo was kissing him, actually kissing him on the neck. He could feel Boo’s lips moving gently against his skin, and though he could also tell that there were fangs behind them, he didn’t care at all. He hadn’t been kissed at all, anywhere, in so long, and if this wasn’t really kissing, but rather what Boo had distantly called ‘mouth touches’ earlier, well, it was impossible for his skin to tell the difference.

Boo didn’t stay at the side of his neck. It made a line of kisses up to his jaw, over the lower part of his cheek—and there was really no denying now that they were kisses, kisses from a being very new to the practice of kissing, but kisses nonetheless—

And then Boo kissed him on the lips.

Does Boo understand? Does it? Does it? His mind whirled while Boo lingered at his mouth. Maybe? Probably! He answered himself, as reality began to supersede any of his earlier half-formed fantasies. You were the one torrenting classic Disney to combat depression and the creepy feeling in your apartment!

It was really so absurd. And yet he still felt as though his heart was being cracked open like an egg, and instead of yolk and white flowing out there was all his loneliness and his curiosity and his fear and his wonder and his desire. There was so much of all of it, more than he’d ever realized he was holding onto, and it made it impossible to think lightly of kissing Boo.

Oh well.

He kissed Boo back. He kissed Boo back and raised his hands to touch Boo in return. It had said it liked his warmth; let it have the warmth of his hands, then, roving along the smooth, dry skin of its spindly form, back and waist and shoulders.

Boo gasped at Zander’s touch, and let itself sink down onto him, its narrow body pressing full against Zander’s soft and substantial chest and belly. Boo twined its fingers into Zander’s hair, and even that eagerness pierced his heart—his grown-out hair wasn’t neglect and isolation to Boo, it was something new and wonderful to touch. Zander closed his eyes, thrilling at the light touch of claws on his scalp and no longer trying to distance himself from any desire he felt. Boo was doing exactly what it had told him it wanted to do, so why not enjoy it? He hoped, oh he hoped that Boo was taking pleasure in these moments, because he was; he felt like he wasn’t just unwinding thanks to the ability to touch someone, but like he might unravel entirely, lose all the stress and constraint of having a form.

Maybe that wasn’t the best simile, considering Boo’s existence, but was he supposed to come up with a better one while making out with the thing under the bed?

He held Boo ever closer, and with very little conscious thought, slipped his tongue past Boo’s lips. He brushed up against Boo’s fangs, and his body tried to set off every alarm system that it had. However, most of his systems were already highly occupied, and all the signals of his nerves and hormones could only merge. He felt like he was blushing all over, like he’d been given a jolt of electricity just this side of lethal, and, oh yeah, his cock was now straining at the fabric of his boxers. He hadn’t gotten so hard, so fast, in a long while. His state would be immediately obvious to anyone familiar with hard-ons; the question was, did that include Boo?

Boo made a soft sound in its throat and pulled away from Zander just far enough to speak. “I—you—I can feel your desire,” it said.

That sounded way too much like a euphemism in a novel where the author wasn’t allowed to say “cock” and Zander was momentarily baffled as to why Boo was talking like that. But then—Boo lived off his fear. Boo could tell when Zander was wondering at him. So when Boo said it could feel his desire, that’s literally what it meant.

And was that a good thing? Well—

Boo sat up, laughing a little. It ran its long, strange hands boldly over Zander’s chest and belly, and Zander could see the glint of its terrible, sexy fangs in the streetlight as it grinned. “Zander. Zander. Zaaaander. You like it when I touch you and—I don’t know if any boogeyman has ever felt this. And I don’t care. It’s so good. I can’t tell if feeling your body under my hands or feeling your desire is better. What—what am I doing that makes you want me? I—I want to do more of that.”

“Boo—I—it’s easy to want you when you’re touching me like I’m the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen in your life!”

“You are,” Boo said, continuing to caress him with earnest hands. “And your desire…” It took a shaky breath. “I had noticed it, before. It was always faint because it wasn’t directed at me. But I was still curious because it was something of you.” Boo’s touches became lighter, but not teasing. It traced a claw around Zander’s nipple, almost shyly.

Zander shivered, but it felt like he was almost feverish, how hot he was. How much of a strange dream all this seemed. “Boo,” he whispered.

“I never realized what it would be like to have desire directed toward me,” it said. “I only hoped to touch you and try to satisfy my own desire, but now I—I think I might be insatiable.”

Zander reached out and covered one of Boo’s hands with his own. “Hey, Boo. We can figure it out. I mean—you’re doing things with your body, with me, that you’ve never done before. I mean, there’s probably some way you can be satisfied. You just don’t know it yet.”

“Yes.” Again, that alien sibilance, and Zander found that a monster accepting his promise to help satisfy it somehow only made him impossibly harder. And he should probably say something about that, but what? Boo had clearly been in the room, at least, while Zander had taken himself in hand, but how much did it understand about what he had been doing?

“Boo,” he began, “this desire that you’re feeling from me to you, it’s…there’s a physical component—”

“Yes,” Boo interrupted. “I’ve noticed it all. The speeding of your heart, but not in fear. The slight changes in your scent. The hardening of your nipples and your cock.”

To hear Boo say “cock” was nearly as disorienting as when Zander thought he was using a euphemism. But then, what other word would it know for penis? It would have had to learn from the porn Zander watched to associate any word with the actual body part.

“Okay,” Zander said, his feelings about Boo watching him masturbate much more ambiguous now that it had apparently been the case in reality, “then you probably know some, uh, other things.”

“Yes, and I…” Boo hesitated.

“Boo, if you don’t want to do anything with my cock, I, well, it’s not what my body’s hoping for, but I can deal.”

“No, that’s not…” Boo flipped its hand over and squeezed Zander’s, really seeming nervous now. “I’ve touched you, and you’ve touched me back, and it felt—it felt so good. I didn’t know the kinds of things my nerves could tell me. I don’t know to say all this. But I’m not shying away because I don’t want to give you the most pleasure that I can. Now that I know I can.”

“Well, all right, do you just need a little guidance or—”

“Maybe, but first I need to show you—” Boo broke off, and lifted itself up, moving forwards until its knees were on either side of Zander’s waist. Its fingers fluttered and it dropped Zander’s hand. “I changed myself when you were in the bathroom. I said I wanted to try hair, but that’s not all I did.”

Zander’s eyes widened. He didn’t want to look too surprised, considering how shy Boo seemed now, but if this was going in the direction he guessed it was, it seemed almost impossible not to be surprised.

Boo picked up Zander’s hand again. It guided him to the place between Boo’s legs. “I don’t know if I did it right. But I made this change before I knew how much you wanted me, because I knew how much I wanted you.”

Zander looked up at Boo, trying to get a glimpse of its face as he left his fingers gently resting against where they had been placed. But then again, what could Boo’s expression tell him that Boo’s actions didn’t? Boo had made an orifice, apparently on the wild wish of an off-chance (or so it had thought) that “touching Zander” would lead into “getting fucked by Zander.” He allowed himself a moment to ask himself if this was too weird but shoved the question away before answering himself. It was the wrong question. Tonight was about Boo and him, and if it was weird it didn’t matter. There were better questions. “Boo, do you want me to be inside you?”

“Yes,” Boo said, quietly, and with no hesitation.

Zander traced his fingers around the edge of the opening Boo had led him to, and he heard Boo pant above him. I wonder if I can make your nerves tell you some really incomprehensible things, he thought, as he continued to carefully stroke Boo. “Any particular word you’d like for this new part of you?” The question wasn’t just a courtesy. Zander wasn’t hugely experienced, but he had enough practical knowledge to know that what he was feeling wasn’t really like any human orifice.

“Oh,” Boo said, again sounding embarrassed even as it breathed heavily and tilted its hips towards Zander’s hand, “I—I don’t really know—it’s just a hole. Is that all right?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Zander said. With his free hand he stroked Boo’s side and bony hip, doing his best to clear his mind of any negative reaction. Boo had claimed “it”; Boo had a hole. That was all there was to it. Nit-picking the language used by a wondrous, unknown creature was no way to proceed.

Especially not when that wondrous, unknown creature was relaxing and opening thanks to his fingers. “I’m going to put a finger inside you,” Zander said, and Boo made a soft sound in its throat, followed by another as Zander did exactly as he said. Inside, Boo was slick, wet—biological details that it had to have chosen. Zander didn’t know exactly how Boo formed their body, but this didn’t seem like something it had come up with on the spur of the moment. “I think you did really well, remaking yourself this way,” Zander said. It felt like another of his fingers could slip in easily, so he tried, and was right. Boo pressed its hips towards his hand, and when Zander started to gently thrust with his fingers, Boo soon started moving in counterpoint with him, seeking deeper stokes, seeking to be filled. Its smooth inner muscles wrapped around his fingers with a tight strength that made his cock throb and ache in anticipation.

But he’d be careful, no matter how much his body was screaming for Boo. He was giving it its first time, after all, and, well, he wanted to prove himself worthy of its obsession with him.

“Boo, tonight wasn’t the first time you thought about making yourself a hole, was it?” he asked softly.  

“I thought about it but I—I couldn’t think about thinking about it,” Boo said. “A boogeyman doesn’t—but I tried to figure out how to construct myself for pleasure—the plan was ready in my mind when you said I could touch.”

“It feels like it was worth the effort,” Zander said. “You feel good to me, Boo. How wet you are, how tightly you hold my fingers—I just want to know if you feel good in yourself, like this?”

Boo took a shuddery breath. “I feel—wonderful,” it said. “I don’t have any way to compare this with my existence as an ordinary boogeyman. And still—the bodies I make have a lot to do with yours. The nerves I make are based on yours—you’re the only living thing in my space. So—is your whole body this attuned to pleasure, too?”

“You know, I think I read that humans do have some nerves that are just meant to feel good when we’re caressed,” Zander said. “Like this.” He ran his hand down Boo’s side, over its hip, down its thigh. Amazing that Boo could instinctively create all the complexity of a living body, that it could guide those instincts when it wanted to—when it developed new and strange desires. And was Boo still changing? During those first touches, Boo had hardly seemed to give off any heat, but now, now it felt distinctly warm, more alive, more fleshly, than ever.

“Then why—why are you not always touching?” Boo asked. Its hand slid up his arm and tangled in his hair.

Unexpected tears burned in the corner of Zander’s eyes. “We—we want to be. I think we really want to be. But sometimes we can’t.”

Boo bent its face close to his, as terrifying and wonderful as ever. “I don’t understand,” it said. “But I am here to touch you now, and you are here to touch me, now. We can have this pleasure of touch and touch-back.”

“Yes,” Zander said. “You’re right, you’re right.” He smiled a little; started moving his fingers in Boo again. Boo arched its back, raising its long body.

“This feels—I don’t understand, but I want more,” Boo said. “I—I showed you my hole with your hand to—to show you it was there. But I want to feel your cock inside me.”

That disorienting shift—from the alien first-timer to the pornographically familiar. Zander wasn’t sure he was getting used to it, but he was certainly ready to roll with it. “Yes—I—I think we’ll both like that.” Boo smiled and reached down between them, and with claws that Zander now realized must be much sharper than he had been thinking, deftly reduced his shorts to rags and tossed them away. It should have been terrifying, but Boo hadn’t dealt him even the slightest scratch. There was only delight in this destruction, and as Zander’s cock stood free, it was practically dripping, just like Boo’s hole.

Despite both their states, Zander reached over to the bedside table and took a small bottle of lube out of the drawer. It would never be a bad thing to have, especially in this uncharted territory. He slicked himself up more carefully than usual, trying to ignore any sensation for the moment. “All right, Boo,” he said, about to guide them back that crucial small distance, when a thought occurred to him. “Do you like the position we’re in now? You on top, and me underneath?”

“Does it make a difference?” Boo asked. “I’m ready. I want to be filled.”

So matter-of-fact when it said these things! It wasn’t trying to seduce him, and yet he was as seduced as he’d ever been!

“With you on top you have more control over how deep you take me. The—the pace, also. But if you were underneath me—how do I even put this? You wouldn’t have to constantly be deciding how to fuck? You could just let yourself feel, if you wanted to do that?”

“Oh,” Boo said slowly. “I think I like the sound of that.” It grinned. “I’ve spent a lot of time under you with the bed in the way. I’d love to find out what it’s like with nothing in between us.”

Amazing, Zander thought. Amazing. Humor, or a very near relative of it. Just another thing that a boogeyman wouldn’t strictly need to survive, but that this wondrous being was able to use.

With Boo on the bed, and only the streetlamp providing light, it was harder for Zander to see it than ever. But there were glimmers enough, of eyes, of teeth. There was suggestion enough, in the subtle variation of shadows. Boo’s new, messy hair spread out on the pillow. The long, narrow shape of its body, with all its suggestions of curiously attached muscles. And now, rising into the clarity offered by the streetlamp, Boo’s strange hand, with its fearsome claws. It cupped Zander’s cheek and he nuzzled against it.

“Even now that I’ve touched you, I’m still going to love looking at you,” Boo said. “I understand that now. I’d thought it was just something to go before touching. But now I know more about pleasure, and I know that looking is a pleasure, too.”

Zander quashed the impulse to laugh this off, to say something cliché about flattery. He didn’t want to build any barriers between them for Boo’s first time, for Boo’s sake. And for his own sake, he didn’t want to force any distance between himself and someone who so plainly and earnestly desired him.

So he didn’t say anything that went back to himself. “You’re the most astonishing being I’ve ever seen, Boo.” And he leaned down and kissed it. Boo sighed and arched up towards him, a vivid reminder of what they both so wanted. He ran his hand lightly down Boo’s body, traced the path of its hipbones, and again found that soft, wet opening. Boo had said it was just a hole, but it was incredible that it had made one at all—that it had gone so far outside its version of normality as a boogeyman in the hope of making a sexual connection. Zander could only hope that Boo would find it everything it’d hoped for. He eased the head of his cock against Boo’s hole, and, taking a deep breath, slid inside the body of his boogeyman.

Immediately, Boo grabbed his shoulders with its hands, its claws pricking against his skin. The tiny points of pain were immediately subsumed in the heat of desire, however, as Boo lifted its hips urgently against Zander’s.

“Am I really giving you this much pleasure?” Boo asked, sounding dazed.

Zander gave a single, breathy laugh. “Just you wait.” He hoped the connection between them would be strong, that it would help Boo figure out how it could find the satisfaction and relief that Zander knew he was going to find in Boo. He began to thrust shallowly, Boo at once joining him in his rhythm.

“Yes,” Boo said, a sigh and a hiss at once. “Yes.” Its hands crept over him in ever-greedy caresses, boldly grasping handfuls of his flesh with alien, yet ardent, delight and desire. Its wet heat held him close, inner muscles tightening around his cock every time he withdrew. It drove all thoughts of biological artistry from Zander’s mind, leaving room only for the thrill of this deepest, closest touch.

“Tell me—tell me what you want,” Zander said. “Want to make you feel—as good as I do.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know—” Boo wrapped its long legs around Zander and pulled him closer. “Just—more, more. Harder, faster!”

Boo’s groan of pleasure when Zander obeyed was nearly his undoing. He had no clear idea at all how he managed to hold back, save that he suddenly craved to know what other sounds he could coax from Boo. Every little moan, every little gasp seemed to speak volumes, but volumes that would contain only the simplest statements, over and over again. I want you. I need you. You feel good on me, you feel good in me. But what more needed to be said in the bizarre little paradise his apartment had become? It could never be shared, never be explained, but that didn’t matter. It only mattered that he was real, and Boo was real, and no matter how astonishing their first meeting, they were both finally getting the touch they had been so desperate for.

Zander bent to kiss Boo’s fanged mouth, their disparate bodies pressing together as if there was no reason for them ever to have been apart.

“Zander,” Boo said softly, breaking the kiss for a moment, and Zander smiled down at it and impulsively nuzzled his cheek against its. Then, “Zander!” Boo cried out, baffled and worshipful, arching up against him and clenching around him tighter than ever before.

The thought “did I just make my boogeyman come?” just barely had time to form in Zander’s mind before his thrusts lost their steadiness and his own orgasm washed over him in a bright wave of pleasure.

“Zander,” Boo murmured, once they had both collected themselves a little and were lying side by side, “I want to sleep here. In your bed. With you.”

“No going back, huh? I’m happy with that.” He lightly ran his hand down Boo’s arm. “But what if you sleep too deeply? I can close my blackout curtains, of course, but they haven’t worked great here and the sun might still get through. I don’t want you to get injured after all the—all the good things of tonight.”

“I’m not worried. I…even if I’ve changed, I’m still a boogeyman. I’ll wake when the light is too much. And I feel like…I have reserves of energy. Even more than I did at the start of the night.”

“Well, all right,” Zander said. “I’m going to guess that you won’t mind cuddling?”

Boo flashed a grin. “Oh no, never.”

*

When Zander woke he wasn’t disoriented that Boo was in his bed; he knew very well he hadn’t been dreaming last night. But he was surprised that he was able to see Boo so clearly. The sun wasn’t fully up yet, but it was undeniably dawn. And Boo was still sleeping peacefully, an absurdly elongated little spoon. Zander did want to spend some time looking at Boo, at the form it had made of both instinct and desire, but its description of the terrible effects of the sun made him reach out and shake its shoulder instead.

Boo blinked sleepily, as if it had a lot of experience with sleeping and not just phasing out of existence during the day. “The daylight, Boo! The daylight!”

It yawned, revealing every single one of its astonishing fangs. “Can’t be daylight,” it said. “You have more uncomfortable lamps.”

“Boo, really!” Zander started trying to move Boo’s miles of limbs around so he could get out of bed and get to the blackout curtains. Why hadn’t he just taken the time to close them last night? It wouldn’t have hurt, it might have helped, and now Boo was way too close to being burned by the sun for the second time because of him! And apparently it was too disoriented? Unused to waking up? To stop hindering Zander from trying to keep it safe—wow, how weird, to go from terrified to protective of one’s boogeyman within a few hours—wait. Did the boogeyman thing explain the situation he was having right now? He was afraid for Boo, Boo naturally did things that were scary, and so Boo’s arms and legs were trapping him in his bed. It was the same thing as not being able to run in a nightmare.

Zander flopped back down and tried to calm himself. Boo was a grown boogeyman, much older than Zander if he’d correctly deciphered its comments on when it had come to exist. If it was going to take these risks, let it! It had come back from the other sunburn just fine!

Zander had maybe three seconds of calm before Boo sat upright quickly enough to make the bed springs squeak. “This IS sunlight!”

“Yeah, and don’t you need to hide from it?”

“I…I hide from light because it hurts me. Or it hurt me.” Boo slowly turned one of its hands back and forth in the dawn light. “But I barely feel anything now. It’s just a tingle. I think the light still might be dissolving me, but somehow it’s so much easier to heal, now. More sunlight would probably still be too much. But I don’t feel any need to dissolve for the length of the day.” It frowned. “I have changed.”

“Boo.” Zander sat up. “How?”

“I couldn’t have guessed…” Boo spoke softly. “But then again, maybe I am the same. Maybe this is part of being a boogeyman, but a boogeyman that followed its instincts, a boogeyman without a Zander, would have only ever tasted fear.” It fixed its gaze back on Zander. “You wondered at me. You were curious about me. You felt desire for me. And now, this morning, you were afraid for me. All of these emotions…I think they are more powerful than your everyday fear. At least for me. At least when they come from you.” It paused, and when it spoke again a note of trepidation had crept into its voice. “Do you think you could continue to wonder at me? I…want to have continuity. In your space. With you. If I don’t have to worry about the sunlight so much, and staying out of sight…there are so many ways I could do more than just exist.”

“Boo.” Zander took its hand. “I think I’ll be wondering at you for a long, long time.” He paused. “Do you still need fear, specifically, now?”

Boo shrugged. “Nightmares are always enough for a boogeyman. I just…ended up different.”

“I’m glad you did,” Zander said. “I’m glad you ended up different with me.” Boo immediately sprawled around him in a clumsy embrace, and Zander laughed. “But it’s a hell of a time to start being part of the world, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Boo said.

Zander sighed, though he smiled, too. “Well. I’ll be here as you figure it out. Now, let’s find a safe place for you to spend the day.” And though he didn’t say anything then, the question still bloomed within him—if wonder can carry you through the dawn, what might love do?

[plant-flwrs]

Eternal Spring // wolfstar

Chapter One: Calholme

masterlist!

series masterlist!

series summary: Remus was fine being alone until a mysterious and loud man crashes his motorbike into Remus’s life.

a/n: hi!!! i have a series!!! i’ve got a couple of series and chapter stories in my drafts, but i’ve never really had the courage to post them. i have put so much into this story, though, and i really hope you all like it :) leave me some feedback! i’ll probably post more once i know that its not a complete and utter flop. also, i’ve posted it on my ao3 so you can go read it over there too <33 

(1.9k)

It was a drowsy, subdued place, in Remus' opinion, every moment of the year except for spring. Where he grew up, and where he currently resided, the entire town took a green glowing hue for the season. It was cold in the mornings, so when Remus went outside to spread chicken seed on the dewy grass, he put on a sweater. It warmed up as the sun rose, and from the time it took the sun to travel from the horizon to the middle of the sky, Remus was comfortable in a t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans. When the sun was at its peak, Remus might start to sweat through his shirt, maybe going as far as to change into shorts if he was outside, which he usually was. He couldn't stand to be inside during spring.

The gravel driveway that led to a dirt road was sprouting an abundance of weeds and weeds that looked like flowers. The trees captured light, glowing, instead of the way they seemed to absorb and trap light in winter. Remus's backyard was a large forest, and Remus had never taken the time to check where his property line ended, so as far as he was concerned, the entire forest was his. If you went deep enough in any direction, you would come to a clearing where the knee-high grass dove into some grass that only tickled your ankles. After the ankle grass, there was an unnaturally blue and unnaturally large lake. Remus' mom had told him that the lake was so blue and so large because it was natural, that no person could ever make something so beautiful, and Remus found himself agreeing as he got older.

With his mother and father gone to live somewhere where it was spring weather all the time, living on a vast farm with no animals and a huge lawnmower that his father comfortably sat on every weekend to trim the fields, Remus now lived in his slightly renovated childhood home. It was only slightly renovated because it was a great deal messier and almost every surface was covered in coffee or tea stains and a book. Remus also got a television that he rarely used and turned his old bedroom into some sort of reading room/ garden. So, slightly renovated.

Past the gravel driveway littered with weeds and imposter weeds, past the dirt road that served as a crossing and sometimes rest area for the wild animals in the area, was the more populated town. Calholme had two public libraries; three hardware stores, one of which sold exclusively fishing supplies; a psychic who did palm readings and sold handmade jewelry and was rumored to have built the house she did aforementioned things in herself; three gas stations, one on each side of the outskirts of town, and one right in the center; two banks, one of which was relatively new that not many people frequented due to either a lack of trust for banks or simply because it was new; a multitude of fruits and vegetables stands with products grown in the area, delis in which the products ate the grass not 20 miles away, and bakeries that sent a sweet aroma into the air; a record shop that doubled as a coffee shop, candy store, and sometimes a furniture store when the records weren't selling too well; a car repair shop called Matt Mocks's garage that also repaired tractors and other broken farm equipment, and if the right guy was in that day, you could get your television repaired, too; and any other storefront that the simple people of Calholme thought they needed. They were quite resourceful in that sense.

So, down one end of the road was Calholme, and down the other were a few scattered cottages and large farmhouses, and even further down was a paved road that brought Sirius Black into town.

---

Remus had opened the window in his kitchen and stood in front of it as he waited for his tea to steep. It was that wonderfully chilly morning, so he shivered a little as the cold air clipped his crooked nose and sharp chin. He wrapped his long arms around his body to give some sort of comfort but found his lack of sustainable body fat and bony arms were more of a hindrance than not. Sighing and turning away from the window, he retrieved a cardigan that was draped over the couch, shaking off some loose crumbs before putting it on and returning to the window. He passed the sink on the way, a large white ceramic hole in the counter that looked more like a tub than a sink, and filled up a cup of water for the plants on the window sill. The house was in disarray, as usual, but Remus kept his plants alive. Most of the ones on the sill were herbs that he cooked with, with one or two flowers mingled in. If he kept the window open all day during this time of year, butterflies would come to the flowers and find themselves fluttering around the kitchen until they could find the window again. Occasionally, they just make themselves at home.

Window plants watered, arms covered and no longer shivering, tea fully steeped and mixed with the right amount of milk and honey, Remus stood in front of the window again. He could hear his chickens clucking by the other side of the house, and the rustle of the trees, the faint hum of a tractor miles off as people started their day. Then, he heard the roar of a failing engine. Not long after that, he heard the harsh sounds of metal scraping and a yelp of surprise that soon turned into groans of pain.

Remus ran to the door, tripping over his discarded rainboots, then running his shin into a coffee table, then shouldering the wall before falling on his face after tripping on some more shoes. When he finally got to the door, the chickens were louder, and so was the groaning.

His driveway wasn't too long, but it was still long enough and curved enough so that the house couldn't be seen from the road. The gravel crunched under his feet, eyes surveying the weeds, hands warmed by the mug he had forgotten to put down and somehow, miraculously, had not dropped on his way out.

There was a lump that may have been a human body or may have been a Greek god that had fallen down to the earth. Besides this was a discarded and seriously fucked up motorbike. A few feet away was a duffel bag with its contents spilled out onto his driveway. Telling from the skid marks, Remus guessed that this Greek god had lost his footing, or maybe hadn't seen a pothole, and veered into his driveway for somewhat of an easier crash than what would have been in the woods. The marks also told Remus that the driver was coming into town.

"Are you alright?" Remus tried, taking the groans as a sign of life and creeping closer to the body.

"Oh, fuck," they groaned, "fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Do you need help?" Remus knew it was a stupid question, one with the answer right in front of his face, as they began to writhe around the ground and get their wits about them.

Remus moved over to the scattered possessions, setting down his mug and gathering the various items back into the duffel. He ignored the magazine with David Bowie on the cover, ignored the criminally small shirt that had tears in the collar and Remus knew would make the Greek god look even more godlike, ignored the eyeliner pencil, and politely folded things when necessary before putting them away.

"Where the fuck am I?" the body had moved into a sitting position, feet on the ground and legs bent at the knees. There were rips in his black jeans, blood seeping into the denim, and a tattered hole in the sleeve of his leather jacket that also left red dripping onto the gravel. His face wasn't too scuffed, just some road rash on his cheekbone and jaw. Greek god confirmed. Fallen from heaven, straight from Olympius, carved by the hands of Zeus himself.

He was strikingly pale, which made his eyes and hair striking as well. His eyes were a deep blue, blue like Remus' lake, and his black hair was long and cut into a choppy sort of shag with lots of layers. He looked disheveled, obviously, because he was just in an awful motorbike accident, and Remus was staring at him.

"Just outside of Calholme," Remus almost called him 'sir', despite the fact that he hadn't called anyone but his teachers and his father 'sir', and this boy was obviously close to Remus' age. But the boy had a commanding presence, one that made people want to call him 'sir', and tremble with nerves as they did so.

Shuffling a bit, still sat down, he surveyed the damage. No longer groaning nor writhing, he was somehow even more attractive. His brows were furrowed-in pain, concentration, just pure Greek god sternness? Remus could not tell- as he pulled at the new holes in his jeans. He didn't wince, but he did scowl, and his fingertips ran through his blood for a moment before sighing. He twisted to look at his arm, and he winced then, but only because of his beloved jacket.

"Motherfucker," he mumbled, taking care to slip off the arm of the jacket and pinch the torn edges together as if they would magically stitch together.

Remus realized he was still holding the boy's duffel, so he dropped it gently on the gravel between them.

He cast his eyes up to look at Remus for the first time. "Thanks," he said softly, pulling off his entire jacket now.

It was cold, and Remus was wrapped tightly in his cardigan, and this boy was bleeding, his motorbike dented and silent even though he had never taken the keys out of the ignition.

"Can you walk?" Remus asked, surprising himself with the nervous tremble in his voice. Remus didn't talk much during the day, besides to his chickens and the lake and the flowers and the butterflies, and occasionally to the stray cat that would make the long trek from the neighboring properties. This boy was a little different than talking to those things.

He struggled to his feet, easing gently on his knees and not putting his scraped hands on the gravel. He bent his legs, only grimacing a little, and said, "Yeah."

"Do you want to come inside? It's warmer."

The boy craned his neck, looking at the heavily forested area around him, his bike, and Remus. He looked at Remus a little longer than these other things and nodded briskly.

Remus grabbed his mug and turned to walk up the driveway, listening to the crunch of the boy's footsteps behind him. They were strong and sure, despite the trail of blood he was leaving.

"This your house?" The boy said from a few paces behind Remus once they got close enough to see it. He sounded neutral, not apprehensive or suspicious of Remus, but not grateful or relieved. Remus found it a little unnerving, especially with his back to him. He shivered and turned to face him, nodding and opening the front door.

[dibidibifiction]

A Hundred-dollar Bill: PART 4

Warning: foul language, fluff Word count: 1.9k

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction made for personal entertainment of readers. The writer does not ever intend to offend her readers nor does she aim to spread false information about anyone as to pay any disrespect to the real-life persons whom the characters are based on. She also does not claim ownership to any of the images that are being used.

masterlist PART 3

I gently pull away from Taemin’s cuddle to get up. He immediately rolls his whole body the other way, finding Kibum who is spooning Minho on the other side. Once again, I stare at all my best friends. This time they’re sleeping so soundly and this, for me, is enough to provide me comfort. However, I somehow feel sorry for getting them into this mess. 

I adjust this one blanket for them to squeeze in.

I grab Minho’s cigarette pack and head to the roof of the building to wait for the sun to rise.

Once I’m sat on the dirty, dusty cement, I light a cigarette to my satisfaction.

I think of my parents. I don’t really believe in life after death but I genuinely hope they’re happy and together wherever they may be. I wish there was a way to let them know how much I miss them. Also, I really hope they don’t see how I’m doing right now because my dad would for sure beat me up.

“Hey, can I get a hit of that?” I hear someone say after a couple of minutes of my alone time.

I turn my head to look behind me. It’s Taemin. “Oh, hey.”

“That ‘hey’ doesn’t sound like you’re happy to see me,” he giggles. He takes the cigarette from my lips and then to his.

“A singer isn’t supposed to smoke, right?”

“Who says I’m a singer?”

I stare at him in confusion after I light myself another stick. “Spill it.”

“Nobody knows this. Well, except for Kibum Hyung since he’s all for social media and happened to find the article. Thanks for looking it up by the way,” he jokes. “About a month ago,” he starts. “Euisoo Hyung handed me the news that he handled my situation and proved to the media and to everybody that the rumors about me are wrong. I don’t know how he did it, I didn’t ask, but I’m just grateful. Not to mention relieved. He said that I can get back to work as soon as I’m ready. And I asked him to give me some time to think about it.”

“What? Taemin, what’s there to think about? This is your dream.”

“It was. I already lived it for six years and I couldn’t feel more honored and fortunate, but…” He hesitates. 

“But what?”

He sighs. “I have a new dream. I realized that living a lowkey life made me happier, less pressured, especially with the person I love. I decided to go back to the original plan, which is to become a dancer. Not exactly a singer,” he says, tipping the cigarette butt out of his hands.

I watch his eyes twinkle under the upcoming sunrise sky. There is not a drop of doubt that he’s really sure about this. I always wondered how hard it was for him to recover from all the hate, and his fans cancelling on him. He didn’t really open up this deeply. Now, here he is, rising from the ashes. 

“Last night, when I went out while Kibum Hyung rested, I talked to Euisoo Hyung again.”

“Really? And?”

“He told me that I’m going to have a meeting with the board of the directors about my choreography and songwriting career. Turns out there still is a reputation to ruin I just realized. So…”

“So what happened last night can’t happen again,” I finish his thought.

“Well, not everything that happened. There are some moments I want to make happen again.” He gives off a grin, trying not to giggle at his own flirty information. 

“Wait, let’s get back to that part where you mentioned somebody you love. What’s that about exactly?” I join his kidding around.

Now he can’t hold his laugh.

We stare at each other for a while as the laughter fades. Slowly, he begins to lean into me to gently put his lips onto mine. Then carefully slides his tongue against mine as they start to dance together.

It feels different this time. It’s more tender and more passionate. It’s less wild but more gentle. Less lustful but more pleasant. Less exciting but more caring. 

He pulls away. “Look, I know we’ve never talked about this. Us. I never brought it up because I want everything to stay the same and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“Yeah, I know, me too. I like the way we are.” I smile brightly at him, involuntarily. I take a deep breath as I’ve decided to say what I’m about to say. “I love you though.”

Tears form in his eyes like they wanted to say the same thing to me. I watch them close as he starts kissing me again.

The sun has come up which marks the end of everything reckless and rebellious and the beginning of something prudent and responsible.

. . .

We wouldn’t see one another for months after that day. We lived separately for a bit to focus on our own lives, to be better. 

But we did hang out from time to time, just not as often as we did before. Lucky for us, we had each other—we still do—to realize that it’s never too late to start over. It’s from each other where we learned that each of us is like a hundred-dollar bill. No matter how much we’re folded, crumpled, and stepped on, we never lost our value. 

We never experienced what it was like to be living free as youngsters because our lives fucked us up so early. That’s also why we lived it in our late twenties. Although one certain thing we know is that we have no regrets, especially after we found each other.

It is now six years later and so much has changed. Our individual lives have never been better, and we’ve never been happier. 

Taemin is now a well-known, well-esteemed singer turned choreographer and songwriter, working with famous pop groups and soloists. He would make a comeback once in a while as a singer but it doesn’t become his priority. 

Four years ago, just a year after his career peak, Taemin showed Kibum’s secret sketched designs to a famous designer he worked with for some time for his comeback.

Long story short, Kibum finished fashion school where he was sponsored by that same designer, who also became his mentor. Later on, his social media following started growing and he would be interviewed and be featured by different magazine and publishing companies. He would work on his own clothing line little by little in collaboration with various famous fashion icons. 

Minho served the military for two years after he ran away from his father, who patched things up with him recently. After his military service, he reunited with his former soccer coach in college and they trained day and night without taking any breaks at all. I would cook and prepare us a picnic, then the rest of us would visit him in the field. He would soon make the national team. And after being reserved in the bleachers for so long, just months ago, he was responsible for their team’s rare championship and is awarded as the Most Valuable Player this season. Now, Minho becomes one of the famous successful football players who peaked in their thirties. 

. . .

As I’m tidying up for closing, I hear the bell ring as somebody enters my bakeshop. I turn around to see Taemin, who instantly puts a smile on my face.

“Hey, you,” he greets with a warm hug.

“Hi,” I say before placing a sweet kiss on his lips. “I’m almost ready. Hold on a second.”

After I check all the lights in the back rooms and am about to walk out the front door, all ready to go, I catch Taemin lost in thought. He admires the place, then looks at me. Staring at me with twinkle in his eyes. 

“What wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head and loses eye contact. “I’m just so proud of you,” he says, trying not to smile so widely.

This was the same café where Kibum and I first had lunch. This was the place where our friendship grew. This was where the rest of our lives began. When I found out that they were selling it a year ago, I had no second thoughts and did everything to get it. And now, here we are.

“Yeah, well,” I grab both of his hands and sigh in serenity and bliss. “I am proud of us.”

He looks at the ground, cringing all of a sudden.

I wrap my hands around his neck to draw him closer, and kiss him tenderly, catching his tongue on mine.

He hums in pleasure. “Do we still have time?”

I pull away, laughing at him. “No, we don’t.”

He sulks and shows a childish sad face.

“Come on. We’re late to meet the guys.”

After a half an hour drive, we arrive at Kibum’s newly renovated, newly furnished house. Now’s only the first time we’re all visiting because he wanted it to be a surprise. When I finally recognized the place, it made me almost cry. Even though he changed almost all its features, it still brought back the memories we shared out here. It’s the place where we broke in six years ago, almost getting caught by the police.

While Taemin goes in through the front door to deliver the cake I baked and the champagne we brought, my impulse orders me to head to the backyard where the swimming pool was located.

I catch Minho out on the patio, grilling meat and sausages. I spy the rest of the area, and my sight lands on the swimming pool. Turns out it’s the only feature that hasn’t changed. Although, it’s way cleaner and way more gorgeous.

I can’t help but let the tears fall.

Minho finally sees me when he takes a sip of his beer. “Y/n, hey, you’re here!” He was about to welcome me with open arms but then he notices that I’m crying. “What’s wrong?” 

My voice breaks. “I know it’s silly, but it’s just we had such memories here, and now we’re—” I can’t go on. I’m already weeping.

“Come here,” he hugs me anyway and places a peck on my forehead.

“Minho, what’s going on out there?” Kibum finally appears, Taemin following behind him holding four glasses in between his fingers and the bottle of champagne in his other hand.. 

“Nothing!” I say, holding back tears even though there’s no point.

“Oh, honey.” Kibum reaches out and wraps his arms around me. Taemin and Minho are behind me embracing each others’ hellos too.

So we have dinner at Kibum’s patio. Later on in the night, we all jump into the very swimming pool that I never thought I would see again. Back then, I thought I’d have to cherish every moment because I might not be able to live it again. But that moment happens again right now. And it will keep on happening.

We bond all night like we always have. Minho’s competitive rock-paper-scissors, Taemin’s harsh tickling, and Kibum’s savage comments. Although this time, we’re not fucked up adults anymore. 

Once again, I propose a toast. “To fucking friendship.”

“To fucking friendship!”

[anoceaninthesun]

Needs Improvement

Thanks largely to a brilliant suggestion by @shineejeya the Home Improvement AU continues with this ficlet (mini-series ??). This time the renovating teams tackle their toughest assignment yet. If only it was all about the house and not the feisty, beautiful client.

Summary: When Yamanaka Ino meddles in her best friend’s love life quest to DIY renovate her new fixer-upper, Haruno Sakura finds herself caught up in a home improvement competition between four handsome, creative questionably qualified renovators.  

(Home Improvement AU, Modern AU, Slice-of-Life AU)

Pairings: FoundersxSaku (IzuSaku, TobiSaku, MadaSaku, HashiSaku), ShikaIno, other background pairs

Rating: T

Genre(s): Romance, Comedy, General

Warnings: none really—except maybe swearing, atrocious flirting skills and the Founders being renovating crackheads (not literally, but almost)

Pt. 1, Pt.2 

Sakura had her doubts about Ino’s intentions from the moment she showed up dressed so...expensively. The season’s latest denim cut off jacket, glittering top, a perfectly pleated skirt she’d seen in an upscale boutique they went to together, and boots easily worth someone’s paycheck. Granted, her friend had been a fashionista and trendsetter since they were kids.

 But, when Ino called the night before claiming it had been too long since they’d hung out and she wanted to do a quiet, girl’s-day-in, she’d agreed. So maybe the pinkette had brought whatever was coming onto herself. She hadn’t thought much of it when the blonde said she’d swing by.

 It wasn’t really done, boxes barely unpacked and some rooms still without fresh coats of paint, but it was slowly coming along. Buying her first home at only twenty-two was a big deal, all the years of frugal spending and careful saving, of building credit and working hard culminating in such a huge achievement. 

She was so proud of herself, and determined to turn the house into the home of her dreams, one weekend at a time. “Do you want a soda or water?” she called from the kitchen. 

She could see Ino on her couch with her thumbs flying over her phone screen, not paying any attention to the movie playing. “Smoothie.” she responded, absently. 

“That’s not even one of the choices I just offered!” Sakura huffed. 

“Don’t be an ungracious hostess, Sakura.” Ino laughed.

The doorbell chimed, and Sakura went to the fridge and fished out two bottles of water. She raised a suspicious brow when Ino ran to get it before she could so much as ask. Sakura knew she wasn’t expecting anyone else over, but her friends sometimes popped up when they knew she was free (which was sadly less than ever as of late). 

Taking the water and setting the two bottles down on the coffee table, Sakura wandered into the mudroom, peering out the window. She took a startled step back, blinking at the cars parked in her driveway and on the other side of the street. Was that...a camera crew? “What the hell?” she whispered. “Ino!” She stomped to the front door, only to find her friend bouncing around, happy sounds leaving her mouth as four incredibly attractive men stepped into her home. And yes, a flood of people with cameras coming in too. 

“Hi!” Ino waved with both hands. “Thank you so much for choosing this house! I can’t believe you’re here,” she tucked a loose lock of hair behind one ear and then moved forward to shake the first man’s hand. 

Sakura caught herself doing a double take. He looked so much like her childhood friend Sasuke it wasn’t even funny. More like Sasuke than his own older brother did, and she had always thought that their resemblance was pretty strong.

 The only real noticeable differences she could spot was his longer hair (hair which stuck up messily the same way Sasuke’s tended to) hanging down his back when he turned.

 His lips also looked fuller, and she and Naruto had always reluctantly agreed Sasuke had lips to die for. Their eyes met from over Ino’s shoulder and Sakura felt her heart seize up for half a beat, averting her eyes. He smiled politely, stepping back from Ino so she could continue conversing with the strange group of people. 

“So this is the house?” A white-haired man rumbled, his sharp, red eyes drinking in every detail. His unyielding facial expression made it hard to determine whatever thoughts were running to his head. Until his head bobbed once, evidently satisfied. “It’s got good bones.” 

Good bones. Sakura had thought the same thing when she’d seen it, and that’s what had prompted her to put a considerable amount of her savings into buying it. That, and maybe a tiny splash of idealism. The location, the rooms, the cute (if not somewhat overgrown) backyard...

“You’re Yamanaka Ino, right? The friend who wrote in?” The next man who spoke brought her right out of her idyllic visions. He was huge, with a beautifully bronzed skin tone, a voice that exuded warmth, and a flannel shirt stretched over a broad chest. He shook Ino’s hand, her whole arm bouncing with his strength, “Is the home owner around?” 

“Sure is! She’s right,” Ino half turned and her eyes immediately found Sakura, who had been frozen there the entire time. “Right there!”

Just like that, any illusion of invisibility she had was ripped away, and Sakura stood exposed. The cameras were zooming in, taking in her wide eyes, ghostly pallor and everyday clothes. 

“Haruno Sakura?” The man approaching her had a voice that felt like it punched the wind from her lungs, knocking her sideways. He shifted some of his long hair aside and smirked slightly, catching her reaction. She took the hand he offered and shook it, because she wasn’t really sure what else she could do. “I assume you know why we’re here?”

“Bad assumption,” she croaked. “This wasn’t what...I don’t know why...have I seen you somewhere before?” 

The role reversal was abrupt. His cocky grin melted into a thin line as his brow arched and he retracted his hand. “You...You haven’t seen the show?”

“No.” Sakura responded, almost challengingly.

The Sasuke-Look-Alike approached with a softer expression, but it did nothing for her nerves. He was just as overwhelming up close as the man she shook hands with.

“We were contacted to renovate a home, your home. As part of a new episode of our show, From House to Home. I’m Uchiha Izuna, and that’s my charming brother—”

“Madara.” Madara introduced himself with pride, as if he had the title of royalty attached to his name. They really were Sasuke’s relatives! Ones she’d never met, and she thought she had met a good deal of his extended family.

Apparently not wanting to be left out, the man with the large presence and abundance of energy came over, his eyes merry even before the genuine grin pulled his mouth up. “I’m Senju Hashirama, and I’m excited to work with you. We’ll get your dream home complete in no time.” Tugging the solemn man to his side and placing an arm around his shoulders, he waited.

“Senju Tobirama.” he said, his tone no more ‘excited’ than his face.

Sakura blinked once, wondering why a brain that could memorize the names for all the bones in a human body with ease had so much difficulty processing this. “Nice to meet you all.” she said slowly. Her eyes darted back to the camera crew still filming. She worried her face was going to look clammy on film. Would they edit out the awkward parts at least?

“So, Ino-san’s told us a little bit, but it’d be great if we could go over what you’re looking for.” Izuna urged.

Figuring it was too late to turn back (although she owed Ino one hell of a scolding for blindsiding her), Sakura nodded. “I’ll show you around.”

______________________________________________________________

Ino flitted around like a dragonfly that couldn’t decide where to land. Sakura did her best not to break into a sweat over the pack of handsome men following her around from room to room. She had plenty of male friends.

Attractive male friends, even. But there was a hot flame at the back of her neck from the gazes tracking her that just wasn’t there when she was around her boys. The crush she’d once had on Sasuke for that awkward period when they were younger, notwithstanding.

“A more open kitchen?” Hashirama repeated. He pulled out a tablet and began fumbling with it, biting his lip briefly. Sighing loudly, Tobirama yanked it from his hand, pointedly turning it so it was no longer upside down, and began tapping.

Sakura smiled slightly. Though they were apparently something like celebrities in the world of home improvement, they gave off a very difference impression in real life. On the other hand, exactly how competent were these men?

“It’d be nice if she could have a bigger island bar. You know, for get togethers with our friends.” Ino put in, standing at one corner of the room.

For all the helpful advice she had, the renovators probably thought Ino lived with her.

“We’ve definitely done some very fun island bars before.” The older Senju said. “Remember the project with the tropical fish tank built in?” He nudged at his brother, who grimaced.

“Your ideas are somehow always even bigger than the clients.” Tobirama grumbled.

Madara wondered over to her humble stove area, examining it. Then her second-hand fridge and microwave. “These appliances are outdated. Anything new we put in would clash.” Sakura took offense to his disdainful expression. It wasn’t easy to afford a house on her budget and spring for brand new kitchenware and appliances.

“It works fine.” Sakura explained, teeth grinding. Who did this man, who probably drove around in a car the same price as the down payment on her house, think he was? To demonstrate, she brushed by his taller frame and turned on one of the eyelets of the stove. A flame sputtered to life. “Plus,” she added, putting on her syrupiest voice, “I know seasoned renovators like yourselves can work around any minor inconveniences the house has.” Madara stared at it, then her, saying nothing else.

Sakura happened to catch the shrewd carmine eyes of Tobirama, noticing how they were lit with mild amusement.

“Without a doubt!” Hashirama agreed, “So Madara, you’ll take responsibility for the kitchen area?”

Crossing his arms, the older Uchiha made a noise reminiscent of reluctant agreeance. Sakura had been friends with Sasuke for a long enough period to decode most vague noises and gestures in an Uchiha’s standard repertoire.

That was without a doubt, “challenge accepted.” ______________________________________________________________

So far, the job ahead didn’t make him feel as miserable as Tobirama had been expecting. Despite the strange newness of the situation, Haruno Sakura didn’t seem like an unreasonable client. They were currently surveying her unfenced backyard, no one more eager to talk about plans for it than Hashirama. “The great thing about how unstructured this space is right now, is that you could do almost anything with it and not worry about taking anything out first. A fence is a definite, but how do you feel about a greenstone garden?”

Sakura contemplated, a slow smile curling her lips as her best friend barely contained a squeal. “Well, I did say whenever I got my own place I’d try my hand at something like that.” 

Happy that she was on board, she and Hashirama began to talk shop, with Ino interjecting, apparently a gardening fanatic herself. Tobirama let them chat, busy watching Madara scope out the yard, presumably to see how he’d implement his own project. When he wasn’t doing that, he was boring holes into the side of the client’s head. She had to feel it. 

It was starting to agitate him a little, and he wasn’t even the focus of the man’s gaze. Ever since the little display of sass in the kitchen – something Tobirama thoroughly appreciated since quite a few clients were too busy fawning to put Madara in his place–it was hard to tell if the older of the Uchiha brothers wanted to one up them or impress Sakura. More than likely both.

“I don’t think I’d want to splurge on anything like a pool,” Sakura was shaking her head. “But it’d be nice to have something entertaining...”

“A firepit.” Izuna said instantly. “We can do one right off the patio if you want.” He took out his own tablet and showed her a three dimensional construct of what it would look like. 

Sakura leaned in, her face approving. “Oh!” Without even seeming to realize it, she gently tugged it from his hands and tapped. “Are these the different designs? I really like this one.” 

The camera shifted to show what her choice had been. Though Tobirama found the Uchiha’s penchant for firepits entirely unoriginal from a design perspective, the one Sakura liked would unfortunately be very nice surrounded by Hashirama’s horticultural touches.

 Izuna was certainly proud of himself for suggesting it, much less openly smug than his brother. But...too pleased nonetheless. In fact, he had been stealing interested looks at Sakura nearly as often as Madara. 

As they moved back into the house, Hashirama and the women in front, the younger Senju traded a very loaded look with the dark-haired brothers.That probably wasn’t going to make the final cut. The show liked to capitalize on a “friendly” if not overly-competitive rivalry, but the venomous sneers they gifted each other were far past it. 

They were all supposed to be alright with a collaboration for the sake of Sakura’s dream reno. He just had the niggling suspicion that wasn’t the only thing on their minds. Deny all they wanted, the Uchiha Team tended to shine best when the client was young, female and single. Sakura was at least two out of three things thus far. 

At the very least, she wasn’t acting besotted. That was a welcome change. She also seemed financially conscious, which was something else Tobirama appreciated after so long doing budgeting on these projects. A lot of clients didn’t truly understand how that portion of project management worked.

 Though, with how surprised she was by the whole affair, he wondered if she even knew an anonymous source had put up a very generous amount to cover the renovation.

 Sakura could have two identical houses and triple the square footage if she really wanted it. And it wasn’t beneath Madara to use that knowledge and some sex appeal to coerce someone in the pinkette’s position to let him take control of a project like this one.   

Tobirama wasn’t about to let the opposing team break ahead. The time would come shortly for him to speak with Sakura, and when they had that meeting of the minds, he would convince her that an economical reno was the way to go.  

______________________________________________________________

It took a lot longer than anticipated but here’s part two. The beginning of the SakuraxFounders interactions! I usually do slow burn, but at the same time this isn’t going to be super long, so romance may happen quicker than usual. I think this is looking more and more like it may become a mini-series (a handful of these little chapters probably), which I have never done on tumblr. Fingers crossed I figure it out. If you’re looking for more FounderxSakura fun from me, and there’s a chance you haven’t seen my oversaturated advertisement for it, you can check out: A Stitch in Time.

[jessethorn]

Some Los Angeles Tips

People are always asking me what they should do when they visit LA. I am by no means the greatest LA expert on earth, but I’ve lived here more than a decade now, and I have some ideas for you. Note that I live in the far Northeast corner of LA, and really rarely travel to the western half of town. So if you are looking for advice on Beverly Hills stuff or Malibu stuff or whatever, I am not that helpful. Also this is very subjective and really non-comprehensive in general. Just some stuff I like!

In General

Rent a car if you drive, but don't be afraid to take the bus or subway. There are some very long distances to traverse, and not everything is convenient to transit, but the transit is reasonably comfortable and efficient for a lot of purposes (going downtown, for example), particularly when combined with some judicious ride-sharing. There's plenty of parking everywhere, despite what Angelenos would have you think. Don't try to do too many things in one day, or cross town on the 10, 101 or 405 at anything even resembling rush hour (ie between like seven and ten thirty or three and seven on weekdays). Stick to one area for the day, maybe two.

The Museum of Jurassic Technology This is the best thing in Los Angeles and one of the best things in the world. It is part museum, part art project. To explain it much further might ruin the experience of visiting it, but please take my word that it is one of the most amazing places in the world.

The Watts Towers As the name suggests, they're in Watts, a bit out of the way for some trips, but absolutely without a doubt worth the travel. They're an incredible artwork/building built in a backyard out of rebar, concrete, glass and tile by an illiterate Italian immigrant in the mid-20th century. Worth signing up for a tour, they are cheap (it's a city park) and not all that long. There's also a little gallery on the site. One of the great works of American outsider art and a deeply beloved city treasure.

Other, More Regular Museums LACMA is a world-class art museum. The collection is a bit scattered (and as of this writing a wing is closed for renovation and replacement), but it's really good. It's in Mid-City on the Miracle Mile, and surrounded by other museums. The Petersen Automotive Museum is pretty cool if you're into cars. La Brea Tar Pits are more park than museum, but the museum is fun in a kitschy way, if you're into prehistoric creatures. It's also a nice place to eat lunch. In Exposition Park are a few major museums - the Natural History Museum is pretty good, though not better than others in other major cities (the Field Museum or whatever). The science museum is OK but significantly outclassed by the competition (it's no Exploratorium), though it does have a real space shuttle, which is pretty sweet. The Annenberg Space for Photography does what it says on the label. A good mid-size museum of photographs, check what show is up. The Broad is a nice contemporary art museum in a beautiful building that's right near Walt Disney Concert Hall, also an incredible building. They have a second campus in Little Tokyo that's very nice but smaller.

Architectural Stuff The LA Conservancy runs affordable walking tours that take you into some of the most fascinating built environments in LA. The subject matter ranges from Art Deco in downtown to the modern skyscrapers of the 50s through 90s. They're mostly Saturdays, but a few also run on weekdays. Can't recommend them enough if you're up for a couple hours of walking. You can go inside the Bradbury Building and up into the upper floors! It's cool. (The Conservancy also runs screenings in the big movie palaces downtown, which are mostly otherwise closed to the public. Definitely recommend those.) A couple of other architectural highlights: the Hollyhock House is in Barnsdall Park in Los Feliz. It's a restored Frank Lloyd Wright estate willed to the city many years ago that as of relatively recently runs regular tours. Also in the park is the city art museum of LA, which sometimes has some cool shows. Cal Poly Pomona students run tours on Saturdays of the Neutra VDL studio and residences in Silver Lake, which can be combined with a nice walk around the lake and some middle-aged-hipster watching. The Gamble House in Pasadena is an absolutely breathtaking craftsman mansion with a lot of

Griffith Park Griffith Park is one of the largest urban parks in the United States. It has all kinds of stuff within it - the LA Zoo, the Griffith Observatory, some great hiking. It's a great place to spend some time. If you have little kids, they will love Travel Town, a train graveyard/museum that's inside the park (and free!). The zoo is good if you like zoos, though not incredibly great or anything. The Autry Museum of the American West is worth a visit if you're into that kind of thing.

The Grove I know that we talk about The Grove a lot on Jordan, Jesse, Go. Please do not waste your vacation time at the Grove. It's a mall. It's fine. This also applies to the Americana at Brand, which we sometimes talk about because we have talked about the Grove too much. Also a mall. A little nicer than some? I went there when I needed a new power cable for my Surface.

Dodger Stadium Look, I am a Giants fan and hate the Dodgers, but if you are a baseball fan, Dodger Stadium is a great place to watch a baseball game. Even I can admit that. Angel Stadium is about as generic as it gets, but if you go on a weekday you can take a train from Union Station in LA.

The Getty Center The Getty Center is a beautiful building on a breathtaking piece of real estate. It's pretty cool to visit, but be aware that most of the art is pretty early, so if you don't like busts or paintings of feasts and stuff from the bible, then it might not be your jam art-wise. And getting up there is a whole thing. That said: it really is a beautiful building and an incredible view, so you probably won't feel like it's a waste. And if you like busts, then get your ass over there.

Downtown Stuff I will again recommend the LA Conservancy's walking tours to get a flavor of downtown LA, which is very walkable and full of incredible stuff. The main library is a beautiful edifice, the history of which is detailed in Susan Orlean's The Library Book. Worth wandering around in. Grand Central Market is a great place to get a bite, though pretty bougie at this point. Right next to Grand Central Market is Angel's Flight, a block-long funicular that is a lot of fun and costs next to nothing. Besides this, there are still functional specialized commercial districts in downtown LA. The flower district is particularly fun - the big flower market opens early for wholesale sales but is open to the public and there are tons of stores selling silk and artificial flowers which are very fun to wander through. There are also areas with stores specializing in selling imported toys, store fixtures (a favorite of mine), jewelry and fabric. Most of the fabric is kinda garbage honestly but there is a good tailor supply store called B. Black and Sons and a great hat making store (worth visiting even if you don't make hats) called California Millinery Supply. FIDM also has a thrift store with cheap fabric leftover from LA-based factories.

Movies The Arclight is a fancy movie chain, and the Hollywood location (near Amoeba Records) is also the home of the Cinerama Dome, which is pretty fun. The Vista is a great single-screen theater on the east side. There are some great rep houses on the west side - check your local listings.

Comedy Stuff The UCB has a few great shows every night at both locations. It's hard to go wrong, though you should be aware you will be seeing things that are a little rougher than whatever makes it to your town as a road show. The signature improv show is Asssscat, which is absolutely as good as it gets. Dynasty Typewriter (right by our office) has a lot of great shows these days. A great standup show is Hot Tub at the Virgil. The big comedy clubs have pretty comedy-club-y comedy in them, not necessarily what I'd recommend, though you will certainly see a lot of relatively big names doing sets. The Improv Lab sometimes has MaxFun-adjacent headliners who've put together their own lineups, as does Flappers in Burbank. Largo has bigger-name shows of this variety as well, and if you go see a show there headlined by a Sarah Silverman or Patton Oswalt, the lineup will likely be packed with their pals, even if they aren't advertised.

Some Places To Eat This is NOT a comprehensive list. First: Jonathan Gold died a few years ago, but he is still the king of LA food. Anything he recommended in the Weekly or Times is still the gold standard (no pun intended). He was also a wonderful writer and a champion of foodways that are unfamiliar to many in LA, much less outside LA. If you are a food nerd, KCRW's Good Food is a superb local food show (and podcast) produced by Nick Liao, who used to work at MaxFun.

Philipe's The French Dip A restaurant that's been around for literally a century, with sawdust on the floor, big jars of pickled eggs, ladies in hairnets and really tasty French Dips. They have competing claims to having invented them but the other competitor turned into one of those goofy sleeve-garter-barman subway tile exposed lightbulb places about ten years ago. Philipe's is totally for real and great.

Pie N Burger This is just a burger place in Pasadena that sells classic SoCal-style burgers and is really great. Cash only, though.

Langer's The only one of the Jewish delis in LA that's really worth a special trip. The #19 (pastrami, cole slaw and swiss on rye) is truly one of the world's greatest foods. Pastrami here is better than anywhere else I've ever eaten, including those famous delis in New York.

Park's BBQ 

One of many great Korean BBQ restaurants in LA, but the only one recommended to me personally by Jonathan Gold. (I also like Soot Bull Jeep, which barbeques over charcoal and will leave you smelling like smoke, and Hae Jang Chong for all-you-can-eat.) (There are LOTS of different kinds of Korean food, but I am not an expert on the soups and blood sausages and bibimbaps and etc., but if you're adventurous, you could eat a different Korean food at a different spot every month in LA and make out well.)

Guelagetza Oaxacan food is one of the best kinds of food in the world, and Guelagetza is an LA institution that serves good-quality Oaxacan food. Moles, tlayudas, queso fundido. If you've never eaten any of this stuff, a couple of chicken moles are a great place to start (as is Guelagetza).

Dim Sum You can drive all the way to the San Gabriel Valley and eat at one of the many wonderful dim sum places there. That's where the best stuff is. If it's not worth a special trip to you, I like a place called Lunasia in Pasadena, and they also serve dim sum for dinner. Not a HUGE menu but good food.

Mozza This pizzeria, now a sort of group of restaurants, is an unimpeachably excellent Fancy Meal in LA. So (per my producer Kevin) are the other restaurants run by the same chef, Nancy Silverton.

The Dal Rae This is an old-timey fancy restaurant in Pico Rivera, a semi-industrial part of LA. It's just a great place to wear a suit to and eat Clams Casino. Famous for their table-made Caesar salad (legit great) and pepper steak (too peppery for me). Generally the food is excellent in a 1955 sort of way.

Bludsoe's Best Texas-style barbeque I've had outside of Texas. Used to be a window down by the airport, now a fancier place on La Brea, but I'm told the food is just as good at the fancy place.

Pupusas I love to eat pupusas. Maybe my favorite food. I really like to eat pupusas at Los Molcajetes on Hoover in Westlake (near Koreatown). Note they are weirdly big here (a regional variation of some kind) and they only take cash. (Note also this is one of 10,000 restaurants in LA named Los Molcajetes.)  I also sometimes eat at a nice sit-down Salvadoran place called Las Cazuelas on Figueroa in Highland Park.

In N Out In N Out is good! It will not change your life! But it is very tasty, especially for a $4 food! Some people complain about the fries, which are fresh-cut and fried only once and thus are less crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside than some others! I think they are fine! Try In N Out, why not! But maybe don't make a whole special trip to do so!

Tacos and Other SoCal Mexican Food Stuff Everyone has their own favorite taco places, and none of my favorites are so special they should be destinations. They are mostly my favorites because they are close to my home and work. But I can tell you that I like to get sit-down Mexican-American food at La Abeja on Figueroa in LA, where I eat a lot of carne adovada and enchiladas and sometimes albondigas or breakfast. I also really like to eat carne en su jugo at Carnes Asadas Pancho Lopez on Pasadena in Lincoln Heights. I eat tacos from Tacos La Estrella on York in Highland Park or the truck (with no name) across from the Mexican consulate on Park View at sixth in Westlake. At night I sometimes get cheap tacos (I like buche) from the place that opens up on Pasadena at Avenue 37. I like the shrimp and fish tacos at Via-Mar on Figueroa. I like Huaraches from Huaraches Azteca on York. The burritos at Yuca’s in Los Feliz (or Pasadena) are great, though they are totally different from the SF-style burritos that I grew up eating. I sometimes get nachos at Carnitas Michoacan on Broadway in Lincoln Heights, which feature meat and cheese sauce and are gross but also really, really good.  I have also eaten at the very fancy Mexican restaurant Border Grill and to be honest it is really good even though the interior feels a little like a cross between a fancy restaurant in 1989 and a Chili's.

El Coyote This is a famous Mexican-American restaurant from the early part of the 20th century, but you shouldn't go there because the food sucks.

Stores I Like This is going to be REAL subjective, but a few stores I like which sell the kinda stuff you'd expect me to want. &etc - A great (small) antique store at 1913 Fremont in Pasadena. The Last Bookstore - A downtown bookstore that is the closest thing to a "destination" book store in LA. Good selection and reasonable prices on used books, and a nice art book room. (Records as well, but they're not very good.) Gimme Gimme Records - I like this record store in Highland Park. You'll pay retail here, but reasonable retail, and the selection (while not immense) is really excellent. Good stuff in all genres.

Secret Headquarters - One time at this small comics store in Silver Lake the lady at the counter asked if I was Jesse from Jordan Jesse Go and they won my business forever in that moment. Don Ville - My friend Raul makes and sells shoes (and repairs them!) in the northern part of Koreatown. If you have the dough, get him to make you some shoes! The Bloke - A really great little menswear store in Pasadena. Sells cool (expensive) trad-ish brands like Drake's and Hilditch & Key and Alden. The Good Liver - A beautiful shop in Little Tokyo specializing in perfect home goods. The perfect scissors, the perfect dish towel and so forth. Some things are expensive, some aren't. H Lorenzo Archive - The "outlet" shop of a designer clothing store on the west side. Discounts aren't huge, but the selection is really interesting, and they have a good collection of one of my favorite brands, Kapital. Sid Mashburn - Excellent classic clothing shop on the west side. Suit Supply & Uniqlo - if you haven't got these where you live, they're the places I usually send people for reasonably-priced tailored clothes (Suit Supply) and cheap basics (Uniqlo). Olvera Street - This is an old-timey tourist attraction, a street of folks selling Mexican handcrafts (and their Chinese-made analogs). Right near Union Station and Philipe's, and a great place to buy factory-made huaraches (the shoes, not the food). They even have sizes big enough for me, which is pretty much impossible to find in Mexico or most Mexican-American shoe stores. Thrift Stores - I go to a lot of thrift stores but if I told you which ones you might buy something I would have bought so I'm not going to tell you which thrift stores.

Flea Markets You may know I am at the flea market every weekend. The good fleas are on Sundays, and there's one every week. First Sunday of the month is Pasadena City College, a big (and free) market with pretty reasonable pricing. PCC has a pretty big record section in addition to the regular flea market stuff. Second weekend is the famous Rose Bowl flea, which is HUGE and has a big new goods section (blech) and vintage clothing area (good!). Third weekend is Long Beach Airport, which is a great overall show. Fourth is Santa Monica airport, which is smaller and a little fancier but very nice. The Valley flea is also fourth Sundays, at Pierce College, and that's not huge but sometimes surprises me. With all of these, the earlier you can arrive, the better you'll do (not least for weather reasons). I usually try to get there around 7:30 or 8:00. The Rose Bowl in particularl is a 4-6 hour operation if you do most of it. There are also a lot of swap meets - I don't know enought to recommend any in particular, but these are much more about tube socks and batteries and bootleg movies than antiques and collectibles. Still can be fun, though, and are certainly a proud SoCal tradition. (The Silverlake Flea and the Melrose Trading Post are garbage, don't go there.)

Going to the Beach I'm not a huge beach goer, but by all means go to the beach if that's your thing. The Annenberg Community Beach House in Santa Monica is a great place to base your operation, though you have to arrive in the morning on busy days to get a parking spot.

Kid Stuff I mentioned Travel Town, that's pretty great. Kidspace in Pasadena is a very good children's museum. The Bob Baker Marionette Theater is a great place to see a marionette show straight out of 1966. There's a good aquarium in Long Beach though it's a bit nutty there on weekends, and the zoo in Griffith Park is a good zoo. I really like Descanso Gardens, a big botanical garden northeast of LA. Huntington Gardens is also very nice, though it's much more expensive and hotter.

Geography Los Angeles is BIG. I'd say try to spend each of your days within about a sixth of it, geographically. It's entirely possible to do west side and east side stuff on the same trip, but don't try to do them on the same day. Look at a map and look at driving times when you're planning. Neighborhoods in LA are BIG, geographically speaking, don't assume two things in the same neighborhood are an easy walk. There aren't a ton of urban neighborhoods suitable for wandering in the way there are in some places. A few manageable general areas for stuff you might like: Silverlake/Los Feliz/Echo Park, Koreatown, Highland Park, downtown, Little Tokyo and the Arts District. (I live in the northeast part of town, and don't spend much time on the west side, which is one reason why this list focuses more on east side stuff. Some folks like West Hollywood and Venice on the west side. Long Beach and Pasadena are both neat towns with their own thing going on that might be worth a visit, too.)

Books & Media The Great Los Angeles Book is probably City of Quartz, a socialist-leaning history of LA. I really loved Susan Orlean's The Library Book, which is about the library as an institution, but also specifically the LA central library and the mysterious fire that nearly destroyed it. And a wild guy named Charles Lummis who was one of the founding fathers of LA culture and was really something else. (You can visit his house - it's right off the 110 near Highland Park.) An LA movie I love is The Long Goodbye, which is sort of a predecessor/inspiration for The Big Lebowski. A shaggy mystery directed by Altman where Elliott Gould just sort of wanders around LA. Another really cool one is Los Angeles Plays Itself, a long (long!) film essay about the ways the real Los Angeles has been used to create fictional worlds in film over the decades.

TV Tapings I'm not an expert in TV tapings. I can say that I've been to a few Conan tapings, and while it takes a LOOOOONG time to get in there, the show is fun to watch live. This is generally true of talk shows and most game shows, which tape more or less as-live. Sitcoms take WAY longer than you were expecting them to. Make sure to try to book tickets early if you have something you want to see. No matter what it's a most-of-the-day thing.

Nightlife Is a word that describes evening activities - especially dance clubs. I am old and don't know about these things.

The Magic Castle I can't get you in, please don't ask me to. I went a couple times. It's fine. If you're not into magic you're not missing too much. If you are, then obviously, it's a priority.

The Walk of Fame and Hollywood Not recommended, not worth it, don't bother.

Disneyland Why would you want my opinion about Disneyland? It's Disneyland. You're in or you're out.

San Diego If you happen to plan a side trip to San Diego, you can take the Amtrak there, and it is a breathtakingly beautiful and exceedingly pleasant trip. I have no San Diego expertise to impart beyond that, however.

[wroteasongabouther]

the one when y/n visits harry while he’s making hs2 and magic mushrooms are involved

authors note: this is apart of my ‘grumpy’ series, a bit of info that is in that story does fall into this blurb too so reading it first would be good. but it isn’t necessary. on a side note, i have no personal experience of doing shrooms, but i’ve seen people on them so i sort of wrote from that little bit of info i have. hope you guys like it! :)

authors note part 2: i want to warn you it’s a bit long for a blurb, also if you’re uncomfortable with drug use than majority of this won’t be for you.

grumpy fic page // masterlist // talk to me about it!

—

Making the move from New York to LA was necessary. Not only with your career lifting up, gathering another client to manager, but also with your boyfriend now spending most of his time here o record his second solo album. Also California was home. As much as you enjoyed the city life of New York, you knew nothing would ever be like home was.

“I’ll see you tomorrow mom,” you say aloud, your call connected through the Bluetooth of your car. She had given you her typical weekly call as you were driving down to Malibu.

“Alright sweetie,” she says. “Please do call before you come over, and you’re sure Harry will like Ribollita?” She mentions, again, of the traditional Italian meal she was planning to make.

“He’ll eat and enjoy anything you put in front of him, mom,” you say. “I’m at the security booth, so I need to go now,” you explain as the security guard on duty of the studio here in Malibu that Harry had been holed up in for a couple days now.

“Alright sweetie, love you,” your mother says.

“Love you too, bye!”

The call ends just as you ease your car to a stop at the security booth, hitting the button to your left just once for your window to automatically roll down. The security guard pulls out a clipboard and gives you a short smile.

“ID please,”

“Right,” you sigh, putting your car in park quickly in order to reach over the console to grab ahold of your purse that was at the floor of the passenger seat. Searching through it, you finally find your wallet near the bottom and slide out your ID. “Here you go,” you say with a smile as you hand it over.

The guard looks it over, checking if your facial features match, before scribbling something on the clipboard and handing back the ID card. He then hands over a parking pass for you before pressing a button and then gates open for you.

It doesn’t surprise you that Harry’s recording in a beach house that half had been turned into a studio that’s highly secure. Seeing as Jeff’s father owned a few places in this community it made sense that Harry had taken over one of the homes for himself and his team. The homes themselves were stunning. A dream home of yours, of course, so you were fully enjoying stopping by whenever you had the chance and getting to experience being in one of the most gorgeous houses you’d ever step inside.

It was two levels, a full garage attached too, with a large wrap around porch to complete it. It was a grey colour with white trim along the windows and the porch was white too. With perfect landscaping around it too. The ocean was a bit away but it still made a beautiful view, so there was a backyard too with many bushes and trees lining the property for privacy matters.

After parking your car, you walk up the small path to the front doors and walk inside the house. It smells like there’s a few candles burning close by, filling the air with the lovely aroma. You’re kicking off your flip flops just as you hear the familiar jingle of one of Harry’s producers dogs. The gorgeous French Bulldog comes straight to you, breathing heavy as you bend down and give him all your love and attention. 

“Oh, Mr Judy I missed you too,” you coo at the dog, cupping his face for only a second before he’s licking at your hands. Your heart bursts at his licks, oh how you wanted a dog of your own. Too bad life was just too busy. 

You pick Judy up in your arms and begin your walk down the hallway to what would be a guest bedroom with an ensuite and full walk in closet but it was renovated into a studio. The walk in closet was now the recording booth, and there was no bed in the bedroom. Just a loveseat, a couple chairs, and many different switch boards and other confusing recording gear you had no idea about. You’re muttering silly questions that you know Judy can’t answer about his day and how he’s feeling as you walk into the room. 

It’s dimly light, curtains hiding away any daylight that could seep into the room. A few candles are in fact burning on the coffee table that’s set between the love seat and the recording gear. The usual three faces you’ve grown to know over the past month or so are all seated around the room as you walk in, smiling at each of them. While the whereabouts of your boyfriend is quickly answered as you hear his voice over the speakers set up within the room. You put Judy down and turn to look through the window that was installed to look into the recording booth. Harry’s head is hung back as he belts out another mesmerizing note into the microphone.

“He sounds great,” you sigh as Harry finishes singing whatever backing vocals he was doing and he’s then scribbling something down in that same worn out brown leather journal you knew he held close to him every single day. 

“Yeah, he’s really been on a roll today,” Tyler, one of the two producers/mixers/who plays every single interment known to man for Harry’s songs - and Judy’s owner - states before hitting a few buttons on the switch boards in front of him.

“We’ve written almost two full songs, and it’s not even the evening yet,” Kid states from where he’s sitting on the loveseat. 

“Damn,” you breathe out and rest your hands on your hips just as Harry’s eyes flicker up and find you standing in the room. 

He lifts, what you assume is a glass of red wine, to his lips for a long sip before he sets it on the small table in the recording booth and takes off the headphones he had on. He steps out of the booth and has his arms around you in an instant. You are grinning as he’s squeezing your body tight, as though he’s trying to melt the two of you together. 

“Hey,” you chuckle, brushing a hand through his mess of hair quickly before the embrace is over. 

“Hey, thought you’d be here earlier,” Harry pouts. 

“I just had to do a few things for Meghan’s bachelorette party tomorrow night,” you shrug. Your second client that you started to manage just this past year, Meghan Trainor, was getting married in a month so it’s been more personal things you’ve been helping her with than business. Not that you were complaining, you loved weddings. 

“Her big days coming up soon,” Harry hums before you two are sitting together on the loveseat with Kid. You opt for sitting on the arm of the couch, not wanting to squish with Harry and Kid already sitting on the smaller area. 

“Yup,” you nod. 

All of you continue to make talk of how things have been. Seems Harry’s a bit of a lyrical genius in the moment, scribbling down in his journal as everyone is talking. He’s sipping his red wine, smiling, and honestly in one of the best moods you’ve seen him in in a while. You reach over and touch his arm, catching his attention away from whatever he was looking at on his phone. 

“Did you guys want me to make those pizzas now?” You ask, referring to the plan you had of making homemade pizzas since Kid had gone grocery shopping to buy what you needed. 

“Yeah, we could eat now,” Harry nods. 

You give him a smile before standing up and telling the others that you were going to get started on making dinner. Judy gets up from where he was laying by Tyler and follows you out to the kitchen. You can her the light sound of whatever song they’re working on as you are making the pizzas, moving your head along to the beat and swaying your hips too. 

It’s when the pizzas are just about ready to get out of the oven that Harry joins you in the kitchen. He’s by your side in an instant, snaking his arms around your waist as you’re typing a response to another email. Harry rests his chin on your shoulder, waiting patiently for you to quit typing and pay him attention - shockingly. 

“Pizza is just about done,” you say. 

“It smells good,” he states, but then he’s rubbing his face into the nook of your neck and brushing your hair back and forth. “You smell good too,” he adds, mumbling close to your ear. 

“Do I?” You taunt, giggling as he tickles you slightly.

“Mhmm,” Harry hums, “like strawberries,” 

“It’s my new shampoo,” 

“Well, I quite like it,” 

You’re turning in his arms then, bringing yours to rest at his shoulders as he’s leaning down and pressing his lips against yours. It feels like years since you’ve last shared a long passionate kiss, in reality it’s only been about a day now but you’ve missed his touch and affection. But you supposed his focus needed to be on making this new album. 

“Missed you,” Harry mumbles as he plants a kiss to your neck. 

“I missed you too,” you sigh. 

“Will you stay over here tonight?” Harry asks, looking in your eyes now. You can see the lustful spark in his gaze. The thought of having sex causes your core to ache, sending a shiver down your spine too. But sleeping over wasn’t your original plan, you had lots of things to do tomorrow and you were hoping to get a good nights sleep tonight.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. Harry pouts. “I’m just really busy right now with work, I should get home tonight,” you explanation doesn’t change his facial expression at all. Seems your wine drunk boyfriend was feeling extra needy today.

Just as you’re about to kiss him again, Judy starts barking. You turn out of Harry’s grasp and look to see what he’s barking at. Harry grunts and groans, obviously grumpy that Judy stole your attention away from him. Looking to see Judy was simply barking at the sight of people on the beach, you reach down to pet Judy before turning back to where Harry stood in the kitchen. The scowl on his face makes you laugh. 

“Oh how I love that dashing scowl,” you joke. 

“I’m sure you do,” Harry says deadpan. 

You roll your eyes and give him a quick peck before reaching for the oven mitts sitting on the counter beside him and opening the oven to take out the pizzas. Harry mutters that he’ll go get the others for food before he’s walking out of the room, leaving you to cut the pizzas and get the plates ready for everyone to eat.

—

It’s not till after dinner that Harry and the guys bring up what they had planned for the evening. And it wasn’t something you would have guessed in a million years. 

“Magic mushrooms?” You question, eyebrows raised up. 

“Yeah, get the creative juices flowing maybe,” Harry shrugs, finishing off his glass of wine - the bottle was nearly finished now. 

“Or just have a good trip,” Tyler nods with a smile. You chuckle and shake your head. 

You’ve maybe smoked a bit of weed before, obviously have drank liquor before, but anything else was completely and utterly new for you. And not something you really had planned to give a try either. Harry nudges you with his elbow, knocking you out of your thoughts. You look at him and he smile. His grumpy mood didn’t last too long after you guys all ate. In fact, right now talking about doing these magic mushrooms he looks pretty happy.

“Let’s do it,” he says, “I’ve never tried them before either, it’ll be an experience together,” he exclaims. 

You sigh and lean back into the couch. Tyler has the bag of them in his hand, mentioning that he was going to make it into a tea before. You keep your eyes on the bag though as you think of your option here. It would be quite the experience to have. Doing psychedelics isn’t nearly as extreme as the other drugs in the world. And you were going to do them in a very control environment with people you trusted. You look back at Harry and let out another sigh.  

“Okay,” you say, “I’m in,” 

Harry grins, leaning over to kiss you as Tyler is walking out of the room to get this magic mushroom tea ready for you all to do. It was only you, Harry, Tyler and Kid now - the other producer having left after dinner. Harry’s hand on your thigh breaks you away from your thoughts again. 

“Are you excited?” He asks. 

You shrug a shoulder, “I don’t know, kinda I guess, just never like thought I’d do shrooms,” you explain. 

“I think it’ll be fun though,” he nods, giving your thigh a squeeze. 

“All I’m saying is if I have a bad trip, you’re one hundred percent in charge of helping me,” you say, pointing a finger at him. Harry chuckles and takes the hand you’re pointing at him in his hand, bringing you closer to him as he tugs you into his side. 

“I’ve got you, love, don’t you worry,” he says. 

You only respond with an eye roll, but Harry’s quick to return it. He has his arm around you and is pulling you into his side in a fact movement, causing you to giggle. He places a sweet kiss to your forehead as you snuggle into his body, His arm stays around your body, while his other pulls out his cell phone from his pocket. The two of you scroll through his Instagram together, you’d reach up a finger to double tap a few posts for him. 

And then, within what feels like no time at all, Tyler is coming back into the room with what going to be your first time doing some real drugs. You sigh while hiding your head into Harry’s side. He chuckles as you mutter something about how your father must be looking down on you, feeling oh so proud. 

“Okay,” you say while sitting up. Harry’s already got your cup in his hand, ready to hand it to you. “Let’s freaking do this,” you say dramatically and take the cup of magic mushroom tea.

“Just drink it normally,” Tyler instructs just as he has taken a sip of his own cup. “It’ll take a few moments to kick in, and then we’ll be having a good time,” he says with a smile. 

“Cool,” you mutter. 

“Cool,” Harry mocks you, smiling over the rim of his cup before taking a sip of his tea. 

You stick out your tongue at him before having the first sip of your own tea. It taste normal, just like a more earthy tea with a spoon of sugar in it maybe. You sit back and have another sip as Kid starts talking about a song they must’ve been recording earlier. As you sit back and relax into the couch, sipping your tea, you realize that you’ve nearly drank half maybe a little too quickly. Making an ‘oops’ face, you set down the tea on the coffee table just as Harry gets up to check out whatever on the switch board that Kid and Tyler had to show him.

You’re laying on the couch looking up at the ceiling in no time once you realize you have the couch to yourself. Harry’s in the booth, his voice seeming low and slow as you shut your eyes and listen to him record a few lines over and over again. When you open your eyes, you focus on your cup of tea and decide to lean up and finish it - if you were doing this, you were doing it all. 

After the cup is empty, you sit up a bit and zone out on a poster hung up on the wall across from you. It’s a Led Zepplin poster, vintage obviously, as it’s from when they performed sometime here in LA. Oh how you’d love to have lived back then, you think with a sigh. 

“Y/N,” Harry calls out your name, bringing your attention away from the poster.

“Huh?”

Harry chuckles, giving you a heart melting grin, “I’ve tried getting your attention for like five minutes now,” he states. 

“Oh,” 

“Been staring at that poster for a while,” Tyler adds, “feeling it?” He smirks, seeming to finish off his own cup of tea now before setting the empty cup by yours. There’s the other two empty on the table suddenly too. Suppose everyone finished their tea while you were zoned out. 

"Yeah, I feel good,” you say with a smile.

“We think this song’s about done,” Harry states, taking a seat beside you on the couch. “I wanted you to listen to it,” he adds. He gives you a small smile now, but it’s still as heart melting as his grin. 

“I’d love to,” you nod. Tyler turns around and hits a button on the board, one of the millions, and then the song is playing.

What do you mean, 

I’m sorry by the way

Never coming back down

Harry’s voice fills the room, causing your stomach to fill with butterflies. You felt so proud of him. Just as you did when you first heard his songs for his first album. You recognize the backing vocals from what he must’ve been recording when you first arrived. It’s amazing, you think, feeling like the shrooms are only enhancing how much you love this song.

“It’s so good,” you sigh, leaning into Harry as the song ends. You close your eyes as his hand falls onto your thigh. “Play it again,” you say. Harry chuckles, then the song starts over again as per your request. Harry is tapping your thigh to the beat, sending a shiver down your spine. 

“I see,” you stop talking as you realize it’s simply word vomit from the shrooms in your system. Harry turns to you and smiles.

“What do you see, babe?” He questions.

“It’s nothing,” you shake your head.

“No, I value your thoughts. You know what your talking about,” he assures you.

“Okay,” you sigh and close your eyes as Harry’s song keeps playing softly. “I see you surrounded by people. Sort of pulling and pushing at you, but not roughly, almost like they’re being lured to you and your aura or something. And you’re just letting them touch you and singing to the camera, maybe stumbling a bit at the contact. And,” you pause, opening your eyes and zoning out on the magazine on the coffee table. “And you’re shirtless,” you say.

“Sounds like one hell of a time,” Kid snorts, you look up to catch him smirking while clicking away at his laptop. The song starts over again.

“I like it,” Harry nods.

“Me too,” you agree.

“Well duh,” Harry teases, pushing your knee gently with his hand. You sway back and forth, it feels like you’re moving a lot slower than you must be. “You thought it up, genesis.” Harry states.

“Oh,” you giggle, “right.”

“You’re so fucked,” Harry says.

“Maybe,” you giggle again. You don’t think you’ve giggled this much in your whole life. Lifting your eyes from the switch board across the room, you look at Harry now. He’s staring right back at you. He didn’t seem as fucked up.

“M’pretty fucked up too,” he admits. It’s almost like he’s read your mind as you thought of wether or not he was as fucked up as you. “No, not as bad as you, babe,” Harry chuckles.

“Oh, I’m not just thinking this am I?” You question, realizing you were speaking your thoughts aloud.

“No,” Harry smiles.

You shrug and look over his shoulder as the little bit of daylight coming through the window behind him. The suns probably going to go down in a couple hours. You sigh and lean forward, elbows resting on your knees as you think of standing. Why did it seem like such a hard task to do though?

“Let me help you, love,” Harry mutters as he stands up first. He grabs your hands and lifts you up without warning, causing you to nearly fall right into him.

“Let’s go outside, lay out back maybe?”

“On the porch? Sure,” Harry shrugs, then turns to his team. “You guys want to come?” He asks.

The group says some sort of yes answer and then you’re leading the way. Thankfully Judy gets the memo and gets up from his bed as quickly as he can, following you out the back door and his paws make way down the few steps to the grass. You smile and skip down the steps, grabbing one of the many toys around to play with him. Not even five minutes pass before you’re giving up on fetch and sitting down on the grass, then kicking your legs out and laying on your back.

The clouds seem to be moving faster then life itself. Forming funny shapes to make you giggle to yourself. Judy nudges you’re arm a few times, to which you respond by petting him. He’s so soft.

“He just got a bath today,” Harry states as he comes up beside you. You look to him. The purple and pink skies behind him make him look even prettier than ever. “You’re the pretty one, babe,” he says with a smile.

“Can’t seem to keep my thoughts to myself,” you hum while shutting your eyes for a moment.

Harry chuckles. He’s bending down, deciding to lay down with you.

“It’s like that voice in my head is completely gone,” you say.

“That voice in your head used to hate me,” Harry states. You furrow your brows dramatically and snap your head to look at him. Harry’s green eyes are already on you. “What,” he snorts and looks back up at the fading purples of the sky, “you used to hate me. Used to yell at me all the time. I’m sure that voice inside your head would curse me out more than you ever said aloud,” he explains. You think maybe Harry has lost that voice in his head too now, maybe the shrooms are effecting him the same way. 

“I was constantly fighting my voice in my head through all those years before,” you sigh and find your gaze back on the sky too. “It was always finding the best in your grumpy moods and bad decisions ever since I first met you. And I would have constant battles with myself, usually talking to myself when I was alone even, fighting about how I could not let myself fall for you.”

“You talked to yourself when you were alone?” Harry questions, letting out a chuckle, “fucking weirdo,” he adds. You throw your arm over and smack him in the chest. He chuckles some more as he lets out a small groan. 

He’s leaning over you in more fast movements that you can’t even focus on how he moved so quickly. It was for sure the drugs effecting you. But you know that it’s not the drugs when you feel those butterflies in you stomach reacting to how close Harry’s face is to yours. You give him a smile and pucker your lips, asking for a kiss. 

“Needy,” Harry mutters. You roll your eyes but it’s cut short as Harry gives you what you want. His lips feel a hundred times softer than ever before. You could melt right there on the grass from how his kiss made you feel - maybe the drugs were effecting how Harry made your body feel.

“Do you even have anything to say on how I said I used to fight my feelings in my head?” You ask, not even realizing how you’re whining at your boyfriend. Harry folds his hands on your stomach and rests his chin on them.

“I think it’s hard to believe we didn’t end up like this earlier than just last year,” he states. 

“Really?” You snort. “We did not get along, but you are you and I can’t deny that some times I was just trying to find the good in your grumpy self.”

“And I always found you attractive,” Harry states nonchalantly. “Especially when you were yelling at me,” he adds with a quick nod. 

“So all the time then?” You joke. 

“Pretty much,” Harry says, the corners of his lips turning up into a smirk.

“Cute,” you hum. 

Harry rolls his eyes at you before he’s leaning forward to kiss you once more. You sigh into the kiss and let the effects of the magic mushrooms make you feel like you’re melting into him again. Harry and you share the passionate kiss under the sunset for a while till you two decide that you need to breathe again. 

“You should go make more beautiful music,” you say. 

Harry sighs and sits up, “becomes a big hot shot manager in the industry and now you think you can boss me around, hey?” 

“Baby, I’ve always been bossing you around,” you state, propping yourself up on your elbows as Harry begins to stand up now. Judy gets excited at his actions, letting out a few barks too. “And you love it,” you add while petting Judy. 

“Only cause I love you,” Harry says, offering a hand to help you up. You take it and it feels like you’re flying into the air as he lifts you up to your feet. Letting out a little gasp, you grab onto his arm tight and let your body settle once standing fully.

“Well,” you smile at Harry. “I love you too, I guess,” you say. 

“Mhmm,” Harry hums. You roll your eyes at him before leaning to crash your lips to his yet again. You cut it short though, causing Harry to furrow his brows at you and pout. 

“Go make music,” you say and give him a little push. Harry rolls his eyes at you now, a scowl finding his face before he’s walking up to the back porch with his feet dragging behind him. “Grumpy,” you mutter, but there’s no stopping the smile that’s on your face - and there’s no blaming the magic mushrooms on the overwhelming love you felt for Harry.

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Merriam-Webster’s top word of 2020 not a shocker: pandemic (AP) If you were to choose a word that rose above most in 2020, which word would it be? Ding, ding, ding: Merriam-Webster on Monday announced “pandemic” as its 2020 word of the year. “That probably isn’t a big shock,” Peter Sokolowski, editor at large for Merriam-Webster, told The Associated Press. “Often the big news story has a technical word that’s associated with it and in this case, the word pandemic is not just technical but has become general. It’s probably the word by which we’ll refer to this period in the future,” he said. Pandemic, with roots in Latin and Greek, is a combination of “pan,” for all, and “demos,” for people or population. The latter is the same root of “democracy,” Sokolowski noted. The word pandemic dates to the mid-1600s, used broadly for “universal” and more specifically to disease in a medical text in the 1660s, he said. That was after the plagues of the Middle Ages, Sokolowski said.

Biden breaks foot while playing with dog, to wear a boot (AP) President-elect Joe Biden will likely wear a walking boot for the next several weeks as he recovers from breaking his right foot while playing with one of his dogs, his doctor said. Fractures are a concern generally as people age, but Biden’s appears to be a relatively mild one based on his doctor’s statement and the planned treatment. At 78 he will become the oldest president when he’s inaugurated in January.

Borrowing and debt bonanza (WSJ) Companies and governments have issued a record $9.7 trillion of bonds and other debt this year, as extraordinary support from the Federal Reserve and other central banks has fueled a borrowing bonanza. The total covers the year to Nov. 26 and includes nearly $5.1 trillion of corporate bonds, as well as some kinds of loans, including riskier leveraged loans, according to Refinitiv. Both figures already exceed those for any prior full year. More broadly, the Institute of International Finance recently said global debt had risen $15 trillion to $272 trillion in the first nine months of this year, and is set to hit $277 trillion by year-end—a record 365% of world gross domestic product. The IIF is an industry group representing hundreds of financial institutions. Its figures are broader, and include household debt.

Newsom says stay-at-home order likely if COVID-19 surge continues (SFGate) California Gov. Gavin Newsom said in a Monday press conference the state is considering a new stay-at-home order in purple-tier counties if cases continue to surge. The state is experiencing the highest rate of increase in COVID-19 cases since the start of the pandemic. With 51 of the state's 58 counties in the most restrictive tier, 99% of the population could fall under a lockdown. The governor didn't outline the details of the potential new order, but when the state issued one in March it required people to stay indoors except for essential services and exercise.

The pandemic is forcing some men to realize they need deeper friendships (Washington Post) It took a global pandemic and a badly timed breakup for Manny Argueta to realize just how far he had grown apart from his guy friends. In the spring, after the 35-year-old had left the home he shared with his former girlfriend and moved into a studio in Falls Church, Va., on his own, he would go an entire week without saying a word. There were no more game days with the guys, no more Friday nights in D.C. bars, and Argueta was starved for social interaction. For more than a decade, psychologists have written about the “friendship crisis” facing many men. Male friendships are often rooted in “shoulder-to-shoulder” interactions, such as watching a football game or playing video games, while women’s interactions are more face-to-face, such as grabbing a coffee or getting together for a glass of wine. “The rules for guys pursuing other guys for friendships are not clear,” one man said. “Guys don’t want to seem too needy.” But the pandemic might be forcing this dynamic to change. In emails and interviews with The Washington Post, dozens of men shared stories about Zoom poker games, backyard cigar nights, and neighborhood-dad WhatsApp chains where casual chats about sports and politics have suddenly led to deep conversations. The moment feels heavier and so do the conversations. Some men said their friendships have begun to look more like those of their wives and girlfriends. “We are so used to finding a distraction to help us when we should be addressing what’s in front of us,” Argueta said. “The world needed to slow down … we should slow down, too.”

Another idyllic Italian village selling $1 houses (CNN) Italy’s €1 homes are back—and this time, what’s up for grabs is a collection of houses in the southern region of Molise. Castropignano—a village topped by a ruined medieval castle, 140 miles southeast of Rome—is the latest community to offer up its abandoned buildings to newcomers. It follows in the steps of Salemi in Sicily and Santo Stefano di Sessanio in Abruzzo, both of which have launched initiatives to encourage newcomers in the last month. So what’s the catch? There are, of course, conditions. Buyers must renovate the property within three years from the purchase and cough up a down payment guarantee of €2,000 ($2,378), which will be returned once the works are finished. And Castropignano isn’t exactly a lively place—it has just one restaurant, a bar, a pharmacy and a few B&Bs.

Pakistani nuclear program (New Scientist) Sleuthing with satellite images on Google Earth has revealed a substantial and undocumented expansion to a suspected nuclear processing plant in Pakistan. Researchers say it is a possible sign of the country boosting the capacity of its nuclear weapons program. Pakistan has possessed nuclear weapons since 1998, but isn’t a signatory to key international treaties on nuclear proliferation and tests. The country’s secretive nuclear weapons program is closely watched due to tensions with neighboring India, which also has a nuclear arsenal.

Turkey’s military campaign beyond its borders is powered by homemade armed drones (Washington Post) As Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan wages a widening military campaign for influence from North Africa to the Caucasus, his forces have relied on a potent weapon to gain a battlefield edge while drumming up domestic support for foreign interventions: homemade armed drones. Their impact has been substantial. The drones played a central role in recent months in shifting Libya’s civil war in favor of the Turkish-backed government based in the capital, Tripoli, and they helped Azerbaijan, an ally of Turkey, prevail over Armenian forces in the fighting over the contested Nagorno-Karabakh region, according to military analysts. In northern Syria, Turkish drones played a major part this year in a series of devastating attacks on Syrian armored forces that caught some military observers by surprise and helped bring a Syrian government offensive against rebel areas to a halt. At home, the drones have become a symbol of Turkish technological innovation and self-sufficiency, boosting national confidence amid a severe economic downturn and friction with some other NATO countries. But the battlefield successes pose an urgent foreign policy challenge for the incoming Biden administration: what to do about Ankara’s expansionist policies, which have put Turkey in conflict with a range of other U.S. allies.

Thai protesters march to royal guard barracks in Bangkok (The Guardian) Thousands of protesters marched to a barracks belonging to Thailand’s royal guards in Bangkok on Sunday, demanding that King Maha Vajiralongkorn give up control of some army regiments, the latest show of defiance against the country’s powerful monarchy and the military. The protest came after days of rallies in the Thai capital, where a student-led pro-democracy movement that emerged in July has intensified pressure on the establishment. Over recent months, demonstrators have shaken the country by criticising the monarchy, an institution protected by a harsh defamation law, and demanding the king relinquish some of his vast power and wealth.

Brazen Killings Expose Iran’s Vulnerabilities as It Struggles to Respond (NYT) The raid alone was brazen enough. A team of Israeli commandos with high-powered torches blasted their way into a vault of a heavily guarded warehouse deep in Iran and made off before dawn with 5,000 pages of top secret papers on the country’s nuclear program. Then in a television broadcast a few weeks later, in April 2018, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel singled out the scientist Mohsen Fakhrizadeh as the captain of Iran’s covert attempts to assemble a nuclear weapon. Now Mr. Fakhrizadeh has become the latest casualty in a campaign of audacious covert attacks seemingly designed to torment Iranian leaders with reminders of their weakness. His killing was the latest in a decade-long pattern of mysterious poisonings, car bombings, shootings, thefts and sabotage that have afflicted the Islamic Republic. Most have hit largely anonymous scientists or secretive facilities believed to be linked to its nuclear program, and almost all have been attributed by both American and Iranian officials to Tehran’s great nemesis, Israel. Israeli officials—without formally acknowledging responsibility—have all but openly gloated over the repeated success of their spies. Never, however, has the Islamic Republic endured a spate of covert attacks quite like in 2020. In January, an American drone strike killed the revered general Qassim Suleimani as he was in a car leaving the Baghdad airport (an attack facilitated by Israel’s intelligence, officials say). And Iran was humiliated in August by an Israeli hit team’s fatal shooting of a senior Al Qaeda leader on the streets of Tehran (this time at the behest of the United States, its officials have said).

'Christmas will not be cancelled' says Bethlehem (Reuters) Bethlehem is shaping up for a dismal Christmas: most of the inns are closed, the shepherds are likely to be under lockdown and there are few visitors from the east, or anywhere else. Just 12 months ago, the Palestinian town was celebrating its busiest festive season for two decades, amid a sustained drop in violence and a corresponding surge in the number of pilgrims and tourists. But hotels that were adding new wings in 2019 are now shuttered because of the coronavirus pandemic. Nevertheless, town leaders say the traditional birthplace of Jesus will go ahead with its celebrations, aware that the world’s eyes are upon it at this time of year. “Bethlehem is going to celebrate Christmas. And Christmas will not be cancelled,” said Mayor Anton Salman, as workers behind him erected a huge Christmas tree in Manger Square. “This Christmas from Bethlehem there will be a message of hope to the whole world, that the world will recover from this pandemic.” The newly-appointed Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem, Pierbattista Pizzaballa, on Monday said, “This Christmas will be less festive than usual as there will be restrictions, I suppose like any other part of the world, but none will stop us from expressing the true meaning of Christmas which is to make an act of love.”

At least 110 dead in Nigeria after suspected Boko Haram attack (The Guardian) At least 110 people have been killed in an attack on a village in north-east Nigeria blamed on the Boko Haram jihadist group, according to the UN humanitarian coordinator in the country. “At least 110 civilians were ruthlessly killed and many others were wounded in this attack,” Edward Kallon said in a statement after initial tolls indicated 43 and then at least 70 dead from the massacre on Saturday by suspected Boko Haram fighters. The attack took place in the village of Koshobe near the main city of Maiduguri, with assailants targeting farmers on rice fields.

Malaria death toll to exceed COVID-19’s in sub-Saharan Africa (Reuters) Deaths from malaria due to disruptions during the coronavirus pandemic to services designed to tackle the mosquito-borne disease will far exceed those killed by COVID-19 in sub-Saharan Africa, the World Health Organization warned. More than 409,000 people globally—most of them babies in the poorest parts of Africa—were killed by malaria last year, the WHO said, and COVID-19 will almost certainly push that toll higher in 2020.

[harryscumcloth]

Forever, Always

This is the second and final part of Mister and Missus Maybe. Special thank you’s to @loveandyourstrulyh​ and @sleepyeyedstyles​. I say this every time but I really appreciate the help and feedback.

Warnings: depression, anxiety, talks of death and miscarriage.

“I’ve phoned a few people that I know for more information about her.” He watches you push your food around on your plate. “You should go. I think it will be good for you baby.”

You sit slouched in the chair, with your knees pulled to your chest with your elbows propped on it, the other leg dangling, and the other hand playing with your food.

“I don’t want to.” You mutter.

“What’s that?” His voice becomes stern and his posture changes to stiff.

“I said I don’t want to.” Your tone becomes harsh, pissing him off. He’s been fed up with this for a while. Your constant moping has ultimately become enough.

You’re startled when he slams both of his hands down on the dining table, knocking both glasses of wine on to the floor. “I’m not giving you a choice, (y/n)!”

The look upon your face makes him immediately regret his impulsive action.

“Love, I’m sorry.”

He apologizes but you aren’t sure for what. Forcing you to go to a therapist? Slamming his hands on the table? Staining the semi-new rug?

“I shouldn’t have acted that way.” He tugs at his hair in frustration. “I just want you to feel better and I don’t know what more I can do to help.”

“I’ve told you a million times before, Harry.” “Nothing. Is. Going. To. Help.” You pause after each word for emphasis.

He is terribly worried for you. You haven’t been eating. You sleep for over half of the day. You’re not practicing good hygiene. You aren’t the same person that he fell in love with. He senses that you are truly broken.

Yes, he said in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, but he never imagined it would come to this.

Things had finally started to get better for you two. You were the happiest you had been in a long time. The extravagant honeymoon, the constant love and attention from your husband, a new home, the whole lot. You even convinced Harry that you were ready for a baby. Scratch that. You did not have to convince him, at all. He was already thinking about it but wasn’t sure if you were ready, so he didn’t mention it.

Though, nothing good lasts forever.

****

The appointment was scheduled to be held in the place of your own home for more comfort. You dressed yourself in a large jumper, a pair of black tights, and thick fuzzy socks. You even managed to brush the knots and tangles from your hair. The jumper was worn to hide the drastic decrease in your weight. Although Harry knows about it, no one else does. You have been in hiding for 2 months now, and this is your first encounter with someone other than your husband. The air grew warmer as the anticipation continued to build. The palms of your hands were drenched in moisture as well as the rest of your body. It was a bad decision on your behalf to dress as if the session was going to take place outside in negative degree weather. It’s impossible for you to find a comfortable sitting position because your nerves are being electrified.

“Aren’t you going to go upstairs or something?” You side eye him from across the room.

“I’m going to show her in if that’s alright.” His tone matches yours in rudeness. He takes another look through the door window before stepping back to open it. “Y’know, don’t know why you hate me. I’ve done nothing.” It was the last thing he could say before she arrived.

You mumbled “I don’t hate you” under your breath.

You pulled your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them to hold in place. “Thank you very much for making a house call for us. We are grateful.” He says as he guides her to the sitting area.

She carries a large bag, which you assume contains documents and your soon-to-be personal file. You watch intently as she strides behind your husband, a mischievous look painted on her face.

Harry plops down on the sofa, right beside you. You give him the what are you doing look. All he does is smile and tuck your hair behind your ear. “I love you baby.” He mouths.

Your attention returns to her as she approaches you with confidence. “My name is Kim. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Finally?

“Y/N.” You straighten your posture to drop your feet on the ground, challenging her with a facade of possessiveness.

He clears his throat aggressively, signaling to calm down. He knows you are the jealous type. Any woman that he has a history with, you tend to have a personal vendetta against. It’s not that you feel threatened per se, but you’re aware of how marvelous Harry’s love is and how clueless he can be about women.

Kim takes a seat in the lounge chair across from the sofa. “I have a few questions for the two of you before we formally begin the session. These questions will assist me in having a greater understanding of your marriage.” She opens the top folder of her stack and begins flipping through papers before finding the necessary set.

“Marriage?” You look to him for answers but he is silent. “It’s only supposed to be me!” Your eyes fill to the brim with tears from betrayal. “Harry, why are you blindsiding me?” You attempt to wipe them away. He lowers his head as he can sense the change of atmosphere surrounding the two of you. He’s highly ashamed, but he was uncertain of how else to address the situation.

“May I continue?” She asks.

“Yes.” Harry’s head is still hung as he responds quietly.

Tears are still actively flowing from your eyes as you sit in complete disbelief. The whole ordeal isn’t what is shocking. What is shocking is that he believed that he had to fool you into attending marriage counseling. The marriage hasn’t been the same in months and you both were well aware. You are humiliated to be quite frank.

Her hand readily holds the pen and notepad before asking the first question. “How long have you have you both been together?”

You remain silent while Harry answers. “Off and on. Ehm, 8 years maybe?” He looks to you for approval.

“9.” You interject. “It’s been 9 years.”

She shows a concerned expression before writing in the notepad.

“And how long have you been married?”

“Almost 6 months.” You state.

“Harry, are you happy in this marriage?”

You waited with anticipation. He couldn’t answer right away and that was a bad sign. You love him so much but you can’t control the emotions you feel and you know that you are ultimately pushing him further and further away each day. If you lost him… there would be no hope for you.

“Not at the moment.” He focuses on you with a regretful expression to his face. “Quite miserable if I am honest.”

You never imagined Harry admitting that to anyone, but yet, he just did. Your perspective has changed from him loving you, to him pitying you.

“Y/N, Are you?” She asks while she finishes writing his response down.

Your gaze is locked on the floor because you are too guilt-ridden to look forward. “It doesn’t really matter how I feel now, does it?”

“It does matter Y/N, but you never open up to me! You have shut me out for months now!” Harry’s voice becomes angry, causing you to be more unsettled, if possible.

You try to ignore him by looking at the large backyard through the glass wall. You begin to reminisce about the renovations you and Harry had planned to make. A large white privacy fence, a custom built play area, even an expanded patio for when you would host dinner parties.

Kim quickly comes to the conclusion that a typical session isn’t going to help your marriage, due to your inability to verbally share your feelings. She suggests a different approach. “Perhaps we could try an alternative. Do either of you enjoy writing? You could write letters to each other and exchange them at the next session.”

Your attention is still directed outside while you nod. “Yeah, we can do that.” He speaks for you also.

“Okay, fantastic. We will continue this in the morning at the same time.” She begins to gather her belongings. “To make it easier, I suggest you write in separate rooms. The presence of the other may alter your true feelings.” Harry shows her to the door, thanking her again, and softly closing it. His forehead hits the door with a thud.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks, with his head still pressed to the door.

“I’m sure.” You reply.

You went to separate rooms and stayed put for hours. You rewrote the letter 10 times, and reread it 50. You wanted to make sure you didn’t leave anything out and that you hit every point. It’s a full piece of notebook paper, front and back. Happy with the final piece, you tuck it away in the desk and walk back to the bedroom. You assumed Harry was already asleep when you climbed in, so you were careful not to disturb him.

Neither of you slept that night. Curiosity held both minds captive.

***

Kim arrived right on time, just as she did yesterday. “We can begin when you are ready.” She says. “Would you like to face each other, or read in separate rooms?”

You look at Harry for him to decide. “We can face each other.”

When Harry hands you his paper, you notice that it is a little less than half of what you had written for him. You feel disappointed, but eager to read it. His eyes widen at the shock of how much you had written him. He wasn’t expecting you to say much, because you never do.

Dear y/n,

I want to start this by telling you how much I love you. I love you more than anything. Times have been tough lately and I’ve done my best to guide you, but it has not been an easy ride. I know what your pain is about. You have endured more tragedy than anyone I have known. They would have been so proud of how strong you were and how you pushed through. I wish you had used your safety belt… maybe it would have ended differently. I know the guilt consumes you, but it’s not entirely your fault. The timing wasn’t right for our baby. We were just kids the first go around. Silly kids might I add. I felt the pain because it was my child too. I still remember the look on your face the day that I proposed. You told me that you didn’t like big commitments, because you always end up alone. I promised you I would not leave you. I thought things were getting better for us, but it happened a second time. The doctors told you that it could be fatal for you if you were to become pregnant again. I believe that was the exact moment you lost yourself for good. I am tired of waking up feeling like I am a stranger in my own home. I need your love and attention. If things had turned out differently, I know we could be together indefinitely. I still mean every word I wrote in my vows. But I am breaking my promise to never leave you, because I have to think about myself for once. I hope you accept the help I am offering you, so you can get better. I’ll love you forever, no matter what.

Always, h.

You felt as your heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. His letter meant there was no going back. You successfully pushed him away, unintentionally. If you weren’t completely broken already, you were now. Harry wasn’t even the one to blame.

You folded the letter back to its original shape before noticing he has yet to start reading. He sees the tears in your eyes and immediately regrets writing the letter. He contemplates reading yours, but decides he should.

Harry,

I am still angry about you lying about this marriage counsel. I felt embarrassed and betrayed. One good thing came from it though. I realized that I have not been fair to you. I wasn’t worried about how you felt or what you needed from me. I can never say how sorry I am for not being a constant companion for you. I am broken, I know that. I tell myself that I do not know why, but deep down I do know. I try to erase it from my memory, but I cannot do so. I am still severely traumatized from the accident, physically and emotionally. My father, my brother, and our baby girl or baby boy would still be here if I had not been selfish wanting to go home in the dead of night. I vividly remember thinking about you while I was laying in the ditch. I didn’t know that they weren’t okay yet, so I only thought about never seeing you again. I was sure I was going to die there. I believe my soul did.

I don’t remember anything else except waking up and seeing you and my mum. That was the first time I ever saw you cry. I was still on pain meds from the surgery, but I felt that pain. I have lived with this guilt for years. Not sure how you can look at me when I can’t even look at myself. I never told you that the doctor said the extensive injuries to my abdomen and uterus were very severe and I probably wouldn’t be able to have children. I didn’t want to tell you because I wanted to think differently. I wanted to have your children more than anything.

I wanted to tell you so badly the night before our wedding, but I was scared. I had let things go too far in hopes of maybe the doctors were wrong. But it was proven true. We almost made it to three months, just shy a week. I let you believe that I did not know how bad the injuries had been when the doctors told you. I was ashamed and scared that you would break your promise and leave me for the information I withheld. I lost all hope in that moment. I think you did as well. I hate myself for it because you deserve better. You deserve someone that you can take out in public, go to red carpets with, post photos on Instagram with, even go on your morning run with. I want to be that person for you but I don’t know how to be. You are still the best person I know. I want to be better for you. I’ll do whatever it takes because I can't bare to lose you. You are for me.  

Y/N

His lips are quivering as he fights to hold back his emotions. His remorseful eyes meet your tear filled ones instantly.

“You’re leaving me?”

[eekispyykes]

Mr Sparklepuff Feline Obituary 5.1.2020/Abridged

Mr Puffs 4-2002-  5-1-2020

by Michael Bench

Mr Puffs was an excellent friend and adventurous hiker. He loved to be outdoors. A ferocious mouser ; he did an arc'ing jump on mice and chipmunks from 2 clumps of brush away. The porch frankly stank from all his gifts. An amazing climber and very fast sprinter crossing a square acre in about 3.5sec. Some would ask why he was named as such and close friends know the whole story. A primary point was so people had a good vibe about him and would let him be. In the past two years  he had cancer of the face that spread. He had been treated with surgery to remove the tumor. At a shade over 18yo, he set to rest as every night he was shivvering in normal home temp and couldn't keep weight on; refusing to leave the couch; hating being put in pet clothes/infant flannel.

2017-2020 were tough years for him adjusting to a new stray friend we “adopted” from the wild. They were startingn to get along. It played into the stress.I feel bad about this. it split us up somewhat.  My younger cat was more forceful about claiming me. It weighs on me; Frankly it seemed like a few rape attempts also that difficulted the social cue of ‘normal cat spooning”.. Mr Puffs was able to get out on a van ride of Fogelsville,PA about three months ago. He also gave some love to his plush hedgehog toy. He gave it a consensual drilling every once a while or daily.

What you should know about Mr Puffs:

:My grilling deputy  and trout inspector

:Loved to play the mysterious thing under blanket or newspaper game

:Love to play the mysterious tapping fingers under the many basement stairs game

:Fine taste in music and loved being my karaoke fan. Love you buddy. Not very keen on Tv after Keenan Michael Keys left Animal  Planet's morning show.

:Enjoyed less usual faire like potatoes and adored bbq chicken pizza; he could handle medium wings. He WAS WARNED each time and kept him away from it till it was obvious he wanted it. Honey ham, turkey, .. and salami**. Mind you, he has never been overweight and was complimented by his first vet for muscle tone. It's his compliment to own.

:Enjoyed jumping apartment building gaps while in town: we had to rough it for a month in a storage facility after an unexpected eviction.. which we then would go for walks 1a-3a to get his exercise and water the landscape mulch at 11th street Fred Meyers. There's a little marsh back behind the store that became our little daytime haven.

:His Hiking career started in Eugene, OR. We would go night walking ,w/o a leash and whenever someone was coming he would detour off the sidewalk and into the nearest house’s bushes.. This was optimal because he would get back on the lit sidewalk and learn to keep course. This advanced to 5-7 mile hikes from U Oregon campus to Hendrix park and back. One trip such trip he was panting so he didn’t really want to run away anywhere or into traffic fortunately.. The sun had come out of the cloud cover and heated things up above the usual. We stopped at an icecream place on the way back on the edge of campus: Agate and 19th. Even though he was tired, he was a smart and collected guy. so he slinked to the back of the shop till I came back out..It was like escorting the supermodel of manly cats.  It was at this time I knew leashes or more distant locations were necessary.  

:While we were driving back to Pennsylvania, he decided to have a playfrenzy on the dashboard while I was in heavy traffic nearabouts of Nebraska/Rushmore on the interstate.

:Short story : Since he now had room in the yard to runaround Puffs tested his speed and momentum to get up tree trunks. Our front yard had a medium sized maple oak something. Mr Puffs ran up the tree and alarmed a family of nesting doves. The doves and Mr Puffs seemed to flee the tree foilage each in horizontal directions at about 8ft off the ground.  

:Other than a shoulder injury from a fight of somesort, he was very durable. His parent's owners had coined him 'Jaco” after the famous bass player.. A green -eyed Russian Blue tuxedo, angular white paws.  with little white hairs across his coat. At times I also referred to him as “Cactus Jack”. Massive front incisors like a miniature sabertooth. I pitied the rabbits who he caught which were still squealing.

:Another Short Story. I coaxed my mom to live a little and put that front addition on the house she always wanted. She got an enclosed porch. Theres an open porch on the back of the house also. When the framing was done.. I went out to the backyard to enjoy the night sky, I heard nothing. When I turned around I had two bright eyes scaring me  to the ground. From 9ft, the top of the roof porch he looked at me Apparently Puffs had climbed the 8ft of framing from the work table, crossed the rafters, crossed the whole house roof and decided to voyeur me on the other side of the house. I was very glad he didn't tempt the electric lines whose pole he had tried to climb other days.Stressing moments on me as well.

:Puffs became a pro at taking baths since 2017, and getting nails trimmed at the same time. The trim helped him jump (getting pad purchase)  and helped the furniture too.

:Another quick story. Cats can swim. I took him to go swimming in the creek and that went pretty good the first time. (Must always be on leash. And probably use partially inflated swimmy muscle). He was really comfortable in the water if it was shallow(2.5ft). The problem with the creek is its near a road so don't be near roads even with the leash on.  He was swimming a good crawl in about 4ft.  A fish mustve brushed his foot because he panicked and started jumping out of the water like a bass on a hook. I literally had to swing him in the air (with leash) and onto the shore into some leaves and grass. There's some fault in not being close enough to him to pick him up out of the water directly. He swam pretty good and at range.  To ease that trauma.. (nearly heart attack probably; that went sour) , I let him calm down. At a much shallower area no taller than his knees(5-6”) I set him into the stream without much resentment and just petted him to get him calm.  (He wasn't a lap cat before that either.) At that point the swimming  got shuttered for downhill walks and other casual stuff.

: On similar climbing points.. even till about 2015, he liked to jump the gap from the upright piano top (4ft) to the top of the entertainment center (7.5 ft) plus the hallway gap of  3.5 ft and he was really solid at it. Would stay up there for a while and then jump down onto the sofa table (3 ft tall).. He was always calculating a new feat. When that one item stopped being in his wheelhouse it was clear he was getting bothered/ annoyed and the stress of a cat territory issue wore him down.

If you were to be near him, you'd end up watching him. This statue of a male cat with really long tail. Not lemur-long but really long.. a gray panther. And, maybe you'd try to pet him since he looked inviting. Yet, you wouldn't get much petting done. He'd probably tolerate two brushes and then give your hand a carving with his claws, hiss at you and find a new place to observe the room,  That said, he would cruise the neighborhood looking which apartment I might've visited, slink in and check out how other people decorated. A very dignified personality, sometimes to the point of indignant.  He was  a cat you'd want to clone over and over because he was just that cool on himself. Cloning him was on the slate too until those type of businesses were closed with political force.. He actually inspired a jazz song  (currently in midi form) that I’ve yet to record. I was tore up about his first cancer surgery so I started writing. Hope that will be out soon enuff. I hope this can help you appreciate Mr Puffs. He was buried at a spot he chose. It was nearby a set of brush he would choose to hide in hours near the middle of  hikes.

.. he loved to hide.  Back in Oregon I'd take him  in the van with my mentally handicapped clients. He'd be set loose to get his relaxation in. By the time it was time to leave. he wanted to stay. He hid in bushes and culverts. I learned very quickly that such outings had to be local or I'd be driving back hours to go get him at night or worse. Once I knew that, we'd take rides on the bus to the edges of the bus line and just chill on hills overlooking boating lakes. Fern Ridge Reservoir had a nice pine overlook off Territorial hwy.  He really enjoyed outings and variety. Maybe thats what kept him interested as a matter of longevity. I want to end on that.  He showed me lessons in best intentions and good in the bad.. and murdering all my Egyptian spiny mice within hours of acquiring them and their replacements. Its not like I wouldn't have gotten him a feeder mouse but there were plenty stinking up the walkway as it was. I'm blessed to have spent that month sheltered in a renta-shed with him. It seems the alternative .. without having enough for a pet deposit elsewhere (that moment) was to lower my standards for the landlords daughter and by whatever 'influence' she had. 'evicted us for periodic renovations”. So, eventually we chose instead to leave and he got a brims of fieldmice, chipmunks and forest romping. I hope that was an appreciated choice. He liked city life too. Should you choose to tribute to Mr Puffs, I welcome it. He’d be the type of cat Dos Equis beer would be looking for if he actually drank it.

Hope you’re feeling better, Puffs; BFF 

[emotionally-imbruised]

Picture This // Perfect

Oh look, another song inspired blurb. *Owen Wilson voice* Wo0w.  

Picture This: Harry being away for quite some time, and he surprises you after you’ve had a terrible day with an insanely sweet gesture; creating the perfect (lol) reunion, with an extra little surprise.

“I don’t deserve this, you look perfect tonight.”

“I miss you petal,” Harry’s groggy voice sounds through your laptop; his image glitching out slightly due to the poor connection of the Skype call the two of you are in the midst of.

“Don’t do that,” you tell him firmly, and shake your head; thinking about how long it’s been since you’ve seen your boyfriend in person. “You’re going to make me cry, H.”

“You know that’s not my intention,” he replies soothingly. Although it’s not the most precise picture; you can see his tired eyes soften as they look at you. “M’just telling you how I feel.”

“I know,” you whisper and look away slightly, trying to blink back the tears that prick your eyes. Your gaze wanders around the large master bedroom you’re currently sat in, not being able to fight the feeling of being extremely small. This is all new to you still, and it’s throwing you off.

You’ve always been well aware of the different properties Harry owns in various places, but when he suggested the two of you move into his newly bought home on the outskirts of London more permanently rather than the apartment you’s have shared for years; it made you a little uneasy. Harry still owns the apartment, and you'll stay there from time to time as the house is being worked on, for at least a few more months before making the full move. The house is obviously lovely, as Harry plans to allow a lot of time for it to get renovated to his liking, but it just feels so empty when you’re the only one in it. 

 The apartment feels different than this. It’s so much smaller, and you are entirely comfortable there. However, you and Harry did slowly start to move, and spent a total of one week living here together before he had to leave; it just wasn’t enough time for you to adjust, and it’s made you miss him even more. Almost making you want to just stay at the apartment until he was back. 

“Y/N?” His voice asks softly; breaking your train of thought as you move your gaze back to him. “You alright, love? You seem a bit down.”

“Just miss you a lot is all,” you mumble in response, but he looks at you knowingly. “The house feels empty without you here.”

“And what else?” He presses, as you let out a sigh. 

“I’ve just had a bad day,” you start, and he motions for you to continue. “It seems like everything that could possibly go wrong today, did, and it just got real old real quick. It’s now 5:00pm here, and I wanted nothing more than to come home and cuddle with my boyfriend, but I can't do that because he's in another country. Now Y/F/N is on her way here to come drag me out of the house, to somewhere I really don't want to go too; and now I just really want to curl up into a ball and do nothing, but I can’t do that either.”

“Oh, bub,” he replies sadly, as his face on the screen freezes momentarily. “M’sorry you're having a bad day, I wish I could be there to help make it better.”

“It’s ok, you're working, making a new album... and I'm just whiny,” you explain and watch as it appears he’s walking through a crowded area of people, the voices in the background sounding fairly loud as he does so. “I’m also just crampy and sad seeing as it’s that time of the month y’know? Also, where even are you?”

“Uh, just had to run out to grab some things,” he stammers, and you raise your eyebrow questionably. “But listen, I have to go. I love you so much, and will talk to you soon.”

“I love you to-,” you start but the call ends, and you just stare at your reflection on the now black laptop screen. “... Good talk.” 

You let out another sigh when a text message lights up your phone from your best friend saying she’ll be over to pick you up in an hour and to dress nicely. A groan leaves your mouth at the thought of having to put the effort in your appearance, but nonetheless, you roll out of bed and head to the washroom to get ready. 

“You know,” Y/F/N speaks up from the driver's side of her car; an hour and a half later from when she initially texted you. “It wouldn’t kill you to act a little excited to be spending time with your best friend.” 

“I am excited,” you retort. “You know I love hanging out with you... I just feel off.”

“Hmm,” she hums in response, and you glance at her sideways. “May I ask if Harry has anything to do with you feeling off?”

“Harry has everything to do with me feeling off,” you grumble and sink into your seat. “I don't know, I really have no right to complain; it just sucks having to share him with the world sometimes. But geez listen to me, I sound like that spoiled girlfriend some of the tabloids try to make me out to be... Just forget I said anything.”

“Y/N,” she starts and pulls into a parking lot located around the corner from the restaurant the two of you agreed to go to for dinner. She puts the car in park and quickly moves to look at you disapprovingly. “Quit your moping, would you?”

You stare at her for a second and raise your eyebrows. “I’m sorry, was that your attempt at making me feel better?”

“Ok, maybe that came out wrong,” she reasons, and you just shake your head. 

“Ya think?”

“JUST let me finish,” she whines, as you wait for her reasoning. “What I meant to say was, it’s ok to miss Harry... hell, we all know he misses you too. It’s also ok to be sad because you miss him, so quit acting like those feelings aren’t valid when you talk about them. It’s all part of being human.”

“Wow, deep,” you joke, and she scoffs. 

“Oh, shut up. I’m trying to make you feel better, I know you had a shit day,” She groans dramatically, and you laugh. 

“I appreciate it,” you tell her honestly. “And no offense, but I really don’t want to stay out too long... I love spending time with you, but I just really want my bed.”

“None taken,” she replies and reaches down to grab her purse; before preparing to exit the vehicle. “I can only deal with your sulky ass for so long anyway.” You roll your eyes at her words, and both climb out of the car to make way to the restaurant. 

About two hours later, and more than a few drinks; you and your best friend sit in a booth laughing your asses off at the most random and stupidest things. Y/F/N hasn’t been drinking since she’s driving, but you’ve been more than accepting of the drinks she slides your way as you reminisce about past experiences together. 

“But you know what,” you slur slightly, and hiccup; causing her to laugh. “I think you planned this... you just wanted to get me drunk, so I’d stop moping. I’m onto you and your conspiracies, Y/F/N.”

“Maybe,” she chuckles and slides away from your half-full glass of wine; replacing it with a tall glass of water. “I wanted you to loosen up a bit, yes, but 100% forgot how much of a lightweight you are.”

“Cutting me off already?” You ask and take a long sip of water as she responds to a text on her phone. “Wait. Who are you texting?”

“No one,” she replies smoothly, and you roll your eyes. 

“Pfft some best friend you are,” you mutter, and continue sipping on your drink. “Is it a boy? A girl? Tell me.” 

“Can’t. It’s a surprise,” she states, and you let out a dramatic groan. “Oh, get over yourself. Finish up your water, there’s more in the car, I’m taking your drunk ass home.”

“Buzzkill,” you murmur, but oblige to her requests. 

Soon, the two of you are parked outside the large house; and you feel the resentment of not wanting to go back into the empty space. “You’ll be fine, Y’N,” Y/F/N speaks up from her seat. “Just go in there, and I'm sure you’ll feel a lot better.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” You question defensively. “And a-are you sure you don't want to stay over? We can make popcorn and watch Netflix, and-.”

“I’m positive,” she cuts you off, and you frown. “And you’ll know why once you get in there. Now go on, get outta here.”

“Weirdo,” you mutter as you climb out of the car. “Whatever you say.”

“Stop being so extra,” she says with another laugh. “Have a good night love, call me in the morning.”

“Will do,” you tell her with pursed lips, before shutting the car door, and making your way towards the front door go the house. The alcohol has definitely worn off a bit by now, but you still feel the buzz as you struggle to get your keys into the door, and unlocking it. Once you get the door open, you turn around to wave your friend goodbye as she disappears down the street; before tossing your keys into the little bowl on the table beside the entrance, and closing the door so you can lock it, and finally head to bed. 

You kick your shoes off and prepare to go upstairs, but a soft flickering light illuminating from down the hallway catches your attention. Did you forget to blow out a candle you lit earlier? You don’t know, so you decide to go investigate. 

You approach the kitchen to find the small flames of two tea light candles lit randomly on the floor on both sides of the doorway; however, that’s not the only thing out of the ordinary. Further into the kitchen is more pairs of tea lights flickering together, all perfectly spaced out from each other with rose petals scattered on the floor around them. 

“What the?” You ask yourself as you follow the little makeshift path leading around the large kitchen island, and towards the sliding glass doors leading to the backyard. As you reach the doors, you find one to be slid open slightly, as Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’ starts playing from the speakers throughout the kitchen and backyard. Still insanely confused, you push the door open a bit more, and look out onto the deck; only to be met with a scene you’ve only ever witnessed in movies or even your dreams. 

Outside, the song continues playing as you glance around at the twinkling fairy lights hung up, as well as a certain man standing there with a single rose. “Hey petal,” Harry says with a giant grin on his face, as you choke back a sob. He steps towards you, and you go to step onto the deck; only to forget about the slight drop, and are quick to lose your footing. Harry, however, is at you in an instant and snakes his arm around your waist to keep you from falling; causing him to smirk even more. “Someone’s had a bit too much to drink, yeah?”

“Y-you’re really here,” you state in disbelief, as you place your hand on his cheek, and gently rub your thumb over the stubble that’s trying it’s best to grow. “How?”

“A lot of secret planning,” he explains, as he straightens you up, and starts swaying the two of you to the music. “And help from, well, everyone really. Had to keep it a secret from you somehow.”

“This isn’t real,” you tell him and shake your head as you lean against his chest. 

“Not real, hmm?” He asks amusedly as he places his hand gently under your chin, and moves your head back up, so your eyes connect with his green ones. He then leans down to meet your lips with the softest, most tender kiss you've ever experienced. “How about now?”

“Still feels like a dream,” you hum, and he smiles. You wrap your arms around his middle and pull yourself against him. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you more, bub,” he argues as he places a kiss on top of your head, and continues slow dancing. 

“Your back so soon though,” you start, and move your head from his chest again. “I thought you wouldn't be home for at least another week. Did something come up?”

“Yeah, something did actually,” he begins to describe as he moves away from you. You look at him curiously as he puts his hand in his back pocket, and leaves it there. “There was something I wanted to do before I left for California, but kinda chickened out on doing.”

“Well, what was it?” You ask and cross your arms unsurely. 

“This,” he smirks, and moves his hand away from his pocket; holding a small black box. His eyes remain focused on you as he kneels down onto one knee and opens the little box to reveal a shiny diamond ring inside of it; causing your breath to hitch. The tears instantly pool in your eyes, and you gasp; stepping back slightly as you move your hands up to cover your mouth. “Y/N, you've been my everything for the past five years now, and you always will be. But anyway, if it wasn’t obvious already; I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want there to be a single day that goes by where you feel like you’re alone, especially when I’m away. So what do you say about becoming m’wife?”

“You’d be crazy to think I’d say anything other than yes,” you tell him, and step towards him; leaning down so your lips can meet again. He stands up, and slides the ring onto your ring finger all without breaking away from the kiss; only pulling away a moment later, as you move to wipe away your now running mascara, letting out another sob as you do so. “I probably look awful now because of you.”

“Nope,” he disagrees and pulls you towards him again. “You look absolutely perfect.” He wraps his arms around you in a tight hug and kisses your lips again as the two of you sway to the last bit of Ed’s song. 

[theimportanceofbeingbookish]

Landscape Drainage - The Do's and Dont's

Several residence owners are overwhelmed with troubles of correct drain. When the hefty rains come their yards end up being lakes triggering several concerns such as, lawn as well as plants dying from too much water, water entering their residences with weep openings or other locations where there is access, as well as simply not having the ability to appreciate their residential property up until the water dissipates as well as also then it is a mud opening. 

Getting the Service of Professionals

These circumstances become exhausting as well as most of the owners aim to service providers for a solution to take care of the problem. In a best world where everybody is honest as well as all individuals that entertain are professionals in their area this would certainly work out fantastic. 

We do not live in a perfect world and also their are landscape specialists that either one do not recognize proper drain strategies or 2 try to do the job more affordable due to the fact that the customer desires a better cost or the water drainage contractor is attempting to make even more money. 

This article is to inform you so you will know the consequence as well as try to avoid them Primarily you should have positive quality on your home meaning that if you are putting a drain system in your yard then the yard need to be higher than where you want the water to drain (a lot of the moment the street). Just how much greater the yard needs to be depends on the length of the drainpipe system due to the fact that to have proper incline you must have one inch of decline per ten feet of drain pipe so if you are mounting a hundred foot of drain pipe than you require the street to be ten inches lower than where you position the very first drain box.

If you do not have the incline needed than this is when you should look in to other choices such as, generating dirt and also elevating the backyard (only when you have sufficient structure showing, you do not wish to elevate the ground more than the foundation you need at the very least one inch showing in all times), draining right into a sump pump box as well as pumping the water out (this option calls for power as well as a much larger drain box where the pump will lie), and also the last option that I will point out is mounting a collection of 30 gallon landscape water drainage containers and having the drains throughout the lawn drainpipe into them. 

The last alternative needs a hole twice the dimension of each drainpipe basin that you will certainly be installing since to guarantee appropriate landscape drain you have to install pea gravel around the drain container so the water can leak out.

Where there is a landscape water drainage trouble and also allow's say there is just 5 inches of incline when you need 10 inches an excellent drainpipe expert can mount a drainpipe that will certainly work by developing slope from the back lawn to the front after that leveling out to the street because water that is degree still moves yet not as rapid. These are choices that an excellent drain service provider will be able to see, and also after that he will be able to let you understand which drain alternative will certainly work best for you.\

Water Drainage System

A regular water drainage system consists of catch basins, fittings and pipe. Allow us look at drain catch basins initially there are numerous type of catch basins that drainage contractors utilize and all however a few are in conformity with good landscape drainage methods.

These Drain containers come in many various shapes and dimensions yet we would certainly not recommend you go any kind of smaller than 9 inches by 9 inches for the lawn drainage containers and also 6 inch round for the yard water drainage basins. Some drainage experts but extremely few prefer to develop their own catch basins out of brick as well as mortar this as well is an acceptable technique and often can be made use of to get incline on the pipe in situations where every inch counts because the slope of the land is very minute due to the fact that this will certainly enable the pipe to be increased to where they require it and a few inches at this point can suggest the distinction in between a successful drainpipe or not successful drainpipe. Constantly make certain that the drain service provider is utilizing real drain catch basins and also not sticking a four inch grate on the end of a fitting.

The even more installations utilized in a drainage system or as several recognize as French drains (which we will certainly talk about in this write-up and more in-depth in a future short article quickly to follow) will slow down the water so an optimal system is using the least quantity of fittings as possible. The distributors additionally offer T's however they are not an authorized fitting in a grass water drainage system unless they are being made use of as a clean out access which is just required if you have an exceptionally lengthy run without a drain basin for accessibility. The Y's are the only proper suitable to be made use of by the drainpipe expert to connect another pipe into the major water drainage system.

There are a number of types of drain pipeline that are used in water drainage systems such as Schedule 40 (The thickest), SDR35 (The following action down), and also Drain pipe (Thin Wall surface), as well as corrugated pipe. If you choose to do a drainage system as well as not utilize the authorized pipe a couple of years from now you might have to renovate the whole system. Corrugated pipeline which is a black versatile pipe can as well as will hold dust in the ridges and after the years will get clogged with dirt slowing down or stopping the whole drain system or one more issue that can take place is a root can grow beneath it and also because it is flexible will certainly create the pipe to elevate and quit the flow of the drainage system.

Installing a drain system is a large task and one has to look into the right procedures to select a drain professional that will certainly do it right the initial time as well as stand behind his job. I pray that this article has aided you in your mission for knowledge to make sure that you can be informed.

or more information about drainage and other landscape services, you may need a help from:

Big Easy Landscaping - New Orleans Office

3436 Magazine St #120-A, 

New Orleans, LA 70115, USA

504-608-5553

https://goo.gl/maps/VCre3jjYsFCnWjmc6