#so he gets to smile his big shit-eating grin as the chief steward slams down the banhammer while he's standing smugly to the side
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i hate when i realize i am in fact the best-qualified person to write the stupid lil fanfic that i want to read
#ok but picture this.#ace attorney. kentucky derby 2019.#kristoph owns Maximum Security and is trying to smugly cash in his bet#but turns out Phoenix's *other* side hustle was Becoming A Horse Racing Steward#so he gets to smile his big shit-eating grin as the chief steward slams down the banhammer while he's standing smugly to the side#also Trucy bet it all on Country House and that's what's paying her college tuition someday babey#god this is so stupid but also i would get to decide everyone's Derby Day hats. which is the opposite of stupid it's GREAT#...tbh i think Oldbags could do one hell of a glow-up on Derby Day#suddenly morphs into one of those majestic intimidating southern matriarchs Faulkner warned about#as soon as she's got her feathered cap and feather boa on#hi i have wasted my whole evening watching old horse races how are y'all
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