#so he falls in love with unattainable people bc its safer than being genuinely vulnerable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blackout-files · 2 months

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i had another devastating thought about the nature of matches and murphys relationship - specifically what i means to raise a child when you know nothing about their parent.

like he doesnt actually know matches?? he has no stories to tell, no memories to share, he doesn't even know if she was allergic to anything or what her favourite colour was. kirby's going to ask about her mum one day and murphy will have nothing but the smell of smoke and blood, and regret like a hand around his throat.

"She stood for what she believed in. She was stubborn and fierce and never let anything keep her down for too long."

god he'd be sitting in his living room with this random fucking kid, haunted by two ghosts - bc Ronnie would've known what to do, and Matches never should have died. and they're both dead because of him.

"She loved you."

#more from the vault (mine and ghosts dm's)#so for anyone new here bc im terrible about actually posting things #ronnie is one of murphy's childhood best friends. he; pj and ronnie all grew up together #ronnie wanted to be a teacher. he left the vigilantism to pj and murphy and he spent his spare time giving lessons to the street kids #and tutoring their classmates #that how he knew matches - bc he was helping her pass two of her classes #ronnie died completely by accident. there was nothing either pj or murphy could have done but murphy still blames himself #and matches was only involved in the fight that killed her bc murphy needed her expertise #so eventhough shes a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions he blames himself for her death too #AND THEY BOTH HAUNT HIM #i love murphy he's my favourite #hes so pretty and competent and clever and weird. i HAD to fuck him up a bit #so he falls in love with unattainable people bc its safer than being genuinely vulnerable #and he lives with guilt around his neck like a noose #<3 #murphy carraway #matchstick (crime lord)

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